Macrodosing: Arian Foster and PFT Commenter - NANODOSE: The Hardest Sport To Play

Episode Date: April 14, 2022

On today's episode of Nanodosing, we talk about difficulty of sports, Big T and Billy get into a fight, and plenty more. Make sure to tune into Macrodosing, every Tuesday at 7am EST.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/macrodosing

Hey, macrodosing listeners. You can find us every Tuesday and Thursday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Dude, literally, that guy is a real life, like, straight-up super villain. Yeah. The shooter? The guy that put bombs on a train and then tried to shoot dozens of innocent people, yeah. Yeah, but, like, he, like, put on a whole outfit, like, straight-up supervillain.

Like, we're living in Gotham City. we need a hero and it's Billy's Batman is what he's trying that's exactly what Billy's doing he's talking himself into being the Batman I know I know that look it's like crime is running amok we need one man who's not afraid to stand up

for what's right didn't he also wasn't there like oxygen tanks that he like lit on fire or something he had some sort of smoke device some sort of incendiary device. Billy has like Batman's chin. He could totally be Batman.

No, he has like Mr. Incredible's. Billy Wayne. Yeah, bro. I mean, I'm just, I'm like literally a hundred thousand dollars worth of equipment away from becoming Batman. Batman had like millions and millions,

probably hundreds of millions of dollars worth of dollars. No, I'm saying literally, I think if you gave me $100,000, I could like outfit myself. No, he's that good. He can do it for less money.

He's like a Curtis Lewa Batman. hybrid I'm a budget I'm a budget Batman you're bat bro I would be bad lad you see yeah you see the get the bad guys out on the corner about to rob an old lane you're like why don't we just why don't we just chug some brews mountain's blue that's actually not a bad way to dissuade people from from doing crimes it's just like get them drunk and have them do crimes to each other. Yeah, Billy, I think that you would make an entertaining bat. You'd be like the Batman that start at the Dark Night where Batman sees the fake

copycat Batman and then he has to kick their ass. So you might be useful for like for sussing out the real superheroes if they see you running around the streets trying to take care of everything. Then they'll think to themselves, okay, we have to come out here and actually do something about this. Well, why do we have super villains and we live in a world where there's only super villains and no superheroes?

Do we? I mean, you can, I don't even know how to respond to that. I'll be honest with us. We're given, we're giving a guy who no one died, right? No one died. I can't call him a supervillain. I can call him Russell Westbrook. That's the best I can do.

You went 0 for 10. But supervillans super villains don't really kill people in the cartoons but they do like by the way I'm getting on on my computer there's a I understand what Billy's saying

because when you think of cartoon villains they're usually the guys that just like tie chicks to a railroad track and then they get foiled they actually never accomplish what they're trying to do but a super villain I think I think supervillains oh Jesus Billy

Supervillains are no what's happening here but just don't worry about it that's the background that Billy used and the part of my take that we recorded right after the Oscars where he was the Oscars

but yeah I was Oscar supervillains actually do kill people I think definitely just not cartoon villains a little different all right

so welcome back to nanodosing Is Eric going to join us? Okay, cool. Real quick, just want to get this off the top of my head because it's something I've been paying a lot of attention to the last 12 hours, 16 hours. Dan Snyder is going to go to jail. I've moved on from even thinking that he's not going to be an owner. Yeah, they're going to kick him out of the league.

He's going to have to sell the team. Furthermore, he's going to die in prison. Yeah. He's going to stand trial. He's going to be convicted of fraud. he's going to go to jail and then he's going to die while he's incarcerated in prison

him and Elizabeth Holmes are going to be in jail together Oh that would be one Oh my God I don't wish ill on anybody And in fact maybe You know one day I'll probably forgive Dan Snyder

For what he's done to me And what he's done to My entire region of the country That I hail from But today is not that day So when he does go to prison I'm going to be very happy And then like once he gets sick

in jail, I'll be like, you know what? I forgive you. We can all make peace and move on. I hope you're okay. And then he's going to die with my forgiveness. So pretty good day. Pretty good day to be me. I'm pumped, man. I'm pumped. People are saying it's not going to happen. I think you can't fuck

with the owner's money. You just can't do it. Madeline or Billy, one of y'all needs to do the TikTok with him except my enemy, Gwyneth Paltrow, but it's Dan Snyder. That's true. I'll do that after we record. What's that? It's the TikTok trend where it's like, I never wish

or it's like basically like I never wish anything bad upon my worst enemy unless of course we're talking about Gwyneth Paltrow and for you Gwyneth Paltrow would be Dan Snyder Yep it'll be a good TikTok it'll do numbers okay he's my mortal enemy that's for sure Coley

Celtics congratulations you get the Nets I'm sure that's the team that you wanted right you match up well against them we do I wish Robert Williams was healthy but they barely won that game against the Cavs last night. So I don't know, the Nets, like, I'm already in my mind and assumed to be in public pushing the hardest run to the finals ever narrative for these Celtics, which isn't completely untrue. The Nets are a flawed team. I was a big fan of the Hardin Trade when it happened because it weakened my two biggest enemies.

so yeah like kairi can play now i've been more worried i think i actually think that kairi being away from the team for this long it has been good in this circumstance for the nets because kairi is a guy that's awesome and small doses one of the best players in the world i'd say like top five is that fair to say no no you think you know the top five players yeah i think that's actually pretty insane I think that when he's dialed in, yes, he is. I think that Kyrie's fucking amazing. And you're, if we're making everyone dialed in, still no.

