Lovett or Leave It - Trumpcare is dead, Lovett or Leave It is LIVE. Our first episode!

Episode Date: March 25, 2017

Michaela Watkins, Katie Nolan, and Jon Favreau join for a rundown of the week's news in front of a live audience, plus we introduce the Rant Wheel.

Hi everybody. I feel like I need more than that. A lot more than that. Guys. Ryan Care is dead. Love It or Leave It is live. Let's start the show. Hey everybody. Welcome to the very first and possibly the last

Love It or Leave It. I want to thank our panel. Joining us is Michaela Watkins from Casual on Hulu, which returns in May. We have Katie Nolan of FS1, the show Garbage Time, which is about sports,

and we've been talking a lot about sports. A lot. Tennis, golf, basketball. Jon Favreau. Actually the second best presidential speechwriter on the panel today. It's his show, guys. It's his show.

It's my time to shine. Here we are. All right, enough. Let's get into it. All right? Let's get into it. What a week. What a day.

What a day. I don't know if you guys caught the news today. The health care bill failed. It was a fascinating day. the health care bill failed. It was a fascinating day. Yesterday, Donald Trump demanded a vote. He did not get that. Paul Ryan drove to the White House and said,

I don't have the votes. And Trump was like, what? He was like, I don't have the votes. I said, I thought I could get the votes, and I don't have them. And Trump's like, what bill? I haven't been following it. I was playing golf in Mar-a-Lago.

And then they tried to explain it, and he got distracted. He turned on CNN. Anyway, so I guess the question is, sort of, where do we go from here? The health care bill failed. I guess I want to start with John to talk a little bit about how the Republicans got in this mess.

You know, they put themselves in a position where they proposed this bill that couldn't pass. Get into it. Yeah. The dealmaker didn't succeed. Trump the dealmaker. Trump the, yeah, he's a winner. I felt like there was like 14 clips of Sean Spicer calling him the closer. The closer.

Didn't really close. No, I mean, what happened was they lied about Obamacare for a good seven years. They had seven years to come up with an alternative. They couldn't really come up with an alternative because none of them can agree on anything. And so when it came time to actually come up with a bill because now they're in power you had the freedom caucus which is the most conservative members of the house of representatives the republicans and they basically don't want any health care they don't believe the government should provide health care at all yeah so they

wanted a complete repeal of obamacare um most of the moderate republicans didn't want that um they wanted to they wanted something less bad they wanted something complete repeal of Obamacare. Most of the moderate Republicans didn't want that. They wanted to... They wanted something less bad. They wanted something less bad. But still quite bad. So they basically... So Ryan came up with a bill that took away a lot of financial assistance for people who were trying to buy health care.

And then the far right said, no, no, no, we want all the financial assistance for people trying to buy health care gone. And then they fought over that. And then at the last minute, to sweeten the deal they were like all right to sweeten the deal we will take away all essential health benefits but make the bill twice as costly right so do we have a deal so it's like well i mean that's that's why he went bankrupt so many times so the um so this was actually fascinating so essential benefits includes things like mammograms and like pregnancy going to the hospital.

No, no, no. Let the white men talk about it. Sorry. Can I talk about my maternity leave, Karen? I was going to turn to you because it's about lady business. So there was this picture. There it is up on the screen. This is an audio medium as well.

Guys, Google it. There was a picture. And it was a bunch of members of the House Freedom Caucus, which is not a caucus. They don't really care that much about freedom, though they are in the House. But they're all sitting around the table

talking about what aspects of women's health to cut out of the bill. And lo and behold, they forgot to tell a lady to go. Boob stuff. There's no, there's just a group of old... I would love to hear that conversation.

What if we got rid of the thing where they smush the boob into the thing? Like, they don't know anything. Those men have not seen a vagina in years. But so anyway, I believe Senator Pat Roberts made a joke, and the joke was about essential benefits. Yeah, they're going to cut my mammogram.

And then like five minutes later, he was like, I should not have said that. I'm sure these guys are not like now next on the list are hard-ons and they're like covered covered yeah Viagra we're good on that okay so include that that's cool okay yeah pass it on good. Does this cover mammograms for our mistresses? It's actually better if they die of cancer that eliminates the whole problem. it's actually better if they die of cancer that eliminates

the whole problem right oh my god I'm thinking one step ahead you don't have to break the news to the wife

she died tragically now one thing I love it yeah we're keeping it very this is not

Pots of America this is Love It or Leave It and it is very it is very loose it has a very different vibe and I really like it.

So far. Anybody want to love it or leave it so far? Alright, terrific. How many times are we going to do that? So one thing that Sean Spicer said today when the bill was sort of heading towards the Andes Mountain, the plane of the bill where they're going to live but eat each other

was President Trump left it all on the field now katie i believe that is a term from sports it is a sport thing now do athletes when they leave it all on the field pay attention for two weeks play golf half the time and never found out what the rules are yes yeah and they also often discuss that one of their strongest you know their strengths uh it's something they end up not at all being able to do. Right. Like another thing

Sean Spicer said today I think was something along the lines of like, yeah, he is a great negotiator but he can't make people do something they don't want to do

and it was like, that's negotiating. That's what that is. If a person walks in and goes, I'm already in. You don't have to sell me. That's not negotiation.

Right. That's an easy sell is what that's called. They shouldn't have just, the problem was they just shouldn't have included care into the name of it. Because they were like, how do we, because we don't care. So how do we act like we care, but not care? And then I think that's where they got into a lot of trouble. Yeah, no, I think they got themselves all mixed up.

No, but that's actually a really good point. They got into a lot of trouble. Yeah, no, I think they got themselves all mixed up. No, but that's actually a really good point because they're in this sort of bind, which is that Americans believe they deserve health care, but the Republican caucus doesn't believe that they do. That they do. They do want to keep their jobs, though.

