Macrodosing: Arian Foster and PFT Commenter - The Ocean
Episode Date: March 23, 2021On today's episode of Macrodosing, you'll hear all about the ocean and what lies beneath. Are there aliens down there? Is Atlantis real? Only one way to find out. Enjoy the show!!! 4:00 Arian and Big... T hate the ocean 5:00 What would someone like about the ocean, Big T has seen a shark 9:00 Sharks vs deer 10:15 You can enjoy the beach without the ocean 11:30 The post-beach shower 14:30 Antibiotics 16:30 What STDs everybody has had 18:20 Billy got scabies working in drainage 20:00 Arian and Big T dapped up again and PFT has it on film 22:00 We’ve only explored 7% of the ocean 25:45 Is Atlantis real? 27:00 Mermaids 28:00 What fish would you fuck if you had to fuck one? 30:00 Why have we not explored the ocean like we have space? 34:00 Just how deep is the ocean? 36:30 Arian has an issue with the term “killer whale” 39:30 Billy tried to do the Navy SEAL swimming test 45:00 Octopuses are insanely intelligent 51:00 Fucking for pleasure 55:50 Octopus actions 59:00 Dying while banging 1:01:00 Norwals 1:06:00 How much does the ocean weigh 1:12:00 Big RedYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/macrodosing
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, macrodosing listeners.
You can find us every Tuesday and Thursday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon music.
Do you guys know how deep the ocean is?
Well, Billy, we'll get into it.
That's a great intro.
Avery, use that as the start of the show.
I will.
Today, this is macro dosing.
Welcome back.
This is episode number four.
I say five.
We made it's four?
Oh, well, there's a secret episode.
Secret episode.
We don't want to tell him.
We haven't let out.
That's the one where we really get into this shit.
But, yeah, we're back.
Very excited about it.
We got Arian in studio today.
Arian is up in New York.
We're trying to convince him to do this trip at least once a month where he comes up here so we can record him personally.
Annually is yearly.
What is monthly call it?
Monthly.
Yeah, I think he nailed it.
There's no cool word for a month.
Uh, siminally, what, uh, periods.
Exactly.
Lunarly.
Lunarly.
Yeah.
In one, every cycle of a full moon cycle, you need to make the trip.
Lunar.
Lunarly.
Every time Aaron comes up here, Billy gets his period.
And they, they link up like sorority sisters.
Howling at the moon.
We also got Coley.
Coley's joining us on Zoom right now.
Coley, how are you doing?
You don't want me to come once a month?
I want you to come all.
I want to make you come every day, Coler.
Can you?
I don't have enough time for that.
Yeah, your dad.
Daily comes?
Come on.
Yeah.
In this economy?
But we, no, Colony.
We want you to get.
Lunar orgasms.
We want you to get in the office as much as you can make it here.
I think it's better if we're all in the same room together.
But it's a pleasure to have you.
And obviously, we got Big T over here.
Big T is, uh, big T's going to be helping us out with an ad.
We're out at the top.
This podcast is actually sponsored.
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Macrodosing, actually sponsored.
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So a lot of people listen to this podcast and they like to, a lot of deep thinkers out there.
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sponsoring the show. Off the top, before we get into the ocean, and there's a lot of stuff to get
into in the ocean. There's more stuff that we can actually get into in the ocean. Of course. Yeah,
like, we only have like an hour and a half to do this. But it's, uh, it's actually like really
fascinating. When somebody just brought up the ocean as a potential topic for one of these
episodes, it's a little different from some of the ones we've done in the past, but like the ocean,
man, whoa. Whoa. It's not, it's not okay. It's not. The ocean is fucked up. So it's cool for,
for just as a preference. Me and Big T don't disagree. I mean, we don't agree on a lot of
things right politically socially what you will but the ocean we that's my guy you know i think
you and i have we've had some very interesting conversations in the short time we've known each
other i think if you and i agree this strongly on anything it's like it's a set in stone fact
it's possible that we can be friends in the outside world yeah absolutely i don't fuck with the ocean
he don't fuck with not even a little bit but we got billy ocean here billy loves the ocean i love the
Billy, I need a stone coal, hard fact.
Fuck with me.
The ocean covers 71% of the Earth's surface.
That's right.
And then 29% is covered by Smoot.
That's what Fred Smoot used to say back in the day.
Or Dion.
Or Dion.
Dion probably said it.
And then Smoot was like, Smoot thought that he invented it.
He jacked it.
Coley, what are your thoughts on the ocean?
I'm not a big fan.
All right.
This is going to be contingent.
We and Billy or Team Ocean.
That's fine.
We'll take on the world.
You fuck with the ocean.
I love the ocean.
Wow.
And we can get into the second.
You're salty, motherfucker.
We can get into this in a second?
Yeah.
I was just going to say, we're going to have a lot of facts and different stories later on.
I just want to start with like, why, what do you love about the ocean?
Because to me, I like that.
What you don't like, what you do like, what I don't like, what you do like, because you are dressed like the ocean right now.
So to me, the ocean doesn't seem to offer many positives, and it does offer a plethora of negatives.
Agreed.
You step into the ocean, and there is a real choice.
chance that you step on something that could bite your foot off 1,000%
define real chance because I've been in the ocean many times and I
currently have both feet I've seen I've seen a shark I have seen a shark in
Daytona Beach Florida saw it like swimming 10 feet off the shore okay seen a shark
I saw both feet he's like I saw a shark once yeah that's his that's why
the ocean's up yeah absolutely I think that's perfectly valid to be that that should be
I stopped fucking with the ocean long before that.
Yeah.
That was, I mean, that should be enough validation for anybody.
You see one shark.
You shouldn't get in the ocean again.
Okay.
Counterpoint.
The ocean has waves, which are fun to play in.
Okay.
Wave pool, water park.
Wave pool.
Oh, yeah.
10 times bigger, way cooler.
Big T's out here making a public health argument against the ocean,
but he's saying,
tell you what, go hang out in a wave pool with 500 other people that are all peeing on each other.
I've been in a way of walls that you get tossed.
You're in a sterile.
Dozens of times.
urine is sterile.
I'm going to throw that out there.
Go ahead, fam.
Yeah, Coley.
Comets.
About urine or the other sharks?
I got sharks pulled up right here, PFT.
The all, pretty much all shark attacks happen between six to ten feet of like leaving the shore,
which is where you're hanging out more than likely.
So you're in prime shark attacks.
Wait, wait, wait.
Those aren't the bit like the, like the back.
bad ones. That's like little nips from hammerhead sharks.
Sam shark. Listen, I'll get bit by a hammerhead
sharks. Imagine having a tooth on you from a shark
talking about nips, fan. What do you're talking about?
Let's go get you, man. Let's set up. Let's set the precedent.
Hold on. Hold on. Before we start this whole ocean shit,
we don't belong in the water, though. That's a great point. We are
land dwelling mammals. Can we all agree on that?
Yes. Imagine you at the taco shop and a shark come up,
like, what's up, family?
And you're like, why are you here?
And you'd be like, I'm gonna tackle.
No, he don't belong there.
We don't belong there.
And it's not a nipple.
He's trying to eat you.
No, Hammerhead sharks only eat like mullocks and small like shellfish.
They don't have big mouths.
Like actually like great white sharks.
Yeah, 100%.
If you're surfing in white sharks, you hear that big teeth.
But Billy, when it comes to a hammerhead, I don't think you, that's the wrong shark that you could have picked.
But that's the one.
Because it's, yeah, it doesn't kill people, but it's the most ferocious looking of the sharks.
And it's like, that's, I would rather get bit by a bigger shark, like a meiko or a bull shark than a hammerhead because that shit's scary.
Like the fucking hammerhead shark.
There's no shark that is appealing for me to get bit by.
No, I mean, obviously, I don't want to get bit by a shark.
If I had to be bit by a shark, I choose a hammerhead.
Because it went 100%.
What the fuck?
Why are y'all choosing one shark?
I choose a whale shark.
Just gum you up real good.
Uh, though, yeah, whale sharks are cute.
They're cute.
They're cute.
Very cute.
I'm out of your mind.
But, I'm going to drink this.
Okay.
So, so here's the thing.
Um, the ocean, yes, there's a small, small danger of shark attack.
He said small.
It's a very small danger.
Like, hardly anybody dies from sharks.
The media loves to talk about it.
Every summer since 1975 has been the summer of the shark.
Every year.
Once they realized that you could call something, this bullshit, the summer of a shark and
scare people and make people watch TVs and buy newspapers. They started just hammering that
point home. Shark attacks, the danger posed by sharks is minimal at best. And also, I'm including
the beach in my entire summary of why I like the ocean. The beach is awesome. I love laying out
on the sand. I love the beach is trash. I love putting a bumper sticker on my car from a beach
that I visit once a year and act like I pretty much live there. 30A. OBX. Yeah. 30A is the big one.
