Lovett or Leave It - Un-Meet Virginia

Episode Date: February 9, 2019

Trump's State of the Union never happened. Fox News is screaming about socialism. And Senator Kirsten Gillibrand joins Jon on stage at the Anthem in Washington, DC to discuss her 2020 campaign, health care, and the ugly scandals unfolding in Virginia. She also becomes the first presidential candidate to face the "Queen for a Day" gauntlet on Lovett or Leave It. Alex Wagner, Alyssa Mastromonaco, and Akilah Hughes are here to help break down the week's news and rant about Marie Kondo and The Bachelor. This week was a mess. votesaveamerica.com/unify

Good evening, Washington, D.C. Where are my furloughed workers at? Where are the essential ones? All right, calm down, you snot-nosed brats. Where are the non-essential people? I get it. It is great to be back in Washington, D.C., mostly because it reminds me that I am glad

that I lived here when Barack Obama was president. I got caught behind Pence's motorcade. Knew it was him because of the handmaids. That's so stupid. It is weird that Commander Waterford was the designated survivor. Not as bad as Rick Perry. We have a great show for you tonight. We have a fantastic panel.

We're also going to have a special guest. Senator Kirsten Gillibrand is here tonight. But we are here in the moments after Donald Trump delivered his third best state of the union. Well, the first one was a joint address to Congress. Shut up. Shut up. This show will be released on Saturday. Based on what we saw,

no one will give a shit about it. By the time we get to Saturday, it's only been 24 hours, and I already forgot that Trump talked about the Black Panthers. He actually didn't, but you weren't sure because you for a second thought you forgot or that you zoned out for a second until Senator Gillibrand sighed and then you were back in it. Trump's State of the Union to me, it feels less

important than a traditional you know an actual president's State of the Union and it's true it does feel like it matters less and I think it feels like it matters less because it matters less and the reason it matters less is because he does less of the job and his words carry less meaning there was that story that revealed that a whole swaths of his schedule are now taken up by executive time which means watching cable news and words carry less meaning, there was that story that revealed that a whole swaths of his schedule are now taken up by executive time, which means watching cable news and eating quarter pounders. And it's like, I could do that job. You know, there's always this difference between what a

president says and what a president does. There's always a space between their promises and what they actually achieve and the language that's just true enough not to be a lie. But there's never been, not in our lifetimes, a president who means less of what he says, is less willing to tell the truth, who lies about so much so often. And what's interesting is to see that there is still a price for that. And the price is it doesn't fucking matter what he says in the State of the Union. It just doesn't matter. It has no connection to how he governs. You know, State of the Unions are supposed to sit between what comes before and what comes after.

It's supposed to be something that organizes the government's thinking, that lets us know through the president's words what the president plans to guide his administration to do over the next year. Does anyone believe that that's what we saw? So that's a no. Look, the thing about the people in the box illustrating the points, it's a silly thing. I believe in education.

There's a child up there who's very stupid. We have to fix it. But this year was also especially stark first of all he does his usual thing of using a terrible tragedy that affected a family to malign an entire class of people but he also had World War two veterans up there and he had Buzz Aldrin up there and it's a little bit like look up there there's the America we remember, huh?

The good one? The one that was against the Nazis? That's the proud America up there. Not like what's down here with me and this. And a bunch of people shouting USA at the worst person in the country. and a bunch of people shouting USA at the worst person in the country. I will also say that Buzz Aldrin almost punched me in the face once. That's real.

President Obama, the good president, he was going to deliver a speech about the space program at NASA, and I worked on the speech, so I was on the trip, and I find myself in a van with Buzz Aldrin, I should say that even though Buzz Aldrin I do believe almost punched me in the face he is not the villain in this story so we're in this van and it's actually you know there's some contradictions here there's some competing versions of events but basically what happened so I'm in this van and it's uh me and Arun Chaudhry, who did a lot of the great videos that Obama produced when he was president, and Bill Burton, who is a great communications person who now works for Howard Schultz.

So we all, yeah, I mean, it's obvious how we feel about that. We don't need to dwell on it. And I'm so excited because it's Buzz Aldrin. I mean, the man has walked on the surface of the fucking moon. And that's still something only Americans have done. You know, we can say that for at least another six or eight months. China puts a flag on our fucking moon, I'm gonna lose it. I'm not joking around. I know I shouldn't mean it.

I know it's just a symbol. But if they put a flag on our fucking moon, I'm gonna to lose it. It's our moon. We were there first. Our moon. Our moon. So I was so excited to meet Buzz Aldrin. I'm in the van. I'm sitting in the row. I turn around. I try to make conversation. It doesn't go very well. And I realize in hindsight, you know, the guy's like a daring, gruff pilot. That's not my speed. I don't, I can't relate to somebody like, I can try. What are we going to talk about? Anyway, I will say at some point in the conversation, Buzz Aldrin pointed out that

he shared a publicist with Barbara Streisand. Now, this is where the story, there's competing versions about what happened next. All I will say is someone in the van said, that makes sense, you have so much in common. In many ways, you're like the Barbra Streisand of space. And when I say that Buzz Aldrin turned a shade of red, and his eyes went so white and so wide, you know the television now that they have HDR? It's so that you can see more kinds of colors.

You can only see the color that Buzz Aldrin turned if you have a properly set up HDR television with the latest HDMI cables. You need that proper 2.2 handshake. That's for no one. Now, I, of course, immediately, in a way that's too uncomfortable to describe, apologized, said it was a joke, and a silence settled over the van like a fart. And we, in that van, sat in total silence for the remainder of the ride to Cape Canaveral. I was in a van with a man who walked on the moon, and I ruined the ride to Cape fucking Canaveral. The point is, State of the Union. State of the Union. Anyway, it was terrible.

It will mean nothing, and that's the price he pays for being a liar. Also, I don't know if it's the LSD talking, but the only part of the speech I liked is when Nancy Pelosi unhinged her jaw and ate Mike Pence. What are you applauding? Also, let's just look at this shit. There is going to be peace and legislation. There cannot be war and investigation.

It just doesn't work that way. We got beat by the stupidest fucking assholes. That is some Marky Mark and John C. Reilly in the fucking denouement of boogie nights, snorting coke, and trying to record an album.

That is the dumbest fucking shit I have ever heard. If it wasn't so stupid, it would be terrifying. If it wasn't so stupid, you'd hear the words, which are, I'm gonna start a war if you people don't stop investigating me. What kind of godforsaken rhyme is that? I was a presidential speechwriter.

It's not actually easy. It was a really hard job to get. It's a really stressful, hard job to do. You work on it really hard. Try to make it lyrical, but not too lyrical. You want to sound majestic, but you still want to sound like a human being. Memorable phrases, but nothing too cute. You want sound bites, but nothing sounds too political. You read old speeches.

You think about what Ted Sorensen would say. You search through the old states of the union. You think about lines. These fucking assholes show up. All right, obviously the person writing these speeches is C plus Santa Monica fascist Stephen Miller, but... This speech writing was so bad, it's like, let's put the racism aside for a moment. That's how bad the writing is.

Do you know how bad your racist writing has to be for the racism to be the second thing you notice? You can either have war and investigations, or you can have peace and legislation. What kind of godforsaken choice is that? Unbelievable. Whatever. It's the only thing we'll remember and we'll forget in a week. All right. Enough.