They love their jobs. We want to keep our jobs. Well, it has great benefits. They want to keep their health care. But, yeah, they're in a tough part the tough the problem was that after obamacare passed like the american public even though they have problems with obamacare believes there is a right to affordable medical care right republicans have never believed that right and that's so there's a little bit of a bind right it's actually like a genuine ideological difference right that that they they don't they don't necessarily believe

it's the government's job to provide health care, but they're in this sort of, that's what they ended up with, sort of bastardized version of Obamacare because half their caucus is ready to play that game, but the other half is like, we like being in Congress. I know, it seems so smart that Obama was like, just taste it, just taste,

just taste insurance. Taste that sweet, sweet insurance. And look, if you don't like insurance, you don't ever have to have insurance again. But if you like it, I mean, I'm just saying, taste it. Don't knock it until you try it. And everybody's like, I fucking love insurance. So he's like a healthcare dealer outside of a middle school.

It turns out you can't write a healthcare bill in like two days. It's like super hard. Trump couldn't answer one question about what's in that bill he couldn't speak for 30 seconds about what's in that over under percentage of it that he's read i'll set it at 30 zero percent none keep in mind his only contact with the medical system is a lunatic doctor on the upper east side like there's no no who gives him his propitia and tells him that his heart is okay enough unless there's a war that they need him to be in, and then his heart is so bad, like the worst. No heart is worse.

Politico had a great little bit from this, which is like, Trump's only contribution to the whole bill was, Ryan wanted to talk about the three different stages of the health care bill as three different buckets. And Trump's like, no one likes the word buckets. Call it phases. That was it. That was all he had to do. And then it was like, you take it from here. Then it was, That was it. That was all he had to do. And then it was like, you take it from here.

Then it was, watch this drive. I have a conspiracy. Because like, I'm into it. Are you? Yes, I want to know

what that's going to be. I have a ton. Okay, great. I have a real imaginative imagination. Anyway, but also,

like, what's going to be the down shot? And I think it's that, this is my conspiracy theory, that I think that Trump never wanted this to work because, okay, just follow me on this. I'm in. I am on the hook.

Because he's just going to do what Hillary was trying to do all along, which is just. Lose the White House? What's she going to do? What's she going to do? She's just a lady in chappaqua that was so low um no uh that i think that you know if if this fails right then they're forced to work on what they have which is kind of a cool thing that needs some work and then it does work people have insurance everybody's happy and he gets all the fucking credit well i do think that like there is a world where trump could have been

like what he said he was going to be which is this sort of populist that defies like the partisan wisdom right he could have come he could have done a different he could have infrastructure first or taxes first he could have done a health care bill that really was about fixing obamacare and doing what he said he wanted to do which was insurance for everybody, which is just something that he knew sounded good. Right. Anyway, the bill failed. That's terrific for everybody.

Yay. Moving on. We also learned this week that James Comey has been investigating Trump and his associates since July. I can't believe that was this week. Very cool. Very cool. That was Monday.

That was Monday. Feels like a lifetime ago. That was good. That was Monday. Feels like a lifetime ago. That was good. I like that. Cue the theme song. That's the bell that lets us know it happened on Monday. But anyway, not only did we find out that he's been investigating Trump since July, we found out that he was investigating Trump when he announced that he was investigating Hillary.

Very cool. Very cool. James Comey is so cool. I'm like such a fan of his. He wears such a sharp suit. He's very serious. He definitely thinks of himself as like a really good guy. What do you think this guy thinks like when he's like, Lord

Jesus. Thank you for this warm food like do you think he's like what is my role in the big scheme of things like am i helping humanity or hurting i have no fucking idea well i feel like he thinks that if he wears the suit well enough and says things like i'm doing a physical body expression for a podcast, but it's sort of like, I saw Jimmy Stewart once. And this is how he would behave.

I think he thinks he's going to come out on top. But I feel like he's like, now Jeff, my brother, he's the crazy one. Like, how'd I get here? Yeah, he definitely wakes up some mornings and he's like, what? I just was an FBI guy and now I'm going to Congress like three times a week.

Send a letter, everyone hates me now? Yeah, well that was... And they love me and then they hate me and I don't... What am I? So he testified this week and the thing that he said, which was news, was that he's been investigating Trump this whole time. Ha ha! And then after that he's like,

I can't tell you anything else. Speculate like crazy. You're on your own, people. Ask me any question you want, you dumb Congress people. I won't say a fucking word. I'm investigating Trump. It's very serious. No more details.

Ah! Yeah, now he's just drunk with power. Yeah, he loves it. Actually, there's a ton of stuff he could tell us. He's just, like, spacing it out. He is. He's like, I want to come back next season. No, but this is something we were talking about upstairs, which is that

this story is impossible to keep up with. That you're, every day, you're trying to figure out, like, what's the truth, right? You see Adam Schiff, who's a Democrat on the intelligence community, saying Trump, it's probably treason. And then you see Devin Nunes, who's the Nunes you see adam schiff who's a democrat on the intelligence community saying uh trump it's probably treason and then you see devin nunes who's the nunes what we're saying we decided nunes we're settling on nunes anyway what i found is it's kind of hard to figure out what's going on with this whole russia story because you get so distracted oh yeah so so you have ship saying one thing and nunes saying another i guess the question is sort

of we're in the middle of this long-term investigation. We're not really going to know what happened for a long time. How does this affect how we fight back at Trump, right? A lot of us, you know, those of us who believe that we need to do what we can to prevent Trump's agenda to what? I just love that you're asking an actress. Like, how do we fight back against all this? Well,

