Lovett or Leave It - What a Weekday: Biden Strikes Back
Episode Date: March 12, 2024Who's with Hur? No one, as Congress interrogates DOJ's report on Biden's record keeping and age. Biden swaps insults with Trump. Trump swaps compliments with Victor Orbán . J. Robert Oppenheimer cele...brates his seven Oscars in hell. And Kate Middleton’s gone missing and the only person who can find her is… well, not us, that’s for sure. That’s for damn sure. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I finished The Holdovers last night.
Oh yeah, what do you think?
It was so sweet.
I really liked it.
Yeah.
Really good movie.
Made me really happy.
Yeah.
I also finally finished it this weekend.
It didn't do any of the...
I was like, there were moments where I was like, oh no, and it didn't do anything.
It was just a nice, simple movie with a nice, simple story that was just like, no big parts,
just well acted.
Yeah.
But I do think having now seen it that Paul Giamatti should have absolutely won.
I agree. It's nice. I agree. And Cillian Murphy should not have won. But I do think having now seen it that Paul Giamatti Should have absolutely won And
Killian Murphy should not have won
And we're back
I am here with Kendra
Halle
Sarah
Let's check in it I am here with Kendra, Hallie, Sarah.
Check at it.
Hello.
Tuesday.
You bet. That's exactly what it is.
Let's get into it.
What a weekday.
Nice.
The general election kicked off in earnest over the weekend with President Biden and Donald Trump holding dueling rallies in Georgia on Saturday night.
Donald Trump has a different constituency.
Here's a guy who's kicking off his general election campaign on the road up with Marjorie
Taylor Greene. He can tell you a lot about a person who he keeps company with.
Finally, a clue about what sort of person Donald Trump is. Also on Saturday, Biden's campaign
announced a $30 million general election advertising campaign and released the first ad of that new phase, which opens by acknowledging
concerns about Biden's age. Look, I'm not a young guy. That's no secret. But here's the deal.
I understand how to get things done for the American people.
It's always good to be direct about your biggest liability. Confront it head on. That's why I lead with a swimsuit pic on my Raya profile.
Come on.
Other options for that were all the trash in my car and my Myers-Briggs results.
Just a lot of options.
Yeah.
That was better than we didn't we didn't end up talking about it.
But that was at least better than that State of the Union thing that they released with all the presidents from the television.
That was tough. But we're not talking about that anymore because Biden's back, baby.
Biden's high energy State of the Union performance helped put some of those concerns about his age to rest.
New York Times columnist Ezra Klein, who last month sounded the alarm about Biden not being up to running again,
published a new op ed on Sunday titled Fine Call it a Comeback.
He got Ezra back, baby. And Ezra's content is the tip of the spear
for one of Biden's most important constituencies,
elder millennials who know where their birth certificate
and social security card is.
And they have a lot of opinions about Trader Joe's.
The kind of people who read Infinite Just in college
and know that people do cocaine, but have never seen it.
Dweebs.
Dweebs.
Rode Klein, if the Joe Biden who showed up
to deliver the State of the Union address last week is the Joe Biden who shows up for the rest of the campaign,
you're not going to have any more of those weak-kneed pundits suggesting he's not up to running for reelection.
Here's hoping he does.
All respect to Ezra, but this is too important to be passive about.
We all need to stop hoping and start mailing our spare amphetamines to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
Yes, Biden's energetic presentation at the State of
the Union and at his rallies has led conservatives to transition from too old to too high. Sean
Hannity, for example, called him jacked up Joe. And I hope he is jacked up. This is his last bite.
I hope his doctors have the same attitude as a football coach in the 1960s before everybody saw
how fucked up Johnny Unitas was. Inject the knees with steroids, get him on Provigil, Oxycontin,
the Spice Melange, whatever. Winning is all that matters. There is no next year.
Run Joe Biden like he's the horse at the end of True Grit.
Joe Biden's going to win the Tour de France this year.
Yeah. Let's get Joe Biden on a bicycle.
Actually, maybe not.
Yeah, no, no, no bicycles. No bicycles.
He's going to win it on foot.
Yeah.
A CNN poll found that 65% of Americans who watched the State of the Union had a positive reaction.
