Macrodosing: Arian Foster and PFT Commenter - World War III Draft

Episode Date: March 15, 2022

On today's episode, the crew picks (non-nuclear) countries that they would want going into a World War. With Billy nervous that a WWIII is on the horizon, PFT didn't want to wait any longer. Also, hear Arian's story about the time he was hit the hardest in his NFL career. All of this and plenty more on the show.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/macrodosing

Hey, macrodosing listeners, you can find this every Tuesday and Thursday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Somebody wants to me. Was that in Trek? Yeah. Yeah. That's where I first heard that song. Very famously in Trek.

Is it? Yeah. Yes. That's the beginning scene, right, in the swamp? Yeah, he closes the door. It's like, somebody. Yeah. Okay.

Let's watch that beginning. I thought it was. Because they were all over Smash Mouth at the time. I thought it was, then I saw her face. That's also in it. I think that that might be two. Uh, hold on. Let me look at it on.

Smash mouth was all over the movie. Yeah. I call you, Shrek has a great concept. Yeah. What's up? A train. What about Shrek is for sure a comedy? I just don't think I, like, I wouldn't go to Shrek as a comedy in a draft because it's like a kid's movie.

Like I would think like, I love you man. Wedding Crashers. It's Michael Myers and Eddie Murphy I don't know what else you need But it's a kid movie Or I guess did I just watch it when I was a kid No it's a kid movie I'll watch it today

Well yeah I would watch a lot of kid movies today No one's arguing that it's a bad movie No It just does it fit in the comedy job But like kid movie Are there not subgenres of kids Like can it not be a comedy kid movie That's true

But like are there a lot of Like sci-fi or horror kids movies? No. James on the Giant Peach was not funny. James the Giant Beach is scary. Ariane, what's your take? I need your take on the matter. I don't know what I'm talking about.

Is Shrek, would you consider Shrek a comedy? Yeah. I'm a believer. Who says it's not a comedy? BFT. FD. F I don't know. It's a funny movie. It's a funny movie. That's like saying a rom-com.

Some people would say that's one of the core tenets of being a comedy. Arguably the most important There's a lot of movies that are funny That I wouldn't necessarily say are comedies I think Shrek is trash What? Yeah, it's just like a not a good movie I don't hate that.

Yeah, it's just not a good movies Are you kidding? I'm definitely going to ignore that But what I was going to say was It was written to be funny Like I think that's a difference Things can be funny and not That wasn't the intent

But it's a kid's movie It has to be in your face No, but it was written to be funny I'm saying so it is it is a comedy like but it also has some underlying themes and motives yeah most most well-written comedies do

though yeah what are some of the underlying themes in Trek well the persecution of magical creatures the what man Bill you're so close the what take you're so close take you one step further Billy

what okay what do you think the magical creature do you think that maybe it was the persecution of that was symbolic of something else? Yeah. Jews. Was?

I thought it was just like just like Shrecks about Hitler. People don't like to talk about it. Yeah. I'm just saying. That's what I'm saying. That what? The persecution of magical creatures was supposed to be symbolic for like Correct. Yeah. Yes. Okay. I thought you were saying that

it was that the point was that we should not persecute magical creatures. No, dude. Okay. I also agree with that. Yeah, I do too. Billy, do you not agree with that? Honestly, I think, you know, I'd like to apologize to witches on behalf of what America's done to witches in the past.

Sister Gene, if you're listening. Yeah. Just generally, sorry to witches. Isn't there a new? I think there's a new. I didn't click on it because my first, my first thought was, oh, my God, horseshit. But I think this is a new Netflix, I think it's a series where it's like a medium. The dude's talking to like dead people and shit.

Oh, really? Like the old John Edwards crossing over thing? Let me just verify. Because I saw it because he was talking to some lady and he was like, you know, she would never go out into the woods and come in any of and die. So like they said, did you just say that? Did you just say that? Did you know that she went out to the woods and didn't die? All right, let me see.

Netflix Media Show Yep, Life After Death with Tyler Henry. Okay, I'm gonna have to watch that. I'm definitely gonna watch it.

And that is something that's not written as a comedy, but it will be funny. I fucking hate those people, the people that take advantage of like families that are going through grief. And they're like,

yeah, I can talk to him. He says, he says that he misses you guys. This is him actually talking to you right now. Like those people are the biggest pieces of shit, I think. One of the biggest ones out there, yeah, for sure.

Yeah. I agree. And by the way, this episode is being brought to you currently by Three Chi. Three Chi. The industry leader in Delta A-T-HC products. Big T loves them. They're the only ones that he uses. Delta A-T-HC is psychoactive, so just a warning.

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than Shrek 1. Your comments. Fair. Aaron, what does your daughter think? Did she like Shrek? Hey, do you like the movie Shrek? she ain't fucking what you dope but uh no i'm not so gonna hit me um shrek two better than shrek one i could i can understand you know i like both of them so i can't really i ain't knock in either opinion i like it is there a movie out there where the the sequel is clearly

better than the original mighty ducks oh that's spicy i like it though Mighty Ducks, too. I like it. Do you had that shit in the host thing? Yeah, well, as soon as he said Trek 2, I was like, yeah, Mighty Ducks also. One thing I don't like about Mighty Ducks too is I like the story, how it's an international competition. I dig that. When they go to like the hood part of Los Angeles to get their love for hockey back, you remember that?

Right, the knuckle fuck. They, they're the best team in the United States. youth team, and they get their shit handed to them by kids on the streets of L.A. These kids are like the best hockey players in the world. They know the knuckle puck. No, they're just a good hockey team. And then they just like leave the kids. Yeah, sure, they bring the knuckle puck guy with them. But then they just leave them. They're like, all right, see you later. We're going to leave now. Thanks for showing us how to be good at hockey again. And the kids are like, go get them. I was like police cars zoom by in the back. It's not really a feel good part of the story to me.

you're not wrong yeah they didn't draft all the kids on st vincent st mary they took the best one that's true that's true but that was a good fucking team that's what i'm saying that team doesn't even st mary was nationally ranked i don't i don't think it was a bad comparison yeah they were good though they were a good solid team um and also i thought that the cat should have been playing goaltender the entire time she was way better certainly certainly national treasure two is in contention the dark night is way better

than Batman begins yeah like beyond is that really a sequel like there's so many Batman movie I can't even follow anymore well yeah

that was a sequel in that trilogy I think for what we're talking about it has to have the number two in it it's got to be something too I don't know that's

Avatar too I mean I feel like I hope so my brother I hope so coming soon they tell us it's coming dog I'm fucking here for it I mean, I think the best sequel out of sequels is Rush Hour 2.

That's definitely, yeah, Rush Hour 2 is better than that. Rocky 2? I would keep it a buck. I've never seen Rocky, man. All right, Rocky 1 is Loki ass. They kind of all are. It's too long. It's just like it takes forever.

There's not enough boxing in it for a movie about boxing. It's like very few people get punched in their face in the original Rocky. He does have a cool dog in it, though. I've never seen a record. Anybody else? The new King Kong, the new King Kong was, King Kong,

was way better than Kong, Skull Island. Okay. I don't know if that counts in this conversation. I'll allow it. I'll allow Billy contributing that nugget. That's Billy's a good movie. It's just like not a, it's also a sequel to Godzilla, though.

Like, it's not a sequel to just Skull Island. I love that monster verse. I got to say. For sure. It's, I think it's one of the best trilogies. I mean, best, you know, cinematic universes to come out recently, in my opinion. All right. So Pete's fucking around with her internet today, making very hard to do research for this show.

Skeet. Skeet. Yeah. Skeet. All business, skeet is fucking everything up here. So I'm having a hard time looking up best sequels. But he's, you know, well, all the, all things considered if we're, if we're counting a dark night. I say the dark night is the greatest secret of all time.

Yeah, without a doubt. Yeah, I mean, it's a great movie. That is such a... It's the best Batman movie of all time. 100%. Batman Twitter is going to attack you for that. Hey, fuck Batman Twitter because fuck Batman. What?

I don't care. Like, I'm throwing you a bone saying that's the best Batman movie that is fire, right? But it's not because of Batman. No, it sure isn't. Like, the real Batman fans, what would they say? Like, the die hard. They'd say the one that's out currently is number one. Die Hard really?

would be like, yeah, Robert Pattinson is Batman. Batonson, yes. They called themselves waniacs? No, I just, I think I just made them. They might now. I was like, yo, even more corn to thaw on a fucking sad. We need to throw that on a shirt before that gets viral. Yanniacs.

Now it's just a pejorative. Now it's just a pejorative. Like, fuck you waniacs. I don't care. Yeah, have the W be like the outstretched wings of the bat. I'm a waniac. It's like waniacs. derogatory yeah follow me at a gotham city

my other car is a batmobile yeah you can put out a whole line of this shit they'll eat it right up those suckers was batman in the joker movie that came out recently no very briefly he was he was the very end yeah what was he doing not a whole lot i know people who are a fan of that joker movie kind of give me a little weird me out a little like people who are obsessed with the joker i think

Like, people who are obsessed with any movie kind of creep me out. But I, I, I, you can say it was a, it was a good movie. Like, Joaquin Phoenix did a pretty good job, right? Doesn't, that, does that make me a weirdo to be like, I enjoyed that movie? Well, I never saw it. No, because, there you go. No, because you're not, like, dedicating, like, a lot of time out of your day to it. I think Billy, you know what, like a sneak peek into Billy's mind, Billy hasn't seen the movie because he is secretly afraid that he's

going to love it and turn into an insult like the Joker like what King Phoenix that's why you haven't seen it isn't it no I just like everyone it's just people who like are obsessed with the Joker and his whole like lone wolf type thing just like gave me the hebi jibbies like someone

someone checked their internet history like one of those I think Billy I think Billy's afraid that he's going to love it no I don't I don't know I got a question it's like a hypothetical hypothetical that comes up every like five years more wheels or doors

we haven't touched on this yet this one coli's shaking his head I think coley's seen too much internet we way too much we're done with this hypothetical once the brands get in on it

it's dead like I've seen UPS yeah like posting TikToks about all their wheels I'm just I'm over it we did a Twitter spaces on it last week I think we realized that there's wheels in doorknobs

so And in everything. But that's not the spirit of the question at all. Yeah. No, but that's where it leads you to if you think about it. I'll end this very quickly. Everyone who says there's more doors has to keep asking. Well, do caskets count?

Like, do cats? When you have to ask if things count, you know you've lost. I love Big T's impression of one of these. Caskets have wheels too. Like, they have to wheel that shit. Yeah. I mean, it's, yes, I'm so over. What we decided is like it has to be a transportation, like wheels to pavement.

type situation like wheels on a chair that no that's dumb you're sitting in a chair with wheels right now dude I'm wheeling right now yeah my final vote is for wheels on that one but I feel like this is one that has been like

if we wanted to debate this probably like three weeks ago would have been the appropriate time for it because I saw the look on Coley's face lights out just oh my God I'm seeing people post like super yachts being like no wheels here like I don't give a fuck dude there's 70 of those

in the world right like people as Chris Long posted like this giant tank with like 700 wheels I was like what do we think there are a lot of these as well like what are we doing here I said anybody that thinks doors is a bird brain and then

D.K. Metcalf was like well I think it's doors I was like okay there you go case closed DK by the way free DK can we all get on board that that movement love that free dk let's get no coli don't don't do that coli i know what you're thinking no no not that second okay not the second matriots the second rossel

wilson was traded i was like i don't really need him anymore now do they it is funny that like a team loses the only good quarterback that they've ever had quite literally i mean hassleback had a couple good years and i guess zorned back in the day but like by far the best quarterback that they've ever had and immediately Coley's just like hovering above them like a vulture like they don't need any of their good players anymore. We got Matt Judon actively recruiting Bobby

Wagner like it's it's and now we're going to sign fucking Marquez Valde's Scantling and that's going to be like the big splash of the offseason so like a man can dream PFT I know I know I was just looking at some recent Carson Wins quotes. My beloved commander's quarterback Carson

Wins he gave a speech to like an elementary school and was talking about how to do with adversity and change. And this man, first of all, I'm not, I'm not sure if he actually exists in the normal universe that, that you and I live in. He actually thinks that, like, what he does every day is completely inconsequential. Somebody could be like, hey, Carson, do you want to meet me for lunch today? Be like, actually, uh, I'm doing all of my feasting through the Lord.

And so the only nutrition that I need is through him, which sustains me. Like, he's unable to talk like a normal human being. and he was they were they're asking about how he's dealing with this transition to being the commander's quarterback and he made it seem like you know what you ever seen those bumper stickers that say don't let my car fool you my real treasure is in heaven and they put it on a shitty car as like a joke like oh you know don't don't let this 1987 honda civic fool you that's not my my real treasure my real treasure is eternal life with the lord carson wince did that but but with the Washington Commanders franchise.

He was like, yeah, you know, like it's not what I had expected and certainly nothing that I had planned, but a day-in, day-out basis, it's not even about football. It's just about living the life of the Lord. And I'm trying to, what I do is inconsequential. It's what the Lord does through me that really matters. It's like, dude, we just wanted to know, like, if you were excited about playing in Maryland.

You want to throw to Terry McLaurin a couple times? He's like, that's all we were asking. He's like, I'm going to die someday. Like, that's all he said. That's all I wanted to hear was like Terry McLaurin can stretch the field. Man, that guy's got a catch radius. Like nobody's business. Instead, he was like, yeah, well, guess what?

Well, let me turn the tables on you. Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? You know, the reckoning is coming for us all, whether we want it or not. Yeah. It's, um, it's going to be tough. It's going to be a tough season. But would you have rather. just signed newest Pittsburgh

Steeler Mitchell Trubisky? Yes, yes. I'm on, well, no, no. I'm trying to work that thought out of my head now. I'm giving myself conversion therapy to Carson Wins. I'm like shocking myself every time I go back to it. He would approve. But I was on record saying that I would

rather blind myself than watch Carson Wins play 17 games and then I much, much rather wanted Mitch Trubisky as a quarterback. Now, now I'm not so sure because I did some, I did some digging on some stats, found out that he's the best quarterback in history of the NFL when it's 73 degrees out, found out that he attempted, this is crazy, he attempted 15 left-handed

passes last year, he's right-handed. He plays quarterback. He attempted 15 left-handed pass. Is that true? Yeah. How, how? Like, shovel passes and stuff. Oh, I see. That's like the ones that Ben Simmons. Is this a Ben Simmons? Is he really a lefty? Well, I was thinking about that, actually. And then I went back and watched some of the tape. At least two of those were picked off. I thought all 15 would have. Well, he only threw seven interceptions. So if we can just get him to cut down on the left-handed interceptions,

that takes it down like 25%. What's the funniest part of this? I mean, you were just talking about Russell Wilson being like the Seahawks comfortably greatest quarterback of all time. Wentz is instantly in Washington football. He's in that conversation. It's like Thaisman and him. Like, that's it.

Like 10 weeks of RG3. Right. Yeah. That's it. Disman wasn't even that good. Disman has tricked the world into thinking he was a great quarterback. He stunk for the most part. Doug Williams had a good season and a half, but still he wasn't like, he wasn't a long-term

guy. Mark Rippen had a great season. It's been bad. It's been painful. And like to your point on Russell Wilson, he's another huge God guy, but at least I think he enjoys playing football. I think Carson Wins just like wanders around in sorrow and pity just thinking about, well, one day I'll be in heaven, so this won't be so bad. Anyways, Carson Wentz, let's do it.

I guess we're going to do the whole Carson Wins thing. Aryan, when we spoke last week, want to talk to you about like free agency kicking off and your experience with free agency because it's always you don't really hear from the player's side of it. much it's usually like what the teams are trying to do but you don't hear about what the process is like did people well we know that the dolphins would never do anything inappropriate and contrary to the spirit of winning football games uh but when they signed you like did anybody reach out to you did you hear from other teams before free agency started or was it just like okay you have to sit by your phone and starting at four o'clock on wednesday you're going to get calls wasn't like a high priority free agent like like some cats would be right so like if you're going

into like second contract and in and you've been franchise tag which is the stupidest shit in the world but um but you you've gone through that process and you coming off pro bowl or all pro season um yeah I'm sure that shit happens it didn't happen with me um there was like three or four teams interested because I was coming off of uh Achilles stare and so 29 year old running back coming off an Achilles tear it's just not very sexy. But they were still interested. And so it's like, it's almost like recruiting for high school. Yeah, high school coming out of high school into college.

And so like they fly you out. They kind of like whine and die and you let let you know that they're interested, show you what they can do, how you can fit in a scheme. And it's pretty cool. It's always, it's always fun to feel wanted. Yeah. Did they, like, did they give you a physical and stuff to check your Achilles? Yeah.

No, this, you have to work out for them. So you go through a litany of different running exams and tests and make sure you can cut how they want you to cut. And yeah, it was funny. Adam Gase actually worked me up. And he did like, he probably did like four or five things before I was like, okay, you're good. It was pretty funny. Because I was like, I trained for it. I warmed up like 30, 40 minutes to warm up.

And I was out there for like three minutes. He's like, oh, yeah, you could. So did you have. Did you have any thought about resigning with the Texans or was it like you wanted to get out of town? No, they let me go. And so once they let me go, I was a free agent. And so, no, there was no talk about that. And there was no bitterness on my end or theirs from my understanding.

