Lovett or Leave It - What a Weekday: Super Tuesday Edition

Episode Date: March 5, 2024

A very merry Super Tuesday to you and yours! Donald Trump compares a black person to MLK because why not. Haley wins a primary! Good for her. And the Supreme Court can't help but fight its way through a unanimous ruling. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast.

all right tell us about dune 2 oh god i'm sorry dune part 2 excuse me first of all it's awesome it's incredible uh dennis dennis villanueve villanueve denny villanueve say it again denny villanueve denny villanueve denny villanueve nuve nuve nuve nuve nuve denny villanueve this is like 20 minutes right denny v Denny Villeneuve Denny V Denny V truly what he's doing out there he's the best in the game right now

what about Timmy he's firing all cylinders Austin Butler awesome Austin Butler is in it in doing the Elvis voice no in it In doing the Elvis voice No he wasn't Doing the Elvis

Only And we're back I'm here with Kendra Halle Sarah Chris In the dark Like a Babadook Let's get into it. What a weekday.

Perfect. It's Super Tuesday, which means voters in 16 states and one territory are heading to the polls to cast their ballots. Though to me, every Tuesday is Super Tuesday because it's the day I get to come in here and hang out with my team who are my best and only friends. Right, guys? Nikki Haley heads into Super Tuesday with the wind at her back. Having racked up her first and only primary victory in Washington, D.C., Haley defeated Trump 63 to 33 percent among roughly 2,000 voters, give or take the staff of the Lincoln Project, and became the first woman ever to win a Republican presidential primary. We did it!

This is my fight song! We are the granddaughters of the witches they couldn't burn. We really are. Women. Women. Women. Women. Nice.

Nikki Haley vowed to stay in the race through Super Tuesday. Today is her last stand before Donald Trump locks in the Republican nomination in the same sense that a couple goes to couples therapy one last time, even though they both know it's over. Like, what kind of breakthrough are you going to have, Nikki? What's going to change now? Nikki, they don't love you. And sadder still, what Donald Trump showed them is that they never really knew what love was until they met him. Sure, they could see on paper why it would work with a Jeb or a Rubio or a Haley.

They knew who they were supposed to love. And Republican primary voters might have gone their whole lives faking it. And then one day, a guy like Trump comes down the escalator. And even though they never imagined themselves with someone like Trump, even though all of their friends told them that the spark and thrill of that chaos would fade,

that Trump wasn't built for a long-term relationship, that he was a rebound kind of presidential candidate, a candidate you entertain only because your heart is broken and you want an adventure, but deep down you know it's going to leave you just as lonely and bereft as you were before. You think, was Saif so great? I tried Saif.

I tried to make it work with McCain and Romney. I tried to do what my parents did. What did Saif get us? Lonely nights and Sonia Sotomayor. And so you push down the part of you that knows he doesn't really feel as connected to you as you do to him, that when he smiles at you, it's like he's not really there. And you don't just ignore or deny the criticism of Trump. You start to hate the critics for trying to stand between you and

happiness by acting as if you are too stupid or enamored to see what they see in Trump when you see exactly what they see. Because on some level, you know that you resent anyone who tells the truth about Trump, because even though you can scarcely admit it, absent the noise and distraction and rush in the quiet, you might wonder why you cared so little for your life, for your conception of your values, for your country, to embrace a person like Trump in the first place, because you don't hate Nikki Haley. Not really. You fucking hate yourself. Anyway, polls in California close at 8 p.m. local time. I just, I simply know that writing that joke is why we started late i simply know it yeah and i both opened the document today and we said whoa one of those days

covenant hot nobody does that but us that's just our thing you don't think that no i think it's great. Over in California, polls showed Adam Schiff leading in the race to replace the late Senator John F. Einstein. California uses a jungle primary system in which the top two vote gators move on to the general. So the question is most likely whether it will be Schiff facing off against Republican baseball man Steve Garvey or Democratic Congressperson Katie Porter.

If Schiff and Porter can both move on to the general, that might help turn out Democrats, which could help us in some critical House races in the state. It also might finally lead to Katie Porter hitting Adam Schiff in the head with a whiteboard while shouting, now do you want to ceasefire, you fastidious vegan? Meanwhile, as we look past Super Tuesday toward the general, a fresh batch of bad polls for President Biden is rolling in. The latest New York Times Sienna poll found Biden lagging five points behind Donald Trump, 43 to 48 percent. I haven't been this rattled by a low number since I looked up how old Rene Rapp is. 24. She looks so much older.

