Macrodosing: Arian Foster and PFT Commenter - Billy Almost Got Arrested For Stealing Turtles | NANODOSE

Episode Date: June 20, 2023

On today’s episode Billy details his weekend which included getting pulled over for trying to steal turtles off the side of the road. Plus we get into all different topics like USMNT, the missing submarine, animals and much more.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/macrodosing

Hey, macrodosing listeners, you can find us every Tuesday and Thursday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon music. Dude, they got bonobos, bro. What's bonobos? Oh, they're the most sexual animals on Earth. Oh, my God, what? You ever seen a fucking group of bonobos? Welcome back to nanodosing. It's Tuesday. It's June 20th. We're back. I'm in Nashville, Tennessee, home of Monell's restaurant, which I'm going to try to go to. Big T. Shout up Big T. Big T. Billy and the M&M's. The ladies are in the studio. And then we've got Arian from Houston. Is that new? Is the Eminem's new? I think I said that a couple episodes ago.

I don't know that, but I like it. Mad Dog and McKenzie. People call us that on Twitter. We know what it was. The woke M&Ms. The woke M&Ms. The The female M&M. I just want to say them for names. Can we be the green M&Ms? You guys can be whatever color you want boots. Boots. I want boots.

Oh, that's problem. So they're unwoke. Sleepy Eminem. The boots, I think the boots are nice. The boots are nice. It's not a horny thing. Guys, they don't want to fuck the green M&M. We just want to look at pictures of the green M&M and pretend to get horny about it.

That's all. Is that too much to ask? I'm still pissed about Lola Bunny. I haven't a little bunny. They nerfed her. Yeah. That's a funny way to put it like video game wise, but like what do you get to mean?

Have you seen the new space show? I have it. Give me a, let me see. New Lola Bunny versus old Lola Bunny? New versus old. Yeah. This is a live reaction. Once he sees it,

he'll understand exactly what we're talking about. Because us old heads that remember for the original, the O.G. Lola. Wow. Jessica Rabbit also. Jessica Rabbit was, she was too thick for this world. Jessica Rabbit, you know, it's a cartoon. She has the same body dimensions as that one porn star that Zion's been banging. I think that's, I think that's how she decided what type of body she was going to get created for herself.

She was watching Space Jam. It's like, if I want to get, if I want to get an NBA player, I think, Okay, so if I'm, I'm looking at the low, and these are just the pictures, right? The new versus old Lola Bunny, I think. The older Lola Bama was a little more, she looks a little more thin. Old Lola Bunny was thick. She was doing her squats. She was athletic.

Well, I'm talking about in the midsection. She looks a little thicker in the midsection, the new Lola Bunny. I mean, up top looks around the same. She's definitely thicker, the old bunny, like, thicker up top. I mean, down below. But I mean, I don't know Are niggas is upset about this shit? Yes

Okay Very upset What even is Lola Bunny in in 2023? I don't know but It's just the new space jam right? Yeah Yeah Oh that's right

Anyways Sorry to get horny about a bunny And preserve our right to get horny over cartoon characters Is that too much to ask Hey if we're talking about Cartoon characters that were looking good I think I might have said this before Yeah

Elaster Girl Miss Incredible. I was going to say the same thing. Elastic girl. Thick as hell. To this day. She might be a thing about or Storm from X-Men was fire.

Storm from X-Men was fire. Which is Monday 2 p.m. Just. Yeah. I was a big fan of April O'Neill. Bunk of Olive. Yeah. April O'Neill? Yeah.

You remember April O'Neil? Hold on. Was that gargoyles? No, that was Ninja Turtles. Ninja turtles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gargoyas had one, too. What was her name? Remember Gargoyles? You guys can't, come on, Kim.

You don't remember Gargoyles? Were you guys? No, I didn't watch. No, I remember I didn't watch Gargoyles. So, so I don't know. Gargoyles was fire. That's what I started to write a script, a new script for Gargoyles, like a live action gargoyles to bring it back.

But life is getting in the way, man. But Gargoyles redone in today's era would be fire, dog. So for those that don't know, are too young. Gargoyles was about, I forget how it started. I don't have to go back into the lower, but I think, like, back in England, they had, you know, they had those gargoyle statues and stones. When the sun sets, they become alive. Hell, and they were, like, they were, like, running around in the city and stuff like that.

And so I think they got, like, a Xanatos, that's what it was, Xanatos was like a villain, and he uplifted them. They were in, like, some England castle. He uplifted the castle and put it on the top of some building in New York, like, his, you know, empire. And so at night, they were, like, like, go around and like protect the city fire so you wrote a new a new version of that yeah did take place in england no it was in new york dude so i i need to read the script area you went in on it how deep did you get it's just like the first couple pages this is like you brainstorming do you

have it not on me right now no my my kids have my ipad and there's no telling my my all my family's in town because my cousin have a graduation party so It's this shit show out there, dog. It shit's crazy. I need to find out where you were going to take this new gargoyless reboot. I want to know. But you don't know where the old one went. What are you all interested in the new one?

I want to know because I'm interested in your ideas. Aw. I bet it was good. Did we just have a moment? I think we just had a moment. Yeah. I think people want to hear Aryan's idea for a reboot of a classic cartoon. All right.

Next episode, I have it. I have the rough idea. Me and Collie were going to start working on it, but I never got around involved in him. We should do table read. Yeah, table read gargles. Dude, dude, gargles are sick. They're supposed to ward off evil spirits. Yeah.

