Lovett or Leave It - What a Weekday: College Presidents v. Crude Traps

Episode Date: December 12, 2023

It’s the last What a Weekday of the year and boy are our hearts tired. Vivek gets caught with his pants down. Texas, Ohio, and Missouri make life hell for women who need abortions. College presidents get housed. And Crooked's Ramzy Masri joins to talk about his family's experience in the West Bank and his experience as a Palestinian American as the war between Israel and Hamas has unfolded.

Do you guys ever have a dream that... Actually, yeah, I have had that. Have you? Love it. Have you had such a thing happen to you? Great job setting up this opening of the show banter. I had a dream about something called, in the dream, the Sophoc token. And the Sophoc token is a tiny blue elephant, and if you stare into its eyes, you become attracted to women. That is what happened to me. Is that what happened to you? you yeah i was at like a knick-knack shop there was like an old wise man

table yeah i was like what's this hey can i borrow that token sometime yeah but it was too i wouldn't buy it you just look at it once but you gotta look at it over and over again whoa you only need the one right that's why yeah you pass it on. It's terrible business. He's got a token library. Ooh. And we're back. I'm here with Brian, Sarah, Hallie. Hi. Woo! Hello.

Now, before we started, Sarah Lazarus turned to all of us and said, you ever have a dream that just fucks up your whole day? How you doing? Not great. Let's get into it. What a weekday. Vivek Ramaswamy, or what happens when an end-user license agreement becomes a person, appeared to broadcast himself taking a pee after he forgot to mute his mic during an X-Space conversation with Elon Musk, Alex Jones, Andrew Tate, Matt Gaetz,

and other luminaries with over 100,000 listeners. What the hell are you talking about? Kill them all. Of course. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Here it is. I'm super pro-human, and I mean old humans.

You know, humans in America, humans in Africa, Asia, and everywhere else. Somebody's got their phone open in the bathroom. Yeah, that's Vivek. Vivek, that's your phone, Vivek. I'm not able to mute you. Vivek. Go ahead, Elon. Sorry about that.

Well, I hope you feel better. I feel great. Thank you. Sorry about that, guys. Yuck. There's something about the forced jocularity of the whole thing that makes me really uncomfortable. It's funny Elon can't mute him. Like, I can mute anyone on a Zoom that I own.

But this is on X. I don't think anything works. Nothing works. I'd rather hear Vivek Ramaswamy pee than hear Elon Musk talk. Right? Like, if that was just pissing, that would be way better. Yeah, I feel like the thing that interrupted was, I'm pro-human. All humans.

Humans in America. If you're saying that, no, you aren't. Like, I'll tell you that right now. It's like, that's not a human thing to say. Yeah, the saying, I'm pro-human, is like, it's a defensive and kind of like pious response to a fair criticism that he's not addressing. perhaps bad to turn Twitter back into a sewer where Alex Jones and Matt Gaetz and all these freaks run rampant and no one else really feels welcome or safe or has any desire to be there. But I'm doing it because I'm pro-human. Well, it's like when you said all the CEOs that stopped advertising on X would hear about it from the planet Earth. Yeah, from the planet Earth.

It's like, I'm not sure they're going to call. I don't think they are. Yeah. There's also in which calling people humans is like the tech guy version of calling women Yeah, from the planet Earth. It's like, I'm not sure they're going to call. I don't think they are, yeah. There's also a way in which calling people humans is like the tech guy version of calling women females. Yeah. It's a little bit off. Yeah, like, what are you trying to say? What does that mean? The piss call marked a special event, Elon Musk's decision to allow right-wing conspiracy theorist Alex Jones back onto his personal social media platform. And I, for one, am happy to hear it.