I guess Outer Banks, like in Virginia.
Mile post zero.
I got to do my counterpoint.
I got you, Aaron.
Hold on you want this number?
Give me the number.
The person's chance of getting attacked by a shark is one in 11.5 million.
That's enough for me not to get in.
A person's chance of getting killed by a shark is less than one in 264.1 million.
The shark bites have the lowest fatality rate with around 4% of those bitten dying.
You're more likely going to die from a deer.
I want to touch on something that you said.
though you were like give me the deer stance oh billy ocean
yeah he's right no watch out for deers just give me the facts
if billy ocean right he right i just need it i just need him out years will
i didn't hear him out yeah deer's will fuck you're through the windshield yeah while you're driving
well he looks at that i just telling me more niggas die from dears than sharks yes yep okay
i'm willing to concede that i just need the facts every i need that fact you you said that
how much you love the beach right you're like all the beach is awesome my beach is trash dog well
No, I'm going to disagree with the air.
The beach is cool, but you can go.
You can enjoy everything about the beach and never touch the ocean.
I said this on the last show.
I went with my family this summer to Clearwater.
Enjoyed the hell out of it.
Awesome week.
Go to seafood, all that.
Enjoy the beach town, the salty air.
Whole deal.
Never touched the ocean.
I think I'm anti-water.
Pounder to the beach.
Talk to me.
It ruined Robert Edwards' career when he twisted his knee up at the Pro Bowl out in Hawaii.
Fuck the beach.
Who is Robert Edwards?
He was running back out of Georgia.
he was Patriots rookie he was a monster he was one of the best one year what year this was like right
after Curtis Martin so like 98 around then oh I was uh I was still on welfare so yeah pretty good
yeah Billy was still a sperm yeah it was Billy Ocean was still swimming in a net sec yeah
so I all right we're not going to agree on whether or not we like the ocean I will can see the
point that like the best part about the beach is not in my time it's ocean a ocean a jane
Jason, it's being in the beach towns.
It's being on the beach.
It's getting sun and relaxing.
Here me with this, though.
Tell me that you enjoy when subsequently your beach day is done.
Mm-hmm.
And you have to get in the shower.
And you've got all the sand and the salt and the, that shit is the most annoying shit in the world.
I actually really enjoy the post-beach shower.
That's provided, provided.
What?
Listen, if it's an outdoor shower, that's what's the best about beach houses.
You get one of those outdoor showers that's, like, closed in.
I think it's a cultural thing.
You look up at the sky and it's fine.
A thousand percent.
Yeah, you don't have to worry about getting like fully sandless
because you're just going to go out to a barcode like rocking reefs or something later on that night
and listen to a acoustic cover band.
Sand all your balls.
Sand in the crack is a tough one.
I don't have a counterargument to that.
I don't enjoy sand in the crack, but it's a cost of doing business if you're going to live the beach lifestyle.
Loshing sand off your feet with a high-powered hose is fun.
I enjoy that.
That's rich people beaches where they got high-powered water faucets.
But you know what?
All life came from the ocean.
That's true.
Allegedly, if you are a fundamentalist Christian.
No, no, no, no.
No, all life, like evolution.
So this is, it's fascinating.
I believe in evolution.
Yeah.
Big T might not.
No, but all life came from the ocean.
I agree.
I'm saying if you're a fundamentalist Christian, you do not agree with that.
So, Arian, I'll give you these numbers.
according to the average annual deaths by animals in the United States
you are 120 times more likely to die by a deer
58 more times likely to die by a B
28 times more likely to die by a dog
20 times more likely to die by a cow
there are more black widow spider deaths
in the United States annually than a shark death
Well everybody let me let me tell you
that's fair
I don't fuck with oceans I don't fuck with dogs
I don't fuck with spiders
I don't fuck with dears
I don't fuck with nothing shit you mentioned
So I'll be straight
Yeah I was actually gonna say
I think this speaks
Like I think the ocean thing
Is just part of my person
I hate I'm terrified of bees
spiders
We had a
One year when I was
When I lived in Tennessee
We had there was a brown recluse
Like outbreak
And we set these glue traps
In our house
And you find like three of them
Well that's like one of the like
Craziest ones
When you find the projects though
It's like you don't know
the name of the shit
that you're looking at
you're just like
yo that fucking thing
is not supposed to be here
I'm kind of down
with dangerous animals
personally
Billy lives on the edge
I got bit by a bunch
of brown recluse spiders one time
how was that
it sucked it sucked
I got bit on like my chest
on my arm
on my head
so my dad one time
he was like
I can't wait for this documentary
this is a TFC documentary
can be cracking
I mean this is a stupid story
my dad was like hey
we don't have any
firewood whatsoever for our house and I was like dad we live like there's a there's a
there's a Walmart that's like 10 minute drive I'll go buy you some and he instead had a bunch of
wood dropped off at her house he rented a wood splitter and then he made me just chop up all the logs
for the fireplace that's where brown recluse spiders hang out turns out I got bit by a bunch of
them and then I just had to take antibodies my senior year in college had to take like a bunch
of antibiotics to clear up all the bites that I had on my body for like I don't know two
Weeks sucked.
It was not fun.
Don't recommend it to anybody.
A fun tidbit about antibiotics.
We are taking them so much that they are anticipating a super bug.
Yep.
That Billy Ocean said, hold on, Cass.
God, I didn't even get to finish my sentence, family.
They are anticipating a super bug that transcends all of our antibiotics because we take them so much.
So all the people that were like
COVID came out of the COVID isn't real
COVID will do fuck all that
There's something that's probably going to come
bigger than that because we take antibiotics so much
Yeah
So they tell you also like
Finish your antibiotics when you ever get put on them
And I always thought like
Whenever whatever I have is done
Then I stop taking them
But you have to finish the entire dose to kill everything
That's inside you
Because if you stop taking the medicine
the small amounts of whatever you have that's left in your body
are going to be like we know how to beat the antibiotic now we will have given their
the gameplay it's like it's tough to beat bill belichick twice in year right coli that's exactly
what happens inside your body when you don't take your full course of antibiotics but billy
what are we going to say so i had to share this there's a super gonorrhea that's happened
because in colleges they prescribe the antibiotics so much billy yeah well you fucking no this is
And if they actually named the strain after Charleston because of all the colleges.
In Charleston, yeah.
Because it's been, they were just, it was such a huge.
Not going down south.
No, fuck, bro.
Yeah.
So like, um, too much anti-biotics being prescribed by school.
Yeah.
Are you comfortable with sharing the SDD that you have acquired over the years?
I think, I think I'm clean.
Zero.
You've never had one at SDD.
I don't think so.
Amazing.
What about your big T?
Zero as far as I.
As far as I'm aware.
So I've had two.
Mm-hmm.
Go off.
They went away.
I'm good.
I'm clean now, ladies.
My first one was gonorrhea.
It was, it was, it was terrifying because I didn't know what's going on.
I peeved blood.
Mm-hmm.
It was weird as shit.
And I went to the doctor and he was like, oh, you got Ghana read.
I was like, back then it was a seven-day pill.
Like, you took a pill every day and seven days is gone.
It was a dude.
When I was in college, I got cross.
Crabbs, bro.
Ooh.
Okay, so here's the interesting thing about crabs.
Ocean.
Crab.
We're going to have a segue in a second.
The interesting thing about crabs is, like, you think it's like, oh, it's just like a colloquial term that they use.
No, you can see the motherfuckers.
Like, they're actually crabs.
And it fucked me up because the girl I got it from, I know exactly who I got it from.
I won't say her name.
But she was gorgeous.
She was beautiful.
Was it worth it?
Yes.
Okay.
One time I got
because it goes away
Like they give you the cream
It goes away in like a day or two
Like we get money
Like so I'm currently SDD free
Good
But
But if you
If you find yourself in a situation
Where you have an SDD
I don't think SDD shaming is okay
No it happens
It happens, bro
Like I didn't want crabs
I had a condomone
I did safe sex
I wasn't out here reckless
Yep
it is what it is it is
I'm glad that we're getting rid of the same
yeah billy also
we got to raise awareness for scabies
I got scabies one summer
working drainage
and I was digging it
digging it you skate
I got rid of the scabes
but you get them in the woods
I didn't know man a big hole
no but no one knows
and then scabies like some people have them for 20 years
and have no idea
Billy I'm gonna I'm gonna
amplify your point by asking
I don't know what scape
You guys gave me Zoom?
No, I don't know what.
He's saying we need to raise awareness.
We do because I don't know what that is.
They're mites.
They bite your ankles.
They got termites on his balls.
Look, I got scars from him.
You still got it.
No, I don't think.
You'll put me by Billy, bro.
There's scars.
It's not like an old.
Billy Scarby.
What the fuck?
What?
No, that's scurvy.
That's scurvy.
Yeah, that's a lot.
But we probably should get some orange juice, guys.
We need some vitamin C on you, care.
