Macrodosing: Arian Foster and PFT Commenter - Pirates

Episode Date: October 5, 2021

On today's episode of Macrodosing, the crew sails out to international waters to find out more information on the history of pirates. From pirates of the past to the modern day ship robbers, you'll hear about it all. Who was the GOAT pirate? Was LimeWire really pirating? Also, what is going on with this trillion dollar coin? How big should it be? Will we try to steal it? Sit back, relax and enjoy all of this AND plenty more on today's show.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/macrodosing

Hey, macrodosing listeners, you can find us every Tuesday and Thursday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right, we're back. It's macrodosing, the only podcast that you can find on the internet. Podcast is something that you listen to. It's like a radio show for your computer. So we're happy that you started your podcast experience via macro dosing. I think it's an exploding medium. You'll probably find some other podcasts that start to come up and copy us and start to do their own radio shows on the computer in the not-so-distance. future. But until then, this is the only place that you can listen to people talk on the internet.

So it's pretty cool. And a great place that you can go visit if you're looking to talk to somebody would be BetterHelp. That was a nice segue. Did you guys hear that? Better help is a great, great, great service. We always talk on the show about mental health, about how it's important to be able to have discussions, be able to talk about things instead of keeping them bottled up. And BetterHelp is the best way to do it. If you've been thinking about going to therapy, If you've been thinking about talking to somebody, it's not scary. There should be no stigma that comes with therapy. It's good to get your feelings out to talk to somebody.

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Betterhelp.com slash dose. Okay. We're doing pirates this week. Pirates, pirates, pirates. Look at me. Look at me. I am the captain now. That's really all I know about piracy

So Billy put together a great fact sheet Which I'm sure we'll be dipping into If we can handle the power of the fact sheet this week But before we get into that What's new with everybody? What's going on down? What's up? You're in Houston now, Aaron?

I'm in Portland right now, Portland, Oregon. You're just all over the planet. You're Carmen San Diego. Yeah, I'd be trying to stay mobile, man. It's a wild time we live in. Don't let them pin you down. What's going on in Portland? Nothing.

I just need to get away. way, man. Got a lot of drama going on in Houston and personal life. So I just dip out and see some wildlife and eat some good food. Are you going to Chaz or that like autonomous zone in Portland? I don't know. What is that? Do you know what I'm talking about?

I think you're talking about Seattle is where they had Capitol Hill autonomous zone. There's probably something in Portland that's similar. I'm pretty sure there's a place, a couple square blocks in Portland, which is basically like sovereign nation where they've been, you know, doing a lot of you know protesting like crazy stuff have we figured out why portland is a hotbed for right wing extremists and also antifa to just like meet up i feel like they i feel like it's like um like an mLS rivalry where they just agree to meet up in portland once every three months and just have a fight on the streets of portland why is that ground zero for everything for my understanding uh Portland is a lot

like a Houston or a Dallas or something like that where it's like the city the actual city is really extremely liberal right or like you know quote unquote liberal um but the outskirts are not as as such and so it's like this it's like this battleground for ideology um yeah from from my understanding like i don't know Portland history like that actually i i was somebody told me the history of Portland it's actually pretty interesting but um i don't want to butcher it for the people that are from that, to my knowledge, that's what's going on. So, like, the inner city is, like, really liberal and, like, the outskirts are kind of, like, conservative and, and, and, and, like, here at West, and especially in the Northwest, like,

the liberalism is, like, it's, like, it's, like, it's extreme, as far as, um, uh, ideology is concerned. So, like, they want to, like, abolish, defund the police, like, defund the police, like, shit like that. And, like, conservativeism here is, is, is extreme as well. So that's just like a breeding ground for conflict. Yeah, got it. So it's in Portland, it's the Red House occupation, not Chas.

Chaz is Seattle, but there's another one in Portland. It's like Antifa. The Red House? Yeah. Okay. Wasn't that, isn't Red House? That's a Jimmy Hendricks song, I think. No idea.

Yeah, good tune. We got the whole squad here. We got Billy Football, Big T, Avery, Mad Dog, Coley, Arian. Everyone's here this week. We're going to try to get to the main topic today. My goal is to get to it slightly quicker than last week, not to force anything. Although people did really enjoy the discussion between Big T and Arian. I got equal feedback from people being like Big T's a fucking idiot and other people being like Arian's a fucking idiot.

So I'm glad that we were able to have a civil conversation about it. And I actually, I enjoyed it quite a bit. What do you guys think? Looking back on it, you happy with the way things went? Uh, yeah, big T, yeah, took so much my dog, man. Um, most, most online, and this goes back from when I first started having any kind of relevancy on the internet due to how I carry a ball over a line. When people talk shit on the internet, 99% of the time, they just look for attention.

Like, when they, when they poke at people, so like Big T, like, when they, like, big T's a dumbass or whatever. Like, some people might actually feel that, but for the, the most part, motherfuckers just be like, they just want attention. They just wanted to interact with you. And when you do interact with you, they're like, oh, no, I mean, I don't mean it like that, man. I'm like, yeah, I bet, bro. So it's all love as long as we keep it peace.

I feel like those conversations need to be had because, like, I'm not going anywhere with my idea. I've got to get no big T side of it. So it's like, we got to be here, we got to exist. Big T, you feel the same way? Yeah, I thought it was good. I didn't listen back to it, but I remember, yeah, I liked it. It's, yeah, like Eric said,

it's good to have conversations like that. with people that you know like you're cool with and you can you can talk like that to that conversation there was recently a facebook whistleblower who uh on 60 minutes who was talking about how uh facebook was misleading the public on progress against hate speech violence of misinformation so very topical to what we were talking about did anyone else see that yeah i saw her um that she said like everyone should boycott facebook basically yeah as facebook is down right now we are all fairly boycunning Facebook. Finstah's down?

Finsta, Insta, Insta, Insta, Facebook, everything's down right now. Yeah, I mean, I think most of us could have just told you after, you know, years and years of being in and around

Facebook and being on the platform, that they definitely monetize people getting pissed off at each other. I would say that the majority of the interactions that I've seen on Facebook are just like people comment on other people's comments and having arguments online yeah the so a woman on 60 minutes last night said that or Facebook is breaking down society from within so it's just like duh and then

the woman that was at the senate hearing last week where that senator I forget who he is but i've seen him before yeah and was like are you getting rid of finsta and she had to explain to him that slang and not an actual product that Facebook supplies to young children it is it's so dumb. That sounds like a guy whose granddaughter got caught with a Finsta. And then her parents told him about it. Like, yeah, we found her Finsta online. Bring Facebook to the Senate over there. She's taking risky pictures. And then her grandfather's like, can you delete my granddaughter's pictures from the internet forever? And then he got pissed. He was like, oh, well, the woman from Facebook was like, well, Finsta is a slang term made up. Like, we can't stop people from how they use

Instagram. And he was like, I don't think that's an answer. Well, she responded back. She goes, Finsta is a type of account. He goes, good. Then get rid of that type of account. She's like, well, no, that's like not. And she gave a bad answer. She was trying to, like, not make him feel stupid.

She should have been like, no, you're an idiot. Like, that's not a thing. Yeah. How do you even respond to that question, though? I don't know. She went off on a tangent about how like they're working to improve security and all stuff. She should have told him off.

Yeah. I mean, I would have been like, if you're in front of me and I'm a senator, Can you, is there a way to shut down people that reply all to group emails? And then, and that's actually a more relevant question. I think that affects more people than Finston. You know, you kind of want to bring back, like, those chain mail that you used to get in like middle school and stuff. Sending letters? No, like when you used to like say, send this to 20 people, you know.

Or you get 17 years of bad luck. Yeah, I think we do. Why do you, why do you want to bring that? I think it would be very instrumental in getting people to. Subscribe to Macrodose. Yeah, good point. Like I was thinking about. I disagree.

That shit is the first generation of spam calls, bro. Fuck that shit. Yeah, but I mean, it was like one of the first tweets, you know, to a bunch of people. Tandy fans out there. I'm not involved in that shit. If you get that shit, that ain't me, though. I think we could start a little grassroots email. See, Billy, you don't, you're too young to even know what the original chain letters were,

where people would actually send a letter to your house. and then you would have to take it copy that letter like take it to Xerox or to Kinkos and copy it and then send 10 copies out write envelopes like write addresses on envelopes by stamps

put it in the mail and then send it to 10 more people I remember I got one of those when I was a kid sent to me by a relative and I was like dad what is this? He's like oh that's bullshit I was like why did why did my cousin send this to me my adult cousin sent this to me it was it was the most wasteful you knew that somebody had nothing going on in their life when they took the time to make copies of a physical letter and then mail it to you before the internet i feel like that was most of the world like i was like i saw this meme of like it was like a norman rockwell painting of a guy like in his kitchen like drinking it was like an old budwit uh some sort of beer commercial and the catcher was like guy gets home from uh eight hours of doing something excel does in two seconds yeah

to his house and, like, wiping kids and can afford all of it. And I was just like, like, damn, like people, like when people used to work and had work ethic, it was just random stupid shit. Yeah, just like is so automated now. My guy, I put work ethic in quotation. That's just great.

Yeah, that's classic Billy right there. They used to, like, go to work and do stuff. They, their bosses would give them tasks and they would do it. There were no content creators. No, no, that's what I'm saying. I mean, like, I mean, I do agree the world was, the world was trash before the internet. It was shit. It was pretty shit.

Guys were making six figures just doing like simple math all day. Yeah. And that was like, and they act like that was like such a prestigious job. Filling out a ledger. Yeah. It was a procedure job back then. They were making five figures, but in today's times, it was like seven figures. Like all this house is $17.

Cool. I'll take that. My family will have this forever. Norman Rockbow paintings were seriously straight-up memes. They were precursors to memes. Like the guy with a giant turkey for his family. Those would be some fucking fire memes. This is a random ask question.

Why are stamps a thing? Pay. Yeah, you got to pay for the postal service to deliver shit. It helps for us. So stamps are just a mail currency? Yeah. They actually count as legal tender currency. really yeah that's a fascinating i never knew that i was always one because i never i've never really

mailed anything like that before well i've never paid attention i guess oh i i saw that you finally checked your mail erin yeah and you had a mean note from the from the poster worker i don't think it was mean man because i know my mail lady right so she's super sweet man but i have a thing i don't check mail like i hate checking mail 99% of shit i get in the mail you throw away like it's ads. It's nonsense. It's like it's letters that you, like that, like the hospital sends or somebody said that isn't actually the information that you actually need. Those are bills. You're talking about bills. No, and sometimes it's not, most of the times it's not bills. Like, bills are, all my bills are automated, right? Like, I know I'm in a specific group,

but all my bills are automated. So I don't, I don't get bills through mail. Like, it's all automated. So, like, anything I get in the mail is all garbage. I throw it away. So, like, I never check it, but sometimes I get packages. And, they just sit there and so this last month I hadn't checked the package and I had a home girl send me some some hot sauce and ooh which by the way

if you haven't had Truff hot sauce T-R-U-F-F it's fuck it's by far some of the best hot sauce in the world okay but anyway she sent it and it got sent back to the post office because I hadn't checked my mail in the month and the lady left a message that says you haven't checked you mentioned she underlined a month

I guess it's a little inconvenient because then she has to take it to the post office I get that. And maybe I'll be a little bit more cognizant to ease her workload. But I just, I hate it. I hate chicken mail. I love the fact that it took you not getting a hot sauce delivery to finally go out to your mailbox. Be like, all right.

The time has come. We had a good run going, but I need this trough. Truff is delicious, though, man. I'll check it out. Yeah, Billy? No. Oh, Billy was giving me the look where he's got his mouth open and it looks like he's about to say something. So there was something going on upstairs.

Yeah. I still haven't been able to get a credit card. okay the credit bureau the credit bureau has basically sent to me that they have zero record of who i am what my credit is my social it's uh weird i might have a solution for you billy what so um my boyfriend was in thomas weekend and he just signed up for a credit card at dinner and they gave to him and it was just a discover one that's just like i think i've learned where where do they get out credit card no no no no no he just signed up like online in two seconds and discover yeah so where Giving up credit cards.

Dinner and a credit card. Okay. This is a question for the people who have money in this room. Is Discover a bad credit card? No, I don't think Discover's a bad credit card. Okay, because then people were telling us that, like, Discover is, like, for people who are, like, don't have any money. Because they'll, like, approve anyone.

They have zero credit. I think I have to do that. So you basically sign up and it gave, this might just be how credit works, and I don't know. but they signed up and you put in your income. Apparently everyone lies on your income. So you get a higher credit limit. Is that true? I wouldn't do that.

That sounds like a terrible idea. I want to make it clear that I didn't do that. IRS do not come from me. I feel like that's a before the internet type thing. People used to lie so much before the internet. You fill in your income and then they just said, okay, here's your credit card. It's on the way and this is your credit limit.

There's not just a thing is a bad credit card unless you can't make the payments. like that's it like so like there are there are definitely hierarchies in like so like i have an american expression american express is like the upper echelon of credit and the reason why it's because it's the perks that they give it's the it's the it's the rates right and it's the like so like say like i was i was saying the other day like when we were talking about like i had like an eighteen hundred dollar purchase that they that they called me about that i was like no i didn't do that they didn't ask any questions because of my record they just they wiped it from my account i didn't have to pay for it come to find out i actually did buy the shit i just

I forgot about it. But they just wiped it. They didn't ask any questions. They'll have a concierge. Like, say, if I have like a, say, have like an event I want to go. Say I want to go to like a football game or something like that or a concert and it's late or something like that. They have a concierge and I can call and be like, you have any, they reserve tickets

and stuff like that for people. But that's like upper echelon, right? Yeah, Billy, they're not going to do that for you. Yeah. Yeah. So there are, there are perks, but it's not a bad credit card. Like, there's no such thing that's bad. Right.

Like, people who make. you know, a regular living, a day-to-day, they shouldn't worry about, like, how fancy the credit cards. Others don't worry about just making the payments, $500 a month, set your limit, try not to go past a limit, but do, do, get one paid off and just monthly expenses. Now, and you'll be fine. Quick question, how long, how many years does it take to build up the credit to get to that point?

I mean, everybody's different, right? So, like, mine, like, so when I came out, uh, a college, I would, I would, We talked about this briefly on the last credit episode, but my shit was like 500 something. It was the worst. I had a, I had a, I had overdue bills from when I was fucking eight years old from when my mom and dad put shit in my name. Like, it was horrible. And it was really bad.

So I would say within about like a two, three year period, I saw like a jump from like to like a 600, and then like 800, right? It gets fast. But like you, but you have to spend, right? So you have to, like I was making like a lot of purchases and I had the capital of back it. But they were like, my people. we're just like just buy it with a credit card and we'll pay it back that way we can build your credit of okay yeah you just say the only difference between like a good bad credit card is you know

some give you cash back some give you perks for travel they give you miles to fly so if i were to go back and tell myself like five years ago six years ago what i should do differently i would just i would get a card that had sick perks as far as like frequent flyer miles go and then every time i traveled somewhere for work, I would have them use my card to put that flight on and then get reimbursed. And I'd probably be able to have like, you know, just an insane amount of frequent flyer miles right now and go anywhere I wanted. But I'm also, it turns out very lazy. So never got around to filling out that sort of paperwork. But, Billy, you are, you're a guy that I feel like credit card company should be actively courting you. Yeah. You're their target market.

It's like, this guy spends $2,000 a month on frog food. And if we can just get, that account nailed down then that would probably make one credit card salesman's month but i don't i don't know i don't know how to like get you from zero to to 500 i literally was calling the credit bureau and they don't have a record of my social like i'm i'm like jason born that seems like more of a you issue yeah than a than a young person issue because i know i got a i think there's something wrong with it's weird you know what you got to do you got to rent a library book and then just not return it because they'll they'll certain find your credits they'll find your everything that that they need to know about you if you owe

them money yeah so you need to like just make it make a quick stink oh some oh library 50 bucks after like three years and then your credit score will be you know like a 510 and then you can start building it up for yeah the thing is i went to my bank to like meet in person to sort it out because i just kept on getting like like stonewalled on the internet and the guy was like yeah i've never seen this before like we have no record of your credit like can you put it like on your parents i think i had this i think i have to co-sign with someone that's what i that's what i enough about credit you know who actually used stamps and had a postal system pirates all right billy that was a nice segue but i'm not quite done talking yet

that was good though we'll circle back to that you tried to commandeer the program you tried to pirate macrodote i am the captain though you just You just tried to buccaneer this fucking show. Before we get to piracy, I had one thing I want to talk about because there's a lot of stuff that we talk about on the show where we just completely talk out of our ass. And this, I think, is going to maybe be the one that takes the cake and beats them all.