I don't think they got better until after I retired. Is it weird being like an established player at the age of 29 like you mentioned and then going into a brand new locker room? and just having to meet everybody, that to me would be the hardest part of like having to learn all the new handshakes that you have to do with all your new teammates. Nah, because I was pretty well known around the league, and so it wasn't like,

that's my iPads going on. People came up to you. You didn't go up to people. Yeah, and I'm not, like, I'm an extrovert, but to an extent, like, if I'm in a new area, I won't say nothing to anybody. I'll speak, but I won't, like, get involved in any kind of extra curricular conversations. And so it was cool because, like, you see, you don't ever get to see the admiration

people have for you, you know, up close. And until you go somewhere else, I've never even really been to Miami before. And so you go there and you see, like, people showing you, like, mad respect for what you did, you know, in an entirely different place. And you don't really see it because you kind of live in your own little bubble. And it's like, you know, coaches, mad respect, you know, coaches show you mad respect. The players that, you know, seen you play, they're mad respect. The young cat's coming in and seeing you play, so they respect what you've done.

And so, I don't know, that was a cool experience that I never really experienced before. You get your ego stroked a little bit. I've always wondered about that, like, if you transfer schools, like the new kid that was coming into your middle school or your high school, would always, like, do something stupid to try to act out, to try to be like, hey, look at me. I'm cool. I can be your friend. But I guess with you, probably a little bit different because your reputation have preceded you. It's like, knock the Gatorade cooler over, like, that's like if a kid.

Pick it up, you bum. Yeah, like a kid from the neighboring school gets expelled, moves into your school because they like, I don't know, they beat up a teacher. They come in the door. They have instant respect. That's kind of to a certain extent what you had just based on your career. Yeah. And it's always like that with free agents, right? because there's there's like a there's a hierarchy in an NFL locker rooms just like I think in

any professional sports like there's a hierarchy like you got your ballers with ball and they just command a certain amount of respect and it's not like you don't really get treated any differently by by your peers but you just know like that he a killer like it is what it is like I'm trying to be a killer um and so when free agents come like a good example is like the the biggest free agent we signed when I was in Houston with Jonathan Joseph Jonathan Joseph was a pro bowl cornerback he came from Cincinnati and he came and just off top like most killers like who are just ballers like they just they just give a certain amount of respect too that's that's the biggest thing I noticed about cats who who really excel at their craft they're not assholes like

majority of them are assholes like they can get some decades every now and but the majority of my assholes because to get a certain amount of humility you have to go through in order to get to that status and so when he came he was just like super cool and just just naturally inviting, right? And so it just helps cultivate a good winning environment when you know somebody's a killer and they're willing to just do the small things just like everybody else. So that's the biggest thing I noticed is like killers respect killers as well. What was the biggest difference you noticed just between how like the Texans handled their day to day versus because like they're both middle of the pack teams during that era? So like what

was like something the dolphins did that like surprised you like oh why weren't we doing this in houston or what was something that they didn't do that you were like man why don't we do this i think the one thing that both organizations did well um even with kubiak or bill o'brien was like they let their prime time players that kind of they let they they gave them a leash so speak they let it they wasn't like because a lot of times coaches try to like put up this facade Like, everybody's going to, it's just not the same, bro. Like, let you kill us kill. And they go handle, like, I remember, like, one time, this is before I was, like,

really any good. And Andre, Josh, it kind of just would always, he would practice hard. Don't we're wrong. But, like, when he didn't, he was chilling. And I'm like, why do they just let him chill like that? And it was like, they don't give a fuck about now as long as it shows up on Sunday. And I was like, that makes sense. That makes 100% sense.

That's never really thought of it like that. because I come from the mode of, like, college where it's like, you've got to practice a thousand percent all the time. And don't get me wrong. When you practice, you practice. But the mileage is different when you get to the pros. But I think the biggest difference was, and I don't know how it is now, but when I was there, the sport science side was missing in Houston.

So in Miami, I'm talking about they had monitors on your heart for every practice. They took your hydration into super account. nutrition. Everything was just like night and day difference. I'm talking about they really emphasized sports science and the technology available that allows you to read players vitals on the field. They let you know the probability of him getting hurt and what times. And it was just like we took it to another level that I've never seen before. See, I'm glad that I played before the advent. I'm talking like I played like in the NFL. I'm glad that I played high school football at primarily a junior varsity level

before the advent of like GPS trackers and stuff because I was so good at slacking off especially soccer practice like I was I could get through a practice probably running 30 to 40% less than everybody else in my position group just because I didn't want to turn it on I didn't want to like

exhibit too much effort in a practice if I didn't have to but that's I guess probably If you're a good athlete, you don't mind running. Well, that GPS tracking is how the Rams got Cooper Cup, because they had the GPS tracker on him at the Senior Bowl, and they realized that he was the fastest player on the field that day, even though his 40-yard dash didn't reflect that.

So that's how they figured out because I don't know why the Rams were the only one with the GPS data on him, but they basically figured out, like, his 40 time wasn't representative of how fast he actually was. It wasn't packed. His game speed. Yeah. Kind of like Arian, who had a very slow 40-yard dash, but you get football.

I'm paying you a compliment right now. No, you're not. You are very fast with a ball in your hand. How angry would you have been if you had what happened to Chris Olavé happened to you? Happened to who? Okay, so Ohio Statewide receiver in this draft, Chris Olave. He ran like a 4-2-1 unofficially. And then I don't even know who was the same day, but like much.

later it came out like he actually ran like a four three four or something like that and so like everyone was freaking out like oh shit he ran like a four two like one of the faster times like for a wide receiver and he was just like that i would rather run slow than be like thought of as this freak and then just like an okay athlete an hour later i don't know four three four three four three no for sure i don't have the i don't have the correct mom those aren't the correct numbers, but it was like, if he was like, it was like John Ross, here's your island versus just like, all right. Listen, if somebody runs a four three, they're walking off on people. Like, oh, yeah, no, three is, four three is burners. Like, I think we see it a lot, right? But it's not. It's like, I think,

I think they time Yusain Boe. I think his was like, maybe like a three eight or something like that. During his split, though, not from like to start. During his split, yeah. Yeah. Right. And those conditions are different too, right? So you got to think he's on, he's on a track, which is made for speed. He has no cleats on. He's not on grass. Like it's definitely different. But you say it's one of the fastest human beings ever walked earth, right? And he's running three nines. Like four threes are fucking burners, dog. So don't get into it. So like I'm not saying to answer your question. To answer your question, if I'm in a four three and I'm anywhere around a DB or receiver, like I'm hype. I did what I was supposed to do. I'm hype. I don't care. If it was a 4-2, that got your buzz name. I got your name out there, right?

But it turns out to be a 4-3. Like, oh, he's not Olympic speed, but he's almost Olympic speed. Like, that's, you're fine. Nobody cares. We are starting to get desensitized to 4-3s in general, I think. A thousand percent. Because you see, like, 4-4s. 4-4 is like, bro, that shit is moving.

Like, think about it. Adrian Peterson ran a 4-4-4-flat. Like, 4-4-4, like, flat. He's one of the fastest. And he walked off on DVs all the time. Like 4-4 is burners, dog. Like that's like a sub-10 hundred. Like that's, he's moving.

So Bolt actually ran a 40-yard dash at a Super Bowl. I don't know which. Yeah, without stretching. Yeah, he ran a 4-2-2. Yeah. And that was, that was super unofficial as well. Like that was just like a fan event. And he was like, yeah, fuck it.

Let's see what, what you say is. got in the tank today. That's crazy. I think he broke Dion's record. That's crazy. It's also, it's not that he's never ran a mile. What, what for? Yeah, there's no reason for him to.

It's just long. You're like, I proved it. That's a little deceptive, though, because he ran a 400. And, and so, like, the 400 is, like, so in order to have, it's like, we think of 100, this is a little sports history throughout track history. So, like, in order to run the, you have to have speed endurance. It's not like a quick speed rate.

Like, you have to have endurance, speed endurance, what they call speed endurance. In order to have speed endurance, you have to train long distance. And his long distance training was 400. People either change the 400 and 800. Sometimes they do the mile. But his was the 400. He was one of the best of the world at the 400 as well. And so, like, he trained for the 400s.

And that's where his long distance training came in. How bad are his hands that no one? I know Kenny Maine did like a. Sunday like skit with him but like how bad are his hands that no one like actually gave him a shot he's tall enough i don't know i can't speak to you say both hands man but what i will say he played soccer i think i think that was his bag yeah track athletes in general don't for some reason a lot of them cannot make that jump like i i've known a lot of track dudes who just ran track and just time after time they just they just it's just a different

world. It's like you're trying to go like this and like football's like this. It's just a different world. Listen, if I were a coach, I would not have Usain Bolt do this. I'd keep doing this. It's working. We're going to keep. We're not changing up a lot. He's obviously made enough in endorsements that like he's good for the rest of his life. But if let's say you're a really good runner, but like you don't have endorsements. Like Justin Coleman isn't that? Like he's a really good American runner, right? Gatlin. I think there's made some money. I think there's a just. Coleman too. Maybe this guy. It was a little while ago. But like, yeah, how much money is there in running? Not that. I, Nike hooks it up, I think. Like, Nike's got this entire project where they

just, they funnel all the, all the really, really fast people up into Oregon. And they train them and they give them sponsorships. I think if you're at the top tier, there's some good money there. But there are probably a lot of people that do track that never really see anything. Christian Coleman. So I'm talking about Justin Coleman's a football. There's, uh, there's one guy named Carlin Isles, who now plays for the U.S. Rugby Sevens team, he became one of the best rugby players in the world as far as Sevens goes. And he's like the fastest person. I think he was timed at 41940 when he ran it. He was a track star, almost had Olympic level speed, tried to play Division III football as a kick returner, and was so good at just exclusively returning

kicks that I think the Lions signed them for a couple of seasons and kept him on the practice squad but he developed like he learned the sport of rugby and became one of the best in the world which a lot of people would say like figuring out how to play rugby from scratch is more difficult than making the transition to being a football player because you have to play offense defense there's a lot of rules the games fluid there's not many like starts and stops he's one guy that was able to do it he's he was so fast i saw him in hong kong when i went out there for the seventh tournament a few years ago he was so fast i started last And then I started crying because I was laughing so hard just because this guy was so fast and so much faster than everybody else.

It might have had something to do with Molly to say. I was going to say, yeah, I took a bit of MDMA. But the point is, I cried because this man was so fast. Just marveling at the human beauty and the capabilities of another man. I respect it. I respect. How important? How important is speed?

in rugby because i feel like very because i feel like it's so much power based yeah it's i mean it's a combination if you're fast uh then like speed is going to be a big asset you don't necessarily need your like your giants your bigger guys to be super fast you want them to be able to be quick and explosive and move in like short areas right to make tackles and make little bursty runs um but for anyone that's like uh the i'm trying to figure out a way to describe this. If you're number seven through number 15 on the field, then it helps to be very fast.

It's a tremendous asset if you're very fast, especially if you're a wing or a fullback. But yeah, yeah, speed is pretty important unless you're one of like the six or seven biggest guys on the field. All right. Well, good talk. Good football talk. Just some guys talking ball.

Aaron, you have any, you have any NCAA, tournament takes because I'm about to jump into the Tennessee minute real quick. Is it starting? This is March. This is March. This is the Tennessee minute starting right now. The bracket Tennessee is in it? Tennessee's in it? Oh, we're very much in it area. Okay. They're kind of in it.

They should be more in it. We should. They got a third. It's hard to be more in it. Well, no, they could be a T's pretty black and white. You're in it. Well, there's eight teams who are in it, but not. The other, the rest of the The field is completely in it.

So Tennessee, I'm going to keep it a buck. I don't know what the fuck got talking about. Tennessee had a great season. They beat a lot of excellent teams, as I'm sure, like, Big T will be able to tell you off the top of his head. Yep. 11 and 7 and Quad 1, one of only two teams in the country without a loss outside Quad 1. There we go.

I was about to ask you about their Quad 1 record. Yep. So, um, there are a three seed. Many people are upset about this, myself included. I told Big T, I was upset about it yesterday. They should have been a two seed. Some people said, even a one. There are metrics that say Tennessee should have been the third one seat.

There are metrics that say that. I'll just say they should have been a two seed. I agree. I'll put my reputation behind that one for you, Big T. I told Big T, I would give him, I have six more hours of caring about Tennessee being snubbed. And then I'm just, it's not going to, I'm not going to think about it. Honestly, I think I beat you to like, like, I'm over it. Okay.

You got to win six ball games one way or the other. We got an okay draw, honestly. Like, we've beaten the one seat. in our region. The two seed kicked our ass, but we're a very different team than we were in November. I like our draw. We should have been a two seed. It's whatever.

So two seed in your region is Villanova. Correct. They beat us by 18 in November. Good team. And then the one seed's Arizona, who we beat at Christmas. So how far do you have Tennessee going? I mean, obviously I have us winning the national championship. But every year, I'm like, you know, I'm going to be, I'm going to be objective.

this year. Like, we're probably going to lose at some point. And then you get to Nova and you're like, well, we missed a lot of shots that game. And like, we're a very different team. Kennedy Chandler's radically different player. We're going to beat them. Already beaten Arizona. So that's just put us into the final four. There you go. Just wipe that one off. Then we're probably going to play who's in that region below us. So then you'd play most likely, well, I have Wisconsin. It's the Kansas region. Okay. Yeah. So Kansas, Auburn, Wisconsin. Iowa's in that one. Yeah. Anybody can come out of that region. Yeah. I mean, we've beaten Auburn.

We always play very well against Kansas You played Auburn once? Yeah, we beat them in Knoxville. We beat Kentucky twice. Yeah, what does that mean? We always play well against Kansas. Beat them last year. Two or three years ago, we played them in Brooklyn,

went to overtime. That was our only loss until, like, February. But you can't really do that with college sports. I know, I know. I know. I know. I'm just saying. It's a culture.

Historically. The culture of Tennessee is typically superior to the culture of Kansas. Well, two years ago, we went to. two, Lawrence, and we weren't very good that year, and we still almost won. Like, we play Kansas well. I would love to play Auburn again. We beat them pretty handily.

But yeah, so then we'll win that one, and then it's Tennessee, Gonzaga, and Gonzaga always chokes in the Final Four, and we're going to win that one. Okay. I don't disagree that in the Final Four, in the championship game, if it were to come down to Tennessee, Gonzaga,

I like Tennessee. Too many people now, though, like seriously, people have been coming out to me, mean that man like y'all look great like Tennessee's the very trendy pick now and I hate that they've been playing well yeah I've been very hot big T likes the underdog cape you know what I mean he likes the way it fits I'm feeling you cares I'm with you yeah what's what's Tennessee I know you guys were hell at home this year but like how were you on the road uh we were 16 and no at home I think we were like seven and five in true road games that's not good that's not good

but these aren't yeah we're gonna do uh correct are we're gonna are we gonna do uh right are we're a uh a pod bracket yeah everybody do a bracket let's do let's do winter takes what's the what's the what's the what's the what's the what's the stakes are like 500 000 um let's see what y'all want to hear an absurd bet that that that i did yeah yes all right it was wild and it was because i was drunk but yeah one of my good buddies who's also done well for himself we're in mexico uh recently and um hella lit. And we just started talking ball. And he starts talking about John Morant. And I'm like, yo, love him. Love him. I was like, I think once he develops like his jumper, like on a consistent basis, he's going to be like goaded. And he's like, what are you talking about? He has a

jumper. I'm like, no, not really. And he was like, yes, he does. And I'm like, no, no, he doesn't. And we just kind of go back and forth. And I'm like, bro, you talk to me like, I don't like the kid. I love him. Like, I love his game. And he's like, no, he got a jumper. I was like, what did you think of his percentages? And then we started betting on percentages. And I was like, okay, bet a car. And he was like, he was like, bet. And so we bet a $100,000 car on this shit, drunk. And I won.

Oh, what kind of car? At first, it was a, it was an S-class Benz. Because that's what I wanted. I wanted the S-class Benz, but I was like, you know, fuck that. What I want now is a, either 6-3 or 64 Chevy. And I want to like hell of tricked out with, with Dayton's and how, you know, you're in Houston. them old school low lows no that's that's a west coast thing oh they got they got the they got

the boxes they got the the slabs i'm with the west coast like low rider that's what i'm gotcha if i win i want erian's car i'll get you if you win erian i'll get you a car okay but i'll buy you a car what kind of car a car matchbox a car it's gonna have four wheels At least two doors. It was, it was an obnoxious bet, admitted. That's the, oh, that's the, I've never do shit like that. What was the percentage that he thought John Moran shot? He thought, he thought, he thought he, he thought he shot over 35% over his career from three.

And I was like, there's no, what the fuck hell? I don't know. This year, he's shooting 34, I think. And that was the last time I checked. It might be a little higher, but he has definitely improved, don't be wrong. But, like, he's developing his jumper. My whole point was like, once he develops it on a consistent basis, he's going to be a killer because he has

everything else. I don't want him to turn into Westbrook and I don't want to disrespect Westbrook because I think he's one of the greatest acts of ever play. But I think his development of his jumper has not been up to par with his liticism. And I think that has hurt him and it's showing.

But anyway, it's an obnoxious bet, but it was funny. And I'm glad that I won. I'm glad you're going to. Yeah. We'll think of some stakes. But the bracket. Yeah, we need, we need, we need, that we need to do a bracket.

