Macrodosing: Arian Foster and PFT Commenter - Phobias ft. Chris Long

Episode Date: March 29, 2022

On today's episode of Macrodosing, the crew is back to talk the slap heard around the world and of course the main topic: phobias. Chris Long joins the show (2:33:00) to tell everyone his phobias and also give a list of the best ways to die. All of this and more on the show.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/macrodosing

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your first purchase when you go to napjitsu.com slash macro. That's N-A-P-J-I-T-S-U.com slash macro. napchitsu.com slash macro 30% off your first purchase today. We got a lot to talk about this week. This is going to be an all-slap episode of macro dosing, at least for the first like, I don't know, hour, I would guess hour and a half. We need to break down to slap. The slap heard around the world, Will Smith slap the shit out of Chris Rock. It was open-handed.

It was not a punch. We need to clarify that. Chris Rock ate it like a champ. He didn't move his pivot foot. He did not get even knocked off balance. balanced by the slap. So a lot of people are claiming that it was either staged or fake or whatever. I think those people, Billy, are morons. I want to go around the room here and see what everybody's reaction to the slap was. What's your main takeaway from Will Smith slapping Osmosis Jones?

Coley, starting with you. I wish the internet ceased to exist. people shouldn't be allowed to talk out loud. I think like 5% of us deserve the right to vote. Just truly despicable how people can no longer enjoy something so objectively funny. If you've had a single serious thought about this, please never speak to me digitally or in person. We have nothing to talk about.

okay is there anyone in particular that you you would like to address this to it's it's too like you're asking me to talk to all the algae in the sea like this is too many so fucking idiot all right well yeah don't i don't want i don't think coley's trying to you're not trying to like police against people saying that was fake or whatever you're you're more concerned with people who are like i think that will smith should have been arrested last night there those people like the and like we've seen it too much other stuff like you're not allowed to enjoy a moment anymore yep like you just can't do it like it was very funny like the the people being like the l-a-pd has been made aware of the incident um between two individuals as if anyone like

like fucking someone else lies him and ellie was getting uh giving lady gaga the business backstage or something like i don't know what like it was just such an objectively funny thing to happen and then you just have people acting like will smith like shot him with a gun like he slapped him you got slapped that's it cool it's all that happened i love that twitter thread that you uh retweeted that was saying that it was a Scientology symbol for him to slap Chris Rock. It's like that's the people who take it that serious that like there's such on a different planet like I can at least laugh at that.

Yeah, I love those people. But the people who were like why like Donnie Donnie T. Jr. who was just like, oh, look at this privilege showing that you can just assault someone and not be arrested immediately. It's like, shut the fuck up. You coke addict. Like no one cares. no one cares I

there's this weird part of Twitter that I peer into where it's a lot of like It's called my timeline It's called I think yeah I think that's most parts of Twitter Well there's this one guy called The Stoic Emperor

And I just found this hilarious He's like Art, glamour and entertainment Are all much diminished in Hollywood The decaying cult of celebrity is what remains The public don't care What wins best picture They don't want to see it and won't

It now takes celebrity blood sport to cut through are you not entertained this guy anyone who has a twitter handle like the stoic philosopher or like uh what was that other guy like conceptual james or whatever it is like those guys like to believe that they live in ancient Greece and that they're like standing on a hill with the honeycomb in one hand and the olive branch and the other lecturing if those motherfuckers live back then they would be getting fucked left and right by the real philosophers yeah like actually Socrates would have conceptual James bent over his knee.

Yeah, but I feel like Socrates on Twitter, but like Socrates on Twitter, we'd say the same thing. No, I think I think Socrates on Twitter would be an all-time poster. You're sitting next to him, Billy. Yeah. Socrates. Yeah, no, I think Socrates would have a great Twitter presence. Aristotle as well.

Plato, I'm not so sure. They'd be shit posting such glorious posts. Like I would, they're, they're my. Mine's would be turn to mush. All right, here's a great take. Yeah. Is it Sam for hire? This is from somebody that Sam Sheehan NBA.

For hire, yes. Okay, so you know the guy? Sure do. Tell me a little bit of background about it before I get to this take. Well, he's a prominent NBA source. He is currently between jobs, but he is for hire. is he doing this as a bit of course he is I'm so ashamed

at so many of our co-chaps got chaps so hard and it's so embarrassing I gotta delete the tweet I just put out I just did it this second I don't follow him I thought it was but then so I thought it was a bit after I started reading the follow like his replies he said Muhammad Ada didn't win an Oscar after

how did you not know it was a bit I was like this guy's funny okay well then never mind let's just all pretend that I did not quote tweet that a second ago I just said anytime somebody uses a phrase not to, like, diminish 9-11, you should automatically put on your sunglasses on from the heat coming off the take. So, but no, I never posted that. So, Arian, talk to me about your reaction from the slap.

I don't keep it a buck, man. I don't have one, man. Obviously, Will's going through some personal stuff. And anytime somebody going through that publicly, I just tend to bow out. because like that shit is because I think it's just because I can relate I've been through some shit publicly to where I was like any and anybody who has ever said anything publicly I want to see one-on-one and so anytime somebody going through that type of shit I just be like mind of my business man I hope I hope they figured out Aryan just to you know just to bring up something from we were going off in the group chat last night but honestly there was a single point where Big T and Aryan were on the same side at one point did you think it was fake arian no no he i didn't understand what you just said i don't think you have maddie's number saved is what happened

what did you say but did you say you don't think you would uh risk his life or his career and likeness to slap chris rock yes as a bit he wouldn't do it as a bit oh okay my bad I took that as like, of course he wouldn't just do that and risk his career. It was obviously a bit. I don't think Will Smith in the moment knew he hit Chris Rock. I think he was hitting like three, four years worth of jokes that just happened to be Chris Rock. Like he, whoever was standing there was going to get hit. Didn't matter that it was Chris Rock.

That's what I'd be saying because like Will Smith, I don't know. I follow him on socials and like, Also, I was privy to a lot of, like, shit that he sent one of my good friends, like, while he was going through, like, counseling and, like, a lot of self-help shit. And so he's just one of the more inspiring human beings I've ever seen. Like, he really is emotionally had it together. And to see him like that, it's obvious, every man has a breaking point. And so it's like, it's obvious he's going through something.

And so, like, that's why, like, I rarely comment on, like, group funny shit like that when it's personal shit because people go through it. I know I know publicly like and I know it's a boring ass take, right? And everybody's like a whole layer than thou take. But it's I just, I just been through it. So like I know I know people who have been through it as well like publicly when the internet is getting their memes off like that shit, that shit stings. Like that shit stings, though.

And it's, I don't like to partake in it because it's shit hurt, dog. And I know people that know because it's like. I hear you. And I understand. it because sometimes we lose sight of the fact that they're real people that are going through the same things that we all go through, whether you're a person who's in college, somebody who's just in an entry-level job, someone that's about to retire, someone that's a movie star. We all kind of share the same complicated lives sometimes and have it play out on the big screen

is tough. But at the same time, it's like, Will Smith just slap Chris Rock at the Oscars before he won best actor? I think it's, if there's, I mean, that is the very definition. Like, we've always had water cooler talk and things. I'm not saying it's not funny. And there's, right? And the means, I'm just saying, I'm just saying I choose to bow out.

And I understand that. I get it. Well, my counterpoint to Aryan would be anyone that high up in Scientology is a piece of shit and I don't care. What? No. Scientology is such an evil and will say. Smith has such a hand in it. I cannot

Now, Will Smith is a Scientology. No, so Will Smith is not officially assigned. He's, they said he's distanced, but Will Smith has funded a school that teaches Scientology doctrine. To children? To children. I think Jada

is actually more involved in that. And yeah, so Wilson, yeah, I've been looking this up. I did my due diligence. What Billy's getting into right now, these are, I would say, these sources have been 70% fed. No, no, no. this is no that's a compliment yeah that was a compliment so i was up very late i you know i woke up this morning cursing will smith because i thought i was going to get to bed early last night i took

a melatonin and i was about to hop into bed then this all popped off and then i was on part of my take off of melatonin we could tell you know take like looking this stuff up like half asleep but i had to do it so you know i fought through this so if i got any of this wrong blame the melatonin okay so why will and jade are the worst new york post Well, I think that's a little bizarre parenting. Scientology Kids School. Yeah, so let me send you this article. So he is not currently a Scientologist, but he has funded a school. Hollywood's most dubiously endearing duo has been less forthcoming about their now shuttered, allegedly secret Scientology school in 2017 when former Scientologist Leigh Romini claimed that Pinkett Smith was a long time down low member. The couple denied any affiliations with the controversial religion. We've never been Scientologists. We've never been Scientologists. We've never been swingers, Smith said at the time. Now, however, Smith... That's a real...

I don't get into this swinging part. No, but I'm saying, like, that's a big time. My, my, I do not support human trafficking shirt has a lot of people ask these questions. Wait, let me... Already answered by my t-shirt. He's like, for the record, I don't own a Scientology school. And I know which I know the second part of this were not swingers. It's like, yeah.

I didn't want to even get into the swing parts. So it represents this, okay, I will. I look for the part about this school. it sounds like he had a past relationship with Scientology and then got into an entanglement with atheism yes um sorry I can't find the exact but there was a school I'm more comfortable just saying they're heavily linked to Scientology according to Billy's research

yes yeah so in then part of this was that the Twitter thread was saying that in Scientology embarrassment in front of a crowd is used as a higher like this is, I think this is a little out there but higher ranking members embarrass lower ranking members publicly through humiliation

in order to enforce their keep Scientology a live agenda and they alluded this to Tom Cruise's rant on the set of one of his movies where he went off on the whole crew as another example of this public embarrassment. I think that's a little like tinfoil hatty. I honestly think the thing's fake and I think I could, I have some evidence if you'd like to hear the case. Wait, you were just saying that the Tom Cruise thing was tinfoil

hatty, but you think that this entire slap was staged. No, no, I think the idea that Scientologists humiliate lower-ranking Scientologists in front of people to enforce their agenda is a little tinfoil, that is a common technique that goes back like thousands of years in various teachings

where there are certain groups where the entire premise of the cult and breaking people down is to have them stand up in a room and then get berated until they cry by everybody, bringing up their deepest insecurities, breaking them down

then you can build them up. That's, I don't think that that's tin foil hat at all. I think that that is probably something that happens a lot in various cults and religions and groups. But yeah, walk us through. Billy, here's Billy, make your case. I'm going to make big tea. Wait, big tea. You think he's on my side. You think this is fake or real? I think it's more likely than not that it is fake. Okay. I'm still going to make it take. Don't ride the fence. That's not riding the fence. I think it's probably fake. I, I'm going to make Big T the judge. on this one because i think you look sick in a big black robe

two i i think that you're going to be you would look awesome big tea big t on the supreme court is something i could very easily envision hell no i can imagine we got like five big t's those banks the gavelies like another big t double everyone's like no with a portion is legal i do think you all are out of control You would look sick in a robes, in a justice's robe.

So I'm going to make you the judge, Billy. Why do we still make them wear robes? You know, like, what the fuck is that about? Yeah, I don't really understand the robe with like, sometimes it has like the lace at the top. That's kind of weird. Well, I think part of it is making them look bigger to get authority. Yeah.

Like, you know. I just like we've grown past those kind of traditions, man. A lot of the shit we do is like really like, why do we still do that dumbass shit? Like, why don't I got to wear a suit in court? Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? I am going to buy Big Tia robe, though, just to casually wear around.

I think if Big T. just, like, walked down the street wearing a robe and, like, rode the subway wearing a robe, people would call him Your Honor. The homeless would stop fucking with them. No, I think that would make it worse. I can't wait to the movie Sioux comes out because it's a wonderful book and y'all would enjoy it. And you remind me because the size wear. robes in that book and they call them your honor oh yeah we'll get you a robe so you're gonna be you're gonna be judge uh counselor billy please approach the bench okay my first point of evidence is a actually big t pointed this out originally but will smith on tick tock posted me and jada pinkett

smith got all dressed up to choose chaos this was them posing before they hit the red carpet on the Oscars. They choosing chaos, look, that's very small, but it could be foreshadowing. I wanted on the record. I was sending that as a joke. I did not want that used as serious evidence. Are you serious? I mean, no, he really did say that.

Everyone's out. Well, it's my first point of evidence. It's just we're going to stack it up. I wouldn't have led with that, but go on. Okay. Second point of evidence. That was not our lead off hitter. Will Smith was laughing at the joke before.

he took the stage before he was angry there is video of will smith laughing at the gai jane joke um and i think he may have misconstrued whether that was his cue now he may have been laughing jada got mad at him for laughing and then he was like oh shit you know she might not be going home with me tonight unless i take action that could have also been an ulterior but also i wanted to point to the camera the shots the camera angles were almost a little too perfect

for me and that usually when something unexpected happens you're talking about the Oscars right the Oscars. A camera work at the Oscars was too good for you. Again he brought this up to me this morning and I told him I did not think this was a good one to use. For example in WWE

you can tell when stuff isn't exactly scripted like for example when the fan ran out and took down Seth Rollins, the camera work is never good when it's unplanned. They don't cut the right times when it's unexpected. They're unable to sort of figure it out. So you would have been more likely to see Will Smith walk into the frame.

Chris Rock was at because they thought Chris Rock was going to keep talking rather than going to that wide frame as he was walking in. It wasn't as though like, Hey, bang a gavel, bro. This is the worst. I was going to say, listen, Bill, I want you to know before I say what I'm about to say that I like you a lie and you're a great kid.

Okay, I have more. This is like two. I'm leading with the weak evidence. You have a judge that is on your side and you're losing me big time. I'm leading with the, I'm leading with these like easy evidence then going into like the more hard hitting stuff. It's a classic legal technique to lead with your bad stuff. Your worst evidence.

Right. The real shit. Well then. Opening statement we're not going to get into what I really have. Now that we get there, opening statement should make the jury want to claw their eyes out. Yeah. You want to save your attention grab her for the sixth or seventh day of trial. It should have you borderline getting disbarred. Okay. I'm going to start with list. Okay. So then when he gets to Chris Rock, Chris Rock has his hands

behind his back the whole time. When someone approaches you unexpectedly, it is very unnatural to do nothing with your hands. Absolutely nothing. Just watch a man, walk towards you. And like, just watch a man, walk towards you if you have no idea even if he's your buddy even if he's friendly even if you think will smith is not going to slap you in the oscars people approaching like comedians have been approached while they're doing stand-up all the time chris rock is a comedian and hecklers coming at comedians is a very a common occurrence if he did not think that anything was going to happen to him when will smith was walking up and him keeping his hands in his pants even when this is Good stuff, by the way.

This is... Even when Will Smith raises his hand to slap him, he's still doing nothing. And all he does is basically brace. If you look at the video, so he braces... Chris Rod now is guilty of not having the best reaction time on the planet. Good point. Also, the look on Arian's face when Billy was presenting this point was all time. Just like listening to each point laughing about it.

Aaron, when was the last time you got approached by somebody you didn't put your fist up like we're going to find it? not fish anything take your hands out of your pockets like be like a he's presenting an award he's on stage with his hands behind his back because he's presenting an award and then he sees oh but not only that will smith is approaching you it's not it's not some random heckler in the crowd right this is one of the most recognizable faces of all time yeah like and you're saying you should square up right not square up i'm not saying square up but to like maybe have hands and welcome Like, oh, what are you doing here?

Like, do absolutely nothing with your hands and just get slapped. If it was, say, Chad Kelly approaching me on stage, I would probably be ready for some sort of escalation. For example. But Will Smith is like America's sweetheart, Will Smith. Yeah, I assumed when I first saw him go up on stage, I think Chris Rock probably, I'm assuming that Chris Rock and Will Smith have met each other before. Right.

And that they probably run in similar circles, considering they were both giants of comedy. and movies and television back throughout the 90s and 2000s. They're probably somewhat friendly with each other. He probably thought, oh, here comes maybe the most charming man in Hollywood that's going to step up to the mic

and diffuse the situation with a whimsical joke and return to his seat. Maybe some light some light like roughhousing, maybe like a little on the head. But even when you're doing when you're doing that, you're even going to prepare for it, be like, oh,

man he's about to like when you're like even your best friend when he walks up to you and you know he like he might mess with you or do something you're taking a little more of a like welcoming posture and then just having your hands behind your back like that's just unnatural to me like if even my best friend walked up to me I would not keep my hands behind my back I'd be like yeah yeah yeah but anyway there's more evidence wait hang on let me ask I I would like to rebut real quick here and just say um what did will Smith stand to gain if this was all fake from going

up and pretend slapping Chris Rock and then letting America believe that it was real for the next 24 hours. What's his because I'm sure you've thought of that. I just want to ask may it please the court if you could go you may but just next time. Yeah. Okay. Fucking respect the judge. Thanks

bitch. That's why I like fake tea as the judge. You get him at a little power though. Yeah exactly. The power is already gone to him. No abortion rights on this stop stop this is a lot of fair come on um

anyway after the slap occurred there's a picture of Wilson are not answering my question oh yeah I forgot I've lost my line of thought

okay so why what did you stand to game no one's watching the fucking Oscars at that point we know that it framed Nick Adams was the question

question of that why didn't they lead off with this because they wanted to see how it went when Amy Schumer coming down in a Spider-Man costume

didn't get people going they're like got to pull out the slap no but if you want people to watch that you lead like well hang on hang on basically it framed his framed his it framed his acceptance speech

and got people to watch it first of all that's now in prime time everywhere in the country because it was 8 o'clock on the west coast and he was going up there 15 minutes later to accept the award for best actor are you the judge or what oh I was just I just wanted to point out some evidence

That's not your job. Objection. Billy still hasn't really addressed my question, which is... What does he stand to gain? We're all talking about it. No, we're talking about the... You're talking about the Oscars ratings improve. What is Will Smith stand to gain?

People... From doing potentially a career suicide move. People... What's the big benefit that he gets? It framed his narrative of him protecting his family and being a vessel of love through protecting his family on the world stage, framing his portrayal. of King Richard and how they, I mean, not King Richard. That's the name of the movie, right?

But it was Richard Williams. Pretraying Richard Williams as this man who'll do anything for his family and how Will Smith like felt the role because he was involved in it and all very valid things. But just to emphasize this sort of message and narrative, I think he did take those artistic licenses to go that far. And if Chris Rock was in on it, which it looked like he was because he was smiling after he got slapped and Will Smith was smiling and then when was Will Smith smiling there's a picture that I think like maybe one still frame that they caught but he was not smiling afterwards I think that's that's

that's a smirk that's I mean also if you've never smacked someone like that's a smile inducing feeling well yeah but that's not but also so billy wait that's that's in like maybe the half second after the smack connected and he's turned around he's thinking himself like I'm the man I stood up for my wife and into his first couple stats and then he bounces back and then he sits down and then the rage starts to build and then the reality of the situation that he's as the judge i i have a question for billy because i don't want to go past what you said are was your are you insinuating that will smith wanted did this as some sort of method acting kind of i think as the william sister's dad in a movie that he already did in essence trying to show how it's a sequel to

set up his role in his acceptance speech because the acceptance speech was five minutes long about how he like really took to heart protecting family and like taking on this role. And then in the act of slapping him, one of the greatest actors of all time broke character and smiled after he slapped him. Yeah. Solid. For a second. And don't forget Chris Rock, a guy who's done improv on this.

biggest stage of Saturday Night Live, also broke character. Yeah, he was absolutely rattled. I don't think so. I think he crushed it. He handled it. He handled it. Because he knew who's coming. I think I think he can both be true.

I think he can be very rattled, but also handle it well. Because like right afterwards, he goes, well, that's the biggest night in the history of television. And like that kind of deflated the room a little bit, got, you know, it diffuses a situation. Which is a real talent, Chris. very very talented but they also gave him a look after that was like well i got something for your ass but i'm going to move on because he chris rock gave him a look that it was just like man i i want to go full chris rock right now but listen we're going to end this and move on and then they bring out ditty which is maybe the funniest part of all this of all the people

to bring out after this off occasion did he come on or or what all the people who would be the best person to sort of quelm the situation and address it without making it. She comes out there with a Pepsi. Pepsi. Yeah. And address it without making it too crazy. Look, I don't think it's that funniest thing of all time. I think the funniest thing of any, any funny world event that happens on Twitter, jaw roll trends. It just shows you how powerful Dave Chappelle's voice was. It is. It's hilarious. If that was Chappelle instead of rock, first of all, Chappelle's been hitting the weights since he got back from his, his vacation. Like, he I don't know that Will Smith would have smacked Chappelle if he would have

Chappelle'd still be up on that stage going in on G.I. Jane jokes. Yeah. Chris Rock not even losing his balance off that slap was pretty impressive because he hit the shit out of him. That was like, that was a tough stuff. The hit, the hit looked like when you, like the, if you look at the way Will Smith slapped him, it was kind of like a, he had his bald his fist, but then released it right as he was like no one slap like it was a weird way to slap somebody

you actually believe this shit it makes your good body ask you no Billy see Billy kind of does believe it oh Billy Billy kind of does believe it and he's more he's also very much into the scavenger hunt of trying to figure out ways why it is believable

because everybody wants to be right on the internet and there's nothing better than being in the minority but also being correct about some opinion. That's when you really get the endorphins going. You're like, I'm right. Everyone else is wrong. I'm a genius good for me. So if the fake, if the slap is fake people end up being correct, man, that's going to be quite a victory laugh they're going to be taking. I wrote a blog that's coming out in one minute about it being fake and Billy's making me think I need to like trash it before it goes out. What is it? I mean, I completely disagree with the blog,

big tea, but it's not my job too. Well, what was one of your? Points, big T. All right. So if we were switching roles, Bill, and I would be prosecution, I would have led with, so I do believe it was fake. Billy with a robe doesn't have the same zest. Billy with a robe doesn't have the same zest. Yeah, no, I'm not a rogue guy.