Before this, if you wanted to hear what Alex Jones had to say, you had to hold a toilet up to your ear like a seashell. On Thursday, a woman in Texas named Kate Cox sued the state to obtain an abortion after learning that her fetus had a fatal genetic condition. Because when something's gone wrong in your pregnancy, there should only be one thing on your mind, and that's healing. I'm sorry, I misspoke. And that's debating a right-wing attorney general. The Texas abortion man says abortions can be performed in cases where the patient's life would be threatened, but Cox fell short of that standard. Carrying the fetus to term probably wouldn't kill her, but it could render her unable to have more children. What's the point of treating women like baby factories if you don't even let them keep the baby machines

in good working order? What's the factory supposed to do like baby factories if you don't even let them keep the baby machines in good working order? What's the factory supposed to do now, get turned into lofts? No one can even afford those. I've lost control. A Texas judge subsequently granted a temporary restraining order to allow Cox to obtain an abortion,

but late Friday, the Texas Supreme Court blocked that ruling. Cox, unable to wait any longer, fled Texas to seek care. And on Monday, the Texas Supreme Court officially ruled against her. The reason, the court explained, is that Cox didn't need a court order to qualify for an abortion. She simply needed to be at risk of death. In other words, if you live in Texas and you think you might want to get an abortion, you have to buy a Cybertruck and slam a Panera lemonade. The logic of this ruling is wild. If you are alive enough to ask for help,

you're not dead enough to need it. Meanwhile, jealous of how cruel Texas has become, Missouri Republicans are proposing that women who seek abortion care be charged with murder. You know what they say? Missouri loves company. The company in this case is run by Dog the Bounty Hunter, and he makes money chasing women down on his ATVs as they flee across the border. As women across the country face the grim legal body horror reality of life under Republican rule, an unfolding case in Ohio has drawn new attention. Police in Warren County charged a woman named Brittany Watts with a felony after she miscarried at 22 weeks. At 21 weeks, she was told by a doctor that her pregnancy was not viable and she would miscarry. So why was she charged? Well, she experienced an awful but viable and she would miscarry. So why was she charged?

Well, she experienced an awful but common occurrence. She miscarried while on the toilet. She then went to the hospital where she experienced life-threatening complications. Police then removed the toilet from her home, chiseled it open in order to find the remains of her non-viable fetus, and charged Watts with desecrating a corpse. This is why I became a cop, said a cop who calls women females and has a thin blue line flag on his extremely unsuccessful hinge profile.

Man, this is a tough week for news. I gotta say. Comedy. We're doing it. Tough country. Tough country. Makes me really fucking mad. It makes you really mad.

It makes you really fucking mad. Makes you really mad. Mad enough to vote for Joe Biden? Let's keep going. I have to ask. Twice. Twice. I have to ask, what was she supposed to do? What was Brittany Watts supposed to do? Even if Watts overcame her blood loss and trauma, crouched down and managed to find the fetal remains, what then? Bring a fetus into the hospital and be like, one fetus funeral, please? If you, like me, are truly baffled,

maybe Warren Municipal Court Judge Terry Ivanchek can tell you why he sent this to a grand jury. His work phone number is 330-841-2525. That these women have to go to court and address these fucking monsters as your honor, like, I would, like, break the fuck down. Like, I'd want to lunge at their

little scrawny... I'm really mad. Sorry. What's the problem with the... really mad sorry what's problem with the like this used to like a problem with like every group in this country where it's like in there are people who could hear these details and are so horrified be like this shouldn't happen and there are people who could hear this and are so completely unmoved and it's like well how do you broach like how do you bridge that gap the idea that you could be a judge and hear these details you'd be like yes this is a matter for the courts i don't know know. It's hard to imagine reaching. Like, how do you reach that person who's already at that point? Yeah. I mean, I don't think we need

to reach those people because these issues, these are 80-20, 90-10 issues. Like this is not Republicans are not in favor of this. The vast majority of Republicans are not in favor of this. The trick is all the Republicans who were fighting so hard to overturn Roe v. Wade called all the experts and lawyers and providers and protesters hysterical, hyperbolic when they said this is what the future would be, then it happens. And then they just hope everybody acclimatizes to living under these conditions, that it goes from unacceptable, impossible, imaginary to normal before we have a chance to fight back. On the other hand, we're going to usher in a new era of abortion jokes just because that's literally going to be everything in the news all the time. Yay. Hey, yeah. Hey,