Okay. Well, 15 maybe. Let me ask you this. Oh, 15 maybe? It's not top 10. Yes, he is. He absolutely is. Would you say, would you say that the Nets have the two best players in the series?

No. They have the best player in the series, but not. the best, too. They don't have Grant Williams. That's also true. They have the second best. They have the series. So, Tatum's better than Kyrie right now. I do think that Kyrie is awesome and small doses.

So the fact that he's been away from his team for so long is actually good because everybody's psyched to have him around. He's being a good teammate. I think that that actually benefits the Nets. Right now, Bruce, I mean, they wouldn't have to have been in the play in if he was a better teammate, but that's a different

conversation, you could argue. Bruce Brown is the one who is going to lose them this series if he keeps talking out loud. Last night saying, like, they're just going to drive to the rim at will. It was an insane, like Kevin Durant had to give him a stern fatherly talking to, which is not what you want to see moments after you win a game to clinch a playoff spot. Speaking of talking out loud, did you see what Kevin O'Connor said about Kyrie? No. They were talking on the Bill Simmons pocket.

because I didn't actually know that Kyrie was a Muslim and that he was fasting and all that. I had no idea. But they were talking about fasting and how I think the first game of the series is at 3.30. And Kevin O'Connor goes, fasting's not difficult. And I was like, in that circumstance, it might be a little tough. Oh, I mean, yeah, that's some wild takes on that podcast. We just, we talked about fasting on, on Monday's episode, right? I feel like so the Ramadan fast is sun up to sundown correct I believe so yes all right so at

3 o'clock in the afternoon you've probably been a lot of sun a lot of sun so that's about what seven hours no food and then yeah probably you eat first thing in the morning I would imagine but you can't drink either right you can drink water right I don't think so there was someone a few years ago who wasn't drinking. I can't remember who it was. I think it's supposed to be literally nothing. There was a soccer player. There was a soccer player the other day.

NBA might have been our close personal friend, Nina's freedom now that I'm thinking about it. Well, there was a soccer player the other day who they stopped the game as soon as the sun went down and let him go get water. Oh, yeah. I saw that. Yeah, I think it's supposed to be nothing. That is difficult to do.

That would be very difficult to do. I will be I will go against what Kevin O'Connor says noted uh Islamic expert Kevin O'Connor and I'm going to say he'd actually be the perfect he's like that's the most Celtic name possible yeah it's Kevin O'Connor but you're feeling confident I think that the nuts are going to want them I said it out part of my take I think it's about to be a wampen I mean you don't know who the top 10 players the league are so why should I respect your opinion well you can't say that definitively. Like, Kyrie is not a top 10 player when he's playing.

Were there 10 active players to make the all 75 team? Because Kyrie wasn't one of them. I don't know. I don't know if there were 10 players off the top of that. That would be the closest we could get to technically definitively. So it was. But also they have all NBA and he certainly won't make any of those 15. So at best he'd be 60.

Yeah, because he was out all year. What's the best ability, P.T? Yeah. Well, he's available right now. that's what I'm saying. Okay. And that's good for the nets because the fact that he hasn't been around all year, everyone's like, awesome. We love Kyrie. He's so refreshing to have around. He's our brother. We're going to play really well. And the cohesion and the chemistry is good. Now, if he had been around all season, I'm sure that that would be probably, it wouldn't be the same

situation. Kyrie gets on people's nerves a lot. Like, there's only so much sage that you can burn. And I think that the rest of the team would, like, you reach your wits in with the guy like that so um i think he did offend the dead last night too which is not a great look what do you say about the dead so bruce uh aforementioned bruce brown was wearing a shirt that said boston on it and when kairie came out he gave him this like why you wearing that fucking shirt look and it was a terence clark uh rest in peace terence clark and like everyone in the NBA loves terence clark Like, Kyrie definitely should have known what kind of shirt it was. And so Bruce Brown was like, it's for T. Clark.

Cairo was like, fuck, I shouldn't have said that. I think that the way that the Nets can really set the tone, game one, go out there. Take your shoes off, Kyrie. Go barefoot and stomp the fuck out of Lucky. Step right on Lucky, the leprechaun. Just grind your heel into that little leprechaun's nose. Do a little dance on. Do a TikTok dance like Ju-Jew Smith-Schuster.

just like grind on it I would respect it so much in the wise words of Michael Jordan takes a big man to talk shit when you're behind or even when the series is over that was my only qualm with it last year I didn't really give a fuck

that he stepped on lucky the fact that he did it like he made sure all the Celtics were in the locker room and then like hey let's get all the refs off the court and then do it when the series is already over that was weak don't talk shit after the game but PFT I need your expert advice

I'm going to send a graphic into the group I don't think we can sell this shirt for some pretty obvious reasons but it's very funny and I actually think we would sell potentially trillions of these shirts given the series

tell me why we can't you know why we can't Big T I'd buy one I mean I'm not I don't like the Celtics at all I'd buy one I mean that's why that's why we can't sell it right there Exactly.

Because, like, this is a great shirt if you don't, if you don't like attach it to any modern sense of the political spectrum that we're in. Big T just only attached it. I wouldn't even put the employee discount code on the website. I would pay full price. He's like, I love the Gadsden flag, but I wish it was just a little bit more Irish. I wish it was whiter. So, this is a great, I'm going to describe the shirt. It's the don't tread on me shirt.

or don't try to be flag with the snake that's all coiled up and the snake is wearing Lucky the Lepricon's little bowler hat It's very cute He's got a pipe in his mouth Sham rocks on his body

And then he's got a basketball That he's spinning On the rattle At the end of his little tail And then he's on top of the The parquet The parquet floor I think we should sell the shirt

It's a good shirt Yeah why we just talked about Why we can't Why you can't why you won't, Coley? I don't like, I know it's a joke. PFT knows it's a joke.