But let's just say for a second, it's real. If that's real, that's the most convenient shit to ever happen for the Oscars. That's like happened to any institution ever. Like, I disagree. Why? I mean, that was great for them. It was. All the discourse for the last 12 hours now has been how Will Smith almost killed Chris

Rock because he's a dangerous stuff. I think. No, that's nothing to do. That's an extreme minority. Also, wait. No, it's not. I have a last point. Usually when, like, let's say you're at a party, right?

and you do something out of line you take some liberty even like the Oscars is just one big Hollywood party usually after you do it there's that moment where it's like oh shit maybe I shouldn't have done that

and there was and he had that moment I think he had that moment when he got pulled aside by Denzel and Tyler Perry to calm him down and Bradley Cooper for some reason and Bradley Cooper they should take it a selfie in that moment and and they talked him

down and then he got up on stage and delivered kind of a rambling speech when he accepted the award I I am like a little worried about Will Smith though because I don't think he's I don't think he's in a good place if that was real he's an insane person he's who well let's just say he's he's in a bad place right now honestly okay when it comes to celebrities I especially if you're a massive fucking fucking star like they are. Will Smith probably top 100 most recognizable people in the entire world, I would say. That has to fuck with you big time. The idea that everybody in the world knows who you are and has opinions about you constantly, especially if your marriage is out there publicly and they know all the shit that goes in your personal life, you are in a very unnatural

place for humans to be in. That shit, we're not equipped to deal with all that. There are things that happen in your life that would be inconsequential to anybody else. But if somebody takes a picture from like TMZ or whatever, all of a sudden you've got millions of people weighing in on what you just bought at Walmart or some bullshit like that. He probably

doesn't go to Walmart. Let's just say like he's leaving Target guy. Yeah, he's a target guy. They got good clearance deals right there on wintertime clothes. And that's a really fucked up place for somebody to be in and our brains aren't really equipped to handle

things like that. So the amount of stress that he's under constantly, even though he seems like a very cool, natural, easygoing guy has got to be just something that I cannot possibly even imagine. So I think he's definitely, he's struggling with that. And I think it's probably a natural thing for him to be struggling with. But again, I go back to he went up on stage at the Oscars and slapped Chris Rock in the face. And can I also say about that? He, what you said is fair. granted he's been dealing with that for 30 years at this point so he should know how to handle that but not necessarily i i would it should it still shouldn't be normal but like he understands like what comes with that but what i was going to say is the argument that he flew off the handle in

one moment and lost it rock tells the joke he's laughing then it waits like 10 more seconds then he gets up takes a 30 second walk up there and like i mean these times are outrageous yeah It's a, you're exaggerating the times. Correct. You're correct. You're watching in a slow-mo. He takes, he's walking up there. He takes how-N-B-C it on like Saturday night? He takes how many steps up there?

I didn't count. 25-row, so like eight? He definitely traveled. Anyway, he's walking all the way up there. And at no point during this thinks, you know, maybe I shouldn't do that. Then he stands there for like a split second in front of him and doesn't do anything. And then he slaps her. Okay, so I don't think it's like a, he's stressed, he did the moment thing.

I think it's, there's, he's dealing with some emotional issues. issues, right? I think that, like, he's got, he's got a lot of, it's not the, we can count, um, it's the numbers probably in the tens of thousands, I would guess, of people that have attended the Oscars and not slapped anybody, right? There's been some very famous people that have gone to the Oscars had jokes made about them and their wives and did not get up on stage and slap somebody. So it's not, I'm not excusing. I'm not saying like it's natural like what happened. I'm saying that for him to have that reaction, which is so much different. for everybody else, it's probably the sign of a troubled person, someone who's going through

something pretty heavy right now. I don't even think it's that deep. I think it's like you said something, my wife's pissed. I'm going to fix your face and sit back down. Like, really all that like went into it for me. Like, yeah, we know he has got this, all this other shit going on. And then he told us about it in his like becoming the Joker acceptance speech that he gave. But I don't, I don't, I got what, what this comes.

down to and it's like every fight the only thing we see publicly fights like this is like the two times a year it happens in a sporting event like a lot of people just haven't seen fights or like any sort of actions and consequences in their lives is like what this boils down to to me like i i i've seen people smack for a lot less than what that was last night of course yeah i mean i don't think anybody with any kind of like I don't know, I ain't gonna go there. But I'm saying, it's just, it's not, it's not, it's just, it wasn't a big deal. I don't think it's a big deal.

It's a big deal because we keep talking about it, like as a collective community, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. And I think, I mean, and without my point about Will was like, it's, it's obviously out of character for him. Like, he's not a, he don't, you know what I mean? But, like, everybody has a breaking point. But this is why, again, I reiterate, like, all those. when he becomes a meme when he's at a red table trying to be open about his marriage right his personal business like when you when you when you and granted it is inviting right they

invited it's just where we at as society it's like that shit that shit weighs on you dog like that shit wait like motherfucker how long you've been in a public eye that's why some people like denzil like denzil you never see paparazzi following denzil around you know what I'm saying he moves in a certain way where he understands he has to protect a part of him Like, not everybody does that and there are consequences to that. And the consequences is letting the public on your front door a day and that shit weighs on you. Right, wrong, or indifferent.

And you'll hear people say, oh, well, you know, that's the cost of being a celebrity, right? And I always argue with them people, like, the same amount of empathy you want for your position that you should have for somebody else's position, no matter of the financial, because they're in a therapist in the world, I can fix that shit, though. That shit's going to sit with you for a while. I think what you saw in his reaction, if you look at like the split second breakdown of him laughing at the joke, seeing Jada not laugh at the joke and then like a switch flipping, probably not knowing the particulars of their relationship, I'm just going based off normal human emotions. You see your wife not laugh at a joke and she is also in an open relationship with you where now you feel like you have to, you're always having. to like prove yourself as being like worthy of being her man no matter how cool you say you are

with it i think there's still probably something where it's like this is still my wife i need to i need to compete against anybody else that she might be trying to go out there and have a relationship with where he's like okay snap i'm gonna i just snapped into like anger mode i need to go prove myself as being worthy of being her husband going up on stage slapping Chris Rock coming down and sitting down he's like that's my wife I just did it was also he's he knows he's winning best actor he's like I don't want to hear about this shit in the car like on the way home like I better do something so we can focus on me the rest of the night I don't I don't I don't have to deal with this and can I just say something without being horny she looks good she like great great

great look I don't care hair no hair doesn't matter Jada's looking good so Jada I don't know what your personal situation is like right now but

hello I'm just kidding I'm joking I'm obviously not gonna I don't want to get slapped so that was a joke Will if you're listening Madeline got caught liking stuff on the timeline

I just got a DM you're getting bonged you liked a bunch of hairy style of photo Love it. Can't be throwing balks and glass houses. Yeah, so thirsty. Wow. Embarrassing.

Yeah. Harry stuff. I look, I was very bonkable on the timeline last night. I'll, like, look. Bunk. Bunk on me. Okay. We can bong.

Every time Miley Cyrus posts anything remotely, remotely scandalous, I just get mad people tagging me in it, just daring me to click that little heart button. And I do. I do just because I know the joy that certain. sickos out there get of seeing PFT comments are liked next to a picture of Miley Cyrus and a catwoman out there. You like it for a reason.

You know that people can see it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. I'm playing six-dimensional chess right now with you guys. Yeah, I take pride in it. I don't even think that she's attractive. It's all a bit. I thought the best part of the night was when Samuel dapped up will, like he had wanted

to punch Chris Rock for the longest time ever. I feel bad for Chris Rocks. I thought he was pretty well, like, I don't think he's ever. taking that many shots. Well, I think people love Chris Rock when he's talking about somebody else. And then when he's talking about you, his commentary his comedy is so

like cutting sometimes that if he does include you in one of his jokes, it probably makes you pretty pissed off at him because he usually fucking nails it. I'm I'm going to be honest. I think maybe it wasn't a total work, but I definitely think Will Smith

went in there with the thought of slapping somebody. Well, Chris Rocker, wait, you thought he was going to slap, like, someone was going to slap behind. Like, like, if someone goes after, like, if he's going with this, protect my family thing, there's a little bit of like, I'm definitely, like, if anyone goes after my family, I'm definitely slapping them.

I think that the Oscars. Yeah. Well, he did it. Chris Rock had definitely made fun of Jada before. It was not the first time. So there's, like, a little bit of history there. Yeah, they're on the Oscars. So white one that I believe he hosted.

they boycotted, she made a video and went out of her way to be like, we love you, Chris, this is nothing to do with you. And he still cracked a joke at her. So like five years coming, some people said was into that slap. I don't know. I think Chris Rock should thank Will Smith because, like, he saved him from just a brutal five minutes of stand-up. like that was not none of it

everything before that wasn't he started off with mask jokes like it's 2022 man like move on when was the last time you guys have been slapped you slapped me this morning I did slap Billy this morning

that's true honestly I'm addicted I'm addicted to slap discussions right now I was trying to prove that no one would have if like so PFT had his hands in his pockets so I was like this is a perfect example so I walked up to him like just like the same

Will Smith walked up to Chris Rock shorter distance and he even reacted. So just... Because you're not Will Smith. Yeah, but Will Smith, but like I'm... You're forgetting... Thank you. You're forgetting that it was at the Oscars

where there's like 20 million people watching you and you're looking at a teleprompter. Used to be 20 million people watching. Yeah. I don't know. They actually, the ratings just came out. It average 13.7. I'd imagine the peak obviously was much

higher than that but I don't know the the average was 13.7 which was still very very low which actually surprised me I thought it would have been higher well I haven't seen what the peak is but the average of the whole show it's it's very rare to see somebody in a tuxedo slapping another person also in a tuxedo right I think that that to me like it adds a little bit of panache a little bit of spice to it I like that so it was such a good event in terms of just like people got some jokes off. People were joking around. It kind of brought us all together for a minute to all be talking about the same thing. I'm addicted to slap discourse. Like I am not looking forward to going through days upon days of having nobody slap anybody else on television. I was thinking about this

today. Not COVID or a war, something like that. What was the last thing that happened in sports or entertainment or whatever that was the only thing spoken about for at this point? at least 12 hours like the only thing people are talking about i'd say miles garrett assault no but that wasn't even yeah wasn't that was more honestly that was probably just my world yeah that was a great that was a great well i think sports are for sure in the kind like 283 i don't mean to say it to you big t but like that shut up made some headlines shut up cool this guy's out of control he's in such a bad mood today that was just that was just too is that not true it is true but you're in it you're in a mood. Well, I mean, I just, the truth has a mood attached to it now. My apologies.

Well, we did ask how you were doing when we got into this thing and you said you, you were contemplating taking your own life. Correct. I just always, I just always, I just always think that. So we agree. You're in a, you're in a bit of a mood today. That's my normal default setting. I don't think that's a good mood though. I, I just, I having spent so much time around Hank for the last six years, there's always, there's always like a shot clock in my head anytime something happens how quickly can this be tied back to the excellence of the new england patriots and uh and so whatever coley absolutely hits that one in under hanks time it really really irritates me but i also respect new england fans for just always being on guard having

despite having so much success in their sports fandom to have that big chip on their shoulder where they're just looking for disrespect at every twist and turn that that wasn't this was the Malcolm Butler Interception probably got more discourse because there was no like what should the Falcons have done. The Malcolm Butler Interception had so much, oh, they should have obviously ran it after it. Hey guys, just so you know, in about five minutes here, we're going to have somebody that had boots on the ground technically, or it has an inside track on what happened in the room. They're going to be joining the Zoom conversation. So just is it Apatow? No, it's not Apatow.

It's Tommy Alter. Oh, so, yeah. So Tommy, was he at the August? He was not, we'll let him, we'll let him get into it, but he's going to give us a little. He knew everyone there. So I think this is Tommy's first appearance on the show. He's actually the one that introduced me to Aryan, and you've probably heard me say his name a few times or seen some of the pictures that we've taken.

Tommy's a good friend of mine, and he knows literally everyone. He's probably, I would imagine he's had a one-on-one conversation with both Chris Rock and Will Smith at some point in his life. I think he was on the show. He was here in person and he sat in. Yeah, he wasn't on the show, but he's been with us. I think he whispered something to the mic. He might have. Yeah, so this is the mysterious Tommy Alter,

co-host of Old Man and Three with JJ Reddick, uh, the world's number one Duke podcast. So he will be joining us in a second. But yeah, real quick, going around the room, when was the last time you got slap big tea? I don't know, ever. You've never been. Yep, that explains a lot.

Why? you can just tell I would say most people have never been slapped before. You've never slapboxed in the No I think that counts I think most people have been slapped before the slapboxes like out

No even if it does You have certainly never done that Yeah no not that I can recall You think most people have been slapped I don't yes No I agree with you most people haven't But I think that's why we've seen such

Terrible takes about this What about you hearing? Slap more people More people should be slap I firmly believe that That's how I got slapped I was in college And we was at

We was at my man's house He stayed off campus And his mom and dad Cook gumbo They're from Louisiana So it was like real gumbo And so he was all together It was out drinking the shit

And there was no reason My man did this Like we was all in the kitchen, chilling, having a good time, and Adam Noah, man just comes up to me. Yeah. Slaps the shit out of me. And I was like, I was shocked.

I was Chris Rock. I was like, what the fuck? And then the adrenaline come on, and I'm a friend of rushing. And then the dudes whose house it was, he was like, my parents are here. Please don't do anything. Please don't do anything. To this day, I don't know why he slapped me.

He don't know why he slapped me. I think he was drunk. And we talked about it afterwards. but I was I was it was weird it was a weird time yeah there's there's like a moment of shock usually that comes with it where you it's just so disrespectful yeah you have to try to process it and then it's not a punch so because he don't he don't want to hurt you and sit you down he wants to utterly disrespect you as a man like that's what it is coli yeah I don't know I've I've been struck like within the past couple of years but certainly not slapped slap would have to have been

while. What about as a bouncer? Um, no. I mean, I was, I didn't do a ton of like the last place I bounced out was a pizza place in Amherst. I wasn't, my security spot wasn't as much bouncing as it was. Go ahead, Aaron. Why did a pizza place need a bowser? So it's the, it's like the late night spot after everything closes in a college town. And it's very, like it's about the size of the room I'm in now so it just gets very crowded so they put my big ass

right in the middle of it like a fucking traffic cone it was my job to keep people moving was not worth the money makes sense Avery I've definitely been slapped at a bar a couple times like just made people slap me like when I was super drunk for sure

no doubt I don't remember when, but for sure. Yeah. You were a little dominatrix type. Yeah. I mean, the last... The ladies go it. Last time I got slapped along those same lines was in New Orleans right after the national

championship game between LSU and Clemson. Because they have the shot ladies that go around and some of them will like slap you before they give you a shot. I had talked about like how awesome that was before I went down there. And then I just ran into these two girls that were kind of. like joining us on our bar crawl down bourbon street and they wanted to slap me and so there's a video out there of one of them giving me a shot i take it and then she slaps me my face and i just look at the camera with like a shit hitting grin be like yeah i did it it's a ridiculous video but

listen when you're on bourbon street i don't think that the slaps count besides that it's probably been i don't know like 15 years i think it was like new year's eve back in 2010 i think was the last time And the best thing that can happen to get your ass beat when you're younger, like under 10, just so you know, like, always have that in the back of your mind. It's a good life lesson. Yep. All right. We've got, we got Tommy joining us. Tommy.

What's up, Bill? How's it going? What's the word? Well, this is pretty good. It's your first time joining us, I think, officially on the show. I know. What the fuck? It's been a year.

I know. I know. Well, you're here now. You were in the studio for one of our previous episodes, but you weren't on the mic. So Tommy, as is as close as boots on the ground as we can get right now to what happened last night, we're debating the realness or the fakeness of the slap. You know people that were in the room. Well, first of all, I speculated that you might personally know Chris Rock and or Will Smith, or at least have had conversations with them before. Is that accurate?

Yeah, that's accurate. yeah not to be like bragging whatever fuck you have like I had dinner with Chris Rocker two weeks ago yeah yeah okay this is this kind of what I figured so what's the report on the ground what did people see in the moment what was the aftermath

I mean it's definitely real I think it's I actually was I was talking about this with JJ today it is annoying to me that people are saying it's fake because it doesn't make any sense for either of them to fake it and it's not like the show it's not like wrestling where like there's a big boss who can tell the talent what to do.

The talent runs the show. You know, everything that these guys do is completely planned out ahead of time. I mean, Chris will go off the cup with jokes and things like that. But, you know, it doesn't make any sense for Will. This is one of the biggest nights of his career to sabotage it by going up and hitting somebody in the face.

Like they're just, like you usually use basic common sense. And the whole, this thing was fake makes no sense. I'm curious if there's someone wants to make an argument for why it's fake. because I don't actually fundamentally understand it. Good point, Tommy. Neither does, neither does he.

No, we're just debating in here on the show. But as someone who's a good debate, don't bow down, no, I'm not bowing down, but it's probably much, it's probably much easier when you actually know them to be like, that was like, that was definitely real. I don't think, I'd sound like I have no, any insight info over the last 24 hours about it.

I'm just more curious about like, what did they get out of it like hypothetically i hypothetically the ratings definitely boosted at the Oscars after it happened which highlighted will smith speech which he echoes a lot of the sentiments of his character and king richard by saying that you know he does everything to protect his family he's a vessel of love and that was sort of almost like poetry in motion for him to do right before his speech what he like was preaching so in a way it almost was be like a very, you know, just make Will Smith almost really look like the character he was trying to play.

Well, I will agree that it's made me want to go watch King Richard. Like, now I want to go see the movie. As hype, as hype as hype. But let me ask you this, Billy, what if he didn't win? I'm pretty, like, I look at the, I think someone brought up the odds. He was minus 600 to win, best actor. So that was what? So that, so he was definitely the favorite.

But, I mean, then the implication is that these are, the Oscars are also rigged in terms of everyone knows ahead of time that, like, there's a chance he could have not won, just like, you know, Cota was probably the favorite to win. But, like, how are the dog or like one of the other movies could have won for sure. There's upsets. Like, it wouldn't have been a crazy upset if somebody else had won either Best Picture or Best Actor. And so then it's like, you all of that for nothing. True, true. So what was, which I also might think, that I think is a little more debatable. that the Oscars are rigged?

Well, I think there's definitely people in the know who could definitely get it out so as someone as well-connected to Hollywood as Will Smith. Tommy, what have you heard about what the mood in the room was like after the incident? I heard it was crazy. I basically think everybody thought it was a part of the show at first. And then, but they could hear the slap.

So they said that that was uncomfortable to mildly. And then I think that everyone said it was, they knew it was not part of the show when he was cursing at him, which obviously we seemed to put it up, when he was cursing at him basically like off camera. They were like, if it was going to be a bit, they would have, the bit would have stopped when the camera stopped rolling. And they were like, it wouldn't make any sense to do that off camera, basically. And then when, when Denzel and all those guys went over to him, like afterwards, they were like something clearly off. And they basically said it was just like extremely uncomfortable for

the rest of the time. So obviously kind of makes sense. quickly do you think we're going to move on to the next step of this discourse, which is going to be like the Will Smith challenge on TikTok where you just go up to somebody and slap them? I mean, hopefully, that's a better question for you guys. I don't know.

What do you think? I think ASAP. It's probably already happening. BFT already slapped me this morning. He was asking for it. He approached me in an aggressive manner. So, so can you can, I'm sorry, just the beginning of the show.

Take the fakeness out of it for a second. Whose side is everybody on? I'm on the side that Will Smith should not have done it, obviously. But I also am kind of coming around to the realization that I think he's probably going through a very challenging part of his life where he's like dealing with some mental issues, obviously because that's not the reaction of a healthy, stable, grounded human being. I think it depends on.

whether Chris Rock knew Jada Pinkett Smith had alopecia because I think that is the big question wrong disagree I didn't hear rides in the streets for Charlie Villanoevo when KG was given him the business for years well that's true also what Charlie was also capable of defending himself and fucking Patriarch PFT yeah Do you think it would have been different if Jada had gone up and slapped him? I think she gets a standing ovation. Yeah, I think it would be more impactful, yeah. For sure.

Did Will Smith steal that moment from her? Many or saying. Oh, that chill out, chill out, chill, I did like to take, though, when somebody was like, what if Amy Schumer had made that same joke in Will Smith? They got on stage and slapped her. Again, standing ovation, I think. No, who else was there was, um, who's a comedian? Oh, yeah.

What if Kanye had slacked Taylor Swift? No, he'd be in jail. What was that? Who's that? I'm looking at it right now. I forget. Comedian rapist? No, no, no.

Why did you raba? No, it's not rabeau. Ricky Jervas. Oh. Mickey Javis was trending because people were saying I wish it was Ricky Javis. Well, I have actually another question because this is the other thing that I'm curious about is I saw

all these people, all these comedy people last night were basically like they were definitely taking Chris's eye, but they were also being like, now you can't tell jokes without worrying about someone coming up and like hitting you in the face because they're offended by it. Hey, comedians be the most sensitive, bro. Like, they were complaining

about fucking sensitivity, but they be the most sensitive, bro. If you, if you this is square, you want to stand on, stand on that shit. If you want to tell a joke and that's part of the consequence, run it. Yeah. But then you almost know that if you're going to say stuff like that, like you're not going to keep your hands in the back of your pockets

when someone's walking up towards you. No, no one's ever done stand up with their hands behind their back. That part's true. Right. But when someone comes towards you, your natural inclination is to do something with your hands, not just leave yourself totally open. Not in just like a fighting sense,

like in like a, oh, like greeting. Like, what are you doing up here type thing? You know? I hope there's a good lesson for comedians to remember that their jobs to be funny above all else i feel like that's gotten lost from from their job uh like they've self-imposed themselves every dave spell almost ruined comedy in a way because now everyone thinks they have to make some like grand overarching point every time they did like sometimes you just got to be fucking funny like be brian regan you don't always have to be dave shepel if you were if you were chris

rock would you be about to go on a big tour would you lean into this you have to because would you destroy the family well you have to stop talking about it you have to you have to lean into it to a certain extent because that's why people are going to be showing up. Like that's, that's, you, you're, you address it. I don't think you, but I know, I know Chris Rock can be like a really standard, like, he's solid cat.

And so, like, I don't think he's going to, like, exacerbate the situation and continue to talk about Jada or Will. I think he's going, like, addressed, like, you know, like men. I think he'll make fun of himself. Yeah, he'll make fun. And he'll make fun of the situation and, and walk through, like, what was happening in that moment.

I don't think he's going to go scorched earth on the entire Smith family. I also think that there's a pretty good chance that we're going to see Chris Rock and Will Smith in a commercial at some point. I agree. I agree. My prediction,

I don't think this is necessarily a positive thing. This is just literally my thought is that they will host the Oscars together at some point, maybe next year. I think they will like, I think they will like figure out some way to everyone gets paid off of this. Yep.

It's just too bad. So I don't think it's fake, but they would. That does not too much to disfing. the theory that it was fake. It's just too perfect. I think it. But, but,

but, it's any confrontations. Any public conversation. Yeah. You can monetize. You can figure it out after the fact. It was just making it. Yeah,

go ahead, but it was just almost too smooth. The whole way went down. That's Will Smith. But like, dude, he connected, he walked up there.