Because I've been reading online about how the U.S. government is going to run out of money in October and how the way to get past that is if we just mint a trillion dollar coin, which is apparently something that, the president of the United States has the power to do if he wants to mint a fucking trillion dollar coin i don't know how any of this works full disclaimer i think it'd be fucking cool to have a trillion dollar coin but everybody in the world would then try to steal that coin right imagine where do you spend a trillion dollar coin though just to pay off debt it's got it you have to

buy a shitload of weapons and drugs like from a from a foreign government one of the ones that we don't do business with, you know, maybe from who's on the sanctions list, right? North Korea. I bet you, you go over to North Korea with a trillion dollar coin in your hand. You'll live like a king for the rest of the rest of your entire life. Well, this is, how is that a solution? How is that a solution to being in debt with ourselves in various other countries? I don't know. No idea, but it sounds cool. So I studied this in school, the national debt, right? Like, we don't actually have to ever pay it off. We just have to pay the interest payments on it. So that's a much smaller number than the actual debt.

Yep. And we're just taking it out from like, so for example, you know how they always said Donald Trump was like, had tons of debt and like went bankrupt several times? That was because he would take on a ton of debt, use that money to make more money. And then if he couldn't pay the interest payments on that debt, then you just declare bankruptcy. The thing is, the U.S. as a country like Donald Trump's companies, can go into as much debt as they need to. without having to default or like go into bankruptcy because we are the government

and we can make the money. Yeah. And as long as we raise the debt ceiling too, we have to keep doing that. Well, the debt ceiling's arbitrary. It's just like a limit that Congress put in ourselves to be responsible. But now that we're off the gold standards

and we can just print as much money as we want and just like play monopoly. We've got a AAA credit rating. And as long as we make our payments on time, then we can continue to get money loaned to us. I'm just curious how minting this coin would work. I'm more interested in the specifics of who designs the coin. What is it made out of?

What's the security like around the coin? Can I steal it? What other than I steal it? What like why are we a discussing all of these things so publicly? Not us as a podcast. Us as a government. Like this feels like stuff that should not hit our desk at all. Right.

And B, if we can do this shit, like what is money? why have any limits at all i have a ceiling why we're living in a simpsons episode and also rush hour two where we're like just stealing the the printing press and just making as much money as we want clearly none of this matters yeah two things when they say we're going to run out of money what does that mean so that's like that's another thing where we're not actually going to run out of money but people are saying the federal government's going to run out of money and and well okay yeah and then my second one is they're talking about like the only problem is we have to raise the debt right and they're blaming they're going back and forth with like mccano and all this shit if we have a

democratic president senate and house why why is this even an issue they should just be able to do it well there's the the filibuster so yeah i have to have a super majority basically have to have 60 votes in the senate now which the democrats don't have okay so then billy just found a fact uh do you hear that noise that was that noise right there was billy reading something that he finds intriguing Avery, you should have a sound make of Billy's noises and just playing periodically through the episode. That's what that's the sound of the light bulb that goes on above Billy's. No, I just found all the largest denominations of currency the U.S. is printed. And I just found $500 note.

And then there was a $1,000 note, $5,000 note, $10,000 note, and $100,000 gold certificate. I just sent it into the group chat. Who was on the $100,000? the 100,000. This looks like Wilson. Yeah, Wilson. They were all printed. The last time they were printed was 45. Last time they were distributed was 1969. So it was the 100,000 gold certificate was used only for official transactions between federal reserve banks and not circulated among the general public. This note cannot legally be held by currency note collectors. So the gold certificate was specifically between like federal reserve banks. And I think that means. like two different federal like what is a federal reserve bank like is fort knox a federal reserve bank that's where they keep the gold yeah so i feel like it's one of those things another thing we shouldn't have publicized yeah there's actually so many people who don't think the gold inside fort knox is real and it's like fake like you know the fake brick in the gambling cave or like fake

brick walls like the gold is just a bunch of like you know fake metals and they don't go past because the fort knox is just a room filled with gold like stacked wall to wall like they think just the first row is real and then everything behind it there's nothing who do you think who do you think should be on the trillion dollar coin that's the big question i'm not as hung up on who should be on it as much as i am the size of it like i think this needs to be like a fucking manhole cover. Like you can't make this like a quarter or even like a 50 cent piece.

Like it, you can't have this thing like falling in couch cushions like this. Little, little Yaddy had that little diamond in his forehead, like 24 million. Oh, yeah, a little oozy, my bad. And the diamond in his forehead for like 24 million. So it could be like, you know what I mean? Something like this.

I got the perfect person that isn't a Democrat, Republican, libertarian, anything in between a political expression that doesn't like this dude. He's the only non-partisan person on the planet right now. The rock. Everybody loves the rock.

The rock has to be on a trillion dollar point. I don't mind that. I don't mind that at all. What if what if it was like the little oozy diamond, but the coin had to be implanted in the president's forehead, whoever the president. So Joe Biden is rolling around with a trillion dollars. But remember, remember currency is not always representative of its value.

Okay, yeah. Good point. Of course. We're talking about Joe Biden walking around with a trillion dollar coin. So like the trillion dollar coin. So like the trillion dollar coin trying to get an oatmeal cream pie with the trillion dollar coin out of it. But it doesn't have to be. And shuffling away and complaining to the manager.

Hey, Jack. This thing, my biscuit. There's apparently talks that this could be completely wrong, but that the trillion dollar coin is the size of 50 quarters stacked up on top of each other. So it's like a cylinder. So it's like this verbal, but like. I think a seller is a bad idea for a coin. But then on Billy's point, it also says that the government can, like, issue a coin and it can be any size and they deem the value. So this one says it's like the 50 coins stacked up on top of each other.

But then at the same time, they could also just give you like a penny and they just put trillion trillion dollars. This is if, like, when you, it's just the dumbest fucking, if we make, aliens looking at us from a person like, what the fuck are y'all talking? Why do y'all do this stupid shit? This is just dumb. You know who? So this trillion, so this trillion dollar coin thing, I think it was raised by one of these politicians that don't really know too much about fiscal like law in practice because it's, it was raised in 2011. It was re-raised in 2020. And basically every time it gets raised, the Federal Reserve and Tredgerie are like, we can't do that.

Like we can print a bunch of money, but like that's, you can't do that. What's the difference between printing money and then making a coin? One big coin. It's the exact same thing. Unless this might be the fatal flaw. What if we just make a trillion dollar coin and then China is like, we just made a two trillion dollar coin. And then you just get yourself into like a battle of the different razor companies going back and forth,

putting one extra blade in it i think is the idea that the trillion dollar coin will get zero usage like no yeah no shit yeah but i hope i hope this i hope but that's why it's like wouldn't be like healthy for the financial system i hope this is a thing and it's the plot for national treasure four like they got to steal the coin uh-huh all i care about if we make a trillion dollar coin i also want an accompanying trillion dollar vending machine and we put the coin and we put the coin into the vending machine and it's like a TV special and we just watch the the debt ceiling like get raised like on the ship gets stock yeah yeah something we put the coin in I don't know how they this is somebody else's job figure out how that happens and then we just watch the debt like I don't

know if this is raising the debt ceiling it's getting rid of the part of the debt I don't know but whatever it does I want something to happen on the machine I don't know why I agree they should you know that giant clock that they have in Times Square that shows national debt yes they should give the coin to Jim Kramer and he should get on like a step ladder and go up there and put it into the building and then the thought goes down to zero immediately. That would be very satisfying to watch. Then we all rejoice. And then we all rejoice. Everyone's got great credit and we don't have to worry about anything else anymore. Health care is still expensive. For some reason, I feel like the vending machine would just distribute like nukes. I don't know why. I feel like it would be

in the government and just like they put in the big coin and just nukes would come out. Yeah. Oh, here's an idea why don't we just mint a trillion dollar bitcoin we don't have to actually do the work we have to mine it yeah just just say that we did it's literally that simple you could you could just have the nation's biggest who's the the head of uh computer geeks in this country right now would you give that to mus it's he's not really going through a bad break up he's a car geek yeah who's the biggest computer nerd gates gates gates steve cornacky Zuckerberg zuckerberg yeah i think zucker It's an absolute puppet. Just here's what you do.

Just have Joe Rogan announced on his podcast, yeah, we just minted a trillion dollar Bitcoin. It's pretty cool. And then everyone believes it. And then boom, problem solved. You don't actually have to do any of this stuff as long as everybody believes that it's been done. Yeah.

So looking up like what would actually happen, we minted a trillion dollar coin. It would be analogous to securities purchases that are part of quantitative easing. And basically it would increase the money supply so much that. there would be insane inflation. The economy would overheat and there would be increasing expectations of future inflation. Yeah, because I think the cat is kind of out of the bag at that point. If you just say one day, I'm going to mint a trillion dollar coin, then people will be like, okay, well, you're just, you're going to mint another one or you're going to mint a bigger coin. And the round number of trillion dollars is kind of like a red flag. It's like that's exactly

what we need right now, like exactly one trillion dollars. You know how much a trillion dollars is? A thousand billion. A trillion dollars. Is it really a thousand billion? Well, I know a million is a thousand billion. I mean, billions a thousand million. Yeah, I saw somebody tweet the other day.

I think it was, I actually think it was Wade Phillips. You know Wade Phillips, right, Aaron? Yeah. Yeah, the football coach. Man, is one of the last names I thought you were going to bring up into this guy. Yeah, I didn't see that comment. Yeah. Now I'm intrigued, though.

Let's go to our senior economics, or statistical correspondent Wade Phillips and he had an interesting tweet the other day. One million seconds equals 11.7 days. One trillion seconds equals 31,7909 years. Holy shit. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know if that's true. That is true. Is it? A million seconds is like two weeks. A billion seconds is like 35 years and a trillion seconds is like 37,000. Something like that. That's a big time mind-blown stat that Wade. Thank you, Wade, for letting us know about that.

Holy shit. So that's a lot of dollars. So, I mean... We might need a Wade Phillips fact daily. That was pretty interesting. Yeah, notifications on. Before we get to piracy, and by the way, there would definitely be a pirate that would steal the trillion dollar coin.

Oh, booty. I mean, everybody, everyone in the world would be trying to steal that trillion dollar coin. Yeah. Which is kind of cool. It's like the ultimate game of Capture the Flag. But it'd be kind of stupid, though. Yeah, that's a kind of stupid. Once you get it, then what?

You can't do anything. Well, maybe you could take out a, no, because it's stolen. And you know, like, it's hot potato. Like, if somebody goes out of the Union, just take out a loan. It's pawned it. Use it as collateral and a huge trillion dollar loan. Take it to pawn star. So what do you want to do with this?

You want to, you want to pawn it? Can only do $500 billion. Yeah. That's half the price. I got a guy, he's an expert in this sort of thing. He'll come to take a look at it. You mind hanging out for a second? Ben Bernanke.

He comes out the back. But before we get to piracy, I had one football-related question, and then we'll get to the Tennessee minute, then we'll get to piracy. But, Arian, I was watching the Giants play yesterday. Sorry about that. Giants versus Saints. And the Giants ended up winning.

Sequin was on my fantasy team, so he finally came to. He played really well yesterday, and they started doing this thing where they split. split them out wide a bunch. And I was wondering from your perspective, because you used to play out in the slot sometimes. You had decent hands. Why don't more teams, what?

What? Avery, please pull up. Chicago Bears 2012. Diving, goal line catch with no gloves on in the rain. Don't disrespect my hands like that. Diving, goal on, catch, no gloves in the rain. No gloves in the rain. Would you tape your face?

fingertips in the rain or just go straight no no i'm a running back no so no no gloves was that a normal thing for you or did you usually wear gloves in the rain i took the gloves off because it it was just i i trusted my you know god gave us these um did he now oh yeah oh yeah god allowed us to evolve from fish to that when our hands get soaked uh they They naturally look like aquatic species. That's true. That's why we're raising up in the bathtub. But anyway, the hands, I trust more than the gloves.

So anytime it rained, I just tape the wrist and I took the gloves off. I'm trying to find this clip. You got it? Oh, what's there, dog? All right. I'm going to have to maybe I'll refine my earlier comment once I watch it. Nick said, me said, decent hands. Boy, you're crazy.

Yeah. Well, get to your original question. Okay, I'm watching it right now. Matt Schaub. Now, you didn't give Matt Schaub credit for a great pass on this. That is a great question. That is a great way to put that thing right outside of Lance Briggs and right in my pocket. That was good shit.

Okay, that was a good catch. Wait, on, on. The Texans have this as their 50-second best play of all time. Is that one of the time? There's no chance the Texans have more than 50 top plays to begin with. So certainly it's higher than 52. I can't call. I don't make those calls.

Man, no, I just, I just, when my number was called, I did what I could. That was a bat game. It was a 10 to 6 final. I mean, that's a, that's a grind out. No fucking passing, bro. It was windy as shit, raining, and they stacked the box 8 to 9 every fucking play. That was a good defense you were playing against, too. Yeah, that was Erlack.

And that was Peanut Tillman, Lance Briggs. It had a squad. I'm going to ask something. Was this reviewed? Bang. I'm not entirely convinced. Every scoring players review big Terrence back then. If that was called incomplete on the field, it wouldn't have been overturned.

That's all I'll say. No. You don't know shit about football. Did you survive the ground with a catch? So you land on the ball, but the ball doesn't move, Big T. That's a catch. It's close. I tuck it and it doesn't move on the ground.

I tucked it before it's probably a catch. It's probably a catch. That was before we did. And big hater vibes on that couch, cousin. All right. So you had above average hands. Okay. So you want me to do another one?

I can give you another example, I'm just saying. You had good hands for running back. You were able to catch the ball. Let's put up. I get it to you like this. I was before my time as far as receiving running backs is concerned. Right. And this is why.

When we was in training camp, I used to line up against the ones. And I mean, our one corner, right? And I used to run routes on them. And I used to dog cats. I'm just saying, I was before. They would not do it in Gary Kubiak's scheme. Like, there just was no room for that. Like, and so he didn't really, there was a couple times he split me out.

But, like, his scheme was his scheme. It wasn't until Bill O'Brien got there, that they started really moving me around. And I had, I was going to option routes and everything. And that's when my game opened up a little bit more. But then I had got, I got hurt. So that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, you got to check around for me, man, you know what I want. I walk it back a little bit. So you know, you and Seekw.

is a little bit like that where he's got he has good hands he's like a legitimately good how come he gets good hands and i get above average i don't understand but go ahead i will i will preface this what i think say quam bart is one of the most talented running backs that this league has seen he's just he's got the injury bug right now so you're the perfect person to ask about this because i think that more head coaches should take those types of running backs and have them just run routes on the outside if you can't be tackled by a cornerback in the open field when you have the ball you should be able to put those same moves on a cornerback and get open when you're running a route, right? Or is there like a difference that I'm not aware of? I mean, that's what they do,

right? So corners have great hips, right? And so they're good at telling, but they're not good at being physical with a running back. They can be physical with other wide receivers. Some wide receivers. Like, you can't be physical with. But it's a different dynamic when you're one-on-one and you're standing up and you're trying to do this rather than running at somebody. Like, it's a different dynamic but you're not wrong in theory and this is this is this is why i used to lobby for this right i went to i went to same i went to garry kubek and i was like because we have a five wide package right and i used i used to say why the fuck do you take me out on the five wide package that makes no sense to put in your second tight end right your second tight end is your fifth receiver

who is nowhere near as athletic as me can't catch better than me can't run routes better than me can't exploit matchups better than me why am i off the field on third down in a five wide like this doesn't make any sense and like once i kind of expand my position i was more i was i was more so involved in that in that passing game in the five wide option but not as much as i nowhere near as much as i should have been football is based on tradition period they think they they come from systems so like whoever like uh let's see like kububert or like Kyle shannonhanahan came from kubiak kubiak came from mike shanahan right and he came from like a west coast offense like it just it just keeps going back and back and they have their traditions

and they have their tweaks on their offensive schemes. But for the most part, it's rare that you have innovative coaches that do things out of the box. It's just very rare. They do what works and what works is what I was taught, and that's it. There's no linebacker that can guard Sequin Barclay out of the bathroom. They just can't do it. And they need to exploit that all the time.

And that's what they try to do most of the time, but they just get stuck in tradition. Like, there's going to be a coach somewhere along that breaks all of this shit up, one of these days. But they just stuck in their way. He's existed. Who's it? Come on, now.

We've been throwing a running back for the last 20 years. Patriots. We've been distantly. Yeah, you're right. They do. They do. But what I don't like about them is they

before you. Everything. Yeah. That's the way they treat their players, man. It's like they do innovative. They do innovative shit, but they're more so, like you can be replaced, which is obviously not true.

It, well, like, we play both sides of the coin on that because like James White's been here. for a decade. I'm blanking on the receiving running back we had before that. Shane Vareen was here for a long time before that. Kevin Falk was. Yeah, Kevin Falk was before that. So it's like we've only had those three guys play that role for the last literally 20 years.

So it's like we, if, if you're here and it's like, oh, yeah, like Matthew Slater's been here since I believe the late 1970s. If you're one of Bill's guys, like Hightower will never leave. like he keeps those guys he just won't like chanler jones is a great example like someone who's still a monster still in his prime we just knew like why are you going to pay i think paying top dns is is is tough roster building to begin with but uh it's it's it is hard when you have to give up someone in his prime just because you want to pay like i saw something a few years ago it's like the patriots pay the most five to seven million dollar contracts in the league everyone else is pretty much working off the two extremes of minimum players and like like the bears for

example like calio mac makes so much money it's hard to roster build in middle meanwhile we're just hitting all these like um and dolas like five million dollar guys and it's hard to argue against it i was just looking at the texans top 100 to see if there are any more harry and foster plays and you were ranked number 17 for your 231 yard three touchdown game against the colts remember that one That wasn't even a play, though. Yeah, it's not a play. It doesn't make any sense. Yeah, it's just, I think it was just like, I think it's just Texans top 100 moments.