Well, when does it start? Because we got to fill it out soon. Starts for real Thursday. I'll set it up. I'll send it to y'all tonight. I like that. We'll sort out. We'll sort out with the limit.

How many brackets you in Big T? A lot. Yeah, that's a bad. You seem like a big bracket guy. Oh, yeah. This is going to be my only bracket. I'm in at least 10 groups. Do you do the same bracket?

No, I switch it up because, I mean, obviously, you know, if your one gets fucked, then you're screwed. Yeah. Yeah. I think I've filled out four so far. on the app and then I did one in PIN this morning. Because you've always, you got to write one down. Yep.

How about everybody here drinks, right? Yeah. Yep. How about winner? How about, how about winner gets a bottle of whatever the, uh, whatever that person drinks and everybody, everybody, everybody gives us a bottle of, of that person's favorite drink. Oh, that's cool.

Yeah. I like that. I like that too. I just happen to like Louis X13. I'm just, I was going to be. I'm joking. I'm joking. Aaron's like my favorite wine.

They found it in this crypt. Like Crystal? No, my favorite bottle is Camus, actually. Camus. It's about an $80 bottle. It's fair. That's the second time in two days that somebody has talked to me about Camus. What's going on with?

Is Camus? Oh, it's so good. Is it like a new? Is it just, no, no, no, it's not. Viral marketing? Yeah. What's going on here? All the coolest people I know,

Arian, yesterday, Mike Florio told me about it. how much how did you see his tweet this morning that was outrageous one of the more outrageous tweets I've ever seen in my life what is it what is he said like threat

like he was threatening someone or someone's threatened him he said I could tell you the gist I'd rather just find the full yeah I need the verbatim uh damn he tweets a lot he's been

Florida's been feeling himself recently yeah that's true I guess today is much busier and he's got a book coming out I think yeah yeah he's gonna be on on part of my take on Wednesday. Hang in there. I'm going to get to it eventually.

I mean, he's tweeted. I've gone through 50 tweets. Is he Bailey Carlin? He's still scrolling. Here it is. From 15 hours ago, this was at 10.30 last night. I've gotten some interesting, unsolicited, and hostile text messages tonight from someone with a recognizable name who at no point asked to go, quote, off the record.

I'm going to treat them as off the record as a courtesy to the person who has sent them even though I shouldn't. I don't have Mike Floreo's number. Can I tell you something? Hmm. I know who it is. Really? I know who it is.

Can we cut this from the show? I'm not, if we cut it, you have to cut it though. Tax it in the group. Actually, I know. I want to hear your guesses. Who do you think it is?

What is this about? Ryan, I have no idea. It's Roscella. It was Roscella. Seriously? No. What do you know what the texts are regarding?

I do know. Yeah. I know what it's all about. You? It was me. I was like, I was pissed off at Florio for reporting the Carson Winstrade. I was like, you piece of shit. Retract that. Asshole. I don't want to read any more of this dumbass join my team. Fucker. Listen here, fucker. A piece of shit.

No, it was not me. Do you actually know? I do know, yeah. I just, I'm enjoying watching you guys squirm a little bit. Is it about, like, free agency or something? Not necessarily. I've said too much already. Is it about football? I don't know why.

He's about football. I think I have a guess. Tom Brady. Not as to who it is, but about what it's about. Okay. That's not what. I'm not going to say. I'm not going to say on the air.

I'm going to. The name Donovan McNabb keeps popping up in my brain for reasons I don't know. It was not McNabb. This is bad radio if I'm not going to, if I'm not going to, like, share what the name was. But Flores has got to do that. he has to do the like he lives out in the middle of nowhere in west virginia he's got to really sweeten the pot to get anybody to come out to visit him he can't be like hey i've got some wine and then he show up and he's got a big ass bag of frownzia i i i flew it to pittsburg and then drove

two and a half hours to slap the bag why does he live all the way out there because he's from there right he's from that area and it's a beautiful house that he has and he's he likes that there with family. That's where his old family and friends are. I don't respect that about him. 100% pivot. Are you cutting your hair? No, I cut all of them.

Awful. Billy loves it. Oh, big team. Big team. We got breaking news. Wait, I just, I just got a text. We got a booed a shit out of that joke. That was a lot. Holy shit. Holy shit.

That was a reference to Billy's when we asked him about his hair and then Billy said no I give you the tips invisible I don't get my hair cut I give you I give you your flowers when you're brilliant that shit was bad all right wait what's going to give us the break of the uh the Braves just traded for Matt Olson which means Freddie Freeman ain't coming back gone I need to know I need to know what the packages for Olson because the Yankees were didn't want to trade for him because of how much it was going to cost so the price might have been different for the Yankees than for you. That's true, but like we have, I need to know what the package was. The good news is you guys are better without Ocuna, as we saw last year, right? So you can probably...

That's probably not true. You was probably included in the trade package. Stop. I mean, you won a World Series without the guy. Yeah, we would have won it more with him. We would have won it more quickly. You would have won more. We would have won more bigly with Ronald Ocuna.

Madelson's a good player, though. he's a very good player i actually like and he has years of control yeah he put up a tough spot he put up the same numbers as freddie last year and he's younger but this is tough this is tough this sounds this sounds a lot like you know jason bay's a lot like manny ramirez if you just look at their stats no no olson is a great player like he really is um it's just like you know i mean freddie's gone so like that he's not a franchise icon for the atlanta braves that's true i I'm not going to say I mean I did know

this was coming for a while like I knew Freddie wasn't coming back I mean it still sucks though What's the last team you want to see Freeman Sign with? I'm very curious what the reaction would be if he comes to Truest Park

as a Los Angeles Dodger I think that like now granted it is different that we we finally beat him and he won't Freddy owes the Braves nothing Like if the Braves were not offering what other teams were and he can go get more money and go home to play in California

like more power to you. I think that's great. But that's the one team that like we're like as big arrivals with the Dodgers as we are with like the Phillies and Mets. Like Braves fans hate the Dodgers. And like if we play them in the playoffs and he's playing in Atlanta on the team that like if it weren't for last year like we would still have a very big like I don't want to call it inferiority complex

but we've lost them in the playoffs so many times. And, like, for him to go over there, I think that would be the worst-case scenario. If he wants to go to the Yankees, like, go for it. I think those are the only two teams, really. That's all I know, unless he's going to San Diego, but I don't think that's on the table. I don't know shit about baseball, but I think San Diego has the best stadium. That shit's fire. I'm in Pittsburgh.

Is it still called Pekko? Yeah. It is. Is that the stadium that has, like, uh, all the foul territory, right? And just giant dimensions out to the outfield walls. Like pictures. You're thinking of Oakland.

Yeah, that's Oakland. I think San Diego's like that, too. Petco is not that big. It's not? No, you're thinking of Oakland. Okay. Now, old Petco did have a deep outfield. They moved the walls in, but that was like 10, 12 years ago.

Okay, yeah, that's probably what I'm thinking of then. Because I just remember, it used to be like an ugly, ugly ballpark, considering it was in San Diego. And they moved it all that. Yeah Yeah, so Want to Give Big Tee the opportunity

To wrap up the Tennessee minute I mean we're We're gonna go win the damn thing You gotta win six ball games No matter what CGR Let's go win it But now this is all that's consuming my brain Okay, we'll check in

Yeah, yeah check in later Check in on Big T's brain later I gotta blog this Yeah Big T doesn't stop A lot of people don't realize that Big T is actively blogging during many episodes of macrode it's appreciated yeah there you go colic you're welcome col i don't know if you've uh if you've checked out some of the heat that billy and i have coming

up we had a blog cooking that's that's going to drop tomorrow i i have a i have a suggestion because i've seen the the skeleton of it yep i think it's done i don't i don't think it needs words i would like it i'd like it presented as is i think it's a much funnier how i cut it up Yeah, I think as is, I think it's a perfect block. I think like, of course you could improve it, but I don't know by how I don't know how much you can raise the ceiling of it. Well, I pulled Billy aside this morning and I asked him because I wanted to write this blog, but I didn't want to do all the busy work that goes behind it. And it'll, it'll come out in a couple hours if you're listening at home. So I asked Billy to to do all the like loading into the back end of all the pictures and stuff.

And then I'm going to be doing a ranking of all. those images, Coley. And so we're going to rank them. There's already some commentary. I don't know if you approve the commentary. Let's just post that. And then you can do the update version tomorrow. You're trying to steal my blog.

Well, I did all the hard work. It was my idea for the blog and I gave it to you. My skeleton is, I think, a masterpiece. That's because it's what I told you to do. No. I mean, I don't think you could. Look what he's doing right now. I don't think you independently could create something like I just created.

Billy, it is what's happening. right now is I'm I'm an architect okay I've got this giant ass blueprint you're exploiting my labor and I said Billy what I would love you to do because I don't have the time to do it today is if you could just get if you could pour the the cement and the foundation or concrete I forget there's somebody out there that monitors me and gets mad whenever I say concrete instead of cement anyways I just want you to pour the foundation and here's how you in I've got the foundation mixed over here I got the truck to come out here's your hard hat here's a

cool vest that you get to wear. I'll pay you to show up for the day, pour the foundation. You just poured it. And now you're like, this is my house. I'm putting on the market. I've hired do. Do you have title insurance? Yes. No, you don't. I do. That's what's stopping what's stopping me from just claiming it. I guess you could. But yeah, it's in line. If you feel good about yourself just stealing another man's blog. No, it's my blog. It's not your blog. Don't ruin this blog. Have you guys ever heard of title insurance? It's going to be a very good blog that we will have worked on Billy in the spirit of of cooperation people enjoyed the the blogs from the road that we went on it was a great idea I'm I'm honestly glad that the little skeletons making

those who can see it right now in the back end laugh I'm I'm looking at it in the back and please just post it like how it is no no it's it's going to be it's so fucking funny oh shit well less context the better what I just I just sent me what what we're sending them. Langalears, he's like, he's going to be a star. I was perfectly willing to part with Pache. I'm not as high on him. Cusick and Estes, the, the pitchers, that's fine. Langalear sucks, though. I mean, that's the kind of guy you trade him for, though. That's fine. Whatever. Sounds like it's fine. That's, that's an authentic fan reaction to finding out about a trade right there. I would have rather traded Wilson Contreras, William Contreras, not Wilson.

I was going to say you do not have Wilson. Yeah, we have his brother, William. But whatever, it is what it is. All right, well, let's get to the meat of the show. A lot of talk about World War III in the news. A lot of people, Billy especially, was talking about World War III the other day, convinced that it's coming. I don't necessarily think that it's coming.

But let's do a draft. Let's do a draft of teams of countries that we would want. I feel like we should go with non-nuclear options because otherwise there will be certain individuals that end up with like the nukes are a game changer obviously if you get USA and Russia on your squad then you're going to obviously dominate because you got all the nukes in the world so we're going to get into the world war three draft but before we do it's brought to you by our good friends of better help are you stressed out are you thinking are you worried about the impending world war three well a lot of people are stressed about a lot of things

in their life right now and it helps to talk to somebody And if you have a relationship that you're in, a lot of us will drop anything to go help someone that we care about. We'll go out of our way to treat others well. But how often do we give ourselves the same treatment? You can't help somebody else unless you help yourself first. And this month, Better Help Online Therapy wants to remind you to take care of your most important relationship. That's the one that you have for yourself. I've gone to therapy before.

I was dealing with some loss in my life, trying to get over it, trying to work my way through emotions. Talking to somebody helps. It's good to have somebody to share your feelings with somebody. that can give you feedback and help you give you some tools to help get through things, make you feel better and you feel better about yourself, then you can help other people. So whether it's hitting the gym, making time for your haircut, or even trying therapy, you are your own greatest asset. So invest the time and effort into yourself like you do for other people.

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That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P. com slash dose. And you're going to get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp. Big T, you assign the order. What? what uh pft aryan coley billy is that it or on the show i i i seriously i have to blog this i'm recusing myself okay you're excusing yourself yeah i've already wasted too much you're dodging the draft sure don't you can call me a lot of things don't you can't call me

no he definitely put billy last though i don't know if there was any thing no billy's my god Billy's my guy. All right, so I guess I'll go first in this draft. I'm going to take... I'm going to take Russia on my squad. That's fucking asshole. They got thousands of nukes. They suck.

They said no nukes. Oh, we're going no nukes? That's what you said. Okay. It's your rule, bro. All right, I didn't know if you guys agreed to that. All right. Reverse.

My first pick, I'm going to go with Japan they don't even have an army they I'm sure they have a military no they literally don't have an army we literally are not allowed to they don't have any but I still would take them just based on how they fought in the past

no they I think they have a terror I think they have an island defense force but I don't even think they have a standing military I mean my hands off the piece you knew that you can build from scratch I kind of like that yeah listen I've got they've got raw talent

they're like I need to get them into a system and work with them they have you just took Tyrus Thomas you took a high upside athlete exactly like tremendous upside for Japan if you look back they have a proud military tradition they're undervalued right this is a money ball play billy okay you don't know anything about value you don't know anything about I mean probably would have taken them later on they get on base they get on base yeah Yeah, Japan's military among world's strongest looks to build Headline from ABC News

Dude, okay Anyway, today Japan has ranked fifth globally An overall military power after the United States And his defense budget ranks sixth in the 2021 ranking of 140 countries Apologize to me Dude, they don't have a proper military Apologize to me Billy The self-defense force, that's like a

They ranked fifth in the world I don't care Their expenditures were sixth in the world. Japan was disarmed after its World War II defeat, but a month after the Korean War began, U.S. occupation forces created a 75,000 member lightly armed de facto army called the National Police Reserve. Today, Japan has ranked fifth globally.

The self-defense force. You think that we're living in the year 1960. The angriest reading I've ever heard. I'm standing up for our Japanese listeners out there. Decent pick. That feel disrespected by Billy saying you said, you literally said they don't have a military. Wait, you think they're just an island and just hoping that nobody, they rely entirely on us. We have our bases there.

That's correct. Anyway, okay. Anyway, there it is. There's the, there's the, you got me. Anyway. All right. Who's up next? Aryan.

Yeah, man, about this draft, man. I'm anti-war, man. it's like you're muted I told a good joke too he laughed yeah that shit was an amazing joke I just told best ever actually but yeah I'm hell of anti-war man so it's like

I'm Googling countries without a military and the funny thing about it was they all owned by countries with military so it's like this shit is gross I don't know, man. I just go somewhere I like to kick it and let y'all fight it out. I'm going to Ruba. Drafting Aruba.

Oh, my whole draft, that's what I'm doing. Just pure convenience. I'm going there. You guys are going to come here, and then once you realize it's awesome here, we'll all chill out. Yeah, we'll kick it. Yeah, that's my draft strategy. All right.

fully. I'm going the opposite. I'm taking what I believe would be if they were considered a militaristic operation, the third ranked globally. And that's the NYPD. I'm taking the NYPD. They've got the budget to go toe to toe with anybody. We know they're vicious. We know they will attack. I'm taking the NYPD. What's stupid. Would you say, would you say NYPD is like one one for police force? If you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, I don't, I mean, who else, LAPD? Like, who else is even in the conversation?

Does, here's my concern. I, I don't recall ever seeing like an NYPD tank. Dude. I know a lot of police forces have, dude, have, dude, I know they've got the fucking robots. They've got robots. Dude, the NYPD has an international terrorist fighting task force. That's like, Massad level. Okay.

Yeah. I'm telling you in NYP. Really spilling secrets Well my next pick Israel They've got nukes No they don't Yes they do

They don't I don't think they technically You want to bet a car? Wait wait I'm obsessed with car bets now Do they actually have nukes? Oh fuck yeah I thought they always had secret nukes

And they just weren't telling anybody You thought that you were the only person That knew about No No no I always thought that like the whole thing was I think at some point like a little bit of car yeah they I thought they

had nukes but they weren't telling anybody that's what was like pissing saddam off all the time they're like they have nukes but like we gave them nukes we gave them the technology we help France also gave them nukes I would love to hear Billy's Israel Palestine take that would be fun oh boy

because you thought you thought you thought Saddam was mad at Israel because they were hiding nukes Yeah, just blog it, Billy Oh, yeah, blog the Israeli-Palestine conflict I'll go off I'm going to read that shit No, uh, it's actually crazy

A kid I played football with Just like he was older than me Now just in the Israeli military And he like posts Instagrams like It's just like what the like Yeah It's like they have a mandatory military service in Israel This guy's American though

I don't know what he's doing over it But if he's like a dual citizen with Israel Then they're they have mandatory military military crazy um yeah who's your actual pick bill okay so france might be the most low key nuclear power if you were to just like say what countries have their foreign legion is pretty i mean everyone says that france is a shitty military no that's just a joke because of like george bush they really didn't have an option in world war two their military was like decimated and they they made some strategic errors as well but they were not in a position to really fight back all

their guns pointed one way and then the planes bomb them did you know that duke the duke blue devils you know where they get the name blue devils there's a regiment in the french army called the blue devils oh and it's they're like the most french people they're like fucking killers and they're like elite psychos but they serve in the french alps and they uh i think they wear like blue berets and then they wear like a bunch of white camo and stuff but the rules for being in this elite level of the French military. It's so funny. One of the rules that they have is

you're not allowed to say the word red because it goes back to their longstanding rivalry against England and the roses of England. You can't say the word red unless you're describing the color of a wine or

your lover's lips. That's a real thing? Yeah, it's a real thing. I don't know if they like abide hard and fast. passed by it to this day, but that was a rule when the, when they started was, what is something about like the French Revolution writing in red? You know what? Okay, so let me think, um, you know who I'm going to go with? This is going to be controversial. I'm going to go with Cuba. Cuba, interestingly, has had two armies, two dual armies, one for overseas conference.

and won at home on the island. What have they ever won on the road? They're like Tennessee. The Angolan, the, dude, the, I had a winning record on the road. Cuba, Cuba had like a whole army in Africa fighting for communist forces, like, way back in the day.