He did a weird wind up that was almost, it just looked, You can't swing properly in a tux. True. I mean, it was a good snags. I think I will also say, I think that I've already talked about this at the beginning of the show.

But when you look at his career, when you look at Will Smith's career, there's basically him and Tom Cruise, and there's nobody else, in my opinion, who have been, they have built up the, they're like the last movie star. They've built up their public image

in a very, very specific family, friendly way for like 20 plus a year at this point. He's not going to just all of a sudden like break that because he cares about the Oscars ratings. Like he doesn't give a shit about the Oscars or their rating. I wonder what they have in common. Who?

Tom Cruise and Will Smith. Oh, Scientology. Well, that's a different. Yeah. Who would who would probably know who's winning best actor before anyone else did? Just people connect in the community. And you

know if you had to set something up to you know, the Scientologist maybe weren't getting as much attention because the Oscars weren't doing as well? I don't know. I'm just saying. I'm just asking questions here for like this will forever be the thing people associate with Will Smith, like not fresh prints, not met him like nothing else is going to top this ever in people's mind. This is the number one Will Smith. Yeah, he's not going to be able to get this off for his whole career. No. So like he risked all that for the Oscars ratings like I don't that's kind of me

I don't necessarily think it's going to be a blemish on his record I really don't like I think in the immediate future yeah five years from that I don't know my own go fuck his track record's too long well you shouldn't people shouldn't give a fuck now but whether or not

they remember it I think like blemish on it will forever be a meme it's going to be a meme for the rest of his life it's a thing that it's a thing that yeah anytime anybody writes about his career or anything like that it will be in the first like three sentences and in our our generation we've been able to see his body of work from the start of fresh prince to independence day men in black wild wild west what a great film and all the above but for the

younger generation like mad dogs and below they don't have that entire experience of seeing will smith grow up from being essentially a kid to what he is now it will be more impactful for the generations that are that are younger than us that are going to look back at will smith's career like mad dog like when you think of will smith what what's the first thing before last night they came into your mind like what's the first movie i think about yeah what in in your mind what what is he known for like men in black yeah or like honestly like pursuit of happiness hancock yeah i don't know what hancock is i just i feel like for for the younger generation it's going to be more impactful than it is for us right like i know obviously like i know the cultural impact that will smith has and like

I mean, Billy and I are the same age. Like, I know what the cultural impact that Will Smith has, but I wasn't, I don't think I was alive when Fresh Prince came out. No, right? Neither was Billy or not. Right. So, like, I didn't grow up with him like you guys did as much. But, like, he has, I think, the one of the biggest cultural impacts of any celebrity in Hollywood.

Yeah. All right. Tommy will let you go. Thank you for joining us. That's our Hollywood insider Tommy Alter. Thanks, Tommy. I'll see you in the city. Are you going to be in New Orleans?

Yeah. Okay. Why did you say that like he was from New Orleans? Because the Final Four is in New Orleans this weekend. No, you said that like you are from it. You said, you're going to be in New Orleans? New Orleans. That's how you pronounce it.

It's not New Orleans. You ever told it? It's not New Orleans. We had a fun New Orleans time before the world ended. We did. Yeah, that was the last good weekend. That was a Joe Burrow coronation, right? It was.

Yes, sir. That's when I got slapped the last time. just talking about that. So, all right. I'll see you guys in Nalans. Later. Bye. You guys tell me.

You guys say New Orleans? No, it's that's what, it sounded like you said. They said, you're going to be down to New Orleans? New Orleans. Yeah. That's how.

It was like one word, Norlands. That's how I say it. I don't know. I guess I've probably just been corrected so many times from people on how to say it correctly. And also, do me for a loop because your accent doesn't.

That's how you would pronounce. It's one of my favorite cities in the world, so I try to, I follow their lead when they tell me how to pronounce it. I think I've said this before, but hop two sexy accents from women from New Orleans, hot two. Yeah, in kind of like a wild crazy way. No, like it's the, it's the black women's accent from New Orleans is just so sexy, dog. That one in Jamaica, Jamaican, Jamaica women. Those two accents. I thought you were saying that.

you thought like a Cajun accent was really sexy? No, because like, like, like white southern accents, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so fond of, but like, and even some, some black and some in some regions, but like black women in New Orleans, it's just, there's no. Well, the white accent from New Orleans, like the Cajun accent is actually, I love it. It's awesome. It's hilarious. It's way different than anything else. I can't even begin. to replicate it. But there's like our, it's like our German. It's just so aggressive. Like,

it's so in your face for no reason. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Oh, I can't. Are we talking like a Coach O or like a no, not, not. Not necessarily cool. You're thinking, Coach O speaks Coach O. He's like kind of different. But that's that's, that's Cajun. Like, have you guys, he's like the Kennedy version of the Cajuns. Like he's so unique unto himself. No one else really talks to. No, there's a, there's a guy on swamp people who talks like that have you guys watched swamp people the gator hunting show I have not

it's a very good show it's on Discovery Channel it's about these guys who go and hunt gators in in Louisiana no I really love the show and not many people watch the show like I could spend like a whole like Saturday just like on my couch watching the show

anyway there's a guy with a very similar accent his son also has the accent and it's very coach I gotta listen to it for a second and then maybe I could emulate it. Like that dude from the Waterboy? Yeah. Kind of. Aaron, Aaron, can you fill out the rest of your top five most sexy accents?

Come to shoot the ghetto. We got Jamaican, New Orleans. I'd have to get back to you. I can't do it right now. By the end of the show, I got you. No offense, Coley, but like hardcore New England. The worst pretty I'd say the least sexy of the accents the absolute the absolute worst it's up there with like Irish like Irish accents no I like I like I like I like it's happening the day Rob Williams gets hurt this is how everyone treats me I will not soon forget the Irish accent is fun Irish accents are no I didn't say fun they're funny as hell but sexy like when you and you got the candles lit and then somebody says some shit to you and Irish dialect you like that's getting you

off I would love Aaron let's hear your Irish accent I'm not doing an Irish accent I'll be mad racist Like Hang on one second sorry What's up Kelly Yes What we were

The fuck Bye Kelly Is there cancelation No No we're good Who's Kelly Kelly is our guest booker So

Can we talk about that tweet Yeah, we can talk about that tweet. So we actually have, we're going to have to cut off recording, macrodosing in a little bit because Judd Apatow is coming into the studio to do part of my take. Judd Apatow, you may remember him from last night's tweet. He was one of the people that Coley is probably alluding to and they shouldn't have the internet. He said that Will Smith could have killed Chris Rock with that slap. now it is true that if somebody gets punched and they're not guarding themselves and they get knocked out on their feet and they land on their head people have died from that in fact actually you know what i still remember like the weekend after i moved down to austin there was a big story because there was this um this giant strip club that was right on the southern shore of lake austin so like right downtown off south congress and it was called la bear

Now you might say that's an interesting name for a strip club. Well, yes, it is because it was a male strip club. It was dudes that would dance there. And the weekend after I moved down, one of their dancers got arrested because a dude came up to him on stage and tried to grab him. And he slapped him. It was not a punch. He slapped him. And the guy fell down and actually hit his head and died.

Oh, Jesus. It's like, so I guess it could happen. But to think that that Will Smith almost killed. Chris Rock when Chris Rock didn't even lose his balance that's kind of a I'm interested to hear his take on that because I'm sure that he's had about 15 hours to think about it that's another reason why I think it was fake the way that Chris Rock took the impact of the slap he moved his body

with it like his whole top tort like that's not how you react to getting slapped you like take like when you get hit your react is is like a total your body totally gets out of whatever formality you are and you try to take steps to gain like it's a totally non-conscious movement when you get slapped yeah that's that's called the body moving with the slap because a force just acted right but you move your feet

you don't keep your feet exactly how they were when you get slapped that was the most impressive part that he kept it yeah because it's fake or will smith's got a weak ass right but he does it so the evidence we point have points to it being quite weak. But the way he's wound up, anyway, why don't we move on from it? But Amy Adams and the fighter did a really good Boston accent that I thought was pretty.

One more thing on Will Smith. I get these, you know, these PR emails from people wanting you to do shit about their whatever. And I just received one on odds of a hypothetical Will Smith versus Chris Rock fight. Now, I want to reiterate, these are not, these are for entertainment purposes only. These are not from Penn National Gaming. but in theory what do y'all think the odds would be in a chris rock will smith will smith minus 1100 400 minus 400 only yeah chris rock plus 350 yeah i'm taking rock i don't understand the numbers correlated with the rankings so how does it that would mean

that if you bet on if you bet a hundred dollars on chris rock to win the fight at those odds you would get three hundred fifty dollars back if you won if you bet on will Smith, you would get $25.25 back. Yeah, they're saying Will Smith's the heavy favorite. But I, no doubt, no doubt about that. I think he should be even more of a heavy favorite. I disagree. Again, those odds are not real.

We've seen the damage he can inflict. It's not a lot. Nah. Chris Rock was poor, longer. The reach. Well, remember, he still has way less money. I don't. Will Smith did train for Ali.

And showed none of it. it last night. Because I don't think he was trying to hurt him. I think it was more. Dude, this whole thing just makes it even more sound like a set out. I'm sorry. Jed Apatow said he could have killed him.

That's pure out of control, rage and violence. They are not freshmen in the world of Hollywood and comedy. He lost his mind. This is exactly why Will Smith would not agree to do to this ahead of time. Because you get like wildly racist comments like that where it's just like, look at these these out of control thugs fighting up here on this this hollywood stage of ours like it you would argue will smith was the most controlled person in that room last night the way he

calmly walked up there delivered his blow and sat back down and out of control person would have beat him to a bulb until he got pulled off of them so so hand up on this one when I read it and this this might be a blind spot for me showing right now but curious to hear your feedback when I read that tweet. I didn't think, I didn't think racism. I thought this person is a psycho for just leaping to the fact that he could have killed him. That seems like a big jump to me. Like, I don't think Chris Rock was ever in danger of dying on that stage, but maybe I'm wrong. When he's like, it's not overt racism. Like, he didn't call him like a hard R or something like that. Like, it's not like that. It's the way he's talking about him as a person. Like,

that's pure out of control rage and violence like it's um it was like the richard sherman uh was it Aaron Andrews yeah like when they were like oh he's out of control it's like no he's not he's passionate like it was a moment of passion like if again if this was fucking uh matt damon who slapped um i don't even know chris chris delia or something like it wouldn't be like oh Matt Damon was out of control. He lost his mind. That's not how people would talk about it. It's like it gets,

this is the framing that it's been for a long time in order to make it seem like it's like animalistic as opposed to human. Like I get why your mind didn't jump that because it is so ridiculous, but it's in there for sure. I understand the framing of it. I think that if Matt Damon had like slap Billy Crystal, I think I think I probably would have described him as being out of good. Well,

You probably would have thought it was a work. I'm curious to know what Aryan takes better. Mad disrespectful to compare Billy Crystal to Chris Rock. No, yes, that, yep, probably fair. Chris Rock wasn't in a monster, zinc. But, Aaron, when you, when you hear that. Chris Rock was in, he was, uh, he was, uh, Moses Jones. He was in Madagascar.

Yeah, no, it was like, I was about to say the dragon from Mulan, but that was Eddie Murphy. Yeah, no one's slapping Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy couldn't create as facts Now quick question Remember when Matt Damon Had that beef with Jimmy Kimmel Yeah

I think we would have even more thought It was a work If we had Matt Damon Participating in a beef I think that they did participate In that work I think it ended up being like the biggest work ever It was like Matt Damon

Will not come on the Jimmy Kimmel show And it was They did a video Right it was a joke Yeah it was a joke Jimmy Kimmel would like light his house on fire That would be like part of a bit like it was very much a bit yeah but like we've seen these sorts of bits before from

hollywood i don't think that this was a bit though i this wasn't like a set up bit though billy i'm dude i'm just saying you don't believe you can i can i present just one piece of interesting uh evidence i've come across chris rach is performing uh at the wilbur theater in boston on wednesday the get in price yesterday like the cheapest ticket you could get was 80 dollars you don't want to guess what it is right now 200 400 You talk about the secondary market? Yeah. Yeah, I don't consider this evidence, but keep going.

Why? Where does he profit off of this? I mean, it's publicity. Only because you're talking about it. It's the resale value. It's $525. That's also how capitalism works. Yeah.

I'm just saying this is going to be. Nothing to do with the- He's making zero additional dollars. Well, every show he has is going to be completely sold. out. You know what? I'm... He's fucking Chris Rock. They were going to be sold out already. Supply and demand. I'm not, I'm not making any more judgments until Joe Rogan weighs in on the situation. Good point. But PFT, part of the reason why I also read it that way is when he deletes the tweet because many people continuously point out that he did nothing when James Franco

hit busy Phillips on the set of his own show. So clearly he views them in two very different ways. In his world, that wasn't as bad as these animalistic thugs on the Oscar stage last night. Like, that's how Apatow things. Okay. All right. I'm willing to hear, I'm willing to hear all evidence in this case. I still think, though, it's 100% real. You'll never convince me unless it's without it now.

Even if the two of them come out and they try to spin it and they're like, yeah, you know, we had talked about doing something like this. I still think, I still think it was real. So if they said it was fake, you'd still be like it's real. I would, if they came out today and they said together, this was fake, unless they had like a video of them planning the shit. Oh, okay. Well, then you just can have a conversation with you. No, I think that. That's, that's one of the more ridiculous things I've ever heard. Because I, because I think that. Because I think that if they said it was real, it would just, or if they said it was fake, it would just clearly be an attempt to try to save face in what was an embarrassing situation for both of them. I think that's, I mean, am I crazy? So then there's literally nothing that could happen that you'd be. Yeah. If they had like evidence of them planning this thing. thing out and being like this. And if you were to plan out a bit like this, you would probably be taping your preparation for this massive prank that you're about to unleash on the world at the

Oscars. They're letting... And there's probably, you know, if there was like a video that came out or any sort of evidence of them planning it out, then yeah, sure, I'd take a look at that. But if it's just like Chris Rock and Will Smith... Why wouldn't they just have done that after the fact? Done what? They're letting us sit. I mean, that could equally be just as likely to try to save face from an embarrassing situation. No, but you could... They're waiting. that you could show, like, leading up to it and having, like, a camera on Will Smith when he's in his seat and be like, I'm about to slap him.

Watch this. When does the news cycle end? It's Monday. When do you think? How long do you think that till they'd be like, oh, it's a bit? They need somebody else to slap someone else. I'd say Wednesday? I think if Zelenskyy slapped Putin in the face,

I think that would probably move the discourse along nicely. Let me tell you. I need a new slap. The winner in this is Vladimir Putin. Yeah, because he, He just has a great. Keep going on big tea. I mean, we have no clue what he did today. Yeah.

Nobody has any idea what's going on over there today. I'm connecting the dots. What does Scientology have to do with Russia? Do they have any connections? No. Who's selling Scientology oil? What you're doing is just you're putting a dot on a piece of paper and hoping that somebody else.

Drawing a line. Hoping somebody else can draw the line for you. I'm just saying we got to look. Who's financing these Scientologist movies, Russian oligar? Oh, speaking of that, Chelsea, what happened to Roman Abramovich today? No. Might have gotten poisoned. Really?

Yeah. Yeah. Who was a bit? He is a Russian oligarch who is selling Chelsea the soccer team because he's had dealings with. We might have to do an episode on him. His story is insane. Like he was poor and now he's like one of the richest guys in the world. He was like dirt poor and he was selling literal.

like rubber ducks and then he like started acquiring land suffer temporary blindness for several hours but is quickly recovered wow you're going to talk about that's probably the worst shit ever temporary temporary blindness that that that's probably what sounds worse what permanent blindness dude my dad not detached is what that's a thing that's a thing at the time you don't know if it's permanent that yeah for sure So you're saying like the ease of mind knowing that it's permanent is better than not knowing if it's permanent? I would think so. You know what I'm saying? Like, well, this is what it is now. But if it's temporary, you be that when is when can I see it? The moment you go blind for the first time

gotta be tough. Tough. That would be tough. Real tough. I've heard stories of guys getting detached retinas and basically you go blind like in one eye or both eyes depending on if you detach both of them and people freak out because they don't know what it is they think they may have a brain tumor because it sets in over time so like you might get hit in the head and then a week later your retina finally detaches and you think like you have a brain tumor you know like it makes a lot of people go nuts until they get checked out yeah it sounds horrifying yeah have you ever have woke up and then the crust is in your eye uh still your eye shut and you can't and you can't open it that's one of the scariest shit's in the world because you think you're blind until you realize

you have fucking toe jam in your face. Well, I started sleeping with a face mask because I couldn't get blinds yet and it was easier just to get a face mask and I woke up a couple of times and I was like, where the fuck am I? I can't see if I had the mask on. Similar

but different. The Browns, if the Browns were a smarter organization, they should have been friends with Will Smith known that this was coming and announced the Watson trade at like 9.30 last night. What trade?

The Deshawn Watson trade. Dr. Touchy. Yeah, Aaron, it's not a great time to be a Browns fan. No. It's a great time. You get the best quarterback in Brown's history. He just might be a bad guy. Yeah, that's tough.

Oh, a female Browns fan. Not a great time. No. So, Coley, my condolences to you on your Celtics. I'm sorry, this is probably a tough day for you. So what happened with you? Coley. defensive player of the air front runner Robert Williams

is pretty much out for the year he tore his meniscus last night in a game we won by a thousand points against the Timberwolves that's not a it's not an out for the season is based on where we're at in the season it's not like you can play on it you can't play on it how about that's what I mean he's too young like you can't do that to him what if maybe that's what happened to me what if they say

he can come back for the finals that's what i mean are there's two types of meniscus uh surgeries there's one where you can come back within like a couple weeks and then there's one where you're out for like a month and a half or even longer it's like two or two two too too too much yeah there's those two different ones i've seen six weeks to three months is like the realistic range yeah so it's either because they either cut out the piece or it's it's irreparable or and that's the one you come from the quickest or they repair it and the repair is the longest because you have to stay on but the quickest also seems like that's probably detrimental long term yeah i must fuck monday's up for sure yeah i don't

like as as as selfish as i want to be and like get him back out there like he he needs to take a a seat and be in like whatever is the best course of action not necessarily the fastest is what i want which is brutal because like even with pft saying like yeah he could be realistically right for the Eastern Conference finals, which would be sick. Our team is based off of those five people playing as an amoeba and having this switch everything defense. Without him out there, like he's been the anchor to it all year. I don't, Marcus Smart's great.

Everyone else we have is tremendous. And I believe we're still a good team. I think if this hadn't happened, I genuinely think we were going to do like a 16 and 3 run to the final. truly just dust teams. I haven't even been watching it. My Lakers so bad, I haven't even been watching. You talk about scandals.

You want to talk scandals. The Los Angeles, Lakers, the plurable, Aryan. The plurable. I mean, I'm with you. Pray for LeBron. He's got not, his ankle is basically no more. He was, he's walking around on a bloody stump. He's sprained it in the first quarter.

And to LeBron's credit, it looked like it was not a minor role. The thing went almost all the way over. But then he played for the rest of the game on it. And then afterwards, after they blew, what, was it a 23-point lead in the fourth quarter? After the game, he was like, yeah, it's extremely serious, my ankle injury. So he's- He's going to sit down the rest of the year because he's playing this well at age 37. Like, you can give us a good year at 38 and we make some front office changes. We have an opportunity next year.

What front office change? Like fire himself as GM? That's the front office change. LeBron, the player is excellent. Like for his age and for how long he's been doing it, especially when you do like the Kobe math and figure out, okay, how many playoffs has he gone and how many extra seasons of wearing terror is that on his body?

He's playing outstanding for his age. Like incredible. It's unbelievable what he's doing. But also he stinks as a GM. Absolutely stinks. I think everybody thought when they got Westbrook, this is a bad move. The only silver lining for Westbrook

is now this season he can blame on having Russell Westbrook on his team. Because I love Westbrook. It's just, I just wish him so much prosperity. Is it better for LeBron to make the, they're 31 and 43 in the 10 spot, is it better for him to make the playoffs, in air quotes, at 34 and 48 and then lose in that or miss it entirely.

If he loses in the play-in game, that would be bad. I would rather, like, if you're LeBron, you'd probably not even make the playoffs. But how close is 11? I feel like he's kind of... A game behind. 10?

10 what? They are 10th right now. 11th is San Antonio a game behind them. Oh, okay. San Antonio is right there. All right. For summary, and then what? Because Portland's way down. Portland, they're four behind.

So they're out, probably. I thought they were waiting. How many games have in a season? Seven or eight for most teams. I would rather, if I was LeBron, I would, I would rather miss the playoffs entirely than make the play in game and lose that. I mean, there are some Lakers fans, not all, some, who are like really itching for a rematch with the sons. They're like, all you got to do is get in. in with this talent.

Just got to get in. Hell, no. We got LeBron. We got a D. Russ. He just got to get there. You just got to get in. I actually think that the Nuggets.

If Russ takes this summer and just works on mid-range and just mid-ranged, I have ultimate faith in my guy. I don't care. He works at his mid-range jump shot. He just does it in games. I don't think. He's, he's like, he's, he's like, he's. He's basically doing shoot-arounds by himself, and he's been doing it, and I don't think

it's getting any better. And don't keep it out. Aaron, I agree with you that when he's playing well, he's one of my favorite players to watch. He's just, when he plays with that mean streak, and he's just so much quicker, stronger, explosive, that's fun, Russ, to watch. But it's not fun when he's just hitting the back of the backboard somehow. Disagre.

