Macrodosing: Arian Foster and PFT Commenter - NANODOSE: The Billy of Rights

Episode Date: January 6, 2022

On today's episode of Nanodosing (Snackrodosing, Minidosing, Lil' Macro, etc.), Billy presents his own personal Bill of Rights. Make sure to tune into Macrodosing, every Tuesday at 7am EST.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/macrodosing

Hey, macro dosing listeners. You can find us every Tuesday and Thursday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Three, two, one. That was a good clap. Everybody was on the same page. Welcome back to nanodosing, mini dosing, a small version of macro dosing. It's Thursday.

I don't know what day. Oh, I'm not, I was about to make a joke for the record. I did not make the joke. You can probably figure out what I was not. Good thing you didn't say it, you fucking dumb ass. I didn't say anything. For the record, this show's so fucking stupid. Happy January 6th to all those who are right.

Why is, why big T getting so defensive about January 6th? No, you guys are all, I'm not, I'm going to stop talking from. I'm going to stop talking. I catch some January 6 strays every now and, like, I don't know if that's a great phrase to use. Well, no, like someone was, oh, sell. ring tomorrow and I was like what what are you talking about if you didn't want catch strays maybe you should have obeyed the lawful order billy what anyways welcome back to nanodosing it's a very special episode I got off to a hot start erin is trying to work on

his his internet issue he's got some problems with the power down in texas again I don't know what's going on with with the electric grid down there but I'm pretty sure they didn't do anything to fix anything and he's got the most money he's got the most money out of all of us combined He should have the best internet. Oh, no. I saw one website, one of those Celebrity Not Worth websites. Oh, no. Said that I have $500 million.

Oh, all right. Pretty good. Okay. So, big news. Big news for me. You would, you would stink with five. Like, I feel like you wouldn't be a great rich guy. No, I wouldn't.

Coley's 100% right. I would just be the same. Right. I feel like I'd still wear just shitty old clothes, just anything that people gave me for free. I think my life would be, there'd be. no difference in my life right now if I had a billion dollars. Right.

I would say, it would be a waste. Yeah. The whole point of having a billion dollars is to not have to worry about buying stuff and to just talk about sports and dick jokes for a living. You'd be like when they showed Warren Buffett like in his old Cadillac.

And going to get the same McDonald's order every day. The people on Twitter would start using you to go viral being like billionaires don't buy Gucci belts and it would just be a picture of you. No, I actually read up that actually a lot of billionaires are assholes.

They just have great publicists that like give out the mantra like, oh Warren Buffett only goes to McDonald's. Oh, like Mark Zuckerberg only wears the same thing every day. I believe that to make them more relatable. I think Warren Buffett is probably true. Yeah. I can see Warren Buffett. But I think Mark

Zuckerberg, all that stuff is he's got an army of PR robots. you saw that video of him like just standing in front of a car door until someone would open it for him no yeah it was pretty it's pretty douchy it was just like seriously man i would never use a car if i was if i was helicopter just helicopter everywhere or just hold on to a drone let it fly you um yeah i'd be a i'd be a terrible terrible rich person um i would like to see billy with money though that would be fun he i'd get it done the right way you would be like the dog whisper except with every species nah bro i i'd literally

I'd use the money for public works and, like, good stuff, but like... Like what? I don't have the money yet. I can't think about it. Billy would build roads? I'd build fucking sky roads because that's where we need them. Where it's not America, we talked about the trains because we can't have, we have private land, can't put trains. We're doing sky trains that are, you know, public.

We'll work on it. We'll work on it. We'll get there. Actually, underground. I don't, wait, hang on. So the subway. Yeah. Exactly what Elon Musk has been saying.

Sky trains or underground trains? We're going to work on which one's best for the people. I, I, I, you had me at Sky Trains. Scott, they might, they might hurt the birds. They might hurt the birds.

No, you know what I do? We're cloning woolly mammoths. Number one. Get that done. Get that helps people. Talking shit. No,

that might, I saw a time to say that might help climate change. That was a shout out. Marshall, Chicago guys. They had the scientists on to explain that. What else would I do? I would All right, for another episode.

