Lovett or Leave It - What A Weekday: Cannes You Believe It? feat. Matt Rogers

Episode Date: May 21, 2024

Las Culturistas host Matt Rogers joins What A Weekday! today and what a weekday is it. This week, the prosecution rests while the defense snoozes in Trump’s hush money trial. Rudy Giuliani gets served more than birthday cake. Jasmine Crockett goes toe-to-toe to Marjorie Taylor Greene, and you can only imagine what those toes look like. Billie Eilish takes us out to “Lunch,” and we applaud for Cate Blanchett as long as we Cannes. Grab your tickets for Lovett or Leave It’s weekly live show in Los Angeles. Special guest hosts include: Andy Richter, Larry Wilmore, Matt Rogers, Ian Karmel, Langston Kerman and Guy Branum. Dates & Tickets: https://crooked.com/events/

Hey, it's Lovett. Before we get to the show, a few housekeeping notes. Pod Save America is going on the road with our Democracy or Else Tour, which stops in Brooklyn, Boston, Madison, Ann Arbor, Phoenix, and Philadelphia. Lovett or Leave It will also be on tour, crisscrossing the country to make you laugh and to help me work off some of my election year nervous energy so I don't chew up all the couch cushions. Eh, didn't sense. Sometimes, yeah. Tickets are on sale now. Head to cricket.com slash events to grab yours today. Now let's get into it. I have an Elantra.

I might name my daughter after it. Don't you think Elantra is kind of a fantastic name for a daughter? It is really. Couldn't afford a car so she named her daughter Alexis. There you go. I got my twins Elantra and Sonata. This is Hyundai humor with Matt Rogers. Just kidding.

I am Matt Rogers, though. Good morning, good afternoon, whenever. Because you can really listen to it whenever. That's the thing about podcasts. That's the beauty of the internet. But I'm holding a cup of coffee in my hand so I'm unable to say anything but good morning. I am so happy to be here.

I'm filling in for, who normally does this? I don't know. I'm actually not a guy. I don't know. Okay, then I guess we'll just leave it. I don't see anyone in 858. No, there you go. I mean, we're all here.

We're, the important crew is here. This is head writer Halle, producer Kendra, producer Chris, and this is what a weekday. Can I actually reveal something to you guys right now? Yes. So do you remember, like, so just peek behind the curtain, little BTS for everybody. There's a prep call that happens.

Do you know, do you want to guess where I was when you called me for the prep call? Because I said, I can't get on Zoom, I'm going to be mobile. I said I was going to be mobile. Do you want to guess where I was when you called me for the prep call? Because I said, I can't get on Zoom. I'm going to be mobile. I said I was going to be mobile. Do you want to guess where I was? A bookmobile. I was at Disneyland California Adventure.

It was during the parade. I had to run into pizza pasta in order to take this prep call. I didn't know at all. You wouldn't know because I was deeply embarrassed at the time. Why? Why? I was like, should I lie to them and say, I'm taking know at all. You wouldn't know because I was deeply embarrassed at the time. Why? Why? Why? I was like, should I lie to them and say, I'm taking my little cousin. I went with two other adult gay men.

Do you know how many adults leave this office to go to Disney World, like every month? I'm obsessed and I knew I came to the right place. My last vacation was at Disney World. Oh, 100%. Okay, I love this. So I'm really happy that you didn't hear the sounds of parade in the background. I wouldn't have expected anything less from you. Honestly, and honestly, that's why I'm showing up here in my truth.

I was like, this will be a good reveal for on air. And if anything about this episode today seems Disney-fied, sorry, and that is my fault. Should we get into it? Yes. Here we go. Last week, Rudy Giuliani gleefully taunted authorities, celebrating that he had so far successfully dodged being served his indictment in Arizona's fake elector case.

