Lucy & Sam's Perfect Brains - Spin the Bottle - Tim Key and Gill Adams

Episode Date: October 10, 2025

Lucy, Sam and their favourite celebrity guests are beholden to the power of the bottle. If it lands on you, your fate is sealed.Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.  Artwork by Sam Campbell. Theme music by Charlie Pelling, Lucy Beaumont and Sam Campbell. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

At Medcan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health, from the big milestones to the quiet winds. That's why our annual health assessment offers a physician-led, full-body checkup that provides a clear picture of your health today and may uncover early signs of conditions like heart disease and cancer. The healthier you means more moments to cherish. Take control of your well-being and book an assessment today. Medcan. Live well for life.

Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. Throughout the course of history, there's been no art of mysteries, but never won't quite as far as the secret garden of Babylon, O Babylon, O Babylon, do not surrender, orchids that bloom all year round, an action fountain that makes not a cell. So check out this garden, please don't be afraid. It's Lucy and Sam's Perfect Brains. Lucy and Sam's Perfect Brains. Lucy and Sam's Perfect Brains. This podcast will be recorded for training purposes only. Thank you for joining us on the Perfect Brains podcast.

I'm here with Lucy Beaumont. Hi, hey, howdy? Make your mind up. And just have got this voice you might hear. I'm sort of warming around your ears is Tim Key. Hi, hey, howdy. You are a big movie star these days. I do sort of some acting, yeah, alongside my podcast work and live stuff.

Tim is in a movie with Robert Pattinson. Wow. I am, yeah. Wow. He is. You touched him in the trailer, and you like touching him in the trailer. And in the film. They've taken that clip out from the film.

So, yeah, I touch him in the film, and then that gets used as a trailer. Wow. So when they went through, they're like, what's going to be in the trailer? definitely the bit where Tim touches Pattinson. There'd have been other considerations, but yeah, certainly that's in the trailer. And we have another guest. Jill? Oh, hi, yeah.

Tim, what do you mean you touch him? I touch, well, as part of this acting job, I had to touch Robert Pattinson. Well, you touch him as in moving. Oh, right, I will see. No, I touched him as in just, I think I frog marched him. Oh. Have you ever had the pleasure? Have you met Robert?

No, I've never heard of him. Who is he? Have you ever been frog-marched? Decent question. Oh, I've been more than frog-matched. Of course, I'm living up. What have you been, turduddled? You'll name it. I've been it. I've had it. Have you ever been catapulted?

Catapulted. Well, sorry. You said you name it. Sorry. I've been shot out of a cannon. Ah. That would do it. Oh, I've got something interesting to say. Jill. What?

My dad was knocked over by a cow. Oh, God. Sorry about that. It's okay. Was it me? Was it me? That's the woman. I don't think you can call women cows these days, Jill.

Well, listen, I'm proud of it. Today on Perfect Brains, we are going to be playing Spin the Bottle. That's right, guys. We are going to be spinning the bottle. We will take turns. Whoever the bottle happens to land on, those two people will be going away. Well, they will be podcasting together for three minutes. What do you think about that?

There's an idea. I think it's a decent idea. So rather than get, we're not getting off with each other, we're just podcasting. With complete respect, Lucy, you're in Hull. No, she's in Manchester. I think the principle still holds. It's very difficult for the bottle to spin and everyone get on trains. We've got the north covered, me and our loads.

Well, don't worry about me and Sam. We've got the South covered. Absolutely. The South is safe. Under our Watch. Right. Well, it's North versus South then, isn't it? Just a bit, except for I think we're all playing on our own.

Yeah. Okay, who will be the first to spin, Ben? Oh, do you want to go first, Tim? Yep, okay. Tim's spinning the bottle, and it has landed on. It's landed on. Sam? So does that mean we're podcasting?

Yep. Okay, right. And we do it for how long? Three minutes. Three seems long. Well, can we go for less than three? What do you think, Lucy? I'd love to hear you both podcasts for three minutes.

