Lovett or Leave It - What a Weekday: No Sleep Till Manhattan

Episode Date: April 16, 2024

Donald Trump gets a courtroom visit from the Sandman. President Biden forgives (more student loans) while American voters forget (what the hell it was like living under Trump). And Grimes’s Coachella set has us desperately seeking  Skrillex. Please, save us, Skrillex. We beg of you. Tour dates & cities: crooked.com/events

I wonder if some part of the appeal of the minions is that they're a collective group of children. They are like weirdly ageless. Like they're like they're childlike but they're not really children. Right. I've always heard- They live forever I think? They're immortal? They are. I think so. Like I don't think you can kill them and I think they've been around since like the dinosaurs or something.

An uncomplicated sweet child that you can blow up and they're still fine. They also exist to do mayhem and evil like they serve an evil master that's right they are minions they were they were born to be evil right but specifically to be controlled by an evil person. I don't know I don't know about the minions. And we're back! I'm here with Chris, Kendra, and Halle. Lazarus is back to lurking like the Babadook. There's more light on her this time. Let's get into it.

What a weekday. Jury selection in Donald Trump's Manhattan hush money trial began on Monday, marking the start of the first criminal trial of a U.S. president. Here's The New York Times' Maggie Haberman on what she observed. You guys have been, at The Times, have been live blogging this event. And 40 minutes ago, you wrote, Trump appears to be sleeping his head keeps dropping down and his mouth goes slack tell us about that well Jake he appeared

to be asleep and you know he repeatedly his his head would would fall down this time he didn't pay attention to a note that his lawyer Todd blans passed him his jaw kept falling on his chest and his mouth kept going slack now you know sometimes people do fall asleep during court proceedings, but it's notable given the intensity of this morning. Yeah, that's rather surprising. It's, I just also like, you know that when you're

just sitting in a chair and you can't, there's not enough recline to it so that you can't help but do that thing where you're kind of, that thing sucks? I like that it was like 10 a.m. on a Monday. It's like, it wasn't even Thursday afternoon. It was like, oh no. They probably didn't give him his normal diet coke

and Adderall so that he would appear normal. Do we get to come up with like a nickname for him? Right, there's like Sleepy Biden. Do we get like Slumping Trump or something? No, I said Slumpy. Slumpy. Slumpy Trump. Slumpy Trumpy. Sure he fell asleep, but he also blew out his diaper

and drank quite a bit of breast milk, but I don't know why we're focusing on that. Where'd the breast milk come from? I'm not sure. I'm not sure. If Biden fell asleep in court, we'd never hear the end of it, but of course that could never happen because Biden can fall asleep

without first putting on a nightcap and checking for ghosts with a candle on a little plate. Like Scrooge. He always finds one. Haberman also noted that the courtroom smelled slightly off, but that's normal. That's just how his species reacts to stress. Trump has repeatedly violated the gag order put in place by the judge. On Saturday, Trump attacked his former fixer, Michael Cohen, expected to be a key witness for the prosecution. And hours before the trial began Monday,

Trump posted, I want my voice back. This crooked judge has gagged me. Unconstitutional. The other side can talk about me, but I am not allowed to talk about them. Rigged trial. I'm gagged, mama, Trump went on.

They've taken my right to spill. It's jarring to see Trump gag like this. He's voiceless as hell. I've never seen someone shut the fuck up so much. The prosecution on Monday asked that Trump be held in contempt for violating his gag order in three social media posts and requested a total fine of $3,000,

it's $1,000 per post. I do think this, you know, is it a penalty or is it a fee? You know, if it's small enough, it's just a fee. So subscription service. Yeah, like in LA, you can park anywhere you want for a parking ticket fee. Yeah, that's true.

It's how I used to save money. I used to have a thing that would connect to my Twitter account and every time I tweeted, it would take $1.50 out of my bank account and put it in a savings account. Oh, that's good. Oh, that's good. Oh. That's a good idea.

That's a good idea. More important than the fine, prosecutors asked the judge to remind Trump that violating the gag order could result in his going to jail. Judge Mershon said he would hear arguments on the violations later this month. Imagine if Trump goes to jail for being unable to stop posting.