You'd make a frog with the biggest vagina. No, that smaller vaginas. Got it. All right. Billy would have animal fight club. Like it would be bears fighting sharks and stuff like that. Like things that did not help humanity at all. No, it would be great entertainment.

I'd go make a private island, international waters, new age, Coliseum, finally get the guerrilla versus grizzly bear debate over, you know, the people need to know that. I would also like to bring back circuses. Okay. I feel like we haven't had a big circus boom in this country for a hundred years, maybe more. PFT Barnum. Yeah, there you go.

There's a sucker born every minute. Suckers haven't been stopped being born. We've just stopped taking advantage of them in the same way. So, yeah, let's bring the circuses back. kind of in billy's you know what he's saying with you know have the animals actually do more cool shit in the circus maybe not kill each other but what if you had what if you had trapezes and it was like guerrillas and shit that were swinging around out there holly train gorillas you got basically the olympics but for animals that's what my circus would be yeah i always see i always see

these videos of monkeys like driving motorcycles we need to get those monkeys when they do the monkey rodeo thing when the monkey's riding the sheep dog at halftime that's the best halftime ceremony that you can have I don't know it's not a ceremony I guess

but the best half time event oh you know what dude I'd figure out how to actually control weather okay and then I'd make it fucking rain and everything you've said

has been a Simpson's plot surrounding C Montgomery Burns like you've gone an evil billionaire with every idea you've had no no I control the weather make it rain where it needs rain, and I make it not rain where it's flooding.

Where does it need rain? I bless the rains down in Africa. Okay. You'd flood Africa. No. California, the Sahara Desert. Mm-hmm. Okay.

Give those people rain. I just feel like it wouldn't it be cool to have actual Animal Olympics? Eh. Billy, you would buy so many tickets. Yeah, but the thing is the competition between different species. it would like what like you just said you want to have them fight to the death i'm trying i'm just having them compete for medals yeah but what making like a shark race a whale a whale yeah i go phelps yeah exactly that was a dud i think it'd be cool to have to to bring back circuses

but do it in a way that appeals to the modern generation robot fights battlebots yeah that actually happens that's pretty lit real life pacific rim that'd be pretty cool but we wanted to convene today because we have a very special assignment billy was tasked by mad dog who is billy's boss to write an internet bill of rights and so i guess the first question is billy did you do it yes i have 10 you have 10 rights and these are rights for users this is rights these are the rights of everyone who uses the internet okay all right now did you list them in order of importance or is it just like here's the first one's pretty important. I think we're

going to take the most time discussing. I'll give you the floor, go ahead and introduce these bills the bill of rights in the way that you would like to have it discussed. The internet billy of rights. And I'm just going to read all 10 of them. I would like no comments until I finish all 10. Then we can start with number one. Yeah, I'm sure

that's going to work out. The right to freedom of speech with identity. I like your name on it. Number two. wait i have a question about that wait for all time equal access to upload the right to equal access to upload and download infrastructure getting a little socialist now well well just wait just wait i don't know what downloading infrastructure the public infrastructure okay that clarifies okay okay okay

wait i can number three i can download a library number three the right to protection from Massive data harvesting. Okay. Number four, the right to one's own identity. Everyone must have a biometric attached user interface. Number five. That doesn't sound like a right to me as much as it is. The right to protect.

You have to upload a piece of your DNA to you. That's a vaccine passport. No, it's not. That's an internet passports are. No. You don't know what biometrics are. It's literally we're just making sure. Okay.

Well, explain that. Let's stay on this one for a second. I want that explain to me. Where's the first four? How is that a right? You're saying you're trying to act like you're giving us, you're giving us liberty, but you're saying your right is that you have to give us a piece of your DNA.