Hey, put your arm on the other side of the mic, fan.
Dude, you, I like it.
I like it.
We got the yin and the yang over here.
We got Arian essentially had scabies of the balls.
I didn't.
And then Billy had scabies of his hand.
I was 19.
Did you jerk Aaron off?
Is that how you got?
34.
No, it's over.
I'm 34.
If you get little red dots on your wrists and ankles, check them out.
Get rid of scabies.
Thank you, Billy.
You know what?
I can't believe I'd have you up.
If you saw me itching, you just itched.
No, but that's like people.
What the fuck are you wearing, dog?
Listen, Billy got on some.
Like North Carolina blue pants with a yellow stripe down the middle.
We got the Yatterzone, which are Timberlands, green socks, a red shirt, and a one yellow sock, too.
I think he's gone.
He got a polo, like a fish pattern.
It looked like a Mario level in 1998.
I think you look great feeling.
Thank you.
I think you look.
Wow.
Real quick.
All cap.
Real quick.
Ariel said, I can't believe I dapped you up.
How was we dapped up again today?
You did that shit.
How was it?
You got it on film.
I knew I was going to get something really good or really bad
No middle ground whatsoever
And I knew I knew
Because I know Big T a little bit
That he's been thinking about this all week
He's been thinking about the last handshake that he gave you
And like he's been sweating
He's been waking up at night
Thinking about like how I'm gonna
He's probably practiced on himself
So you want to know some shit
Aryan and I left at the same time
And it happened again
At downstairs I fucked it up again
He went in for like
like a handshake and I went for a fist bump.
And I was like, this is literally not happening.
But I coach you.
I said, listen, fam, I pulled you aside and I feel like all my black brothers out there.
If you got white friends, coach him up.
Coach him up.
Say, listen, listen, this is how you do it.
If you go here, this is the angle you want to take.
Don't be afraid.
This is what it is.
That's how we go about.
And I feel you, bro, you capitalize off the situation.
Proud of you, I appreciate that.
I thought it was a pretty good one.
I've got two Republican friends.
You're one of them.
I love, I, I appreciate the hell out of that.
Woo, woo, fam.
He rose to the moment.
Yeah, we'll put that, we'll put that up as a social clip.
So if you guys are listening to this.
I mean, you got the footage.
I got the video and the smile on his face.
It wasn't so much a smile right after he knew he actually, he just, like, looked at the camera.
He was like, well, I turned, I didn't know he was filming.
I didn't know he was filming and I turned.
I saw he had his phone just like this.
Yeah.
And you nailed it.
All right.
Let's, let's jump into the ocean.
Let's, let's do it.
We dance around a little bit, but there's some fascinating shit going on under the sea.
And Billy did a great job putting together a bunch of sheets for us here that we can kind of discuss a little bit of.
Billy, you're so diligent.
Yeah.
And I just want to say, I appreciate you, bro.
Thank you.
All right.
Enough of you, go ahead.
All right.
So, Billy, let's let Billy start.
Billy, I want you to start off with what you think is the most fascinating part of the ocean.
Well, to sort of introduce the topic.
We've only explored 7% of the ocean.
ocean we've done way more exploration on the moon and we know honestly more about our solar system
than we do about the ocean from a macro level and macro dosing yeah in the the ocean's deepest known
depth is 3,600 feet deep which is seven miles so the deepest part of the ocean is in the
marionette trench in the pacific great band it is can anybody answer this can you answer this can you
Answer, why we name different parts of the water different names.
I think, I think that's the name of the actual, like, ditch that's out there.
It's not the water that's in the ditch.
I'm talking about, like, okay, no.
I know the Marianna Trench, right?
That's the deepest part of the ocean.
I'm talking about Pacific, Atlantic, Indian.
Like, why do we, why do we, how and why do we differentiate the oceans?
Like, what line do we draw?
Oh, is the currents.
I actually took oceanography.
There you go.
Fucking Billy Ocean.
There we go.
Talk to me, Billy.
No, so the Atlantic Ocean is named after Atlantis, because that's where the ancient Greeks and the ancient civilizations thought of Atlanta was, yes.
But also the, here on this.
Greece is white people.
What about Libya?
Turkish people.
Anyway, and then the Mediterranean Ocean is.
It's a sea.
Is a sea, actually.
Yeah.
Oh, uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
What'd you get an ocean, obviously?
No.
You might have got a sea.
True, true.
I'll just think, no, but C plus.
Indian Ocean.
was named after the indies which was they which they thought you know when they went west
that they ended up in india but it sounds like bullshit Columbus thought that he was in india when he
went west Columbus was the asshole he was an idiot he thought he was in india would you think that like
back in the day when they just if you were born in spain in the year i don't know 1100 1200
you only had the one ocean there was like one body of like the big body water what's the
point in naming that ocean like you're almost given away that you know that there will be
another one that you'll have to name down the line like i would just call it the ocean if i was in
spain well like naval navigation we take for granted nowadays but like they need to know everything
because of currents because of depths of the ocean so there's a big difference between you know
the atlantic and the mediterranean even visually so you know the first step for human
Like traversing the ocean was a huge step for having mankind connected all for the first time ever.
Yeah.
So we've explored 7% of the ocean, the top 7% it sounds like for the most part, right?
And then seven miles deep at the deepest point.
That's about that's about the exact same height as Mount Everest.
That's a big time, whoa.
Is Atlantis like, is it real?
Because I feel like every two years somebody's like we may have discovered Atlanta.
So this is what I put together.
There are several underwater structures called unidentified submerged objects, as opposed to flying objects.
Before you get into the crux of it, do you believe Atlantis is a real city and a structure?
It's a mythical foreign place that was talked about by several philosophers.
Right. But you don't think so.
Well, was there a civilization that existed on a piece of land that was then submerged in water because of, you know, earthquake activity or whatnot?
maybe sure that's not what I'm talking about I'm talking about an actual city
underground where people lived and congregated underwater underwater yeah
I don't think any human not a human city I know I think I'm with Billy on
this one I don't think that would be lit though like I would go there super yeah
so I mean what we're getting to is the bigger question big T hold on let me get
you feel like that yeah no I'm out on that bet I mean you're a Jesus guy so
Alright, so the bigger question that we're getting to is, was there or was there not mermaids?
You want to just jump right into mermaids?
We are in the ocean.
No, okay.
So here's my...
Because it's a big deal.
I've thought about this.
I've thought about mermaids before because mermaids, they're one of those things that they get talked about a lot.
Like, every seafaring culture has their own story about mermaids.
Just kind of like every culture has their own story about a flood that happened.
It's like something that's common that every...
Everybody talks about.
Mermaids, I'm 100% sure, are just a product of every culture, having people on a boat that stay on a boat for too long and get too horny.
Yes.
And they're like, at this point, I would fuck a fish.
And then they start imagining like, yo, fish, we just caught.
What if that fish had tits?
And then their minds just go to that place.
And they're like, you know what?
I'm going to write a story about this fish and it's and was hot.
I would fuck a manateeaties.
That's what they said.
I would fucking mandate it's a show
it essentially becomes like a how many beers question
okay if you was the fuck of fish which fish which fuck no easy uh the the dolphin
i would fuck a orca yeah big tea
fucking dolphin was a good call
you know none of these things are fish i'm trying to think of something
the ark is not even the fucking we both went for we thought blowhole yeah yeah you
look at the hole let me rephrase it if you was the fuck a
an actual fish
ocean dwelling
specimen
I think I think
I mean you're describing
my biggest fear
sex
butt woman
that was unnecessary
no I would
I can't give it to a
Dolphica
I would fuck
a killer whale
That sounds like a great pick
Orcas are majestic
Orcas are a great white shark
Just for
Moon jelly
Too aggressive
Billy just
What is
Billy just was like the fleshlight of the sea
Exactly
What about you Coley
What's that fish
With like the light bulb on its head
Oh hang on I've got you
I've got you
That's that Nemo jump
Because that's the
That's the angler fish
So the angler
The angler fish is
It's incredible to me
Because like a lot of the stuff
When you really start learning
About the deep deep sea
And the animals
They live there
The fish that live there
it's just there are aliens that live down there it's things that you would never expect to see
anywhere else so this angler fish it's got a light that hangs from a stem on its head and it's
so dark down in the ocean at those depths that it acts as bait for another fish to come up and
try to eat the light or to investigate the light at least and then the fish just straight up
merks it so like you think that you're seeing heaven if you're a fish you've never seen
light before you're probably like hypnotized by it the next thing you know you're just getting
chomped down by a fish.
And they do, like, everything at that level
does look like an alien to it.
It's like capitalism.
Same shit. Same concept. Yeah, you just
you think you're having a good meat. You just lick and you're
eating all that. Yom. Bam.
Rent, dude, fam. Dead broke.
Anyway.
So, yeah.
The, wait, we were talking about fish that
we fuck. Which fish?
What'd you fuck? I'm an orca.
