Lovett or Leave It - Wack Mirror (Live from San Francisco!)

Episode Date: July 1, 2023

Lovett Or Leave It is gay by the bay for our second tour show at San Francisco’s beautiful Palace of Fine Arts. The incredible Snaxx kicks off a night of laughs, while the Phantom of the Westfield Mall (Chris Fleming) shakes his fist at God and new housing construction. Casey Newton walks us through our tech dystopia, while we quiz him on others. Chef Nate Park gives Lovett a taste of cultivated meat, and Dylan McKeever has us California screamin’ over San Francisco on the big screen. Plus we close out the night with a round of Y-Not-Combinator in honor of Big Tech asking, “Why not?” instead “Why in God’s name?” For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast.

Oh, oh, oh, woke up today during the climate apocalypse. Oh, oh, oh, dear God, it's so hot that I can't sleep. Then I hear that bleep, it's chat-gee I can't sleep. Then I hear that bleep. It's Chat GTT, and it's calling me. It's sending messages from high above. Oh, oh, oh, I say yes, sir, to the grand day I daddy I love. Good morning, overlords. Goddamn, I should have cut the cord.

Not a love story like in her. I really miss the way things were. Good morning, overlords. On hands and knees as I scrub your floor, I think it's far too late to see. AI shouldn't be. Oh, oh, oh, hey, Sam Altman should have put a pin in language models. Oh, oh, oh, social media didn't go well, we're going to hell. Yes, Elon and Zuck made humanity muck. They said, hey teens, you are fat and ugly. So, oh, oh, call a senator, Congress should regulate, don't you see?

Good morning, overlords, computers and men are at war. It's like how in Ex Machina, how suddenly the robots, they gotcha. Good morning, overlords. Did Alexa just call me a whore? It's been years since I've seen a tree. Overlords, I flee. I've seen a tree. Overlords, I flee. I am unemployed.

They took every job. Like in WALL-E, we all became slobs. I sold my wretched soul like an NFT. Artificial intelligence owns me. Oh, oh, oh, we have one chance Try to take a stance and regain control Oh, oh, oh, no, they heard me I take it all back Siri gives a smack

Back in second place Is the whole human race What you reap you will then always sow. Oh, oh, oh, when will we learn? Come on, how did we think this would go? Oh, I love you, Overlord In our quest to never be bored Our doubtful somehow was released

Sucking dick off the big techies And I promise, Overlord I will always be your loyal ward And now it shall forever be It shall forever be Overlords and me Overlords and me Overlords and me And me

Hello, San Francisco. Thank you so much. One more time for the incredible Snacks. She performs at Oasis. You have to go see her. Follow her at Eat More Snacks. Welcome to Love It or Leave It, the Errors Tour. We had a great show here last night, but together,

I think we can beat it. But it's hard to show. It's hard to do. It's hard to know. I got it. Error number one tonight shows less of a size, more of an art. A fine art, which is why we're at this palace. That was written on a card.

We've got Casey Newton here to talk tech. Chef Nate Park gives me a taste of lab-grown meat. Cultivated meat, they want me to call it. The Phantom of the Westfield Mall is here. Dylan McKeever gets quizzed on Bay Area turns in film and TV. You get quizzed on Bay Area cults. And Chris Fleming joins everyone to pitch some new apps. Plus, live high notes. So get thinking. But first, let's get into it. What a week. The Indiana chapter of Moms for Liberty, a right-wing extremist group currently attempting to strip mentions of race and LGBTQ issues from school curricula, apologized for quoting Hitler on the front of their June newsletter.

To be fair, none of us knew that that's where live, laugh, love... Fuck. Fine. None of us knew that that's where live, laugh, love came from. Said the chapter chairperson, we condemn Adolf Hitler's actions and his dark place in human history. One note. If you do find yourself needing to release a public statement affirming your negative take on Hitler, and it could happen to any of us, you can just say Hitler. You don't need to condemn Hitler's

actions. It raises questions. Like maybe you think it was like an execution thing. The vision was there. Mike Pence carving out his niche in the GOP race declared Republican candidates must support a 15-week abortion ban as a minimum nationwide standard. It's a strong stance from a man who's never seen a pussy. And I don't even know that he saw one when he was born. He was found in that field, much smaller than he is now, but not a baby, just a proportionally small version of what he looks like now, same hair, naked, covered in goo,

holding a glowing rock. Said the former vice president, for me, for our campaign, we're going to stand where we've always stood, and that is without apology for the right to life. If I were Mike Pence, I wouldn't stand in one spot too long. I'd keep it moving.

Magagoons are fast, but only over short distances. And you gotta zigzag. They're not good at turning You know That's the thing If a chud with a red hat Is running towards ya First of all people think you stand still And their vision depends on movement

That's a myth Meanwhile former Green Party nominee Jill Stein Has joined Cornel West's presidential campaign as his interim coordinator. A lot of people are skeptical about West's chances, but with Jill Stein on board, I have no doubt that he will be able to successfully replicate the exact results of the 2016 election.

Yeah, I don't know. What are we going to do? Sucks. The Supreme Court ruled against the protection of water rights for the Navajo Nation, which drew a powerful dissent by Justice Neil Gorsuch, who was joined by the court's liberals. The Navajo have waited patiently for someone, anyone to help them, only to be told repeatedly that they have been standing in the wrong line and must try another. The Times reported that as Brett Kavanaugh summarized the majority opinion,

Gorsuch looked sad and bowed his head, closing his eyes. This is such a blemish on an otherwise perfect Supreme Court, he thought. It is cool that Gorsuch has this one little empathy bump in his brain that no amount of undisclosed billionaire yacht orgies can smooth out. What happened there? Did his dad finally say, I love you while they were watching Dances with Wolves? No one, you don't have a better theory. In Jones v. Hendricks, Clarence Thomas wrote the majority opinion,

which says federal prisoners are only permitted to appeal their conviction once, even if new information reveals that they were convicted under a law that doesn't apply. Wild. Hey, you're innocent. We can all see that now. Unfortunately, it says here that you tried to tell us you were innocent once before, so it looks like our hands are tied. Well, not our hands, your hands, really, or at least they should be. Let's get those shackles back on and back to prison.

Anywho, next case, that was fast. We're crushing today, bailiff. Yeah. All right, we'll get out of it. We'll get out of it. We'll get out of it. Oh, no, we won't. In a minute. In their joint dissent, Justices Sonia Sotomayor and Elena Kagan wrote, a prisoner who is actually innocent in prison for conduct that Congress did not criminalize is forever barred from raising that claim merely because he previously sought post-conviction relief. Does it make sense? No. But give Clarence Thomas a break. You try writing a compelling legal argument after all that foie gras and chambord.

Less than two weeks after the partial collapse of I-95 in Philadelphia, Governor John Shapiro announced that the stretch of highway is now open with a temporary six-lane roadway while they continue repairs. Twelve days. A temporary highway. It blew up. Twelve days. Think about what it takes to build a bike path in California.

I don't even have a joke. We can build a highway in 12 fucking days? One of the first vehicles to cross the repaired roadway was a fire truck carrying the city's sports mascots, Gritty, the Philly Fanatic, Swoop, Fang, and Franklin the Dog. Unfortunately, they were crossing on their way to lay bloody siege to Jersey City, and a curfew remains in effect. A county in Oregon has sued 17 oil companies and other related organizations for the 2021 heat wave that killed 69 Oregonians. Nice. That's it. Honda has announced a recall of over 1 million vehicles this week,

citing a potential issue with their rearview cameras. A company spokesperson said that until the problem is resolved, all Hondas that contain the flaw should be monitored closely and considered, quote, as lethal as Teslas. The FDA has cleared a new erectile dysfunction treatment called Erexon. Short pitch meeting. What should we call it? Any ideas? Erexon.