He's sort of like Leonardo DiCaprio in Catch Me If You Can, if the side of Leonardo DiCaprio made you cry, throw up, and doubt that anything will ever be okay again. You may not like it, but this is legally a smile. Oh, God. That's like, you remember, that's like on Friends when Chandler, like, you ever know the episode where like he took a picture and Chandler did like an insane face because he can't smile? That's like, that's Rudy Giuliani all the time.

I thought you were gonna reference when Ross bleaches his teeth and then they become glow- No, it's the end of the dark. It's sort of the love tiled of Ross and Chandler. That's what I've always said about Rudy. If they like made it with like a bat or something. That's what I've always said about Rudy. If they made it with a bat or something. He's got the Tom Cruise center tooth.

Oh, wow. I've never noticed it before. See, can I just say, so far we've put Rudy Giuliani's name in the sentence with Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Cruise, and it's like, are we doing good work here? Giuliani posted a now deleteddeleted tweet on Friday, writing, if Arizona authorities can't find me by tomorrow morning, one, they must dismiss the indictment,

and two, they must concede they can't count votes. Rudy talks a big game for someone who leaves a visible slime trail, if you have to say. This would have been a really good opportunity for him to book the wrong venue, like Four Seasons. Yes. Total landscaping or whatever it was. This was the time to not be in the right place. To make a decoy.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would agree. It's just like, also the number of people currently hiding out in Florida, people are going around on TikTok finding Diddy in the Whole Foods. I knew Diddy was in Miami before he started popping up on TMZ, Giuliani was gonna be found. Oh yeah.

Do they keep having videos of like Bolsonaro just like in Whole Foods in Florida? We didn't include it because it just happened, but apparently Rudy Giuliani today launched a coffee brand and just put out a commercial. What? And there is something where it's like as their lives fall apart, they must engage

in a MyPillow style, start like a new business. It's almost like as his life leaves his body, the business emerges from it. I love it. Correct. Honestly, this is the only thing about it, in my respect. The merciless brand, come on now.

And there's like what like the man of the 80s where it's like, I am a business. Like I have nothing else. I have erased my humanity, but I will still sell. I just think, what a horrible association to make. Like, I don't think Julian is like, I want to be more conscious. Yeah, exactly.

That's the last thing I want. More things that I say should be clearer, louder. Yeah. Said with more impressions. We don't need him to have any more energy. No. We did, like we said, we gave him a whole year, year and a half of walking around, speaking everything through a megaphone.

We allowed that. And he is like a cup of coffee. He's bitter, he's stinky. There's brown liquid constantly coming out of him. Like, I get the association. I also just think his way of hiding out in Florida is so boring. Just like, hang out in Palm Beach. Like, why is he not in a swamp?

Like, running around in a swamp. Get out of fan boat. Get out of fan boat. I have a great idea. I know a place that's called the Everglades. I could introduce you to some alligators. Just roll it around with the snakes. Right.

Drink and moonshine. At this point, though, not to be macabre. Please do. Maybe the Florida alligator death is a good one for Giuliani. I mean, like, you gotta go on becoming a god at this point. Like, let's end it with a bang. You need to go out, yeah, you need

to go out in a way that's going to make us forget everything else. 100%, yeah. Wipe the slate clean. I'm all for it. I'm all for it, too. Disney death. How do you guys feel about Taylor Swift having

a song called Florida? That's one of the songs on that album that I liked. I'm going to say too. Disney death. How do you guys feel about Taylor Swift having a song called Florida? That's one of the songs on that album that I liked. I'm going to say a nice thing about it. We talk shit about Taylor Swift every episode and I'll do it again. So you guys got that out of the way before it came? No, no. We say that that is a song that I actually enjoyed and I enjoyed it because I think it's

a different producer than the person she's normally working with. And I also really like Florence Welch and I enjoy that one song. Yeah. I mean, but now you've got Florida people being like, Florida is one hell of a drug. So the line in the song is, Florida, one hell of a drug. And I feel like if anything goes with a Hang Ten sign, it's that line. Like, it's going to make Florida people very Florida.