I'll tell you. Okay, thank you for asking me. So first you get nominated for a SAG award. Then, when you accept it, you'll tell you. Okay, thank you for asking me. So first you get nominated for a SAG award. Then when you accept it, you go fucking crazy. And that's how you stop Trump. My question here is, is Trump legitimate? What? No, but so the question is, what do we do with this right so the so the democrats this week

are taking this information about the russian investigation and they're saying we're going to stop the gorsuch nomination right we're not going to let gorsuch's nomination go forward without a fight because the russia stuff delegitimizes trump's ability to nominate somebody and for like 50 other reasons for a hundred there's a billion other reasons but like cool we'll use that one yeah for sure whatever it seems fine so i guess the question is like what do we do with all this russia information how do we use it in our politics how do we it's going to take months for it to play out john you're in we just gotta wait we gotta wait guys i mean so boring no i know but like look the fbi is on their own timeline

here it's an investigation like they're basically waiting for a source to turn basically and to find out more information. So it's not like, I mean, look, Adam Schiff today. How do you know this? This is fascinating. I don't. I'm talking seriously, and it looks like I have information. Do you have an FBI in?

I don't have an FBI in. He does. He does. He's got secret information. We're going to be hauled before Congress. Let's just say his source rhymes with Bodger Stone. Well, so Devin Nunes today

canceled the hearing. Nunes, I said it. Try it again. Nunes? No, Nunes. Nunes,

I know. Nunes. There's no N-Y. There's no N-Y. Nunes is a rapist. Is it called Nunes? I took Spanish. It's an N-Y.

It's an N-Y. Maybe this is too loose. Thoughts? Are we loving it or are we leaving it? Cue the music. I want applause when I do that. Ands? Are we loving it or are we leaving it? Cue the music. I want applause when I do that. And I still don't have it.

Go on. I bet his girlfriend calls him noonies. I'm just saying. I would. I'm just saying. Yeah. Yeah. So there was a public hearing today.

There was supposed to be a public hearing with James Clapper, the former director of national intelligence, Sally Yates, the former deputy attorney general and all these other people. And there was going to be a public hearing about Russia stuff. And then Nunes just decided to cancel it. So there's things like that. And Adam Schiff complained he's the counterpart in the Intelligence Committee, the Democrat. Like there's things like that where the Republicans and specifically Nunes are going to try to cover up for trump or try to protect trump right and so i think we can make sure that this is investigated in a bipartisan way that there's an independent investigation we can call for all this stuff but like that's basically all we can do for him yeah i was gonna say can i ask a dumb question like why why why would they cover for him everything is bipartisan like everything is partisan now yeah but like why would you look at that motherfucking idiot

and go, that's our guy. Let's help that guy. I feel like they're looking at a horse that was barfing. Right before the race, they're like, all the money on that guy. You know, it's a great question. The barfing horse. It's very common in sports.

Oh no, we put all our money on the barfing horse. That horse is ill. It won't run fast. All the money. Okay, so why are they still with the barfing horse? I think that they think that the Republican Party's future is tied up with Trump. And they know that their base likes Trump. And so they're afraid.

Devin Nunes in 100% of photos looks scared. He looks like he doesn't know. He looks like he's in a Sears photo shoot but the photographer just whispered in his ear, I really know your wife well. And then started snapping.

It's an audio medium. John did the face. It is. Go do it. Go do it. I think Devin Nunes fell in with a bad crowd. Yeah.

And he's facing some pretty bad peer pressure. He took a wrong turn somewhere. I think Devin Nunes would have smoked in high school because the cool kids were smoking in high school. Yeah.

I think we should move on. No, he's terrible. Moving on. There we go. How are Yeah. I think we should move on. No, he's terrible. Moving on. There we go. How are people going to know we're moving on? Gorsuch nomination. I have two names for this section. Gorsuch a bummer.

And we're in the Gorsituation room. I just think he's going to be around for a while, so we're going to workshop it every week. Unless we don't do this again. Which I'm putting at 30-70. It's really important. It seems like he's probably going to get confirmed no matter what we do, and it's super sad because Merrick Garland deserves

that seat, but we kind of got screwed out of it, and there's nothing really to say. Thoughts? That's a real bummer. Moving on. Really? Next topic. I mean, I don't know. There's so many filibusters. Sorry, the bell's here. Who cares? Supreme Court know. Who cares? So many filibusters. Sorry, the bell's here. Who cares? Supreme Court nomination.

Who cares? It's just my pussy that this guy, ah, shucks, that's the guy I want making decisions about my vagina. Ah, jeez, you know, Bessie showed me hers once, and I gotta tell you, I just, you know,

so, it's just a, it's a wonderland. He's been looking forward to being in charge of your vagina for his entire professional career. He's gonna call it the down dares. The nether region. The whole, the whole Supreme Court thing really sucks. And I just think. That's deep.

No, but, but, but it is the sort of like, we all just want to filibuster and try to stop it, but we can also take a moment to just be quite sad about it. Is for life a good idea? No. Well, when they started that, I feel like people lived to 35 if they were lucky. Same with marriage. Like, they treated all illnesses with, like, hemlock or something. They were like, here's some root beer for your cancer.

And it didn't work and then you were not on the court anymore. That's okay. President Chelsea Clinton will appoint somebody cool. Don't do it, love it. Don't do it. What are you afraid I'm going to say? That if she runs, I'm going to primary her?

