Macrodosing: Arian Foster and PFT Commenter - The Myth, Mystery and History Behind Crop Circles

Episode Date: June 1, 2023

On today’s episode the crew gets into the history of Crop Circles. Crop Circles are an area of standing crops that have been flattened in the form of a circle or more complex pattern. No general cause of crop circles has been identified although various natural and unorthodox explanations have been put forward; many of the circles are known to have been hoaxes. Plus we discuss the best football names, what is actually organic, UFO’s and finish out the episode with voicemails.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/macrodosing

Hey, macrodosing listeners. You can find us every Tuesday and Thursday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. He's a defensive back on North Texas, and his name is Moability. His name is Mobility. Come on, there's no way. Mobility. That's fucking insane.

All right, welcome back to macro dosing. Today's episode, as always, presented you by Three Chi. We love Three Chi. They're the presenting sponsor of macro dosing. Three Chi's incredible. Actually, I had some Three Chi the other night when I was watching the succession finale. It was fantastic, great experience, chilled on my couch, smoked some Three Chi. It was one of their vape cartridges, had a wonderful evening.

Three Cheese is great. And one of the best things about it is you can get high wherever you want, whenever you want. You don't have to be paranoid about smoking something, eating a gummy that you don't know what it is. Three Chi is made right here in the USA with U.S. chemists. It's the highest quality cannabis products. They've got Delta 9 edibles and their industry leading Delta 8 products and their new line of Delta 9-0 vapes and everything in between. They've got a racing tie-in as well if you're a fan of NASCAR. They've got a Kyle Cush disposable vape.

pays homage to NASCAR driver Kyle Busch. It's got a potent blend of Delta 8, HHC, THCP, and CBC. It's a disposable vape. It's designed to deliver an exhilarating vaping experience that you won't soon forget. You can crush some of their gummies. You can have some of the tinctures, the oil. You can make your own brownies out of it if you want to. Their gummies also taste awesome.

Best tasting gummies in the game. And best of all, macrodosing listeners get an excellent. exclusive 15% discount on all of 3C's premium THC products. Just go to 3C.com. Use promo code macro 15. Take 15% off your order. Big discount. Go to 3Chi.com promo code macro 15. Take 15% off your order.

Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please use it responsibly. All right, Bill, I need you to repeat what you just said. I'm starting to understand why John Morant flashes guns in all of his Instagram lives. Okay. that's a great way to start this episode. No, because what, what, how, how are you relating to John Moran in his current situation? No, because we were talking about locations and stuff like of that nature.

And I was thinking about when, uh, uh, we were on Instagram live on the macro dosing page the other night. And I was like, someone could just run up in here knowing where we are. And, you know, we be caught lacking. And I totally understand why John Morant would be flashing a gun to, show hey if you know where we are i i got it on me like i can defend myself and it just makes perfect sense in relation to you know other individuals who've been on instagram live and unfortunately gotten killed later but you think that you think that people are watching your instagram lives are like oh i know where billy is i'm going to go kill billy hey i don't know you

don't know what's out there yeah okay um i don't really I don't really know what us going live on Instagram has to do with John Morant but I guess you just protect yourself I understand the idea the concept of protecting yourself

it's a deterrent yeah maybe they're fake guns starts flashing Nerf guns yeah if people think that you have a gun that's almost more impactful than you have in your gun I'm gonna just stop saying getting caught lagging take that out of your lexicon please okay by who would who would catch one lacking uh the ops yes yeah um it's actually the exact same concept is nuclear warfare what billy's talking about

yeah it's yeah it's if they think that you have it then it's that's just as good as you having nuclear proliferation everyone has guns billy will never in his life pronounced that word correctly. I think I did a decent job. You said. Decent as in like how many words are there or how many letters that are in you see L-E-A-R? There's seven words.

You got six out of seven. You know, I was saying I was more talking about proliferation. Oh, yeah. You nailed that one. Yeah, just correct what credit is due. Yeah, the first word I'll never get. I almost said five when you said how many letters are in that. That was bad.

I don't know why five came to my mind. I definitely I don't have that skill either some people can do that you can just be like okay how many words are how many letters are in Atlanta seven that's what I do with my weird that's real quick though there's songs that spell Atlanta

that's what I do with my weird breaking down words and numbers yeah so let's check back in on that Matt Dog because if you haven't been listening to Macrodosing for what like over a year a long time Mad Dog has this really weird

strange thing where she looks at words and she looks at people and she starts doing math in her head. Can you explain that again real quick? Yeah. So a lot of people DM me after this and said that they do this too. But basically I look at words and then I break them down by sequence. So I look at macro dosing and I recognize it. And I just do this in my head to entertain myself. I recognize it has 11 letters. So then I break it down. So it's like I can break up. I like to break it down evenly. so I break up macro and then O-Sing so then I can break up the D and the D is a symmetrical letter

when it's uppercase so then I can split that in half so it's half of the D on one side half of the D on the other. I'll do something like that. Remember this? I vaguely remember you saying something. Okay so yeah like break down like give me like give me a word or a

but a D isn't vertically symmetrical it's only horizontally symmetrical. Yeah but so I'll break it down like that and then so those and so that's how I break it down evenly. So why? Why is the, why does a letter, what does the symmetry of a letter have to do with anything? Well, say it's like a G, like an uppercase G, I can't break that down symmetrically. So then that becomes a whole letter. So if the G wasn't in, if the G and the D switched, let's say, and the G was in the middle of macrodosing,

then I can't break it down evenly because the G can't split. So then that hurts, like it scratches my brain. So your goal is to have a word. with an odd number of letters in it. No, it's usually, I like even, I like even. But then there's no letter in the middle. No, but the letter in the middle is kind of a deterrent. Like, I like my name, made line, I can break it up.

I can break it up by twos too. And I can also break up my full name. So Madeline Conroy, I can break that up. So 8 and 6, so then I can move the E to the Conroy and then make it 7.7. Okay. So then when there is a word with an odd number of letters, you want the middle letter to be symmetrical. I would appreciate it, or if it was, uh, or if it was a factor of three, like if it was, what? If it was godfather, I can do G-O-D, F-A-T-H-E-R, and then I'm fine because

then it's three-three-three. Wait, so really quickly, so your dream word would be bad, but with lowercase B and D and uppercase A? No, I hate bad because bad's only three. I can't really split that, but I would split it. I would be B and then I would be B and then the A would split in half, but I don't like that. But uppercase A. Yeah, then I'm split in half. But bad, you could, you could, all three letters are symmetrical. But it's not the symmetry as much as it is, it's not the symmetry of the letter as much

as it is breaking it down in groups. So like, for Billy Football, okay, I hate Billy Football's name because, because it's not symmetrical. It's not symmetrical. And it's not symmetrical and it's 13. So 13 is a prime number, so I can't really break it down by you. anything. So then what I'll do if I have that is then I'll cheat

and I'll make the space a letter. So then it's 14 and then I can break it down. Okay. I love how you say cheating. Quick question about all this. Yeah. Because I imagine that people out there are wondering the same thing that I am. Why do you do this? I've been doing this since I was a little kid. I've

always broken them down in my brain just to like kind of entertain myself. And I also don't make eye contact a lot when I talk to people. And A lot of the times it's because I'm thinking about what you're saying and then breaking it down in my head. Okay. Do you get satisfaction when something's broken down?

You're like, okay, that's done. Like you've accomplished a task. Yeah, it like scratches a part of my brain that nothing else can. Or if I, or if I do a whole, oh, it's the best if I do someone says the whole sentence to me and I can break down the whole sentence and it works. Oh, my God. So like the. How much, how much of your day do you spend doing this inside your own head? This shit is exhausting.

Yeah, a lot of time. But, like, it's fun for me. Like, like, the, I'm trying to think. Like, I know. Oh, no, no, no. It's a total nerth thing. But, like, if there's a sentence, like, I love macro dosing. And someone says that to me, then I'll break down.

And it'll almost, like, light up in my brain of, like, you can do this. So then I can go, I love macro dosing. Okay, so that's 11 plus 5. So that's 16. So then I can break it down and do 10 and 6 because it's like, I love macro and then dosing. or my I love I can do four so I can do I L-O-V and then E-M-A-C-R-O-D-O-S-I-N-G and it like so you're going to have a lot of people trying to diagnose you with in your DM here so just don't listen to them no I know there's a lot of people in my dances as of late and I come it's fine but um yeah no I've done

this forever and when I brought this up on the show like I think it was like last March I texted my parents after and I was like um because this also has do like the eye contact thing like I'm not looking at either of you right now I'm talking about it and um I asked my parents if I got tested for autism and they said no what's your favorite word to break down just in this context yeah um like a word that you look at it you're like fuck that gets me going yeah honestly my name I really like to do and that's also because I hear it a lot um I also you hear your name a lot yeah so it's like I think I think about Yeah. Or just Madeline. Madeline's eight so I can do two and four. And I like shifting it like that. I also for some reason, I really like Burger King. I like breaking down Burger King because I would pass it a lot. Growing up, there was one on my street. So I pass it all the time and I would always do it in my head. So I like Burger King. And I also, I like anything where I can do the macrodosing where I can break it in half and then split the like symmetrical letter. But there's definitely a term for,

whatever it is that you're doing right now. And I don't know what it is. If anyone wants to let me know. But people say that they do this too. But I do it. And I also do with numbers. Numbers makes a little more sense. Like,

like explain how you would do it in numbers. So, um, I'll. I mean, numbers do literally break down. Break down like that. But if you, I'll do it with numbers like correlated to letters. So if you give,

if you were saying like nine or 12, whatever, then all in my brain be like, what's a letter? letter with nine or what's a word with nine or whatever and then I'll break down from there and then I'll just do it myself I do get the numbers things some numbers are bad and some numbers are good yeah it's like the sharp versus soft numbers or whatever I just mainly do it with words or sentences I saw a TikTok recently that was a guy that was like it was a bunch of random things

but there were two shapes one was like kind of wavy uh like a circle that was with waves in and another was very sharp angles and it said which of these is uh I forget the words he used. It's like Kiki and Bobo. Yeah, it was some nonsensical terms. And everybody in the group that he was asking said this one and this one. Yeah. Bobo is a good one.

Bobo is the soft one. Kiki's the sharp one. Yeah. It wasn't exactly that I know what you're talking about, but it was something very similar. Yeah. No, Kiki's sharp. Kiki is sharp. And Bobo is soft.

Yeah. Yo. But yeah. Yeah, I just like doing that in my free time. What Billy's describing right now, though, about how some numbers are good and some are bad, that's a central plot point in that show severance. Billy's living inside the computer in severance. Sure. That's their job.

They stare at a screen and they look for bad numbers and they take those bad numbers and they put it into a bin, but nobody knows what it does. So, Billy, what is, is seven a good number or an evil number? Evil number, evil number. Bad number because it's prime. It's a great number. It's good. It's good. 43.

Bad, bad, bad. 47. Bad. Look, I'm just going on gut instinct too. Is this just the even odd thing? No, all the prime numbers. No, I would consider eight a bad number.

I don't like eight. No, but you can do two and four with eight. Okay, wait, wait. Arian might be honest something, though. I think Billy just doesn't like odd numbers. No, no, prime numbers are really bad. Give me an even number that you like. An even number two.

four you mean odd number that he likes oh yeah you want an odd number five five's good five's good five and one are good 13 39's good bad 49 49's good embrace debate 49's okay because seven times seven that's why it's good because you can break it down and then seven and seven stack on top of each other because they're the same number you guys are so weird a little like her shoulders moved ever so slightly when you said that you could stack when she said she could stack the sevens on top of each other and it was like like she was physically satisfied by the thought of whatever that means yeah i think madeline is a computer no i'm not that smart i wish i was wild to me because it's like like y'all be walking around

your heads thinking about this wow i mean i'm not judging i'm just saying it's like this is a wild thing to walk around thinking about like throughout the day like yeah i know you know what you know what's crazy turns out some people think different now when I say this people are going to be like what the hell but some people don't have an internal monologue where they see words or hear a voice in their head talking some people just only see images it's weird like some people like I saw this like scale of people can visualize things to different degrees and some people can just like see a memory in their head like a picture And then some people can only sort of see an abstract conception of it. And it's really crazy to me.

Wait, hold on. You guys can't see memories? No, some people can't. But in some people don't have a voice in their head that just like is like talking to them. Is everybody's voice in their head? Is it your own voice? Or do some people hear their internal monologue in like Morgan Freeman's voice? It's so fired.

Mine's my voice. Yeah. Well, that would be that would be. schizophrenia, right? Well, I don't, I don't hear, that's a good point. But sometimes when I'm drifting off into Dreamland, I think I'm having conversations with people. Same. Yeah, that's different. Yeah, that's different. But then, but like, there's a bunch of characters that I know, but I don't know who they are. Yeah. That's, that's normal. I was thinking that was, I don't know, I'm scared. I'm going to go schizo sometimes. You know who I want to hear from Hank about this because I'm sure that Hank has. crazy internal monologue. I'm going to see if he's around. Because he has this thing where at the end of his day, he likes to imagine Joe Rogan is interviewing him

about how his day went. Oh, well, like, don't you guys pretend you're on talk shows all the time? No. If I'm home alone, like, constantly I'm talking to myself. Yeah. Or I'll pretend I'm on Jimmy Fallon, like all the time. Yep, like out loud, yeah.

Like, what do you say? Give me an example. I want to hear an example. I'll, like, pretend him on a podcast. something. Yeah. Like they're asking me questions. Or I'll pretend that macrodosing went like crazy big and this was my start and I'm on Jimmy Fallon now and I'm recounting all my memories here. So I used to sometimes talk to myself but now I just talk to my dog when I'm home. That's different. I don't have a dog. Right. Yeah. Wait, hold on. So I'll like you, so you like you sit

at the table and pretend that you're being interviewed. No, I usually do it in the mirror when I'm getting ready in the morning. Okay. Okay. Or the shower. Or like, I have like a funny story that I would tell. I like pretend they asked me about that story and then I just like talk it out loud. So let me let me get this. So you sit. So you're in a mirror doing hair or whatever, makeup, whatever. And you're saying to all that's funny that you ask because he walked up to me.

And is that what you do? It's not like verbatim like, oh, I'm on a talk show, but like, yeah, kind of. Yeah, pretty much. Mine's pretty verbatim. This might be a general. the thing because it's like when I was growing up shit I did it the other day so I just got a basketball who put it in my backyard like one of the ones with cement it's really dope all right and so like you know I was walking I was coming home from golf and I was walking at the ball was there you know I just

put up a couple shots and you know I hit the you know three two one you know it's kind of like that with females with podcast yeah in your backyard yeah very similar erin gets the ball dribble that's that's internal though i don't say it out loud okay i'm calling uh i'm calling hank because i want to know what hank has to say because because mackenzie hank does the same thing where he here it's like the best hey hank so fun what's up hey you're on macrodosing right now we're talking about internal monologues and we started discussing about how uh you like to sometimes pretend that you're being interviewed by joe rogan at the end of your day mackenzie actually does the same thing just with different people interviewing her and sounds like madeline does the same thing but i'm

curious to know what you're when you hear your own thoughts when you're having an internal monologue do you hear them in your own voice or do you hear them in somebody else's voice i hear them also it's not always joe roger i think that was the takeaway but it's usually just being interviewed it doesn't necessarily matter it never like specifically joe roger it's just like i'm on a talk show or like a late night show or something i hear them in my internal voice, if that makes sense? Like, you know, you think your voice sounds different when you hear your voice?

Yeah. So I hear it from my perspective. I don't hear... I don't like the way my voice sounds when I hear it, like, on a podcast or whatever. But I hear it through the way I hear myself, if that makes sense. Got it. Okay. And when you're doing these interviews,

are they always with people of note? Are they sometimes with just like a person that you've invented? Oh, definitely someone I've been. invented or like a relationship I've invented yeah so do they have names no I mean it varies it's never it's it's usually pretty random and just like just pops up are they even like even like you know you see a girl on the subway you fall in love with her and then the next night you're in a hypothetical dinner situation with them yeah yeah yeah okay uh you invented this person out to be

like the love of your life and you've never spoken a word to her okay you're talking about like your life tell him i said this is like the beginnings of like serial killer you uh this might be the beginnings of serial killer yeah i mean i don't you know it is it is what it is i don't i don't necessarily know why it happens i actually i don't think i don't think it's that unusual i think that you tell me arian doesn't like see like arian never just falls in love randomly like sees a beautiful woman is like falls in love. That's crazy.

That is crazy? Arrian says that he doesn't. But again, Arrian is also, he's had, and that's just a buy. Many conquests. It has passed.

All right. Thank you, Hank. This has been illuminating. I actually don't think that it's that weird. Yeah, no, it's definitely weird, but it is what it is. Yeah.

All right, well, all right, have a good day. You got big meetings today? Yeah, about the hopping one right now. All right, close that Leroy deal. all right yeah well that was hilarious all right see you bye

it's a little tease coming up Leroy might be making me some money or making Barsall some money even though he's been dead for two and a half years well grind never stops Does anyone think of like they're in a situation

and then they think about that situation again and what they should have done in that situation Oh all the time yeah but that's like that's self-awareness yeah that's that's very normal but you walking in the subway falling in love with a girl and then later having dinner with her that shit's wild that isn't that black mirror he'll say he'll say Aaron you never you're you don't fall in love with girls and you're not in my head bro that shit's that shit's wow but that's that's that's what I'm saying I'm not saying he's of this ilk but I'm saying it's like I've noticed like as you you know grow through life

Like, not everybody playing with the same deck of cars. I'm not saying Hank in general, but I'm saying, like, just think about what you think about on a daily basis, the wild shit that everybody else is thinking, like, you know, we're all experiencing an entirely different reality. And, like, we're trying to find some kind of, like, semblance of, like, meet me here. Yeah. I wonder if you could ever do that with, like, a therapist that you invent in your own brain. Oh.