I also want to say for our listeners, I don't hate Taylor Swift, but I do think I do hate Jack Antonoff. I think that's actually who I'm real problem with. I love him. What did he do to you? I love hate Jack Antonoff. I think that's actually who I'm real problem. OK, wait. What did he do to you? I love Bleachers. It's the same song.

It is dozens of the same song. Get him out of here. Get someone new in there. I love his Bruce Springsteen cover band. I think it's perfect. OK, well, I'll take the boss, the original boss, himself. Thank you. No, I say that with love.

Like, I genuinely, nothing makes me happier than putting on a Bleachers album, sitting down and writing some pages. It's great. I love to bop around and pretend I'm in Love, Simon. Because I didn't get to do that when I was in high school. That's a really good point. And now whenever I listen to Bleachers,

I'm in high school, I'm gay, and it's all right. That's how I feel. I'm bopping around, and I feel like the sky is pink. Enjoy this. We just said, Howie and I, we came around. We did it. I feel like the sky is pink. Enjoy this. We just said, Howie and I, we came around. We did it. I don't know about all that, but. And we found it here on this episode.

Absolutely. Because it certainly wasn't happening on the Lewis Pertel hosted episode. I'm sure he had a lot of lovely things. Oh, did you listen? Lovely, positive. No, I didn't listen. Oh.

I hear enough from him in our group thread. I don't need that. Because you are correct. Yeah. I'm g- I do hear enough from him in the group thread. Can it, Missy. And we were saying, since we're on the topic of music, we were saying that Sabrina Carpenter's

Espresso is the song of the summer. There's no other song I know of. No, that's all I listen to. No, I think you have to wait until Bodyguard is officially released. Oh. When is that? You mean as a single?

Excuse me? Well, this is really tough. You say it's officially released. When would it be officially released? Like, as a single? Excuse me? Well, this is really tough. You say like it's officially released. When would it be officially released? Oh, but like as a single. As a single. Oh, okay.

Do we think that's a Cowboy Carder single? Cause Too Most Wanted is out there right now. Too Most Wanted is out right now. I think the smart thing to do is release Bodyguard next. And then for me, Tyrant is the perfect entrance into Virgo season. I think you're right. Also, you know what's so crazy about all these pop girlies

like announcing albums at the same time? Like the presidential candidates are not campaigning, but the girls are. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like these girls have to be very political with the single releases marching towards the Grammys at the end of the year. What's going to be the fight song this year? Oh, baby. I don't know. Is there a, you mean like a fight song? Like that song, fight song. Like one that- Oh, for the election. Yeah, for, yeah. Like a presidential candidate picks it

and then we can never listen to it again. Exactly. There's nothing more triggering than hearing a fight song. Like a small boat in the ocean. It's supposed to be hopeful, I think, but it's not. Yeah. God, we all will sit here in silence for the next three minutes, really just pondering that.

I think either one of them could take Chappell-Rone's Good Luck Babe. I feel like it's a very good luck babe election. I feel really bad for her. No, they don't know anything. They wouldn't, where would they even hear such a thing? One of my friends' mom. Where would either of them hear any pop music?

She was just on NPR a few weekends ago, and I got a lot of mom texts. About Chapel Row? Yes. That's where my mom also finds out about pop music. And then we talk about it. From NPR? She was on Wait Wait.

I think she was on Wait Wait. Don't tell me. Shout out. A smart move. Yeah. The moms love her. A very smart move. Because I think she can remind people of Cyndi Lauper.

That's very much the vibe. That's absolutely. Producer Chrissy, you a big Chapel Row fan? I'm going to be honest. I don't know shit about music. she can remind people of Cyndi Lauper. Mm-hmm. That's very much the vibe. That's absolutely. Producer Chrissy, you a big Chaperone fan? I'm gonna be honest, I don't know shit about music. Okay, what do you know? Yeah, what are you listening to? Are you a cinephile?

