Lucy & Sam's Perfect Brains - Murals - Dean Zeus Colman and Gill Adams

Episode Date: October 24, 2025

Lucy and Sam go off the wall with on the wall artist, Dean Zeus Colman. Recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.  Artwork by Sam Campbell. Theme music by Charlie Pelling, Lucy Beaumont and Sam Campbell. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Throughout the course of history, there's been no lot of mysteries, but never won't quite as far as the secret garden of Babylon, oh Babylon, the garden, oh Babylon, do not surrender, oh Babylon, do not surrender, oh kids that bloom all year round, an action fountain that makes not a sound, so check out, this garden please don't be afraid it's lucy and sam's perfect brains lucy and sam's perfect brains lucy and sam's perfect brains this podcast will be recorded for training purposes only we just see you as like a little pink orb that is me i am a pink orb welcome to perfect brains podcast and i'm here as always with lucy beaumont hello hello it is as always and we we we we we haven't rotated, have we? No, it's always us too. And I think that's good to have the two sort of consistent. Yeah, for people to know that whatever happens, there will be

hopefully two of us. And would you say that we're sort of quite off the wall types? No. Today, we have a guest who's very much on the wall. It is a famous muralist. This is someone who's involved at the world of murals. Dean Zeus. Hello, am I ready to speak now?

Oh, yeah, yeah. So that's just we do a bit of an intro and get everyone. Thank you, Kokee. Thank you, Koki. How do you? No, that's a new one. I've never heard that, a muralologist. What do you call someone who does murals?

A muralist, probably, or, yeah, artist. Artist, we love artists. Yes. More artists, less soldiers. So, what do you want to know? Has any of you done any kind of street art or murals before? Lucy's in a mural? In Hall.

Yeah, it's with other notable people from the area as well. And what are you? What about your thoughts? being on the wall. Yeah, I think it, well, I was sort of a little bit maybe a bit not embarrassed, but, you know,

a bit coy, like when I've walked past it, you know, but actually, I think it's really... Really, because I heard you were hanging around there for hours and a while I was waiting. You were waiting for people to spot you on the wall in front of it, yeah. But it's nice to be up there with some people that, you know,

you know, idols really. So that's quite overwhelming. God, I'm jealous. the green-ard monster, because people will remember you, you've been immortalised. When I'm dead, I'll be forgotten within probably two years. I can paint you on a wall if you want. I can paint you. How big do you want to be painted?

Is it small, big, whatever you want? Oh, wow. We can paint you, which, whatever, reclining or... I would love to be painted on a mural. Oh, my goodness. Maybe around Great Wall of China. I do a lot of rooftops in, I've done a lot of rooftops in America, where you can see them from, like Google.

Google Earth and stuff, which is quite interesting. So, yeah, so you're going to pen me up on a roof in America? Yeah, if you want, why not? And will it be sort of legal, or will it be on someone's roof, and they don't even know that I'm there? Either or, I've done all sorts. I started out in the 80s doing graffiti on subway trains. That's how I started.

You were tagging trains? Wow. I was in a hip-hop crew called breakdancing crew. We used to do graffiti, but I know. was a laughter form who was laughing there but Lucy was you in a break dancing crew as well then

no no no no Lucy has very small legs like a sausage dog yeah well once you're spinning around you don't need your legs do you but anyway I digress I've gone off on a tangent haven't I have you ever been on a podcast before no this is my first time did you hear that listeners and you hear that Lucy

this is an exclusive virgin yes uncaptured voice a nubile fresh voice Do you do Inside as well? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I've just finished doing a mural in a house in North London for the guy that just wrote Adolescence, Jack Hall,

and his wife, Rachel Mason. What mural did they go for? I can't really go into details of it because it's private, but it's a private piece for them, but it's... So, I mean, murals take... It's a little bit racy, a little bit blue, would you say? this is the different thing sometimes like when I do murals on the street it's not a big nut sack is it no not at all yeah yeah you got it right it was it was a vagina and is it true that he made you do it

without taking any breaks like he wouldn't let you have a biscuit wouldn't let you stop once you have to do it all in one one one go one take yeah is this a dream no it's real apparently painted a person. They might have been leaning against the wall. Possibly. Yeah. You've gone over them. Occasionally done that. Yeah. Occasionally painting people. Yeah. It's my thing. The quality of street art really differs, do you know? Does that bother you on? Are you, is it more about, do you not, you know, that when you see stuff that, you know, is not great, but it's... It's not subjective, isn't it? It's like comedy. You guys are both comedians, aren't you? Is that correct?