I totally. The cartoon was fired, though. Matter of fact, I have vivid memories as a child. Everybody has that one toy that you remember playing with all the time. Like, that was your toy. Like, if you was to move houses, like you made sure that toy, you know, you didn't get lost in the move, right? My toy was I had a Goliath, which was a gargoyle. He had the wings and everything that was detachable.

So it was a Goliath and he used to do Xan, and he used to go against Xenatos. I had a little small Xanatos. And actually I used to make them play football with each other. Like fourth and goal type shit all the time. Oh, Goliath versus Zanatos. I've never told that story as well. That would actually be another good idea for a show is take like a bunch of old cartoons and then put them on different sports teams and have them compete against each other.

The rights involved. to that would be wild. Yeah. Yeah. One teams like the Bud Bowl with Bud Light bottles. The woke bowl. Yeah.

Yeah. No, it's a swim meet. It's a college swim meet. And a bunch of old cartoons are competing with each other. And the Bud Light bottles went by seven laps. Wait, hold on.

I think there was a Super Bowl commercial back of the day with beer bottles, swimming. Yeah. I think that was a thing. Yeah. back in the day back when commercials were commercials back when commercials were good and beer bottles for competing in sports against each other uh you do romanticize everything that you grow up with yeah there are going to be people like 20 years from now that look back and like oh they don't make they don't make good commercials anymore like we had flow no no they're going to like they don't make good tictox like they do anyway that's what's gonna be we had flow and jamie from progressive dora the Explorer was a good time.

Okay. Just, it was a fun show. It sounds like you are in love with Dora. Nope, Kim Possible. I will absolutely. Isn't Dora like eight? No, but Dora, but like that was a fun time. You're going on an adventure.

There was swipers. Yeah, you learned basic Spanish. Yeah, you know, Ola. Ola, my amigos. Ola, so I Dora. It was fun. It sounds like Billy had to retract to take real quick.

No, no, Dora was not I peeped that I peep that too No, no, no, Kim Possible 100% I admit Kim Possible Dora, Dora was just fun Boots

Have you watched Dora in the last six months? Nope Sounds like you may have Nope, I have not I just, Dora like when we were talking about like nostalgia Dora just hit me from the back of the brain

and I was like, whoa, totally Who was your childhood crush PFC? Kim Possible They're talking about shows when I was like Too old to give a shit Mo from God

Mo from guts Okay Okay I got two Was she Australian I feel like she might have been Australian I'm with you I didn't have a thing for her

But I was like That's my dog I was like Mo's my dog But I had two I had absolutely two Patty mayonnaise I used to love Patty mayonnaise

And then Um Uh Wow Topanga from Boyme's World That she was my like You can't tell me

Nothing about Topanga That was I think it was great Lizzie McGuire Yeah I was big into Hillary Duff Oh yeah That Christmas album she had

Like 2003 or four Outstanding She's still killing it She's still killing it She's on how I met your father now Oh so things have really gone south for her I just think she does shit for fun I'm sure Lizzie McGuire check is nice

She is a big second amendment advocate Really There's a picture of her The paparazzi got her with a Glock case coming out of her car. It was like, it was actually very it was like, oh shit, I didn't know Hillary Duff banged like that.

Oh man, yeah. No, she still got it too. Yeah, she does. Sorry, we're getting, I'm, I need to apologize for how. John Morant. Honestly, I see. No, it's just a lighter. I might start showing guns and lives because like

what he was doing, nothing illegal about it. I actually respect the hell out of it. Okay. respect the hell out of it. You know, because he's a, he's got a lot to lose, you know, he's on a live, people know where he is, people are going to, you know, there's a lot of examples of, uh, you know, people getting tracked down after going on live and bad things happening to them. I respect the hell of John Morant. Well, you seem to forget the first incident, uh, the first two were him brandishing a weapon

at a teenager and pointing a gun with a red dot sight on somebody's chest out the window of a car. Well, you know what? So those are kind of illegal. People are going to hate me for this take, but I think that if you want to like show like, hey, I can protect myself when you're in a very open public setting where you can get tracked down. Yeah, it's a bad take for sure. It's a bad take. But no question.

I understand it. No question about it. Like when Aaron was going live when we were at the bar the other night and I was like, oh shit, someone could literally just run in here right now and do something. Why do you have this complex where you think people want to hurt you, really? I think I'm just very paranoid. I'm very sorry about that. But I'm saying have you been like jumped or something like several times when I was growing up

But like we don't have to get into it now, but I'm saying I'm saying like but like now you're always like very paranoid about like if people won't run up on you and shit like well nobody wants to run up on you though If they do they want a picture or to do a beer with you or yeah yeah no it it happens me a couple times look remember I used to ride the subway alone At a young age and I you know I I I value my life experience in those regards and And it made me who I am today, but there was a couple of dicey situations. We don't have to get into it on air. All right. Got it.

Billy in favor of John Morant brandishing firearms, noted. I'll update the stat sheet that we have here. I think no one's riding for him. I totally get what he's doing. That's not true. You need to get on the other side of the internet. I know. I think you can say that he's allowed to own a gun legally.

yes for sure but also probably not the best idea for somebody that's been involved in numerous gun incidents where he's doing illegal things with his gun to constantly be showing his gun on Instagram live you can also Billy you can just choose not to go live on Instagram that's the thing that you can do I don't I don't there is an option true you don't choose to not go live you reject not going live yep I've never got online on Instagram but it's been right the times it was it was his friends live and you know the second time second time first time that may have been a bad take uh we can walk that back but uh hey we didn't do anything you can walk that back you can walk next to it right on back to where it came uh big t i want to get your feedback on the u.s men's national team good stuff you're a big soccer guy and we just dominated the Conquer Calf Nations League second time in a row. This team is actually going to be good.