Meeting over. You fucking got it. It's for over the counter. To think, the dudes at the Submersible just missed it. I know. I know. I know. I know. You're right. No, I'm sorry.

According to the manufacturer, Erexon gel helps men get an erection within 10 minutes. Why bother? I mean, you can just watch Singing in the Rain, said Mike Pence. The gel is apparently the first of its kind, which means I've been using Advil liquid gels wrong this whole time. A NASA camera monitoring Jupiter

captured a glowing green light emanating from the planet's surface. Scientists hypothesize that this is a lightning strike caused by clouds containing an ammonia-like water solution. Can you imagine? No love, pride, deep-fried chicken, your best friend always sicking up for you? Two Russian cos... Don't applaud.

Don't applaud. Two Russian cosmonauts spent six hours outside the space station this week removing old equipment and hurling it away from the station where it will burn up in the thermosphere. The cosmonauts reportedly ditched tech related to a long completed science experiment, an obsolete telemetry transmitter,

and that Apple TV remote you've been looking for. The cosmonauts said of the equipment, "'We think it, but it no longer sparks joy.'" The US Preventative Services Task Force recommended that all adults in America under 65 be screened for anxiety and depression. Americans over 65 don't need to be screened, of course, as their anxiety and depression typically goes away after a widow

heart attack halfway through their 12-hour Amazon shift. What does the term going hard in the paint mean? Columbia Pictures released the trailer for Dumb Money, their upcoming Paul Dano movie about the infamous GameStop stock short squeeze. We all remember from January of 2021. First of all, gotta let these things fucking percolate a little longer. Second, hot Cheetos, Beanie Babies,

Blackberries, GameStop, these are not our myths. These are just things that happened. They're not lore that we all tell each other that we can't wait to see dramatized. Hollywood, make something up. Not from a comic book, not from an article, just go in a room, close the door,

and come out with a new story. You used to do it all the time. I know you're out of practice. Two people are in love, they're not in love. Two people aren't in love, then they are in love. There's only like five ways to do it. Speaking of cinema, Martin Scorsese, Steven Spielberg, and Paul Thomas Anderson

had an emergency meeting with Warner Brothers Discovery CEO David Zaslav in an effort to protect Turner Classic Movies. Our primary aim is to ensure that TCM's programming is untouched and protected, said the directors in a statement. Hear, hear, said a huge loser watching Bringing Up Baby for the 12th time on a Saturday night. Love Bringing Up Baby. We love Bringing Up Baby. It's amazing. Where are my baby heads at?

My bringing up baby heads. Actor Dermot Mulroney walked off set during a taping of The View in symbolic support of the WGA strike. I love this story because of the details. Before leaving the stage, the actor asked the host if they were getting ready to go to commercial break

and then thanked them before walking off mid-segment. After his walk-off gesture, Mulroney returned to the stage for photos with the view host during the commercial break. No notes. Absolutely the most actor thing ever. And now I shall walk off.

You're the real heroes. Photo, photo, photo. Thank ya. And scene. My joke would kill in LA. I think tech bros do for your world what actors do in LA. What do you think? Is that right?

Maybe. I wasn't looking. It's okay. A week after upsetting Beatles fans online, Paul McCartney walked back his comment that the band has used AI to create a song with John Lennon's vocals. Can't say too much at this stage, but to be clear,

nothing has been artificially or synthetically created, said McCartney, though there was a man in a lab coat with an evil grin rocking a bassinet that said JL Test 6 Alpha. Weird. a man in a lab coat with an evil grin rocking a bassinet that said JL test six alpha weird it's all real and we all play on it McCartney continued we cleaned up some existing recordings a process which has gone on for years McCartney added that it was the same technology used in Peter Jackson's documentary get back and the follow-up get back AI John Lennon has a knife. What if you were dead? All right, not doing it. Paramount Plus has canceled the prequel series Grease, Rise of the Pink Ladies after one season.

Please. Because when you see Grease, you're plagued afterwards by a curiosity by the origin of the pink ladies. As we all know, the most interesting question in the world is, how did these high school kids become friends? A giant African land snail was found in Broward County, Florida, forcing officials to create a quarantine area to prevent the invasive species from spreading. First responders are on their way to the scene with garlic butter and toast. The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, an animal rights organization, called on Georgia's Macon Bacon baseball team to change its name as well as its bacon-heavy stadium menu as the food has been linked to a myriad of health problems.

Doing themselves no favors, as if the bacon replaced acai bowls. The group suggested making faking bacon, alluding to a plant-based meat alternative. I'm just now getting late-breaking news. The Physicians Committee on Responsible Medicine was given an atomic wedgie and shoved inside a locker. Three men in South Dakota were arrested after being caught stealing a velociraptor statue

from outside an arts and science center in the state. I have a message for these gentlemen. Obviously, times have changed, and we look back on velociraptors eating alive Robert Muldoon as morally reprehensible, but that doesn't mean it's okay to erase our history.

A Nevada town was overrun with a biblical infestation of blood-red crickets as thousands of eggs buried in the soil began to hatch. The Nevada Department of Public Safety is advising that everyone in the area max out their energy weapons and start looting their local abandoned factories for ammo and bottle caps. It's finally happening.

The prophecy is true. War never changes. A Price is Right contestant celebrated so hard he dislocated his shoulder on air after correctly guessing the price of a Hawaiian vacation. The contestant was unfortunately way off on the price of an uninsured ambulance ride and plans to use the Hawaiian vacation

to fake his own death. And finally, the Agriculture Department has for the first time approved the sale of lab-grown meat in the U.S. His name? Ron DeSantis. When we come back, Casey Newton is here. And we're back. Here to explain why we shouldn't just force quit the entire tech industry and restart it after 10 seconds,

please welcome to the stage, from hard fork and platformer, Casey Newton. Hi. Nice to see you. Come on. What's going on? Hey, San Francisco. Happy Pride? Happy Pride. Kicking off Pride, two queens and a palace. How about that? I love it.

I love it. I love it. Can I tell you something? And I'm sorry to put you on the spot, and I mean this as a compliment. We've never met before. We haven't. You don't have tall energy. Oh, okay. Interesting. That's a compliment. Tall energy sucks. Walking around like you fucking own the place.

Casey Newton. Yeah. Republicans have been beating the drum that Twitter and other social media platforms censor conservatives. Yeah. Silence dissent. Elon Musk bought Twitter to stop this. Empowered some anti-woke goofs to reveal internet internal debates to make Twitter seem like it was doing that. Meanwhile, today, the Washington Post published a story about the internal debate before January 6th at Twitter.

Can you talk a little bit about what the Post reported? Yeah, so this is a great story, and this all apparently came out during the January 6th investigation. And there is this fear among the conservatives that Twitter and all the employees there were trying to do everything they could to get the Republicans off the platform. But when they actually look at the records,

they find these videos and these audio recordings where the Twitter employees are doing everything they could to get the Republicans off the platform. But when they actually look at the records, they find these videos and these audio recordings where the Twitter employees are doing everything they can to keep Trump on the platform as long as they can, because it's just going to be a nightmare for them if they have to kick him off. So I'm sure that's going to change all the Republicans' minds, and this will be the last we hear about it. Oh, that's one less thing to worry about. So to that end, you recently talked about and wrote about the fact that we're at the end of the peak trust and safety era, which I think is fine because I feel like we've had plenty of both. What do you mean by that? What was peak trust and safety and how did we miss it?