Okay, so.
So, so the thing
is, like, there are a lot
beautiful things in the ocean. But once you get down to a certain depth and you start getting in
that 93% that we haven't discovered, it will blow your mind the stuff that's down there. And
what is the reason that we haven't done the exploration in the ocean that we've done? Like,
we're hiring teams of scientists and rockets to the moon. We've got like a power wheels on Mars right
now. Why are we not investing in seeing what else is down there? Well, I hate to get political.
but no you don't
I don't
I do not
be a thousand percent right
but
anytime there is scientific
exploration
there is an incentive
right
so when we went to the moon
in 1969
yeah right
it was because we were
actually fighting the Cold War
and we wanted to beat the Russians
okay
any scientific exploration
that is governmently funded
we are hesitant
to overfund
or even strategically fund that campaign
because it doesn't yield any profit.
My issue with America and our economic system in general
is that we do not value knowledge
as much as we value profit.
And so there is not much profit exploring our oceans.
I think that's, I'm going to have to disagree with you.
Fuck you, baby.
No, no, it's the reason why a lot of the,
what we know about the ocean isn't disclosed,
especially mapping and the
geographics, especially the current maps
is because there's hundreds
of U.S. submarines down there
that have, like, tracked all this information.
They just don't want to share it because they don't want to tell
people where there's submarine.
Shut up.
Hell yeah, Bill.
No, no, what the fuck?
Billy just converted me.
No, no, but the thing is,
the fucking Navy, you know how many
fucking nuclear subs are down there?
There is literally,
we have, we have, we have understood
and exploring.
at least what is you said six or seven percent of the entire ocean that we know and you're telling me
that these submarines have all this information and they're just not sharing it just because like
for example they probably know about 30 to 40 but they don't want to tell us where did you get
the number you make i'm just i'm making it up but they so i was looking into this like why don't
we know anything about the ocean it's not funded no no it's because they want to hide their submarine
one of my one of my friends is in in uh what he does is he restores coral reefs for a living okay
So, I mean, this is a deeper conversation to get into what we're talking about this concept is global warming.
Global warming is real, right?
I know, I don't know how our audience feels about that, but global warming is a real thing.
And one of the big factors is the temperature of the ocean.
And the temperature of the ocean has actually increased by one or two percent.
And why is that a big deal?
One or two.
It's just one or two things, right?
no it is actually killing the coral reefs and so his job his literal job he's a he's a he's a
oceanic biologist his literal job is to restore coral reefs in the ocean he scuba dives and goes
down and like literally plants and restores coral reefs for a living and so the issue is hey fam
what are you doing goblin shark what no the over acidification of the oceans Billy
with the Coral Reese.
Show me a 30.
You know what that mean?
No.
So when I was growing up,
when you say shoot me at 30, it means
30 seconds.
Okay.
We boxing.
Oh, whatever happens in the 30 seconds?
Happens.
I like that.
After the 30 seconds, though,
we good money.
That's the moment.
Listen, I blame myself.
I texted the group a graphic
that I want to pull up on the screen.
This is mesmerizing.
It's an interactive graphic
about how deep the ocean is.
But yeah.
we're not okay like we don't understand how big it is yeah go ahead shoot shoot shoot no i i think can
we pull that up here because yeah yeah that's what i this this does a good job it does a good job
of explaining just how mind-blowingly deep this motherfucker is and how little we know about and why i don't
fuck with it and why arian doesn't fuck with it and and big t and big t correct how do we how do we
connect do you have it up yeah just put it up on hdeme i hd my two all right so we've got we've got this
graphic pulled up in the studio. Jamie pulled it up for us. And if you can, if you want to look at it
yourself, which I highly recommend, go to, what is it, neal.fun slash deep dash sea. We'll link it
on a YouTube. Yeah, neal.fond slash deep dash sea. And so it essentially pulls up a little
picture of the ocean here. It's called the deep sea. And then you scroll down. Billy?
Bill, you want to scroll?
It's cool
We can see it
That'll be able to see it
There we go
Got it back
So
It basically shows the depths
Of you know
There's our beloved manatee
Doesn't go much below
So 11 meters
Polar bears
Can dive down to 45 meters
Which is about
135 feet
I'm just like
I'm looking for the zone
That we get into where it would stop
Where does it become unfucked?
Oh, the midnight, the midnight zone.
Okay, hold on, I take issue with this, scroll up, okay?
What's you doing?
Bang, right there.
No, let's go back down.
Go down.
Okay, I'm uncool.
We're calling them Killer Wells.
Okay.
Because if you, I saw a documentary on them, orcas is what we call them.
They are so friendly to the human race that there has never been in an instance where they kill a human being if they weren't in captivity.
Yeah.
if they're in captivity
and it's not even
that they kill them
that it's like yo
I'm not belong here
right
orcas are beautiful creatures
and they do not belong
in captivity
and zoos are trash
and fuck sea world
go ahead
I actually have a recommendation
to everybody
I did this
so I heard about
the movie Blackfish
great movie
great movie
it's about killer whales
in captivity
my friends had seen
and they told me about it
they're like
you're never going to
want to go to SeaWorld
ever again
and I love SeaWorld
at the time
So I did a seaworld moon
Like people talk about a baby moon
Where they go on a vacation before they have their kids
I did one last trip to sea world
Before I saw blackfish
Knowing that like once I actually saw
The story about these whales
I would never want to go back
Highly recommend doing that
Because I had to get one more trip in me
Now it's like yeah
You you feel bad if you go to sea world now
And not only that
The bigger issue with it is that
They breed them on some like
Dog shit
Like, what was his name?
Etylachum or something like that.
Yeah.
He was like literally responsible for all the orcas in captivity in America for SeaWorld.
Like it's crazy.
So it's like, it's like disgusting.
It's really disgusting.
And they said that like most of his offspring ended up having some sort of problem with the trainer.
Yeah.
Because it had like his jeans and they were like, we're not going to fuck with this.
And a big thing is they fin.
If they fin it, they fin it, they finish straight up.
They're usually like a happy.
orca if it's curved
they're like
distraught yeah they're not they're not
enjoying where they are all right
so keep scrolling Billy so that's at
now we're not at 142 meters we've got
sea lions stuff that you typically
see still like a bull shark
sea turtle sea turtle
175 meters is a lot
extremely deep that's what is at like
500 feet really deep
water we would the mathematics we would
think of this as being
like super super deep
we'd never go down there
this one fucks me up
a penguin can get down to 200 meters deep
on a dive
Avery what can you look up the
far the deepest free dive
by a human
I believe it's 300 and something feet
Oh okay
But Avery check me on that
Because
That's crazy
Because the pressure people don't understand
You have tons of water on top of you
It was 702 feet
Woo shit
Yeah by Herbert
Knight
Got to be white
Yeah, he's definitely white.
Herbert definitely.
No question.
No question.
He's white.
What's up, Colie?
That's like only a white person we'd consider doing that.
I'm going to be honest.
When I was in middle school, I wanted to be a Navy SEAL.
So I was trying to pass the water requirement of swimming underwater.
I swam 50 meters underwater down the pool and back, got out and passed out.
Damn.
What is it to be a Navy SEAL?
You have to jump in the water, do a somersault forward, then swim.
to one side of a 50 meter pool and then back and like people have like died trying to do that
yeah i was an idiot right right now was it was it's a pretty bar it's a bit low bar it's a bit
low barly stop to score real quick yep um so we're at this point on the map right now billy's still
been scrolling we're at 332 meters it's the deepest any human has ever scuba dived in 2014
332 meters down i have a dumb question about this shoot why like how is that the deepest can you just
If you just put a scuba tank on anybody and tell them, like, swim down and then get to 300 and 33, then turn around and swim up.
So the air pressure mixed with, like, your lung, like, so, like, if you, if you, so this cat here, it was trained, right?
And so he's trained to, like, you can't just dive this deep and then go right back up.
It can't happen.
You have to go up in, like, increments or else, like, the pressure, like, fucks with your lungs in a way that will.
I don't know the correct scientific term.
Is that the bins?
I've heard about the bends.
Yeah.
We get air bubbles in your blood.
Yeah.
And so you have to come up in certain ways that actually allows you, allows your body to adjust to the pressure that is within the water.
Because you're just in a water, like, it's not different to going to the tub.
Like, when you go to, like, everything is compressing on you, including your lungs, everything, your blood, everything.
And so, and so cats like that, do that.
They have to understand where they're at, why they're at, where they're at, and expand accordingly.
They can't just submerge it and then go up.
You can't just swim down and then swim back up.
No, you can't do that.
I've got a problem with the term the bends.
I think that that's, it's bad branding for the disease because when I hear the bends or the syndrome, whatever.
It's fly.
If I either think like it sounds kind of cool, it sounds like the name of like an indie rock band from 2003.
Maybe they were on the soundtrack for Garden State.
I don't know.