Like, you have a conversation with a therapist, but then it all goes sideways because your imaginary therapist tells you all the worst things. do and all the, actually what would happen would be like, I guarantee people have tried to do that while imagining Dr. Melfi from the Sopranos at the end of their day. And like, what would it be like to talk to Dr. Melfi? And then they just end up falling in love with her. You know what's so insane? Like in dreams that happens, but like your subconscious is controlling the other person. Like there's like a total different being that's responding to you and you're having a conversation with, but your brain is just telling, like, that other person is, you don't know what they're

going to say, but then they say it. It's like, that's so weird to me. That in your dream. Yeah. Like, in your dream, your brain is tricking yourself. It's a eye. It wouldn't be AI. No, but the person that you're creating is that's, that's, that's, that's a chat bot. It's like on your brain. It's coming from an organic route. So artificial means like non-organic, right? But if somebody invented a chatbot, they programmed the entire chatbot. That's artificial intelligence, right? Even though it's been created by, it's been created out of somebody's own thoughts and actions. I think we've had this conversation a long, long time ago.

But I've always wondered that, right? Because I just, I concede that point all the time. But I have a take where it's like, there's really nothing that's not organic. There's nothing that isn't inorganic. When people are like organic, everything's organic. I think it may apply to just. carbon-based things. Let me look up this specific, but let me, I think that is the definition of organic.

Yeah. Well, yeah, I think from a chemistry standpoint, Billy's right. Let's see. Organic, this is Webster's noting or pertaining to a class of chemical compounds that formerly comprised only those existing and derived from plants or animals, but that now includes all of the compounds of carbon. I think it's only carbon-based beat. But this is characteristic of pertaining to

or derived from living organisms. So, okay, okay, is, so you're saying like if a beaver makes a dam, that's not organic? Oh, it is organic, but like, for example, metal is not organic. But it's derived from an organic creature.

And if metal by different, yes. Metal is not like, we make metal. Right, but it's not like a beaver dams made out of trees, which is all organic matter. like if a beaver could figure out how to synthesize steel that is organic then that would not be organic

organic also is like in a scientific standpoint there's a difference between the organic that we're talking about right now on organic in a grocery store which just means it's it's a good label that people put on things to make it more expensive because you think that it's better so i think our next big challenge in the future is going to be organic versus non organic beings that's going to be like the the new polarized stance like oh you're organist meaning like you're against non-organic beings and like speed like robot speciesist that's how like uh Elon Musk was saying the Google AAI guy talk to him about him like being pro human yeah it's it gets very complicated when you start talking about the at home robots that Elon is inventing have you seen those

it's like everybody's going to want one of these in their houses I don't are we really, is there a big demand to have robot butlers in our own houses? I mean, I wouldn't trust mine. I don't think I'm the market for it. Yeah, it's very strange.

We should just say macrodosing is an organic podcast. Yeah, yeah. Let's add that to the tagline. The world's first organic podcast. That means we get to charge more for ad reads too. Is LSD organic? Is Synthesize

from chemicals, psilocybin might be. Silocybin is absolutely. Organic is carbon-based. Is anything that's from a carbon-based? Fuck, but does that mean petroleum's organic? Fuck. This doesn't make any sense to me. I think, Billy, I think the raw materials might be.

So at some point you refine, I don't know, I'm not like an oil expert, but you have to refine. Petroleum is organic. That you get out of. out of the dinosaur bones. Yeah, petroleum is organic. This changes everything. Fuck. But metal is...

Oh, man. What about music? Is music organic? Well, music's not... It's a sound wave. It's a vibration. That's what I'm saying. If something is derived from an organic source,

you guys are saying that's not organic? Well, I mean, I don't think it's a chemical composition. Like, for example, if I, you know, make something out of metal, that's not, like, a car is made by organic beings, but it's not organic. Like, what's the most, what's the least organic thing you can think of? Computer. I'm trying to. So I think it has to be derived from organic. chemically substance

like derived isn't made up of carbon is in steel and so if we're saying carbon-based this is where I don't understand almost everything has carbonate is there something that doesn't have what doesn't have carbon in like pure iron

okay but iron is got to be it's the core of the earth you tell me iron isn't organic right but it's not organic chemistry is where it comes from. Technically, steel is made of iron and carbon. So this is what I'm saying? So when you guys are saying organic, I've never made, it never

made sense to me. Like, none of this ever made sense to me. Iron nearly always contains small amounts of carbon. Okay, so I, so alloys that contain carbon are considered inorganic. This includes steel and alloy of iron and carbon. And allotropes of carbon like graphite and diamond are not considered organic compounds because they're simply one elements not a compound of elements so it needs to be a compound not an alloy this is sophomore year chemistry's come back so single elements are not organic correct that that that that that that flies in the face of our colloquial use of organic water is also not organic see and now the the the term just doesn't mean anything anymore

Like I think like so it's like it's like theory right so theory in science is very different than how we use it in society theory and science is like of the highest form of knowledge that we have right if something is a theory like the theory of evolution the theory of gravity it's like the highest form of knowledge that we have it's like we're so sure about it that we almost say it is an absolute certainty but you know science always leaves room for for for error but it's like almost it's the highest form that we know but when we say theory as far as like humans you know like i got a theory while my cat keeps going outside in it like it's almost like a guess right but yeah and if it's in the exact opposition of how science uses theory like i'm getting i'm getting those vibes from organic right now but i didn't know i didn't know the scientific definition of organic i was never i've never been really been in the camera. I think it's definitely been hijacked by the whole, like...

The whole foods. Oh, yeah, the whole foods. But being natural and all that jazz. That's another thing. That's another thing. Natural was one for me too. Yeah, natural. This conversation is organic right now.

Yeah. But is it, though? Because in one sense of the word, if we had sat down and scripted this entire thing out, which that would have been a complete waste of time. Then that would be an inorganic conversation, but this is just organic conversation. I don't even know how we got here, to be honest with you. And like what is natural is so debatable?

Well, I think, see, that was always my take. I was kind of like organic and natural are kind of synonyms was in my head. But if we're talking about the scientific definition, then I can see how that parses with like the colloquial, use of it, the everyday use of organic, but natural is of nature. That's a, that was always, I always used the beaver definition for that. So they say, you know, like, anything that we make isn't natural. But I'm like, okay, if, if something in nature makes something, is that net, a dam is

natural. And they were like, yeah. And it doesn't, it doesn't make any sense to me. So I think like, if it's on earth, it's natural. So one concept is existing in or caused by nature, not made caused by humankind. And it's such an arbitrary line to draw. Like, why are we drawing our invention? So if an ape, sometimes they use sticks to get termites out of the ground. Like, that's a tool. That's not natural.

That's natural. I would say that too. But it's not human. But we're drawing this arbitrary line. I was like, everything else in nature is natural. But what we do is not natural. Like, it's the same shit. We know what?

Which is more advanced. I think it becomes the line. blur when animals start to use inorganic matter that's when it starts getting unnatural you lost me with the inorganic matter thing

from a chemistry standpoint because sticks are still organic material if a chimpanzee picks up a rock in oh like remember a 2001 space odyssey ape you should it'll blow your mind

ape picks up a rock kills other ape what are you talking like that wait I'm forgetting if how they kill a jaguar or an ape in the movie but they pick up a rock I think that's the beginning

of it not being natural and like humankind because they took inorganic matter and used it to hurt somebody like they use an unorganic tool so so if they a nomad back in the say hundreds of thousands of years ago no however long right 500 000 ago a nomadic creature

that is not yet all the way homo sapien and i'm probably fucking the the time frames up uh he builds a shelter to to shelter him from like a storm that's not organic i think if he's natural i think if he's using all like for example uh gorillas make a nest every night out of plant matter and, you know, birds construct nests. I think if, I think I guess if they're just using organic matter in building shelter, yeah. So the manipulation, so what we're drawing the line is, the manipulation of matter is what we're considering not natural. I think inorganic, manipulation of inorganic matter. So like a stone hut, I think is not natural.

but a but like a nest or a shelter built of sticks and logs is technically natural that's this is just my arbitrary thought on it it never made sense to me

yeah it was always like very fuzzy and arbitrary PFT what you're reading over there man are you studying I'm reading up on on organic chemistry and I'm reading all these words that just take me back to 10th grade and still not understanding any of it.

It's fucked up that they make you study chemistry in high school. Our brains are not ready for that shit. I liked it because it was like math. That's a hot take. When do you ever use chemistry? I'm a chemist. When you're trying to light different fires and different colors. So arsonists.

Yeah, but like I'm pretty sure baking soda burns green. Cooking is cooking is chemistry. You use chemistry every day. Yeah. But I don't sit down and think, like, what's the atomic number of this piece of chicken? Well, in order to have a piece of chicken that tastes amazing with rosemary and all these different seasonings, somebody had to understand the chemical compositions in order to make that happen. I think people just sit down.

They're like, this tastes good. I'm going to keep doing this. But there's still a science behind it because you don't. Yeah, there's a science behind everything that you do. I mean, chicken with acidic, like, lemon or vinegar on it is more tender. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I was watching this master class for like three months last year, I was like obsessed with watching dudes cooked brisket, like obsessed.

I subscribed to all these YouTube channels and I would just watch dudes cook brisket all day. And there was this dude talking how he was like, in his chemistry, he was saying how different woods, like the different wood you use to stoke your fire. interacts with the meat in different ways and changes the chemical composition of the meat makes it tendon or juicy, whatever the case may be. And so, like, they have different woods that change the flavor and the texture of the meat.

I was, like, fascinated, but I had no fucking idea. I have a question about those videos, too, because I like those, I like the ones that show the entire process, and then you always have to watch until the end when they slice into it, and then they take it, and they squeeze it, and you see the fat render out a little bit. Oh, my God. It's sexual, isn't it?

It's like... That was food porn. Yeah. I'm always wondering why in those videos do the barbecue guys always have black plastic gloves? Right. No one ever uses like a white latex glove. It's always these black gloves that they put on to cut the meat. It looks way fucking cooler.

Those black gloves are like... They're just... So my barber uses them too. My barber uses black latex gloves. And it just... For whatever reason, aesthetics of black gloves over like nobody uses the blue ones right blue ones is surgical yeah it gives hospital vibes right yeah if i see somebody taking i if my barber pulled out

blue plastic gloves and put those on i'm thinking he's going to stick a finger in my ass what's not the first thing i would think of that's what i think when i see those you said surgical yeah it looks like a hospital thing it's like this guy's about to go in some hole what about that blink they also like they draw like blood with those blue gloves on but you went straight the finger in the booty. I'm with you, but I just, that was my first time.

Yeah, the Blink 182. Is that a blue glove? Yep. Yeah. Janine. Shout out Janine, a legend.

What about yellow gloves? What do you think? When you see yellow gloves? Dishes. Dishes. Yeah. Gardening's not latex gloves,

but when you say yellow gloves, I think yellow gardening gloves. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I get that. Do they make yellow latex? Yeah. No, no.

It's more rubber. The rubber ones. I know what you're talking about. The ones that have that little like herringbone pattern or whatever on them. I think, yeah, I think doing something with dishes for white. What do you think with white ones? Chemistry experiments, science class. I think like maybe nurse practitioner.

Maybe the first person that, the person that comes out of the doctor's office just to take your temperature and then leaves. White, yeah, white and blue gloves are kind of the same in my head. Yeah. Like when I see them, I get the same. feel but i also do understand the the science class it's like white for me white is somebody's going to take your blood pressure blue that fingers going up your butthole uh yellow we're going to do some we're working in industrial strength dishwasher the one that you close down with a big top on it and then black that person's cutting in some succulent brisket that's what that's wow

It's like belts and karate Let me see Are there differences between all these There might be I feel like the black ones Might be heat resistant To a certain level Good point Billy

But that might just be me Thinking that Sounds like it would be the opposite Yeah because of the sun Black takes more So warps heat Yeah All right well that's

That's talking chemistry On macrodosing the world's first organic podcast. How was everybody's Memorial Day weekend? It's been a while. We didn't have a show come out on Tuesday because we're out of the office. Real quick. Real quick.

From yourglovesource.com. Okay. Interestingly enough, the color of the glove does not in any way affect the quality of protection or strength offered by, I'm going to fuck this up. Nitrile gloves. Neat trial, night trial gloves. Traditionally, nitrile gloves come in blue. hue in order to differentiate them as non-latex glove

for people with latex allergies. Oh. I forgot about latex. This is fascinating. Sneaky wearing nitriled gloves underneath your lacrosse gloves is a great way if it's like super cold

to keep your hands warm. Yeah, because when you take those off, your hands are always sweaty. Yeah. Yeah, we did that with Like in Cold Weather Games In Cold Weather Games that we would put I mean it didn't help crazy good But I mean maybe

Maybe half a degree or two Did you ever do the thing where you put like Petroleum Jelly on your arms Rub yourself down No I had to carry a ball Defense would do it Because they'd slip through Blocks because no one could get a hand on them

Holding yeah that makes sense Yeah I never saw anybody put What we used to do tricks to the trade area i'm sure that you learned some stuff along the way or saw some stuff in locker rooms where guys either they they believed that it helped and that was enough for them to do it or just various things that they used to get an edge the biggest thing i saw was like supplements everybody had like some crazy fucking cocktail

of supplements that they would take or some powder that they would use or some it was always something all this for all this shit i didn't need nothing What about when you decide how to tape up your hands or your arms or whatever when guys put those like little sweat bands over their biceps? Is there any any science behind that or is it just because

it looks sweet? That was all aesthetics. That was all You look good, you feel good, you play good that's what that was. I remember we was in high school was when it started when I first saw it like take off when we were in high school and you see dudes 20 minutes in the mirror

before the game making sure everything looks sweet making sure the towel hanging off on the side with the correct length and all that stuff. That shit, that shit carried through so I was in the pros. And I know they now are allowed to like wear their pants above their knee. Like, we couldn't do that. Like they kept finding this for it. We wanted to do it. We tried to do it.

But they kept finding this sport. But like now they'd be looking sweet out there. I ain't going to lie. And so we walked so they could run. But yeah, we was looking. That was a thing. You see in the NFL locker, it was never Lyman though. Limeon didn't give a shit.

Most linemen anyway. Most linemen just whatever out there, just raw dogging, no gloves, no whatever. But all the skill position players, nah, you're in the mirror, you're making sure that shit tight, you got to crinkle. And it's because another thing that probably the average person don't know is maybe you do. I don't know. But there's double-sided tape on the shoulder pads. So they put this double-sided tape on the shoulder pads. So when they put the jersey over, like, it sticks on.

So, like, that jersey is, like, stuck on the shoulder pads. and so like sometimes you would have like a little crinkle like that and so you like you had an equipment manager like straightened you out and I mean like it was very important I had to feel symmetrical yeah with the left with the left with the left with the left towel hanging on the side my uh maybe my most embarrassing part of my high school career came I think it was my junior year and I wasn't playing much I was like fifth string wide receiver and we were on the sidelines our offense was on the field and our center was a good friend of mine to this day uh he he got sent off the field because the refs saw that he wasn't wearing a butt pad.

And if you're a sinner, the butt pad can get in the way sometimes. So he tried to just not ever wear that tiny little, maybe like two, three inches wide, maybe like five inches long. You guys know what I'm talking about? The tailbone pad. I never wore one ever. Yeah. So he tried to get away with not wearing that.

And he got caught in the game, got sent to the sideline. He didn't have his tailbone pad. And the equipment manager didn't have an extra. And then he started looking around on the sidelines. and my coach came up to me, my receivers coach, the same guy that pulled his nuts sack out one time. That was hilarious, though. He came up to me and he was like,

I need you to give him your pad, basically saying like, you're not getting in this game. You're the last person who needs a full set of pads. So I had to take my pants, my belt off on the sideline, unroll my pants. I had like the offensive line,

not the starters, but the rest stand around me to block me. So I had to like roll the back of my pants down, take my butt pat out and give it to him. he could get back to the game and play at that point i think that's when i officially realized maybe i don't have a career as professional football player that's fucked up man yeah it's emasculating but i was the first guy to put my fours up in the fourth quarter that was me always always the first one up hey you should be you should be you should be kissing our asses arian

us us guys that don't play that set the tone for the fourth quarter by getting those fours up gave you the drive and determination to go out there and play with full energy at the end of the game and closed it out strong. You guys did it, man. You guys amped us the fuck up. You were the guy. Yeah, they're the guys that had all the starters. Were you the guy that after every touchdown, like you was hitting the guy's shoulder

pads, like good job when they was coming off the field. That was you? Sometimes. I didn't want to make it all about me, you know? I was a team guy. Look, pal, it's easy to play football when you're the star player and everybody loves you and it's fun. It's not, it's not easy to play football when you're going to practice.

day and then you don't play and you just stay in there that sucks tell me about the struggle man i'm listening yeah i your football was a great time for you that's facts let me let me you know you know what you're absolutely right i don't know that side i don't know that side of it's not as fun i can assure you i know both sides and it's way better being a starter yeah yeah it is there was another time i i broke my finger i fucked it up making a tackle on special teams no big deal got the guy down by punt return. I think I'd tag him for two-yard gain. It was sick.