Enough about this speech. There's a lot more news to get to. I want to bring out our fantastic panel. She is a writer, comedian, YouTuber, and you can pre-order her book, obviously, now. Please welcome back friend of the pod, Akilah Hughes. How you doing, Akilah? So good.

Hi, everybody. Next up, she's the co-host of Showtime's The Circus, contributing editor at The Atlantic, and author of Future Face. Please welcome back Alex Wagner. Next up, she's the co-host of Showtime's The Circus, contributing editor at The Atlantic, and author of Future Face. Please welcome back Alex Wagner. How you doing, Alex? Oh, hello. Hi.

Is it starting now? It's nice to see you, John. Nice to see you. And she's the New York Times bestselling author of Who Thought This Was a Good Idea and a very special contributor, Crooked Media's Hysteria. Please welcome back Alyssa Mastromonaco. Oh, man. You have fans.

Hi, Alyssa. Hi, hey. All right. Let's get into it. What a week. As most of you know, right now things are not looking great for Virginia Democrats. We're recording this midweek. I don't know where we're going to be when this show comes out on Saturday.

Scandal is moving through the upper reaches of that government like the blackface plague. I don't know what this means, but it says here some Democrats have taken to marking their doors with lamb's blood. I don't know what that's gonna do. I don't even know what it means. I think it's something about helping the reporters pass over them. Ralph Northam is under pressure to resign after photos from his 1984 medical school yearbook surface showing people in blackface and KKK robes. Then, Lieutenant Governor Justin Fairfax,

who would succeed Northam, has now been accused of sexual assault by a college professor, accusing him of misconduct in 2004. And if the governor, the lieutenant governor, and the AG, after them, the fourth in line for the job is a Republican, Kirk Cox, who became the House Speaker after a close race ended with a name being drawn out of a fucking bowl. If Republicans take over the governor's mansion while controlling the legislature, the damage could be monumental, especially to healthcare, reproductive rights, and congressional redistricting.

Akilah, you're from Kentucky, which is the reason I'm asking you. Is everyone in Virginia government going to be brought down by a blackface scandal until we have to pick a new leadership with that song where they put people in masks to sing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going to be exactly like that show. I mean, listen, I am from the South, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's gonna be exactly like that show. I mean, listen, I am from the South, and we've been new about racism. It's never surprising when those terrible cub-calf kids got sort of like found out. My nephew is one of those kids. Yeah, the one black kid. I'm not proud. I had to cuss him out. And I'm like, in Kentucky, even the

black people are racist. The South is just that. I'm like, listen. There's going to be 15 more people who are like, we didn't know. We did an all-white remake of The Wiz, and we're all in black face. I'm waiting

for it. I'm ready. Fuck it. Alyssa. Yes. Am I being punished? This started in part because Ralph Northam was defending a bill meant to protect women's health and rights around third trimester abortions. His words were taken out of context, mischaracterized, referring to him as advocating for infanticide. A lot of this is what stirred up

the interest in searching through his records. What about that controversy so galvanized the right? Because it seems like it has set up, I mean, it even reached Trump's State of the Union. I mean, it's kind of like the red meat they were all hoping for, right? His explanation, while taken out of context, also wasn't, like, deft. Here we have this man who's trying to say, I mean, be clear, what they're talking about has been in effect since 1973, since Roe v. Wade. This is not some new democratic, like, let's abort babies in the third trimester. It's hot trash. But he does this, and then they all latch onto it, and they're like, he's trying to kill babies in the third trimester. The right so just gleefully

tries to paint women who support safe and legal abortion as the same women who are like, you know what, we're just going to go to brunch today and decide if we're going to abort babies for no good reason. Like they act as if it is this very casual decision that women are just walking around talking about. It is like 1% of all abortions that happen after the 24 week mark. And it is for non-viable fetuses or women. It's not something that's done like, oh, I'm not feeling like this was a good idea anymore. And so, you know, they've been looking for, the right has just been looking for something to really sink their teeth into. And so he got caught up in this and they're like, we're going to take him down. And then all of a sudden it ends up in Trump's State of the Union. And I tried to look back and Alex may or Akilah may know, I can't remember the last time abortion was mentioned in a State of the Union.

You know, I mean, I really think that this was like a moment where we went really backwards, you know. Especially by a president who once was pro-choice. Correct. Right. I mean, that is part of the irony of Trump. That is. You watch that clip and sure, you know, it wasn't a perfectly articulated sentiment, but at the same time, he was discussing something really hard and painful. And he's a doctor. I mean, the reason we're in the middle of the scandal is because his medical school yearbook was insane and racist, but he did go to medical school. He did go to medical school. And it was a, you know, it's this reminder too that in this abortion. Can I just interject though? Because I think, you know,

there is a long and very ugly racial history relating to experiments tried out, medical experiments tried out on black Americans. And one of the reasons why the Northam thing is the fact that it was in a medical school yearbook is so ghastly is because here is someone who's taking Hippocratic oath. Yes. And is in the middle of their medical school education dressed in blackface, whether Michael Jackson wore in the photo in the yearbook at the precise time that he is supposed to be sort of entering the sort of peak of his ethical education. And given the racist history that america has it makes it particularly painful in and around the sort of medical profession yeah i mean akilah so obviously i don't believe northam could have handled this more poorly

first admitting to it then denying to it then threatening to moonwalk during the and then also saying like well you know when i put the black face on you can't use too much shoe polish because that stuff is hard to get off and it's like wait a second dude how do you know that one conversation i've seen on uh this place called twitter is this conversation that basically says that the one thing that's not going on is an honest conversation about the fact that this kind of racism was prevalent. The reason they believed it was acceptable is because they lived in a racist culture,

in a racist school where it was totally acceptable. Do you believe that if he was more forthright, if he came out there and said, "'Look, I have learned a lot in my time in public life. "'I obviously regret taking this photo it is racist I was part of a racist institution I mean what is there any value to him saying something that is more truthful now whether or not it gets him out of this fucking morass I mean yeah the thing is like the the key word is now like I feel like you did a

great speech for him a week ago when all this stuff happened. I mean, we all just sat back and watched this guy. Like you said, he didn't know if it was him in the picture. He didn't know if he was in the hood or the blackface. Like, I'm like, damn, is racism that hard for white people? They're like, God, I was doing so much. I could have been anybody. Like, and also like, how racist is it that you think all black people look the same even when you're in black? Like, what are you doing right now? You know if that's you. You don't have to ask seven people, like, was it me?

There were other black-faced people who weren't in the photo. I don't know. I think that you're absolutely right. Like, he should have come out and said that. And even now, like, I don't think it would hurt the Democratic Party because I think, look, everybody's worried right now. Like, here's the brass tacks. Everybody's worried because it's like, all right,

all of these Democrats are going down. We're going to end up with this Republican guy that nobody wanted, a fishbowl didn't even really want. Like, someone probably licked that piece of paper. So it's like, he got chosen. Fine. I highly doubt that we're not going to find a blackface picture of him. I mean, like, come on. It's a Republican. He put it in his campaign.

He's running. He's he's stumping on blackface being a human right. And I just think if we could just have the honest conversation now instead of like an hour or like years from now. Like, let's just say it. Like, guess what? America is racist. It has been racist since its inception. Black people came here because it was racist. It wasn't like we came here because it was chill. Like, yeah, people did blackface. They made a lot of money off of it. Like every movie before 1950 was pretty much just that. So like we could all just say like, hey, it was chill.