That's what I'm saying. I'm excuse the Celtics fan But that's what I'm saying is like To watch like Obviously one of the greatest athletes that we've seen Right Pure is like one of the greatest pure athletes We've ever seen play this game

Just Erode into this non-skilled Basketball player It's hard to watch Because how you go from like You know maybe the Maybe the last two were a little inflated but like the he really broke a average of triple double in a year that's crazy and then just it's

just hard to watch it's hard to what because i got so much love from my guy you know what i know he cares about his crap so it's just hard to it's hard to watch it's hard to watch i just my favorite thing is like he's like all right i know i don't have this shot but i mean tim duncan used the backboard his whole career how hard could it be and he's finding out it's very hard all right man glass. I think he'd honestly he'd be more accurate if he just tried to not shoot bank shots every time. Like, I don't understand why he thinks

that's the shot for him. I don't know if he's intentionally doing that, though. That's the thing. It's disrespectful. Well, you can't be sure. You can't be sure sometimes. I just... About the exit the conversation. I'm just saying, I think that the nuggets

have a chance. It's all... I put in a future on them before the All-Star Brits? Yeah. And basically, Basically, my entire future is just banking on Jamal Murray and Michael Porter, Jr. coming back. And they've been, like, close to coming back for the last two months. I just, I don't know if it's going to have. I'm starting to accept the fact that I took a chance, and it was a smart chance, I think, based on the information I had at the time, but it's looking more and more likely that

they're just going to, this entire season's being written off for the Nuggets. Yeah, it's tough. They try hard. They just, they don't have the bodies. they really don't. Hey, yo, where are we at with the bracket? How you know who won? Clearly all our brackets are in shambles, right? I think Madeline is the only one with a team left? No, no. I think at least her national champion left. Hang on. I think I think I had

UNC in the final four if I'm not mistaken. I believe you did. So yeah, you're in first right now, but you have Gonzaga winning the title. I can't wait for my canvas bottles too. You did have North Carolina and Kansas, but neither up getting to the national title so your your points are done for five six bottles of camis i love it madeline madeline's my max points is way bigger in i think oh damn what was it what's your what's your bottle of choice mad dog i don't know i'm gonna i like i don't really i'm not like a connoisseur of wine i just kind of like by arbor mist what do you drink what do you if it's arbor miss if it's a pack of whatever your mom had us buying at the bar like whatever

what's arbor missed It's a bunch of people used to drink in college. Yeah, that sounds like our high school or college. Sunset blush. We drank like barefoot. Okay. But when I go to restaurants and I order wine, I just simply just get the cheapest glass there. No, it doesn't have to be wine.

It's just your bottle of your bottle of whatever you like to drink. So if it's a pack of barefoot or whatever, then it's a pack of barefoot. I'll have to think about it. I really didn't think I was going to do well in this. My bracket fell apart. So it basically comes down to, if Kansas beats Villanova on Saturday, she wins. If Villanova beats them, you win. Oh, shit.

Mad, dog. What a fucking, let's, we'll FaceTime each other during the fourth quarter. Yeah, me and you. Let's do it. I'm so sad. I was in the lead for so long. I know. I had a pretty good first two days, and it was nice, but then I watched one game, and all my picks were on 2000s college football.

teams that's not my question so you didn't see san peter's coming no i didn't see c peter's coming i didn't know where the fuck it was from neither did i no one did so hold on when is that when is the game for the for the bottle championship saturday well it's yeah it's the game is saturday the final four saturday that would determine a winner all right me and you mad dog you guys nervous i didn't think i would when i made this bracket i didn't think i would be at this point so I said what about the final four? No, no, no, no. Like, I didn't think I would be in the lead with you, with you group.

No, no, I was, that's a little, did he ask if we were nervous about the final four? Oh, yeah. Some people, some people get scared about that stuff. I'm trembling. I'm so nervous. Speaking of fears. Well, yeah, before we get to fears, I want to talk to you guys about credit karma. If you're paying down old credit card debt, a personal loan could be your solution. Loans usually come with fixed monthly payments, making them a simple way to help pay off your credit cards.

Plus, loans usually have lower interest rates than credit cards do, and credit karma can help you find the best option for you. Credit Karma uses your credit data to find loan offers that are personalized to you so you can have a better idea of what loan amount you can get approved for. Credit karma will even show your chances of approval so you can choose between loan offers that you're more likely to get approved for and apply with more confidence. Comparing loan offers on credit karma is 100% free. It will not affect your credit scores, and it could save you money. Karma, you can apply with more confidence today, and you're going to get personalized offers when you go to credit karma.com slash loan offers. That's credit karma.com slash loan offers. All right, phobias, fears. Let's talk about them. Let's talk about them a little bit. And this came to light a little bit

last week. I experienced some light trauma. I ended up confronting one of my own fears. face on for the most part actually it was kind of like I ran away from it and hidden corner but yeah let's talk about that I don't I don't we don't claim you as someone who's afraid of heights okay wait what's going on now because like I just I feel like I exposed a part of myself to the world and now I'm getting shamed from the community that should be supporting me right now Coley as as a vertigo sufferer I went to the top of the Empire State building I had no idea that I was going to be up there we were doing an ad read for part of my take for game time.

What do you mean you didn't know you were going to be up there? Okay, so here's what happened. Do you think he's a fraud? They snuck you on the elevator? Like, well, I'll tell you exactly. I'm going to get that vibe a little too, Coole. I'll tell you exactly what happened in this circumstance, which is we had an idea that we were going to do to announce our big partnership with game time because they're a new ticket

sponsor for part of my take. And the plan originally was we were going to be courtside at a Nets game. and we were going to do some videos there that sounds awesome I was all in for that and then it turns out that we had to go on a big trip spend a lot of time out of the office we wanted to get it done so we wouldn't have to spend another late

night out doing work related things so we decided at the last minute without my knowledge this was Hank this is upstairs corporate Hank that came down and issued one of his dictator like decrees upon us that we had to bend the knee and kiss his ring and follow

where the ad deal was going to to be we were going to announce it they wanted it somewhere outside of the office so that it looked different and again i was not part of any of these conversations so hank told us uh i believe two days before just so you guys know on monday morning we're going to meet at the empire state building to announce the new deal with game time so i'm like sure whatever i thought that we would be going into the empire state building getting in an elevator going to i mean every tall building has the observation lounge where they take you up your indoors you look outside i don't love those i've done it before at the willis tower in chicago and that terrified me being up there but i was able to

like walk around like a semi-normal person i felt a little bit of dizziness and felt extreme anxiety and fear when i would get close to the edge and i even i tried to step on the glass box thing and I was terrified. I had my hands around the corner holding on to the inside wall as I was doing it while little children were dancing around me on the plastic thing. But I can handle a situation like that. I felt like I'd be fine with that. So we get into an elevator. We go up with Tyler O'Day. We get off the elevator. Then we go into a different elevator. We keep going up. And I'm like, okay. Then we get off that elevator and we walk into some sort of a maintenance staircase. and we start going up and then at that point I'm like what's where are we going here what's going on

then he opens a door for us we walk outside and at that point I'm like uh maybe this will be like a giant deck with high walls and I don't know what we're looking at here but this I'm starting to feel uncomfortable and then he's walking us through this area outside that is very much still under construction there's like netting there's all sorts of like pipe and plywood and platforms and things like that. And I'm in the front and he's telling me where to go. And he says, go over there to that ladder. And then I walk to the ladder and I turn around, I'm like, are we serious, right?

Is this where I'm supposed to walk up this thing? And it was like, it wasn't, you know, a vertical ladder, but it was like this yellow steel thing that I had to climb up to get to the, to the platform. And then I just started to panic. And then everybody else was like, what's going on was PFT? being a bitch right now. And it's because I have this fear of heights and I got up there and I was just panicking the entire time. I stood as close to the wall as possible. I faced the wall. I could not look out over it because I get this almost crippling anxiety that kind of takes over my

entire body. And as I'm looking against this wall, I'm trying to look anywhere but down. And I looked up. And the only thing above us at that point was the giant antenna at the top of the Empire Stap building. I looked up. That made me feel worse. Way worse. so much worse and so then i'm like standing in the corner like shaking my hands are sweating my hands are sweating right now just talking about it and uh yeah so that that video came out and then on friday everybody just kept tweeting pictures of high places to me and that's suck too having to look at all that and so yes coli it's it's a real it's a real phobia that i have i've just managed to keep it we haven't done anything in like a high location i know that as

somebody that suffers from vertigo, or I don't know what the correct terminology. You, you deal with vertigo. I know, I can understand how like me being very afraid of heights and having my physical reaction pales in comparison to a person who literally can't look at the sky. So I get that. I didn't. I, like, respect if you, like, that you are that nerve. Like, I'm in Maine currently sweating at what you just described.

I, there's no, I don't know how much, I love game time, great app. I don't know how much they're giving you personally, not enough to get you up there in that situation. That's chaos. I would have said no to it if I had known that's what the plan was. Make no mistake about Hank kept this from me. And to Hank's credit, he did not know that I was afraid of heights. Actually, if Hank had known that I had this condition, he probably would have sent me to a higher,

more precarious platform just to put me in a more uncomfortable position. just to get more content out of it. But no, this is not like a content thing where if Hank, I didn't think that. If Hank comes to me and he's like, okay, everybody loved how scared you got. So we're going to really lean into this and get more views by putting you in worse situations. I'm out. I'm out.

Like I will quit. I will quit my job. Somebody said, how much would it take for you to go skydiving? I will quit my job if it involves an ad deal where I have to go skydiving. Nope. Sorry. Not getting in that plane. not jumping out of an airplane, no thank you.

That's the end of the line for old PFT. One of the reasons I knew I was never going to get drafted into the NBA was when they make all the lottery picks go up there and take a picture like that. And everyone's just fine with it. I think it's insane how fine people are on the top of tall bill. Like insane. Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy.

I don't even like watching movies. I remember when I watched Man on Wire. That was maybe the first. first time that watching a movie made me feel physical pain. And I still remember to this day, like the bottom of my feet were hurting. I was having all these like psychosomatic reactions to it where I watched the entire thing and I didn't enjoy a single minute of it. And it was just, it's terrifying from ever. I remember watching when that psycho walked across the Grand Canyon, the Willinda guy. And that to me, I'm like panicked watching that. I watch Free Solo, the movie about

the guy that climbed El Capitan, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Without any harnesses. That was a brutal experience for me as well, but it's still fascinating. But, no, I can handle it if I'm indoors, if there's like a roof over my head and there's, like, glass walls. I can deal with that. It's not, it's not the most pleasant experience for me.

But outdoors, open roof, windy day, up at that extreme level, on a platform that is closed to the public where it's, it wasn't. wasn't like wobbly, but it was definitely not like a, uh, structure that was approved for, uh, for just anybody to go out and stand on. That was, that was very scary for me. So, Coley, respectfully, fuck you if you think that. So, so shit. No, I mean, you were clearly terrified in the video and I'm, I'm just giving you shit like, because my, me mentally, it's like, you couldn't have got me on the first elevator, let alone the second one. Like, obviously mine's way more extreme but like once that second elevator shows up i'm like unless this is the down the accelerated down elevator i'm all set like that's not that's not for me like that's

genuine like and you can hear the wind in the video like for me it's not the the height is like and probably you probably agree with this like i'm not afraid of the height as much as i am the fall yeah coley not to piggyback on you guys but i'm also terrified of heights And for me, for sure not. No, dude, for me, it's like being next to, like, the barrier. For some reason, they all feel too low and that I'm going to topple over it. And that's what gets me like malls. Like, I hate going on fucking escalators in malls, especially the ones that like,

there's like two escalators above each other. And like there is a place you could possibly fall. Like, just that freaks me out. I mean, I just love how you pronounce esculators. escalator escalator. I was going to say anything. No, it's great. It's endearing. Yeah, I know that feeling, like,

I think my brother wrote a short story like 10 years ago or something like that when he was talking about being next to edges and stuff, and he was saying that people are afraid of heights. It's not because they're afraid that they're going to fall, it's that they're afraid they're going to jump over it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and it, like, I understand the sentiment behind that.

Just all the chaos happens to me at one. inside my own brain where I just imagine every possible worst case scenario if I'm up there and that terrifies me that like just I get into a zone in my head where I'm just I can't stop thinking about all the worst things that could happen to me like somebody could like joke push me and then I lose my balance and then I fall accidentally tripping over the edge just like having something take over my body I just run off the like all these things occur to me and I can't stop thinking about them when I'm in that situation. Do you, when you're on the subway, do you like stand against the back wall? I stand away from the trains, but I feel like that's a

somewhat of a justified fear. Or like when you're, yeah, no, I don't want to be. You're way safer at the top of the Empire State Building than you aren't a subway station in the city by exponential magnitude. For sure or not. Now, a little background, the fear of heights is called acrophobia. Okay. You can hear that root word, acro, it's from acrobatts, but it's probably from acro. which I think it means, I want to say sky. Sky. I'm afraid of the sky. I got to check that out.

So, Billy, as somebody who claims to be afraid of heights, how do you do with airplanes? You like airplanes? Airplanes I'm fine with. Airplanes I'm fine with. It's more. Then you're not a real, you're not a real hide sky. Well, the thing is it's because I, like, looking out the plane, it doesn't even feel real. It feels like I'm in a subway, in the same kind of way.

So, I'm- Accro, the root word is Greek, meaning. and high. Ah, nice. I'm, uh, I'm fine with plans for the most part. I used to be a little bit afraid of flying when I'd like feel something in the plane or look outside to get a little bit afraid of it. But sometimes I'm kind of weird like this. If I have something that I'm genuinely afraid of, like I used to be afraid of bees when

I was a kid and, uh, I, I learned so much about that thing that I sometimes am able to overcome my fear of it. So like, I learned a shitload about bees. I was fascinated. with bees because I was afraid of it for a long time. And then I'm no longer afraid of bees, really. With planes and flying and all that, I got really into learning about different kinds of planes

and aviation and playing like flight simulators and stuff. And I'm okay on planes now because I think that I've learned enough about it. But you can't learn enough of it. The more you learn about heights, the more scared you get. It's like, you know, at the top of the bird's caliphate, it actually sways back and forth 45,

yards a day in the wind it's designed to absorb those types of forces and i'm like nope well you're just giving me more reasons to not go well there's actually science behind that for a lot of people with phobias who have these panic and fear rapid heartbeat shortness of breath trembling a strong desire to get away the solution is exposure therapy and you do that with stuff like and this happens a lot with people um with oCD they describe oCD as like the irrational fear uh mental where it's like if you get exposed to heights or stuff that other types of phobias, say it's spiders, say it's snakes, they do progressive exposure therapy to get you over these fears. So, for example, they might just start by making you watch videos of spiders. And then maybe you'll get to the point where they're having toy spiders.

And then you're going to get to the point in the therapy if it's like this is, arachnophobia isn't a serious therapy, but they use arachnophobia to try to figure out. other phobias, but then they'll have you handling a tarantula by the end of it and you'll have people freaking out. And like for people with like, uh, cleanliness OCD where like they wash their hands a thousand times and they're super obsessive about cleanliness and the fear of germs and dirt and dirt and whatnot, they'll have like people eating off the floor by the end to try to get them over this fear of hypothetically like picking up a disease from food being, you know, off the floor i don't know if that would work on me though for just like sending me up to high places so coley is your vertigo is that something that is a physical condition or is it a mental

thing that manifests itself in physical ways like all the uh like rapid heartbeat things like that so my vertigo it seemed to have quelled like it it was definitely um caused by a concussion like a bad concussion from a car accident I was in because it was I was fine with flying I was like my fear of heights is not necessarily tied to the vertigo I had like my fear of heights has been forever and it's really less my fear of heights

as I like keep growing and thinking as it is my fear of dying in a completely avoidable fashion like that's really what my fear is like you like you say you won't jump out of a plane Like, yeah, because if I'm the dickhead whose parachute doesn't open, that's like, that was my fault. Like, I could have just been on the ground like I am every day and I would have been okay. I know I'm going to die. I don't necessarily have a fear of death.

I do have a fear of cutting my life shorter in a way that was wildly avoidable. So, like, being on the top of a tall building that sways 45 yards every day feels avoidable to me. I don't know about the rest of everyone, but, like, I feel like I can avoid that. um the vertigo caught me really by surprise because like after i got in that accident i got checked out and everything and i don't know if it was the adrenaline or what but like i was cleared so i was okay but like i definitely didn't feel okay like my head felt concussed for a while and i remember i just flew like i had flown before like it wasn't a new experience to me i had flown and didn't love it, but it was one of those things where it's like, it's just out of my hands. Like,

there's nothing I can do about it. Like, I, I prefer to be in control. Like, I prefer to drive from the car with people. I'm not a great passenger. Like, I, I would prefer it to be in my hands. I don't know how to fly a plane. And the people who do are extremely proficient in it. Like, they, I heard Bill Burr talk about it once. He was like, most pilots are former military pilots. And this would be like you driving a bus like very easy like just there's nothing to them so it's like pretty comforting to think of it that way you start thinking of statistics you're more likely to get an accident on the way to the airport than than in the plane itself like yeah it's it's it's plane crashes there's nothing you can do like it won't be painful you're out of here it sucks but

it's you don't know it won't be painful you don't know it won't be painful i assume it won't be You're right. I assume it won't be painful when you instantly incinerate. It would be extremely painful for two seconds. I don't even know if it's that long, but if it is like, yeah, it will be over. You'd probably pass out before you even hit that. True. You're probably not conscious upon impact. If you're afraid of hikes, but if you're not, it's a really fun ride until you.

Well, I like hands up. Hands there, by the way. You know, some bitch. Put your hands up. I'm not afraid of flying at all, but I saw a tweet the other day that was, I pulled it up. It says, nervous of flying, don't be. As long as the two million parts in the plane work perfectly while traveling at close to the speed of sound, is sharp metal blades rotate at supersonic speeds and temperatures of negative 65 degrees,

seven miles above the earth's surface. You're perfectly fine. And I was like, you know what? Yeah. Now we're afraid of flying. Yep. That's why I say trains are superior form of transportation. Agreed.

Back wire, bro. Agreed. So smooth. smooth ride you're going like 40 miles an hour or some shit like you can't go up bad but to answer your actual question yes i do all the sensations you were describing pft all the like you truly feel like you no longer have control of your own person like like i don't want to jump off this building but i have this insatiable desire out of nowhere to give it a try like it's it's it really is is a fucking mental.

So I kind of get what Billy's saying with the exposure. Like I could see you eventually getting over that. But again, I won't be me who finds out. Well, so for, for me, it's like I, I start thinking about all these bad things that could happen to me up there. And it's, for me, I think it's the fact that I think, what if I did get the, like, I don't have the urge to do it, but I start thinking about what if I did get that urge? and then I just like that's like just one example of all the you know the bad things that go to them like obviously I don't think that big cat's going to come over to me and like shove me in my shoulder and then I'll fall but what if you did what I don't feel like jumping off this edge right now but but what if randomly I happen to get this weird instinct to do it I don't know just it's or you trip all right trip yeah all this stuff arian are you afraid of heights at all not not really um

What are you afraid there's there's there's actually interesting enough there's actually points in time in a plane where I make peace that we're gonna die okay and I just really be cool what I was like it is what it is I have had a good bun done that a couple times but what I'm actually afraid of where I'm like yo no keep it away for me snakes can't do it there's no conversion therapy i don't want rubber shits around me i don't want nothing it's not you're not getting me around snakes though you could no you could get over it with no lots of don't want to don't want to billy billy it takes as a personal challenge to him because now if you bring us now you're

disinrected as an amphibians bring a snake around me billy i'm will smithing you no it's actually really so it's actually really interesting how um a lot of our phobias are actually you can pass down phobias and there's much there's a lot of evidence to being like phobias being inheritable traits. I said no snake signs and it sounds like you have a great one to pass down if you have a pet snake you have a serious problem. Yeah. Okay someone who's owned a snake it's not that weird. No, it's very weird. No it's not because they're like living jewels. They're like a little like if you want or not that's what did you just call a snake a living there's dude there's serpents and would eat you if they could figure out how

to swallow you. Yes, they would. That's wrong with pet owners in general are just weird, man. Billy's not making a great case for for not being afraid. He's like, no, it's like if your jewelry could breathe. Yeah, that's normal. I've always wondered that. Okay, some people buy jewelry, they went really

pretty, but what if it had a heart? But if you like had pretty chains, but there's like a beautiful like, if you look up some of the corn snake color morphs, they're actually super like very interesting, like different designs and stuff. And some of them go for like multi thousand dollars like there's some serious collectors out there anyway um a lot of phobias are inheritable so some people think that within like evolution within certain groups

for example the the phobia of heights gets passed down because people who are scared of heights were less likely to go around you know cliffs and dangerous places they could fall off and that trait served them well in that the people who were scared of heights didn't fall off the cliff and didn't get insane with snakes. Absolutely. It's also why we like dark caves, like just dark where you're afraid of the dark or we're just weary about it

is because you're less likely to get attacked by something by a tiger. It's not dark, by dark and dreary place. So it's like developing that evolutionarily makes sense. But sort of staying away from snakes. So fuck them shits. I'm not going anywhere around them shits. I don't fuck if it's non-poisonous.

Your cousin is. I'm not fucking with you. Did you ever have a like a, teammate that got into collecting snakes or anything? Nope. I feel like I've seen a lot of professional athletes that get in. Maybe that's just Gilbert Arenas. Oh, Dwight Howard, Dwight Howard has some serious boas.

He's got like 20 snakes. He knew that shit in the locker room. I'd have been like, bro. Get that shit to fuck out. No, but Big T, you're afraid of snakes. Hate snakes. What does that go back? Is that Old Testament shit?

Is that most people look? I'm just, I'm not down with snakes. Yeah. They're terrible. My mom, though, you talked about asking shit, no? I would just say, I would argue that the snake in the Old Testament was actually enlightening. Ooh, I don't think he was, I don't think the snake was a bad guy. I think the exact opposite actually.

Well, then why do you hate it? Explain God's the bad guy. Huh? Then why do you hate snakes? You might be a genetic cause they bite. Why do you mean? Well, that's a story. That's a made up story.

Yeah, but I mean, it's symbolic. You hate, you might, you inherently hate snakes. Yes. so maybe there's some truth to the snake in the garden if it's inherent and that was eve's fault eve was one of i'm i'm saying that the snake was the good guy in the bible but you don't you don't truly believe snakes are good no i think they're exactly so he was an outlier uh but no but like that's that's one of those things like in all primates hate snakes like it's like proven that um they did experiments in on multiple different uh rodents uh rats monkeys cappucc monkeys and great apes

and like all hate snakes and it's all genetic do you think that in if if technology were to freeze where it is right now in 500 years a thousand years 2,000 years people would be more afraid of guns because you're more likely to die if you're a person that is attracted to guns more likely to die than the 100% you're likely to die right now

no I mean like die early die younger before passing along your jeans what's gonna be the new thing that's gonna where does that come from I want to area and fact check you on that okay I feel like there's a lot of studies that if you have or we can talk about a gun in the house

Yeah, more people are more likely to shoot someone else in their own home. Someone else in their own home. Or if you'd like to switch it up, we can change it to, like, having a swimming pool in your backyard. Because that's more dangerous, I think, statistically. So, like, do you think that people are going to be more afraid of swimming pools? But that was my argument. Remember I made this heart wrenching shit, by the way. Like, if you have kids and you have a swimming pool dog, like, if you see the door open and you know that they're by and you just haven't been or something.

Like, it's just one of the, your heart drop. It's just, oh, my God. It's not, that's anxiety, Doug. Holy shit. I would also argue people should be more afraid of guns than snakes like now. No. Definitely. I'm shocked he said no, but I agree with you.