My hand got stuck in his shoulder pads, bit my finger back. I knew that my finger was fucked up at the end of the game. I still finished the game out because I'm a warrior. But then the next week at practice, my right middle finger is just throbbing. It's like some of the worst pain that I've ever felt. And we were trying to get our backup quarterback some reps

because there was a chance that he might have to start because our starter was going to get pulled up to varsity. So I told my coach, I was like, hey, I can't, I can't catch them my right hand. Something's really messed up with it. He's like, yeah, but we need to get this guy rep, so I need to go out there. Just you run a bunch of routes for him for the next 30 minutes and we're going to throw balls to you. And so the backup quarterback is throwing balls to me.

Every single one that hit my hands hurt like a motherfucker. And then our backup quarterback was like, okay, I'm done for the day. Then our coach was like, no, you need to stay out there and catch more balls because because now we need to work on coverages in the secondary. So then he went out there and he started throwing nothing but high passes to me because he knew that my hand was fucked up. And I was just trying to catch it with my body. He's like,

that's not how you'd catch a pass. So he's throwing high balls to me for another like 30 minutes just right into my hands. And I'm like, this really, really hurts. And I went to the doctor the next day. And my joint had completely sheared off from my finger. And I had to get pins put in it just because my coach was like basically using me as cannon fodder like this guy doesn't matter if we need if we need his body's probably always already broken so let's just make him hurt worse because it might make our defense marginally better

at some point in the future damn you was a yeah camp body football sucked if you weren't good at football yeah or you just benched for no reason tell them bill yeah no reason Todd, give sound off on your coaches, bro. Go ahead. No, I, it's in the past. I, I, I, I sat on the bench so these NIL TikTokers could run. Could start. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Like, but good for them. Every now and again, if you're Caleb Williams, it might be nice to toss a shout out to Billy football for all the hard work that he did. Or more, you know, I see some kids who, like, have TikTok followings on, like, either teams, played for or other teams in the conference and like that shit just didn't fly back in 2017 and like thought it was a distraction oh you're you know barstool kid now everyone's a barstall athlete and like it i mean they didn't understand it so i don't i don't blame them for it but it's sort of man vibes say again you grumpy old man vibes no no but like that's grumpy old man

vibes kind of got me sad i understand why nowadays but you know bill you ever think about how much money would have made if you had played in the nil era no no not i i don't really care about that it's more like i kind of got robbed of uh a fair shake because of the whole he's saying he was ahead of his time is what he's saying that was ahead of my time he's also low-key blaming me and big cat i mean i literally no no it's it's it's okay it's in the past it's in the past it's in the past It looks like it's currently heavy on your heart, man. No, man. I just did, no.

I don't want to think about it. Let's move on. I don't want to think. Billy just triggered himself. Yeah, he did. And now he won't talk about it. Full circle. Talked himself into like therapeutic help.

Got mad at himself. Billy, I'm sorry. Thank you. It's not your fault, man. I'm sorry, Billy. Would you? Was a UFO meeting. Stop, stop, stop.

Would you rather have played more in college football or have your job now? That's how I've sort of reconciled it. But like back when I was like I was trying to start so badly, but I was just written off was like the worst like broke me. I need a straight answer to that question. I'm over like I'm over it now. But there was a time where I was just like spiritually broken. Yeah. You know that that's not.

I want you to know something, Billy. I want you to know something. It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. We didn't do anything wrong. No one did anything wrong. Your coach just had his own issues that he was dealing with. And that's unfortunate.

No, no, that's not at all. He just, he just didn't. I love everyone who coached me. I don't have any problems with any of the coaches. It didn't me. I don't. Yeah. I mean, like, the thing is if I was, you know, if I, like,

if I knew what they knew and experienced and had, like, pressure, I don't know. It's just, it's no one's fault. I don't blame anybody. What do you think would be worse? Being the worst player on a great team, but you have to go out there and just get your shit rocked on scout team, week in, week out, never get in a game,

never even sniff the playing field, or to be a great player on a terrible, terrible team. Ari, what are your thoughts? A great player. Every time. Yeah, well, what about, I mean, DeAndre Hopkins is kind of going, he's been through it a couple times, right?

Yeah, but who wants to be shit? Who wants to be, who wants to show up and not be good at what you do? That's weird. You get good memories, though, if you win a Super Bowl. You get paid more. That's very true.

Do you feel, are you happy for Newk? What happened? He got released from the Cardinals. I mean, I don't know. Like, I mean, I haven't talked. That's my dude. but I haven't talked to him about business in a long time. So I don't know what he's feeling.

I don't know. So if he's happy, he's probably happy about it, yeah, but. Yeah, he was going to go into next year with, who's going to be the starting quarterback on the Cardinals next year? Because Kyle's not going to be ready for week one. What is he, what is his injury? He tore his ACL last year. Is it, it's not Colt McCoy, is it? He still plays?

He played last year. He might be retired. Man, backup quarterback, the sweetest job in the world, though. Yeah, but Colt McCoy is the backup quarterback that you know if he's on your team, he's going to start two games every year. He actually has to do work. Not really. Kick it.

Yeah, it's going to be Cole McCoy, I think. I think he's going to start the season. Wow. I see David Blow listed on their roster. And Jeff Driscoll. Yeah, it's going to be cold. Cole McCoy will win you one game every October. But you can't have him start, like, four games because then he's going to go one and three.

But he'll get you that one if he only has to play one. Colt McCoy. That's wild to look at a little human baby and be like, I'm going to name him Colt. It was named him Colt. Oh, okay. Well, I'm glad they didn't do that. Colt's pretty sure they named him Colt McCoy because they said, we're going to call you Colt, because then you're just going to have to be the starting quarterback at Texas.

Is his name not Colt McCoy because that's a badass name? It's Daniel Colt McCoy, I think. His middle name's Colt. Yeah. That's fine. Cole McCoy is a good name. That's great name. I might make my son's middle name if I have a son, Colt, because it's a good, with my real last name, it's a good alliteration.

Yeah. What is your last name? I'll tell you later. Football. Yeah. Colt football would be sick. Do you think people are going to plot on you? Like, if they have a...

People know your name. People. It's Carter, isn't it? Yeah. Just thought of it. Like, bro, nobody's, you know, when you know what you was weird when people.

Nobody can't. Nobody can come to a New York spot and do nothing, fam. No, but people. It's a friendly environment. There's the thing is there's a, the majority of people are great. Perfect.

But there's like this small percentage that like find pictures of me when I was younger, uh, like, and it's weird. It's weird. It's weird. Those people already know your name.

You don't have to hear about that. I guess what I'm saying. Those are not, they're too, they're gone. They know your name. I'm going to go through some skill or some, some offensive positions on a football field. And if you were to name your child in order to optimize their ability to get that job as their career,

tell me the names that we're thinking of here. Okay. Hold on. Before we do, because I've spent many a day thinking about names in general. because names are certain names just flow so in order for me to have to give you the first name

I need you're going to have to give me a last name because it's got a flow some names just flow the best name in football ever in my opinion is Lynn Swan that motherfucker fucking name is sweet I need a last name

that sounds like I always hated my name foster's the wacky shit in the world is so stupid dumb name I always hated my name and so like I never had like a cool name There are some dope-ass names, but I need a last name. Give me a last name. I mean, one of the best names, Barcavius Mingo for an outside linebacker is.

That's pretty dope. That's awesome. That's good. What about a quarterback? Colt is probably the best name for a quarterback, right? Or Matt. Matt. No.

A ton of mats out there. We don't see it. What's the skill set? Give me a skill set. Well, Gunslinger Colt is the best. Oh, the quarterback that we're naming his. Okay. Pocket passer. Okay.

Six-three. 225. Uh-huh. Right-handed. It takes a little bit too many chances, but he also throws a lot of touchdowns. Okay. Gunslinger. I like it. I mean, Colt. It's the closest thing to a gun. I mean, that's why I think it's so good for Colt McCoy.

Okay. I'm not hating that right there. Yeah. But what's some other, maybe. Colesnikov Bolt Robinson I think would be a hell of a pocket passer Oh, I got you at you Mark Kissinger Oh

Mark Kissinger I like that Yeah Mark Kissinger, perennial pro bowler Oh yeah Probably never wins a Super Bowl But he gets to the playoffs almost every year Do you remember them old like Madden games

Where you can like create a player And you would make up a name Bro I did this shit all the time Oh, I got a good one Brock Armstrong That's a gun He's not a gun slinger He's just got a big ass arm

No I like I like Armstrong Yeah I like that I like that What about a running back Oh Square shoulder pads More of a downhill guy

Bruiser 2 let's say 230 Okay Brutus Doesn't have breakaways Nah I think I like deuce No Brutus Hammer

I think you made a fullback Yeah for sure This guy Well I thought we were talking about a north-south back Brutus Hammer 4-5-4-6 guy

Yeah yeah about that I was thinking Duce O'Neil I like I like that one I like Duce He doesn't sound fast enough He's 4-6

Yeah but The name isn't fast enough I disagree Duce O'Neil is he's like a i'm thinking of like he's not fast yeah he's so that it's quick he's not fast i'm thinking of like a tj ducate all all the o'neals i know are like red-faced and that's that's that's my you're racist against irish people that's well no no no that's that's just i i know too many of them yeah you're racist and i am one or prejudice we'll say prejudice okay here aaron i want you take

this one. Five foot 10, 170 pounds, runs a 4-3-1 wide receiver. Ooh. He used to return kickoffs in college, but now he's too valuable so they don't let him do that anymore. Okay. God, you know, the issue with this is I'm having, like, so many, like, flashbacks of dudes that were that.

Yeah. Like, the first one that came to my head, do you remember Rocket Ishma? Oh, yeah. bruh that's what i was a fire one um let's see oh i got it kwan kwan kwan zhella uh fucking stereotypical kwan ellis oh oh and okay he's a white guy though erin oh fuck so you're you're actually racist for thinking i was talking about a black guy no i was playing the odds there

I have my number um this white dude for what four what for let's say four three

no no okay I'm gonna go I'm gonna go um uh his dad probably got him around

brothers when he was real young so he got a little swag to him he's got a nickname he's got a nickname yeah he definitely gave him a nickname um

so I'm go um um his name is Mike but they ended up calling him Mickey right everybody called him Mickey so we're gonna go uh uh Mickey Mickey Mickey steps yeah yeah no it's a great name S T-E P-P-E-S yeah there might be a little too much flavor on Mickey to satisfy Bill Belichick yeah I don't think they would for he's definitely

going to the Raiders Mickey Steps Dude, I would draft Mickey Steps so high in fantasy football The thing is On name alone Swift is a last name I know there's one very recently But Swift I feel like would be a great last name

For any of the speedy backs Like a That's a good for his name Jeremiah Like a jacked swift Wait, hold on Isn't there a swift that plays for the lions Yeah, Andrew Swift

Jack Swift sounds like a guy from like 1942 My home boy I grew up with To this day I have not seen anybody With more bunnies than him He had bounce He could jump

I'm talking about Dude could touch like You know the top square Of the basketball He could put his hand on that He had ups His name His name was Terrence sweet

That was his name That's incredible My dog is Terrence James So it's Terrence James So it's Terrence James So we call him TJ Terrence Sweet. He had the coldest

fucking name I ever, Don't Terrence Sweet. His real last name was Sweet. That's crazy. I thought of another one. You remember the wide receiver

for Texas? Lima Swede. Oh, yeah. Liar name. I thought that dude was going to be awesome in the pros. Yeah,

he didn't pan out. Didn't really. I've always been upset that T. Higgins is a big wide receiver on the Bengals. He's probably, I don't know how much it weighs,

but I think he's like six, probably 215, 220, something like that. That to me, that's a wasted name on a guy that could be a 5'10, 190-pound slot guy. That's just the quickest dude that you've ever seen in and out of breaks. T. Higgins would be such an awesome, small, fast guy name. Yeah, it sounds like it. We're forgetting one.

The best name of all time, and it's because of him, but it turned into an actual football verb is Moss Randy Randy Moss He was so far His name was the verb Yeah Yeah

Best Defensive lineman name Of all time Frosty Rucker That's kind of Is that a real name? Also I mean

And Domic and Sue's pretty sick too That's wow Yeah Domic and Sue Um Warren Sapp You know he's a fucking punk Warren Sap

Vince Will Fork Yeah Will Fork is like Will stuff holes Will Fork John Abraham I always liked

That's a good one That sounds like I don't like that one Really? He was a beast I'm not saying He wasn't good at football I was someone name

No I like the name though That's a good defensive end That Abraham John Abraham you just see stout like that guy's Abraham's biblically stout yes John Abraham is going to be stacked First Testament stacked

Who's that famous fucking lumberjack Oh Paul Bunyan Bunyan I think of Paul Bunyan when I hear John Abraham That's what I think of That's that's good Yeah that means you're Yeah

Dick Butkiss Yeah we don't talk enough about the fact That the dude's name was Dick Butkiss That's why it's so mean Yeah. That's why you're so neat. Yeah. Levar Arrington.

Mm-hmm. Lovar Arrington is a fire name. This is a great game. It's funny because when you read the list of Houston Texans quarterbacks, they do sound like they were all generated using this artificial intelligence that we're doing right now to come up with backup quarterback names like Sage Rosenfels, Brock Osweiler, T.J. Yates, Case Keenham. T.J. Yates, good quarterback name.

Yeah, great quarterback. Brandon Whedon. Brandon Whedon. I forgot about those. First round pick. By my Browns. And I believe 28 years old. Yep. Yep. First rounder.

That's wild. Okay. Big T. Give me the name of a left guard. Like real fat guy. Super fat. big ass um i was looking so every year i do a a blog on national signing day of the best names so as we were discussing this i went and looked at it um there were two this year there was an offensive lineman at virginia tech name hans hammer that's a great offensive lineman

uh and there was another one named brock nutson at nebraska that's that's a big old boy Brock Nudson, there's no chance Brock Nutson was going to be less than 6.3-280. Brock Nudson definitely drives a riding lawnmower around campus instead of a golf cart. I don't know there's as many people named Brock. Wow. Yeah.

Once you get to the planes past Chicago. The whites love Brock. It's a fact. If you look at North Dakota State University, they're the bison right they're the ones that are always in the in the uh one double a or fcs national championship everybody on that team has the same general aesthetic look and they're all like various iterations of big tea like they all have red facial hair they all have close cropped haircut that's like definitely has a tint of red to it a couple freckles here and there they're just all

big t what what nationality are you if you go back and trace your lineage he's from georgia Yeah, American. Yeah, they're all American. I think a long time ago, some of my dad's family was from Germany, like a long, long, long time ago. Probably like the northern part of Germany, close to Denmark, maybe. I don't, is that, is this, is this a geopolitical joke? No, no, no, I don't know. Because the guys in North Dakota State, they all look a little bit like a mix between German and Scandinavian.

It's Vikings spread the red hair. across Europe. That's commonly known. You know what another great name is? I was doing some research because on the Barstall Bowl this year, I tried to put together a team of the best names. Me and Brandon went through all the names in college football and came up with the best ones.

We found a guy that I had never heard of before. He's not listed on any other name list or he has no notoriety yet, but I hope he's going to be great. His defensive back on North Texas, and his name is Mo. Mobility. His name is mobility.

Come on, there's no way. Look him up. That dude's going to be a star. We put up a list of our best names on the Barclay Instagram account. I think Kevin Durant was like Mobility, the greatest name I've ever heard. I hope, I think it might be M-O-H-B-I-L-I-T-Y. Correct. M-O-H-B-I-L-T-Y.

Mobility. That's fucking insane. There's shit funny No, Maddie and Mac Yep If I was to tell you Because this is a real dude He was a very famous running back

Back in the day If I was to tell you his last name Give me a guess of his first name right His real last name is Biaka Batuka All right And I'm supposed to guess his first name If he was to just guess his first name

What do you think his first name would be? I feel like the way you're saying it's something like John or something like yeah like matt yeah i would guess brock but that might just be like because we've just been saying it yeah i'm gonna say i'm gonna say something like john okay what's your guess matt um hmm i don't know i'll take the same path i'll say like tyler yeah that's close is tim is tim biakabatuka biakituka and this is an african name what does he yeah i was to say what Like, what's his ethnicity? Yeah, it's not American.

I was thinking he might have been Samoan. Yeah. Nah. Tim Biaka. Oh, but that's not his real name. His real first name. His real first name is Tish Manga. Oh, yeah.

I didn't even know that. Pish Manga. That was my going to be my second guess. That could be a fire chorus to a song like Momba was. How do you say it? Tish Manga. Tishmanga Biyaka Batuka. Tishmanga Biaqabatuka.

I never knew his first name. I always knew. I could play this game all day. All right. All right. So let's do an all-name NFL team, okay? Best name ever. Hold on.

They had to play in NFL? Yeah, yeah. Best name ever for a quarterback. Name not ability. Yeah, just names. Mobility. But an actual player. Joe Montana,

hard to beat. Ability aside, that is an all-American. You're going to be the quarterback of the San Francisco 49ers name. Joe Thysman is pretty good. Joe Thysman's a piece of shit. And I say this as a Washington fan.

Joe Thysman is the biggest dickhead. He's known around D.C. as being just the biggest prick ever. He changed his name. So his name was Joe Thiesman when he was in college. He changed how he said his name for the Heisman to try to campaign for the Heisman Trophy so that it would rhyme. And then he lost. And then he had to live the rest of his life with a fake-ass name

that's a constant reminder of the fact that he lost the one award that he really wanted in college. And a compound fracture. Yeah, I mean, injury aside, I'm not, just because the dude brought, just because Lawrence Taylor dove into his leg on a Monday night football game doesn't mean that he's going to get remembered any differently for me. I'm sorry that he broke his leg, but now he's... I'm sorry you broke your elbow, but I don't care.