Like, I think it was the Angolan War, I want to say. Okay. But like, like those wars that you just don't hear about. Mm-hmm. Like, I just don't, I don't know what they've done lately. Yeah, they're great at defense. You're not, no, dude, they were, they, you know how many people tried to kill Philadelphia?

castor over the years i think like they overthrew rhodesia all right so billy's taking cuba it's three-ass schedule it's not it's not a bad it's not a bad defensive pick because i don't think anyone's invading that island well they've attacked although we do have our military we have gitmo there yeah which is like that's very disrespectful not saying not taking aside in in the conflict but like just having your your biggest like most controversial

military base on one of your enemy's islands that's an all-time cuck job right there well they yeah so the Cuban intervention in Angola in 1975

so they've won on the road lately okay all right so it's a snake graft so we'll go back okay so I get two two I'm going to go with okay non-nuclear power I'm going to go with

the IRA motherfucker Yeah I'm going to go with the IRA Yeah IRA they You know that's that old saying Like one person's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter

Yeah Have you guys ever seen the Netflix movie Siege of Judatville? I have not seen that one I think that was also sort of involved In one of those Actually it was It was kind of wait

Let me look it up Like, as far as longevity goes, the IRA has been fighting for how many decades now? It's very, well, if, so I met this English guy who's in the English army, and I was talking to him about the IRA. And basically he said that after 2001, after 9-11, it became very unfashionable to fund a terrorist group, like the American, like everyone who is running guns for the IRA. That's a real crime of 9-11 is you can't. You can't send money to terrorists anymore. It's not, it's not cool. So, like, you know, all the people, all like the, you know, hurling clubs who were raising money for the IRA.

Stop sending money because terrorism wasn't cool anymore. Okay. All right. So Billy's taking the IRA. IRA also huge supporters of the Palestinian people. They always fly their flags. It's like a similar situation that they, that they've gone through. I don't honestly don't know enough about the.

the Northern Ireland, UK conflicts. I don't understand those. So I don't know whether or not to disavow the IRA. Please, somebody tell me what opinion to have so that the fewest people get mad at me online. Well, it's like a Catholic's first Protestant sectarian violence.

It gets murky. I find myself pro them in a lot of cases and then anti and others. But I feel like majority pro is where I lean. Okay. It's hard to get behind nail bombs. Yep, disavow those The best place

Is behind them, I would argue Yeah Correct All right, Coley I had the IRA Is my like sneaky third round That was going to seal me this draft But as I have

I've got a good board I like where the board is right now I'm going to take the Mexican cartel A huge pick They're They got I'm going to throw a flag on that one I'm a challenge

What? I'm a challenge that pick because you can't say the Mexican cartel. There's like six different cartels. Which one are you taking? Are we talking Sinaloa? Are we talking the Zetas? They might be the same. I don't know. But they're they're like multiple cartels. Sure. I'm not disagreeing with your right. However. No. It's treated as one in this country. He's like, if I asked you in this country by you, you're doing that right. If I asked you what's your favorite team and you said the AFC North. You literally have a jacket with all the patches on it. You do do. I just like the league. Just a fan of the league.

Yeah, I'm a fan of the league. I do also own several shirts that just say NFC Beast with all the, all the NFC East logos on there. You sure do. I mean, I'll allow it. I just want to challenge it. want to throw the flag out there according to to a map i believe trump drew up the sinoloa seems to have it's them and and like tierra caliente which is a very strong name i bet they could have some fire like starter jackets oh yeah terra caliente does that just mean hot land yeah the hot earth it's pretty

it's pretty badass yeah it's pretty strong uh hot earth they also have some bangers of of theme songs Of course Narco Traficante music It's like the happiest sounding music It's the like Tejano style With accordions You've got a brass section in there And they sing a very happy sounding song

But it's like the lyrics are And then the man came down From the mountains He had 30 grenades and five machine guns And slaughtered everyone All from Obama Fast and Furious All right

Arian I think for my second pick of the getaway draft. I'm going to go with the Cayman Islands. A lot of money. Yeah, yeah. It's not that I don't think they have a military per se, but they have like, you know, local enforcement, stuff like that to protect domestic things.

Yeah, Cayman Islands. Nice, nice place, beautiful views. they have some Kamus wine. I think that that could be your number one pick. You could, like, you could justify a first-round pick just based on the money that you'd have there. Well, I think all of my picks are going to be possible first-round picks because y'all are thinking, you know, like colonists, and I'm just trying to provide y'all with the place after you blow everything up

to come relax and realize your transgressions against humanity. All right. That's fair. So it's on me? Yeah. All right. I'm surprised this country

slipped to the second round. Taking Poland. There, yeah. Some crazy motherfuckers from Poland. Yeah, Poland. If you've met any Polacks, they've got all that built up angst from 300 years

of just people telling jokes about them. They're, they're great at, they're great in terms of like military defense. They held off the Nazis in World War II. Then they had to hold off the Russians also in World War two. Dude, they're who's, Winston Churchill used to write about how that whole stretch, Poland, including Ukraine, has just been like, uh, like, uh, a bat, what's it called? Like it's been a tennis, tennis game just back and forth and they're just literally the dormant between

But they're not They're not even really the dormant They're good fighters Yeah Their armies and air force Were outnumbered significantly And they held them off for a long time I actually think

Bear tamers Wochek Yeah Votchek Yeah Vodchek the bear Yep Was from Poland That's right Maybe the greatest military figure

Of all time Yeah Love Vogstek All right So now I've got I've got Japan and Poland and the United States. What am I taking with my last pick? Huh.

This is... Wait, I think... Is it my... No, it's a snake draft. So, for my last pick, I'm going to take Mongolia. Strong. Strong military history.

I mean, the hunt... Attila, the Hun. Yeah. Yeah, he, uh... And also just like a very good terrain to defend. Yeah. Now, we are sandwiched between China and Russia. So that's going to be tricky.

But this is non-nuclear powers. Yeah. So I like Mongolia. I was going back and forth. Should I take Mongolia or should I look to like Greenland, where they have the seed vault? I'd be an Australia guy here. Greenland is technically then Danish. It is Danish.

So you'd have to take Daneland? it's Iceland it's I sure no I'm not Danish I'm not sure about that actually didn't Trump try and just claim Greenland tried to buy it try to buy it yeah I tried to buy I'm on board for that by the way that was a wild I we should just try and buy more country like outright as opposed to just like taking them over we haven't really expanded yeah we've really I mean that land's really undervalued right now with global warming everything yeah that's gonna that's me popping off soon it's going to be the new new Cancun yeah is Greenland

Greenland is filled with ice but Iceland is very nice Mighty Ducks too from Gunner All right Aaron who do you got My last pick I'm gonna go with Costa Rica

Good choice Although I don't know much about military strategy I feel like Costa Rica would be one of the easiest countries to invade all that's the point of my countries that's the whole point of my draft is we ain't trying we don't want no parts of this shit

we just want to chill it's such a beautiful place that maybe once they invaded all these countries that you have the armies would just be like fucky let's let's just hang out just kick it man why are we over here killing people I could go snorkeling with these sea turtles

that's pretty that's pretty badass that's the thing is we have sea turtles and Miracad and a whole bunch of cool shit. That's just in that fight, man. All right. Billy. I'm going to go.

Coley. Coley. We've been talking a lot about schedule. Who have they played? I'm taking an SEC power. I'm taking Georgia. That's huge. I mean, much like PFT, it's in a tough spot,

but we've seen them battle up against the Sabins of their time. Like they're still independent. They're still doing their own thing. Yeah. Is that where the Numagumar revs are from? No, no, that's, that's Chechnya. Are they from Chechnya? Dagestan, which is Dagestan, it's a Russian republic.

Georgian food is delicious, by the way. Is it? Yeah, there's a very good restaurant here. It's like in Midtown, I was just like trying to find a cuisine that I've never had. It's like bread, meat, cheese. Very hearty. Dude, you know, you know who has amazing food and who does, I think, the best rotisserie chicken in the world, the Uzbeks. The Uzbeks, that's chirping chicken. The Uzbeks do a mean chicken. They like, they make sure you can get it like extremely juicy. Like, there's, you can order it like extra juicy, like a whole

rotisserie chicken. I literally probably ate a hundred rotisserie chickens training to fight Jose Gonseco. And I tried many. And the Uzbeks did it best. You do eat it a lot. Yeah. Good. Yeah, good call. Uzbek chicken's delicious.

All right. So, Billy. I'm going to go with the Mounties. You're going Canada. I'm going Canada. No nukes, but the Mounties. Just like their red.

coats and horses hats the hats are are pretty nice yeah I like the hats are the mountains uh are the mounties like

I don't know I just always get the feeling like Canada is too friendly to have well you see what they did to those truckers I did see the Mounties fucked up some protesters also Canadian forces were at D-Day yeah Juno and Sword beaches people forget that yeah they had a hand that they had we gave them the I don't want to say the easy beaches, but they didn't have Utah and Omaha.

Didn't we have a convoy here? What's the status with that? Yeah, we did. I don't know what they were. Oh, the D.C. I don't think they knew what they were trying to accomplish. They just clogged up the Beltway. They just got stuck.

But they didn't. Elway was already clogged. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they ran into, uh, they got bogged down. We in D.C., the Beltway is like our version of the, uh, the Great Wall of China. Like, you can get on it and try to clogged. it up but you can't you can't clog it up any more than it already is but I saw that

there was a convoy in fact when we were driving from Madison down to Indianapolis after the the Wisconsin game we're going to the combine me Big Cat Hank and Bubba were on the road and there were like people waving flags and stuff from the overpasses welcoming the convoy they were like cheering us as we were driving underneath these overpasses and we were looking around and we just we didn't notice any convoy i think it was something that people saw was happening in canada so they tried to do it here in the united states but they didn't have like a list of demands i think their list of demands was just like relax on vaccine mandates but the government the federal government isn't yeah

before before they got there they released a lot they uh let up a lot of the mandates i don't think they caused it i think it was just general yeah regression yeah if i had a pick in this draft it would been the convoy without a doubt convoy to the bunch of truckers absolutely who's stopping them I mean it is real it is a real thing I think they were just like tremendously disorganized

because I think there were like there was no universally accepted leader of the convoy so it was just a bunch of different Facebook groups that got together and tried to do their own convoy for freedom and then there became like infighting about what the convoy represented

because there was no leader of it That's almost good, though. There's a lot of deception in that group. You don't know what's going to happen. Honestly, should, I mean, not for like any, like, political reasons, but it would be pretty sick to start a convoy. Yeah. I would call, yeah, like, I'd call our trip across the country a convoy of one.

Yeah, convoy of one. I think that when it comes to, when it comes to, like, trucking and interstate commerce, yes, if the truckers wanted to do something and they all acted as one, they could absolutely shut down. I mean, they shut down Canada. Did you see they interviewed like a bunch of people in Canada and they said that they're like, they still have like phantom honking in their ears like they can't get it out of their head. I'm like, oh my God. This can't be real.

I mean, I bet there's like some people with PTSD from that because they are honking a lot. Problem with convoys have had a bad couple months. We should have like that. You've got the Canadian one, the one in DC that didn't really materialize. And Avery was stuck in one for a couple weeks in eastern Ukraine. 40 miles? Yeah. Yeah.

And then there was that other convoy that the Ukrainians blew up, killed another general. By the way, being a Russian general right now seems like a tough gig. I think three of them have gotten killed recently, which is, it's a big deal. Like, their generals are like rock stars over there. So from what I heard, the Russian military has really gone a ways down because a guy who, So Putin had the head of the army, he was some dude who's actually being a hard ass and like actually trying to improve regulations and trying to hold the oligarchs that supply a lot of the weapons to them accountable being like, hey, give us good shit. Like don't just sell us bullshit AKs that like don't fire like some of the old rations because like that's how the oligarchs all make their money. They're just basically huge government contractors.

So that guy ruffled too many feathers, uh, the head of the army before. so then Putin put in a yes man and this guy's just letting all the oligarchs sell them bullshit stuff just letting everybody you know he's a yes man he's been in uh I think this guy's been the head of the army and been in the Russian politics for like a super long time and he's been able to do that because he's such a yes man and like just doesn't ruffle any feathers so anyway this guy who's in right now the government the army's gone to shit for Russia and that's why they're not doing so There was also a, there was a case of one oligarch that just today was spotted in the Tel Aviv airport, like leaving from Russia. They're, they're selling Putin out.

I think Putin's days are number. He doesn't have a lot of friends left anymore. Really? I think so. I don't know. I'm not an expert. I'm not an intelligence guy. I haven't been following this stuff very close to.

Garasimov. Valery Garosimo is the new head of the Russian army and he just has let it go to shit. Yeah, I mean, all it takes for me is just looking at the pictures of Putin at his giant tables. How many big ass tables does this guy have? Well, he just wants to keep everyone away from him. Yeah, because he's afraid of COVID. Well, they're afraid that someone's going to shoot him.

I mean, if you were in the Russian government right now and close to Putin. That's not a good sign. Like if you're leading a war and you're just afraid to be at a normal size table with anybody else I saw a headline that Putin might be on steroids. I saw that recently. All right, Billy, analyzes his nipples. Bring up a picture of his nipples. You know, honestly, I bet he's a fan of the clear and the cloudy.

He's, I mean, he's juicing up all the Olympians, so. He's on that Russian gas. He's on that Russian gas. Look at a picture. He's got a puffy face and they're saying that he might be on stair. Like, this is independent of me saying, like, it's definitely not true. I've also seen things saying that people think he has Parkinson's. I don't know

Was it on TikTok? They think he's very ill That was a yes I've been I'm telling you I've been On TikTok quite a bit For the last couple weeks

It's amazing how many Just blatant lies People are telling on TikTok People are gonna make fun of me now Because I got it on TikTok But they were Analyzing a video Of him

Yeah but you can say anything Like If somebody's doing a video Looking at their camera There's two things Two ways that you can tell Someone's probably full of shit if they're like in their car

screaming at their phone he wasn't in his car this man wasn't in his car that's one the second is if they've got like that tiny little microphone that they hold up like they pinch it like the lav mic they pitch it and they're pointing up above them like now look at this

look at this mark on the wall behind Putin and they're like getting really into it I'm like okay this person's full of shit yeah someone in the if you're in the Russian government you listen to macrodosing can you please shoot Putin well Billy's committing war crimes That's not a war crime

I think it is You and Lindsay Graham might get along It's his constitution I think I think Lindsay would love Billy I think no we That's you guys want Putin to live I didn't say that You guys are sounding pretty pro Putin

Right you can't Would you would you murder him If you had the opportunity Uh No he wants someone else to do it Yeah You all fucking huff dog Yeah I know I think of

Would you kill baby Putin Dude, I found this story online about how Putin was like, Putin is like party. Yeah, yeah, would you, would you kill the baby? Dude, what would you rate baby? I think it's, I think it's, I think Putin is on like number one on the kill list, like, pretty popular opinion to kill Putin. Okay. Would you kill baby, bro? Use a little baby with his little fleece diapers, you know, bald up fists.

We know, are you often because Aryan hates babies. I wouldn't. I bet you he was an ugly fucking baby, though. That's one of my favorite new things is Arian just rating the appearance of babies. What does it cap out for you? Right. Six. Six.

Babies cannot be a past six. And now my mentor is just full of babies and dogs because I rated a dog, too. Do you think they don't get. Do you think your kids were six out of tens? Yes. Babies are like, listen, babies, they just, they, they think about it. Like, if you was in water or something like water for, not. months, you would be wrinkled and gross and disgusting, like, and it takes a while to, like,

get ugly to wear off. Yeah, like, she's ugly, dog. It is ugly. And so people get mad, but your baby's ugly. I'm sorry. My baby was ugly, too. And now, you saw her, my daughter now, she's four years old. She blossomed out of it. Gorgeous creature. Most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on. But when she was born, I was like, yo. Figure it out. Yeah, figure that out, dog. And she did. Yeah, I noticed that nobody took Germany in our draft. I guess you can't.

I don't have dukes. Germany's got a little soft, low key. Can't really trust them much. Yeah, that whole Holocaust thing, it kind of softened up a little bit. Well,

no country more wants a World War III than Germany because they just, they're itching for a dub. They want to be on the winning side for once. Third time's so bad. Yes, that's true. Speaking of Nazis,

you know who was a big. Big time Nazi? John Wayne. Walt Disney. Walt Disney was. Maybe. Dude, he literally had that lady. I looked into it all this morning and like Walt Disney, definitely big time Nazi.

Do we want to save the Disney stuff and the SeaWorld stuff? Because I feel like right now we've got. It's too far in. We've already got two hours. We're already an hour and a half in. This show can just be, I can re-entro the World War III draft. I don't think you ever said anything about Disney. Because that, yeah, that can be a whole thing.

