Mad, Sad and Bad with Paloma Faith - Sam Ryder: I Kidnapped Someone On Tour

Episode Date: April 13, 2026

I’m joined by the man with the most extraordinary hair in the UK, which can only really mean one thing...Sam Ryder. He stole all of our hearts at the Eurovision Song contest with his hit ‘Spaceman...’, as well as becoming a TikTok sensation and even landing the role of Jesus in the West End. For someone who has achieved so much, he is probably the most humble person I’ve ever met - and I’m lucky to call him a true friend after filming our show ‘Your Song’ together last year.We covered a lot!! From why he stopped drinking alcohol, to his impressive THREE near-death experiences (protect Sam at all costs), to how we can all make the world a better place. Oh, and there was also that one time he kidnapped someone on tour - but more on that later…Watch Your Song on Channel 4 now!!—Find us on: Instagram / TikTok / YouTube—Credits:Producer: Emilia GillAssistant Producer: Alex ReedVideo: Josh Bennett, Lizzie McCarthy and Harry SawkinsSound: Rafi Amsili GeovannettiOriginal music: BUTCH PIXYSocial Media: Laura CoughlanExec Producer for JamPot: Ewan Newbigging-ListerExec Producers for Idle Industries: Dave Granger & Will Macdonald Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, I'm Paloma Faith and this is my show. Each week I welcome someone fantastic into my home to talk about what makes them mad, sad and bad. Roll recording. Man of the moment, the second coming. Oh, I love you. Sorry. Nicest man in show business. How are you?
Starting point is 00:00:47 Come in, welcome. To you. He's a Viking S rock star who you'll definitely reckon. recognized from Eurovision. He won the nation's hearts with his song, Spaceman, and he gave the UK their best results since 1998. If you somehow missed Eurovision, you might recognize him from TikTok where he's got 14 million followers, or his chart-topping albums, or maybe his sell-out tours. This summer, he makes his Western debut as Jesus Christ superstar. We couldn't think of a better casting. But to me, we've become friends since working on your song for Channel 4, which is out in April,
Starting point is 00:01:32 uninhibited plug. But at the end of filming, I bought him a present. He didn't buy me one. And I think that that categorically means I'm going to get to heaven before him. He is an absolute dream. It's the amazing Sam Ryder. mate I'm so glad you brought that up right because this has been a conversation I give to a scene mate yeah I'm looking at Natalie out there and I said me and Natalie were talking to each other going I haven't got anything and this was the last down I'm like I know I'm not going to see anyone
Starting point is 00:02:07 and the next time I do it's going to be too late to give someone something so yeah my bad but I have been wrestling with this quite a lot I'm going to heaven you're Jesus Christ Superstar so you decide now Yeah, yeah. So your dad, you and Jesus, were all carpenters. Yes. Let's start with the facts. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:32 Before we muddy the waters. What's your favourite join? My joint, dovetail. What's that? It's where like you've got the, so imagine like a dovetail wedge. Yeah. So both bits of Tim would go together sort of like that. Oh, so satisfying.
Starting point is 00:02:47 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like, I did that and. Yeah. Yeah. Synergy. And then you send those videos, they're definitely AI videos, but where things like slot in perfectly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't it a shame life's not like that? I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:01 Like there's so many ways that we're not a dovetail join. No, no. Just an absolute casserole of nonsense. Also, just quickly, I know everyone's desperate, but the hair, do you do hair masks? I haven't done one in a long time. But I do. I do. I try.
Starting point is 00:03:19 Which is your favourite? And have you been approached by the product? Lois is quite into free samples. So it's always just something different. So like they always just come through the post like with whatever moisturiser or something she's got. Have you not ever been approached for like a hair campaign? No, we have.
Starting point is 00:03:35 Oh, but I'm just waiting for the big time. The right one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who did you say no to? I can't say. Just in case one day you really need them. It starts thinning and I'm like. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:49 So rush against time. He's moved on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't think it fits. So we're going to start with mad. Yeah. And you said that you couldn't believe when you were thinking of this that it slipped your mind because it's that mad.