What's next? The rest of us going to jail for our posts? Like we deserve? Hundreds of potential jurors were summoned to the courthouse and the selection process alone could take two weeks or more. Thankfully, Trump came prepared with his favorite reading material, many, many Bibles. Because you know, he likes Bibles, his favorite book, The Bible. More than half of the potential jurors in the first group of 96 people were dismissed after saying they believed they couldn't be fair and impartial. The rest presumably had heard of lying. Imagine throwing away an opportunity to be on the Trump jury by admitting that you can't be impartial. Ryan Gosling just said, I've never told anyone

this, but little anxious Jewish guys who recently lost weight and can't stop talking about it, that's actually my type. And I'm like, sorry, I have plans to try dim sum that night. I think it's like tapas. That would be what that's like. What a beautiful fantasy. Where Ryan Gosling talked to you. Yeah, I don't know.

I would be like, I was raised in a cave, and I just got out three days ago. I know nothing. I would allow, whatever they need me to be, I would be to be on that trial. I think that's course correcting too much. I would just be the blandest version of myself. But how would you do it, Kendra?

I think you just have opinions about nothing. Kendra. Yeah? I don't think that you have a bland version of yourself. I was gonna say, I can't imagine you'd be able to pull it off. It would be like, I just think even if you, even you trying to convey nonchalance is more intense than most people's full intensity. Absolutely, yeah.

Yeah, like. You'd be wearing like a trench coat too and like a hat. I feel like you'd just be coming in hot. Yeah, there's no way you would not show up in incredibly fashionable as you always do. I've worked in corporate America before, guys. I know how to tone it down. That time when your life is over.

Here we are, baby, it's Hollywood. Meanwhile, outside the courthouse, diehard Trump fans gathered to support their man. The man is a germaphobe. You know where I'm going with this. If he had an affair, if. Okay, services were paid for. Services rendered, services paid for, right? So what are we talking about? Lots of men use prostitutes.

Huh. She's hit on an important point, which is that sex work should be legalized and normalized. I like that. But that has nothing to do with this case. He was trying to cover up. Right, yeah. It wasn't about whether or not services were paid and rendered. It was about paying her money to cover up the fact that they had an affair to hide it

from the public. Right, the most shocking part is that they just, it was, it wasn't paid for. They had met and then they had sex and then that, if anything, that's something that we all, we don't want to think about, but that seems fine. They're both consenting adults, that's none of our business. It then becomes his business when he committed a crime to cover it up in the run-up to presidency.

I think this is, I see this, I'm like, you know, we still really do need feminism, you know what I mean? Where it's like, I understand maybe we went in the wrong direction, we went girl boss, and it's like, look at this, like, what about a girl, normal human? You know what I mean? Where it's like, I understand maybe we went in the wrong direction, we went girl boss, and it's like, look at this, like, what about a girl, normal human? You know what I mean, like wherever this woman went wrong,

I feel like we can get her back on track, because she's going so wide to cover for Trump, it just becomes incoherent. Something happened on the way to heaven, as we like to say. Yeah, I love respecting anything reasonable from a woman wearing a like, American flag Punisher t-shirt with a bunch of

Trump logos. She's just wearing that she didn't even know that the case was. Right yeah. I'll say every day. If you don't have somewhere to be Monday morning at 10 a.m. You're voting. After the first day wrapped up, Trump complained that the trial would prevent him from attending Barron's high school graduation. We had some amazing things happen today. As you know, my son has graduated from high school, and it looks like the judge will not let me go

through the graduation of my son, who's worked very, very hard. He's a great student. It looks like the judges are gonna allow me to escape this scam. It's a scam trial. So, first of all, the judge hasn't said that he can't attend Barron's high school graduation.

It's also like, ah, Trump, you're this close to being a good dad for once. He was finally in front of you. He had the chance. Really the last chance. I'm being prevented from going to my son's graduation, which I actively wanted to go to, is the biggest lie Trump has ever told.

Barron asked Trump three months ago how many graduation tickets he should get, and Trump said, graduation from what, tall university? Don't come in here without a diet coke. It's because he's so tall. He's so damn tall. How did that happen? Tall kid.