I did it. I successfully baited you into it. So I want to move on to this topic. And something that sort of was a little bit under the radar this week is the Senate voted to repeal our Obama era FCC protections for internet privacy. And I think this didn't get enough attention because the president is a corrupt moron. And other Republicans tried to kill all the old people. And this went under the radar. And I wanted to run through some of the things that this repeal would cause. If Congress succeeds, according to the Electronic Frontier Foundation, which is a

great group, internet service providers like Verizon and others would be able to sell data to marketers, hijack your searches, and give you other results. You didn't know this. Did you know this? Did you know this has happened? Applaud if you knew this was happening. Applaud if you didn't know it was happening. Smart group. I clapped twice. He clapped twice.

They can insert ads into your traffic based on your searches. They can record every site you visit. And they can download onto your phone an undetectable undeletable tracking cookie that they or any company can use like it like that youtube album that we all got on our phone it's the youtube album but it knows what i want this i've deleted it three times it's not good um it's the youtube album that knows all the porn you like so my question is Michaela

what sites have you been visiting lately it's time to tell us because we're going to know anyway you're going to know house with two Z's oh you're buying some rugs little shopping little online shopping

everything you said is horrifying. It's horrifying. Horrifying. And it's happening right now. You can probably, we can maybe stop it right now by calling your members of Congress. It hasn't passed the House yet.

It hasn't passed the House yet. It needs to pass the House. The President needs to sign it. You guys got to do some calling. You going to do some calling? You people doing some more activism than usual? He's going to sign it.

I want to believe you. He loves signing things. He's got a new pen just for signing. So I guess the question I had is, so we were talking about this also earlier. It's like, there's I want to believe you. He loves signing things. He's got a new pen just for signing. So I guess the question I had is, so we were talking about this also earlier. It's like, there's so much stuff going on. How do we keep focused on these crazy important fights that are smaller than the fact that there's a treason, basically a treason investigation going on, that they're trying to reveal Obamacare,

that part of the Trump strategy is to kind of you know swamp us with stuff all at once and then under the radar they're doing things like this they're repealing a bunch of regulations like how do we handle that how do we keep focused on these littler big fights suicide i think it's the only i don't know the only way like there's only so much room in here for stuff like politics stuff so when i like read three articles and i'm like i wish i was done now it's like but wait there's six more that are still super important. And they were written while you were reading the first three. And then I'm like yeah. Oh I'm like but when's

the nap? Like I need like a nice political nap. Thanks. I could give an earnest answer. I want an earnest answer. Okay so what you just said. You know when I think about that I distill it down. One time I met this kid who gets four quarters for his allowance.

Super cheap. What he does is he saves one quarter for... Well, one quarter goes to something he can use that day. The second quarter goes into a three-month bank account, and then a more long-term, like a short-term bank account, a more long-term bank account, and then a life savings. So, like, 25% goes. And I think, like, when I wake up in the morning

and I think, what am I going to do? I sort of apply that. I do, like, okay, I'm going to do, I'm going to call somebody about the thing that's happening right now on my Twitter feed. And then I have the thing that's, like, more short-term, which is, like, I don't know, the Russia thing. And then more half-long-term thing,

which is the 2018 elections, flipping counties and stuff like that. And then I do the fourth thing, which is the thing we're going to be dealing with forever, which is women's issues. So that's sort of my thing. That's the smartest thing I've ever heard. I really like that.

Wow. That's a great way to deal with it. Is the little kid real? You met a very financially smart little child. Met him at a brunch. Does he own the restaurant? This kid sounds awesome. Yeah, this kid was really awesome.

This was the mom's idea, but yeah. But let's give the kid credit. Yeah, this kid was really awesome. This was the mom's idea, but yeah. But let's give the kid credit. Yeah, for sure, because the mom sounds crazy. The woman. Good point. And that's the Week in News. Ding! When we come back, a segment we call Play by Play.

Nice. Jessie, I need the bell again. Okay. Play By Play when we come back. And we're back! Now, for a segment we're calling Play By Play. Now, that's a sports term, which I believe is about badminton. And when they hit the shuttlecock, that's one part of the play.

And then it goes across the net, and there's more play, and you break it down. Yeah. That's right. Yeah, that's right. Checked out. It's just a badminton term, by play that's why it's so popular we all use it in this segment we're gonna watch

some news and as it goes we're gonna break it down as best we can we're gonna yell pause if you guys want us to stop you can yell pause and we're just gonna walk through it alright and maybe it's something interesting maybe it's not that's what makes this the first show let's roll the clip is there anyone in the white house who can say to you mr president please don't tweet that who you would

listen to okay stop i just don't want us to move on before we recognize that we live in a world where tucker carlson who's a villain in every other story is the hero of this story who has to ask the president if he lets anybody look at his tweets before he tweets them. While we're stopped. Is this going to be one of those, is it Chrysler commercials where a hidden door opens up

and another car comes out? There's so many cars. What's going on there? So here's the thing. We're falling right into Trump's hands because no matter what we talk about, we're just going to think Trump's good for cars. That's the whole point. Should we keep moving? Yeah, keep moving.

I think that maybe I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Twitter because I get such a fake press, such a dishonest press. I mean, if you look at, and I'm not including Fox because I think Fox has been fair to me. Stop. Fox employee. That's not including Fox because I think Fox has been fair to me stop Fox employees very different arm I just didn't want to have that reflect on me you can go right if you look at CNN and if you look at these other networks NBC I made a fortune for NBC with the Apprentice I had a nap not the point well he lost the train there for a little bit. He definitely loses.

The question was, does anyone look at your tweets and he's like, oh, the NBC's fucking me. Exactly. I feel like this is his version of Rick Roll. Oh, he just... Yes, he just goes right into it. No matter what. And someone at some point is like,

oh, you fucking did it, man. But I feel like we've watched politicians do that like effortlessly in the last few decades and now it's like watching someone go they said if you want to not answer the question answer a different question so i'm gonna just answer a different and you're like oh my god you suck at this you're doing it anyway you get points for that he's not good at this but he does it anyway does. A show where they were doing horribly, and I had one of the most successful reality shows of all time. I made, and I was on for 14 seasons.