No, guns don't bite. Way worse. I would argue they do way worse. Well, they don't do anything on their own. That's dumb humans. That's true, actually. Not more than snakes, though. Listen, you're not accidental, accidental discharge gun deaths versus snake bite deaths.

Let's check it out. I'm curious about that. I actually don't know that I'd be on your side on that, but also accidental discharge is not the gun doing it by itself. I still remember when I was like five years old and I found my grandfather's rifle in his closet. And he just like had it just like with the butt hanging out of it. Very bad, very bad gun protection on his part. And I was afraid of the gun. And so I stayed away from it.

Whereas if I was, if I was more inquisitive into firearms, maybe I would have played with it. Who knows? And you cannot also assume every single person holding or operating a gun is the same intent, is the same level of expert, knows where the safety is or that it exists. Like that, that's a, just like you can't assume every snake is venomous. are we counting are we counting suicide by gun deaths yeah i mean that that counts because then it blows that because then it blows away if you're afraid of accidental discharge if you're afraid of guns

then you're probably less likely to purchase a firearm and use it for suicide but i was thinking remember we had this conversation i was thinking the exact same thing when it came to drugs because one of the biggest things that kill people before reproducing in this day and age is uh opioids and overdoses. So yeah, if you're afraid, scared of drugs. You're afraid of pills, afraid of doctors. So what they've found, what they've actually been studying is that, um, that they think that many fears a parent may experience will be passed down to children given that we know that a lot of phobias are epigenic, meaning that if you have an experience, your children might then be born with a fear. Yeah. So that's interesting because my mom is very afraid of heights too. Yeah.

And I remember I used to like go to amusement parks with her back in the day and we would get on some of the rides that would like bounce you up super high. And I remember one time she just like had an utter panic attack on one of these things. And I thought it was funny. I was like laughing. I think that I used to enjoy heights because I remember I went to Ireland when I was 17 years old. And we went to the cliffs of more. And there are these giant cliffs with a sheer drop off. Very cool, beautiful place.

And there's a place where you can get down. and you can walk almost right up to the edge and look over and see the big drop down. And so I was on like my stomach. They tell you to crawl when you get close to it so that way there's no danger of you losing your balance and falling over. And I was like looking over the edge

when I was 17 years old. And I was fine with it at the point. And I was okay with heights until that was really the last time I remember being fine with heights. And I kind of grew into it as I got older. and I wonder if that's something that is naturally occurring because now it's like I can't I would never do anything like that I panic thinking about doing something like that

well a lot of fear comes from the amygdala so fear is uh fight or flight the amygdala plays a huge role in whether you're going to you're exuding adrenaline but is it fearful or are you fighting that really comes from the amygdala so maybe basically your brain developed and that fear part kicked in. Yeah. I mean, I do enjoy myself.

I do like cliff jumping, but part of that rush, I feel is for me being scared of heights. So I get more of a rush. It's like a natural, you have like a mild fear, but it's one that you can get over. Yeah.

I do think that having a fear of heights is probably, if you're going to be afraid of something, being afraid of falling off a giant structure is probably pretty healthy. The thing is when you have a phobia, you're more likely to have more than one phobia because you're just more of a conservative fearful person and for me yeah one of my oh fuck with any animals one of my my big phobia and i passed out one day in

high school during a lethal injection presentation i have a serious fear of needles like back when i was it was worse when i was younger but when i was a baby basically i had some sort of infection on my foot when I started walking so they had to take a shit ton of blood and like they're taking blood from a little baby like that's never going to work out because of the needles and shit and ever since then like when I was getting shots when I was little I hated getting shots like I'd freak out flip out in the doctor's office like full blown like tantrums because I was so terrified of getting shot that's why you won't get the facts well I did get fax I got over it but I still I still pass out when I'm giving blood and that I was trying to

get over that fear a couple summers ago and couldn't really get through it. I'm more interested in something else you said. Can you explain to me what a lethal injection presentation is? Yeah, that was. Oh, so no, it was it was in it was in a government a government class and it was basically describing like the legality of the lethal injection whether it should be legal in various states and part of it had a full on presentation about how I mean I I I I think that if we're, if we're, if we're, If we're going to be sensing people to lethal injection, we should all watch the videos because that's our money.

That's what we're doing. Basically what happened is it took this one guy like 16. They kept having to shoot him up. They kept having to get on injections because he wouldn't die. Oh, and it was just the worst. You know, South Carolina is doing something about that because a lot of companies have stopped making the drugs. Are they bringing back firing squad? Yeah.

So there's been some controversy. recently that lethal injection is only, it's less unpleasant for people watching it happen and it seems more sanitized. But for the people that are experiencing it, sometimes it can be excruciating pain. Yeah. Because your body becomes paralyzed as it shuts down and according to a lot of different studies that have been done and observations. And they like monitor the heart rates and stuff. I'm like it shot. They experienced some like severe pain. So South Carolina in response to some of these companies stopping the exportation of the drugs that kill you, South Carolina is bringing back firing squads where there's actually never been in the history

of the United States a botched firing squad execution. So I think there's four people that are going to be behind this wall. And then there's like a little rectangular opening for the guns to poke out and they put a little target on the chest. Well, one of them's got a blanket in it. No, no Isn't that how it works? No, that's what that trigger They're not doing that Yeah, I thought it used to be

It was like all of them were blank except one No, they're not doing that One had a blank so you didn't know But they're not doing that now They just get robots to do it like what Well then Or just stop fucking killing people Yeah

Tell that to the people who are killing people To get on death row Well I'm personally So you kill people to show people That killing people is wrong That's fucking stupid Yeah, it hasn't quite worked You know what

I'm not getting to debate I'm not here to Let's talk about phobias. Well, no. Let's have this conversation. Capital punishment is a pretty interesting conversation to have. We're like one of just a handful of countries and still doesn't. And if you look at the other countries, pull up the list.

Can somebody pull up the list? Yeah, I think it's like China, North Korea. Somebody pull up the list of countries. Cuba. I'm going to be honest. Billy always thinks he has the list off the top of the second. No matter what the fuck the list is. I'm pretty sure.

I think it's China, North Korea. I hope you're right. I hope you're right. All right. Mad Dog's got it. There's 55 countries that still use capital punishment. Oh, we're in good company. No.

Those first three you listed generally not ones you want to be on a list with. These include Bangladesh, China, Egypt, Ethiopia, India, Indonesia, Iran, Japan, Nigeria, Saudi Arabia, South Korea, Sri Lanka, Taiwan, and the United States. I got my list mixed up. The list I just gave was in the list. of countries that ban boxing. Oh, yeah. Cuba, yeah, there's Cuban class. Capital punishment and boxing.

Oh, I love this guy. But as far as capital punishment. No, no, because I remember, wait. He's just got late. He just accessed the wrong file in his head. Yeah, it happens. He's labeled it. But as far as capital punishment, it's, yeah, you could be like,

yeah, it's stupid to kill somebody to show that killing people's wrong. I also understand why people would, like, have a real thirst for vengeance if one of their family members. had something that happened to them and you'd want to see that person dead. I understand that completely. The issue is if you kill somebody that's innocent, then literally everybody in the country that pays taxes is a murder. Like you, I don't think there's anything worse.

That's happened already now. Yeah, it's definitely happened. I don't think that there's anything worse than like us killing somebody for no reason, like an innocent person. And to me, that risk is like it's way too high. The disconnect for me is you'll find some, like liberal to progressive people who are for it you know i think it's rare in those circles but the people that are for capital punishment are the most anti-government overreach and that is

the biggest form of government overreach you can have is taking life from you i think you're making sweeping generalizations but go on that is not a generalization you what what what side of the aisle you think is a more pro capital punishment i don't know i haven't asked dude the thing is it's it's Absolutely. It's absolutely the right. The best argument against capital punishment is that it costs way more to get someone executed from a legal standpoint than it does to just keep them in prison until they die. Because if they're if they're dealing capital punishment, it's not just the special facilities they have to use. And the act of doing it. It's also all the appeals that you have to. Because everyone's going to appeal as much as they can. Because it's literally their life.

Yeah. I mean, to me, I, okay, let's see. 80% of Republicans feel that it's morally justified 50% of Democrats feel that it's morally justified And I don't know I just I feel like The danger of killing somebody

That's completely innocent That's like imagine how fucked up That would be if you're in that person's shoes That's different though than like being for it But come on like think about it big T Let's say you know You're at a cafe and the guy in a mouse suit Like really starts bothering you the wrong way

And then all of a sudden just like you you leave it alone but then he ends up dead and then all of a sudden everyone's pointing at you that you like beat up the guy in the chipmunk costume and he died and then you're in jail where you were going with that but like think about it you know Scott Peterson what about no no no I messing around at the costume he was just going fishing and Scott Peterson was just going fishing in the marina and then chip and Dale end up dead what's what's your point I mean, the point is, there are people who have been convicted of crimes that they have been innocent of and have been executed by the state. Correct. I think y'all are like ascribing to me that I'm pro death penalty when I've never said that, which I find very interesting.

Are you, are you anti? You are very choice on whether or not it gets ascribed to a certain party or not. Yeah, no, I, I'm anti the death penalty. Okay. I, hey, that's the libertarian big T I. It's, it's like, I think it's like, four. percent of people on death row like might be innocent that's a lot yeah that's a lot that's a lot that's enough to stop this shit it's enough to stop the shit and even if and like when you said it's morally justified that i think that's a far more interesting question than like like i don't really think it is that's just my i i lean towards that also but i also see the argument for it but in practice i am against it because there have been people who were on death row who were proven to be innocent which is crazy he

So that's why I just wanted to say Like y'all I think a lot of times are very Towards me particularly But toward an entire swath of people generally Are very That's that's backed by data though Big T that that the right is more poor Pro but I think y'all do it a lot

No honestly big T this happens to me a lot It's usually but it's usually database Like I don't make sweeping generations that I haven't actually looked up before Like that's database Libertarians are supposed to be anti capital punishment which why that aligns with your worldview like it as a libertarian worldview that should be your stand also also also pro choice libertarians and right lending people should be pro choices I want the government involved in as little

shit as humanly possible but libertarians also like they want the freedom to like be the judge during executioner on their land well I I understand why somebody would if somebody came onto your property or whatever and like killed a family member i would understand the urge to go hunt that person down and kill them yourself i get that like a thousand a thousand yeah to me that makes sense it's just when you get when you get the government and the justice system involved you're going to have yeah and sure like if you look at john wayne gasey or some of the like real all-time threats to society and sickos i understand how like like that's where it's like if somebody were to ask you like oh so you think that john wayne gasey should have

been kept alive. It's like, well, no, I don't, I don't approve of anything John Wayne Gacy did, but if you look at it as a massive system that's going to have some problems with it and there are going to be people that are killed that are completely innocent, then, yeah, let's just keep the real bad guys in jail locked up so they can't hurt anybody else. Also, who are you to decide whether or not John Wayne Gacy deserves to ever die? Right. Exactly. Yeah, he's another human being and he's a bad, bad person, but like, I don't think that it should be, if you put them in a system where there's going to be some like inaccuracies and some room for error, I don't think it's good to have an entire country where everybody is put in that system and there are certain to be innocent people

that die. And also, I don't, I don't really buy the whole deterrent part of it. I don't know if the death penalty is a deterrent at all. Last I checked, it wasn't. It was like it has no impact. They're still murdering people. It has no impact on murderings. So really, it's just about, vengeance is what it comes down to and people's quest for vengeance which I think is like understandable on a person to person level but I don't think that the the state should have like a policy of enacting vengeance on people when they're liable to get some of that wrong well that's why we should legalize duels fair I think that's really missing from a society I think that's wait

no I agree I want to I want to break this down are so someone murder somebody mm-hmm Who are they dueling? No, because let's say this murders out of vengeance. Okay, okay. Well, really, Will Smith challenged Chris Rock to duel last night. That's how you supposed to do is slapping. I was followed you, big dude. That show is funny, though.

I'm confused as to where the duel comes in. Like Kane Velasquez should be able to duel that guy. He ran off the road instead of going to prison. Sure, but that wasn't a murder. Wait, wait, wait. So you can commit a crime and then get the opportunity to kill the person that you committed the crime against? No, no, no, no.

You should, you should definitely... I mean, that's what you're saying. Well, I think... I think... You haven't thought this through. I haven't thought this through, just having the idea of dueling back in society was good, my life. We got there.

You want duels, that's fine. It's duels like, yeah, we could do a little duel here and there. Those have never gone wrong. We just wear a lot of petticoats as they used to. Just wear the very thick wool petticoats. And then we just blast each other with old-fashioned mother. skits if we run out of ammo then we're just resorted to pistol whipping each other that sounds fair that's a duel uh who else has a phobia anyone else i wrote one to i mentioned that mine was

snakes also but i wrote one down for arian that i knew he wouldn't mention himself but that he definitely has which is synophobia which is the fear of dogs are you afraid of dogs or you just dislike them yeah no it's not that i i'm afraid of them right It's always tell people like, like, when people that have dogs, and they're like, hey, man, my dog's going to be here. I was like, put him up. And they're like, why are you so afraid? I was like, I'm not afraid of him.

I'm afraid of him. I have to kill your dog if he bites me. You're afraid of yourself. You're afraid of what you're capable of. Yeah, because I used to be like, I used to be like, I used to say this all the time. They're like, I'm like, do you have a dog? They're like, yeah. And they're like, oh, don't want to hear that's a bite.

Oh, that's perfect because I don't kick. I just say that shit all the time. Just don't bring him. Like, I don't. Because if I get bit, I'm going to use everything that I have in me to kill this dog. And I will kill him. And I don't want to kill your dog because then you're going to look at me like a murder. I don't know that's true.

I don't know. You look at your dog like a furry baby. You sound like someone looking for an excuse to kill a dog. I will absolutely murder a dog if he bites me. Yeah. So you say you don't want to. You do. So there's not an eye for an eye.

No, no. I don't. I don't seek the confrontation. but if you want to bring it to my front door I'm opening them off you sound like somebody pretty in favor of the death penalty right now I don't view dogs like I view humans

fuck dogs well what if you were able to duel the dog now we're talking I think see that's pretty one way traffic now we're talking no I don't go give a dog a musket because I doubt

no thumbs step into the octagon against the dog I have a list of like people weird fears there's one i wanted to talk about that i don't have but it was in the news a couple years ago the tripophobia oh yeah remember tripophobia the oh it looks like billy's got that no it's just disgusting no it's the fear of a lot of holes so oh casey's got that she does so so when the iPhone the new iPhone came out that has the three cameras on it some people were like

they got anxiety from it because it reminds them of their fear of holes And I had no idea that was even a thing. But no, you know what it is? It's really a fear of beehives. If you look at a beehive, it's a fear of a nest. It's a fear of nesting insects that can attack you and bite you. That's where it really comes from.

I thought it was a fear of like an insect that would like nest inside your own skin. Right. Yeah, that's more. Yeah. Is that it? The whole like the whole like you're scared of the holes and they haven't connected it but like the evolutionary

part of the fear is that you're scared of honeycomb is Casey here I'm so cute it's not necessarily like one like if you see one hole you're good it's like many holes grouped together

yeah it's the aversion to the site of irregular patterns or clusters of small holes or bumps it's a specific so honeycomb would fit into that I get what Billy's saying but like like look it's kind of I sent a picture in the group

I'm not really scared of it but it does sort of gross me out especially the ones where it's pictures of people's hands well Billy that's just a gross picture that you just sent us that's a fake photo but it's still gross

yeah well I'm sorry I'm showing so people are also saying that it's our scientists are saying I should say that it's in a version that's caused by

like a natural fear of parasites or some sort of infection that you could get. So wanting to stay away from somebody that, like, if their hand looked like the extremely disgusting hand that Billy just sent in the group chat, you would naturally not want to have contact with that person because you would catch whatever they had. But that's a fake hole.

That's a fake picture. There's nothing in nature that actually occurs like that. That's all Photoshop. You're like creating a phobia of this for me. I just deleted all those pictures off my photo. No, but Billy, there's definitely stuff that occurs in nature that, No, like these are all, when I just Google tryptophobia, that pictures of the hand stuff, that's all Photoshop. I know.

I'm aware that's Photoshop, but I'm also certain that there are certain conditions that you could have that would make your skin look like that. So I'm saying like that would be something that you would naturally be afraid of because you would catch whatever they had. But for example, where much the picture of honeycomb and like a bees nest, we are, what's the word, conditioned to seeing. so we don't assign it fear but like when we were monkeys running around the trees and we'd see a big beehive with those types of holes

monkeys running around on a tree bro no but like our ancestors right that's what I mean like what I'm saying we is we as a human collective species when you listen to people talk about evolution

it's just yeah that they'd be using that Herschel Walker okay guy fucking Herschel But I'm saying we all, we definitely do come from primates. Our ancestors, yes. Yes. I mean, if you want to go down a lot, we come from fish.

Right. And we're scared. Our primate ancestors were the ones who survived or the ones who stayed away from the beehives, stayed away from the snakes, stayed away from the spiders, stayed away from the heights. But that's weird. But now, but since we lived in trees, how could we be? I think that was started to come about when we started getting bipedal and we're walking around. trying to traverse mountains and stuff i don't know if there's a specific phobia related to this but

you know when you get like a pain that you're not really sure what it is and you like start thinking the worst like you know how like godre yeah is that is that is that what that is that what that is a heart attack or like pain and what is it your left arm whatever sometimes i get like a pain in my left arm i'm like shit like i start like checking my chest so i don't know if it's like a fear like a phobia but like that's a good that's a good one to have and always yeah we're weary of that because it's it's so i went through like a bout of like depression and anxiety like a lot of people say they have anxiety but like real anxiety like where your heart starts goes it goes like 150 and you're so it feels like somebody sitting on your chest and then your hands start tingling like shit

like that yeah like those are good responses to have um always this has nothing to do what we're talking about, but people out there always err on the side of caution because it's better to be safe than sorry. Do not be afraid to bother your medical professionals. We've got Chris Long joining us to talk about phobias and it's brought to you by your great friends over at Manscaped. I use Manscaped. I've got a travel bag when I just went down to visit my folks in D.C. Last weekend took my Manscape bag with me because it's got everything that I need on the go. had my little uh the little razor in there it had everything that i need packed all my stuff in that bag it's very convenient and manscaped is a company that's been working with us now for a while

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And lastly, the Manscaped Lip Bomb, that's a free gift when you purchase the ultra premium collection. This new bundle is going to change your life. I want all my listeners out there to live their best lives and you can do it with Manscaped. It's also a great gift. If you don't know what to get a brother, a roommate, a friend, a cousin, a dad, get 20% off and free shipping with the code dose. So we're giving you 20% off only if you use the code dose at checkout at manscape.com. 20% off in free shipping with the code dose at manscape.com. It's time to get wet and clean with your new manscape shower routine. Now here's Chris Long.

Imagine if like Will Smith, like they're in like couples therapy, like literally that week and that that week they're like working on like standing up for each other like you know speaking up for your wife and then like Bill Smith's laughing and then she hits him with a look he's just like fuck

it was just like a lesson they most recently learned what's up? Yo I just I love that tag Bill I didn't know you're in. We worked on this we talked about it. I love that fucking take honestly it's one of my favorite takes what's up? What's up? What's up

What was that, boys? How you do it? Glad to have you joining the macrodosing pod. Yeah, I'm just reading one of these, Billy. You got one of these on you. It's called Who Would Win. It's books all about who would win like an animal to the death fight matchup. You should get these.

I need to get all of those. Yeah, we do like readings of these on our pod. So I'm going to send you a whole box of them. Like I got my. Amazing. Okay, cool. That's great. Flip to a random page real quick and then have Billy guess who would win.

and then you tell us how good he is. Okay, all right, here's, this is good. Okay, this is, well, every book is dedicated to one matchup. So, like, there's a few that are kind of fucked up, like, Raptor against T-Rex, and then you get to the back and spoiler alert, like the Raptors win because they're like, eight Raptors show up. Yeah, that's kind of unfair. It's kind of bullshit.

But who do you think would win Walrus or Elephant Seal, Billy? So, I mean, elephant seals are a lot bigger than Walruses, but walruses got the weapons on them. And I've seen the elephant seals fight, and I'll tell you that's some of the most interesting footage you'll ever see. It reminds me a lot of sumo wrestling. I talked about the slapping of sumo wrestling. And it's like if you look at the YouTube videos of elephant seals fighting,

it is, I mean, there's nothing else like it. It's just like two gigantic slabs of meat just hitting against each other. But then you got to take into account walrus, they kind of do similar stuff, but they do more tusk work. But again, elephant seals do, you know, they do got a set of jaws on them and they take a lot of bites. I'm going to have to say the elephant seal could win if it doesn't bleed out because it does got a lot of size on the walrus. Yeah. I'm going to actually have to go with walrus because of the bleed out.

So you're thinking that the elephant seal is a superior fighter, but the walrus gets a weapon. Yeah. And it gets one good strike. Yeah. That's all it takes. Well, it's like playing a final boss. Like the elephant seal is the final boss. Yeah.

If you think about it, you have to find the exact right place to damage it. And that's what the walrus is objective is to do, Billy, is to damage the elephant seal in the right place. He's beatable, but then again, the elephant seal is the boss for a reason. He's hard to beat. Okay, I'll tell you what happens. On land, the elephant seal is much larger and heavier. It shoves the walrus. The elephant seal is not afraid.

It smashes his huge body into the walrus. and then on the ice it's the other way around so I'll send you the books man but you gotta read them you gotta do your homework I'll read all of them you would think that Billy was like prepared for that question

how much knowledge he had about the fighting styles of not just the walrus but the elephant seal oh my god dude this is great this is great I thought of you because I got my son whalen some and I was like man I think Billy football would love these books as well how old is whalen now

a whale in a six but he's really smart he's like an adult so like him and billy need to do a podcast about about who and when dude well don't get him too hooked because he's going to end up being 23 just scouting facts that he literally yeah you're looking into wayland's future right now yeah it's better than spouting bullshit I'd be very proud of you

billy football you you spit facts nothing but facts on animals just try just try I would honestly listen to that podcast Billy and a six year old talking about animals that would be a fucking awesome podcast let's line it up i basically i'm my i'm my son's talent you know agent and all that stuff so yeah i mean i won't do a brittany spears thing uh and i don't know if that's a bad joke because i just what happened there he he she signed a deal with her dad and then her dad just wouldn't let her get any money yeah the conservatorship so they they finally released her from it so she's making her own money on the record wayland would

not have a conservatorship and Billy, I would trust you to be a good co-host. Yeah, let's get this done. Hell yeah. That would be amazing. All right, I'm just going to treat that last five minutes of conversation like it's part of the show because we figured it was. I figured it was.

