Macrodosing: Arian Foster and PFT Commenter - Pseudocide

Episode Date: June 22, 2021

On today's episode of Macrodosing, we debate who has been announced dead, but rumored to still be alive. From Steve Jobs to Adolf Hitler, you'll hear about all of the "sightings" of their potential locations AFTER they "died". We even got into a little talk about Mt. Everest. Trust us...it makes sense. Also, Arian continues to talk about his hate for dogs. All of this and more on the show. Sit back, relax, and enjoy. 4:00 Big T and His Mom 10:30 Mt. Everest 22:30 People Who Faked Their Own Deaths 30:00 Arian Dog Story 44:10 Steve Jobs 56:00 Nipples 1:00:00 Michael Jackson 1:22:00 Tupac 1:34:00 Hitler 1:56:00 New MerchYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/macrodosing

Hey, macro dosing listeners, you can find us every Tuesday and Thursday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon music. Welcome back to Macro Dosing. It's me PFT. We got a full squad in today. We got Billy, we got Avery, we got Mad Dog 2020 here in the studio. We have Coley, Big T, out on the road, Big T is jet setting. You're in Omaha, Nebraska right now.

And we got Arian from Texas. So we got the whole squad today pumped about. that last week's episode was fun but coley pulled an all-time move which is suggested the topic and then bailed on us so do you have any any thoughts that you want to add to the lake lanier podcast coley well lake lanier just gets the people going it goes viral seemingly every other day and i know big t's passionate about it so i thought it would be pretty easy and then yeah i was unable to attend so people should stop swimming in it that's my take i don't know what it's such an immense threat to society. And it really is Darwinism every day. People just keep going

in there, not coming out. And I don't feel bad for them. Is it weird that doing last week's episode made me want to go to Lake Lanier? I'd never heard about it before. And now I kind of want to go. So I was, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't. I was like 20 minutes away the other day. I was in Atlanta for 24 hours for a family thing. And we were up near Lake Lanier. And if I had another day there I was going to just I don't even know what I was going to do but I wanted to go up there hide bodies just go there and hang out sure billy yeah I was going to go and well I don't even want to finish let someone's get I feel like if we were if we wanted to get a good like United States lockness monster going Lake Lanier would be the place to say it lived because of so how many

inexplicable deaths happened there I feel like you get some good momentum behind that I feel like just pranksters in general should have made a fake lockness monster or some sort of fake crypted and planted in some lake why haven't we done we have one champ lake champlain is that is that the crocodile no it's it's um like uh it's in vermont it's like america's nessie named champ yeah champ oh yeah never heard of lake champlain no yeah i've never heard champ well is it like a lizard it's like the lockness monster it's supposed to be a pleasaur or some sort but is it actually like what i'm saying is there there needs to be a team of pranksters out there yeah

That gets together. This feels like something that Jimmy Kimmel should have done seven years ago where you just, you create a fake animal. Like you build it out of, I don't know, like paper mache, probably not paper mache if it's in a lake. But you engineer a fake animal and then you just put it in a lake just to fuck with people. Well, that's the, what are they called the Australian jump bears? Drop bears. Drop bears. That's hilarious.

And the hoop snakes. Yeah. If you just get a, that's actually pretty cool. You get an entire country to just agree to make something up to fuck around with everyone. joke yeah and then yeah as a joke and then it just takes off shout out to australia for all being on the same page of that i also wanted to um do some some cleanup on last week's episode and find out what mrs big t had to say about our intern madeline if if they're on good terms now uh i don't i didn't necessarily talk to her about that but y'all like we can never let her we'll never

do that again because it has gone to her head in a way that i didn't think was possible she was she was marginally featured on a podcast for a total of 10 minutes and she legit thinks she's like she thinks she works for bar school now she's part of the show I will never I will never make that mistake again she's absolutely part of the show and then she sent over the picture of of little big tea wearing a georgia bulldog shirt and i mean the evidence again you could have been to your to your defense you could have been anywhere between the age of six and 14 in that picture i can't really tell my sister's like two so i was probably like seven i i didn't dress myself like i i didn't go out and buy that hoodie like it's such a dumb

it was six last week now it's seven your store keeps changing no i said i was like i'm pretty sure i'm seven in that picture listen there was so there was no age i ever wore a lakers shirt that's a fact well you weren't from los angeles and didn't like like every kid in georgia probably wears like it's so dumb i don't know i never like i never cheered for georgia ever i so you first you're claiming that you were six now you're claiming yeah i was seven but i didn't put on my own clothes in the morning when i was seven no i this is so stupid this is so dumb also area if the if the if the address his point all don't yeah i said i didn't buy my own clothes obviously i don't anyway if the argument is that

I, like, just want to root for whoever's good. I did a pretty shitty job of that, if that's the case. I mean, what a dumb argument that is. No, no, no, Georgia's always been good, brother. Tennessee, dude. I never cheered for Georgia. No, when you were growing up, that's wrong. You did cheer for Georgia.

That's the whole argument is. But when you were growing up, let's see, what year was you born? 97. See, when I was an infant, Tennessee was. So I'm saying, Tennessee was in school. When I was in school, we went four and eight. When you was seven years old, Tennessee, it was like

2004, three, four. Yeah, it was my first year. So, no, we weren't that good. No, absolutely. We went to, yeah, we went to a Also, well, I didn't, I wasn't a Tennessee fan. I mean, this is, I didn't care about Tennessee until I went there. So it sounds like you, you were never a fan of, you weren't a fan

until Aryan left. That's what I think is it sounds like. It also sounds like, you just admitted you weren't a fan. You just said you weren't a fan of Tennessee until you went there. So that would heavily imply that up until the age of 17 or 18 you were no i was actually a georgia tech fan growing up my uncles went to georgia tech one of them played basketball there i was a georgia a lot thick you were both big t standard tech you were doing split jerseys that's not that's not

a secret at all you had like a house divided bumper stickers on your locker in high school of university of georgia and georgia tech i have said i got almost suspended from school in fifth or six grade because I saw a girl wearing a Georgia shirt and I called her a name that I'm not going to repeat on this show. That's how much I hated the University of Georgia and still do to this day. I like, this is such a dumb, bro. What did you call her, bro? What did you call her? I literally can't say it on this show. Was it the hard C word? No. Or a hard end? All right. I'm going to go into it. Bro. That's not. Bro. Bro. Bro. Bro. You're not giving us much to work with.

I'm just curious what you called it. This is yours. It's a, it's, uh, yeah. What's a rhyme with? Uh, it was hard to rhyme it. It's just a run with quat. Three, it rhymes with tree tart. Tree tart.

Sweetheart. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah. Quee fart. Yes. Billy, what is it? I call her a quif fart.

I don't know. You should have just admitted that up front. Now their minds went wild. You called her an idiot, but you put a little twist on it. Yeah. Oh, got you. And I got it. Huge trouble for that.

Yeah. Do you apologize? Yeah. As a 11-year-old, I've ever old, I was like, yeah, this is a dumb storyline. You're a changed person. You've evolved as a human being. You no longer root for the University of Georgia as of, what, seven years ago? Sure.

sure just try to stay on the right path we'll keep you down there uh and then i also want to mention that billy's back in the studio for the first time yeah good to be back it's good to have that swing of things wow congratulations billy oh thank you billy's back big time we also have uh new fire shirts in the barcel sports store right now from acrodosing the fourth of july t-shirt is sick it's like red white and blue uh it's got frogs on it it's tie-dye it's amazing might be my favorite t-shirt that we have right now for this podcast yeah that's the one i need for sure yeah and get that's the that we'll ship those out and then we got macrodosing posters macro dosing stickers including my personal favorite the one that says Alex Jones is a CIA operative on there we've got stickers that say not a cop we need to get those to big tea investigate the Denver airport what else we got here we've got dose coin stickers just awesome merch check it out in the barcel sports Alex Jones is a CIA operative yep yep oh I'm glad you said that because that has not been said before yeah so I'm I'm pumped to

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So today's episode, I'm interested to see what you guys come up with because we're doing another one of the episodes where we all bring something to the table under the big umbrella of people who fake their own deaths or people who are still alive that we're told are dead. And we're probably going to be very wrong about a lot of stuff. But that's where it's fun is to get into some crazy conspiracy theories that maybe are the ones that we only believe and other people might not actually believe in it. So I'm pumped about this one. Is there anything else we want to clear up before we get into today's episode? Anything you guys got to get off your chest? Yeah, it doesn't like you or Billy have socks on. Is it sure?

I'm wearing socks. I'm confirmed sock wear right now. They're actually not even low rise. They're like above the ankle socks, but I'm wearing my penny twos. So these are high top shoes. Older the pennies. Yeah. So these shoes, these are, I don't know if you guys had anything like this when you're growing up.

But these were the shoes that I always wanted when I was in elementary school. And my parents were like, I am not spending $100 on a pair of basketball shoes for you. And so they would never buy me the penny twos. And I was like obsessed with them. And I really wanted a pair. And then we ended up getting a sponsor here at Barstle a couple years ago. And they had access to like all these shoes. And they said, what pair of shoes do you want?

And this was me like sticking it to my parents for when I was back in elementary school, not getting me a pair. I finally made it, mom. I'm rocking the penny twos overspent on them, but absolutely worth it. So when I was growing up, we used to have East Bay Magazines. Yeah. And so East Bay Magazine used to get sent to the house because it was free. And we used to circle the ones we wanted. Never got them.

We used to circle the ones we wanted. My biggest flex to this day is I was on the corner. cover of East Bay Magazine. Wow. Awesome. Did they send you anything? No, asshole. It's not I'm thinking about it. It should have sent me something. Because I ended up doing what you're doing. I going on a black market and getting some shoes that I used to circle

in that motherfucker that I never used to get. Yeah. But mine were those same pennies. And then the Scotty Pippins. I think they were two or threes. It was a Scotty Pippen. They should circle, which I used to one of them. So I had a pair. Tried them on super not comfortable shoes, but still got them. I feel like East Bay was the goat

back to school catalog. And he time it was the summer and you were starting to think about what you would be wearing in late August, early September, just get your hands on the East Bay Catalog and just look at, I don't know if kids even do that anymore. They probably don't have magazines that they look through. They just probably go online, just try to get that new drop on Stock X. But yeah, that was a big thing for us too. So today, let's get into it. People that we think are still alive that have been reported to be dead. There's a lot to get into out there.

This is like a pretty common thing that I feel like it used to happen a lot more than it does, where, you know, there was a golden age of people that were dead that everybody thought was still alive. Like the National Enquirer talking about Elvis still being alive, that's something that kept that newspaper in circulation for probably like 40 years. They were just like, oh, you want to, we need to move some papers. Let's either talk about Bat Boy or let's talk about El Elvis still being alive. And I did, I actually watched a video of, uh, this groundskeeper at

Graceland in, in Memphis, Tennessee that there was a rumor that he was actually Elvis and Elvis was still alive, but he just worked as a gardener at Elvis's own home. And it was just like a, it was just like a fat old white dude. And they're like, this is Elvis right here. And I honestly like, if that's the case, respect. And I, I hope that everybody leaves that guy alone, just in the off chance that it is Elvis. because I actually genuinely would admire him just like leaving Las Vegas. I mean, like, you know what? I'm just going to go just cut grass at my home. And then hopefully nobody will catch me there and I'll get away with it.