I'm all for it because I need a pee What did you say? You need a wee? I'm all for it because I need to pee. Okay, I've entered the cupboard. We're at a sort of an interesting, like maybe we're in a, do you know what I mean?

It's like the parents are away. We're playing, spin the bottle and I've gone into the cupboard with Timki. Right, in we go. Let's get this door shut. Yeah, shut the door and let's get ready to go. Shall we prop the handle up with this vacuum cleaner? Don't mind if I do.

And how have you been? Well, it's very nice to get you away from that lot outside. Oh, Lucy and Jill, yeah. Yeah. I wanted a moment with you. Oh, right on. Right on. I'd like to thank you for letting me stay at your house recently.

Well, that's true. I, um, just for the listeners out there, I, um, I went away, didn't I? And by the way, we love our fans. We adore them. And you looked after my flat. Absolutely. And what did you? A swanky little bolt hole in London's, uh, strutting Soho.

Okay. So, first things first, did you have any house guests? What do you mean? Did you have any house guests? Yes, I heard some people came around, but never any big parties or anything like that. A friend of mine came over and taped it. Do you know what a self-tape is? Do I know what a self-tape is?

Yeah, come on, who am I talking to? But that's where you, it's like an audition that you don't go in, you film it and send it to them. He filmed it in your flat and landed the roll. Well, there you go. Well, that's fantastic. And who is this person? It was Aaron Chen. Love that.

Okay. Were you comfortable in my flat? It was really nice, yeah. I was worried you were filming me. B-word, were you? No, but I have read a book called, I don't know whether Lucy's read this. She's not in this bit.

Oh, there's a lot of noise from Jill. Have you read a book called the Voyeur's Motel? Sam. I've heard of that. Is that the guy who's above people walking down? Yeah, this is a guy who... Bought a hotel. He buys a motel.

Not a hotel Oh sorry, sorry I get those so confused Don't you guys Listeners right in If you get the M and the H confused In a hotel and a motel You don't know what's going on

So he buys a motel And then he bores a hole in the ceiling And then he looks down at the guests In the hotel room He likes to watch them He loves to watch them And that would have been fine If he told them in advance

Come and stay at my hotel It's cheap because I like to look at you He doesn't tell him a single thing And he watches people What sort of things would What do you think he's seen? He saw a murder I know that to be true.

He witnessed it. And the most sick and disgusting thing the entire time he was licking his lips. Okay, so my question would be if I had bought a hole in the ceiling above you, if I had border hole... So you didn't even go to America. You were just up above the...

I did hear noises. But if I had border hole in the ceiling above you, what would be the one thing that you would have been disappointed me to have seen? How many bars I took? Sure, okay. Three minutes. I don't enjoy that.

That was good. This is good. People go, oh, do conch again. We might do it again, but spin the bottle is good. I'd love to do the conch again. Yeah, it works. Yeah, the conch works. This works, by the way, as well, Lucy. Do you know what I'm looking forward to, Lucy? What?

I'm looking forward to landing on you. That'll be a nice three minutes. That's a bit forward. Not really. I'm looking forward to podcasting with you. Oh, thanks, Tim, Sam. Wow. I'm back. Hello, Jill. Is this a dream?

No, it's real. Okay, Jill, you will be podcasting with... Lucy. Oh, lovely. The other two. Hi, Luke. Are you all right? Yeah.

So we're going to just talk to each of us for three minutes. Are you all right about that? Well, yeah. Will it be useful if I went for a way, Jim? No, you're not allowed to interrupt someone's bottle spin. Pardon me? Tim and Sam were just saying about... Sam was floating the idea that could...

Could Tim have really been secretly filming him when Sam went and stayed in Tim's flat? And it was making me think back in Hull in the 90s how flashing was really acceptable. And do you remember there was like a local flasher in Hesel and no one really had a problem with him? Do you remember? Oh, there it goes.