Starting point is 00:04:08 So fill me in. I kidnapped someone once. Well, actually, I was part of a group of people. It was me and Kaz, my tour manager, kidnapped someone. And I'm going to change the name of this person for the story, something similar to his name. Yeah, well, maybe protect us as well. We'll call him Andrew for this.
Starting point is 00:04:27 Andrew's from Sweden. So I was in a punk band at the time. And we, I mean, at the beginning of this tour, I was in flowing out to Texas where we started the tour in America. And me and Kaz turned up thinking, oh, wow, because I just joined this band, meeting for the first time, thinking we're just about to go on the road and see the world. So is Kaz you steal your tour manager from when you were in punk bands?
Starting point is 00:04:51 Yeah, yeah. From like 12 years ago. A 10 out of 10 for loyalty. I know, he's a legend. He's going to heaven. Go on. Never bought him a gift. But so we got flown out, arrive in Texas.
Starting point is 00:05:03 When you're a musician, you realize that the reality and expectation, between the two, there is a gigantic gulf that never ever makes sense. But anyway, landed in Texas, really excited. And turns out the first thing we had to do was build bunks in a van. So I started doing that. Because of your joining experience. And then I started getting. suspicious, like, have I been hired in this band just because I know how to build beds?
Starting point is 00:05:29 And so started with a skill saw, no health insurance or anything like that over there. So I'm a little bit worried. And then got that job done. And then I woke up the next morning and one of the members of the band, he was like a landscaper. And he said, I actually need some help on a couple of jobs. Do you mind coming along? And I was like, again, suspicion now growing dangerously.
Starting point is 00:05:51 You're like here for a gig. Yeah, and the promoter for our shows in Scandinavia was a guy called, let's call him Andrew from Sweden. And show one happens and it's the sort of the tale as old as time. I can't pay you tonight, but we'll get all the money. We're doing five shows with this guy promoting. So he'll pay us tomorrow. Do the show tomorrow. Doesn't pay us.
Starting point is 00:06:15 Third show comes around and Kaz has got a plan because we've got to know Andrew at this point and we know that Andrew's moving to Nashville. And that means that we need to find leverage because we've gotten down and we're like, we need a passport to move to Nashville. So we're going to take his passport. Then he, well,
Starting point is 00:06:31 we say he agreed. He had no choice but to come with us. So we have a guy with us at this point now in the van who weirdly started driving us too. So not... Everyone's doing many jobs. Yeah, so it's kind of like a bit of a Stockholm syndrome situation
Starting point is 00:06:47 where I remember that he then started seeing how we were living on the road. And he owed us money for five shows at this point, but then he also felt sorry and bad for how bad we were living. So he started buying us meatballs from IKEA and actually bedding as well for the van so that we weren't sleeping on basically plywood. Yeah. And sleeping bags, you know.
Starting point is 00:07:11 And so this guy, all of us has become our like kidnapped Swede is now helping us out wherever we can to make our lives more comfortable before we release him, which we did do honourably. Did he pay? He did. But it sounds like it was weird because it sounds like he said he kidnapped you also. Well, yeah, there was... Because he was making you work and then charming you with, like, bedding.
Starting point is 00:07:36 The promise of money. A promise of money plus the meatballs. Yeah. Who kidnapped who? I know. It's a conundrum. And I think we remain... Well, I think him and Kaz are still in contact, which is funny.
Starting point is 00:07:50 I think that's cute. I think the music business is like full of... Remember when you did that me, loll. I think the music business is like full of gangstery type people anyway. So it's good you've got experience of that, because sometimes you might need to, you know, kidnap a music exec or whatever. They're always withholding money. We always have to like investigate them.
Starting point is 00:08:13 Yeah. You know. The promoter comes out with a baseball bat at the end of the show. People have got history that you don't know about. I remember once I did a feature on a song. And we had a live TV appearance and they still hadn't paid me at the point of promoing this song. The band?