Yeah. I need to see all of Melodica's family members. Watching all of this unfold this week, it is special when you know that Trump is, for a fact, having a bad week. Like a lot of the time you can kind of assume he is just based on what we know about like his psychology and what a small dark hell it must be to live inside his mind. But to know it for a fact, that is a treat.

I do genuinely believe it is a hell being this person. Yeah. Yes. It is a hell. Do we actually think that he knows it's hell being him? No, it's like Plato's cave. Yeah, I think that's right. How do you know my friends the shadows? Just in the cave the whole time. That's right. That's right. Like he's never been in a cooler place than hell So how does he know what the temperature feels like? He'd be freezing cold. He'd be freezing cold.

Oh my God. I'm crushing this impression. This is why I needed to become president again, because I just mastered it. Meanwhile, voters' memories of Trump's presidency have actually gotten rosier in the time since he left office, according to a new poll by the New York Times and Sienna College. For example, ahead of the 2020 election, just 39% of voters thought Trump had left the country better off. Now, 48% think so. 48% of people believe that he left the country, which at the time was mired in an unstoppable, unceasing pandemic, was better off.

The problem is most people aren't great at judging whether things have gotten better or worse for America, but anyone can look back on four years ago and remember feeling four years younger. You know? That's why everyone's like, ah, this town used to be great. Now it's not.

It's like, is this town different or did you stop going out after seven? It's like, oh, I walk around, I can hear someone's skeleton popping and snapping. It's like, look, it's you, it's old. It's your bones. It's your bones, baby. It's your old bones.

Also, it's only been three years. I give myself a gratis here because of the pandemic. Sure, yeah. Great, a gratis here. A gratis here. This year, gratis. Gratis. Oh, thank you.

A full year. A gratis? Gratis. Gratis. Don't mind if I do. you. A full year. Gratis? Gratis. Gratis. Don't mind if I do. Hey, you should appreciate it. You're turning 40.

Kendra, I wish to bring up my age. Not the first time. Won't be the last. Very important, the four years between us. Yes, you're very young. Let's, yeah, let's move on. Kendra taking your turn. I don't want to.

To airing people's dirty laundry on the show. It's not dirty laundry. You've turned 40. Kendra, it comes for us all. If you're lucky, if you're lucky, there was a- Tick tock, honey. 42% of voters now remember the Trump years as mostly good for America.

With just 25% saying the same for Biden's years, 46% thought the Biden years had been mostly bad for the country. Americans have gotten, here's the thing, it's Americans have gotten too good at bearing our trauma. We convinced ourselves things weren't so bad to give ourselves the strength to keep going. It's what we did after the Cats movie, and it's what we're going to do now. This is why people get back together with their exes. It's not that you don't remember how a disagreement over whether to stop for gas on the way home from

dinner escalated until she said while crying, you used me as a living repository for your little to-do lists and then act surprised when I don't want to have sex while you deep down knew you've been bored out of your mind for months. You remember it, but you can't feel it. You know? Meanwhile, you thought life after each other would be better in a lot of ways it is, but it's hard to see that when you open Hinge and it's just a menu of human-shaped farts.

But voters do remember Trump is polarizing and chaotic with his low approval rating for race relations and unifying the country largely unchanged. Rose colored glasses can only go so far. You can look at your granddaughter through them, but she's still not speaking to you. This is my vibes based take on what's happening, which is that Joe Biden promised the country

we'd move on from the tragedy of the pandemic and the chaos of Trump. But even if we can't name it exactly, we all live in a society that has been fucked up by both. It's coarser and meaner and a bit more selfish and suspicious. And the uncertainty of the pandemic economy into the inflation of the post-pandemic economy is obviously a very, very big part of it, as is also, by the way, years of being inundated by like the paranoid musings of Trump. Like we couldn't make the worst person president whose worldview is that everyone's out for themselves and nobody cares about you and you have to fight for your own and people will take advantage of you. Like you can't pump that into people's fucking homes for years.