We'll give you a QR code that you can show when you go into a restaurant. How many fake PFT comments or accounts are there out there? Probably a lot. How many like big T troll accounts are there? Quite a few. What I'm struggling to see is you can't pretend to be Big T unless you have big T's biometric data, which is from your eyes, your face scanning technology, fingerprints, all these things could

If you want to collect everyone's fingerprints and retina scans in order to so this is where is this going let's get back. Who's collecting this? Yeah yeah. Get back to the first. Let's get back to the first. Is it a government? Let's who validates it you know let's go back to is it. Is it meta? Who's getting okay. Let's go back to the really. No, no, no, no. It's serious question. Okay. Okay. If I want to prove I'm pft commenter and i upload a retinal scan you would be illegal under this internet okay under the first no people are not illegal billy okay no one's illegal we don't right you can no longer earn a living wage using the internet pft yeah all right so arian just joined us um arian how's your how's your how's your power doing it the power's fine well i'm going through a remodel so everything's

kind of like hectic right now so that'd be like the power cut off and the internet goes in and it's like shaky, but it's good right now. Are you worried at all about this upcoming winter, given what happened to Texas last year and the fact that really not anything has changed in the last 12 months? I mean, not from where I stay. I know that's shitty to say, but I don't think we'll be affected like that. But it'll be the, it's the inner city stuff that really gets affected. And the infrastructure in the inner city isn't really equipped to deal with the harsh winters.

Gotcha. All right. Well, Billy, do you want to just run through those? first four again we won't comment on them let's just let's go but billy's billy's giving his bill of rights so he's got 10 rights um just rewind them real quick for aaron we won't comment on the day the right to freedom of speech with identity number two equal access to upload and download public infrastructure on a real go real where identity meaning uh you gotta you got to hang in there let him get

to number four you'll love it you'll love it the right to one's own identity number five the right to protected access to curate an entertainment education for individuals under 18 you skipped one no that was number four the right to challenge to hand-to-hand combat trolls by either yourself or a champion number seven no no goli looks confused what's confusing about that that's that's the one straightforward forward possible bill of right that you can drop is just like you can fight anyone it's completely contradictory to numbers one and four no but you're allowed to say whatever you want but people also have the right to challenge you to hand-to-hand combat sure I mean you could do that now there just wouldn't be trolls like that wouldn't they wouldn't what is what is the what is the consequences of hand-to-hand combat it's just I mean maybe not yet Like, let's say, let's say, just for example, the time you were trying to troll Aryan Foster about wolves, if he had challenged you to hand-to-hand combat and he wins, like, what happens then? Then I have to, I'm so there I am beaten down and I might not.

I might not. well at that time i was 18 so uh very different i'm beating where i stand you can beat them now is that what you're trying to say yeah yeah hold on bill i whip your ass right now man what is you what is you on anyway so uh then i might not troll again it's it's it's fuck around five out yeah you just don't know oh you know oh you don't know trolls then yeah so then trolls are more likely trolls because they gotten beat up right but not for the consequences of their actions on the internet everyone gets beat up for the so back in the day back in the day you could challenge people to duels like and then we had to develop ways of to talk to each other

because you know duels were happening so we didn't bring that back because that's how politeness was born that's how the discourse the good discourse was born you had everyone was talking about old ability was born out of violence civility was 100% born out of violence so you're saying that because we used to have duels people would watch their mouths and then that led to manners Exactly bro like think about Think about like

I had an ancestor who got shot Because he got into an argument with the guy Over some local town hall shit And back then they were supposed to be like the most proper people ever And we look back in them oh they were really proper ass dudes Like you know Prem and proper whatever Yeah no they were shooting each other

Okay So this is like a so this is like a an anarcho wow wow west digital space is the internet is the internet better yeah is the internet better than that what i said like so my my call was libertarians worldview is that like they're they're basically saying whoever has the biggest army if you brought down their viewpoints whoever has the biggest army wins right so we need some place to adjudicate so there has to be like an authority figure so like if you're saying It's just, hey, like, whoever got the biggest dick, that's anarchy.

Well, it also had no consequences because you said you would just go right back to trolling after you were covered from your beating. Well, if I got, I'd then just go to troll people who couldn't beat me out. But what if you, what if you had to put your all-time record in? And there's a civility in your eyes? I mean, the reason why January 6th, like, they're basically trolls in real life. It teaches you to punch down. They went to knock on the door. the Capitol and be like that that was basically a troll it was knocking and now they're coming back

and classic troll they're not going to do it they're not going to do it was it though was it a troll though was it a troll i mean think about it you just don't get it it was classic trolling no but like about it think about like the monopolization of violence mike pince got he got poned yeah anyway okay um number seven oh by the way don't trump canceled his speech. I saw that. I was like, okay. That means there's some kind of like humility in that man.

