Lovett or Leave It - You Can't McConnell an Honest Man

Episode Date: July 29, 2017

Trumpcare dies in the Senate! Priebus is bounced from the motorcade! Plus the Mooch toots his own horn, as it were. Recorded LIVE at the Comedy Store, Jon breaks down yet another insane week with writer Ira Madison, actor Brett Gelman, comedian Amanda Seales, reporter Jake Sherman, and Crooked Media's own Jon Favreau. Plus, how about not checking your phone during the one hour a week when we're watching Game of Thrones? Possible?

I just want to let the music play for a second. Hey guys! I mean... Did you guys see what happened this week? Okay, we've got a lot to get through. How you guys doing? You know It is a dark time. There are more losses to come.

The national emergency continues. But today is a good day. And before we get to our amazing panel, I wanted to bring out Pod Save America co-host, your friend and mine, Jon Favreau. Come on in. Hey, Jon. What is up? What a week. Is that your line?

I'm enjoying your enthusiasm. At the moment. See? I'm very, I'm very, I'm enjoying your enthusiasm. At the moment. See what I'm getting at? But I'm, but I'm enjoying it. And I want you to feel good about it. He was outside our office today. Oh, that's good. That's reassuring.

So I saw him as I walked out. That's, that's not alarming at all. Hi, John. Hi, John. Hi, John. Thanks for being here tonight. Thanks for having me. So I wanted to bring you out here because I don't know if you guys all saw this, but last night, the effort to repeal Obamacare did fail.

And it failed in this extraordinary way. It was dramatic. It was exciting. And we were last night. So I was watching C-SPAN on my laptop. As he does. Well, I unplugged my cable box to plug in a Nintendo Switch. Because I didn't have enough HDMI cables.

And I never plugged it back in. And we were all on a WhatsApp chain. And finally, Emily tweeted at me that I should come over. And so I came over within five seconds. And with our dogs and our laptops, we slowly watched basically two things unfolding at the same time. One was Twitter remaining incredibly cynical.

And just not willing to be at all hopeful. And we were closet optimists. We were. We were closet optimists all week. Yes. We were afraid the cool kids would yell at us for showing too much enthusiasm.

For believing that maybe John McCain would do the right thing. And we, and like... See, you're even afraid now. Everyone's afraid. You're afraid to clap. So when we first heard that John McCain was coming back to vote on this thing,

and that he was going to vote yes on the motion to proceed, and then give a speech, we talked about this at the office. Because I said, I was like, okay, I know this is going to be crazy, but John McCain, when he was first sick and in Arizona, issued a statement on the last bill that was like, we should go to regular order, we should have a bipartisan process. And I'm like, he's coming all the way back. He wants to do the defense bill. Also, like this man is now he has brain cancer. He's gone through this illness. He knows what it's like to have to go to a hospital and get cared for. He also like he has no political pressure. John McCain has to answer to no one at this point.

He hates fucking Donald Trump. He owes these people nothing. So I'm like, maybe, eh, maybe he might do the right thing. And then he gave the speech. And as he's giving the speech, we're in the office and I was like, love it. Love it. This is, it's happening.

It's happening. It's happening. And we're looking at the speech and we're like, this is not a speech that's like, give me 50 billion and I'll vote for Skinny Repeal. No. And then on Twitter, everyone's like, fuck that. He's going to disappoint you again. This isn't an Aaron Sorkin show. You are Bob.

So I was like, I'm looking at it. I'm like, I don't want to touch that. Maybe you're right. I mean, it's not. It's not an Aaron Sorkin show. This is not an Aaron Sorkin. We are not living in an Aaron Sorkin show. That is not an Aaron Sorkin show. We are not living in an Aaron Sorkin show. That is not.

Have you been watching what's been going on? It is not. Sorkin has nothing to do with this. It's not. I don't remember anything in Sorkin about sucking your... All right. We'll get to it. We'll get to it.

One thing at a time. But slowly over the course of the night, it became more and more clear that actually the cynicism was wrong. That he meant what he said. That he was willing to vote no. And it was great. I remember the first tweet I saw was Matt Fuller at the Huffington Post. It was like, John McCain just walked in.

Chuck Schumer put his arm around him. They're laughing. He talked to John Cornyn. John Cornyn has a frown face. And I read that tweet to my wife and Emily was like, don't do it. Don't hope. And I'm like, I'm hoping. I'm hoping.

We're hoping. I'm going to hope. And even all day yesterday we were saying, just hope. It was okay to hope. And then over the course, yeah, Stephen Dennis at Bloomberg was like, I have news, tweeted. Tick-tock. Waiting. Healthcare. First of all,

also, just the fact that we were in a position of, like, reading people's faces is just a reminder of how fucked this whole process was. Like, how dare you people? The body language? Yeah, we're reading body language. It's like, oh my God, Schumer and McCain are doing the OA movements together.

How many of you people watch the OA? You know exactly what I'm talking about. We're in Los Angeles, so. I'm going to do, hold on. I'm going to do one, and because it's a podcast, nobody at home will see it. Nobody take a picture. I'm not going to do this with you.