So I hope Elvis is still alive and kicking. There's also like reports that, not reports, but there were like the rumors that he was an alien or some shit like that. But I feel like this was something that people used to talk about a lot more. And you don't really hear about people faking their own death anymore. Hard to do. You know, the, yeah, it's harder to do it because cell phones. That's the same reason why alien video was getting less and less,

Bigfoot sightings, all these sides because people have cameras on them. Everybody's a reporter, so it's harder to, it's getting harder. I went through the Wikipedia page about famous people that have faked their own deaths, and it was like 90% British people. British people love to fake their own deaths. And they usually do it by, like, faking a drowning because all you have to do, do is just throw like your clothes into the water. And then you don't need to produce a body afterwards. But they all eventually get caught. But I was shocked that there were, I think,

five or six people on that list just in the last hundred years that have successfully faked their own deaths for up to and including like a year. So I consider that actually a win. If you fake your own death and you get away with it for a year, that's about the most that you can hope for. That to me is like a successful fake death. I wonder if like, um, if you you really wanted to do it. You could really do it like on some like plastic surgery shit, right? If you really wanted to get that deep into it, it might be a plausible thing to do. Hair like plugs. Like you could change the whole shit up. Like you can be unrecognizable if you really wanted to. You can transition to a different gender and and really, uh, never be seen ever again. Yeah. You could,

I always thought that faking your own death on Everest would probably be the easiest one to get away with because you just go there and then you just kind of once everybody starts going further up towards the top you just start going down and then everyone's like oh yeah we lost that guy but when you're on ever since every man for himself so no one like lanair yeah ever's actually kind of weird because sometimes since it's so cold the bodies stay there frozen for like years and they become like you know uh like points on the path people uses like landmarks Like in the snow They, yeah, there's literally

Like a left at gym No, seriously, there was I think there was guy in the purple parka Who they just like had his body removed That was like a big landmark I saw an article about earlier But that actually probably would make it harder Because people who die on Everest

There's usually evidence that stays for a long time Yeah, eventually the mountain is It's just getting taller and taller With all the dead bodies on it And they're like Sherpas that they used to send up there To get the bodies And then the Sherpers were finally

Like, fuck that. Like, why are we dying in order to get a dead person off the mountain? That seems counterproductive. So, yeah, I think for the most part, once you get above a certain level in Everest, they're just like, leave the body there. It just, it belongs to the mountain at this point. Yeah. Is there like a rate?

Billy Dudo is it like a rate as which people die? Like, is there like a? There's tons of bodies. The 1% of people die that I like, like, like, um, let me check it up. It's a really good book into thin air by John Crackauer that, talks about how Mount Everest has become like almost a like a tourist trap in a way where people like lost respect for the mountain. And so you could you could just train for like three or four months and then pay a tour guide to take you there. I think it was like a hundred thousand bucks

or something like that all in. And they would just walk you up to the peak of Mount Everest and then walk you back down. But it became almost too crowded. And that's why there was that one climbing season where they just had like a massive amount of deaths. because all inexperienced people on the mountain that should not be there whatsoever. It's a really good book, though. Check it out, especially if you like different ways and pronunciations and definitions for the word ice. They've got, I don't know what that guy's the source looked like, but there are like 20 different words that you use on a mountain to describe different forms of ice. It's one of those books where if you read it, you just get cold,

but it's still good. So there's about 300 to 300 bodies, frozen on the various different paths up the mountain, and there is a 0.5% death rate for women climbing the mountain and 1.1% death rate for men. This was recorded from 1990 to 2005. It's down from 1.9% and 1.7%. So it's actually very low. So women have a higher survival rate than men climbing this mountain. Yeah. But I think that might be skewed because of like... Give me a misogynistic take of the... No, no, the sample size.

I think there was more men who, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I think they count with it. I think women are just like, either I can do it or I can't. They're not trying to prove a point. Yeah. The left can go involved. I feel like, yeah. Like, Billy, I bet you think you could climb Mount Everest like tomorrow.

I actually, yeah, I was thinking about it. Dead. You'd be part of that one point seven. Dead. Women aren't really as big a part of full sin culture as guys. Right. Right. And so, yeah, we're liable to find ourselves up above the death line or whatever.

Be like, you know what? Fuck it. Let's just go for the peak. Whereas I think a woman would be like, I'd rather not die today. Right. Yeah, who am I proven this for? Well, I'm comfortable. I made it X high.

That's cool enough for me. It's probably also that, like, I would assume that up until recently it was predominantly men that tried to climb Mount Everest. And so when the conditions and like the safety measures were probably not as strong, it was mostly, mostly dudes just dying out there. I was reading this thing about how there's, like, people, like, if you have oxygen while climbing Everest, it's, like, super easy and they never had that always. And, like, some climbers, like, if you climbed Everest with oxygen tanks, like, it doesn't

count. Yeah. Which I actually think it's, like, pretty hard. Yeah. It's so hard over, it's hilarious. No, it's true. They look at you, like, if you go without oxygen, you're raw dog in the mountain. And if you use oxygen, it's like, well, anybody can do this.

I think I could do with oxygen What a weird little club To be in like you said You didn't really climb out Every thought There was there was that dude Who had climbed it successfully like three times And then on the fourth time died

Like that guy He was he was back He was the mountain He didn't respect the mountain enough The mountain had to show him Yeah I think at a certain point Like the like the adrenaline junkie

Like it's a drug Like at what point Are you like You know what I've Faced death enough three times climbing Mount Everest. I think I'm good. I'm straight.

How bad is your home life where you're like, I'm going back to Everest again? I'd rather not be here. Give me, yeah, I wouldn't even go one time. I don't even think I'd ever want to go to base camp out there. There's nothing that's attracted to me about climbing a mountain. I hate cold. I hate heights. I hate, I don't want to see a Yeti.

Yeah. Find the Yeti. I do love soup, too. and I feel like there's a lot of soup eating going on out there. That's the only thing. That's the only thing that, yeah, I'd only climb Mount Everest for the rich stews that you get to enjoy at night. So green boots is the name given to the unidentified body of a climber that became a landmark on the main northeast ridge route of Mount Everest.

So these bodies would literally become like, oh, it's green boot. I could, I could honestly, like, imagine worse places to be resting for all of eternity. At least your body's, like, totally first. frozen people use you as like a touchstone or is like a landmark on the side of a mountain. So and then maybe one day once medical science improves enough they can defrost you, bring you back to life since you're preserved. I don't hate it. That's a hell of a way to go out though.

You know what I mean? Like you become the landmark of people who are like climbing this mountain. Like I would just say that you use my name, bro, rather than green boots. Yeah. That's a hell of a way. If you're a mountain clamor, that's a cool little way to go out. Like, that's green boots, man. What do you guys think about, what do you guys think about Lee Harvey Oswald faking his death?

Because I feel like we talk a lot about JFK conspiracies, but I've never heard somebody bring up the fact that maybe Leo, he was, you know, in on it to an extent where the whole like Jack Ruby and all the conspiracies that go along with that, maybe Lee Harvey Oswald was never actually killed. That would honestly solve a lot of problems. Well, Jack Ruby shot him on camera. Yeah, he got shot probably. But you don't think he died? He might not have died. I don't know. That's just one that I'm throwing out here.

I'm not using my official pick on Lee Harvey Oswald. Yeah. The thought occurred to me when we were doing some research for it. Like, you hear about conspiracies all over the place in the JFK assassination, but you don't get the, like, what if Lee Harvey Oswald actually just straight up lived? Well, what if JFK straight up lived? I got, um, there's some pretty convincing video footage. there that would probably disprove that one.

I know. Riverbell's going to put it on the timeline this November. He will. Yeah, I don't think that, like, that type of special effects lined up back then. I don't know. The thing is, that's one of those things if, like, you know, the moon landing was fake, like, with all the TV technology, like, they had the editing technology. Like, there's a good chance that JFK's death might be fake.

You could, I think you could find some better places to, to fake a death than a parade in front of thousands of people. But that's why I was so convincing. Or at least like pick a different place to shoot them. Yeah. No, I'm going to be honest with a lot of these conspiracies and, you know, I have a bunch. Most of these people were very beloved. And that's, it's almost like the psychology behind it is that people don't want to accept that these people are dead. So they create these alternate realities that they're, you know, they somehow survives because it makes them feel better. So who's on that list of universally beloved people? Because the guy that I have, kind of the opposite. Well, actually, I, I had, so the, the rumors come from people who loved him

the most, especially with who you're talking about. But we'll get into that later. But Jesus, Jesus. So Jesus, yeah, you could say that like he did fake his own death, right? Yeah. Yeah. He was the first one. Three days. He just got hungry. He was like, all right, I fooled you all. I'm sick of pissing in this cave let me out all right so who wants to go first so I know I know Coley what you're going to get into

that's the guy that I have circled too so we can get into that in a little bit but we're positive it's the same guy I'm pretty much be it has to be yeah we're both talking about the H man right no oh all right then Coley why don't you go first I'm unsurprised do you want to talk about the

ace man no well it only I thought about not doing the H-man, but then I just figured everybody would be like, why didn't you talk about Hitler living in our future? So I was going to say, my nigga, who is the H-Man? And then you said, that was the last nigga on my list of the H-Man.

He-man? Young Dolph. So when you, when this text first hit the group, I somewhat misread the prompt. So I wrote like dead people who might not be dead. My first one

I wrote is anyone named Mortimer, they've got to be dead. And then I had Doc Rivers because I refuse to believe someone keeps going out there not having fourth quarter plays. But I was talking bin Laden. Oh, yeah. Bin Laden, we didn't exactly handle that. We didn't like take that body back here, parade him around the streets and be like, we got him.

We just kind of went off the word of Obama that like, no, trust me, we got him. got him in this cave and then we threw him in the ocean for no reason uh that one i pretty immediately that's the last one i can remember or most recent one i can remember where people were like are we sure this guy's dead so this wasn't what billy's talking about coming out of a place of love i think it's one of those things like like like sports are always better with a villain uh america's always better when there's a villain we can all collectively hate and that's that's been lot yeah it was kind It was crazy when they announced the way that they threw his body off of a boat into the Mediterranean Sea, right? Something like that.

And they said that's consistent with his religious wishes. And first of all, you're like, all of a sudden we're honoring Osama's religious wishes right now after we show. Probably his religious wish not to get shot in his eye. You have to imagine. That ship is probably sailed. And then just like the idea of telling the American public, we threw his body off a boat into the ocean. And so just trust us on this one. We verified it was him, though.

We checked it out. So we're all good to go on that one. It seemed like either a plan that was not very well thought out in terms of how the public would react to it. Or then it also just felt like you're getting lazy with your lies to America right now. Like do do a little bit better with that. But I do understand their logic, which was if you bury him somewhere, then his grave becomes like a place that people go to and he like lives on as a martyr or whatever. So right now, he just, he belongs to the sea. He's Neptune's problem now.

Bully, so do you think he faked his own death or we faked his death? Yeah, I guess that would technically not be him faking his own death. I just, I just think it's more suspicious of how it was handled. What if do you think it's possible we like, what would have been our motivation? Because like if that death was faked, it would have had to have been both parties, right? Like, he would have to want for people to think he's dead, too. Otherwise, he would just come out and say, I'm not dead. Well, there's a long history of bin Laden's involvement with our own CIA.

So I don't think it's that far-fetched to think that this was a yellow handshake agreement. So I'm just saying what was our motivation for to say he's dead when he's not? Oh, it's very much like when the Jets go out and sign someone just to make. the headlines it was good press do you remember like yeah was it Kurt angle who announced John actually I have the video up right now John Sina John Sina it was it was a it was a Sunday night I was watching Sunday night baseball it was the Mets and Phillies and that's where like I saw the whole crowd was chanting like USA and everything that was like the first iPhones and people were like

loading it on their their shitties Safari that like we had gotten bin Laden yeah I mean you're right it was I do remember that was like a crazy like landmark this was so hype I walked out here every night with hustle loyalty and respect on my sleeve that is a credo

I have adopted for the men and women who defend the freedom of this country we have caught and compromised to a permanent end Osama bin Lottie

yeah like the the fact that a lot of people they're the first person they heard it from was john seena via Vince McMahon you talk about a guy who writes these kind of storylines professionally better than anyone like yeah some don't smell right also you want to talk about didn't the rock tweet it yeah probably the rock tweet out earlier in that day like i've just received some information that if true we're like shocked the world and then and then that's right john Cena comes out and like confirmed. He's like, my source has also indicated. He was like rap sheet jumping on one of Schefter's tweets and just

putting a stamp on it. It's just so America. It's just like so America. Our fucking WWF or whatever the fucking is. Our entertainment figures are breaking the news that we killed a fucking political and then we just happened to give the credit to the Navy

seal that has like the loosest lips in the history of the American Armed Forces. And that there has, we've had them on, I think he came on part of might take, like a long, long time ago. Definitely is. Like, it's not a podcast in America that Rob O'Neill has not been on to talk about. He's the guy that killed him.