I respect it. Or he thought he had a target on him. Yeah, that could be true. I also saw that maybe he was upset because the news wasn't going to cover it. He wasn't going to have that much live news as it at it. So he just postponed the speech until later. That could be it.

I try to see the best in it. You're right. The right to not be docks because everyone is doxed at the start. Basically, I was, I think I looked at this the wrong way. No, no, stop. Don't talk down on yourself. I'm not, but what I was trying to craft, what I was trying to craft is an internet that

would work. And basically, at the start of it, in order to access the internet, you have to have an identity and a specific, so everyone knows who you are. So everyone knows, like, so you can't have random people talking behind, you know, faceless. accounts causing misinformation. So if you were to start, it sounds like everybody gets on social media and you

verify who you are via biometrics. Exactly. And so there's only one of you. So it's like there's only one Billy football. And you have unlimited free speech as long as it's tied directly to your name. Exactly. What if you decide to upload detailed instructions for making a massive truck bomb onto the internet

and you give directions to Big T's house because you're pissed off and you want to see him blown up. Big T, would you support Billy's right to post those things online as free speech? Well, that doesn't fall under free speech. That's putting someone in imminent danger.

Well, now you're censoring him. No. Well, you're already censored under the law. Well, so wait, now I'm confused. I'm not the one that came up with this. Why would you want to bomb Big T's house? I'm saying you want to. Oh, he absolutely does.

But P. No, I'm saying Billy wants to. So then that. That is when Big T could then either himself, either himself, yes. Yeah, we could duel. Wee hawking, doll. Yes. Yes, that is exactly what happens.

Philly's internet sounds awesome. Yes. Then you challenge him to a duel. And it doesn't have to be him. He can have a champion for him. Hold on. Real quick. Yeah, Big T would nominate.

You got guns for hire. You got guns for hire. My question, Billy, like, so far you've, you've invented Facebook. Like, you've focused on the trolls. You've, you've really only thought of Twitter when it's come to these rules. Like, people do not have civility on Facebook. They have their names, pictures of their children. But I understand you've come up with a fake Facebook account, but most of the people who are objectively horrible people have their names and faces attached to what they're saying on Facebook.

But I'd actually say there is a kind of sort of huge. there isn't as much blatant like on Facebook because they are connected to their accounts you might see blatant like i think you don't spend a lot of time on face i don't think you're on facebook like adult facebook right there's they're mean to each other but they're mean to each other like people at like you know like as opposed to child facebook are they're too am i fucking up is there more than one facebook he's just saying there's older people on facebook than like Twitter and Instagram. Like, for example, the people like Facebook, I would say have a discourse that's more like road rage when it gets bad. You know what I'm saying? Facebook has the most users in

the world, doesn't it? Yeah. The biggest country on the planet. Okay, let's talk about, but like American Facebook because other countries use Facebook way more than they would Twitter or like, for example, like they Americans use Facebook more than they use Twitter. Yeah, I think, I think Facebook is the highest users. It's China, India, Facebook. Those are our three biggest countries on the planet, I believe, unless it surpassed India, which it may have. All right. Does anyone have any better ideas? Have we even gotten through all 10? No, we're not. Again, let's finish a 10. It's three of them are all kind of the same thing. You really want people's identity out there, which I don't disagree with. I just think put it all on the table. I think I agree. I think most

of Billy's things were just written to encourage folks to fight. No. Also, some of these I do think there's something to that, though. I think that being behind screens, if you don't have the threat of some sort of violent interaction with somebody, kind of manners go out the window. But what comes with everyone's identities out there is also to make sure that children don't access bad parts of the internet through the right to curated entertainment education for individuals under 18.

So now you want fingerprints to go watch porn? Like, what are we talking about? Yeah, I think it would be better if children, didn't watch porn, Big T. I don't agree with that. I don't know if that's right. You think, what? Well, not children, but well, I define children.