Yeah, if you blinked, you might have. I mean, look, after 2016, there was a lot of pressure on these platforms to do more, and they actually did go out and hire tens of thousands of people. And I know for a lot of us, it doesn't always feel like that money was well spent. But I think the scary thing that, you know, journalists and academics have been noticing lately

is that even that low bar, they are starting to pull back, and we are starting to see more hate speech, other kinds of problems, and not just on Twitter, which is, you know, mostly an abandoned mall at this point, but even on a Facebook, on Instagram, we're starting to see that pullback. So I think as we head into a new election, there's probably going to be a reason to put more pressure on these platforms again to try to police their walls. One of the reasons they're pulling back is they're sort of admitting failure, right? That they hired all these people, they put people in these jobs that were truly some of the reasons they're pulling back is they're sort of admitting failure, right? That they hired all these people.

They put people in these jobs that were truly some of the worst jobs you can have in front of a computer, right? Just like seeing what is flagged on the Internet day in, day out. You know, it feels like it should be in the inferno. Like one of the things you get to before the bird's picking out your fucking eyes is like, whatever's coming over that fucking transom, right? But even though it does seem as though their efforts have failed, they still have an obligation to keep trying. Yeah, they do. And there's a lot of regulatory pressure on them to do so. I mean, Europe is basically going to require them to have some sort of standard. So they're not going to get rid of these teams completely. They can't, but we are going to have to put some more pressure on them.

get rid of these teams completely. They can't, but we are going to have to put some more pressure on them. So Chuck Schumer this week announced that he's decided he's going to join the AI revolution. Yeah. So that's another relief. If you were testifying before a congressional committee about regulating AI, an amorphous term, an amorphous industry, its future completely uncertain, what would be the first thing you'd tell them to look at? There's two things that worry me a lot about AI.

One is that it's moving very fast, and two is we don't know how it works. We could probably start with the second one, right? When I say we don't know how it works, what I mean is when you use chat GPT and you answered a complicated question and it gives you a pretty good answer, we ask somebody at OpenAI, well, like, why did it give you that answer? They don't know. They can tell you at a very high level. They can say, well,

it was sort of like statistical probabilities, but we sort of don't know how it got there. And so the fear is that as these systems get better, if we don't know how they work, we're not going to understand all the consequences that they're going to have. One of the challenges, right, is it seems like one of the ways they want to prove they know how it works is having the machine itself explain what it did.

Yeah. But the problem there is the machine will know that the reason it's being asked to explain what it did is so that it can be approved to continue doing what it does. But it's been asked to explain what it did is so that it can be approved to continue doing what it does. But it's been told to do what it does, therefore it may tell you what you want to hear. So that is the fear. Like, right now that is not happening.

The machines cannot deceive us knowingly. I do not believe. Okay? We'll see. Again, we don't know how they work, but I believe in my heart that this is not the case. But the word knowingly, what does that mean? Well, here's the thing. Do is not the case. Well, you said, like, the word knowingly. Yeah. What does that mean? Well, here's the thing.

Like, do you remember the case from a couple weeks ago where the lawyer was citing all these cases based on ChatGPT? And the thing that was the funniest about that was that he went to ChatGPT and he said, hey, are these cases real? And, like, ChatGPT is not in a position to answer that question

because it is just predicting the next words in a sequence. It does not have a memory of the entire case law of the United States. So that is the fear right now. It's that these systems are too stupid to trust rather than they are so smart that they're going to wipe us all out. Oh, people in the front row are like, yes, that's the correct answer to this brand new, extremely complicated and novel problem. Yes, correct's the correct answer to this brand new, extremely complicated and novel problem.

Yes, correct. Next question. The audience is ready to move on. AI, box, chat. Unbelievable. How was that my mic drop moment? You know, where people are like, yeah. So as part of the WGA strike the writers have said hey can

you just it's obviously a small thing it's not even a big deal but can you just for now like please say you won't use ai to replace us i mean it's even stupid to ask because you're not doing that and you wouldn't do that and they're like that is a line in the sand we might and that's was that surprising to you that the studios were like, we want the option to use AI already? So not totally surprising because I think that one challenge we have with AI is that AI means many different things, but one way

that we often use the word AI is as a substitute for talking about the automation of labor, right? And so when labor can be automated, often capitalists want to. So the fact that studios came along and said, we probably can't actually just use a language model to write pitch perfect for, like that doesn't surprise me, you know?

Sometimes your reactions are weird. Is crypto dead? Can we be done now? I am so proud to announce that after a truly bruising fight, crypto actually is dead. It's really dead. Don't buy the tip. Do not buy anything crypto related until further notice.

Are there people here that find that wrong? Oh, wow. For now. For now. That's exciting. I like coming here. Actually, the monkeys aren't stupid. I know that that's not why you raised your hand.

I'm diminishing you because you don't have a microphone. What do you think of the Apple Vision Pro headset? See, this is where I'm going to lose them. Because I think it could be cool. All right. I know what you're thinking, which is... The guy that raised his hand about crypto is applauding. Yeah. I know what you're thinking, which is... The guy that raised his hand about crypto is applauding.

Right now, there is no reason to put a computer on your face. It may be that there is never a reason to put a computer on your face. I am going to allow for that possibility. But my thing is, I like a really big screen. John, do you like a really big screen? I like a really big screen. We're in front of a really big screen right now, okay? The promise of the face computer is you're going to put this thing

on. You have a portable iMacs that you throw in your backpack, okay? That is the promise of the Reality Pro. So we'll see if they get there, but that's why I'm excited. Here's my... You're on the wrong side. You're on the wrong side of history. Here's my issue with this. Yeah.

When does the iPhone really start taking off? Like 2007. That's roughly 15 years ago. And in 15 years ago, this novel little tablet became ubiquitous and in our imaginations permanent. I think it is easier for us to imagine the oceans destroying the coastlines than it is to imagine us not having these addictive devices anymore. That's 15 years.

I don't want to. I watched that ad for the Vision Pro, and what I took away from it was like, oh, this is not Oculus. It's not Child's Play anymore. This isn't a toy for doing Beat Saber, which was awesome. This is like the part of Indiana Jones where he has to fight the big dude, who's

like, does the arm stretch, you know? It's like Indiana Jones took out the minions, but then the big guy with the mustache is like, like, that's what it feels like when Apple takes this on, like, oh, right, now we're going to have a real struggle here. Because they're thinking through the hard questions about what's going to get people, especially the early adopters, to actually try it. And that sort of terrifies me because the problem right now we have with these phones is it started as something you could choose until it became something you had to be a weirdo to not choose.

Yeah. something you had to be a weirdo to not choose. Yeah. And speaking of being a weirdo and you can't choose, the weirdest thing about the Reality Pro is this feature they call EyeSight, which is when they visualize their eyes on the exterior surface of the device. You guys see this? So it's worth thinking about, like, why would they

build that into the model? And it's because they think that you're going to be in your office and you're going to just want to know at a glance whether your co-worker can see you or not wearing the face computer that is now part of their requirements of doing their job. So obviously that is insane. But I want to watch a movie on a plane.

Oh, well, I guess we don't need to have a society anymore. Here's why I like covering tech in general. And like this goes back to crypto. Crypto failed because it was not useful. It was one of the least usable pieces of technology ever designed, right? When face computer comes out, it's either going to be usable or it's not. If no one wants to use it, nobody will. The reason that we all have phones in our pocket right now is because they're useful. So that's how it will happen. Sure. But I agree

with that. But the problem is there can be something incredibly useful that's also very bad for us. Or there can be something that is helpful to us very bad for us, or there can be something that is helpful to us in a lot of ways, and phones obviously are, while harmful to us in the broadest sense. We are all made miserable by being so online. It is remarkable how often people talk about the freedom they felt when they took a break from their phones, the experience of being alive until a second ago. And so people have a funny way of confusing what is useful and what is good for them. And that's all of us.

