Lovett or Leave It - Trump Take the Wheel

Episode Date: July 2, 2022

Join Lovett or Leave It as we celebrate women's and LGBTQ rights (and, more importantly, their wrongs) this holiday weekend. Head writer Halle Kiefer stops in with some thoughts on Roe vs Wade. Cassidy Hutchinson (Alice Wetterlund) ponders a career move. Matteo Lane spends a brief interlude with some truly hideous men. Vanessa Bayer looks back on the dubious ethics of ‘90s comedies, and the Rant Wheel spins like a Roman candle.--You can find everything you need to fight back at votesaveamerica.com/roe, but here’s a few things you can do:The first, and most important thing we can do is minimize the harm that this ruling will inflict. One way to do that is to support our Immediate Impact Fund. All funds raised go directly to local abortion funds, independent clinics, and legal defense for patients: votesaveamerica.com/abortionfundsWe have a lot of work to do to fight back, and one place to start is with our Fight Back Fund, which supports grassroots organizing and power-building organizations in states where we can make a difference, as well as supporting ballot measure campaigns in four states. By contributing, you can help local activists defend abortion rights this year and build towards the future: votesaveamerica.com/fightbackGet to work supporting winnable races in 2022 where abortion is at stake—like the governor’s races in Pennsylvania, Michigan, or Arizona—by signing up for Midterm Madness: votesaveamerica.com/midterms For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast.

Hello, Los Angeles! You know, we have a tradition here at Love It or Leave It. There's something that Halle is supposed to say before every show, which she did not say. Please, Halle, would you mind coming out for one moment? It's based loosely on a Kate Bush song. It's not the exact lines, but I'm sorry I didn't say it. The man's work is done, the woman's work begins.

Thank you. Welcome to Love It or Leave It, live or else. We have a great show for you tonight. Vanessa Bayer and I have some questions about the moral compass of Hollywood rom-coms. Mateo Lane is here to tackle some dirty old men to the ground, or lightly tap them on the back. Fresh from the halls of

Congress, Cassidy Hutchinson joins for an interview. Big get. Oh, it's not. Chill out. You've been here. And Alice Wetterlin joins Vanessa, Mateo, and me for the rant wheel. Now, before we move forward, is anyone here working on a pillow? Still nothing.

We have to find out what happened. Like, now I'm getting nervous. Comes week after week, slowly making a throw pillow in the front row. Stops coming the week before it's finished. If you are that person or are with that person, us a line let's get into it what a week Tuesday's surprise hearing of the January 6th committee focused on the testimony of Cassidy Hutchinson the former aide to Trump White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows during the hearing she recalled Rudy Giuliani meeting with Meadows on January 2nd and asking her directly if she was

excited about January 6th. That is even more disturbing than the time in August of 2001 Rudy asked an aide if she was excited for 9-11. Because he knew. In this scenario, he knew it was coming. It's true.

Okay. Okay. It's true. It's true. Okay. Okay. It's true. It's true. What about what we have seen over the last six months would lead you to believe that that man

could be involved in such a vast and successful conspiracy? When Hutchinson asked Meadows for clarity on Rudy's comments, Meadows told her that things might get real, real bad on the 6th. Hutchinson said that was the first time she recalls feeling scared about what was being planned. Hutchinson continued, That ominous feeling only grew when Meadows said,

If you have anything you need to say to Mike Pence's unsnapped vertebrae, it's best to say it before this weekend. Because they were going to hang him from his neck. If they got to him, they were going to string him up and kill him. Drag him through the streets like Mussolini. Which is part of the news. In the most shocking moment of her testimony, Hutchinson said that she was told that when Trump's security director, Bobby Engel, refused to drive him to the Capitol amidst the surge of armed protesters

marching toward Congress, Trump declared, I'm the effing president. I assume he said fucking. Take me to the Capitol now before trying to grab the car's steering wheel. When Engel pushed him away, Trump allegedly lunged at Engel's clavicles with no safe word. at Engel's clavicles with no safe word. After Trump eventually returned to the White House, Hutchinson said she saw a shattered plate with ketchup dripping down the wall, which the president's valet informed her

was Trump's lunch that he had hurled across the room. I wouldn't jump to conclusions, though, that this is like a rage thing. They might just serve Trump his ketchup by smearing it on the wall so he doesn't eat too quickly. He gets a little tummy ache. Hutchinson recalled a moment later on January 6th when White House counsel Pat Cipollone ran down the hall to Meadows office and

told him that the rioters had breached the Capitol. Replied Meadows, he doesn't want to do anything Pat. I was trying to think Replied Meadows, he doesn't want to do anything, Pat. I was trying to think of what Meadows was reminding me because there's all these anecdotes throughout all this testimony of him just staring down at his phone and not looking up

and not acknowledging what's happening. And the thing it reminds me of most is the guy in Saving Private Ryan who doesn't help, you know, when the other guy gets the shh, the horrible thing

that we were too young to see. Cipollone told Meadows that if something happens at the Capitol, the blood's going to be on your fucking hands, Mark. Is that blood or is that ketchup? Asked a hungry Trump. When Cipollone expressed horror that the insurrectionists were chanting, hang Mike Pence, Meadows told him, referring to Trump, he thinks Mike's deserves it. He doesn't think they're doing anything wrong. What can you do? That's fucking wild. That's not a response. If someone says they've breached the Capitol and they're trying to hide the vice president, you can't say, well, some people are

for it. Teach the controversy. Hutchinson says Meadows, Jared Kushner, Ivanka, Cipollone, his deputy Patrick Philbin, Eric Hirschman, and Kayleigh McEnany all worked to convince Trump to make a statement condemning the insurrection due to their fear of the 25th Amendment involved a lot of treats and those little buttons that let the dogs on TikTok talk to their owners. But eventually a statement was made. Of course, these hearings were a bit of a respite from the ongoing fallout of a group of creepy zealots wearing robes, deciding to overturn Roe versus Wade. In his concurrence, Clarence Thomas said the Supreme Court should next reconsider landmark cases Griswold, Lawrence, and Obergefell, which he wrote were demonstrably erroneous decisions. Just as a reminder, Griswold established that

married couples have the right to contraceptives. Lawrence ruled that gay people had the right to engage in private sexual acts. And Obergefell found that we have the right to contraceptives. Lawrence ruled that gay people have the right to engage in private sexual acts. And Obergefell found that we have the right to same-sex marriage. Here's the thing. If you prefer that all gay sexual acts be public, just give us the green light, you fucking pervs. As always, misogyny is a gateway drug. Stripping abortion rights leads to throwing gay people in jail.

Domestic abuse leads to mass shootings. The Johnny Depp trial leads to me unfollowing Taika Waititi on Instagram. Where does it end? In an interview, Vice President Kamala Harris said she was against

Brett Kavanaugh and Neil Gorsuch's Supreme Court nomination specifically because she did not trust their reassurances that Roe was established precedent.

I never believed them. I didn't believe them. But as Lady Gaga once said, there could be 100 people in a room and 99% of them don't believe you, but you still get to be on the Supreme Court. And the one person who does believe you is Susan Collins.

You know what? I think you've heard enough of me on Ro. I think it's time we bring out our head writer, Hallie Kiefer, to share some jokes about the repeal of Roe v. Wade. Yeah, you. Thank you. How you doing, Hallie? Not good.

I've already cried once when we got here. It wasn't even like today. It was like in the last hour. I'm crying right now. Thank you. Yes, give it up. Give it up for how horrible things are.

Yeah, so I have some jokes. In his opinion on Roe, Clarence Thomas said the Supreme Court should reconsider landmark cases Griswold v. Connecticut, Lawrence v. Texas, and Overfeld v. Hodges, which of course he wrote were demonstrably erroneous decisions. Can we have one minute between losing a right

and worrying about what's next? Let a state-owned baby factory catch your breath. Life is hell! Let a state-owned baby factory catch your breath, people. Vice President Harris said that she felt shocked when the Supreme Court overturned the case, despite knowing it was likely to happen, saying, it's one thing to know something's going to happen.

It's another when it actually happens. As true about Roe as it is about me, every single time I've ever gotten my period. America is a cage and my soul is a rat! Let's see. San Francisco Archbishop Salvatore Cordolioni has said he will no longer allow Nancy Pelosi to receive the sacrament

in his archdiocese because of her support of abortion rights. So on Wednesday, the Speaker met with Pope Francis and receives communion during a papal mass in St. Peter's Basilica. That's just fun. That's just fun. That's the Catholic equivalent of sleeping with your ex's dad.

That's, you know... Nancy just beat the final boss of a little game called Let Me Speak to Your Manager. Showing what I would describe as a modicum of spine Attorney General Merrick Garland said that states cannot ban the FDA approved abortion pill specifically on safety grounds the FDA has approved the use of the medication states may not ban the medication based on disagreement with the FDA's

expert judgment about its safety and efficiency so in surprising news looks like I'm going to fuck Merrick Garland more like the United States of Psychic Death am I right So in surprising news, looks like I'm going to fuck Merrick Garland. More like the United States of psychic death, am I right? All right, and finally, a Louisiana judge blocked the state's trigger ban set to automatically make abortion illegal when Roe v. Wade was overturned. It's a brave move on the judge's part. If there's one thing that Wright hates more than abortion, it's being told they can't pull a trigger. Anyways, Amy Coney Barrett's home address is 4471.