Starting point is 00:08:35 The band that I was featuring on. And so I just called them and said, look, I didn't want to be this guy, but I'm not doing it unless you paid me the money. You found your leverage. You found your passport. And I had to be a hustler. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:51 Do you think you yourself have ever, I know that's a mad scenario, but do you think you've ever experienced like internal madness? Oh, 100%. If I've got a guest coming round or something, I'll make sure everything is absolutely perfect and then I'll stand up and just wait. I won't sit down.
Starting point is 00:09:09 I can't like, and now I'm regretting even saying these things out loud because they're kind of video games in my head. It's adorable. I know. So I'll be pacing around. I'll be like, right, the couch can't put a crease in the couch before anyone arrives. It's got to stay like this. Yeah, it's got to stay exactly like this, like it's frozen in time.
Starting point is 00:09:25 And, uh, fuck's sake. But there's all like also, right, so last week I did a writing trip to the Isle of Wight, my friend's Tom and Jamie. And it meant that it took me out of my little kind of routine of what I do every day. And it meant, so I like getting a, a certain amount of steps every single day. Don't, for no reason. But just the basic 10,000.
Starting point is 00:09:53 But that's good. I mean, I'd be worried if you said 10,371 steps. And then I can't move. But because obviously it's taken me out and I can't get that sort of walking, I would then tally them up to the step for the next week when I'm home and I had to make up. So I was walking around my town to try and I was in a rears of 27,000. thousand or something. I just had to keep walking in circles until I fulfilled it. So it is madness. It's actual madness, but I'm enjoying it. Where do you think it comes from? Is it to do
Starting point is 00:10:26 with control? Nice. My granddad's been living on his own since I was born and I sort of watch how we like everything's kind of like that iPad have to be like that. An angle. Do you know, I mean everything perpendicular like shoes. It's like an army like you know, Forest Gulf and comes back from the army. Yeah. But and it's not, I don't want to get checked out for him because I like them and I don't want I don't want it to change. I don't want someone to medicate it. No, I think it's sweet. You've not drunk alcohol for 18 months.
Starting point is 00:10:54 Yeah, so I'm getting my kicks elsewhere. Yeah, you're allowed. Why is it you stop drinking? I think it just sort of, I didn't ever feel good after it. And I don't know, I don't, I just didn't really enjoy it. I kind of habitually, if I had a drink in my hand, I think I got this from my dad as well,
Starting point is 00:11:15 who's like, who drinks, He just, there's no control of the speed. It's not no control of the substance because there's not like, like I don't think a deeper thing going on with me, but the speed at which I would drink would have become a problem. Like you just drink like a ribena. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:11:34 So it's the same even with, I've had to watch out with like alcohol-free stuff as well because obviously it's just packed with sugar. So I'd go out and drink them at the same rate. But there's no purpose there, is there? So I'm just drinking like, them incredibly fast. You're just downing like 2,000 calories.
Starting point is 00:11:51 Exactly. And I'm waking up in the morning. I feel like I've drunk. Sugar poisoning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I just had to stop. And I just drink water now. All my guys on the crew,
Starting point is 00:12:02 just call me the camel. Because the amount of water I put away or just like a kind of... Your capacity for liquid consumption is too high to partake. Absolute bloater. You come across to me as an... optimistic, quite happy person. And I'd say that we're matched in that sense. But sometimes I think the happiest people can experience the saddest of feelings. Yeah. Like, would you say that was true? 100%. Yeah. I get quite sad. Like, but luckily, like I said before, I enjoy my own company as well.
Starting point is 00:12:45 So sometimes I think if you're sad and then you happen to be on your own, and you're not always loaning. if you're on your own, but if you're susceptible to that feeling of loneliness, that can really compound whatever sadness you're going through. It's like when you, you're going through a breakup or something and you purposely, you don't put Agadu on, dear. You put something sad on because you want to, you almost want to, um, go through the feeling like you're in a movie. Like looking out the, the car window with the rain falling on it, listening to Adele. You know, you kind of want to immortalise that feeling and, and travel completely Exactly, indulging it.