Plus, by the way, shocking half the country by showing us that they could vote for someone as awful as Trump, while that half of the country is trained by Trump to think they can't trust the half that is surprised they could vote for Trump in the first place. All of that has had a hangover for sure. But I don't think it's a coincidence that these feelings of dissatisfaction and frustration and confusion have risen and kind of been unable to like Biden has been unable to kind of make them go down because this all happened while like community and like common bonds that were already frayed like frayed even more during the pandemic and Then none of the institutions or ways in which we could heal those wounds

are pandemic and then none of the institutions or ways in which we could heal those wounds are there in the way that they were before. There was religious institutions or social clubs or even local economies where the businesses in your neighborhood are owned by someone you might know or that have some connection to the place that they're in as opposed to like, just endless rows of faceless conglomerates because the pandemic wiped out a ton of businesses, but who survived like the biggest of the big businesses survived. And on top of all of that, like the way we get our information, the media we consume, all of that is more isolating than it was before. There's no like means of kind of collective action, no means of collective understanding. Like all of those things have frayed

and we don't punish Trump for it because on some level everyone understands that Trump is part of the problem and that like he's not the parent who can fix it. Joe Biden's supposed to be the parent who can fix it. He's the one we like, we may be mad at him, we may be frustrated that we're in this situation, but like we kind of know he cares

and so he gets the blame like he gets the responsibility That's all and I was do about that. I feel like you've just described at least in that scenario It's like a macro version of weaponized incompetence Yeah, I do think that's right I do think everyone knows like if you look at these polling and you look at some of like the Quotes from some of the people that were pulled there's's this understanding that, yeah, he's a piece of shit. But I actually thought maybe that doesn't matter. Maybe I don't need to care about that because things felt better. The economy felt better. Life before the pandemic felt better in some fundamental way. And Biden said, I will help

the country move on from these things. And it's ironic, right, because one of the reasons Trump may become president is that Biden didn't successfully vanquish Trump and all that Trump represented. Like, Trump represents this kind of sense that the system is broken, the country's in crisis, the country's in chaos, nothing works, everything's fucked up. And because Biden didn't, like, Biden only kind of knocked him down but didn't knock him out Trump could win

Well, I think like it's like Trump represents to people so much more than like Biden can't do like white supremacists Want trump to become presidents because he he opened the door to them during his first, uh, you know Presidency and now it's like what can they get from him now? Biden can't defeat that. That's not something that another president can do. What Trump is sort of drawing out are all of these existing problems that when things felt more like, okay, we're sort of generally moving in the right direction, and then maybe we could sort of pretend like those elements weren't there, but Trump is sort of like the, I don't know if he's like a magnet

or what the metaphor is, but it's like I don't know if he's like a magnet or what the what the metaphor is, but it's like Biden couldn't have done this. So Biden has to do the right thing. Then all Biden offers like to do the morally right thing. Like, that's the only thing people on our side could do. And because he's not doing that in Palestine, it's like we're leaving this open. Like if he becomes president, it will be worse for everyone. But it's hard to get people to care when it seems like, well, whoever I pick, it's going to, something horrible

will happen or I will be a part of something horrible, which is like, how do you resolve that? I don't know, but I open it to the floor. So there have been two time Santa polls last couple of months. Biden has actually closed the gap. Trump had like a much, had a, had a bigger lead in the previous poll. Now it's basically a point to part, so it's basically tied. And how did that happen?

Biden consolidated the Democratic base. Basically, Trump had already united the Republican base around him. Now Biden is doing much, much better among the people that were always going to vote for him anyway. But there are these millions and millions of people out there. They're not diehard Trump people. They are certainly not diehard Democrats, they're not really close political watchers, and they are kind of like they are the people that are now going to decide.

Like yes, Joe Biden has to do everything he can to get young people back and progressives back and people that are very, very angry and frustrated with what's happening in Gaza and rightfully so. But that is one problem. But there's this other big problem too, which is millions and millions of people who feel a deep sense of frustration and anger about the state of the country. And yes, you can name it with inflation, you can name it with the economy, you can name it with a dozen real things. But I do think like I am very I do agree. I believe in the the kind of the the.