That's it. Did half an OA movement and it was half-hearted at best. So John McCain does this heroic thing, but he's getting a lot of credit, deservedly so, but a lot of other people had to step up and make this possible. So before we get to all the activists, one thing that also happened is a bunch of Democrats from Trump states never wavered. People like Joe Donnelly, Claire McCaskill, John Tester, Heidi Heitkamp, and Joe Manchin. Joe Manchin came on the pod, was unwavering in his opposition to the bill and working on his colleague, Shelley Moore, I will do whatever I'm told, Caputo. Capito? Capito. Who cares?

Who cares now? Who cares? Who cares? And all the activists that did incredible work to make this happen. Well, and look, that's why it was interesting hearing McCain's speech and the reaction to McCain's speech, because I was like, it was the first time I realized what a number Donald Trump has done to our national psyche. Right. Because it's like we've always been cynical and there's always some cynicism in politics, especially around reporters and people who follow it in D.C. follow it in DC. But like, you understand why people feel so cynical that obviously John McCain's not going to do the right thing because we have Donald Trump as president and people don't do the right thing. And there's no cost for doing the wrong thing. We spent the last year watching

someone pay no price for treating our country like a toilet. Yeah. So like, I understand that. But then when you think about the activists, when you think about the people who went to the rallies, But then when you think about the activists, when you think about the people who went to the rallies, went to the Senate offices, made the calls, the people with disabilities who were sitting in wheelchairs outside Senate offices who were taken away by the police because they were protesting for like 24 hours and wouldn't leave, you realize like, you know what? We should be able to hope, right? Because it's like it is easy to be cynical and it is easy to – because when you're cynical, you never get disappointed, right? Because it's like, it is easy to be cynical and it is easy to, because when you're cynical, you never get disappointed, right? And it's like, but... And we've been talking about this a lot. Being too cynical is not smarter than being too optimistic.

And it's very easy. And it's not. And we have been through, we are in the middle of a crisis and we have to call it that every day. And too many people have failed the biggest moral test of their lives. We'll get to a few of them are in the middle of a crisis and we have to call it that every day and too many people have failed the biggest moral test of their lives. We'll get to a few of them later in the show. But

we are surprising them. We are winning fights that we have no business winning. They control the Senate. They control the House. They control the White House. And we are stopping them. We can win. I was just thinking, like, I was on, we were both on the Kerry campaign.

John Kerry loses in 2004. George W. Bush wins. Republicans win the Congress. We think all is lost. I can't believe George Bush wins a second term. 2005, the Democrats, even though they don't control congress or the white house stop social security privatization 2006 democrats take the house and the senate in the landslide

2008 Barack Obama is president of the United States like things change very very fast and I just think we have to remember that now and it's a long slog but we should take this moment and be proud and be hopeful and be hopeful

and that's it. That's it. That's our cynicism journey. Yeah, that's our cynicism journey. And you know what? We're not going to be closet optimists anymore. We're going to speak our truth, you know? This is what led us to think that Hillary was going to win.

Yeah, fuck. Alright. Thanks, John. Everybody, give it up for Jon Favreau. When we come back, our panel will break down the week. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. I want to bring out our panel.

She is from the show Insecure on HBO, and her Instagram stories are pretty cool, too. Amanda Seals. He stars in and co-wrote the upcoming film Lemon. He has also starred in Fleabag, Twin Peaks, Love, and another Period, Brett Gelman. He is a senior writer for Politico and co-author of Politico's playbook, Jake Sherman. And he is an entertainment writer for the Daily Beast and a columnist for GQ. Welcome back to the show, Ira Madison.

Hey, everybody. Hi. Hi. Thank you guys for being here. Thank you. Ted's. I apologize for the fact that I have a smile that will not leave my face today. Because a lot of things have happened.

Healthcare failed. Reince is out. Scaramucci is doing his thing. I cannot believe Donald Trump using the Boy Scouts as an opportunity to attack his political rivals at a jamboree in West Virginia was a week ago. Feels like a year ago.

So let's get into all of it. Jake, I wanted to start with you. Uh-oh. These are softball questions. We want our guests to feel like they're having a nice time. So I want to start with you. If you have any insights

into what's happened since this health care bill, sort of what you've learned, what's going to be in tomorrow's playbook? That's a good question. I'll answer it at 5 a.m. So I think Republicans are absolutely nowhere on this and we saw that in the last couple days.

I think there are going to be efforts to revive this process. But if you and what we like to do at Playbook, subscribe. Politico.com slash Playbook. Alright. We're doing plugs at this point. I promise. How worried are you that I wasn't going to come back to you

For another question I was worried that I wouldn't be funny enough So I have to get it at the front end I got the Politico app on my phone Thank you How do you enjoy it? I love it Good

So I love it So there were some answer a goddamn question i'm trying step it up you're doing plugs i haven't heard anything from you so so um there were some conservatives at the white house trying to cut a deal trying to talk to trump but if you put and we like to do this politically if you try to put these guys on truth serum, what they would say is that Republicans are all over the map when it comes to health care.