Thank you. Yes. I, it's subjective, isn't it? Yeah, I love your attitude, because we met Lucy in the sauna. Yeah. Where? How? In Brighton. In Brighton, that's the most brighton thing I've ever heard.

Yeah, yeah. A comedian and a street artist meets in a corner in Brighton. Because this lady, what was she saying in the sauna? There was a lady in there, and she goes, oh, young people these days, they just don't want to work. And then she sort of went to Dean. Isn't that right? She goes, isn't that right? They just don't want to work.

And Dean's as cool as you like. He goes, oh, I don't know. I just sort of focus on my own stuff. I'm an artist. I don't really know. I was like, this guy's cool. That's nice. Yeah.

Wasn't a bad place to me in the sauna. Yeah. I said, listen, I'd love to, yeah, I'd love to broadcast. Yeah. Talk a bit about Australia. Yeah. I would like a mural on my wall, on the side of my wall. You could have Sam on your wall, and you don't have to ever be apart.

He'll always be on your wall forever. yeah there's a pause that was a bit of a yeah are you very expensive like to the average person different prices for different things really like having you you think of a painting of decorator and how much he charges you just a standard room and then you have to double or triple it to the point of you're getting something creative and unique like are you happy to put dean up while he paints me in your house, Lucy? Yeah, yeah, you can do, yeah. It's a great enough for a mural.

How much would you charge for just a little one? So above Lucy's pillow, just a little, maybe about the size of a plate, a little Sam just playing a pipe. I was starting, yeah, what 200,000, and then we go down a little bit. I'm joking, I'm joking. How small are you willing to go?

Is someone like, oh, just a little one? You go, ah, can't even be bothered. I do many murals now. I do mini murals. I'm trying to do a mini murals. Neural Festival where they're literally on the gutter, you know, on the side of the thing. And the whole idea was because all my friends and myself as well were doing massive walls, like 100 foot walls and stuff.

And I thought, let's take it back. Let's do mini murals where people can find them on the streets, like little hidden gems, you know. That's nice. I've just thought of a really good one. So you paint Lucy's nails and on each nail is a different one of my expressions. smiling, grumpy, cheerful, like a different, yeah, the different versions of me on each nail. Okay, well, it's possible. It's, um, when you're available, Lucy.

Wait, wait, that's 20 nails. So, yeah, 20, I've got 20 expressions. Oh, toes as well. I should think, I should, I should hope so, yeah. Have you been in trouble with the police? No, close to it years ago. My friend, we got chased by the dogs. They let the dogs off as well.

Police dogs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And my friend dropped one of the spray cans, and the dog bit the can. And all I was hiding in a building quite close to where I was painting. And all I heard was like an explosion from the can. And I thought, oh, my God, they're shooting us. It's insane. This is in the 80s, so when you're allowed to just let dogs off after people.

Yeah, so no, not really. And nowadays I don't really do any of that stuff. And most of the stuff I do is legal work. And if I do anything, it's not legal work, I wouldn't talk about it anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, trust me, no police have listened to this. We've, like, they've said to us, like, we're not listening. We're not interested.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They've actually tried to shut us down a few times. We have to constantly be using different microphones going to different locations. It's a very guerrilla, it's very pirate radio. Lucy has a perfect brains. Lucy has a perfect brains. really need to see colours, don't you? But yeah, I mean, most cities now have a mural festival

because it changes. You have like night walks or mural walks where people go and kind of walk around the city because what do you do after you've had dinner? You want to go and have a little walk? You want to see a mural? Yeah. Do you want to see a mural?

I go, nah, I'd like to see a mural, please. And who do you think is the most muralized person? Is it Marilyn Monroe, Maradonna? Who do you think is the person who's been depended? picked it most in a mural. Yeah, it's got to be someone like Marilyn Monroe or someone, isn't it? And I like Marilyn Monroe, but she's in hundreds of thousands of murals, and I'm not in a single one.

