Lovett or Leave It - What a Weekday: A rough weekend for Biden, NATO, and the Gaylors

Episode Date: February 13, 2024

RFK Jr. apologizes for existing. Donald Trump snaps at the end of Vladimir Putin’s leash. President Biden takes his penny farthing on a damage-control press tour following the Hur report, while Taylor and Travis win the Super Bowl. Or whatever happened, we just tuned in for Usher. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast.

Do you guys see Usher? Yeah. I thought Usher was great. Take off your shirt in front of 120 million people. That's cool. Wow. That's cool. He's 45.

45. I went through and just was like, let's check everybody's ages. Let's just find out what we're working with here. Usher, 45. Alicia Keys, 43. Is it little John? I think he's in his 50s. I was like

this is this is what I want this is oh yeah we can get you up there absolutely what I want to see for the record what I want to see you want to do a live podcast halftime show just the hot yes that's what I want it's like it's so funny it's like a shirt can pull off taking off a shirt I can't pull off

having clothes on. And we're back. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Hey, first of all, before we even get to the show, if you're watching this on YouTube, I'm aware that there are people that are confused by the fact that I'm at the couch, producers and writers are at the table.

If you have another arrangement of bodies, pitch it. Yeah, tell us how you want our bodies. I'm here with Sarah, Brian, Hallie. Hi. You could lay across it like a grand piano. Kendra's on assignment. We don't know where. We genuinely don't know.

She won't tell us. Nor should she. I'm not that curious, honestly. It's none of my business. Let's get into it. What a weekday. Nice. A Superbac supporting RFK Jr.'s presidential bid spent $7 million to run a Super Bowl ad that closely resembled an ad for John F. Kennedy's campaign during his 1960 run, including its famous jingle. Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy.

Nice. I love that song. It's great. Of course, one big difference between JFK and RFK Jr. is that JFK had a brain. And we know that for a fact. We've seen it. Started out hot this week. I like that. It's a great joke, but to start off with it.

No, no, it's a tough way in for sure. We were talking about this before the show that like, man, that's what politics used to be. You just say your name over and over again with pictures of yourself. Biden and Biden and Biden and Biden. They shouldn't make an ad like that. He wins. But I do think we really need to stress the point, like, that back then he was the hottest man that a lot of people had ever seen. Like, people saw him, they're like, good Lord, men can look like that?

He's got my vote. It's like the fact that- And you're saying that's not the case for Joe Biden? Oh, no, for me, absolutely. But it's so hot. They're all so hot. the case for joe biden oh no for me absolutely but it's so hard they're all so hot that's my problem kennedy family members including bobby shriver publicly objected to the ad and rfk jr apologized saying bobby i'm so sorry if that advertisement caused you pain the ad was created and aired by the american value super pack without any involvement or approvals from my campaign.

Federal rules prohibit Super PACs from consulting with me or my staff. I send you and your family my sincerest apologies. God bless you. One problem. At the time of this recording, the offending ad is still RFK Jr.'s pinned tweet on X. Hey, I had no involvement or approval in this, but to be clear, I love it and think it rocks. It's also like, I'm sorry to your family,

and it's also my family, and I'm sorry to my family also. I just want to make sure everyone has seen this thing that I'm apologizing for, just so the apology makes sense. I just want to make sure everyone's seen it. $7 million. $7 million. makes sense. I just want to make sure everyone's seen it. Seven million dollars. Seven

million dollars. What does a 30-second ad on this show cost? It's not seven million dollars. Shoot. You could buy that bookstore in Pasadena for less than that. Damn. That's true. Six million. So there's a bookstore in Pasadena that's for six million dollars. There is? Wow. Think about

the difference in the value of a bookshop that exists for well more than 30 seconds. It's an anchor in the value of a bookshop that exists for well more than 30 seconds. It's filled with books. Those books come with it. I assume. They do. They must. I reached out. What? I reached out. You reached out about buying a bookstore in Pasadena? Yeah. Do you want to see the email? Okay. Maybe later. Yeah. Not right now. Should we set up a GoFundMe so we can buy this bookstore? Let's do it. What else are we doing? Oh, wait, sorry, this. Oh, yeah. Anyway, speaking of crackpots appealing to right wingers nostalgic for the Cold War at a rally in South Carolina on Saturday, Donald Trump said that he would encourage Russia to do whatever the hell they want to a NATO ally that hadn't

spent enough on defense. You didn't pay your delinquent. He said, yes, let's say that happened. No, I would not protect you. In fact, I would encourage them to do whatever the hell they want. You got to pay. Trump talks about America's allies like someone who's been in therapy and become a worse person as a result. Actually, don't owe my friends anything. Oh, you've been attacked by Russia.