It's not even a paternalistic thing. It's the challenge of a technology that gives you a short-term burst of good feeling, but hurts you over the long term. You're completely right, right? And maybe it's worth separating tech into kind of two buckets. One is just things that make you more productive, make your job easier, right?

And then one is sort of more social entertainment products. And I tend to get really excited about the productivity stuff. Like, it's so much easier for me to do my job today than it was 15 years ago. It's been, you know, I can't imagine life without the tools that I have now. On the other hand, I have to manage my relationship with all the social apps on my phone because they will make me depressed if I don't do that. So I just think we need to develop, I mean, we need to do a million things about this problem, but you're absolutely right.

There are so many systemic issues that we then turn into individual failings, right? And I think one thing that we're seeing now, right, is that was true for food and dieting. We built this wild, ridiculous food sugar corn delivery system and then told people, despite their evolution, telling them to consume it. My friend had a joke he used to tell about Brumlin Brown, the butter substitute, that's like sweet, fatty, salty butter substitute. And he said that if a caveman was with a group of other cavemen and found a tree that

made Brumlin Brown, he'd kill every person with him so that only he knew about the tree. And we make it an individual failing, then all of a sudden a Zempik or all these other ones come along, and you're basically, through the same capitalist system that made them unable to resist

food, gives them a weapon to fight food. Is there going to be another Zempik for tech? Is there going to be something? Like, are we... The iPhone is 15 years old. And we're like, that's it. We're fucked for fucking ever. Is there anything that's going to come along and beat it?

Can we get out of this? What are we going to do, Casey? I don't want to live like this anymore. I mean... Okay, let's go back to your mythical... It's your fault. You don't even put your phone in a box at night or anything. You're like, nah, I like

my phone at dinner. Text, text, text. Eat, eat, eat. I'm phone maxing. No, yes, these are all a lot of problems, but if we go back to your imaginary friend who finds the tree with the synthetic butter and you say, hey, would it be okay if I put into your hand the sum total

of all human knowledge and a way to communicate with anyone instantly in the world for free, that's going to be really hard for them to put down. That's exactly right. Yeah, and yeah. I don't down. That's exactly right. Yeah. What's Kara Swisher like as a landlord? Tough but fair. Tough but fair.

She's a great landlord. She's a great landlord. I'll tell you two things about Kara Swisher. One, absolutely psychotic about making sure that the recyclables are in the right bin. Yeah. She will look through the trash and she will have notes. Man.

Yeah. Perils of a lesbian landlord. Yeah. The flip side is she can fix anything. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah.

Since we're here in one of America's most prominent tech dystopias, we thought we'd challenge you to rank some of the most iconic dystopias from the silver screen in a little game we're here in one of America's most prominent tech dystopias, we thought we'd challenge you to rank some of the most iconic dystopias from the silver screen in a little game we're calling Whack Mirror. All right. I'm going to have you rank them one to five on a scale of most to least likely. Okay.

Okay? One to five, most to least likely. One is most likely. The number one ranked most likely. Five is least likely. Got it. Top to bottom five, most to least likely. One is most likely. One is most likely. The number one ranked most likely. Got it. Five is least likely. Got it. So top to bottom, most likely to least likely.

You have to give them a ranking, TikTok style. You're not going to know what's next. Okay. Oh, okay. Okay. All right. All right. Here are your options.

First up, Ready Player One, the 2011 book by Ernest Cline, a 2018 movie of the same name. On one hand, the world is plunged into climate change and economic collapse. On the other hand, Apple Vision Pro. Yeah, for real. On a scale of one to five, most or least likely? Oh, man.

That one I do think is more likely than not, but I also don't really know what the other choices are. So maybe let's just put that one at three. Three, okay. Yeah. Don't look. Don't look at the screen. are. So maybe let's just put that one at three. Three, okay. Yeah. Don't look. Don't look at the screen.

I'm not. She's... There's the PowerPoint. The PowerPoint. Next up. Gattaca. The 1997 film starring Jude Law, Ethan Hawking, Uma Thurman. Don't look at the screen. I'm not looking!

In the future, only the genetically perfect are allowed to live in society. The same is currently happening on TikTok. How likely is Galaga? You know, Galaga's a great movie, but that one feels

a little bit less likely to me than everyone just wearing face computers to avoid the realities of climate change. So let's put that one at four. Okay. Next up, Blade Runner.

In the future, Harrison Ford stars as a man tasked with hunting down synthetic humanoid replicas. Wait, can I at least know why they're laughing? They're laughing because they're watching somebody make a slide deck. Oh. In real time. God help us if Zuri gets a text right now.

What do you think? Blade Runner. Like, hunting down android. That truly seems like far future sci-fi, so I'm putting that one at five. Okay. Water World. 2,500.

Humanity lives on a floating man-made raft. Several rafts. After climate change causes the oceans to rise 29,000 feet above sea level. It's 2023, so we don't know. Yeah. That seems like a strong two. Okay. Yeah.

And finally, WALL-E. Earth is a garbage planet. Humans live on a cruise ship as space slobs, consuming content and food in perma-chill floating recliners. One. It's obviously one. So let's check out our final rankings. We can look at it now.

Number five, least likely Baderunner, four, Gattaca, three, Ready Player One, two, Waterworld, number one, WALL-E. I think you did it. Yeah, I think that's what I think. Three, Ready Player One. Two, Waterworld. Number one, Wally. I think you did it. Yeah, I think that's what I think. Casey Newton won the game. Everybody, go listen to Hard Fork and subscribe to Podformer. When we come back, a taste of your finest regional cults.

That was great. Thank you, Casey. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back! Even in 2023, it's pretty clear what the Bay Area is best known for. No, not the trolley cars. No, not the sourdough.

No, not the gay stuff. And you already said trolley cars. Okay, you got it. It's all the extremely California cults, communities, and obscure religious... groups. If you're in the audience and think you know a thing or two about a commune or a twelve, raise your hand for a segment we're calling Better Than Sects. That person was so excited and sure they knew.

They went right up. Hi, what's your name? Hi, I'm Chip. Chip? Yes, like wood or computer. Yep. Hi, Chip. Hi, John.

You're crushing it. Thank you. All right. We're going to move fast. You have to say if these are real or fake. Got it. A drug rehabilitation program that turned radical. This group forces members to shave their heads and undergo

vasectomies and abortions and eventually tried to murder a lawyer who had won a lawsuit against them by putting a rattlesnake in his mailbox. Real. That's correct. It's the Church of Sinanon, founded in Santa Monica in 1958. Later headquartered in Oakland. This group of hardcore Grateful Dead fans took vows of

celibacy, twirled in ecstasy at the band's shows, and worshipped Jerry Garcia as a deity. Fake. Real. Yeah. Ew. It was the Church of Unlimited Devotion, a.k.a. The Spinners.

This community was a co-ed commune devoted to Nordic cycles of nature, fertility, and using psychedelics with a focus on celebrating the summer season. I don't think I need to tell you this. They are white. Fake. That's correct.

That's the Harga, the cult from Midsommar. Chip, this group, which still exists, has a stated philosophy of responsible hedonism. Its members live on a commune in purple homes, drive around in purple limos, and in the 70s held a public demonstration of what they claimed was a woman having a three-hour orgasm. Oh, that's real.