But like when I hear about the bends, I'm like, that's.
it could be something cool or it could be diarrhea.
I don't think that it's like a disease that will kill you by sending.
It'll make your brain explode, essentially.
Make your capillary system explode.
Right.
We need to think of the new name.
Which is kind of cool, too.
Yeah, just like having all your blood explode at once.
Yeah.
That does, yeah.
He's going to go out though.
Verbal meme, uh, guy with the bends exploding, uh, the caption is listens to my
mixtape once.
Eat the rich.
Yeah.
Great.
Thanks.
All right.
So we're at.
361 meters.
That's where a blue shark is.
We're now hitting the midnight zone where light can't get through the water.
Which is more important.
This is very much.
Okay, so an evolutionary fact.
The reason why all you motherfuckers can see is because the organisms that we evolved from saw light.
Not you, Bigtie.
You came from Jesus Christ.
Directly.
You can trace Bigtee's lineage.
Directly.
Directly, you came from Adam's ball.
families. Everybody else, though, we derived from species that had, can see and were derived from
people that can absorb the electromagnetic spectrum in a way that we perceive it today. So, like,
all this light that you see, right, is in the spectrum. Not everybody in every species can see
it like that so like x-rays and shit we can't see that yeah but it's still in existence maybe one day
right if we keep involved i hope so that'd be sick that would amazing so what you're saying is uh
at some point some cell our lineage some cell deep in the ocean had to make it uh there was a mutation
of a cell yes and it was a freak mutation that happened they were all swimming around darkness
they couldn't see they were going around i don't know which sense came first maybe the sense
Probably sight for survival.
Yeah, maybe since a feel or I don't know.
But at one point, there was like a mutation of one weird cell.
And then that organism had the ability to see something.
Yep.
And since that ability,
shadows,
since that organism could see stuff that nobody else could,
he got to eat more of its favorite food.
Or got to evade.
Yeah,
you know,
got to get away from its hunters and he got to fuck more.
Or if it just like self-replicated,
then it stayed around long enough.
It stayed around longer than all of its other neighbors, so it got to replicate more.
Yes.
And then some small percentage of the cells that it replicated also had that gene that allowed sight.
And then their lineage also had that site.
And then boom, you can see.
But some of them did not ever reach that point.
And those creatures, for the most part, in a dark ocean.
They like to chill down in the midnight zone where there's no light whatsoever.
And that starts at around, what was that, like 400?
We have a four 50.
Let's see, four 50.
It's actually, there's like an actual point where light all the way disappears and we are at.
Oh, man.
So now we're down to, scroll back up.
Now we're down at 750 feet.
Okay, okay, we got, we got, we had giant, let's scroll up, okay, all right.
We had a giant Pacific octopus.
Yep.
At 780 meters.
Octopuses, we talked about this last episode.
Octopuses may be some of the most intelligent beings.
on this earth can i got to amen amen amen all right i agree the government agrees with you have you
have you ever seen the video damn are you fed arian what if he was the fucking nark this whole time
no billy and nark we've been we've been i don't know it it seems like a case of the lady doth protest
too much where arian's been calling everybody else out on being a cop you you have to tell us if you're
I like it, I like it, I like it.
I hate, but I like it.
The government, due to their intelligence, cephalopods are commonly protected by animal testing regulations.
Do that do not usually apply to invertebrates?
So these guys are like the only non-Bammals that get any sort of like, you know, like
laws protecting, testing on them and whatnot.
So that's, that was something very interesting.
They're very, they're very cool animals.
Octopuses are underrated.
They're not normal.
They're not.
They do look a little bit like aliens.
They're tentacles.
They're actually eight legs.
They don't, they're not.
It's not even legs.
There's actually, every tentacle is like a different brain.
Yeah.
And so they actually have an entirely different system that we are set up and accustomed to knowing.
So like every limb that they have is actually thinking.
Yeah.
Have you ever seen the clip they put an octopus in like a mason jar and unscrewed the cap by itself?
They're insane.
They're intelligent as fuck.
They're not, no.
And so there's a lot of people that think.
So there's a theory out there, right?
This is the, the premises of our pod.
But there's a, there's a theory out there that says octopi or no octopuses.
The pusses are actually not from here.
They're actually from another planet.
And they actually have, like, came here on a.
Comet or somewhere else, because they're so unlike every other organism.
They're so unique and diverse that it's just not a normal occurrence in our ocean.
There's a movie.
There's a movie out there called, I think it's the Octopus Teacher.
Oh, gorgeous movie.
And I think it got nominated for an Academy Award.
I've had it recommended to me by a few different people.
I watched it.
You watched it?
So I thought I was going to watch it today.
and I started run out of time,
so I said,
I'm just going to watch
a 30-minute interview
with the person
that made the movie instead.
So I learned a little bit
about it that way.
I'm excited to watch it before.
Like,
I want to hear more about
what they learn about
the octopuses of this movie.
But one thing that I love
about ocean documentaries
and any time that you're learning
anything about the ocean
is it kind of goes back
to what we talked about
with Alex Jones
conspiracy theory movies,
the soundtracks for ocean scenes.
So relaxing.
So relaxing.
So, like,
I could,
probably just like listen to ocean music and fall asleep it's so calming it's so nice in fact
any video game out there the water levels were always the chillest music this made it seem like
very very calm but yeah so the octopus teacher this is um it's a documentary that came out about
a guy that studied the octopuses in were they pacific octopuses yep and so he learned obviously
the the octopus ended up teaching him something what do you learn from this from this octopus so
So what I, what I gather from this is this, which was the more important point, was that it wasn't this as he learned from somebody.
He strategically picked an octopus, stuck to him for, I was like months before the octopus actually was like, okay, now you have access to my life.
Then the octopus started granted him access to his life.
and he learned how he moved.
He learned where he wanted to go.
He learned why he wanted to go.
And it was like a dance.
And that was the biggest thing to me was the octopus was it was communicative.
They were understanding each other.
They were talking in a language that wasn't a language.
And that was the more beautiful thing.
He was like, he was like, he was inviting him into his world.
And to me, that's the bigger thing and why the ocean is so.
beautiful to me
but also I'm not fucking with it
but the ocean is beautiful to me
because it's so unexplored
you have a
species where it's like literally
teaching you things
this octopus is literally saying
like let me show you what I do
let me show you where I go
let me show you why I go
and like all that information
is being accumulated over time
and that's service level
we don't know what's going on
at where we are right now
We had 700, 800 feet, something like that.
So I think that when it comes to like aquatic life, one big problem I have with like getting interested in what fish do is I never, I never look at a fish and I'm like, you know, that I never see a personality.
I've never seen a fish with a personality besides Larry, who was a great gambler.
But I've never seen a fish and like, I'm like, oh, this fish is friendly or this fish is curious or this fish is kind of a dick.
Like I look at a fish.
I just see a fish.
I see like two dead eyes.
They swim.
They like follow the rest of their school.
And you're always told like fish don't even feel feelings.
What's your metric though?
How are you gauging what is a fish and what is not a fish?
I think I'm judging everything.
This might be unfair to fish.
But I'm judging everything based off dogs.
And I'm like, you know, there are multiple kinds of dogs out there.
And I'm like, I like when I can tell that that dog likes me.
Or I can tell when the dog does something cute.
I've never seen the fish do something cute ever.
But octopus is.
You never said a fish of something cute?
Yeah, when a fish...
They jump to your foots.
You never fuck with dolphins or they're mammals.
I don't know if you want to call the fish.
No, no.
I, I, dolphins are excluded from this because, yeah, dolphins and orcas, they do cute shit.
Yeah, whales.
They do cute shit.
Okay, fish, go ahead.
Only other animal to have sex for pleasure, dolphins.
There you go.
That's not the only other them.
This is one of them.
What about bonobos?
Bonobos are matriarchy.
For sure.
Yeah, they fuck though.
For sure.
No, I'm sorry.
They fuck for hierarchy.
Okay.
Not just that, though.
There's a plethora of species that fuck for pleasure.
It's not just dolphins and us.
Well, they have probably fun doing it, but like outside of mating, they like...
No, you're wrong, Billy.
Lions fuck like 30 times a day, don't they?
They don't do it for pleasure.
Nonsense.
I don't know about lions, but I'm saying it's like there's a plethora of species that
fuck just purely for pressure, just like us.
They might all be primates.
No, outside of primates
I know dolphins do too
Dolphins got some heavy ice brains
He said dolphins
Yes
Other animals do have sex for fun
Discover magazine
You want to click on that one
Wait wait wait
Before we find out what animals
Fuck for pleasure
We have a cyber security expert
On the show Billy Football
He did a whole presentation
About a couple years ago
And you have
You want to talk to us about the service
One thing I've learned
And I know most of you
Are probably thinking
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Let me tell you something.
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Love it really. Great job.
All right, so Jamie, you just pulled up
do other animals, fuck for fun.
For pleasure.