So, like, that's bad Opsack on the part of the United States. I think he came and talked to us, actually, one of my, one of the teams I was on, he came and talked about, like, he's one of the teams that went in there and killed him. Oh, I can't imagine how happy your coaches were to be like, yeah, this is exactly the kind of pep talk. Our boys need. But I loved bringing in, like, war, like, like, dogs. It was like, it's the weirdest in the world to me.

I'm like, when they got like, this is not motivating. I'm like, there's a lot of weird stuff that happened. Like, I'm, by the way, I respect the United States military, anyone who serves huge. Nice preface. I can't wait to hear what he's going to say something, and it's incredibly disrespectful. No, no, but there was a couple things where like the guy wrote the first guy that everyone thought killed Osama bin Laden, wrote a book. but apparently he was wrong and we have

Rob O'Neill who said oh yeah he was confused and then you know there were a lot of the Navy SEALs who were involved in the raid died in a helicopter crash which you know there's a lot of stuff that there's a lot of questions

and that's all I'm going to say but I'm very respectful you know anyway I'm not saying anyone's lying I like I like the idea that you guys threw out there that it was just like we we just got together with osama and we're like hey um let's just chill out we're not we're gonna act like you're dead it'll be like a two-party agreement here you just lay low for the rest of your life and uh we promise not to fuck with you anymore if you don't fuck with us it's like a gentleman's to go with coli's analogy it's like when a team signs like a quarterback that just got cut by another team for a week to get intel on what's going on and then they put them back out there they're like hey just meet us on this ship for a while then we'll let you go back to Abadabat for the rest of your life and just chill out. Promise Pinky swear not to start any more attacks against us. And we'll call it today. Didn't we fund the origins of al-Qaeda?

Oh, yeah. So it's like, it's not out of the realm of possibility. No. We're like, well, it was to beat the Russians. By the way, mission accomplished. Mission accomplished. So, you know. Quit Pro Quo says he needs something back.

Yeah. I'm saying, man. Yeah. Listen, the rise of Al-Qaeda was a small price to pay for that gold medal in Lake Placin. Yeah. Yeah, so that's a, that's a hell of a take about the OBL. It's an underrated joke. That's fucking funny, dog.

Oh, my God. Obviously, we disavow Al-Qaeda on this podcast. Yeah. Be the first to say it. Big T. you were vehemently oh vehemently okay you put an exclamation point i was wondering why you were are you at a golf tournament nigga what are you what are you it's a polo it's a golf shirt it is a golf shirt yeah i mean it's it's a polo like i don't know you got the fit wait is that this year's

college world series that's a brand new shirt bought it yesterday well big t let me ask you how would you go about faking your own death if you had to I mean, this isn't something I've thought about extensively. I feel like I'm solitary enough, I guess, would be the word, that I could go off the grid. I feel like I could just kind of go away. Like I go days at a time without, other than being at work, like I go days of time without really talking to like anybody.

It would take it. I could be well gone before somebody figured it out. Mm-hmm. People would just, I would just be scouring crowd shots of University of Georgia football games. Trying to find, like, where's Waldo? Faked his own death to go be a Georgia fan. You'd find it eventually. You got a bulldog.

He buys a bulldog. What about you, Arian? Terrible dogs, by the way. All, come on. I have a bulldog. We're not slandering white on this show. What's wrong with bulldogs? We disavow big T's anti-dog tactics.

Oh, a lot of dogs hate Bulldogs Hate Bulldogs Hate dogs Equally hate bulldogs Matter of fact Matter of fact This fucking weekend dog

Right It was Father's Day weekend I had all my kids It was amazing We had a great fucking weekend I almost killed a dog What? Yeah

So so so I live With one of my best friends Like we decided To move together Because it's my brother He was always hearing I was like moving So one of my best friends

Did it with me right He has a stupid fucking dog Her name is Lola Right And she's a, I don't even know what she is. Who cares? She just does. She's dog.

And so I hate her. I tell her I hate her all the time. I can't stand, but she's not allowed. There's just like section in the living room. I'm like, go get her off in the car. She's not allowed in the carpet. So I'm like, go get her off the carpet. I hate this bitch.

Right. So this weekend, uh, we buy bubbles for the kids. Kids love bubbles, bro. I guess so do dogs. So we blow in bubbles for the kids. And my daughter, who is three, right, loves bubbles. Love's fucking bubbles. So the bubbles are.

flying around this stupid fucking piece of shit animal runs up and tries to get a bubble and scratches my daughter in the face dog i almost fucking lost my mind fam i was livid dog i almost killed this bitch but he loves her so much than i didn't but if he if it was just like a dog on a street what kind of dog is it some kind of pit bully mix or something she i don't know enough about dogs but i know it's a dog and i hate it so fuck dogs wow um please I can't believe you live with a dog. I don't see her. I'm like, yo, get her away from me.

Like, he loves her. That's his thing. I respect him. He's one of the greatest human beings I've ever lived. That is his only flaw. He likes this stupid mother. Can I just ask you to do me favor and just don't, don't kill Lola, please? I will, listen, if there's a, I told her, as soon as I, as soon as it happened, I went

upstairs and I said, look at what your dog did. I didn't kill her. If she does it again, she's not going to be living. I'm just letting him know her. I feel it's not I gave him a shot but it was an accident if she does anything to them I don't give a fuck

what does that mean it was an accident what if you like your friend's child was over and accidentally like you know like hurt you as a human being that can be reasoned with I can reason with that child

and say you probably shouldn't do this here are the reasons why we all make mistakes that dog cannot be reasoned with soon as that nigga get hungry soon as they get angry there's no reason he's doing what it feels

she's doing what it fills and I can't trust it and I don't trust it I won't trust it. Fuck dogs. Let me ask you this because you're big on like the history of humanity and and how we've evolved. Dogs chose to evolve alongside of us.

Like does that it's like built into their genetic code. They were shooting in the gym with us. That's the wrong take, really. They were in their, they were not shooting. They were domesticated 10,000 years ago, Billy. We have been evolving for billions of years. What the fuck are you talking about? So you're saying it's too new?

They're not new on the block. No, no, no, I'm saying, what are you new to trust? I'm, I'm against you, Colie, hold on. I got to, really, Billy, relative to our human evolution, they were not shooting with us in the gym. Like, shooting with us in the gym would be like, would have, like, warding off, like, primal, like, predators. They weren't. This is 10,000 years ago. Time about, how long ago do you think dogs were domesticated?

Well, the thing is, like, proper domestication, but there used to be packs of dogs. that would follow human hunter gatherers and do things like keep the bears away because bears don't want to mess with like 10 dogs and they just like when we kill our dogs they were wolves this is what I'm saying right but they were like these that halfway point between they're like the nicer than wolves but like yeah they were like between dogs and wolves like we domesticated we domesticated wolves right because we're a fucking egotistical beings we we want domain over things which is obvious right they are just hungry they were like oh this is an easy source of food i keep going to this nigger this nigger keep feeding me i won't bite him

but like cats i could understand that argument for cats we talk okay go ahead well the cats they just they would just come with humans because they would there's mice would follow humans like varmint and then the cats would be like there's a ton of food around these humans let's just hang out around And then us humans were like, yeah, they can stay around because they kill the rats and rodents. And that's how we like sort of chilled. But I don't think cats. That's literally what happened with dogs. What was the difference?

Exactly. But dogs like helped us. How? They like the bears away. They kept away. Yeah, they kept the bears away. They kept the bears away. Let me ask you this, Arian.

Since your buddy moved in with you, has there been any bear attacks in your house? You know, now that I think about it. You might got a point, dog. Checkmate. You might have a point. No, I mean, listen, it's kind of illogical, but I just love dogs. I just love dogs. That's all the boys down to.

All this little shit that was witness in the gym doesn't make any sense. There's no rational reason other than you grew up with dogs. Well, I grew up with different kind of dogs, right? So one of my best friends, not this nigga, another one of my best friends, he grew up in Uganda. I might have told the story already, but he grew up in Uganda. One of our first points that we really clicked on was not liking dogs because he grew up around wild dogs. because he grew up around wild dogs, right? So he grew up around dogs that, like, would chase him and kill him.

And they were killers. Like, that's what they did. They were dogs. They were wild dogs, and they liked to eat things and eat people. And so, like, I grew up in the neighborhood, there were stray dogs. They were not on leashes. They were not domesticated in the way that y'all are the fluffy ones in purses. I didn't grow up around those dogs, right?

I grew up around the ones that would chase you on the way to school that would, like, you'd have to throw rocks at them. Like, I grew up around those dogs. So it's like, I don't have this, like, fuzzy filibals. for these niggas like y'all do i fuck these days and then and as soon as i let one in my house it fucking attacks my daughter no fuck dogs yeah that doesn't help dogs uh PR in your eyes you know what was it what was you you had a point though call it what was your what was your uh we got to get you a puppy area and that's the thing like get a small dog that grows up

around you and it'll melt your little heart you'll just fall in love with it and it'll change your mind i think it's too late for arian and dogs i think it's too late the joker was the best philosopher of all time and he said cut it cut you up in a thousand pieces and say how loyal hungry dog is they don't give a fuck you just what a fool at fam hey but you know would keep away wild dogs and nasty stray dogs guns well a nice dog that's your friend no won't if they hungry they're going to eat him too yeah wouldn't that be the first one that he was going in but that dog also think he was going into an ad there no i was going this is an ad for dogs

you know what would keep away hungry dogs and I was like what can't we have ads for today? Cain is Lupus. Man spray I literally I was like what ads are there what is he about to say?

It wasn't that at all. promo code macro get a puppy for free buy one get one free free returns, replacements if you lose them or if you're stolen if arian shoots one of them You can get one sent out free of charge.

Just please don't kill Lola. That's all I'm asking. If you really love dogs, you wouldn't kidnap their children. Listen, the only picture I'm hoping doesn't exist or come out in the future, much like Big T, wearing his Robert Edwards, Georgia jersey, is like Aaron Fawes were just asleep on the couch with like a puppy curled up on his chest, just having the best sleep of their lives. I got a dog in

2016. I got a, I got a Siberian Husky. And the person that I was with at the time was like, yo, let's get a dog. And I was like, okay, I'm going to get over this. I'm going to get over this. I wanted to get over it. And I got him trained.

I was like, I'm not going to have a dog that's not trained, right? So I got him trained. So he listens on command. He does what you say. He's literally off leash. I could take him off leash in the mall or whatever. All that did was let me know that I like, him and still don't like any of the rest of the dogs that's fair that's it it didn't do anything else

so i don't like them all right i thought we were going hang on hang on y'all check the macrodocin g in here in about one second i thought we're about to have a lena dunham situation for aaron foster there like i got a dog a couple years ago uh yada yada um i hate dogs now it's photoshop it's photoshop what's the what's the story behind that one it's photoshop my nigger is that like a poland not so we're just we just got that could very easily be photoshop we got text to the picture here of a a arian foster it was a jq it was a gq shoot it's photoshop feeding a doberman pincher a carrot that's probably why that dog hated you you give him shitty food with dogs like carrots

no wait that wasn't photoshop then i'm thinking about it yeah oh i remember that though i remember that though yeah that nigger was trained good dogs are trained those dogs are Just don't kill Lola. Oh, that's not true. They're not. Most dogs you grew up around Big T. Yeah, most dogs aren't trained. Big T.

Who's your person? But we can get him a good dog. Right. I don't like that dog, but the concept of dogs he's out on. I understand. It's ego. A dog would help you fake your own death. I don't disagree with that.

How so, Billy? Just, I don't know. It would. If it could. See, that's me, like, if you've got a dog that you love, That would be a big argument to not fake my own death because I wouldn't want to break my dog's heart. That would probably, I would totally tell my dog if I'd fake my own death. You would tell him?