Yeah, they all do. Really? This poll has a 3.5 percentage point margin of, oh shit, I'm going to puke. It's like a cat. I can't watch that. Why are we doing this? Nobody's going to want to hear this on a podcast. Let's cut this down.

Let's cut this down. You call that a disturbing Biden poll? Check this out, said Marjorie Taylor Greene, holding up a picture of Hunter's dick at a Starbucks drive-thru. The poll found that Biden's favorability has dropped to just 38%, making him more unpopular than Trump, who remains deeply unpopular. Who are these guys? Me in middle school and me in high school? To put that number in perspective, 38% is the Rotten Tomatoes score of Meet the Fockers. 47% of voters now strongly disapprove of Biden's performance, a higher share than at any previous time Sienna poll. Always darkest before the dawn. That's what I told myself 100 minutes into Madame Webb. And that's what I'm telling myself now. To win back the voters he's lost, polling suggests Biden needs to stop the bombing in

Gaza, become younger, lower prices, secure the border and increase the bombing in Gaza. Speaking of, in a speech in Selma on Sunday, Vice President Kamala Harris called for an immediate ceasefire. And given the immense scale of suffering in Gaza, there must be an immediate ceasefire. For at least the next six weeks, which is what is currently on the table. which is what is currently on the table. This will get the hostages out and get a significant amount of aid in. I'm glad they're pushing for this. I could have done without Madam Vice President

showing us another Funko Pop Hall right after, but altogether a powerful moment, and it was fun seeing all the characters from Goodfellas lined up like that. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. The other thing that's amazing about Dune is when you watch, like, George Lucas,

I mean, the amount that he is cribbing from Dune in the Star Wars universe is absolutely,'s like ridiculous when you see it. You're like, oh, because you're like, wait, is this? No, this is all first. But what's amazing about this movie is so Dune as a book exists. It becomes Star Wars. It kind of becomes a ton of what we take for granted as like modern sci fi in in movies and becomes all these tropes. take for granted as like modern sci-fi in movies and becomes all these tropes. And then they make this movie and somehow impossibly, even though so much of what has been in the book has been ripped

off, he makes it feel really new and cool and different. Like, it's amazing. It's amazing. And like, anyway, I don't want to spoil it. I guess I can't spoil it because it's a 40-year-old book. I mean, I think that's why I respect Dune a lot. I respect it as like very foundational to a lot of the material that I love now but i just i think with sci-fi it's really hard for me to get into into sci-fi because i was raised with star trek and so i like sci-fi that speaks directly to the human experience that we know the i've tried to read the dune the first dune book and it's really hard to it's like basically impenetrable like I really did not enjoy I couldn't get

through it all the way and it's because like there's a lot of amazing ideas in it but it's like it's very thick and very dense but I thought that but the the other thing about the movie too is there are jokes like I feel like they did a punch up pass

Laz is that where you were for that week? You were gone. Did you do? Did you do a punch up on June 2? I punched up June 2. Oh my God. No one would be able to prove that you didn't. This is true.

Just start claiming it. It's also, this is like a bunch of my writer friends. Like this is like the fact that like if you go to the credits at the end of a movie, it will be hundreds and hundreds of people. But if you were the fifth writer, like if you did a ton of punch up or wrote a bunch of things and you didn't end up getting a writing credit, you're not mentioned. You're in the thank you. Yeah, maybe. So like you could write whole chunks of a giant movie and you don't get a credit. And that's what happened to me.

I'm on Dune 2. Damn. And that's what I'm necessarily. That's why if you check, you don't get a credit. And that's what happened to me on Dune 2. Damn. And that's what I'm going to say. If you check, you won't see my name. You won't. Because of what Lovett just said. Story checks out because if you go and see, her name's not there, which kind of proves it. Well, as the one who went in there said,

like, what if there's just a bunch of big worms in this? Right. And they're like, oh my God. That's sort of my whole thing was the worms. You know what this is? Everyone loves a good worm. Yeah. We need more horniness in modern films i think we all agree

on that yeah we could go hornier is dune horny at all or no yeah it's i mean it's you know as horny as as horny as the worms the worms popcorn those popcorn containers oh yeah but there's you know people said it was actually hard to get the popcorn out I'm sure it looked like it hurt I was like I would stop you right there no no they actually they were not I saw it at the Chinese theater and they weren't on offer I don't think I would have purchased one I thought was you making out with one on the sidewalk

but that must have been someone else yeah that was and as I told you that was someone else I was never here as I said while I was frenching the bucket. Can't believe they went through with it. Bold marketing. Meanwhile, over the weekend, Trump seemed to forget he was president during a rally in Virginia.