What'd you find?
Okay, since the word pleasure
is quite vague,
scientists...
What you mean is play?
Well, scientifically.
So the scientists have tended to focus on orgasms
as a particularly
intense form of sexual pleasure for many people.
The logic has been that if non-humans experience orgasm, they are most certainly experiencing pleasure.
Okay.
Meaning.
So, okay, so they've realized that every animal that orgasms has sex for pleasure.
Okay.
I got blown.
No, no, I, whoa.
I say, so in the interest of protecting Billy a little bit here, I think that, I think his stat about animals that fuck for fun was either taken from a snapple cap or from a website that he Googles fun animal facts app.
before the end of every part of my take.
And so he probably saw that pop up so many times
that he thought that it was legit.
So you have read that.
You've read that before.
It turns out that it was just like a little wrong.
But if you want to go back to...
One of the few that has sex for pleasure.
One of the few.
So if you want to go back to the chart of the ocean here,
octopuses, I'm going to watch that movie.
I'm going to go, I'm going to have some...
It's amazing.
And I'm going to watch the...
Do you hear some of the stories that zookeepers and aquarium keepers say one time
and octopus
hit us
bro would climb out of its tank
while the guard
guards were switching
and sneak into other
fish tanks eat the fish
then go back to its own tank
and just perform the perfect crime
that happens in finding gory
yeah oh shit really
yeah that movie might be pretty
scientifically accurate
so I'll not eat the fish
but he does like go out
octopuses in general
are extremely intelligent
they have been put through tests
after test as to
like kind of like
IQ examples as far as how to get out of predicaments that they're in, whether like they're
in a jar or outside of jar, they understand how to open jars, like where they previously had
no knowledge of how to do so. Octopuses are extremely intelligent. And this is why I mentioned
on the last podcast, the movie Arrival and the writers, why they're so brilliant, was because
if you were to construct a species that was brilliant and intelligent and smart,
It would be a cephalopause.
And in the movie arrival, they're a cephalopause.
Interesting.
And they, what's their lifespan?
I know that they usually die directly after mating.
And I also saw a thread that someone was like.
Just give me that fact, though.
Yeah.
If the octopuses could.
Well, that's a good question.
I think, I think it's like three to five years.
It's not long.
It's not long.
So, Billy, what they say if the octopuses could what?
If they could survive past their children being born.
they would be able to teach because octopuses can learn from each other so then you'd have cross
generational octopus culture yeah so what you're saying is like they there's such there's such
hyper intelligent creatures that they like they figure all this stuff out independently they don't
have like a mom or a dad that like teaches them where to go hunting yeah so they're yeah they are really
smart if they could just get over the what if they get to a point where they are like let's just not
fuck because we all die after we
reproduce that'll be too smart yeah
well like in cell octopuses
or the virgin octopuses teach
the new baby octopuses
yeah so I
yeah the virgin ones they live
longer yeah yeah they're
reproducing at a rate though that
it's like it's more like a virus spreading
than any like you know what I mean
whoa whoa whoa whoa let's
let's not disrespect them
and call them a virus
any octopus that's listening i apologize but it's like they don't like go in and out at a one
to one clip you know what i mean like there the mother's feeding herself the father just dies
immediately when he nuts which is like there's no better way to go no the mother i want to go like
that yeah that's how matthew mcanaughey's dad died growing up matthew mccaney's dad would always tell
him one of these days I'm going to croak when I'm making love with your mother, which is like
the most Matthew McConaughey story that you could have, my dad used to tell me that. And then one day
he just had sex and he died. And he like, he called a shot. That's the way to go out. Yeah.
Babe roof. Yeah. They roofed it. He paved roofed it. He pointed out at the cervix with one hand.
That's how I'm going out, cousin. Yeah. In a motel six with a lifestyle condomar.
Super 8.
Wait, in your dream scenario, it would be in a motel six and you'd be wearing protection.
No, my dream scenario, I am in the Brooklyn Bridge Hotel.
I'm in a sleep.
You're just, I'm uncomfortable because you're describing what you're going to do tonight.
I might die tonight.
I don't have a condom on because if I'm dying, fuck condoms.
Yeah.
Like, what are we talking about?
Exactly.
If I have a seed from it, I'll have your boy.
Read and listen to everything I've done.
I'll steer you right.
And that's got to be an all right kid, actually.
Yeah, he can be straight.
Yeah, I think, like, growing up with the knowledge that your father, that was his final life, it gives him something to live for.
It's like, I got to, I got to honor his memory.
Let's go back to the ocean trip.
Okay, real quick, before we do that.
Okay, yeah.
There is a huge fact about the ocean that I don't think we have touched on yet.
Okay.
There was a study done in 2011, super scientific.
Right.
And I say that and people that don't believe in science
You'd be like, what does that even mean?
It means you don't understand.
Shut the fuck up.
What I'm saying is what we know is we have guesstimated, estimated.
We know there is 90% around 90% of oceanic animals that we have not accounted for.
That is fucking insane, though.
We improve the existence of the giant squid.
until 1928 yeah it was always mythical so what other mythical creatures i thought it was like they didn't
find one until i thought it was like the last three or four years they found dead ones okay
before then but they had never said that a live one had never been encountered until recent so back to
my my general fear of the ocean and other living creatures that shit is it's the crack it's the
crack it's yeah it's horrified i don't see how anybody sees that it's like you know what i'm
going to go in the ocean for fun so a crackin could exist
Why people?
Why people let it do that shit?
I don't understand.
We're like, yo, let's risk our lives just to think.
Yeah.
Let's do it.
Facts.
Like, if you look at a Norwalk, there's no way that thing's, that's not real.
No.
What is Norwalk?
A Norwalk is, Jamie, you want to pull that up.
Yeah, it's a unicorn whale.
It's a whale that has a horn growing out of its head, and it's legit.
Yeah.
It's a real thing.
It's absolutely a real thing.
Vikings used to sell their horns to, like, kings in Europe.
up and say like oh we have unicorns this is one of their horns fucking billy ocean is full of the
facts it is it is a unicorn of the sea it's crazy looking so that's it right there
normal wall it's like a swordfish like a swordfish mammal but look how long like a porpoise
with a sword that's crazy nor wall yeah so it like that's one of the things that's down there
and we know about that imagine how crazy this stuff is that what is what is what i'm saying we we don't
know 90% of the shit is down there yeah
So, Billy, keep scrolling here.
How wild is that?
So 791 meters is where we're at.
We just passed the giant octopus.
And we're very much in the midnight zone.
Monkfish.
They said they saw a monkfish in the Mariana's trench, like at the deepest point.
They're huge, right?
Yeah.
And then now we're getting down to worms.
This is where they're worms.
Wow.
A sperm whale can go down 932 meters.
That's over 3,000.
feet yeah probably
cannot cannot it's so crazy because like
look at the discrepancy like there's all these little
animals and then humans can't go
down there right because it's just like lung capacity
and water pressure we've gone down
in a submarine but other
James Cameron is the only human
yeah how wild is that
somebody shooting fucking movies is like
yo I'm the deepest nigga that ever going
in the ocean I said wow
you already sat down there too
we're canceling James Cameron
No, I mean, like, no one can touch me down here.
Yeah, you're in, you are in the definition of international waters.
What is said, what happens below sea level, stays below sea level.
He is, so the fact that it's him that's like the king of the ocean is, I think that he's just down there and he's going to start discovering stuff that isn't true so that he can make movies out of it and tell everybody that it's true.
You're like, look, I discover this down here.
Now I'm going to make a movie about like, what if one of those had an.
army and tried to like take over the world and everyone's going to go see if you're an alien
civilization yeah do you land inside of the water and find that life more appealing or our life
more appealing honestly i think i it from an objective standpoint please do if you're discovering earth
as an alien you probably go to the water because there's so much more of it like there's so much
more stuff going on in there than there is on the land and it's hidden but you probably
probably like if you're sending out like your drones or whatever they're probably checking out
the land a little bit but i think aliens would be like this is like the ocean is probably a safer
place for you to go because you're not going to get caught by human walking around and turned in right
if you if an alien goes under under the sea they're not going to like they're not going to get
into a war with a bunch of salmon you know we don't know that they're going to be able to like move
around pretty free we don't know 90% of the life it's in there though i'm okay with
99% certainty.
I don't think that a bunch of fish
are going to, like, find aliens
and then fire nuclear weapons
that they can get them out of their house.
My thing is this, bro.
There might be a civilization
that lives underneath this.
True.
I mean...
Are you getting into Hollow Earth now?
Yeah.
Not hollow Earth.
So, right or wrong, Billy Ocean.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
There are lakes and rivers
in the ocean underneath.
Underneath the ocean?
Yes.