And like, we're sorry because it's not chill anymore. That would really make up for all of it. Because black people aren't surprised. I want you to know, white people are like, a Democrat? In this economy? And I'm like, as a black person, I'm like, oh, you're surprised. That is, I mean, I feel like what you see happening in Virginia throws into sharp relief the choices that black voters in particular have to make.

Like, they knew, right? We've been knew. Northam. That's our, like, 2020 stance. We've been knew. Well, but also if you look at who Northam was before he was elected, right? He wrote into office saying he was going to be some kind of advocate for civil rights and a progressive sort of reformer, but his record is not that.

He was not someone that had a position on taking down Confederate statues until after Heather Heyer was killed in Charlottesville, and it became clear that there was a right side and a wrong side of history. And then there was a very astute political calculus about how to write into office by gaining minority votes in a particular moment, which is not to undermine, I think, the importance of embracing a more progressive stance when it comes to race,

but Northam is not some champion, right? And I think black people in Virginia particularly were probably like, okay, I mean, we'll vote for him. He doesn't, you know, he's not saying there are good people on both sides, like some people in office. Amen. Also though, like just to amend your point, that's how black people feel voting all the time. Like we don't vote in America like, yay, us. We're like, well, at least this guy's not lynching people. Like it's really like that. And I just want you to keep that energy

when you think about the situation. I do think though, like we are operating as citizens in a democracy where there are huge questions on the table and a raging debate about systemic and individual racism, right? And to have leaders of the sort of progressive side of the aisle who are so clearly morally compromised I think is really complicated in this particular moment when a lot is being asked in terms of ethical and more moral clarity and that's why I don't know if Northam can

actually stay in office and or should stay in office So let's talk about that for a second because it, so the photo breaks and there's an immediate call on him to resign from a lot of different quarters. And I think, you know, we could pretend otherwise, but I, it is hard to ignore that part of the rationalization was it's obviously important that he go. It's an important message to go. There's a substantive and genuinely good reason, obviously for him to leave office, but it would be wrong to pretend that it wasn't also on people's minds, that don't worry, there is a lieutenant governor who's a Democrat, there's an attorney general who's a Democrat, and then this story breaks about Justin Fairfax. What do you guys make, I mean, this letter, we're recording this on Wednesday, Vanessa Tyson, a professor, put out this incredibly wrenching, compelling,

detailed statement outlining when she came forward, who she told, why she came forward to allege sexual assault against Justin Fairfax, why she felt compelled to release this statement, in part because she actually didn't want to be part of this, but she felt that he had been making false statements about her, and also points out that she is a lifelong Democrat and actually doesn't want to say anything more than this. It's an incredibly compelling and difficult letter to read. What was your reaction to seeing that letter today? Well, I mean, it all smacks a lot of Dr. Blasey Ford. Yeah, same law firm. Same. I mean, same law firm, same situation, same earnestness, same like no one's seeking the spotlight. Like no woman was like, you know how I'm going to get famous? I'm going to accuse someone of assaulting me. Like it doesn't

work for anyone. Like where is Dr. Blasey? Like if you think about this woman, the example she looks to is Dr. Blasey Ford. What happened to her? She came forward against her will. She was basically outed. She did what she thought was her patriotic duty. She came forward against her will. She was basically outed. She did what she thought was her patriotic duty. She came forward before Kavanaugh was actually the pick. And then she sat in front of Congress and testified. And he is a Supreme Court justice, and she still has protection. She's still in hiding, right? So why would any woman think, you know what? This is a fucking great idea. And she did it, right? And she did it because she became consumed with the fact that this person was literally going to fail up. And so I think that we should start from a place of believing women.

up. And so I think that we should start from a place of believing women. Because there's nothing to be gained by coming forward with something so painful and sharing it with the world, which is what she's done. Can I just say one thing though? I mean, I talked to Deb Katz, Christine Blasey Ford's lawyer, right after Kavanaugh was confirmed. And I don't think they think of it as a lost. I don't think they think Christine Blasey Ford is just a kind of victim who lost in the whole Kavanaugh confirmation thing. I mean, I think they really think of that hearing and that confirmation process, a turning point in women having solidarity with other women in taking into consideration victims accounts in sort of the way we treat narratives around sexual predation and sexual abuse. And I'm not saying in terms of incentives.

I think more women, like this woman that's coming out against Fairfax, feel like, you know what? Like, Kavanaugh may be on the Supreme Court, but it matters. It does matter. But what she didn't think it would be easy. She didn't do this because she thought it would be easy or she knew that it would result in what she wanted it to result in, but she was brave. And so that's why I think that we start from a place of believing women. Something that you once said to me, John, which I think about all the time. And I don't even know

if you remember saying this to me, but we were having like sort of a frank discussion backstage about like, I don't remember what the scandal was at this point. There's always scandals, right? You said decency only matters if decency matters to you. And that's how the Republican Party sees it, where it's like, yeah, they flaunt their blackface, they flaunt their horrible things, they don't give a shit. But like Democrats care. And so it's going to be brought up all the time. And it's going like, we're going to be held accountable for our problems because we actually care to be better. And what I guess I'm struggling with in all of this right now, where it's like, you know, obviously there's nothing that you can say

about somebody who fucking sexually assaulted somebody. Okay, everybody's done blackface. That's what we learned today on Twitter. Like, every person who's ever been in office is in blackface at some point. And I think that that is not something that you can just walk away from. But it's also, like, listen, there's a whole generation of white people in this country who thought it was fine forever. And they're still alive and they're still in office and whatever. And so it's, like, I guess what is important to me is that we don't, like, I do worry that we're going to get stuck with this shitty, like, Republican guy who's like, yeah, no, I think blackface is great.

But, like, it doesn't matter to me. And so how do we rectify that as a party? Like, I don't even know. There's also the risk of, and Jamel Bowie is written really eloquently about this in the times of, of focusing too much on blackface because it's so literally racist. Right. But you know, we just had a president at the gate of the State of the Union that demonized refugees and had a specifically, if not explicitly, racial narrative, which is based in part in racism, and who then decried anti-Semitic, you know, celebrated World War II veterans and the triumph over anti-semitism but at the same time embraces a form of white nationalism which has as its foundation an embrace of anti-semitism right but we get to we start talking about blackface and who's going to stay in office

because of blackface which is a problem right it's not good that everybody in virginia apparently is in blackface but but it's not good there is guys and i hey the virginia people it's not fucking good it's not a it's not like where you want to be as a democrat or as a person in america but you know steve king is allowed to spout racist sentiment for 16 years before the republican party decides to do something about it and what blackface should lead to is a deeper conversation about, okay, what is racism and what is racist and who's embracing it. Right. The hardest blackface

to fight is the blackface in their hearts. That was poetry. That was poetry. When we come back, okay, stop. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back.

Now it's time for a game called OK Stop. We'll roll a clip and the panel can say okay, stop at any point to comment. The Green New Deal is a wildly popular new program that is being spearheaded by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Who refused to lend me that cape. It's coming back to Zara so you can order it soon. I looked it up. And over on Fox Business, Stuart Varney interviewed a fascist version of Bill Nye the Science Guy to talk all about it.