Starting point is 00:13:24 Yeah. But luckily I, I deal well with being on my own. I quite enjoy it, actually. But I'm blessed to say that because I have like an amazing partner, I've been with 14 years and friends like Kaz who I know that if I ring him up and be like, hey, man, do you fancy kidnapping a Swede? He'd be up for it. And just, yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:47 But I do think people misinterpret loneliness for, for only being a prerequisite for being alone, I think sometimes you can feel lonely, you know, it's a cliche, but in a crowded room or surrounded by people. Yeah, that don't understand, or maybe you feel distanced from them. I think it's always that is a signal
Starting point is 00:14:11 that you're maybe you're not living the correct path for your spirit, almost. Some things, you know, like you're hanging around with the wrong people. and that doesn't mean in that state where you've tried to be something you're not or been around the wrong people yeah yeah yeah I remember even when when I first got
Starting point is 00:14:32 I didn't think I even had a record deal at this point it was the Brits in 2021 I was just kind of invited just because I think like everything was just sort of kicking off when I was posting videos online and stuff like that so you get invited to this thing and you're obviously well excited right
Starting point is 00:14:50 actually never been before and you're like, wow, this is so cool. And then I had this like feeling I was turned up and I was like, oh shit, I'm 31. Like, what are people going to think? Like that, because that for me felt like too old to be there. That's mad that a boy would feel like that as well, I think. Well, I remember me in, it was Clara Ampho, I met. And she's so lovely. And I remember me and Lois meeting her.
Starting point is 00:15:16 And she was one of the first people, I think I met in that sort of world of, I guess industry, right? And people, so I was like, hey, what's that? Like, buzz and she was really nice. And she asked me how old I was. And I got that feeling in my stomach. I was like, it was almost as if I had, by worrying about that question ever coming up, it came up immediately, right?
Starting point is 00:15:39 Like, you sort of, that's just the way the universe works sometimes. But I was so scared. I almost had to give it a risk. I was, I'm 31, but like, yeah, just all like kind of up in the air and trying to make but I've still got something cool to give do you know what I mean? Because I think when you're in music or certainly when I was in school
Starting point is 00:15:57 the rule was almost like if you don't make it by the time you're 25 then you're doomed yeah you are doomed and I always hated that it's so weird isn't it because we've spoken about this and I had the same thing
Starting point is 00:16:13 I think I put my first album out at 28, 29 and just and every article I'd ever read about Katie Tunstall had said she came to music late and she was younger than I was. And then I was like, I'm not going to tell anyone. And I knocked five years off my age. And then someone took themselves to the birth registration office and sent my birth certificate to Wikipedia.
Starting point is 00:16:41 Like maybe second album and said she's lying. She's not as young as she says. At that point you'd forgot. Oh shit. Now I've got not five years. changing it on Wikipedia back. And then they were like, there was one day when I did it. And then they were like,
Starting point is 00:16:56 unfortunately we can't, because we've been submitted written proof from the birth certificate. Yeah. So you were literally fighting against the sea. The tide was coming in. Who's got time for that? I know, right. Someone literally did that.
Starting point is 00:17:11 Like, because they just want, like, they, I don't know, did they want to end me or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, wicked witch. She's got four years off. There are certain laws. we must adhere to, death taxes and time. I want to make sure that births are correct.
Starting point is 00:17:24 It's like King Herod or something. That's so weird. Do you think that you had a good male role model growing up? Yeah. I've spoken about my parents a bunch of times. They're so amazing how they raised me, the values that they instilled in me with hard work and just not coming from a family.
Starting point is 00:17:53 family where you had any kind of access to the music industry or any connections whatsoever. Like my dad was a carpenter and my mum worked at boots doing all the sort of like the factory stuff in the background and then became a dentist assistant and like a dental hygienist and stuff like that. They knew that they couldn't help me but I knew that I had the passion for music. So instead of like trying to find ways of me get. in there, my dad would give me a job. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:18:27 So he's like, right. So you'd have the money to fund it. What I know is you, you need this music thing, you need money and you need time. You know, you need to be able to speak to your boss at work and be like, exactly. Yeah. I've got a gig just coming on Friday afternoon. I have to leave earlier. Is that all right?