That 65% includes two types of viewers, the ones who tune into politics like normal people,
wanting to see what the president proposes and curious about how he'd perform given age concerns.
And then there's the freaks like us, watching in the hopes that he'd wow the normies.
And we all had a great night.
I was here.
Sarah was here.
At the office. Was it thrilling? It was here sarah was here at the office was it thrilling
it was fine was the food good it was actually shout out to ben the office manager shout out ben
shout out ben who is uh constantly just one thing that's very funny about just ordering food for
crooked media is there is a cold war between the vegans and vegetarians and the meat
eaters. As there should be. And we're winning, baby. Yes, playing out. Yes, the vegans are
winning, playing out in the ratio of vegan options to non-vegan options to the point at which there
was a chicken that got through and everyone was pretty excited that there was a chicken,
a chicken option. Because here's the thing. Everyone can eat the vegan things.
You guys have no limitations.
They might not want to, but they can.
I mean, some of us are allergic to soy.
Okay, well.
Take that, vegans.
I mean, we could all just eat rice.
And vegetables.
But I'm just saying that, of course, we could all choose one collective ingredient.
We could remove ingredients like an allergy-restricted diet until we're down to one food item. Like we could remove ingredients like an allergy restricted diet
until we're down to one food item.
It just would be less pleasant.
You got five things.
One of them is meat.
You can eat five things.
I can eat four things.
And the other four are beans.
And again, and I, listen, I'm not, yes.
And I hope that that's what happens.
I hope that you get four things
and we get one thing.
You get five things. I don't really feel like I get five things get one thing. You get five things.
I don't really feel like I get five things.
It doesn't feel like five things.
OK, well, that's your feeling.
Anyway, shout out to Ben.
Biden's speech also goosed the number of viewers who believe the country is heading in the right direction from 45 percent before the speech up to 62% after, which is a huge relief as long as you don't think too much about the fact that polling on this question can swing by a psychotically large 70% after a single
speech. There's also a caveat to this numbers, which is that 65% of viewers with a positive
reaction to the state of the union is actually the lowest number in a few decades. But there's
a caveat to this caveat because usually a large majority of people who watch the state of the
union support the president to begin with.
You kind of watch the it's like a home team thing.
But this year, viewers were less aligned with Biden than the norm, maybe because more people
tuned in to see how we do, given concerns about his age.
And he did well.
Like it's the it's like the Westminster dog show, whether the dogs are cute or they tear
a judge's throat out.
Either way, you're watching, you know.
Meanwhile, as Biden spent the week arguing for democracy,
his opponent went the other way,
hosting Hungarians autocratic leader Viktor Orban
for a meeting at Mar-a-Lago.
Trump said this of Orban.
He's a non-controversial figure
because he said this is the way it's gonna be
and that's the end of it, right?
He's the boss.
I didn't know he was a great leader.
It's amazing how non-controversial you become
when you start arresting anyone who disagrees with you.
If people think they'll get in trouble for not telling the truth,
they suddenly have a much kinder opinion.
But thankfully, that's not an issue at Crooked Media
where everyone agrees I'm the greatest boss in the world.
You bet, boss.
Woo!
So much enthusiasm from the back.
I'm getting paid. I'm getting paid.
I'm getting paid.
The engineer's freaking out. Charlotte's raising the roof for me. I got a hand from Delon.
That's right. That's right. Orban then said in a Sunday interview that Trump told him Trump would
cut off funding to Ukraine if he returns to power. To be fair, he said that to everyone who stood
next to him at those fancy urinals carved out of ice. Pure class at the Lago. I'm telling you. Trump also spent the
weekend in Rome, Georgia, mocking Biden's stutter. I'm going to bring the country together.
I'm going to bring it together. Forget Biden's disorder. What about disorder?
The order that Trump owes $400 million. Hell yeah.
You got it.
You piece of shit.
Yeah.
Got him.
We got him.
Trump also ranted extensively about Fulton County District Attorney Fonny Willis.
So corrupt Fonny Willis hired her lover, Nathan Wade, so they could fraudulently make money together.
Let's make money, darling.
Let's see, who can we go after?
Well, if we go after somebody that nobody ever heard of, we can't make much.
I got an idea.
Let's do what Joe Biden and everybody else want.
Let's go after Trump.