You'd be like, hey, dude, just chill, just chill, play along. Act sad. When the cops come, sniff around for me. You go to stay with my mom. Everybody grab it. Big T, who do you got? Who's your person you want to talk about? So mine is Steve Jobs.

I don't know if you all have seen the picture from a couple years ago. There's a guy in Egypt who somebody photographed at like a, like a cafe, I guess, and it literally is Steve Jobs. He's wearing like a robe type deal, and he's barefoot, which apparently Steve Jobs liked to do. Like, I don't know if it was in the office or whatever, but he liked to go around barefoot a lot. And this guy is not wearing any shoes,

and it just literally is Steve Jobs. And Steve Jobs seems like a guy who, you know, he had pancreatic cancer, I think it was. And then, like, I don't know whether it, they, he, whatever would have happened. And he was like, you know, I've had enough of this. He just seems like a guy that would have wanted to get away and go live the rest of his life and solitude. Mm-hmm. I'm looking at the picture right now.

It looks a lot like him. And Steve Jobs would know how to stay off the grid, right? Like he designed the eye. Yeah, better than anybody. The grid. Yeah. He's the grid master. So, yeah, he would definitely know how to do it.

Now, what do you know about his illness, though? Because, like, pancreatic cancer is no joke. and that's when it's got like a man. I mean, I find it equally plausible that Steve Jobs overcame pancreatic cancer and moved to Egypt as that we struck a deal with Osamo. So I mean, I'm going to be honest. The main thing I look at when you try to see if two people are the same

is you got to look at their ears. And the ears tell you more than the face because you'll see like different like lobes and like because each ear almost is like super unique. So that's how you can tell if like two people are the same. So what do you say about this one? What do you think about the ears? Well, if you look like, I don't know the words for the actual parts,

but if you look at the ears, they have different lobes. Steve Jobs is more round and this one's a little more dangly and also like the cartilage construction. That's what I look at. Don't you think that he would know that though and he could get, I feel like plastic ear surgery would be one of the easier surgeries to undergo. Yeah. That's outpatient. You're in and out same day.

Yeah. You just clip it. They do it to dogs. Huh. But like that's, but that's. But they're like you look at me when you said that. So, wait, do you actually believe that Steve Jobs is still alive, Big T? Um, I find it plausible.

Like if, like, if someone was to want to fake their own death, I find that he would be someone who would want to do that. Why, why do you think that? Because I feel like Steve Jobs is also a guy that's just obsessed with being successful and obsessed with, like, learning. But he lived that. I mean, he did that for decades. And I feel like after, you know, at some point, how much higher can you go? And maybe he just wanted to go live out the rest off the grid that he created. He's like the first person to be like, fuck power.

I've had enough power. I mean, I don't know. I can't speak to Egyptian Steve Jobs' reasoning for wanting to fake his own depth. But it seems plausible to me. Have you been having trouble sleeping lately? Well, let me tell you something about Helix mattresses. Helix sleep has a quiz that just takes two minutes to complete and matches your body type and sleep preferences to the perfect mattress for you.

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Take their two-minute sleep quiz and they'll match you to a customized mattress that will give you the best sleep of your life. Helix is offering up to $200 off all mattress disorders and two free pillows for our listeners at helixleep.com slash dose. That's helixleaksleep.com dash dose for up to $200 off in two free pillows. Sleep better. the explanation I might buy is that he got he was instrumental in creating the grid he saw how far the grid was going and where technology was leading and he was like you know what this is this is kind of scary even to me Steve jobs so I'm going to piece out because it's going to get worse before it gets better actually like if we're going back to the episode we're talking about the singularity like maybe he saw he was like the best thing I can do for the world is to stop working for Apple and let Tim Apple take over and screw the company up. And then that way, we're just, you know, we're getting further away from having robots take everything over.

So maybe Steve Jobs, maybe he's a hero. I don't know. I think he said Tim Apple. Tim Apple. That's what he's always going to be known as. Comedy, man. So I'm looking at the picture of Steve, alleged Steve Jobs in Rio de Janeiro. And it looks like he's being pushed around a wheelchair.

There's another version of Steve Jobs down there, Steve Trebaho down in Brazil. and he is this actually looks more like him I think than the other one he looks now he's sick he's like a little bit

emaciated in this one but this to me looks more like Steve Jobs than the other one have you guys seen this one yeah I'm saying you on Trebaha yeah

the ears are the ears are yeah Steve works yeah I don't think I don't think your jokes are as appreciated

as they should be it's because you don't you don't you don't I don't it's not the delivery because the delivery is perfect they're just maybe too subtle no trust me it's better that we just become his speech pattern yeah normal speech is just I'm just always everything I say is a joke we don't need to take we don't need to take time out to be like oh PFT run that joke back real quick that was sick okay so I'm I'm of the ilk that you should give people their flowers because I'm like died a night nigger that's that's some brilliant she's

shit you have laid out. I'm sorry. That's Steve Trebaho. That's fucking hilarious, though. I'm looking right now. Steve Jobs is not living a secret life in Brazil, but his twin caught in a Reddit selfie. He's a hunter with ALS. So they found fake Steve Jobs and they identified him. So after Reddit user, the horse size duck posted the photo with the caption, Steve Jobs is in Rio de Janeiro, brought out conspiracy theories that he had escaped to South America. And the man is actually an American truce. transplant living in Rio named Andy Hahn. In 2006 at age 45, Han was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, a disabling disease of the nerve cells and the brain and spinal cord. And he generally prefers wearing camouflage over basic black. And he's actually a, he's a blogger. So he blogs about being a hunter with a disability, which actually, that was probably great for his blog traffic, like having that picture go viral. And he's like, yeah, guess what? It's just me.

I do a blog about hunting. Probably had a record date for page views on that one. But yeah, apparently that is not Steve Jobs in Brazil. I do think, though, that, like, if pancreatic cancer kills Steve Jobs, then it literally could kill anybody. Like, he's the one dude that would probably have access to all the future shit that nobody knows about.

Like, when Jeff Bezos dies, if he dies of a disease that any of us can get, we're all fucked. But from my understanding, I could be wrong with this. From my understanding, he refused, like, the treatment that the doctors were recommending. And, like, he was, like, trying to do, like, the whole plant-based, like, just organic healing type thing. But he refused, like, the regular administered cancer treatment. That, from my understanding, I could be wrong with that.

Yeah, he'd only eat. But, like, yeah. I can see that. I just remember hearing that. I remember hearing that, like, he didn't, he didn't want the traditional way of combating cancer. Like, he wanted to, like, do it, like, naturally or something. something like that yeah jobs only ate fruit he only ate fruit in nuts that's weird that's a very that's a very strange that's a very strange diet not enough it was he was a frugal with a bird out here

yeah it was like a like a black bear yeah extreme diet and fasting habit needed a wolf to um so steve jobs okay i i'm gonna say the jury's still out on that one big tea do you do you want steve jobs to still be alive? Good question. I want everybody to be alive. I don't want anybody to die. That's no one? You just cheered Osama bin Laden's dead.

Okay. I want terrorists to be dead. Okay. Other than that, that's a slippery slope there. You're right. You're right. How deep you want to go down that rabbit?

Whose definition are we working off here on terror? Is that very subjective? If any jobs wants to wants to be alive and left alone in Egypt. I want that for him. You should be able to just declare yourself dead. That would spare everybody a lot of problems. Like if you wanted to go about faking your own death and all that shit, just save everybody some time. Save the, uh, the like detectives and private investigators and your family members of the time. If you actually just want to be like, hey, for all intents and purposes, just consider me dead. I'm going to hit the reset button

and go try this whole life thing out in Canada. You should be, there should be a way and a a method where you can just disappear yourself like that, like in Better Call Saul, but legal. I mean, logically, Steve Jobs dying would be amazing because he could give, like, God, some tips on how to, like, update society because he does a great job updating, like, his software, but, like, our software, our human software is a little outdated, and it's time for, yeah, humans are not, we're not very user-friendly. We could use some- Yeah, I've got a running list of just gripes with, God that I'm hammering out to turn into a blog series. And one of them is fucking

pollen. He made the air too spicy for us. Like what a oversight from from God. Like what an idiot. There's actually a really good reason for pollen. And I don't remember why. I'm sure there's a good reason for pollen. It's a terrible reason for humans to be allergic to the air. But that's only some humans though. That's the weaker humans. Listen, I didn't use to have pollen allergies and the past couple years, that shit has been put me in a headlock. So I don't know if he got, I don't know if he updated the pollen. I think it has to do with moving, like the pollen you grew up with, you don't have bad allergies, but then when you go to different areas, like, you don't, you can't, you're not used to it.

Yeah. Maybe. I would also like to add to this list, Coley, like, God, what's up? Why do I have nipples? What's the purpose in me having? Yeah, I got too many nipples. I have an abundance of nipples. but like why do dudes have nipples don't get it you have extra there is I got there is a reason

I got four nips yeah you have yeah or nipples yeah so is that a little bit too dog like for you area do you hate me now too so I got that they had six I got one right here that guy's a nipple right down real having nipples yeah it's a nipple it's a tiny little nipple but it's a nipple and then I got a really small one that one's like more like a nub over on this side I got to feel it yeah there it is I got to feel it out because I It's like a real thing. You have real extra nipples. Yeah, but I mean, they don't, they're not like big Hershey kisses.

And I've got small nipples to begin with. But these are these extra ones. The superfluous third nipple down here is probably like, I would say a tenth of the size. You ever see like the pictures of the solar system where it's like this is the sun and the next to the sun. It's like I would say if my nipple is the sun, my third nipple is Jupiter about proportionally. Hmm. So yeah, it's not full on it.

A big planet there. It is a big planet. It's got a giant red spot on it. too yeah um so yeah nipples the map of our solar system is on pf t who that's that's nipple talk and then i'm not going to make the uranus joke because then arian would make me stop and we'd have to talk about that for a while but uh yeah as far as steve jobs that was that would have been low hang of free it would have been yes uh steve jobs possibly still alive big t wishes all the best for him because he's for sure freedom fighter um and he's also wait he's syrian right

yeah he's Syrian so like I don't I don't know it would stand to reason that like genetically there are some people that probably bear some physical resemblances to them that live over in Egypt or the Middle East that makes sense it could be a long lost brother I think he was he was adopted too right yeah I think he was like a Syrian refugee yeah or shit you got some twins out there yeah huh you never know um all right Billy um so I have a couple I mean, I got Elvis, there's stuff about Elvis, there's stuff about Michael Jackson, Princess Diana. Michael Jackson is dead. Are you sure? And then rest of peace. I don't actually believe in any of these, but the conspiracies were proposed. So for Elvis, there was a theory that, so Elvis was extremely patriotic. He served in the Army.

I think he was in Germany for a while. And he would routinely visit the FBI office. And the idea is that the FBI enlisted Presley's an undercover agent in 1976 to help the agency infiltrate a criminal organization called the fraternity, which was like basically organized crime happening in Vegas. And that's why he was doing his residency in Vegas. And basically Presley got into deep, needed to go into witness protection. So, you know, he faked his death and he's somewhere out, you know, on. a ranch somewhere chilling probably is past by now but that is the theory um side note he has one of the cooler deaths of all time fam on the toilet on the toilet diet on the shitter bro that's kind of fire to go out like that wasn't he was he eating a sandwich too or did the simpsons just add that detail i think i'm unaware of the peanut butter and banana he was so he was a big he was a big sandwich fan yeah love sandwiches not out of the question who's not like only fuck with sandwiches

Do you know, do you know how much you have to be like a sandwich freak to be like the biggest pop star? You're the biggest pop star in the history of music in the United States. And the thing that you're known for is you fucking love sandwiches. What was this? He probably had to eat like seven sandwiches a day for that to overshadow the rest of you. You know who did die with a sandwich in their mouth? The Mama Cass. Yeah, the one from the Mamas the Puppets, right?

Yeah. Yeah. So. So that's ham sandwich. The larger female member of the Mamas and Pappas. Mamas and Pappas. MamaCast. They sang California Dreaming.