It was soon to be on the side of Lucy's wall, apparently. Yeah. We could do you sitting in a sauna, but kind of, you know, like with your towel on, you know. Would that be, okay, Lucy, Lucy, me with different, like, beads of sweat, sort of, dripping off me sort of thing? Yeah. No, no. But I don't, you, like, have more of a, I could see like a cartoon version of you.

Yeah, we could, not too far off the cartoons. I don't know, sorry, I don't know. But then what if, like, you got caught up in some sort of scandal? I'm not going to be in the scandal. And if that does happen. Yeah, but you, you know, everyone says that, you know, and then it's just awkward, isn't it, you know. Okay, what about this? What about this?

What about this, what about this, Dean? You do a very hyper-realistic version of me in Lucy's, I don't know, where did we, were we saying sort of above the pillow and if i do get caught up god forbid get caught in any kind of scandal just changed my face to joel domit we've got very similar bodies oh okay there you go how bigs you will and it oh no it's really big because it's a victorian house so and it and it's just it's totally crying out to have a mural and the area is full of street art It's like, it's Whithington in Manchester, and so it definitely needs it.

Okay, well, I'm ready and willing. Okay, and I'm so ready to pose. You mentioned Victorian era, so I will be in Victorian garb holding a big, a big bag of peat. Yeah, what do you think, Lucy? I think it could be really nice. I've quite like a tree.

I can be in a tree. You think I can't farm a tree? I can be in a tree. I like trees. Yeah, I've just done some trees, actually. Have you? Yeah. He's got tree experience.

I don't mind being a little imp that's in the tree. I'm in a little tree house. You can put you in a little tree house. Oh my God, a dangling, damn tree house imp. That's really nice, actually. That's really, we would like to have that, yeah. And you could have a ring in your hand proposing to your girlfriend. Don't talk about my girlfriend on the show.

We love your pookie. We love you pooky. Oh, my God. Have I been, like, glowing and hovering this whole episode? I can't believe I'm in love. Oh. Dean Zuz met my new girlfriend who we love so much. Yes.

We love you, Pookie. Is that a name, Pookie? Her name is, no. Her name is, oh, did I say people's names? It's up to you. Maybe I'll give her a good name, Yvonne. Oh, that's lovely. And when did you, how did you mean?

She's the same, she's the same height, same weight. So she's 40 centimetres tall and weighs 40 kilograms. I did not notice that in the song, though. She's got a very statuessque figure if garden gnomes can have statues Well you can't paint you together on the wall I would love that Yeah well yeah

She really is exactly the same She's just yeah The angel of all angels And yeah I just cherish her so much Yeah and I'm very glad to meet you both in your song Oh that's lovely Have you been have you've waited Have you not felt like this about some things?

I've never felt like this is one of the great loves of my life and I've been serious but you know what I've made a bit crazy but I feel like my heart is quadrupled in size oh and how long have you been to are you in the like throes of it yes I think I might be in the throes I think I'm in like a saucepan like I'm really just bubbling and bubbling away oh and does she find you funny thankfully yes I'm That's a tricky one, isn't it? That is a tricky one. Would you actually date a girl?

Sorry, Lucy, I don't know if you're in a partnership, but would you date somebody if they weren't funny? No. Is that part of the... Do you think that's part of your relationship that you need to find that person funny? Yeah, but I don't think it's linked to being a comedian even. No, of course.

No, there's different ways of being funny, yeah. Yeah, because I think it's just preference, isn't it? But the other question is, could you date somebody? who didn't find you funny. Thankfully, such a woman doesn't exist. No, that's never happened. That's not going to happen. Yeah.

Apparently, there was a lot of women in England. Like, there was, like, the depression went up by, like, I think female depression went up, I think, 40% because I accidentally set my Instagram to private. Oh, there we go. I met a girl who really wanted to meet you and was trying to, almost hassling me to try and find, out how to, and she had a coat made of football scarves.

Wow. So like hundreds of football scarves all knitted together. Oh my God, this is the kind of girl of your dreams, isn't it? No, no, no. You already met her? She should go with Col Palmer or someone else. Yeah, no, no, not interested. No way.