Like moments. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was a pretty good moment. It was all right. They got a lot of sentimental shit in there. Like, I remember one, like, with the Texans, like, love is like the first time they beat the Cowboys. And it was like, you still was like, what, like 3 and 13 that year?

Like, who is the fuck? I'm looking over the Presbyterian Bluehost football team They're the team that's coached by the guy that doesn't punt He's the closest that we've that we've come recently to seeing a guy that just looks at the game of football Completely differently from everybody else He doesn't punt never doesn't punt he actually punted against Campbell And onside kicks every time yeah he on side kicks every time He won like eight state championships in Arkansas in a row

he has like 20 different onside kick packages doesn't he yeah it's insane like it's crazy and their season i'm all at pfd but they've now that he's in college that season's been crazy so they won their first game 84 to 43 they won their second game against tbd 68 to 3 and then they lost to campbell 72 to nothing so when it goes bad it can go really really bad when you're going for it fourth and 30 from your own five-yard line. Things can turn around pretty quickly on it. And then he lost to Dayton last week, 43 to 63. So he's fun to watch.

But the other thing that I think, I might have read an article that said that he's considering implementing my system, which I've been trying to push for the last five years or so. Every time I talk to an NFL coach, I always tell them about this because I'm firmly convinced it's going to be the future of offensive football to implement plan. design downfield laterals, not just, not on the hook and ladder necessarily, because, you know, that's a play that everybody sees coming that, like Arian was saying, that's something that gets passed down from coach to coach to coach. And now it's kind of a part of the game because other

coaches have done it. But I'm talking about you throw, I don't know, like a five-yard dig route, and then you have a running back that's coming up that knows where the pass is going to be caught. And he's there to accept a lateral as the wide receiver is getting tackled. And you can get huge chunk plays moving downfield if you do it correctly and if you're not dumb about it you're not just throwing the ball over the place but coaches are terrified of turnovers and losing a turnover battle and your qualifier there is the big thing if you don't do it dumbly like your risk versus reward is i don't i don't think if you weigh those options oh the reward's huge though the right on plays where you're able to offload and if here's the thing erin the risk becomes minimized

the more you train at it and the more you work at it. So if you watch the Fijian 7s rugby team practice and the way they play, these guys grow up understanding that there's a way that you can carry the ball into contact to keep it safe and have it ready to offload to your teammate who's coming up behind you. So if you drill it in and get good at it and you have the plays designed ahead of time where you don't have to do it on every play, but you can have a handful of plays during the game. I actually think that the Kansas City Chiefs offense would be perfect at this.

they would be unstoppable if they were to implement some of it. And so when you're able to pull off a successful offload, your chances of gaining like 20, 30, 40, 50 yards on a play are huge. The percentages go way, way, way, way up. But then, you know, if you fuck up, it's a problem. But those percentages going up are of the minimal percentages that you have of completing that pass in the first day. To complete a dig route, right, with a defense rushing you

and then a whatever defensive coverage you're in, it's not a very high rate anyway and so you're you're working from a skewed number there to begin with so the fact that it's a low percentage of completing that pass in the first place then it's going to be a lower percentage of actually executing your lateral down the field play it's just it's you might as well just I'm telling you like Patrick Mahomes he was he thrown like 65 70%

completion rate and on some of those he knows that he's going to have a receiver open in this space. And so if you design a play to run a secondary guy into that space at the time of the catch, I don't know, I'm telling you, people people haven't called me crazy for the last five years,

but it's going to happen one day. I don't know these numbers, but you look at his 60% completion rate, right? That's not his 60% down the field completion rate, right? That's not his dig route completion rate. Like, if you do those numbers, I'm pretty sure it's around a 30, 20 to 30%. Well, are you talking like a 10-yard comeback BFT?

You could do a 10-yard comeback. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I think that could work in like a pre-vent, if they're playing a pre-vent defense and just leaving the middle of the field wide open because they want to run the clock out and you have a guy open just in the middle

where they want them to be open. And then you have someone coming around to then, like, get to the sideline. See, what I'm experiencing right now is exactly what you, you're doing the thing, Aryan, that Bill O'Brien did to you, where you've been around the game for so long. Oh, yeah, that Kubiak did to you. you've been around the game for so long you refuse to acknowledge

that maybe an outsider with a fresh perspective might see things a little bit differently. Nah, if it's an innovative thing and I'm like, yo, that shit comprises work, my mind is wide open on for what it is. That shit sounds actually stupid though. That's it. I think the hook and ladder could work more,

because they only use an end-the-game scenario. So I think defenses are less likely to be waiting for it in the middle of the second. quarter. I don't think every, like, dig route should have an option to pitch it. Like, it sounds like you're pitching here. I'm not saying, I'm not saying every dig route. I'm not saying every certain type of route. I'm saying you have it drawn up in specific cases at first until your team gets good at the skills that are required to pull it off. You have it drawn up for specific players to do it at specific times, at specific parts of the field. And you gradually implement it.

You can't just go out there and start running like a seven rugby seven's offense just one Sunday out of nowhere. There's a lot of stuff that goes into, like I said, like your body position and your hand position when you're going into contact, if you watch the Fijian team play, they're masters at it. They will get lit up. They will get absolutely smoked by some of the biggest athletes in the world, but they'll have their body position in a way that they keep it free. And with a flick of the wrist, they sent it to their teammate who takes it 90 yards for a try. so that's also their whole that's the whole game you know what i mean that's like that's like iverson being able to like cross over and pass with his left like yeah that's his whole like that's the whole crux of the game it's i think it'd be hard when i think one thing at least i overstated

my mind is like aryan like through a a regular week of practices like how many plays are you even like running through is it all of them or is it just like a handful no you have your you have your You have your base set of plays that you're taking your bread and butter. And then you have something that you game plan for the other team, right? So like whatever they're, you're trying to exploit their defense's weakness. So if they're heavy cover three, you have covered three meters. If they're heavy, that's what you try to do. But the hard part is practicing that throughout the week would be hard because you only

have a limited amount of time of practice, right? So you have scenarios that coaches do, right? So like the majority of the game is played between the 20s, right, from the 20 to the 20. But then you have red zone packages You have goal line packages You have third down packages You have all this shit that you have to fit in there And then just to throw the hookah ladder

It would just be tough to mitigate that Because you have Because turnovers are the biggest reasons That people lose game Like it flips momentum And so like the risk versus reward That's why I say I mean The risk

The reward is huge The risk my G I'm not I'm gonna show if it's worth it All right well we'll see We'll see area I just want you to know that when it does happen, when it starts working successfully, who told you about this first?

I love being wrong. That means they learned something, man. Yeah, they crucified Jesus too, you know? Right, Big T? That is true, yeah. Legitly. I mean, the only thing I want to see more in football, because I saw it again last night,

and I think everyone in the world agrees, the goal line fate is the worst play in football. You talk about never working? What, Aaron? It depends on the receiver, my guy. I think it depends more on the throw than the receiver. Your chances go up if you've got Megatron out there. Your chances go up if you're John Johnson out there.

The Falcons lost a playoff game because they threw a goal line fade to Julio Jones. That's true. Falcons lost a lot of playoff games for a lot of different reasons. Yeah, but you're correct. Point counterpoint. I'm saying the fade can be very effective, but it depends on the matchup. It depends on. So, like, if you have, if you're number one,

corner is 510 or 511 and I have a 6-4 number one who can jump I'm taking I'm taking that but it did a lot of but like I'm not throwing a fade to Richard Sherman in his prime right you know I'm saying because he's a little lengthier it didn't make a lot of sense you know for sure most of the ones I watch our quarterbacks throwing it into the third row because they have no touch or feel around that area so it just ends up being a wasted down but a play I see work 100% of the time is the play action uh to a wide open tight end and the goal line the tight end for some reason for some is open 100% of the time and I don't know how that's not everyone's

first and second down attempt. It's because that shit happens. I'll tell you why. That shit happens. On a goal line, everything happens so fast. Like, when you end it, like, everybody's moving. So when you're, like, the game speeds up, like the shorter amount of yards you have to get.

So when you're on one of those situations, when the lineback or safety is looking at the tight end, he sees him dip. Your first reaction is run. It's rare that you, you can, like, read that and still, and he, so if he blocks and he pills off, it's just rare that you can recover from that. Which is why.

100%. No, no, you ain't wrong. I've seen a lot of wide open tight ends. My first touchdown pass was to a tight end. My only touchdown pass. Huh. Love that. Was that in the red zone?

Was that a short pass, long pass? Oh, and Daniels? Red, red zone. No, no, it was, uh, fuck, I forget his first name. It's my guy, man. Fedorowitz. C.J. Fedorowitz. Yeah, C.J. for Dorowitz. It was a sweep to the right. We was playing Baltimore in 2014. Bill O'Brien let me cook, man. So I told him, I was like, yo, I got a better arm than your quarterback. I used to fuck him all the time. I think I felt like I do. But, yeah, we sweep to the right. Toss it over the head. It wasn't a good throw. It was contested, though. It was actually pretty nice.

This is the best press Bill O'Brien's ever got this episode. Listen, bro, I tell people all the time. Listen, Bill O'Brien is a good offensive coach. He is. He knows what he's doing. He's smart as shit. He's very, he's innovative. The issue is just like any human being, which would be a good segue to our art of war thing. But when people get power and they taste that,

they think their way is the only way. So the biggest day I always tell people like when they start a business or something like that, right, is if you want your workers to feel like you're working with them and not for them. I mean, working with you and not for you, right? When people get power, they, it just over, it, it just takes over everything that they do. So it becomes they micromanage everything. And rather than delegating responsibility and letting people that you trust,

execute the job that you trust them with, they just get over, they try to overcompensate. I don't know if it's an ego thing or whatever it is, but for some reason, he let, he let that shit, he let that shit swallow him. And he had to micromanage everything. Now of a sudden he's GMing and he's head coaching. it's like this is a lot of responsibility rather than like dog your bag is fucking offensive football like stay there and you he was good at it though i'm telling you he's really good at it though he's going to go back to new england at some point he said that he was trying to get fired when

he was in in houston for a little bit you wanted to get fired so he could go back to new england and take over for bill bellichick in the future he said no he didn't say he said that yeah very recently it came out recently yeah the report came out recently i don't think i don't think the quote was directly from Bill O'Brien. It was one of these things where Seth Wickersham is writing like a behind-the-scenes story of the New England Patriots. And part of that is he's talked to a lot of people that knew some of the assistant coaches that went elsewhere and tried to coach for different teams. And somebody that was in the know with Bill O'Brien said that at some point Bill O'Brien was trying to get fired so he could go back because he couldn't stand the way that the Texans were being

run. So he was trying to get fired so we could go back to New England. Again, that's not, I don't think that's directly from Bill O'Brien, but it's in some book that's coming out. Sources said. Sources said. Yeah. So that, that was interesting. That was a good talk. We got to talk some actual football on the show. And, you know, even though Aaron, you may have played the game for a couple years and you were a decent past catching running back, I think you still have a lot to learn about the future of offensive football. But that's fine. You would have to change the game at the youth level for that to be implemented. Okay.

Like that type of skill There's always a million reasons Not to do something that will change people's lives, Billy I think what PFT was saying though That guy at Presbyterian is insane enough to do it Because I mean he did two or three other things That nobody else would ever consider You have to have a coach that has ironclad job security

Like if Jerry Jones Went back and started coaching the Cowboys Which I'm not ever putting that completely out of the question Jerry Jones could do something like this But besides, I don't see an NFL coach who's not Belichick or like Andy Reed maybe having the stones to be able to implement it and having the buy-in from the ownership that, hey, you're going to be good, you're set. But like I'm saying, the Chiefs, I think, would be the perfect team to try this out with. So let's talk Tennessee football, Tennessee Minute. Oh, let's do it.

If you're a hater, turn away. Turn away from your stereo. It's going to be a tough week for the haters. Face away from wherever you're holding your phone. So put your phone down and then look away. You don't want to be in Big T's face for the Tennessee minute because they dropped a 60 burger on Missouri. Now, Big T, to be fair, Tennessee was favored to win this game by what, 20 points?

We were a three-point underdog. Oh, wow, that sucks. Sucks for Missouri fans. I didn't know that. Crazy. Now, Arian, as someone who is not, you said this offense wouldn't work. Did you see any of the game? I did not.

I still stand by their statement. All right. So I've got a couple numbers for you. For those who don't know, Tennessee went into Columbia, Missouri and beat the Missouri Tigers 62 to 24. It's actually 69. They took a touchdown away from us at the goal line. That was actually the only drive we didn't score on.

We didn't punt in a game for the first time since 2009. 28 first quarter points the most since 2000. Fifth ever 60 point SEC game. 683 yards of offense, 458 of it on the ground. and Tennessee gained 35 first downs in the game on only 31 minutes of possession. It was the best offensive performance I've ever seen from Tennessee. I am happy for those kids' performance. I still don't think that offense is going to work.

Okay. Now, granted, Missouri was an atrocious defense. I mean, truly, truly despicable. Well, I think that's what you have to account for. So to say this is the best offensive game I've ever seen Tennessee play. But I mean, they did. How do you even gauge? Why is, how can you say that?

I'll tell you what I loved is that Tyon Evans, one of our running backs, during the week, somebody asked him like what they'd seen from Missouri's defense. And he kind of laughed and said, we're going to have some fun. That's all I'll say. And then they went out there and rushed for 460 yards. I do love that that Heipel and the coaching staff obviously saw something that they knew they could exploit. They went out there and just rammed it down there. throat like that makes me excited for the future now are they going to do that to every team obviously

not um but but that got me excited you know i'm i'm super happy that that they uh that they did that to the to the other team but that shit is not it's just not going to work any kind of real way and for any longevity for throughout the season it's not going to work uh you know who the defensive coordinator was for missouri i i didn't know this until the game and i heard who it was, I was shocked. I didn't either. This is crazy. Steve Wilkes.

Yeah. The former, people forget, Steve Wilkes coached the Cardinals for a year, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like two years ago, three years ago? Yeah. Steve Wilkes is now the defense coordinator at Missouri giving up whatever Big T just said, like record, record amounts of yards, just an embarrassing amount of yards to the University

of Tennessee. That's, that's quite a fall for Steve Wilkes to go from NFL head coach to, to that he kept his job their defensive line coach got fired okay i guess yeah you got to throw somebody under the bus after that right i'll never understand that shit that that coaching carousel like it just doesn't make any sense to me it's not some i mean coaches have somewhat i think the head coach can change the morale of a squad order but like it's the players bro like you're either a dog or you're not like you can't play like you can't play like It just doesn't make any sense to me, like how one coach can excel with great players,

but not excel with average players. And they don't see that. I don't know. It doesn't make any sense to me, though. A lot of times after a game like that, coaches will just get into fights with each other. And then they'll form little factions. And then whoever's, whoever's, like, angriest during the fight gets fired. Because that way they can feel like they've made, at least they've made a change or

taking a step in a different direction from where they're going. Has there ever been, and this is what I don't understand about those. those kind of impulse decisions. Like, what is this game five, four, five, something like that? Five, yeah. Has there ever been a firing of a coach and then the team completely turns around? That's a very good question.

Like, even if there has been, that would be the outlaw, right? The majority of the time that team still sucks because it wasn't necessarily the coach, right? People might not like the coach, like a lot, whatever it can it be, but like, the players would probably weren't that good. Or they didn't get along,

not a good chemistry, whatever the case may be. Like making it change like they don't make no sense to me. That was, that was Coach O's whole career of LSU was he, he would take over for someone who got fired and that team would immediately go on a run every single time. And then he would stick around as the head coach and they would fall right off the face of the earth again. So whatever he was doing when they inserted him mid-season was working and then he would get that recruiting off-season. He'd show up next August and that team would stink. It wasn't until LSU with one of the most loaded rosters in college football history.

Did he- Give me an example. Give me an example of this coach-old thing. So the team was shit before he took over head coached. And then all of a sudden, they go undefeat or something like that. Yeah, as an interim head coach, it happened at USC for sure. He took over in the middle of the season and then they saw a noticeable improvement. At LSU, they had an improvement too when he took over there. And then he got Joe Burrow.

You recruited Joe Burrow credit to him. and they went on a nice little run for the next couple years. But, yeah, Ed Ogeron is, he's the guy that's like, okay, if you need an interim head coach, if you absolutely have to have somebody step in and give you like a bolt of energy, Ed's the guy that does it. But I don't think, I think Aryan's right overall that it usually doesn't work out like that. Bruce Ariens would be another good case where, but that's a little bit different. So he stepped in for Chuck Pagano when Chuck Pagano had cancer and he was getting treatments for it.