Starting point is 00:18:43 And there's almost, in jobs I had before that, like I worked a paper round first, which was actually quite fun. I enjoyed it. Then I worked in McDonald's. And obviously there's almost the thing that when you have a bit of a dream, you kind of put your head above the parapet, right? And sometimes I always felt like your boss would almost take pleasure in saying, no, I can't let you have those, like can't leave, let you leave early on so-and-so day
Starting point is 00:19:12 because they knew you were going out to chase something that was, to be honest, it looked very unrealistic. But there was almost this feeling of, no, you'll be staying here with us or something like. that about it. And I was like sometimes I even felt that on building sites, people would sometimes kind of, I don't know, even in just the way that you know if they're saying like you'd get called rock star by some people. And you know it wasn't endearing. It was almost like a little like, look where you, you haven't got to almost a reminder. Exactly. And luckily, I, but that was a minority. Like I, I found some people that I'd work on building sites with that were really lovely and just
Starting point is 00:19:51 like normal, normal people. And be happy if you had sense. Yeah, yeah, that loved music themselves and liked having conversations about like old records that they grew up with and just things that they could connect with. Just, it's basically being a human being. Do you think you learn about how to be in touch with your feelings from a good male role model? Was your, did you ever see your dad cry or express himself? Not regularly.
Starting point is 00:20:18 When my uncle passed away, I saw my dad cry. to my studio and I just hugged him and it was the first time that we'd ever had that sort of connection because working together with a parent, as anyone that's listening to this that does that, it can be so straining on your relationship. There were times that me and my dad would be screaming at each other on building sites, just trying to find ways to get along and it'd almost be sure like there's no way we'll have like, we'll be able to have a relationship. We get on each other's nerves too much. But that's just like almost a little season of life. If you can get through that. I don't like my best powers. Like I, and I was always the idiot. It was always me
Starting point is 00:20:55 that wanted to do things my own way and my dad just knew he'd been doing the job so much longer. He knew that I was just going down a route of total failure if I was using this particular tool to fit something. He was like, don't waste your time change it. And I was like, let me try, you know, and learn myself. And it's just the classic situations like that. But I didn't obviously get a lot of feeling from my dad in terms of. him opening up and I think I struggle to open up and wear my heart on my sleeve. And that's, I think it's why I like being on my own sometimes because I can make sense and unpack everything if I'm on a walk. So like, I like going to the peak district like five days
Starting point is 00:21:37 and just walk nonstop and like live in this weird sort of routine where I come back to wherever I'm staying, usually like just a little cabin or something, have the same dinner. Every night, I don't have to think about anything, come back. dinner, go to sleep and then wake up and go walk for like nine hours. Just non-sum. It sounds like I'm talking bullshit, but it's the truth. What happens when something happens to you that is upsetting and that routine and structure is upset? What happens? Well, I think I just deal with it, but I don't realize that me dealing with it is usually just like pushing it somewhere into some cavern where I forget about it. Like the kidnapping story. No, no, I, yeah. I, yeah, no, I, yeah,
Starting point is 00:22:20 I'm not afraid of, I'm not afraid of crying. Usually when I cry, it's like, I don't know where it's coming from. It would just come from total. I've guessed that, that, um, packing box is rammed full. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I just need like a, like a steam valve or something. Do you often say, I don't, if someone says what's wrong, you're like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:22:39 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm not really sure. And I do try and like, um, obviously I consider myself an optimistic person. I always look at the glass half full and that was what my parents instilled in me for sure and I'm really grateful for that because that has been almost like the doctrine for my whole life and I truly feel that way
Starting point is 00:23:01 I know the sort of the pathways where I can find joy and happiness and I don't tend to take things too seriously I know that there are things within and without my control that I can fix like I am aware of the problems of the world I'm aware that the world has never been in a state of utopia or peace. We keep falling over the same stumbling block and probably will do until we no longer exist.
Starting point is 00:23:33 So there are things that you can understand with that and then realize, okay, well, that big picture doesn't have to define everything in my life and everything around me. It's just that the things that I can change aren't as sexy as the massive problem. and the massive fires that are almost need an elevation of consciousness for them to solve. And that's time. What kind of little daily things do you try and do to make a change maybe in an unnoticed way? I love chatting to people and just having conversations. So again, this is quite strange because I love being on my own, but then I love meeting someone when I'm on my own that hasn't, that's come out of the blue.