They don't agree on the substance. They don't agree on the politics. They don't agree on the implications for their party. So those are really important things that I don't think, I don't see them getting better for Republicans over the next six to eight months. And remember, we're at the end of July. The government's going to shut down at the end of September.

The debt ceiling needs to be raised. And the president has promised to complete tax reform by the end of the year. Now, I read in a little publication called Axios that that was on target, that that was going to be done by August. Thoughts? You're the worst. No, listen, I think, so what Anna Palmer, who's my co-author, who's here somewhere in the audience. Where's Anna? What we say is like, you wouldn't hire your gardener to be your dentist. If he was a really good gardener, you wouldn't hire your gardener

to be your dentist if he was a really good gardener you wouldn't hire him to be your dentist so you wouldn't hire a really good hedge fund manager to run the tax reform process because he doesn't have any experience so when Steven Mnuchin the treasury secretary says we're going to complete tax reform which is like really

complicated this isn't easy stuff we're going to complete it by the end of the year you kind of wonder what information he has at hand that leads him to believe that. And the people we talk to on Capitol Hill wonder the same. It's a lot of wondering all the time.

Wonder Years was a great show, wasn't it? I love the Wonder Years. You've got Joe Cocker singing. What would you do if I sang out of tune? And people just fleeing, fleeing the White House. Old home video footage.

People tripping over each other, trampling each other at the doorway. Fires in the middle of the lawn. Nobody knows why. Yeah. That is really good. Just providing a soundtrack. That was the most magnificent improv that's ever taken place

during Love It or Leave It. So now on to what's also been happening inside of the White House this week. Today, Reince Priebus was fired as White House Chief of Staff. I don't know if technically you can call it a firing or if he resigned. Yes, technically he had been fired yesterday, but the news held until today.

Jake, I'm going to go back to you. Well, you had an insight about what happened on the plane today. So, Reince traveled with the President to New York today on Air Force One where the president was giving a speech about MI-13, the gang on Long Island that he says he's going to eradicate with the attorney general that he's bad-mouthing every day.

So from what we've heard, Peter King, the congressman from New York, from that district, was on the plane sitting in the conference room with Reince Priebus on the way up, and Reince and the president were being totally normal. And then when they landed at Andrews Air Force Base back in Washington, the president told the group of people who were traveling back to Washington, I just hired John Kelly, the Homeland Security Secretary, as my chief of staff, and Reince was gone off the back of the plane and had gone back to presumably Wisconsin, because they all go back, right? They don't ever go back.

What would you do? Wisconsin, because they all go back, right? They don't ever go back. They stay in Washington. What would you do if this thing had a tune? So, Ira, this... Do you think that Donald Trump thinks

that he is still hosting The Apprentice? I don't know. I think he's like... I think he thinks it's a new game show. Like, The Apprentice had different elements to it. You know, like there are cameras everywhere. I mean, I wonder what Trump does

when he walks around the White House and there aren't cameras. He watches TV. He watches TV. He watches TV. But I feel like he probably also looks to the camera when he's doing things. Like when he was on the plane, there's no reason to fire somebody

and then have them hang out with you the next day. Unless you think you're on a TV show. somebody and then have them hang out with you the next day. Unless you think you're on a TV show. Well, what's amazing is, apparently they get off Air Force One and Priebus, Dan Scavino, golf caddy turned social media

manager, and Stephen Miller, C-plus Santa Monica fascist, and Priebus, they all get into an SUV together, and I guess apparently they're in this SUV for a minute or two, and there's cameras and people taking pictures, and then Scavino and Miller get out and get into another vehicle, and they make Priebus leave separately, and the presidential motorcade leaves without him.

Why do you feel bad for him? Let him wallow in it. It was like Jurassic Park when the kids get abandoned in the car because the guy sees the T-Rex coming. But then he gets eaten in the bathroom. Yeah, so... Did that happen?

Who's the dinosaur in this? It's funny. There are a lot of these tropes out there. Last night, when John and I and Emily were watching Healthcare Vote and we saw Collins and Murkowski and McCain all get separated

and surrounded by separate groups of badgering Republicans, we thought, have you not seen a horror movie? Stick together. and surrounded by separate groups of badgering Republicans. We thought, what? Have you not seen a horror movie? Stick together. You got to stay together. There's safety in numbers.

They're going to come around a corner and it's going to be like, clever girl. Murakowski was like, did I hear something? I'm going to go check it out. No, Murakowski, you stay with the group. check it out. No! Rakowski, you stay with the group. Which brings us, of course,

to Anthony Scaramucci. The Mooch. Was it Monday that he was... How long... Was it last week? Was it a year ago? when did he go to the podium and do a good job one time

that was Friday so Friday he goes to the podium and does a good job one time and then he did not do a good job after that I'm just waiting for him to start like doing Andrew Dice Clay nursery rhymes Good job. After that. I'm just waiting for him to start, like,

doing Andrew Dice Clay nursery rhymes up there. Just be like, you know, hickory dickory dock. Smash Bannon in the head with a fucking rock. Oh! Oh! I mean, we went from, from like Tim Conway to Dice you know Spicer

Spicer's Tim Conway Spicer's Tim Conway is he I guess he is so I don't know what there is to say except Scaramucci calls Ryan Lizza of the New Yorker

seemingly having been drinking, though we cannot confirm that, though Peter King, congressman from Long Island, made a comment on television saying, this is the kind of thing that some people do after a long political dinner, which was a reference to drinking. Oh, I thought it was fuck a prostitute, but okay. A reference to drinking. Oh, I thought it was fuck a prostitute, but okay.