Outside of our bubble, people will not think it's a joke. If it were a different fan base, perhaps, we could sell this shirt. But the people who don't think it's a joke aren't like they already don't like Barstools.

So like, who cares? I'm not worried about that. It's more like this is a think piece territory shirt. And I don't, I'm just trying to sell shirts. Did you come up with that? I tweeted it last night.

Like, I think I'm going to have, I think I'm going to make Lucky Don't Tread on me shirts. And then I texted Trigg. And this was the way around the C and D that would come with putting like the actual Celtics mascot on a t-shirt. It is think piece adjacent. And I mean, if people, there are a lot of people I think that would buy the shirt that are just like, yeah, I love Lucky, the leprechaun. This is cool. This is about my team. big t just to find exactly what we don't want to have happen is just right it's like if if i was

selling a joe flaco elite shirt and the style of the obama the hope poster like people buying and be like i like this because it reminds me of obama you know like i i don't know if that audience would have existed no this one's uh i mean it's it's funny like the the pipe instead of his tongue out It's very funny. I like it. And I will say, Big T, Kyrie does any more little shenanigans. It's sure it's going directly on sale.

Okay. Okay. That's good to know. So you just have a breaking point. For sure. Yeah. I mean, well, the thing, like, it being a year ago, it's hard for me to be like, oh, yeah, it's a callback.

If something else happens, then it's like, all right, now there's a fever pitch. Now I can actually like, that's when the capitalism comes into play and takes over. That's fair. Also, while we're having this conversation. What's wrong with the guys in flag? Co-o- it's been co-opted you could say I don't even know if that's actually correct given I don't know when you could argue it was co-opped no it's it's been co-opted I think in the last like 10 years or so um it's so it started I think it was one of the first um one of the first

marine flags I could be wrong about that or one of the first uh American military flags and for a long time that's what it was and then I think it started like the tea party started to use the Gadsden flag and it was uh it was in that whole movement back in like 2008 2012-2009 yeah maybe a little bit later than yeah and then recently it's just become like a far right thing to have which I think is stupid because it's an awesome flag I like the great flag I like the flag I think the snake looks kind of like a bit sometimes you know what flag I love you what flag I love and I actually own and has unfortunately been co-opted the Hindu symbol for piece? No, asshole. No, I got a whiskey rebellion flag in college because I was like, yo, whiskey,

this flag's like connected to boozing. And now it's a insurrection flag. And it's a good, it's a cool flag too. It's like a giant eagle. And I still have it up in my apartment. And I don't know what to do. I think that that's obscure enough that, like, there aren't going to be a bunch of people walking around and be like, hey, say, isn't that the Whiskey Rebellion flag? Dude, the Whiskey Rebellion was pretty lit. It was just a bunch of dudes who wanted to make whiskey and not have it taxed. And George Washington then rode up on a horse straight up with his army and said, nah, bro, we're taxing your whiskey. I just wanted to interject real quick. While we've been having this conversation, Billy is on Twitter.

Like literally right now, liking. tweets about how he beat my ass. He was just too nice to tell me. And also to that same point, Big T is currently on Twitter right now cruising through his mentions tabs and no, I have a notification's muted. If you tweet me, you're just tweeting to avoid. Wait, you've muted everybody. No, no, no, no. Notifications. So I only get notifications from people that I follow. So if you're a stranger loser and you tweet me, I don't see it. So yeah, you don't see tweets. So yeah, you don't see tweets. from anybody well i see like y'all like if i get a notification from you guys i see it so that's why i saw billy's why did you see that because i'm mentioned in it you dumb ass oh well that's funny

i mean currently at a professional boxing camp and been training with the guy for two days so i mean you know it's not a bad like here's the tweet that billy liked billy wanted to call him soft and say he'd beat his ass but didn't have the heart to tell the man rough and rowdy the heart or the or the balls the heart no i'm not questioning what was written i believe no it was absolutely hard i would never i would never give billy the opportunity to make money off of fighting me if he wants to fight me he has to just fight me no but i don't want to fight you big t because it's not worth it and then you say you were going to have sex with my dead body after killing me like it was so ridiculous that i didn't want to take it seriously i thought it was strong i thought the big t came he acquitted himself well

but yeah seeing uh big t because obviously when when through uh zoom when he's sitting in his chair i'd never get to see his beautiful face but watching how like calm and calculated he was with his word choice made me believe in him even more yeah this is just a pipe dream for all of you to fantasize about how how quickly do you think the fight would end billy um no i i i've learned my lesson that to make good fights you shouldn't go at them too fast like the crowd needs a little more slow roll can't just go out there guns blazing when you know this is what uh this is what buddy and game of thrones thought when he was tab dancing around the mountain this is this does not end well for you young bill no um big t brought it up i don't really care about talking about it all right so bill

what do you want to talk about um well i'm just chilling uh what's you guys been up to lately i saw uh i don't even know how popular this conspiracy is but i figured this would be a good place to talk about it i was on uh the old instagram explorer page yesterday and there was a billionaire I can't remember which, but they've never lied to me. And he was an anti-Bitcoin billionaire. And he was saying he knew who invented Bitcoin. Would you guys like to take a guess at who he thought invented Bitcoin? Oh, I think I've seen this video.