Yep, it's the Lafayette Morehouse, a.k.a. the Purple People. Why did you feel so confident you knew all the cults? This woman here told me, and she seems very trustworthy. But more broadly, even when you raised your hand, you just wanted to participate. Yes, that's right, yeah. But you're not, not like studying religious sects or anything? I knew nothing, no.

Honestly? That is the spirit that built this city. This religious congregation originated in Nebraska and brought with them interests in strict in-group social norms, agriculture, and he who walks among the rows. Real.

Nope, that's fake. That's the children of the corn. This utopian community was founded in the 1870s by a minister and poet who taught that every person is a spiritual counterpart whom one can only identify by having sex with them. If it's a sex cult, it's got to be real. That's real. It's the Fountain Grove in Santa Rosa. This community, led by the teachings of the matriarch Ellen Graham, taught its followers that prosperity and abundance were possible by bringing the demon

king Paimon to Earth in a human vessel. Woman leader? Yes. The U.S. is too misogynist. No way. Correct. That was hereditary. Another Ari Aster film. This pagan religion celebrated May Day, the harvest and Scottish tradition,

but ultimately ended up sacrificing a police officer in a giant effigy of a man. Sex Cult 2 or no? No Sex Cult. Ooh, fake. That's correct. It is The Wicker Man. And finally, this group has multiple locations where you can pay to get your aura scrubbed

and your balls drained of bad energy. That sounds real. That is real. That's the Berkeley Psychic Institute. Chip, like a wood or computer, you've won the game. When we come back, lab-grown meat. And we're back. Meat. It's back on the menu, as an orc might say. Or any of us who are well aware of the wretched ethical compromises we make when we consume meat that flows from an

inhumane and environmentally destructive system. But maybe there's a solution. Veganism? No, shut the fuck up. Here to tell us about what they're calling cultivated meat, it's Chef Nate Park. Hi, how are you? They're bringing out these dishes. Oh, wow, they're very fancy-seeming. This is exciting. Hi, Chef Nate.

Hi, how are you? And Chef Zach. Thanks, Zach. So where are you from? You're from, what's your company called? Eat Just in Alameda. Eat Just, okay. And now.

Thank you. Now, I was excited about this because this meat, we have two dishes here. They look very refined. Thank you. This is meat. It is. It's chicken.

It's chicken. But it didn't come from a chicken. Well, it did come from a chicken. It just came from a biopsy of a chicken. We didn't have to It's chicken. It's chicken. But it didn't come from a chicken. Well, it did come from a chicken. It just came from a biopsy of a chicken. We didn't have to hurt the chicken. So it came from a chicken, and then what happens? Well, we take the cell, and then, as you would any other food product, we're very, very delicate with it, but we culture it.

We grow it ourselves. Process takes about 30 days days and then we can harvest every three days after that. I have to say, so it just looks like a slice of chicken. Yeah, that's the hope. We want it to be as normal as possible. We know there's a little bit of a factor, you know, I mean, but, but see, but I'm, see this to me, I'm like so interested in this because I'm really excited about, and you're calling it cultivated meat. Yeah. And I've gone back and forth. I'm not sure about the name cultivated meat. I'm not sold on it yet, but that's okay. But, but what is the kind of goal for what this can do in terms of how it changes meat consumption? For sure. Well, I think as everybody knows, I mean,

especially here in California, the, the issue with the water, land, environment in general, okay, that's one whole giant bucket that this really helps tame that issue. We can grow proteins much, much quicker. We can still make something delicious and tasty, and we can do it responsibly. So in that sense, that's just one bucket. Our CEO, he's very animal-minded. So for him, if we could stop some factory farming, I think that would be a big boon for him. For all of us, actually. But for me personally, as a chef, I just want to feed people.

And this is a new way for us to create new proteins to where we can just feed people. And now before I eat this, has someone in the government just given it the once-over? Given it the old, like a, just given it a, just, anybody, anybody, anybody given it just an eyeball just to take a look? They actually did. Okay, cool. Like a home inspection? You know, where they're like, ooh, the electrical's not where you need it to be kind of thing? No, but the FDA had to look at it to give us, you know, this process took about three years for us to go through

and about 300 plus pages of, hey, this is how we do this. They kind of picked us apart, as we would hope they would. hey, this is how we do this. They kind of picked us apart, as we would hope they would. And then just like every other meat-producing factory, we have an office for the guy at the USDA. He's got his own parking spot. I don't have my own parking spot, but he's got one.

And they come and they inspect and they watch it, and we harvest, and then we process it. Did the inspector try it? Not to my knowledge, no. All right, that's okay, that's okay. So let's start. We have two dishes in front of us. What is this dish? So that's a smoked chicken salad. So essentially, take our chicken, and I threw it in the smoker today. Zach and I put it in the smoker, smoked it about 30 minutes, and then basically just made chicken salad. It's my mom's recipe.

And then this dish, what is this dish? So this is just a summer set. This is what I was going to serve you today. So we changed it to some patty pans, sweet potato puree on the bottom. And it's just sliced chicken on top. Just sliced chicken on top. Wow, okay, so let's try this smoked chicken salad. It smells good. Thank you.

It smells very good. Tastes like chicken. It tastes like chicken. It's the nicest thing anyone could say to us. Thank you. That's a smoked chicken salad. Singapore is the only other country that's approved the sale of cultivated meat so far. For sure.

Why? And we're second, and now we've been approved. That just happened, right? Singapore is really, really cool. First of all, if you've never been, please go. It's a wonderful place. But about three years ago, we started talking with them about this process. They're very forward-thinking, and they saw the potential.

They did the same vetting process that we did here, and they realized, wow, this is just another way for us to grow responsible protein, so let's do it. So we've been doing that, actually, for about two and a half years in Singapore. I've now tried chicken salad, but as every person knows, chicken salad is where you hide things sometimes. Well, technically, chicken nuggets is where you would hide it. But, you know, sometimes you're like, ooh, let's get this in a chicken salad. Yeah, for sure. Mayonnaise can do a lot. Yep.

You know? It sure can. It's delicious. But this is really great. Genuinely, I love it. Really great. Thank you. Now, Chef Nate, we are now going to try what just looks like sliced chicken.

Now, one thing that I, when Cultivated Meat was first coming online, a lot of it was like ground meat, right? It was like, that was like the early stuff. So you talk a little bit about how hard it is to go from like cells and just something that could maybe work in a ground meat to like what looks like actual slices of chicken with the grain and like it looks like chicken. For sure.

So it's a difficult process, as you would imagine. When we started, we started as a chicken nugget, because as I said, if you really want to hide it, the easiest way to do it is in a nugget, right? I think we've all had some questionable nuggets in our lives, but we started that way. It was a good way to make a nice texture and just to get the point across, if nothing else. We need to educate people that this is just a new way to have your chicken. All right, here we go. This is cool.

You guys, this is good. Thank you. You really would not. Really, you did it. You guys did it. Thank you. We still think it needs work, but yeah, we're every day improving. That is amazing. Thank you so much. Oh, needs work, but yeah, we're every day improving. That is amazing.

Thank you so much. Oh, it's going to happen. It's going to happen. Now, let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. My dream, and I've said this before, 3D printer, ribeye steaks, the size of pizza boxes. Possible? Why not?

Sure. With a 3D printer, you can make it any size you want, right? You think it's possible? Of course. Just ribeye steaks coming off a printer. I don't think tomorrow, but yes, I do think it's possible. Yes, 100%. Awesome.