No, that's... That's also, I think... I mean, I think sometimes that's on the agenda. It's assumed. In this case, it's called Ryan Lizza. Maybe some cocaine. You know, I don't want to speculate. It's a triad. There's a real...

Look, Donald Trump is what would happen if cocaine became president. Right. There's a real... Look. Donald Trump is what would happen if cocaine became president. Right. So... I like cocaine, though. So then maybe he's what would happen if crack became president. Trump does want to kill the black community.

different ballgame. Trump does want to kill the black community. That was a real Pippin Jordan moment right there and it was amazing. That was impressive. I just want to note that one person who is an employee of the White House called the New Yorker and cursed,

threatened to kill people, leaked, whined, and spoke of himself in the third person. Ooh. And he was not the one who was fired. I was surprised the, uh, I think Scaramucci said this on

CNN the next day. He said, I called him Italian to Italian. I was surprised that that didn't elicit a... What about... You worked at the White House. Did you ever... Yeah, whenever I... Look, any time I talk to a fellow Jew,

it is off the record. That's implied. It gets complicated. That's 100% guaranteed if they're Ashkenazi. I'm an Ashkenazi Jew. If you're dealing with a Sephardic... This is off the record. If I'm dealing with a Sephardic Jew,

you feel it out. Because there's different... Their kugel is different. They serve different things at Passover. So you got to figure it out. It would have been different, though, that call. It would have been you talking about, like,

your hemorrhoids. And, uh... Ugh, this guy Pribis, he's giving me such suras. So, Pribis is out. Scaramucci is in. Kelly is in. John Kelly Kelly currently the Homeland Security

Cabinet Secretary. I would note that word came out out of the Department of Homeland Security that this announcement was unexpected and they have no plan in place for an acting secretary. Absolute ridiculous. One of those things that like in any other

time would be a huge scandal. I know it's politics, but these are real jobs. You kind of want somebody in that job. So Kelly's out. Kelly's in. Priebus is out. Scaramucci is in. Scaramucci's wife is also out. Scaramucci.

You can keep it. We're going to leave it. And I just wanted, as you know, look, last week we made an appeal to Sean Spicer. We proposed a podcast, and given that Reince and Sean seem to be close and are cut from a similar cloth, I thought it would be important to reach out to Reince Priebus as well. Jesse, can we go to the next slide and can we start the song?

laughter Reince. Prebys. It's me. John Lovett. We've never met. But as always, I've had your best interest at heart. If you remember, this all began with a pledge,

a Trump pledge you had him sign, because you were afraid that Donald Trump would run as an independent and defeat the Republican. What a year it's been. Now, I hope it didn't hurt your feelings when I said during the campaign and after that you were in the darkest and most shameful chapter of your life and that you knew it. And I also hope that you didn't take too great offense when I said in March of 2016 that you would have to leave politics in the middle of the night with what you could carry.

leave politics in the middle of the night with what you could carry. But here you are, back where you started. And I think it's time to talk about a new pledge. A pledge to tell us what happened. To redeem yourself. To make up for the greatest mistake you've ever met in your life, which is to abandon any principle and work for Donald Trump, a man who never liked you, never respected you, and has made you a fool every day you have been near him for over a year.

Now, we've already offered this show to Sean Spicer. It is called Pond Save My Soul. And though he has not yet responded, his agent tells me he's technically available, and I'm considering him a soft yes. We're really hoping that you two can work together and have a really great no-bullshit conversation about what it's like

to abandon your principles to work for the worst person America's produced in half a century. Reince Priebus, you can still be a hero in this story. You just have to call your friends at Crooked Media, and as I say every week,

follow me back. And together, we can make a really great podcast about the worst year of your life. Thank you. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It

coming up. And we're back. Amanda's taking a panorama to send to Reince Priebus to let him know the audience that awaits him if he can just call his friends at Crooked Media. Now for a segment called OK Stop. This is where we watch a clip and we break it down.

Today, Trump delivered a speech on law and order on Long Island to discuss his... Yeah, yeah. Never ceases to amaze me. You guys don't miss a thing. His efforts to combat the MS-13 gang violence. Let's roll the clip. We have your backs 100%. his efforts to combat the MS-13 gang violence. Let's roll the clip.

We have your backs 100%. Not like the old days. Not like the old days. You know, when you want to take over used military equipment, they were saying you couldn't do it. You know what I said. That was my first day. You can do it. In fact, that stuff is disappearing so fast we have none left.

It's essential that Congress fund another 10,000 ICE officers, and we're asking for that, so that we can eliminate MS-13 and root out the criminal cartels from our country. Now, we're getting them out anyway, but we'd like to get them out a lot faster. And when you see these towns, and when you see these thugs being thrown into the back of a paddy wagon, you just see them thrown in, rough. I said, please don't be too nice. Okay, stop. So, this is what he does.