And Putin, you know, has so little respect for Obama that he's starting to throw around the nuclear war. You heard that nuclear. He's starting to talk nuclear weapons today. This election asks one simple question. Do you want a president who has loving grandpa senior moments or a president who has a strange great uncle who's been uninvited from Thanksgiving senior moments? At the same event, Trump claimed he'd mixed up Nikki Haley and Nancy Pelosi on purpose. I purposely mix up like a name like Birdbrain. You know who Birdbrain is, right, Nicky? With Nancy Pelosi. I put them in because they're interchangeable in my mind.

Trump went on, it's like when doctors asked me to draw a clock and I put all the numbers on one side because that's a cool artistic clock. Trump also vowed to defund public schools that require vaccines. And I will not give one penny to any school that has a vaccine mandate or mask mandate. Forget the three R's. We're moving on to the three P's, prayer, polio and possums. Why are there possums? Because they're attracted to the smell of urine, obviously. Why is there urine? Because all the non-binary kids have to pee on the side of the school. At a rally in Greensboro earlier in the day, Trump endorsed North Carolina Lieutenant Governor Mark Robinson. This is Martin Luther King on steroids. Okay, now, I told that to Mark. I said, I think you're better than Martin Luther King. I think you are Martin Luther King times two. And he looked at me

and I wasn't sure, was he angry because that's a terrible thing to say or was he complimented? I have never figured it out. And who can forget Martin Luther King on steroids of speech? I have a cream for my back knee problem. I have a cream for my back knee problem, which I recommend reading alongside letters from a Birmingham CrossFit. Kendra, if you love this, you're going to love what you're about to see. Oh, no. Anyway, I asked ChatGBT for a buff Martin Luther King Jr., and we got this. It's weird how his muscles come through the jacket. He's just too buff for any pants to possibly fit.

He's so buff. What a buff dude. Kendra? What a buff dude. Kendra, what are your thoughts? Hey, I don't think you... Stop. Just ask a black woman?

Is that what this is? Well, we did surprise her with this. I think it's fair to ask her reaction. Shouldn't have to stifle her visceral reaction to this. Almost as racist as Jungle Primary, like, kind of feels. It certainly feels disrespectful, I will say that. It doesn't seem to disrespect a great

American hero. I just think, so, right, Mark, for those listening, obviously, that is the whole problem. You're right, there's a lot of problems with it. For the record, ChatGPT is not allowed to spit out images that look like any specific person. So it actually is a person evoking the spirit of Buff Martin Luther King Jr. Honestly, it looks more like Michael Jordan, at least from my angle.

He also is on the National Mall, which I do think really makes it. Anyway, Mark Robinson is expected to win his. Mark Robinson, who is black for those listening. That wasn't clear from the context. Oh, no, I got that. He was expected to win his primary to face Democratic Attorney General Josh Stein in the race for governor to fill the job currently held by Democrat and friend of the show, Roy Cooper. The stakes are impossibly high. Republicans control both houses of the legislature.

And Robinson, despite Trump's musings, is an anti-Semitic, anti-trans Facebook meme posting maniac. At a campaign event last month, Robinson also vowed to ban abortion in the state. He said, we got it down to 12 weeks. The next goal is to get it down to six and then just keep going from there. Continued Robinson, eventually we'd like to get it down to negative two weeks where it'll be illegal for any woman to not be pregnant. That's the dream. Shoot for the moon. And even if you miss, you'll land among the weeping women outside a crisis pregnancy center that used to be a Planned Parenthood.

There's a picture that came out this weekend of Robinson, Tim Scott, and then two other, like, I guess, high-level GOP black guys. Googled all their wives. They look exactly like what Cat Williams said that all those other people's wives look like. Just wanted to throw that out there. Just a crowd of mindy-noses. Just a crowd of funny-looking silent women.

A crowd of Mindy-noses is called a dry bar. I heard. A dry bar of Mindy-noses. Speaking of the hell our Supreme Court is wrought, on Monday, our nine legal eagles ruled that states cannot invoke the 14th Amendment's insurrection clause to remove Trump from the ballot. Instead, each state will be allowed to sternly wag their finger at Trump and go,

How do you do that? Tsk, tsk? Yeah, cluck your tongue. Oh. And then immediately get slapped when your pal is like, don't suck your teeth at me. Oh, I've never heard that term before. Yeah. I never used, we never had that growing up. I never got. No, the Jewish community will just tell you exactly. Right, right. That's right. That's right. It's not to spell it out in words. That's right. That's why we didn't have it

wrote the court. Nothing in the Constitution requires that we endure such chaos. Thank goodness. I hate chaos. Anyway, bring on the next Trump presidency. While all nine justices agreed that a state cannot unilaterally disqualify a candidate from the presidential ballot, five conservative justices went much further, saying that Congress needed to prescribe certain processes to ascertain whether a candidate is disqualified under the 14th Amendment. For example, Congress could throw the candidate into a body of water to see whether the candidate floats. The problem is that this process does not exist as of today and runs counter to the plain language of the amendment, which is said to be self-executing.