Get out of here. You don't give out her address. Wait, before I leave, I'm just going to say I'd like to thank our writers, Sarah Lazarus, who is here, Paula V. Gunn-Alan, Josie Kaufman, and Peter Miller. This has been a very tough time to write jokes, and they do it every week, and I really appreciate it, and I appreciate you. Fuck the Supreme Court. Okay, thanks, guys.

Highly key for everybody. Can a state-owned baby factory get a break? Of course, Roe wasn't the only despicable ruling, and yet another blow to the separation of church and state. SCOTUS ruled that former high school football coach Joseph Kennedy had a right to pray at the 50-yard line after his team's games. This is actually a huge win for Jewish Americans who have been fighting for the right to stage a bris at the finish line of high school cross-country meets for decades.

That's right. Hell yeah We got it I got it Thank you We got it Okay Too excited

About brises A truly Wild Tradition Listen Eight days after you're born We get together, and a religious scholar does surgery

in your house. The Supreme Court also decided unanimously in favor of two doctors convinced of over-prescribing opioids. In his majority opinion, Justice Breyer wrote, hell yeah, this is the good stuff. This shit slaps. Maybe he was on opiates when he wrote that book about the Supreme Court not being political. This shit slaps. Maybe he was on opiates

when he wrote that book about the Supreme Court not being political. Something to think about. Wouldn't it be the first justice to do a bunch of shit on opiates? It's a Rehnquist thing. He was on opiates

for a long time. It was a secret. We didn't know about it. Pfft. In a 6-3 decision. Listen, it's been a long fucking... This week has been seven years long. In a 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court voted

to curtail the EPA's power to curb greenhouse gas emissions and move the nation toward cleaner energy. In her dissent, Justice Kagan said the ruling strips the Environmental Protection Agency of the power Congress gave it to respond to the most pressing environmental challenge of our time. On the bright side, the EPA still has the power Congress gave it to gently encourage Americans to cut up our plastic six-packs. For now.

For now. In a small bright spot, Judge Katangy Brown Jackson was sworn in on Thursday, becoming the first black woman to serve on the Supreme Court. A great day for a new justice, though I will say joining the Supreme Court after this week is a little bit like getting hired at Theranos now. It's just like,

wow. Let me walk through the fucking wreckage to my new office. It smells like Stephen Breyer's tears in here. The beloved Sesame Street puppet Elmo received his COVID-19 vaccine in a public service announcement for kids on Tuesday. Employer vaccine mandates really do work. On Tuesday, Ghislaine Maxwell was sentenced to 20 years in prison for her role in assisting Jeffrey Epstein's sex-trafficking operation.

It is rare that you see a woman getting credit for her work in such a male-dominated industry. At the Medieval Times in Lyndhurst, New Jersey, employees will vote on July 15th on whether or not to unionize. Let's hope this labor dispute doesn't lead to scabs. Scabs being one of the leading causes of death in medieval times. Like antibiotics. On Tuesday, Airbnb. I don't know why today I'm explaining every joke. But once in a while, I just want to let you in on a little something that happens.

Once in a while, I'll do something on stage. A couple shows in a row row and then there'll be a meeting. There'll be a meeting at the office and all of a sudden eyes will search to each other and they will go to one person and it will realize that there was a conversation about telling me to stop doing something. This guy's like horrified. And I always say,

fuck you. Thank you for telling me. I always know it's coming, too. It's a quiet moment. The meeting's almost over. Eyes darting around. And it's like, I'm going to get a hard truth. It's time.

Hit me. What am I doing wrong? On Tuesday, Airbnb announced that parties are now banned at all properties listed on their site. Bad news for the freaks out there who found something to celebrate. I think this will be a strong signal to the communities that we're servicing that we are invested in their well-being,

said their new CEO, the dad from Footloose. And finally, influencers were the first to report hospitalizations and elevated liver enzymes after eating Daily Harvest's French Lentil and Leek Crumbles. Did you hear about this? Yeah. So they mailed out this thing to a bunch of influencers and it fucking leveled half of them.

They're all like fucked up. They called them Leek Crumbles because every woman who eats them le them leak crumbles because everyone who eats them leaks and crumbles. Coming up next, a word from our sponsor. Thank you. Thank you. Before we continue with the show,

you know it's easy to feel isolated and alone during these strange and stressful times. But here on Love It or Leave It, we believe in reaching out and forming community with those who care about us the most. I'm referring, of course, to the corporations. In the wake of the repeal of Roe versus Wade, companies like Disney, Meta, Dick's Sporting Goods, Warner Brothers, Condé Nast publicly announced their plans to cover or at least subsidize expenses for employees forced to travel to access abortion services in a different state. But of course, as Clarence Thomas' concurrence revealed, he and his fellow justices might soon reconsider all of the court's substantive due process precedents. That is to say, the Supreme Court is nowhere near done taking away our rights. And as a trusted news source, some corporations sent us their statements in preparation for the overturning of other cases. And I'm so honored to share them throughout the show. Clarence Thomas declared his intention to overturn Lawrence v. Texas,

a fate no gay person wants to contemplate, at Motel 6. We know what it's like for people not to want to contemplate something. From the stains on our bedsheets, to the stains on our bed sheets to the stains on our carpets to the stains on our bathroom ceiling. In solidarity with queer Americans, we pledged to free rooms up to one week provided you book your stay with the exclusive aim of committing acts of sodomy. Motel 6, hey,

that's what you were going to do here anyway. Powerful words. Coming up next, this week's protagonist stops by. And we're back. Who doesn't love a surprise, be it a birthday party,

a free cake pop because a Starbucks is about to close and the barista can tell you're stoned and gay, which is the best moment of my day, or a bombshell hearing that the January 6th committee

has to spring on us last minute so their star witness doesn't get disappeared. Hold on to your butts, dear listeners, because that former aide to Trump's chief of staff, Mark Meadows, is here to tell us more about what she witnessed as the clue plot unfolded around her. Please give a warm welcome to Cassidy Hutchinson. Hello. Hi. You can Hutchinson. Hello.

Hi. Okay, you can just sit. Hello, everyone. Hi. Cassidy. That's correct. Thank you for being here. We were so excited when you agreed to an interview.

I am grateful for this opportunity to appear for this job. I have agreed to appear for a job interview in front of a live audience, and I consent to being recorded. I'm sorry, did you say job interview? No, no, okay. That's correct. We wanted to talk to you,

we wanted to interview you about the bonkers testimony you gave to the January 6th committee about how Trump knew his supporters were armed and still urged him to go to the Capitol. You thought this was a job interview. I had assumed you got my contact info from ZipRecruiter, did you not?

No, not ZipRecruiter. Then who did I give my social security number to? I don't know why he would send that to anyone. Would you even want to work at Crooked, Cassidy? We're a progressive media company. To be quite honest, John, since honesty is a very important thing to me ever since the very beginning of this week um crooked is not my first choice i just figure that it is smart to have backups um i had heard that there is competition for the view that is something to the effect of effing ruthless.

Yeah, I bet it is. I mean, I had cut the brakes on Alyssa Farrah's car, but that doesn't necessarily guarantee anything. I had heard reports that Alyssa Farrah was, she wanted that job so badly that she would, something to the effect of punch her feet through the floorboards and stop that car life effing Fred Flintstone right in front of ABC Studios. So just, I just want, I'm sorry, to follow up.

So you're saying that even if you did cut her brakes, your fear would be that you would punch her feet through the floorboards and stop the car like Fred Flintstone in front of ABC studios. That's correct. I personally find these too late anti-Trump Republicans to be yabba-dabba duplicitous. Here the card says, don't get cute with me, John. I can't help it.

I'm in my little stinker era. I have just 15 minutes of fame to capitalize on, John. And so there's no guarantee that I will be able to be a contestant on The Bachelor this season, although everything about my persona will lead you to that conclusion. I do have a few questions before I agree to work for you, though. I don't even know what job are you applying for? Question number one. How many times a week on average would you say that you hurl your lunch

at the wall in a fit of rage? On average? Zero times. I am deeply committed to finishing my lunch. Okay, and what about your co-hosts? Would Tommy, for instance, ever fling a burger at a wall?

You think Tommy is eating burgers for lunch? That man is a salad with a protein every goddamn day. And you know, most jobs aren't like the Trump White House. You understand that you were working for fucking ghouls, right? Question number two. When your security detail refuses to take you to a violent riot of your own creation, do you typically react by A, screaming unexcelative, B, lunging for the steering wheel,

C, trying to strangle the driver, or D, all of the above? Okay, so I don't have a security detail or even a driver unless you count my Tesla autopilot. But that always takes me to wherever I want to go no matter how many dogs are in the way. We changed it from pedestrians. I don't like dogs or cats. I'm a bird person. That checks out.

You're a bird person. That makes sense. Well, at this point in the interview, I would just like to point out that you haven't asked me a single question. This isn't a job interview. So here's my resume. Okay, let me check this out. Alright, well, okay, let's see. Let's see what we got. It says

it says here that you're proficient in Microsoft Office fitting burned scraps of paper back together and profound cognitive dissonance. Yes, that's right. Also, keynote. Well, all right.

Tell me, what did you find most rewarding and most challenging about interning for Senator Ted Cruz? I plead the fifth. I don't think you can plead the fifth. Or maybe, I'm not a lawyer. Can you just plead the fifth anywhere I don't think you can plead the fifth. I'm not a lawyer. Can you just plead the fifth anywhere? Back to my questions. Imagine yourself in the following scenario.