So, first of all, this is in front of a group of police officers right and this is trump giving people permission to cheer for things that a year ago a president would never say in their presence and a year ago they would know it's not something whether they believe it or not it's not something they should be cheering in public well you know there's this weird because i hear people laughing as they're watching it because like he's such a fucking fucktard that you're like, it almost seems, it's surreal. You know, it's surreal to watch. And so you laugh because you feel like you're watching a movie. And then you realize that the same way that we're laughing, there are people watching like, yes, finally, you know, permission.

And they were already given permission just by like the institutionalized racism that exists in this country in the first place and so for it to be actually verbalized it only further cements you know this this reality that people are already living and now there's even more folks that are like oh cool we can do this i mean there, there is a troll on YouTube right now who is, like, typing nigger to me based on this video. Like, that's happening. Don't call me out like that. You know my pain.

But, like, that's... So I just... So backstage, I hadn't seen this video, and I was like, you know what? Let's just have a real-time experience. But also, I love how he fashions himself as this Oprah of military equipment. You get, yeah.

Because he's like, this military equipment was just lying there. There's none left. I gave it all to you guys. Lying where? Like, just in stasis. How many of the cops, the disturbing,

one of the disturbing, many disturbing questions I have is how many of the police in that room looked at each other and said, he's right, we have been too nice. Yeah. Well, it's also, yeah, so on the military equipment front, he's very clearly

by osmosis seen that there's been stories about the militarization of the police and efforts to walk that back because it's dangerous and it's ultimately been destructive. And he didn't absorb any of this, but he remembered when he was standing up there. Well, because it looked cool.

That's how basic he is. He's like, oh man, they look freaking cool. Let's do it. One thought being the one Washingtonian in here, don't shoot me, please. You hear this and you wonder, you shouldn't wonder why

a lot of people in D.C. don't want to deal with him on issues, I mean, forget healthcare, but criminal justice reform and things of that nature. And we've said this a bunch of times in our reporting, like this is the kind of stuff that just turns people off and not on a party basis. I mean, there are a lot of Republicans who watch us

and they're like, this is not... A lot? Yeah, there are. There are. A couple. Four? No, there are a lot. A few? Look, there are a lot. A few?

Look, criminal justice reform, there is a bipartisan consensus. The people that have been outside of it. This is not part of the bipartisan consensus, though. No, well, one of the few people, Tom Cotton, but also Jeff Sessions, are the two people most outside the mainstream of this issue, that there was a criminal justice bill that could have become law, but for the fact that Jeff Sessions... Rand Paul was a part of it, too. Yeah, Rand Paul, it was bipartisan,

and Jeff Sessions quashed it with the help of Mitch McConnell and Tom Cotton. And then Jeff Sessions, of course, becomes Attorney General and becomes this radical anti-reform person at the helm of power in the Justice Department. Like when you guys put somebody in the car and you're protecting their head, you know, the way you put their hand over, like don't hit their head and

they've just killed somebody, don't hit their head. I said, you can take the hand away, okay? Let's clap for it. It's essential that Congress fund hundreds more federal immigration judges and prosecutors, and we need them quickly, quickly. If we're going to dismantle these deadly networks, and I have to tell you, you know, the laws are so horrendously stacked against us, because for years and years they've been made to protect the criminal. Okay, stop. Totally made to protect the criminal.

This is nauseating. What is stacked against you? Also us. Who's us? Let's also take a step back. His party controls Congress. So he's not asking another party to... No. He's talking about judges

that haven't been confirmed under his own party. Right. This isn't a complicated equation. Well, it's also just this, it's fascinating to see because he does this all the time and I think it's instructive that he talks about,

you know, don't rough him up. You know, oh, we're too nice. We're too namby-pamby. Also, we need more ICE people. Also, your towns are under siege from MS-13. And it turns it into this one soup of being pro-law enforcement

means having this kind of fascistic, authoritarian tone. No, absolutely. I mean, there's the consistent... I mean, when I see this, I don't even hear him. I hear Bannon, you know? Like, when I see this,

I feel like I'm watching a puppet that's just saying things that have been talked about around them. It's like when a kid says, like, a curse word for the first time, you're like, where'd you learn that? And you're like, oh. Scaramoochie.

Yeah, there you go. Scaramooch. So, you know, it's, but when I hear this, I wonder, as a black woman in America, I think to myself, like, there's so much work that needs to be done. And as literally, I think to myself, like, there's so much work that needs to be done. And as literally, I think I might be the only black woman in this room. Like, I, yes, I am.

I think I saw one over here. I look to you guys, like, you guys are hella white in here. And like when I said Wilson Phillips, everybody got it. Everybody got it. These are the bridge in your head. I don't want anyone... Everybody said it.