It's like in a classroom or something. Who invented Bitcoin? Maybe like actually Bitcoin or decentralized cryptocurrency? Bitcoin specifically. Um, and this guy's been, uh, big in the news lately. Oh, I saw it on. No. No, it wasn't the Fed.

The Fed invented it to take all your savings. No. Big in the news. Britney Spears. She's not, close. Uh, Vlad Putin. Oh. Oh, yeah.

Saying that it was, uh, another Russian attack, uh, on not only American culture, but to decentralized to take out our traditional money so that he could control all of it. And I've got to be honest, I don't really hate that take. Yeah, no, that's a valid take. Other people think China may have done it. I mean, much of the U.S.'s power depends on the strength of the dollar and how it's used basically throughout the globe. Right.

And if our own people are being like, we don't fuck with the dollar anymore after the dissension that's already been caused by who. whomever you think it's been caused by. It has been caused. I don't hate it. I don't hate it one bit as a take. There was a story that came out. This is like 2010.

It was reported, it had like reputable sources and like high level contacts in both the Russian and the Chinese government as well as I think the guy that was actually running the Federal Reserve in D.C. But in 2008, when we hit our like big. financial recession, Russia tried to convince China to basically cash in all the debt that they held at the time. And if that had happened, it would have completely nuked our economy. So Russia was actively trying to convince China to destroy the United States financially, like literally destroy it. And China decided not to because, you know, obviously they have so

much money tied up that it would have been. Wouldn't that also destroy China? It would have significantly impacted China too, but it would have pretty much ended the United States as a financial power, like for the foreseeable future. It would have been devastated. Everything they make there that is shipped here and then we buy, like that would just be, the cost would be so that we'd no longer buy anything from China. Yeah. And like that would tank their economy. Right, right. So Russia was basically saying, hey, we're the ones that are going to grow in the future.

Cut off your nose to spite your face. Cut off your nose to spite your face. It'll be Russian China, thick as thieves. Yeah. Butch Cassie, the Sundance Kid, let's do this. And China was like, no, we enjoy growth. So they didn't do that, but that would have been nuts. Yeah, that would have been tough.

That would have been tough. And also, like, wouldn't we just go to war? I know we don't want to go to war with China, but it's not like we would be like, well, we don't get it. Like, we would act on that. Yeah. Well, they probably start seizing assets like they do. There's a foreign policy theory that China. uses debt recourse to claim serious assets in a lot of countries, like Africa, India,

in some Middle Eastern countries where they put countries in such big debt and then they're like pay up. And then when they can't, they just do stuff like take control of their ports, airports, and main infrastructure. You're talking about the mafia. This is the mafia. That's what they do. Right. But basically what happens is you have countries in Africa that are just totally dependent on China.

and China owns like almost like it's it's almost a new form of imperialism through dead but but then like it's this argument if this actually happens but because there's been a couple different instances and it's actually a huge issue moving forward but so billy do you want to tell the folks what you're doing at all are you are you allowed to i i think i am yeah i'm at i'm at uh bevel a Petrie B-Bowals camp. He's going to be fighting Canello on May 7th in Las Vegas, only on DeZone. It's really awesome. I'm hanging out with his whole crew, which is a really tight-knit, like, awesome group

of dudes yesterday. We had a barbecue. It was awesome. And I've been training. He, like, I'm sort of incorporated in the training is just, like, a body somewhat. Like, I've been working the pads with him. Um, sort of going through a group, uh, training sessions. It actually works out because a lot of his, uh, like guys in his camp who are Uzbeki, um,

they're out at a, I think in who's, oh, no, down in Texas, like supporting one of their fighters. So he actually doesn't have a lot of his sparring partners with him. So I've been just like working through with him like different like partner exercises, like, like, uh, grapple, not grappling, but like, um, clinching drills and it's actually like so cool to train with them just like boxers like besides like getting punched in the face i think fighters have an awesome life just when they're training because all they do is work out eat a shit ton and just like sleep and just turn their bodies into absolute weapons and it's it's sick have you talked to him about have you given him any like um spiritual or mental advice and told him about getting into war mode

Yes. He, you know, is he's like, he's such a cool dude. It's sort of there is a language barrier. So sometimes I go off on tangents and he doesn't really understand what exactly I'm talking about. Because I get, I start talking really fast and passionately about war mode and berserker. And he looks at me like I have five heads. Yeah, I mean, I speak English and sometimes I don't understand what you're talking about when you get into that. I know. How quickly into your conversation with him, did you bring up the fact that you beat up Jose Canseco? Well, he, it was sort of hard to explain to him that I had boxed before, but I'm a really terrible boxer. Okay. I'm undefeated. Yeah. Yeah. And he's like, I do not to understand.

But he, yeah, he got a kick out of what I showed him the video. What was the barbecue like? What kind of food? It was sick. He made steaks. It was like awesome. He's a big fan of skirt steaks. He thinks they're easier to make.

The video is going to be coming out close to the fight, but it's just been an awesome experience. And we're training in Indio, California. And it is beautiful out here. You know, when I went to L.A., I sort of hated L.A., but like this part of California is sick. are you going to be in his corner on fight night i hope i can i sort of stepped in last minute this whole thing so if i hopefully barstle lets me go to las vegas for the fight because i run to beat canello so badly like he's such an awesome guy he's just such a genuine guy

that'll be a good barometer of where we're at right now and in terms of our relationship with billy football and and what level of trust we have is billy going to be allowed to go to Las Vegas by himself on a work trip. Well, I'm going to go with a lot of people who are going to fight if I'm going. Yeah, but you'd be in his camp by yourself. There'd be a lot of, we'll see, we'll see. Well, I don't know if I'm going to be, I wouldn't want to be in, like, in his fight room because I, you know, I don't know, I just wouldn't want.