The audience for your weekly show is only half full, but the remaining ticket holders in the lobby are all heavily armed. Do you demand they be allowed in, or do you encourage them to burn the theater to the ground? First of all, Love It or Leave It fans don't bring guns. They bring half-finished throw pillows. At least they used to, before they cast me aside for some other live gay podcast recording. I still want to see that final pillow.

No offense, but I am going to put that on my con list. Remember, John, this is a job seeker's market. Cassidy, here's a genuine question. You obviously have some sense of right and wrong. Something compelled you to speak out this week, and yet you were an enthusiastic member of the Trump administration. How is it possible that January 6th was the first time Trump went too far for you? The president was out of control that day.

He put his own interests ahead of the country's. I was saddened. But that's what he did the whole time. He was like that the whole time. John, do you know the thing about how if you put a frog in a pot of water and heat it up slowly enough, the frog will boil alive?

Sure. Okay, well, it's not true. The frog will jump right out once it gets a little too hot. So it is a myth. So you have to hold the lid on tight and wait for the dong sounds to stop. I'm sorry. What do you mean? What are the dongs?

The sounds it makes when the little soft frog head hits the metal on a pot of water on the stove. Something to the effect of dong. Dong. Dong. Sorry. I'm sorry. Dong. So.

Dong. Is that what you're saying? And it's slow. It gets slow down. So basically you put the frog in when the water is cold. You turn the water up. You hold the lid on, and then once it gets hot enough, it goes dong.

Dong. Because you're keeping the lid on. You should keep your hand on the lid at all times. Because it'll move. That is the protocol. Please continue. I just, I do understand what it is like for you libs, okay? You can't really appreciate the moral compromises I've made in my life.

The decision to work for Trump, my capacity to look past his many transgressions until the final day of his collapsing presidency. But as I stood there, smiling, basking in the glow of flashing cameras after my heroic testimony, enjoying the strange new respect of coastal elites like you in a world in which we've repealed the abomination that was Roe v. Wade, I realized something.

Women can have it all. What are you talking about? If you think about it, I'm celebrated for my bravery as i have done more than close my eyes and fallen backwards in a trust fall with an establishment that is so desperate to catch me no matter the cost we all pay for what people like me did that's tough to hear do you have any any references? House GOP whip Steve Scalise. Fuck, what? Who once described himself as something to the effect of

David Duke without the baggage. You know what, Cassidy? Don't call us, we'll call you. Thanks, John. Cassidy Hutchinson, everybody. Come on. Alice Wetterlin, everybody. Come on. Alice Wetterlin, everybody. When we come back,

we're on disgusting old man watch. So stay alert and stay ready. Wow. This week has been incredibly challenging, which is why I'm so thrilled to share yet another powerful corporate statement of solidarity. Anticipating the overturn of Lawrence v. Texas, the 2003 Supreme Court case establishing the right to have gay sex in your home, Enterprise Rent-A-Car stands in solidarity with the LGBTQ community.

We promise to reimburse gas expenses up to $2 a gallon for you to drive over state lines and slob on each other's knobs. Enterprise Rent-A-Car. Let the roadhead rise up to meet you. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

And we're back. Given the week we've had, it's time for the first ever edition of our new extremely important segment, Brief Interludes with Hideous Men. Joining me to peep these creepers, it's the hilarious, the wonderful, Mateo Lane.

Hi. Come around. Hi, the wonderful, Mateo Lane. Hi. Come around. Hi, everyone. How are you? Hey. Thanks for being here. How you doing? I'm doing well, thanks.

How are you? You know, you always appear in my TikTok for you. That's a thanks. How do you think? I feel like... Okay, go on. Is that a strange thing to say?

A Jiminy Glick interview. I love this. Go on. This is great. You go, you appear in my TikTok for you. I'm like, thanks. And then you just look down. You're like, next question.

I'm like, well, you didn't say it was bad or good. I love it. This is okay. Look, the algorithm knows what I want. It gives me what I want. Okay. And it's you. Thank you.

It's me and Mariah. And hot guys making clay pots. Is that a thing? And videos of Karens in various grocery stores. I don't know what they think of me, but it's not good, the TikTok people. I yelled at a Karen in a grocery store in the beginning of the pandemic. You did? Yeah, because in New York, they were like, you can only buy two things.

And she had like 80 loaves of bread. And she's, 80. And the, she started, and no one had masks yet. So the people working there had like bounty paper towel over their faces, you know. And she's screaming at them. And finally, I just said, you don't have one condiment with that. I said, you are yelling at a woman because you can't figure out where to go in line. And you don't have, no mustard, nothing. You're a monster. I'm like, I where to go in line and you don't have no mustard, nothing.

You're a monster. I'm like, I don't care if that's for the Pope. You're a bitch. I'm still working through my pandemic sauces. Are you? Oh God, what sauces? Just a lot of Rao's tomato sauce. Oh no.

Why? Ma che stai facendo? Se devo fargonarsare, una cosa molto facile. Not Rao's. Get, no. All right. We're going to do a TikTok together and I'll show you how to make an actual red sauce.

Okay. Look at that. Rayos. Get out of here. I'm really sorry. That's okay. Okay. Go on.

Mateo, how do you feel about the seemingly nonstop array of filthy codgers controlling our society? I feel pretty bad about it. I also have a lot of Catholic guilt, so I feel responsible for everything happening. I'm Italian, Mexican, and Irish. I'm the trifecta of Catholicism. Like, when it rains out, I'm like, it's something I did. You know, so everything that happens is literally my fault. I feel horrible.

Well, you should. Thank you. All right. So in this segment, look, this was a week marred by old creeps getting in trouble. All right. We're going to break down a few of them for you. First up. Isn't that the history of America?

It is. Of the world, really. Yeah, yeah. Oh, work. Hey. First up. Now it's time for a segment we call Brief Interludes with Hideous Men. Just for those at home, we have Woody Allen, Alec Baldwin, and Rudy Giuliani leaking.

And I saw Alec Baldwin walking by me. I was walking by Joe's Pizza the other week in New York, and he was walking by screaming on his cell phone. I was like, that person better be nice to Alec Baldwin. He'll shoot him. Yeah. First up, we have Rudy Giuliani and the slap heard round Staten Island.

In case you missed it, America's former mayor was slapped on the back and proceeded to flop harder than LeBron James at... I'm sorry. I was going to try

a sports joke, but I can't do it. Our producer should have put peanut butter in my mouth like how they got Mr. Ed to talk on camera. I'm not going to do a sports joke.

I don't understand it. Anyway, roll that beautiful back slap and footage this is my favorite worker is accused of assaulting former new york city mayor juliani video here obtained by the post shows what happened at the shop right on veterans road west just before 3 30 sunday afternoon the former mayor was campaigning for his son, who is running for the Republican nomination. Who lost, by the way. Also not in front of the Starbucks gift cards. Yeah, right in front of that inexplicable panel of gift cards.

ShopRite employee Daniel Gill was charged with assaulting a senior citizen, which is a felony in New York this week. That senior citizen was Rudy. Gill allegedly said, this is the best, it was such a clear, like, kind of light pat. And he goes, so he gives him a pat on the back and he says, what's up, scumbag? Hero of the revolution, Daniel Gil.

That is also such a New York thing to do. Like, New Yorkers already have nicknames for people they do or don't know. Like, I'm from Chicago. So when I first moved to New York I'm like Midwest And I had my window open and someone was hammering It was too late at night And I just hear another window open and I hear

Hey Home Depot shut the fuck up I was like that's such a New York thing Isn't that funny He stops So what Giuliani said was I went forward but luckily I didn't fall down Isn't that funny? He stops. So what Giuliani said was, I went forward, but luckily I didn't fall down. Lucky I'm a 78-year-old who's in pretty good shape,

because if I wasn't, I'd have hit the ground and probably cracked my skull. I'm touching my earpiece now, which means I'm getting late-breaking news. It is my sad duty to inform you that the doctors did everything they could, but Giuliani has lost his long battle with being slapped on the back. And thank God.

Also, by the way, it's such a funny thing for him to claim. Thankfully, I'm a healthy 70. No, you're not. You're not a healthy man. Yeah, he's like melting now. You are falling apart in front of us. You are barely in control of your faculties. You don't know where you are half the time.

Although he didn't fall apart when hit on the back. He just stood there and went. Well, not enough attention has also been paid to the person standing to his left who jumps into action and rubs Rudy on the back to try to solve his wound, his back wound, to undo it. They're like a bad improv group. Yeah, they are. What would their improv group name be?

Insuruckles. Insurchuckshult. Just assholes. Yes, insurrectionists. Trim this down, the parts that were good. They just edit me out completely. Just the part of you in Italian. That's the only thing they keep you talking about. Just me speaking in Italian? About Raos. Oh just edit me out completely. Just the part of you in Italian. That's the only thing

they keep you talking about. Just me speaking in Italian? About Rao's. Oh, God, Rao's. It's so disgusting. That's probably why you have heartburn. No, you can't with Rao's.

That's not why I have heartburn. It's because I eat cookies and lay down. What kind of cookies? Whatever kind. It doesn't matter. Whatever kind, no. The body doesn't care.

The esophagus doesn't be like, oh, those don't seem like they're good. It doesn't matter whatever kind no body doesn't care the esophagus doesn't be like oh those don't seem like they're good it doesn't matter it's just food being there no but i want to know like what's your favorite cookie okay i will tell you something which is someone gave me a gift of some uh vegan chocolate chip cookies i'm out and i just and i and i've been working my way across them but then i have been falling asleep on the couch after consuming them and i do think that that is the cause of my heartburn which is something we discussed Working my way across them. But then I have been falling asleep on the couch after consuming them. And I do think that that is the cause of my heartburn, which is something we discussed incredibly briefly backstage.