I think so
There are
There are lakes
And there are rivers
We can't
We've explored
5% of the ocean
So how do you make a river
In an ocean
Is it like the current
It's the current
It's the watertight
It's the flow
It's the
Oh yeah
This is really cool
Wow
Look at this
So here's a crazy question
Are there
Like how much
Does the ocean weigh
Mm
Yeah
With a bar.
How many?
How much does the ocean wear?
We'll take their shit in.
Let's go.
How many gallons of water in the ocean?
No, no.
Just say how much is the ocean weight?
Well, then we'll just time.
Because we know how much the earthways.
Kola, give me a guess.
How much does the ocean wear?
66 trillion tons.
Simply too high for that kind of thing.
We get to hit people with like a warning.
One?
Safe space warning.
Yeah, I'm going with 66 trillion tons.
You don't even know how much 66 trillion.
no clue but i'm guessing no
yeah i think that's probably close what's one
what's one next past trillion quadrillion quadrillion
then quintillion sextillion septillion fucking
republican's got the bars on them i'm gonna go bang bang
i'm gonna go uh 50 quadrillion pounds 50 quadrillion pounds
give me an octillion i'll take one octillion one octillion
okay billy come on care i'm doing some math avery what is it's a simple question
i don't even know the ocean waves right like why you're struggling a
Well, because they're all giving in volume.
What a fucking loser, bro.
Tell us how much the ocean weighs, bro.
Figure it out.
Avery, what's your guess?
Isn't there, like, a such number as million billion?
No.
So that would be, well, yeah, it's just saying so a thousand millions would be a, or a thousand
billions would be a trillion.
Yeah, we talked about this.
A million billions would be a quadrillion.
Yeah.
So a million billion is just a quadrillion.
Okay, so there's, go ahead.
See, million trillion.
Look at that.
326 million trillion gallons.
million trillion would be water weight calculate how much is the waterway so let's doing some power math right
oh dude it broke the system it's too many zeros so that they don't want you to know that's like that's like government shit what are they hiding ice walls flat earth talk to you boy that's like such an incalculable number it's like a million seconds is like two weeks okay so a billion seconds is like a gallon of salt water oh here we go 8.6 pounds so 8.6 times how many
How many pounds are in the ocean?
We got to take this to Wolfram Alpha.
This is heavy computation.
I don't know what Billy just talked about.
He went to Black Google.
He just entered the zone.
He went to Black Google.
Yo, we're on the dark web right now.
You're in a dark web.
No, there's a website that people used to cheat on math in high school.
Hey, you're going to get us, you fit to get us, the fans are going to be on the, like, what the fuck is going on the door?
Shout out, Express BPN.
Yeah.
They're taking care of this.
Yeah, making sure that.
And when Billy wants to see Titty.
Oh, you miss that, Aryan.
Anytime you say Wolfram Alpha, you sound like the guy in a heist movie who's in the van shutting down like in the system.
I got you.
Y'all just take care of your part.
I'm going to shut the city down so you can.
I don't know how to say that number, but it is 10 something.
So it's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 19, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18.
it's 10 836 and then 18 zeros
1,000 million billion billion trillion quadrillion quintillion
sextillion so that's 10 septillion
Big Tee that sounds like some bullshit
Damn I mean he just it could be a hundred percent correct
I'm just like that's the numerical
I hope you're right he's a good numbers guy
I hope one of these motherfuckers fact check us and you'd be like
So I think that's 10 septillion 836 sextillion pounds
Also, if you're doing the math at home, make sure you have the weight of water is salt water.
If you're doing the math at home, stop it and go get vagina.
So that's a heavy-ass ocean.
How heavy is the earth?
The ocean's low-key-thick, turns out.
They've got to be heavier than that, fan.
I mean, the earth has got to be heavier than that.
That's such a mind-boggling amount of water.
And I think that if I'm an alien, I'm probably going to, I'm probably going to, I'm probably going to,
It's more rational, but like, okay, what is the most land occupancy, right?
It's water.
Yeah, exactly.
It takes up the most space.
71% of the city.
Yeah, so that's what you're wanting, you're going to want to go explore.
But yeah, that's, damn, that's a heavy-ass ocean, man.
That's why I don't go in it, though.
Speaking about getting vagina, something you got to do.
Got you, because we got an ad read.
Well, this isn't so much an ad read as it is.
Aaron, like this is a product that he
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with manscape dog i'm not joking it works me t you looking at me like it doesn't but it does
no i i've used it as well what color is your manscape lawn what color well ideally it's gone
Nope
There you go
But what
What kind of was it
What
You heard me
What color do you think of
This is
It's reddish blonde
Fuck no
I don't know
Now okay
I will say he's never
You probably never see my hair
Because I wear a hat all the time
But people
People always say I have red hair
I don't have red hair
It's like brown
Brown
You know who never admits
Something like redheads
Will never say they're redheads
Facts
All right
This hat is super tight, so it leaves like Markleman.
It's a little red.
Wait, wait, what colors your beard?
Out of your mind?
What colors your beard?
So the beard does.
Yeah, that means got ginger in.
The beard does, but the hair does not.
Ginger balls.
There's, there's reddish hues.
No, that's fake news.
No, I'm looking at it right now.
It's literally not.
Like, you guys are just trying to like, oh, ha ha, big tea.
It's not.
Big T.
I grow up in Boston.
Like, we have the most redheads per capita on the planet.
100% of them will tell you, like, no,
It's strawberry blonde.
This is on camera.
It's not red.
There's red in there.
That's, you absolutely have, are you like, just in denial?
No, like, y'all are crazy.
No, you have red hair.
Are you out of your mind?
This is the stupidest thing to debate ever.
Are you that shit insane?
Am I going crazy?
The light is really unhelp in your case.
Yeah, we're under pounds of light.
This is not red.
It's a little red.
It's not full-blown redhead.
Nah, this is fake news.
Big red, big red, relax.
A little big red.
Yeah, everybody, that's the big bit now in the office.
Everybody just takes something and puts big in front of it.
Oh, Big T, a big X.
Like, it's just, it's not a, it's not a funny joke.
It's not a good big T.
No, Big T.
We disagree.
How hardly this is not a funny joke.
Big T is, uh, is bit paranoid at this point.
Every time, 90% of time I see Big T in the office, he's walking into a room and being like,
oh, PFT's doing his memes bid on me again.
Right. I'm sick of the memes.
And then I walk out and then Jeff D. Lowe will be like saying some.
Oh, Jeff D. Lowe is doing one of his bits again.
You're just accusing everybody left and right.
You're doing a bit right now.
I'm not doing a bit.
Oh, I'm going to talk like this like Big T.
Gosh.
This is crazy stuff.
So under the sea, there actually are structures that look like their man made.
You said under the sea.
Under the sea.
I would be remissed if I did not at least acknowledge.
Sebastian, with the greatest Disney song of all time under the sea.
Darling, it's better down where it's wet to take it from me.
Bang, okay.
Y'all go ahead.
Love it.
So there are structures in the ocean that look like they have to be manmade.
They look like they're structures that could not have just existed by happenstance in nature as rock formation.
So Billy pulled some up and did some research.
Sounds like a conspiracy, bro.
Yeah.
No, these are real.
These are real.
We'll start with the original that is thought to be the Lost City of Atlantis,
which is actually where Atlantis in the Bahamas gets its name.
It is called Bimini Road.
And it is a long group of what looks like pavement that is put in this sort of,
you guys got to Google this at home because this is a very visual thing.
But basically it looks like there's a remain.
of a city underwater around the it's right off the coast of the Bahamas and if you look at it you know
it looks like Roman roads the pavement looks extremely you know like a classical city and what it means
and you know it's very interesting there's many of these types of structures there's another one wait
wait real quick on the many road how deep is it it's not too deep the waters there are not too deep
so it's something that could have been covered up by right right yeah
There is a scientific explanation that it's geological formations.
It's all made a granite.
Everything seems to be worldly in regards to it.
But it's very, when you start to see geometric shapes in nature, right angles, straight lines, that's when it starts to look very human.
Talk to big tea about that.
The Baltic Sea anomaly is another one, which is in the Mediterranean in the Baltic Sea, of course.
that looks exactly like the Millennium Falcon.
Yes, it does.
These structures are just plopped on the bottom of the ocean floor.
So it's located the Baltic Sea.
This particular one is located like in between, what, Sweden and Finland up there, I think.
Yes.
So I did a little bit of research on this one.
And it looks, yeah, it looks like the Millennium Falcon or kind of like the Buffalo
Bill's logo on the side of the helmet a little bit.
And what's fascinating about this one to me is,
is that it looks like it's got steps built into it.
It looks like it's got tunnels and corridors that exist in there.
And, yeah, it was just discovered pretty recently.
Yeah, in this, they were looking for minerals on the ocean floor,
doing some underwater mining.
But it's really interesting.