We're on, dude. Rolling start. Good. Just want to make, that's what we do on this show. We just kind of start talking and then eventually we get to the topic. I don't know, an hour, hour and a half later. Just like our show. That's good.

So we brought you on, Chris, because you reached out last week. I was going through a public. I kind of outed myself as having a fear of heights, and I was, it wasn't something I was prepared to share with the world, but by and large, the outreach was supportive. There are a lot of people out there that shared that same fear that I had. You reached out to let me know, like I'm not alone, basically. Yeah, no, you're not alone. Like, I get dizzy on balconies. Yeah.

And then you sent me that link. Actually, you were trying to help me out because I put a picture up of the drop ride that I'm terrified. bad time for you to put a drop right up somebody sadly lost their life uh doing one of those things last week and i was just like hey buddy did you see the news yeah yeah i had i had several people send that to me and there were people that were sending me like the video of it happening no thanks no thank you no thank you please stop doing that i don't i don't need just in general people that do that stuff get a fucking life please yeah oh was that the oh because there's a kid in Orlando. He's not really sad. He's a big guy. Was he really? They didn't strap him in the

big boy. Yeah, I saw a video of him doing offensive line drills and a great account. We are big guys who does a lot of offensive line content, which I love. He posted it and I didn't realize how it happens. Yeah. Yeah, well, it was really fucking scary. Just like every situation at those things. Like anything that where somebody is kind of like smoking a cigarette on break and like going back to their car and then Alan wrenching something that I'm depending upon to like keep me alive like you know generally I avoid so I'm not a big like I don't know bush gardens guy yeah I'm more of a water park guy myself oh yeah I waterborne like like a bacteria that I get a water park I feel like I have a fighting chance yes you know I mean like like I got a week to fight this thing

maybe but you know like something at a carnival or something like a fucking ferris wheel no thank you don't have the time i don't have a fighting chance but did you that bj pen story no bj pen got sucked into i don't know where i heard this story but he got sucked into like a part of the a fake wave machine oh in the wave pool yeah i won't fuck with the wave pool wave pools to me are are terrifying because there's so many humans that they pack in there and then there's always these spots around the edges they get the whirlpools that start and if you're a lifeguard at a wave pool you probably make like seven six deal yes max deal max deal max contract they're like mostly if you're a lifeguard at a pool over summer you might have to do one save maybe maybe and maybe like a

particularly egregious summer two saves but at a wave pool like you should be in the water the entire time that place i feel like i feel like cruise cruise ship lifeguards have to make a ton of saves that's like cruise ships are like the florida of pools because if you think about a cruise ship Like, why do they have a pool on this big boat? Why are you on this big boat? People on cruises are fucking out of control, dude. I feel like a cruise pool is really dangerous. I would get in a wave pool if I had a life jacket on.

I'll be that guy. Like, I'll go to a wave pool, rock a life jacket. Shit, no shame, dude. Yeah, there's a good documentary about Action Park, a legendary, legendary water park that was here in New Jersey for a long time. It shut down because too many people died repeatedly. Like, it was like a place that you would go and take your life into your own hands.

The people that ran the place were insane. They would just create the most fucked up possible designs from water slides. They had one water slide that was totally enclosed that did a 360 degree loop. And it turns out that physics doesn't work that way. So people were losing like teeth in this loop. And then the teeth would get stuck in the plastic.

And then everybody that would go down after them would get shredded by the teeth. And then they would get infections because they're catching bacteria that only exists in the human mouth. your jersey teeth jersey teeth yes no offense I mean but like

Lake Lanier is free dude you don't have to do you can just go down a Lake Lanier for free you have to pay to go to that fucking water water slide there in Jersey they also had a Tarzan swing where they kept the water at some egregious degree it was like 49 degrees or 50 degrees it was like it was outdoor water so it wasn't even

you weren't even going into a pool and people would have heart attack attacks when they went off the swing and jumped into the water because the water was that cold. Just a crazy, go watch the documentary. Now it's cold. Out of respect for anybody that perished at that water park, like,

I'm not laughing. But there is a natural selection kind of element with certain water parks, I feel like the way you're describing it. Yeah. And it was known as a death trap for years and years. And people just kept going back because I guess there was like a sick thrill to going there. Like going to an amusement park where people die on a regular basis. It's like, yeah,

I went, I survive. Now it's called Mountain Creek and I ski there all the time. Oh, nice. It's a nice ski resort, yeah. Okay. You're skiing on. Cowboy, is that place nice?

I got a skiing producer. Cowboy, is that ski resort nice? I haven't been there, but I would presume it's a nice place. Okay, he's heard good things that sounds like. Okay.

We have possibly the coolest background of any guests that we've had on macro dosing right now. You've got the two Lombardi's back there. Which one of those is the one that you stole personally? from Big T. I stole them both from my dad, dude. So, yeah, like real talk. It's stolen from my dad because the way it is is you have to actually get a maid. Like, you as a kid, you always imagine when you win a Super Bowl, like you imagine a lot

of things by winning a Super Bowl. You imagine the party is just like incredible, which it is. But like everybody goes home at a decent hour, like depending on who you are, your wife and kids are at the Super Bowl. Another thing that's not true is that like you just get handed a Lombardi trophy. you're like okay here's the guy's number hit him up he kind of works for tiffany's it's gonna cost you x and it's like enough that you're kind of like what the fuck but it's a super bowl trophy so you make it happen and since i got my studio and my house down the road um i needed four trophies and my dad

took it upon himself to get replicas of our trophies made which seems like a me move you know like you know what i'm saying pft like i hear you i won the super bowl and how he's like oh i got to i got to get these put the display these in my office so one night i needed super bowl trophies for the studio and i was like let me just go black ops and steal these trophies out of my dad's house no problem i steal clothes from him all the time i stole beer alcohol growing up uh you know like uh trophies no problem uh so these are dads and he keeps promising he's gonna come back and get him but he hasn't yet uh since we do have you on though and big t is a giant falcons fan i mean he like lives breathes Atlanta Falcons not not anymore is there uh like any specific memory from that game that you'd

like to share with him that would just make him feel awful well no I want to make him feel good like I think Matt Ryan gets absolutely fucked over because of that Super Bowl I think Matt Ryan I think Matt Ryan has Hall of Fame numbers like he's one of those guys who are going to be considered borderline but by the standard of letting quarterbacks and I think he should at least be talked about it's the classic problem with like quarterback wins and super bowls is like that fucking guy did everything he could have win that game so I almost get offended on behalf of Matt Ryan when people are like good game like that was awesome I actually get mad for Matt Ryan 28 to 3 he did everything he was supposed to do and in the second half like all those

mistakes y'all made were not Matt Ryan mistakes like nobody asked them to throw the ball when when they were up eight like nobody asked the running back to miss that that blitz protection with high tower coming off the edge like there were five six mistakes that they made in that game that I mean I don't know if this making you feel better but I well it's been long enough that I'm I'm totally over in the Braves one so that that took a lot of it off but uh but yeah i mean he left the field with the lead didn't touch the ball again and i mean it was all kail shanan fault that guy should i i can't say on a podcast the things i i feel i love kail shanan dude i'm sure everyone does everybody loves oh what a great guy kajan no he should burn in hell

oh my god incredible um no honestly when we um i always tell this story when we um when we um we won the toss and overtime, I turned to, like, Rob Ninkovich and, like, Alan Branch, and I was like, let's take our helmets off. Like, we just took our helmets off and just sat down because we were like, we're not going to, sorry, you're not going to get the ball back. So, yeah, you just said it. It was already written at that point. Yeah, it was written, dude. So, Chris, also, I might need some help from you on a personal level here because I've been, I've been wrestling back and forth, trying to convince myself that I'm super pumped about Carson Wentz, which I've now lied to myself for long enough that I believe it. So this is always

my goal. I was devastated to hear the news at first. And then I was like, you know what, you got to lie yourself into belief. So yeah, you've been doing a good job. I've been monitoring that. I've now gotten to a place where I think I believe my own lies about Carson Wentz. And I'm ready to be like, you know what? He was, he was really good. And he can get back there. He's also the best quarterback in NFL history when it's 73 degrees outside. 73 degrees yeah and he had two MVP votes in 2017 so can you just kind of based on what you've seen up close with Carson wins as his teammate please tell me that everything's going to be okay everything's going to be okay because you know like football's not everything you know what I'm saying no no honestly everything is going to be okay honestly I think your team's pretty good I really do like you guys hung with the Eagles last year um and you know, nothing against Heineke or any of the guys that they trotted out, especially that second game. But like, you were right there. There's a lot of pieces on that team. And I don't

know, man, it's tough because Carson, I've said how I feel about Carson before. I think if Carson's better at football since he got hurt, people aren't talking about this shit. Like, but it's the reality. If you're not getting it done on the field and you're not like a connective kind of social guy in the locker room, which is not his strong point, like reaching out in different corners of the locker room. And he would probably tell you that. You know, like, people are going to question your leadership a little bit. And the problem for Carson is that it happened in Philly and then it happened again in Indy. And like Frank Wright kind of stuck his neck out there for him and it didn't work out. So I would think if you're going to get any Carson Wentz, spin zone here for you,

maybe you want to get Carson Wentz the third iteration, not the second one. So like, as you would say cool throne um you know colts fans hot seat well no it'd be the other way cool throne Washington commanders fans because you get the revamped cars and wince has been broken down to nothing and then indy actually uh got the bad carson wins i think he's going to be on his best behavior dude i really do if there is good behavior like you know what i'm saying like it's just we've seen this pattern long enough you've heard it from different teams i didn't experience a carson wince like this but i was a defensive player so i don't know maybe okay that's is a resounding vote of confidence from Chris Long. I'm super pumped going into this season. Can't

wait. People forget, uh, 2021 even this season, weeks four to 13. He had the third best QBR in the entire league. So he did. He did, dude. You know, like to be fair, because I, I love Carson the guy, dude. And I think, you know, honestly, to be fair to him, like he hurt his, he heard his knee, he heard his back. I don't think people realize how fucked up he was physically in Philly. And when you're a player that, like, had whatever happened to him happened physically and then like you got all of a sudden you look up, you're an MVP and then you look up under a statue of the guy

that was sitting next to you in meetings. Like that's a motherfucker. I don't care who you are. So you kind of, for a stubborn dude, I think he's been kind of resistant. He's gone into kind of like protect himself mode when he just needs to,

you know, hit the reset button look in the mirror and be like, call a buddy and be like, hey, what was I, what was I fucking up like in my last locker? And what did I do wrong in Philly? Like,

how can I improve? Because it's obvious at this point, like there's just a couple patterns that he could work on. Well, this is probably it for him, too. This is probably his last chance. And if you look at the sad, sad history of the Washington commanders and the quarterbacks that they've had since, I'm trying to remember who the last, I mean, you had like nine to 12 good weeks of RG3 when he was healthy in 2012. Besides that, there's really been nothing since shit. I don't know. I can't even go back that far.

was uh jason campbell but even him actually i was going to say jason campbell that was a decent little run donovan mcnab in uh in a in a in a in a in a in a Washington uniform was weird jason campbell was uh always like a wait till next year guy for me i was like next year's he's taking that step somebody actually just sent me this jersey today in the mail that's a tight jersey though honestly yeah that's a really tight jersey you guys had didn't you have uh colt mccoy for a second i played Colt McCoy when he was there. I think did y'all have a Rex Grossman era? He had he was the original RG3. He's actually Rex Grossman the third. Yeah. And yeah, we had him. He split time with John Beck. You might remember John Beck. I remember John Beck. They called him John. His nickname was

John Beck. Beck. He was just an incredible guy. I think he had one game where he got sacked like 10 times by the bills. Just a just a brutal run. Going back to like maybe Mark Rippin was the Mark Rippin. Yeah, he was good, dude. Mark Rippin was good. Brad Johnson had a good year. Brad Johnson was good. Who knew Brad Johnson was so fucking funny?

He's, dude, what he does right now is the epitome of what I hope my retired life is. He just goes outside. He's got every piece of sporting equipment. He goes out onto his basketball court and just figures out different ways to, like, throw shit into different holes. It's awesome. Come on, walk with me my batting cage, fellas. And then it's like trick shot, the batting cage. And then it's like an indoor pool.

Yeah. You know, like he's just got everything you could possibly want. Yeah, he's got the setup, dude. Okay, so Billy Football may be playing cards here with all the Washington quarterbacks going back to the year 2000. Yeah. I was just going to put these out. Jeff George, Josh Johnson, Dwayne Haskins, Brad Johnson.

He's good. I'm going to set that side. Kyle Allen, Tim Hasselback, not Matt, Tim Hasselbeck. Patrick Ramsey, he should have been good. He was a great javelin thrower at Tulane. Danny Whirfel, McNath. McNab, RG3, he was good for a few weeks. Brad Johnson, he was not bad.

John Beck, Alex Smith, McNabb, Ryan Fitzpatrick. Man, I wish we could have gotten more of him. Mark Brunell, Jason Campbell, Kurt Cousins, Colt McCoy, Taylor Hineke. That's pretty brutal. Wow. A couple guys in there that are like, damn, dude, like you really had to do that. Like, Mark Brunel didn't have to do that. He did not.

He didn't have to go play there. Danny Werfel was an all-time guy because that was in the, oh, and Todd Collins. who could forget. Danny Werfel was one of the gator skins that Steve Spurrier brought in. So Steve Spurrier, when he worked for the Washington Redskins at the time, was basically like, I'm going to drink while I coach football. So he would be like sipping dackeries and shit. Honestly, I can't, I can't knock it.

No. He just came to the NFL. He was like, I'm going to get all the players that I used to coach. And then we're going to put them on the team. And we're going to coach professional ball like I coach college ball, which means I'm just going to try you'll never see an offense scores many points.

My strategy is we're going to score a ton of points out there and then it turns out that like working nine to five probably that's a little generous. That doesn't work in the NFL, dude. That guy had more like, you know the aura thing like when you get around people

that just have like a vibe dude. You know, I was down there when we got our asses kicked in the orange bowl a little bit. Not like a total blowout but we hung with Florida for a while. They just scored too much. They were recognized

and Steve Spurrier and I just felt so like big dick just being around him dude he's just got that kind of like that charisma I don't know like yeah he's got the charisma of a guy who could walk in and be like you know you're the owner he's walking by in the hallway with a dackery and you're like oh sure that yeah no problem yeah I'm not going to say anything to Steve Spurrier Chris long just want to say happy birthday oh it's your birthday yeah we're recording this on Monday March 28 tell them tell him who told you that billy welcome happy birthday thank you bro happy birthday Hey, thank y'all, man. Yeah, 37 old.

It's you and Scott Van Pellet. You guys share a birthday. That's crazy. Is it? No, that's not true. Yeah. Is it? Yeah.

Really? Yeah, hit them up. Okay. No, okay, there's a thing here. There's a thing. Hey, Billy, by the way, dude, how many hamburg, nine hamburgers, dude? Dude, trust me. It was, it was one of those things where the bread started to get hard and it was just harder to choke it down.

And then the taste of the cheese, like the cheese. Like the cheese is, you know, it's so you started to realize how artificial the cheese was. And it just, look, I have no excuses. So would it count if I did just hamburgers no, no cheese? Yeah, I mean, you're going to have the problem is going to be the buns. Okay. But that's, that's, that's, yeah, I'll take care of the buns, man. Yeah, I think you got that.

You say that now. It was not impressive, Billy's performance. If you, if you go for it, I mean, look, honestly. honestly I wouldn't recommend it because what happens is all the sodium makes your body swell up afterwards it's weird it's bad for gains it's bad for gains but it's weird like after the wafel house challenge thing I'd like I wore really loose fitting shirts for like four days I felt like everything was swollen you know what I mean oh yeah you did it was disgusting you want to talk about sodium no yeah it was disgusting it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do so the hamburgers

look delicious, man. Is this the 24-hour thing or there's a different waffle house challenge? I'm not familiar. Yes, the 24-hour. How many did you eat? How many did I eat, read? 14.

14 in 12 hours, I guess it was. 10 hours. Doing the math. Yeah, it's pretty impressive. Because you get an hour off for every, every waffle you eat. So that's the way to do it. You got to hurry, dude. How many did you eat in the first 20 minutes?

First 20 minutes, I ate six, six? Yeah. I hit, I hit, eight in the first 20 minutes and then I was well from the get go if you see the first bite that billy takes it's over after the first bite there's a moment of realization in his mind it just dries up yep his eyes just chewing I'm just like his eyes just going to like beta male no it's just I've been bested by this food it was just so dry I because I took off all the the ketchup and pickles I almost should have kept it on that was dumb

That wasn't right. Yeah, that's what really killed me. It was like, I tried to skimp on sugar. I was like, oh, I'm just going to eat these waffles dry, dude. It was the hardest thing in the world, dude. I should have put some fucking syrup on there. You just got to go all out, man. Billy's strategies when it comes to these food competitions are the funniest part because he always...

Well, the thing is I'm not an actual competitive eaters. I don't know how you're supposed to do it. You need a promoter. You need like a Don King type, you know, kind of like strategist promoter for your eating or any of conquest you do off the mic dude it's really just stanford steve but but billy's just in a perpetual contest to try to earn stanford steve's respect it never ends dude it never ends i'm always trying too dude he's just he's too cool bro we're gonna see him down new orleans this weekend and probably have some chicken wings with him so fucking fomo that'll be a good time uh we're having you on to talk

about these phobias though and yeah uh yeah i think what would your biggest phobia be i've always I've said mine is heights, Billy, what's your biggest phobia? Needles. Needles. Big T and Arian both said snakes. And Avery, what's yours? What was it called again? The thing with, I was like, oh, the whole one?

No. No, I was like talking about how like I have an irrational fear of like things are going to happen to be. Oh, oh, hypochondria. Hypochondria. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, what is that? What goes into that?

Like you're just afraid of death? Like, well, no, it's more just like when I get random pains, I feel like it could end up being like a heart attack or something. Dude, hey, you and me both. That's called anxiety, brother. Yeah, you know, to opt for the better, you know, the better term here. Yeah. Like, it's way more acceptable right now to be like, I have anxiety. Like, even now in today's really accepting society, if you say hypochondriac, some of the most sensitive people laugh at you. Yeah. I like anxiety there. Well, hypochondriac, I think, is more where you actually, you end up going to the doctor. getting looked at and you're not i haven't been to the doctor in years yeah yeah yeah if you say if

you diagnose yourself yeah like one time yeah like one time like my chest started tightening up and i was like oh man it's that my heart and i was like no i like lifted chest like three day two days before i was fucking sick flex there well i was just i was not flexing but i was like like i was really freaking out and it was the only way i was like okay it must just be my muscle yeah no you're too strong because there is a muscle in there that people that like freaks out people i Reddit actually Rhea tweeted about it once. Your heart is a muscle. Right, but there's like some

specific peck, anyway, never mind. But it does act up. Billy, I believe you. That's what you need to hear right now. I believe you. Thank you. Thank you. Somebody does. Somebody needs to say that on the fucking show. You probably don't get that a lot on your show. I would do that for you. No, that would be an accurate assessment of the state of things. I know what it's

like, bro. Actually, you're replacing Arian right now because he's out taking care of some stuff. It's like a complete He doesn't give you any. I know what you mean, right? I'm like the nice uncle I see I do see Aryan sometimes and the chemistry with those two is both awful and great at the same time it's just perfect it's a good dynamic

we have here and so what would your what would your biggest phobia be so I wrote a couple down like Achilles tears was one of them for a long time like if you're an NFL player I guarantee you one of your top five fears is an Achilles tear because they have so suddenly, and there's like the death sentence. So like, especially now in retirement, I feel like because I got through my career without tearing my Achilles, book it. Now that I've

done this, this show, like I'm $100, I'm tearing my Achilles this year. And what good content? No. And what about Kyle? No, maybe it's, maybe it's a, like, it's nothing to be afraid of. Yeah, you might have good Achilles. I don't know. I don't know if this is comforting to you or not, but there's a pretty strong track record of us saying things on this show and them coming to fruition. Quite shortly after that. I have a fear of making $50 million doing what we're doing right now. Same. Same.

I have a fear of making $50 million. So far, it's only been bad things. Okay. Oh, fuck. Other than the money, that could suck. Okay. I'm afraid of snakes coming out of the toilet, dude. Oh, and you're sitting down?

Yeah, like 10% of me is still afraid of snakes coming out of the toilet. Do you check? Not like at home, you know, because I kind of know my plumbing. But if we go on vacation, like we were just in Mexico, I feel like there's just, you know, boa constrictors running around there in Florida. It's like they've overrun the state. Yeah. That's a real fucking scary thing if you're shitting in Florida.

Well, often are you checking your, your plumbing for snakes? I don't check my, he's probably got, he's probably got anti-snake. I don't check my plumbing for snakes, bro. Like, because I know my plumbing, dude. I know it like the back of my head. You keep saying this as if you have some inherent knowledge of where the snakes would not want to go. Well, I built the house. Well, I built the house and I know that like black snakes in Virginia and copperheads, they don't swim up toilets.

Okay. You got to worry about the low, the low lying like, you know, ranch style homes. I'm on the second floor. And it's got to be in some subtropical type place. Like if I'm down in Boca, I think it's called the, it's Boca Ratonas, mouth of rat, not the snake. Yeah. but i mean like a motherfucker like a you know constrictor could just fucking poke its head up you know like that's why you got to flush the toilet before you sit down when you shit in florida did

when you were in mexico did you see any of those mexican raccoons yeah dude i think i know exactly what you're talking about cat mondies that just like run everywhere and everyone's like oh they're so cool it's so tropical they're so cute but they're literally just mexican raccoons they're eating trash well listen to be fair um i think in general in america we take our wildlife for granted we have like i go over on safari now like go over to east africa for safari and what i realize is yeah that's pretty fucking cool but if things were reversed i would want to go on like an american safari there's a lot of amazing animals in north america dude about a bison huh yeah i was i was going to say like montana bro that's that is an american safari i have a i have a sick uh i have a sick

addiction to watching tourists and Yellowstone getting too close to the bison and getting absolutely tossed. Dude, I have a sick addiction to just seeing them get fucked up. It's not sick, dude. It's not sick.

That's great. They all get off of the buses and taking photos and they just get charged. I'm taking a look at this Mexican raccoon right now. These things are cute. Yeah, but they're raccoons. Yeah, but they're disgusts.