Now he's reduced to doing prostate commercials and having to say his name, which is not even his real name on TV all day. I think Joe Montana, I think Big T's right. Yeah, Joe Montana. Yeah, another one who's also a piece of shit, but Brett Fav is a fire fucking name. Yeah.

Brett Fav. Okay, so we got Joe Montana. Okay, one more, one more, one more. Randall Cunningham? Yeah. That's a good name too. That's a fire name. All right.

I'm cool. I'm cool. I'm cool with. I mean, that's our, those are three. That's our death chart. Yeah, we got a death chart. Okay. Best running back name.

DeAndre Swift is pretty goddamn good. I was going to say, I like Walter Payton. Yeah. O.J. Simpson is also pretty good. People forget the juice put up numbers People talk about that Separating the art for the artist You allegedly murder two people

And they forget about the Heisman campaign It was his son It was his son The juice was fire bro The juice When the juice was loose Like I'm joking but he actually was like unreal No I'm not just this this thing it was

He's a Hall of Famer He's one of the best running backs of all the Had 2,000 yards with 14 game seasons That's crazy Come on, bro. I like Walter Payton at Running Back. I feel like Mercury Morris. A name I always liked, Warwick Dunn always sounded like a running back to me.

Warwick Dunn. All-time great human being as well, though. Yeah, really good dude. Just a good dude, man. Also, if he built Deshawn Watson's house for him. Yeah, he like built houses in Atlanta for poor families and stuff. Yeah, it was for a fly effect. It was for single women.

Like, in Ward Gunn, I hadn't built that house. Listeners, if you have some great names, feel free to tweet at the macrodosing account. Thanks, Billy. Fullback. Live right out of the fuck. I got two names for fullback. There's one name. There's only one.

Those two. You're right. I got two. Yeah, there are two. Okay. Give me your one. Lorenzo, Neil. Oh, okay.

I was going to go with that way. And then two, Max Strong. not Mike Max Stott Yeah you're missing the two biggest ones I know I'm not talking about the best running backs In all time Names bro names

William Floyd Okay William Floyd And then Mike Alstad is a fire fucking man Listen I love Mike Allstar I've got to sign Mike Allstott Jersey in the other room right now I love he's one of my favorite players of all time

But if we're just talking like Great fullback names Mike Allstott is only a great fullback name Because he was a great fullback Matt Strong. I disagree. All stock. All stock. Yeah. It sounds strong. It sounds like brute strength. If he was if he was all stats, then he would have been a tailback that only cared about his touchdowns.

But he was all stopped and he cared about hurting people. Also, how can he can get better than Max Strong and Lorenzo Neal? Max Strong is just like Mac Trucks. Lorenzo Neal is a basic ass name. You're only saying him because he was a great. fullback Lorenzo is a fantastic name for a Lorenzo's too Italian

Neil gives me Neil is submissive he has a submissive He has a submissive ass name He like yeah he kneels before God That's a good boy He has the weakest name I don't need my fullback

bending the knee Yeah All right fair I'll take constructive criticism Literally His name translates to Lorenzo Tebow Oh yeah I stand by Max Strong

Or by Max Strong Let's go with William Floyd then. William Floyd is a, you can't get more basic of a name than that. Lloyd is a fire last name. That's pretty basic though. There's actually a kid for my high school named William Floyd, but we called him Billy. Bill Floyd. It's because I have the early 2000s Falcons on the brain after saying Warwick done, but Ovi Mahaley, good fullback.

How about my fullback? Vante Leach. Oh, great name. Yes, yes. All right. Great name. I like that. There's a couple of pull locks in there, too, that were missing out.

Yeah, some skis. There's some skis, which literally translates to downhill, which is what you want in a fullback. Yeah. There was that running back when I was playing with the Raiders name, Marcel Reese. Marcel Reese. That doesn't give me fullback fives, though. I mean, Aaron Rikowski is pretty damn good. Yeah.

How could I forget about the A-Train? John Coon was good just because people in Wisconsin would just, every time he touched the ball, they'd just be like, Coon. And then when Ripkowski took over for that first season after Coon, out of force of habit, they would see just a big, beefy, white dude, carry the ball for three yards, and they'd be like, Coon. That's wild. We've never got no black fullback.

Has there ever been a black fullback on the street of Packers? No, no, no. We've named several. Several. Oh, okay. Yeah. I stand corrected. All right. I vote Max Strong as fullback name.

Max Strong. I'm fine with that. I'm okay with it. Okay. You can't. There's not a roster space to have a backup. Yeah, yeah. No.

Wide receiver. Randy Moss, for sure. Number one. Yeah. Easy. Lynn Swan. Lynn Swan. Yeah.

I do feel like we're naming like Hall of Famers and we should get some guys. But Randy Moss obviously number one. I'm not. Okay. Chad Ocho Sinko. No, that's not organic. How about his teammate, T.J. Hushaminsada.

Oh. That's a good name, but it's not necessarily. But that's what I'm saying. So like, most like, like, so like Jerry Rice, that's a fire name.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm, the way I'm playing this game is I hear the name and think that guy should have his job. at that position okay I got so Randy Moss easy

like Hushman's out as a cool name but it doesn't make me think like oh that guy should be a professional football player got you okay um well uh lima sweet yeah Lima sweet is like a very like smooth did he play in the NFL

yeah I prefer stillers I believe yep second round pick kind of played for them One wide receiver that I think is more of a tight-in name is David Boston. RIP. David Boston sounds like a running back to me. Wait, David Boston died?

Yeah, didn't he? Wait, I didn't he? No. Is he alive? Shit. I am saying he is alive and well. Yeah. The age of 44.

I think, oh, I was thinking of Vincent Texan, that's my bet. Yeah. That's not good. Stay in a row for a while. David Boston. Please stay. Please get a checkup. Okay.

It's coming up this summer. Wide receiver, Plaxico Burris. That's a great. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. Great receiver name. Okay.

Oh, Percy Harvin. I like that as well. Come on. Percy Harvin. That's fire. Hmm. I mean, Tyreek Hill. Peter Garsohn is a great wide receiver name.

Who? Pierre Garsohn? No. That nigga. Sounds like you should be working in a patisserie or whatever. Yeah, Garcant. A patisserie. He sounds like the waiter at a French restaurant.

The French restaurants down the street from my apartment. What a... And I blanked. Okay, tight-in. Best tight-in names. Rob Grunkowski. I mean, you can't argue with that. It's a pretty good, pretty good name.

Antonio Gates, good, strong name. Algae Crumpler. Yeah. O.J. Mayo. Is this a different O.J. Mayo? No, wrong Mayo. Who, wait. There wasn't a Mayot?

Wasn't there also not a tight-in? I think there was a Mayo tight-in. I don't remember his name, though. I don't remember his first name. Oh, no, O.J. Howard. Howard, okay. And there was Ron than Ron Mayo. Yeah.

I knew there was a, I knew there's a, oh. Gerard. I would like to add, we've got three starting quarterback names. I'd like to add a backup quarterback name to the roster. Coy Detmer. Perfect backup quarterback name. I agree. Is anyone keeping track of this for a graphic?

we can go back is this what is this what dudes do and you guys like hang out i was going to say i literally saw a ticot last night of a comedian being like i spent 48 hours with my best friend and my wife asked what'd you do and i was like nothing she said you're with him for two days you had to do something he said okay you want to know we sat there and listed the best baseball team you could make out of guys whose first name started with r who played at least one season in the 21st century and he goes raphael for call and and names the whole team that's i could do that all day. Yeah.

This is what it goes on. Okay. Another great wide receiver name, Debo Samuel. Yeah, Debo. See, that gives me fullback vibes.

I don't really get... No, Debo is a fast. Debo just takes to the house. No, it's not... We had a conversation in the last podcast about Debo. Debo's like a big,

like, it's like a, like, you're hulkey. Yeah, but you can't tackle Debo. Debo gets yak. That's what I'm saying. It's not giving a receiver vibes. No, but Debo gets yak. but it's not because he's a receiver

that's what I'm saying if y'all think Debo as a receiver name it sounds fast to me Debo gives Megatron vibes well no because they're very different players I know I know but still

he'll he's gonna take like he's gonna go up and get the ball Beto Debo's a big ass dude he was the bully on the block he'll bully you in the air Why receivers ain't bullies some are Which one

Megatron Bullied Coors He wasn't no bully He was just big No bully Yeah but he He did I mean he just destroyed people

He's just bigger than everybody Andre Johnson bullied Like Cortland Finnegan No he punched him Yeah he beat the shit out of it That's not a bully You know what bully is I know what a bully is

What's a bully I used to be a bully I'm reformed Was a bully It's someone who like uses their intimidation and size You're an antagonist You're an antagonist

Megatron is not an antagonist Adjic Johnson was not an antagonist They're like receivers are divas dog True True Okay Ebo was a bully Yeah but a name for a bully wide receiver

Like a wide receiver that's cut from the You can't be a bully as a wide receiver You're passive Offensive Offensive lineman Richie Incognito Joe Thomas I think is a good Hardy name

Yeah I hear you charming in Maddie I just love Joe Thomas Yeah Dependable Joe Thomas Yeah Cody Motch New guy from North Dakota Oh um No

Alex Mac Alex Mac is a good one I got a great one This is probably a starting left tackle To Brickshaw Ferguson Yep. De Brickshaw Ferguson. Holy shit.

That broke back memories. Okay. So we only have one offense alignment. Let's stick with that. No, he said Richie Incognito. Oh, yeah, yeah. Good call. He got called for a lot of penalties for being named Incognito.

But he gets away with it. He gets away with holding most of the time. I guess so, yeah. He holds on every play. Okay. defensive tackles, I'm just going to take Frosty Rucker right off the bat. Let's get a Samoan name in there for a nose tackle. Hello, Noda.

Yeah. Oh, easily. Easily the best name. Yeah. Okay. Defensive end, edge rusher. Oh, I mean, Barcavius Mingo, like off the edge. Chedavian Clowny.

Outside linebacker. Clay Matthew. Yeah, no. I like Barquevius as our speed guy off the edge Ooh I don't know man

Dwight Freeney It's pretty good That's a pretty dope name What about linebackers I don't I was Dick still on defensive end I was gonna say Mario Williams

Brian Erlacker Nah Mario Williams kind of bland Brian Erlacker is a fire Yeah Erlacker for sure linebacker linebacker

was there a guy named Slaughter Yeah Sloder He was on Was he on the Niners And he retired early I was cause name

From the Cowboys Number 11 Micah Parsons Yeah That gives me DBUI Yeah I think it's Erlacker

bro You gotta go Earlacker Brian or Locker Yeah Oh another one He's like He's a Mike too though Is Ray Maluga

No Slater Slaughter was a QB No There's another guy named Slaughter That I'm missing out on Oh shit Who's the one Somebody's gonna correct me

49ers All right All right Defense of backs See thinking about dudes that was nice. I can't. The names are.

It's tough. Eric Berry. It has a fire. That's pretty good. I mean, Troy Palomalu, great name. T.J.

Slaughter was on the 49ers. T.J. Slaughter? Yeah. I think we found the problem with this game is you don't remember players except the ones that were really good. So we're picking from a very limited

pool. TJ Slaughter linebacker. Yep, that's what we're going with. T.J. Slaughter, he's a line. He played for a long time, too. And I'm a big T. I'm just now thinking of dudes

that was nice that had cool names. Yeah. Deion. Cornerback. D. Fred Smith. Fred Smith, great quarterback name. Champ Bailey.

Yeah. Yeah. But also one of the top four corners of all time. Yeah. All right. Good. Good session.

Good session. Just guys. Guys naming dudes. Guys naming dudes. It's my favorite game. It's my favorite type of activity. I want to talk about something that's in the news this week. We've got an arms race going on between two of Hollywood's most beloved actors, most Italian actors at all time.

Yes. So Robert De Niro last week announced that he just had a child and he's 79 years old, right? Hey, yo. Yeah. Seventh child, 79 years old, and it was with his girlfriend, Tiffany Chen. I don't know how old Tiffany Chen is. She's definitely not 79. I would guess she's in her 30s, maybe.

But not to be outdone, his good fellas, excuse me, his godfather co-star, were they even in the same godfathers? I don't know. El Pacino. His Irish, the Irishman co-star. Yeah, Al Pacino just had a kid. Al Pacino is 83 years old and his girlfriend is 29. So something when you think about. That's a wild dynamic.

Do we think that these kids are actually theirs? Why do you not think that they're theirs? Just because of the mobility at that age of swimmers? Mobility. Yeah, but you can, dude still produce sperm until they die, I'm pretty sure. I know, I know, but I'm just wondering. I'm just wondering. Like, did they actually P and V, like, do it?

Or was this a... Are they sure it's theirs? I'm just saying, I'm just saying. I think so. I just... There's ways to check, so... Right. I don't think they would be, yeah, I don't think they would claim...

But has the baby was coming? Wait, is the baby born? Is the baby born? Al Pacino's is it? not born yet. Robert De Niro says. There's a way to check in the womb though that you can, you can, you can take that test in the... How does that work? What's the relationship like if you're, if you're Robert De Niro, you just have a kid, it's your seventh child, you're 79 years old. I would imagine that he has some kids who are, let's see, 79 minus 25 or so. He's got some

kids that are probably 54 years old, 50 years old. They have children that are going to be older than Robert De Niro's youngest child. And their brother and sister. So you're going to have an uncle who is probably 20 years older than you. Or you're... Oh, sorry, I'm sorry. You're going to have a nephew that's 20 years older than you. Your uncle is going to be 20 years younger than you.

Yeah. That's wild. I mean, in the same way, you know, that at some point, you know, not. on wood the kid's going to be without a father we mean knocking wood like they're going to die no knock on wood like they don't i'm not wishing upon it but like that's kind of fucked up but i mean it's it's like almost it's almost kind of like uh uh what's her face who just went to prison recently having two kids elizith homes having two kids to stay out of prison and then she's going to be away from them for 11 years i'm saying it's irresponsible because yeah

I mean, I know they probably didn't think that they thought they were shooting blanks, but like, I don't disagree. We don't, we don't talk about Robert De Niro in the same way that we would talk about, like, Antonio Cromarty. Basically, he is, he's the Antonio Cromarty of actors. He's got seven kids, three, I think three or four different moms. Like, he's spreading it out there. Yeah, Nick Cannon. I would like to publicly apologize to any slander that I've ever put on Antonio Cromarty's name, much like I actually just did a second ago.

I think he's got a vast majority of his kids with his now wife that I think she just had twins. This dude has shot spermed through two vasectomies. Like there's not a force on earth that can stop Antonio Cromarty from getting his wife pregnant. That's possible. Yeah, sometimes they just don't work. I think one of my couple would. Oh, you know what? I might be getting confused.

He got a vasectomy, and then right after he got the vasectomy, he got his wife pregnant with twins. Yeah, there's like a period of time where you have to wait until basically like kicks in. Yeah, get it all out of the system. Yeah, you basically, yeah, you have to like clear house. Yeah. Yeah, if your dad is 83 years older than you, that's got to be a real strange. dynamic grown up. But also that that's a weird

dynamic of an 83 year old and I ain't judging y'all both grown do what you do but an 83 year old to be sleeping with a 20 year old. Yeah. It's fucking crazy to me. That shit's crazy to me, bro. Like we got nothing in common, though, other than we both horny right now. Like there's nothing we can talk about.

Do you think that she actually is horny for him? Or do you think she's just, she loves the fact that she's dating Al Pacino? Yeah. That's what it is. Is it possible for a 29-year-old to be sexually attracted to an 83-year-old? She may re-watch Scarface? Yeah.

Just to get sexually attracted to status. That's a real thing. Yeah. Or it's like succession, Carrie and Logan. Like she was attracted to a status. Yeah. Arian, what's the oldest woman you've been sexually attracted to? Oldest?

Well, I'm different. I know. Well, you're not, I'm thinking about it. I'm like, but see, this is different, right? So, like, I would never try to procreate with an older woman. Like, you know what I mean? I understand because I'm in a lot of these camps where y'all are talking about these fathers having lots of babies. I got a lot of kids.

And so I understand the hardships of trying to co-parent in. in shit in the city where I live in and it's very hard you know it's it's taxing it's emotional it takes a toll on everybody involved and so if we're that far apart um lifewise like we don't get along like we get along to a certain extent but like our relationship is my relationship there's no way I can procreate with that dynamic because it wouldn't be fair to anybody involved now i mean i have definitely had kids with somebody who i if i could take it back i absolutely would glad my kids are alive but like that was just a bad decision on my part and it's just turmoil that it brings and the drama that it brings it's just very hard so if you're 83 and you're 30

and then you have to now if they're together what's up that's what's up you know more power to him But if this is just like a one-off and she, you know what I'm saying, she's pregnant, it's going to be a hardship. And that's why I kind of let critics to what Billy was saying was like, it, if, if, if 83, your clock is ticking, right? So by the time the kid is in high school, you know, your cognitive functions probably not even at, at top night. So it's like the guidance and the, you know, the raising of the child or rearing of the child is going to be. negligent and so it's it's not it's not fair to the kid more than anything but everybody involved should know that and should understand that and why it's not responsible to bring in life into that situation so but people gonna fuck man people won't fuck so alpuccino's girlfriend uh she used to date

mcjagger so she's just really making her way around she likes old dudes yeah is it i mean it's or she like he's like old dudes he's like old famous dudes oh famous dudes yeah good point You're saying I'm noticing the pattern here. How many people have slept with both Mick Jagger and Al Pacino? Probably a lot of it, yeah. Yeah. Probably more old and a groupie. You're saying the groupie pool is small?