And you see what happened when I'm not on. You saw what happened to the show. It was a disaster. Stop. He's still the executive producer of that show. He's not on top of everything else, and obviously we have Bigger Fish or Fry. He's a very, very bad executive producer of The Apprentice.

His one job is to say nice things about it at this point. But I think it's what he does on purpose. I think that what he does is he's like, look, I'm going to get the people who love me are going to watch The Apprentice. That's fine. The people who don't, if I say how bad it is, they're going to watch it too. I think it's all part of the thing. You think he's just trying to drum up ratings?

No, I think in his mind it's just like me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Exactly. He's the executive producer of our country right now. And when the healthcare thing didn't go through, he said the real losers here are the Democrats. It's like, first of all, it's you. You're literally lost. Second of all, it's the American people.

And you're supposed to at least pretend you care about them getting healthcare or not. And instead you say, it's those fucking Democrats like no you're supposed to pretend that you wanted this bill because you thought it was good for the American people and he can't even fake it he's like I lost but I didn't really lose they lost

and also the way that like Obama knocked on every congressman senator's door on both sides of the aisle like hey man cool office what did you do here like Trump never like do you think door on both sides of the aisle. It's like, hey man, cool office. What'd you do here? Like, Trump never... Do you think he walked up to a single Democrat and was like, hey,

sup? Healthcare. Well, tell me about the bill. Do you know anything about the bill? See these cars? It goes down like power windows. I was on The Apprentice for 13 years is your refrigerator

running out I also just want to pause and just he says that NBC should treat him well about Apprentice ratings from 14 years ago like Lester Holt

is being mean and then he gets a call from upstairs like did you not know that he was on The Apprentice he's one of our guys what are you doing what are you doing Lester

no infighting no infighting should we keep moving it was very good to nbc and i they are despicable they're despicable in their coverage cbs abc you take a look at what's going on i call it the fake press the fake media uh it is a disgrace what's happening so but then they say to you but you're i fake. I mean, as you know, the response looks like you had this big speech. Pause for a second.

First of all, the question was, what about your tweets? Also, Tucker Carlson chickened out of saying, but you're fake. He wanted to say, but you're fake. You're the fake one. You've been fake this whole time. But Tucker couldn't do it.

Tucker, now the chops. ...concession on Tuesday. You had great press all week, bipartisan. And then you let off this tweet and immediately people say. No, it wasn't that tweet. Stop. Yes, it was the tweet. It absolutely was the tweet.

The tweet is why he was in this mess. He tweeted that Barack Obama wiretapped his phones. That was why he got bad press. But he meant it in quotes, which he couldn't have just tweeted. Which also wasn't true. It also wasn't true. He but he meant it in quotes which he couldn't have just tweeted which also wasn't true he didn't put it in quotes he also didn't use the quote nothing he said is true

you could have put the quotes around it but it's not like you said it out loud and forgot to do this but also sometimes he uses quotes for words he wants to emphasize he doesn't know what the quotes are for anyway he spelled tap T-A-P-P. He doesn't know. The real losers are the Democrats.

Not America. What? What are you doing? He's the worst. You guys are kind of making it sound like Trump's a liar. But also, did you see the thing that the Trump campaign sent out that said, we're taking a survey, and do you stand behind Donald Trump?

Yes. Or do you believe Democrats and fake news? Those are your two choices. Those are your two choices. I don't know. I have to commit to the fake news if I commit to Democrats? That feels sneaky. Play.

They had other things. Excuse me. I had a very successful night. Joint session. It was very successful. I got reviews even from people that I would never think I was going to get. Pause. True. Van Jones. True. Fuck that guy. No. Love him, but I kind of hated him that night. I was like, what?

Donald Trump became president that night. Yes, that is so hyperbolic. That doesn't mean anything. He was president the whole time. We're moving on. And then all of a sudden they came up with a new dialogue in order to kill that. So that speech was hot for about two or three hours after the speech was made. Stop.

I'm sorry, this isn't really policy related, but have you noticed that both of them tuck their faces into their shirts? Literally, just like, I'm going to put that down there. Just what you'll see on Tucker Carlson. Conspiracy theory. All right, sorry, go ahead. That was so mean.

Other things having to do with other people that they shouldn't have been able to do and they shouldn't have done, but they did it. And you know exactly what I'm talking about. Stop. No, we don't. Nothing he said in the last 15 seconds

makes any sense whatsoever. Lost the thread, President Trump. You know they did it and they did that thing you know they did. That's what he said. Not honest. Much of the news. He's they did it and they did that thing you know they did. That's what he said. Not honest. Much of the news. And when I have

close to 100 million people watching me on Twitter including Facebook, including all of the Instagram. Pause. It's look, least of our problems but that's a lot of double counting. Like those are not all unique users. And he said on Twitter

including Facebook. He just thinks it's all the other Instagrams. And he said on Twitter, including Facebook. He just thinks it's on all the other Instagrams. And all the other Instagrams. And all the FaceTimes. These are his night-night words. When he tells his son-in-law, like, tell me the good night-night words. And he's like, 100 million people listen to it. We listen to lots of things.