I wonder why you're having bad dreams. Special Counsel Jack Smith asked the Supreme Court to fast track a ruling on Donald Trump's claim that he's immune from prosecution as a former president. Pretty cocky to ask Clarence Thomas to rush to judgment. His opinions suck balls when he takes his sweet ass time. And Samuel Alito has a whole deliberate system to reach his conclusions. He doesn't even like to start typing until he's just about to lose consciousness because of how painful the hooks have become. Wrote Smith, this case presents a fundamental question at the heart of our democracy, whether a former president is absolutely immune from federal prosecution for crimes committed while in office. That's prosecutor speak for.

Listen, you right wing legal freaks. I know you got into this game to chain women to gurneys and return coal to its rightful place in the hearths of public school chapels. But you can't believe that the president is a god king unbound by our laws. Right. Right. Right. On the other hand, the justices deciding this question will be getting a ride from said former president to a party on Epstein's island.

No, Epstein's not there anymore. It's owned by another rich maniac who once called Epstein a judgy prude. That guy sounds like a real freak. The U.S. on Friday vetoed a U.N. resolution calling for an immediate humanitarian ceasefire in Gaza, which was backed by almost all other Security Council members. And sure, this may be functionally the same as vetoing a change.org petition, but it looks much worse. There are 15 members of the U.N. Security Council, and the final vote was 13 to 1. The United Kingdom abstained, taking the same moral stance on a

ceasefire as you do on a breadbasket. Bernie Sanders came out against a permanent ceasefire on Face the Nation Sunday after publicly supporting a humanitarian pause. I don't know how you could have a permanent ceasefire with Hamas, who had said before October 7th and after October 7th that they want to destroy Israel. They want a permanent war. I don't know how you have a permanent ceasefire with an attitude like that. He has a serious point about how a ceasefire can't be one-sided, but then he phrased it like,

ceasefire with that attitude, which is regrettably hilarious. President Biden's approval rating for his handling of the Israel-Hamas conflict has declined slightly since October, with more than a third of Democrats saying Biden is showing too much support for October, with more than a third of Democrats saying Biden is showing too much support for Israel,

and more than 75% of Republicans say Biden is showing too much support for his son. Bah. Bah. At Monday's White House Hanukkah party, President Biden told the attendees, were there no Israel, there wouldn't be a Jew in the world that is safe,

added Biden in an ill-advised ad lib. Except Doug, of course. I'd tell you I'd hide that guy in my attic in a heartbeat. Quiet as a mouse, that Doug, and he doesn't eat much either. Love that guy. He'll sneak up on you, Doug will. Not saying Jews are sneaky. Oh, geez. This is a new cycle. It's a new cycle. It's happening. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Last week, the presidents of Harvard, MIT, and the University of Pennsylvania testified before Congress about how they are protecting their students from anti-Semitism. And sure, this may have looked like a crass opportunity for Republicans who tolerate raving anti-Semites in their own ranks to attack the elite universities they've been railing

against for years, but that's because you're too cynical. During the hearing, Malika Henkman and Lee Stefanik asked each president if calling for the genocide of Jews would hypothetically violate the college's code of conduct. It's like watching Wiley Coyote paint a tunnel on a wall, and all the university presidents are there watching him paint it, and then each of them runs full speed directly into the wall. In one viral clip, Stefanik grilled Harvard president Claudine Gay on the pro Palestinian protesters calling for intifada revolution, which Stefanik says is tantamount to calling for the genocide of Jewish people. You are president of Harvard, so I assume you're familiar with the term intifada, correct? I've heard that term, yes. And you understand that the use of the term intifada in the context of the Israeli-Arab