Please don't trauma dump that on me. President Biden called Trump's NATO comments appalling and dangerous, saying in a Sunday statement, if my opponent, Donald Trump, is able to regain power, he is making it clear as day that he will abandon our NATO allies if Russia attacks. We're talking about membership dues here. It's like if you missed a rent payment and Donald Trump released a wolverine into your house, or to make it more salient to Trump's defenders, a trans wolverine. or to make it more salient to Trump's defenders, a trans Wolverine. If I ever build a time machine and I will, my first stop is Philadelphia 1787. I'll bring with me a TV and a VHS copy of Air Bud. And we're going to write down every conceivable fucked

up thing a president could do. So this shit never happens again. And we're turning some of those commas into periods and cutting a few dependent clauses while we're at it. A couple of lead poisoned beer brewers included in a side about a militia, and now you can bring a gun to Buffalo Wild Wings. That's stupid. That is stupid. Also, those S's that look like F's. Yeah, get them out of there.

Get them out of there. That's your first stop if you have a time machine? There's probably a few things we'd have to change. What? That's your first stop if you have a time machine? Yeah, that's what I said. That's my first stop. Well, I say with a time machine, you just go back in time.

It doesn't really matter which way you do first. What's your first stop, Brian? What is my first stop? Isn't that kill Hitler? I thought that's what you were going for. What'd you say? Kill Hitler? I thought you said Hillary.

I was like, no. No, that's the second stop. It's all part of my plan. I'm with her, but not how she wants it. No, I kill Hitler and then I let Hillary kill me. God, I've sent you the plan already. I know. I didn't open it.

Damn it. NATO Secretary General Jens Stoltenberg also hit back at Trump in a Sunday statement saying any suggestion that allies will not defend each other undermines all of our security, including that of the U.S., and puts American and European soldiers at increased risk. It takes some real talent to freak out this many countries at once. How many American presidential candidates have made Montenegro shit bricks? Just one. And it's the guy that confuses it with Monaco.

Nikki Haley condemned Trump on Face the Nation saying, Don't take the side of a thug who kills his opponents. Don't take the side of someone who has gone in and invaded a country and half a million people have died or been wounded because of Putin. Don't take the side of someone who continues to lie. I dealt with Russia every day. The last thing we ever want to do is side with Russia. Of course, she dealt with Russia while working in the administration of the same man she now admits is completely unfit. He was just as unfit then as he is now, and she seemed to have no problem with it at that time. But we can talk about that when she's not losing to none of the above. Other Republicans, shockingly, haven't been so critical. Senator

Lindsey Graham told reporters, give me a break. I mean, it's Trump. All I can say is while Trump was president, nobody invaded anybody, which is not true, obviously. I think the point here is to, in his way, get people to pay. Republicans are a wife at a country club dinner, perpetually one Klonopin and two glasses of wine deep, explaining how her husband is just a little rough around the edges after he called a middle-aged server honey while waving a piece of steak at her, saying, does this look medium rare to you?

Are you watching a feud? No. It's very that. Okay. Marco Rubio said on CNN's State of the Union that he has zero concern. He doesn't talk like a traditional politician. He told the story about how he used leverage to get people to step up to the plate and become more active in NATO.

I have zero concern because he's been president before. I know exactly what he has done and will do with the NATO alliance. He doesn't talk like a traditional politician, you guys. He talks like a ventriloquist dummy the devil brought to life in the Twilight Zone, which is why I, Marco Rubio, think he should be president of the United States. He's not some pointy-headed intellectual. That's the thing about Donald Trump. I mean, I don't know if you thought that he was. I did.