And we did nothing wrong.
Perfect phone call.
I just want to remind everybody,
there are millions of people out there,
millions and millions of people out there, millions and
millions of people who listen to this and think, yes, I like this.
This is my person.
Some of them are your neighbors, maybe even your parents.
Most of them drive cars on the roads with your kids.
Just something fun to think about.
I also, the idea, if you just play this out.
If you just play this out.
So Fannie Willis goes to law school, becomes a lawyer, works her way up to becoming the district attorney of Fulton County, launches an investigation into former President Donald Trump, produces a vast racketeering indictment so that she could go on a free trip to Belize. Yeah, let's offer
that trip to Napa. Well, you know what they say,
black women, we have to work twice as hard to get half as much.
So. Okay.
Yep. And that's
one way to think about it.
It's hard to hear him say lover, too.
Yeah. He loves
lover. That's what he said about the...
Lover. I will say, it is a surprising
number of people
fucking while they go after Donald Trump because they're also the other.
Who was the last couple that he called the lovers? Oh, the texting lovers. Yeah.
So who were they? Stroke and someone else. They were lovers. He has a nickname for her,
but I forget what it is. Well, anyway, it's part of his repertoire. Trump continued with this.
And they traveled all over the world together.
Isn't that romantic?
Is anybody, I mean, it's sort of a beautiful love story.
These are beautiful people.
To me, it's a magnificent love story.
Nothing, like Gone with the Winds.
You know, Gone with the Wind,
you're not allowed to watch it anymore, right?
You know that, right?
It's politically incorrect to watch Gone with the winds, you know, gone with the wind. You're not allowed to watch it anymore, right? You know that it's politically incorrect to watch gone with the wind.
Truly incredible to watch his mind work.
Just ricocheting.
First of all, there's zero chance that Donald Trump has ever sat through all four hours
of gone with the wind, which, by the way, is not a beautiful love story.
No, no, that's not what that movie is.
David was, but...
He couldn't make it through four hours of Gone with the Wind.
He couldn't make it through four minutes of his own Fonny Willis grievances without getting bored and pivoting to woke.
It is a lot.
Just like Gone with the Wind.
Ah, they're trying to cancel Gone with the Wind.
People loved it.
He has like three grooves in his brain and everything eventually falls into one of those grooves.
in his brain and everything eventually falls into one of those grooves.
Like how the width of train tracks was determined by the width of the chariots in ancient Rome.
Exactly.
And his brain formed specific grooves by reading the New York Post in like the 1980s. And those grooves are the only grooves that the news can fit into.
They just get deeper and deeper.
Deeper and deeper and deeper.
America's grooves.
Hey, Trump's got his
grooves back. Make American grooves again. But Trump wasn't done laying out his crisp,
tight reelection message on Monday in his first interview since the State of the Union. Trump
suggested he is open to cutting Medicare and Social Security once in office. So first of all,
there is a lot you can do in terms of entitlements, in terms of cutting, and in terms of also
the theft and the bad management of entitlements, tremendous bad management of entitlements.
There's tremendous amounts of things and numbers of things you can do.
So first of all, there's a lot you can do in terms of cutting.
It's also the worst thing you can hear a surgeon say right before they put you under.
Biden jumped on the comments. Many of my Republican friends want to put Social Security
and Medicare back on the chalking block again. If anyone tries to cut Social Security and Medicare
or raise retirement age again, I will stop them. Working people built this country.
Biden continued, raising the retirement age is why I'm
stuck running again. Do you think I want this? No, I want to be home in Delaware feeding my baby
monster commander. Fresh cuts of age in me. But look at us now. I'm stuck doing an office job
and commander is biting whatever he can find, my poor baby. The only way to protect the retirement
age is to keep this old man working until he's 86 years old. It's counterintuitive, but so is
swimming parallel to the beach. You get caught in a riptide.
Things get weird in an emergency.
Biden then went directly after Trump over his comments.
Even this morning, Donald Trump said,
cuts to Social Security and Medicare
are on the table again.
But the bottom line is, he's still at it.
I'm never gonna allow that to happen.
I won't cut Social Security.
I won't cut Medicare.
I love it when it's this easy.
My opponent has said that he would take your beloved family dog
outside and gut him like a fish. As president, I will not do that.