The theory that this is a country that is still reeling from unacknowledged trauma from the pandemic combined with unacknowledged trauma from the Trump years. And we don't not only have we not dealt with it, one consequence of the pandemic is we kind of laid waste to the means by which we would deal with it. And we're kind of stuck. Like there's never been, there was no, you know, there was no moment where we declared

it over because we couldn't, right? And even what Kendra just said, right, like, I give myself a year. Well, sure, it was a nice thing to think about, but we don't get that year. We all lost a lot. And like, no, but that, and there's an anger, like I really do. Like it's such a, again, this is vibes bake, but like, why do I think people are like driving more angrily on the roads and trying to go as fast as they can all the time? I think they lost a year. I think a lot of people lost a year and like it fucked them up. We are fucked up. And that meanness and that coarseness, like

fucked up and that meanness and that coarseness like there's um uh there was this experiment in when they were first figuring out like game theory about like tit for tat and nerd alert but no i thought this was interesting that like so the thing about tit for tat the way tit for tat works when you're playing it as a game is you assume someone's going to be good unless um they do something, then for one turn you're bad. But if they go back to good, you go back to good. Basically it just means I'll be good if you're good, if you're bad I'll fight back once, but I'll only fight you as very, I'll hit you back the number of times you hit back, right? That's one way you can play this game. There's another way you can play this

game, right? One is you can just assume people, even if they do something bad, you got to be good to them. You can also play this game where you try to trick someone and go bad early to get extra points, right? Kind of like try to trick them, right? And they run these simulations where you can bring whatever version of this game to the, you can like write your own strategies and have all these strategies go head to head. And for a while tit for tat does the best, but then somebody figured out. And by the way, mean strategies don't work. When you think they would, you think you could like outsmart people?

No, on the whole, if you'd run a mean strategy over and over again, just not going to work. You can't trick people. You end up doing worse. What's interesting is tit for tat does really well, even though the best you can do is tie the best you can do in a tit for tat is tie, right? Because, uh, you're going to do exactly what your opponent just did. But what does work even better than tit for tat is tit for tat plus random acts of kindness.

Which in other words is you play, honestly, you play tit for tat, but every once in a while you don't respond. Every once in a while someone is like, does something cruel to you and you don't respond. You say, no, I'm just going to not respond to that. I'm going to keep being good. And randomly insert moments of kindness. And I don't know how we get out of a society where everybody is cutting each other off

and nobody and everybody has become like, everybody's kind of crowding the front of the gates when they're boarding planes because they don't care what happens to the people behind them, but I do think there's something in that strategy that is interesting. Well, I feel like that's our side. We have to have some sort of optimism.

That to me is what optimism is. Like, okay, so we will have to change our strategy. And our strategy has to be, hey, everyone who can see that this is a losing game and that this is not becoming a champion, like becoming the best person on the shit heap is not a way to run a country or anything like that. I feel like, well, what we can offer is like genuine optimism

that things can change and we can be in a real community with people. That's what we have to do. We have to inject those moments into whatever we do. And I do think when Biden has gotten criticism, sometimes from like from watchers, from pundits, from the left, from whoever, it's at times when he's been playing that kind of game where he says something nice about Mitch McConnell or he doesn't take a punch.

He takes a punch and doesn't punch back. I do think instinctively one of the reasons I think Biden has been so successful as president is he understands that. At a gut level, he understands that that's the right way to play, which I think is interesting. That helps. Sorry, that example sort of helps just because I'm thinking, what is a democratic random act of kindness? And for me, it's like an act of kindness that we are doing to people is trying to preserve

the right to abortion. That is an act of kindness that we are bestowing upon the country. But I see you are truly looking at a more micro reactionary level. Yeah. Well, just sort of like, how do you get out of a vicious circle? How do you get out of a, like, they don't trust us, so we don't trust them, so we can't work with them, so they can't work with us. Like, how do you break that cycle? And I think Joe Biden believes you break it

by modeling better behavior. And I actually do think like, given the number of legislative successes he's had, even with Republicans in Congress, like it is born out. But I think beyond that, I do think it's like a broader cultural problem. And I think Biden is in some level paying for it. Again, just my vibes, just my vibes, just my vibes take.