Yeah, I'm more movies, I'm like really nerdy shit. I just watched Shrek 2 over the weekend. Shrek 2? A masterpiece, the best Shrek movie. The 20th anniversary. Yeah, it just happened. Wow, was it the 20th anniversary of Shrek? It was.

Everyone was talking about it because it was the anniversary. Yeah, I just watched it out of pure coincidence. Didn't realize it was the 20th anniversary of Shrek? It was. Everyone's talking about it because it was the anniversary. Yeah, I just watched it out of pure coincidence. Didn't realize it was the 20th anniversary. I just wanna say something. It was the 20th anniversary of Shrek, and that wasn't number one on the topical news items list that yelled at me.

We're sorry about that. Unbelievable. It's like you get lost cultureistas in here and then you totally ignore the culture. What? At least the 20th anniversary of Shrek 2. I don't know if that counts. I don't know that's quite as high on the list. I believe it's the 20th anniversary of Shrek 2. I don't know if that counts.

I don't know if that's quite as high on the list. Because we are all listeners, we know that you and Bowen are excavating years, so we wanted to save that for you. Also, Matt, we could do it on Thursday. Listen. That's true. We'll be there this morning. Should we just, as a bit with one of our guests,

which include Rachel Bloom, maybe Rachel Bloom, maybe we'll do just a Shrek 2-themed thing. I just think deep dive. I am so here for that. I have to say, I think she'd be really into it. Yeah, I think so. If we tell Rachel Bloom, hey, on Thursday, we're thinking a segment for you, we know you got a lot going on,

it's the 20th anniversary of Shrek 2, we should dive in. I think she'd be like, hell yeah. Now you're really into BTS. We're all thinking Shrek 2 for Rachel Bloom, but now that I think about her personality, she might be a Monsters Inc. girlie. Okay, I can see that.

All right, I can see that. We can put that into news. There's layoffs at Pixar happening right now. Absolutely. Layoffs are happening as we speak, no matter what industry. Yeah. You said it.

Sarah's getting actually the claw. She's got her real finger out of the room right now. Oh my God, bye. Okay, enough of this, enough of this. Listen, less than two hours after enough of this, enough of this. Listen, less than two hours after he said this, Rudy was served his indictment papers at his 80th birthday party in Palm Beach, Florida. At least someone served at that party because I know this man did it.

Definitely should have not served. Early reports said Giuliani was so angry, he went into, quote, gator mode. But later it turned out eating raw chicken in a dirty swimming pool is kind of just part of his routine. You gotta eat. Said Giuliani spokesman Ted Goodman, the mayor was unfazed by the decision to try and embarrass him during his 80th birthday party.

He enjoyed an incredible evening with hundreds of people who love him from all walks of life. And we look forward to full vindication soon. The party was a real who's who of Palm Beach, featuring everyone from the process server who handed Giuliani his indictment papers, to the flies that were circling Giuliani's rotting body. I'm sure we've all heard about the cicada apocalypse

emerging this summer, we've heard about that. And if you're wondering why they came out now, baby, they had an 80th birthday doing it. Come on. Everyone's invited. All the girls from college. However, according to the Daily Mail, Giuliani's special day was very much ruined,

with party guests screaming at the authorities and bursting into tears. And I get that. I'd also scream and cry if I suddenly realized I was at Rudy Giuliani's birthday party. You know what though, this is what I'll say for Rudy Giuliani's birthday party, I bet that past apps go off.

Heavy. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just the nastiest stuff, you see at like a wedding, like you know that Giuliani is having that garbage at the party and that's one thing. Like that air and cheese, that's like the size of a soft. There you go.

It's like the spreads that they put on Real Housewives of New Jersey. Absolutely. It looks like you want to eat. And thank you for shouting out that they do throw the best. They have the best food. They have the best food. That's my culture.