And I get it. Even just talking about this presidential election makes me want to self-execute. This is why Justices Elena Kagan, Sonia Sotomayor, Katonji Brown-Jackson, and friend of the show, Amy Coney Barrett, refuse to join the majority on that point. In a separate opinion, the liberal justices accuse the liberal justices accused the conservative justices of a level of overreach that attempts to insulate all alleged insurrectionists from future challenges to their holding federal office. Replied the conservative majority, hey now, give us some credit. We didn't attempt to do that. We succeeded. Justice Barrett wrote separately, agreeing with the three liberal justices that the ruling goes too far, but taking

issue with their tone, saying the court should turn the national temperature down, not up. She declined to criticize her fellow conservatives directly and said, for present purposes, our differences are far less important than our unanimity. All nine justices agree on the outcome of this case. That is the message Americans should take home. This is the most Catholic mom shit imaginable. We might be on the third hour of our drag-out family fight. We might be seconds away from never speaking again.

But when the waitress comes over, you'll put on a smile so bright everyone in this Olive Garden will know nothing is, ever has been, or ever will be wrong with this family. Do I make myself clear? It's like I'm back. It's like I'm there. It's like I'm in the Olive Garden. Yeah.

That comes from your Catholic upbringing. We're all bringing so much to this. I would say as a Catholic, great that six of the nine Supreme Court justices are Catholic. Great idea, everybody. No notes. Things are going great. Because you're worried they're being controlled by the Pope,

that they're being papally influenced. That was the concern, right? Well, I mean... They're the Pope's puppets, like Kennedy. Puppets. They're puppets. Listen, and it is... Well, now we have the woke Pope.

And now it's like, who knows what to believe? Who knows what to... Now we get the woke Pope. Before we go today, at Trump's rally over the weekend, this woman sang the national anthem and absolutely crushed. To the perilous fight

For the elders we've watched awesome 10 out of 10 no notes yeah what's what what is worse do you is worse forgetting the lyrics or fully fucking the note at the end like maybe that was just a strategy to bail before getting to the note that she knew she couldn't hit. Interesting. I think the lyrics, you got to get the lyrics on the anthem. And then I think everyone knows it's hard. It's an impossible song to sing. It's a bad song. It's insane.

There was a moment where people were talking about having a different, like kind of like getting behind a new anthem. And I was all, there was a, there was a, this land is your, this land is my land. This land is your land. And I love that. Yeah. Didn't Canada switch theirs up? Make it easier to sing? Did they?

Maybe. I mean, God Blessica is a great song yeah god in there it's very it's very religious yeah yeah but this one's just about bombs that's not great either right it's also lift every voice and sing what we did right with lift every voice and sing it's great lift every voice and sing would be nice yeah Yeah. Fight song, a banger. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anything from, you know, I think, yeah. I could probably, if Taylor decided to sort of do her version. Has she ever sang a national anthem?

I don't think she has the range. I was going to say that it doesn't seem in her wheelhouse. I'm really sorry. This is not, that's not even like a, I dislike Taylor Swift thing. I just genuinely don't think she has the vocal range to sing she could do it name one song where she has vocal range yeah please i don't know range i mean well there you have it there you have it why are they all like kind of in the yeah you people like maybe that maybe it's so that it's everyone can sing with her you know should everyone be singing I know I shouldn't be singing.

I think she could do it. All right. Taylor, we invite you. Sing the national anthem. On this very program. Yeah, come on in. In this studio. That would be something.

You can sit at the table or on the couch, wherever you want. Whichever one you feel more comfortable with. Yeah. How do we feel about this new layout? I'm loving it. I mean, I'll wear a sitting dress next time, but you know. That's what kind of dress is that? This is a flouncing around dress.