And after a couple games, I want to say that Pagano was one and two, something like that. And then he had to step away, asked Ariens to coach the team in Indianapolis. Ariens stepped in and I think he went something like 10 and 3 in his next 13 games there. It was something along those lines. And that's what really gave him the opportunity to get the job down in Arizona the following year. And I think that's what it is, bro. I think it's a noticeable difference, right? And I think the majority of those cases is either those head coaches had like a strain hole on the players, like personality-wise or something like that.

And the new guy comes in and says, be yourselves and let's rock. And that gives them a little more of confidence, right? But like, has it ever been like, yo, we won something? Like, or was it just like there was a noticeable difference when we changed? Right. Yeah, I don't. I think you're right to that point. I don't think that's necessarily happened.

I know when the only other people I can think of that even went on runs, when Lawrence Frank took over the nets in the early 2000s, I want to say they ran off like 18 or 19 in a row. That was in the middle of the season. Oh, I've got a good one. The Hawks this past year. Yes, that is a good one. Fired Lloyd Pearson like January, February, whenever it was,

and then damn near went to the NBA finals. Ty Lou, right? Didn't Ty Loo take over? Was that mid-year or was that when they fired David Blatt? Was that after his season was over or is that mid-season? I think it was mid-season. That was mid-year. I was going to say Kevin Stafansky, too, the Browns.

I would like to see the stats on it. Wait, Stafansky, he took over. I think Freddie Kitchens got the entire year. Yeah, no, Freddie Kitchens got the entire year. But, I mean, Kevin's too fancy. Oh, Freddie Kitchens is a good example of somebody that took over was decent during, wasn't he the head coach for Cleveland when he took over? I think so.

Like on an interim basis, or at least he was calling the plays. And then he just kept them around. It turns out, yeah, maybe Freddie Kitchens. No, he was calling, he was calling the place the interim was, fuck it, that defensive coordinator. Oh, Greg Williams. Greg Williams. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, Greg Williams was. But Freddie Kitchens was, like, calling all the plays. Yeah. Freddy Kitchens just not a name that you can trust to be a head coach. No, I didn't. You know who his college roommate was at the University of Alabama, one of the worst football coaches to ever live? No, I don't know.

Jeremy Pruitt. Wow. Do not know that. Yeah. But again, Big T. No goal line fades because the Falcons tried it one time in a playoff game. 2017 and Philadelphia did it twice. Julio didn't catch either of them.

Now, was that a goal line fade problem or a Julio problem? I'm against the play generally, but he, well, he did catch the, he did catch the second one and his second foot didn't come down and bounce. If you were to ask Big T, like, is it a good thing or a bad thing to have a 28 to 3 lead in a Super Bowl? He'd be like, no, no, you don't want that. That's bad. You don't want to jump out. I don't understand.

No, I would say. What's your history of 28 to 3 leads in the Super Bowl? I'm sure it would lean towards not great. That's tough. Yeah, UT got up 28 to 3 in the first quarter on Saturday, and I was like, fuck. I wanted them to miss the extra point. I was like, can we please, like, not make this extra point so it's not 28 to 3? That's tough.

But, yeah, whatever. The football team also beat the Falcons this week. They did. That's the end of the Tennessee man. An object joke, yeah. Okay, so piracy. Let's talk piracy, boys and girls. Yo, Billy ain't said shit for like 30 minutes, bro.

I think he's just been over here cooking. He's really prepared. Billy let it fucking loose, though. You got 41 pages on pirates. Go off. Where do you want to start in terms of piracy, really? Let's just talk about what's everyone's, you know, let's talk about classical pirates, pirates and pop culture.

Birds. They have a bird on their shoulder. Parrot. Okay, so let's make a list. Parrots. Eye patch. Peg leg. Pegleg. Are we just doing shit that we think of when we think of pirates? Yeah, just like classic pirate. Sid Bream.

Scurvy. Scurvy. We're just, we're going to just start separating fact from fiction. Ships. Ships. Chests of gold. Chess of gold. What do you guys? Yeah, treasure. Treasure. Yeah, just treasure.

Treasure. So we got, so we got parrots. we got peg legs eye masks so let's get into it so um run home jack run home jack

you remember that hook yep uh peter pan jump yep that was a great it might have been before your time but i think it was just tell us right off the bat how many of those

is it fair to say should be associated with pirates almost all them okay actually really the only thing that wasn't true about pirates was that the accent that they all have that argumenti that sort of that was more based off of a dialect of a certain group of sailors from England that sort of was thought to be what a lot of the pirates sound

like because a lot of pirates were former naval officers or sailors who served for the Royal Navy in some of the many wars that occurred now we're talking about the golden age of piracy that's about 1680 to 1720 that's where we get you know a lot of the Pirates, the Caribbean, kind of around that time and a lot of, you know, you know, the classical pirates. We're not talking Somali pirates. Yeah, that was a time in the world where I feel like everybody was just moving jewelry around the globe. You know, like that was how you signify that you were either rich or you were a king or a monarch. You had a bunch of jewels and gold. And then you would either keep your jewels and gold or you'd tell your own pirates or privateers,

go out and take this other country's treasure and bring it back to me so I can have it. So there was a lot of there was a lot of gold just kind of floating around the seas. It was the peak of colonialism amongst all countries. So there was a place like Spain, England, everyone was competing for resources and riches. And out of all the wars that came to that, you had a bunch of seafaring individuals who are very, very capable of violence. And some of them decided, hey, why am I, you know, fighting wars and being violent for a wage? and a country that exploits me

when I could just like, you know, grab a bunch of my friends, get a ship and start, you know, becoming richer than some of the naval officers who commanded me in the British or Spanish Navy. And so they, a culture really developed out of these seafaring men who cross, you know, sometimes you'd have ships filled with Spanish sailors

and English sailors, Dutch, from a wide variety of backgrounds who just, you know, came together for the beautiful thing yeah it was one of the first times you'd have people from multiple countries multiple backgrounds working together it's actually quite interesting to think about in that way sounds like new world order yeah well yeah right it's global the pirates are globalists turns out they were globalists so what's the difference between a privateer a pirate a buccaneer a corsair what's the difference between all those do you know so uh a buccaneer

was the name for a certain type of pirate that existed off of the Spanish coast down into, they'd bounce around everywhere, but it was more considered about pirates around Spanish colonies. A privateer is a pirate who is hired by a government to sort of conduct, you know, private contracting and it will just like only attack if the crown elicits a couple privateers to only attack Spanish ships so that their ships sail clean. But I want to get into... Wait, wait, wait. I just want to go over a couple things. Buccaneers were actually, they attacked Spanish ships in the Caribbean.

Right. They were around the Spanish colonies raiding their ships. Yeah, they're raiding the Spanish ships. Corsers were Muslim or Christian pirates. So I guess it was just like. So there was a battling, we'll get into that, but there was two sects of pirates in the Mediterranean who were almost battling over like a crusades type war, like a cultural battle. basically you had a bunch of like the knights of Malta Christian pirates who would fight these barbary middle more Muslim Ottoman Empire pirates and it was just a lot of there was so much war on the high seas at this time the pirates were actually the people who sort of skirted around were just taking advantage of absolute chaos on the high seas yeah so one thing that you said a couple times that I absolutely love is the phrase the high seas yeah I love just anything that happens on the high seas some. instantly more intriguing and romantic. What is, what is the high seas?

So the high seas is when you get out into the ocean, the waves are much higher. So that's a lot high, like the waves are higher. Okay. So it's like, you're higher up. But you're also up and down, right. But you go, okay, you're going up and then you're on the high seas and then low seas. Well, like low seas is like closer to shore. It's not as rough.

It's a little calmer. But when you get out on the high seas, waves are huge. Think deadliest catch. Gotcha. It just sounds cool to say. So I just wanted to go, like, talk about some of the common tropes of pirates, parrots, peg legs, and all that. So a lot of them actually had a lot of dual usages. So, for example, one of the reason why parrots were so popular is that a lot of pirates would buy super cheap parrots from the ports where they're leaving, be it in South Africa.

There's a lot of alliteration going on right now for me. I'm not mature enough to not let it fast. A lot of pirates and privateers would purchase parrots from the ports. No, but basically, parrots, what they do is the parrots would be for sale at many of these ports places, you know, markets, people are selling all sorts of stuff at these ports near the colonies, be it in Africa, South America. It was like buying a piece of gum on your way out at the supermarket. It's like right there at the cash house. But what they would do is they buy these parrots and then feed the parrots on their voice. because they couldn't have any other pets on the high seas because large dogs are too big monkeys or also considered a pet but they were also a little too you know big to be having on the ships so they choose parrots and what they do is they would speak english or whatever language to the parrot and just feed it and the parrot being around people speaking would end up picking up the language and then once they would get into a port city like london or lisbon they would then sell the parents

for a much higher amount than they bought it because everyone in London wanted a parrot that could speak and you know talk like a pirate like it was one of those things they flip they flipped the birds yeah they flipped the birds exactly that's so that's cool so that's why they all wouldn't the parrots fly away they clip their wings there was a bunch of little things that they did the parrots okay but also it got you know lonely at sea so having a parrot was always a good And that wasn't just pirates. Tons of different sailors would have exotic birds and try to keep them to the back to their home ports. But pirates also were one of the first people to have a form of disability compensation.

So crew members who lost limbs and would have pegs or hooks, they actually would get residual compensation like workers' comp if they've lost a certain amount of limbs. So a guy who had one leg in one arm or one leg in one hand would get paid differently depending on how many limbs he had lost. So they did have some socialist aspects. They had, yeah, they had tons of codes as they will. And I have a couple of them from different types of captains that we can read. Yeah, I've wondered that about the codes. When it comes to the different groups of pirates,

I would assume that each group would have different specifics, things that they value, things that are important to them that they put into the codes or do they have like different specific names like is it called just the pirates code or well each captain had a different list of codes and a lot of them had very similar codes and a resounding a resounding of them had elements of democracy in them so for example from the articles of bartholomew or roberts his first you know part of his code is every man has a vote in affairs of moment has equal title to the fresh provisions or strong liquors at any time seized and may use them at pleasure unless a scarcity non uncommon thing among them

makes it necessary for the good of all to vote a retrenchment so and this is in almost every code the first rule is sort of uh this vote of equality and everyone having a voice they had elections yeah but they also had there were elections but then once somebody got elected to the position of power it was illegal to try to have an election to get them out because then that's a mutiny right well the mutiny i guess it's only a mutiny if you lose a mutiny isn't technically illegal by pirate laws okay by maritime law if you commit mutiny against a captain you can be uh because that was usually in a military setting then you'd have to be tried a lot of the reason why a lot of these pirates got away with so much for so long is that they had to be

tried at their port of exit. So for example if you were an Englishman and you were a pirate you had to be tried back in London and the thing is a lot of these guys would never get back to London to be tried. It was out of a jurisdiction.

Yeah, so they could just commit crimes and just as long as no one captured them and brought them back they would never be held accountable. So I read that when you became a pirate so you would sometimes switch from being a privateer to being a pirate it was called going on the account. When you signed up for a ship going on the account, which is where I think the phrase like on account of, you know, when you say like, I can't make it tomorrow on account of I have a doctor's appointment.

But I think that's where it comes from. Some of the accessories pirates had actually had a lot more, you know, a lot of the pirates who were eye patches, some of them did lose their eye. But some of them also used it to combat the differences in lighting in the cabin or being out in the hot sun. imagine you know when you walk inside after being the sun for a long time you it's hard for your vision to adjust not me not you exactly but yeah so what they would do is they'd have one eye covered so when they had to see in the dark after being the bright light they would just switch the eye patch so that so it's uh so their eyes were adjusted already to the dark it's pretty genius yeah yeah so for example if you're like um close one eye for a super long time when you

open that eye it's like sensitive to the light that's because it's adapted to the dark you've got one eye for outside and one eye for inside because a lot of these times when the pirates were fighting in battles they'd be fighting on the deck in the sun and then they'd have to go under the deck which was much darker and they'd have to have their eyes adjust to the differences in order to do whatever things they had to do uh what about parley is parley a thing i remember that from pirates of the Caribbean and it sounds like it might be real where if you if you get captured by a group of pirates you can invoke parley which is french for to speak and then that means that you get to talk to the head pirate and you get to try to convince him that you shouldn't be executed well most of the

times they weren't just capturing people to execute them they were capturing them hold them hostage try to get money for them yeah um blackbeard actually very famously held hostage a whole town in Charlestown, South Carolina. I think Charleston? Charleston. No, wait. He held the whole town captive and actually really, they had to, like, his pirate force was able to literally take over this whole sort of colony. Pirates to me just sound like the ultimate example of dudes rocking all the time. If you want to get away from it all, just go on, like, just go on an adventure with the boys. Sign up to be a pirate. Go on the account. They're, they, had rules that most pirate ships did not allow women pirates because they thought it was

unlucky to have women on board. I don't know if that's, well, there was, I don't know if that's a real reason why. There was actually tons of women pirates, but that was rare cases, but many of them were extremely successful. Yeah. I imagine if you were committed to that life as a woman, you could probably use a lot of things to your advantage and take advantage. Because guys, I would imagine a guy pirate would be not that dissimilar from how they're portrayed in cartoons like dumb as shit drunk very easily tricked probably the most gullible people uh so if you're if you're able to be a successful in pirate that i could see a few of them being very very successful at that yeah so there was two pirates and bonnie and mary reed were the only two pirates sober enough to

fight when their ship was attacked during the night, all the other pirates were quite drunk and cowered below deck while they fought off the attacking ship. So those were two female pirates. Slay. There's actually a bunch of girl boss pirates. Yeah, they were girl boss. Do you hear another girl boss pirate? Uh-huh. Um, this girl boss pirate was, uh, from China. Slay. Slay queen. Why would you, why, why would you ever want to go into battle? So, If you had the choice, if someone's like, hey, do you want this cup of wrong before you fight? Yeah, I think I'll take, yeah, I think I'll numb myself a little bit. I certainly wouldn't be staying down in the galley with the boys just shitting on each other.

Madame Ching-Shi is thought to have been one of most powerful pirates in history. She had a feat, a fleet of 300 ships with 20,000 to 40,000 men obeying her orders. and she took over a so in 1810 the Chinese government promised amnesty and pardon to all Chinese pirates so she had so much wealth and power that she decided to end her career as a pirate

and then she opened a gambling house which she operated until her death in 1844 she went legit yeah it's like the mafia opening casinos out in Las Vegas yeah that's smart pirates are just gangs they just water gangs They are. They're water gangs for sure. So, I mean, the way that Billy was describing early, that lines up perfectly with that. It's like there are places that are somewhat lawless. So you just team up and you band together with people that come together either in your neighborhood or people that you just meet up with. And it's like, okay, we'll be stronger together and we'll enforce our own laws if there aren't any laws that are going to protect us out here. Speaking of the laws, reading some more of these by Bartholomew Roberts. So we had that first. one about everyone having the same say and do you want me just read through them we can all yeah so the

second one is every man to be called fairly in turn by list on board of prizes because over and above their proper share they were on these occasions allowed a shift of clothes but if they defrauded the company to the value of a dollar and plate jewel or money marooning was their punishment if the robbery was only betwixt one another they contended themselves with slitting the ears and those of him that was guilty, set him on shore, not in an unhabited place, but somewhere where he was sure to encounter hardships. Marooning was crazy. Marooning was huge.

I've read about that. So if you got charged with, I guess, if you tried to lead a mutiny that didn't work out or he did something fucked up, they would just take you to an actual desert island. And they give you a couple of supplies to stay there and just be like, okay, here you go. You're on your own. Good luck. And so then they just die slowly over the course of months. Some of them were given a pistol with one bullet when they were dropped off.

Oh, shit. Yeah. What do you do with that bullet? Kill Hitler. He waded out. He waded out. Yeah. It's down from family to family.

There's a gun that's going down. The generations. What about walking the plank? That was. I was going to ask about them. Yeah. So there was. actually a ton of different punishments that they would do walking the plank wasn't as

um popular as it may seem they would usually just throw people overboard if they've sought that but the walking the plank comes from an instance where uh it was popularized because basically a lot of pirates are bored and i think you know what they did a lot of was just super cruel shit that they got like a rush from so the walking the plank was in some instances, they'd have prisoners walk on the plank and then shoot at their feet or shoot cannonballs straight at them and tell them to jump before they got hit. So described rarely used despite its widespread notoriety, this punishment involved pirates forcing captives or members of their own crew to be blindfolded before walking across a plank

hanging from the side of the ship and plunging into the ocean. One of the only known accounts of such occurrences featured the crew of a Dutch ship that was captured by pirates in 1829. Pirates fastened shot cannon musket balls with the victim's legs and then force them to walk the plank one at a time. Yeah, so there was, these guys were pretty brutal. I mean, honestly, the way we talk about pirates today is probably like in maybe 200 years, they might talk about terrorists the way we talk about pirates. Because these guys are bad. They were bad, yeah.

Do we need to disavow pirates? Let's disavow pirates. Were there good pirates, though? honestly no one was really good back then everyone is anybody good now i don't know yeah absolutely i think wait you who do you think is good right now hearing um you talk about as a group of people or just individuals yeah well i mean you could say that some of the individuals on these ships probably did good things i don't know it just seems like you have to it's It's tough to judge every era based on the standards of future eras.