And on Tuesday, the battle between Trump and Biden spread to the House Judiciary Committee
as former special counsel Robert Herr testified about his DOJ report released last month in which
he declined to prosecute President Biden for having classified documents in his Delaware residence
while also taking a scenic detour in order to say that a jury might see
Biden sympathetically as an elderly man with a poor memory.
Her testimony will hopefully and finally answer the question, is it a violation of DOJ ethics
to be a snarky little bitch?
I also don't know about this assessment with juries anyhow.
Have you seen how we treat old people?
A jury would probably snap at him in a Jamba Juice for not knowing how to say acai in order to ask
what acai is. Hurd defended his depiction of Biden's overall mental state, saying his October
interview with the president sparked his comments in the report. The evidence and the president
himself put his memory squarely at issue. We interviewed the president and asked him about
his recorded statement. Quote, I just found
all the classified stuff downstairs, end quote. He told us that he didn't remember saying that to
his ghostwriter. He also said he didn't remember finding any classified material in his home after
his vice presidency. And he didn't remember anything about how classified documents about Afghanistan made their way into
his garage. Oh, like you remember how everything in your garage wound up there. I remember coiling
up this old hose like it was yesterday. I'll never forget the morning I shoved that yoga mat back
there among the rakes. It was a Sunday and absolutely nothing of note happened. This is
going to be a very hard sell to anyone that's had to clean out a family member's home after they died. Who knows what's in America's garages? I could have Amelia Earhart's
bones in mind for all I know. Vanessa Hudgens grabbed my hands and said the only condition
for letting me live in this house is you cannot open the cellar door. And you never have. And I
never have and I never will. I went to my storage unit this weekend for the first time in like a
year. Your storage unit, all I picture, it is a beautiful painting in front of me which is the storage unit from silence of the lamps
and we open that thing and it's fucking mannequin heads and american flags
just wild in that i believe oh yes in that one yep um yeah there's some americana in there i bet
there is i bet there is but there is star is. I bet there is. Star Trek stuff? No, the Star
Trek stuff is in the apartment. Well, that makes sense. That stands for you. Okay. Adam Schiff
later asked her to cut the shit. You don't gratuitously do things to prejudice the subject
of an investigation when you're declining to prosecute. You don't gratuitously add language
that you know will be useful in a political campaign.
You were not born yesterday. You understood exactly what you were doing. It was a choice.
You certainly didn't have to include that language. Born yesterday or born evil,
the two great American political parties. Of course, this assumes any of us have free will
and that our actions aren't inevitably determined by prior events in the material circumstances in
which we find ourselves. But yeah, assuming that, here's a piece of shit.
Republicans were pissed that the DOJ released the Biden interview transcripts ahead of the hearing
as it actually contained a much more nuanced depiction of Biden's memory.
We've only had a little bit of time to look. I don't think it serves this process well for the
Justice Department to dump these transcripts into the public right now. If they were going
to be released, they should have been released at a proper time.
Hey, man, we need at least a day
to go through a long document
and figure out how we're going to lie about it.
I know we make it look easy,
but actually being a propagandist
for a Floridian goon squad takes a fair amount of work.
But as Congressman Eric Swalwell pointed out,
some of the more flattering exchanges
from the Biden interview
somehow never made it into her report.
You said to President Biden, you have appear to have a photographic
understanding and recall of the House. Did you say that to President Biden?
Those words do appear on page 47 of the transcript. Photographic is what you said. Is that right?
appear on page 47 of the transcript. Photographic is what you said. Is that right?
That word does appear on page 47 of the transcript. Never appeared in your report,
though. Is that correct? The word photographic? That does not appear in my report.
The president remembers his own house. Gentlemen, I rest my case. It is pretty damning to have a generalized statement that says Biden doesn't have a good memory and then put in your report
that there are moments where you think you are you are remarking upon his excellent photographic
recall. It's almost like maybe he's not being totally honest or something.
It seems like this guy might have some kind of agenda.
Yeah, he does. And he hired some kind of right wing lawyer. I don't know. This doesn't seem to
be on the level. I don't know about all this. Anyway, speaking of members of the silent generation exercising incredible power over the planet,
Oppenheimer dominated the Academy Awards this weekend, taking home seven Oscars, including Best Picture.