I'm sick of telling Hank. Hank's rolling his eyes. He's like, oh, boy, U.S. soccer sucks. Billy's like, soccer sucks for stupid sport. Soccer's awesome at the national level. It's like it's one of the last places where you can just be like full throat behind your team.

I'm supporting the USA. I'm talking shit about other countries. I love watching soccer at the international level. The women's team, too. women's team. I love watching them dominate in the women's World Cup. So I, listen, I will not apologize for being excited about U.S. soccer. Hank's like, oh,

oh, the U.S. soccer, you guys said last year that we were going to be dominant. You guys said four years before that we're going to be dominant. No, nobody ever said that last year. We're saying this next World Cup, we're going to be dominated because we got some good players. I don't like the idea of Greg Burholter coming back. I was just going to say they're bringing

the cuck back, though. Yeah, they are. I, you know, I have to say they were saying the exact same shit four years ago to this day. I think you could probably find a sound bite of you saying the exact same thing. I think I remember it's like the U.S. beat Mexico and you were saying the exact same.

I think most people several years ago were like, hey, this upcoming World Cup, we could be pretty good. Nothing like what, like by 20206, we're going to be disgusting. I'm just saying, I don't want to end up. Yeah, can I take that to the bank? Yes.

We should be good in 20206. I will rally around you guys in patriotism. If I, if I can get excited about a U.S. Sogat, 2026, they will, they will seriously compete in the World Cup, like, to win it. I don't want to end up. We should be a top 10 team in 2026 going into the World Cup. But if we're not, then we fucked it up because we've got great players.

I don't want to end up in a bar at 10.30 a.m. getting chirped by Irish dudes that watch soccer there the whole time about us losing to the Dutch at 10.30 a.m. That's Irish. His Irish discussed just every episode, something. happens where he discusses Irish people. It's pretty funny. I live with them. I am one.

But like the thing is they like I'm getting chirped by Irish dudes and they chirp the hardest. They like have the best like quick ones. I have a very easy solution for you. No, but I like that bar too much. Yeah, you don't have to go to a bar. No, but like you can watch your house at a restaurant. No, but like. At a watch party with Americans.

It's the best pool bar and they watch soccer there all the time. like, you know, they're just hanging out of the bar, chirping America and, you know, hey, can't win, can't win. Okay, well, you have several years until that's a problem, but I'm just letting you know we're going to be, uh, can I tell you something, PFT though? I am sad. Um, I feel this way about the Mets. I wish the Mets were a little bit better so that it was fun when they played the Braves.

I wish Mexico was a little bit better because we just beat the shit out of them every time now and it's not as fun. it used to be so fun it was the best rivalry going and these two teams hate each other they still do hate each other and the fans would get into it because nobody play soccer in america like mexicans mexicans mexicans be playing soccer like a motherfucker do we take all them historically they've been pretty good i mean in the world cup we we have beaten them and it's been a one-sided rivalry for the most part on the biggest stages but yeah i i miss the friendly competition that we beat them three nothing and then they had to call the game off early because

because Mexico is being such sore losers. I agree with you, Big T. I also hope that they can get their act together because it's good for sports. Mexico just fired their coach. It's on the ticker. We just saw it, breaking news. Oh, I thought you were pointing at the UT baseball game.

Like, yeah, I've been watching. I know it's on. No, no. They just fired the coach Diego or something. The worst loss of them. Yeah, US got him fired. We killed them. Hell you.

Let's go USA. They've lost, what, six in a row to us? Is it that many? I think so. Yeah. That's not a rivalry anymore. Hell yeah. It's getting there. Her rivalries against the Dutch now.

What's considered, what's considered like the amount of losses before it's, this ain't a rivalry anymore. Because I remember for, what was the, what was the Ohio State Michigan jump? Ohio State was on a, like, it was like, it was a minute. But then Michigan came back and like, you know, revamped the. That's just something that the teams that are winning say, like, We lost 15 in a row to Alabama. We're like, oh, it's not a rivalry. We always beat Tennessee.

Like, yeah, they'd been much better. But like, it will always be. Mexico, U.S. will always be one of the best rivalries. Because they come to play. They come to play. And the fans hate each other. Yeah. Yeah.

I'd say in soccer, if you win four in row against your biggest rival, that's big. Because you're only playing once every year, maybe. Yeah. A couple years. Six in a row is bad. bad time for Mexico soccer. And we have the, the Copa America is here, right?

Next year? I don't know. I think it is. I think we're hosting, yeah, the tournament will be held in the United States. So we're in, for those who don't know, the Copa America has traditionally been a tournament

amongst all the South American teams, but now we're going to be in it, which is going to be a big deal for us, and it's here next year. How do we get in? Because we're so much better Because we've gotten much better And we were like, hey, let us in

They were like, okay So like next year we could be It could be like Argentina, US Copa America final Which would be incredible It's our version of the Euros So the Euros they do them When it's it's not World Cup years

Every four years Where's messy playing nowadays Miami? Yeah, he's joining Inter Miami That's a stupid name for a team I mean him I mean, him not going to the Saudis. That's like, good for him.

Yeah, he got a sick deal. He got a sick deal from Adidas and Apple. They're giving him a huge rev share of all their stuff. Oh, wow. That's awesome. Good for him. I hate that MLS teams are doing the thing where every team is like FC or United. Yeah, like Rial Salt Lake. Yeah, that's the stupidest name.