There are certain things that you can definitely compare and contrast. You're like, yeah, that was evil. That was a bad thing. But if you're born, if you're born, oh, Aaron, you're looking like, I hear an argument a lot, but I'm not sure I'm a proponent of it. It's actually, the thing is there was a sort of arms war between how cruel pirates could be to people that can. captured or people who try to take them down and then how cruel the executions of pirates were when they started really cracking down on them so like there's tons of examples just like like have anyone uh remember that scene in pirates the caribbean two i think it is where they just

have that one prison where like they're doing like gallows does anyone remember this jack sparrow escapes in the that's the first like that's like the opening scene to the first Is that the first one? Yeah. Where he escapes in the coffin. Yeah, that, that, all that type of stuff, like, it, it was pretty nasty. So, you know, the weirdest shit in the world is, I absolutely love Pirates of the Caribbean, but I have never stayed awake for it. Like, I love, I love, I love everything that I've always seen, but I've tried to watch it at least six times, six separate time.

And I keep falling asleep. I don't know if it's the time that I'm watching it or whatever, but it's like, I actually love the movie. Like, I enjoy what I want. But I always end up falling to sleep. I don't know what that is. It's very relaxing seeing some of the settings that they're in. There's some, you know, you're out on the seas. You're on tropical desert islands sometimes.

I did read that Johnny Depp when he was preparing for the role. He wanted to make his character, Jack Sparrow, seem like a cross between Michael Richards from the Rolling Stones and Pepe Lapeu. And I think if that's what he's going for, he did a pretty good job. I've been nailed it, yeah. Yeah. I went one pirate that I did some reading on was Captain Kidd captain William Kidd that's Billy the kid that's the first Billy the kid in 1696 the I think the queen gave him the assignment of hunting down pirates in the Indian Ocean but then he turned pirate himself he flipped he got out on the seas and then he started capturing vessels and he killed a subordinate with a wooden bucket and then most of his boys they just bounced they were like you've gone too far we can't i was down for stealing all these ships but when once you start slinging buckets at your crew members were out and he had just

a few people left for him and then he stopped in at new york's gardener's island which is just off the coast of long island here it's out by montaq and he buried his treasure out there and then he eventually got caught i think the brit the uh east india company was from great britain caught him they arrested him before he made it back to england he was tried he was executed and then his body was strung up on the banks of the thames and then they went and they dug up its treasure but i i wonder if there's still like how much buried treasure do you think is actually out there to this day the thing is with all that buried treasure stuff and people like have hidden treasure the crews were so large that they would usually like one of the crew would

go back, like be it in how many years and go get the treasure. Be it like a cabin boy or like another like person who knew where the treasure was. They, that was like probably one of the biggest ways to like show worth and get on a ship. Like I know where there's buried treasure in Long Island. Like let's like I'll show it to you. And then they get free passage. It'd be such a rush to discover buried treasure.

Yeah. A lot of pirates had retirement plans too. they would have like a system they had a yeah once they'd get enough booty they would they had extensive networks

on land that kept them in touch with the outside world so booty did you say once they get enough booty yeah once they get enough you know Spanish de bloons you know what I'm saying

once they get gold coins once they hit their max and cheeks acquired no so basically there was like what's the difference between booty and

treasure. I think it's the same thing. No, I don't think so. Let's look at the origin of the one. I mean, that's been that. Hold on. What do you have talking about when you say booty? Are you talking about? I'm talking about treasure.

Is that another name for it? Yeah. Pirates booty. I must have been listening to that part. It's a popular brand of popcorn. Pirates booty. Yeah, I had no idea about this. off the it's supposed to be like treasure in your mouth I guess I don't know

Pirates also a great bet on the Barstall sports book this year I think it ended up like plus 25 units if you just bet against the Pittsburgh Pirates every single day So the word booty comes from the middle low German word boot Meaning exchange or distribution okay so it's like stuff you exchange Okay I feel like I could recognize a difference between treasure and booty if I saw it okay a bunch of gold coins gold coins is treasure but that can be booty too right yeah if there's if there's like a pearl necklace that's coming out of the gold coins halfway exposed and then maybe a couple rubies sprinkled on top then that's booty well see i think if it's in a chest at all i think

it's immediately treasure yeah that's true depending on where yeah they're interchangeable what vessel it's located in. What about the Jolly Roger? Yeah. Because I read that, this is kind of cool. The original pirate flags were blood red, which was a good way to let people know, hey, like, shit's coming.

Gang bang. Yeah. So the pirates, a lot of the pirates would. They had Paisley red flags. A lot of the. Piru pirates. Yeah. So they would sometimes fly false.

flags and then right before once they got close enough to be in striking range of whatever ship they're going after they'd raise the jolly roger or other iterations of the jolly roger the jolly roger for everyone uh wondering is just the skull and crossbones black flag that everyone relates to you know where that came from so if you were going on a voyage around the world if you were setting sail you'd have a log that you would keep track of everybody that was coming onto your ship and you'd write their name down where they're from you know what they were being paid all that stuff if they died while at sea they would do a skull and crossbones next to it to notate that that person had died and so the pirates took that symbol and they're like hey

this is our flag now and everybody just understood that means death so yeah they were probably bad guys you're starting to talk me into the fact that we should probably disavow most pirates what's the point of swapping flags last second like you've already got them you've already got them right where you want them like you you got to add insult to injury like that feels like high stepping at the 50 to me they pretend they pretend that they're because if you do see a pirate chip you can sort of run away from it if you know i get it i get the the deception part of it but like at at the last like whose job like what low level pirate has to be like the flag switcher yeah Yeah, why do you switch flags at all?

Why not just keep fake flags? Yeah, no, we're still Spain. Keep them off your track. Have them mad at Spain or Portugal or some shit. Don't be like, oh, no, it was pirates. I think a lot of the crew were given. That was pirates. I think there was that option that they could surrender and raise a white flag so that they didn't have to fight.

That's true. So it's like they pull up Jolly Roger and then the person in the other ship's got to choose like, are we going to surrender? Are we going to plop it out? What would you think somebody who was around in the 1700s or 1600s that experienced a pirate attack would think if they went to Raymond James Stadium and there were just pirate flags everywhere and everyone was like cheering for them and they had like a fake ship out there. He'd be like, what the fuck? These guys raped my wife. They murdered my entire family. Yeah.

That'd be tough. Yeah. Is it? Look at you. You liberal cut. You don't go on a pirate woke, huh? Yeah. Yeah, the Tampa Bay B words.

Yeah, I mean, the thing is the Tampa Bay football team. That's what I'm calling them from now on. Yeah, why are pirates like the accepted line we've drawn of like clear murderers that we can turn into football and baseball team mascots? Like, why not? Like if Kansas City, if they were like, all right, we're done with the chiefs. So we understand that's disrespectful. We're moving on.

We're the Kansas City cons for gang jenghis Khan. We're going to fucking run up the scoreboard on you every single week. Like, well, what's the difference between that and pirating? I think murder has to have enough time passed before it's accepted. Be like, yeah, fuck it. It doesn't matter anymore. Like, if I don't think of it, if this affects society and there's not like residual pain, like, then it's like, yeah, we don't care anymore.

You couldn't do the Seattle, Stalin's yet. I think that's still. Not too soon. In the 40s, it just happened, right? So it's still residual pain there. I don't think you can do it. But Dallas, like Harvey Oswalds are coming in 50 years. It's too soon.

Yeah. I think it's like if it was around since the United States has been a thing, then I think it's more real and people are more likely to get upset about it. Right? One of the United States' first war. And the wars and opponents besides the British were the Barbary pirates. That's right. Yeah. So tell us a little bit about that war.

Why did we decide to duke it out with them? Basically, the U.S. was getting into, you know, naval commerce and all their ships were going out and, you know, trying to trade with different places, France, Spain. And the Barbary pirates were like, these new, this new nation does no shit about naval commerce. Let's start raiding their ships. And then we got into a war with them. they actually captured one of our admirals at the time, and that was America's first prisoner of war. Hmm.

And how come there's so many different rums named after pirates? Because they loved rum. They loved rum. Because think about it, rum was brewed near where the sugar canes and those plantations were, and then they took it to, like, England and they distributed it. Yeah. I also think that the fact that Disney has made so many movies about it,

so many like cartoons it's been featured so frequently in modern art modern culture yeah it makes it almost like it's just a story like it didn't actually have they did some really fucked up shit like they would sell people into slavery and if they if you surrendered you didn't know you wouldn't get killed but they take all your shit and maybe sell you into slavery depending on how like what happens or take you captive julius caesar was also held captive by pirates It's actually pretty badass thing. They held them captive, and they were just bouncing around the Mediterranean with Julius Caesar on board. And Julius Caesar was just, like, became friends with them.

It was, like, testing out, like, you know, dictator material on them, like speeches and stuff. And then the pirate's like, okay, we got, you know, and they said, we want to ask 20,000 whatever's for you. And Caesar was like, ask for 50. Are you kidding me? Like 20 is not going to 20 is way too cheap for me. Anyway, when they paid the ransom and Caesar got to go back. to Rome. Caesar went, hunted down the pirates he was like boys with and killed all of them.

That's pretty cool. Pretty badass. Yeah. I did read that piracy has been around since about 2,000 years ago. In ancient Greece, there were pirates too. Ever since we started sailing. Yeah. Since you got the ability to go out of the high seas, there are all some bad apples out there.

Imagine being the first pirate, the one that's out at sea and you're like, wait a second. We could just take this. There's no rules. no one's watching there's no rules yeah no rules like everyone was like he's right yeah that's what the vikings were yeah Vikings are technically considered pirates yeah Vikings were definitely pirates they would just they would probably go on to land more frequently than other pirates did but then they just let's because no one else had boats yeah so they were the first ones like figure out boats I also feel like we've hit a real stalling point in terms of like where piracy

can go from here. We're still doing piracy on the high seas. There aren't any space pirates yet. No. To my knowledge. That would be a pretty cool thing to do. But what's the space force? There won't be thanks to the space force. Yeah. Space Force got to keep this earth shit on Earth, man.

Well, why? What's to stop somebody? Maybe that's what Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos are doing. They're sending rockets into outer space and they're just going to like hijack all the satellites, strip them for all the gold that's on them. The billionaires, there's a high barrier to entry for space piracy. It's all just asshole billionaires just rolling around being pirates in space. There really is. I mean,

if you were the first space pirate and you and your mission was to just hijack Jeff Bezos's rockets, I think most people on Earth will be cool. They'd be like, yeah, good, good for you. If it's an outer space and you can take it, you can have it. I have a serious question. And we may need to do a space episode to get into this. Are there laws in space? I think if you're on, if you're on a spaceship or an international space station, there are laws that govern what goes on on that territory. It might be one of those things where if you're, like, if you go to Canada and you go to the American embassy, American laws apply there. So if you're on an American rocket ship, okay. That's my guess. I'm not sure about that.

Which is silly as fuck. You can't enforce like laws on Jupiter from here. That's crazy. it is silly there's not a jury of your peers Matt Doug what were you going to say so I just looked it up are there laws in space actually Big T

that's not a stupid question it was the most searched thing under are there laws but I didn't say it was a stupid question you you I thought you asked this might be a doubt question in fact in fact Big T said I have a serious question oh no I never said it was a stupid

I was, I'm defending you, so I didn't think it was a stupid question either. No, you did because you're the only one that said it. I was heard. I just missed heard you. I'm sorry. So speaking of that type of stuff, the after they passed the Piracy Act of 1698, so they could try pirates in different ports. So like the Jupiter question wouldn't be an order.

You could try them in Jupiter. Wouldn't have to bring it back to Earth. A bunch of England's less favored colonies. including Bermuda, New York, and Rhode Island, who'd been cash-starved by the Navigation Act, which was just something England did. So basically you had a bunch of poor colonies that were suffering from English oppression.

They were more, they loved pirates. They loved all the cash pirates who would bring into their ports. And one official defended pirates because he thought it was very harsh to hang people that brings in gold to these provinces. So pirates were kind of, you know, Robin Hood to that effect, like a lot of ports that house them loved pirates.

But why? If they kept their economies going probably, right? So if the pirates come in for a weekend and then they just, they hit your brothels, they go to your bars, they inject money by your parrots. Tourism. Yeah.

It's like jewelers being big fans of drug dealers. Yeah. Why are jewelers big fans? Well, because money spends. So you can look the other way as to what they do on their own time as long as when they're in your city. They're spending money on you. They're spending money on you.

That, yeah, that's kind of how the world worked for, still is kind of how the world works. Is that like the plot of Uncut Jams, basically? But more gambling. There's more basketball in Uncut Jams. Great movies. Have any of you guys been watching Cocaine Cowboys on Netflix? I haven't seen that, no.

And basically, it just proves that the whole reason Miami exists is because of cocaine. Oh, yeah, yeah. I did see that. Great documentary. Billy Corbin. Yeah. Yeah, that documentary is fucking sweet. It's like there's no reason Miami should be such a major city besides cocaine.

My one thought on piracy is the best form of piracy ever. It was LimeWire. Yeah. The greatest. So the music labels, like the major record labels and like movie production studios did a great job attaching the word piracy to people just stealing their shit. You talk about something that's as least like actual pirates as possible. It's like, okay, there's somebody that's in their dorm room listening to a song by O-A-R. It's like, no, that guy's now a pirate.

Pirates would be fucking pissed off if they knew what we were using their name for, selling their good name. Remember the commercial that used to come on every DVD where it was some guy breaking into an apartment and taking a TV? And it's like, you wouldn't steal a TV. And then it's like, so don't download movies. mediafire.com that was what I used or at the no I've never done legally downloaded anything

10p3 yeah at the beginning of every movie where the FBI gets a free 15 second commercial they're like hey you can't do this or the feds are going to come after you yeah 250,000 dollar fine

yeah I feel like we don't hear it as much they throw it in at the end now but like you better not repurpose this broadcast of Orioles twins on the express written consent of Major League Baseball. Don't even fucking try it. Or this podcast.

No, I think we should give we should give people permission to pirate this podcast. I will hunt you down. Actually, we, this more distribution is better for the podcast. Yeah. Okay. Well, no, because then they can't count those downloads towards our numbers and then we end up suffering.

I'm of the mindset that fuck. I'm going to give permission to pirate this podcast. Okay. Just record when you pirate it so we can add it. Yeah. Yeah. Send, send, um, you're allowed to pirate this podcast as long as you sign up for better help,

betterhelp.com slash dose. It would be so much harder to pirate a podcast than just listen to it directly. I know. You'd have to jump through through all the hoops. What about this guys? The Titanic. What is the Titanic? got fucked up by pirates what if the carpathia the ship that discovered the titanic and you know

saved a thousand people from it maybe those were the ones that said hey listen we won't turn you in just please take us back and they boarded the titanic they sunk it there was no iceberg you know you know who actually loves using the jolly roger submarines it's true they love hoisting the jolly roger when they come into shore I would do that that actually comes so like when submarines were originally invented I just read this one researching

Jolly Roger one of the English naval admirals was like submarines are like basically so on English because like it's hidden and it's like tricky and sort of not like the English way to just confront them

head on and it's like sneaky so they're like we're pirates all warfare is based off deception Sun Tsun Tzu absolutely sneaky little plug right there download thursday's nanodosing yeah thursday's nanodosing we're getting started with our art of war discussion the first chapter it's only three pages so i think

everybody out there i'm giving you two days to get ready for it three pages read the first chapter of art of war we're going to have a long discussion about that you're not going to want to miss it um but yeah the british they don't like any sort of they're just like we're going to meet you in a field and then you're we're going to agree to we're going to flip a coin and then depending on who wins the coin toss you might have to get stabbed first but then you can stab us back that's kind of how the British have always done war

I remember watching Braveheart where they're like oh shit they're they're stabbing our horses that we're trying to use to kill them with the horses were off limits that's dishonorable trying to win this war time out

what are you guys doing yeah so modern day piracy is basically been broken down into, if we're not talking about, you know, Somali pirates or pirates that are taking advantage of different cargo ships, it's if you're downloading something that you shouldn't be done. I think we need to come up with a different word for that because that's not piracy. I want to talk a little more about some of these fucked up punishments these pirates used to do. Have you guys ever heard of keel hauling? No. So basically what they used to do

to whatever these guys did like punishing sailors they used to tie the victims often with lead weights secured to their legs were tied to a rope hanging from the ship's mast's yard arm the rope and the unfortunate subject

were then subsequently tossed into the sea and dragged under the ship's keel on one side and then brought up on the other side to the corresponding yard arm aside from drowning torturously slowly the victim was sure to be cut to bits by the inevitable scores of painfully sharp barnacles

glued to the keel and hull of the ship. So they usually just casually do this. Just like grate somebody. Yeah. Just like literally cheese grate him on the bottom of the ship with a bunch of barnacles. I think Billy's right that a lot of this shit was just people being out at sea for a while

going insane and just trying to keep themselves occupied by thinking of the grossest shit they can do to punish somebody. Like you guys heard of the cat of nine tails, right? No. I think I've heard of it. Yeah, the whip. The thing is, some of this was very common in, like, the English naval system at the time. They were just, like, whipping sailors with, like, these, a form of flogging that was ironically a punishment that rarely led to death, despite its extreme barbarity.