Let's roll the clip. There's ignorance, there's willful ignorance, and then there's willful and malicious ignorance. That is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. There's willful ignorance, and then there's willful and malicious ignorance. That is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. This is demagoguery. It's about time she be called out. Okay, stop. I like going on the AOC sucks channel to say,

it's about time somebody said that AOC sucks. Okay, stop. When did Orville Redenbacher get so angry? Girl, when they started making Skinny Pop. ...climate change, the environment, as a stalking horse for socialism. They can't take away all your money and accomplish this, but they will.

That's what this is about. What? These fucking people. I don't know. A stalking horse for and accomplish this. But they will. That's what this is about. What? These fucking people. I don't know. A stalking horse for socialism. I just... It is also worth pointing out that it's interesting, the tropes, right?

Like, Barack Obama was like a secret socialist with a grand plan, right? He was a secret Muslim socialist. That's canon. It's been a while. We can finally talk about it. I saw the birth certificate. Yeah, he's a secret American Muslim socialist. Oh, okay, okay. Just making sure we're on the same page.

No, that's why it was so sneaky. But like, Barack Obama's a secret Muslim socialist who's been plotting since the time he was at Occidental to take over America and institute socialism. I probably got it out from Occidental. He didn't really get the idea until Columbia, let's be honest. But the...

And really, probably not until Harvard Law School. That's where he really... That's where it all clicked. But with AOC, she's just dumb, right? Like, Barack Obama gets to have a secret master plan. That's why he's a socialist. But the only reason AOC is a socialist is because she's ignorant. This is again and again. Any thoughts?

Let's keep rolling it. And the Green New Deal is going to be part of many of the presidential campaign, presidential campaign, campaigns. Well, think about who we're talking about. This is the party not to change the subject that wants to tell us a 40th week abortion is not a fit in fantasize but rather just joy 40-week birth I mean not like yeah that baby not abortion but you don't even you

get them when it comes out yeah I'm like it's here they come out at 40 weeks yeah yeah you really can't pull the plug at that point. That baby's like, I'm in your house now. Yeah, I'm here. Also, like... Feed me. I'm just losing the thread with this bizarro Bill Nye, right? Like, he... Why do they care?

What does socialism have to do with abortion? Like, I don't really think that that's the same thing. It's like rage autopilot, where you just start, like, pre-associating. Yeah, like, everything's the same thing, where it's rage autopilot where you just start like pre-associating. Yeah, like everything is the same thing where it's like, I want people to have equal things and also these people

want to, like what are you talking about? It's like socialism, abortion, black people, all the things that pop. He's about to explode. Also, his friend is English and I'm wondering

why he's so invested. But continue. That's exactly. Don't you have Brexit to worry about? We should do a similar rant on Brexit. Yeah, why is he Brexit this interview?

All right. It's Brexit. A party that no longer believes in core American values. And it also shows us what's going on with immigration. Basically, what you have in common... Wait, time. Okay, okay, stop. I forgot the catchphrase.

I was like, wait, stop, okay? Okay, stop. As I said before, we went from socialism to abortion, and now we're on immigration. I just feel like this guy's losing his own thread. And I don't get invited on news shows, but this guy, because he has a bow tie, gets to be on there. I just think it's fucked up.

Also, it says that he's a professor emeritus. Yeah, what does that mean? I think it means that... You're not a professor anymore. Look, listen. You can call yourself a professor, but you gotta get the fuck out of here. We're sick of you.

We're sick of you. The Terps? What's that? Is that a... The Terps? What is that, a tortoise? It's a turtle. Terrapins.

Did anybody take a class with this guy? Applaud if you've taken a class with him. Are you lying? Applaud if you've taken a class with him and you're not lying. Liars. What does he teach? I heard five different kinds of things. He doesn't teach science business.

Let's keep rolling and I'm sorry I talked to you. ...Cortez, our Latin American values. Okay stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh that was subtle. AOC's bringing Latin American values. I just want to see like have either of them ever been even close to Latin America Do they know do they can they name one Latin American song? Like I just feel like if you're gonna say values be specific bro, like

Spell it out. It's assimilating them They are assimilating us and they want to bring the kind of socialism that destroyed Venezuela and frankly Mexico Okay, yeah, yeah, it's over. But, okay, just to be clear, Venezuela's problems are because of America. Okay. Just to be clear, I guess those are American values he's referring to,

but I'm asleep, whatever. They're coming over the border bringing opioids and Latin American values in their caravans. It's just like a super, what is the latest Taco Bell burrito? I don't know what it's called, but it's like he's wrapped up every fear-mongering dog whistle into one thing. They're bringing their Latin American values in the trucks from Mad Max, and they're coming across the border, and they are turning right.

They are bringing. They got. They're coming across the border and they are turning right. They are bringing. They got. They're coming over that border. They got socialist textbooks. Some of them are gay. They're gay ones. Socialist gay ones. They're bringing Medicare for all. They're all wearing

white capes. They look fabulous in a red lip and boobs. From Zara. It's a nightmare. Latin American Zara. A Spanish clothier. What's next? Clapbacks? Huge Twitter followings?

Also, just worth remembering that Fox Business is like their minor league ball. It's where they go when they're just not ready for the big time. That's where Lou Dobbs is currently ensconced. I think technically they up's where Lou Dobbs is currently ensconced. I think technically they upgraded Lou Dobbs to a single room at Fox News because his insurance covered it. Technically, being a host on Fox Business is covered by Medicare, which is, again, ironic, right, because they hate Medicare.

But then it's considered technically a long-term care facility. And that's okay. Stop. When we come back, I'll sit down with Senator Kirsten Gillibrand. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back. She's the junior senator from the great state of New York. She's a leader in the Senate on female equality and the Me Too movement. She's running for president of the United States.

Don't call her Kristen. Please welcome Senator Kirsten Gillibrand. Senator, how you doing? Great. Look at this D.C. crowd. This crowd loves you. Loves you. This is very amazing.

I love them too. It's a lot of love. So, Trump's State of the Union is over. It was a night where he truly spoke in sentences. At some point, I was struggling to pay pay attention and I did drift in and out, but I did look up and I saw that you issued a very layered and multi-tiered sigh. We do have a clip. So for the people listening, if they haven't seen it, I would say that there is a kind of eye movement.

I know, I got it. And then you shift in your seat, and then there's a sigh that follows. It's a fantastic, fantastic sigh. Very impressive. What was on your mind? I would have to say a bad word, but it was basically are you effing kidding me because that's all he just kept Bloviating on horrible things and saying divisive hateful things over and over and you just get so frustrated You can't compose yourself. I believe that it was at the moment where he said the economy

It's the hottest right now. People are talking about how hot it is. Whatever it was It was so offensive and I couldn't put my mind around it. So whenever I see Donald Trump in a forum like that, like, you know, we've sort of gotten a bit used to it, but it's still very sad, right? It's sad to see this person. It's depressing to see a person standing there, this person who doesn't belong, that's unfit, unqualified. You know, there's been a lot of talk about Russia's interference, about unfair coverage, about the role of misogyny and racism in galvanizing Trump's base, undermining Hillary Clinton.