If J. Robert Oppenheimer were alive to see this, I believe he'd say, I am become honored receiver of accolades.
It's too bad that now no one will get to hear my Floppenheimer joke, which you have now all just heard.
Never mind.
Hell yeah.
Robert Downey Jr. also won for Oppenheimer and thanked his terrible childhood as he accepted his best supporting actor Oscar.
This is why we do this, said a mother applying makeup with a hand that is also holding car keys on the face of a wailing child sitting on the counter of a bathroom in the Bob's Big Boy next to the Warner Brothers lot in Burbank. I think there's something about the makeup with
the keys in your hand that kind of expresses the chaotic nature and terrible. They're late and
there's just stuff happening. And that is happening somewhere right now. Oh, yeah.
And soon they'll be a star. We'll know their name. Jonathan Glazer was the only winner to
address the war in Gaza directly
during his acceptance speech for Zone of Interest's Best International Feature.
Right now we stand here as men who refute their Jewishness
and the Holocaust being hijacked by an occupation
which has led to conflict for so many innocent people.
Whether the victims of October the...
Whether the victims of October the 7th in Israel or the ongoing attack on Gaza, all the victims of this dehumanization.
How do we resist?
I didn't understand why I completely knew John Saina was standing next to him, but I agree 1000 percent.
The I guess people took out the part he said.
He said, we stand here as men who refute their
jewishness being hijacked but people took it as refuting the jewishness but it was very clearly
about not wanting jewishness to be hijacked in the name of netanyahu's war okay you can't just
take the first half of a sentence and change the whole right it's the same playbook as republicans
unfortunately it's just sort of like,
we'll have a semantic argument
about how the sentence was structured
rather than the sentiment he's expressing.
But the sentence was actually structured
completely correctly.
Oh, sure, sure.
It's just like,
the only way to argue with what he's saying
is to make it a semantic argument
because you can't argue with what he's saying morally.
And before Al Pacino announced Best Picture,
Jimmy Kimmel read Donald Trump's review of his hosting gig because Donald Trump apparently watched or at least took in a fair amount of the Oscars and then decided he was going to make fun of Jimmy Kimmel and George Stephanopoulos.
I was told we have like an extra minute and I'm really proud of something.
I was wondering if I could share it with you.
I just got a review and...
Has there ever been a worse host than Jimmy Kimmel at the Oscars?
His opening was that of a less-than-average person
trying too hard to be something which he is not and never can be.
Get rid of Kimmel and perhaps replace him with another washed up but cheap ABC talent,
George Slopinopoulos.
He would make everybody on stage look bigger, stronger, and more glamorous.
Blah, blah, blah.
Make America great again.
Okay, now.
See if you can guess which former president just posted that on Twitter.
Anyone? No?
Well, thank you, President Trump.
Thank you for watching. I'm surprised you're still watching.
Isn't it past your jail time?
It's funny, but I'm not laughing until that guy dies in prison.
Then I'm laughing. I'm talking about Jimmy Kimmel.
I really am.
We were talking about this yesterday on Pod Save America, which is that George Slopinopoulos is so stupid, but it's excellent.
It's so funny.
It doesn't mean anything.
It's not smart.
It doesn't make a point.
It's nothing.
Also just a stray for George Stephanopoulos.
No, because George Stephanopoulos did a mean interview because he didn't like the moment George Stephanopoulos had with Nancy Mace.
It's all because he's been sitting in his house stewing and watching TV all day.
Yeah, got it.
George Slopinopoulos would just be a great thing to call someone whose desk is messy.
George Slopinopoulos.
Hell yeah.
I'm going to save that one for myself.
Hey, don't go anywhere.
There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.
But this week hasn't just been about American drama.
Ahead of the holidays,
Kate Middleton, a princess,
announced she'd been having,
sorry,
she announced she'd be having
abdominal surgery on January 16th
and has yet to step back
into public life,
her absence sparking an explosion of conspiracy theories about her whereabouts.
And as someone who will cite a cold from February to get out of a dinner in May,
my hat is off to her.
It does like put everything else aside.
As of right now, it just sounds like this is a person who had a serious surgery of some
kind and doesn't want to be in public.