At the time of this recording, it's the Easter holidays. I basically, I've booked for an Easter egg hunt extravaganza at a place called William's Den and the South Cave. Not on my own, with multiple children. A lot of people are campaigning trying to stop Easter egg hunting. They say like it's inhumane. Why? They just think it's wrong. Like we should leave these eggs in peace and stuff

It's very middle class I never did it Did you ever do an Easter egg hunt when he was a kid? Did you see, were you hunting eggs? No, you just got giving it a chocolate egg And he sat and watched tell you and ate it But now there's all these Easter egg hunts are massive

They're all over in these like kids farms and stuff So basically what I'm trying to Oh there's around the countries Hundreds of these like middle class pretend farms that you take religion to and they have events and I have succumbed to it Maybe it gets the kids fit

while they eat chocolate afterwards like if they have to run around looking for the Easter eggs they're running off some calories while they're eating I don't even think they're of chocolate I think they're just like eggs like pretend eggs

pretend eggs it's very middle class but what I'm saying is I have to go oh really quickly Lucy I believe that we should do this with other things If a child goes, I want to get the Nintendo Switch.

Yeah, well, I'll, if you can find it, if you can hunt for it. Yeah, man, mum used to do that. She used to find it. She used to say, oh, no, no, it was the way around. If I'd lost something, she used to say, if I find it, I'll hit you with it. And she did whatever I'd lost, she'd hit, she'd found it. That could be embarrassing, couldn't it? Hit me with it.

That could be very embarrassing. So, well. If I found, it was a real whole thing, all the whole man's did it. If I've had it, I'll hit you with it. Yeah. Wow. I missed out in hole. Growing up in hole sounds like just a whole different experience.

It was. It was tough. South London's tougher. Oh, yeah, yeah. Hey, we're not getting into who had the toughest day. South London. We wish Lucy. We used to hit you with things without asking if you hit you with things.

When I was growing up, we liked being hit. Yeah. They threw me off. Yeah. No, but I had, I would like to dedicate this episode to the great new beautiful love and girlfriend of my life, if that's okay. Oh, that's lovely. I'm glad I mentioned her. I'm glad I met her in the song with you, Sam. My housemate, what do you think about this?

We go to, what do you think about this, actually? We go to Margate together, my housemate's there as well. And then when we're on the train back, she's got an app where she chooses her outfit for the day, like all her outfits are in the app. Do you know about this, Lucy? I have two, I'm 41. You have like all the tops, all the shoes, they're all in that. And then I go to the toilet. When I come back, my housemate is helping, has chosen her an outfit, a perfect.

Like, he's like, oh, this is he a man? Yeah. Is he? Comedian Luke McLean. Red flag. Go and check that they're not sleeping together. No, no, no. You've let things slip already, Sam.

You've let her out your hands already. She's slipped through your fingers. But should he be choosing outfits for her? He's poking pokey right now, Gun. Don't say that, Lucy. That's not okay. I'm going to do this Easter egg, hon. I'm going to go to that paddock and steal all the Easter eggs so that your daughter can't find a single one.

It was so interesting and I'm genuinely going to get in touch. All right. Lucy, lovely. Take care everybody. That was unreal, Dean. Thank you so, so much. Lucy and Sam's Perfect Brits. This podcast will be recorded for training purposes only.

My mum used to do that. My mummy used to do that. My mummy used to do that. My mummy used to do that. When you whack it, it glows in the dark. It glows. Just remember, this is an audio. Oh, what's that?

So my mum is showing us a green alien. But obviously, a lot of people are just listening. Yeah, that's nice. So just for the listener, Jill has procured some sort of small little green alien sort of, I don't know. Yeah, she's brought that into. to frame, and she's just going to a nice, quite liberal, smack. I'll just get birth to it, Sam. Okay.

Another one. I can't believe you've been going to go to another alien. Ooh, a big laugh from her mother there. When I was pregnant with Lucy, I dreamt. Oh, you like to hear this. I dream, I dreamt that I was impregnated by the devil. And he had, he had, he had, he had a glowing penis. And I'm not even kidding you, it's scared.

Oh, jeez. It scared of me. I rang a dance mom. It's scary. Did he? Yeah, I rang a dance mom and she went, oh, that happens. That's fairly common before, sort of, yeah, going into the first trimester. One will have a dream of Satan, sort of glowing pecker.