So you wanted to be in his corner? Well, I don't want to be, I want to go to the fight and, like, be there to see it. But I don't know. They just have such a good vibe. I wouldn't want to be like You want to fuck up the vibes Yeah I don't want to fuck them like it's fine for two days But like right before the fight like gets mad tense

So so Billy what you're saying is though is if you do go to this fight You're not going to have your danger On the day of the Kentucky Derby It was on May 7th Yeah isn't that when this fight is? No the fight's on May 7th Yeah the Derby too right I don't actually you guys try to frame it like I like

will like refuse to work on plans like fake like no no that's also in the derby that's not what i'm saying i'm saying i'm concerned that if you go to las vegas to do this work you're not going to have your day party that you're going to have for the kentucky derby i was a i i don't actually i canceled with riko earlier today because i told him that sorry i've got another appointment i'm going to go have a day party with billy danger dude i literally like now that i'm involved in this danger's off go to rikos were you supposed to have a kentucky derby danger yeah he was fuck everyone was invited i didn't hear about it to the party that's not existing yeah yeah thank you bill it was thank you bill whatever uh big t what's on your mind

uh nothing why because we're doing a podcast well yeah and so why it's it wanted to hear what you're thinking about. Oh, brother. What's up? What's new? I don't have anything new. I don't. Because of the family. Why are you asking? Why are you talking to me right now? What's the same quixion all about?

I don't have to tell you. I mean, I let my rights as an American. It's almost like you knocked on his door like 8 o'clock. The podcast generally doesn't go to, hey, big T, what's up? yeah well this is a nanodosing it's more it's freeform it's like jazz you're the bass player i got i'm not in that she's time for your solo well the big t's got a whole lot of nothing uh pft have you seen the uh the burns ben franklin documentary yet i have not but i i wish that i was a father so that i could sit down and watch that and take a nap i that sounds off the top

my head, Ken Burns, Ben Franklin documentary, that seems like a million times better than even a master's afternoon nap. I feel like Ken Burns is definitely going to get edgier on Ben Franklin. Like we're going to see prostitutes. We're going to see the real Ben. And like, it's going to be like, what was that movie about the rocks, the documentary on the rock stars? It's like, that was like so out there.

Spinal tab. Yeah. Like that'd be like to be spinal tap. Ben Franklin edition like the real Ben I would love to see that what have you seen about a cool is there like a commercial out for it no it's it's it's it's been uh I've watched both it's two-parter um and I put it on specifically because I am a dad and could not fall asleep the last two nights so I toss that on still couldn't sleep so I ended up watching all of it remembering all of it a different story because I also my phone out but uh yeah he's

it seemed like something that would be up your alley. Yeah, I'll definitely look at it. That sounds awesome. What about you, Avery? Mad Dogg? I feel good. The Rangers lost last night. I was there.

But playoffs are coming up. That's like my Mona Lisa hockey playoffs. So I'm really excited. I think the Rangers are a good team this year, and they could win it all. We'll see. Mad Dog. my roommate's been gone for a week so I've had to be alone in my apartment your mind goes like being alone in my small little apartment your mind just kind of like wanders have you already counted everything no I mean that I've already done that my leases almost up I've done that already but um like I just start talking to myself out loud yeah or just in your head both or I pretend I pretend I pretend that I pretend that I pretend that I pretend that I pretend that I I've started pretending I'm getting interviewed for a documentary.

Like about your day? Yeah, like a day in life of me. Hank does that too. Hank sometimes when he gets high, he imagines that Joe Rogan is interviewing him about what happened to him previously that day. I'm sober, which I think makes it worse. But I've just been like talking about, you know, by life.

Like I actually, PFT, I was watching the part of may take life episode last night. and I was like what would I say if they asked me advice like oh and then I was thinking about the advice I would give did you do a podcast by yourself yeah to nobody that's good though that's getting in the reps Matt Maddie you should start recording them and releasing them his little micro podcast little bits yeah Matt Madrodosing yeah that a little Bill Burr just ran himself on his body Yeah That he should take it on

I like that Whatever you just said Bill I know I I know what he was saying You cut in and out a little bit He's just saying that you should just like rant Into your phone and just record Just like into a voice memo Yeah just be Bill Burr

It's so easy Look if I could I would But yeah no I've just been I'm going home this weekend Okay nice Which is fun I get to have Keynes Hell yeah

Yeah Hell yeah So that's exciting. That's moving into Times Square. I'm very excited about that. Avery and I might, the podcast might actually end in a couple weeks because Avery and I. If the Rangers and Caps play, it's going to be, the playoffs, it's very contentious.

And it's like the Rangers are my life. Don't tell Coley. I hate hockey. He doesn't hate hockey, but I think his take on the fact that it wasn't a global sport. It was a little off. I got exactly three tweets about that, so it didn't really help your kid. There you go. No, but it's not a fully global sport, but it's more global than American football.

Like they play more in more places than American football. Played more, sure. Yeah, yeah. Even the amount of people watching it is still less. Right. Of course. I'm just, yeah, just to say it's not global. It is, it's very global.

It's played in a lot of places. The last I saw is that the, um, the caps are. three points back from the penguins right but they have two extra games than Pittsburgh does right so they just need to win like one of those extra games and then keep keep if the Rangers finish in second and the caps don't finish in the second wild card they will play each other and that would be interesting I'm kind of hoping for that I don't want to play against the Rangers because they're a very good team but I would like to go see some playoff games yeah go see playoff hockey Cole, you can agree that even though you don't, like, you disrespect hockey, the people that play it, the fans of the game, cold weather, you just don't like any of the above.