Meanwhile, President Biden announced on Friday that his administration will cancel 7.4 billion more in student debt for 277,000 more borrowers. That announcement brings Biden's total debt relief to 153 billion for 4.3 million Americans. Biden is a divorced mom trying to overwrite the kids' memories of the last weekend with dad. I know he got you pizza for every meal, but one day you'll understand that that's not actually good, but in the meantime, you guys fucking hate me, so who wants to go to Legoland?

Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. In other news, this was the first weekend of Coachella. Coachella. Grimes' DJ set went off the rails pretty quickly, with the singer frantically screaming and telling the crowd her tracks were playing at double speed. I never thought I'd say this, but maybe Skrillex's job has been hard this whole time. Where's Skrillex when you need him?

I ask myself that every day. The singer later took to X to apologize for the sonic catastrophe, which she blamed on technical issues and relying on someone else to organize her tracks, which is frankly unprofessional. Take responsibility for yourself and don't blame other people for firecracker shrimp 180 cal, the original orange chicken 490 cal. All right, which one of you useless fucks copy pasted the Panda Express menu into this teleprompter? Because it wasn't me. You know that's a website I've simply never been to. Yeah, it's not my mouth literally started watering when you said firecracker shrimp.

The only reason that this joke isn't resulting in Panda Express coming to this office is I, I like, I had a feeling that that could happen if we got to this point. And so I ordered a healthier option already. Smart, just a smart. Wise choice. During his performance, Tyler, the creator joked

about Gerard Carmichael trying to discuss his feelings for him on Gerard's HBO reality show. I'm guessing y'all got TikTok and probably see my homie trying to fuck me on camera. Oh, it was terrible. I told the nigga no and he said, but what about if we filmed it? Well, that doesn't make it sound great. What's going on? What is going on?

Well, I don't understand the dynamic between Gerard Carmichael and Tyler, the creator. I don't understand the dynamic between Gerard Carmichael and Tyler, the creator. I don't understand. I think to me it's like this dynamic happens all the time. And I feel like I have new friends in my 20s where like this guy thing is happening. It's just that most people, it's not on HBO or that cartel. Shouldn't be on HBO. It might never be.

Why is he tough? I don't even under, it's like, was he mad that it was in the documentary? But he agreed to do it and talk about it. And signed a release sensibly. Because it's also such a dark, it's such a dark interpretation of what even is in the clip, which is that like, like trying to fuck me on camera,

it's like he was like confessing that he developed feelings for his friend. But like, and it very obviously like that is in the documentary so, and there were cameras in the room for that conversation. Tyler, the creator has talked about, it's like not like he's closeted. And so, but then it like this kind of does have like

a vaguely like no homo vibe to it. Yeah, it's unfortunate, yeah. I mean, either way I'm laughing, but then it like, this kind of does have like a vaguely like no homo vibe to it. Yeah, it's unfortunate. Yeah. I mean, either way I'm laughing, but it is unfortunate. This just like might be something that like they have consented to and we're just all out of it. I'm bored with that. It's just like a whole thing you're doing. That's great. It does like a whole bit is just happening. I'm gonna assume that because it makes me a little sad to think about it. Yeah. I think that's right.

Gen Z lesbian icon, Renee Rapp, was welcomed to the Coachella stage by the cast of the original L Word. I didn't realize that being a lesbian was a passing of the torch kind of thing. You know, like, you have to receive the blessing of older lesbians. Like, almost like a certification process.

Jay Lynch just came up and punched me in the back of the head. That's how I found out. I was on the bus. That's how I found out. I was on the bus. It does make sense. If we have more than the approved numbers of lesbians in circulation,

it could lead to all kinds of problems. That's why you have the process. Cause some girl likes girls, picks up a bandsaw, all of a sudden she's making an end table. It's dangerous. Barely walked to the living room. So unsafe. You have to find out, you have to get the approval process

to start making the furniture. All this permits you got to sign up for. Olivia Rodrigo and Gwen Stefani duetted on the No Doubt song, Bathwater. I love that song. I looked this up before. Olivia Rodrigo was actually born after that song came out.

That song is from 2000. My mom hated that song. I played that song all, every car ride to like figure skating lessons at like five o'clock in the morning. I was, I think it was track three on that album. I loved it.