Yeah. But, um. Yeah. So then the, the, um, next part about Elvis is that Elvis's, uh, wife, Priscilla Presley, uh, was on Oprah and basically said, um, it's exactly what he said the other day before correcting herself. Basically, like, he was still alive. He was talking about how Presley spoiled their daughter, and she was like, it's exactly like what he did the other day, meaning like he's still alive and living with them. But I don't think this is true. I think like stuff with like Michael Jackson, President Diana and Elvis, they were all so universally beloved that people rather believe in these alternate theories than actually like reality because reality was really tough.

Like Michael Jackson died. Like you love Michael Jackson. I also think that dying on the show. or if you're going to fake your death, you probably wouldn't have it be dying on the shitter, right? You probably, they would just be like, they would probably just omit that part and say he was found in his hotel or in his apartment. But that would be a good reason to why there's no pictures of the body or anything because he was, he was like half naked on the bathroom. He was 10 steps ahead. Yeah.

Wow. That would be a good, you know. But so for Michael Jackson, Paris Jackson was talking about how she thought that her father. had been murdered by the Illuminati or people trying to seek to get to stop paying royalties on his albums um they haven't heard that yeah a Spotify killed him according to website like a federal agent came forward in 2015 to expose jackson's final phone calls or it seemed like he was already aware of a plot being hatched for his murder by federal agents so there was a note that said they're trying to murder me the system wants to kill me for my catalog that's what the sun

had reported at some point um all this kind of goes to this like very conspiracy type place um but like for example her sister latoya uh his sister latio jackson indicated that jacks was killed by business interests there's a lot of this going around um there's tons of conspiracies this is another one where it's just like people can't handle the reality that the king of pop died and it's one of those things but you know there is you know there could have been paranoia later in life that was being medicated with the opioids that did kill him. So who knows? So another big part of it.

So it wasn't just his catalog, right? So Michael Jackson also purchased a large portion of the Beatles catalog as well. And he did it in the most gangster way ever. Like Michael Jackson, he's this real soft-spoken, but I think it was a shark. So like McCartney went to him, was like, yo, like let's go half on the, on the Beatles catalog. And then I'll buy you back with the, you know. as it do as it makes with it. And he was like, okay, back.

Michael Jackson, when the Brown's back, it's like, the whole shit. He was like, I didn't know that was for sale. I'll take that. And so I was like, he, oh, I mean, his catalog, Beatles catalog, like, that's a hell of a. So it's like, it's good conspiracy breeding grounds, right? But I can't, I can't, I don't know.

I know, I know his, the circumstances, his death was hell of, hell of weird. Like, um, I know, uh, the, the drug that he was getting administered feels really good. And like I said, I think I said it on here before. I once got a surgery just to fill that on my pinky. And so, like, you have a doctor on call and I can get that shit anytime. You know, that's, that's not the healthy shit in the world.

But, like, I can't speak to, like, the federal agents wanting to take over your catalog. That's wild. Speaking of Paul McCartney, there was also the I am the walrus reverse. If you reverse, I am the walrus, there was a Paul is dead. Paul is dead. If you reverse the music. Everyone thought Paul McCartney was dead and been replaced. So that was another fake death type thing going on.

Yeah. So, you know. Well, that's real death fake alive. Yeah, fake alive. Avril Levine, I feel like there's a couple of those. M&M. John Bonnet Ramsey became Katie Perry. Jack Mack inadvertently may have found out that the Avrilavine shit's got legs.

We were, when he did his like conspiracy like thing on Twitch, whatever, I was in there one day with him and the thing with Avril Lavigne was there was a pizza shop in her hometown she's Canadian I think and then whatever she's from Canada there's a pizza shop that had like her favorite pizza and named it after her and the girl that supposedly Avril Levine now went in there one time and like didn't know what it was

or something or seemed to act like she like when Avrilovine would have and so Jack Matt called that pizza shop and asked about that and the guy was like who do you work for? And Jack Vives, oh, I'm like a reporter. And he goes, I can't say anything about this. I've already said too much and hung up the phone. And so since then, I do actually kind of believe the Avrilavine thing after that.

I'm going to realize I think it was a Canadian dude who works at a pizza shop just fucking with Jack Bac. It was the owner. You know, this guy. You don't know that. Well, he spoke kind of like broken English, like he sounded Italian. Like, this was the dude. This was the guy. And he seemed very rattled that a quote reporter was calling about the Avrilavine store.

What I looked up about that kind of stuff, the whole clone thing that they're replacing people is more than often than not is people are just going to rehab and disappearing for a while, like getting their life in order. And then they come back. They're just healthier looking. Yeah. Gucci man. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Gucci was a big clone.

Gucci. Gucci man was like, he had that. You know, he had a hoodnick of a body. you know what I'm saying, drinking, eating like shit, and then he went to jail, came back, he actually rap's better. I don't know if I could kill for saying that shit, but, like, post-jail Gucci is a way better rapper

than pre-jail Gucci. And I, I'm not a huge Gucci fan, but like, he can snap. He enunciates his words more now. Like, he flow, his whole flow change. And, like, I get why people say he have flown. Like, I understand it, but, like, he, I mean, he has that huge, he had that huge lean. gut like yeah fat and then I mean he just couldn't I'm sure he could drink lean in prison but I think

he he decided to cut it out yeah yeah started to go to you yeah so when was avril levin when was she rumored to get replaced that was a thing like maybe I don't know 10 years ago like was that after she broke up with the guy from some 41 and then she upgrade like new averil is now married to the guy from nickel back yeah 2003 is saying And, yeah, 2003 is when she fake, allegedly the clone swap happened. True. We got to get Dave up there to do a pizza review at that pizza shop and see how she reacts to it. Yeah.

She does look different. But again, I think that that's, I was doing some research into the John Bonnet Ramsey homicide a couple days ago, too. And the theory that she became Katie Perry, which is just wild. Like, it's just, people just love to take anybody that's a. celebrity and then be like, yeah, they're actually the reincarnation of this person for a long time ago. But the John Badae Ramsey case is actually crazy to get into when you start looking at her dad and how her dad like could have faked the ransom note and tried to write it so it looked like he was framing his own wife as the killer. It's some crazy shit. Look into that way. We might

have to do an episode about the John Bonae Ramsey case. But yeah, you got any other ones, Billy? I got a couple more. Let's go. I got Princess Diana. This one is another. one where people are just like you know the royal family has been known to do some sketchy shit not recently but throughout history so it's not what you got to cite some sources on this one billy no like they're diversifying their family and everything name what name one bad thing the royal family in england has ever done the war of the roses yeah i know there's that's what talking almost exclusively bad things no but basically um they think that she was very well there's also the thing that they think prince harry's the bodyguard son not the not charles's son so they think

that it had something to do with that i mean here he looks exceptionally british and exceptionally ginger and nothing like charles i'm pretty sure that if you go back in the bloodlines of was the house of windsor they probably have one or two redheads true true but he who He looks like a guy in the hawks. Oh, he looks like Kevin. Hearder. That's hurtful. That's painful.

But basically, Diana herself thought she was going to be killed and may have faked her death to avoid being assassinated. Her butler was given a letter to, you know, basically say I'm this particular phase in my life is the most dangerous. someone is playing an accident in my car break failure and serious head injury in order to make the path clear for Charles to marry um you know there's history diana like basically at the time she was having car problems she had fears about them and her bodyguard had died in an accident who they thought and she even thought he was killed so there was a little couple things going around there so she may have you know had a deal with her driver to fake her death so that she gets out of all that, you know,

conspiracies, like the stuff that she was worried about. But basically, the paparazzi at that time was, like, hounded Diana. And everyone thought that there was explosions in the tunnel,

but there's flashing lights because there's like, like three cars of paparazzi's all taking pictures of her in the lights back then. It's a dark tunnel. So they're just flashing. And the driver did have a BAC level that was decently high. sounds like you're making a great case for a car accident yeah well i'm trying to like i'm trying to rationalize all these like to because they are kind of crazy we can't just believe that people are you know then you really lose touch with reality that's what i try to do what if we're all dead right now and

this is just simulation exactly well boom i really think it's a simulation yeah i can see like a little shit like so like we we we kill osama bin laden and like his niece later on is like a trump supporter like this shit is wild that's like a you couldn't write this shit now it's fucking hilarious Obama's brother blows my mind what's up at this thing he's a huge Trump guy huge Trump guy half yeah he's in Africa it's like ridiculous he's in Kenya right yeah yeah he's like he's like walking around all the time with a maga hat on and his name is Obama and he's like I love Trump he's got totally cool change his last name or it's not real.

Excuse me. Got my muggle liberal tears here. I love him just being like, he's just all America. He doesn't like actually look into it. He's just like, no, he's the new guy. He took over for my cousin. I'm all in. But yeah.

And now I have a couple examples of real people who like got away with faking their death. So this one dude who was a wrestler, he was like low level wrestler. There was a worn out for his rest in 1978. his name was balassock here let me find this uh and he basically convinced is his restaurant his name was uh last name balasoc uh and he basically got his mother to look at the times magazine article about the jones town massacre and point out three bodies that could look like him his wife and son and basically that's how he faked his death he went to the hiding to get out of um he missed his bench warrant you know was just hiding out and he got his mother to basically

say that's my son that's his wife that's them they're all dead and it worked because the jones town bodies by the time everyone got there it all decomposed and at that time were undiscoverable unidentifiable so then they were buried in oakland and this guy like really got it done and the thing is he didn't know that he had passed the statute of limitations on his original thing he went into hiding for so he was ended up committing what he got caught after his first um uh statute of limitations was up and he got caught committing fraud as another identity and that's how he ended up actually getting um caught because he had to commit fraud to um uh keep in hiding but if he just came out of the woodwork so many years later the statute of limitations would have been up on

him. So that's another one where he got away. He almost got away with it if he didn't. Jerry Ballasock was his name. He was an American professional wrestler known as Mr. X. So he was big in the south. He played like this role of Mr. X, which was common amongst regional wrestling venues before the WWE was well established. And he really, you know, he almost got it done. He was just living a new lifestyle. And they got him like, I think it was, um, 50. years later he died in 2013 but why did he why did he figure that though like he wasn't like that known he wasn't that known but he was check for oh yeah check forgery so he like had like a like a decent warren out and he'd probably go to 13 counts of check forgery for writing bad checks over international

lines so 13 counts yeah so i mean i think that would put him i wrote 13 checks in my whole life back then but um yeah so he did it he stole his cousin he he broke into the home of his second cousin stole his birth certificate driverlies and social security card and then used them to assume uh his cousin's identity and yeah he basically did it he was like the one guy found in like modern times who was able to get away with faking his death until he got caught for forgery well i'm sure that there have been a lot of people that have gotten away with it. True. Yeah. We're never going to know, though.

Right. Exactly. One of my favorite historical cases is a dude named Timothy Dexter, and he grew up in Massachusetts, and he grew up, like, super poor, right? He had no formal schooling or education, and he's known for just being, like, everyone hated him. He was the most lucky person when it came to business to the point where, like, other rich people would play pranks on him to try to get him to, like,

ruin his entire fortune by investing in the worst possible things. And he just kept getting richer and richer by accident. So at one point, they were like, hey, hey, Tim, I heard there's a lot of money in shipping coal to Newcastle, which was like the biggest coal mining town, maybe in the world at the time. He's like, yeah, that's a great idea. I'll do that. So we got a ship, sent a bunch of coal over to Newcastle, which is like the old, in Tommy Boy, they're like, this guy could sell like ice at the North Pole or whatever. It's essentially the same. thing selling coal in newcastle so he sends a ship over across the ocean and when it arrives in newcastle it's right in the middle of a minor strike that he had no idea what's going to happen nobody had any

idea so he got he got even more wealthy on that and then they're like god damn we got we got to we got to get this timmy guy hey timmy i hear i hear you can make a shitload of money if you send gloves over to the west indies like a place where you would never need gloves in like one of the hottest climates and he put a shitload of gloves on a boat, shipped them over there, and they got there right as Portuguese boats were about to leave to go to China. And all the Portuguese people, all the sailors were like, yeah, we should probably get these gloves for a time at sea. So we just kept getting like luckier and lucky with all his investments, but everyone continued

to hate him. And at one point, he was like, you know what, these people, I want to see, I want to see how they'd act if I died. So he faked his own death. and he uh there was a funeral with 3,000 people and he was watching it he was watching the funeral and you got pissed off in the middle of it because his wife wasn't crying and so he came out and confronted everybody he's like I'm still alive and I see how you guys all treat me and then he he came his wife at his own funeral and uh yeah just real real real real piece of shit weirdo

that Timothy Dexter but one of the most like would have made a great college football coach yeah Yeah, that's what I say. The huge-free's your vibes. Yeah. Yeah. That is so, like, but everybody wants to watch people at their own funeral. Like, I have visions. I'd be lying at the other than I said, I have visions of what people are going to say at my funeral, like, when I'm dead.