Salt Lake City had the two dumbest names for sports teams. with jazz and Real Salt Lake. Real Salt Lake might be the worst sports team name in the world. In the history of sports, yes. What's the etymology of Real? Like, I know Real Madrid, but what's it supposed to represent? Royal. Royal.

So is it like the Spanish name for? Yeah. So they named, oh, I don't like that. In Salt Lake City, Utah. Yeah, they named it Spanish. Okay, Jesus. Yeah, it's pretty bad. It's pretty bad.

But the U.S. is going to be nasty. We had this one combination in the game last night where it was Gio Raina taking the ball through the attacking midfield, nice little outside of the foot pass through ball to what's his name, Balagon? Balagon, yeah. So Big T, tell me about this guy, Balagon. Really good. That's about the extent I can give you. He's an Arsenal guy, right? Yep, sure is.

Yeah, I just remember. two things that that John Morant is most likely to be carrying. Bolo Gun. That's good stuff. That's good stuff. Yeah, I just remember, I just remember watching the Netherlands game with troops. And he was like, you guys need balligan. Because at that point, he could still pick between the U.S. and England,

and I think maybe one more place, but it was the U.S. and England. And then we got him, and he scored in his second game, and he's nasty. He is nasty. I hate that. And if we can, if Greg can, figure out a way to get along with the Raina family and get geo involved, then we're going to be good. That's what I'm most worried about. Greg, as far as being a head coach goes, he seems like he seems like he's organized. I think that's his biggest strong suit is he's a very organized individual.

But if you can't get along with your best players, that's going to be an issue. Yeah, I can't believe we fired a guy just to hire him back. It's kind of insane. We did a coaching search and then it's like, okay, we're just going to go with the same guy. That's kind of like, granted, obviously Danny White knew what he was doing, it worked out, but Tennessee hired like this search firm, paid him a million dollars or whatever when they did their coaching search,

and Danny White just hired Josh Heppel. Danny White came from UCF. He hired Josh Heppel there, and he goes to Tennessee and just hires the guy that he hired before. Granted, obviously, correct decision, but kind of the same deal, except Greg Burrhalter's, like,

largely incompetent. Largely, yes. I should say that today's episode is brought to by 3C because they're a presenting sponsor. Have you guys said any 3C recently? Aaron? I have not, man. I've been, it's too hot to do anything over here.

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We're going to keep this one tight. But I'd be remiss if I didn't tap in with Billy, because I know that when you explained your box turtle theft, your heist that you had. Diamondback terrapins. When you explained it on part of my take, you gave an abridged version, I want to know what details you left out of that because, Aaron, if you're not familiar,

Billy almost got arrested for stealing turtles yesterday. Okay, so, it's a long story. I was leaving, I was with my dad, we were getting stuff. It was Father's Day, you know, getting some stuff because I was smoking meats the night before. I put in a good eight hours on the smoker. Was getting some buns, you know, some coalslaw stuff. So we're leaving the house, we're driving.

And all of a sudden, I see that. that there's a bunch of turtles crossing the road. Multiple turtles in different places. Dimeback terrapins, they're nesting. They're trying to breed right now, trying to nest. So I pull over, I start picking up a bunch of the turtles, put them in the truck, keep driving, see more, pick them up, put them in the truck. Throughout this whole time that I'm collecting these native endangered turtles,

because I'm going to put them on the other side of the road. I just wanted to get them all out of the road first and put them in one place. Dimepack terrapins. if you didn't know are actually very, very expensive on the free market. They're about 1,500 a pop for an adult. Why is that? Because they are beautiful. They are beautiful.

If you Google Diamondback Terrapin right now, they are a beautiful turtle. Are they $1,500 because they're beautiful or $1,500 because they're illegal? A little bit of both. Oh, man. This guy. A little bit of both. A little bit of both. So anyway, a cop, I think it was, I couldn't get a good read on the side of the

truck because I just saw sirens, I get pulled over. The guy's like, what are you doing with all these turtles in the back of your truck? I'm like, I was trying not to stop traffic. I get taken out of the car, searched. My dad, my dad was just like, you're getting so much fucking stupid situations. Why are you doing this in the car? He's like getting pissed. And, uh, anyway. Do they check your pockets? They They searched my whole truck because they thought I was stealing turtles. Why would they think you were still in turtles? Because I was pulling over and picking up turtles on the side of the road. And they thought I was like illegally like trying to sell them on the free market.

But I was literally just trying to get them all out of the road. And I knew where that they wanted to go. I knew where they wanted to go. It was a freshwater marsh. A little brackish. Yeah. Yeah. This actually, this is kind of low key proof that profiling works.

from time to top. The cops saw Billy and they're like this guy, this guy checks all the boxes fits everything I know about a would-be turtle heist. I'm going to pull him over, stop and frisk and see what he's got on him. And this cop was right. No, they searched my truck. Good detective work. Dave the turtles bring back stop and frisk. Yeah. They're like, what are you doing? The funniest thing is I pray to God someone finds the dash cam footage. You can request it. it. I'll try. I don't know which department it is, but there is dash cam footage of me getting searched

with like a... You didn't ask for their name and badge number? No, I was just like, I was trying to get out of trouble. I was trying to get out of trouble. I was trying to get out of trouble. I was like, yeah. That is probably going to, if I was getting stopped for turtles, I don't know that I'd do that either. I was like, you know, whipping out PBA cards, like if you're not coming to crime, hey,

Americans, fellow Americans, if you're not committing a crime and you feel like police is on, you? you get their name and badge number. I was absolutely committing a crime though. Oh, you were? Yeah, it's absolutely crime. I'll admit to it. I don't know that the statute of limitations is up on that.