Oh, there is again. And I can remember being that. Do you remember my friend, Glenn, when I used to go for tea at her house, they'd say, oh, it's half per six, and all the family would gather around the front living room window, and he would go pass and flash at them. And it was sort of like entertainment, really. And I just wondered how you felt about that, like, because we've never talked about it since. Yeah, I can't see how I've given it much thought over the years, to be honest.

I'm probably trying to rid myself with that. But when I was a kid, there was a bloke in Ezzell, and they called him the feeler. And he used to, it's not, I mean, really, it's probably, I don't know what happened to him in life. But he used to run from lamppost to lamppost and touch it. I used to also know a prostitute called Ginger Babs, who was friends with another prostitute called Gums. And she used to walk past Lampost and go, hi, hi, Ben. And I once said it's a lamp post

And she went, yeah, I know him And gums Well, you can imagine That's all I can say about that But that's the thing She used to have a bank manager That used to come round Pay a 60 quid to be locked in her wardrobe

And she used to go out town and buy herself a new coat So somebody being a flash away, it's kind of, that is, that's now in comparison to what was really going on, especially around Lampus. That's time. Wow. Do you think she had teeth when she started the job? Lucy, I'm going to have to interrupt you. You're out of the cupboard now. Sorry, sorry.

I'm really sorry about that, by the way. We have to have another spin of the bottle. Tim, we don't want to see that behavior again. And Lucy, as well, I'll give a warning to you. Sorry, sorry, sorry. So that's just a sort of a sprinkler of warnings to everyone. The one thing I would say about that, Sam, is it is nice after you've had the three minutes just to sort of just have a quick debrief and just, and I disagree with that. I say spin again.

In the triathlon, people run and then they don't have a little break and then start swimming. They run and then straight to the swim, straight on the bike, and that builds momentum. And that's what our listeners really want. They said we want more momentum. So the next person to spin will be Tim. Here I come. Give it a big spin. Let's see.

And I am going to be podcasting with. There's you again, Sam. Okay, it's me. Did you ever have a nickname, or did you know anyone with a nickname, like gums that we've heard about? Well, not like gums, I don't think. Did you have a nickname? Fetus. Fetus, yeah.

Did you grow out of that? Yeah, I did. I think I've shot up. I seriously think I was so small as a child. There's like photos of me, and you're like, that can't be that small. It's wrong. It's crazy. Well, I've got to say, you're not a big man now.

No, but I have shot up. Like, people, like, people used to like, yeah. I think I've really shot up. I'd say this. If I'm thinking of you, yes. I've got a little squat, little fella in my mind.

A little spiddly little Australian guy. Come on. I'm all right. I'm a good chap. No, but there's not much to you. That's sort of partly my thinking about having you in the flat. When you do think of me, what sort of,

yeah, what else sort of speaks about? What environment am I in? You're sort of in a world of your own. Yeah. If I'm imagining, you sort of going about your daily business. Oh.

You're in a world of your own. You've probably got those daft headphones on and you're sort of lolloping around down the street, shirt untucked, you know, mind elsewhere, just with no particular focus or anything like that. And then the world just sort of coming to you and everything's sort of falling to you on a plate. When I think of you, it's like you're sort of working like, you know, furiously riding, maybe even with a quill.

And then you've got these two women, elderly women. elderly, but like sort of, you or whatever, these two women, they're homely, let's say that, and they take turns feeding you the different coloured grapes. How much long have we got? So a red grape, then a green grape. Red, green, red, green. And they sometimes get mixed up. When I think of you, yeah, yes.

When I think of you, at night, when I think of you, and you're getting ready to go to bed, you take off your stupid, stupid clothes, and then you've got some mad man's nighty, and you put this little pinstripe nighty on and a little hat on, and you've got a little candle, and he traips up your little stairs, and, go into your little bed. Well, I think of you at night, you sneak around to your old university and pretend you're still at university and, you know, pretend you're still going there. Well, I think of you, you're in bed, it's at night and you're whimpering trying to get

your flatmate to come and turn the light. I think of you watching the chase and then watching again the next night and saying all the answers, even though you knew them from the night before. If you asked to stay at my flat again now, I wouldn't let you. I would do anything for you and I consider you one of my great mentors. I'd go on holiday with you again. We should do another holiday. Naples, Naples.