We did. We're all talking about heartburn. I just turned 36 yesterday. I'm like, yeah, I just came with, thank you. Lots of heartburn. Okay. Okay. You are so Jiminy Glick.

You keep saying that to me as if it's not incredibly insulting. You keep saying you are so... Tell me what that means to you. What do you mean about Jiminy Glick? What am I doing? Well, let me tell you why. No, because... Because Jiminy does...

I'm obsessed. I was actually just talking to Vanessa about Jiminy Glick. I'm obsessed with him because what he'll do is like... No, because... But it's a character that he's doing. Of course. Famously. It's when he interviews people. He'll do is like... But it's a character that he's doing. Of course. Famously. It's when he interviews people.

He'll say something and they're waiting for a compliment and then he just moves on. So that long pause of air is a way of like, well, I don't give a shit. You know what I mean? But it's funny. It's a comedic effect. So I'm complimenting you. You're like Martin Short. I should have been a lawyer.

And so are you hoping to really make it in this comedy game? All right. Let's move on to the next one. You were really ready with that chimney click impression. So, I can't do it. So, um. What? What?

What? So are you thinking that you're going to make it as a comedian? Yes, Elijah Wood once. He was like, and you were homeschooled. He's like, I was. He was like, so what'd you do for prom? Just get in the limo and circle the block. You know, just like.

My favorite is when he asked Steven Spielberg, he said, when are you going to make a movie that people really respond to? What's going to be your big picture? The one that really connects. He's so funny. The best. The that really connects he's so funny the best oh this is funny though Mayor Adams put out a statement

suggesting Rudy should be charged with falsely reporting an assault and Giuliani told New York Post he issued this bon mot tell Adams to go

fuck himself that's real that's real that is his response Rudy Giuliani is selling flip flops on his Twitter feed to ronk off his ass.

The man is an absolute crisis. Next. It's been a tough week. We didn't know what to do this week. No, it's been a really awful week. It's been a really awful week. Yeah. Next, we have the gruesome twosome of Alec Baldwin interviewing Woody Allen on Instagram Live.

As you can imagine, their stream was filled with many a technical error. Let's see what they got up to. Oh, my God. If you really love something, you can commute. You broke up there.

We lost him. Are you there do you think to fix the phone he just shoots it i just also appreciate that Alec Baldwin decided for this very important Instagram live, he was going to wear a Titleist sun visor. What a fucking prick. You should never trust anyone with a Titleist

sun visor. Don't let anyone with a Titleist sun visor near your kids, near your house, near your life. Also, he's got great hair. He should really show it off. Yeah. Yeah, that is a thick, luxurious head of hair.

Yes. Stinks. Yes. I'm glad we figured that out. This is fun. Anyway, fuck Woody Allen. Let's keep going. He really is horrible. Let's see.

And finally, according to TikTok, a man by the name of Larry did something unspeakable in the sky. Meet Larry, who just airdropped a whole flight photos of his peepee. Thankfully, I accepted it, saw who was sending it and immediately started speaking up. Stay tuned for the police escort. So I just want to describe what we saw for the people at home and in the audience. So a man on an airplane

decided to just start airdropping to anyone else on the Wi-Fi a picture of his penis. Honestly, she better work. And then he's immediately found out and everyone's like, that's the man. That's the man sending pictures of his penis. And then the flight attendant comes over to him

and is like, sir, don't do that. No, you cannot have any nuts. Now listen. And then he's like, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. There's no getting out of it. You can't do that.

These poor flight attendants. I feel so bad. Gotta hate humans. It's not like it was a fun job before society gave up on all decorum and values until it became a fucking Thunderdome in the sky. It was a hard, tough job on your feet. They made the flight attendants wear heels because otherwise it would be disgusting. They were in flats. You can't have people without their calves popping, serving nuts on a plane. The point being, what is the flight attendant job?

It's like we are servers. We provide food and beverages. We are cops. We are marriage counselors. Also, occasionally, we have to stop freaks from trying to show their penises to people. Also, we deal with just an unending stream of alcoholics hitting their rock bottom at 30,000 feet in the air. That's just a part of what we do here. Why can't they just do a two-drink minimum on flights?

Maximum. Or maximum. First of all, can you tell I'm a comedian? Yeah, we get it. Can you tell I work at comedy clubs? I'm like, get those assholes drunk and fly! I think that this is a new form of what I would call hijacking. Do I need to set it up better?

Yes. It's about jacking off. Oh, I was thinking of the drinks i was like jack on the rocks like jack and coke no this is obviously unacceptable there's no excuse to bring spirit airlines energy to a normal flight i just read that spirit airlines it's just the indignity just the indignity. Just the indignity. I mean, the miles are just spit on you when you walk up. And you know what? Frontier can go fuck itself, too, because they don't tell people their spirit of the West. And one time I walked up, I was like, oh, Frontier, this will be fine.

I'm like, hi. You know, like, it'll be $45 for your bag. I'm like, I'm bringing it on the plane with me. They're like, sir, come closer. You know, just sons of bitches i currently have a 435 credit on spirit air and i don't know what to do throw it out i don't know what to do i can't find a way to burn it throw it out it was the only i was supposed to go to louisville is that in kentucky yes is there another city in kentucky it's hard to see from the sky when you're coming

between new york and la they don't from the sky when you're coming between New York and LA they don't put the names below you but I but I was supposed to go there for a bachelor party which was gonna be fine and whenever I'm on a straight bachelor party I do feel like I'm like Jane Goodall like you know I feel like a Tamagotchi yeah like some sort of ancient relic that they're like yeah this is cool now you know yeah yeah bachelor parties grow up but then it got canceled because of some fucking wave and now i got this credit burning a hole in my pocket well what can i do no don't fly spirit yeah did you say donate it why would you do that something don't my miles you said that with such confidence it's nonsense what you just said you know what you say nonsense sharing donate donate my miles it's not

miles it's a 400 credit in my name also that person's no you of course you can't this is late stage capitalism you can't transfer it they don't want me to use it that is a loan i have given them an interest fee loan of $450. That shit is in crypto right now. Actually, someone, speaking of donating, I was making carbonara on Instagram, and I threw away an egg white. I was.

And then this person wrote, and they said, you should really donate that egg white to someone who needs it. And I thought, okay. Imagine. I live in New York. I walked down five flights of stairs with an egg. First of all, if you don't know that's egg whites in a bowl. It's just cum in a cup.

Just cum in a cup. Could be Cetaphil. I mean, what am I going to say? There you go. No, I had the meal. That's upstairs. Uh-huh. Do you have no to say? There you go. No, I had the meal. That's upstairs. Uh-huh. Do you have no hot plate?

Nothing? Okay. Uh-huh. Can I have the bowl back? We throw the word donating around a lot. And that's our segment that had a name. Oh. Thank you for joining me, Mateo.

Sure. Head to his Instagram page, at Mateo Lane, for his upcoming tour dates. When we come back, we face an ethical dilemma. Thanks again. That was great.

That was so fun. So fun. He'll be back. He'll be back for the rant wheel. I know we kid. But there is truly nothing more spine-tingling than knowing our entire planet is beholden to a cadre of right-wing zealots hell-bent on plunging us back into a sanitized past that exists only in their lead-poisoned brains. Which is why I'm so excited to share with you this incredibly heartfelt corporate statement. By overturning Lawrence v. Texas, the Supreme Court would make it once again possible for states to criminalize gay sex.

Chipotle believes that all Americans have the right to get stuffed with huge loads. Whether you're chowing down on a chicken burrito with four days worth of salt, another man's rock-hard cock, or a fast casual restaurant full of pussy. That was hard to say. Chipotle promises to help make it happen. Chipotle, guac is extra. But blowing your load shouldn't be.

Thank you. Thank you for encouraging me. And we're back. Welcome to the stage, and I love this for us. It's the star of Showtime's I Love That For You and SNL legend Vanessa Bayer. Hi. Thank you for being here.

Thank you so much. Thank you. I'm still learning to sit in one of these things. Oh you so much. Thank you. I'm still learning to sit in one of these things. Oh, well, so am I. So, hi. Hi. How you doing? Good, how are you?

Doing okay. Mateo compared me to Jiminy Glick. Right, right, right. And... I'm going to think about it for a while. What could be higher? Yeah, sure. But, of course, I'm going to take it in for a while. What could be higher? Yeah, sure. But of course, I'm going to take it in the worst way possible, I think.

Oh, well, I love Jiminy Clip. We all do. We all do. But we don't want to be him. Well, I mean. We like him, but you don't want to be him, right? Because I'm not doing a character. This is me.

Right. I think he means the energy, the fun fun exciting energy that makes everyone go i want to watch that that's what i want to watch one thing i find charming about i love that for you is your character is struggling with a lie she's telling doesn't it feel like uh i did such a jiminy glick thing to get out i'm so know, I know. I'm so fucked. I'm so in my head now. I'm just going to be Jiminy Glick for the rest of the episode. The point is,

don't you think our culture... What did you... Can you not get out of it? What did you say? That our culture... dominated by... We're dominated by scammers and grifters. Don't you think?

That's what I think. I'll have to ask you okay but we were talking backstage about how we love jiminy glick we love jiminy glick yeah you're not him you're just delightful and so is he yeah for sure i have to ask you as someone who plays a character who's faking cancer right have you read about the gray's anatomy writer who's allegedly allegedly faked a you read about the Grey's Anatomy writer who's allegedly faked a whole bunch of ailments? This article got sent to me so many times as soon as it came out.