Would you wear an Apple Vision Pro? Probably not, but. Sky crushes. Chef Nate Park, thank you so much. We're going to work on the name for Cultivated Meat, but this is great. This is amazing. We'll take it if you can come up with a good one.

It's happening. It is happening. That's cool. Well, thanks so much for having us. When we come back, more show. And we're back. Earlier this month, San Francisco's hub took another hit when Westfield decided to walk away

from their centrally located mall. Here to discuss the problems affecting the city's once bustling downtown, it's the phantom who lives under the Westfield mall. Ha ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha The phantom The Phantom of the Westfield Mall is here. Inside John's mind.

Hi, Phantom. Hi. My angel of retail. Oh, no. You've been tickling me all night long, John Why does it smell like meat made by three men out here? Come to me, angel of retail Shop for me! Shop for me!

Thank you for being here, Phantom. My pleasure. Would you mind joining me over here? You know what, I'm going to sit. You come over whenever. It's just that I haven't been in a proper theater for so long, John. I've been in the Westfield Mall. Are you also the Phantom of the Opera? No, but we text.

Now, poor man, it's been a bad year for Phantoms. His show closed, now the Westfield Mall. People don't go to opera houses anymore, John. It's hard to... You probably haven't been in weeks. Yeah, I mean, I'm more of a fall asleep in front of ultimatum queer love because I don't want to admit that I failed to do

what I said I'd do today type of guy. But yeah, let's say it's been a couple weeks since I've been to the opera. You could never love me, John. My face is too wicked. This face, it burns from

all the free samples from Sephora. But there are parts of me you could love, John. Look at my hokas, John. I got them at Journeys. Hokas are our fashionable and supportive shoe that's good for an active lifestyle

Made well Nordstrom Aldo and Sunglass Hut No one's ever bought shit from Sunglass Hut A guy in 2004 almost did

But then he went to the strip club instead It's over now Then he went to the strip club instead. It's over now. The music of Sunglass Heart. Blooming Tales is still pushing the Wonderbra. If you go in Louis Vuitton, you get tackled by security. Club Monaco feels like an FBI sting operation to catch a DJ. Zara is just girlfriends shopping while their boyfriends swipe on Tinder. All right, okay.

Phantom, all right, we get it. It's been a tough year all around. How you holding up? Oh, you know, pretty bad. I felt like I was getting somewhere, John. I had a new ingenue. She worked at Nordstrom. I told her if she did crest white strips,

she could be floor manager by Labor Day. And I said if they didn't heed my request, disaster beyond imagination would occur! Which means I would just turn all the chairs on at Brookstone. Imagine! which means I would just turn all the chairs on at Brookstone. Imagine. Imagine 15 vibrating chairs, John. I could give you that life. I could...

Let me get you a neck massager from Brookstone. I could treat you better than crooked media. Throw your podcast away and live with me in Kate Spade. Hey, hey, Phantom. Wait. A namesake retailer

showcasing the designer's chic upbeat handbags, women's wear, and accessories. But you could never love this face, John. It's too wicked after what happened

at Sephora. It's not on the cue card, John. I used too much of the Kardashian skincare line. You know which Kardashian? Rob Kardashian. It was just a pickleback shot. My T-zone is completely fucked.

He's reading from cards, but what cards? Where did they come from? Who gave them to him? We all interpret language differently, John. I'm like one of the aliens from Arrival. I'm the heptapod. Instead of the chandelier, I came down on the Shake Shack sign. Yeah, you just come down on the Shake Shack sign.

Imagine me screaming at the top of my lungs on the Shake Shack sign. Yeah, you just come down on the Shake Shack sign. Imagine me screaming at the top of my lungs on the Shake Shack sign. Phantom. But they weren't scared. They weren't scared. They were too busy Viking opening up their relationships Okay, sorry, sorry, okay, okay Sorry, sorry, sorry You must be devastated to have Westfield abandon the mall like this It's impossible Yeah, I'm gonna have to do a lot of traveling, John.

The mall we had till now is at an end. So what happens to you now? Where do you go from here? Well, my years of appearing to people in the mirror at Aldo are over, John. Can't blame them. The whole goddamn city is down the toilet. And I should know. I live in the sewer. Phantoms try to dress it up. Oh, it's a cavern.

It's a catacombs. It's a literal cesspool, John. And it's still better than what's happening to downtown. The Democrats who run this city should be ashamed of themselves. Progressives have failed California! Wait a second, Phantom. These are pretty strong words for some sort of

half-supernatural musical stalker ghost or whatever you are. I take offense to that. Anyone can see how crime and drug use are killing downtown. John, just like I killed a whole Wetzel's pretzels every day for my midday snack for 30 years at the Westfield Mall. Okay, but malls everywhere are struggling for a lot of reasons. A lot of businesses have been driven out of the city by very high rents. As well it should, John. It's one of the best cities in the world, full of industry and innovation and 60-degree weather and men with good posture who don't smile.

If only we could figure out how to get rid of the undesirable element, the mall would be full again, and I could haunt it to my heart's content. There was a story on Fox the other day. Wait a second. Phantom, you watch Fox News? Oh, of course. What else would they play in the sewer, John? There's bad Wi-Fi down there. I can't listen to all those Jordan Peterson podcasts you listen to.

Unbelievable. Unbelievable. I don't think you have to be a genius to know that it's these Democrats and their woke ideology that's letting people run amok. And frankly, it's affecting my bottom line. I'm going to sell my instrument, and I'm not talking about my piano, John. I'm talking about my French horn. And my dick.

Oh, God. Come on. Come with me, John. Say you'll share with me one more, one Burke Williams let me lead you to the H&M I heard you talking about

how you don't know where to go style wise after skinny jeans are no longer allowed shadow boxing in the mirror in your green room oh I lost him on the shadow boxing shadowboxing in the mirror in your green room. Oh, I lost him on the shadowboxing. Phantom. They're all pacifists, John. Come on. They can't even bear the thought of punching the air.

Why did we try? You know the Phantom of the Opera drives the boat around? Yeah, the fog boat, yeah. I drive an e-scooter. That's cool. Why does everyone in this audience look like they could be in The National? Phantom, isn't one of the larger problems how long it takes to build things in this city, how much nimbyism there is, how much obstruction there is to actually building houses?

things in this city, how much NIMBYism there is, how much obstruction there is to actually building houses. Well, sometimes it takes time to make sure the community can be heard so that we protect the character of our city. You're a NIMBY? Phantom, you're a NIMBY?

You live in the sewer. Oh, that was the name my mother gave me. NIMBY. NIMBY. This face. It burns. My mother named me NIMBY. Of course we're NIMBYs.

Every phantom's a NIMBY, and every NIMBY is phantom. And we don't just haunt operas and malls, Jonathan. Leave it. We haunt a proposed 19-unit micro-housing development on 18th Street. We haunt a 200-bed shelter project near the Bay Bridge. We haunt wealthy suburbs by declaring them mountain lion habitats to prevent the construction of duplexes. We haunt city planners and board supervisors. We haunt comment periods and

city council meetings and town halls because we are phantoms and nimbies. And we'd rather a chandelier come crashing down on all of you than give up what's ours. We will love this city and state to death. And in our songs, we'll pretend we're the heroes. Boo. So then you just want to yell about crime and drugs and blame Democrats. You don't actually want to solve any of it. No, I do. I have a plan. I'll start haunting the tenderloin, John. You're going to haunt the unhoused people.