Naples. Yeah, I would go to Naples again with you. When can you go to Naples? I could go soon. It depends what kind of trip. But I'd love to go on a really long trip with you. Like on a cruise or like one of these. We should walk the Camino together.

Yeah, let's do that. Fantastic. Blamey. Why don't you do a docket travel series together? Do you think it'll be as special if it's filmed? No. No, you actually sound like you've been married for years. You'll tell.

Well, you know what? Jill, we did actually go to Sweden last year? Yeah. We wanted to see, we went to the museum called the Vassar Museum, and the first room was the biggest ship I've ever seen in my life. And I was like, I can't wait to see the other rooms, but that was just, there was only one room with just that big ship in it. And then after that, I mean, we should be, we've got to spin a ball.

What I would say, very quickly, Jill. I'm actually going to give myself a warning. A warning for Sam, warning for me. Maybe warning for Lucy, but one thing we did see was the king of Sweden, Jill. Oh, wow. Okay. have a spin. Okay.

Here it comes. It's Tim. That's me. Time started. What do you want to talk about? Well, I mean, I don't mind. I mean, have you ever done any, what's the sort of closest you've come to committing a crime?

It's not funny, Jill. I'm asking you a daughter whether she's... She's from old. Yeah. Yeah, she's Treval. Right. Okay. So there'll have been times where she's been.

on the wrong side of the law. You're born on the wrong side of the law, Tim, if you're in office. Joe, you're risking penalisation if you're dropped again. I'm 62. Don't get Larry. She's took two years off of age for some reason. Sorry. I'm 48, Jill.

Anyway, you're chewing into mine and your daughter's podcasting time here. I don't care. Oh, right, okay. I do care. I'm only kidding. Let's have... I'm only kidding. I got involved embroiled in Nigerian fraud. once.

Oh, okay. Embroiled as in you were doing the fraud or you... No, no, I put a stop to it and I called the police but I could have, you know... Oh, that's quite a long way from getting involved in crime, I think.

Oh, I've stolen a lot of things. Yeah, I stole a smurf once. Did you? Where from? A shop in my hometown, there was like a smirth. I was probably about maybe seven, six, and I asked if I could have the smurf and my mum said I couldn't.

so then I stole the smurf and then later that day pretended I found the smurf but I think she smelled a rat Oh god Oh gosh how is it How's it got here? That's what I did

And I don't think I sold it that well As a seven year old Oh oh that's nice I found that I found a smurf Like the one that I wasn't allowed to have Oh and Jill you're not in this She's called mum I am out to say oh

Yeah you are about to make a proving noises But the thing is If your mum had a let you kept that actually you had a good business brain on your oh that's time up unfortunately your mother turned you into a thief by saying no to you I think the problem is with this with this format is when he's talking and other people are interrupting

he doesn't like it and then when you and I are just trying to just happily have a little conversation Sam's the main person imposing himself on it the snide remarks of a smurf stealer at Medcan we know that life greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health from the big milestones to the quiet winds. That's why our annual health assessment offers a physician-led, full-body checkup that provides a clear picture of your health today and may uncover early signs of conditions like

heart disease and cancer. The healthier you means more moments to cherish. Take control of your well-being and book an assessment today. Medcan. Live well for life. Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. Lucy has a perfect brains. Lucy has perfect brains. Joe's turn to spin the bottle. Oh, I hope I'll get you, Joe, because I've got a good question for you.

Oh, hey, can I just say real quick, I used to know this woman, and she used to say, I was born to be a spinster, and by God, I'm going to spin. Joe has landed on herself. What happens there? I think three minutes of Jill.