You can agree that playoff hockey is awesome, though, right? It's fine. It's respectable because I truly believe it is a top three hardest sport to play by far. Three out of four? Yes. That's not saying much. Well, no, I think boxing is the hardest. I think baseball.

Oh, if we're going like this, then it's. certainly not three. What? Boxing? Yes. You know how ridiculously hard it is to be a top level playing anything at a professional level is incredibly difficult. Right.

So now we're there. There's nothing that touches baseball. Baseball is number one far and away. I think golf's as tough as baseball, to be quite frank. Oh, golf the ball still. Sure. No, I get the differences. But the base paths are on hills.

Golf is certainly up there. Listen, the hardest thing to do in sports, of baseball. I agree. Yeah. But overall, I think boxing is the hardest. I think baseball is second. And then I think hockey, I mean, you have to do basically everything with your body and then do it on ice on thin blades. It's wasn't wilder just like, didn't he like deliver packages? And then someone was like you should try boxing when he was like 24 and then he got the heavyweight title. I didn't know that. I'm pretty sure that's what. And I'm trying. I do not. I want this very clear. I don't want any problems with boxers. My. Yeah.

my qualms would lie with calling it the most difficult of this. Like what makes it more difficult than UFC would be my question. I just think the conditioning and the training that they have to go through for one fight is it extremely, like, I mean, Bill, I'm sure Billy knows to a certain extent, like it's not, it's very difficult. To not only have the athleticism it takes to be a boxer, as well as the conditioning takes to be a boxer, and then on top that, have the skill of defense and, striking in footwork is it's like insane yeah i don't know i mean you could argue you you could argue basically anything collie we'll cut out the part where you call it old boxer's

pussies yeah i'll bleep that i promise um yeah no i mean i i i don't know and people are going to get mad at me about this too i grew up hockey was a rich kid sport like it's incredibly expensive to to get rink time it's incredibly expensive to get pads like the barrier for entry is very high i saw some one of the three people who tweeted me said it was huge in tampa bay uh like and then called that like enough evidence to say was big in the south that's not true um ken jack pulled up some very strange numbers that don't seem very sourced uh but so i can't even relay relay yeah when it comes to kin jacks i think that Kinjack has a different version of the internet than everybody else does.

He's got access to the weirdest shit that I've never seen before. I've never seen. He's never posted anything normal that comes from the internet that I see on a daily basis. It was like a standard list like one through 15, but there's there didn't appear to be any rhyme or reason as to why things were slotted in certain spots. Like there would be number seven would get more viewership than number five. And it was just like, why is that number seven then?

Yeah, I'm looking at this now. So it says it has sports listed, one through 12. It says average audience in the U.S., highest views in different years. So number one is American football, 112.3 million. Average audience in the U.S., that's not true. That's how many people watch the Super Bowl. So that's not the average audience. Then number two is basketball.

It says 17 million. Number three is baseball. It says 68. So I have no idea what this list is. Doesn't make any sense. Yeah. Number six is tennis at 700,000. Number seven is golf at 7.3 million.

So I have no idea what any of this list means. Right. I couldn't use that as a verifiable fact when he was chiming in on this. It's just random numbers. Yeah. I mean, the Slavic countries and America is Canada the only country where hockey is truly number one? Or is there somewhere Russia probably? Yeah, Russia, I would say.

Probably like Sweden and Finland. Yeah, there too. I'm trying to think soccer is big in a lot of those countries too, though. That's where, that's where it's like. Scandinavia is not that big on soccer. Of course they are. What was, but like besides, like, what was the last time of Scandinavian country like won a World Cup? Is the Netherlands, Scandinavia?

Yeah, Netherlands are very good at soccer. Netherlands are not Scandinavia. That's what, like, it's that. Billy also just said Germany. So if we're counting that whole. Denmark is as close as it gets. It's Denmark, Denmark, Stanley, Sweden, Norway.

The Dutch are more, I like, yeah, Germany. Yeah, the Dutch are their own. That's why when you said Germany, that's what problem is. Well, I said Germany in my head, I was like, Germany doesn't count, but I didn't express that in a full sentence because I trail off a lot. Sorry. Fair, you know what?

Fair. You know what Finland is really good at? I actually think the national sport of Finland is snipers. and saunas and sauna yeah the national sauna competition but snipers

I was reading about this one dude back in World War II because the the Russians invaded Finland for a little bit in World War II

for about like a year and a half this one dude this sniper in Finland he would get dressed up head to toe in all white

because that's what the army in Finland wears because it's obviously snowing Russia was wearing these like bright green uniforms walking around like a bunch of idiots this one dude the sniper he killed 5004 people he

sniped 5004 people in just over a year and craziest part this dude didn't use a scope yeah he no iron sight all iron sight he no scoped everybody he was also like 5 3 and just an absolute legend uh yeah finland don't fuck with finish snipers oh by the way i got i got to apologize to Finland because during Putin episode, I said that they low-key had a little more involvement in Leningrad than people think. And I'm like, why isn't anyone, you know, given Putin? So it turns out the Finnish only allied with the Nazis to take back the Russian, the territories that the Russian took from them. And they were only a little bit involved just to get their land back. So. Okay. So Billy apologizes to Finland. I think we've done, we've done a good job this episode of

shining a light on our finished listeners because like respect endless respect to your sniper battalions would never want to cross you guys honestly I this is this is controversial here we go but I don't know if putting up numbers against the Russians is comparable the Russians just it's there's more opportunities because they just send so many people like the live ball era attorneys to buy yeah they just throw they're just like they're just sending the whole kitchen sink every time. They still'm saying you could die more easily if there were more enemies. Right.