This conversation can be basically the entire episode. Yeah. I feel I feel like we should say, well, we're going to do Disney, but now we're just in. How long do these usually, how long do we usually macrodose for? Two to three hours? Yeah. We're already an hour and a half in and we haven't even done. Yeah.

Yeah. I feel like this was the longer winded banter that we've had. Yeah. So we'll do. This will just be the drafting World War III. Yeah, the episode will just be World War III. draft draft yeah

is Germany not there don't have any nukes we didn't allow that they know no no what do we look like suckers how does

France gets one and they're like maybe just we get one we're like no great the great

philosopher bush said fool me fool me can't get fooled again how long do they have to wear that for

objective like how long is Germany the Hitler country. The scarlet letter. Yeah. The scarlet age. How long was I going to wear that?

I honestly think that. Scarlet age. So hopefully it doesn't come to World War III. It was pretty recent though, bro. If Putin drops. For sure. If Putin drops nukes, if he uses nukes, I feel like Putin becomes like he's the new bad guy that everyone points to him, be like, this is the evilest person that we've seen

in a long time. I mean, especially if World War III. does happen god forbid but then that's that's a different story how does our our nukes ever justify that's a good question in there is an argument for the loss of life comparatively from the bombing in uh hiroshima nagasaki would have prevented a lot more deaths from happening instead of doing a full scale uh because the plan was if we weren't going to nuke Japan was to do a full scale invasion of the island of Japan and that sort of island to island fighting was having like the largest casualties like if you've ever seen the document not the

documentary but the the the series the Pacific on HBO that was supposed to be like the band of brothers for the Pacific theater the fighting in the Pacific was from what it's been described and like all the books I've read was so like no like no one's seen that that type of warfare. I think the estimation for the invasion of Japan was something like 400,000 United States casualties. Yeah. If we had tried to invade the entire island on our own.

Now, you can also go back and look at what we were doing that wasn't nuclear in Japan, like the firebombing of Tokyo. Pretty sure that killed more people than the atomic bombs did. Yeah. And the fire bombing of Dresden that we did as well, like that's, that's brutal shit. Yeah. So it was just like carpet bombing. And the way that the buildings are built in in Tokyo, they're not Soviet brutalism. They're made mostly out of wood. And so there was a wind and all the fire just spread like super, super fast. A lot of people died over there. So like that was, you could say that that was worse in certain ways than the atomic problem. Now when it comes to actually using the weapon, that did open up a whole thing where it's like, okay, now now everyone's going to try to get nukes. now we're in the situation that we're in.

You could argue that nuclear weapons have actually, like the past, you know, since World War II, relatively, the world's been, for the rest of its history, comparatively, has been pretty peaceful. Because of deterrence. Because of mutual destruction. Yeah. Mutually assured destruction. Yeah.

It's, it kind of has made people like a little bit scared to start anything, especially the big countries with the big militaries. no one wants to do anything because then it's just okay we're going to launch ours okay we're going to launch ours are you talking about like big countries two big countries yeah okay because there's been wars going on non-stop since right but comparatively to the rest of history nothing of the same scale as world war two we haven't had a conflict that has resulted in how many millions sure yeah yeah sure Yeah But like wars have gone on non-stop

Right Big T You got draft your countries I don't know who was taken Okay well Can I have my last pick Did you not take You already took the last pick I thought

No no I only did three I got one more It was back to back right No you did it all Billy Oh we only did three of those four Yeah no you picked Cuba IRA in the mountains We can go back we can do four Yeah, now we can be four

I want to do Nepal I went to Gurkhas Okay According to the British military They were some of the most The fiercest fighters ever The Nepalese Gurkis Very tough to invade as well

Yeah With the altitude They Their whole philosophy is that they're trapped Between the tiger and the dragon And the dragons China The Tigers India So they have like

A huge warrior Mentality There's some Nepalese people are some of the toughest people in the entire world. I knew one of my, my aunt's really good friends growing up is a Nepali's guy named Searing. And this dude was probably five foot three, still is. He's a lot. Five foot three weighed 110 pounds and was like the strongest person that I've ever seen. I used to work when I was selling Christmas trees. He would come by and help sell Christmas. He would pick up like three at a time, toss him on the car,

roofs. Dude was insane, insanely strong for his size. He took, Billy took Israel, right? Israel is not draftable. It's got nuke. Oh, why is that? They have nukes. Secret nukes. Billy discovered their nuclear facilities. Got it. Does South Korea have nukes? I don't believe that they do. I feel like they've done a pretty good job defending themselves. Yeah. I'd like them on my side. Okay. Who else?

is Serbia is its own oh I dude the root of all the world's problems starts with the Serbs I don't know what their military is looking like quite a statement no seriously the root of all the world's problems yeah all of them all of them it's all the black hand defending the pick and roll

Serbs no I mean I'm actually my grandmother is Serbian this is where Billy apologizes for sorry blaming everything quite literally everything on one country yeah well they kind of started everything with world world one yeah i don't know what the serbian like military's looking like but uti has a seven foot big man from serbia and he just looks like a guy that i don't want to fuck with so and i feel like they've got a lot of those over there yep so so i i like them

i think they're one of the tallest people i believe it in the world udo plavsitch look out for him in the tournament he's he's a he's a good player he can't his free throws but he'll he'll bang down low who else do I want it? You get both the Jokish brothers That's true And yeah That's what I'm saying like It's just a bunch of dudes

You don't want to fuck with Yeah Yeah dude And Who's my last country Can't have nukes Two more countries Two more

Four Um I don't know Come back to me So So a Gurkha In Afghanistan Was outnumbered 30 to 1

And kill Against the Taliban and he 30v won them solo. Is this in war zone? Is this like some ghost of Kiev shit? No, this is real. This is, he was in the British military. In one case, defeating Taliban ambush as well outnumbered 31.

Okay. You beat up 30 dudes by himself. Yeah. At the same time. Exactly. It was crazy. All right. All right, Coley, you called cap on it?

Super cap. Here, I'm going to send, I'm going to send you guys. a link there's a YouTube video oh it oh they filmed it yeah I think they got I think they got a GoPro definitely about to look at this they got a go he had a he had a he had a he had a GoPro all while he's getting attacked by 30 cats this cat already I love it all right Cooley I'm going to take the 2000 Baltimore Ravens defense all right I get Ed Reed I get Ray Lewis it's all I really get Chris McAllister Tony Syracuse or the goose

anyone who can carry Trent Dilfer to a win to a ring I like them on my side it's a good pick some of their stats are incredible about just how many points they scored they went into each game

knowing that they were going to have to at least get one touchdown on defense yeah that's it and they were good and they were comfortable that was the Super Bowl two against the Giants

I think there were three touchdowns in like 40 seconds because they both just kept returning kickoffs against each other like what a game what a what a team i'm going to go with aaron donald solo just he doesn't have the dexterity remember errin donald is the goat he doesn't have the hip flexibility no no he's going to be the best unless he has to throw a grenade he could ironically couldn't run the army

offense but could be in the army he could do it 30 he can 30 v one got here yeah that's top tier top tier joke right there thank you he's getting 30 teamed He's 30. You got about a double team. But yeah. All right. Good pick. Good pick.

Ari. You got another island? Oh, yeah, man. There's a couple I can go with here. But Greenland. Just to switch it up, you know. I got a lot of places in the, along the equator. Let's go north a little bit just to have like a little.

vacation home up there in case I want to feel cold a little bit you know I like that is it cold up there yeah it's very cool seed vault again you got the seed vault up there in booze in greenland yeah there's a lot of uh genetic alcoholism amongst the greenlandic population okay that's just one of those facts I know about greenland for some reason just one yeah what other facts do you know about greenland um it's not green that's true Oh, something I learned about Iceland is that any polar bear, it's illegal for polar bears to be in Iceland, they will be shot on site. I think that's a good law. Just shooting polar bears on site.

Yeah, because you can't, you can't reason with the polar bear. Yeah. Well, why do you frame it like, it's the polar bears that are breaking a law? Because they know the rules. Unbeknownst. It's illegal for polar bears to be there. be shot on site like they know what it is though what if we told you people last time we saw you around here we don't like you you got the anti polar bear mandates in effect yeah

asking for their papers all right my last pick this is a tricky one i might i'm thinking about going switzerland you said you want germany two seconds ago i don't want germany i talk myself out of it i think i think cooler heads prevailed on that one that's it i think i think got to go Switzerland just it worst case scenario just move everybody to Switzerland and you're not in a war anymore everyone's cool with that also you got a lot of money there just like arian is doing with the Cayman Islands you get a big war chest worst case scenario you just kind of you hang out in the mountains for a while go skiing do you know that they had the highest gun over ship per capita I have heard that yeah they they I think it's I think every single Swiss person

has to have a gun in their house or something like that you got great knives it's a great law solid knives over there can i saw georgia is that mandatory it's on the books it's not enforced anymore but yeah every household has to own a firearm there's all sorts of exemptions and like it's not actually yeah like if you don't want one yeah but it is it is on the books i don't know that there's a lot of people in kennelsaw that don't want one no you have to have a gun again it's not like they're not checking but it is a law that's on the books yeah so estimated number of civilian guns for captive by country switzerland has 27 point oh we we still are the raining we have about 120 of firearms per 100 people the falkland islands has wait i know i know a dude with over 50 guns

yeah there's a lot people who got them got a fuck is wrong with you people don't have well there's not a lot of people with one gun it's like a zero or or a lot of it's like animals like reptiles like people are y'all got guns or you're going to new york y'all can't have guns i used to have a gun you've told that story yeah i used to have a gun surrendered it legally anonymously oh yeah that's pretty so used to be gun owner um yeah you're you're right like i feel like what 120 million guns in the united states uh us 120.5 guns per 100 people oh so it's like 500 million yeah it's there's more guns than people

Yeah, there are. Falkland Islands also has a ton of guns. I think those are left over from the Falkland Wars. Mm-hmm. And then Yemen, big on gun ownership. New Caledonia, it's got a lot of guns, 42.5 per 100. I feel like Chile would be a good country to support, too, because they've got, they've been able to defend that tiny little sliver. They've got the entire Pacific Ocean.

Yeah. And Argentina is so much bigger than them. And they're right next door and they've just managed to be like, no, we get the beach. Now, there's been some crazy wars in South America that we don't hear about. Like in the 17, 1800s, like between Chile, Brazil, Argentina, they had a couple big ones. Bolivia would be a good country. Anything with the rainforest. I think Ecuador would be a good country.

You talk about altitude. Pretty much the entire northern part of Ecuador is like almost twice as tall. as Denver is it's like two miles high and then you go down and you get the rainforest and then you have the Galapagos out off the west coast hmm um which is just a fun place to go chill guanas yeah guanas you've got the sea lines boobos marinos the boobies you've got the blue footed boobies you've got killer whales out there you've got the only penguins north of the equator finches a lot of finches a lot of finches tortoises yeah that's the place where um where uh Darwin really had his epiphany about how evolution really happened.

If anybody out there is looking for a for a sneaky good vacation, I highly recommend the Galapagos. So much fun. I want to go back. I went there like 10 years ago. One of the best weeks of my entire life. Did you see a giant tortoise? I did. I saw several.

Yeah. Do you see church? They were massive, massive tortoises. They were probably like, I don't know, I'm guessing 500 to a thousand pounds. each they move around like dinosaurs super slow they have no defense mechanisms besides their big shell but they're just so big that nobody fuck they don't have any natural predators on the island i did not meet lonesome george in fact so lonesome george was a i want to say a pinta island tortoise yeah a specific subspecies he was the last of his kind and uh he was like a local

celebrity everybody that grew up on the islands if you wanted to get into tourism or He had to spend at least a couple of months looking after Lonesome George, taking care of him, shoveling his shit, feeding him, et cetera, et cetera. I went there. That was one of the things that I really wanted to do was see Lonesome George. I was going to go see him on the third day, I think, I was there. And our tour guide pulled over to the side of the road as we're driving down from one of the tortoise, like, sanctuaries that they have on the island. He pulled over to the side of the road. He started crying because he just got a phone call.

Lonesome George, the oldest tortoise of his kind, died the day before I was going to see him. I mushed Lonesome George. He was like 120 years old, I think. I think he was a little older than that. He was very old. And the entire island went into mourning for Lonesome George while I was there. Wasn't there? I think there was a tortoise that people said had been around from the time of Darwin.

Let me look that up. It could have been George. I think George might have been one of those tortoises. we love so when the Europeans got to the Galapagos Islands they just started eating the fuck out of all those giant tortoises they're like they just got there they're hungry and they're just like let's just start eating tortoise well you know what else they did because the tortoises were um they had a very slow metabolism so they could go without eating for a long time when the ships were going back to their native countries they would take these tortoises and they would bring them on the ships and they would flip them over onto their backs because they can't get off their backs are too big and they would stay alive for months at a time on their backs on these ships at sea and then they could kill them when they needed meat and they'd eat them it was like a portable food source for them and so that's what got rid of a lot of them but yeah they also don't like fucking that's one thing also about those tortoises

tough to make them breed uh big tea your last choice yeah so coli took NYPD right So I'm going to take the collective of New York City crackheads. You just drop me in Ukraine with all of, like, just go up and down 7th Avenue, get me a nice little, a group, and we're going to go, we're going to go fuck shit up. Do you think that they would follow your lead? I think that's their beauty. I think you just let them, they're on their own. Now, would you control How?

It's like picking 10,000 rats You pick 10,000 rats basically Which is a good pick Yeah, I'm not to interject Y'all gonna stop calling a crackcase rats, man I'm bugging right now I didn't say that that was I said that very

Do you not know the 10,000 rats conundrum? Nah, I don't want to know it right now No, you would like this It's it's picked two The rest are coming to attack you And it's like you get like two eagles Or 10 gorillas

or like five ox or 10,000 rats. Chaos. We picked chaos. When you see, actually see 10,000 rats like it's hard to pick against them. I'm with Aryan though. They're people. Nah. Rats is strong.

And has negative connotations. You are picking crack heads to go fight in a way. What are we talking about? I didn't. I stand by it. We don't. I'm laughing because from the jump. You haven't known a cracker?

Have I known a cracker? No, I've had one hit me with a fucking crutch on 7th Avenue, though. That makes sense, though. That makes sense that you know, you ain't never nobody is addicted to crack. Yeah, let's, let's lay off, you know, addiction is a serious problem. I agree. That shit crazy, bro. Can't call them rats.

Now, do you think, um, that was not me. The whole thing. A crackhead will rat. Let's not act like they won't rat. for crap so what about what about this idea if we're going to get problematic let's get problematic with it now there's a there's a song by no effects that came out like 10 years ago and it's just about the idea of instead of sending the Marine Corps over to Afghanistan where it's a very sexually repressed country where you're not even allowed to look at a woman

a lot of times they don't they don't see really a woman until they get married or they don't see like a woman's skin woman's body and it it manifests itself in some very strange ways sometimes when you when you willfully repress sexuality from your entire nation what if there was a volunteer force i'm saying strictly volunteer of uh of female soldiers who were prostitutes that would go overseas and instead of weapons they're like let's fuck I'm pretty sure that any country we invaded with like the hottest women ever that were like hey I wanted we're going to we're going to take these guys and show them a good time I'm pretty sure every country would just lay down their weapons and be like you know what life is pretty good

everyone's getting laid constantly this is fun let's not why would you want to start a war if everybody's fucking actually there's a there was a study yes there was a study that actually talked about how um the influx of oil money into the middle east caused a phenomenon where the bride tax got raised so high because so many of these uh guys who like got a son influx of money just started getting more wives that there weren't enough wives for everyone so you have a bunch of young men who are unable to pay the bride tax to get a bride this I mean it's a really fucked up, you know, talk about objectifying women. It's really

fucked up for practice, but you can like buy a wife. So there was a bunch of dudes who couldn't afford wives anymore because every, you know, guys who used to have just like five wives when got 20 wives, because they just got more money so they could afford more wives. And then, you know, in the end,

there was a bunch of dudes who couldn't get wives and that's why it would cause a lot of you know, discourse. They can't get late anymore. Maddo, you're about to say something. Um, so wouldn't that only work, though, like that strategy in those sexually repressed countries, what happens if it's like World War III? And like you have people like Canada and France and England who they can fuck whenever. That would be tough.

That would be tough. That might be a loophole in the plot. But I mean, if you take down, let's say one of these sexually repressed countries is powerhouse, all-star army. And you take them down with that, that leaves a gap. I just think that in reality, if most of the people that are in charge of starting wars and fighting in wars, if everybody's getting laid, they're... It makes a lot easier. They're probably not going to want to risk their lives for anything because they're like, life is pretty good. Also, how easily...

So let's say you would in Afghanistan, right? Yep. Let's say you go in Afghanistan and you're like, hey, we have all of the women you could possibly want. How easy do you think it would be for them or for you to get them to actually have something? sex with them. I don't know. It might be tough because they might just kind of. They're like so devout. They might yeah, warn them like, hey, they're going to try to get you to have sex. But I think that I think at the end of the day, uh, they're committed to the, well, the natural urges might take over a little bit. You think? Or what if, what if the woman go in, have sex with them and then

just like kill them at the end. There you go. The black widows. Yeah. We'll send the black widows in half of them. Yeah. Okay. Now I'm going to add one extra element to this draft. It's going to be an animal, but you get all those animals in the entire world. So not just one animal, like one species. You get to add a species to your draft. So we'll start with Billy because I'm sure that Billy knows his answer. I, it's going to be. I'm going to go. It's going to sound crazy, but the animal with the largest biomass on earth is ants. Okay. So they're like pound for pound.