Starting point is 00:24:16 You're naturally someone who's like, if I can help you, I will. Yeah, but that's exactly what I'm talking about, right? There are things that you can do and there's things that you can't. So just lead with that foot. I think it's wonderful. There was this moment. I think having kids has changed my capacity because I did have, I had a homeless man live in my house for maybe just over two years. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:43 But what was amazing was like his dignity. He's a friend. still is, but he was homeless and he was sleeping on the streets for a while. And then I was like, I can't let you do that. But I didn't have kids at the time, so it affected no one other than me. Yeah. And what was amazing was he was so sort of full of pride that he got the key from me. And then he'd let himself, he'd say roughly what time do you go to bed?
Starting point is 00:25:10 And he'd come in after that time and roughly what time do you wake up? and he'd always leave before that time. And there was only, it's quite beautiful in a way. There was only like tiny little signals that he'd been there. Yeah. And sometimes I'd see him because he was a musician as well, like around Soho and stuff. And I'd be like, do you even live at my house? And he'd say, yeah, I'm there every single night.
Starting point is 00:25:36 Yeah. But I just make sure that I don't want to infringe on your life. But it's way better than when I used to sleep in the Thai effect. He used to sleep on tyres. But like sometimes you can do that. And then eventually the homeless charity gave him a flat. And then he was like, thank you. Yeah, that's good fast.
Starting point is 00:25:54 Because for two years, I've had somewhere to put my head down. Yeah. And I've got this, you know, flat now. And it's like, do you know what I mean? But then sometimes you can help someone like that and it doesn't really impact you. No. It felt easy. It was like.
Starting point is 00:26:10 Within your capability. But I probably wouldn't do that now that I've got kids because I'd be worried. Like how's that going to impact them? You know, who is the guy? I'd be more cautious. But on yourself. Natural. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:20 It's just like. But I think that, and I'm lucky to have experienced a lot of that sort of kindness as well. Because when you're touring around and like in the band that I mentioned before, you can't, you don't make a living doing that stuff. You're eating dollar menu from Wendy's or something like that every night. You cannot afford anymore. That's why even the person that we kidnapped was helping us, you know? But it's people on the road that like the music are like come and stay with us or if you've got any, if you're in the middle of America and you've got like mad tooth fake and you need to get a tooth removed, all of a sudden, it's like if you put things out there, it's, it's miraculous sometimes how the universe seemingly puts a dentist in the crowd. Because this has happened. I've been a part of this where you're like, oh yeah, hey, I saw on, and this would have been like Facebook era, like saw that one of you guys has a tooth fake. I'm actually.
Starting point is 00:27:14 a dentist, if you come with me now, we can go to my shop and get it. It sounds bullshit, but it happened. I've seen it all over the place or like someone's just in need of some weird niche kind of ailment that needs fixing. And all of a sudden it's like, cool, there you go. And it happens when you give that energy out there. If you meet something like, oh, cool, I've met this person. I'm not trying to change the world. How can I solve, I don't know, some global crisis, this is a mammoth like tower that cannot be solved by you, and it's arrogance to think it can. But what you can do is find these tiny everyday micro moments where you can inject some kind of kindness, because what that does is impact that singular person at a level where they
Starting point is 00:28:06 then walk away from that interaction and go, you know what, today I thought the world was maybe darker then it really is. And if that happens all over the place, when we talk about elevating human consciousness, that's what we're talking about, because it is just a state of everyone thinking, huh, maybe it's not as bad as they're telling us. And if that happens in a chain reaction,
Starting point is 00:28:31 there's only one way that consciousness can elevate. I love that. That's the reason not to be sad. I can't imagine, with you that you've ever done anything bad, but you're like, because you're so kind and you're a god-fearing man. I was thinking about this on the way here.