Is that what attracted you to the devil, that he had this sort of glowing, almost like a lightsaber, I can imagine? It was so, you know, that. them dreams that don't leave you they stay with you I'll be honest for a long time I was worried I thought it was like Rosemary's baby all over again I was living on my own

a lot of people won't know what Rosemary's baby is Rosemary's baby was a famous film when she gave birth to the devil's right yeah okay so we're still on that thing right well sorry I don't know why that you're sorry

sorry good morning mum sorry Good morning. Sorry. At the fear to tell everybody what happened when that pagoda landed in your garden recently. Oh, God. Tell them what you shouted at them. We want to know about the pagoda. Well, I'll have to tell you the proper story of it.

I've got down the bottom of my gardens like a little oasis. It's my haven. And I've grown a wisteria and it's beautiful. And then at the side of the where my fences, They've got a garden nearly a mile long. I don't even know why. I don't even know why. But they decided to build this fucking huge bigoda thing

and attach it to my fence, Sam. So, and I knew it was trouble. So we had a really bad windy day. And the thing, it took off. It were lifted up in the air. It turned upside down. And it, this is, I'm not shitting yet. And it floated over there.

over my garden and where my wisteria is on me on my garage i've got a chimney because i've got one of them log berner things in the garage and it pierced over the top of the chimney and got stuck and i woke up and i looked out the window there was many in my garden i didn't know what was going on it's climbing over the walls over the fences in my garden and um what did you shout that I said, how did you get in my garden? And then, like, obviously jumped over the fence and stuff. So they were all basically trying to save this begot and which won't go in no way.

It was pieced over the top of the chimney. It was positively skewered. And they were going, calm down, calm down. I was going, calm down. I suffer from imposter syndrome. I'm autistic. I don't know. I just got up and I come down and...

How many men are we talking? 40, 50 men? I said, I'm suing it. You damage my wisteria. I'm suing it. I grew that. I grew it myself. And what is it, wisteria?

Is that a type of fountain? It's amazing, amazing plant. And I nurtured it. Did, did, did. You're going, calm down, calm down. And I was going, I've got imposter syndrome. You've no idea how stressful this is for me. And then this woman appeared.

And she was going, calm down, love. I, calm down love And I was going She's doing She's not helping the situation Tell her to get back in the Alves Anyway, cut along stories So they're all just climbing over the fence

I mean like it was my fault It was there because it was my garden That was getting wrecked I had a bloke on the roof Of the shed He said listen We're nice men We move your bins for you

We're the ones that bring your bins down the alley for you I said I don't give a fuck up What get out my garden all this it all calmed down anyway they removed it they managed to remove

it they have to take it to pieces it costs three and a half thousand pounds that begorda so this woman that I was saying get her in the house I'm telling you now she's doing no favours I'm enraged

get her in the house she came round round me front knocked on the door and she said, that bigota, my husband bought me that because I've got, I've got cancer and she just had a breast removed. And I was like, we can't say, I don't care, can you? Do you know what I'm?

I said, I've got imposter syndrome. You really can't. She said, I've had my breast removal. I said, I've got imposter syndrome. We're both really in a state. Can I hug you? And I went to hug her. Well, honest to God, I really.

later when I give her a hug. So that was that. So that's gone. Ian, do you know what, when they moved the, when it was all removed, me we stare at it. Me, we're hysteria want a bit damaged. Hello, Brainiacs. Hello, perfect people. Oh, nice. I'm Amy Gled Hill. My name is Ian Smith. And we are from the Northern News podcast. If you like podcast where it's a male and female host, the woman is from Hull, you're going to love Northern News. Yeah, and if you're thinking, but I'd like the man to be from Gull, that's what this is. Yeah, not Australia.

No, but if you listen to our back catalogue, you will hear both Sam Campbell and Lucy Bermont doing bloody good bits on our show, actually. Yeah, and it's all about finding the weird bizarre stories from the north of England or wherever our guests are from. Things like, Pure Evil Blackbird named Derek terrorising Yorkshire Village and attacking children.

Woman in tears after spotting spitting image of dead dog in Bath, Matt. And we've got special guests. We're talking about people like Phil Wang, Jessica Nappit, Ed Campbell

and Ross Noble who joined us in the studio. Woo-hoo! Yeah. That's Northern News out every Thursday wherever you get your podcasts.