But he's not. Okay. I don't know what you're all so worried about. He was president for four years, and even though he threatened to pull us out of NATO on a near-constant basis, began a troop withdrawal from Germany, lied about and mismanaged one of the biggest public health emergencies in human history, celebrated when children were ripped from their parents' arms at the border, hundreds of whom were never reunited, tore at the social fabric and pushed the country into a state of permanent agitation and discussion, led his CPAP shock troops to storm the Capitol. It was fine. Nothing that bad happened to me. Can I ask a

question? Because I'm not a savvy political operator. Sure. Why would he go on TV and do like Kent? No one's if he didn't talk, no one be like, what does Marco Rubio think? So what does he gain by doing this? I really don't know. I actually find it confusing. I don't know what his goal was in going on the show. I also don't know why. I mean, I understand why he decided to endorse Donald Trump. I think it was either just before, I think it was just before the Iowa caucus, because if you're not doing it early, you're not doing late.

And if you're going to do it anyway, get the credit for having done it. I don't understand his motivation yeah like i get endorsing him but like rubbers you don't have to vocally rubber stamp everything like he's not keeping track does he want to be vice president i mean yeah i think he i think like he thinks of himself as being on the vice presidential shortlist so he probably is a defender is this true that the president vice president can't be from the same state yes so it So it's very true. And it's pretty clear cut. And they're both from Florida. So that's a huge problem.

But is it residency or like from? I don't I think it is like you can't be from. I think you can't be citizens of the same. You can't file taxes. I think like you can't be from the same states. And so, I mean, look, the insurrection, the insurrection clause is also, I think, pretty straightforward. I have my qualms about that.

But maybe there's some way they think he can get around it. But yeah, I think he wants to be vice president. I also think he's probably on some level convinced himself of this, right? Like, oh, this is the media going wild again. He's telling a story about something he claims to have said years ago. So it doesn't really change anything. This is who he is. He kind of he's in a kind of boorish way, making the point that he wants European countries to spend more on NATO. And Trump clearly did some cleanup of this because somebody in his campaign gave him a cattle prod and a true social saying, I want NATO to be strong.

Some version of that. Anyway, the Kremlin declined to address Trump's remarks. The Kremlin spokesperson, Dmitry Peskov, telling reporters, I am still Putin's secretary, but not Trump's, continued Peskov. Also, I believe the Harry and David's gift basket we sent him speaks louder than words. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back before we get to the rest of this week's so far wondrous news. Love It or Leave It will be coming to Washington, D.C. on April 25th for a show at the Lincoln Theater. Go to cricket.com slash events to grab your tickets now.

They are selling pretty fast, I gotta say. Gonna be some good guests. And we have some good guests. Yeah. Secret, though. Secret good guests. We have a new high note submission system as well because we've... We can't figure out the phone. We can't figure out the old system. It's over. So if you submitted a high note in between the

show where we asked you to call that number and the show where we said to stop calling that number, those are lost to time. Those are... High note heaven. In the base of the part of the pyramid we can't access. We buried them as a time capsule. Yeah, they'll just, they'll be there for the future generations when they unlock that Gmail inbox and we figure out what's going on in there. Aww.

I'm happy they're engaged. Send a voice memo to lowly high notes. Why is it a Gmail and not a Crooked? That was the whole issue that we couldn't set up with a work email. Yeah. Also, you know we don't know. I have to ask couldn't set up with a work email yeah also you know we don't know the three of us have to ask permission to set up a crooked email and i get you set up a gmail

lowly high notes at gmail.com l-o-l-i high notes at gmail.com or if you're a friend of the pod subscriber you have the exclusive ability to leave us your high notes without the hassle of a call or email you can head to friends of the pod discord and post a comment or voice memo in the love it or leave it channel or high nose channel. And maybe you'll hear it on the show. What? What a perk. Yeah.

It's just so hard to send an email. Shut up. Speaking of weak defenses. Oh my God. That was a transition between, we can't put the, we wrote a whole transition. So just so previously from before the break, we were talking about NATO defenses. Just reminding everybody. They'll remember.

They just saw it. And speaking of weak defenses, the fallout has continued since special counsel Robert Herr released his nearly 400 page report. We're doing great. Yeah, I'm having fun. I'm crying, but it's the style that while President Biden should not be charged for possessing classified documents after he left the White House in 2017, he should have a very, very shitty weekend dealing with the conclusions in the report. For example, her rights. We have also considered that at trial,

Mr. Biden would likely present himself to a jury, as he did during our interview of him as a sympathetic, well-meaning elderly man with a poor memory. Hey, these sound like insults, cried President Biden. White House officials and the president's allies leapt to defend him to the press, calling the report a partisan hit job. Biden also defended himself, but it was less of a leap and more of a kind of careful, careful rise.