There's another one that is in Japan, which is called the,
oh, actually the coolest one is actually the Cuban underwater formation
that actually looks like a giant,
city
there's like pyramids and stuff
it's kind of ridiculous
it's this one on the top
and give it a gander
if you can at home
this stuff looks like ancient cities
where a bunch of
higher octopus beings
probably lived
devil advocate
pyramids are very
commonplace in ancient
civilizations and ancient civilizations
for the mere reason
that it's efficient
to build a structure
that is of that geometrical shape where rain runs off of it like it is very it's very so it's
very possible that civilizations have experienced the climate of our earth and has fallen
not necessarily that they have lived in under the ocean under the ocean yeah right so it's
like an ancient city and in this in this one that I'm looking at right here the pyramid does
make sense because if you're building something that goes up it's easier if it gets smaller as it
goes up because then you just do the same motion every time as you're building a block up next to
the next level you have to have like that's right so this one does look like and it's got
squares and perfect right angles and some of the structures underneath there so this one does
look to me like it used to be a city that existed on dry land 100.
And then the last one is the Yona.
I'm butchering this pronunciation.
I'm sorry.
Yonaguni, I think.
Yonaguni monument, which is another granite structure that can be explained with science.
But, you know, looking at all these things, it's like these were undiscovered for so many years.
And we've only, you know, civilian, civilian knowledge is we've only know about so much of the ocean.
Think about how many structures we may have not found.
All right, so let's get, let's get consensus on this.
Atlantis.
What do we feel about Atlantis?
I don't think that Atlanta, I don't think that there's ever been like mammals that have the ability to breathe underwater that just chill down.
So, mermaids are out of.
Mermaids, they're just a product of horniness.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't think that they, I don't think Atlantis was a place.
It was probably a place that was like a Las Vegas on the ocean, like a Sodom and Gomorra type place where people used to go and have, you know, it would be like a, uh, uh, a heating.
society or whatever and then maybe it got lost in earthquake or something like that and now
they talk about it someone called it the lost city and like built it up to be this great cool
place and over the years the story gets bolder and border and border but i don't think that no i don't
it's a visa when it goes into the ocean yes but our long island mythologically it was just
a rival nation from out in this sea so billy oregon are you sold that are you sold on the
fact that there was no civilization that actually
resembled humanoids that occupied ocean
territory. I could never say that for sure. I will always
Put your steak on it. Okay. I'm not going to put it in the ground. That's
the same way of saying like are aliens real? It's not the same thing. It's the same
I there's literally a Drake equation as if aliens are real or are they not real.
Well, I think I actually agree with with Billy's take on this a little bit.
You have a phila sweater.
Well, I know, but Aaron, it's like, he's keeping open mind.
Yeah.
Like, Billy's not always okay.
No, Billy is the, you're right about that.
In this case, the saying, like, the wisest man is the man who knows that he is not all-knowing.
That's Billy right now.
Billy's tapped into that part of his brain where he's like, I'm not smart enough to know.
I'm okay with that.
Yeah.
But the issue I have is this, okay.
When we talk about the universe, it's an entirely different situation.
We're talking about the ocean.
This is why.
The universe has been studied to an extent that it's like, okay, how we interpret the universe is so prevalent that is not necessarily for the ocean.
You can't draw a line straight from how you talk about the universe to how you talk about it.
You can or you can?
No, I agree that you can't because underwater, like, there would have had to be an evolutionary step that was like, we're going to be.
be halfway humans, but also retain gills.
Okay.
And then there would be probably evidence of something like that having existed.
Yes.
But you could also say like maybe at some point there were giant octopuses that had no evidence of it.
That had big brains.
Well, science is off evidence.
I think there's a greater chance we'll encounter a civilization from the deep sea than in any of our lifetimes than before we encounter aliens.
Because think about this.
You think, time out, before the misinterpreted, you think that there is a civilization undersea?
Well, think about life, we don't know what's out there.
True.
We don't know what's down there.
Right.
There's, for a scientific fact, we know that we don't understand 90% of life in the ocean.
Right.
So, but the thing is, we know there's life on Earth.
So there's more of a chance that there's life down there in that we'll encounter that life just because of proximity than life out in the universe.
think about what I'm saying so how do you gauge those what's your metric for understanding like from one to another um because there probably is life out there but it's so far away from us that we probably won't encounter them just because how the wind you know how proximity you know the solar winds we're never going to get in the same place but we know that there's life on earth it makes sense but it is it is a stretch to be like that they're like humanoids down there well just maybe intelligent life that has formed some sort of it makes sense but it is it is a stretch to be like that they're like humanoids down there well just maybe intelligent life that has formed some sort of
Sort of.
Yeah, like an octopus aside.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And we, it's actually like a pretty reasonable explanation to be like, well, there would be
skeletal evidence to say, well, no, their bones just go down to the bottom of the ocean.
And all right.
So I've got a couple of questions here.
Octopuses don't have bones.
That's right.
They dissolve the perfect crime.
The only thing is the beak.
Yeah.
The perfect crime.
So a couple of things.
When fish died, like the bottom of the ocean is just like a fish graveyard.
They're just bottom feeders.
Just bones on there.
The second thing is fish just poop and pee all the time.
Right.
Has the ocean gotten heavier over the last millions of years because of the fish pee?
Not about it.
No, it's a closed.
Oh, you're right.
Yeah, conservation of mass.
No, you know what?
Has the ocean gotten heavier by us peeing in it?
By humans peeing in it.
Yeah.
That's true.
Yes.
Oh, number one reason I like the ocean, you can pee in it.
That has been this week's macrodosing.
It's amazing.
It was fun.
If you can't tell Aryan has probably spilled more vodka during this episode.
It's not my fault.
It's the cup.
It's the cup.
The cup is leaking.
It's a bad cup.
It's a bad cup.
So this has been this week's episode.
This was fun.
We really just scratched the surface of the other.
You know what?
I think that we covered about 7% of what we wanted to cover in this episode in homage to
to Mother Ocean herself.
Okay.
He said homage.
And the real word is homage.
Homage and homage.
It's amazing that he went there.
Can I leave the listeners with a question?
One thing before you do it, the merch is coming.
I promise.
People have been asking about the merch is coming.
We've got sick macrodosing merch.
We've got to be fire, bro.
It's going to be fire.
Don't worry.
So, Billy, what's your question?
So in 1997, there was a recording of a mysterious...
The bloop.
The bloop.
The bloop.
The bloop.
the bloop bro and no one really knows has a good explanation for what made this sound in the depths of the deep so one of the deepest parts of the ocean is cathoooo how about this
cathulu that's like the old satan right that's the fuck no he's the he's a yeah oh yeah that guy all right so so here's
here's where we can leave it off um if you look at some of these underwater sounds because there are a shitload of
underwater sounds that have been recorded like crazy frequencies that we don't really understand
The bloop is a very famous one.
There's actual like, there's noises coming from the ocean that we don't know what they are.
We don't know if it's 90% of the ocean.
We do not understand who and what is in there.
So how about this?
How about tell us, tell Billy, tweet it Billy what you think the bloop is.
Your, your theories, anything that pops in your head.
And the best theory that we have for what the bloop is, we'll send them a shirt.
We'll send them a shirt.
We'll send them a shirt.
Fuck it.
Three shirts.
Yep.
Three shirts.
When our merch drops.
One more time.
Because I do want to know what that bloop is.
It's fast.
Me too.
Billy got.
Tell them.
Tell them what Billy's wearing.
Billy got Carolina blue pants on with yellow stripes.
Yeah.
And the yettas.
The yettas.
The yettas are Timberlin boots.
Mm-hmm.
They're like, uh, what colors the, what colors the yetas?
Wheat.
Wheat.
Wheat.
Wheat.
He got a red shirt on.
And a 1980.
collared fish
mosaic
It's a Hawaiian
That's not
It's a Hawaii
About that cousin
It's a Hawaiian
It's a floral
The Elk
Best I can say is
Billy don't know
What the fuck he doing
We love Billy
You know what
I think we saw today
I don't
I don't not love
Yeah
You love Billy
I love Billy
We got to return
To Smart Billy today
This is a Smart Billy
Podcast
We got
We got I think
Throat Arian
I think that's what
We got
Throat Aryan today
That's your fault
My fault.
Whatever.
It's just, I'm just calling it what it is.
I'll have fainted.
Throat, Aaron, and, uh, and smart silly today.
Yeah.
What a combination.
Uh, I need a one word answer from you, Aaron.
And this will be the end of the episode.
Shoot.
What color underwear is big T wearing?
One word.
One word.
Yeah.
You get one word.
One word.
You know what?
No, no.
No.
One word.
I got you.
One word.
Billy Wildland Lately
I'm a go
I'm a go with
Maroon
Maroon
It's navy blow
No
Was that for the ocean
No
I should have said yes
I love big T's underwear
I just really do
It makes the episode
It does make the episode
And there we're talking about
It don't matter
It don't matter unless Billy
Unless Billy
No, Billy
Everybody has Big T
Say this is what it is
Yep
Big T puts a period on it
All right
Love you guys