So many people that I think we know in the biz know that it's called the Hollywood USA in America. So many people have worked with this. This is like a legit person that people worked with and truly thought had cancer. And even her wife thought she had cancer. And look, that's a tough session in couples therapy. Yeah. I don't think they're doing well.

I think that if I pretended to have cancer and I knew that there was a couples therapy session coming where I was going to confess, I think you have to reach out to the couples therapist in advance and say, we need to do one of those one-on-ones and talk through how we do this. Because you need to be read in beforehand because two people can't be shocked. I can't be the only one who knows

at the start of this Zoom. This Zoom has to start with two people going into it. There's going to be fireworks. Yes, totally. And almost having that therapist like choreograph it and be like,

so speaking of, you know. Pretending to have cancer. Yeah. Exactly. You know, you talk about this in your podcast

about the kind of weird ethics of a lot of like older movies. And like, I think our childhood we're roughly the same age. Okay, thank you for listening to my podcast. They're full of movies

where people tell like egregious life altering lies. Yes, yeah. And then the object of their affection kind of gets over it. Right. Do you think that we were warped by some of these movies from the 90s? These kind of cute movies where people get over

just incredibly indefensible lies? Yes, I do think you're right. It's so crazy what we accepted in the 90s. And like just these people doing really kind of morbid or like really kind of terrible things. And then the other person being like, well, as long as you're sorry. Right. And I do think that's actually like Dear Evan Hansen. Dear Evan Hansen has really powerful 90s energy.

Right. Because it's like, oh, sure. What he did is indefensible, but he's awkward. Right, right, right, right. Totally. Yeah. Being awkward gets you out of if you just go like, well, then people are sort of like, yeah, OK, go ahead. Yeah, sure.

You made up a gruesome lie. Right, right, right, right. But you didn't have any friends. Right, exactly, exactly. So it's validated. You did it because you wanted something. Right, right. You lied to get something.

Yes, right, right, right. So that's cool. Yeah. Inspired by both I Love That For You and your podcast, co-hosted by your brother Jonah. Yes. We're going to play a trivia game about 90s movies with big, weird deceptions and discuss which protagonists had the worst ethics. Okay. The 1990s, the decade of relatable scumbags.

Are you ready, Vanessa? I'm so ready. All right, which is worse? 90s movie pairing number one. Okay. A man disguising himself as an elderly woman and deceiving his ex-wife into letting him enter her home to care for their children,

where he also attempts to sabotage her love life in 1993's Mrs. Doubtfire. Or a teenage boy convincing an isolated, misanthropic girl into opening up and trusting him only for her to learn that his attention was part of a cruel public bet. In 1999's She's All That. Things to keep in mind. In Mrs. Doubtfire, Harvey Fierstein really skips over giving your brother healthy adult advice so he can move forward and goes right to wigs. Right, right. And she's all that. Lainey is still

grieving the death of her mother, which makes it worse. What do you think? I just heard someone in the audience say it, and I have to agree. She's all that because Mrs. Doubtfire is so sweet here's my problem i think that robin williams should have fucked that bus driver and and the that's my biggest regret of mrs doubtfire he this bus driver is all in i think he knew that that was a guy under there and he's still

ready to fucking go now i will say this i do remember mrs doubtfire i don't remember the bus driver oh is that i it's not in the movie okay no no i'm not crazy it's a short moment there's a bus driver basically robin will basically Robin Williams as Mrs. Doubtfire takes the bus and that at one point his stockings are up revealing a hairy thigh

of course in the 1990s this is proof that it's a man because only men have hair on their legs in the 90s but he's like

this works for me right right right and it goes no further alright we're gonna give it to She's All That. Okay. Because she was dealing with a lot.

She was dealing with a lot. It was worse. It was worse. Yeah, and she is all that, so let's treat her like it. Okay. Is that a movie as well that falls into the category of nerd removes glasses is hot? Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, right, right.

Cool, I love that. I think that's a cool vibe. Yeah. Next up. That's good. radio host janine garofalo convinces her neighbor uma thurman to poses her to deceive a hunky listener into dating her in 1996 is the truth about cats and dogs all because janine is insecure about her looks and of course by dating i mean making several phone calls and having conversation through a door

because this is not sustainable or two businesswomen lying to their entire graduating class about the origin of the Post-it in 1997's Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion. Okay, first of all, I love both of these movies so much. And I think in both of them, the crimes are less egregious. Agreed, completely. And I remember so well when Uma Thurman is eating all the desserts. Remember that? And one of them is just likeman is eating all the desserts. Remember that?

And one of them is just like a stick of butter. Do you remember that? I have such a sense. It's like a white thing and she's just like, but okay, nobody's kind of need to turn around. You tell Vanessa you remember that. Back out of this one. But there's like one thing that's like a solid. Okay.

But anyways, I mean, Romy and Michelle, it makes so much sense why they did what they did. Like that feels so relatable to go to your reunion and just want to make everyone think they. You're crushing it. Yeah. So, yeah. What do you think? Well, I feel like they're both, they're not as bad as the previous. I mean, Robin Williams is committing, you know, he would be barred by the judge from ever seeing his children again.

And I think probably we would all, if we read it in by the judge from ever seeing his children again. Yeah. And I think probably we would all, if we read it in the newspaper, we didn't see the fucking sweet film, we would be like, keep this man away

from all children. It's a crazy thing to do. It's not acceptable. However, in this case, I would have to say, I think what my, I struggle with

Janine's plan is, first of all, they have different voices. They have really, really different voices. Yes, they do. And that's really never addressed. Yes. Also, it's not a plan.

It doesn't make any sense. Right. You can't date someone if you're pretending to be a methermon the whole time. Right, right, right, right. That's going to come to nothing. Right. It was a bad idea. Yeah.

Oh, this is what's on the card. I want to read this. I want to read this note. Janine Garofalo is a smoke show in the film, but the truth about cats and dogs does seem to think that being a brunette is the same thing as being the elephant man. It really is true.

It's wild. You know what? I remember reading an article where she talked about how she started smoking so much for that movie to lose a lot of weight. It's a very 1990s thing that's like, oh, brunettes are undateable. Yes!

They're undateable and disgusting. Do you remember Jeanine Garofalo's special special where she had notes does anyone remember that where she read at the end of it about speed the movie anybody no but i've seen her do stand up with notes i've seen her respect which is worse vanessa okay sorry a journalist going undercover as a high school student only to enter into what we can all now recognize as a boundary-crossing relationship with her teacher who believes she was a teen and 1999 has never been kissed. Or, with the help of an obsessive little boy,

a woman landing a total stranger, she heard talk once on the radio who she's also herself become obsessed with in 1993's Sleepless in Seattle. One thing to consider is talk radio was so important in the 90s. Right.

It's central to most of our films. Yeah. Also, that high school teacher should be fucking fired. Right, right, right. God, I love Never Been Kids. We all love Never Been Kids. So good. Also, I remember I have such a vivid memory of being like,

because there's like the two versions of the hot guy. There's like the Drew Barrymore's original hot guy. Right. And there's like the two versions of the hot guy there's like the drew barrymore's original hot guy and there's the updated hot guy and the updated hot guy was like super emo you know super 90s emo yeah and that really mattered to me the transition between the 80s hot guy and the 90s yes totally you know it was important it was important like okay i'm learning i'm learning what what's happening. What's the worst transgression to you? Pretending to be a teen and then trying to kiss your teacher as a teen?

Or what Meg Ryan does to get that sweet, sweet Tom Hanks? Well, okay. Here's what I go back to. I do feel like in the same way that Romy and Michelle, you like understood what they were doing. Like you feel for Drew Barrymore's character and you're like, she just wants to fit in in high school and stuff.

And then remember the football field? So I remember. So I almost can't. Do you can you choose? I think that what Drew Barrymore does, her relationship post Never Been Kissed, like with the teacher, I think the deception at the core of their relationship

would create a lot of trouble. There'd be a lot of rocky waters coming up for them. Right, right, right. But I think, I don't know. I don't know. It's really, that one is almost impossible. Yeah, I don't think they can get over through it. I don't think so.

So we're gonna give it to them. Yeah, I guess so think they can get over through it. So we're going to give it to them. Yeah, I guess so. What is worse? Sandra Bullock lying to the family of a man in a coma about being his fiance. Another. With his brother Bill Pullman still maintaining a lie when coma guy wakes up and assumes he must

have amnesia. And not confessing her feelings for Bill Pullman until she is standing at the altar with coma guy. After which the brother Bill Pullman still marries her. This movie is 1995's While You Were Sleeping. Or, while trapped in a day-long time loop, a man commits robbery, manipulates women into sex, and murders a groundhog, eventually deciding to spend his eternity seducing an unsuspecting co-worker on his path to self-enlightenment in 1993's Groundhog Day.

All on his path to self-enlightenment in 1993's Groundhog Day. Well, obviously I'm going to pick Groundhog Day because I love While You Were Sleeping. I mean, I love Groundhog Day too, but not like While You Were Sleeping. I mean, they're on the ice. They're sliding across the ice and look Bill Pullman what I like about Pullman and look I don't know if you know this Bill Pullman starred in a cult classic called 1600 Pen

and what's great about and what's great about now having had that experience of having been to use a Hollywood term on set with Bill Pullman is I see what I know what Bill Pullman I like Bill Pullman a lot and I like that he just does he's gonna do things with the character you might not expect and I like that

Bill Pullman has just absolutely no business being in a romantic comedy he is he is a he he should be in some kind of western slash Cheech and Chong film some kind of stoned Wild West movie. That's the character energy he brings to everything he does. And yet he's in this rom-com sliding across the ice with Sandra Bullock while, what's his name with the eyebrows? Peter Gallagher is sleeping. They're on it.