The Caddo Nine Tails was usually an unwound rope, whip of nine strands, the ends of which varied. Sometimes the ends were tarred knots and sometimes the fish hooks or musket balls. after beating the raw skin was sometimes covered with salt and vinegar to inflict additional pain and suffering. They used to do super fucked up shit to the sailors. I also think that if you're the captain of a pirate ship, you probably can't be that stupid.

You have to be smart in order to navigate a ship around the world, right? Yeah. In order to look at the stars and the sun and the moon and figure out what direction you're going in, how to put the sails up correctly, how to steer the ship. You probably have to be really, really fucking smart to do that. Yeah. Well, how does that apply?

No, I'm just saying. Like, it's, we think sometimes. Are you saying that the torturing of these people were very intelligent? No, no. I'm saying that the people that came up with this crazy shit that were inventing different ways to torture and kill somebody were also really, really smart people. It's weird that someone who would have to be really, really intelligent would also have that side to them where they're just, you know, sadistic. Well, I think the fear of mutiny was always. such a, you know, if you didn't rule with an iron fist, they could easily, you know, commit mutiny.

Get taken advantage of them. Because when you're the captain, you're so outnumbered by the rest of the ship that you're probably a little paranoid. Yeah. Who do you think the goat pirate is? Blackbeard was pretty dope. He was dope. Yeah.

He only had a two-year career, though. Oh, so like flashing the pan? Yeah, honestly, serious flashed in the pan. He wasn't that violent. he would use intimidation tactics to make people surrender quickly. So, like, he used to keep basically, like, sparklers or, like, slow-burning things under his hat so that he looked like the devil in steam would be coming from his ears, kind of. And then, yeah.

See, this guy's also insane. Yeah, it was sort of a lot of intimidation tactics. And, you know, his name was Edward Teach. And he was a shrewd and calculating leader who spurned the use of violence, relying instead on his fearsome image to elicit the response that he desired from those whom he robbed. He was romanticized after his death and became the inspiration for an archetypical pirate in the works of fictions across many genres. Arctipical. It sounds like Omar from the wire.

Yeah. Everyone's afraid of him. He's got a code. Yeah. RIP, by the way. RIP. Yeah, so he held a whole town hostage for some medicine Because they thought he I think it was for his like chlamydia or something

John Q, he John Q. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. He had except his son wasn't sick. He just like banged a hooker Dude, those guys are nasty drip. Scurvy. Yeah, so it's scurvy. Scurvy is a lack of vitamin C.

and so they used to like suck on limes and stuff right that's why coronas have their lime is that true yeah that okay i'm i think i'm calling cap on that yep yep i think the i think the i think the tradition of putting limes with drinks stems from nat from have like because think of a dark and stormy yep ginger beer goslings and then they put like a lime on it yeah because it's delicious and refreshing okay let me let me look at this i'm pretty sure that's why they put limes in alcoholic drinks because they knew they could convince the sailors to get their vitamin c if it was mixed with alcohol i hope billy's right about this i really do i had a friend sounds amazing i had a friend in

college that on a dare he was like i really love pickles i could eat pickles for every single meal and so uh my friends dared him said okay just eat only pickles then let's see how long you can go and he got scurvy in college oh shit yeah from just eating pickles not a not a great idea But it's easily cured. How can only pickles give you scurvy? Just a lack of vitamin C? Yeah, lack of vitamin C. I think if you just deprive yourself of vitamins for long enough,

it naturally sets in. So, I mean, Blackbeard sounds like an interesting pirate, but I don't know if you can make the claim that he's the goat pirate if his career lasted two years because that's basically one trip. It's got, it can't be more than one or two trips. You know how long it took to get places? So you know what they did, how he got beat? So this guy was called Maynard was sent to kill him.

He like got a contract to take him out. So Maynard rolled up to his ship and had his whole crew hiding in under the, like in the cabin. So like the ship looked very outnumbered. So he like baited Blackbeard to like jump his ship. So then he jumped his ship and because he thought like it wasn't, you know, it was like a merchant ship and there weren't too many people on it. And then all of Maynard's dudes jumped out there. the cabin and like totally caught all of Blackbeard's guys off guard

because he thought the ship was empty. Guys, hand in the cookie jar. Who else would you say is one of the best pirates of all time? Most successful pirates. So here, I don't know about good pirates, but I think the Somali pirates that you, as you mentioned, I think they get a bad rap,

right? And here's why. Granted, yeah, they're still doing, they jacking people's vessels, but the reasons is to why they actually kind of fucked up, right? So the Somali government, I mean, there was There was a civil war, right? And the Somali government kind of disband the regulations of the sea, right? And so other fishing vessels from other countries started fishing there

and depleting all the resources from that, where the Somali fishermen fished. And because of that, there was just scarce resources. So they started to try to ban together to protect their resources. they started trying to hijack people's vessels and shit like that. So it was like they were kind of forced into into this because that was one of the main resources of the places that they lived. And so now it's kind of the actually who touched on this? I think it was a conceit conspiracy, wasn't it?

Who actually touched on this as well where the fishing industry in general, like mass fishing actually causes a lot of poverty and actually causes a lot of economic issues for poor countries because that. That's some of their main sources of income was gathering fishing and selling it. But because major fishing companies come in and swoop, then they don't have anything else. Like, what are they supposed to do? This is their natural resources. This is how they sustained in their economy for a long time.

And so just like much crime in general, it follows poverty. Poverty and crime are very correlated. So they're doing it. I mean, granted, this is probably industry is built because of it, right? and it goes on, kind of much like gangs in America where it was originally formed to ban against police and police brutality, you know, cultures develop from that. But its origins come from people just trying to stop people

from stealing their natural resources. So I don't know that much about modern piracy in terms of how violent they are. I saw Captain Phillips. I watched that movie. But are Smalley pirates and specifically like East African pirates? Are they violent? Do they kill a lot?

Or do they just take over ship? and gets it's not as much as advertised right so like i think that the movie kind of shine a spotlight on it and so it's more uh i read a stat somewhere it's like like they they don't think i don't think killing is that that big there's more they try to hijack ships and then they're really not that successful i think for like there's like a hundred uh attempts or something like that and they've only was like it was like a 30 or something like that where they actually hijacked ships so they're not that successful they're They're, if you're going by baseball standards, you know,

they're Hall of Fame numbers right now. But for as far as successful hijacked, it's not as prevalent as its kind of avatar. I hate to say it, but I heard Captain Phillips was an absolute fraud. Really? Yeah. Like the man or? Yeah. So as, as Aaron was saying, a lot of these Somali pirates, really it all started.

They were trying to ward off mass fishing vessels. And they realized they could hijack them and take them for ransom. So getting onto these big tankers usually isn't that easy for them. But I heard that Captain Phillips, like, didn't, he, like, ignored a lot of very obvious signs. Like, and I think there was an option where you could have just paid them off to not attack the ship, like a very little amount, like the equivalent to, like, $2,000, which is minuscule related to their, how much they get paid. that it could have been easily avoided but there's vast I have to look into it but

So I know what happens a lot is the ships will get boarded and then the ships will get held for ransom and then they'll try to get the companies that own the oil on board the ship or own whatever it is to just pay for the release of the ship and then that's the big payday

then they get off, they go back but I know there have been some violent incidents I'm wondering if in the Suez Canal You know how there have been a couple of ships that just get Parked in there that can't move for a while If you're a pirate isn't that just open season You've got you know like a traffic jam Of people that are just laid up

Can't you just roll up on them take their shit So those wires are heavily patrolled But so back to Captain Phillips Because I just found out what it said So it turns out he could have he sailed way too close to the Somali coast that none of those tankers are usually go because the pirates don't go that far off the coast so he sailed way too close and then he didn't follow protocol that is typical of piracy where there's like a lockbox where they have

a bunch of provisions and the pirates can't get in and then they just sent out an SOS and then they would never be held hostage and the pirates usually leave once they find out that they can't get to the people. Yeah. So you didn't follow any of those. It's such a life hack to really fuck up at your job as long as you can get Tom Hanks to play you in the movie that comes out eventually because then no one will possibly hate you.

But speaking of private contractors, there's tons of private contractors that patrol that area of the world because they get paid by shipping companies to like fight off pirates. Okay. I've also read that East Africa, there's, sorry, West Africa, so off the coast of the Atlantic Ocean. as opposed to the Inan Ocean, East African piracy is starting to pick up recently because a lot of the countries in like the Ivory Coast region, Nigeria region, there are a ton of disputes in terms of which water, where the boundaries are. So there are a lot of unprotected shipping vessels or shipping lines that go through there. And so you're starting to see an uptick in that recently.

But yeah, modern pirates, they don't have for whatever reason. We haven't done the, it's not as romantic when it's happening right now as when it happens. They're not walking planks and they got, they got guns and shit now. So it's like not as, it's not as romantic. Yeah, it's not as romanticized. And it's like, it's the caricature of pirates, right, is, is the whole garb and the hats and the patches. And now it's like they got guns and they're like, they gangbakers. I'm the captain now.

Yeah. And they, in the new pirates, they use little ships and they go like, because they hit and run. So they're not using these huge ships. They're using like little dinghies and they roll up to the side of the boat. And a lot of, a lot of these big tankers usually just take hoses and just hose them off the side. That's got to be emasculating. Yeah. You're trying to roll up and just like steal an entire ship and you've got AK-47s and they just spray you down with water like like a cat that shouldn't.

to getting onto a dining room table. Because it's pretty hard to get onto one of those boats from a dingy. Yeah. From that standpoint. I want to jump back real quick because I've got a question about pirates that I didn't ask earlier. And I should have. When you brought up the hooks that we think about, you know, they've got the hook for hands. Why would you ever get a hook for one of your hands?

Why not just get a prosthetic hand or a peg arm? I don't understand what the benefit of the hook is. It seems like it's just an accident waiting to happen. Of for the ropes. Okay. Because it's easier to hang on. Because think about when you're on a ship, it's like rocking. You got to grab on to things.

Okay. So it's easy to grab on with the hook. It's a good answer. Good answer. There's also, there are modern day fish heists that are going on on the high seas. There was one ship that jacked, I think, like $3.5 million worth of Antarctic toothfish. And then they tried to take it to five different ports. and nobody would take this fish because the fish was like they the fish should not have

even been harvested from the sea by the original ship that got it and I think they were giving like fake names of where they where they acquired the fish from it was a I think a crew of Cambodian pirates and they were like yeah we got it from the South Korean vessel that we that we bartered with or traded with and every port that they went into was like no we can't buy this this is weird but I kind of I like the idea of going up I think if you take fish out of the ocean until you get it back to port, that's still, that's no one's fish yet until you sell it. I don't think you can claim that fish. If you just, you just rate, you just increase the altitude of the fish by 50 feet and then started sailing away with it.

I think that that should be maybe fair game at that point. I mean, stuff. I mean, where do you draw that line? Yeah, I don't know. So international waters, is that an actual thing where you can do whatever you want when you reach a certain point? I think there's regulation. There's regulation on the water, isn't there? As far as fishing is concerned, it has to be.

I mean, I... Yeah, maritime law. All I know is what I've learned from the Simpsons, which is you can have knife fights, right? Monkey knife fights, once you get 10 miles off the coast. I don't know. If anybody out there is an expert in maritime law, please let us know. if international waters is a real thing. You can do whatever you want while you get out there.

So, Bill, you have any more pirate facts for us? Or anybody have, anyone have anything else they'd like to contribute to the pirate discussion? Pirates actually did a lot for discovering the world. There's this guy called William Dampierre who put together, he discovered Australia, basically, and he wrote all these novels about maritime navigation. and basically mapping the world. And they, like... We've learned nothing about white people

and discovery yet. Right. Sorry. Niggas was already there, bro. He was the first European step foot on Australia. This thing you really just Christopher, Columbus, Australia. That's crazy. I'm sorry. Well, he sailed.

A lot of the places he found in Australia were uninhabited. Allegedly. Who are the people that were they? They're, and they're still, they still deal with racism there today. Aboriginals? Yeah, yeah. They get ostracized there all the time.

Sorry about that. Aboriginals, Mowries in New Zealand. I'm just, Mm-hmm. Australians are low-key, really racist. Oh, that's high-key. High-key. Yeah, it's a super hiker, yeah.

Very racist. Billy, Billy just did a real-life version of that drill tweet where he's like, yeah, pirates, you know, they did, they were really bad. They'd kill people, but also they, they helped chart. the world on maps. It's like a drunk driving kills a lot of people, but it also helps a lot of people get to work on time. So who's to say if it's bad or not?

No, one pirate is not under any circumstance need to give it up for the pirates. No, one pirate got out of execution by giving the queen of England the map of the world he made. That's all it took. Yeah. Maps are pretty valuable. She's a horrible barter. There's no terror Let's not telling how accurate that shit was

What? Ma'am, I found some whole new shit Just trust me She ain't going to go check and see if it's real That's fucked up That's smart though Yeah, just a circle A green circle that said

The New World Oh wow Okay Then she sends like 50 men on a dummy mission And they all die So they all get hijacked by pirates Yeah, by him Perfect challenge

time. That's actually a brilliant move by buddy, too. Yeah, I mean, your backs against the wall. You got to throw something out there. It's not his fault to work. 100%. Oh, no. Go ahead.

Another little fun back. The earrings that they all used to wear were said to have warded off sea sickness. Okay. Like rubbing your ears is supposed to help with seasickness for some reason. And they put in an earring when they felt seasick. Weird. It was something about, like, pressure in your earlobe was supposed, but it was proven it's fakeness. Well, I don't know if it is or not.

No, it was, it was fake. Because that's a big thing in Eastern medicine, Chinese especially. So are you saying that all Chinese medicine is. Did you just call Chinese medicine fake news? Yeah. All of it? Uh, unless. What do we mean by Chinese medicine?

So, so, uh, Eastern medicine, Chinese, especially when it comes to the ear, they believe that the ear has probably, I think, each ear has something like 40 or 50 specific pressure points on it that can be used i mean people still do acupuncture that's chinese medicine some people believe that that truly works i mean have erin you've seen the pictures of james harrison where he's got like 600 needles in his back at once yeah i'm not a well i take it back acupuncture works to a certain degree but i don't think it works to the effect that people pretend it does. So dry needling does, right? So like when they get in there and actually stimulate those muscles and it like makes them jump, like that shit actually does work. But all all acupuncture does, in my opinion, is increased

blood flow. And if that's the goal, then that's the goal. But I don't, I don't think there's like some magical pressure points that can. I believe it. I believe it on the ear because your inner ear controls your balance and your equilibrium. So if you apply certain pressure to different parts of the year, I actually think that that the air lobe? It can. Hey, Aaron, you ever been with a woman that likes to have her ear nibbled? I like my having my ear nibble. Yeah. So that does something to you, right? It isn't, it isn't, it isn't, it isn't knock off my balance. It makes you go horizontal. Too shay, my friend. I mean, let's be real here.

And ladies, if you're out there, if there's a Republican woman out there that wants to fuck Aryan Foster, we know that we're trying to get him set up with something. I want to make love. Don't disrespect the process. I want to make love. So if you're a Republican woman,

within the sound of my voice, you can turn back and face the radio after Big T told you to face away during the Tennessee Minute now. Aaron Foster would like to have you nibble on his earlob. Let it be known. I wouldn't mind that. Anything else about piracy? Billy's got so many facts.

Smart Billy came back today. I love this, I love this Billy. I love when Billy's on something that he cares about. I don't have anything about pirates, but have you all seen what's going on with Facebook since we've been recording? Yeah, I just saw that Facebook. I just watched it.

It might not exist anymore. All right. I'm out of the loop, but like, please. So there's one Twitter. So it's been down, Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp have been down for several hours. And this, what's the name of this publication? Hang on, I'm waiting on it to load. The Academy tweeted out, it's a screenshot of a bunch of code, so it makes it look like they know what they're talking about.

I have no idea if this is real or not, but it says, someone deleted large sections of Facebook's routing. That doesn't mean Facebook is just down from the looks of it. That means Facebook is gone. No. Yeah, I can't imagine that's. that's true um but it has been down like all day mark soccerberg let's go somebody somebody is trying to save the world and i read oh i was just going to say that like the the employees key cards won't even work to like get in the building like their entire infrastructure is down

are they hacked hold on is it i think so this sounds like we jump in again isn't it no it's it looks pretty bad and it's the night after the facebook 60 minutes yeah coincidence let me get on Twitter to see a Facebook event. So someone's the little. A lot of people on Twitter, if it had any goddamn self-respect, would lock the doors right now, not let any of these people come back. They've chose Facebook. They can

stick with Facebook. I don't need Facebook people on Twitter. That sounds like a terrible time. But it also said Zuckerberg has lost $7 billion today. Yeah. Yes. Facebook has lost 50. Eat the rich. Billion? Yeah. Which is the entire

worth of Twitter. How do you lose that much money in a couple hours over being down. I have to have that much money. From what I understand about coding, it's not like you can just copy-paste it. It takes like years of years of layering and it's not easy to build a whole system. Probably should have backed it up. So Facebook's down bad. Yeah, they didn't have eye cloud.