But I, I, it's comforting, because I'm not really in this company on a regular basis, and it's comforting to see everybody be as shocked and dismayed as I am. And I just really genuinely wonder, like, what do we do when it's this off the rails? This is so, this is next level off the rails. And it's, well, it's fascinating because he's saying out loud the things that used to be the things that were either implied or said behind closed doors. And it gives permission people to laugh and applaud and expose to something.

or said behind closed doors, and it gives permission people to laugh and applaud and expose to something, the lesson to draw is authoritarian tendencies, the tendency towards promoting state violence of permission is dangerous. It's dangerous long before you get to some

kind of a cataclysm. It is dangerous right now, even if Donald Trump is just some two-bit hack who lucked into a job he is flunking out of and we will get rid of him it is dangerous long before you're talking about a dictator it's dangerous every day you're in more jeopardy than they are these laws are stacked against you we're changing those laws he's not he's not all right let's call it judges I'm not changing those laws he's's not. He's not. He's not changing those laws.

He's not. He cannot. He can't pass anything. He could try, but the president has not gotten involved in the legislative process. He's not trying to change these laws. That's another one of his favorite things to do, by the way. Say,

we're changing this. We're about to do this. And he hasn't even picked up a pen. He hasn't even Googled it. He has no idea. That's the Jaren. The Jaren covers. It's like, I'm parking. Are you?

How far are you? How far are you? I'm just getting there. Are you? Are you? Pulling up. When we come back, a new segment, Mooch on Hooch.

And we're back. Now for a segment called Mooch on Hooch. As a disclaimer, again, we don't know if he was drinking, but he made a phone call to Ryan Lizza. As a disclaimer, again, we don't know if he was drinking, but he made a phone call to Ryan Lizza. Ryan Lizza was on the record, the Mooch comms director for the White House,

not aware of how that worked. Would anyone like to play the game in the crowd, Mooch on Hooch? Let's go to a friend of the pod right in the front row. What's your name? Ryan. Hi, Ryan. Have you been following the Ryan-Lizza-Mooch colloquy? Yes. Okay. So he called and ranted about Prebys and the rest of his colleagues at the White House. It was all pretty nuts. Let's see how well you were paying attention. Your job

will be to fill in the blank. We will start with Amanda. Are you okay with filling in? You can say all the words? You'll say all the words? Honestly, it didn't occur to me to ask because you have a beard and a tattoo and I felt like we were going to be

fine. We're good. Amanda, kick us off. Scaramucci also told me that unlike other senior officials, he had no interest in media attention. I'm not Steve Bannon. I'm not trying to...

Suck my own cock. Ryan, you are one for one. Incredible. I love the performance. Yes. Brett, take us into quote number two. They're going to get harder.

All right, calm down. Your children. This is what he's doing to the culture. The issue, he said, was that he believed Priebus had been worried about the dinner because he hadn't been invited. Reince is a... Paranoid schizophrenic?

Wait. Close. Close. Paranoid fucking schizophrenic. You know what? I'm gonna give it to you. He was a... The order was wrong, but we all know. Fucking paranoid schizophrenic. Yeah. I'd love that you guys just read everything. A story will break 15 minutes before the show,

and you're out there catching up on the news. Did you see what Maggie Haberman just published? You guys are amazing. Haber's gonna habe. Jake, you're up. He channeled Priebus as he spoke. Quote, oh, Bill Shine is coming in. Let me leak the fucking thing

and see if I can blank these people the way I blank Scaramucci for six months. This is a tough one. This is the hardest one, I think. Keep in mind, this is in Prebys' voice. Prebys trying to blank Scaramucci. Something that might happen to a Wall Street bro at a bar. Another bro might roll in, step in.

Cock block. Yes. Ryan, you are killing it Ira you're next you are three for three Ira you are up let's take it home

the swamp will not defeat him he said breaking into the third person they're trying to resist me but it's not going to work I've done nothing wrong on my financial disclosures, so they're going to have to

blank. You're close. What is what he was trying to say that Bannon does to himself, but another kind of that? Something about blowjobs. No, no, no, no.

Getting warmer. You know what? You didn't get it. He said they're going to have to go fuck themselves. Go fuck themselves. But, Ryan, wait. You have one last one. You are three for four.

We're going to call this one the one for all the sheets, all the parachute sheets. This is a tough one, okay? And you're going to have to use context clues. And I will be the one reading it to you, okay? Scaramucci then made a plea to viewers. Quote,

let me tell you something about myself, he said. I am a... Straight shooter. Nailed it. Ryan, four for five. Incredible job. You've won a gift card to Parachute, a wonderful company. This is a dream of mine, to win a gift card to Parachute Cheats for me. I love it. Thank you. We make dreams come true. Ryan, thank you for playing. Thank you. Thank you to our panel for playing the game.

I want everybody to give it up for Amanda Seals, who was a fantastic panelist, and she will not be here for the rant wheel, which is a very big shame. The booing tells you just how much we like to have it here. So give it up for Amanda. Thank you, guys. And when we come back, the rant wheel.

Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back. You guys having a good time? We have a great rant wheel for you tonight. You guys know how it works. The wheel spins, we land on a topic, and we rant about it.