Like, when you start, would you start? Nah, they should be able to, you take it. So like a 60-year-old shouldn't be able to beat off to some porn? Well, we, we. I disagree. A 60, a horny 16-year-old is the best hacker in, in the modern era. So if you're 16 and you're horny, you're going to find porn. you can try to hide it

and I feel like as a 16 year old it'd be healthier if just porn was healthier you should be excessive okay so we'll have healthy porn for the intermediate yeah there you go but like sprout porn but like 18 is the cutoff

for like all the bad shit so when I was a kid there was Cinemax there was HBO at night there were things like that that were you know definitively softcore so I mean no penetration you I mean technology was your ease into that world because it didn't advance yet there's like 12 year olds

who could see some really fucked up shit i do think that at 10 11 12 years old we was robbing stores for the poor mags yeah thousand percent well also i just like i think that a lot of kids who were subjected to two girls one cup didn't grow up with the right mental stability when they were that went around in middle school that's that's conjecture but so the issue of this is or the concern I have with this is, or the question, fuck that. The question I have about this is who is regulating the, because if you don't want people doxed, right, then. No, everyone's doxed. Everyone is doxed, but you don't want people doxed.

That is a conflicting idea in itself. But then who's, let's say we get over that hump, who's regulating what happens if you dock somebody or not docks somebody? Well, no, since everyone's docs, it's sort of like a crime can't be committed. If it's your pre-docs, so to sign up for Billy's internet, you docks yourself. Just like back in the day, everyone's address was in a book, even before phone books that you could see. So like, if you wanted to go to someone's house, like you could find them and they could find you. It's almost this like violence brings civility. Like if you go and do something bad to someone else, they know where you live and they can go find you.

mutually assured destruction in all aspects of life. I think I don't think violence brings civility. The threat of violence can bring civility. Mutual assured destruction. Blood feuds made civility. Yeah. Speak softly, but carry a big stick. And then number 10 is whoever has this, whoever has the stick is the one that is, is, is overseeing

the. Well, everyone's, everyone's got sticks. Nobody has sticks. Okay. So, but who, who is the boss, though? who's in charge of when you're talking about like let's just get to the last one you haven't done eight or nine uh okay so this is i i'm not i read all of them but here's number 10 the right to not be banned unless 90% of the internet votes them off the internet 90% not even a majority like a

super majority yeah super majority who would get banned off the internet who's durnerville he's the only person i can think of that would be banned under the 90% threshold i'm trying to think who Well, it's like, there's no one else we all universally agree sucks. Keith Olberman's getting there. Yeah, Keith Oberman problem. He's getting that. And, you know, he tries to conflict the rule because he posts all those dog photos because he tries to get like the dog lovers.

Oh, I muted that. I couldn't take it. I couldn't take him putting all those dogs. You follow him? I used to. Oh, you're a cock. No, I, I, I muted him because I couldn't, I could not tolerate him putting all these sick dogs on my timeline.

Well, that's how he tries to win back some of his following. But the vile, disgusting shit he says about half the country, you were cool. This was like seven years ago. And his brain got broken in 16. Yeah. He used to not be this bad. He was, he wasn't great. And I'm not saying I followed him because I loved all of his takes.

But he was this? Keith Oberman. He used to be on SportsC. And then he got on MSNBC during the Bush years. And he was like the anti-Bush guy. And then he got on the internet. And then his brain got broken in 2016. I love that.

He's mentally ill. He doesn't have kids. He just a fact. That's... He's old, doesn't have kids. Are you implying that he's lonely? He also used to date his production. I've seen him before.

Just a fact. He used to date very young women. I know that for a fact. A lot of people don't talk about that one. Yeah, I feel like a lot of people who are just as guilty as, like, of Trump stuff. Once they realize that Trump stuff's like, oh my God, like, we're all against Trump stuff. That's when their brain broke. Mm-hmm.

Keith Orberman used to date people that he had power over in his workplace who were young women. That's all I'm going to say. You can go probably do the math on your own, figure out. He's got some skeletons too, Keith. That's tough. I just low-key cook Keith Oberman. He would have the right to challenge you to a duel. Good.