And people have lost their fucking minds.
That's a truly unhinged speculation.
Here's where I think our investigative priorities need to be moving forward.
One, why are all the airplanes broken?
Two, what's up with the Russian space news?
Three, does Ozempic make your butt fall off if you take it for more than a year?
I'd like to know the answer to that.
That's important.
I think that's important.
And then this thing with the princess.
Yeah, this is a good four.
The conspiracy theorist put some points on the board when the palace posted a photo of Middleton with her three children.
However, internet sleuths quickly determined that the photo had been digitally altered.
And it was at this point that I was forced to ask the Love It or Leave It team with a heavy heart,
Oi, what's all this then?
This is also when I, I for the very longest time had just been like,
this is a woman, we know that she had three very, very tough pregnancies.
And I thought that she was having a hysterectomy.
That's where I was.
They said abdominal surgery.
I took that as fact.
My problem now is, and I don't believe any of like the crazy, crazy stuff.
But my problem with all of this is that Kensington Palace is the only source for any of this information.
And they release, we know that they lie.
We know for a fact that has been documented.
We know they lied when William had a terrible COVID case back in 2020.
They told us he was not sick at all.
We know that's fake.
If you read The Spare, which y'all made me read for this program, we know that it is Harry and Meghan claim that they lie all the time and they
release information as it benefits them. And you can't fact check any of the information because
the only way to fact check is to go back to Kensington Palace and then Kensington Palace
will say, we have released the information that we're going to release. Yeah. We don't know what it is. We don't know what's going on. Like these this is a this is all this is a very famous, very wealthy family with the imprimatur of a government behaving like like any hyper wealthy people that want to not talk about something that's going on in their lives. And the fact that it is connected to a government in some ridiculous way lends it this kind of importance and air of significance. But basically what we
have are some rich people bumbling through a PR crisis trying to keep a secret. We just don't
know what the secret is. And until we do, I don't like, you know, there's all these people saying
all these like, oh, they're getting divorced. There's an affair. There's this. There's that.
Like. Maybe they're not handling it correctly,
but certainly they are aware that time will continue to pass, right? There are people out
there who are putting forward conspiracy theories that would require somehow for this woman to never
be in public again. So I think Easter, if we're taking kensington palace at their word and we are is the moment
where you can really actually then start to cross the rubicon where she'll rise again well that is
what they have claimed that that is after easter is when we will start seeing her publicly again
i just think so it would have been it would have gone so far for them to just release have her if they wanted
to do a proof of life which this weird image clearly it was what they were trying to do
just like put her on camera for 10 seconds thank you for the well wishes goodbye sure but what if
she just doesn't want to because she feels like unhappy and sad because she feels like she doesn't
look pretty because she just went through a surgery like why why is everyone jumping to why do people jump
right from this photo is altered to she's fucking dead i'm not but again i'm not there and the
reason i will refute what you just said not refute i will go back at you no refute him
saying that this is a woman again had three terrible pregnancies four hours after giving birth all of those cases, they paraded that woman out of the hospital while she was probably still bleeding into a diaper and made her stand there and take pictures holding that baby when any normal woman would like still be on her back in the hospital bed.
But again, it's like, OK, like it sounds like she's had a really hard time.
Maybe the surgery is a part of that and she just doesn't want to be in public.
And there may be and maybe there are people coming in and saying, hey, like people really
want to see.
She's like, get out of here.
Leave me alone.
I just as a rule, malevolence tends not to be the correct answer in situations like this.
The answer tends to be people bumbling and making mistakes and not getting on the same page or being afraid to say something or being afraid.
Right. Like she's she's not only a princess.
She's also the boss who said, who knows?
We just I just would like like it is obviously strange, but it's also people are strange and people behave in strange ways while also telling the truth.
I'm just impressed by how bad they are at this, at shutting down a story when the whole story of the Royal Family is them trying and failing to shut down stories.
They haven't figured this out.
Yeah, because and that's what they have been very good at that.
And that's why I'm saying, like, if they want if they wanted us to see her, we would be seeing her.
To your point, either way, on Easter, we'll know when they roll the stone away from her tomb.
And we'll see if she's still in there.
Palace watchers could tell that the photo was digitally altered because AI still can't get the fingers right.