I know, but it's totally illegal for me to be collecting wild turtles. I was just making sure they didn't get run over because there was a couple of runover ones on the road already. And I was just trying to put them in a safe place, but also realistically why I was collecting them. So I was trying to take pictures of them. I wanted to write a blog about it because of like, you know,

content content. Wait, ha, ha, So time out, you were getting turtles from the side of the road, putting them in your car and you were going to transport them where? To a, so it was in a seaside type community. They're basically migrating from the marsh to the sand dunes to lay eggs because that's where they lay their eggs. So they were all females and I was trying to put them, they were coming back from laying eggs and they're going back to the marsh. They were crossing the road a certain way. They were all going one direction.

Why is that illegal? because you're not supposed to they're very endangered and I was trying to help but to the outside eye diamond back terramers you know the the private collectors would pay a pretty penny for a dime back terrapin they're they're very beautiful turtles um so I was going to put them back to the marsh uh but just trying to get as many as I could off the road while I could and not have them run over it was a whole thing really when you when you initially explained it you use the word deposit you're going to deposit them. To me, that's like, it's like a Freudian slip because you would not use the word deposit

if you weren't thinking about a bank. I was going to keep one. I saved 15 and keep one. Like, that's like, you know, come on. So what did you end up doing with them? Well, the cop made me deposit them while he was watching and he literally walked me to where I said I was going to put them and I had to release all of them. That seems more than fair.

Yeah. we have to find this dash cam footage it was he wearing a body cam too so i think he was fishing wild life so i don't think he had a body cam i don't think that maybe no because i think it was fish in wild life i because i don't think he was wearing a body cam because i don't think they'd get in that much trouble uh to need body cam footage i think there's definitely dash cam footage but it would be hilarious content listen billy this this sounds like it also could have been entrapment because the game warden maybe he put those turtles out there because he knew that you were coming down the road

and he knows you. You would not have done that if it wasn't, if the opportunity didn't explicitly present itself right in front of you, right? The turtles were absolutely asking for it. I won't deny. They were just walking on the road, helpless. What were they wearing? I mean, if you look up a diamond back terrapin, they are beautiful turtles. There's not that many turtles. Yeah. And I'm going to keep a buck with you bro it just looked like a regular turtle to me I don't know much about turtles though and

couldn't care less about them so that's just from the untrained eye but if you look at them that like the dot like they're they're way prettier than a Eastern painted you know what I'm saying or a snapping turtle like they're a jewel they're a living jewel I wish so bad that Billy would have gotten arrested

and had to go to jail for stealing turtles that'd have been funny shit actually would have sold the shit out of some t-shirts Billy this literally just looks like a turtle No but come on Look at the shell Look at the dots in the shell

I don't know I'm admitted I saw I was watching naked and afraid The other day and these motherfuckers Caught a turtle Off team or her And they had eggs In that motherfucker And they ate the turtle egg

Her eggs She had ate her eggs And uh That's my extent of turtle knowledge is I didn't know you could eat turtle eggs they're actually a delicacy a lot of like Caribbean towns sea turtle eggs

are like super expensive and you can eat them they serve them with like rum in like milkshakes and a lot of yeah you're definitely going to eat one of them have you ever had turtle I've eaten turtle

I haven't eaten turtle eggs because usually those are sea turtle eggs and you actually a lot of they serve sea turtle meat in a lot of like the Bahamas Cuba

It's very illegal, but quite tasty. What's the main difference between like a sea turtle and like a, I don't know, a river turtle? So sea turtles, they have flippers. They don't have feet because they only come to shore to breed and they fly through the water. It's majestic. It's like something, it's a type of beauty that only nature could create. Like a man, like a man. This guy loves turtles.

Somebody out there has to know how to be the of information act or quest to get our hands on this dash cam footage i don't even know if he turned it on because he lit me up yeah if you let you up then his lights then his camera was yeah and he was like what the fuck are you doing i was like i'm making sure he said that crash yeah because he was like who's this guy collecting all the turtles it was a whole thing i mean got out of it killing me like why why can't you just as nicely what the fuck you got to talk to people yeah i see that about what's your name did he say that verbatim i totally deserved the treatment i got and is that actually what he said

I was like what the fuck are you doing nah hell no see that that is that I was like sorry just make I didn't want to stop traffic pick up dirt well I was stopping picking up the turtle stopping traffic I was causing it was a bit of cross yeah I was kind of it was a little the fact that Billy is saying that he deserved it tells me

that Billy was definitely going to do some weird shit with these turtles I wasn't you would not be saying that if you were not if you had pulled over altruistically just trying to save these also Billy why did you need to put them in your truck you could just take them and then put them on the side of the road there's too many there's too many I was trying to not stop traffic it was like a whole thing like people there's a lot of cars beeping they didn't know what I was doing it was an absolute scene yeah like it was totally egregious but also you admitted you admitted a second ago that you were going to keep one of them well I was thinking about it like it was a developing thought hard not to it was developing thought like the prettiest one I was going to keep because a bail yeah a pack of turdeme is called a bail. Yeah. I was hauling a bail of turtles.

And Johnny Law didn't like it. All right. Let me tell us where to get this dash cam footage. We need it. I need it so badly. A group of sea turtles is called a flotilla. Oh, that's fucking gangster. A flotilla of turtles.