There are more like insects and ants than there are any other animal. Okay. So how would they fight for you though? They'd eat people alive. Okay. You could probably see them coming though. Yeah, but the only way to stop like red ants is. by digging a ditch and filling it with gasoline and lighting on fire because they just won't stop marching.

Not the only way to stop ants. Fire ants, army ants? What? You can step on them. Yeah, but not when they're coming. Have you seen red ants, um, fire ants? I think Aaron makes a compelling point that it's not the only way. Nah, bro, the only way to stop marching fire ants is like to do that.

They'll just keep walking through everything. Like, if you're a fire ant or another kind of ant, yeah, maybe. But like, not if you're a giant to those ants. What about a river? They'll march right through the river. They will? Yeah, they'll float. Let me figure this out.

Okay. Well, I think Billy already took ants. So that's Billy's choice. I mean, that's like the smartest choice, but I would love polar bears. Okay. We'll put that as a note. He took fire ants, but he would love poli's choice. polar bears too.

I don't think there are enough polar bears. I know, that's why I was good. They're all starving. Yeah, we got to beef them up first and I think they'd be A1. Okay. Big T. I looked up how many tigers there are in the world. Not that many, right?

There's only 13,000 and 8,000 of them are captive, so they're, they're kind of bitches. There's more tigers in Texas than Asia. That's a shockingly low amount of tigers. Yeah. Not a lot of tigers. I got to remember They're... Well, you got to remember

they're solo hunters So it's not like there's a pride Lions don't really have numbers problems Because they have prides Whereas tigers are lone There's only 20,000 lions In the world 20,000 animals

I mean I I feel like 20,000 lions Can take on A couple million of most other animals, right? Not fire ants Yeah, I mean Yes You have a legit

case right there. Yeah, I think that ants can take out a line. Yeah. I also think that lions take each other out too. True. I'm assuming that we're working as a cohesive unit. Okay. All right. Give me 20,000 lions and let's ride. Let's just see what happens. Okay. It's not a bad pick. Coley? So I've brought this up for a many different podcast now. So people listening, I'm sorry if this sounds repetitive. Along the lines of Billy's thinking, there are, according to Google, 21 quadrillion spiders on Earth right now. Now, you've got the numbers that ants have, but you also have poison. Like, Billy only has fire ants that he can lean on. There are so many different types of venomous

spiders, big spiders, little spiders, spiders that jump. Spiders that parachute up and down the East Coast this year. Spiders are a real problem. Their biggest problem is their lack of leadership. They're not connected. They don't, they do not have a leader that they, if spiders wanted to, they could get us up out of here tomorrow with the right leadership. We're lucky they don't have that. However, in this army that I'm commanding, they're falling right in line with the NYPD.

Give them a little badge, eight guns, come on. Oh, eight guns at once. Yeah, it's good point. Arguably, Spider-Man was working for the NYPD. Yeah. That's true. Also, the webs. It would just get annoying. I don't care who you are. I don't care how tough you are. If you're like, if you're making your way through a dense forest and you're just covered in spider webs the entire time, you freak out. Yeah. You have to because you don't know where the spider is. You don't know what kind of spider it is. Like spiders are fucking shit up. I'm just, I'm just saying how overwhelming would it be to have a whole bunch of ants coming marching at you and there's just nothing you can do? Except for dig a ditch and then like. If I've got spiders marching directly at them, I feel pretty comfortable. I think this the spider versus ant war would definitely be something to see. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. That would be something to see. I'd watch that. No, but then, but then you got like one ant could kill you. One ant could crawl into your ear, nibble on your spinal cord or your neurons and kill you. That's like, I just might be sending, I might not even send the ants as a group. I just might drop off little ants, little places to kill Putin. Billy, what's that I think it might be a bacteria

What's the thing in Brazil that swims up your pea stream Oh, those That's a fish Yeah The penis fish might be a sneaky good pick here You just hide them in like toilet bowls for your enemy Jumps jumps up out of the toilet bowl All right Aaron

Who do you got? Panda Just chilling it was definitely going to be a Dossile creature I was thinking about something on land that was friendly, but I don't really fuck with animals in general. So I'm going to have something surrounding that I can come and say, what's up to every now and then on my island of peace?

Orkers. I'm just going to have a whole bunch of orcas surrounding the, and we're going to keep it nice and cohesive. We're going to have packs. We're going to enjoy each other. We're going to continue our bond as an orchard and human because there's never been an orca that has killed a human in the record. anywhere that wasn't in captivity, right?

They was just fighting for their freedom. So, yeah, it's a nice, peaceful, docile animal that is just going to protect our island and we're just going to have a peaceful little time over there. It must be hard for you to find a peaceful animal when the nicest one on earth you despise. We're talking about dogs? Yeah.

They're not nice. What are you talking about? Knock it off. Dogs are not nice. What the fuck is you talking about? about this guy extremely friendly fellows

okay I'm gonna y'all are fun you know this is funny about dog owners y'all you forget

that them motherfuckers you forget that they do not forget that and the only reason why

they like you is because you give them food and you give them in a nice little can fucking meat it's all

cute and all that whatever as soon as that what that motherfucker was hungry enough

you would be food I'd be a bad owner I mean my dog that's a user error that's not

on the hounds that's i hear you man i i hear you man yaw some got some yeah that that whole dog shit is weird to me man yeah y'all dog owners is wild i mean my dog almost killed my rooster you were hungry he was just looking for lunch so for a sudden yeah i think that your dog would wedy would definitely eat you no if he got hungry no yeah what if what if you die leroy would have eaten you what No, Leroy, you would not. Leroy would have eaten the shit out of you. A little snack. You would not have.

Every time he licked you, he was like, oh, what a snack. You don't say that about Leroy. Why are you saying that my dog, what do you mean? Because your dog, your dog is not as, your dog doesn't love you as much as Leroy loved me. No, my dog loves me. No, Leroy. Dude, me and my dog exercise together. Oh, cool.

Do you love every teammate that you've ever had? Yeah. That's not true. You kidnapped him I did not kidnap him I rescued him Says every Captor

Billy was greeted as a liberator Yeah exactly Go give him back to the rest of his Whatever his family had to go find his family I know where his family is And yet And yet you're still keeping him at your house Yeah he likes me

I trained Leroy so well that Whenever his teeth would accidentally touch my skin he would like pull back and then he'd get like really upset because he thought that he hurt me. My dog understands shame. So. Mm-hmm.

Why? Because I was going to say something mean, but I'm not going to. I did not say it. Thank you, Mike Florio. And that's it. Yep. I'm going to take Eagles.

I feel like we need an aerial assault. There's hundreds of thousands of bald eagles alone. It just primarily before the annoyance factor if you're being attacked by hundreds of thousands of birds and you know that they're up there you're walking around looking up at the sky the entire

time you're just afraid that you're going to get dive bombed by one of these guys honestly I'd pick if we were going aerial I'd pick crows bro they're smart crows crows are crafty motherfuckers and the thing is I feel like eagles feel like there's more crows and like crows dive bombing is such a scene

like crows take out like full grown red-tailed hawks like you know pale male like half of pale male's wives were killed by crows really yeah in central park huh you guys know who pale mail is pale male is pale male is the red-tailed hawk that lives in new york city overlooks the whole park there's a documentary done on him i think it's more of a new york thing so i like the idea of birds just the concept of birds as the annoyance factor if we're going to lean really hard into annoyance I would say the grackle would be a good choice. Do you guys know about grackles? Aaron, you probably know about crackles, right?

In Texas? I don't know about grackles. You go to like an H.E.B. parking lot or any store, grocery store parking lot. You know, sometimes the entire lot will just be filled with thousands and thousands of birds. Yeah, I guess I've just never got in. I'm looking at it. I just Googled a grackle. First time I've ever heard that name, but I've definitely seen this bird before.

I just, and now I'm thinking about it, I just lumped birds and, one group like they're they're not a different species to me they're just birds like pigeons it's birds like and the big birds that you notice like a eagle this is the big bird right the grackle if you're not familiar with them they're like the dirtiest looking bird they're just like total scumbag birds that will annoy the shit out of you man scumbag bird you want to talk about a bird that if you had a militia of you could probably take over any country the shoe bill stork oh you get oh yeah you get a couple dozen of them Dinos.

Look at this Greco. How's he mugging like that? That's what Crackles. That's album cover. Yeah, Grackles always look like they're posing for like a late 90s album. Bro, you know what?

That birds aren't real guy. Have y'all seen the birds aren't real? I think we talked about it. I've concluded that he's trolling. Yeah, no. That's the. Great job,

Aaron. Oh, so I was no. It's like, there. I didn't know it was no. I think he has like, you got to get up pretty early in the day to fool Aaron's house.

I'm just picking Aaron in like a lab with all these beakers and he's running all these tests he's like that's a troll I got it I captured a bird I dissected it sure enough there's no robotics

I was watching this interview he had yesterday actually I had a drive from San Antonio and it just popped up on my YouTube algorithm I don't know why I don't be watching shit like there but it popped up and uh

go ahead no you figure it out what was your first clue Fuck you, man No, I thought people thought it was real Like he because like he seems like He gets all pissed off like when you try But like the more more he listened to him He's trolling

It was just one interview to wonder That's that's the problem He's trolling There are people who have bought everything he said Hookline and Sinker That's the that's like what the fly there shit That started off is trolling And now people are like all in

That's what the troll is That's what I think thought it was it was like maybe it was like a parody of of him kind of making fun of the fact that y'all'm going to make the stupidest shit up and watch people follow it you know which bird i hate with a passion i hate european starlings with a passion that's what i thought you'd say yeah i hate european starlings why because they they kill other birds you know they're the ones that like they shit everywhere they're descended from like four european starlings that were brought to Central Park because they wanted to like these like this like theater group wanted to have more Shakespearean birds in the city so they released them all and now they just kill everything you know destroy native birds they're the types of birds you know if you got a BB gun take out some European starlings because they deserve it like that's the bird I really don't like so did we have starlings before they

brought them for Shakespeare's place? No. I don't know. I kind of look at all birds. Like I said, man, they just look, they just look hella annoying. Like, all of all birds are kind of just annoying. Cardinals, though, red cardinals.

Cardinals and Blue Jays are pretty dangerous, but Cardinals, I think, are like the prettiest bird. Dangerous in what sense? Oh, Blue Jays will dive bomb you if you come too close to its nest. Oh, he's like an angry bird. Yeah. The Cardinal. I didn't know that.

Yeah. I guess that's what angry birds was made out of. Yeah. Cardinals, I mean, they're one of the best birds by far. So the European Starling were descended from 100 birds set loose in New York City's Central Park in the 1890s. They were released by a group who wanted America to have all the birds that Shakespeare ever mentioned. Yeah. These fucking theater geeks fucked up the whole bird population of America because they want some fucking Shakespeare.

experience birds you just don't like that these birds are associated with nerds no i don't like that they kill the native birds and like you know i feel like that is something you would like in other animals though like they're they're kind of bullies they're tough guys you don't like that these nerds have bullies on their side yeah they i mean the literal theater geeks have an army of starlings that have taken over the whole eastern seaboard i noticed that nobody picked any aquatic creatures besides Aryans killer whales but that was mostly just to chill with no one took like great white sharks

I feel like having great white sharks line your coast would be a very good way to ward off any sort of invasion I was going to say if you had all the blue whales now we're to like that's kind of like the inverse of what me and Billy were doing with spiders and ants like yeah we're just going to take it would be like having

like 50 Trent Williams is like pretty good there are 14,000 blue whales. But that's a lot, that's a lot of mass right. I, I think ants still has a bigger biomass. Probably. Now, you and I just found out, turns out the polar bear population has quadrupled in the past 100 years. There's 16 now. Well, hold on now a second. Hold on. Orcas won't hesitate to attack fish, seabirds, sea lions. Now for the first time, this is in February 22. too. A pot of orcas has been documented viciously attacking the largest creature on the planet

an adult blue whale. Oh yeah. Fuck them up. Let's get it. Orcas for the win. Orcas hunt their children, the young blue whales. Oh, I thought you meant their own. I'm like, hold on my gee, why? Oh, they probably do that too. Nah, orcas are like very like family oriented, like culture. I, they're cultured. They're cultured, bro. I think you're thinking they don't kill their own. I think you think you're thinking about dolphins. Dolphins are dolphins. P.U dolphins. Dolphins.

Orcas are dolphins. Right. But I think orcas are a little more aggressive. Like they do fucked up. Like they like toy with stuff they're about to kill. But that's just. There's nothing to do. Yeah.

That's what it is. Well, they get bored. They get bored in the ocean and they do stuff like surround seals and like make the seals like squeals. There's some fucked up videos They're not They're not the nicest Of the

Um They're nice to us They're nice to us They're nice to us Now Billy I'm reading something here That is about biomass Yeah And I'm reading that termites

Might have more biomass Than ants Than ants Yeah And then earthworm Earthworms might have More biomass Right but what are earthworms

going to do they're not going to go ahead and take earthworms if you want isn't it isn't fungi yeah what about bio biochemical war that's what that's that's the real if y'all really y'all jump in the ball on that y'all should true if we got like was it COVID um no what's the what's the white pangolins what's the what's the white powder that now we can't be on YouTube now what about this what about this I actually I actually think that that termites is not a bad choice because you can have them destroy your enemy's structures. Oh, true. Yeah.

It'd be like saboteurs, the ultimate saboteur. Do you that ants? But if it's made out of wood, right? They can't eat metal, can they? Probably not. I'm pretty sure. That's their Achilles heel. If you're fighting a 1500s army, termites is the way to go.

Do you know that termites and ants aren't related and they evolved analogously together? Like separately? Yeah. Yeah, I don't think that's the right term. It means an analogy. I thought I meant like side by side.

No. Parallel. Parallel. Parallel. Parallel. Comparable in certain respects, typically in a way, which makes clear the nature of the things compared. In analogy.

Avery, you and Mad Dogg, what animal would you take? huh i kind of like so when big t was explaining the lions and tigers thing i know that there's not that many of them but lions and tigers are scare like i think there's like a scare factor there that like ants don't have that would lead to retreating so i'm thinking like i think i said this for another answer on the podcast but like like elephants or something something if they got really mad could charge elephants have been war animals too

and they have the musk when they get going to musk yeah I don't know what musk is but they have their tusks they can pierce you is that a smell isn't it no the musk when must it's actually M-U-S-T I think it's when male elephants get to breeding age they start secreting

this like oily substance behind their ears and they just want to kill everything they just go nuts. Okay. So I'd have all my elephants being must. But like, I think there's a scare. There's currently 440,000.

That's a lot of elephants too. Yeah, that's a lot of elephants. Is that African or Asian elephants? Combow. I think all of the elephants. I think it's combo. Oh, I guess I have to pick a species of elephants. Well, we just chose ants.

We sure did. You took ants. Hey, you just chose ants. I'm saying that you could. Okay, so I'll take all elephants. But I think there's a scare factor that has to play into the. that along with i just i don't think you want to get fucked up by an elephant dude elephants are fucked up so when they go bad they go bad like they also like um their um what's their no

trunks trunk trunk yeah they could like knock anything out they uh they cross the alps with hannibal back in the old carthage wars they had like war elephants that just marched on and on and i feel Like their jaw power could break things. So there's elephants in India to this day that are like religious elephants that have like 20 bodies apiece. They just, they can't kill them. They like, so there's a religious elephant that like once went nuts one day, like killed like 10 people. They did nothing. They kept it.

The elephant's still, you know, hanging out in the temple. It's just like, they're just nothing they can do. Like you'll have an elephant straight up ruin. like a whole village's day just destroy everything but it means something yeah i think i think elephants and you can ride them if you're on the elephant side they trust you yeah i'm pro animal fucking up humans if it's if they're captive yeah i'm a fan of every animal that just goes quote-unquote rogue like let them go i mean if you there was uh there was a camel in tennessee that i believe uh was captive at like a petting zoo and it killed two people last week yeah

Holy shit. Crazy. Can't it go, bro. Yeah, it was a camel. I forget we're into the sea. Why is the camel in the Rocky Tops, fan? Right. What the fuck are we doing, right?

I feel like in all respect to the deceased, but if you get killed by a camel in Tennessee, like, God was calling you home. Like, he's ready. He was ready for you. You didn't have much of a shot. Yeah, it's not, I don't, I don't feel bad for the people, but it's like, what do you expect? The camel charged, the camel charged at sheriff's deputies as they tried to help the minute It had just attacked at Shirley Farms in Obie in Tennessee.

I'll know where that is. It was unclear what set off the camel's rampage. Being in Tennessee. I bet it was unclear. All right. So if we're looking at the goat man-eaters of all time, talking about individual animals that have created the most carnage, number one was the Chompawatt Tiger in Nepal and India,

killed 436 people. No way. Oh, Jesus. And then in second place, the leopard of Pinar in northern India. Oh, this individual animal? Individual, yeah. These are individual stats here. Good Lord.

The leopard of Pinar killed 400 people. Jesus. Third place, this one is a little bit unclear, but it's over 300. Gustav, the crocodile. Oh, yeah. In Burundi. We've talked about Gustav. Yeah, we have.