Starting point is 00:29:09 I was thinking maybe bad situations I've been in. Yes. I've had quite a few near-death experiences, like three that I can remember now, which were quite dodgy. So the first one was, it's almost like final destination. Like the first ones are drowning. and this was in Hawaii so I was surfing and I remember finding this old board it was called Sparky
Starting point is 00:29:31 so it was named Sparky by whoever shaped it back in the 70s like this old 9 foot single finns gorgeous and I was learning on that and it was in Hawaii, Honolay Bay and there was a storm had rolled in I think maybe two nights before and on that beach a lot of people will build TPs out of some of like the branches of trees that wash up during storms because you get a lot of palm tree, like massive palm trees. So people build teepees on the beach all the way down. So when you're surfing, it's pretty good practice to have a marker on the shore so you know if you're in a rip or something like that, you know you haven't moved.
Starting point is 00:30:11 So I'd be looking at that bronze eagle statue. I'd be like, right, cool, he's still there. It means I haven't moved. But I used a teepee that day. And obviously there was loads of them. So I didn't realize. that I drifted to an area, because Honolet Bay is massive. I drifted all the way up to the other side of the beach
Starting point is 00:30:29 towards an area they called pine trees where the waves are drastically different towards the pier and pine trees at that end. And this storm was still affecting the swell. And the waves were ginormous to where I drifted from. And it wasn't until a new set had come in that I realized I was in the wrong area and totally out of my ability.
Starting point is 00:30:54 And the first wave that I saw, I looked around, it was like the cover of Day After Tomorrow from my angle. Do you know, like where I'm paddling on the board, and I look up and I see the lip of this wave, and it's like frothing up and coming down. And I jumped, like just abandoned the board, dove as deep as I could, and the wave hit the surfboard.
Starting point is 00:31:17 This is like a solid nine-foot board. You could have been on it. Well, I popped up, and I saw the two halves of the board in the air, one half of it still attached to my leg. And then so I'm like, shit, that's a powerful wave because it's broke my board in half. And then I turn around and there's the next wave in the set coming. And now I'm right where the board was. The wave hits me on the head.
Starting point is 00:31:40 And it plunges me so deep. You know, when you close your eyes in a lit room, you can see the light almost through the skin of your eyes. It went completely black and completely cold. because it pushed me down that deep and I was just in a washing machine all over the place. And 10 seconds underwater, somewhere like that, feels like a lifetime. You don't get enough.
Starting point is 00:32:03 When you're panicked, you're not, you haven't got enough oxygen. And I basically washed up on the shore. Lois is, I can see run it. It was like a film like all dazed and like, Lois is running down to me. I'm on the floor like red-eyed and just all my muscles aching. And I was just in bed, I think, for two weeks after that.
Starting point is 00:32:26 Every muscle pulled, this bored, broken, like in my priors possession sort of thing. And, yeah, that was near. Pretty near. Because I blacked out. You know, I was on the beach. Just totally didn't know what happened. So just thank God I washed up. And next one was I had a head-on collision with a lorry on the M-25.
Starting point is 00:32:51 What are you in your car? Yeah, me and Lois drive. Lois was driving and motorways in full flow. And all of a sudden this lorry drifts into our lane and doesn't see us. Lois has got a slam on the brakes, but it's pouring rain as well. So the car, the amount of braking she's got to do, the car spins. And we turn around behind this lorry as an Argos Lorry coming straight towards us. We're in that lane and the Argos Lorry hits the car.
Starting point is 00:33:21 car straight is like I see it and the it's again like a film the headlights are just shining towards us I jump over Lois like this like amazing to know that was your response I know I'm glad that that happened because I know but it was subconscious I didn't know about it but it's brownie it's brownie points to this day though yeah when you get when you get close to things like who really am I yeah yeah yeah I was that's who you are yeah I was pretty stoked about it yeah but So this lorry is just like doing this, you know, and he hits the front of our car. We spin and I remember we kind of, I then look up and go, and I go, we're fucking alive. Like, I literally remember screaming them words because we're just looking down the barrel of death.
Starting point is 00:34:08 Yeah. And then we're both like in floods of tears. And then it really quickly brought us back down to earth when cars were beeping. Like move out of the way. Yeah, exactly. It's like a movie. And the last one, the last one, I was... I'm great, episode three.