You know, here we are two years later, this completely unfit person is standing there. Do you believe that those explanations for what happened in 2016 are enough to explain how we got here, or do you see other vulnerabilities in what made it possible for someone like Trump to be elevated to this job? No, there are deep vulnerabilities. After the election, it was obviously a crushing moment for many of us, and I really had to figure out why was my state so red on election day. So I made sure I spent a bunch of time in the places that were red, upstate New York, parts of Long Island, a lot of the Hudson Valley, and

listened to people. And the truth is a lot of people really did feel left behind. A lot of people throughout the state felt that no one was fighting for them and perhaps not fighting for them for a very long time. It's shocking to know that a good number of union members voted for Trump. Democrats are the party of workers and the lesson I took from this was we need to spend a lot more time listening, understand what's actually going on in all our communities and then fighting for everyone and one of the reasons why I'm running for president is because people need a voice. They need someone who will take on the corruption and the greed in Washington that dominates everyone and everything.

You need to be able to do what's right, especially when it's hard. You need to fight for other people's kids as if they were your own. And I think for too many people, they feel like that wasn't true anymore. So this is a question I like to ask people from New York. I actually asked this of AOC. One thing that always struck me about Donald Trump is he, like, I'm from Long Island.

It's what we get. Really? And to me, Trump actually reminds me a lot of, despite his sort of silver spoon upbringing, he sounds to me like a lot of the people that I knew from sort of working class Long Island, this kind of tone that understood how to relate to people. And I think one of the questions that's been asked is,

you know, there's been this silly kind of bifurcated debate, like, is it about white working class people or is it about racism? But do you think Democrats have learned any lessons about Donald Trump's appeal? Like, what do you think, what, I guess I'd say what changed for you in terms of how you approach campaigning based on the fact that someone like Donald Trump was able to get through and how, just how you talk to people? Okay. Well, you know, Donald Trump ran as the great disruptor. I mean, he's the one who promised he would blow up the system.

And he lied to the American people and said, I'm going to blow up the system, and I'm going to blow it up for you, and that the system's rigged, and it's rigged by the political and the financial elite, and I'm not only going to blow it up for you, and I'm going to fight for you, and then let's build a wall. Because he wanted to add his own racist dog whistle of a message to divide the country. He's continued to spew that hate over and over again,

continuing to divide the country. And this moment to spew that hate over and over again, continuing to divide the country. And this moment that we're in is so important because if we want to restore our democracy, if we actually want a direct democracy, if we want open government, if we want to actually have a voice in our own country, we're going to have to fight back as hard as we possibly can. Because he promised people he would change the system for them. He didn't mean it. He's not going to do it. He lied to everyone.

But if Democrats don't take the message that we need to change what's happening, the fact that legislation's written in the dead of night, the fact that you can't take on the opioid crisis because you won't take on the drug companies, the fact that you can't have health care as a right and not a privilege because you won't take on the insurance companies, the fact that you can't keep a community safe because you won't take on the NRA, all of that has to do with greed. All of it. So let's talk about some of that greed. There have been a certain over-caffeinated billionaire has recently taken...

You know, he called supporting Medicare, he called Medicare for All un-American. You campaigned on access to Medicare. You've signed on to Bernie's bill for a single-payer plan. One of the debates we've had recently is around what happens to private insurance. Should ending private insurance, as we know it, be a Democratic Party goal? And do you think it's an urgent goal? Oh, yeah. It is a goal and an urgent goal. But let me explain. I ran on Medicare for All in 2006 in my upstate New York two to one Republican district. And the reason I ran on that message was because I listened first. I traveled around the district, asked people what's on your mind, what's

your worry. Overwhelmingly they said I'm worried about access to health care. I'm worried about being dropped because of a pre-existing condition or too much deductible or co-payer or monthly premiums. And so I said well how would you feel if you could buy into Medicare at a price you could afford? Would that work for you? That it'd be open to you no matter what, Medicare for all. And they said, oh, I would love that. And we explained, well, clearly what will happen is you'll create competition in the system because the for-profit insurance companies, their obligation is to their shareholders, not to their patients. Their goal is actually to make money every quarter, pay their CEOs millions of dollars,

and they put a big, enormous fat in the system, enormous cost in the system, because their priority is their returns and their profits. You do not, they deny you an extra day in the hospital or a certain medicine because they will make more money if they do, not because it will make you healthier. So describing this to the district and the people who live there was something that they fully understood and said yeah we'd love more competition we'd love a

not-for-profit public option so that's what I ran on when Senator Sanders was working on his bill I asked if I could write the part about the transition because to me the quickest way you get to single-payer the quickest way you really get to Medicare for all is you create a buy-in. And so we wrote 4% of income for the first four years. Anyone can buy in. That is a price anyone can afford. And if you think, if you're just a middle class person who works hard, you think about your own budget, 4% of your income is less than you are paying today for whatever private insurance you have. And so what's going to happen is you're going to have enormous competition. And I don't think for-profit providers will be able to compete because

they have to have that layer of fat. They have to have that shareholder value. They have to have that quarterly profit. And so through competition, you will get to single payer and you will get to healthcare and all the money that you spend on it going directly to the providers. You don't need the middleman. So I don't think they're gonna compete. I don't think they survived this process because they are too concerned with their own profits. So one more question about this. You know on the one hand I think there's been this criticism of the left that there's a lot of Democrats out there that are trying to blur the difference

between access to Medicare and truly single-payer and at the same time I think that there's some concern on the part of people that are proposing more access and like public option type programs that some on the left aren't worrying enough about the transition period. And you've talked about this transition where there's an access period,

but a new CNN poll found that among people who support a national insurance program, they do not support completely replacing the private insurance system. Do you think that even in a system where there's a period of time where people can buy in, do you think that we're talking enough about the political ramifications, even if it's the right thing to do, the political ramifications of telling people that their private insurance may go away? I don't think you have to tell anybody

anything. I think if you just give them a choice of having a not-for-profit public option whose goal is to make sure you are healthy and have the medicine you need and the care that you need, instead of an insurance company that's goal is to make sure that their shareholders get a quarterly profit, it's not even going to be a close decision. People are going to choose to give the money directly to the doctors, to the hospitals, to the healthcare centers, not to the insurance companies. And the truth is you don't need a middle is, you don't need a middleman. You don't need a middleman if you believe that health care is a right and not a privilege,

which I think the majority of Americans, if not all Americans, believe. If you believe that health care should be a right and not a privilege, then you should make sure you have universal access that's affordable. The quickest way to do that is Medicare for All, having the not-for-profit public option. It gets you to single payer fastest. If there's a private sector market that's still working, God bless them. That's their issue.

Our issue is universal coverage that is quality and affordable care for everyone. I don't think there's going to be a role for insurers because if you want to go get plastic surgery, you can pay for that. Okay, that's good to know. That's the extra stuff that's there for you if you want to pay for it. But in terms of your health and well-being...