Floatilla. Which is also what you call a group of warships. Hell yeah. Dude, imagine like finding Nemo, they ran to a flotilla of sea turtles. turtles, that's dope. It's dope. All right. Well, Billy, I was going to say, I'm glad that you didn't get arrested, but I really wish that you got arrested. That would have been an all-time excuse for you to not show up to part of my take yesterday. You're in jail because of sea turtle theft.

Sorry, Diamondback tort towards theft. Diamond-back terrapins, they're actually brackish water, which is very interesting because they're one of the only turtles that can survive in salt water besides sea turtles. Terps. Yeah. Yeah. Maryland Terps. That just, that just don't know me.

Okay. Is the Maryland Terps, are the Terrapins? Are they Diamondback Terrapins? Let me look up because I think in that basin, I think in that there might be, they might be a different space. That would make sense. So sea turtles don't even have feet. They just got flippers, yeah. Maryland Terrapins.

That's why they're so slow when they do the, like, walking like this on the ground. It makes sense. Yeah. you know what it is a diamond back it is a diamond back terrapin that's where it comes from evolution or a painted terrapin all right go church it's actually a painted terrapin turtles are beautiful it's it's so crazy you guys were you guys were bound to be together somehow in some some way and work together he's obsessed with turtles and you're obsessed with the galapagos islands this was bound to happen those are tortoises and the glopagos

oh fuck off same shit they do no billy hasn't even seen real tortoises in his life If he's never been to the Galapagos, these things are awesome. These things are way cooler than a therapist. Look, I went to a dude's house, and he had a bunch of Galapagos torsies illegally obtained, and he had some African spur tortoises that were illegally obtained. Do you have any illegal animals? No comment. What's one animal that you would risk it all for?

Like going to jail. Komodo Dragon. If you could get your hands on a Komoto Dragon, you would put it. in your backyard? You would, I mean, the thing is, that thing is so dangerous. I think it's way cooler than like a gator or a crocodile. Like, that is a dinosaur. It would kill you.

Oh, one bite. You know what they do? You know how many tourists die visiting the Komodo Islands and they just don't, like, advertise it and they don't even kill the Komoto because the human life is way more populous than the rare Komodo dragon that killed it? It's insane. There's like a couple tourists a year Get bit or eaten

It's insane Yeah their bodies get consumed right Well the thing is they're technically venomous The bacterial load of a Komodo dragon bite is insane They like bite a water buffalo And they just follow it for a week waiting for it to die A fever And it's insane

I don't want to be that guy Because that sounded like wild that annually people get killed by Komodo dragons. That was just new to me, so I just looked at it just really quick, really quick. It's probably way lower than I'm saying, but there have people died. Only five people have been killed by Komodo dragons

in the last 50 years. That's that we know. 24 people have been attacked. That we know about. That we know about. Gotcha. Yeah, that we know about. Okay, well, if you see a Komoto dragon,

stay away from it. I want to get back to one last item of discussion, or unless you guys have anything else that you want to bring up but um this show is brought to you by hey dude have you got your hey dude shoes yet billy yes i just got them so i've been wearing rocking a pair of hey dudes all summer and summer has been pretty short and i'm now putting on the newest pair i just got i've been so excited for this i've wanted to wait for this moment to put on my new pair of hey dudes they're so comfortable they're so versatile there's like they get it done they get the job done i'll just

say that. Yeah, the great shoes. Fantastic shoes. The number one shoe to wear if you're thinking about absconding with terrapins. Hey dude makes one of the world's most comfortable shoes. They're so comfortable. They make your feet. They make your day better. Not just your feet. They make your entire day better. You feel better when you're wearing a pair of Hey dudes. And right now they've got an awesome offer. It's the type of sale. It only happens a few times of year from June 11th through June 24th, get 25% off almost everything at haydud.com using promo code dude 25. They're super lightweight, easy to put on. You just slip right in, no tying necessary, a ton of variety, whether it's prints,

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I'm about to get on a plane in a couple of. hours perfect for getting on a plane easy on and off through security i i i can't i i love these shoes too much okay i can tell absolutely did you had date hey dudes on and slipped on some new hey dudes yep that was real mr rogers to ask i don't know if you used to do that shit out of so i'm sorry yeah rogers love it love it um there's one thing i wanted to get into i don't know if there any items of discussion you guys want to bring up there's a sub that went missing off the coast of nova scotia there's like a tourist sub that takes people down to look at the the wreck of the titanic yeah and they go down like 12,000 feet underneath the surface to look at it and it went

missing they got to be gone like that seems pretty cut and dry what a what a way to go keep your ass out the ocean you know foes got them i i don't listen i i think that That's incredibly sad. That's terrible that that happened. If you're getting on a tourist submarine to go look at the wreckage of the Titanic, you already know one thing has sunk there. Okay. And now you're going to look at it.

It's terrible. What happened, whatever happened, that's awful. But this is why you don't, you don't fuck with the water. You don't get in the water. Especially that much water. That's so deep. See, we may have talked about that whale that swallowed the kayak. Yeah.

Yeah, the kayak people. Like, he was, I think he was just getting some fish or something because whales don't eat people. But, whole, they was in, they was in that niggum mouth. Jonah. The whole thing. They was in that, yeah, it was in his mouth, bro. He spit him out because he don't like us. But could you imagine being in the whale's mouth for like 20 seconds?