They're fucking on it. They are. But to Groundhog Day, I don't think it's right what he does to some of the people in that town. Yeah, I agree. That's why I picked it. But I also think that he knows, in a way, it's a little bit like Westworld. I don't know if you watch it.

But it's like, because he knows that they'll, yeah. So they're not going to remember the stuff that he did to them. Sure. I mean, they're not robots. I would say that. Many a person has landed in jail after saying such a sentence correctly if you think about it that's true and also i don't think you should be mean to robots because i love robot i'm always scared that robots are everywhere and they're gonna get mad at me

let's do one more okay which is Which is worse? A man seducing a struggling bookstore owner via chat room and watching her in real life like a sociopath as her livelihood collapses around her

due to his family's huge chain of stores and her online love flounders only for her to completely accept him once he reveals that he has been

user NY152 the whole time. You got mail. Oh, right, right, right, right. The bookstore. Or a man agreeing to go along with his teenage daughter's grotesque lie that he is, in fact, her boyfriend,

a ruse they maintained throughout their vacation in the Bahamas, driven by his daughter's desire to impress some boy. So we have You've Got Mail versus 1994's My Father the Hero, which is a remake of a French film, which explains a lot. Do you remember My Father the Hero with Katherine Heigl? Here's what I'm going to say.

I remember seeing it in theaters, and I remember loving it, and I don't remember the premise of it. The premise being that she tells a boy that she's dating her father, who sings Thank Heaven for Little Girls at the restaurant at the hotel, and everybody fucking fucking freaks out and it's a sick fucking movie and it shouldn't exist. It's a cursed text. But at the same time, Tom Hanks knows for so much of the movie that Meg Ryan is his online love interest and he's still continuing to destroy her business.

Right, right, right. They are so rich and they are so successful. The shop around the corner doesn't have to close. The movie never deals with the fact that the shop around the corner, what is their overhead? It is a rounding error for fucking Borders or Barnes and Noble.

It's a rounding error. The rent on what looks like the Soho maybe? Come on! Yeah. I would pick both of these movies so that I don't have to pick Romy and Michelle or The Truth About Cats and Dogs. I think that's a good decision.

I think that's a good decision. Thank you. Thank you. I was like, thank you. Thank you so much. We did it. All 90s things considered, what do you think is the movie

with the worst weirdest lesson, one that we learned so young, even if we didn't know it's wrong, it still rings true? The worst one, the worst 90s movie. Well, I mean, for my podcast, How Did We Get Weird With My Brother Jonah Bayer, God, we've reviewed some really bad movies.

And we hated Shallow Hal, of course. That one is really... It's tough. That one is really hard. It's like, Shallow Hal's a good example. It may be the worst. I think Shallow Hal is definitely up there because it really equates appearances with personality in a way that is like so deeply disgusting. And also it equates

weight with beauty in a way that like is discussed, like everything about it is like so backwards in a way that is really kind of nineties. I think it's very nineties. It's also really nineties in a way. Like I always think about, um, to me, like the essential quality of the nineties is the fact that James Bond punches a woman which is how we know we're not sexist anymore right right right that to me is like the essence of that era it's like it's the end of history he punches a woman in the face that's how you know we've changed thank you for I'm to just bring Jiminy Click energy to the rest of the episode.

Thank you, Vanessa, for being here. Watch Showtime. I love that for you. Check out the podcast. When we come back, The Rant Wheel. Don't go anywhere.

Love it or leave it, there's more on the way. And we're back. Let's welcome Alice and Matteo back to the stage so here's the problem that we're dealing with everyone likes Jiminy Glick but no one wants to be Jiminy Glick you know what I mean? I do

and now it's time for the rant wheel you just did it I also just the more what's funny for the rant wheel. You just did it! I also just, the more, what's funny is, the more we discuss it, the more I bring a pure, uncut Jiminy Glick energy to the show. That's what this is.

We're still in it. Now it's time for the rant wheel. On the wheel tonight, we've got Colonel Sanders visiting General Hospital, Diana Jenkins, the challenges of communicating rage in this moment, Arby's, low-rise jeans, suggested posts on Instagram, people who like to say we're fucked, and the dating app Hinged. Let's spin the wheel.

Oh, and also, just so everyone understands, given the news, we've changed the sound of the wheel to better suit the mood of the week. Let's spin the wheel to better suit the mood of the week. Let's spin the wheel. That didn't work. I don't know what happened. That wasn't what it was supposed to sound like. It has landed on Colonel Sanders visiting General Hospital.

Vanessa, that was your suggestion. That's me. There is an episode of General Hospital that aired a few years ago, and I don't think a big enough deal has been made out of it. In this episode, which is clearly sponsored by KFC, Colonel Sanders, who was at the time played by actor, very tan actor, George Hamilton,

comes on and this one woman on the show and this other woman on the show, one woman's trying to make the other woman feel better and she's like,

I have a friend coming by and then meanwhile they're eating KFC chicken. They're like, this is great, you know? And then he comes over and she's texting with him and she's like,

you're going to meet, now I'm just going through the him, and she's like, you're going to meet, now I'm just going through the plot, but she's like, I'm texting with the colonel, and she's like, the colonel? I don't want to put it that way. And then you have to look it up on YouTube, okay? And then he comes over, and he's like, Maxie, good to see you. And you're like, what the fuck is happening here? And then they have to be like, colonel, I can't believe I'm meeting you. And first're like, what the fuck is happening here? And then they have to be like, Colonel,

like, I can't believe I'm meeting you. And first of all, I think about these actors all the time. And I think about when they open those scripts. And I don't think that they have time for table reads because they film soap operas so quickly. But just thinking about them, looking at the scripts and being like, these motherfuckers act with Colonel Sanders.

Anyways, and then they have to, and then the plot is that he's there, he's like in town, but so it's kind of weird. He's like in town visiting Max because he's friends with her. But then also he has to find a place to hide his secret recipe

because I'm not making any of this up because the syndicate is coming and they would kill him for the secret recipe, which is like, the thing about KFC is like, nobody's like, what's the recipe? Like who gives a fuck? Like you can get better fried chicken anywhere. Like that's not why people get it. They're not like, because it's got this secret recipe and I've got to try it. So anyways, then they're like, he's like, can I hide it in your

place? And then also the other woman, the woman who's like truly going through a trauma, like her husband is like away, like at war or something. She's like a journalist. And she's she's like colonel i have to write this down i have to put this in the paper like people are gonna love this and he's like this is a secret it's like so stupid anyway and then and then he's like well he doesn't want people to know the syndicate is after him for a secret recipe so anyways then he's like do you have somewhere where i could hide my secret recipe he has it in like this dinky little envelope. Okay. And then Max is like, I have the perfect place. And she just,

in her living room, just opens this book that has like one, like one of those books that's like actually a box, but it has like, it looks like a book. It's a hollowed out book.

Yeah, a hollowed out book. And she's like, I've got this. And he's like, perfect. And then she puts it in there and then they close it. And then it's like,

he's just, then he's just like, well, I've got to be on my way. And it's like, what the fuck was that? And nobody talks about it. And I'm like, this's just, then he's just like, well, I've got to be on my way. And it's like, what the fuck was that? And nobody talks about it. And I'm like, this is the most egregious product placement I've ever seen in my entire life.

And I can't believe it wasn't made, like, no one talked about it. And it's just like, we, and I will say this, and then I'm almost done, okay? I will say this. Soap opera fans, like, deal with a lot. Like, they will, people come back from the dead all the time people actors a new actor will play the same character

like it'll be a new person like the next day and people will be like like it just doesn't doesn't matter to anybody everyone's like oh yeah like this is John you know what I mean

anyways they test you and they test you and they test you and the audience takes and takes and takes it but at a certain point you can't have Colonel Sanders come on the show.

That's all. That was amazing. Incredible. Incredible. And I will say, it sounds to me as if that recipe is still in that book. I think the recipe is still in that book. You are right, though. No one's asking for the recipe.

That's not a KFC thing No it's a secret The seven herbs and spices It's special Eleven Eleven That's what he says Is it eleven or seven

He goes in this envelope Is the eleven herbs and spices Sounds like it's eleven He says eleven herbs and spices It must be eleven And it's like Nobody even knows that Who cares

Well famously Well one of them's pubes According to last time I ate there. All right, let's spin it again. Let's just spin it again. That was so good. The normal noise. Come on.

That wasn't what it was like. We went from Kendra. We tested it at the office it just sounded like a woman's scream that doesn't sound like that it sounds mechanical no don't do it again it's landed on arby's i just you know it's not even it's not gonna be as funny as that but it's just you know like this business is really hard and like for a long time you know when you're like struggling to make it like every once in a while i'd walk by an arby's and i'd be like you know if arby's is still here i could make it that's pretty much i just don't understand anyone's craving arby's like if anyone's like god i could go for some arby's like just walk into the river

like you're a waste of time. No one likes you. You're not fun. No one's ever gone to a party and seen Arby's there and like, yes! Like, Arby's isn't like KFC. They're like, no, we're just sliced meat and mustard. Now get in here. Like, it's not fun.