Yeah, you should put it on the eye cloud. Oh man, Facebook. That's tough. Would you, if you guys could, would you delete all social media, like, wipe it? from existence. We've had that discussion, I think, even though that's how we kind of make a living. Well, none of us, yeah, none of us would have jobs.

The blog would still be out there. Yeah, but none of us like. The podcast would still be out there. Social media. I wouldn't tweet. I don't tweet. Yeah. WhatsApp being down is almost.

Yeah. Signal. I stopped using, I stopped using WhatsApp. Because one of my homegirls, she lives in Argentina and she's like, fuck Mark Zuckerberg and she's like and she was the only person I talked to on WhatsApp she was overseas right she's another to be overseas she's another country and so

she was like download signal it's encrypted and yada yada yada and I don't know shit about that shit so I was like whatever my nigga however we communicate and so I've been off WhatsApp forever like signal I supposed to be better I don't know oh you guys see the communist capyberas in us in Argentina

no so basically this sounds this sounds legitimate You know, the subtlest funny shit in the world, bro. Go ahead, dude. That's that one. No, but, so they, there's a huge, like, they basically built a huge, super rich suburb in Argentina on the top, on top of swamp lands and, like, on indigenous people's property and whatnot. So you have all these people moving into this suburb with super big McMansions in Argentina.

And all of a sudden. Do you say McMansions? Yeah. Okay. mansions? No, I just didn't get the McDonald's reference. Mick Mansion, is that like a term?

Yeah, it is. It's like a cookie cutter large house for the lower upper class. Well, it's just not like a real mansion. It's not like a European mansion. It's just like a real mansion. Like a European one, huh, Bill?

Yeah, like a chateau of sorts. It should be subtly seeping out of Billy, man. I never heard that term McMans. No, I'm talking about like Like just a big house Like a big house Like American ingenuity Yeah, I'm just fucking with you, but go ahead

Home Depot Houston's got a ton of McMans That are like if you're in the oil industry You know, in the suburbs around Houston And you have you want to spend Three, four million dollars Did you actually think me saying European mansion is like subtle racism

I'm fucking with you buddy I know but it's just like I'm not a bit Remember you said, maybe you said, like real dragons, like European dragons. Gentrified dragons. The only way to describe it. But I'll get back to this, Facebook. Oh, no, you just.

They built, they built this huge community on swamp lands that used, where native Argentinians used to live. And now all these capy beras are just swarming the neighborhood. And Cappy bears are just giant guinea pigs. I love Cappy bears. The best thing about them is that they're the friendliest animals in the world. They love having pals. And I'm not talking about just like other Cappy Bear pals. They love all animals.

They just like nestle up next to whatever is around them. They're chill as hell. They really don't. They sound so happy. Yeah. No, but they've been tearing up all this super nice landscaping that people put in, like destroying property values, like running into people's houses. Oh, no. Wait, where did the people that bought the houses get that land from?

From the capy bearers. So the capy bears are like the symbol of a socialist revolution in Argentina. And like there's these huge like paintings and stuff that they put up of like the capy bears and like communist like Che Guevara capy bears and all this. It's some of the buddies they just Google it. And they're like they're saying stuff in Spanish. I don't even know the translation to that basically is like the capy bearers. are for the people.

Listen, I just love Cappy bears. Comrade Cappy bears. They look so, they look like, they look like little hippos, like small little furry hippos. Yeah,

the coolest shit. Yeah. All right, well, respect to the Cappy Bears. They're taking their land back. They were there first. So,

yeah, thoughts and prayers to Facebook. Tough day for people's ants out there. Not sure how we just learned. Not sure how they're going to get those memes off. We were just going to announce the, yeah if facebook isn't dead forever we have a facebook page and a discussion group you can join oh yeah that's the only good part of facebook that's the only good part of facebook it's actually do we do we break it

we broke facebook look we low key like we kind of blew up on facebook no big deal whatever our discussion group is awesome so if you guys want to join the discussion group uh if facebook ever comes back up to life um it's on our twitter and then also just search macro dosing on facebook and it should come up And I talk in there. Billy's going to get in there and talk. We're all in there just hanging out. It's a good time. It's good vibes only in the Facebook.

Everyone's pro everyone in there. Pro everyone. Yeah. Get in there besides privacy. Like a coffee bear. We're all capy bearers in there. It's a collection. But whenever Facebook comes back up, join it.

There's like 500 people in there. Can we get some memes going that are capy bears wearing baseball hats? And so we can use those for a cat memes? Yeah. Yeah, that'd be fired. All right. Well, that does it almost for this week's episode of macrodosing. I almost ended it prematurely. But then I realized we're doing the voicemails. Voicemails are back in Tuesday episodes because Thursdays again, that is Art of War by Sun Su, which we will be discussing in a nanodose, 20, 30 minute long episode. So let's get to voicemails. Okay. Give me one second. My Gmail, like, uninstalled.

This is wow. On a plane ride. here um how are we still recording uh yeah we're waiting for say we'll cut it you say something you don't know you got to cut it is on a plane right here i was uh i was watching the movie uh with melissa McCarthy um uh super intelligence and it literally yesterday i was having these thoughts and so the whole premise of the movie is like there was some uh toy AI toy that that that gang awareness and consciousness. And it was, it was, it, it, it found her and let her know that he or it, it captured all of the internet and it could just do whatever it wants.

It could, it could do whatever it wants. And so, and one of the things that they were, it was just fascinating. So one of the things that, that they wanted to do to centralize it was cut off all internet and just go dark for a dark world for like, to try to centralize. it so that they can encapsulate it, but ended up being that's what it wanted it to do. It's really dope premise to a movie. Actually, it's low-key like, what's that one

with Johnny Depp? Shit, where he becomes the computer. Fuck, what is that movie? Her? No, no, that's Joaquin Phoenix, and he falls in love with his phone. I was talking about Johnny Depp is like,

he becomes artificial intelligence. He becomes, it was almost evil at first, but towards the end of the movie, he was like, brilliant. Like, what's that movie called? Artificial intelligence, right? Um, transcendence. Transcendence. Fucking brilliant movie. PFTU you'd like that shit.

Bill, you like that shit too. That's a 19% on rotten tomatoes. Oh, fuck that. God of that. What is it? One time it was 100% rotten tomatoes. It was with Keegan, Keegan Peel or whatever. Key and Peel? No, it wasn't, not Keene and Michael Key.

Yeah, it was him. And it was like, there was like, improv group, it was 100% of Rob Potato's like, oh, it's got to be fired. That shit was horrible. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that shit was a fault. I'll never, I'll never trust Rodd Tomatoes again, ever.

Aaron, I know exactly what movie we were talking about. That shit is so bad, though. I'm reading up right now on the Facebook thing, and by reading up, I mean, just looking at the replies to that tweet that you mentioned earlier. But there are a lot of people that are saying that it's not gone. It's just, it's cut off from external read right to the databases. So one user

May Brooks just said If a bridge collapsed It doesn't mean the other side of the river disappeared too So the bridge is So apparently the bridge is missing Because I can't like You know how when Facebook and Instagram are usually down And you can like open it but you can't like refresh it

Yeah You there's nothing there That's not happening right now If I go on my like Safari I can't even open the websites my saying if I go on my Instagram app It doesn't refresh

Yeah it's not refreshing It's nothing Some way to jam into the music It's my last post I get to see on Instagram For me the Instagram feed Isn't even showing up It's just a blank screen Mine could not refresh feed

Damn That's actually Can you imagine how stressful of a day that is I typed in Facebook.com It says Safari can't open the page Because I can't find the server And that's the same thing for Facebook too.

I just love it's fucked up and why like what we joke about shit was like I know a lot of people who actually have the their main source of income is Instagram like and Facebook and social media like that's how they

that's how they get their business like out there like that's actually fuck that that for that I don't I hate it also show with a lot of those people right now yeah also they have yeah I should probably go check what percentage of my blog views

come from Facebook before we wish for its downfall so quickly most it's most of them I'm buying Facebook stock Buy the dip, Billy Find the dip Also, people have a lot of pictures Of the relatives that they've put up on Facebook

And a lot of memories and shit What, Billy? Oh, the stock market's disgusting We get to voicemails But before we do, I want to let you guys know That our voicemails are sponsored by Sport Clips Sport Clips haircuts Billy just got his hair cut

Oh, excuse me, you dyed the tips invisible At sports clips At sport clips, yeah, sport clips is the best place to go for a haircut. You can go to grandmas for the holidays, but don't go to where grandma cuts her hair. You should go to sport clips. They're pros. And if you're a guy, they specialize in men's haircuts. If you got a cowlick, if you have a patchy beard, that's me, you're finally wanting to grow out that mullet.

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That's a rumor that I heard and it looks great. It looks awesome. Steve Belichick, he will co-sign Sport Clips. They are pros when it comes to men's hair. So at Sport Clips, you can sign up ahead of time and then they will send you a text, let you know when your seat's about to be ready. Plus they have the hot steam towel.

Sport Clips. Go to Sport Clips. Check them out today. Tell them macrodosing, sent you. Sport Clips is the best place to cut minceare. Are you guys, want to do voicemails? Yeah, we'll do voicemails, and then we've got to do nanodosing. Let's do it.

What about mac or dosing? It's Max from Indiana. And my question that I have for you guys is, if you could be the first person to do anything ever, what would it be? So, for example, like, you could be the first person. first person. Okay, then it cuts out for a while. But if you could be the first person to anything ever, what would you do?

Shit. And we can include, I think, things that have already happened. So if you wanted to be the first person, like, to find out gravity exists. That is a very, very good question. I think it would be pretty cool to be the first person to time travel. Into the future, though. I think I would be more interested to see the future than I would be to see the past. I like that.

Now, based on what we know about time travel, which is really nothing, but the laws science fiction writers have come up with, they always say you can't alter things in the past. But if you're traveling to the future, couldn't you technically do whatever since it hasn't happened yet? Well, interesting thing about time, my brother, is that it already has happened. Fair. We're just living in this fucking ever-present moment. Hang on. Run that by me one more time?

It's hard to explain, but the basic laws of physics go as such. Time is malleable. It's not an adamant object. It's an actual thing. Time is an actual thing, right? Time warps and bends, and that's the effect of gravity. It's why things fall because things fall to the center of the mass. Mass moves because time warps. Space time is what they call it, right? So the effects of this actually have

interesting consequences, and this is one of them. Depending on how you move through space is how you move through time. For example, if I move toward something, right, billions and billions in my light years away, if me and another alien are sharing the same now, okay, we agree on what now is. We're living in the exact same moment. Depending on how I move through space, time can either slow or speed up for me, depending on how I move. Then our now is no longer aligned. And across vast amounts of distances like that, that could mean the difference between where we, where we once were aligned, now his now was 250 years in the past or 250 years in the future, right?

Just because of our nows, we're aligned and how we move, changes that throughout the vast distance of space. Now, it's a hard concept of grasp, it's a very hard concept of grasp, but the implications are true, right? And so what that means is if our nows can misaligned over that much amount of time, but we're still experiencing our reality in a very real way, it means the past is actually still happening in the future is also happening too

and the present is a present and that's why it's a gift fucking uguet Big T's mind just got I'm trying to I want to have a follow up question and I'm just trying to figure out

how I want to phrase it so do you think there see I don't can I read your mind real quick sure are you trying to ask is there such a thing as self-determination then if everything has always happened?

Do you have free... No, no, no, no, no. I literally just want to know if you think... Oh my God, well, y'all stop. Do you think there is like a... Things... Where's the nearest hobby lobby?

In the future, like, do you think the future is happening right now? Yes. Okay. You ask you like, have you already eaten, tomorrow's chick fillet for lunch no like like in 150 years the earth will have nobody that's currently living on it alive and it will be an entirely new crop of people so like you think that's happening right now yes okay it's a it's a real tough concept i don't understand it either so

but it's one of the theories about time Einstein Einstein had it so so where is that happening since it's not it's it's not where we are right like in new earth earth is not stagnant earth moves at around a thousand miles a thousand kilometers per what is it per mile mile per hour whatever kilometers per hour so earth isn't stagnant right so think don't think of don't think of earth as this ball that just stays still it's so when you talk about space time you're talking about actual space think think of it like it's cylindrical, right? There's this big cylinder. We're moving, that, um, that, um, Einstein referred to it, like, as, um, like, as, um, like, as noodles, right? So, like, think of time as, as moments captured

like this, like, like, like, slots, like you place slots in like a, uh, a quarter machine or something like that. Time is like snapshots like this. And we just experienced it. This is why Einstein said free will was an illusion. Because we experienced time linearly. This is how we experience it. But think of it like, literally just like, snapshots and like my hand going like and it's just like it captures it moment after moment after moment that's that's the reality of time but we don't experience time like that we experience time like oh we're sharing you guys listen to me now I'm listening to you but it's not it's not the case like we all experience different times our nows are different and over vast amounts of space

like those those are very real consequences um and so when you can't think of earth as a static ball earth is not in the same position it was 150 years ago It's way, it's somewhere totally different. The universe is ever, not ever, it's always expanding what we know of it right now. And it's in an entire different space than it was. It's, it's way somewhere else where it was and where we are now and where it's going to be.

I still don't understand how space expands. Where is it expanding to? You don't know. Where is their room? We don't know. What about you called? Dark energy, dark energy. Coley, what would you, if you could do something for the first time,

that nobody's ever done. I find out where the fuck space ends would be a pretty big one. That's a good start, yeah. Yeah, I feel like that'd give me on a magazine or two. I don't know. I would love to have been the first person who had dunked just to see what everyone else

like I feel like they probably burn that guy at the stake like a witch. Yeah. I would like to be the first person. who's ever circled the wagons like the buffalo bills i don't want to talk to animals yeah talk to all animals i feel like they know things that we don't know it's just like a given like why is the like what if they know all the answers they're just too chill because they know they just know better than to tell us yeah it's like they know why space is expanding fungi fungi that would probably

be the first thing i'd talk to fungi yeah dude shrooms probably know everything fungi or octopi octopuses I would definitely talk to octopuses Billy if you were to pick one animal that you could talk to

what would it be oh man capy bear he's probably like the chill cool zen of the animal king I want to talk to my frogs to see if they love me back

I actually I might be getting another frog I'm surprised the famous famous last word A guy DM me and he was like, look, man, like, I'm moving. Don't fucking do it, bro. Dude, it's a three-pound frog.

It's a well-established African bullfrog. It's a giant. He's an in-sale and he's implanted it with something. No, he's not. He's probably a really nice person who raises frogs. I love it. You, Philly, in all honesty, no bullshit. You should do it.

You should get it. You should get the frog. How expensive. I'm not a fan of it. It's a great wish to establish. content. Like I have to explain to the finance team upstairs. You bought a frog. It's for content. I expense Larry the goldfish. That's true. What about you beat too? What would you do? I would go back and cook Truitt Kathy and invent the chicken sandwich because it's something both

that I love and that proved very financially beneficial for him. So I would invent the chicken. Wow. I'd invent the egg. Yeah. Invent the chicken sandwich. Do you think that True at Kathy actually invented the chicken sandwich yeah no one else had done it where sandwich is from volume valentine yep yep

Cole's right what about you mad dog um I mean I think if I was the first person in like cure cancer that would be like Coley and like give me on some magazines but I also think I would get

killed immediately yeah I think I think there are several people who have found the cure for cancer found it. It's just, I'm not in that camp. Here's a question, though. If you cured cancer, would you do it for free? Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I think, I think the benefits that you would get from curing cancer, may it be monetary or not, would. I agree with them. Yeah. Like, also you would get the satisfaction of being like, one, I cured cancer and I'm saving, like, so many people's eyes. Maybe billions of the last?

Yeah. It would definitely be, like, the cure would probably be affordable. At the end, in order for it to be effective, it would have to be affordable. Well, my whole thing right now, my theory right now, my theory right now is that there is a cure and it is kept for, like, the super elite. I don't know. It gets Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs is bad. That's true.

But maybe they didn't have the cure at that point. Maybe they could, or maybe they found the cure like three years ago. Reach. I just think I just but I my other thing too is why I go back and forth on how I think there are people who have been like killed because they know information right here in cancer and like the government and the medical industry big pharma doesn't want you to know but then also at the same time like people like Steve Jobs have died from it or like people have died from cancer that are very important to society also cancer is such a broad spectrum of disease like pancreas, like cancer, breast cancer, you know, colon cancer. All of those are so different. Like, can you have one cure for, you know, 20 different types of cancer? That's the reason they haven't found the cure.