Tonight we have the Candy Crush game show hosted by Mario Lopez. We have Kid Rock's senatorial bid. We have the compatibility of various Apple products. We have people who speak of themselves in the third person. We have Game of Thrones watch parties. We have Dean Heller. We have the Angelina Jolie casting game, which is something I learned about today from Ira and it my jaw dropped to the ground. And finally, audience ingestion. I will note that that used to be called audience today from Ira and it my jaw dropped to the ground and finally audience

ingestion I will note that that used to be called audience choice until somebody shouted choice implies we have to choose from the wheel can we suggest things that are not on the wheel and wherever you are guy who screamed that, I'm sorry that we rewarded you because you seem insufferable. Let's spin the wheel. It has landed on Dean Heller Let's talk about Dean Heller for a second Dean Heller is a senator from Nevada

Many people are calling him Nevada Jesus I'm just trying to help I know you are I've talked about the people who help me pronounce Nevada before Not even going to look at you Let's talk about Dean Heller I've talked about the people who helped me pronounce Nevada before. Not even going to look at you.

Let's talk about Dean Heller. Many people are calling him Dirty Dean Heller. Dirty Dean Heller does whatever his moneyed bosses say. Dirty Dean Heller looks like a used car salesman. This guy, Dirty Dean Heller, I don't know if you know him. He's a dirty politician. He's from Nevada. He's this dirty guy named Dirty Dean Heller. I don't know if you know, but he's a dirty politician.

He's from Nevada. He's this dirty guy named Dirty Dean Heller. He gave a seemingly heartfelt speech standing next to Governor Sandoval of Nevada where he said he would not vote for something that kicked the people of his state off of their health insurance. And then he did the craziest thing. He broke that promise every chance he got.

Here's the bottom line. Dean Heller's a liar. We got to defeat him. That one's going to be fun. Getting Dean Heller out of the Senate is going to be a blast. But it's fun to imagine why he did it, right? Las Vegas is a sin city. Someone came into his office with a manila folder.

And they said, I think you're going to vote no. And he said, I'm voting no. They wanted him to vote yes. And he's like, no, you know, my people don't need this. I don't want to do this to Nevada. And he hems and haws, and then it fails. So then he goes and votes anyway, because now he did his duty to the blackmailer.

But see, here's the thing. Like, jokes aside, the Manila folder said, I will fund a super PAC to defeat you. And he just did what he was told. The crazy thing is he must be worried about somebody coming at him from the right, not from the left, right? Because if you vote for this, right, like that must be, you must imagine that somebody is going to come at you and say,

oh, you didn't vote to do this. So it's a curious vote. He's a coward and a liar. We're going to defeat him. It has landed on Game of Thrones watch parties. Now, before I go too far down this little street,

where are Tommy and Ha... I am being booed by the co-founders of Crooked Media. Tommy, John, I see Hannah, I see Emily. I see four people who have so many interesting things on their phones during Game of Thrones, which is on for one goddamn hour a week. What's happening on Instagram during Game of Thrones? Let's see what my menchies are like during Game of Thrones.

I want one more glass of wine during Game of Thrones. What is wrong with us? We can sit still for one hour. This is the first time a rant has been directed at the people in the crowd. Pundit was barking. No, she was not, Tommy. My dog was a silent angel.

Pundit knows what to do during Game of Thrones. Can't say the same for Cushy. Can't say the same for little Stanley, a dog I'm referencing by name, whose owners know what they did. People should be quiet during Game of Thrones.

My whole problem is I have a one-man watch party when I watch this show. And my whole problem is I get so high I don't remember the episode I watch it again a couple days later I get too high

again how far have you gotten he's been watching Orange is the New Black he's like I hate this season of Game of Thrones. It's just one long prison riot. I mean, look, I was watching Theon Greyjoy, and then I blinked my eyes, and all of a sudden it was friends from college.

It was very weird. It's very weird. There are a lot of white people I can't tell the difference between on Game of Thrones. So it takes me two hours to watch it. Because I watch by myself. And I pause. Like when they were talking about Aegon and the dragons. I'm like, I don't remember who the fuck this is.

So I pause it and I'm on like Wikipedia looking up the history of this and then I read it for like 20 minutes and then I'm like, oh, I know what's going on now. So I'm going to throw something out there and if somebody catches

it, great. If they let it go by, that's fine too. Brett, Ira, you come over. We watch Game of Thrones together. I would love that. Am I not invited? You're not invited, Jake. I would love to have you, but you're on a plane back to D.C.

And I don't know what your Game of Thrones viewing habits are like, but you seem like a person who's... I keep it very private. It seems like you're the kind of guy that's on your phone. Are you? Are you responding? Are you filling in? You've got playbooks go to 5am and you're telling me not during Game of Thrones, you're not doing work? I don't even watch Game of Thrones.

Unbelievable. Let's spin it again. I put the phone in the other room. It's going to be very fun. That's just because you're so high you can't remember where you put it. It's true. Third person. These people that go around giving themselves nicknames

and then using them all the time, calling themselves a straight shooter. What does the straight shooter think? He thinks Dean Teller sucks. I don't get the people referring to themselves in the third person because haven't they heard how other people make fun of people when they do that? Where does this come from? I remember when

Bob Dole used to do it and then that became a funny joke about Bob Dole. I really think everybody should start doing it. Does Brett think that? Just balance it all out. Nobody can really see the forest through the trees at all. Just like Schumer should just be like,

yeah, well, if you come at the Schumer-ing like that, he ain't gonna like it. You know, something like that. No? No, I think that's good. I'll pass that along. But seriously, I mean, imagine the mental state of somebody who thinks that that's an okay thing to do is very, very interesting to me.