There's not like Arby's toys. There's not. Arby's sucks. That's it. Now, there are people out there that might be wondering, if that's true, who's keeping Arby's alive? Here's the thing with Arby's. I'm going to say two things.

One, horsey sauce. Two, curly fries. Curly fries, baby. You can't get curly fries at McDonald's. Do you eat it with your Rao's marinara sauce, too? Listen, I know you're like a, you're a sophisticate. Thank you. You're making carbonara, you're poo-pooing, you're putting your nose up.

Yes. At Arby's. Correct. Horsey sauce, curly fries. And every once in a while, here's. Correct. Horsey sauce, curly fries. And every once in a while, here's the thing. Sometimes you put McDonald's into the GPS and then you'll pass the Arby's on sunset. And you'll say, let's change plans. And then the next morning at 7 a.m. you're like, I shouldn't have done that.

I shouldn't have done that. Let's spin it again. That's really something else. It's just been through. that let's spin it again low-rise jeans landed on low-rise jeans Alice so I did write this one out because it's really emotional for me um I know that we all remember where we were when we heard that low-rise jeans are back. Some of you may be here right now hearing this.

And I hate to be the bearer of this news. It is heartbreaking. But it's here. Vogue, which could be seen as fashion's, I'm going to say, highest court in the land, recently posted an article saying, the latest denim trend to grace the spring 22 runways, ultra low-rise jeans. Ultra?

That's right. Now, I remember when I was a girl. We fought against low-rise jeans, which glorified unachievable body types. These were the years of whale tail, tramp stamps, muffin top. I remember when you could only get a good rise from vendors that operated in the shadows. It's so hard to believe that we have slid so far back or, shall

I say, so low. But here we are. Here we are, okay? But I wanted to talk about this tonight. Yes, I did. Because even though Bella Hadid is wearing low-rise jeans right now, that doesn't mean that we have to let them spread to Rihanna, who I like to think of as a sanctuary celebrity. some backing music. I didn't. But here's the thing. It's going to take time and it is going to take all of us. There are no quick fixes. The fact is that while we were wearing high rise, figure flattering, stretch denim for decades, low rise jeans have been fighting in the background, jeans have been fighting in the background doggedly pursuing their goal of showing our front pubes and now i know it's easy to blame each other that's what we want to do right some of you you just want to tell everybody about how uninspiring skinny jeans were and how they weren't really that good on a bicycle and then then some of you, you know, from the fringe fashion movement are just constantly scorned

for, you know, what a waste of time we all spent on those cropped culottes that, let's face it, we're never going to win over the South. But here's the thing. We have to stop all that. We need to stop yelling at each other on Twitter and come together because the other side is galvanizing their forces as we speak. They have been playing the long game right now and they are

winning. Before the November issue of Vogue comes out, an issue I picked at random because it feels like a good deadline, I want everyone listening to do one thing every week to do what you can to get everybody involved in this fight. If we all work together, we can not only prevent low-rise jeans from combining with a boot cut, which some fashion experts say is irreversible, but we can resist enormous bedazzled belts from returning.

We can make sure no one but truckers wear trucker hats because the alternative is Ed Hardy 2024, and nobody wants that. Alright? That was great. That was great. Let's spin it again. I want you to know that... I do hate suggested posts on Instagram.

Suggested posts on Instagram? Was that your suggestion? Okay. When did suggested posts on Instagram start? And WTF? First of all, the thing that I don't like about suggested posts is they snuck up out of nowhere. All of a sudden I go from seeing on Instagram people that I follow to now seeing like every other post is a suggested post. And the other thing I don't like about them

is that they're feel like such a reflection on me. Like they're suggesting things because they think that I would like them. And I would like if everything that they were suggesting was kind of like, you know, like really sophisticated books or like, you know, things about like sophisticated things. But instead, it's all someone like painting a nail and then putting a stripe of something on a nail and then putting glitter on the stripe. And then they like, they get rid of it then you realize the stripe was glue and I go what the other one that I always get the other one I always get is this woman she makes desserts with

rice cakes she dips rice cakes into like chocolate and then puts like peanut butter on them. And she just takes a bite and it's a dessert. And I go, oh, my God. But at the end of the day, I just want to go back to seeing the people that I follow on purpose. It's confusing for me. It makes me feel bad about myself. And I never thought of myself as a person, you know, who's a nail and rice cake dessert. So I don't know how they started. I don't know how they crept in.

But I want to say I'm sick of them. And I think they can go take a hike. Suggested post that is. They're not showing me the nails. They're showing me other stuff, but I agree with you. Let's spin it again. Last one. Last one.

Okay. It is... It has landed on a hinge. So this... Okay, so I'm on hinge and I'm bothered i don't like grinder anyway so i was like okay i'll try hinge because everyone says that's like for relationships and stuff so i tried but i'm really bothered by everyone's profiles because they force you to write things like they force you to you can't just be like hi i'm horny let's hook up you have to

like say what you like and i was talking to to my friend Jacob, who's here tonight. And we were chatting about how each one is getting worse and worse. And finally I was like, okay, this is to me what every hinge profile is. So I'm just going to read this to you. And I think hopefully you'll know what this is coming from, but this is hinge to me.

We come to this place for magic. We come to AMC theatres to cry, to laugh, and to care. Because we need that. All of us. By the way, she's in front of the projector.

That indescribable feeling we get when the lights begin to dim and we go somewhere we've never been before. Not just entertained, but somehow reborn together. Dazzling images on a huge silver screen. Sound that I can feel. Somehow, heartbreak feels good in a place like this. That's my hinge profile.

Did you know that she won a Pulitzer for that? Did what? Somebody fact check this, but I think she won a Pulitzer. When I saw Doctor Strange 2, which was basically Wanda, and it was a theater full of homosexuals, you could feel a tension in the air waiting for that Nicole Kidman piece to come up and finally when it did

the gays were like work you better work work she got a standing ovation maybe that's why she won it yes my baby even heartbreak

feels good in a place like this my Australian accent is terrible it's great I will say it does go chimney sweep a little bit

at certain places she was dressed like a chimney sweep a little bit at certain places. She was dressed like a chimney sweeper. Let's spin it one more time. Okay. Oh, that's so funny. It has landed on people saying we're fucked. This is something I suggested. This has been a very hard two weeks.

Crooked Media, Pod Save America, Love It or Leave It, the shows we do, we try to tell people what they can do to be involved, how they can help. And at a time like this, it is when we see a lot of people coming to us and saying, are we fucked, are we fucked, are we fucked, are we fucked? There's no such thing as being fucked. That doesn't exist. Fuckedness exists on a continuum. It does. There's no end point. Things can get better. Things can get worse. This Supreme Court is terrible. It is awful what has happened. The experience of feeling as though we are being ruled, happened. The experience of feeling as though we are being ruled, it is anathema to us because we are freedom-loving people in a country that used to pretend to uphold certain values.

I understand feeling a bit hopeless. I understand feeling a bit lost. But if you are part of this great conversation we're all having, it means that you're paying enough attention, that you have enough agency, you have enough privilege, you it's wrong to kind of give in to that cynicism and give in to that hopelessness. It's justified. What's happening is really unfair. It's wrong. It's morally reprehensible. It is about depriving us of agency. It's about rejecting the power we are meant to have in this system.

I mean, there's a Supreme Court that has been stolen. meant to have in this system. I mean, there's a Supreme Court that has been stolen. It is an anti-democratic institution seized by another anti-democratic institution empowered by an anti-democratic institution in the form of the Electoral College. We are reeling from a kind of compounding impact of minority rule. All of us, the majority of this country, the vast and great majority of this country that believes in the right of people to control their own bodies, that believes in the rights of gay people to live as they see fit, that believes in sensible gun control, that believes in sensible climate regulation, that believes in democracy. That is frustrating. That is enervating. That is depleting. That is

awful. It is one thing to say, I worry that people will feel demoralized. I worry that other people out there will feel as though Democrats are letting them down. I worry that other people out there don't understand the stakes and will turn off and reject being involved because they feel as though it is senseless. I get that. I think that's a legitimate concern. That's a political concern we all should think about, the best way to respond, the best way to activate people. But what is unacceptable to me is people saying, we're fucked. People saying, I give up. I'm taking my ball and going home. You can do that, but it's not acceptable. We all should take the time we need, feel the pain that we feel, accept the disheartening and depleting and soul-crushing experience of watching this radical group of

unelected judges in robes telling us how to live our lives and doing it with this kind of capricious and feckless and cruel and mean-spirited and imperious sense that they know better than us, that pretending that they're justifying with some legal theory, which basically amounts to saying, Benjamin Franklin's my invisible friend, and he told me that all this is fine. I get all of that. But if you're hearing this, if you're engaged in this conversation, it means you're paying attention enough to know better. And none of us have the right to take our ball and go home. None of us. It's not acceptable. I understand that it's sort of a little bit more in vogue to kind of indulge these kinds of feelings. And I, you know, I struggle with that. But like all of us are leaders. If you're hearing this, you're paying attention and you're a leader. All of us have to act like leaders. And acting like leaders means not accepting the cynicism that the Republicans and the right and Fox News and Sean Hannity and Mitch McConnell want us to accept, to accept the cynicism that we can't change things.

We are the majority of this country. We are the majority of the people. We are the majority of the gross domestic product. We are the majority of the voters. We will not be ruled. We just won't. And we can win. I know that we feel that our leaders are not up to this moment.