No, so I just want to just, just, just to sort of, again, just for our conversation last week. So your mom is driving you to... Figure skating. Figure skating. It's what time? Like between 4.30 and 5.30 in the morning. Between 4.30 and 5.30 in the morning. Between 4.30 and 5.30 in the morning. And you're blasting no doubt in the car.

Yeah. Oh, I love to bathe in your old bath water. Makes me feel like I couldn't love another. And so just sort of like kind of... rockest sexual songs on the car ride to figure skating. I wasn't thinking that it was rockously sexual at that age. Of course. And then your mother says, I hate this. Yeah, because I played it so much. And did she ever get a say on what goes on the radio?

Oh, a little bit too much. Like, yes, my mom was the kind... And I wrote this in my book. She knows that I've said this about her. Read the book, people. She was... It's all in there. She was the kind of... She was a music listener.

Air your mother out. Because she listens. She's hearing this right now. She would tell you that both Kanye West and De La Soul rapped the same way, and they were both equally as unintelligible. It does seem like a mom would say it. Yeah, she hated rap. So she had a lot of say on to what we listened to in the car.

And then just at this point, how many snakes did you own? Like how many snakes are in the house? How many snakes are in the car right now? Yeah, how many snakes are in the car? This was middle school. There were only guinea pigs in the house and they belonged to my brother. Nice.

Also, like I watched a clip of Gwen Stefani doing the set and she looks amazing. Incredible. It's incredible. It's amazing. Amazing. In her 50s, I believe. 50, I think, yeah, 50s. Her and JLo are just doing it.

Good for them. That's cool. Yeah, I wish. And finally, fans swooned as Travis Kelce lifted Taylor Swift into the air so she could peer over the crowd during DJ Dom Dala, I don't even know what that is. DJ Dom Dala?

DJ Dom Dala? You got it. Do we know what that is? I have never heard of that name in my life. Anyway, so so Travis Kelsey lifts up Taylor Swift so she can see But Taylor Swift is five foot eleven she should be lifting me a Person who is six foot five lifting up a person who is five foot eleven to see a concert It's like an adult bird feeding chewed up worms

to another adult bird. Yeah, but it's all part of the performance. This is what she- Of heterosexuality. Yeah, no, genuinely, this is- Oh, absolutely. This is what she does with her boyfriend. Okay.

I just think it's stealing short culture. Like, you're five 11, you're five 11, that is so great. You don't get lifted up, that's for us. You mean while you're wearing your big platform boots you're always wearing? I guess DJing is hard, huh? She says in that that... I don't think it is.

I'm sorry, good DJs are great. I think there's a lot of bad DJs that just play the songs. It's talent, it's like anything else is talent. If you're a talented DJ, you're gonna be great, but you could just be completely mediocre. Here's what I don't know the difference. Right. It's talent. It's like anything else is talent. Yes. Like if you're a talented DJ, you're gonna be great. You're good. But you could just be completely mediocre. But here's what I don't know the difference.

Right, right, right. And I love Grimes, but. But all the music is in the machine. If yeah, if you were doing it that way. The music is the machine. No, it is, it is. So it's like when you go to a concert for a band and they play, like obviously they played those songs

before. It's Fleetwood Mac. We're mixing, we're playing Fleetwood Mac. Let's say it's Fleetwood Mac. Yeah, thank you. But like they're playing the songs and they're singing the songs live and they're making something live. And I agree, obviously what DJs are doing is real,

but like, but they're, they're just playing things in order. So there's an- And adjusting the volume. There are two ways that I've seen people- I'm sure it's more than that. Hey, don't come for me in the comments, DJs. So genuinely, the times that I've seen say- Once you wake up.

Questlove DJ. I have seen Questlove DJ at parties where he genuinely, I can see him putting records onto two turntables and like is, I guess, manually, you would say, DJing in that respect? It's improvised. Yeah, you're finding it. You're finding it.

I like that's beautiful. She thinks it's beautiful. But there are people who are mixing their sets at home, putting them on a hard, on like a USB drive. There's a whole scene in Paris Hilton's documentary where she like, I think she like forgets the right computer or something because her set is on the computer.