What's this anti-racoon? I like raccoon's too, Paul. I've, you know. Don't fuck with raccoons, man. Dude, trash pandas, you know, I'm not a fan of them. Don't fuck with those things, dude. I'm not afraid. I'm way less afraid of, and this might sound a little Aryan fostery,

but I'm less afraid of black bears than I am of raccoons. Oh, no, I completely agree. Black bears are absolute pussies. Humongous pussies. Agreed. I respect them. They're beautiful, but, you know, like, I'm not worried about a black bear. Because they run away.

They're raccoons. No, even if it didn't run away, dude. I'm not worried about a black bear. I live with Kyle Long. and Howie Long I'm worried about a black bear dude do you think that the black bear show me the bodies on a black bear dude like Google

how many bodies does a black bear have fucking barely any like just just older people not as many as Howie apparently dude yeah howie's a bad motherfucker dude actually you know what I'm actually terrified of I'm terrified of rabies because rabies really sneaks up on you

because no seriously dude I honestly so I lived I used to live I used to live before I graduated college when I was like doing school from home and working. I lived in a barn and had a huge bat colony in the roof. And it was a pretty healthy bat colony. And they hibernated for most of the winter. So it wasn't a problem. But in the fall in the spring, I'd sometimes wake up and there'd be bats, one lone bat flying around who didn't go out.

It somehow got into the barn. I like spent most of my time like putting epoxy to close up holes. I know this sounds crazy But the thing is if you if you wake up with a bat in your room No it actually makes a lot of sense Yeah you're supposed to freaking go and get like 16 shots for rabies to prevent rabies Because if you get bit by a bat

And it's got rabies Like you can Without knowing you get bit you have no idea Six months later you are done You don't talk about Lyme's disease dude I have friends that spend all day in the woods And fucking come up with limes disease There are some that you can't eat

red meat anymore. Yeah, yeah, this vegan tick. Yeah, what would happen to you if you got bit by a vegan tick, Billy? Bro, I'm catching rabies and just ended it. I think, I think that Billy would just eat meat until he died. I'd rather have the fucking Amazonian parasite that swims up your, your pee hole and you just die in your sleep or whatever it is. I don't think it just chills out there. I don't think it actually kills. I don't think it's not even that bad. I don't think it's not as much chilling. I think it's no, so I woke up with a back. So we're now far enough removed from it. But I, I, I don't didn't get bit, we would have known. But I survived.

There was a point where I was like, I might have been bitten by this bat and I might die in six months. So this actually kind of fits in with something that we want to talk about, which is like the coolest ways that you could possibly. What was the description? Because I think that if Billy just accepted the fact that he couldn't eat meat anymore, but did it anyways until he died, that would be an all-time great way to die, I think. I'm also for it.

Can I tell you also, before we do best cool off-the-board ways to die, I'm afraid of dying with your browser open at the wrong time. I think every man has been afraid of dying, like suddenly with your browser open at the wrong time. Yeah. And I think they should develop an app that when you die, like it's like picks it up on your Apple Watch and then it closes your browser out. And maybe like puts up a picture of your family or something.

Yeah. That's actually genius. Back in the day before the internet, I used to hear about dudes that would have like packs with their friends. Where it's like, hey, if I die, come into my house and get rid of that. closet shoebox that I've got, you know? Like, I don't want my family to find that when they're cleaning up after me. Nowadays, it's much simpler. You're right. It's just like delete my browser history and maybe, um, maybe, but before you do, go on my Instagram page and then

like a bunch of pictures of just my family. Just family. Or like my cute dogs. So the for you page comes up, the explore page is nice and clean. Yes. Everybody needs that friend. Sorry to derail, but I just that was when I had this idea today I feel like it could make me rich so yeah the death app I like that a lot so we're doing like coolest ways to die sure I thought we're doing like stupid cool ways to die

yeah kind of stupid cool ways to die like basically the number one here is wing suiting yeah like when you wing suit and I like wing suiting when you talk about like death and like sudden death I think you're always very like aware of who you might offend is like somebody had somebody die that way but when you decide to go wing suiting like you've said like hey probably happening yeah you know like and and i'm cool with it a little bit and i know somebody

who wingsuits is going to be like you're a fucking asshole but honestly dude yeah honestly it's a pretty big part of the wingsuit culture is i'll put it this way when you decide that you're going to go wingsuiting you make sure your affairs are in order before you get ordered off that thing or out of that plane. Well, that's, that's clear. You do not have a lot of affairs in the first place. Let's be honest. I remember the one, the one documentary, hey, move my van. Move my, my adventure van. Yeah. I'm not saying they're all like not rich. I'm just saying like they don't give a fuck about anything, dude. Dude, I think the one documentary I watched on wing, uh, wing flying or whatever, the guy was like, yeah, I totally hated my life and I was ready to end it. I just decided to

wing suit instead of like, like, literally that was, it was a less terrifying way. Yeah. You could try. Yeah, I was I don't know. I don't remember, but I just remember the guy had like super intense, like bright, big blue eyes. And he, like, looked like he was on meth when he was saying this into the camera. But, I mean, I think wing suiting out of a, like, a airplane is way safer than some of the cliff stuff. Because you have guys trying to go through, like, holes in the cliffs and stuff. Yeah. Shooting the gap is that's where if you meet somebody in your wing suitor and you hear that they're like a gap shooter, you're like, goddamn dude.

You know, maybe we shouldn't even be around each other. you're dangerous like the gap shooters are dangerous bro um and the funerals have to be kind of like people are like you know well they're all well no but like i mean fuck dude what do you expect yeah i think the funerals are for people like that typically your buddies jump out of an airplane with your ashes and you just like scattered into the air one last time and then they wing suit down it's a fucking thing you don't ever turn back once you do that i think it's So balzy, man. I'll put that on my list.

I feel like wing suiting the advancements. I don't know if it's like an advancement in wing suing technology or just the fact that it's a thing. It really took off in the span of about like five years because I remember the first time I saw somebody wingsuit. I was like, holy shit, people can fly. And then like within five years, wingsuit videos were everywhere. I was like, okay, I guess this is like just a common sport that people are doing nowadays. Have you ever seen this guy James Kingston? He's like, have you ever seen these guys that climb cranes?

Fuck those guys. With go pros. And a lot of them are Russian, but this guy's actually English. Yeah, I'm like a huge fan. And I think it's just because that's the right kind of extreme. Like, I feel like that guy is not leaving things to chance. I know wing suitors are, they probably have it down to a formula. But like somebody like that is a pro.

They're like a great athlete. They know they've been like doing their homework. and I'm sure wing suitors do that too but I just feel like anything can happen it was just the anniversary of who was it Fabio getting hit by the fucking bird in the face back to roller coasters

like it's just things happen in the air I like I like that that requires an anniversary what he's saying? Yeah it was like 23 years yeah did Fabio's counting? No he didn't die oh okay I know but I mean imagine if he was a wingsuit guy and there's like straight condor well that was that was the thing about the free not you're like the sully of extreme sports

not free solo but remember the ice climbing one there was another documentary on ice climbing in the guy the alpinus the alpinist really good i have not seen the alpinus i watch it well basically at the end like the guy it's just i'm not going to spoil it yeah uh you're about to spar the alpinus sounds like he probably sounds like he's i thought we were all i thought we were all you know he actually retires from from climbing ice and raises a family and is shrooms is happy yeah that sounds like exactly what you have to do a lot of shrooms like instead of doing that stuff so that that's one that that everybody hit me up and they're like hey you need to watch the alpinus if you hate heights it's on my list being impaled by a charging elephant is a pretty sick way to die is it i don't even

the coolest impaled like a rhino would be way cool yes if you're just stuck on the horn oh no trample me with wildebeest Mufasa Yeah No just I mean I was honestly gonna do I was gonna do a whole thing Because I couldn't think of anything

You guys were like Some off the board cool ways to die I was gonna come on here And just rattle off ways That movie characters have died in movies And see how long it took for you guys To pick it up But I mean obviously the test group

You guys got that right away Trampled by Wilta Bees That would actually suck That would be terrifying just like because it wouldn't happen quickly probably you'd have to get run over by at least six of them before you passed out Willoughby's aren't that big

yeah but I'm sure they run the power really we need to take you on a road trip you need this is why you need to take Dan's place on the Kilimanjaro climb yeah because Dan is a fucking liar and a villain in the clean water circle in clean water circles they don't they don't even say the words

pardon my take how many because how many people Dan fucking lied and said he was going to go on a Kilimanjaro climb and then didn't so people are waiting and maybe we could send billions that i would 100% do it um how many people do you think have died because big cat refused to go on that trip i'm not going down that road but it's got to be thousands right like how many wells have not i would say a lot of people's a lot of people's hope has died yeah that's you know what i'm saying because you know you look at him and you the thing about dan is everybody loves the fact that he's authentic what you see is what you get like that's what makes the character

of Big Cat. This is one thing that he's not authentic on. I mean, not a charity guy, I guess. No, but he's authentically avoiding exercise, a mountain full of exercise. I think that's very... Yeah, that's true. Billy would be a good fit on that trip, though. I think Billy would be a good...

Oh, yeah, you could wear your military boots and see, because a lot of times... They're hiking boots. We actually bring like real veterans for this hike, and I would love it if Billy just showed up and all that gear that he had out at the airport. The funniest thing is my wife does not consume, like, part of my take content, obviously.

Well, maybe it's not obvious, but she, she saw the picture one day and Dan posted it. And she was like, is that guy fucking serious with this outfit? Me? Well, I was like, well, it's complicated. It's, we were going on grit week. And basically at the end of the trip, laundry wise, all I had left was like, you know, yeah, my camo pants. That was the last thing in my suit case.

Yeah. Like, it was my camo pants. and I brought my, like, hiking groups because I never know what's going to go on with these guys. I might get dropped in the middle. Very convenient shoes to wear to an airport, by the way. And, Chris, you know that, like, obviously there's a lot of hiking that goes on on these trips that me and Big Cat go on.

So Billy had to be prepared. No, I'm literally prepared. Yeah, no question. I know. They're big hiking trails. Seriously, but what if they just drop me off in the middle of the woods somewhere? Is it like a prank? Like, I wouldn't put it like... You've got to be ready for some shit like that.

When I go on these things, I got to be ready. Like, who knew I was going to be running a marathon on a treadmill or eating nine burgers? the other day. I would love to get in a boxing race. I would love to see Billy it is incredible man. In base camp. Your fucking life is incredible. It's awesome. Billy at base camp and Kilimanjaro like eating stew with

with Nate Boyer preparing for the hike. Sharing war stories would be awesome. Yes. Yes. Yes. That would be incredible. You talk about a guy that would not respect your eating abilities. Oh yeah. No doubt. No doubt. All right. 24 people a year get killed by champagne courts. Like

Think about it. There's some great stuff going on. If you're in proximity of a champagne cork, boom, it's over. And you're, yeah, yeah, it would kind of suck because the party would probably die out at that point. That's sick. You get to upstage the party and no one can be mad at you. Yeah, a champagne cork.

The only problem I have with that one, it's a good, I like the choice, but just the size of the champagne cork, like it's kind of a beta move to die. By getting something that small. Where do you got to get hit by it to die? Temple. Temple? Temple.

maybe the jugular and like what if what if you're like say it's a restaurant proposal or something and then you're like 12 tables over you don't even know these people and you just get taken out by that like that well 50% of marriages end in divorce and maybe that marriage never gets off the ground oh that's a cursed marriage yeah well that always you know when i see those videos of like people shooting into the air and celebration and like different like be it south when it comes down like yeah or in kentucky or something yeah like right somebody in the app the appalachian mountains i hear a lot of gunshots near my house maybe that's what people are doing yeah um i would say i would say with dignity dying with dignity i think that's overrated personally

you think that's overrated my deathbed hopefully when i'm you know very old i'll just be laying down i'll be like oh my god no no no just shitting myself terrified crying like taking grabbing my grandchild and be like don't let me die don't let me die so selfish so selfish brain aneurisms always freak me out yeah that sucks yeah just like rather get hit by champagne cork so easily so my my grandmother actually i i'll say this my grandmother died with a tremendous amount of dignity i was in fifth grade at the time and she was in the hospital she knew she was about to pass away and uh she like said goodbye to us and all that and she goes i don't know what to do i've never died before that was that was like her last

words that's a great that's a great oh what a legend dude it's a great line you get it on us that's great dude i've been thinking about um like just learning a great joke or if i ever if i ever think of a great joke it hasn't happened yet but i've still got some years left if i can just like hang on to that one joke and wait to tell it on my deathbed you talk about going out in style just like well you're really good at this jokes are about timing right yeah you're about to die like what better timing could it be for your best joke yeah tell the most offensive joke ever oh that's good we're just Twitter Twitter is just fucking like dragging you but you're dead yeah you they say you only really die the last time someone says your name. So you just fire off the most offensive tweet,

the most problematic tweet ever. It's a way to never die. Yeah, then then you're talked about for like days. You're, uh, post now I can't even say the word posthumously because Hank ruined it by calling it postmosely. Yeah. You're posthumously canceled. What if you, uh, what if you were like about to die and just trolled like anyone there and just said the like treasure. Don't even hypothetically do it, Billy, whatever you're going to say. Maybe not even hypothetically. No, but just like the treasure is and then just die but then wake up and be like got you or you tweet out a map or like a clue to where you've left your fortune i was saying this the other day you know the guy who made the gift died i'm sure you guys talked about this the creator of the the inventor of the gift

so i think it would be sick if um if he had a gift on like his mausoleum like you get to pick one yeah you know like you know a little a little fitting like what would you guys have on your on your What gift would you have on your, uh, your, your little, I don't know, mausoleum or tombstone? You couldn't do the undertaker one. That would be, that would be, you know what's my favorite. You know what's my favorite gift? Sneaky is the Elmo in the fire gift. Yes. That's a good one. That's just had a good run. Pure chaos. I still tweet that sometimes. One of my favorites is the guy that's, uh, he's at a beach and he's wearing like a full car heart style jacket and he's got big jeans on. And he's wearing like work boots. And he's wearing like work boots. He's kind of a frumpy, overweight guy. He's got a skimboard, and he's running towards the water, and he throws it into the water. Like, nothing about this guy would ever indicate that he's ever been on a board of any type. He's getting the water.

And he throws into the water, and as he's chasing after it, he trips and starts falling down. And as he's falling, his bare asses out as he's falling. Is this a real gift? It's a great gift. Yeah. I'll text it to you. I thought he was fucking with me. That's funny as fuck.

Because I've never, I've actually never seen that gift. and that's pretty rare because I feel like I know my gifts, dude. How about the guy that actually gets up out of his coffin on topic? We talked about that last week. It's the soap opera guy that fakes his death in the soap opera and he gets up out of there. I love that gift. I've never seen it. I got us to gifts.

I'm sorry about this guy. No, no, don't we. Honestly, the guy, the gift guy would probably love that we're talking about gifts. I know he would. He really would. I tweeted a gif, an RIP gift in retweet of his death. That was big of you, bro. I know.

I knew you'd want that. Okay, I'm looking at the skimboard thing right now so I can send it to you. Being over hydrated, like drinking so much water that you die. So, Molly. Like, what a healthy way to go out, bro. Molly overdose. The only problem with that. I've never done Molly, dude.

That's not a lie. Yeah, never done Molly. I'm a total verge. I guess probably all the Molly kids probably think of Malay. More for me. I mean, it's probably, why would you ever? want to mess with your dopamine receptors yeah that's what i'm saying billy that's like because i mean that's like the one thing that like gets you going in life like i don't want to

fuck around with those i don't fuck that shit up yeah i know i'm with you serotonin receptors gabber people are chewing on themselves when i see them doing that yeah i'm like do i really want to be all like you know but it sounds everybody says it's great well half of them end up getting like meth by accident that's where my just a little just a little math my jaw after taking MDMA in Hong Kong was so sore on the flight back. I had, I couldn't talk. I couldn't eat solid food because I

had just spent 12 hours just clinched up. That was a, that was an all-time bad flight. I'll tell you what, like 18 hours. Dude, you had the Sarah, you had like the come down off of something tough like that on a flight back from Hong Kong. Yeah, I couldn't even imagine. And I was in coach. That's bold. I completely screwed up

the order of operations on that. I should have taken the business class flight back from Hong Kong. back to New York. You totally fucked it up, dude. As opposed to going there. I just, I just DM'd you the GIF, Chris, if you want to check it out.

It's, uh... Is, were we sure this isn't like one of those things that ends in sex? It's like a video that starts... I'm not meat spinning you. Meat spinning. And just ignore the text that's on the screen because that's not on the original one. That's the first one. Hemmo sent meat spend the big cat today when he said he didn't have,

he didn't know how to log into the website. The original, the original meat spin was two girls, one cup. Yes. well no I think that was like pre-internet like meat spin it's been pre-dney spin was oh well maybe I wasn't fishing in the meat spin waters I just you know two girls one cup was an automatic tell somebody in college have you been to this new website and just see what happens I when I got to the internet there was one website there was one website that had a collection of all of those videos and they played them all at the same time it was yeah no it was you had you had i mean

please don't please don't clip this because i don't want my mother seen this you had meat spin two girls one cup yeah please don't clip anything with two girls one cup and me that's just disgusting two guys one horse three guys one hammer and they all like all of them and they all played it once and it was like it literally probably ruined my whole generation those last two are you all familiar with those I'm not yeah no I'm not I'm really I mean like I'm so basic I thought two girls one cup was the I'm not familiar with hammers or

horse my brain can fill in the blanks the hammer I don't have I don't I don't have a DM from you PFT the big one the big one growing up was the big one growing up was Penn Island but it was just it was penis land

there we go I just I thought it was like oh man that's good Yeah, this guy's the man. Pants falling down is really the best part of the entire thing. Okay, so what other cool ways to die? And as far as the drinking too much water thing goes,

I tend to agree with that. But the case that people always look back on is the lady that won, she was in a contest to see who could drink the most water so that she could win a Nintendo Wii. So it was how much water can you drink without using the bathroom and she drank so much that she just died. She got like over hydrated and just doing that when you throw in that it's a radio contest to win a now far outdated gaming system. Yeah, I was going to say that we have a switch now.

Like I'm going to go home and my six year old and my three year old play switch. Yeah. And like it's much better. Like I could see dying for a PS5, but if you were to be like dying for like a Sega CD. The Wii was to get a hold of. It was tough. 2008 you couldn't find a way. it was well i mean uh let me ask you this are they still selling ps5s like hacking people's shit

yep was that a real thing that big cat got hacked or was he act i can never tell is he like doing a bit or not like he he just does that when when like wisconsin loses a game so that he doesn't have to answer any questions about it he just pretends that he's hacked god dude yeah um let's see dying in the gym billy under the squat rack yeah i thought about that I have a squat rack in my spot and I never bench heavy on it anymore because I'm just like it would be too it would be too much of a meme

being alone yeah but also imagine if you guys found out like that's what happened to me it would be kind of cool though yeah don't not letting that happen you want to die looking weak bill no no it'd be like the worst if people on the internet would laugh

if that happened but it would be very memorable exactly in all seriousness a mob hit like generally is long as it's a nice like you didn't see it coming like you know um there's a whole show you guys know it yeah it's kind of ambiguous i i uh i feel like a sedan you know like i'm in the i'm in the uh the front seat of the sedan sedan and like maybe it's a surprise that wouldn't be that bad yeah maybe um town car in the back of a town car town cars by the way so underrated

totally underrated vehicle i never want a limo no matter like where my career would take me if I'm at a point where I am like limousine adjacent give me the town car instead town car is the height of luxury I had buddy I've owned two town cars go ahead Billy I had a I had a buddy in college who had an old town car like he bought it with tons of miles from an old driver who was like I don't need this anymore so he'd roll up in this black Lincoln town car and it was like a little bit older but it still got the job done and it was we just called the livod driver you just roll up it was the coolest thing and like a small car well a town car is sick but I had a my first cattle my first car people are

always like what was your first purchase it was a Cadillac DTS it was black and it rode like a town car and I loved it like all I needed was somebody to drive me around Missouri but I was just driving to practice and kind of a town car adjacent vehicle I also had a grand marquis 1983 yeah suicide doors dude it was sweet that's awesome I like I like I like the DTSs. The issue is if you're driving a town car, like, I want to ride in a town car in the back. Exactly. That was what I didn't think. Yeah. I didn't think that through. As far as the mob hit goes, maybe one of the coolest deaths, at least the coolest picture of a death of all time, Carmine Galante. He was the acting boss of the banana crime family. When he got hit in the backyard

of a restaurant here in New York, they shot him. As he was dying, he took a cigar out. He was put it in his mouth and was taking a drag after he got shot as he died no so the picture of his body that was put in all the papers at the time is him laying on the ground blood all around him and he's got the cigar between his teeth that he's holding in his mouth as he died that's you just that's dignity yes that is dignity it's maybe the coolest way there's also another one that um i'm fascinated by by scandinavian culture and what they do for recreation love their furniture love the cold water They love the cold waters. They used to do this thing called the World Sona Championships.

Oh, yeah. And the World Sona Championship was just a bunch of, like, hearty Scandinavian dudes that would get together. And there were rules about what you had to do in this competition. They take their sonnas very seriously. So you're not allowed to drink. The starting temperature is 110 degrees Celsius. So I don't know what that equates to. I think that's probably like

over... 170, 200? Yeah, look it up, Billy, because that's important. Yeah, we're not going to... These are all guesses. It's 230 degrees Fahrenheit. 230 degrees. Holy shit. That's the starting temperature.

That's the starting temperature. So they get in there and the rule is half a liter of water is poured on the stove of every 30 seconds, making it hotter and hotter and hotter in that room. You have to sit upright. Your butt and your thighs touch the bench and you put your hands on your legs. You can't move around.

You just sit there and you take the pain. You wear a normal swimsuit. And if you have long hair, you have to tie into a ponytail. Because ironically, if you have long hair at that point, it actually makes it cooler on your head if it's... It's hard to heat the hair up to 230 degrees. If it's protecting, it's kind of protecting your neck area. Dude, I'd be concerned about your nuts at that point.

So you're not allowed to disturb the other competitors. And then the judges check in. You have to show that you're good with a thumbs up. And you have to be able to walk out on your own. And the last person that walks out of the sauna unaided is the winner. And there were multiple people that died doing it. And then they had to shut down the entire competition because obviously it's like just basically death wish. If you're entering Russian roulette or that competition like and really trying to win that competition. And really trying to win that competition that that competition because you pass out and they just drag you out of there no i'd just take my chances with one round of rush and roulette like i'm not getting in a sauna for a long time

well i just get in there and just be like oh too hot oh i'm saying you got to like really will yourself you got to push it to where you're you you actually like got to get carried out there's some like strategy there though because if you're like the third to last standing it's like all right I know I can walk out right now. These two guys look like they're in it to die. And I can still get the win here. Yeah. It would actually, it'd be tough if you finished in third place and died.