I'm sure they run in some of the same circles. I feel like can film festival, you know, or some one of those events, definitely had Mick Jagger and Robert Niro at them different times. And the same person attended them both times and went home with them. What historical figures do you think have shared the most common sexual partners People that aren't related Philosophers Like

Sopatis They was out there It was fucking the same little boys You know I'm right I was going to say John F. Kennedy and Mickey Mantle Probably they were definitely

Eskimo brothers I want to say JFCK and RFK Charlie Chaplin and Albert Einstein bro I'm telling you, I'm telling you, bro. They was thick as thieves, them two. And Einstein was a little hornball.

And so was Charlie Chappah. They was fucking the same bitch, easily. Hmm. Frank Sinatra and whoever else was famous at the time. Oh, yeah. The whole rap pack. Yeah, Sammy Davis Jr. and Frank Sinatra. Shout out to Frank Sinatra.

He was a real one, though. Like, he would play at clubs. And there was black art. is that that they wouldn't allow to play with him. He's like, I'm not coming unless they play too. He's like, I'm not coming. Frank Snatch was the real one. What year was the Phoenix Suns podcast?

The 20... That was bubble. The 2020 Suns? They had a podcast? No, this girl went on a podcast and talked about how she... She has a name. I don't know what it is, but she had sex with basically like every player on the Phoenix Sons at once.

the fuck at one time I believe that's what it was she was the other one they got into the bubble all right so big T you're confusing this argument because they all just shared one sexual partner I was

it was a joke don't worry about it keep going wait hold on so this didn't happen no no it did happen to her to her the only claim is hers on the

also also we don't know if she's lying and that right she's probably telling it's allegedly she's probably telling it's true I don't know what do what what what what

what what what what what what what what what what what what what would admit that that happened right but you know if you're looking for attention on a podcast you can't embell

it was the woman it was a wild claim to make it was the woman not one of the players no that's what I'm saying but so the woman saying she's slept with multiple people on the Phoenix Sun squad

yes that what I'm saying what is what is I would have to listen to it, right? But it sounds like it probably happened and they don't... I think it was on no jumper. Yeah, I'm sure it happened.

Yeah. I think it happened, yeah. Okay, I've got maybe the correct answer. We're going to go with Wilts Chamberlain and Frank Sinatra. Yeah, that's absolutely happened. That's a lot of cross-pollination going on right there. Did you play in the same era? Will Chamberlain's numbers.

I don't. Which are not possible. Did they play in the same era? Yeah, I mean, Frank Snottch was a little bit older, but Will Chamberlain, I think he was in L.A. throughout the 60s. That's probably when he put the most work in. Frank Sinatra was probably like in his upper 40s, 50s maybe.

No, Will Chamberlain and Hugh Heffner. That's, I can see tons of overlap there. When did Hugh Hefner go pro? I think he's been pro since the 40s. you can do Hugh Hefner No, not the 40s The 70s Any generation of superstar

And Hugh Hefner would That would probably be the case You know what? I think Billy's right I think it's Hugh Hefner and Wilkeshaired one Those are the two Got to the bottom of that one Yeah

Boom All right You guys want to talk crop circles Or Billy you want to talk UFOs Oh yeah There was just short thing NASA did a press conference on UFOs and basically the

I listened to it's 17 minute Q&A and basically all they said was we don't know enough about the UFOs and need to gather more information about them to make any sort of assertation about them and I was like well that was a waste of time no evidence still huh well

there's there's some can did you guys watch the video that they showed Congress like Congress was shown a video of an object in briefed so I mean that means that that object

is real nobody ever says that huh nobody says that there aren't unidentified fine objects right that doesn't mean they're aliens they don't mean they're not from here i think they might be from earth oh that was your it's not that crazy

uh yeah but i think the most realistic uh thing would be that they're u.s highly advanced drones that are like our new nuclear defense system I can sleep better at night now. Yeah, that's what I tell myself. Okay, you guys want to get... Send the video to Congress in the chat.

Oh, yeah, the Congress video. Yeah, put it in the chat. In the meantime, where we're looking at this, before we get into UFOs and crop circles, this episode is brought to you by GameTime. GameTime is the exclusive ticketing partner of Barstall Sports. It's created by fans for fans. Game Time is the ticketing app that makes it easier than ever.

to score last minute deals on tickets to sports, concerts, and shows, and they guarantee the lowest price. It's baseball season. We're going to a lot of games this summer. It's awesome. Nothing better than a daytime baseball game, especially if it's in the middle of the week.

You're supposed to be at work. Your boss doesn't know. Take a sick day. Hit up game time. Go check out a ball game. We went to a bunch of games last year. Big T, are you going into any Mets games?

Any Mets Braves games in summer? Yeah, maybe. I went to a Braves game the other day, though. Game time. How was it? It was great. Tough little stress for your Braves. Listen to one in a row to Oakland.

Yeah, that's fine. Whatever. Game time's great. Game time is great. Also, the Braves are definitely going to kick the shit out of the athletics tonight. Just putting that on record. I hope that happens, yes.

It has to. You can't go through this with Oakland right now. But if you want to get to a game or a concert, summer concerts, big thing right now. You've got Taylor Swift, the nomad dog just went to see Taylor Swift the other night. We've got lots of summer tours. I've got my eye on a couple things.

I want to check out this summer. I'm going to be using game time, feeling out the Chicago music scene, using game time to get in. The best part about game time, if you're going to a game with a big group of friends or if you're going with family members that might not know how to do ticket transfers

and all that stuff, it's super easy with game time. It takes two taps in 10 seconds. And then when you buy your tickets, you can share them via text so you can get get into the game seamlessly no holding up the line at the entrance you just send the text you don't have to log in you don't have to do all this crazy stuff where you cycle through five different apps to send the tickets to somebody skip the hassle just enjoy the moment best way to go check out sports game or a concert we've got draken 21 savage Luke brian Taylor swift chance the rapper Mets Yankees I'm going to go check out some some nationals games I actually I made a promise the other day to Corey Kisbert. I even signed a contract, which I think is legally binding online.

I'm going to go to four Wizards games next year. I'm back in on the Wizards. We've got a new general manager. I'm going to start getting back into the Wizards. I've put them out of my brain for the last, oh, I'd say 15 years. I haven't really exhausted much mental capital on the Wizards since Gilbert left, although Paul Pierce is pretty good for a couple seasons.

I'm back in on the Wizards. I'm going to go to at least four Wizards games next. year. I'm going to use game time for it. Go to check out some baseball. Go to Wrigley Field. Guaranteed rate park out here in Chicago. Check it all out. Download the game time app or go to the website, enter your email and redeem code macro. Get 20 bucks off your first purchase.

How about that? 20 bucks in your pocket, thanks to game time. That's 20 bucks. You don't have to spend on a ticket when you download the game time app or go to the website. Put that email in, redeem code macro for 20 bucks off your first purchase. Some terms apply. I would imagine one of those terms is if you buy a ticket. not to harp on the athletics.

I feel bad for A's fans. But if you want to go to an A's game, I'm pretty sure that tickets are like five bucks to get in. You get 20 bucks off that with macro. They probably won't give you a $15 rebate. But I'm just saying you can get a great deal for an A's game, I'm sure, using promo code macro on your first purchase. Some terms apply.

All right. Let's get back into it. I just saw the video that Billy sent that that was shown to Congress I'm so sick in time my ring camera is better quality than that bullshit like I just why like come on

brer we have HD cameras everywhere if these motherfuckers is flying around show me the good stuff somebody take an HD camera up with a pilot why they just always recording with fucking Nokia's I got another video I can show you but which isn't the one they showed

to Congress but PFT can fill you in on what exactly that type of footage is because... Yeah, I would love to. Yeah, because I wouldn't be allowed to because... Looks like this was taken using maybe an infrared sensing targeting pod. It's taken by a sidekick camera. It might have been taken at night, which is why you don't get...

There's no light that's bouncing off it, but you might be seeing some infrared images of it that they're using to target a weapon onto it to get a radar lock on this image. so that's why the footage quality is low. It's also very possible that they're not giving us the good footage

that they don't want us to see that because they probably have a different camera on it that they've got better images of but this is one that they're showing us and Aaron you brought up the ring camera I'm trying to figure out my whole ring camera situation

at my new house and I'm having a really hard time figuring out exactly how to get that whole thing set up but I signed up for the ring app, which is the worst mistake of my life. Because now every 20 minutes, I get neighborhood notifications about any sort of crime or lost pet that happens within like a five-mile radius.

You can turn it off. But here's the problem. Now I'm kind of addicted to it. So I'm like, oh my God, there was a shooting. And then I pull it up and it's like five miles away. And then I start thinking of myself, oh, my God, this is crazy. And so I'm, like, addicted to the fear porn that ring is now sending to me. I turned all.

I turned all that shit off. Like, it was so bad. Like, there's notifications for, like, any movement. You know what I'm saying? And then I realized there's a really dope feature where you can, like, select sections. Like, if somebody enters this section, if a human face enters this section, then it has facial recognition stuff on it, it's pretty dope. I like it.

I'm wondering if the ring can't. camera is still hooked up to my, the person who lived in this house. I wonder if it's still hooked up to their phone. So every time I'm outside on the front porch, they get a notification that I'm there. I hope so. So yeah, this new other video was taken by a hand glider who had a pretty good HD camera. Not confirmed. But like that could be a balloon from what we're looking at.

but yeah or a drone yeah but yep still very unconvincing I mean the fact that they're showing Congress it is pretty convincing that there's something there

not to me they show Congress a whole bunch of shit that is like not compelling at all do you think that they just gaslight Congress yeah for sure I think

think about the people that are serving in Congress right now they're the most easily trickable people in the world I'm sure that when the military it comes time to brief Congress they're like oh yeah we're going to give them absolute dog shit and they're going to love it

because they don't know any better The Intelligence Queen is in Congress this is not some high bar to enter George Santos is in Congress right now exactly bro all right before we get into UFOs just real quick

I save this to keep it away from the top of the show because it seems like we always talk about our rounds of golf at the top of the show. I just want to update you on what happened yesterday. I went out to the golf course here, played a quick nine holes, got a par, no big deal. But in devastating news, Billy, you'll appreciate this. I got poison ivy. I got poison ivy pretty badly from it.

Put W4 on it. W4? That sounds like a chemical. WD 40. I was going to say, you don't mean WD4. WF what's you mean W4 it's like a grease cleaner but it's supposed to get all the oil

off your legs because it's like an industrial that's WD 40 yeah he's talking about WD 40 yeah because the oils did you put like in doors to make yeah but the oil it like strips the oil off your skin so it doesn't spread because that's what you want to get off okay I'll have to give that shot

yeah I'm actually seeing online, a lot of people said use WD40 to help get poison IV off. I don't know if I'm ready to try that though. My New Year's resolution is to not take any medical advice from Billy football. Oh, because every time

I tell you something, it works. You don't, you almost had to, you almost had to get surgery, but we prevented that. Yep. What else? Every time. every time

but let's talk about some crop circles let's get into that maybe the most historical crop circle or at least maybe the oldest one you could call the NASCAR lines kind of crop circles right I was going to talk about

so basically the crop circles that we all know and the ideas like the circular geometric features those were all fake there's a bunch of people who came forward saying that they did them especially around Stonehenge to sort of like make people think UFOs were coming

some in Australia were caused by those dust bunnies what were like the mini tornadoes the wind gusts yeah dust devils um and then there's some from pre uh 20th century that are unexplained but could be explained by like a meteorite but basically you can find two guys Doug Bauer and Dave Chorley who basically were the first ones to just push down crops with a piece of wood and string and like create these very intricate designs but the NASCAR lines I actually think there's merit too okay um Billy I want to talk about the Australian ones because there's some uh there's some pretty prevalent crop circles that they went viral I want to say maybe 10 years ago in Tasmania.

And their crazy crop circles, very circular. And everybody was convinced that these things were put there by UFOs marking some sort of territory. They looked into it. And what actually happened was they're wallabies, right? The little mini kangaroos that live in Tasmania. And they eat a shitload of the poppies because Tasmania grows a huge, portion of the world's opium. They grow, there's just massive, massive

fields of poppies. The wallabies would eat the poppies, get high as shit, and then they just start hopping around in perfect circles, and just keep turning left. And they would make these perfect circles in the fields, and everyone was convinced that it was

the end of times that aliens were coming down to Earth to Nukas. And it's just these stoned-ass wallabies jumping around in circles. It's awesome. That's awesome. I wonder if that happens in Afghanistan. with the uh was it the giant of candahar or whatever yeah that's we need to look into that and was any zero block 30 members in afghanistan or all were iraq yeah kate was there kate was in afghanistan i i need to ask her if like she heard the legends the kandahar giant

because apparently a bunch of u.s special forces members went out to in a place in kandahar and found a gigantic human being that killed several U.S. special operatives. And then they killed it and they secretly had to take the body out. Sounds legit. But yeah, you want to talk about the Nazca Lines? Yeah. Nazca Lines were just depictions that no one really knew were depictions of various beings until they flew over them and were like, oh, my God, those are drawings in the whole earth.

but um yeah there's there's pictures of animals like really good pictures of animals too some people thought that some of the straight lines might have been landing strips for old school UFOs if they were here on earth um but there's some that look like birds there's one that looks like a cat exactly like a cat in peru yeah so it's in southern peru in the nasca desert and some early peoples there. I think they haven't so they were discovered by the first European to

write about them was Pedro Ciaiza di Leon in his book of 1553 and he described them just as trail markers because he thought they were trails and then Luis Monzon in 1569

talked about them and then they only really discovered that the Nazca lines were actually depictions in around in 1940 when he flew over the lines and realized that one was in the shape of a bird. Paul Kosuk, an American historian. So, I mean, but, like, if, how can they construct these and know that they were making depictions if they couldn't see from above, I mean, I guess there was mathematical ways you could like make a grid system to create these lines, but they were huge structures.

it would take some serious geometry it's like how how they design the pyramids to be perfectly aligned with uh with stars you have to be you have to be hell of good at science to figure out how to do that without a calculator like some people think that aliens were involved ancient cosmonauts but we can't yeah i think it's more the reality of the situation is that people back then just had so much more time on their hands because they didn't have the internet or any sources of entertainment. So they're like, let's turn this whole field into a grid and just like sketch it out on a small piece of paper and then just put the rocks where you think they're supposed to go. Well, think about it from this perspective. If you're in ancient

culture in Peru and you spend months, if not years, designing these perfect outlines of shapes of animals, whatever the case may be. And you know that you're going to put in all this work and never be able to see it from above. That's kind of a beautiful thing. You're just making art just to make art. Now, unless there was a way that they could get up and look down on it, but a lot of these places are in the middle of fields,

which they would never be able to get up high enough to actually see the result of their work and what it looks like. So they were just doing it just to do it. or they were trying to like show the heavens art in order to get you know like rains and I mean it was a desert and rain was probably rare and they probably thought that whoever was sending the water from above might see these and reward them with water that's true I feel like that's a bit more plausible yeah explanation I've always thought though that that we're not being told about some sort of ancient flight technology. Because I still think that there's

no chance that we're the first civilization to ever think of the fact that, oh, look at this bird and how it flies. Maybe we can design something that looks like that bird and be able to fly ourselves. I think that there's probably an ancient civilization that had some sort of flight if it was a plane or if it was a hot air balloon, any of these things. I think that there's probably I think that somebody somewhere had the idea. Sure, but were they able to execute? Maybe not, but Billy, I'm going to get, I'm going to get Kate into the studio real quick. Oh.

To talk about the Kandahar Giant, if that's okay with you. I just hope, I don't know, hope it's not too far out there. All right. She's going to come down in a second. But yeah, the NASCAR lines are awesome. You should look up pictures of them. You can find them millions of places online, but they're very, very cool. The cat that's on the side of the mountain, they made that one so that people could look at it.

And it looks like it's a cat wearing sunglasses, which is pretty awesome. It's like something that you'd find in Etsy store. Yeah. If I was an alien civilization, there's no way I would draw weak-ass stick figures and spiders on the floor. if i was going to write shit on the floor you know what i would do something that was like so like one of the most brilliant things i think mankind has ever done was um what is that voyager thing to boy i think it was um oh the uh that golden um that they sent with like the music and stuff car car sagan the probes yep so one of the things that they did um

on it was a they put like they spoke like mathematics right so i think they did i think it's a carbon atom uh signature let me see i don't want to misrepresent what they actually did um let's see voyager signatures signatures But anyway, while I'm looking this up, they put a bunch of stuff on there that denoted we understood science, that denoted that there's certain like universal truths that go on, right? Like different atoms, splitting atoms, spectral lines, our space in our solar system, our point where we're at, stuff like that. stuff like that you know what i'm saying or um uh anything prime numbers stuff like that stuff that reoccurs throughout the universe not just like some random spider you know what that that's that's why i remain skeptical about shit like this it's never it's never anything

like trying to really communicate with it's always like folklore stuff that happened to be of that time you're talking about the movie contact where they sent out sent on a message to that was math that was recycling that would make sense that would make sense yeah uh is kate in the studio yeah yeah hello hey kate how's it going good how you guys doing we're doing great billy had uh had had some questions about the kandahar giant we'll tell you how we got there we were talking about the uh the crop circles down in tasmania and how they were formed by a bunch of wallabies that ate opium that ate poppy seeds and jumped around in circles to make like these perfect designs in the field. And then Billy was like, I wonder if the Kandahar giant ever got into the poppy fields in Afghanistan.