For example, this is a picture of King Charles's fingers.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm being told that those are not AI fingers.
Those are his actual fingers.
being told that those are not AI fingers. Those are his actual fingers. And one of the many unhinged but honestly pretty convincing TikToks about the missing princess, one woman outlined
how she believed the photo is from a November 23rd visit Kate Middleton made to a children's
nonprofit with her family with the colors tweaked. I personally don't like how much energy Americans
are expending on this. We got to pick our battles. Let the limeys figure this one out.
They still have legal abortion over there. Following the release of the photo, the royal family official Twitter account posted this
message from Kate. Like many amateur photographers, I do occasionally experiment with editing.
I wanted to express my apologies for any confusion the family photograph we shared yesterday caused.
I hope everyone celebrating had a very happy Mother's Day. See, it was Mother's Day in the UK.
They celebrate it earlier because they like their moms more. How convenient.
Just your average mom and princess tinkering around on a boring Saturday with the Adobe Creative Suite.
The mystery has also reignited speculation online about Prince William's alleged affair with family friend Lady Rose Hanbury, the Marchioness of Chumley, rumors of which swirled in late 2023.
Patriots died in the Revolutionary War so that you and I would never have to care
about the Martianess of Chumlee.
Don't let those people
have died in vain.
Did you, can I ask,
let's give them a little insider.
Did you spell that out phonetically
or are you reading
how Chumlee is actually spelled?
I, before we recorded
as the professional that I am.
You're a professional.
I actually already knew
that Chalmundeli
is pronounced Chumlee.
And because that is so far, I didn't need to put it.
Like if it was closer, I would need to actually put in the phonetics.
But because that word is cuckoo bananas and I know it's Chumley, I just said Chumley.
But I did have to look up a pronunciation of Martianess.
Yeah.
Which I think I got right.
I think that's right.
During last Thursday's episode of Love It or Leave It.
Oh, before we go.
Before we go. During last Thursday's episode of Love It or Leave It. Oh, before we go.
Before we go.
During last Thursday's episode of Love It or Leave It,
we asked the eternal question,
when we're talking about 69ing,
does each number circle represent a person's head or their genitals or something else?
To me, this was obvious.
To this group of people sitting here, it was obvious.
It goes without saying that the circles are heads and the little tails are little genitals
or bodies or bodies.
Could just be a body.
Yeah.
I thought it was bodies.
Well, because sometimes you don't have the little loop, but sometimes it's just a straight
line.
That's the body.
Yeah.
As part of this controversy, we invited the team, the writers, but I'd love it or leave
it to contribute their thoughts on the matter.
These are their thoughts.
First, we have from Hallie.
You know how people on TikTok invent new slang
to try to go viral, but then they just look foolish?
That's what this is.
This is foolishness.
It's obviously the head.
I'm turning 40 this year.
This is one thing we're not going to change.
We all know what the 69 is.
It's the heads.
And I won't hear anyone else tell me differently. It's too late. This is one part of America going to change. We all know what the 69 is. It's the heads. And I won't hear anyone else
tell me differently.
It's too late.
This is one part of America
that cannot change.
So that's your view.
Echoed by Sarah Lazarus,
who said,
we will never be able
to solve climate change
if Americans can't agree
on something as basic
and indisputable
as the circles are the heads.
We can all have different opinions,
but we have to have
a shared set of facts.
Yes.
And one of those facts is
the circles are the heads.
100%.
And yet, Jossie.
One of our writers.
Fantastic writer.
Someone I used to respect.
Said this.
To me, it's as simple as tongues and holes.
What?
Tongues and holes as far as the eye can see.
I do like that it implies the 69 is inherently
two vaginas.
Yeah, wait. Or the ass.
Or two assholes.
Alright. Well, okay.
Next. As a teen, I pictured
the 6 and the 9 as the open mouth
smiling profiles of just the
heads. Like they're just happy to be
69ing. We have
an illustration. Okay, alright, okay. just happy to be 69ing. We have an illustration.
Okay, alright, okay.
We have to include this photo.
Which led Peter to say that this makes it seem like teenage Alan
thought that 69ing was slang for the
upside down Spider-Man kiss.
Oh, I can see someone thinking that.
If they were a child.