That's, yeah, it's very difficult to do. And also, I think that a Pfizer, a big pharma company, had the cure for cancer, I think they would probably make a shitload of money off of it. I think that, right. Obviously, there's more money to be made in certain aspects of disease when it comes to like treatment as opposed to a cure because treatment, then it's like recurring revenue. Right. But I think if you're a giant pharma company and you have the cure for cancer or you're close to it,

you see that as you still have to think about next quarter's earnings. You know, you have to think about like the short term too. That's such a windfall for them. I don't know if they'd be able to keep all that secret. But. And you need more people to be alive to have a bigger customer base. Like they were selling Xanax to people who were. perfectly fine like they can find stuff to sell you they'd rather have you alive than dead well and and also

i mean it isn't if they had like okay let's just say it's a pill or whatever you know that you take to cure cancer wouldn't it still be a recurring source of revenue because like more people would just get diagnosed with cancer yeah that's true too but isn't cancer just from my understanding but cancer is just like rogue cells right it's cells that don't die it's like a mutation it's like mutated replicating yeah and so it's not like the different kind of like i mean i don't know shit about cancer but this is just from what i thought i understood is it really different kinds of that cancer is it just rogue cells in different part of the body well it's different kind of cells going rogue right so like their cancers are not the the mechanism what happens to the cells is similar when they

become cancerous but the cells are all very different and then they they can like metastasize and go to different parts of the body. Got you. I don't know shit, but yeah. Interesting. I was curious. Yeah. No, I think that I just don't think anyone who finds a cure for cancer in

even the next like 50 years, I don't think anyone is getting a hold of that. I think it's 100% going to be, I've seen videos of little microscopic nanobots that are like the size of cells, like whizzing around. Like, they're definitely going to get a bunch of those and program them to only attack cancer cells and then just inject them to everyone's. bodies but then people are going to be like oh they're robots and then when look when people are dying of cancer they don't care what to know yeah yeah they're not going to be an anti-science at that point what about you ever you got anything well i was just thinking about changing my answer because

we got really serious there but i want to be the i want to be the first person to use a fully operational iron man suit oh fuck yeah you'll be remembered forever for that yeah it'll just be fun too. How badass would that be? I would just jump around. Just like, yeah. All right. A little audio for people around.

Good answers all around, guys. All right. I would do, okay. No, no, because, you know, the only, I didn't do it yet. Y'all forgot about my school. My bad. I would be the, it's cool.

I'm sorry. I would be the first one to make contact with an intelligent life form and then that was another intelligent life for him, not from Earth. What would you tell him? Get me to fuck out of here, though. Diff niggas, wow. Not what? I would be like, yo, I don't, I don't think this earth is salvaged, but I don't think there's pockets of people worth saving, but the majority, like, we're just going to kill each other off.

Like, it's the stupidest place ever, like, dumb, dumb place to me. Okay, Bill Gates. It's not wrong. he ain't wrong and for the record he wasn't talking about depopulating the earth I had to argue

I had to argue with my homeboy about this because he believes that I went to college with him too apparently he didn't go to any classes but I went to college with my guy and he thinks that Bill Gates is trying to depopulate the earth and the vaccine

he actually said this to me for real he said the vaccine is a it has microchips in it And it's going to end up, it's going to turn everybody into zombies and you're going to do exactly what they say. And I'm like, bro, what the fuck happened to you? I had no. Like, he was dead serious too.

And so I traced down that stupid conspiracy theory about Bill Gates depopulating the earth. It came from a 2000. Have I said this already on this spot? I guess. Who cares? It came, it came from a 2010 TED talk where he was talking about getting proper medicine to impoverished communities. And there's studies that show that the reason why there's so much overpopulation in poverty-stricken communities is because they don't have access to health care. They show that a lot of families depend on their kids for child labor for work for their family.

And so if their kids die or their kids are sick and they're unable to do it, they just keep breeding. And they have more and more mouse to feed and less and less resources to give to people so that they are nourished, right? And so what he was saying was he was citing those studies that says, if you have proper access to medication, to birth control, to all of these things that aid human beings, you're less likely to procreate. And so he was saying, we need to, we need to shrink the patient, but in a way that's, that's for, so it's so that it's so that it's manageable for resources. And so he wasn't saying he want to kill people off. He just wants to say he wants to give people medicinal help and that will depopulate the earth. My understanding was that he was like, yeah, the Earth has X amount of resources right now and can sustain X amount of people. And right now we have too many people on Earth for the resources that are currently available to keep everybody alive.

Here's what the population would be if we were matched up evenly with what we have. Well, that even sounds more sinister than it actually was. He was literally just talking about getting more medical care to impoverished places so that they procreate less. Because that's what set himself. You saw increasing resources, not increasing. Got it. Yes. Increasing resources will decrease population because people are less likely to procreate once they have access to real medical help.

Like that's all he was saying. And that turned into he wants to kill people with vaccines. Like fucking wild. Got it. Now counterpoint to that. Billy just sent a video to the chat, which is just Bill Gates getting a pie thrown in his face. and I think that's pretty funny. So I'm literally like, that was the moment.

That was the moment. He's literally just like walking to give a speech on education and some random dude just pies him in the face. And that is the moment Bill Gates decided. That's when he became evil. Yeah, that's like I hate all people. Like I made Microsoft. I made Excel for all of you. Like now you pie me in the face.

No. I mean, that's all pretty crazy. But, you know. All right. Matt, Doug, what else we got? Okay, his next one. What's up, you handsome fuck? Big time fan, listen to every episode at least once.

Love you guys. You guys make my workday infinitely better, so I truly appreciate it what you do, especially Big Billy, obviously. Thank you for your service. This is a quick question. If you guys could fight any living person at Rough and Rowdy, who would it be and why?

Doesn't have to be a celebrity. doesn't have to be a sports person anyone you want I especially want to hear Mad Dog's answer Aryans too I wanted to hear big T's but I'm pretty sure it's just Obama You want to talk about

Let's go back a second Because last week we had to talk about people Who incite things And I think we really got carried away with a lot of abstract examples You fucks in this room And in Maine and Houston have incited a relatively large group of people

to plenty of things that are just so far off base. It's outrageous. And I find it incorrigible. But you think that we've incited people to... Wait, sorry, saying you wouldn't fight Obama? He wouldn't be even in my top 100. He was a pawn. Hayday, though.

That would be a big purse. People are watching that fight. So he's 101. 101 is his fight. I would actually love to rough around you, Obama. That'd be a thing of the payday. Huge purse. Yeah, I would, you know who I'd like to fight?

I'd like to fight the homeless guy that keeps assaulting Big T. So that was actually going to be my answer. Not, well, it's two separate ones. No, I called him first. You gave him cancer last week. Yeah, so if I, you know, I feel bad for my guy now. If I fight that guy, then Big T can never, ever say anything to me bad ever again. There's always thank you.

Thank you, PFT, for everything that you've done for me. Well, I could take him myself, though. Well, I already fought him. That guy probably was just having a terrible day. You didn't get his methadone on time. I'd fight Pelosi long before Obama. I'm with you on that. I would fight Pelosi.

No pushback here. Yeah. Yeah. We can all come together on that one, I think, as a podcast. Obama, Obama was a pawn. Nancy Pelosi's pawn? Nancy Pelosi is, she's a really, really, amazing investor. I'll give her that.

She is. Like her returns on some of her investments have an insane reason. It's crazy how she times the market. The timing is in passing. Genius. Aryan, who would you fight?

Would I fight? I'm not like a fighter like that, though. I talk a lot of shit, but I don't really like, I don't really want, I don't want to have no physical education with nobody, man. I guess I don't really I don't want to be with nobody like that man

I'm sorry to not to not answer his question let me let me think about it a little bit more let me let me think somebody go out I would love to like you know ECW extreme rules match Osama bin Laden they said he had to be living yeah no one knows no uh let me think My would be Skip Bayliss. That's a good one. That's a good one. I like how you didn't pick Tom Wilson.

You know better. You know better than that, Avery. Mad Dog, you want to hear your answer. Yeah, I don't know why, but mine's personal. Or, like, it's not a celebrity. It's someone I went to school with who I will not name names. Spill the tea That's big of you

Thank you Oh no Don't be big Don't be big Don't be big Take the high road No I won't say their name But

There is one person I went to school with I won't specify what school But school with Who I would take in a ring Literally tomorrow What she do, bro If you won't say the name You gotta tell us like why you hate them so much

This person and I are we've had a lot of interactions together and I I don't consider myself I'm getting sweaty thinking about it I don't I don't think I'm mean to a lot of people in this world

this person I was intentionally mean to a lot just because I didn't like them all the time so I would fight that person grade school middle school high school college we don't know where it was from or what they're doing now but I would take them tomorrow and I know I would win

is the other thing in a second so I don't know if that's an entertaining answer because I'm not saying who it is but it's not a celebrity it's someone in my personal life okay they know who they are boy or girl if I say

what gender will give it away to people who know me in real life it's a boy because you would say if it was a girl yeah it's a boy she'd fight a process of elimination I would fight Dan Ben Snyder. I think I could beat him.

I appreciate him. Yeah, he's shorter than I am. I'm in better shape than he is. How tall? How short are you? How tall am I? Good question. I'm 5.8 and a half. I say that I'm 5.9, but the dirty secret is, I'm 5.8 and a half. But that's perfectly normal height. If you look at a global scale, I'm actually above average height. Globally. I'm not sure that's the metric you want to use. globally. Jeff Bezos is looking pretty jacked. I would just want to put him in a ring just to knock him down a couple pegs. I got it. I got it.

Who's the negative boxing? Logan. Logan is it Logan or Paul? Oh. Jake Paul? Which one is the one that's boxing? Or both, but Jake is more notorious for boxing. I want to do that, but I want to do MMA. Like, not just boxing. Yeah.

I would fight for. I would, uh, I, I would, I would, oh, I would go jujitsu on him. A hundred percent. Yeah, he ain't got no ground game from him. Tap him out. I mean, I, I feel like my hands better than him, too, but it, whatever. I would fight Miley Cyrus, but I wouldn't actually fight back. I just let Miley just beat the shit.

What's your thing with Miley Cyrus? Aaron, you'd probably be the biggest person, either the Paul brothers would have fought. They only fight like people under five, seven. I mean, of course. They know what they're, they know what they're doing. Yeah. You'd absolutely clap them No question

And especially we go to the ground Yeah All right so Billy Who's yours A Paul brother You'd also You'd fight the other one You just want to

Genuine Now we'd like a tag team That's yeah Let's do this shit Mattl Docent versus the balls But fuck them Let's get this cracking Tag dude

Let's call Vince I think I'm I think I'm taller than Joe Rogan Arena Yeah With he like 5-7 5-7 Joe Rogan's 5-7

notoriously five seven I've heard five four we wasn't talking about it anymore yeah sorry I was still thinking no Joe Rogan mock you up that's a good point Coley I'm tall as he in person

round five seven yeah Coley's right though Joe Rogan would beat the shit out of me he would he would dog walk you man he's a he's a black belt dog he's yeah I've been going through a few

and I boiled it down to people who I believe have a willful intent to destroy America and that Oh, this should be, this should be great. And I think I have, I think this is one that people, I would fight Keith Olberman. I believe

every, every single thing Keith Olberman says is with a willful intent to break down the fabric of American life and I want to, I want to hit him. Okay. I don't know who that is. I think he's a news guy. He was, he was much popular

he was a sports center host for a long time and then he went full lib and now he's he's just got some of the most outrageous opinions you'll ever hear he does thank i got your i got your fans in my message they call him you woke big t get them nigg them niggins off my bumper i don't i don't think i have many fans so i can assure you i didn't send them they show up on my time now keith olme is one of those guys i think most reasonable people can get together and agree like this guy just sucks yeah No, he's the woke. So he does, I know the faith.

I just don't know. Do you watch BoJack Horseman, Aaron? Have I watched what? BoJack Horseman? Uh-uh. All right. That didn't help them. Oberman is, he's become like a caricature of himself.

I think the thing I don't like about Auburn is he's very much in it for Keith. I don't think he really cares about it in the stuff that he's saying. He likes to feel like he's important. and he loves to feel like he's talking down to other people. And so he just takes whatever route is easiest for him to make himself feel important about things. But I don't think that he is, what's the opposite of disingenuous? I don't think that, I don't think he's ingenuous. Genuine?

I don't think he's genuine. Thank you, Matt, dog. Insenguous is a real work. I think Keith Oldman is disingenuous, aka, I don't think he's genuine. He seems like a big, like performative act. activist. Yes. Like he's doing it for his name, not because he cares about these issues. Yeah, he thinks that he's in the plot of the newsroom 24-7. He thinks that Aaron Sorkin writes his everyday life and all of his dialogue for him before he ever said. Every time I see one of his little diatribes from the balcony of his apartment on Central Park West, I just want to sock him right in the face. Yeah. Anybody else? Anyone else? Coli, do you know who you'd fight? I keep trying to think, like, I don't have any, like, good. answers like someone i i would handle obviously like i don't lose the fight so someone going very meek on maybe on the brink death i can just mop up take my take my

winnings and go home you're thinking more strategic yeah i'm not trying to like oh man he's hey he's gotten six rounds with fucking riba mackintyre why doesn't he put this one away oh what the fuck do you have gist riba nothing it was just the first like like smaller person that came to mind. Everyone loves Riba. No one would be rooting for me in that fight. I can't have that. No,

no, definitely not. Anyone else? Have you seen good old, is it good old country? What's the movie Reba McIntyre was in? I'm not sure. I don't think I have.

Reba? That was her TV show. No, no, no. She was in a movie with, I think it was George straight? It was George straight? Pure country?

The game? Pure country. Pure country. Pure country. B.T. you haven't seen pure country? Uh, uh, you ain't really for the country bro you should watch pure country you're out here

I'll see it before next week's show you're like her perfect appropriate hey I hear appropriating bro all you Republicans banging for big tea he's not really with you dog that's that's fake news he's a liberal plant but no so my mother grew up on a country like in a farm right and so like um she she she she's doing me watch all these old as like country movies like dances with wool she used to make me watch that shit she means like listen to like and that's why i love to this day so i love patty klein patty klein is fire because i grew it and my mom's like so i like i know her or something but anyway uh pure country had one of the greatest quotes of all time on it it was about chicken shit matter of fact big tea watch it and bring back the quote

next episode is it make chicken soup out of chicken shit nope okay it's it when it when you see it's It's like, that's a massive away. It's got George Strait in it, too. That's his George Strait. I'll watch this before next week. George Strait. It's a good movie. Fun fact about Pure Country and whatever other movies George Strait has acted in,

he refuses to kiss a woman as he's acting because he feels it would be disrespectful to his wife. Good man. Even though it's a love story, he wouldn't kiss another woman on screen. It would be very funny. Looking upon a woman lustful is sinful as all, yeah. It'd be funny, though, if, if this. was like a ruse and maybe George Strait was attracted to men and he decided to give himself the stage name George Strait throw everybody off the trail.

It'd just be funny if it happened. You have to admit it would be quite a plot twist and retroactively people would look back and be like, yeah, wow, I probably should have seen this coming. Coach Taylor is also in this movie. I can't believe I haven't seen this. Fake Republican. That's, you know that's not true. I don't know.

I don't know that now. You might be a plant. You might be a, you might be a neoliberal plant now. I'm, my eyes on you, Big Tea. I like that.

The Aryan has range to just drop pure country in a podcast like this. Respect. If I was a liberal plant, I should be making a shit ton of money as an actor. That's true. That's not,

that's not true. They need them in all ranks, man. The plant's, are everywhere. Sounds like you've got your next talking point for your salary negotiation there, big day. Yeah. Barsall supposed to be a good place to put a plant.

Yep. What else we got, Matt Dogg? Anything else good? Do you guys want to do one more? Let's do one more. And then we'll hop off for the weekend again. Remember, tune in next or tune in on Thursday for a nanodosin. Did Billy finish?

What? Did you finish our door? Yeah, finish it. what's up guys this is trace i'm from minnesota uh just a quick question i was wondering uh with the new show squid game coming out uh if you guys would participate uh if you were i don't know if you were broke or if you were in debt uh or even if you are so uh thanks for thanks for taking my question uh hope you guys have a good rest of your day good rest of your week uh love you guys see you so does everyone know what Squid game is and is about.

I do not. I'm going to watch the Swig game. So. Yeah. I haven't heard. I heard everybody's talking about it. I feel like we should, we should wait then because I've heard people talk about it too.

We should watch it. I know it's a series on Netflix, right? Yeah. I was going to watch it. Yeah, that should be part of our nanodosy next week is like a review. We'll do art of war, but we'll also do a quick review of I'll watch it too. Yeah, we should all do a review of Squid game.

And if you would part to how, how you think you would participate in it all right yeah we'll do that okay that's a good one to end on that's what we call a cliffhanger in the biz yep underwear area what color underwear i i'm thinking about suspending the underwear by the way unless that sounds like a good call unless we can get we can get uh me undies to be a presenting sponsor of this podcast this is a lot i like that meundies if you're listening i wear your underwear every day every day i'm wearing pants i've got me undies on coli you wear it too every day they're great underwear but you know what i'm done doing free ads for meundies unless you want to be on board as the presenting sponsor of

macrodosing we would love to have you in a be fired in honor the pirate episode we're holding me on these hostage until they pay up we are this is a serious threat pirated your underwear so um you know what i'm just going to spin it we're not doing underwear this week oh it was so sudden they were they were orange oh i was going to get the navy blue okay good good thing we didn't do it uh all right we will see you guys next week on macrodosing. Thank you for listening. Love you guys.