Gustav might be dead, might be still alive. We're not sure there have been reports of his death that are unconfirmed. I love the mystery behind it. love it but 300 plus people and then after that is another leopard and then 135 uh lions in kenya or 135 uh people have been killed by this one person's lions in kenya oh you know who would have been a good pick for the world war draft cony cony's army cony's army yeah Oh, his child army? Yeah.

Is he still alive? We don't know. There's a new, there's a bounty on his head. Yeah, that's bigger than Putin's. Really? How many million? Wait. Five million for, for Kony.

I thought it was way more than that. No, we were talking about this on the Yak one. Yeah, that's what, that's where I. Oh, yeah. I thought it was way bigger than five. It was like, no, it was 500 million of whatever currency. The Congolese. Gotcha.

Yeah. I think we should do a, you know, a Kony episode. Yeah. You know what? I'll kick in 100 bucks to Coney. To the people who... Not to him. Not to him.

To the price on his head. Right. So whoever catches Coney. So is it $300 million or $3 million and $300 and $100? I think it's like $5 million and $100. Okay. That's the new price on Connie's side. I would go look for Gustav the crocodile.

I'd rather look for Coney. No. Why do you want a hunt a crocodile? Yeah. No, no, I'm not a hundred. Yeah, he wants to be anywhere near this crocodile of his body cat is what it is. I don't, fuck if his body count is zero. I'm not going to be a crocodile.

Yeah, I don't want to be one either. I don't want to be one. Exactly. Real one. So the, but in the same line that you've got all the elephants. And it looks like the best of maranators are cats. So why can't you just take the cat family, all cats? True.

even like a house cat bites you you're getting a nasty infection also assholes yeah i i'm anti-cat civets civets are cool cats along the lines of uh like bio attacks what about like mosquitoes true there's roughly 370 million pet cats in the world feels like way too many that's a that's what's 370 too much i don't i I probably have like a hundred barn cats in also way too many upstate yeah so um looking at the at the bio behind the champa what tiger the uh the one that has over 400 kills it started hunting humans because it suffered a gunshot wound when it was a uh like a youth what's the word a juvenile a juvenile tiger and it was unable to hunt its normal prey and so it switched and started hunting humans

instead for food rational very rational care yeah avery who do you have mine would be rats yeah there's over two billion rats in the world so

and they're smart too they're very smart they can fit into basically anything and they can fuck your day up they survive it's bread disease too I think they can hold their breath for like three days or something like that yeah it's game over with rats

there's three rats for every person in New York City what about fleas fleas would be good too fleas fucked up what happens when a human has fleas like what does that do to you I know like a dog but like what is it

they don't inhabit you but you'll get bites yeah you get these red little bumps that itch and if they have disease then you can get the disease that they carry did you get fleas in Amarillo

I did not get fleas in Amarillo have you had fleas Billy this whole time specifically from Amarillo Wait, Billy, do you have fleas? No, I do not currently have fleas. Did you have fleas at one point? No, I've never had fleas.

I've had scabies. I think I've only had scabies. So why did you ask me if I got fleas and emerald? Well, because I got... You were just curious? Yeah. Because... You got bit?

I got bit, but I didn't get fleas. You can't really get fleas. If you sleep with a dog with fleas, that's how you get fleas. Does Whitey have fleas? No, he does not have fleas. So it sounds like you had fleas. I do not have fleas. I think you have fleas.

I think you have fleas. No, I do not have fleas. We should get you a collar. I do not have fleas. I had a weird bite from Amarillo, but I did not carry fleas with me. It could have been bed bugs, too. I got bedbugs in college. It was scary.

Like, I didn't know what was happening, but it was scary. Dude, scabies, I think, is the worst. Like, I can't, I talk about scabies a lot on this podcast. I cannot, like, say enough to be aware of scabies. like scabies awareness it is scary as fuck because it's a terrifying name yeah because you they get them everywhere so like and they come up as like these red bites and bumps so like for a lot of people think that they have like herpes so you got scabies on your dick no i would rather have scabies than herpes isn't it technically an STD no no it's a mite oh you the thing is you can get them

from like, I think I got digging ditches when I was working excavation one summer but they stuck with me for like I didn't get rid of them until like the next summer I think I think Billy probably had scabies on his dick and that's why I brought that up.

No, I did not. No, no, no, no. That's why he introduced that. It's like Ivermectin is the only way to get rid of scabes. It's totally not herpes. I was digging a ditch. Now, I think if there There's a possibility that Billy, you got bedbugs in Amarillo because you were staying in a weird hotel. Bed bugs are not, they're, you know, they are transient if you stay in a, even a nice hotel sometimes.

If somebody is staying there that is coming from an apartment that has bedbugs, they can leave them there for a night. And then if you ever get bedbugs, probably the worst, worst insect to try to get rid of. You have to like wrap all your shit in, in plastic, you have to get rid of your mattresses. you got a deep clean your apartment it's bad news i remember i got a free couch one time when i first moved down to austin i need some furniture to fill out my apartment and didn't have a lot of money went on craigslist saw an ad free couch giving it away drove my truck over to the house the the the couch was outside that should have been my first clue they just they just put a couch outside on the porch loaded it up into my truck brought it back to my apartment sat on it and

got a bite and I like took the cushions off looked at it sure enough there were like the tell telltale signs of bed butt but I only had it for like six hours through the couch up moral of the story is pay for furniture whenever possible because they're probably getting rid of it for a reason but avery you said you had it yeah I slept on my couch in college and I got it like a gross couch I just I passed out and I woke up and then it was like really bad all over my back yeah You can tell that you have bedbugs If you have two or three bites or more That are all in like a straight line

Yep Because they bite you and then they walk in a straight line To the next spot, bite you again And you don't feel it because they've got Anesthesia in their mouth And so when you wake up in the morning If you have like three bites in a row They call it like a stoplight type formation

That's where a bed bug usually You probably had bedbugs Skabies is the two bites Next to each other on your wrist ankles um go back to the back of the knee go back to your flea your flea you'd scare that you had an amarillo yeah two bites right here probably bedbugs yeah or if it could have been a spider that could have been a spider yeah

but so what i did is when i got back from the trip i just left my clothes outside and then i got you know i washed with uh i think it was a mixture of dish show it was some remedy i found online i think it was actually dog shampoo You had fleas. Billy had fleas. I did not have fleas. I got one last thing we could all do. You have to pick something that you think you would be most beneficial in World War III.

Like if you were sent out to World War III, what would you, like, what would you provide the most for your army? Food. No, I'm saying, like, what would you do? Like, what position? Fighter pilot. Like, what's your best strength that you're? Oh, my best strength? I podcast for all of them

I think yeah that was a question I think that we had where we determined that doing like Good Morning Vietnam doing radio Yeah it was like what what position in the army Would you be And someone someone on Twitter Broke it down for everyone very specifically

Oh did we break down that list? Yeah not that list as someone said Like someone gave me like an IT person in the Navy Like they like pull it up Pull it up, I only read that on the show. All right, let me see. By the way, that, so there's a, that thing about the bride price causing the bride price increase, causing actual armed conflict, the paper's called in plain sight,

the neglected linkage between bride price and violent conflict. Just so no one thinks, I'm just like. I don't think anyone thought you would just make something up on this show. Yeah. All right. Let's get to voicemails. Before we get to voicemails, they're brought to you by our great friends over at napjitsu. If you're looking for a healthier energy option to power you through that 2 p.m. feeling, ditch the sugary stuff. Napjitsu has natural time release neutropics.

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glutamine. In other words, way more than just caffeine. Billy actually gave me some glutamine powder to use as a pre-workout supplement. Very effective. It's all contained in napjitsu. Napjitsu now gives you six plus hours of energy, time release and three doses so you don't crash. That's perfect. We need to get some napjitsu in the studio right now. It comes in convenient small packets so you can take them with you unlocking sustained energy boost right when you need it. That's napjitsu. Check them out. That's napjitsu.com slash macro you can get 30% off 30 30% off your first purchase when you go to napchitsu.com slash macro again that's napjitsu.com slash macro get 30% off your first purchase today all right

let's hit some voicemails okay we got two hey hey before we do yo they got a uh a suggestion in the in the mentions that i thought was dope uh uh And I don't know how y'all feel about this, but, like, having, like, a section of, like, mean tweets. Oh, yeah. Stupid shit people say. I think that would be dope, man. Just collect, like, some mean tweets over the, over the week and we'll read some mean tweets. I can, I can get, I can get some throughout our mentions.

Yeah. We'll do that. We'll do that on nanodosing. Yeah. Perfect. Perfect. Actually, there was someone that was mean to PFT the other day on their mentions. Yeah, right.

I'll go find it. I'll pull it up. Liberal dosing. That's my favorite. Yeah, it was that one. It was that guy. yeah welcome back to liberal dosing you know jack mac like won't like jack mac and i used to talk about politics and stuff all the time now and er before and now he won't talk to me or billy because

he says uh we're we're spreading liberal propaganda on our podcast yeah that's us really yeah what kind of who's who's jack me he's uh he's he's he's he's gonna talk to you about bitcoin in the office Oh Yeah, PFT Everyone called you a lib When you said you wanted to raise the gas prices Just to have people show up I'm trying to help people

That are taking pictures to be like Fuck Biden I'm trying to give you more ammunition Just pay me $7 a gallon for my gas And you can take a picture of the pump after you're done And be like, let's go Brandon And then tweet it and get a bunch of engagement out of it I'm trying to help you with that

Also here's another great idea a grocery store but the shelves are like 95% empty all the time so people come in to take their picture and then they're like look at this it's like soviet russia and then they leave and they get all the engagement that they want i'm trying to help i'm trying to help content creators here i feel like sometimes people don't realize i know it this is probably true for arian too like how much i hate liberals sometimes like just just because i go left on some issues like libs lips think that's a it's it's a fundamental misunderstanding of the political spectrum like liberals are pretty part in par with uh conservatives they just don't like it as loud on the open yeah

yeah yeah they just a lot of times they just want to seem like they're good people they want everybody think they're good so like when like big t's fans like oh this is the Lib show and like Aaron's such a lib I just be like you have no idea what you're talking I just love because I don't like I don't like I would like the biggest just like you know I love what people like when people use the word like lib it's just I find that funny I don't actually condone like like like talking badly about liberals in general well people just like when big D does it it it makes me die all of your gas tanks would have like that Joe Biden thing where he's like pointing at like the sign and it's like I did this like

quote in the quote bubble it's just like it's this is my fault yeah i'm telling you like this this idea has legs i love the idea that biden wakes up in the morning he's like 5 30 like that's worse we're at 530 today and then like the next morning he's like 4 74 they're into 4 74 we need to do like a bumper sticker draft too there's some really good oh yeah there's some good oh yeah i i also think that bumper sticker. People, if you think that the gas prices are going to stay this high, just go back and look at the last, I don't know, like 40, 30, probably 30 years of politics here in the United States. They always somehow seem to have a way of coming down right before the election cycle. It's crazy. It's wild how that happens all the time. It's wild. It happened to

Bush, happened to Obama. Pretty sure it happened to Trump. Well, because COVID, but happened to drop yeah it happened it just happens dude i once saw 99 cent gas that's what it was in ohio for covid yeah in wisconsin should have just gotten a bunch of barrels like filled it up yeah remember when gas was so cheap that you were actually getting paid to store gas remember where i see that wait i remember vaguely yeah remember it was like it was like gas was so like they were basically paying people to take there was a storage issue yeah Yeah. Yeah, there was like a surplus of it at the time.

Too much gas. Yep. All right, you want to do some voicemails? Yep. All that gas in those jeans. Hi, Navajoice and crew. This is Emma from New Jersey. I just have a question for everybody.

If you could become any character from any book, movie, or TV show, and which positive that character and live within whatever the world is whatever the story is, whatever it is which character would you be and why? Love the show and can't wait to hear everybody's answers. Have a wonderful day. Good question, Emma.

Emma had a very nice, a pleasant voice to her. She was so enthusiastic. Yeah, she sounded so nice. I want to be her friend. She sounds so nice. Brought the vibes up in the studio. Who wants to go first? Anybody have one? It had to be from a book, she said?

No, anything. fictional character. Coley's thinking about Homer Simpson right now. Oh, I mean. Certainly thinking of the Simpsons, yeah. Homer has a great life. Homer, I mean, it's going soup. Like, I feel like I see this tweet every day,

but it was like the Simpsons had a dad with a family, the wife stayed at home. He had a two-story house. He had two cars in the garage. This is what the 90s were. And it was just like, just shut the fuck up. Just shut up. I've never seen this.

Hell, it's viral every fucking day. Who was a world, proper country? Yes. Like, sector seven. Nuclear. Nuclear. 7G, 7B? 7G.

7G, yeah. And Marge was way hotter than he was. That's, you know what? That's something that exists on TV for as long as I can remember. It's in every commercial, every sitcom. It's always like a fat guy. And then his wife, in any commercial, is always way more attractive than the guy. I feel like the King of Queens took it as far to the edge as a show can take it.

That's true. But yeah, I love that show, bro. Joe Banks. It's a great show. But, I mean, Carrie versus Doug. She worked at like a law firm and he was a UPS driver. And it was just like he's, he's got all this. It was great.

It gave a guy like me growing up a lot of hope. Uncle Phil had a very attractive wife. He was like, was he a judge or a boy? He was a judge. He just looked like a judge. Bo fan Vives was popping. Modern family. Yeah.

I don't nail. Very, Phil, I think Phil was out of his league. Yeah, Phil Dunphy was way out of his league. Now, if you were to say, he's personality, though. If you say, it's crazy. Danny Tanner never had a shorthy, man. She died, didn't she? Yeah, she died.

Didn't he date, though? He never re-up, though. I think he had, like, one of the, and the daughters was like, He was kind of salty at that. I thought I remember something like that. Yeah, he was too busy Colin Warriors games. Uncle Jesse, you had a pretty good life. Uncle Jesse was pimping.

He, like, paid rent. He just, he was like a roommate that just hung out and played in his band all day. And was hot. He was hot. What an outrageous premise for a show? Like, these three guys just live, live in this triple decker and in the hill and San Fran. And they just raised, like lightly raised. Like, they weren't really very hands-on.

No. Do you ever figure out what happened with Bob Saggett? Yeah, you hit his head No, it came out that he had multiple skull fractures Like he'd been beaten I think his family from the last time I heard Paid to not have those results From what I heard he passed out in his room

Fell down hit his head Which will crack you can fracture your skull They did say that the force to his head Would have been concurrent to something Of like a two to three story fall Yeah, it was it got a little sketch at the end I don't know. I think like falling on your head is very, very dangerous. Yeah.

If you just completely lose control of your body and your skull hits the ground, it's, it's exceptionally dangerous. Especially like a hotel bathroom floor like that. That it's like a different level of hard. Yeah, it's like granolium or if you just get into a fight and you get knocked out on your feet and it's on the street and you hit your head on asphalt, like people die from that all the time. People who faint and like go limp and hit their head, like that's what kills them. Yeah. You know, it's crazy. Because we haven't answered this shorty's question at all.

We've talked about some characters. That would make sense. Thad Castle from BMS. You would. That is such a perfect answer for you. No. That's what people want me to say. That's what you said.

It's literally. Billy football saying Thad Castle. Yeah. No, that's, I'm just playing to, I'm pandering to the audience. I'm sure. no i'd pft who would you pick hmm

so that's this is a very tough question I almost feel like Homer Simpson is is a good choice he had a great life still does astronaut

astronaut he's done he's done it all he really has he spends most of his time at the bar with his buddies has a very lovely wife um what's uh

What's Ed O'Neill's character and married with children? Al Bundy. Al Bundy. It worked at the shoe store, doesn't he? Yeah, a terrible job. Yeah, but. Oh, I'd be cross-down. He scored four touchdowns in a game in high school.

True. That was pretty sick. Potentially impotent. Yeah. Yeah, you don't want to. Would not fuck his wife no matter what. Under no circumstances. She always wanted it, too.

Yeah, what was that about? That was. I forgot about that whole. throat oh my wife is nagging for sex again like what brats like buddy i wish peter griffin that's just a worse pick than homer that's picking homer but worse yeah i think i'm going to stay with homer i think i would i would like to be homer pick crockle hunter steve irwin that's but that's not a real perfect fictional fictional i know i know but i would want to be Steve Irwin.

Okay. He died. Everyone loves Steve Irwin. But the premise was fictional character. I know, but that was honestly someone I always wanted to be when I was younger. You could still do nothing stopping you from doing that. What? Just start wearing khakis.

And like, khaki shirts. You're wearing khakis. You're wearing pretty much bottom half. You're wearing exactly what he would wear. With those boots. It's just on purpose. Billy would take the Joker.

Yeah. No, I think a good choice would probably be James Bond. I think being James Bond would kick out of work. A lot of work so much. But it's fun. You travel everywhere. You play card games, drink your martinis. You're unkillable.

Driving Asin Martin. Sick car. You get great hardware. Women. You're British. You're British. Yeah, you've really got it all. Good teeth for an Englishman.