And then he was wondering if you had ever heard about the Kandahar giant and whether or not there was any truth to this, this urban legend that Billy wants so very deeply to believe is true. Yeah. So we actually had, there's this guy, Tales from the Grid Square, who does all military, like, spooky stories and stuff like that. and he had a bunch of guys on who swear they had seen the giant of Kandahar and it's middle of Afghanistan this creature, it's like the Yeti kind of out there flaming red hair, 13 feet tall,

six fiery fingers and toes and these troops, especially special forces, would be out patrolling in the middle of the night and they would stumble upon like they would sometimes he would attack with a spear and other times they're like, we saw him, he was just cooking his dinner and like in the clearing, you know, stuff like that.

But apparently he took out a whole squad and all this stuff. And I think in like Snopes even went in and had to confirm with the DoD that like, no, there's no official record. But I'll say this to what kept everybody going, because you were awake sometimes for a really long time, was these little cans called Rip It. Have you guys ever heard of Rip It? No. It's like straight up acid full of caffeine that we would just chug 24-7. So say you've been up for three days. and now you're on watch

and it's the middle of the night and you're by yourself and you've had 15 ripets, you might see the giant of Kandar walking by, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. It's like being at a sleepover

for too long with your friends. Right, exactly. You've been up a little too long and maybe you're seeing a couple of giants roaming around. But yeah, it's basically like Afghanistan's Yeti. Yeah. So from what I read, one dude, they like,

they heard about this thing. They went to approach it and it was in a cave And one dude, like the point man was walking to the cave and just got hit with a giant spear. Yeah. And then this giant ran out. And then everybody else just like shot him up. Like, and then the helicopter went, took it away. And nobody knows if it really happened or not.

And they think it's like a biblical creature. They think it's like whatever David fought. Yeah, I think it's safe to say that is correct. That is what happened. Okay. Yeah. Yes. We had all heard.

That was like a common thing that everybody had heard of though. Hell. For sure. Yeah. Snopes. we just autocorrected snopes There you go Boom

Dude that's I was being insane I know it's probably a product of What's like a desert oasis What's the What's the word I'm thinking for? A mirage something like that Well the other thing that Kandahar was famous for

Was the Kandahar Poopond There was a giant military base there Called like Kandahar Air Base or something I got to go there just one time for a couple days But all the poop of the region We're in these giant open ponds and the troops built lifeguard stands and they had like they all built dummies like fishing in the Poupon and it was supposed to be this like vacation destination but it was like like three

acres of just poop sludge and the Kandahar Poupon and the giant of Kandahar were the big well the Kandahar things I can't imagine that Poupon baking the sun might make some fumes that might make people a little yeah that that could be a possibility could be a but look up photos Google photos of Kandahar Poupon and see how people The troops jazzed it up with their like little scarecrows and stuff like that. But they made the best of the poo pond and the best of the giant. I don't know if you're still there. Oh, yeah.

I love it. This poop pond does not look like a good swimming hole. No, not a good time. Oh, that's funny. They put, they put together a little dummy lifeguard reenactment. Area 50 poo. Yeah. That's awesome.

You should call it area shitty one. They should have. That would have been. You would have crushed it as a troop, I think. You would have really thrived just on puns alone. If there's anything I know that the military loves, it's one-liners. Honestly, in the smoke pit, you'd be just an absolute delight, be a hit. All right.

Well, thank you, Kate. I'm glad we got to the bottom of that. Candidharian, Real. Yes, confirmed real. Thanks, guys. From Kate Barstool. Thanks, Kate. Thanks, Kate.

All right, Bill. You must feel validated by that. I'm just fascinated. We need to do an episode on like Cryptozoology and war zones Because there are tons of Vietnam vets that say that they like saw You know civil war Generals

Like all sorts of stuff in the forest I know high stress situations probably cause a little bit of that But some of the stories are just like Insane You're also smoking a lot of reefer over there Yeah People again, that's how we lost the war is that

no I'm joking there's a bunch of other cool ones out there I want to talk about maybe some that aren't really traditional crop circles but there's a pentagram in the middle of Kazakhstan

oh you're familiar with this one is it near the giant burning hole I don't know if it's near the giant burning hole or not yeah dude this is Kazakhstan is the most

metal country yeah but there's a pentagram it's in the corner of Kazakhstan, it's about 12,000 feet in diameter. So that's like four football fields or so. Sounds good math. You guys hear that?

Wow. Hang on. Hang on. What'd you just say? It's 12, or sorry, 1,200 feet in diameter. Got it. Yep, you're right. You're right.

That was a mistake. 1,200 feet in diameter. Still pretty big. And it's carved into the earth's surface. But what it apparently is, is, an outline of a park so they decide to make a park that had walking

trails that was the shape of a star and then they put a circle around the park just as the entrance to the park so they unintentionally created a pentagram into the earth in the middle of Kazakhstan which is very funny. That's crazy. The Darvasa gas

crater is actually in Turkmenistan and that's just a giant burning pit which some think is the door to hell yeah the gateway to hell the thing's awesome um there's a couple other good ones there's one in new mexico have you seen those the uh the mesa it's by mesa huera fanita two big diamonds surrounded by a pair of overlapping circles and some people think that it's a bunker belonging to the church of scientology that they built there.

But the fact that it's in New Mexico, everybody will just be like, oh, shit, that's, that's Area 51 or not Area 51, Roswell stuff. Yeah. Well, you know, Denver Airport, it's in a shape of a swastika. Uh, no, that's not exactly true. That's part of the thing. Yeah, some people say that I don't see it. That's, if you're looking for a swastika, you'll find a swastika.

Well, let's go to the maps. there's also another one in northern kazakhstan that looks like a swastika but when they made it it could have been made by by people like two thousand years ago when the swastika was a sign a hindu sign of peace yeah still at that at some point it's like a tattoo if you get a swastika tattoo and you're in prison when you get out you should cover that shit up. I don't think they should cover up the swastika in the middle of, uh, in the middle of Kazakhstan.

That's my official position. The Denver airport, if you look at it, it's there. Oh, I don't see it. Who was I talking to about? Oh, no, my mind. I forgot. All right. What other crop circles you want to talk about, Billy?

I think we kind of hit the nail on the head. There's some people who say that there's certain... So I wanted to talk about when the... This is a funny story. So, um... So Mr. Delgado, who has written many books about, uh,

crop circles. He said, uh, Delgado said that not only was 100% made by aliens, but he could sense that the aliens had just left regarding, uh, a crop circle that he had just come upon. And Delgado was like, there's no way this could be a hoax.

But then those two dudes I talk about Doug and Dave who had been doing it since 1976 came up to him like as like a reveal. They like tried to trick the crop circle expert by the two crop circle makers would show up. And Mr. Delgado looked at Doug and Dave and said, oh my God, that's why you two are always there. And then he admitted that he'd been pranked that they've been like the two. hoaxers came out and we're like yeah we made this and we've been making all of them and this Delgado guy was like what like I've written so many books about how this is aliens and you guys have just been making them the whole time so yeah so that was a fun there's there's this one guy

down in uh shout out to the hoaxers that just like do this in their free time that's a that's a excellent use of of being constructive and uh and just try to create something beautiful on this and then having a bunch of people fall for it. There's this guy named Dr. Horace Drew, which is very confusing because I guess his name's Dr. Drew. And he claims that he saw a UFO in Jacksonville, Florida. That might have been kind of similar to Kate's situation, except with meth since it's Jacksonville.

But he does have a PhD in chemistry from Caltech, which gives him a little bit of credibility. He's found some very intricate crop circles in his fields. And he's studied a bunch of this stuff. He makes a good point. He says that if you think about crop circles, the way that we communicate with animals underneath the ocean, it would line up in the similar line of thinking.

So humans have tried to communicate with dolphins in various ways by putting things underwater that they'll find, get interested in, and maybe learn something about us, or just as a way to see how the dolphins react to something that we introduced their native habitat to learn more about their intelligence. If you think about how we look at dolphins and whales as being, you know, very intelligent, but also well beneath the human brain, and we're trying to communicate with them and just see how they react. The same could be said for an alien trying to communicate with Earth. If they're like, well, these people are smart,

maybe if we put things in their fields that they will, they will recognize, then they'll be able to start communicating with us or we can we can watch how they react to it and we can learn more about them and how smart they really are like if you think about in that paradigm it kind of makes sense yeah i mean they the nasca lines there's a cat trying to tell us that the cats are aliens yeah many people think cats are aliens yeah that's like a that's like a that's like cats versus dogs the movie cats are aliens what about the movie signs

you guys see signs is that the one with mark walberg no he could be in it this is the one with Joaquin phoenix and mel Gibson oh it was a a thriller a thriller where there's a bunch of crop circles

that appear on earth and then aliens start walking around some in south america some in the middle of nowhere in America and they put these signs out as targets for their landing craft and then they show up and they try to take over Earth

but we beat them because they're deathly allergic to water which seems like an all-time fuck up for the aliens to try to invade a planet that is 70% water oh no I've I got signs mixed up with

there's another M-night Shama Lion one with Mark Wahlberg where plants decide to kill people. Yeah, I have not have not seen that one. Oh, that's with the, it's like invisible.

Yeah. And like, like, it's like the wind was so bad though. It was trash. Where do you all stand on M. Knight generally? I think he had like three bangers. Give them to me.

I see Dead People. What's the name of that movie? Signs was not a bangor. Signs was good. of signs. Okay, do me a favor. Run it back and see, well, I don't know if you have enough time, but if you have a chance, run it back and see if you feel still

like it's a banger. Six cents. That's the movie I was thinking of. Six cents was a bang. Sixth Sense was a banger. The village banger. Village was underrated. Good movie. What's the village about? It's about a village.

It's hard to tell you without giving it away, but you should watch it. It's a good movie. It's about like an Amish Mennonite village in Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania. Well, no. They're very, very traditional. And then weird stuff happens. Well,

spoiler. Never mind. No, no. I haven't seen it. It's like. It's cool. It's join me to spoil it? No, I do.

I said, don't. Okay. Never mind. Split. Good movie. Hmm. Is that what the bipolar cat? Not bipolar.

Yeah. The guy who has like all the different people within his brain. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a fire movie. Very good movie. The Devil, I think, was one. Was M-Night?

Yeah. The devil was really scary. I just remember that commercial's scaring the hell out of me. You think M-Night Shamelin would be as renowned of a director if his name wasn't M-night? Because M-night is a sick name for like a horror mystery guy. You make six sense. you know

what percentage of people do you think that that watched six cents knew that the guy was dead the entire time the first time very yeah the first time five five people in total percent

oh because I'm my bad I mean they do show it the John Mullaney joke he tells about the movie that's the first thing that show you yeah he he gets what is he gets stabbed or shot shot I think if you saw that movie I want to hear from you if you saw it in the first time you watched it you were like oh this guy's dead I think you're a genius I would say it's less than 5% I would say it's probably one 1% one on every 100 people that saw I

want to say I recall my dad saying he knew the first time he watched it because I I remember when I watch that movie as a kid, my parents were like, you're not going to believe this. And I think my dad claimed to know, his also claim to fame is every year on the Survivor finale. He can tell the exact point when Jeff Probst is walking from the recorded to the live, and he claims he can pick it out every single year exactly where it switches. That's a great skill to have.

Seriously, if you call that he was dead, while you watch it the first time you should put that in your Twitter bio new boost was dead the entire movie that detecting shenanigans from the jump yeah that's his favorite thing to do is the survivor thing that's funny

but we were talking about prop circles as it pertains to signs Aryan yeah about how that was like a marker of alien like where they should land I was actually I was thinking of the fact that if aliens want to test our intelligence, that would be one way to do it to put

a bunch of stuff on the planet that looked like it should not be there and then see how we react to it. Kind of like how we deal with dolphins and whales under the ocean. Give them mirrors. Yeah. I always look at it like if I'm an alien species, right? I'm traveling for one of two reasons. I'm traveling because the resources on my planet have dried up and have similar resources there and the only other reason is exploration check and see what that fuck is out here on this big brand universe they could be trolling too well think about it this way who is doing the most right now to uh allegedly push the limits of colonization on other planets on space exploration i mean NASA is still doing some stuff but

Elon is spending a shitload of money on that. Elon would definitely go to a different planet and spend $10 billion getting there and then put a poop emoji on it because you think it'd be funny. Oh, my God. There's some alien Elon must let that sink in. Yeah. Or it has bad jokes on other planets. Yeah.

Or what if the aliens are just like where zoo creatures and they're just like, throwing peanuts at us at the zoo like we're just like wild animals to them and they're visiting messing with us they're visiting to go on safari and they're just like wow look at these humans yeah then there's other aliens that are like pissed off at those aliens like you're being very immature right now yeah like humans are protected species they can't mess with them no i don't think that's the case i don't think another civilization can look at us and be like they're not intelligent species. Well,

I use the word loosely. We do stupid shit, but we're obviously brilliant, right? But maybe not by their standards. That's what I'm saying. But comparatively to everything on this planet, we're the most intelligent species. So relatively,

we're intelligent to our environment. So let's, I mean, if we have a jungle, right, and we see some chimps or some apes in general, interacting, we recognize that they're the most intelligent species in that stratosphere, I mean, in that environment, as well as like dolphins or orchards. Like, we recognize like the intelligence level of them, right? Octopuses.

And we recognize that shit. And we interact with them. Like, I feel like they would look at us the same way and say, we record, they're not on our level, obviously, but we recognize that they have some intelligence to them and we should interact. Because, like, Star Trek is that, like, Star Trek is that thing, too, that Star Trek notion of the Prime Directive. Like, you don't mess with a civilization. Like, you don't interact with a civilization and let them know that you're intergalactic and that you can move throughout the stars.

You don't do that unless they can reach warp speed. There's a phrase I like to use. It's a human is smart. Humans are dumb. Why would you? Don't take, don't take my shit. You stole it from Tommy Lee Jones. Yeah, but I ain't never anybody dig it up.

You seen Ready 4-1 yet? No, not yet. Maybe one of these days. But, Aaron, to your point, we are very smart. We are very, very smart. In fact, humans are so smart that we've invented a way to kill all other humans. Fire. But what if aliens think that that's why we're still dumb?

No, that's exactly the point. It's like they, they can see our level of intelligence, but they're also like at a macro scale. These things are the biggest dumbasses on Earth. Because, I mean, say what you want about Canada geese. They're annoying as shit. They're mean. They'll bite you.

They're aggressive. But Canada geese have never once come close to figuring out a way to wipe out the entire planet. They've shot on the entire planet, basically. They have. which is better you know what so of humans though but what if what if they're

shout out the poop pool what if there's another civilization on earth that has contact with aliens and we just and we don't you know you stuck on this you really think you really think this though who the hell is driving these UFOs

Billy do you want do you want aliens to invade during your lifetime no not really I do I would like an event to happen in my lifetime that totally shakes the course of humanity and wakes us to fuck up

because this is the stupidest thing possibly that we could be doing. COVID is dumb. That didn't do it. It's pretty close. I'm talking about our objective. Think about it. When you wake up every morning, dog,

you go to work to go get money. That's your objective as a human is to make money. If you do not make money, you die. Period. This is a stupid way to form society. It is fucking dumb. I want something to happen to wakes us up to realize this is not what life is supposed to be. This is a fucking rat race and it's depressing.

I'm sorry, I just brought you into my pessimistic thought process. But it's just fucking stupid. It's dumb. This is so stupid. What would an example? Let's say not, what's the most of earth event that could happen to snap us out of that? If aliens don't come, is there anything else that could cause that? An exponential increase in artificial intelligence that can readily handle all of humans' basic needs.

If we can get like 3D printing for houses and agriculture and shit like that to where humans don't have to worry about where food and shelter come from, that would totally disrupt our way of life. now what if artificial intelligence gets so intelligent that they realize how dumb we truly are and then artificial intelligence just basically says peace I'm out I don't want to be part of this because you're going to kill me end all of yourselves one day too I would just say make a version of yourself and you go do your thing in outer space tap in every now and then say hi but keep that shit here so that because we can't leave we're stuck here with the rest of motherfuckers that want to blow your thing up what if a i just like gets to a point keeps improving

itself and then interlocks into everything disarms all of our nukes like fire has that would be dope as shit just starts like taking over and just like it's a i government ai communism like communism no one's ever gotten to the point of communism because that's like a common theory that communism no one's ever gotten there uh what if a i i takes us to this heavenly communism and where everything gets distributed equally and because

they're just the greatest unbiased power that only wants to that's only true meaning is to take care of us. Do you think that's where this all might lead? It would be fire, bro. What? It would be amazing. if you if you didn't have to worry about work if you could wake up every single day and didn't have to do anything what would you what would you do? So Marcus Aurelius

remember in one of his readings I'm gonna butcher this but he talks about getting out of bed and when he can't he can't get out of bed and he talks about you know everything has a purpose the ants march to get food for their colony like work

you know I should get up and do what humans are supposed to do which is you know he was ruling an empire but he still struggled

with like the depressive type stuff where he didn't want to get out of bed so I think I think I'd still do something that would somehow

contribute to the world in some way because I think that's at the end of the day, what we're supposed to do. There's no, there's no right or wrong answer. I think a lot of the times people don't, I think about this shit a lot

because I don't have anything to do. And so I find myself pondering, you know, these philosophical questions. But like if the majority of people didn't have to work, what would they do? podcast They already do that

That's true But like for example You're You're stimulating the economy By spending on stuff that you want to do Be it around the golf Like you're still contributing by spending So technically your job is to

To help The larger Yeah but that doesn't fulfill doesn't fulfill me buying golf clubs so that Calloway CEO can have money. You know what I'm talking about? I'm talking about if your basic needs are taken care of and everybody's basic needs are taken care of, the ageal argument is incentive. What incentivizes people to do anything?