I love those. Did you go to the Shore House? Yes. Melissa Shore House? You're eating an orange-ini ball the size of her own head. Gorgas-sized. Over in New York, going over from New Jersey to New York, the last full week of Trump's hush money trial is in full swing,

with Judge Juan Marchand deciding Monday to set closing arguments for May 28th. Marchand also scheduled a few minutes at the end of the trial for all the key players to mill around on stage, hugging each other like the end credits of an episode of Saturday Night Live. Remember when Rudy Giuliani was allowed in that building? Yeah. Remember when he was like a celebrated America's mayor?

Member of the SNL community. Yeah, he was throwing out pitches, he was doing bits. Throwing pitches. It was a really insane time. Mayor behavior, which was something we have to remember, really happened. I feel like this trial was finished so fast, but also went on for fucking ever, which seems right.

That's probably how Stormy Daniels felt. Bazinga. Personally, I'm an RIP to young Sheldon, we should say. Yeah, I think. Yeah, it will be missed. Last Bazinga ever. One of the best to ever do it. We did it.

Personally, I'm happy for Trump. He can now focus on his true passion. Even more trials. During his cross-examination Monday, Michael Cohen admitted to stealing money from the Trump organization while working as the former president's lawyer. Stealing from the Trump organization is one of those things that's completely illegal, but ethically fine, like drinking at the beach or vandalizing a Cybertruck. Cohen said he took $30,000 out of a $50,000 payment meant to pay a tech contractor the

company hired to rig a CNBC poll about famous businessmen in Trump's favor. Shameful. Disgusting. He could have stolen so much more. I could got you a deal for much less, Michael. I pay CNBC to rig who is your favorite Los Cochoristas host Paul all the time. To be fair, I always just barely win. According to Cohen, he stole the money out of anger in retribution for Trump

slashing his bonus. Said Cohen, it was almost like self-help. God, men will literally steal $30,000 instead of going to therapy. It's like, the rest of us just make sure that our email is signed up to the Staples Rewards Program. 100%. That's what normal stealing from a company is. There's ways to scam. There's ways.

I mean, totally, girl, though. I mean, whatever you need to tell yourself. When I select Red Delicious at self-checkout, even though I'm buying Honeycrisp, that's actually meditation. Cohen also said he talked to Trump more than 20 times about the Stormy Daniels situation in October 2016, ahead of the presidential election. Can I say I feel for Cohen?

He said that toward the end, his hand was getting raw from all the high fives. That's pain. And love is about pain. Turns out Michael Cohen was the last witness prosecutors planned to call in the trial. Michael, from one headliner to another, congrats boo. Then on Monday, the prosecution rested their case. And given the headlines about Trump sleeping in court, the defense has been resting this whole time. The defense lawyer called Robert Costello,

a lawyer who once advised Cohen to the stand in the hopes of discrediting Trump's former fixer. I'm surprised given the way Cohen operated. I was like, no way this man has ever taken any advice. During his testimony, Judge Juan Marchand freaked out at Costello after the witness audibly commented, ridiculous, and geezello after the witness audibly commented, ridiculous and geez, after the judge sustained

several objections by the prosecution. He also said to strike part of his own testimony. Said Judge Mershon, if you don't like my ruling, you don't say geez and you don't say strike it because I'm the only one who can strike testimony in court. Added Mershon, matter of fact, you shouldn't say geez, even outside of the courtroom.

What are you, an angry Mormon in 1996? The defense subsequently rested on Tuesday with Donald Trump opting not to testify after telling reporters last month, I would testify absolutely. Though to be fair, he did mumble that in his sleep. Did sort of just sneak out there. It's so sad. You know, he'd have so much potential if he could just get over his crippling shyness. You know what I mean? He's a wallflower.

Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Okay, Pride merch coming at ya. Pride or else. It's a new collection at the Crooked store and a phrase I plan to yell next time I see a bachelorette party at a gay bar. There are a ton of new items and something for everyone, whether you feel like celebrating, protesting, or you just want to piss off Disney by wearing a shirt with two Mickeys kissing on it. A portion of proceeds from every order go to Crooked's Pride or Else Fund in support of organizations working to provide gender affirming care and life saving resources to queer and transgender communities across America. Kick off Pride Month right now at crooked.com forward slash store.