conflict is indeed a call for violent armed resistance against the state of Israel, including violence against civilians and the genocide of Jews. Are you aware of that? That type of hateful speech is personally abhorrent to me. In Arabic, intifada means struggle, but it's also a word closely and painfully associated with suicide bombings that took place during the second intifada in the early 2000s. I'm just grateful we have Elise Stefanik to guide us through these nuances. Each president in turn attempted to provide an answer that

threaded the needle between protecting free speech on campus and responding to real world anti-Semitic threats, but all ended up seeming evasive and lawyerly, which Stefanik exploited. They didn't have to. They weren't subpoenaed. They were so stupid. They just drove halfway across the fucking country to get smacked in the face. And dude, they were so condescending while they do it. She was like, yeah, I know what antiphona means. Anyway, I'm going to resign this week.

Like, these stupid, stupid. Really know what antiphona means. Anyway, I'm going to resign this week. These stupid, stupid. Really bad decision. Really bad decision. If you see Elise Stefanik in a party, you should leave. Like, you shouldn't engage with her in a battle of wills. Because unfortunately, even that little clip, it's like, it's over. Like, once she's walked you up to that and you were not prepared for Elise Stefan least stefanik what could you do i mean just like watching you're like okay well then what was even the point of this yeah first of all they'd been

there for hours and yes second of all it really is a when did you stop beating your wife situation there's no once you're at the point where you're like negotiating the finer points of whether someone has called for genocide uh you're not winning. You know? Yeah. And the headline like gay hates Jews. Like that's. That's not what you want. Now, for a number of reasons. Yeah.

Gays hate you. Gay hates Jews. Bad for gays everywhere. The point is, if you're going to voluntarily sit for hearing like this, prepare some talking points, take a few deep breaths, and try not to step on your dick so hard we're forced to cede moral ground to a Lee Stefanik, a maniac who echoed great replacement theory and once attacked Biden for providing formula to immigrant babies. Remember that? Remember when that was her problem? Because it was expensive. In her attempt to answer, Penn President Liz McGill replied, it's a context-dependent decision. And if there's anything Americans

who only read headlines with your face under the word genocide understand, it's context. Harvard's president, Claudine Gay, said that when speech crosses into conduct, that violates our policies. So we can all agree that an active genocide against Jews on campus

would be against the rules in the student handbook. So that's a place to start from. That's a place for which to build. I tried to read the handbook and they made it a little harder to find. Wait, what do you mean? When you click on the link now to find the Harvard handbook, there's nothing on that page. And I feel like they're like, dig that down.

I don't know, Sam, it was the Bin Laden letter. Actually, the Code of Conduct is just the Bin Laden letter. Oh, crazy. Oh, they've already read it. MIT president Sally Kornbluth said she hadn't heard any such calls on her college's campus, but that such rhetoric would be investigated as harassment if pervasive and severe.

But a casual kill the Jews in between classes. Come on, it's college. People are experimenting. Once again, I would rather wax my eyebrows off than find myself aligned with Elise fucking Stefanik. Roughly 700 members of Harvard's faculty signed letters supporting President Claudine Gay, calling the pressure on her to resign politically motivated, while another letter signed by Harvard students and alumni

expressed no confidence in Gay's leadership. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Gay news. The other thing about it, too, is it's like, this was a trap. It wasn't even a well-laid trap. Like, the trap wasn't even finished being built. It's a very crude trap. It's a crude trap.

It has the word trap right on there. Yeah, there weren't a lot of leaves covering the mechanism. Where it's the bear trap with a pie on top. It's like, ooh, but the pie. And what's the pie? The pie is, I prove Elise Stefanik wrong. I think that was the pie. I think these, I think they were all like,

we could wipe the floor with this woman. We're going to crush it. It's going to be like a great day for the public humanities and higher education. And they just like, I do think they're like, yeah, but I do think that there was a there was there was a confusing part of this, which is if you're a college president, if you're if you're dealing with campus politics, you've spent the last decade dealing with unfair attacks that your college