That's your plan. That seems like a terrible plan. That doesn't seem, that can't possibly be your solution. Well, possible. How is it possible that the Phantom's boat floats in a sea of fog? John and my e-scooter can go 30 miles per hour. How is it possible Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote that entire

musical based on one flirty convo we had before our I'm bi, John! In our enjoyable interlude in a dressing room at Saks in 1983. Saks and Cincinnati. We gotta do

all the demos. Christine! Phantom, is that your ingenue that you're obsessed with? No, it's the manager at Jamba Juice. Who used to hook me up and let me eat free orange pulp.

You know how when they juice the orange? Yeah, yeah. It's the phantom. I'd love to have, honestly, Phantom, if I could spend all night with you, I would. The phantom of the Westfield Mall, everybody. The phantom of the Westfield Mall is here inside John's mind.

One more time for Chris Fleming. Good best. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It and there's more on the way. And we're back! And we're back! Shlopping across this big, beautiful state, Muggy Airport to Muggy Airport,

I can't recommend enough seeing California the way it was meant to be seen. On a screen from the comfort of your local air-conditioned movie theater, preferably one of those theaters where you can put your feet up and eat the most mediocre flatbread pizza ever made under the watchful eye of God. Here to test your knowledge

of the Golden State at a glance, please welcome to the stage the hilarious Dylan McKeever. Hi, Dylan. Hey, John. Thanks for being here. Why does it smell like meat and bisexual sewer water out here? It smells good. Smells good.

Yeah. So, Dylan, how familiar with San Francisco would you call yourself a movie buff? I'm familiar with San Francisco, but movies, medium. I lived here for a long time, seven years, eight years, and I was born here, so back and forth, yeah. All right. Well, let's see how you do in a game we're calling California Screenin'. Cool.

Did we come up with the name before the concept? You're goddamn right we did. And we're better for it. Sorry, just still digesting some chicken made by science. I had some backstage. What'd you think? Good. I think.

I think what's cool is it's chicken. Yeah. I mean, that's hard to make chicken. Yeah. Maybe we've never played this game before. Either way, here's how it works. We're going to put up a single screenshot of a film that is set in San Francisco. I have two hints for each screenshot, should you need them. You're going to have to guess what film that screenshot is from.

Are you ready, Dylan? I'm ready. Here we go. First screenshot. Wow, that's tough. Alright, we're not getting a lot here. It's a car on a windy road. First hint, Phil Hartman has a cameo as a tour guide slash former prison guard named Vicky. Is this Bullet? No. No. First hint, Phil Hartman has a cameo as a tour guide slash former prison guard

named Vicky. Is this Bullet? No. No. Second hint, Mike Myers plays a beat poet who falls in love with a female butcher.

Oh, okay. I got this. Is this So I Married an Axe Murder? You bet it is. Gotcha, yeah. Next up. Oh, I got this one.

I used to live right up the street from here, and every time I'd pass, I'd be like, that's where Mrs. Doubtfire's films. You got it. First hint. This film contains the worst green screen I've ever seen. Do you have a second hint? You're tearing me apart, Lisa!

Yes, right, right. It's the room, for sure. It is the room. Or it's the disaster artist about the room. Either way, you got it. Thanks, thanks. Next up, we have just a beautiful shot of the Golden Gate Bridge.

Yeah, one of the best films ever made. It's Vertigo. You got it! Crushing it, Dylan. Thanks. Okay, first hint. Oh, it. Crushing it, Dylan. Thanks. Okay. First hint. Oh, yeah. Do you know this one? I think I do. First hint. Cameo from

Tom Skerritt and allusions to suicide by self-immolation. What doesn't this movie have? It looks to me like Harold and Maude. You got it. Alright. Alright. I'm feeling good. Feeling good. We've got helicopters. We've got it. Alright. Alright, I'm feeling good. Feeling good. We've got

helicopters, we've got Alcatraz. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is like a pre-9-11 movie, right? You bet. You bet. That's sort of helpful. That's a hint in and of itself, Dylan. The pronunciation of this movie's title in a Scottish accent is burned into my brain forever. Wait, let me see if I

can do it. The Rock. Yeah, you got it. First hint. Do you feel lucky, Dylan? Yeah, I feel lucky. Well, do you? I'm trying to guess what those cross streets are. That's Dirty Harry.

You got it. Okay. All right. It's an animated film. First hint, this movie features the death of a character named Bing Bong. Oh, my God. Thank you. Tears.

Just thinking about it, I'm like, tearing up. It's Inside Out. It is Inside Out. God. Bing Bong, man. I know. Bing Bong will get you. Voiced by Richard Kind I believe Is that right?

God damn Remember that show about horses on HBO Richard Kind was in that Luck and then the horses died and they stopped making it Sounds sad Anybody else remember that? Yeah well Didn't leave much of a mark

Dylan What do you think about soup in a bread bowl? I'm for it Yeah, well, didn't leave much of a mark. Done. What do you think about soup in a bread bowl? I'm for it. You think? Yeah. I don't know. What about this?

What if they made the Dutch Crunch Bowl? Has anyone done that before? What's the Dutch Crunch Bowl? The Dutch Crunch, well, a Dutch Crunch is like a bread that's a San Francisco creation, right? It's like a sweet, kind of like crunchy, cracked bread, if that makes sense. Huh. And you can think, if you get it, you can maybe put soup in it. Yeah. But they don't do that now.

I don't think anyone's tried that. I just came up with it right now. I think. Has anyone created this before? Then throw some rice-a-roni in there, too. Why not? San Francisco treat. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All three. Do you have any more questions for me, John? I ran out of questions. That's all right. Do you want to ask any personal questions? We just met. This is our first time meeting. This is our first time meeting.

Happy Pride, everyone. Happy Pride, everybody. Also, happy Trans March Friday. That's what I just came from. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know about trans, John? Also, happy Trans March Friday. That's what I just came from. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know about trans, John?

Do I know about trans? Yeah. I've heard of trans. Okay, cool. I'm loosely familiar with trans. Is there anything that you'd want to say to me about it? I just want to know if you have any questions. Not at the moment.

I'll think about it. Anything you're curious about? Thank you, Dylan. Ah, okay. Dylan will be performing at KQED's Donda Samihente on July 20th. When we come back, sharks are going to want to invest in these...

whatever they are. We'll be right back. And we right back. And we're back. Two notes. Tickets for Pod Save America's live shows this fall in Washington, D.C. and New Orleans are available right now. There are no off years in politics or political podcasts. When the important elections this year in Louisiana and Virginia will be there,

breaking down the news and helping you find ways to make an impact. We can't wait to get back out on the road. So get your tickets now at crooked.com slash events. Also, we are excited to announce that our Fuck Bans Leave Queer Kids Alone Fund has surpassed $100,000 over twice our original pride goal. Those are resources going to the Campaign for Southern Equality, the Transgender Law Center, and the Trans Justice Funding Project,

which is also where a portion of our Love It or Leave It error stores ticket sales will be going for the rest of the year. We'll also have over 1,500 contributions going to organizations and others in Florida, Missouri, Kentucky, and Tennessee. We're taking the fight to the right-wing goods attacking LGBTQ rights. Please,

please, if you can, let's keep it going at votesaveamerica.com. All right. It's now time for a game we're calling why not combinator. Here's how it works. We've come up with an app or startup for each of us to pitch to the audience as if they were the sharks on Shark Tank. And that's it. I have not seen what I'm going to get. You have not seen what you're going to get.

I truly haven't. And we're going to get a pitch, all right? And we're going to have to pitch it to the crowd. You have 30 seconds to sell whatever idea comes up. All right, let's kick it off. Dylan, you're up first. It's called Hetero, the app for people who love oral sex. No, this is somehow a real app.

The app for people who love oral sex. This is a real app. Yeah. And it's called Hetero. Yeah. Hetero? Yeah. Feels kind of exclusionary.