Like, he fucking did it. That's fucking dope. Shout out to Dexter. Shout out Dexter. Well, he also shipped a bunch of bed warmers to the West Indies to, like, insanely hot islands. And he lucked into making a. fortune off that too. So really everything that he did, I think the U.S. government like had to bail them out or had to buy these bed warmers for some military use or something at the time. So he just

kept lucking his way into good fortune until, oh, then he used to also tell people that his wife was dead. And then, uh, she was very much alive. So that's probably why she wasn't super mournful at his funeral. Sounds just like a real weirdo that Timothy does. He was kind of, he was kind of right, though. Like he kept getting like fortunate and everybody was hating on And he was like, fuck y'all. Like, I get it. Yeah, I'd rather be lucky than good, right? Or the harder you work, the luckier you get.

So that's Timothy Dixford. I'm going to get back to the episode in a second. But before we do, we've got a very special ad from a very special partner at BetterHelp. We really truly love you guys. We appreciate our listeners. We're going to get serious for a second. The last year has been hard on a lot of people. So that's why we're doing something new.

We're partnering with our new sponsor, BetterHelp. online therapy. A lot of us take care of our bodies, but it's been a tough year and we might also want to think a little bit more about taking care of our minds. I remember I went through some issues a couple years ago. I had a loss in my life. I spoke to a therapist and it was very helpful getting me through some of these feelings I was having. Help me feel better. Help me understand why I was feeling down and why I was feeling the way that it was. There's a misunderstanding out there sometimes what therapy is because it can be whatever you want it to be. It doesn't have to be sitting around talking about your feelings. A lot of people, they battle with their temper or if

their stress is too much to manage. If you have depression, anxiety, PTSD, the list goes on. So if this is you, you can probably use some therapy to get some tools that make life easier. Arean, have you spoken with a therapist in the past? Yeah, I got my therapist on call, man. Recently, actually, I've been going through a lot lately. And in order to kind of help sort and compartmentalize what I'm going through, I think a lot of times we grew up with the stigma that therapy is for either weak people or broken people or whatever the case may be. And it's just, it's just the pathway to healthy mental health,

man. It's just a healthier, healthier lifestyle. And I'm an advocate for it. I think it's necessary to try to understand yourself and try to bring some peace in your life. For sure. Yeah, if you take care of your body, you should also be taking care of your mind. And everyone's struggling with something from time to time that's no shame in that. You don't have to tell everyone your personal business, but you can talk to a therapist about it privately. It's a customized online therapy over at BetterHelp. You get video, phone, even live chat sessions. You don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy. You can start communicating with your therapist in just under 48 hours. So join the millions of people who are

seeing what therapy is really about. It's always a good time to invest in yourself because you are your greatest asset. Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash dose so get 10% off if you go to betterhelp.com slash dose. Billy, you have anybody else? Arcady Babchenko, a Russian journalist living in Ukraine who in 2018 faked his own assassination, which was then reported in the news and he used it. I think he was like a guy who Putin really didn't like and he used it to escape to Israel where he now resides. So he just did that. That was like a moment.

recent one. It was pretty wide spread in like, uh, Russia and Eastern Europe. It was like a huge deal. So all that type of stuff that's going on right now in Belarus and whatnot. He was sort of involved in everything. He was like, he was like there Anderson Cooper. Like he's a war correspondent. He got you got he takes exactly one sip of alcohol on New Year's Eve and goes viral. Actually like old Anderson Cooper like Anderson Cooper like in Iraq like with like the stuff on. He's, like, covered the Chechen Wars. Haraldo. Yeah. He's their Heraldo. Yeah. So.

That would be sick, though, if Geraldo faked his own death and then showed up on TV a week later and precisely nobody cared. I bet there are people listening who don't even know who that is anymore. Haraldo? I don't know who. Yeah, I don't think Geraldo, like, I don't think Haraldo gets, gets play like that anymore. Is he still on? Yeah, he's like a pundit now. Isn't he just like a talking head? He just shows up from time to time with the most. confusing takes

Oh, I know Gerald, okay Geraldo Heraldo was not see definitely definitely not Geraldo

oh I thought you said Geraldo Geraldo yeah I know I actually I've seen Norad

no he's kind of creepy looking he looks like a video he looks like he looks like Waluigi yes

Wario no Wario he's a little too skinny the warrior he's like in between his

Waluigi and Wario's long-lost triplet. Geraldo, yeah. All right. Before you get into the H-Man, PFT, let me float this one by you because I think you might, you're either going to like it or we're going to cut it from the show.

Hunter S. Thompson's still alive and he's just Drill. Yeah, I like that one. I like that one a lot. Although I feel like he would not, I don't know, drill is like a voice that's born out of the internet. If the internet had a baby, drill is like the perfect account

to come from it. I don't know if a quick question. Who is drill? You're not online enough. You don't know who drill is? No. I don't know who drill is, man. You've probably, you've probably seen his tweets on your timeline. If you drill with no context,

you would just scroll right past it. I think I've seen you like retweet. Okay. It's like, it's a Jack Nick. Jack Nichol's a best Twitter account. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen you retweet some of that stuff. Okay, I know what you're talking about. The weird Jack Nicholson, AVI.

Yeah, very zoomed-in, grainy Jack Nicholson, Avi. What did you say, AVI? Yeah, that's what Billy calls an avatar. All right, fair enough. Yeah. The only counterpoint to that, Coley, is I don't think that it's possible for Hunter S. Thompson to still be alive right now. Like his body, it's actually shocking that his body survived as long as it did. That's why he had like three stooges syndrome.

Like every disease was trying to get. through the door and couldn't like he was he I don't I mean he took his own life and then his ashes were shot out of a cannon by Johnny Depp like that doesn't seem like a real death either no it's true like that's what you talk about a way to go out you take your own life and then you're like by the way Johnny Depp's going to fire me out of a can my ashes out of a cannon like side show Bob that's that's great have you read his article that he put out right after 9-11 he was writing for ESPN the magazine or page two yeah and he wrote a column probably within a couple weeks of the attack.

And if you go back and you read it, it's like, wow, everyone kind of hated this when he wrote it, but it turns out that he was like 110% correct about everything that he said was going to happen. You mean to tell me people on ESPN didn't like the fact that he was bling about how terrible America was going to handle 9-11? Yeah. Yeah. I got to go back and try to find some Bill Simmons takes for right after 9-11, too.

See what he said about that. He had some real bad chance that he had ready to go. next time they hijack a plane we're all just going to yell uh go go back to afghanistan at him and then we're not scared we're not scared uh my person who might still hold on bro before we do the grand finale man let me get me sneak mine in oh yeah yeah yeah erie my bad yeah that's it's okay man you know i'm a forgettable guy uh two pop tupac sure cool i i should preface this with i think he did he's my my favorite artist of all time, I think he did, but I used to believe he wasn't. And so I

know all the conspiracies behind it. So there's a whole bunch of, like, reasons as to why people say, like, you know, he was in the streets. He was ducking this. He was ducking that. The main points that I found was, like, there was a lot of, like, clues he left in his music that was real morbid. Like, this was the most jarring one to me, right? So, This is called God Bless the Dead, right? And Avery, maybe you could clean this up, but I'll play it over the mic, right? Tupac died on September 13, 1996. Biggie died on March 9th, 1997, right?

So this was on a Tupac song. Like, listen to it, right? I think he said, rest in peace, the Biggie Smalls. That's weird. Never really got a real answer as to why that. He said that. I know what he was beefing, right? He had back and forth with him.

There's a whole bunch of other ones. Like, if you look on his intro album and Maca He had an album right after he died that he was marketing. If you listen closely on the very first intro, it says Shug shot me, right? He, um, throughout his entire, like, discography, there's always hints and shit about him getting shot. I think it has to do, you know, subsequently with, he was actually shot five times in New York and, and lived through that.

But, uh, the autopsy pictures of the, like, they seem to be. doctor the the car that he was shot in shug didn't get one shot in him and like the whole car was like shot up um uh there's just like various amounts of like little little things here and there uh but mostly his music was like real prophetic in the way he depicted his own death and how he was going to die so um uh there's like been picture service online about him chilling with riana yeah which is fucking hilarious dog like you try to be inconspicuous and you get with one of the most famous women in the world but uh yeah i don't i think he's dead but i can see why people it's like billy was talking about

um i think people want him to be alive so much that they uh they just you know they start to believe in these stories a crazy one was like he like i said he was working on an album and he changed his name to macaveli macaveli right and then there was rumored that the philosopher Niccolo Machiavelli, a Machiavelli, was either wrote about or talked about faking his death. That turned out not to be so true. I couldn't find any literature on it, couldn't find any things alluding to it. He was a philosopher that talked about

like the ethics of the state, stuff like that, but never, nothing like literally actually talking about him faking his death or somebody faking their death or anything like that. He was the, just like a whole bunch of, he was the, he was the ends justify the means guy, right? McAvelli? That was his whole thing. It's like no matter what steps you take to reach your goal, as long as you reached the goal, it was all worth it. Kind of. It was yes and no, he was more so like, um, uh, things are going to happen how they're happening, like more so. Like, um, like, um, like what was one of his famous quotes of like,

um, like you can't be politically, um, you can't be like a politician and moral. Like, you kind of have to like untie those two things. Like, And so it was like, so yes and no, like, but he believed in an, and a just, a just state. So it was like, weird, had a lot of conflicting ideas. He was, like, hated by the state. Like, he was like, he was, like, hated and loved. And, like, he was kind of, like, bouncing back and forward between that. But, like, he never wrote anything about faking to death.

That, that rumor just kind of sprawled up after Tupac. That seems like a big 90s rumor before everyone had the Internet. And, like, one person said that. And then every, it was just like, oh, yeah, that was. no one actually just read Machiavelli to find out. Yeah, yeah. I mean, like I said, I've been lying as I stayed here and read all of it. Like, you know, like I took philosophy in college, so I think I read some of this stuff.

But, like, even like researching into this, I couldn't find any quote attributed to that. I couldn't find any reading, any document, any, anything. And so, I mean, it could be out there if somebody has it. Let me know, but I couldn't find anything. I think it's, I think it's just, we just won't park to be alive. I won't park to be alive. That was my guy, man. So it goes to a ton of Celtics games.

still. Ain't no fuck away Paco be a Boston fan, bro. Listen, you're talking about a guy from, he was from Baltimore, grew up in New York, and then moved to L.A.? He'd be a Laker fan.

There's no way he'd be a Boston fan. He'll be a, he'll be a Knicks fan before a Boston fan. I don't know. He's kind of a fair weather fan like Big T. Like whoever's good, he just jumps on the band. No, you're right. Yeah, the Tennessee fan really loves winning. He'd be all.

Yeah, Falcons. Braves. Balchids, Braves. Every team that sucks. He'd be a Phoenix Sun fan right about now. I feel like we don't talk enough about the fact that Biggie named his album before he died, ready to die. Kind of weird, right?