President Biden lost his temper after one reporter asked a pointed question. While many American people have been watching and they have expressed concerns about your age. That is your judgment. That is your judgment. Oh, he looks so spry. I love I love to see Biden aggressively fighting back against the report's accusation that he's sympathetic and well-meaning. Now on to the age one.

Is it a finger wag if you do it at this pace? Yeah, sure. Sure. It just works different muscles. You do them slow, then fast, then slow. You know? Yeah. Said Vice President Kamala Harris on Friday, the way the president's demeanor in that report was characterized could not be more wrong on the facts and clearly politically motivated.

Gratuitous, continued Harris, unless this looks bad enough to kick him off the ticket. And then I have a story about him forgetting what 9-11 was that'll make your blood run ice cold oh the shit she must have heard yeah maybe maybe she doesn't remember though I have to believe her inner monologue is so loud

that she really can't hear what's going on oh yeah it's a jet engine in there 24-7 What is the line from the song Old enough to know and young enough to do Kamala, Kamala, Kamala Kamala, Kamala, Kamala On Monday, Biden alluded to the report With a joke about his age and memory

At a White House event for the National Association of Counties. I know I don't look like it, but I've been around a while. I do remember that. The one thing he does remember, death is just around the corner. National Association of Counties. I know. Just so many organizations. that's just what the country is the national association of counties yeah that's what america is in a sense a national

association of counties i national association of counties like as a speechwriter there are just these events that you have to do speeches for when the mayors come to town or the national association of counties or you know those kinds of events. A big NACO speech. And it's just like there's some part of it where you're doing whatever message you're doing, and then there's a part where you have to say some version of the same thing you say, which is, as leaders at the county level, you understand this, because you're where the rubber meets the road. When you're working at the county level,

you know that you can't hide from the problems that your constituents face every single day. You can't hide when the snow needs to be cleared and the garbage needs to be picked up. You understand what's going on on the ground. That's why I so value the relationship I have with America's county executives. You know? But isn't that like the one thing? If I worked for the county, I'd be like, thank you for saying that. This is actually very

hard the snow is a huge problem for sure no they need it they need it they need it everyone needs a pep talk from the president to them once in their lifetime i like whenever we hit the road and like someone is like on their like school board or like their county seat and they're like the week i've had man like i have been in so many meetings about this railway and it's not going anywhere. What do you recommend? And you're like, I don't know. I have a podcast. Yeah, don't ask me.

What's your high note? Don't say it's coming to this show. Yeah, let me just also take a moment to remind everyone that the fact that Los Angeles is one of the nation's biggest cities in the nation's largest county is completely stupid. And we should not have a city with five million people as part of a county with 10 million

people that that organizational structure makes absolutely no sense. And Ohio has roughly the same number of people as Los Angeles County. And Ohio has a governor, a legislature. And Los Angeles has a board of supervisors of like five people making decisions like a star chamber. And I'm not a fan of that. Okay. LA too big. LA too big. LA too big. Anyway, death is just around the corner. Yeah. And thank God. Which is why we should all live like there's no tomorrow and play like Taylor is watching. This Sunday, the Kansas City Chiefs won the Super Bowl, beating the San Francisco 49ers. When you hit Super Bowl, your mouth said any of those words.

I don't know what is coming out. It's 49ers. 49ers. 25 to 22. You know that draft of a speech for Nixon to deliver if the astronauts died on the moon? I wonder how long we'll have to wait for the National Archives to release the statement Taylor would have made breaking up with Travis if he hadn't brought home the trophy. To be read, it just says on the top, to be read in the event of football disaster. That's what the speech says at the top, right? To be read in the event of moon disaster.

I think it's called in event of moon disaster. In event of moon disaster. Gotta use a little code. It's so beautiful. It's beautiful. It's also very specific. We were looking at it before this record, and I forgot that it is a specific draft of a speech that is not about what would happen if the mission failed completely, but specifically what would happen if Michael Collins was alive. Oh, no.