For me, I'm just going to get this just a little... Yeah, in terms of health and well-being, that should be covered in a Medicare for All structure. So your Medicare... So when I get this tightened up. You can pay for that yourself. Shame, I like Senator Gillibrand. So obviously, you know, the Democratic Party is facing this incredible turmoil out of Virginia. Not only the scandal around blackface,

around Governor Northam and the Attorney General. On Wednesday, a woman accused Virginia Lieutenant Governor Justin Fairfax of sexual assault, Professor Vanessa Tyson. She issued a statement. It's graphic and wrenching, describing the assault, the shame she felt, the fact that the MeToo movement spurred her

to reach out to the Washington Post in 2017. You know, you've taken strong stances on sexual harassment, sexual misconduct, sexual assault in the military, the Senate, the judiciary. You've done it even when it was Democrats. You spoke out against Senator Al Franken. Do you believe based on... And you faced blowback for that. Based on what you've learned so far,

do you believe that Justin Fairfax should resign? Well, let me say this first. I think what Dr. Tyson did in coming forward took enormous courage. And you could tell from her statement that it causes her grave, grave trauma to relive the worst moment of her life. worst moment of her life. The reason why we talk about believing survivors as something that's really important is because for her to come forward with this story of her life, not only does it have to be received by us, it has to be taken very seriously, and it has to be investigated. You have to take these allegations seriously so they can be investigated, and that's why we want to talk about

believing survivors because if you don't take that first steps to say okay let's investigate you're never going to investigate. The problem with sexual assault in this country is that institutions do not believe women. They will want to put it under the rug. They want to blame survivors. They want to retaliate against survivors whether you're talking about a college campus or you're talking about the U.S. military or you're talking about the NFL. There's so much institutional bias against a survivor

in favor of the powerful every single time. So I think there has to be a full investigation. I thought her story was deeply disturbing and credible. So there must be an investigation. Okay. But it sounds like you'd want to see where that investigation goes. So you did receive blowback for your decision to call on Al Franken to resign. How do you weigh calling for the resignation of Democrats knowing that, say, in the case of Virginia,

policies like access to health care, the protection of rights under Roe v. Wade, voting rights, all these things could be at stake. You know, with Senator Franken, there were eight allegations that were corroborated at the time, and the eighth one happened to be a congressional staffer. And as someone who has been at the forefront of these movements and issues for seven years, I decided I could no longer be silent on the issue. And as a mom with young boys and the conversations I was having at home with my 15-year-old Theo, where he's like, Mom, why are you being so mean to Al Franken? Well, my heart rate starts beating very loudly and very fast and said,

Listen, Theo, let's be clear. You can't grope a woman anywhere on her body without her consent, and you can't forcibly kiss a woman without her consent, and it's not okay for you, and it's not okay for Senator Franken. And so that had a lot of clarity for me at that moment. And it doesn't mean he wasn't entitled to whatever process he wanted. Those were his decisions. But the question you ask is a broader question, which is, when the consequences are about

somebody you love, when the consequences are about somebody who's good at their day job, when the consequences are about the party and your priorities and what's going to happen next, at the end of the day, the question you have to ask is, do you value women? Because you're saying all those things are more important than women and survivors, whether they're male or female. And I don't think that's OK. I don't think you can make these deals with the devil to say, oh, only this once, or just because,

because that's what's happening every day in the US military. I can't tell you the stories when you meet a service member who has been brutally raped by someone in their own unit, not only disbelieved by their commander, but then retaliated against because they came forward. That person's life is destroyed for sometimes forever, because it's not just the first betrayal of being raped or assaulted. It's the second betrayal of being betrayed by the institution that you love. And so for all of these allegations, all the ones you hear over and over again, you have to be concerned about the institutional bias against the not powerful, against the survivor who tends to be more junior or less powerful. And so to a commander,

they think that survivor is disposable and I need the one who's accused because he's so great at his day job. I've literally been reading documents and information about when a commander decides that we have to make sure this is no longer part of his record because he's so good at his day job. It just goes to do you value women and do you value survivors? And I think it's hard, but that is when you have to do what's right, especially when it's hard. Thank you, Senator Gillibrand. Before we let you go, you have agreed to play a game with us. Guys, give it up for Senator Jill Brown. Yeah, I'm ready. Now it's time for a game called Queen for a Day.

Since 2012, Grover Norquist, a conservative activist and the only person ever to be visited by three ghosts on Christmas who learned the lesson that Tiny Tim is responsible for his own fucking problems, has asked Republican candidates for office to sign his pledge committing them to his core values, no taxes, no elimination of tax deductions, no rules, just right, Outback Steakhouse. And since I consider myself the Grover Norquist

of liberals attracted to Darren Criss, stop it. I'd like to start my own pledge. For the next two years, I'm going to print presidential candidates down on the issues that matter to me most. You have agreed to be the first to face the gauntlet. I suppose the idea is

you're going to be queen for a day. You're going to set whatever policies you want. Will you honor these pledges? Are you ready? Ready. On day one, do you pledge to eliminate daylight savings and never let the American people see dark before 5 p.m. again? No joke, sleeper issue.

So I want to be clear. I'm not saying we don't have daylight savings times. I'm saying we jump forward one last fucking time, and then that's just time. No. Why? Why? It's so important.

Because. I'd rather it be dark in the morning. I don't want it to be dark in the morning. I get up early. I work out at 6. It's not helpful to me. It's less helpful to me. I have to get up at 5.30.

It's really dark, and I don't like it, and I get my ass out of bed, and I go do my spin class, and I do my Pilates and my yoga, and I'm in bed by 10, for God's sake. This is a filibuster. Too bad. Incorrect.

Wait for a day. If you're waiting for someone to back out of a parking spot and the person is just sitting there with their car in reverse, can you hit the horn? Yes. That's correct. Yes. And say things like, what are you doing?

I think you can tap it. You can tap it. How do you feel about people who back into parking spaces? Are they wise planners or full psychopaths? I am terrible at going in the front way anyway, so I'd be backing in. Controversial, but correct. If it's up to you, when should McDonald's stop serving hash browns

and switch to french fries? Never. They should have hash browns all day long. Wrong. There should never be a time where you can't get fries. That's the correct answer.

Let's see. It says here, agree or disagree, is it okay to say hash brown? No, but why are you limiting the hash brown time? Honestly, I... I mean, my point was don't limit the hash browns. I don't understand. I think it has something to do with the temperature of the fryer.

You can have both the hash brown and the fries. That's fine with me. That's fine with me. That's fine. Exactly. Because different people have preferences. Compromise. The lost art. Unity. All right. But we are not bipartisan.

No, but on this issue, we've crossed a divide. We found the common ground. If someone is the host of a weekly political podcast which is widely successful and popular, how often should their partner listen to an episode? At least once a week. At least once a week. At least once a week. And go back and do the faves over time.

Yeah. That's correct. Is that not happening? It's not happening. He's very busy. We need to talk about that. You talk to him. Will you very busy. We need to talk about that. You talk to him.

Will you finally put a stop to this madness and force a vote on a constitutional amendment capping the number of Grinch movies at no more Grinch movies? I think they're kind of cute. I like them. I like all kids' shows. Take that back to Iowa alright how many times can a person order delivery

before it becomes legally sad there's absolutely no limit alright what is the line of demarcation for upstate New York where does it begin Albany

it begins at Albany. It begins at Albany? Albany. I'm sorry, it's Hudson Valley before Albany. If you're in Albany, you're an upstater and above. It's got Albany and above. Follow up. The Hudson Valley is the Hudson Valley.

It's not upstate. As president. Only New Yorkers would say Westchester's upstate. And I mean people in New York City. Let's talk about those snooty Westchester people for a second. As president, would you do anything to stop Westchester people from sticking

their fancy noses up about Long Island? I'm sick of their shit. I think we should treat others the way we want to be treated. I don't think people want to be treated the way people on Long Island treat people. So it's sort of a tough issue. I'm not saying, there's no heroes in this story. I'm from Long Island. What do you think should happen to the people who locked

certain gay nerds in blue recycling bins in 1998? What should happen to them? The people who are mean to you? I'm not hypothetical. They should... Do you think that Mrs. Mallon has paid high enough of a price for her involvement or her complicity, her silent standing by? This is all I needed. I'm being hugged.