But we have, I guess, pretty close to 100 million people. I have my own form of media. So, you know, if I tweet two or three or four or five times a day, and if most of them are good, and I really want them all to be good, but if I make the mistake... Stop. This sounds like me at the end of the day in my mirror. You know, if you tweeted three times today, two out of three ain't bad like he's

president united states and his standard r is like i hope that most of my tweets today were good yo i got mad retweets today has anyone ever noticed if you check the time stamps of when he does that thing where he annoyingly doesn't know how to stack tweets because his understanding just learned to thread the tweets oh he, he did? The raptor's testing the fences now. Yes. He's learned to thread the tweets. But have you, have you noticed, if you go back and look

when he would do like the three-parters and you had to like click them independently to see where, when he uses like an ellipsis that's 15 dots, which is you don't get to pick the dots. He would, it was,

there were eight minutes between each tweet and it was like, did you go to the bathroom? You were mid-sentence and then went, huh? And then did something else. And then finished your sentence. That's insane.

A lot of them, though, also, they'd inadvertently be very negative about him. They'd be like, I'm a huge douchebag. Next tweet is what I say about Democrats. It's like if you know this many people are listening and you care, you wouldn't send out half of an unformed thought, which you know could get picked up and taken out of context.

He just doesn't fucking care. And it's just another pause to remember this is a crazy nightmare we're living in. Donald Trump is president. Fuck. Let's keep going. I don't think he's going to prove to be a mistake at all. Do you think it's okay to make...

I'm against the counter-argument. Even from people who support you, who say, look, I support Donald Trump, I believe what he believes, and I want him to succeed badly, but if the president says... That was... He was required to say those things.

He had to work it into, at some point, into the interview. Rupert Murdoch was standing behind him with kind of one of those electric rods. What's that metal thing? Fierce look. What's that metal thing? It's like an engine behind Tucker. He values his own currency.

Let's see whether or not I proved it. You looked at some proof. I mean, let's see whether or not I prove it. I just don't choose to do it right now. He didn't prove it. Nunes, what you doing? What you doing Wednesday? Right. This is all led to making poor, sad Devin Nunes peer pressure victim

vaguely a member of Congress driving on up to the White House and saying, I think that there's I think President Trump is okay. I think he may be some truth to what he was saying. I choose to do it before the committee and maybe I'll do it before the committee. Maybe I'll do it before I see the result

of the committee, but I think we have before the committee. Maybe I'll do it before I see the result of the committee but I think we have some very good stuff and we're in the process. Sorry. The fuck? He lost the thread. He has no idea what he's talking about.

We don't know what the committee is. We don't know what he's talking about. He's never brought up we didn't cut out the part where they were talking about a committee.

Nope. There's just me. He's a terrible gaslighter and I say this as somebody who honestly had a boyfriend who gambled away all my money and told me that he was buying an engagement ring.

Wait, you dated Dan too? He is like awful because at least with gaslighting you don't know it's happening. Like you see everything everything that this guy is doing so it's true it's it's um it's it's uh it's

gas lighting uh for the most the most misleadable gas lighting for the people who go on basically are like on qbc and they're like real diamonds real diamonds for 1099 i actually think it's hybrid lighting so I think that's a Prius.

So it's technically not gas. Good joke, good joke. Let's play the clip. Of putting it together, and I think it's going to be very demonstrative. But just on Twitter, if I don't do that, I won't get my word out. Because when I say things, the press doesn't cover it accurately They're on TV right now much of the press some of the press by the way Some of the finest people I know reporters reporters are wonderful

I'm talking about the fake media the fake news and there's a lot of fake news so Like Breitbart like Bannon like what are you talking about? I don't like no not reporters. I love reporters It's reporters who say what I don't like. Right. That's all that is. I just also, the question was, would you please let somebody at least read the tweets before you tweet them? And this is where we ended up. This is all an answer to that one question.

Have you discovered the drafts folder? His drafts folder. Where you can save it, think about it later, and then tweet. His drafts folder is awful. It's empty going to if they're not going to do me the honor and the public the honor of spreading my word accurately as it was meant and you know exactly what i'm talking about because there's been nobody in history that got more dishonest media than i've got you look at some of the stories in the new york times you look at some of the stories in the washington Times. You look at some of the stories in the

Washington Post. Take a look at what's going on with CBN. The way he talks about the New York Times is seriously like he's such a jilted lover. He called them today to tell them that the health care bill was dead. That was his call. He called the New York Times. He calls the Post and he calls the New York Times. He talks to

Maggie Haberman and Glenn Thrush, they're besties. Every time the New York Times writes a story that's about whaterman and like Glenn Thrush, like they're besties. Every story, every time the New York Times writes a story that's about like what's happening behind the scenes, they're the fucking best stories. It's like, Donald Trump was wearing a bathrobe and here's exactly what he said, because he told us. And they're like, I wasn't wearing a bathrobe. It was actually technically a kimono.

How dare you? Failing New York Times. I knew where the light switch was. I just didn't know. It's like, the New York Times I knew where the light switch was I just didn't know it's like if the New York Times doesn't want to date me and wants to see other people I'm like so done with them

it's an NBC in particular and ABC back on topic take a look at CNN it's a complete hit job no matter what you do no matter how good no matter how great it is

they don't report it in a positive fashion stop that's fair because i don't remember ever hearing about anything great trump did so maybe he has a point or oh shit is it because he hasn't done anything right oh that's my bad sorry mediator sure it does sure by the way just pause tucker is still just trying to get trump to say, I'll let somebody look at the tweets first. That's all sad Fox News Tucker Carlson wants. Just say, hey, I'll let one of the, you know, I'll let Sean Spicer just peruse the tweet before I hit send. And Trump's like, no, no, no.

The Apprentice was a huge hit. Fuck you. I'm thinking, I'll say, what do you think about this? A lot of times my staff comes to me and they say, could you do a tweet or this or that? Okay, stop. That's a lie. No one has ever asked him to tweet anything. Could you do a tweet? That's like, hey, girl, you want to do sex to each other?