And I think someone with Grimes was like, she just had a bunch of tracks and it started to play crazy and she's just screaming. Like this is what I would do. Someone else had done it, had arranged it for her. Yeah, which I think would be, I don't know. We don't know DJ ethics. A fool's errand is a DJ. I'm not a DJ.

Don't let someone else put your tracks together. This is an art you craft in your good playlist. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. For sure. I'm just trying to understand what part of this is done in the room. I think it is like, yeah, like you're remixing things in real time.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. Again, but that's the thing. I think that, yes yes some people do that But then some people do it at home and then just plug it in and that seems like a way to go That seems cool. Yeah, that's fun. Then you just do Coachella. That's how I'll that's how I'll DJ We're ripping off a script right? It's the same thing, right? Right, I guess no, but it's not the same thing It's not the same thing

Because everything is like jazz. That's not the same thing, because of course the script is written, but we're not pre-recording the vocals. And we're not all just sitting here in silence listening to the joke. I mean, nevermind. We never swing.

We never have. Like any viewer can tell, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, this is- We all stare at you silently sometimes. All right. Well... Coachella. Yeah. I'll say my favorite Taylor Swift clip that I did see was her and Travis watching DJ James Kennedy from Vanderpump Rules DJ.

He played one of her songs, and it was all going normally for a second. And then he did some crazy, like, remix, and the look on her face clearly says to me, who owns this mix and how quickly can I get a lawyer on the phone? Well, it's that well rising sort of like, it's one of Scooter's tracks, you know? All right, well, we've done it again. Before we go, like Commander Biden lying in wait for Secret Service agents, love it or leave it, April tour dates are just around the corner. We'll be at the Moon Tower Comedy Festival in Austin, Texas

on April 21st with the delightful Joel and Nicole Johnson, Zach Zucker, the Sklar brothers, and Tim Miller. Still some tickets left for that one. The show in DC is basically sold out. Correct. So to get tickets for our Austin show and see where we're heading, because we're heading to cities all across the country,

go to crooked.com slash events. And that's our show. I wanna thank Hallie. I wanna thank Kendra. I wanna thank Chris. I wanna thank Lazarus in the shadows. I wanna thank this whole beautiful team. I wanna thank Taylor Swift.

I wanna thank Skrillex. I wanna thank Grimes. I wanna thank Judge Juan March wanna thank Skrillex. I wanna thank Grimes. I wanna thank Judge Juan Marchand, who fucking rules and is impartial. I wanna thank that juror who reads the New York Times, listens to NPR, watches MSNBC, and can be totally impartial. I agree, you can.

And if you're hearing this in the jury room, you got this, you got this. You can be impartial, you know you can. Get on that jury. Also, I really hope your Bluetooth headphones don't disconnect and start playing this out loud. They'll never know what it is. We'll be all right.

See you so let's Saturday. Bye. Bye. Bye. Love it or leave it, it's love it or leave it Straight, shoot, tie Love it or leave it, it's love it or leave it Respect it or no sex Love it or leave it, it's love it or leave it Straight, straight, tight

Love it or leave it, it's love it or leave it Straight people, on the side Straight people, on the side Love It or Leave It is a crooked media production. It is written and produced by me, John Love It and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer, Chris Lord is our producer, and Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer, Sarah Lazarus and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles and Mahana Del Shiki are our writers. Evan Sutton is our editor, Kyle Seglen and and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles, and Mohanad El-Sheikhi are our writers.

Evan Sutton is our editor, Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Steven Colon is our audio engineer and Milo Kim is our videographer. Our theme song is written and performed by Shure Shure. Thanks to our designer, Bernardo Serna, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast.

And to our digital producers, David Tolles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroote for filming and editing video each week so you can. ["It's Love It or Leave It"] It's love it or leave it. Are you telling me, Lovett, if we were at a concert, you would want me to put you on my shoulders? I wouldn't say no.

I was thinking more Travis Kelso could do it. I wouldn't say no. I wouldn't say no. I wanna see Skrillex press the button. I think I pronounced it Skrillex that time, which is fun. You can say Skrillex, but it's so fun to say Skrillex. Well, it's Skrillex.

Skrillex. Yeah, you're going for Skrillex. Lots of respect. Skrillex. Skrillex. Skrillex. Skrillex.