Thank you. Thank you. Don't worry. Don't worry. He needed that. She cares about all our kids. All right. I'm not doing this.

I'm not doing your talk. All right. Last question. When you're at the airport and people start lining up in a big clump way before their group has been called, should we be allowed to subtly bump into them with our rolly bags? Yes. You got it. You've won queen for a day.

Once again, everybody, please give it up for Senator Kirsten Gillibrand. Thank you so much for being here. When we come back, a game about lobbying. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back! American democracy. A beautiful and proud system

where every single one of our voices counts the same. Where we can all influence American policy so long as we put our heads down, put in the work, and form a multi-million dollar lobbying group. For the third year in a row, the amount of money spent on lobbying in D.C. is on the rise. In 2018, almost $3.5 billion was spent on lobbying,

and over half of all active lobbying arrangements involve at least one revolving door lobbyist. That means the lobbyist used to be a member of Congress, a congressional staffer, or other high-level federal worker. I feel like I saw like 30 people sink in their chairs. And while Trump promised to drain the swamp and even signed a flash executive order restricting lobbyists from taking high-level roles in the administration, the White House has routinely waived its own ethics rules in secret, so nobody knows how many waivers were issued. That's weird. That doesn't sound like him. There are so many lobbying groups working in DC for so many causes, we don't think you'll be able to tell what a real lobbying

organization and what a fake lobbying organization sounds like. And so we'd like to test your knowledge in a game we're calling K Street or Nay Street. Would any lobbyists in the house like to play? Hi, what's your name? I'm Susie. Susie. And are you a lobbyist? I work for a trade association, so yes. That's a long yes.

I'm a subject matter expert in lobbying issues. Uh-huh. Okay. I believehuh. Okay. I believe you. Okay. It all checks out. Your job, I'm going to say the name of an organization. You have to tell us if it's a real lobbying group, you'll say real,

or if it's a fake lobbying group, and you'll say fake. Are you ready? I am. The American Dehydrated Onion and Garlic Association. Real. Real. Correct. The Balloon Council. Too slow.

Correct. Wait, wrong. It's real. It's real. You're too slow. The U.S. Association of Reptile Keepers. Real. Correct.

The Association of Makers of Little Plastic Pizza Tables. Real. Fake. Oh! The American Racing Pigeon Union. Real. The American Vaping Association. Real. Fake. Oh! The American Racing Pigeon Union. Real. The American Vaping Association.

Real. And did you see that one of those vaping pens exploded and killed a guy? It lit on fire in his pocket and it was on video when he went to the hospital. Wild. Crazy. Yes. Be careful with your vaping. It's not just making you look terrible.

The Cheesecake Consortium. Fake. Fake. The Institute of Makers of Explosives. Real. Correct. The National Candle Association. Real.

Correct. The Center for American Ambivalence. Fake. The Fuck Jerry Council for the Abolition of Intellectual Property. Real? That's fake. Noodle Partners. Fake. I don't even know what that is.

It's real. Pickle People. Fake. Correct. The Boner Boys. Travis. Fake. Kettlecorn Advocacy United. Fake. Kettlecorn Advocacy United.

Fake. It's fake. You got it. And you didn't listen to them. Proud of you. Southern Shrimp Alliance. Real? Correct.

Spider Strategies. Real? Real. The Healthy Hog Alliance. Fake? Fake. You're getting it. The National Hog Alliance. Fake? Fake. You're getting it. The National Association of Foster Grandparents Program Directors.

Real? And you know what? I'm sad. We're rooting for them. That's a good group, I think. I don't want to find out that they're just anti-climate change or something, that it's fake. But when you tell me there's an organization of foster grandparents, let them in. Let them have the meeting.

I want them in the meeting. That's not tobacco. The U.S. Dry Bean Council. Correct. Fake. Real. God, get it together. No, beans, beans, not dry beans.

The U.S. Dry Pea and Lentil Council. Real. The Stronger America Through Seafood. Real.S. Dry Pea and Lentil Council. Real. The Stronger America Through Seafood. Real. Correct. The Low Carb Council. Real. Fake.

What? The Independent Lubricant Manufacturers Association. Real. That's real. The Baja Men. What? The Baja Men. Fake. You've won the game. What? The Baja Men. Okay.

You've won the game. Thank you for all of your work. Republicans and Donald Trump's big legislative success of 2017 was their tax overhaul, which slashed the corporate rate to 21%. And in 2017, business groups spent big on lobbying. By the end of 2017, it was found to be the most lobbied issued of the year, nearly 1,400 groups lobbying on the legislation.

That's K Street or Nays Street. When we come back, the Railwheel. Don't go anywhere. Love it or leave it, there's more on the way. And we're back! Please welcome back our panel, Akilah Hughes, Alex Wagner, Alyssa Mastromonaco,

for The Rant Wheel. Hi, guys. Now it's time for The Rant Wheel. Here's how it works. We spin the wheel wherever it lands. We talk about the topic. This week on the wheel, we have Elizabeth Warren's DNA test.

We have Jumbo Slice. We have the Rams clashing uniform. We have the Queen's Brexit evacuation plan. We have arguing on Twitter. We have The Bachelor. We have an Antarctic cavern. And we have Marie Kondo. Let's spin the wheel. It has landed on Jumbo Slice.

For those listening, there is a grand tradition in Washington, D.C. There's this place called Adams Morgan. And there is a strip of interchangeable, disgusting alcohol rooms where I spent a significant portion of my 20s. I don't even know what places still exist. The brass ape. I know what it is. Is it still there? It's not there? Was it replaced by another place that's the same? What's there now? It's gay? Oh, that's an improvement. That's good. There weren't a lot of gay places on that strip.

There was the duplex down at the bottom, and then it was just straight nonsense all the way to the McDonald's. Here's the thing, people listening at home. In this part of town called Adams Morgan, there is a kind of pizza that is served at several places and it is called a jumbo slice and all it is is a insanely gigantic and disgusting pizza pizza only technically edible between the hours of 2 and 5 in the morning. And here's the thing.

Managing a piece of pizza the size of a window drape is hard for the sober-minded. But it is downright impossible for a drunk legislative correspondent at three in the morning just getting grease and red pepper flakes all over their pleated, non-wrinkle, docker's khaki with that sheen that comes from the formaldehyde that makes it the kind that doesn't stain. I am so hungry for a jumbo slice. So is Akilah. And they are delicious.

But they are stupid. Is that falafel place still there where they line up? I've been there. I know what you're talking about. I'm very rarely here. They, like, have signs about how you can get weed, but you can't get weed there. Yeah.

I don't know if you've been in a minute, but it's pretty cool. That's my update. It has nothing to do with Amsterdam. All right, well, this ended quiet. Let's spin it again. It has landed on The Bachelor, which was suggested by one Alyssa Mastromonaco.