As you've no doubt seen by now, Georgia Republican and national record holder for banned from the most Walmarts Marjorie Taylor Greene fully derailed a House Oversight Committee hearing by launching a personal attack at Texas Democrat Jasmine Crockett's eyelashes. We have a clip. Do you know what we're here for? You know we're here. I don't think you know what you're here for. Well, you the one talking about...

I think your fake eyelashes are messing up what you're wearing. No, I ain't nothing. Hold on, hold on. Oh my God, it's tough to go up first during a roast. The only thing missing from this hearing was the Drag Race rattlesnake sound that... You know that thing. I wish I could do it. I can't, as you just heard.

Dear Congresswoman, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez leapt to Crockett's defense like a good sister, calling Green's remark unacceptable. That is absolutely unacceptable. How dare you attack the physical appearance of another person. Are your feelings hurt? Move her words down.

Oh. Oh, girl girl, baby girl. Oh really? Don't even play with me. Baby girl, I don't think so. We are gonna move and we're gonna take your words down. God, I cannot wait to watch Andy Cohen ask them about this during the reunion. While Greene agreed to strike her words from the record,

she refused to apologize and Republican Chairman James Comer agreed that her personal insult didn't violate House rules. Yeah, I mean, there's probably no explicit rule against throwing a CrossFit tire against the hearing room either. We've never needed one before. It all brought this response from Crockett. I'm just curious, just to better understand your ruling,

if someone on this committee then starts talking about somebody's bleach blonde, bad-built, butch body, that would not be engaging in personalities, correct? A what now? A what now? I don't love the use of butch as an insult, but I do love alliteration. That makes me a centrist, so be it, baby.

And Miss Justin, bleach blonde bad-built butch body has now been added to the looking-for filter on Truth Social's dating tab. Congrats to the community. Then Crockett announced on X that she's launched a line of bleach blonde bad-built butch body merchandise, which you can see here. Listen, call my patients Donald Trump the merchandise, which you can see here.

Listen, call my patients Donald Trump the way it's being tried every day. I can't with all this. I just want to say, just to point out that her name is actually misspelled. Yeah, we could have taken this off of Canva and maybe gotten it to Photoshop. No, this is obviously CGI. When you see a misspelling like that,

it's like, okay, you just put it in and then no one even just read it. Do you think that model knows what he's wearing? No, no, no. I don't even know if that's a real person. I feel like this may be all entirely a guy. And I say this with love, this is a shirt that we would be wearing at a family reunion,

and I know that that's the aesthetic that she is drawing from. 100%, 100%. On Sunday's Meet the Press, Crockett defended calling MTG racist. Do you think her going after your eyelashes, that that in itself is racist? I think her specifically doing it to me,

yes, that was the intent. MAGA has historically been on social media doing the things where they're saying, oh, she's black with lashes and nails and hair, and so she's ghetto. And so to me, this was her buying into that rhetoric and trying to amplify this for the MAGA crowd. And so yeah, I absolutely think that she only did it to be racist towards me. It should absolutely not be Crockett's job to explain this. We're talking about Marjorie Taylor Greene. The presumption is racist until proven innocent.

On Monday, MTG posted her response, writing, Yes, my body is built and strong, not with nips, tucks, plastic or silicone, but through a healthy lifestyle. Soon turning 50 years old, God willing, I will continue to lift, run, swim, play, sport, surf, ski, climb, and live this life to the fullest and enjoy every single moment. There is also a video of her deadlifting. ["I'm Unstoppable"]

lifting. I'm unstoppable, I'm a barge of wisdom brakes, I'm invincible. Posted with the same energy of the horror movie villain who you think has died, but the final phrase is their eyes opening. She's gonna be hit with a cease and desist from whoever that artist is. Really? See ya? We hope we see ya in court. Thanks for laughing, I hated saying that.