Oh. I love a good flounce. Are you enjoying it? Yeah, I like it. Yeah. Milo, what do you think? Hell yeah, Milo. Editorial director Milo. Milo's so even-keeled, you know? Guys, we should all be taking three-hours three hours yes i

don't like i'm just like i feel like i get in there then it's so cold like right now like it's like the layer of cold over the bath water so here's can i tell you what you do yes please you fill up full steaming hot just full steaming hot two thirds that sounds great or three fourths depending on what your tolerance is thank you and then your last fourth or third is all cold water. And that is how it evens out. You don't try to just do like lukewarm water the whole time because you'll fuck up. You'll never get what you want. You just got to go full and full.

Here's what I do. Okay. I, I, I, I just say fuck it. Tell us how you bathe. I get in at a low ebb. I get in lower. Okay. All right.

So that I can, so that, so that. You can play with it. You fill in. So, so yeah, so that's right. So that I'm like, that I'm adjusting in real time. Oh, I do that. But that for me is what happens once the water starts getting a little cold. So about an hour in or what hour are we at in the bath?

Honestly, because I go so scalding hot, we're talking like, it takes me a full episode of like Bitch Sash or Lost Gulch. So that's anywhere from like 60 to 90 minutes. And then you're draining a little bit and then you're filling again with the scalding hot.

You're not trying to tempt control. You're just doing scalding hot. You're supposed to relax in there. Oh, I am. I'm fully relaxed. I'm so relaxed that sometimes my husband is knocking on the door like, are you okay? Are we talking 7 to 10, 8 to 11?

Where are we? We're usually talking genuinely. I start, if I'm working from home, my tub is so big, it takes about 20, 25 minutes to fill. You have a time. So we get off work around 6.30. I'm usually filling it by 6.15 so that by the time I'm shutting my laptop, I'm getting straight in the tub. Now, is this an elaborate way to not talk to your husband? Because if I was him, I'd be like, she's in there again for three hours.

Is this your golf? Actually, yes. This is my golf. I do need something like this. It's not this. This is too complicated, but I support it. You get to get like accessories. You get to spend a lot of time at lunch.

I do like spending money. You get to get like a nice teak thing that goes over the tub. I do want that. I don't take baths, but I do like the sprays. I just feel like I would immediately drop my phone or my computer in the bathtub just knowing me. Oh. Just knowing me. There was a period, I will admit this, and former guest on the show, Casey Wilson, does not know this.

She saved my, fully saved my life. I used to hold my phone over the tub like this while it was still plugged in. Bad, bad idea. I know. No, I know. Love, it's giving me a look. my phone over the tub like this while it was still plugged in bad bad idea i should i know no i know i love it's giving me a look i don't i actually think you'd be fine but i still think it's bad it's a bad it was a bad bad idea and then you don't want to go out like that everyone's like well like you don't actually die yeah and then there was an episode of bitch sash i was listening to it in the tub and casey wilson started talking about how you should not do it

how you should not be doing that and i immediately i dropped my phone i was like i'm never doing it again so shout out to Casey Wilson. Thank you for that. Yeah. It'd be a lot harder to make this show. Thank you, Casey. Yeah. And that's our show. Thank you to Kendra. Thank you to Hallie. Thank you to Sarah.

Thank you to everybody here in the studio. See you slots on Saturday. Bye. see you slots on Saturday bye bye If you're already doom scrolling, don't forget to follow us at Crooked Media on Instagram and Twitter. You can also find Love It or Leave It on YouTube for access to your favorite segments and other exclusive content.

And if you're as opinionated as we are, consider dropping us a review. Finally, you can join our Friends of the Pod subscription community for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and a great discussion on Discord. Plus, it's a great way to get involved with Vote Save America. So sign up today at crooked.com slash friends. Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett, and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer, and Chris Lord is our producer. Hallie Keeper is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles, and Mahana Del Shiki are our writers. Evan Sutton is our

editor. Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer, and Milo Kim is our videographer. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure. Thanks to our designer, Bernardo Serna, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast, and to our digital designer, Bernardo Serna, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, Zuri Ervin, David Toles, Claudia Sheng, Mia Kelman,

and Matt DeGroat for filming and editing video each week so you can. It's love it or leave it. Get those ballots in. Vote! You got strangers in yet? I did.

No. I'm going to do it literally. I'm doing it. Yeah. Have you voted? Have you filled it out? I filled it out. I'm going to fill it out right now. Yeah.. Yeah. Have you voted? Have you filled it out? I filled it out. I'm going to fill it out right now.

Yeah. Knew we wouldn't have time yesterday. Tuesdays are busy around here. Yeah. All right. Let's put a caboose on this train. All right. I think there's plenty there.

Thank you. Thank you. Thanks, everybody. 1136, not bad.