But like the enemy, I'm like, we're talking quantity versus quality here. You're saying that the Russian invasion was too large, which made it like a target rich environment. Yeah. And they were like sending people with no guns and stuff. So what is the, what's the perfect ratio of kills to invading soldiers? I'm just saying it may be like a bubble. a Mickey Mouse title.

No, I'm just kidding. That's an insane stat to have gotten that many shots. I'll tell you what's new with me. I saw my favorite video in the history of the internet last night. And I think my phone was listening to me, like talk about like how killing Billy. This is incredibly graphic and like terrible. So if you don't like that, skip ahead 30 seconds. It's a Ukrainian soldier who kills a Russian.

he takes the Russian's phone and FaceTime's his girlfriend and tells her all about how he just killed this dude and shows her his dead body and shit. It's the coolest thing I've ever seen. I love that guy. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's pretty badass. I saw it on TikTok too.

And then the girlfriend, like, obviously doesn't take that well. Yeah, she does not. She was very mad at him. There's classic women. It's an awesome video, though. So emotional. She wasn't sad as much as she was mad. She was like Ukrainian scum and shit.

Like she was down for the cause. Yeah. I mean, at that moment. Don't you have to be? I guess. It was on TikTok. I don't know if I can find it again.

How is that getting, how is that getting led on TikTok? You didn't like your favorite video ever? I don't like anything. Also, uh, breaking news they found and arrested Frank James, the guy shot.

Shut up. Where? He's using the subway. Good. I don't know where they found him, but it's got an update. I love that I love that very much shout out the NYPD

Yep who got him How did how do you get caught He went to the U-Haul I'm sure that they like Don't you think like if he rented a U-Haul They could Well he wasn't in it It was just parked

I like how Speaking of the NYPD They catch him a day later But if he had avoided his fare And just hop the turn saw They were caught him real quick Oh yeah I saw that No that's not true

Oh it's true No, I'm the only person that pays. The whole city. Big T, T, I literally pay every time. Thank you. I do pay every time. What are they going to?

What was the camera stat that they dropped about this? They've got a couple thousand throughout the city and those three were down. All the rest were fully functional. Yeah. That sounds right. Well, I mean, the thing is, you put a smoke bomb. So, like, that's like a super villain move. like smoke bomb then leave

take off your clothes and the smoke that's a that's a child magician move i don't know super villain i mean he's still on a guy in half coley super villain is we're like Putin own these are super villains

guy who uh terrorize he's a bad person i'm not defending this guy very bad person uh super villains is a bridge too far for me okay how about Gotham Gotham villain That would mean he's just like fake Lowly Gotham

He's the penguin Like yeah he's the penguin He's the gas man Smoke man I think that I think that video might have gotten deleted off TikTok Yeah I can't find it I was gonna say you can't smoke weed on TikTok

If you can put that on TikTok That's a I don't understand Yeah because I sent it to somebody but it's not in the messages anymore. Yeah, I can't use the word weed on my TikToks, but they can post that. It was a great video. Win one for the home team. Going back to that degree of difficulty sport rankings thing, I sent you guys the list.

They did like a panel of like, you know, Olympic committee and doctors and professors. And they ranked each category that you would need, like, you know, to be an athlete ranking from one to 10 in terms of like the demands at each category. So it was endurance, strength, power, speed, agility, flexibility, nerve, durability, hand-eye coordination, and analytic aptitude. And boxing was number one, rank difficulty, hockey, two, football three, basketball, four, wrestling five. The color scheme on this website is, is like, is this Bill Simmons, 1987? This is like a Bill Simmons 1994 article. This was the first thing posted on the internet. It might be, but it's, it's from, it's from credible sources.

I think it's from, I think it's from Bill Simmons's brain. We sell t-shirts that say ESPN lies as a company, Avery. I'm not joking. This list has, one, two, three, three, probably like 40 things on it. Baseball is not on the list. It is. Where? It's after gymnastics.

Oh, it's baseball. Okay, I see that. Okay, yeah, baseball is not less difficult than martial arts, wrestling, football. gymnastics let's give it a rest I think water polo is too low water polo is tied for 11th I think water polo should be top three the thing is shocked more people don't die they got speed skating crazy low on this

the speed skating was very difficult oh I the thing is the thing is with speed skating that's mostly the technique is not that hard to master bill you would stink at speed skating I look it's the technique right But, like, in its technique, then it's strength, power, and intangibles that are mostly untrainable.

Whereas something like baseball, it's a lot of skill, but it doesn't really require all those intangibles, like speed. Big up. Is this guy serious? Hall vaulting 16th. Like, what? I think we're all, like, like, baseball does not require, like, world class, strength, speed, endurance. athletics. It does require a lot of hand-eye coordination, but... Endurance? They play

162 games in like 175 days. Yeah, and they sit on the bench for what 65? This is Aaron Donald's all over again. You just described football. Baseball does not require endurance. Yes, terrible thing. This guy's crazy. Are you kidding me? I agree with

Billy. I think you, I think Coley and Big T are in cahoots on this. I agree with Billy too. We're being punked on this. Big fucking pop. can run 400 meters. He's much faster than you. You just described football. There's no way.