Your best teeth on the island probably What about Logan Roy Nah He's always unhappy He's such a beta He's one of those Oh Logan I was thinking Logan the dad

Yeah the dad True alpha I was thinking of Kendall But he's such an alpha He's like always upset That he's so dominant Over everybody Like nobody is worthy of a conversation

He's not happy That's why he keeps working Keeps pushing Because the game You know all your kids are shitheads That a Tom Brady's up Yeah I don't think Tom Brady's happy

I don't think Tom Brady's real Yeah What an act like trying to upstage Kevin Garnett's Retirement ceremony like that was Poor for him if I've ever seen it I have my pick who's yours Optimus Prime Be fucking badass

A strong pick I like that pick actually Imagine being a transformer Yeah Just hiding in sight and then just kick the shit out anybody i don't know his character name but i'm taking hassle hop from bay watch yeah good character yeah the creep i mean i've never watched the program so i don't know how he acted on

in real life he's a creep i'm saying me neither i don't even know what i'm saying i don't know i said what i'm like a dude that enjoys being on beach patrol because of the females is a little creepy but i mean maybe he had more to him i don't know he was he had the juice back i mean they were like solving crimes they weren't even oh oh yeah they were like a crime show Yeah, it was like See, I've never watched it, I don't know You're right I've always seen the

The Rock movie Version of Baywatch And I haven't even I haven't even seen that shit And I'm they were They were like breaking up like the cartel I genuinely thought They were like

Saving drowning people But nope Mike Piazza Just would show up on the beach Yeah Dodgers Mike Piazza Yeah What about

Oh wait Now that you said Baywatch What about Zach Morris I'm saved by the ball Yeah a pretty good gig Yeah Kelly Kapowski. Kelly Kapowski, that's all you have to say.

Not going back to high school. What about Save by the Bell, the college days? Dude, home. Even worse. Homework was the worst. I know, but imagine, like, how crazy it is to go through a full day, wake up at like 5.30 a.m., go to practice, and then you finally get home, and you still have work to do.

Billy, he wasn't doing homework. He was just being Zach Morris. That's like the whole premise of that show. I just hate homework. That's why you need a friend like screech. Yeah. He'd steal all his answers. Also, RIP.

Yeah, RIP. Zach Morris didn't play sports. Did he not play any sports? No, you'd want to be A.C. A.C. was the athlete. He did wrestling and football. He didn't do basketball, did he? He did basketball.

He was a three-sport athlete. For a couple episodes. I've never seen a shot, though. His fourth sport was sitting on chairs backwards. That's true. We interviewed Mario Lopez on part of my take, and I asked him about playing basketball. he forgot that he played basketball on the show. I love that show.

Big T, who do you got? Coach Eric Taylor. Okay. Just perfect All-America. Everyone loves him. Married to a very nice-looking woman. His daughter is... You're kind of underselling Mrs. Coach a little...

Well, I didn't want to come up. She's a little older than I am, but... No, Tammy Taylor. Listen. Love his love. Listen. Hey, me. Let me take something right.

Listen, she's better looking every season. Like, she gets progressively better looking as the show goes on. Everyone loves the guy, helps young men steer their life in the right direction, just one of the great fictional characters to ever not live. What about Claire Dan's from Homeland? You're always freaking out about something? God, her life seems awful. But she's always right about everything.

Yeah, but she's so stressed all the time. She is always stressed. sneaky if sneaky along the lines of homer you could be bender you're just in the homer in the future yeah bender's a good pick you're a robot you're also an alcoholic for some reason yeah he drinks beers mm-hmm i like that pick what about you erin well y'all already know i'm i'm any anybody in any tribe on panther you already knew that though anyone anybody we just live off the land and we goochie man it's all good all right anybody else any more honorable mentions who you would you'd want to be as a wayne

i'ma mrs wayne you you would want to be bruce wayne hell yeah what about what about all the taxes you'd have to pay he wrote he writes him all right alfred'll take care of it and you now have eight percent less keep that in mind i'll take care of that no he the the wayne foundation is orphanage he did a lot of great charity work yes they were all right off yeah yeah yeah Billy confirmed Waniak I think what did you say

honorable mention for me is I just finished this book called Syth and it's about this kind of utopia is human utopia like we're in the future

everybody is like we cured disease we cured death and so people can live thousands of years because we figured out how to cure everything. If you fall and plummet to your death,

they know how to revive you. And anyway, and in this world, humans agree that death is a part of life. And so they ordain people called sides to commit what they call gleaning. They don't call it killing. But you get gleaned from society and you get chosen for various different reasons.

And so, but everybody agrees that it's a part of it. So when it comes your time to get gleaned, you just accept it. But anyway, there's all kinds of little. drama and shit and there's this dude called sithe faraday in there who's like fucking honorable as shit and so y'all don't know what i'm talking about but if you ever read that book or anybody who has read it out there i would want to be him he's he's a fire character scythe fair day scyth fair day yeah all the all the sides are named after like historical

human figures so like there's sife uh chomsky there's sight goddard there's all kinds of different uh scythe names so all right we got another voicemail Yep, more. Good afternoon, Macro, Drew. This is Clay from Germany. And this call specifically goes to PFT. Listen, man, I looked at your drenching reaction from Carson Wentzgoing to the commanders. Obviously, you were not too pleased, considering that we've seen some tears.

but in all honesty I would really like to to hear your like maybe optimistic reaction like could you at least give us three bullet points on why Carson wins

can be a good quarterback for the Washington commanders thank you okay this is going to be tough I think first overall he was the number two pick he was good at one point he was great in 2017 before he got hurt

occasionally he still makes plays where i'll be like that guy is still a very good quarterback he just needs to do that repeatedly so that's number one number two we don't have a lot invested in be able to pay him a lot of money this year but it's still we didn't give up that much to get him so you could do worse there's upside there really is a lot of upside to him there's a lot of downside but if we can just if we can raise that floor a little bit and then just make his ceiling the average then he'll be great and that's he's accurate on intermediate passes when he when he can set his feet there you go there are three things right there I don't know how much I believe in all three of those but he's not the worst quarterback in the

division even so he's like he's better than Daniel Jones I think stop I mean are you going to say that Daniel Jones is better yes Daniel Jones can't even run forward without tackling himself. Daniel Jones is better. I don't think you can say that with a straight face. He's better. I don't think so. Did he throw any touchdowns to wide receivers last year?

Yes. Not to get Kenny Gallaudet, but yeah, he did. You know what's, I think Carson Wenz might be like one of these Nick Foles situations. Because with him, it was always like he never really got a good shot until, he was put on the Eagles and then he took him to the Super Bowl. I think kind of Carson Wentz, he might be in that saying, he just needs to change a seniorie another one. That was Nick.

That was Nick Falls though. Yeah. Yeah, I wish we would have played Wentz on that Super Bowl. Yeah. But you're saying that you think that Carson Wentz might be the next Nick Foles. Like he's one of those guys who I don't, like, I feel like he hasn't really had a full, healthy season kind of like a fair. Shake at it.

Okay, real talk. Here's two more things why I could be optimistic about him. Number one, as Coley alluded to earlier in this show, he's probably the best quarterback that we've had in a long time. We have a good defense. We've got a decent enough offense around him,

and he doesn't make mistakes. So when he does make mistakes, there are the worst mistakes that you could possibly make, and they're awful mistakes, and that's all that you'll see. but he only threw seven interceptions last year. That's not a lot of interceptions. How many, was Aryan on for the stat you dropped earlier?

Because that was incredible. And I want to know if he heard anything like that in his life. Then he threw 15 passes left-handed last year. Yeah, I heard it. Yeah. We just need to, we need to, as long as he can limit the mistakes, the team around him is good enough where we might be, we might be good with them. And I was saying, I was saying this earlier, I don't.

I'm willing to do what it takes. I will convert. I will get baptized if we win a playoff game. I'll convert to Christian. I'll go to Bible study. Just win me a playoff game. Just do it. During this show, you guys did lose Brandon Sheriff.

Yeah, we expected that, though. He's a very good, very good player. Probably one of the best players that we've had over the last, what, six years? I've got to go to a dozen. All right, Billy's got to run. Love you guys. Love you, Billy. Are you 12 minutes late?

Yeah. Okay. Good luck with that, Philly. Brandon Shurf is a very good player, and I will miss him, but we kind of expected that. That didn't really catch me off guard. Colt McCoy signed a two-year deal. You just, you talk about job security.

With him? Is he still playing out? For two more years, at least. I think he came out with me or before me. Maybe. Yes. How much money do we think he's earned in his career? I'm looking at up right now.

I would say 80. I don't think that much because he... I could be wrong. He's never gotten the starter deal. So he started for the Browns for a while. And then he lost his job with the Browns. So he signed a back... Backups.

Bro, backups be getting like three or four a year, bro. I want to say 33. In 12 seasons, he has made $20.4 million. Okay. Which, listen. Not a bad gig. Not a bad gig. And he's a very good backup.

Backup quarterbacks have the best job in history of the world. Colt McCoy will get in and he will win a game as a quarterback and he'll play a good game every single year. He's just very consistent that way. He's not going to start and he's not going to be the franchise guy. But as far as backups go, top, top three backup. It was fun for us that one year, I feel like. I feel like he had like a decent year for the Browns.

I'm making that up. No, I think he was okay for the Brown. He was like, okay. James Harrison kind of ruined his whole deal in Cleveland because James hit him like three seconds out. after he delivered a pass, just knocked the fuck out of him. James Harrison went on a little two year run where he just ended people's careers left and right.

He used to do this on purpose though. Yeah, what was the like opinion? I believe it. Like I would be terrified of him, but I would also be like, fuck this guy. He's like actively trying to hurt us. Now you don't get scared of people like that. You face him head on.

You got, you got, you got, you got pads. It's like I got paid. What was the hardest you ever got hit? Oh, I remember. I remember it. Clint, fucking session, dog. Clint Session, linebacker for the coach. That little motherfucker.

Oh, boy, man. Bray, he hit me in my chest. 2010, he hit me in my chest. I could not breathe for a good minute. Like, I was trying to breathe. It could not breathe. I was like, yo, this shit crazy. It's a different level.

So he just hit you like right here, like perfect. No, in the chest, man. In the chest. Yes, he hit me in my chest and I was like, I was doing that shit. I could not breathe, though. And he gets up talking shit, and I got to talk shit back. And I'm like, nothing's coming out.

Br, that was my welcome to the NFL hit. Everybody has those where it's like, you know, you go through training camp and you feel like good, preseason boop. And then you get into the mix of it. And that was my, oh, you hear. Yeah, you win it. I'm looking at a picture right now. There's actually a picture online that you can find of Arian getting tackled by Clint Sessions

And your helmet is like coming off And you're wincing in pain It was in a different game though That wasn't the he was talking about It's when he played for the Jags Send it to the group Yes it was when he played How do you know?

This guy had your number Because I looked up the picture I looked up Clint Sessions hit on Aaron Foster And I got the game that he ran 231 yards, three touchdowns To fend off the Colts Yeah I was going to say that too. No, it wasn't that game.

Hey, he's going to touch me that game. Oh, I thought oh, I thought you said it was when he was with the Colts. Well, he hit me, he hit me twice. And both of the motherfuckers hurt. One, one with the Colts was when he gave me a head, like my hair wrong. That didn't necessarily hurt. That was just like, I have a concussion and I, so it was, it was when he was with the Jags, the one, the hit you're talking about. The one I'm talking about he was with Jagger. I think that was 2011, yeah. So that's what we,

have the picture of. Let me see. Send it to the group. It's in the group. Yeah. Your helmet's like coming off. You wincing in pain. Let me see.

My Wi-Fi bugging. This is downloading. You guys should only wear those red jerseys, by the way. I agree. I know you guys, fam. I don't play no more. Well, I'm looking at a picture of you wearing the jersey. Was that the hit right there?

That's not even the hit. That shit. But that one is fucking your shit up frequently. I'm telling you, bro, listen, I don't know why he didn't get the recognition. Maybe it's because he wasn't very good in coverage. But like pound for pound, he's probably one of the like toughest players I've ever went against. It just fucking just wouldn't move, bro. Oh, my little bowling ball.

That should have been a 15-yard penalty, though. He's got three fingers inside that facel mask. We should get him on the podcast. Have you guys. Have you guys face off? Oh, and I hope he's doing well. man hope he's enjoying his millions like i am i don't got no i don't got nothing against my guy that is a face my heart good call patrick willis would have scared me i think of all the guys

against the thing about pat was he didn't hit that hard i'm talking about he can hit hard don't get me wrong but like that wasn't his game his game was not to knock your head off his game was just to be efficient and like get his job done and he did it better than almost anybody ever his counterpart part was the one that was like, nah, he'll come for your head. What was his name? 53. Burr, no, what's his name? It was, they had two, it was Patrick Willis.

Yeah, I forget. Something, Bonham, Navar, Bowman. Yeah. That, now, he'll come, he'll head on. He a head hunter, that's for sure. Patrick Willis, though, he was more like, really, as much as his lineback could be finesse, he was finesse, but, I mean, don't be wrong. He was tough as shit, but he was really known for, like, knocking.

cats out he was like form tackling you couldn't get away from him like it was that kind of deal boomer way he'll come down here like he that was a scary defense they had some players on that defense mm-hmm ever since go cold man they i think at that time they didn't have an offense that was that that was that night no they were going to super bowl that's well that's when they were transitioning from out smith to cap yeah Alex smith had like that one good year and maybe his last year there because he almost got benched several times and then And they got rid of him, signed cap, and then Alex Smith went to Kansas City. He was the king of not throwing touchdowns to wide receivers, Avery, much like Daniel Jones.

Yeah. I think he went like, I think he went something like 400 days without throwing a touchdown to a wide receiver. But they were still winning football games. He was just, he was throwing touchdown passes to his tight ends. They were running for touchdowns. He was throwing screens to maybe Priest Holmes at the time. no they wouldn't have overlapped you don't think so who was the running back then kins city it would have been jama charles oh jama charles yep that's right yeah it was charles so

he was he was fine ways to get in the end zone much like there was uh some show did a list recently aryan that had they rank like the top 20 running backs of the 2000s you were on it rightfully so there was a guy who was i think they had them outside the top 15 it was jamal charles That shocked me. That's like a preference thing. That's more of like a style preference because JC wasn't really like he didn't do a lot of like goal line.

That's why like his touchdowns aren't that high so he didn't do a lot of like goal line carry stuff like that. He could but he was more of like he was a speechster. He came down. He could run downhill for sure but it wasn't really what he was known for. He was like he was just to stretch defenses and that's why I always tell people, man.

And yards for carry is probably the dumbest and most deceiving stat that there is, especially at running back. Because there's so many variables that go into, like, you'll have cats, like, who are on a team that's not necessarily that good. And so a lot of their yards, they pick up, like, at the end of games when there's six, five, five, six dudes in the box and you're getting seven, ten yards a wop just to keep the defense honest. And so I'm not saying that's what his game was. But a lot of the yard for his carry is, it's inflated. Yeah, because his, I know he had the record up until the end of his career. He was well over five. Yeah, it was like five, five minutes.

Which he was probably more a legitimate yard for carry guy. Right. Like I said, he didn't get a lot of bowline carries. So, like, that shit comes down. Like, when you, or like end of the game shit, right? When you, what they call the four minute offense? When you try to run the clock out, like a lot of the times, you know, some of them cats didn't, didn't do a lot of that. And so that brings the yard.

When you got nine dudes in the box, a lot of that shit brings you yards per carry down. So I've never really looked at yards for carry as any kind of barometer. who would be your like top three for that era you can put yourself in there um for the 2000s there's 2000 to today like this 20 years span i would go uh agent peterson l t um C.J. Oh, that's a good question. Priest Holmes was cold before he got very hurt. Yeah, he's top tier.

I'll probably, I'll probably do, I'll probably do shady. Okay. Yeah, I probably do shady. I think they had him five on that list Not that it was some end-on-b-all list But I was Yeah Not surprised

But I like feels like A hard guy to rank for whatever reason I was like super like Because like our era of running back I was really proud of You know what I'm saying Like so it was like me Like MJD

AD Jamal Charles Marshawn Lynch We had we had some killers in our era CJ 2K Like we had some Our era of running back Top chair

You remember Shady's party that he threw Where You put out like that graph and put it out online and it said like the time, the date of the party, and then it said females only on it. Did it also say like like SDD check mandatory or something like that or am I making that out? That's kind of cool.

I mean, that shit is kind of fire. Like imagine you go into a party like where we all try to get down and to get in, you have to have a clean bill of goods. I mean, shit. That's fire. Makes sense. It's safe. It's no different than having, like, a metal detector at the door.

Mm-hmm. That'd be fire if you could, we had that technology, an STD detector. They do have dogs. You walk in and it blinks the color of light or whatever. You talk about it. Embarrassing. You don't even know. This is how you find out.

Yeah. I was just going to the party in the hills, dog. And shit, my shit beat green, man. I got to call all my shorties up. All right. I think that's going to do it for this week's episode of macro dosing. We'll see you on Thursday for nanodosing. We're going to read some of those mean tweets that you have for us.

So if you have anything, you got to get off your chest, feel free. Let us know. Just let us know. Let us know. Maybe you don't reply to the main tweet of the show, but just tweet on your own. Tweet at us. Tweet at us, at all of us at Macrodosing Cod. Or should you just be like, here's the mean tweet thread?

So macrodocin just put out a tweet, and that's where you leave it at. So you don't flood my message with your stupid fucking baby and dog pics. We could do that. Yeah. Mean tweet thread. Mean tweet here. Leave it here. Yep.

I like that. Mean tweets here. Okay. Well, we will see you guys on Thursday. Love you guys. Thank you.