is not open to intellectual disagreement or debate and that free speech is no longer safe on campus. And they didn't realize or they didn't fully countenance that actually none of these people care about free speech. This was a debate where they were trying to prove that you were too solicitous, too permissive of free speech. And so because if you go look, actually, if you look at like the Harvard student handbook, which I did, it says somewhere in there now something like speech that you might not like, that you might find concerning or distressing isn't necessarily against the rule or something like that. And like there is clearly have there has been a debate

about that kind of thing. And Republicans have spun up cases where like that conservative judge was was, you know, harangued or or other conservatives have gone to bait like, you know, right wing Internet trolls have gone to campuses to bait student protesters to to to get physical or make them feel unsafe, whatever. And so like that is the context, which is a Republicans trying to say, oh, if you say anything that runs counter to being pro-trans, pro-gay, critical race theory, whatever thing they're focused on, then then you're a bigot and it's not allowed. But you can be an anti-Semite. You can you can say whatever you want about Jews because you don't care about Jews because you think of you, you, you, you're anti-Semitic or you've allowed anti-Zionism to allow you to welcome anti-Semitism on campus. The other trap is they want to equate any legitimate or even illegitimate protest of Israel as being anti-Semitic, right? Like,

that's part of this, too, because Republicans just passed a resolution through the House that had a bunch of examples of terrible anti-Semitism unfolding in the United States and around the world. And then at the very bottom of that resolution, it says we resolve that anti-Semitism is anti-Semitism. is enough to make it, I think, correctly anathema to a lot of progressives and Democrats and I think intellectually honest people who may find the view that Israel doesn't have a right to exist abhorrent, might find the anti-Zionist view historically unfounded or unfair or biased or whatever. I think I'm probably one of those people, but who also believes it is possible to not support Israel while not being an asthmatic. And they all were like, oh, that's what she's trying to do. Jump. I'm in. You know, it's just a fundamental like the unfortunate part that we're always constantly going to be in is like whatever topic it is, we care. And Republicans are only viewing it as a way to put it into their mechanism to get power. Like so it's like this was not there.

To assume good faith in any part of this was the initial mistake. And then to come there and not understand, like you said, a crude trap, not understand that, like, Elise Stefanik doesn't care about any of this. So why are you putting yourself in front of her, knowing what she has said in the past, knowing what kind of person she is? She's just trying to be president. She's trying to be the first female president who will be a Republican. She will do anything. She will do anything to raise herself within the party to get curry the favor of, say, a Trump or whatever. And this is why it's, like, so disgusting, right? Because, like, weaponizing anti-Semitism isn't wrong because there isn't anti-Semitism.

It's wrong because there is anti-Semitism, and it ought to be taken seriously. And at the same time, trying to equate anyone protesting against violence in Gaza, which is abhorrent and morally indefensible, with anti-Semitism, is trying to do exactly what these conservatives have said liberals have been doing for years, which is trying to make legitimate debates seem illegitimate. And by the way, also, if we paint the entire sweep of people

from those who have legitimate questions of Israel's conduct, but recognize Israel's right to exist all the way to the world's worst and most despicable anti-Semites and biggest. If we paint that all as one group of people, what is that going to, how does that help us bring the people in, do the persuading we need to do to build a coalition, a bigger group of people who believe in peace and the humanity of both sides? who believe in peace and the humanity of both sides. It's just, it's so, it's so crass and cynical and gross. And the fact that these college presidents allowed themselves to be part of it,

allowed themselves to become pawns in that little game is such a fucking wonder. Forget how much they fucked it up once they were in the hearing. You're right. Like the second they sat down fucked it up once they were in the hearing. You're right. Like the second they sat down in that room, they had lost the game. And like they,

and the fact that they all had people around them, that this was allowed to proceed, that like no one was able to see to the other side of this is a real indictment of them. And probably by the way, means they're not up for this fucking job too. Because it's like,