And that wasn't one of their jokes that came out of my brain. Okay, but if there is a god, why did she make Marjorie Taylor Greene impervious to death? Let's move on to something else. In pop culture news, Billie Eilish released her third album, Hit Me Hard and Soft, last week. So a big week for both eyelashes and Eilish-es. Hmm. Shout out to Sarah Lazarus. Thank you, Sarah Lazarus. We wanted to make sure you got the floor.

She's back. She's out for two weeks. She's back. I love it. The singer also dropped a lyric video for Lunch, the album's sexy sapphic single, in which she declares, I could eat that girl for lunch. Yes, she dances on my tongue. The song is a follow-up to Eilish's thematically similar offering on the Barbie soundtrack, titled, What Was I Made For? E.M. Pussy.

Incredibly brave to write a sexy song about the least sexy meal of the day, Lunch. Oh, you could eat that girl like a sweet green salad at your desk while catching up on emails? Okay, girl. The album follows Eilish's Rolling Stone cover story last month, in which she declared, I've been in love with girls for my whole life, but I just didn't understand until last year, I realized I wanted my face in a vagina.

Hey, we've all been there. Not me, obviously. Ever, never, not once, no time in the future, but a lot of us have been. In the interview, the singer said, lunch is part of what helped me become who I am, to be real. Okay, same. Just about the concept of having lunch in general.

I identify with you, Billy. Billy also took the opportunity to promote masturbation. Said Eilish, people should be jerking it, man. I can't stress it enough, as somebody with extreme body issues and dysmorphia that I've had my entire life. And can I say, it's good to see a celebrity go to bat for jerking it. Carry on, Billy. Pick up the torch that Fred Willard dropped. Look, if this is what gets Gen Z to be horny and have sex,

then I celebrate her. Back in my day, you had to wait until your mom took you underwear shopping and you could see the image of the Fruit of the Loom dudes in the back of your retina for later. It's still there and you're looking great, fellas. In related news, Gallup polling from this spring found 7.6% of Americans now say they are some kind of LGBTQ,

with more than one in five Gen Z participants identifying within that community. The numbers are up from 3.5% in 2012 and 5.6% in 2020. Hooray! The vaccine is working, guys! We're getting them! Look, in news I actually care about, because this whole thing has been absolutely awful for me so far.

In news I care about Avril Lavigne, top of mind. Not to call her daddy podcast to promote her greatest hits album. Apparently there are enough. Oh my god. And to once again publicly deny the rumor that she was replaced by a clone after dying 20 years ago. This is a real rumor for those of you

out there with, like, jobs and lives. Nothing but love to Avril, but who would go to the trouble to replace her with a body double? You think Hot Topic has the profit margin for that? For listeners who might not be aware, the Avril Lavigne is a clone conspiracy theory is one of the ones we pretend to believe for fun. For listeners who might not be aware, the Avril Lavigne is a clone conspiracy theory is one of the ones we pretend to believe for fun.

It's not one of the obviously false conspiracy theories we sincerely believe, like the one that says Boeing somehow assassinated a whistleblower by giving him a staph infection. Think about it. During the episode, the singer reiterated that, despite what you might have read on the internet, she is not a secret doppelganger of herself named Melissa Vanadela. Could she make it any more obvious? Although when someone yelled Melissa really loud, she did turn around rather quickly.

The longstanding conspiracy theory began in Brazil and dates to a 2011 blog post that used Avril Lavigne's lyrics and photos to argue that Melissa assumed Avril's identity following the singer's debut album and subsequent untimely demise. But why Brazil? It's a country where soccer is huge, and Brazil hasn't won the World Cup since May of 2002.

What else happened in May of 2002? ALL GASP ALL LAUGH Hey, Hallie, do you want to explain what that was? Yeah, so, um, so what we're looking at is a poster of Star Wars Attack on the Clones, episode two. Yeah. Gorgeous. For those listening at home.