In orbit, and Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin died on the surface. It is specifically about the lander to take. Right. If the lander couldn't get them back off and they were slowly running out of oxygen while on the moon's surface. They decided all the ways that could go wrong. That was the most likely one. I think they just I don't I feel like it was a it was one that they wanted to be prepared for because it was a it was one in which the world would be watching and aware that these two men were going to die before they were dead.

And it is, I have to say, the most beautiful text ever written to describe slowly running out of air and it becoming a frozen husk while on the surface of our only moon. It's not not like the submersible. It's not not like the submersible. But in the end, in reality,

the submersible just went... Yeah. I would have liked a speech about it, though. It's not too late. You're right. In the event of submersible disaster. I'm glad the whole world wasn't watching the submersible unfold like it was the moon landing, because it was not.

It does feel like they picked that scenario because they're like, what would be the biggest bummer? We should at least have that prepared. Like the one that's like, oh, that would be bad. We'll just prepare that. Also, if cameras were on the submersible, the world would have been watching. For sure. Yeah. For sure. But luckily they didn't work. If there were,

I'm sure they wouldn't be controlled. Like a dimmer switch or something. It's like the high note voicemail. It's like, how did we get here? Yes, the world too did not only to enjoy the game, but to watch America's sweetheart Taylor Swift cheer on her man, Chief's tight end, Travis Kelsey. When asked what he plans to do after the game, Kelsey told reporters, I'm going to Disneyland right after my debrief at the Pentagon. Ahead of the game,

conservatives whipped themselves into a frenzy for weeks, calling T-Swift a psy-op, presumably to get President Biden reelected in the fall. The rumors rose to such a fever pitch, Deputy Pentagon Press Secretary Sabrina Singh had to address them publicly, telling Politico, we know all too well the dangers of conspiracy theories. So to set the record straight, Taylor Swift is not part of a DOD psychological operation. The Pentagon continued, there was nothing psychological about her mission to kill Antonin Scalia. Pure wet works. After the win, Taylor and Travis ran into each other's arms and smooched on the sidelines. I know we want to talk about football right now, but as I look at Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift, After the win, Taylor and Travis ran into each other's arms and smooched on the sidelines.

I know we want to talk about football right now, but as I look at Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift, we've been talking about the relationship all year long. And that's love. No, it's Kels. And that's Kels. Wait. Yeah. Is? It's Kels.

It's not Travis Kelsey? Nope. It's too late now. Yeah, you're right. Meanwhile, the Biden campaign riffed on the conspiracy theory, tweeting a photo of Dark Brandon with a caption just like we drew it up. It's strange to think that the conspiracy theorists believe that Joe Biden is an all-powerful string puller and complete and total command of every facet of our society, except politics. He's running juries in Manhattan. He's controlling who wins the Super Bowl, but he can't pass a border bill.

In perhaps the weirdest commercial of the night, a group called He Gets Us ran a spot about Jesus and foot washing. The worlds collided and they could never tear us apart. Wow, I'm going to convert to Christianity, said a fully erect Quentin Tarantino. Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Tom Brady, and J-Lo appeared in a Dunkin' ad in which the Boston Boys form a boy band

called Dunkings. Dunkings! Don't, don't go away, my heart. Why you dunkin' me, girl? Why you dunkin'? Dunkings! My heart. How do you like them donuts?

I'm so sorry. Time to park the car in the garage, close the door, and run the motor. I was like, we used to have stars in this town. And finally, the skincare brand CeraVe ran an ad featuring an endorsement from Michael Cera, finally resolving the mystery of why Cera was spotted hauling around giant bags of lotion. The giant bags of lotion were for an ad, and not, as many assumed, for convulsive masturbation.

We've done it again. We did it. And that's our show. Thank you to Sarah. Thank you to Hallie. Thank you to Brian. See you sluts on Saturday. Bye, sluts. Thank you. Love it or leave it. It's love it or leave it. Straight Shoot Time.

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And Milo Kim is our videographer. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure. Thanks to our designer, Bernardo Serna, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, Zuri Ervin, David Tolt, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroat for filming and editing video each week so you can.

It's love it or leave it. But I love seeing hot people in their 40s. Me too. Being hot. Hey, it's inspirational. Yeah. And Hosh got married after the game. Yeah.

That's awesome. What a cool day for him. Yeah. You'll do that too. Don't worry. Why has this been turned off? I didn't say anything about wanting it to be me. It will one day.

Stop doing that. No, I think you can. This sucks.