Dude. How terrifying that would be, bro. Fuck the smell. just you're in a mouth you're in a mouth that's the brer i will never be in there you'll never catch me in the ocean brushing up against the baleen freaking thousands of filtering teeth wow i'm sure you'd be thinking of that look at this majestic baleen no that bail bailing they have weird teeth to filter out like nemo yeah i mean think like that's a that's such a biblical experience like jill is in the well's stomach though bring a candle down there bring a pen right the next great american novel while

you're inside his stomach that yeah that would be terrifying it seems like the ocean's been fighting back orcas between all these whale attacks aywa sharks that are well has woken yeah there were there's some sharks that that jumped on a netflix boat that were filming a uh documentary about the ocean love and and the sharks started to jump onto the boat and attack the camera people love it They're like, but think about it, bro. They crib is hot right now and they can't turn the temperature down. They're like, they all fucking with us. You ever been at a construction site when it's like 90 degrees?

I actually think there's a direct correlation between heat and fights in places. No, Billy's not wrong on that. People get more, people get more agitated, the hotter is. That's why there's all the, there's always fights in training camp. It's hotter than hell and half of Georgia in this studio right now. and I am ready to get out of here. I think it makes her takes hotter, though. I like working in this heat.

I think it's like we're in the hot box. We're going hard. I was just in Austin and it was 102 degrees like every day that we were down there, just miserable out in the sun. But it does hit different when you go back inside. You get that AC rush. Oh, that's so good. But yeah, stay out of the ocean.

They don't want us there. Do you see that shark attack in Egypt? I've been getting so many graphic videos on my 4U page on Twitter. I don't know if that's just me. Do you follow clips that go hard? That seems like that would be up your alley. Yes. I saw a Mormon get killed by a lion. Yeah.

It's pretty fucking nuts. Why is the fact that he was Mormon relevant? He was a Mormon missionary in Guatemala. And he was trying to take a picture next to the line exhibit and he just got taken. I feel like you're seeking out these videos. I'm not. Clips that go hard is a Twitter account that, like, post, people getting murdered and shit.

Okay, so you're seeking them out. I don't follow them. You just said for you. She just said, do you follow this page? You said yes. Okay, my bad, I don't actually follow it. I'll pull it up, but it pops up my four-you page. Do you use them and tweet them on the macrodosing account sometimes?

Appropriate ones. Like the rhino one you tweeted last night? Yeah, well, that was appropriate. That was a good video. It was an elephant in Musk fucking up a rhino. like think about this there's something in the world that can throw its weight around and like take down a rhino that's insane it just dominated the rhino yeah on our bully ball on our back end uh where you where you write blogs on our website there's a place where the editors and the people who run it can post little messages so that

they know you see them and there's been one up there for almost a year that in all caps says no more dead animals specifically because of billy yeah that's the billy rule well Derek Wolf, but the thing is, like, Derek Wolf kills a mountain line that's been terrorizing livestock in the area. He goes on Joe Rogan, but I can't blog it. Come on. You know, you can blog it.

Just no videos of animals die. Well, I blog. It'd be hard to blog that without the video. You could draw it. 500 pound cougar, just Derek Wolf, this massive human being carrying this gigantic lion that he killed. That's insane. With a bow, bow and arrow.

Yeah, you can draw it. You just can't put the video up. Bullshit. Sorry, we're taking away Billy's First Amendment. We're taking away to John's Second Amendment. We're not going to force you to quarter any soldiers, Billy. I promise you that. There was a 500-pound cougar.

I may be exaggerating. There's no way that thing was 500 pounds. It may not be 10 gallons of water in a condom, but. Got you. Yeah. No more dead animals. The clips that go hard, those clips do, in fact, go hard. But I was sitting at my computer where Big T's sitting right now.

This is like last week and Billy was over on the couch and he's just looking at his phone and out of nowhere. I was like, I think I was prepping for an interview. Billy just is looking at his phone. He goes, oh, man, a Mormon just got eaten by a lion in this video. And then he just kept watching it. I was like, Billy, I don't need to. That's not news that I need you. You saw it?

Yeah. I mean, he survived. he lost an arm and a arm and a leg i think but he like oh man what a what a like what a thing to lose it's like they did a saying like yeah i'll give an arm and a leg for that like but when i'm watching it it's like film study like if i'm ever in that situation what did he do wrong what can i what do i need to do to prep because it's never going to happen but like hypothetically if i end up one on one with a lion i want to know all right billy give us give us your give all the listeners out there your recommendation what do you do if you're attacked by a lion i i still don't know

i still don't know i don't want to give that recommendation there's no you don't win you die i think i think i think they're not scared to you you know what i'm saying they're scared in the sense of like they don't know what it is right but like if they are charging you this shit is over My mom sent me a video of a bear cub, a grizzly bear cub, like dancing on its hind legs. And I was like, that is the most terrifying video ever. I know it looks cute. There's a little bear cub, but you know what that means that there's a bear cub right there? Mom, mama, yeah, mom's nearby and you're about to get killed because you're filming the cute bear doing a dance.

But that mom and bear is going to come and kill you. And that's like the most, it was the eeriest video I ever saw. Because like, someone was like, oh, my God, look the cute little bear. And then it's like, oh, shit. Dude, mom bears. I respect, I respect nature so much. Hell you. Stay away from her.

I will not. I'm not interested in any of that. Like, I'm in my house, the majority of the time. Nature scares me. Yeah. That's definitely one of those videos, like videos taken 15 seconds before disaster. No, you ever see that John? What a lady snowboarding is she got the GoPro and there's a bear chasing her?