Great art. They couldn't manage to bring any light into Hayden Christensen's eyes. No, absolutely not. No, no, no, no, no. Shout out to him, though. No, I'm happy for him. Shout out to him out here just living his life, and Kendra just came in and absolutely

bombaded him. Hayden Christensen, you are on burn notice today. Wake up in the eyes, boo. Hey, he's getting a Disney salary to this day. 100%. No one's mad. No one's upset. And no one's listening.

Fortunately, the singer thought the conspiracy theory could be worse. I feel like I got a good one. I don't think it's like negative. It's something creepy, said Levine. And she added, it could have been worse. They could have denied my presidential win like my hero Donald Trump. Oh God, no!

Over in Europe, the 2024 Cannes Film Festival is underway. So get ready to jump up and slap those raw, bleeding palms together, because it's time for Standing Ovation Watch. In a segment we're calling, Who Got the Clap? The Cannes audience clapped its fucking hard out for body horror film The Substance, starring Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley, giving it an 11-minute standing ovation on Sunday night. People were clapping for something

they called weird nudity. Reports also said people vomited and passed out in sheer terror at the screening, which pegs the question, who are these freaks they're letting go to con? When they saw Avatar, did they just rip their fucking faces off? On Saturday, Selena Gomez wept as her film, Amelia Perez, received a nine minute standing ovation.

She cried because only nine minutes of continuous clapping against the movie is trash. Ovation inflation is real. Interesting fact, Amelia Perez is how Strega Nona pronounces the show Emily in Paris. All right. Kevin Costner was also brought to tears, even the men, by the standing ovation for his Western Horizon

and American Saga, which clocked in at seven minutes. Oh, boy, here come the water worlds. Nicholas Cage celebrated the six minutes standing ovation for his psychological thriller, The Surfer, by taking the mic to ask how to say eat the rat in French and then yelling, mangez la rat! At least this time it's a line from the film, unlike the last three times Nicolas Cage yelled,

eat the rat at con. Outside, many French people were seen eating rats, having heard Cage yelling, I have to assume. OK, maybe that's how French aristocrats say it, but the proletariat would say ratatouille. And finally, Cate Blanchett blew kisses to the con crowd as her dark comedy, Rumors, received a measly, pathetic, merely four minutes of innovation. We've truly lost the plot here.

Four minutes is so, so long. Imagine a crowd of people applauding for the entire length of the song Complicated by Avril Lavigne's body double, Melissa Venadela. Yeah. Well, wow, what a weekday it was. I want to thank everyone for having me as a little guest at this little table.

It was so good. Thank you. I felt very at home. Thanks to everybody. And I guess I'll see you sluts Saturday. But before that, there's the live show on Thursday. So if you're in town, come on and swing through. I want to see you sluts in person.

I bet Love It only says, see you sluts once. I've said sluts now several times, and they had to ask me, Are you comfortable saying it? Clearly, here it is again. See you slut Saturday. I hope Lovett never comes back. That slut. Love it or leave it, it's love it or leave it

Straight, shoot, tie Love it or leave it, it's love it or leave it Respect it or no sex Love it or leave it, it's love it or leave it Straight, shoot, tie Love it or leave it is a Crooked Media Production. It is written and produced by me, John Love It and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our Executive Producer, Chris Lord is our Producer, and Kennedy Hill is our Associate Producer. Hallie Kiefer is our Head Writer, Sarah Lazarus and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre,

Will Miles and Mahana Del Shiki are our Writers. Evan Sutton is our editor. Kyle Seglen and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer. And Milo Kim is our videographer. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure. Thanks to our designer, Bernardo Serna, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast.

And to our digital producers, David Tolles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroote for filming and editing video each week so you can. Well I'm the only person gayer than Lovett to host the show so that's a lie. You just had Lewis. Yeah we just had Lewis on. Yeah that's slob. He's in the other room right now ganging up. Is he actually? He's in the small studio.

Keep it. He's in the small studio. Yes remind him that you're in the large studio and he's in the small one. Honestly, maybe I'll go cameo.