It has landed on you. Are you happy to do three minutes solo, or is that inappropriate? Solo? She's not really talking to anyone but herself. Go for it. Hey, I live on my own love. I know to talk to myself. You'll go for it.

Am I meant to be talking now? Yeah. Yeah. What do you want me to talk about? Tell us about those mice. Yeah. Tell us about the mice and tell us about some of the stuff you've got. The mice?

Oh my God. Don't get me on. Well, they've ripped me covers. I'll tell you. that they thought it was like supermarket sweep in there. Basically, I've got these cupboards and I didn't know that there was some kind of hole from the outside. I've got decking. You know that I didn't like to say this. She'll look sure decking's lovely, but you know that it breeds rats. Well, anyway, they were under that decking and somehow got into the cupboard. Well, I had lentils and all sorts

in their noodles a lot. And I went away. And when I came back, they thought it was like a superman. that you could just nip in and out of and I used to hear him swishing about. So my friend Monday said, well, you need to put some, you know, poison down. And my other friends said, no, don't do that. What you need to, that's cruel. What you need to do is get some wheat and blow the smoke inside and you'll get them stoned. Well, of course, that's just going to make them more hungry. So what I did, I take all the cupboards up.

And they also was getting out, you know, I mean, washer is? Well, you don't know why my washer is, but I've got a washing, and there's a gap, and they were getting under there as well. So I basically padded everything, and I got gaffer tape. Well, you know, how strong that is. And I gaffir taped everything. And my friend came round, and she said, you do know that they can fit into a hole, the size of a pencil.

So someone was like, I've got to do with anything. She said, well, why have you taped all your cupboards up? It's not like they're going to ramrate the cupboards. They're not going to be able to open the cupboard to get out. So I've completely wrecked my kitchen because of that. This is like the conch. So the other thing is, right, so then, right, I've got this grabber. Do you know what a grabber is?

Oh, God, yeah. Well, anyway, I'll tell you what a grabber is. A grabber is you grab with it when you can't bend. Well, there's a design floor there because if you drop it, you fuck, because you can't bend to pick it up. But anyway, so Amanda, so anyway. Sorry, unless you've got another grabber. Carry on.

Yeah, exactly. Is that what the men on the train have? Is that a grabber? Will the guys on the train come through? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right, yeah. Those guys have been trying to get me for years. Anyway, do you know what she did with my grabber? Oh, I think you've met, I think your three minutes is up.

The three minutes is up, Jill, that was fantastic. Okay, who's spinning next? It's Timmy. I'll spend, I'll give it a spin. Here I come. Okay, spinning through. Jill. It's time for Tim and Lucy to do three minutes in heaven.

It's time for their, the bottle has landed on those two. Okay. Well, what I wanted to do with this three minutes, Lucy, is why don't you tell me your favourite five animals, but in order of size, starting with the smallest, I think. What, and when do you say favourite, like to eat? Yeah, to eat. Yeah, I was going to say, yeah, to eat.

Or to pet. Or to look at. Yeah, or to work for you. Well, maybe it's one from each category. So you've got an eating animal, a petting animal, a working animal. And a rideable. A riding animal. Maybe it's like a, you know, horrible phrase, but sleeping it.

Right, sir. Oh, God. But do them in order of size. A whelk? Yeah, a whelk. And the whelk, I'm assuming that's not working for you. It's a eat. What's a whelk?

It's an eating animal. It's like a winkle, isn't it? Like a muscle. Yeah, I like them. Yeah, it's like a, it's a shelled animal, it's clamped down, and you prize open the whelk, and then I've not seen anyone eat one, but I'm sure. We have them a lot at seaside.

It's surprising that that's your main eating animal. No, so that is, no, that's what I mean by that. That is the smallest, in diameter animal that I have eaten and have been happy to eat. I don't think there is a small. Small a living thing than that. I suppose I probably, I would probably throw in like a white bait. That's smaller?