I could tell you, and my writing partner Anna is probably cringing and about to throw something at me. The first time we met Scaramucci, the first time I did, was we went up to Trump Tower right after the election, and I was wearing a suit and tie and Scaramucci, I had not been introduced to him before, he picked up my tie and looked and I'm telling you, I'd never met

him. This was our first interaction. He picked up my tie, looked at the label and said, you're wearing a cheap tie. By the way, it really wasn't that cheap of a tie. I mean, maybe it wasn't D.C. cheap, but it was probably like New York cheap.

That's what Jackie Mason said to me. I have the receipt somewhere. That's what Jackie Mason said to me when I saw his show, his live show, and then he tried to sign my autograph book and the pen didn't work. He asked me why I bought such cheap pens. Let's spin it again. It's out of control.

It has landed on the Angelina Jolie casting game. I found out about this earlier today. My jaw dropped. Ira, this is something I think you were passionate about. Can you tell us what this is and what you think about it? So Angelina Jolie just had a profile in Vanity Fair. And they talk about how she casted

the kids in her new film and what they did was these are like poor people in very ravaged countries they put money on a table and asked the kids what would you use this money for and then they would tell, what would you use this money for? And then they would tell them what they'd use the money for.

And then she would take the money away from them. And the person who was the most distraught was the person that she cast. Yes, I traumatized you horribly, but... You get to work with me! That's the upside, poor child. Wow, I didn't know that. What a fucking asshole. How can that be possible?

I know that we, like, started loving humanitarian Angelina Jolie for a few years, but she did used to walk around with a vial of blood. I don't think that's the right way to cast children. I think there should be some more sensitivity involved. Really? But, like, Trump probably did that to his kids growing up, right? Oh, when I see the way Trump has dealt with Sessions and basically

just talking about him and attacking him in the third person for days, you know that that is his parenting technique. You know that he would turn to Eric and say, can you believe what a little shit Don Jr. was? You know that that was in their house. I heard

from somebody, and I don't know if this is true, that... Cool, cool, say whatever. Just say it anyway. You have to say, allegedly. But I could see it being true. That's all that counts, actually. That's fine. Should I not bring it up? No, do it. I can cut it if it's too crazy.

And it's just for us. That he used to give Ivanka a hard time why she wasn't more like Paris Hilton and getting more media coverage like that. Oh, that doesn't sound plausible at all. See, it's not that crazy. On that note, let's spin it one more time. Alright, shout one out and we'll do one more.

The Emoji Movie. You know, I'm glad you brought up the Emoji Movie. Because it goes in the same category to me as the Candy Crush TV show, as the film Battleship, based on the board game Battleship. I'm in it, so watch it. I'm just kidding, I'm not. You never know, right? Totally plausible that he has a really funny

two or three scenes. I play laughing swastika. Honestly, though, what's amazing is how grounded that character is when you see the film. You think laughing swastika, and you think, like, oh, that's, like, a villain

or some comic relief, but, like, you're not going to believe how much you feel for that character. What I love about a movie like the Emoji movie, like the Battleship movie, like Candy Crush, the TV show, is somewhere in Hollywood, there is a meeting, and it goes like this.

There's a writer sitting across the table, and there's somebody who makes this sort of a sentence. It's like, so, I can't talk about this yet. But I'm so glad that we could sit down and talk, because, again, it's not done, and please, keep this here, okay? I think we got the rights to

smiley faces and little tiny shapes. It's not a done deal. We're still negotiating it, but I think we're going to be able to turn this into basically like our Avengers. Like, this

is going to be a universe, right? And this is going to be the first movie. I mean, this is our despicable me meets minions meets responding to a text. And

here's the thing. Here's the thing. Everybody knows about emojis. And so the second you hear about an emoji movie, people are going to love that. the thing. Everybody knows about emojis. And so the second you hear about an emoji movie, people are going to love that. They're going to think, emojis? I use them. And like typical Hollywood racism, it's going to be like 10 years

before we get Skintone 5 emoji movies. Here's the craziest thing. Here's the craziest thing. Here's the craziest thing. Even though it's an animated circle, they somehow did manage to pay the darker skin emoji 70% of what the lighter skin emoji got. Which doesn't even make sense. But it's kind of impressive that they got that done.

It's very impressive. Commentary. End of rant. Guys, to round out the show tonight, I wanted to let everybody know that this is a special occasion. It's Ira Madison's birthday. And I thought to myself,

what better way to celebrate Ira Madison's birthday than to have two very handsome men bring him a cake. The cake does say keep it. It does. Because that is your catchphrase, as far as I'm concerned.

You own that phrase. So everybody, happy birthday to Ira. Thank you. Thank you all for coming out tonight. Thank you, guys.