you're a college president in fucked up roast battle america 2020 i know it's like we're sorry that this is the way things are i'm sorry this way politics are truly unfortunately like you have to understand congress is wwe like like you are entering a performance for whether it's donald trump or republicans or whatever like you're entering a stage and if you are going to act like it is an academic, like a boardroom or an academic space, it's like, oh, no. Yeah, you brought a knife to a folding chair fight. And they don't seem to understand that like Harvard, MIT and Penn were not mistakes

or coincidences or accidents. Those are like archetypical like paragons of what American higher education is and could and should be on an international stage. And so for them to show up in this way and say the students that we're training to be the elite that will run this country and the rest of the world share the ideology that we can't even espouse coherently or with any kind of cogent worldview, it just condemns the entire system of higher education, elitism, like that they're going after like a specific type of person. Yeah. And by the way, on top of all of this, there are Jewish students who legitimately feel concerned that that anti-Semitism is not treated in the same way as

other forms of bigotry. And you want to know that they're safe on campus. And their concerns are real and valid, too. And so it's like they succeeded on no standard. They will be awarded zero points. And for a lot of people, including a lot of people that we work with at Crooked, they have a personal connection to what's happening in Israel, in Gaza, in the West Bank. One of those people is Ramzi Mazri, who works at Crooked. And we had a conversation about just how much of a toll this has taken to watch unfold and to feel so connected to it and to watch it be treated with so much inhumanity. And so we wanted you to have a chance to hear from Ramsey directly about it. So, Ramsey, hi.

Hello. Hi, thanks for doing this. Can you talk a little bit about what your experience has been like over the last several weeks, watching this unfold while also having family that lives in the West Bank? Sure. I think, to John's point, I think it's easy to feel like this is something that's really far away. For my family, it's every day. It's like a black cloud that follows us. And I worry every day about my aunt and uncle who live in the West Bank. It's tragic what's happening there, I think, for both peoples.

I think for both peoples, I think the thing that we have to remember is that we were cousins and our fates are intertwined. So the only path forward for both of our people is through love instead of hate. And I think it's easy to identify with hate right now. I think there's a lot of reason to be angry, whether that's almost 20,000 people in Gaza dead or almost 8,000 children in Gaza dead. How many will be enough? How many will be enough to satisfy revenge or the anger of the people of either side or the people in countries far away and the way that they feel about it. For us, it's personal. And even before October 7th, my aunt and uncle were driving down the highway at night in the West Bank and a car came up beside them and sped past them and turned sideways in the road. They had no choice but to stop. and turned sideways in the road. They had no choice but to stop. And so my aunt, she wears the hijab because she's Muslim,

and they saw that. So they pulled out an AK-47. We're about to mow them down. The only thing that stopped was a car, headlights on the horizon. And this was before the 7th. So imagine what they're going through now. Their neighbors are getting mowed down in the streets. They can't get access to food or medicine. And they're in the West Bank.

They're not in Gaza. The humanitarian, the scale of the humanitarian disaster there is unconceivable to Americans. And I think we try to identify with it. We try to understand what it's like. But if you can't have clean drinking water, if you don't have access to food or medicine, if your children are dying and being bombed every day, if you can't sleep because the bombs are raining down on you constantly, what kind of life is that? enable a new generation of violence. It doesn't make it okay to turn Gaza into a concentration camp. And that's what it is. And so I think we need to start bringing dignity to this conversation. We need to start recognizing our common humanity. And we need to say enough, enough violence, enough torturing each other and realize that we both have legitimate claim to the land. We do. Jews were there in biblical times and before. They have nowhere else to go. They deserve to be there. Absolutely. But so do my people. And I, I wish that we could start to rise above our hate. And