I'm sorry, what are these little loops
at the end? Those are tongues.
Kendra, those are tongues. Those are tongues.
Kendra, those are tongues.
Did he draw this?
I hope so.
I think he might have drawn this.
Now, then we have Mahana who said, in Biden's America, the circles are the heads and 69ing
is nice.
In Trump's America, the circles are the generals and 69ing is no longer nice.
Choose what the circles are wisely because one is democracy and the other is fascism.
Peter continued.
Six and nine aren't pictograms.
Classic Peter.
They don't correspond to human anatomy.
69 is the sex number
because it's the only pair
of Hindu Arabic numerals
that's just the same arbitrary symbol
rotated 180 degrees.
That's what 69ing is all about.
Rotating 180 degrees so your partner can go to town. I know a lot of people are thinking, I can't help
it. When six is placed next to nine, I see two little stick figures pleasuring each other.
Honestly, that's fine. You're free to fantasize about stick figures doing anything you want,
but you should keep that to yourself.
Here's my problem with that theory. Why would we choose numbers at all if it was just about rotations? It could have been any shape, any letter. Right. It could have been anything.
I don't like that answer. That's an important point. That's an important point. I think what's
important about the numbers is that they have the circles, which again are heads. Are the heads,
yeah. And finally, there is no answer. It it's like asking is a hot dog a sandwich
hot dog sandwiches numbers oral sex all of these are human inventions ultimately it's up to all of
us to decide for ourselves whether the loop part is the head or the hole and that was also from
peter and i think a beautiful place to leave it yeah i could have called it mw-ing it was just
about rotations or um or right well no because
no because you're right yeah there does
you're right you're right that's not enough
it has to vaguely look like bodies
approaching each other
which is why they are the heads
you could do um you could have
E and then the
the the
sum sign which is a
greek letter I'm forgetting right right you gotta go to wing things
fucking with wing things and speaking of wings like a migratory bird i have sensed the approaching
spring and have no choice but to take flight sorry what i mean is love it or leave it is going on
tour again it all starts in the moon tower festival in Austin, Texas on April 21st. Then this summer will be hitting cities like Asheville, Madison,
Pittsburgh, and more. If you want to get tickets right now, Friends of the Pod subscribers have
exclusive access to the pre-sale code and the best seats in the house. So you can subscribe
now at crooked.com slash friends to get that code. Learn more about where we're headed at
crooked.com slash events.
Come see us on tour.
Come see us on tour.
And there's a bunch of shows on sale right now.
DC's almost sold out.
Are you most excited to go?
I won't say.
I simply won't say.
Or are you least excited to go?
Also won't say.
I'm excited to go everywhere.
Every place has a food I want to eat.
Yeah, that's fair.
And that's America.
And that's our show.
I want to thank Kendra, Hallie, Sarah,
and the whole team
for another perfect episode
of What a Weekday.
I'll see you slots on Saturday.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye. If you're already doom scrolling,
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It's love it or leave it.
Hey, Kendra.
Yeah.
What's the weirdest item in your storage locker?
Um, there's so much Warhammer shit in there because that's my husband's stuff.
What would we think is the weirdest thing in the world?
Yeah, that's right.
That's such an important question.
It's an important distinction.
If you're a normal person.
Imagine you're sitting here asking you,
not what you think is weird.
Um, um, um, oh, I have a normal person. Imagine you're sitting here asking you, not what you think is weird. Perfect.
Um, um, um, oh, I have a, oh.
Oh my God.
Okay.
Classified documents from Afghanistan. No, no.
I have the tuxedo jacket that used to belong to the man who wrote the long telegraph in
like the 1930s.
Oh.
I wanted to say his last name was Keenan.
Yeah, George Keenan.
George Keenan.
From the State Department.
I have his tuxedo jacket.
You have George Keenan's tuxedo jacket?
I sure do.
Wow.
Do you never wear it?
I will bring that in.
We'll bring it.
We'll show it off on here.
Yep.
I have it.
I went to his.
For all the dweebs who watch.
I got it from his estate sale in Princeton.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Pretty cool.
That is neat.
Yeah.
I just, yeah, I do own that.
I used to use it for my Zatanna Zatara cosplay costume.
Just like George would have wanted.