I don't know. I don't know. You do get people out there who are starting to get their insect on, of course. But that's not somewhere I've been. No, no, I don't really think that's going to catch on. Okay, so that's animal number one. Animal number two, bigger than a whelk. And this one's got to be either petting, working, riding or sleeping.

Okay. Does it have to go up in high order? Yep. That's one of the main two things about the top. So bigger than a whelk. What, fuck it. I'd like to pet a rabbit. Petter rabbit.

Yeah, okay. So Welk, rabbit. Then the next one, bigger than a rabbit. Bigger than a rabbit to live with. Yeah, maybe to live with. Yeah, exactly. A relationship with. That's a good idea.

A baboon. Yep. Yeah, baboon's very good. I'll tell you what. You're not leaving yourself. Oh, no! Oh, dear. What a cliffhanger.

Oh, no. But we didn't do y'ars. Because I want a working one. We didn't do yours. No, we didn't do mine even. The Shia horse. Yeah, I knew you'd say Shire Horse. That's your working one, yeah?

Yeah, yeah, of course. It's a bit cliche, isn't it? But what else are you going to pick? Well, in terms of an animal that you're going to set to work, I think a Shire horse is absolutely, would be wonderful. Although, I'll be honest. I wouldn't mind a kangaroo working for me. Oh, wow.

We've had another spin, and I am going to. to be podcasting with Lucy. I think they're quite sexy, kangaroos. Yeah, I do as well. Yeah, they are. Well, also, they're, I think they're the animal that's most like us, isn't it? Like, in terms of DNA. A kangaroo?

And just to take over here, Tim, now the three minutes. Yeah, I think it's kangaroo is the one that's most like us. Not accurate at all. The feet are too long. They met a movie Kangaroo Jack. Originally, he was only in a dream sequence, and the kangaroo was so enchanted test audiences that they built the entire movie around him. But if you had to date, if you had to, like, date an animal,

everyone had to accept that was, like, socially acceptable to date. Yeah. Like, which is the most socially acceptable animal that you could have a relationship with? One that you would be able to, I think the first thing's first is you want to, you'd want to pick one where you can get some clothes on it. Kangaroo? Kangaroo's in the frame, certainly. Tukin?

Has it got beak? He's got a beak. Yeah, got a beak. Yeah, it's got a beak, got a beak. I would, yeah, maybe go a pelican because there's an elegance there. Yeah. I'll tell you what, I wouldn't mind throwing a noisy onto a flamingo, I must say. What about you, Jill?

Well, I have dated an animal. I've dated a few, but somebody once said I dance like a baboom's mating dance. Tell them about when that thing fell off your edge on the dance floor. What thing? That thing, that hairpiece. Which thing? Several things have fallen off made over the years. At your birthday, when you had that fake hairpiece in. Oh, my hairpiece.

My airpiece, not airpiece. Airpiece. What is it? Airpiece. My hairpiece. Hairpiece. Hairpiece. Oh, yeah, my airpiece. Hairpiece.

I had an airpiece. I had an airpiece on with a scar. And it fell like, when I was dancing, it fell off my head. So I picked it up and pretended it was attacking my throat and this woman. And she nearly had a fit. We're laughing. She loved it. She loved it.

That is a huge note. If anyone has a toupee or a week, Do funny things with it and pretend it's attacking you. It's just hugely helpful for the society as a whole. I think that probably goes with false teeth as well. Yes, absolutely true. A, Tim, I'll tell you a story about false teeth. Go on.

Should we spin the wheel? That's it. Love that. Let's get in a room together. Come on. This is me and Jill. Okay, this is Tim and Jill. This is a true story, Tim.

My granny, which we called mother. We didn't call her granny. We called her mother. He used to put her teeth. You know, in a, you know, a glass of water. It's a classic glass jarred in it next to the bed. And we used to nick it, we used to make, it's a bit cruel, but we used to make it in a bread cake.