Yeah, that would suck, dude. That's the part. Like, you got to win that thing. That would be, I guess a super hardcore way to die, man. Like these guys, now that saunas are kind of in because of like Joe Rogan and stuff like that, I actually paid attention to the heat in my sauna one time. And I was like, oh, no, I'm way under where they say. like it gets legit i could not do it no chance yeah i what's a legit temperature for son

190 is what at some of the typical gyms it usually is in a sauna i love the steam room steam steam the schvitz yeah there's a um there's a nice russian bath around here it's in like the lower east side i like to go there occasionally and uh they've got like five or six different rooms that you can go in and the hottest of the hot room you can only be in there for i don't know like five or six minutes at the most then you got to get out but it's yeah because the eastern promises things happen exactly all of a sudden you're turning into vigo mortensen like beating the shit out to somebody fully naked just balls out knife fight dude like watching a movie i thought i was watching a mob movie dude wait so i remember reading this fact that in the finish military rank does not

matter in the sauna so the finish know how to part of their like military training i'm serious because they they live in these such I mean they fight wars and like you know the coldest parts of the world they like know how to build a sauna within like 15 minutes and get it ready and going like I got and then once like you know then once they all get into sauna like rank means nothing like every there's we're all they're all equal in the sauna I got to find this that is incredible so if you kill another officer in the sauna like would it's just murder it's just murder Yeah, it's just murder. Yeah, it's not, it's not dragging.

Oh, my God, dude. That's incredible. Yeah, but it's actually crazy that sauna is so, the Finns have built some 20 sonnas at the bases for their 800s. For the Finns, the sauna is a way of life, an important part of any military camp, even in the Kosovo where the summer temperatures top 100 degrees. Let me see this.

Yeah, they used to build, like, so when the finish were actually like going into, like fighting on the Russian border during World War II, they were setting up saunas. It was just part of their like camp. It's a lot healthier than like Americans being like, oh, I got to feel at home, let's eat some fast food.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? There's a guy that his name was Draco and he was a legislator in Athens in ancient Greece and he died because he was like he was on the floor of what their equivalent to the

Senate would be and if if they said something that people approved of, they would throw their hats or their jackets at him. That was sort of like sign of, yeah, I agree with this guy. And so many people loved what he was saying that they threw all their shit at him and he got covered up by all of it,

suffocated and died. It died with like agreement. Yeah. Like confirmation. Like died of being agreed with. He was so right that it killed him. Yeah. I would love to do a tweet like that one day.

I'm just so right. And everybody likes it so much. that, you know, it's just the end for me. You get so many retweets and the dopamine levels spike in your brain. Oh, my God, dude. Dogs, bruh. Yeah, yeah, watch out. That's how Rex Chapman's going to eventually pass up.

You got to watch out, dude. He's going to get too many, too many likes. He's going to show, like, a video of a yellow lab pulling like a baby seal. That's it for it. And they're going to be like, oh, my God, this is so good. I'm actually reading about this, like, saunas in, Finland are like a serious like it dates back for 8,000 years like traditionally families would all sauna together in the nude like everybody's just naked in a sauna and it's the idea is that

everyone's like equal in the sauna and this is who you really are it's a massive massive part of their culture we might get a sauna here guys what do you think about us getting a sauna just like if anybody's got to air the grievances that because a lot of times well not enough times I'm sure my producers would say that will like air our grievances and like just say whatever the fuck we we we think like negatively we got us on it'd be like a really safe zone to do that i like that you guys go with that there's no way making will take his shirt off he won't take his shirt when i was okay yeah when i was a good idea 15 no i was i was driving to work at that point so it's probably 16 or 17 i worked at a sport and health club right outside washington dc and we had

a nice steam room set up and uh i was typically in charge of I was like in the kids club. So I would just take all the kids and play sports with them. It was a great job. But occasionally I would have to go into the locker room, clean shit out there. And one time I remember my boss pulled me aside and she goes, hey, so there's a large man that's creating a disturbance in the steam room. Could you go in there and ask him to leave, please?

I was like, okay. And so I go in and it's this giant Persian dude, like huge, six foot five. Harry is shit and he's just pacing back and forth in the steam room slapping himself in the chest and yelling and I open the door and I see the scene that's in there and I was like nope turn around left I was like you pay me five dollars and 25 cents an hour I'm not going to extricate this man from this situation he's no chance like what are you going to do yeah if even if I said even if I said sir please leave we've received complaints he would just look at me I'd be like it's too slippery dude yeah physically try getting that fucking guy out of there like you just fall off yeah there was a man just the entire locker room culture in a gym like that is bizarre we had a the locker room culture we had a good stuff we had a in a public gym we had a hot tub that was like in the middle of the locker room and sometimes people would just bring chairs and just sit next to the hot tub fully naked just looking at people that were in they weren't like doing anything sexual they were just

hanging out nude not an orgy the open just like talking to the people that were in the hot tub just because i what once i what is the code because i just was in mexico at a spa just like this since you've worked in the industry i didn't know that about you um like i walked in to the uh i guess it was was it the i know it's acceptable in the steam room to just be balls out i guess at a country club but i'm not that that guy like where do you all stand on like walking in and somebody just being butt naked like a country club i i like to put a towel on. That's a personal preference. Um, yeah. If you go balls out in the steam room, that's your choice, something that I'm not super comfortable with. But yeah, when you're just

walking around and you're holding the towel or you've got the towel over your shoulder, but you're just walking around, that guy's got money. That guy's got money. Yeah, it's also an age thing too, I found that old guys, old guys love to be naked. I saw a guy one time blow drying his nut sack and his butt crack. He's using the blow, the hair dryer, right? The one that, like, you use on your head. I'm not talking about the hand dryer. He was just, he had a foot up.

He had a foot up on the sink pedestal. Just blow drying his nut sack with it. Totally comfortable. Having a conversation with somebody. I mean. And you say what as a staff? I don't say shit. I'm like,

okay, this is a week, this person is capable of anything. So from what I've noticed, I might be totally wrong, steam room, it's totally acceptable to be butt ass naked, towel or whatever,

because the idea is the water drips down from the sea. it's very hot and it cleans off the seats basically but in a sauna where it's a drier heat you need to bring a towel to at least sit on yeah it's totally backwards yeah sit on the towel but like the sauna is also comprised of like 70% water molecules that are just floating around so if like you got an uncovered sack i'm kind of worried about where the the water came from it's just it's not just going down the water's everywhere right dude it's like you're talking about steam because in a some in a steam sorry yeah steam in a steam room that's why i think like in a steam

room it's damn near unacceptable personally i think you should walk in there with shorts i'm a shorts in the in the uh steam room guy i usually go tell but yeah you should have something for sure it's not hot enough in there i don't think um that was uh you were actually guest on the steam room chris my first podcast that i the steam room yes on the steam room on serious it was on opi radio on series you know how much so i did two episodes as my first podcast two episodes and uh the understanding was that they would make me an offer to do a podcast after that i need to go back and look up exactly what the offer was that they made me to do four shows a month i think it was twenty five dollars a week to do it whoa and uh i remember getting that email from the senior

vice president of serious and i looked at it and i just i just i just laughed i was like this guy's got to be shitting me what the what what is that even like on what planet is this an acceptable offer to make that's not even acceptable in america no turns out turns out he was wrong about that one suck yeah good for you that's like your major moment like where you get to flex like on on top of the mountain i cannot believe somebody tried to pay you that little yeah now that's you would have torn up that deal in a year dude you want to know you would have wanted a new new deal immediately. Yeah, now I make $90,000 an episode. Yeah, good, good. This shows $55,000 an episode.

A little different, but I don't, I don't do this for the money. I do this because it's like a passion of mine. So I understand. I understand. All right, any other, any other phobias are you're in here, cool ways to die? Because I know, I want to be respectful of Chris's time on his birthday. He's probably got a lot of. Oh, my, yeah, so much going on, dude. I got, I got, I got, you know what? I did a whole day of work here. And then, and then this is my unwind time and you guys happen to be you know here at my untie unwind time so it just is what it is uh hold on i i'll say um what do you think about getting frozen like ted williams i have that written down in the maybe yeah that's to die that's not that post mortum no just post mortum

i don't mean like just the just the act of when you die being like hey freeze me i like that i like that idea because you never know what's going to happen in the future you might get brought back to life but then you also might get brought back to life and hate what the world has become i think that's kind of where i'm headed on this thing dude i've always thought getting your body jettisoned into outer space would be cool perfectly preserved floating around until some alien civilization finds you puts you in a zoo with their hottest alien well how do you or what if they put you in the zoo with like another human female and they want to like make you recreate your species like we did with pandas yeah It's like, imagine you just like, maybe that's why pandas don't fuck as much.

Maybe, like, we're just picking ugly pandas. And so just forcing, well, there's no chemistry between them, maybe. Yeah, on both sides. It might be like the chick is put into an enclosure with some, like, guy that can't get it up. And it's like, well, I'm not going to fuck you. What, what planet are we on? It's good, quite. It's not in the solar system.

Yeah. We don't know it yet. Yeah. Planet X. It's actually our planet, but like, like the tides going in and out. you washed away and then it came back when the plant was totally inhabited by a different species of human now what do you think about this chris we talked about disney on last week's episode just a lot of stuff about him and his life and and some of the movies uh there's that big

rumor that his body was frozen after he passed away a lot of people think that disney named the movie frozen what they named it as opposed to keeping any of the old traditional names that they had for that that folklore so that when people would disney walk disney frozen the first thing that would come up would be the movie and it would not have any trace of the theory that his body is frozen. Oh, well, yeah, just burying the widely known truth. Yes, just absolutely like and it's it's done a great job of doing that. It really has. You don't hear a lot of people talking about that. Walt Disney could be writing, ghost writing stuff right now. Yeah. He could be he could be here. I like saying. The only thing about Ted Williams is like they just froze his head, right? I think so.

So if Ted Williams wakes up, he's like, fuck. You know, like he's looking around. There's nothing he can do. He's attached to a robot. Like pollution's terrible, depending on what you believe. I personally believe it's going to be bad. And like a bunch of bad shit's happening. You just wake up with a head, like, and nothing else.

That's where he didn't think that through. He's got hands to? Yeah, they should keep his hands. They should keep his hands in his head. And then when Albert Pooholst dies, freeze his body and then put Ted's head and hands and create the ultimate baseball player. Wait, but realistically, we're going to get to the point where let's say Elon Musk gets the neuralink thing going and we can just plug in a brain.

At what point where it's like, let's say we get to the point where the neural link gets into the brain, works well, can download data, you know, give and receive data from a computer and just sort of gets that all going. Would you, at what point do you start plugging in the frozen brains? Like, is that, have we gotten to that point where we can communicate? with the dead brains that are just all the cells and stuff is there? Or do you wait until we have a whole and, you know, a robot body to also put on it? Well, that's the thing is since the technology is evolving, they're probably going to just try to cut some corners to see if it works. So they're

going to take certain people's brains and then try to do the neuralink thing with them. And then those people are going to wake up and be like, this is not what I paid for. They're like, well, we've got to try. We have to experiment somehow. Then you're just upgrading your body every Are turning your brain into a computer chip Is what you're saying And then just uploading your conscious Yeah you could make Yeah you could upload the conscience

Of a person with a frozen head Dude I'm gonna NFT this shit out of my conscience I have no idea What this stuff means anymore Words have ceased to have meaning to me I'm on the new wave That's great I think you're now rich

Yeah Like I think you're really rich now Exactly Figure out how if you could have Any other cool ways to die? I don't have... Dying a hero, just being known as a hero, would be cool. I had flying your space shuttle into the...

Or flying your airplane into a space shuttle to save the human race. I had win your last boxing match and your trainer takes you off life support, but you got a winner. I also had dying in the Titanic. Well, the Titanic was one I was thinking of. the most horrifying video I've ever seen came across my timeline last week and maybe I'm late to the party on this one

but since we only have seen the movie version of how that went down you don't realize and maybe again this could have just been me it was pitch black yeah I saw it too could not see anything so all you heard was horrifying screams and just like metal clanging around. Yeah, that sound, ugh.

Yeah, could not, but you like could not see a foot in front of you because it was pitch black in the middle of the ocean. I'm surprised anybody got on lifeboats. Survived at all. Huh. I mean, I wasn't serious. I was just doing the Leo bit. Like, I was just going to name a bunch of ways that Leo died in movies and see if you guys

notice. But now that we've been together, we had a lot of good ones. Yeah. We really did think a lot of good ones. ones. What a show. I think we covered a lot. Yeah, that would be terrifying. I'm looking at like a GIF and pitch black. Oh, dude, the, the, the, the, the boat sinking sound, like having something sinking next to you sounds so, like, gross to me. Yeah. Like, just being in the water and like, ah, it's going to suck me down in there. If you're just floating on a door nearby and you

just hear that until it's dead silent. Yeah. And then you're just like, well, I'm going to die. And then a boat happens to find you hours later. Like, no fucking thanks. We also did. We did a deep dive into the Titanic. I think that, I don't know, I'm almost to the mindset that the Titanic might not have really sunk. There's some conspiracies out there. Well, he thinks that a U-boat or a mine took it out.

Well, yeah, but yeah, exactly. But you understand what that implies? Yeah, so it did sink, but it was taken out by not an iceberg. And that's some very powerful people might have known about. I'm out of my depths here. I'm out of my depths on this one, guys. No pun intended. There's really, there's also, there was another Titanic theory. Well, I just want, I think that they should design Titanic 2 and build the exact same ship

and have the same amount of lifeboats on it and run it on the exact same course. Also role play. And so, yeah, everybody has to be dressed up in the old school way. You have to have the same like dress code. You have to have like the, you know, the great suites up top and the steerage down below. people would buy tickets on that shit like you have to take like six weeks to get to the point where you fake die

like it took forever right to get there everything took a long I'm just making shit up like but it took a long time it's not like it just took the worst part about dying of the Titanic is you had to like wait to die in the Titanic it wasn't like hey it's like getting on a ferry or something yeah no there were days you would have a couple

days apart but you would take the same route and ideally you would make it to the United States but that's part of the thrill of the adventure is we're going to do this we're even going to write god himself could not sink this ship on the bottom of it we're doing everything the exact same way and kind of seeing like it's the ultimate throat that's like wing suiting they wrote that i i would like to do that yeah on the ship they wrote that on that ship they're asking for it it might be an urban legend but i've i've

definitely heard that over the years if that was written so generally takes between six and eight days to actually cross the atlantic with modern technology and to be honest i don't think the speed of the ships have actually gotten that much slower I'm just saying wait it's gonna be an expensive party you know just drinking a lot of lodging

a lot of booze yeah a lot of rich people I've been thinking how much booze did they actually pack back when like you couldn't refill a lot dude when could you refill like do they have a serious question

though Billy I don't know yeah if you're on a cruise right now you know like you're on your longest stretch. Does anybody come and refill your your mini fridge? Like I don't mean that. I mean like macro the ship. Right.

Like do they have like a little like you know how they refuel? Yeah. The president's plane. Yeah. Air Force one with the little inputs. They do that with a cruise ship. Are you thinking that that's a thing that people do? I mean,

they probably ran out of booze a lot. I'm not sure. I have no idea. I've never been on a cruise. But like the idea of like every night in the Titanic, it seemed like they were playing the fiddle and steerage and just boozing. Yeah. Because you had to be drunk to, like, be comfortable back then.

It was like life was hard, even on the Titanic. Yeah. It was safer to drink beer and whiskey than it was to drink water. Yeah. Oh, so. No question. The total, the voyage was supposed to take five days and 18 hours. Wait, is that till they suck.

Go a long time, dude. Yeah, that's still too long. Yeah. Yeah, they're cut corners. That's, well, with that route. It's too long, guys. All right. Well, Chris, thank you for joining us.

Wow, only five days. Happy birthday. Hey, thanks, man. Happy birthday, bro. You're an old man. Thank you. Welcome to the club. Thank you.

Are you in the 37 club too? I am, yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's cool, man. So Big Cat is January 30th. I'm January 31st. We were born back-to-back days, 1985. Oh, what a fucking...

And then you came along. And then you came along later. Yeah, me and Big Cat are always, like, it's nice to think that no matter what happens, we're still younger than LeBron. We'll always be like a month younger than LeBron. you never know. Maybe we'll have a story NBA career. Maybe we'll hit a growth spurt. Who knows? That's so good, man. We are younger than LeBron. That's still time. All right. All right. I appreciate you guys. Good to see you. Chris. How we going?

Had fun. Billy, I'm going to send you those books, man. And I'm going to try to get on this mountain. Hey, bro. Yeah. I'm down. I just, I love how when I said it, he looked at PFT. Like, can I? No, absolutely. Please. No, because it's going to be. You're going to take Billy for two months? You're not going to work. You're going to go out of vacation to Africa. No, no. Billy is more than welcome to go on that trip. Chris Long was brought to you by our friends over at Three Chi.

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or do we want to save those? I have voicemails. I think we're out like four hours. We are at three and a half hours right now. Okay, so let's save the voice. Yeah, that's what we'll do on Thursday's episode. So this was a fun episode of macrodosing. Thank you guys for joining us.

And yeah, if you have any weird phobias, let us know. I'm interested to hear what some of the strange ones that you actually have are. The last thing, let me just read some weird phobias just to finish this off. A racquetbuterophobia is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your master. nomophobia is the fear of being without your mobile phone arithmophobia is the fear of numbers plutophobia is the fear of money uh really you have that cash cash money yeah no that's what they're talking about but

no this comes with like uh they they don't want to become super wealthy because they think wealth may bring like more money more problems like actually worried about that xanthophobia the fear of the color yellow um octophobia the fear of the number eight optopophobia the fear of opening one's eyes globophobia the fear of balloons

hippopopo monstrososo quepylophobia fear of long words okay that makes sense that's fucked up that that's what they called it so if you have to say like what your biggest fear what condition you have

you can't even say it hipp hippopoto monstros equipadalliofobia none of us talked about claustrophobia today and I honestly don't have a problem I I might be the opposite I might be claustrophilic agoraphobic when you're talking about like shooting when you're talking about like shooting gaps I was thinking about like the guys to like climb it into like those little caves I see sometimes on Instagram makes me sick yeah that yeah I hate that or the idea of being underwater

in an enclosed space yeah I don't think that's claustophobia I think that's one like fair just drowning. But also if I'm in a crowd sometimes I like and I'm like there's no way you can get out that that gets me a little I got claustrophobic when I went I was in Scotland a few years ago and I was going up in this tower in Edinburgh it's like this super old structure that they have there and it's a spiral staircase as you get to the top

and it gets so fucking narrow when you're up there I'm talking like it's probably four feet tall in terms of the ceilings and then the walls are just like barely your shoulders are like touching the walls as you're going up at the top it was probably a combination of that and also knowing that I was so high up at the same time. That terrified me and at that point I had to just turn around and go back

to it. I was like, I can't go up this narrow little enclosed staircase any longer. How did Billy list two number ones and not like the number one? Yeah. Chris Godecophobia is the number phobia. Fear 13. Oh yeah.

Like that's the one that like actually It's implemented into our lives, whether or not we have this phobia. Well, it's because Billy, Billy was born on Friday. I left it out. I should have found the seven phobia. Yeah, Pseptophobia. Fibaphobia, fear of adolescence, just scared of young people committing crimes.

There is, yeah, agoraphobia is being outside, right? Open spaces. Yeah. So, like, that can be, like, create, like the desert, like, no, which I get, like, I'm, My brain's so used to skylines and also trees. So like the, what would be horrifying to me would be like driving across like Nebraska at night with just like no semblance of a horizon or like when you guys were going through like Arizona, New Mexico, stuff like that.

Like no, no thanks. I would not do like it all just becomes one. Like you lose all sense of every everything. Yeah. There's. So you know who was agoraphobic? It's Paul Dene. for years years and years

she didn't leave her house at all that's how she got so good at cooking she would just cook for her family the entire time she was terrified of going outside would not do it how'd you shop I probably had somebody that did it for it but it was like a

it was an actual like very bad case of it that she had that she know I've heard about that really quickly umphalophobia fear of belly buttons linophobia fear of string poganophobia

fear of beards, chetaphobia, fear of hair, vestophobia, fear of clothing, ergo phobia, fear of work, decidophobia, fear of making decisions, esotrophobia, fear of mirrors, depnophobia, fear of dining with others, phobophobia, fear of phobias, that's a cool one. Phobias can describe as a free-floating anxiety where a person spirals into a circle of anxiety due to fear of, fear itself and that respect is a self-fulfilling prophecy phobophobia is commonly co-diagnosed with other types of specific phobias often associated with anxiety disorders people of phobophobia will often avoid social situations or other situations that can lead to anxiety when extremely will greatly interfere with individuals everyday life what is the fear of how long billy is going to keep listing phobia it's not even you can tell too it's not a pre-written list like you just Googled it. No, no, I, I, yeah, I just got found the list. Yeah, so, yes, so confirm what Coley just said. I found a list and it's in my list of notes. So, I'm emptying the clip on

this episode. Just, you can, can you just admit that Coley 100% was correct? Yeah, but I still found the list. No, no one, everyone knows that you found the list. Right. Yeah, it's correct. Okay. We're just, there we go. There we go. No, I know, I know, but I'm just making sure we got no phobia. I know, but right there. But right there in like a 10-second microcosm was a perfect glimpse into how your brain works. I love it. What did I do wrong?

You didn't do it? What did I do wrong? He said that's a list you found? He said what Billy's doing right now is he Googled a list of fears and now he's reading from that list. Well, I have it in my dock. I know. Okay.

Got it. So I captured the list. Okay. So Billy captured the list. Billy hunted the list and it was a successful hunt. And he's a hunter-gatherer. Yes. And now he's reaping.

his harvest. Exactly. Okay. We will see you guys on Thursday for nanodosing. Next week, I think I'm not going to be here next week. I'm going to be in New Orleans at the Final Four. So on that Monday, I don't know what the schedule is going to be, but I think that we're probably going to be busy during the day.

So Billy is in charge. I put him in charge of finding who else is going to join the show next week. He's got a couple people that he's going to ask. So it'll be a great episode. We've talked about it. Billy's ready to take the reins on this, so no fear, but we will see you guys on Thursday. Love you guys.