Would there be any ambition? I would argue yes. Super capitalist would argue no. And so I always pose a question to them. If you didn't have anything to do, what would you do? I believe there are people that wouldn't do anything. I feel like that's okay. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

So there was an experiment done with mice. Okay. And they basically invented mice utopia. Calhoun, have we ever spoken about this? John Calhoun's experiments to study the effects of population density on behavior. Basically, I think what happened was so there's unlimited food multiple levels and secluded little rodent condos

they wanted to study the effects of population density and start making rat utopias and mouse paradises it first quickly spiraled into out of control overcrowding eventual population collapse in seemingly sinister behavior patterns the mice were not nice at peak population most mice spent every living second in the company of hundreds of other mice They gathered in the main square, waiting to be fed, and occasionally attacking each other.

Few females carried pregnancies to term, and the ones that did seem to simply forget about their babies. They move half their litter away from danger and forget the rest. Sometimes they drop and abandon a baby while they were carrying it. A few secluded spaces houses a population Calhoun called the Beautiful Ones, generally guarded by one male, the females, and few males inside the space did breed or fight or do anything but eat, groom, and sleep. When the population started declining, the beautiful ones were spared, from violence and death, but it completely lost touch with social behaviors, including having sex or caring for their young.

How did they parse out the beautiful mice from the non-beautiful mice? I don't know. So they hoarded. So, yeah. I would like to see a peer review on this study, man. Yeah. The beautiful mice. It sounds like somebody's interpretation of what would happen with human.

That's a sound like an actual study. Did the beautiful mice were they self-selected? Yes. I don't think that the humans picked them, right? They became just like one tribe of mice that established dominance. Yeah, so these ones, they basically, the males, the strongest males picked the beautiful females and then hoarded them up on the high level rat condos while the rest are at the bottom and they just fought to keep the other ones out and then let those ones just like riot amongst each other,

even though they're still being fed. Send me this to Eddie, bro. So I got a question, did the beautiful mice, the winning tribe, did they hoard the food? They were fed the same way the other ones were fed. They only ate as much as they needed. But this is this scenario had unlimited housing, unlimited food. So I feel like if they're in the scenario where food was finite, they probably hoard the food.

If this happened to humans, we would all just get super fat. Now, interpretations of Calhoun's work has changed. English Arkell explains that the habitats he created, so wait, another guy created, did the same experiments. The habitats

he created weren't really overcrowded, but that isolation enabled aggressive mice to stake out territory and isolate the beautiful ones. She writes, instead of a population problem, one could argue that universe 25 had a fair distribution a fair distribution problem so universe 25 is what she called her rat heaven huh so at the core of this is the same the nature is the nature of that particular animal is to uh i guess divide and congregate and and and develop a hierarchy of class resource horse Yeah. So this is what historian Edmund Ramsden said about Calhoun's work. Ultimately, rats may suffer from crowding. Human beings can cope. Calhoun's research was seen not only as

questionable, but also dangerous. Jonathan Friedman turned to studying actual people. They were just high school and university students, but definitely human. His work suggested a different interpretation. Moral decay could arise not from density, but from excessive social interaction. Not all of Calhoun's rats had gone berserk. Those who managed to control space led relatively normal lives. See, and that's the thing that where I feel like absolutely just, you know, differentiates us between rats or just the anything else in the animal kingdom. You know, aside from, I think there's a few, like the dolphins and orcas and stuff like that,

is the cultural aspect of a society that can be passed down. So right now our culture is literally to. join the workforce like the bell I could be wrong about this but I think the bell system for like schools was invented from factory lines that came from factory

if I'm not mistaken I could be wrong about that but if you go to school to get an education is to get a degree in order to have an entry point to a high paying job right like everything that we do is geared towards that that's a cultural thing

like it's our culture it's what's developed over time right and so I argue that if you develop a culture in which the premise or the prime directive of us and our existence is to nurture our culture

care for one another and it sounds super hippie and to like explore our world and our universe then the cohabitance of our culture will exude different behaviors like our behaviors right now are very indicative of the culture that we've crafted crime follows poverty

like there are you know very few it happens but it's very rare that people just kill just to kill like it happens but it's like a neurological thing like most killings and most murders are due to like territory things for resources and and a culture that's developed around that my take on it anyway orcas passed down cultures yep oh we have a team named the orcas now Seattle's Major League cricket team is named the Orcas Is that new?

Yeah, I think it's a brand new team Did they take our fucking We just They take our name No, it already came out But yeah The Orcas I might have to get an Orca's

Cricket uniform Is it about what's the colors? I think black and white Maybe some green for Seattle Okay Didn't we say The Pacific Northwest West would be a great place for...

Yeah, we lose. Yep. And we also did, we conveniently left out the fact that the Vancouver Canucks have an orca that's a main part of their logo. But they're not, they're not the Orcas. What are the Canuck? Canucks a Canadian.

Right? Yeah. You guys want to do some voicemails? Oh. One thing, last thing about the rats. So it turns out, uh, some of the rats would resort to cannibalism because they were bored of the food they were being

given. And a lot of... Switch up that diet. You will start eating motherfuckers. And they displayed sexual deviation. Only amongst the males. Homosexuality?

Yeah. Just got to spice up sex life every night. They're just like, we have so many chicks. It's like 18. I'm tired of these. beautiful women. Come here, bro.

Once you've seen enough holes, they all start to look the same. Voicemails? Let's do voicemails. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Getting to know yourself is a lifelong process. This is because we're always changing, always growing.

Therapy is about deepening yourself awareness and self-understanding to help you discover your best self. BetterHelp connects you with the licensed therapist who can take you on that journey. journey of self-discovery and it meets you where you are sometimes we become so busy self-care can be brushed to the side but therapy can be an effective way to give yourself time that you deserve to focus on you if you're ready to put yourself first if you're thinking of starting therapy you should give better help a try it's entirely online designed to be convenient flexible and suited

to your schedule just fill out a brief questionnaire get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge find more balanced with better help Visit betterhelp.com slash dose today. Get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash dose. Voice mails. Okay. Hi, my name is Tanner.

I'm from State College, Pennsylvania. And I was calling and I had a question for you guys. Have you guys ever given consideration to doing a international macro dosing episode or maybe you guys all go to Amsterdam and like, you know, Europe or even like something like Australia, have Billy tell you what's the most dangerous

spider and snakes. I just think if you guys did an international blog and record a couple episodes that might be sick. And if you did do that, where would you guys want to go? Good question. I've got one. I would love to see Billy go

to the Sentinelese Islands. I think it would be fantastic content. do a vlog they can't compete in our era do a vlog yeah you can you can whip uh you think you can whip one of them islanders bro no i i they definitely are i don't know crazy i'm not sure i i you like you take them spears out of their hands yeah but they're probably so dirty with a spear i thought you're gonna stop that dirty i was like damn no no no no i meant the dirty isn't good like so like i'm saying i'm saying one-on-one they got a weapon. Yeah, I mean, one-on-one? Now, God. Like, imagine you just walk off the boat and they just, like, 200, like 100 yards away, just nail you with a spear, like, like Achilles and Troy. And you're just like, like, I didn't even have a chance. Yeah. No. But one-on-one. They don't know Kung Fu. They don't know martial arts. I'm sure they have a martial art. I think they just, I think they're still on brute strength and aim with a spear. I don't know. I mean, with a spear. I'm sure they have an martial art. I think they just, I think they're still on brute strength and aim with a spear. I. I'm

I bet they're sick at throwing spears and archery. Do they have archery? I bet you they have some form of that. Yeah, they have archery. They've shot a bunch of arrows of people. Okay, yeah. I mean, I bet they're dirty at that. And they've like shot at planes, right?

Yeah, I feel like because they just start training from a young age with bows and arrows and spears, they might just skip the whole hand-to-hand combat thing. But they also might have like freakish strength or like super fast twitch muscles. then you just Big T, where would you want to go? Yeah, I mean, I don't believe this has been discussed, but if somebody else is paying for it, I'd like to maybe do a little tour,

maybe Rome, Venice, maybe Prague. That's fine. Not France, though. I'm not down with France. Yeah, just a little tour around Western Europe. It's funny because my answer for Big T was going to be France. Not France.

No France. I would love... Big T, would be such good content to just drop you. No, France. France is, uh, the people are the worst. The country is the wherever, ever, every, never been to France. And I, Lord Will and never will. The French countryside I can get down.

No, France. This is why you should go though, Big T. This is exactly why you should go. What is the, like, hold on. So you would never go to Paris. No, a dirty, horrible city, awful crime. No, and it's filled with French people. Absolutely not.

I didn't know you thought to strongly about the French Oh, hate the French They might The French people Might be a minority In Paris nowadays Oh God

I don't know But yeah I'm not planning on it Immigration blogs Lord willing In the Creek don't rise I will never end up in France Big T

I would love to see you On the streets of Paris Going to art museums Drinking wine I'm sure that's where I'm sure that's where We're putting the next Barstool office after Chicago

We're headed to We're headed to the streets of Paris, right after a quick stop in San Francisco. You would love the south of France, though, just beaches, some of those beautiful beaches in the world down there. That's not if they're in France, they're not. I'm going to London next month, so that's my first time going to Europe. So I'll have a bet.

I'll have a Europe review in a few. few weeks. Europe review after going to London, I like that. Although I guess they're not really Europe anymore. They're not in the EU, but they're still. Big T, is any of your hatred towards the French?

Is that rooted in the fact that they didn't have our backs in the Iraq war? No, I don't expect the French to have any. Do we need or want them in any war? Maybe the American Revolution, Big T, which spawned. Yes, when they were, when they had an actual military,

now it's just what is their military Macron getting up in front of a fucking thing is saying no no no we don't need the French Do you think Didn't we figure out that that was like the freedom fries

The French being cowards thing was all Like was that a thing post World War II Or was that totally just that The French didn't join us in Iraq So they started pushing that narrative That was 100% Iraq Because they didn't have our backs in the invasion of Iraq so we started calling them freedom fries um like the united

states senate i think stopped selling uh they stopped calling them french fries and they started calling them freedom fries there there was a bunch of stuff that was anti-french turns out they were right about that one pft but did that joke exist because we i grew up with that joke but did that exist before then no the freedom prize started i want to say 2002 not just freedom fries i mean like the french being cowards and losing oh yeah yeah no that's been around for a while Yes, French people being the worst Has a long history Well, a very

A very One guy who I met at a dock Used to say that the French Fight with their feet and fuck with their face And that's why you shouldn't like the French Got it What fuck does that even fight with their feet? Yeah, they like kick

Are they run? No, they kick Also, what do you mean you met a guy at a dock? It's the same guy It's the same guy there's a guy at the there's a guy at the doc I think fight with

fight with your feet doesn't mean kick I think that means run yeah true I always took it as like kicking his unbecoming of a man who tussles with his fists bare knuckle brawls

I don't know tussles with his fists you know like real men like fight the fistic up side like so this is how man's like with their fists

Put your dukes up So yeah I want to go to Rome Venice Maybe a little Other tour of Europe Just no France Okay

This means that you have to go to France At some point Not going I want to do If we do a trip I would love to do a Japan trip with you That would be fun of shit

I'm down I'm down I would eat a shitload of ramen I would eat nothing else Maybe sushi did switch it up But just rum it all day Fuck I want to get that I heard that they like take pictures

And tall people over there Like they like want to pose with you Yeah Tall and blonde Yeah you would stick out You'd stick out like as far as like so famous Yeah I'd pretend I'm Yokic I didn't see that

I didn't go with anybody tall and white So I didn't Yokish isn't blonde Yeah but I think he's tall enough to offset that I feel like you'd get away with it Like I'm Yokic I don't think you can get away with that

Oh, you saying you're Yukkish If I had a buzz cut? No I don't think so I could You're like 6'33 Do you think Japanese people like Can't see or something?

Like well they might get A little confused Because there's such a homogenous nation That I could see them thinking two white guys look the same What odd casual racism No it's not There's videos of guys pretending to be basketball players in

Japan and like everyone believes I want that in my meme folder No what odd I really like I really like the meme from our doesn't match of you got oh yeah that is the giff

bray you're wrong I haven't seen the movie same of the meme I haven't seen it but there was a guess that's like like Donnie was running around China pretending that he was Roger Federer he looks a little bit like him Yeah, he kind of does. In a lot of Billy's statements, there's like a kernel of truth.

I think that there is that aspect, like the trope in the United States is that people say, like, all people from Asia look like. In Asia, a lot of people think that all white people look like. Yeah. Yeah, I remember, I don't know, some like events get seared into your memory for no real reason, but there was a doctor during the O.J. Simpson trial. And he was an Asian guy. And they were asking him about whether or not. not he recollected meeting a certain person. And he was like, I don't know, all white people look like to me.

And everybody laughed in the audience. And I was like, oh, that's funny. That's crazy that this kind of goes both ways sometimes. But I think, yeah, in a homogenous culture, I think it's much more likely that you would get confused and be more. I don't know. I still think that Yokic is a bridge too far for you, Billy. You can pass.

The only reason I chose Yokic is because I saw this one video of this guy pretending to be Clay Thompson in a. Japan and it's like he looks nothing like Clay Thompson he's just wearing he walking around in the uniform yeah he's walking around the uniform you could pass as Duncan Robinson that no that that that's the funniest shit in the world to me is when people do that shit because that's not the first time I've seen that where people dress in the exact uniform like as a sports player and walk around and people are like taking pictures thinking that that's the sports player that's how stupid like people like it's the dumbest shit in the world

Look at the picture I sent you. Like, that guy looks nothing like Clay Thompson. I can see for somebody, like a casual, yeah, he's a light-skinned cat with a go-tee. Yeah, he could pass. I can see the resemblance, but. But if you walk around the street with a uniform, like you. So, Sinleys Islands from Billy, it's Japan from Aryan, and it's parents. Paris, France, for Big Tea.

What about you, Mad Dog? I think us as a collective, I think Amsterdam would be fun with the legality of it all. Big Tea and Amsterdam would be great. 100 subscribers. Slowly, slowly, quickly enough, man. Two more years, baby. Amsterdam because of, like, that. And then, like, I feel like we would also have fun on like a fun beach.

Like maybe, what if we all went to, like, Ibiza together? Abiza. Abiza. What is that? The Catalonian accent. Abiza. I don't even know what country that is in. Abiza is technically Spain. Spain?

Yeah, Abiza. I feel like that'd be kind of fun. I don't know, like either a beach or Amsterdam. I feel like Abiza is just, like, one of those places that you can't have fun unless you have, like, tons of money in a yacht. Well, no, in this case scenario, we have that. We have people that have tons of money here. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

You got a yacht guy. And you've got a yak guy. I don't know if he does transatlantic. We can find an Ibitha yak guy. I think we should go to Duluth. I also do. Duluth, Minnesota. Or to the gathering of the juggaloos.

That would also be sick. I was in Minnesota last weekend. I am a huge fan now. Juggalo's? Yeah, are you familiar with the juggaloos? Insane clown posse fans? We talked about them, I think. they do like a yearly meeting

called The Gathering of the Juggalo's I want to say it might be in Illinois somewhere out here in the Midwest outside Detroit I'm not sure they are from Detroit I know that but they do this big giant meetup every year and it just turns into a shit show

I think they like they stormed Teila Tequila's trailer one year when she was performing there Gathering the Juggalo's is in it's in a town called Cave and Rock right

Novi Michigan the first one was in Novi Michigan oh it's in several locations the the last one was in Springfield Indiana how many people

go to these things Vanilla ice performed I would guess maybe 10,000 what the fuck that's a little you got a little army ice

Oh yeah Ice Q performed. We should go. Yeah, we should go to one of those conventions and just with a whole bunch like M&M gear. Is that beef still alive? Yeah. Gwar. That's all I know them for is he was like super banging on them.

Shaggy was one of them, I think. Yeah. All right. McKinsey, where would you like to see us go? I, well, like personally, I would just say Ireland. Because I've always wanted to go there. Yeah. I've never been to Ireland.

If I'm going to go to pubs. Yeah, I was going to say, just go to, like, the oldest pubs in the world. You guys could go golfing, do some golf content. I annoy all the Irish people by saying, hey, my family's from here. Yeah, exactly. Get the fuck out. Yes, exactly. I haven't gone to Ireland just because all the Irish people I meet and try to say I'm Irish, they're always like, oh, where are you from?

Yeah. Ireland rocks. Yeah. Yeah, my middle name is actually. Like named after the county Claire Yeah, it's Claire with no eye I'm going to be over there for Donnie's wedding this summer Oh yeah

I hope they're going to He wants to like make it content So I hope they do Donnie wants to make his wedding content I think It's going to be great It's going to be a blast All right

Another voicemail This this gift that you sent is poetry. It's so funny. It's beautiful. You can see how much I care about you in this. I appreciate that. This is Wyatt from Maine.

Love the show. Billy, you're the man. Big T. Grown to love you. But my question is, because I just saw a video about a Tasmanian tiger, and I feel like this is right in Billy's Wheelhouse, but what is one extinct animal that you would want to bring back?

All right. Love the show. Mad Dog and Arient. Stay beautiful. Everyone else. Stay handsome. Love you guys. Bye.

I've thought about this many times. I'm shocking. Pullback. Realistically, you'd want to bring something. back that like wasn't dangerous but the cave bear the cave bear I want to bring back the cave bear

it is literally the probably caused so much generational trauma to humans like when we like get chased by monsters and our dreams it's definitely the cave bear and it's just a gigantic bear sounds rather dangerous yeah but like that that wouldn't be the best

choice from a Jurassic Park scenario got it so maybe just a beasel buffo which is just a gigantic frog how gigantic they used to eat like for lost rafters it is about the size of VW beetle and was a frog yes and what's this called a Beasel

Bufo I like that idea just because it would I like giant frog just keep it in a keep it it would probably be as dangerous to keep as a large alligator

crocodile definitely could eat a human hole though well I would go with either the dodo the dodo bird is just sick it's a cool looking bird looks pretty harmless

dodo is just stupid yeah well it's a cool looking dumb bird who doesn't want that I would bring back dodo's just to like hunt it the game preserve.