A while before he died. Yeah, that was, that was 90, what, 94? Three? Yeah, okay, four, yeah, something like that. Yeah, he died 97, which is actually not that long, I think, three years. Yeah. But, I mean, I think that was like the hip, the hip, in the 90s was real morbid it was like everybody was I'm living the thug life and I'm fin to die that type

shit so I mean crime rate was really high in that in that era like so rightfully so there was telling the story of what was going on but yeah I mean Tupac being in Cuba like think about how many like people get out of Cuba like their waters like I heard stories about guys in Miami taking cigarette boats and just shooting to Cuba like for day trips i like read that on a forum on what was it 90 miles yeah it's like 90 miles but if your boat's going like 45 miles 60 yeah yeah 60 you're there an hour and a half like shooting over partying havana i mean that's i think that was another another one right so pop was in cuba his i believe it's his auntie um asada shakur who's a political prisoner

uh who got um uh who got levied the accusation about his killing under the jury Jersey cop, I believe, on some turnpike in a shootout. And she fled to Cuba. And so I think she, I don't know if she's still in Cuba or she's somewhere. But I think she was in Cuba before the whole embargo shit. And so they, like, they were, they were, they were harboring her. I think that if you, I was going to say, if you're Cuba and you get Tupac Shakur to come over, like, Fidel Castro that I know would not have been able to keep that silent. He would have held that out.

he would have been like on every newspaper like look we have your one of your most famous artists is choosing to live in cuba right now that would be like his his prize trophy but i don't know i don't think he is i think he'd be fired though but like it's it's actually pretty plausible to think that if you're i think it was his mother yeah who escaped to cuba like you're not gonna yeah is a auntie escaped to cuba like he could totally escape to cuba i mean wouldn't be that crazy Yeah, no, I mean, there's a lot of ifsans is what I would love for it to be the case, man. That's my favorite artist, but I would, I would hate to hear him on a trap beat.

I ain't going to laugh. It would be great. What would happen to you? That would not be great. If he, like, just came out tomorrow and he's like, hey, I'm still alive. It's me, Tupac. Would you be happy because he's still alive or would you be like, what the fuck, man? Absolutely, that would be ecstatic.

What? I would be ecstatic. He's also put out plenty of content since he died. so it's not like there's been a lacking. That's true. That was another thing because he had like fucking eight albums in the chamber, dog. So when he died, it was just like, wah, wow, wow, wow, wow. I feel like he had more features when he was dead than then he did.

Chappelle had a skit talking about like Tupac's prophetic, like things. And they would be like, obviously Chappelle was just like, Dave Chappelle, that ain't your wife. And he's just like dancing with some girl on the club. That's it was funny. That's a brilliant. get YouTube. It is. You would also feel pretty pissed off. What if you were Tupac and like you fake your own death and you start listening to all this? Like they've got you on a remix

with Biggie who you hated and Eminem. Like they're bearing the hatchet for you after like this dude allegedly tried to kill you. Like, hey man, like I don't get a say in this. Can they just take your voice like your estate can put you on a track with whoever they want after you're dead? I'm pro LGBTQ. Like I'm a mom now. I'm an ally. But I think It's wild that the Tupac State put it out, like, pro-LGB, like, Tupac merch. I just think that is wild, like, because, like, you have no idea his thoughts on that. Like, why take that sense? I have no idea.

I can't wait to see what issues of the day they're going to slap macro dosing labels on, like, 50 years from now. You're going to be pro-China, Big T. Yeah. No, thank you. It's got a macadocusing and Mandarin. I'll let LeBron carry that manel. Are you going to be on the right side of history here, Big T? There's no such thing as the right side of history.

Okay. I like that. Oh, no, I like that. That's not a Ben Shapiro wrote a book called The Right Side of History. He believes that one. And previously wrote a tweet that it was a stupid saying. That said, yeah, that nobody should ever say that. It's a dumb thing to say, yeah.

Yeah, I truly don't really understand what it means. I think it's just something cool that you can say to somebody if you're like, hey, I'm right, you're wrong. Yeah, history will be the arbiter. That's a correct. There's a correct. There's a correct. I could take, you could take that stance on certain. History gets shit wrong all the time.

History is not a good judge whatsoever. Like 60%. But you can be on the correct side. Well, I guess relatively. Right. Because you can get into the philosophy of right or wrong. But relatively, you can be on the correct. side when it's not popular, which I think is what is referring to.

Sometimes I, like, use that you'll be on the wrong side of history on totally inconsequential things like with my friends. Chad Kelly will be the best quarterback in the NFL. You're out the right side of history. Yeah. All right. Then lastly, we got. It's a hot one.

We got Hitler. We got talk about Hitler because there are always new theories coming out about Hitler, not surviving. It's Dolf. It's young Dolph, is that what you call him? Yeah, it's Dolph. So, 1945, things are closing in on Hitler and Germany. You've got the Allies coming in from the East.

You've got the Russian Army, the Red Army coming in. Or excuse me, from the East, the Allies from the West. I love the way you're starting this. I love the way you're just. So it's 1945, it's closing in. Let me set the scene. Yeah, he knows that that Berlin is about to get totally overrun. He knows that he's going to lose the entire country.

he's going to lose the war and he's in his bunker he's holed up in his little little shitty cave with his fake wife and then like six people that are like everything's fine you're still right hitler you're still right all of his yes men were down there with him and um so he realizes that that things are closing pretty quickly so the story goes that he poisons his dog arian you love that and then he gives that's a great finally you and hit you and hitler T-I-D-I-O-Clock is right two times a day. The Venn diagram. Hitler's like, what, Aryan's coming over?

This is great. You open the door. So. Who's this? He told me H-Man was here. What? So he kills his dog. He allegedly shoots himself.

And then he gives Ava Braun a Sinai capsule as well. And he instructs his agents, his closest confidants to take him outside and burn his body so that they can't find his corpse. They can't desecrate his corpse or I don't know what he thought was going to happen. But he told them to burn it. And allegedly, that's what happened. And the Red Army found it. But things were so fucked up when they were like, you have two massive powers enclosing on Nazi Germany at the same time. You get the United States on one side.

You've got Russia on the other. And there's like a war to see who can get to Hitler. first because it's like at that point you can claim that you're the one that won the war if you're the person that kills hitler so they're they're racing in and uh there was actually like some communication going on so dwight eisenhower he hit up Stalin he just like he sent him a telegram and was like hey i know that there were some issues at the start of the war when you and hitler decided that you were going to divvy up Poland and your armies ended up getting into a fight so we don't want that to happen as both of our armies descend on germany

So he essentially made a plan, or he suggested a plan to Stalin. Stalin promptly said, okay, thank you for telling us what your plans are. Fucked out, we're going to get there first and we're going to take him out. So the Red Army got there first. They found his body. They closed off the city. And apparently it was just like a bag of mush that they found outside. They could not identify it.

They found a few different bones, but they were burned almost beyond all recognition at the time. and they ended up doing some tests on it, some DNA tests, which there have been some tests that say that it was actually his body. There have been some tests that came back inconclusive. I think all that's really left that they could test was like a portion of his jaw. So they could look up his dental records if they wanted to. But the reason why there's so many theories that it wasn't actually him, there are a couple reasons why. First of all, Stalin actually told Eisenhower that it wasn't Hitler, that they never found his body. At one point, Stalin told everybody that they never found his body.

There are a couple reasons why that could have been true. One was that Gregory Zhukov was the commander of the Russian army, and Stalin wanted to undermine him because everybody was paranoid in Russia at the time. So Stalin was looking at this massively popular military general and being like, this guy's going to take my job. I have to make him seem like he's not that great at his job. So I'm just going to tell people that he never found Hitler. Zyukov also kind of went along with that for a little bit and said we have found no corpse that could have been Hitler's he was probably I don't know

maybe trying to throw the United States off at the time too you never know and so yeah Zyukov wanted or excuse me Stalin wanted to discredit his rivals and when he later on said that we never found Hitler's body he could have also been trying to put blame on Spain because he was suggesting that Spain helped Hitler get away And it is actually true that there are a shitload of high-ranking Nazis that got away at the end of World War II. There's tons of them, actually. So Adolf Eichmann is the guy that he masterminded the final solution.

And he went into hiding in Austria right after the war. And then he had a monk, a Franciscan monk in Italy that got him an Argentinian visa and a fake red cross passport. And he shipped him down to Buenos Aires in Argentina, gave him an alias. And then he lived there. He got a job at a Mercedes-Benz automotive plant in Argentina. And then finally, Mossad agents caught him in 1960. They did a big sweep. Massad agents are always on the lookout for any of these old Nazis that are down in South America.

They found him in 1960, and they doped him up, and they got them dressed up as a flight attendant and brought him on a plane and snucked them out of the country and flew him back, I think, to Israel, where they ended up executing him. There was Joseph Mingel, who he was like the worst doctor, maybe in the history of the world. And so he got smuggled down to Argentina. And this dude also worked in a mechanical equipment shop. And he lived in Uruguay. And he lived in Buenos Aires.

And then when he found out that Eichmann got captured, he went underground. And he was just kind of chilled down there until 1970. when he drowned. So he was actually able to live out the rest of his life down there. There's another guy named Franz Stangel and he was extremely high up. I think he was called the White Death and he worked for Volkswagen in Brazil until he got arrested in 1967. So there are a lot of conspiracies. They actually had subs made like submarines designed to smuggle top ranking Nazis out of Germany at the end of the war. And so there was rumors that Hitler got onto one of the those. The fact that they never really found a full body intact makes people think that he might

have gotten out of there. But again, it all starts from the fact that there's no, we never saw the body really. And Russia wouldn't share it with anybody. They wouldn't share pictures except for like one or two. They kept it extremely secret. And then you add into the fact that a bunch of other Nazis escaped to South America. I actually don't think it's not impossible. I think it's unlikely, but it's not impossible. And there's just a ton of Germans that, like a big German population that lives down there. And honestly, like Hitler probably had, his most defining characteristic was the mustache, right? So if you just shave your head and you shave the mustache, I don't know, would you, would you recognize Hitler? I probably wouldn't. Also, back then,

I mean, how many people, like, I'm sure there were pictures of them in newspapers and shit, but how many people in Argentina knew what Hitler looked like anyway? Probably a lot of cartoons, a lot of the political cartoons. But again, that was just like a guy with black hair and a mustache. So like now, if you shaved a mustache and your head, like people would still probably. But back then, if you did that, yeah, probably you couldn't tell at all. Yeah, all the pictures were hella grainy, nothing really defined. Like, there's a lot of 1080 cameras out nowadays.

It's probably easier to identify. Like, you have Billy over here analyzing ear bone structures or cardinal it structures. Yeah. Apparently Stalin also told FDR's chief of staff that Hitler was still alive But he might have just Again, you can't really trust anything that Stalin's saying

Because he's just like trying to confuse the shit out of Americans This whole time because he's trying to figure out his next move at the time And Eisenhower was like the opposite of that Eisenhower was just like, hey, I'm going to be really honest with you Promise to be honest with me back And they didn't really play that game In Russia at the time I mean Eisenhower was trying to do like

He's trying to do the right thing, but he also, Eisenhower at the end of the war was like, you know, we don't really need to take Berlin. Like, we've already crushed the army. We don't need to capture the government or anything like that? We won. The USSR already did. They already did take Berlin. Yeah, yeah. So the USSR beat us there.

I think that's a lot of propaganda about that war. It's like the U.S. had more to do with overtaking Germany than we actually did, or the Nazis as we actually did. It was more USSR than it was us. Yeah, like the battle of Operation Barbarossa, like everything that happened in Stalingrad, that makes D-Day look like a walk in the park, the shit that went down there. Just some crazy stuff. Like, I think was it five or six times as many Soviets died? Dude, I think it was like one in a lot more. I think it was something like one in three or one in two's like Russian men died.