We put a teeth in a breadcake and make a sandwich. My other granny, my little granny. Well, hang on a minute. So you've taken the teeth, you've taken the teeth from my granny's teeth out of the glass. No, excuse me, you've taken mother's teeth. And then you've put mother's teeth into what you've made a mixture and baked the teeth into a cake? No, no, no, a bread cake. Do you know what a bread cake is? I'm starting to, I'm starting to know what one is.

I think it's like a, like a bun. We would call it a roll. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you've got, you've got a bread cake, cut it in half, put the teeth inside that. Yeah. And then fed that, fed that to grandmother.

Yeah. And so their sister-in-laws, are they, these two? No, me little great. You see, we're called mother. Yeah. We call me grandly. My mam's ma'am. We called her mother because little granny was allowed. So we called my granny granny and my mother, mother and my mum, ma'am.

So nobody got confused. But you know, the little granny, sorry, Jill, you know little granny, what's her relationship with mother? Are they sister-in-laws? No, that's a man. So little granny's mother is called mother. So there's my little granny. Just let's start with you. Well, start with Lucy. You've got Lucy and then you. You're called Jill.

Jill Adams. I'm called Mo Mo Mo Mo, sorry, my bad sorry, yeah, shout that one more time, I think. Am I confusing you, Tim? Not really, just like it when you say, I'm Moomoo. Oh, I think, Tim, I think you've got a thing about my voice. I love your voice. But what I would like to say is you've got Lucy, then you've got Moomoo,

and then who is Moomoo's mother? Is that little granny? I'm Moomu. I ain't got a man, my mum's dead. And my granny's dead. And little granny's dead. They've all gone, Tim. I'm the last.

Right. I'm the last of them. And when your mother was there... What about Lucy? One second. When your mother was there, was she called Little Granny, or was she called Mother? She was called Little Granny. And then Little Granny's mother... There was Granny, Mother and Mam, and me.

She had a cat, and we thought it was a... Forget about the cat. We thought it was a game. Yeah, yeah. You thought it was what? Oh, right. Okay. No, so hang on. What I'm Josh trying to say is your mother was called Little Granny.

Is that right? Jill. No, no, okay. At Medcan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health, from the big milestones to the quiet winds. That's why our annual health assessment offers a physician-led, full-body checkup that provides a clear picture of your health today and may uncover early signs of conditions like heart disease and cancer. The healthier you means more moments to cherish.

Take control of your well-being and book an assessment today. Medcan. Live well. life. Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. It's Lucy and Sam's Perfect Brain. Lucy and Sam's Perfect Wakes. I'm here with Mooh, how are you, Moomoo? Oh, I love you calling me Momo, Sam.

Oh, I'm happy to say it even more slowly. Moo-moo. Shall I tell you why I'm called Momo? I'd love to hear the origin of it, yeah. Because when my granddaughter was born, I was hanging her teeth. towel up and it had cows on it. Hey, we're back to cows look, Tim. Insensitive.

And we're not talking to him at the moment. He's sort of, yeah, couldn't be further away. Oh, right, sorry. And yeah, and it had cows on it. And it said, Momo, so there you go. Are you afraid of a day where the grandchild is like, I'm not saying moo-moo anymore. It's stupid. I want to get lip gloss. I want to get magazines. We're already there. Oh, that's a tough time, isn't it? When they leave that world and move into the adult society, but they do come back. I remember a few years ago being on a swing tour and on a swing next to her in Park and we were swinging and I was getting a bit of excited.

And she gave me that look, you know, that look where it's not funny anymore. Oh, that's heartbreaking for a grandparent or a parent, yeah. Because you're that era, you're invincible and suddenly they see that you're human. It's the best thing about being a MoMA or Granny is you get to roll down hills and walk on walls and pretend to be, you know what I mean, you get to play. It's so true. My parents sort of didn't introduce me to society for a long time. They sort of dressed me as a sailor to keep me in that sort of formative stage.

And I don't really blame them for that, you know. They just wanted to keep that innocent little sailor. They dressed you as a sailor, did you say? Yeah. Why is sailor though? Because sailors are, but what do you mean? They just thought, yeah, they just had a nice little sailor outfit that I wore for, Only until I was like 15, and then I sort of went to school and sort of got, yeah, socialised.