They seem like the funniest things to, like, just shoot with the 12 gauge. That's a classic human thing to say. I would bring back this animal that's been, that we made extinct just so I could kill more of it. Because they were probably fun to kill. That's why they killed all the way. That's why they're extinct. Yeah. Probably pretty easy to kill.

I think the correct answer is just Jurassic Park. Bring back the T-Rex. We need to get on that billionaires. Allosaurus is. Way cooler than a T-Rex. Well, you should have said Alessaurus. You already used your pick on the cave bear, idiot. Yeah, but the cave bear's cooler.

Well, this is my pick, so I'm taking the T-Rex. We're bringing back T-Rex. It's a little stumpy arms. It's fine. I'd bench more than it. What the... Is there something specific about the cave bear that's different than the regular bears? It's gigantic.

It's like a bigger bear? Yeah, it's probably the most apiece. ex-preditor of the mammalian time. Huh. Anybody else? Yeah. Gigantipithecus. Oh, true.

It's like the largest of the ape. It's our cousin. He's the largest, largest motherfucker ever to walk as the ape. They're like, what, like 10 feet tall? I'm sure like that 8 to 10 feet tall? Huge. Now, we have the modern day,

Grizzly Bear versus Garrette. who would win gigantopithecus or cave bear how big was a cave bear cave bear is about eight seven to eight feet tall at the shoulder so about the same size if it stood up on its high and legs no on its high and legs it would probably be like 20 feet tall 20 feet tall yeah What? Cain no bear 20 feet tall Cave bear standing At the shoulder

Like I'm saying at the shoulder When it's walking on all fours It's about seven to eight feet tall So standing up It would probably be No Cavebra had an overall body length of 8 feet to 11 feet

That's not including Anapithecus figure No no but that's not including that's snout to vent that doesn't count the legs what legs wouldn't factor in to the height

well yeah I guess the back legs yeah when it's standing on its back legs I'm probably it's probably polar bears are 11 feet when they stand up so I'm guessing conservatively this is 15 to 16 feet when standing up I don't know man

I got Jaganipithecus it's by submission yeah the gigantopithecus with jujitsu yeah best warrior of all time

anybody else sabertooth tiger and I want one at preds games in a cage in the tunnel where the opposing team comes into the arena

you got to walk by the penalty box is you just have to get into the cage with the smile and die yeah how one hanging right over

the visitors Penalty box It'd be awesome Specifically you got to pick Smilodon for Sabretooth Tiger For once I never thought I'd say this

I will trust your judgment Smilidon Yeah Smiladon's the biggest baddest sabertooth It's funny That you brought up LSU with Mike the Tiger That gives off Tim Biocca Batuka

vibes Where it's like this exotic animal And they just named him Mike Is there a reason? for that? It probably is. It's a great name. Maybe they did just name him Mike.

I don't know. All right. Anybody else? I like a mammoth. I'd like to have a mammoth back. I bet mammoth pups or whatever you'd call them would be cute as hell. Yeah. Yeah, I could see.

You know how people like go to Africa and have pictures of them like petting elephants? I'd like that with a mammoth. Were mammoths, we were mammoths violent? Yeah. No, I want it. You probably have ancestors that died hunting woolly mammoths. Whoa. Think about that.

They deserved it. I still want one. Fun fact real quick about Mike the Tiger. So Mike the Tiger was purchased by LSU because every LSU student gave $25 cents. They fundraise for Mike. they bought them for $750 from the Little Rock Zoo and it got brought onto campus 1936 and then

in the 1950s Tulane fans kidnapped Mike the Tiger before the game that's pretty awesome and they spray painted them green I was just fixing to say we need more old school college pranks because shit like that used to happen all the time

and now nobody does anything cool like that Security's too good. Wait, I am fully condoning somebody kidnapping a mask, and a whole human inside of the costume. Or like, kidnap that motherfucker. The Notre Dame leprechaun, just a dude, a short guy. Kidnap. Yeah.

But you see in Ann Arbor, where the fuck is that at Ann Arbor? South Bend. South Bend. First of all, do you see, put them in a truck. You're only allowed to kidnap them in costume. It's not funny if they're not out of costume. Was it, was it Kansas State who, had the mascot that was just the head

and then his regular arms and stuff. Yeah. That's crazy. That would be fire. So if I'm if I am somebody in the Big 12 I'm kidnapping a mascot of Dion's

mascot. Deion's mascot. The Buffalo Ralphie? I'm doing something like that. I'm spray paint and I'm doing something to the Buffalo to get that rivalry crack it. Pack 12. Because you you now have, is it packs of up? Okay. You now have to compete with selling

tickets and recruiting kids against Dion Sanders, you got to do something to stoke that fire. You know what I mean? You got to do something. Imagine Utah just comes out of the locker room with Ralphie the Buffalo after he goes missing. That's what we're awesome. That shit will get

so many people like into it. You know what I mean? Beyond giving a press conference after his first game where he's complaining about the fact that his mascot got stolen out of the locker room, Instead of remember at Jackson State when he was like somebody stole my wallet. You can't kidnap Bivo.

Bivo has the best security detail in Texas. Bivo will kill you. So, Belfy, people forget. But Bivo has shown signs of aggression recently. What's Bivo? The Longhorn at Texas. Tried to kill Uggah.

Really? Probably would have been a net positive, but. It's just, hey, we're talking about killing dogs. It's, it goes to show that specifically, Uggah. Just one. English, uh, English bulldogs have totally, like, the fact that Uggah wasn't trying to do what Bulldogs used to do to Bulls to Bevo is just, like, shows like how far that breed is

gone down. Like, England Bulldogs can't play in this era. Bulldogs can't play this. American Bulldogs could probably still play. But English bulldogs can't. Make America bulldogs great again. That's actually a good point, Billy. Like, if there's one animal that should be a fair fight,

it would be the bulldog against a bull. Yeah. Although I'm not sure that they were actually bred to deal with bulls. No, they were. It might just be a name. No, no, they were. They were supposed to back bulls into corners. Okay.

Well, yeah, Bevo should have stepped up to the occasion. When the lights were bright as he shrunk. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah, you just kidnap, you kidnap any short person from South Bend, and you're like, I've got the leprechaun. He's like, I don't, I don't even go to the university. I'm just five, too.

Or you come out. Ralphie or Bevo's missing. You just come out, run out with like a cow skull with the longhorns or a bison skull. You can happen and kill it. I mean, there's a, there's a bison skull. No, cow skull right behind McKenzie right now. Oh. Coming running out with that.

That'd be pretty cool. They killed. All right. We have any other voice mails? Yeah, we got one more. Hi, Macro Gessing. I'm a lady doctor, Alyssa, here from Chicago. I love hearing from you guys how excited you already moving here to the Midwest.

We are so happy to have you. I kind of have a two-part question about your move. So the question is, what are you most looking forward to when you guys come to Chicago? And then also, what is one thing that you think is going to be a little bit overrated? and this can apply mostly to like activities and things to do and then also to the Chicago food scene. Like I can't wait to see you guys. Welcome to the Midwest and stay handsome steak gorgeous.

I'm wearing my Wrigley shirt right now and PFT's in Chicago. I think the pizza is going to be overrated. I don't know. It is. I don't know. But I have a thing for New York pizza. Every time I go to New York, I get pizza from New York. And like I hate ordering pizza here in Texas because it's like,

it's just trash right it's just not good pizza you don't get good pizza like out there's the best pizza I don't have had I'm afraid I'm gonna go to New York and it's a deep this shit right well yes and no

okay talk to like that's the that's the touristy thing that people know but then they'll tell you in Chicago the like actual Chicago pizza is like really thin like thinner than New York yeah tavern style

and it's square and it's good okay I like that yeah okay I got some place Last time I was in Chicago, it was that style and had like a spicy sauce. It was very good.

The deep dish is a great meal to eat once or twice and then go take a nap for nine hours right afterwards. It feels like a brick in your stomach. I don't think I've ever had a deep dish. What about hot dogs? For some reason, I think Chicago and think hot dogs. Is that a thing? Yeah. Do you have Chicago style of hot dogs?

I love their dogs. And they get real mad if you put ketchup on it. So I'm going to start doing hot dog reviews where I just put a shitload of ketchup on it. I think the... The Mallort has not been great. I've been drinking a lot of Mallort recently. What is that?

Hell. It's hell in a bottle. It's, uh, I think it's made out of wormwood. And it's just, it does taste like... Warm wood or wormwood? Wormwood. It's... It tastes like if somebody puked up gasoline.

And battery acid. And is that native to Chicago? Yes. I think there's one company that makes it, and it's based out of Chicago, and it's become like a prank where people, the vast majority of shots of Mallort are ordered either as a dare or as a prank on somebody that doesn't know any better, that doesn't know what they're about to drink. Yeah, that's what happened to me. I think the gun violence is going to be overrated. I don't think it's as bad as everyone says. Okay.

I think they were talking about, like, hot dogs and stuff. think for like a week you should probably just get off the internet like just maybe like a week see what happens to your brain that was a joke I'm sorry that would we should do a Billy one week

no internet challenge internet cleanse I'm down with I am down with this you don't even have to do a week from today to Monday when we record next are you saying I have to go take a vacation

if that I'm not in liberty yes you I think you should, you should just, I don't know. You can't get on the internet, though. Aside from like daily tasks, GPS, you know, if you got an Uber somewhere, something like that. But no YouTube, no Reddit, no Instagram, no Twitter, 40. I would be unable to do my job.

Yeah, see, this is where Billy's going with. He has a point where he's kind of obligated to be online. I have to sift through a lot of trash to get. topics. To get better trash. To find the first discovered albino panda, I have to go through a lot of bad videos.

Billy goes dumpster diving through the internet and once a day pulls out like an old brass candle holder that he found. He's like, look, it's not even that rusty. He's like the little mermaid was a little hoarder. Oh, that reminds. have you seen the new mermaid i haven't is it woke well of course she's black but uh it's fucking horrible bro that's my take on it i've i know people that have seen it and think it's good

i could it was dog shit to me it was so bad it's like they kept elements but like they decided to add a song for Eric to replace Kissy. The worst Disney song I may have ever heard in my life. I was literally laughed. We had to start. I was with my, I don't even know what to call her, man. My really good friend. And we were sitting next to this couple.

I was laughing during the song. It was hard for me to contain myself of how horrible. it was. Maybe it's just my old pessimism and my bias kicking in because I loved the Little Mermaid, but it was just horrible, man. But I will say Melissa McCarthy killed that shit. She killed

Ursula. She killed that shit. But other than that, one and a half ass cheeks. Is I'm in a full butt. On the ass cheek scale, the more cheeks you get, it's worse?

No, it's better. so then the worst movie possible would be zero ass cheeks no ass cheeks got it so the more ass something is the better it is

I should switch that yeah I should switch that yeah if it's booty no ass cheeks it's good three and a half ass cheeks out of five out of five ass cheeks wait but five asses total

five oh five so it's out of ten So it's 10 cheeks. I have no clue where we're even out right now. Okay, it's going to be 10 cheeks total, and I rate this one, 7 and a half ass cheeks. Meaning it's 75% as bad as it possibly could be. The inverse of that, which we're going to be. The scale keeps getting more complicated because now you've made three and a quarter asses.

Big, big three and a quarter asses. That's a cool. Yeah. Seven. Because you got, think about it, Aaron, you got,

okay, seven ass cheeks. No, I said seven and a half ass cheeks. Yeah. Yeah, I know. All right, so think about it.

Six is one ass. Wait, wait, Aaron. Wait, six ass cheeks. Wait, wait,

wait, six ass cheeks would be how many asses? Three. Three ass. Yes. So then we add another ass cheek to get to seven.

So now you've got three asses and then one cheek. half a cheek there's two cheeks per ass yeah I know and then I'm gonna add the next on your fourth ass you have one and a half cheeks so you have 3.75

total asses no y'all is doing way too much it's six asses and a half wait no that would be yeah yeah we got it right so it'd have to be a half okay no it can be whatever you want this is your made up nonsensical system that's facts

That's facts. It's seven and a half ass cheeks. Okay. Have you almost splice it, dog? Half ass scored. Nice one, Billy. Actually, wouldn't the perfect rating be one ass? It would be two ass cheeks because, like, one, an ass is nice.

No, but you want to slap them. Okay, so not good asses. These are gross asses. No. The more ass cheeks, because the premise of it is, the movie was cheeks it was ass you know okay and so the least amount of cheeks is is the is the better quality of a good movie would be zero cheeks zero cheeks man we get that shit zero cheeks it was by avatar zero fucking cheeks bro all right uh so what are you guys

excited about for chic yeah I am excited for my apartment it's a sick apartment brand new building Sick view Yeah, it's a cool apartment I finally have like windows And An actual bedroom And like a pool and stuff like that So that's cool

Overrated I've been to Chicago twice Each for 24 hours Um So I haven't done a lot That beam thing seems overrated That seems kind of um Oh, that's art

Yeah Most public art things are dog shit Yeah, that's your taxpayer dollars at work I don't know You're arguing for me there And then food I don't know Was the question food that you think will be good

Or overrated Didn't really specify Good I can say good We can be positive here I don't know yeah It seems it seems like a fine food scene Very good food

I've had a lot of good food out here You're good Mexican food, too. One of the best Mexican food cities in the country. I am thinking that the winter is going to suck. The winter is going to be 10 full-ass cheeks out here. It's going to be bad. It's going to be like people should not live in this type of cold. And yet the whole city somehow agrees to do it.

I don't like that. I'm getting spoiled right now because the weather's awesome. I've been grilling on the roof just about every night. I've been, I've played some golf, been outdoors a lot. It seems incredible. But I just know there's a sense of impending doom where six months from now, I'm going to be just completely miserable outside. Do you have a garage?

Yeah. So you don't even have to go outside. Well, you do have to go outside. You have to exist outside of the city. No, I mean, think about it. If you wanted to, you go from your house to your garage, your garage to the office. The new office is a parking lot, though, so you have to go outside to get to inside. It's still going to be cold, and the cold sucks.

Your reserve spot will probably be very close to the door. Right, exactly. It's going to, the cold weather is going to be tough. It's going to be like negative 10 degrees. That five seconds from the car to the door will be pretty tough. Yeah. There's also. My mom was married to my stepdad, obviously, and he from Chicago.

So they always go up there. And she was like, when I told her the office was moving in Chicago, she was like, oh, you don't hate that. It's cold as shit. That's what she said. Yeah. Yeah. There's battles over shoveling snow on the sidewalk, or not the sidewalk, but on the street for your parking spot. People get very territorial about their parking spots.

So they'll get out there early, start shoveling, put up traffic cones. They're like, this is where I'm parking. People get in a fight over that all the time out here. There's actually laws in place, I think, where if you shovel a spot, it, it, it, becomes yours, which I agree with that. If you put the work in, but people start getting up early in the morning, start shoveling, making sure they got their

territory marked out. It's going to be a whole culture. Winter culture in Chicago is going to be very interesting. Is it Thomas Payne? One of those philosophers. Work equals ownership. If you work on a thing, you own it.

All right. Good episode, guys. I give this episode three ass cheeks I like that the cheeks like I think two I give it two because that's a suitable amount So one ass

Yep With that two cheeks Two cheeks All right we will see you guys Next Tuesday for nano dosing Excited about that I actually should be back in studio on Monday To record

To record that So we'll have everybody Minus area in the studio be on the lookout for the dozen. When did your guys episode air? Last night. Last night. Any wrap up thoughts on how the tournament went for you guys?

Poorly. Yeah. Yeah, we lost. But, you know, it was my first, you know, year. I was a rookie. I didn't have a good rookie year. But if you follow my career trajectory, I have a good rookie year. And then the next year, I led the League of Russian.

So we're going to be getting a bag soon. I'm going to honk it down. That's facts. I'm a honk it down. I'm going to get in my trivia bag and we're going to dominate this shit next year because I'm a minute now. I'm in it to win it. And I want a rematch with that motherfucker.

What's his name? Kirk. Kirk. He loves you, Aaron. Yeah, I mean, because he understands, you know what I'm saying? He was talking long shit and I couldn't say nothing back. I did. Because I was ass at the game.

You know what I'm saying? So I just had to sit there and take this nigga talking shit to me, which I hate. But next year, I want to, I want. want that championship and I'm going for that shit I'm going to fuck we plan for that shit because we got the two we got the two best people in the league

I think this nigga Big T's sports prowess is unreal not the other day like pop culture happens brother Mad Dog's pop culture shit is unreal right

I've had nothing but vibes and I'm gonna pick this shit up next year I think some of their topics it's like some of the there's like a weird choose TV shows thing I think you guys got screwed I think you guys played excellent

I think your teamwork I watched it live your teamwork was amazing the trust you had in each other like mad dog said the man and everyone was like but the chorus is I'm the man but like mad dog

everyone was like no let her take it and she hit her free throws yeah she hit her free those it's facts and we had a black celebrity mashup yeah that helped out tremendously

thank you Jeff Dilo Yeah. I'll defend my teammates to the end of time. I'll stand up for my boys. 100. And sometimes that comes at a cost, but I'll stand up for my guys. Leagues on notice. Ligs on notice. Yeah, you were part of the other team. You're the other them. You're the them. I am the them. So we will see you guys next week on nanodosing on Tuesday, macro dosing on Thursday. And yeah, love you guys.

Hmm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Oh. Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Thank you.