That's fake video. I've seen. Oh, that's not real? It's not real. It's edited. It's edited. Holy shit. A scarier video, though, is these mountain bikers or ATVers, and they get charged by a bear.

And the only reason that the bear runs away is because one of the guys is revving his engine to scare it away. That's a scary-ass video. Bears literally all like the monsters that haunt our nightmares are just like our PTSD from ancestors who encountered bears. Like that's the monsters that hunt our nightmares are based off of bears. Nothing else. actually probably other things but nothing else but like bears

like the monster at the end of the movie it's all bears you were terrified of bears oh I I yeah no dude I respect the fuck out of bears because they're our biggest

they were our biggest competition like we're rolling out in the woods it's bears dude did you know I went to the Central Park Zoo this weekend for the first time there's just bears there are bears

and they're three they're three girls yeah girl boss bears girl boss bears There used to be polar bears. I was sad, but the Central Park Zoo kind of made me sad. Also, I was lied to.

Madagascar lied to me. There was not a ton of huge animals there. Yeah, there used to be. But Central Park Zoo is a really great zoo for where it is. Totally. No, it's mid. It's mid. It's mid.

It's a mid zoo if you're taking away the environment that you're in. It's also $13 to go, which. I used to have a membership there. I was looking into getting a membership, but then I realized I'm moving away. But yeah. No, Lincoln Park Zoo. Lincoln Park Zoo. Lincoln Park Zoo, free and good animals.

Hmm. I'm about to do Hocker Rocks all up in the Lincoln Park Zoo. Bronx Zoo goes fucking hard. I want to go to the Bronx Zoo now. They got bonobos, bro. What's bonobos? Oh, they're the most sexual animals on Earth. Oh, my God, what?

You ever seen a fucking group of bonobos? Dude, they're... They're the matriarchy, ain't it? Yeah, their matriarchy. They just go at it. Like, bonobos, like, path of human evolution diverged at a common species. Wait, they're monkeys.

Yeah, they're apes. And, like, bonobos just were like, we're just going to fuck for the rest of eternity. And then, like, humans are like, we're just going to beat the shit out of each other. And that's how humans and bonobos happen. Wait, do they have boobs? Yeah. Interesting. Dude, they're like the hippie monkey, dude.

I mean, ape, but bonobos are insane. Oh, I also need to save the whales now. I'm in on that. Orcas are dolphins. Orcas. we need to save the orcas. There's a TikTok account that's a whistleblower account for the orcas, I got to save them.

Orcas, dude, there's, dude, nature's just awesome. Nature's metal. I know. A moment, ain't you? Yeah, Billy had a real moment there with bonobos, if you heard them right when you got into that bonobo conversation. Yeah. The only thing I'll add to the bear conversation is that I'm once again asking for Hollywood

to make a movie about Vodgetek the bear that helped the Polish army back in World War II. This needs to be a fucking movie. It needs to be a movie. They had a bear cub that became friends with all the soldiers. And then they would have the bear carry around artillery for them. So it would like walk around carrying these giant shells. And then it became best friends with the soldiers. They would get drunk together at night.

It would eat cigarettes. And I think they trained to smoke cigarettes too. But it would eat cigarettes and drink vodka. and it was like their best friend. There's statues of WojTec all over Europe. It's a legendary bear. Maybe the coolest bear ever. It's actually a bear that fought the Nazis.

This needs to be a goddamn movie, Hollywood. Get off your ass. After we're done with the gargoyal script, we're going to put together a Vodgetek script. I'm actually down with that. Yeah, like the studio that brought you Cocaine Bear, by the way, there are no bonobos of the Bronx Zoo. I don't know why they thought there was bonobos there.

Sorry. It's okay. It's all right. But can we do, can we do the Vogstack script? I mean, if they did cocaine bear, Wodecheck, like, it's a real shame that we try to make our bears look like dry addicts and not war heroes. Yeah. Yeah. Vogetek, the Nazi killer. Yeah. Do you tell me people wouldn't get off their ass and go see that movie? You tell me a bear getting into a Nazi trench and just tearing up Nazis isn't going to do numbers? Yeah, it will. One million percent will do numbers. I'm actually going to make a note here. I'm going to write it.

I'm going to write it. But this is going to be a short nanodosing. We're going to try to dial back the nanodosings on Tuesdays. So for the next couple weeks, we're going to try to keep it. The original intent was what, like a 20-minute episode? 10. It was like, yeah, it was going to be a 10-20 minute. They crept up.

They crept up. They got to like an hour, hour and a half. Today was an hour. So, yeah, we're going to try to bring it back to the more. normal-sized nanodosings on Monday and then we'll still do the long-ass episodes coming out on Thursdays. We have a topic

that we want to get into on Thursday? Not yet. Okay. We should have it by next. Of course we'll have it. We will have it. Yeah. By the due date, we'll get it. Yeah, it'll be there. I mean, I would do Wojtchtec. I would talk about Wodgettec. Long-ass time. Dude, the Polish,

they're, you know, I wouldn't be surprised at there not more Polish bears today in the army. Mm-hmm. Like, those Asiatic brown bears, they're a different type of bear. Are you afraid of them? They're not, they don't go as hard as grizzlies, but they're, you know, like, that's the Russian bear. You know what I'm saying? They're scrappy.

Yeah. Go with hard. All right. Well, we'll, uh, we'll see you guys on Thursday. Love you guys very much. And, yeah, it should be good sewed. If you eat polar bears, you get vitamin A poisoning. So don't eat polar bears.

All right. I won't. Just their livers. Love you guys.