Go do a tweet, Trumpy. Also, you know they're like scared to death outside the room. Like, you go in. You go in. You go in. I need to see the president. I need to ask him if he'll do a tweet. Can I see five minutes for a tweet?

They all hate him. All of the people at the White House don't like Donald Trump. They think he's a ridiculous and terrible person. And that's play by play. We now move on to a segment called Who Sucks the Most? This week it will be Devin Nunes versus Paul Ryan. Oh, top. Deathmatch.

Devin Nunes said he had evidence that proved that Trump was vindicated on the wiretap. He is supposed to be doing oversight of Donald Trump. Instead, he drove to the White House, told Donald Trump, called a press conference, didn't tell the committee, and then had to apologize three days later

because he's not that bright. On the other side, we have Paul Ryan, who this week said that he's been dreaming of cutting Medicaid since back in the day when he used to drink at Kegger's. Which is the, we all know that guy from college.

And he's the worst. Here's the thing, though. Wasn't he 27 in that story? He was. Why you go into a kegger at 27 unless you're trying to fuck underage girls or something, allegedly. That's like 27 keggers?

Maybe he's just trying to stay in touch with his youth and not feel as though his 20s are slipping through his fingers that he wants to spend his 20s because they're never going to come around again. 27?

That's old. I feel like I feel like you're I feel like we can not comment. I would never drink out of a keg at 27. Who was worse?

Well, I don't know. Jesus, it's like you're asking about who's worse? Melanoma or gunshot wound i mean like at least with melanoma i feel like you could if you get it early enough and cut it out you can survive it you have a little scar a gunshot wound this guy he's like you you could die like he's gonna kill us all so i'm gonna say he's worse. Ryan's worse?

Yeah. Just for people at home. Melanoma was Nuna's. We're keeping it loose. It's Friday. Katie? Oh, man. I feel like Nuna's doesn't know any better.

So you think Nuna's is just a useful idiot? No, I think he's just an idiot. I don't think he's useful. Useless idiot. Generous. So Ryan's worse? I just a useful idiot? No, I think he's just an idiot. I don't think he's useful. Useful is generous. So Ryan's worse? I just think Ryan, yeah. You want me to give a quick answer? Yes, Ryan's worse.

John? Easily Paul Ryan. You're all wrong. Nunes' work, undermining the separation of powers. If we don't have somebody in place who can stop Donald Trump, we're lost. Oh yeah, I guess so. We're lost. Vote.

Nunes or Ryan? Nunes? They're like who he's just more a bunch of fucking sheep out there moving on to a segment we call something awesome so we were all quite sad

when Donald Trump became president. But then there was an... Now, we just have to do something nice. Because it's been very rough, and it's a lot of ranting. So we're just going to lighten it up. We were all quite sad when Donald Trump became president. Now that I found out he's a liar, yeah. I guess I'm pretty sad about that.

And so there was this question. So what are we going to do in response to Donald Trump? Where all these new groups popped up, all these new organizations like Indivisible. And this week MoveOn members made 40,000 calls, actually 40,000 calls just today. 100,000 people

went to town halls and constituent town halls because their members didn't show up across the country and it made a difference Representative Walter Jones? Jones? It was Jones. The word you're looking It was Jones. The word you're looking for is Jones.

He is a Republican who voted no and was going to vote no. He received four calls in favor of the bill on Wednesday and 800 calls against. And so the point is, we're making a difference, guys. We're stopping this guy. And that's something awesome that's all there is to it um we're going to use the rant wheel to close out the show but before

we do jesse waters of fox news um or maybe a high school newspaper interviewed donald trump and asked several hard-hitting questions and uh we just want to show you them president trump welcome back to waters world how does it feel now the last time i spoke to you i presented a signed photograph of myself at Trump Tower. Have you hung it on your wall yet? Oh, absolutely. We saw some of your returns. These people over at NBC News doing everything they can to take you down.

I thought you leaked those returns yourself. It made you look good. The anti-Trump resistance, it's out there in the streets. Some of it's in the federal government. How much do you think is that genuine anger? And how much do you think that someone like President Obama pulling the strings from behind the scenes? The media, pretty vicious, not just to you but to your family. How do you process that? Let's do a Waters World quiz. Don't be nervous. I think you'll do just fine. Chuck Schumer, the president

of CNN, and Alec Baldwin. If you had to fire one person right now, who would you fire? What is going to be done first? Building the wall or defeating ISIS? Pause. Are you fucking kidding me? This isn't even play by play. I didn't even know if it would stop. Are you fucking kidding me?

All right, let's keep going. John, I think he's trying to... Last one, Jesse Waters. Tremendous future. Your agent should be very happy, and I enjoy your show. And honestly, you've been so nice to me that this is why I turn out

the biggest shows on television, and here I am. It's Waters' world. And that's Jesse Waters interviewing the president, and even Donald Trump's face says this fucking douchebag. And now for a segment we call the rant wheel.

They don't seem excited. So here's how this works. The wheel spins, it stops on something, and then we're going to rant about it. I really want it to land on missing research simits. about it. I really wanted to land on missing research simmons. It has landed on cable news. Is this a group

rant? We can do it together. How does this work? So cable news fucking sucks. It's a wasteland. And so here's the thing. There's 24 hours of cable news and they never tell you anything. I was thinking the's the thing. There's 24 hours of cable news, and they never tell you anything. I was thinking the exact same thing. Today, I was watching cable news,

because I'm like, oh shit, I have to talk about politics today in public. Did you learn anything? Well, here's the thing. No. I'm like, I gotta talk about this healthcare bill, so if I'm gonna say it's bad, why is it bad?