Well, you're not homeschooled. Sorry? How do you feel about sailors then, these days? Oh, I do. I feel like you don't see them. Back in the day, wouldn't you see like 50 sailors in a bar and be like, oh, that's a sailor bar and stuff like that? Where are they? I think there's only like five minors left in the UK as well.

Exactly, but eight, do you know what? That's very true. You know, on Esle Road, which is like we're a heart of fishing in all. And there's already used to see them all in their, like, Fish House overalls, or you could tell what profession everybody did because of their overalls. Now you can only... Well, now you've got to go on LinkedIn. Now you can only tell what they do with, you know, on podcasts,

and it's all online now, isn't it? Yeah, that's the games. Friends Only and all that. What is that? Friends only and all that. Only fans. Yeah. Only fans, Tim, Tim, was recently in the top 5% contributors.

Is that true? Yeah, but there's so many contributors that top five is nothing, really. FBI, CIA. Hi, Lucy. What do you want to talk about this time? I mean, we've got a little bit of, we've got, you're owing a couple of animals, but maybe we'll just leave the animals hanging.

But maybe I could ask you some questions, Tim. Oh, that's what I was thinking, maybe. What, you know, breakfasts? Yep, yep, yep. You know when you're in a hotel? Tell me about breakfast. What is it to you? Well, I went to a hotel the other day, and it was all you can eat buffet.

And my agent was there as well. You know, it was like a work thing. And I think I had, what did I have? Well, pancakes. Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah. Maple syrup. Yeah.

And then an omelette, because there was a menu where you could order an omelet and tick a load of boxes. Yeah, yeah. And then I had fruit. Yeah. And then I had a Danish pastry And then I had a black coffee And then I had a pineapple Sorry a grapefruit juice

That cost $35. Ah, okay. So you were in the UK I wasn't in the UK Then she sits down She's just like passing through You know, spots me, sits down, has a yoghurt $35.

She paid $35 as well? Just for one yogurt? Oh, because it's all you can eat. All you can eat. All you can eat. She just grabbed a yogurt and as soon as she'd grab the yogurt, she'd effectively hit the tripwire.

Jesus, Kay. She then eats the yogurt and pays $35 for the privilege. In fact, it went on my room. It went on my room, so I'm paying $35 for this yogurt. God. Oh, I'd have been furious.

Have I said I wasn't furious, Jill? I can't keep quiet about this, Tim. No, I can't keep quiet. I'm still, excuse my French, but I'm still fucking seething. Yes, we're all a bit ticked off. I'm opening the floodgates here. Say whatever you like, Jill.

We're opening the... No, we're not. opening anything. Oh, you open it out. Not at all. I'm asking Lucy if she's ever had a comparable situation.

Have you ever had a friend of yours fleece you or something like that has happened where $35 for a yoghurt though? Tim, she's got a mother that fleece is her?

Be careful. The Manhattan Project at BIA. Thank you so much for joining us. Jill Adams. Thank you so much as always. You surprise us.

You are spontaneous. You are a goddess. Thank you so, so much. Thank you. Always nice to see you. Oh, I really like you, too. I really like you, Mumu. You know, you get the call from, you know, Sam on behalf of Sam and Lucy.

And then I'm like, I'm not, you know, I've got other stuff going on. Then he says, I'll tell you if someone else is coming on, Madame Mumu. And then I sign up. Oh, I'm going to. Well, listen, if I'm ever on that Friends Zone, I'll send you the link. This podcast will be recorded for training purposes only. At Medcan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health, from the big milestones to the quiet winds.

That's why our annual health assessment offers a physician-led, full-body checkup that provides a clear picture of your health today, and may uncover early signs of conditions like heart disease and cancer. A healthier you means more moments to cherish. Take control of your well-being and book an assessment today. Medcan. Live well for life. Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started.