Starting point is 00:34:26 I was cleaning a machine for my dad. It was like a, they'd call it like a table saw. So it's just this big thing. You'd have a, like, you'd put timber on it and the saw blades on top and it just cuts timber, that down the middle. But I used to clean all the machines. So I'd had my head in that machine. By the blade. Yeah, because I used to be obsessed with keeping the joinery shop clean.
Starting point is 00:34:50 I'd like to a point strike me as a very you thing with the OCD yeah I know like but to a weird point like this place looked like you'd build satellites in there do you know it was there weren't a hair anywhere so I've got my head in this machine like hoovering bits of sword I style
Starting point is 00:35:06 while someone's using it so stupid anyway and obviously it's really loud everyone's got ear defenders on there pushing it remember there was a Polish worker that was there called Victor and he saved my life because he warned Richard, the guy that was on the saw
Starting point is 00:35:22 that my head was right where this lever was about to hit. So he shouts, I dropped my little dustpan and brush because Victor's tapping me on the shoulder and I look around, I see this bar and if he weren't there, it would just crush my head in the thing.
Starting point is 00:35:37 What were you doing with cleaning an inactive machine? I was pissing me off that. I could see sawdust going over my clean floor. So I was like, I'd just get it straight away. The OCD was more important than your life itself. Yeah. But it's meant it.
Starting point is 00:35:49 Sam. So these things, like, I just know. I haven't had one in a while, so hopefully. Pleased no more. That is all quite insane and bad. So you saw a UFO in Hawaii? Well, I thought I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:10 And I still claim it. I still, it was magic. Like, so since then. Never seen one. No. And since then you've been like a little bit fascinated with extraterrestrial or the existence of. Yeah. So I've got a quick fire section on UFOs just to see.
Starting point is 00:36:28 But I want you not to think too much. Short answers. Are you scared of aliens? No. Is there a multiverse? Yeah. Have you ever been anally probed? Please don't lie.
Starting point is 00:36:45 It was one time I was particularly lucky. Stop. No, I haven't. I haven't. Damn. Maybe then I would be scared of aliens. Do you think aliens are nicer than us? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:05 Were you jealous of Katie Perry singing in space? No. Did God make aliens? I guess, yeah. Made everything. Yeah, why not? So we like to end this podcast on a high, which is very... That wasn't the high.
Starting point is 00:37:26 That was amazing. And just ask you, What makes you glad? And I'm aware that like every day we change our mind. So you won't be held to it. But today, what makes you glad? What makes me glad today? I had the chance to get to know each other and work together.
Starting point is 00:37:47 And it's been so fun and lovely. So lovely that I didn't get you a present in return. I'm joking. I don't care. But just I guess like realizing that you don't have to pigeonhole yourself. in life as well. It's quite a nice, freeing thought. You know what? I love that about you because before you came, I actually said it to the crew.
Starting point is 00:38:08 I said, there aren't that many people that I feel as a person because I'm a bit like, hmm, size everyone up, that I can pigeonhole pretty much everyone, but you're somebody I can't, and I love that about you. Oh, well, that's very kind of you. Because you always challenge me. I appreciate that. It makes me glad to know you. Thanks so much for coming on. Thank you. Sam.
Starting point is 00:38:31 It means so much fun. Sam Ryder! Cheers. So lovely to see ya. Sam, it was a pleasure and I'm so happy that you are alive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that is a lot. They've tried.
Starting point is 00:38:47 You're a really special person. Love you to pieces. You take care of yourself, okay? Safe travels. I'll see you very soon. Yeah, I might see you with a baby and arms next time. Yeah, come to the show, right? I'll sort it out.
Starting point is 00:38:58 Yes. All right. Love you. Bye. Bye. I just love him. He's the brother I never had. Well, wasn't that great?
Starting point is 00:39:12 All of the links of everything we mentioned in the show can be found in the episode description. Oh, and while you're there, why not subscribe and follow the show too? See you all next time. Later's potatoes.

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