There's more standing around than any sport. There's no way that big poppy is faster than Billy. No way. Are we taking retired, because yeah, I would agree. Even when he was playing, he was so slow that his wife would let him put it up or butt

if he got to third base during a game. That's how slow he was. Yeah, bro. You're talking about triples? Yes. Yeah, that terrible take. This guy was what? He was hitting double.

off one of the shortest left field walls in the league. That's way more. Yeah, because the outfields don't know what the fuck they're doing with like a 70-foot giant piece of wood out behind. 38 foot. I think it's crazy to think that Billy could not beat David Ortiz in a foot race. Billy's not fast. At any, yes, I'd give Billy today.

Prime David Ortiz. No, he's getting smoked. Well, do we get Prime Billy too? That's also not what we're talking about. Right. It's also no what we're talking about. Yeah, we got to define his prime Billy. also prime David Ortiz might have been slower than like not prime David Ortiz.

Yeah, prime Dave or he may have been 18 skinny in the DR. No, I mean, David Ortiz was routinely in the top five and doubles in the league. Like he was one of the, like he's faster than he because he, because he, yeah, that was because he found the gap. They're also not like running every other play. They're also not like running every other play. It's not like a hockey player where they're like skating every other shift that's It's like what the endurance level. They skate for 30 seconds and then they're off for the next three shifts.

A hockey. A hockey blonde is nowhere near those conversations. You think you need more endurance to play baseball? No, I didn't say that. I didn't say that. But if you're talking about not doing every play, I'm just saying like in baseball. They play a quarter of the game. In baseball, you might not see a fly ball like if you're in the outfield for six

innings. Like you're just standing there. You think they're just like not doing anything the whole time? Like they're ready. They're getting ready. They're getting ready. It doesn't take a lot of endurance to get ready for a fly ball. You might not see one for nine innings.

Like, I'm just saying, like, the endurance difficulty, like, it's just not even close. I agree with Billy. Yeah, C.C. Sabathia had a goddamn keg, like, of a gut. So you've chosen two players. Yes, you've chosen two fat players, one of whom is one of the greatest hitters to ever live. The other who could throw the ball 96 miles an hour. There are far more elite world-class athletes playing baseball than there are those guys. And also, Cece wasn't an elite athlete, like, to go out and pitch with the endurance.

Endurance, if you want to talk endurance, I would not bring up pitchers. Yeah, that, Billy, that wasn't a good one. No, but I'm talking, like, real endurance. Like, when we're talking to people, oh, okay, so crazy. Dude, Big T, I hate the fucking way you talk about that shit. Like, it's ridiculous. Like, the fact that you think that, like, Big T, go fucking jog around the block. Because I think you have a bad opinion.

You probably play baseball, but you'd be fucking huffing and puffing around the block like what the fuck i'm i'm gonna kill this guy dude i act like like are you like the way you like don't fucking talk to me like that like it's fucking ridiculous you had a bad opinion coli said you had a bad opinion too i think we go no no coli's but coli's like knows he's wrong but what we're talking about we you still haven't even addressed me talking about football football is the most stand around sport that we know but football requires the intermediate like the the the The H-R-T, the what the fucks it called, the intermediate. Just say what, just say letters.

He's not going to check you. No, bro, the fucking, dude, football players, the, like, when you train for football, the endurance that it takes is that we're talking about training or we're talking about training or the sports? In baseball, the running is optional in training camp, basically. Putting together. Do you hit over 300? Okay, then just like jog, just touch that fence and come back.

And that's your conditioning for the day. That was Bo Jackson. whole career for both sports. Yeah. All right, we got to figure out a way to settle Billy and Big T before it does get out of hand and one of them ends up dead. Probably Billy. So we got to figure

out a way to squash this beef because I don't see it improving. Might have to do with DeCathlon. What would that prove? It would be fun for me to watch. That's fair. Can we do a combine? Yeah, I would really instigate things and that would be good for me.

This is your fault. PFT for talking about cannibalism like that I was going to like I've already talked about eating people this is all your fault it's his fault for you not being able to take someone saying you have a bad opinion no it's just the way you fucking talk to me is ridiculous also

Billy when we're on a road trip because I said you have an incredulous idea I say that about every police all said the same thing said that you wanted to fuck my dead body and kill me just told that 11 because PFT said that I thought like that was three days ago

yeah but you You know what? He's upset because it went so viral. It was embarrassing how viral. Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on. Avery's list has golf below canoeing and kayaking in terms of difficulty. Not now, Coley. We're talking about Big T fucking Billy's dead body.

And Billy, on the road trip, I said, you strike me as a guy that's always prepared in a situation where if it does resort to cannibalism, you know what the plan is. And you told me, yeah, definitely. So that's why I brought it up the other day. Now, as far as Big T saying that somebody has an incredulous idea, like, that's literally everybody. Big T walks around just swimming amongst people with ideas that are far more incredulous than his own. That's just kind of what he has to look down on the entire human race. He doesn't allow people to talk to him on Twitter.

Why would you? Kind of the point of the website. No, it's not. Anyways, sorry, my T's pretty high right now Nice, all-time apology Sorry, I'm just feeling too masculine We've been doing a lot of punching and getting punched over here A lot of running cardio Sorry guys, you know, my balls are just gigantic right now You know how that goes

Yeah, I mean, I've been hitting the bag Like, you know, just coming off a training session, you know it's uh anyway okay well we got a we got to get out of the room we've got uh i think ryan rsula is about to come on for pm t but we will see you guys next monday love you guys and billy big t we're gonna have to we're gonna have to figure out a way to be civilized to each other i'm going to turn this podcast right around love you guys You know what I'm going to be.