I wish that we could start to see the ways that we're more similar than we are different. One thing that you had said to me when we were talking about this was the ways in which being Palestinian has made you feel like a drawbridge and that you're not always in charge of when you're up or when you're down. Can you talk a little bit about that? Yeah, I mean, even now, I hate being on a microphone, and this isn't something I would choose to do for myself, but I want to be a voice for my culture, and it's written in my birth. I'm mixed race, so I'm half Palestinian and half American,

and I think I've been through dark periods when I thought about ending my life. And I think the thing that keeps me here and the thing that brings me purpose is feeling like I can be a drawbridge between two cultures, between Americans and between Palestinians, because even my family overseas or Arab colleagues at other media organizations or people I know in the world think America, wrong or right, is a deeply evil place that deserves to, you know, whatever is coming to it, whether that's in 2024 or beyond. And I don't believe that. I believe in the promise of America. My dad immigrated here and achieved the American dream. He's inspirational to me. And to leave your culture and to come to a place

that's so foreign and to marry into that culture and to raise mixed race kids is so courageous, especially in the 80s. And I think because I have the ingredients for both cultures inside me and the perspectives and I have, you know, I practiced Ramadan as a kid and I understand Christmas and Western traditions. And I think being able to speak to both and to teach each culture, again, that we're more similar than different. I mean, Islam means peace. The Arabs I know in my life are the most hospitable people you'll ever meet. They treat total strangers like royalty. You go to their home and they will put a giant tray of food in front of you. when you're full they keep feeding you even when you say i'm full that's that is our culture and i

think jewish culture is similar yeah the food's not as good uh well ramzi thank you for being willing to come and come on the show i know you hate doing this i just want people to know that i didn't make you do this no no it was my choice. It was my choice. And just, I'm really glad that you're part of Crooked. And when you see like beautiful designs on our podcast art, on merch and across everything that Crooked does, Ramsey is often the one responsible. And so we're really grateful to have your voice as a part of Crooked. And now I think I'm going to make a joke about an astronaut eating a tomato. So that has to happen too. Cool segue. Yeah. I think I'm going to make a joke about an astronaut eating a tomato. So that has to happen too. Cool segue.

Yeah. And as promised, perfect transition complete. More than eight months ago, U.S. astronaut Frank Rubio was accused of eating a tomato grown in microgravity on the International Space Station after a tomato mysteriously disappeared, completely ruining the surprise of microgravity bolognese Rubio had planned for the crew. Remnants of the tomato have now been found exonerating Rubio. Sadly, Rubio had already been given the death penalty,

thwomped out the airlock while screaming and crying. Space law is pretty strict. What do the remnants of a tomato from eight months ago look like? I don't know. It must have gotten under some sort of switchboard or something. Do you think somebody ate it and they're like, oh, I found this thing. It's probably the tomato. It's like, alright, man. And

finally, a California hiker was rescued after spending seven hours trapped beneath a giant boulder estimated to weigh between 6,000 and 10,000 pounds. Thankfully, emergency responders were able to excavate the hiker from underneath your mom. Underneath your mom.

From underneath your mom. From underneath your mom. From underneath your mom. From underneath your mom. I think I am still asleep. Welcome to my dream. It's not good. From underneath your mom.

Sapphic token. Sapphic token. Sapphic token. And that's our show. See you sluts on Saturday. Bye sluts. Bye sluts. Love it or leave it.

It's love it or leave it. Straight. Shoot. Time. If you're already doom scrolling, don't forget to follow us at Crooked Media on Instagram and Twitter. You can also find Love It or Leave It on YouTube for access to your favorite segments and other exclusive content. And if you're as opinionated as we are, consider dropping us a review. Finally, you can join our Friends of the Pod subscription community for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and a great discussion on Discord. Plus, it's a great way to get involved with Vote Save America. So sign up today at crooked.com slash friends. Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett, and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer. Brian

Semel is our producer, and Malcolm Whitfield is our associate producer. Hallie Keeper is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles, and Mohana Dalsheki are our writers. Evan Sutton is our editor. Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. On the road, Vendelin Von Schroeder is our tour manager. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer. And Milo Kim is our videographer. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure. Thanks to our designers, Jesse McLean and Bernardo Serna

for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, Zuri Ervin, David Tolles, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroot for filming and editing video each week so you you can. All right. I think we have, that's something. And it's not nothing. Yeah. All right. What time is it? It wasn't the laugh, right? 1140. All right. We got to go.