Yeah. Like it was something insane. They're crazy, too. They had an order that was called Not One Step Backwards. where if you took a step back in the Battle of Stalingrad, they would just shoot you. Your own people would shoot you. I would argue that our role in the Pacific and in taking down Italy

was a very huge push in the war, but Russia definitely gave like. No, I'm not saying that we had nothing. Right. We had no. Like, that's not what I'm saying. I just thinking like living in America, you would think, you know, Captain America waltzed in there and killed Hitler himself.

like this is not how it went down so um there there have been a lot of claims also real quick fam yeah to your point i'm in like the and how like a lot of the the high-ranking nazi officials like just dissipated and tried to i mean might have references on his podcast but there's a dope ass documentary called uh the devil next door on netflix really dope and talks about how a dude hid in i think it was like ohio or something as like some like mechanic and like until somebody recognized him that was in a concentration camp like it was it's a dope documentary you know where a lot of them went besides south america south africa so there's like that didn't surprise yeah and they participated in apartheid i like there was this um this guy hendrick wear ward their ward

who uh was a nationalist party leader in the 1930s and he was like he was a full-fledged nazi and he was just like uh you know johannes von stras von moulke was quoted saying we must establish European area in control in South Africa for the welfare of the Christian peoples of South Africa. It's like crazy. Because all these people, like, you know, there was thousands of thousands of people involved

in the whole regime. Like, where did they go after the war? And they just ran, like, they're everywhere. NASA. NASA. Which NASA. They got us to the moon. But one of the reasons why the Hitler is still alive

conspiracy theory was actually born in Germany. Basically, and this is where the findings that Hitler and Braun had died by suicide in Berlin were written a report in 1946 and published in a book next year regarding the... Wait, sorry.

Basically, so much of the German people wanted to believe that Hitler was still alive because remember, they worship this guy. They would greet each other by saying Heil Hitler, like, hello. And they wouldn't, like, they worshipped him. So the fact that, like, to them, he was, like, bigger than Michael Jackson. So this sort of idea is kind of based there.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, doesn't get crazy. Hitler was bigger than Michael Jackson. Four hit for those people. That's a hell of a debate. I don't think anyone's ever had before. Like, no, but they've, these, like, out. But the way that you're phrasing it isn't like, like, who's more recognized. You're doing like, who's now from ESPN.

I know when they did it. Actually, we might need, I need, like, I need, like, like collaborate to figure it. No, like a, what's it called? Consolidate. Consolidate. What I'm saying is that these fake death conspiracies always come around people who have huge followings. Yes. Agreed. That's what I'm trying to say.

Yeah. I'm sorry if I sound good. I wasn't saying that Hitler was better than Michael Jackson. He probably wasn't. There have been a lot of reports about seeing Hitler down in South America over the years. Like some seriously credible reports where the U.S. government has sent teams down there to investigate them. He's also been spotted in Amsterdam. He's been spotted in Charlottesville, Virginia, for some reason. But these are all like reports that we follow. Here it is. He's been spotted in Ireland. He's been spotted in Egypt where he had allegedly converted to Islam. That would be a plot twist. He had been spotted

it in a coffee house in Amsterdam. He's been spotted. What year? Because he'd be like a hundred and like 30 years old now. Yeah, he's dead now. I think we can put that one to bed. Like if the Reds didn't get him, then old age did. But he, uh, there were actually some like some more credible reports down in South America

where we actually sent people down there to investigate it. So the office of censorship intercepted a letter back in July of 1945. That's crazy that we actually. had just straight up an office called the office of censorship. I feel like that's usually what we do is we would name, that's probably the FCC now. We just name, we name the offices like the opposite of what they're supposed to do. So the federal communications, whatever they are, they're just in charge of censoring out. But they caught a letter claiming that he lived 450 miles from Buenos Aires and they sent a telegram to the American embassy.

asking for help falling up. And so we went and we checked out this alleged quarters that Hitler was living at where there was like an underground hideout. They had a stone wall surrounding the compound. They had crazy like code encrypted doors where you'd have to shine a flashlight. And eventually what they said was that they, it was inconclusive. Jay Gerhoover was the director of the FBI. And he said to date, there's no serious indication that Hitler's in Argentina after doing his due diligence on it. So, but it was, it was, um, the Jay, yeah, Jay or Hoover would not have sent a team down to South America if like he believed that that was a hundred percent Hitler's body that they found. So that to me, like, it could have happened. I don't think it's,

I don't think it's extremely likely, but it could have happened for sure. It's more likely than, and Princess Diana. I'll put it that way. That's what it sounds like. It sounds like a historical like one of the first catfishes. Like we make fun of that shit nowadays, but like they had to investigate it. There was no way to do it other than send people. The reason why Hitler wanted his body cremated and like destroyed so there was no body evidence was because what they did to Mussolini in Italy.

That's one big factor. Like and I think they like strung, hung him and his wife upside down and like, mutilated their bodies, like, terribly. I think they hung them from a bridge. Yeah, I think they, like, chopped stuff up, like, the genitals off. He didn't want that. And then there was one other thing that I was reading about,

about the disappearance of the body right after. I don't have it in front of me right now. But bottom line is it could happen. And I think you can do all sorts of conspiracy. I would like to get the conspiracy going that, like, maybe messy or Maradonna, Hitler's like grandson, both like the same. same size his um he had a nephew that fought for the americans um who like there's loki like i don't know if they're still around but there's like hitlers but they changed their name

living in long island really you got it you've got to change your name yeah i think they definitely changed their name but like that kind of sucks like for them yeah like i don't want to like do like dachson but like they were like one of his nephew's sons was like like living out in Long Island. I think I remember, I remember hearing about that. Yeah. Because he didn't have any kids of his own, but yeah. Well, they all got killed, right?

I don't think Hitler had any children. Pretty sure. I don't know enough about Hitler. I'm like 99% sure on that one. Well, I, so our condoms are 99%. A lot of babies born with that percentage, buddy. I thought he had like kids he gave that also he gave like the chocolate poison to.

his dog he poisoned his dog he did have oh did he it's a legend that he had a son he has alleged children oh but how do you how do you discount it if it's alleged yeah I guess I guess we'll never know I just remember watching one of those history channel documentaries on it and like the last moments in the bunker type thing I thought there's kids involved I mean so in all time great meme is that one scene in the bunker where you can make Hitler be like depressed about various things that happen in sports. You know the one that I'm talking about? But that was downfall.

When he's mad about his like, yeah, great meme. Yeah. Solid meme. All right. Well, that is people who are probably dead but could be alive at some point. We're officially, by the way, we're an anti-Hitler podcast. I'm officially proclaiming Hitler 100% dead. Yep.

Agreed. Yep. 100% dead. Just did the math. He'd be 132. Sue. So if he isn't dead, that'd be a feat. Do we have any good responses from the tweet that we put out? Let's take a look.

The dead people who are still alive. One person said my sex life. That was good. Epstein. Yeah, we need a whole new episode for that. Yeah, I think that should be a whole episode. We're not purposely avoiding it for people who are going to be. like, they didn't talk about Epstein. He wasn't Juice World.

Juice World's a good one. There's, like, a lot of lyrics in his music talking about, like, death and whatnot, like, faking his death. Hmm. He's, I think he's probably. Got a couple of Avril Levines here. I think that's a misunderstood prompt. Well, he touched on Averill Levine.

Yeah, but she's alive. She's just different Avril. Maybe they're two hours. The label replaced her. Yeah. Huh. All right. Well, we got anything else who want to touch on this week?

Oh, we have some great New July 4th merch in the Barstool store. It's actually sick. I'm trying to get one soon. It's coming. Get that shirt, Billy. It's a great shirt. It's red, white, and blue tie-dye. It's got frogs on it.

Amazing shirt. We got the stickers. We got the posters as well. The posters are really cool. They're like unreleased different color ways of our logo. There's like purple and Billy, show them that one. That one's sweet. Dude, if you're in college,

or just like these are sick posters to have. Or if you have a room. If you have like a room. It's great if you got a wall. Billy's really trying to limit the market. We got to, no, no, Big T's out there. We have a ton of wall having listeners out there. I know, I know for a fact.

You got a wall tossed that up. No, I said he only wanted people who were in college to get it. No, they're like awesome college dorm. Like, that's how, where I'd put them. They're good college dorm posters for sure. Yeah. Anything else we want to get into? Arean, you got anything, any other animals that you want to get off your chest that really piss you off?

I'm not a fan of really any animal, to be honest. I believe that we domesticate them egotistically. And Billy needs to drop this day with us in the gym shit because they weren't. Well, if you had to pick one animal to be stuck in a room with, like if an animal that would live with you, what would it be? why why why you just have to pick one um i don't i'll lizard so yeah something like i can i'm not gonna see him i'm not gonna see him well remember if you think you can kill a wolf it should just be a wolf and then you kill it and then it's your you're you're Good to go.

No, bro. I don't think I can kill a wolf. I know that there are wolves out there that I can probably get, given the situation, I'm in a life of death situation. It's with context. I'm not at her hunting wolves. I mean, if you ended up killing Lola, though, you know the internet would have a field day. It's like you'd be immediately guilty just based on your past.

You've been very much on the record about how you would kill a wolf. Couldn't con. I will murder that fucking dog in my house. Lola fakes your death. I'll treat her like Mussolini I'll string her up from my gazebo Lola Oh my god dude

Look at this look at this She fucking attacked my daughter My three-year-old daughter and you guys over here No, but you should do Lola fuck that bitch I don't care about that dog Just a big graphic I'm telling you right now If she attacks my dog again

I'm killing this dog Don't care Lola get out Please Get the fuck out of my house All right Her owner is my guy That's the only reason why she's living

underwear color too underwear color what's big t wearing oh shit oh it's hard this is white he's wearing white but that fit that's got to be white i've told you before i don't own white underwear you might have bought it this one hang on it's uh what that looks white navy is that gray that i see in there a little gray little gray there might be a gray waistband yeah it's a gray waistband okay navy okay Are you a boxer brief guy? I don't wear both. We're both. They've got a psycho.

You might have bodies. I mean, the full-time switch to boxer briefs like 10 years ago, never going back. Can't go back. I can't even imagine wearing boxers anymore, to be honest with you. Boxer briefs.

All right, just wear shorts that have them sewn in. All right, that does it from acrodosing today. Love you guys. Send us an email. Tell us that we're handsome. and give us suggestions on the pod. What's the email address that we're using now? It's macrodosing at barstallsports.com.

Got it. Macrodosing at barstall sports.com. We will be back next week. I think we might do a two-parter. So we'll give you some to split up between next week and then 4th of July week. I think the plan right now is that we are releasing an episode, but it's just going to be the second half of what we start next week. That's the plan for right now.

So there will be an episode next week and the week after. Tide you over. Give you something to listen to on your road. trips, wherever you're going for the fourth. But yeah, we will see you next week and let us know if there's anybody that we missed out on today, people that could have faked their deaths. Well, there's one person. I thought about going down this road. I decided not to. It's probably still too recent. But the dude, Aubrey McClendon, who is a CEO of Chesapeake Energy, he was being indicted for fraud back in 2016. He was also the co-owner of the Oklahoma City Thunder

and he moved the team from Seattle to Oklahoma City. He drove his SUV going like, 88 miles an hour into the side of an overpass, just like incinerated his body the day that he was being indicted for fraud. One of the richest people in the United States did this. He was also one of the dudes that's in the Fire Fest documentary. He gave, what's his name? What's the guy that ran the fire company? He's in jail. Oh, Billy McFarlane. Billy McFarland. Yeah, he was like one of that dude's early financiers and advisors. And he was also a fraud too. So Aubrey was indicted, billionaire body burn beyond all recognition and uh he he essentially had the oklahoma city police department in his pocket because he was the biggest philanthropist in town by a large large margin

so if anybody could fake their own death and get away with it would have been in i'm not saying that it was him i'm saying i need to do more homework on it but i'm just putting that out there i almost talked about him today but i didn't credit to me for not talking about him you're not reporting you're just saying what you've heard i'm saying i'm saying i I looked into it, but I am not ready to report on that as of this moment. But I'm looking, we've got people that are looking very strongly into it, Big T. Very strong. All right.

That does it for macrodosing. A1 journalism. Love you guys. See you next week. Thank you.