Not once did anyone in any of the coverage mention what it was about. I often feel and I've said this before that cable news is world class reporters interviewing morons. What did we think was going to happen? I mean I blame cable news for the state we're in right now. I think when you have breaking news

all goddamn day long it means nothing. It means nothing to anybody and when real breaking news happens i don't what are they gonna do are they just gonna like set the stage on fire and just start running around and go no for real who's gonna rip his shirt open and say this is real this is important it's finally happening it's my time to shine. It is. They cried wolf so much about what is real. And so now everything is just hyperbole.

And they do have to interview morons because they've run out of intelligent people to bring on. I mean, Jesse Waters is very intelligent. You'll be able to catch Love It on MSNBC Monday. No, no. And CNN Sunday. Literally going on CNN Sunday.

I'm doing a tour. Hurry up and spin the wheel. Cable news again. This bitch right here. It's on Ivanka. People listening to the podcast. It's on Ivanka. Here's the thing. You do not get to call yourself

an advocate for women and then go to fucking Aspen the week they're trying to pass a healthcare bill that says mammograms are optional and penis pills are permanent I think we should spin it before this gets really bad

she's very pretty I will add that cable news again oh okay I don't know this story this is a Boston thing so this is about the

this says RIP coffee culotta which has been discontinued by Dunkin Donuts Dunkin Donuts what yes

I thought you would know this what like effective immediately immediately there's no more coffee culottas

you can't get them you can't have that delicious sugar from the coffee culotta I will go on record as saying that there's no more coffee culottes you can't have that delicious sugar from the coffee culotta I will go on record as saying that there's nothing

more delicious than the first actually nope sorry the second sip of a coffee culotta does it go downhill from there

sure but the second sip once you got that weird like filmy part out the second sip is like

this is why I'm alive blow right past that cold headache yeah finish the rest done forever i think there's no more coffee colada because it'd be a run on them i think they'd overwhelm the dunkin donuts people it's a travesty wait why made a huge error they said why i don't know you trumped it this is good does anyone have the trump did it trump discontinue them now i'm on that guy. Let's spin it one more time. What is this app that you have that spins a wheel? Oh, there you go. There you go.

There you go. There you go. I listened to every fucking episode of Missing Richard Simmons, and you know where he was? He was at home. And he was he was at home and he was fine the opening of the episode is I love Richard Simmons and he won't return my calls and I think it's because he's in real trouble but actually turns out the host is a fucking lunatic Richard Simmons just doesn't want to talk to anybody he's at home he's watching. He's calling Savannah Guthrie on the Today Show.

His manager sees him. His brother sees him. His maid sees him. He's just like, dude, I don't want to know you. And that guy's like, I'm really great. This should be a podcast.

This should lead the charts for a month to the point where love it or leave it can barely get over the top. Now we know the source of the rant. Right here, guys. The first, and by the way, the first episode he's like, Richard Simmons has gone missing and I think it's because his

maid is a witch. Episode 8, the end of the podcast, he's like, hey guys, turns out she's a nice lady. And Richard Simmons is fine. But I learned a lot about me. Oh, did you? You stalker weirdo. I'd love that you made to episode eight on this thing.

I genuinely thought something was wrong with Richard Simmons. And that this podcast was going to reveal it for you. I thought by the end of the podcast, I had a theory. Not news. Not cable news. I actually had a theory that Richard Simmons had gained a lot of weight and was desperately trying to lose it before he saw himself in public again. And like I had a whole little theory

and I thought that was going to be the reveal. And that's why the apple is in front of his face in the picture because the apple is just like his nemesis, right? Like it's knowledge, but also makes you fat because like fruit is sugary and it's not paleo.

Wow, you went deep on that. But it turns out Richard Simmons is fine. That podcast is a lie. Download, love it or leave it. I agree with you that that podcast is bad and exploitative if that's how you say that word. Yes, it is. But it did set me up for my new

hit podcast, Missing Guy Named Tim from the bar that I met two weeks ago that said he really wanted to talk and then just never returned my calls. I think he's definitely dead. Because otherwise, there's no other reason. From the people who brought you cereal. Finding Katie a boyfriend.

He's like J.D. Salinger, just hanging out at home. And that's the rant wheel. Guys. Guys. I want to thank you all for coming to the very first episode of Love It or Leave It. I think we learned a lot about what works and a lot about what doesn't work.

I want to do a preview of next week on Love It or Leave It. We'll discuss Trump's tweets insulting homeless veterans with Oprah. That sounds like a pretty cool show. Wait, Oprah is coming on your podcast? Yep. Yes. You guys got pwned. Oprah will be here at the improv

in the improv lab next week Oprah and Gloria Borger Oprah Gloria Borger maybe the Pope stops by we'll see what happens

damn I love this is a good Pope I mean on the scale of Popes he's not the young Pope he's not the young Pope he was so young

I didn't make it to the end of that made the end of Richard Simmons I didn't make it to the end of that. Made the end of the Richard Simmons bullshit. Didn't make it to the end of the young fucking Pope. Same exact turnout. And that's Love It or Leave It. Thank you, guys. Thank you to my guests,

Michaela Watkins, Katie Nolan, Jon Favreau. Thank you to the band, Sure Sure, for this theme song. Yeah, Sure Sure. Thank you to the band Sure Sure for this theme song. Thank you to the person saying she does not

want to be mentioned by name. Give it up for Tanya. Give it up for Lee Eisenberg who helped put this all together. And that's it. Oh yeah, Jesse McClain back in the booth on the graphics. And the dings. I don't know how much of this in the booth on the graphics. And the dings. I don't know how much of this we're going to leave in.

All of it. All of it, we're leaving it in. Alright, thank you guys. Play us out at ProFlowers.