Okay, so what? It's not about them. It's about us us so we know what we have to do we don't need these other people to tell us what to do we have to fight like hell to do everything we can to make sure that even if we don't fucking like them even if they're annoying even if they're not doing enough even if they weren't ready for this moment when we knew it was coming that doesn't matter because we are adults who are paying attention. And we know that no matter how much these people aren't doing enough, we'll do enough

to make sure that we put in place the people that will repeal the fucking filibuster and enshrine the right to choose in law at the federal level. And we will do enough to make sure that happens, not because we're waiting for Joe Biden or Nancy Pelosi or Chuck Schumer to prove us wrong, but because we're doing it for ourselves. We're doing it because it's the right thing to do. There's no such thing as we're fucked. Things can get better or things can get worse. This court

will be an obstacle for decades. There's nothing we can do to change that. That is not an excuse for an action. And all of us have to do everything we can over the next 120 days to make sure that up and down the ballot, we have to make sure in Kansas on August 2nd, that they reject a ballot measure to make abortion illegal, not just for people in Kansas, but for people in the states around it. We have to make sure that in Michigan, we pass a ballot measure. We have to make sure in Pennsylvania, we pass a ballot measure. We have to make sure in Pennsylvania we elect Shapiro at the governor to make sure that the state legislature doesn't ban abortion. We have to elect Fetterman. We have to elect Mandela Barnes in Wisconsin. We have a lot of fucking work to do. But I really

don't want to hear any more fucking we're fucked. There's no such thing as we're fucked. Because if you think this is fucked, let's lose another couple elections. We can win. We can really win and we can fucking, we can do this. Anyway, all that's a way of saying, if you think we're fucked,

go to vote, save america.com and sign up because not everybody has. We've got a lot of listeners to this podcast and not enough of you have fucking signed up. So a lot of people are out there fucking complaining about what's going on and they're not doing everything they can to help. Has every person in this room signed up? Everybody take out your phones right now.

Seriously, take out your phones. I'm not kidding. I want every person in this fucking room to take out their phones. Everyone's phones are out? Go to votesaveamerica.com slash row. Is everybody doing it? Okay.

Now, you can do one of three things right now. And I don't care which one it is. I would like you to do all three, but you can do one of three. One is you can sign up for Midterm Madness. You can pick a region, west, east, midwest, or south. And where are you going to help? That's one.

Two, you can either donate to one of two funds. These are your other two options. One, you can support abortion groups that are on the ground, helping to fund the groups that are helping people get the fucking reproductive care they need right now. You donate there. That'll help them right now. Or you can donate to our Fight Back Plan.

And that's going to fund the grassroots organizing we need to change the rules that's supporting the ballot measures in Kansas, that's working to get the ballot measure done in Michigan, that's working to do a bunch of organizing in other states where there are trigger laws. So those are the three things you can do right now. You can sign up for Midterm Madness.

You can donate to the Immediate Action Plan, or you can donate to the Fight Back fund. You can do one of those three things. And everybody listening, we got to do a little less running through the fucking grooves of how fucked we feel and how bad it feels

and just stop reading the same fucking negative shit and just get in the fight. That's all you have to do. We just have, we have 120 days. We got to keep the house. We got to get 50 votes

to end the filibuster and enshrine Roe and pass voting rights. And if we can do that we can undo the damage of this court that's it or we won't or we'll lose or they'll make their argument about trans people swimming and fucking inflation

and then we'll live in hell for the next four years that's really the options was this a good energy you think to end the show on? I don't know I guess I guess Arby's doesn't seem so bad anymore can I say something real quick? I've had epiphany in the last few days I don't know. I guess Arby's doesn't seem so bad anymore. Can I say something real quick? Sure.

I've had epiphany in the last few days. I've been referred to online as a neolib shill. And I have been a purveyor of some negativity with my people on the left, even though I'm very close friends with some dumb socialists, very smart people. I sound like Trump. But I think we need to stop yelling at each other. A very good comedian person with a lot of followers tweeted something to the effect of, still in my Hutchinson voice, I'm dumb, but like, why can't we codify Roe? And I saw it as a legitimate query. And a bunch of people I saw, like a lot of people respond to this person you are dumb

basically like how do you not understand this already and this to me is the crux of one of the biggest issues we are a coalition all right there's people who want things that we don't want in our party with us and we have to stop screaming at each other and pointing out the ways in which we're dumb for wanting things different or whatever or wanting things faster like it's totally understandable that a bunch of young people got into politics and then voted like hell for a guy they didn't like and then they're like wait what's a joe mansion and what does he live on like it makes sense that people are upset it's okay that they're upset it's okay that they express their frustration. Don't go to them and then say, you're an idiot. Learn civics. Like, that's not

helping anybody. Okay? Like, so whatever side of that you're on, like, just don't yell at each other about stuff anymore. It's not fun. It's not funny. You're not doing it in a funny way like I was two years ago. So stop it. All right? We're all in this together, and

we're gonna get through it together and that's the only way. When we come back, we'll end on a high note. And we're back. Because we all need it this week and because it is the very last day of Pride. If you have a Pride high note in the house,

give it to us right now. Hi, what's your name? What's your high note? My name is Mallory. I'm a psychotherapist. So this pandemic has been great. But I also have been working for a very long time with folks living with HIV. But because I'm an LMFT and not an LCSW, I haven't been able to work with the community

with folks living with HIV because we're not allowed to build Medicare. So I just got a job working with folks living with HIV at a community clinic. So very excited. Great. So but we need to be able to build Medicare. So that's something that needs to change. Whatever it is, I'm for it. I'm with you. I didn't understand the acronyms, but I don't need to. Yeah. Because I can see where your heart is. It's literally, we have 99% the same education, but LCSWs have a better union, so. Aloha, love it.

I teach middle school in Hawaii, and for three years, LGBTQ plus students in our Gender Sexuality Alliance, or GSA Club, have worked to get a bill passed for free period products in all Hawaii public schools. Well, on Monday, Hawaii Governor David Ige signed our period poverty fighting bill into law with my students leading the bill signing ceremony. The governor also used inclusive language in his remarks and on Twitter, so of course the trolls came out to play. But as one of my middle schoolers put it, it's Pride Month, rainbow shields are up, and the haters can't get to us. Happy Pride, Team Love It, and Crooked Media.

Hi, what's your name and what's your high note? Hey. I'm Syd, and we finished our last day of work today. And it was a motherfucker. We literally moved out of a downtown gallery and got a parking ticket for loading our shit in the car But we're done So it feels good

I'm sorry I'm just sort of like I am dealing with your fucking sultry Voice actor voice I can't read those Is your job reading copy For like Burger King commercials? I did a Care 1 commercial

You know what I mean? It's my highlight of my life job reading copy for like Burger King commercials? I didn't care one commercial. You know what I mean? It's my highlight of my life. Kendra, take the mic away from them. Hey John, this is Maureen from North Carolina. I just found out I'm going to be in Dublin before Christmas this year and I started to look around

at what was going on and I just found out that Trixie and Katya are going to be doing a show the day that I get there. And I was so excited. Now I'm just wrestling with Ticketmaster because without an Irish phone number, they won't let you advance to purchase a ticket. But I was thinking there's literally no one in my life that would be as excited as I am right now. And I thought I just better call John. He would understand. So barring COVID, monkeypox, and all that stuff, I am determined that I will be landing in Dublin December 11th and seeing Trixie and Katya.

So excited. Thank you. And I hope you guys get back to Charlotte soon. Thanks for everything. Bye. What's your name? What's your high note? Riley. And my high note is that as a straight cis woman, I tend to get from the community a lot to learn a lot of things. And I took my sister to Pride a couple years ago. And she was absolutely devastated. She asked me to go and she was really upset. She had a really bad time and was like this is what the lgbt community is i don't want to be a part of it and i was like whoa let's take a couple steps back um and let's educate ourselves and let's

have a discussion and so we had a discussion and over the past couple of years she's really come around and also educated herself a lot and her and all of her friends went to pride this year and they had a great time and she was like i went with my boyfriend and it was an awesome time. And I just thank you and thank you, Love It, for teaching me and everyone else and helping make that transition and making people feel more prideful and help educate people for siblings and family. We really appreciate it. Well, that's very nice. Hi, Love It. This is Devin from San Diego, California. And my high note this week is that I recently started volunteering with a refugee family who just

got to the U.S. from Syria after waiting 10 years to get here. Our big event this week was getting a library card. And it was just amazing to see the joy on the little kids' faces at the ability to check out books and really gave me a lot of hope for the future and reminded me how lucky we are to have the public services that we do, even though we can always wish that they're better. So thanks for all that you do. Looking forward to the next show. Thanks, everybody, who gave us a high note tonight. If you want to leave a message about something they gave you, hope, call us at 213-262-4427. That is our show.

Thank you so much to Vanessa Baer, Mateo Lane, Alice Wetterlin, and everybody who shared a high note. There are one, and Hallie Kiefer, and everybody working on Love It or Leave It that has been grinding to this last show. Thank you all so much. There are 129 days until the midterm elections.

Have a great weekend, everybody. Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett, and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our senior producer, and Brian Semel is our producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer, and Jocelyn Kaufman, Pallavi Gunalan, and Peter Miller are the writers. Bill Lance is our editor, and Kyle Seglin is our sound engineer.

Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure. Thanks to our designers, Jesse McClain and Caroline Haywood, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast, and to our digital producers, Norma Elkonian, Milo Kim, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroote, for filming and editing video each week so you can.