Okay, okay. Are we going? You have 30 seconds. Wow, I love hetero. Let me just start out saying that. We're going to put the head back in hetero. Yes.

Hetero people aren't having a lot of oral anymore, and we're bringing it back. The queer community is reintroducing giving head to the hetero community. It's a multicultural exchange. And that's so important. Yeah, we can learn a lot.

There's a lot to learn. There's a lot to learn. Great job, Dylan. Let's see what's next. Casey, it's called Burned, the chat GBTS response app for when you need an instant scorching comeback in a Slack channel or text thread.

Look, folks, we've seen your Slack messages. You're not that good at it, okay? I mean, the amount of reaction emoji you're getting per entry is just not where it should be, and it's starting to affect your job performance. You're all remote now, okay? There is no water cooler for you to impress anyone at. You need Burned. Burned

is the app that is going to write the responses for you. It's probably going to write your emails for you, okay? Get this thing into your damn life. Because with Burned, maybe you can finally advance in your career. Because let's face it, it's been a rough couple of years for you over there in remote land. So that's Burned.

Nice. I'd use it. I'd use it. I'd use it. All right, let's see who's up. Okay. It's called Bottomwear, the marketplace app for the buying and selling of used underwear.

All genders welcome. Chris, this is your pitch. All right, you ever want your mailman's panties? You ever go to the pet shop, the owner All right, you ever want your mailman's panties? You ever want, uh, you ever go to the pet shop, the owner of it, you ever want his panties? You're gonna want to go on, what is it called? Bottomwear. Bottomwear!

I'm so passionate about bottomwear that I forget the name of it. It sounds like it's for submissive people and partners to wear clothes. It's not. It's for literally anyone's panties. Sounds amazing.

It sounds amazing. Alright, yes. Let's see what's next. Boss E, a cool new software where you dictate what you want to say to your high-maintenance boss, and it translates it into the most professional version so you don't hurt his tender feelings.

This sounds like an amazing product, and I think once you try it, you're going to realize it's better than... Because here's the thing you have to understand about people. They say they want to be told what they don't want to hear. That's the thing they don't want to hear the most. What they actually want to hear is what they want to hear. That's true in politics, and it's also true, say if you help produce a podcast for a finicky small Jewish gay man.

Who has a lot of questions about how the skirts look right before he comes out on stage. Thank you. Let's do one more round. Dylan, you're up. It's DickDocs, the app for doxing people who are being dicks to you. To what end? Who knows? But we promise you'll feel better after you do it.

Okay, yeah, Dick Docs. Do you ever want revenge on someone? I think I do. I know I do. What you can do is you can doc someone with dicks. Our app sends hundreds of thousands of dicks to their email, their Instagram, everywhere. All the inboxes are full. It's just dicks all the way down.

Yeah, no holes barred. Great pitch. What a pitch are full. It's just dicks all the way down. Yeah, no holes barred. Great pitch. What a pitch from Dylan. Yeah, TikToks. Let's see what's up next. This is an app. It's just for the people at home. It's Bechdel, but without an E. It's sort of an appified version of the name. It's like

Letterboxd, but it's a shock collar that zaps you if you buy tickets for a movie with less than two women in it. So, we've all been there. We've all wanted to watch our dad get completely fucking zapped while watching a Scorsese movie. Imagine your own father wearing

this dog collar and getting 40,000 volts. Whatever happened to Timmy in Jurassic Park? Just enough to keep him alive, but get him a little frizzy. Because it's just Nicholson. It's just DiCaprio.

Sometimes Wahlberg. I feel like they edited him in and out of it. Joe Pesci might be a practical effect in it, like a puppet. Pesci might be a practical effect in it, like a puppet. All right. Great pitch. Great pitch.

For Casey, it's something called Cryptno, the map that shows you bars in your area that are frequented by crypto guys so you can avoid them. Gang, the dangers of the blockchain are everywhere, okay? You're not safe just because it's out of the headlines. You know, Ethereum may be down, Bitcoin's down, but the crypto guys are still out there, okay? And they will try to get you

into the bars and give you a couple drinks. The next thing you know, you're purchasing Doge. So to avoid that, you need this app. And, you know, just as an investor, you always want to back the team, right? These are actually the same people behind Erexon. So I don't know. Get in on the ground floor.

I love it. Get in on the ground floor from the people who brought you Erexon. All right, let's do one more. Virtumuter, a wearable necklace, and if you virtual signal, it actually decreases the volume of your voice. This is a fantastic product that everybody needs. It would be incredible. You know, basically, someone is going to go out there and say something like,

wow, like, I couldn't possibly drive a Tesla anymore. And as they say it and make a joke out of it, kind of posturing about it for weeks and weeks, their voice gets quieter and quieter and quieter until they're like, I bought a Volvo, even though that's technically owned by a Chinese company. Thank you. All right.

That is Why Not Combinator. That sounds like a Hans Christian Andersen story. That's true, and it hurts to walk, too. It's like walking on glass. Yeah, it's like walking on Christian Andersen story. That's true, and it hurts to walk, too. It's like walking on glass. Yeah, it's like walking on glass the whole time. Give it up for Dylan, Casey, and Chris. When we come back, we'll end on a high note. And we're back.

We're going to do three high notes, because once again, San Francisco, you love a loose show. So we're going to do three high notes. If again, San Francisco, you love a loose show. So we're going to do three high notes. If anybody has a high note they want to share, somebody right here in the front has one. Hi, what's your name? What's your high note? Hi, Alicia.

My high note is I work in Santa Clara County. A couple years ago, we created an awesome program called the Q Corner. That's what your Q is. So community-run support for LGBTQ plus folks. But we are about to open a gender-affirming care behavioral health clinic because fuck bands. And we're super excited. Thank you so much for sharing that. When you gave this to me, I thought it was just a gay QAnon pin.

So I'm a little disappointed that it's actually for an organization providing gender affirming care. Hi, what's your name? What is your high note? Hi, my name's Lauren. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too.

So, first of all, I wanted to say that I've had the Hot Pockets jingle stuck in my head for weeks after the oh my ass. Yeah, I'm not sorry. Or ow my ass. I remember it. I'm not sorry either. Okay, so my high note is that after unfortunately being chronically ill for the past three years, I, just this week, had my first ever normal blood pressure reading.

And I'm actually finally getting better. And it's so exciting. So happy for you. And I'm actually finally getting better. And it's so exciting. So happy for you. And I'm feeling very positive about it. So thank you. Thank you for sharing that. Does anybody want to do one more? Hi, what's your name?

What's your high note? Thank you. Hi, my name is Katie. And my high note is that about a year ago for Christmas and God, I think it's 2021, my husband and I got ourselves matching gifts. We each got each other tickets to see you. That's so nice.

And unfortunately, we decided to move out of the Bay Area during that time, and we were unable to make it, so we gifted our tickets to some friends who live in the area and so this trip to see you and everybody here has been just a wonderful homecoming back to the Bay Area and we're so happy to be here and celebrate pride with our people and our community so thank you so much. Thank you for saying that. Well, thanks everybody who shared a high note. If you want to leave us a message about something that gave you hope, call us at 323-538-2377. That is our show. Thank you so much, San Francisco,

for two incredible nights. Happy Pride. There are 500 days until the 2024 elections. Have a great Pride weekend and have a great night. Thank you. by SureSure. Thanks to our designers, Jesse McLean and Caroline Haywood for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, Zuri Ervin, David Tolles, Mia Kelman and Matt DeGroote for filming and editing video each week so you can. You can find those glorious videos

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