Sir. Sir. Pistols, sir. And what? Right now challenge PFT to a fight like that. Yeah. I mean, we kind of, Barstool does provide a lot of avenues for the internet, like to settle beefs. Mm-hmm.

Rough and Rowdy. Rough and rowdy is a where internet beefs are settled, to be honest. I mean, we, the problem with like the whole dual thing is like we've seen on Christmas, people challenged to fist a cuffs over the late Kobe Bryant and Temecula. And one of the parties just simply did not show up. uh so how do we how do we figure that out billy are you like ripped out of your home well remember everyone's doxed so we know where they live yep this is this is that that's a horrible that's a horrible that's a horrible idea billy is just describing okay you know Billy Billy invented Facebook and phone books and the government okay you know what and just being the

government uh yeah yeah how do we stop okay What stops a predator from, like, stocking a female? We're focusing on the bad stuff. Let's go to the good stuff. You're being a hater. So the right to the protection from passive data harvesting. That's good. Unless they ask you stuff, like directly to collect data, they can't take your data passively.

Okay. Now, Bill, that's a law. That's a good one. That's a law we have. Well, not. No, it isn't. Yes, it is. Data is getting collected on you that you have no idea about.

This might be, but literally just passed. pass you have to ask people if you can collect their days in terms of service passively there's another question on top of that now it's not it used to be hidden in the terms of services there's a separate question now right but every app you have if you click on it it will ask you yeah i've got a controversial take too i'm kind of coming around on getting my data harvested from me yeah hang in there the ads that they show up at your door the ads that they push me on Instagram are perfect. Thank you.

He's exactly, they've got him. They've got him exactly where they want to. Look, look. I don't necessarily disagree with that though. Because I, because I liked a post from Antonio Brown, it's just the first one that I have right here, it says you might like this post. It's just a husky in bed cuddling with a toddler. Dog refuses to leave the bed and then proceeds to fall asleep while looking after the

little one. And it's the cutest video. Like, thank you, Instagram for Harvard. I would not have seen this if I didn't like a video of Antonio Brown going Gremlin mode. I don't know. I don't necessarily disagree with that. I just think that they should allow you to see your digital footprint.

Show me my data. Let me see my patterns as well. Because that could be a healthy thing. Because I think it's a good thing in a sense, but it can get bad when the reason. The reason why I really feel like it's bad is because these big corporations are harvesting data and using that data to further lessen small businesses' impact.

They have all this data on that. And information is king. But that's a good thing for me. Like, I don't mind it, honestly. Keep stealing my shit. You're doing a great job, Internet. All right, Billy. Well, I appreciate the,

I appreciate the billy of rights We'll probably have to continue to discuss this Someone else bring a bill of rights And see if it doesn't get cooked This is your assignment, Billy I thought you did overall not a bad job Clap it up for Billy. Clap it up for Billy did a good job

Thanks I'm I give this list in A plus Thanks A plus that's from your boss That's a little bar there There This I should have just made

Bill of Rights It should have just been rules to the internet I should have just done that I like the billy of rights though Which means rules of the internet So Yeah but like

Because of the plan words Bill of Rights Is supposed to protect you From the government Uh huh This list I mean when we're on the internet We should have made a list

To protect us from big tech Because that's a better That would have been a better Signment Which one of these would you consider Like your like second amendment Um Equal

The whole thing Billy wants to live in like an internet version of Kennesaw, Georgia, where every household's required to own a gun. That's Billy's version of the internet. If you want to log on, you got to have a weapon. Yeah, I like it. You got to be ready to defend your honor at all times. Did you watch Ready Player 1? Not yet.

I'm pretty busy. Watch it, bro. All right. I don't doubt that. We got to get going because this room is about to be used. But thank you for listening to Nanodosing. Thank you, Billy for putting together the Billy of Roy. rights, I thought it was, I wouldn't say it's an A plus. I think it's like, okay, it needs to be

workshopped. I thought we were going to workshop it together, but no, we're just going to tear it up. It's B minus. That's how we workshop here, baby. Yeah. I mean, grow up here, really. All right, see you guys on Tuesday. Love you guys.