It's me. Okay, so first of all, there are some of you out there that every Monday night when I'm tweeting about The Bachelor, you're like, Alyssa, you're better than this. You're disappointing. And like, honestly, I'm not better than this and I love it. But that's not my rant. So this Bachelor is on season like 22, right? Yet this week, we find Colton and the many Hannahs, A, B, C, and D, talking about how they are afraid, they're putting walls up,

and my personal favorite, I can't watch the man I'm dating date other women. And like, I just can't it's been over 22 years it's the entire premise of the show but the real thing that got me this week was something I thought we were going to avoid which is when The Bachelor careens into that place of humidity do you know what I'm talking about anyone who watches The Bachelor suddenly there's like not one arid island in all of the Bahamas and they find the one humid place where like Colton and all the girls are just like sweating and it's like girls you've

watched us for 22 years you The Bachelor is older than you why are you bringing silk you're sweating through your silk you are uncomfortable you're not having a good time and so but the thing that Akilah and I were talking about backstage is that, like, as someone with IBS, it's like those two nervous people sweating to death. It's like you know that that port-a-potty is getting, like, a lot of work. Like, a lot of action. It's terrible. But anyway, that's my rant. I'm just sad. Like, why can't they find an arid, even batch in paradise?

It's like, why is it so humid in Mexico? It's not this humid in Mexico. I don't like watching people sweat. It makes me uncomfortable. It's like that movie Broke Down Palace. Remember with Kate Beckinsale and Claire Danes? Remember they were the drug mules? I remember the movie.

What the fuck are you talking about? I'm talking about they were always just so hot looking and sick and she had the roach in her ears so it's like just stop making them

sweat for me. I will just piggyback on this for a second that whenever I see an old timey movie and they're in New York City and they're all in just thick wool all the time

I couldn't have made it. Everyone's in wool. It's like, oh, time to go play tennis. Better put on my wool tennis clothes. Oh, it's my wool. It's like, oh, time to go play tennis. Better put on my wool tennis clothes. Oh, it's my wool morning coat for tennis. It's a natural fiber. But it's so much, so many layers. Were people colder back then? Let's spin it again.

It has landed on Marie Kondo, suggested by Alex Wagner. Kon-Mari method. Yeah, okay. Whoever just hooted is sick. I initially embraced this concept because I guess I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder. And I was like, I don't actually. Well, maybe I do because I initially I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder. And I was like, I don't actually, well, maybe I do because I initially embraced it and I was like, this is great.

I'm going to get rid of everything I own. Has anybody realized that this is like material anorexia? Like this woman just like, get thinner, lose more stuff, lose more stuff. What's that you threw away your wedding album? Get rid of your child. It's like, it never ends, right? There's something sick about getting rid of all of your possessions and it's so nefarious how it begins. It's like, start with your t-shirts. Then go to your husband's

sentimental t-shirts. Now, now go to your books. Is it hard? Does it spark joy? No, get rid of it. And then by the end, you're literally throwing out like heirlooms and jewelry. And nobody has keyed in to the fact that this is all so wrong. We are nothing but a collection of dust and stuff. That's what human beings are. She is trying to deny and uproot our basic humanity I say no more a lot to think about a lot to think about she did have me pick up

Pundit the dog and ask me if it sparked joy thankfully the answer was yes I didn't follow up alright stupid alright she is an angel

thank you let's spin it again. It has landed on Antarctic Cavern, suggested by Akilah. That was me before I started drinking, so we'll see if we can. This is the only serious rant we have ever done in the history of being on your show. Okay, well, before I start, I'd like to say, as a hoarder, it is the best thrifting right now. So get out there. People are just denying themselves of so many gyms.

My home looks amazing. I bet it does. Because you have all my chairs. You have my sofa, my chair, my love seat, two rugs probably. For a person who lives alone, I have like 30 chairs. And I love it. It's excellent. Also, you said it's the 22nd season of The Bachelor.

It is the 69th album from now. That's what I call music. We did it. Nice. So, all right. We did it. Nice. So, all right. The Antarctic Cavern. So the other night during the Super Bowl, I got really bored. And I was like, you know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to start reading other shit on Twitter. And I was a little bit stoned, admittedly. And I found this article on NBC News about this cavern that is under the big sheet of ice that we are hoping doesn't thaw and they have these new cameras now that can look through the ice and they're like Oh, there's a big-ass hole under there. Like it's not more ice It's just water like we're just like it's like an ice cube now on a cup of water And so they're saying that like if the ice falls in all the way All the water on the lake coast is to come up and we're all going to die. And so I just want you to wait.

Glacier in Antarctica. There you go. See, this is what I'm talking about. Someone who's not drinking. That knowing the detail. I would be so drunk right now if there wasn't a child in my stomach. That's fair. And and they.

Good choice. Good choice. I'm like eight months pregnant, you guys. If that wasn't readily apparent, let me just... Yeah, right, exactly. Basically, the radar that they're using shows that the ice loss is dramatically more than anybody thought,

and this glacier alone could rise global sea levels by two feet around the world. It's nigh. Which would be the end of New York City and also love it or leave it. Yeah, and so, you know. So it would mean, so we'd be leaving it. Live from Kansas, it's John Lovett.

We tour all over, we'll be, I mean, look, I'm not for it, I'm just saying we'll be fine. Like, I'll be fine. I plan on not moving from my home as it's happening. But suffice it to say, as a stone person, that really alarmed me. And I think that, you know, if you care about global warming, which you should,

you live on Earth. And only rich white people are going to Mars. I want you to be clear. Like, black people do not get invited to Mars. There's no fucking way. Oprah and no black people. That's it. So, we gotta stay on this bitch. Like, can we please we please just try to be cognizant? And that's my rant.

And one more point about the Rams jerseys. The helmet's navy and the uniform is royal blue. We are from Los Angeles, all right? is royal blue. We are from Los Angeles. All right? A ton of costume designers, including gay costume designers. I don't know how we draw on the talents of LA to help with things like the Rams helmet and the fact that Stacey Abrams was too far away from the people in that shot. We can talk about it. Let's be honest about it. She was lit too much from behind. It looked like a green screen. She was too far away from those kids. That panoply of

American diversity that carried the message. That Rams jersey looked stupid. And it was a hard thing to find out on the same day that Los Angeles had a team called the Rams and that their helmet didn't match their uniform. On the day of the Super Bowl to find that out.

Let's end on a high note. Obviously it's sad seeing Trump standing on the House floor. But what's exciting is that we have someone like Stacey Abrams to lead the response. And how great was that sea of women in white jackets and capes that I wish I could pull off? Trump is the baby boomer supernova, an explosion of the past, but the future was staring at him in the face, which was very cool. And we spoke to Senator Gillibrand, and seeing this democratic field take shape, it's worth remembering that this primary may get heated, and there are big, important debates inside our party, but at the end of the day, we share a mission, and we're on the same team. and there are big, important debates inside our party.

But at the end of the day, we share a mission, and we're on the same team. That's why Crooked and Swing Left are teaming up to launch Unify or Die, a fund that will go to the eventual Democratic nominee so that when our candidate leaves the convention in July 2020 and faces an onslaught from Trump, the Kochs, probably Putin and the Saudis, let's be honest, she has the money to fight and to win.

And so you can go to votesaveamerica.com slash unify to donate right now. Let's give our candidate the best chance she has. I want to thank our incredible panelists, Akilah Hughes, Alex Wagner, Alyssa Mastromonaco, Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, the Anthem Theater, the pandas at the National Zoo, and thank you all for coming out. Have a great night!