Mad, Sad and Bad with Paloma Faith - Vogue Williams: I Ran Away From My Grief and Got Married

Episode Date: June 9, 2025

Vogue Williams is a queen of podcasts; she's a mother with a great sense of humour and is incredibly beautiful. She's also recently released her first book - honestly, the comparisons between us are too numerous to mention.Vogue opened up about her fear of death and how losing her dad sent her into a spiral of being wild and reckless. She shared the story of the worst thing she's ever done - it involves stealing, lying, and it made my jaw drop... We joked about posh people, and Vogue told me about the depths of her anxiety which can make her feel mad at times.I absolutely loved chatting to Vogue - we laughed from start to finish - even if my neighbour Nicky did try to sabotage the interview to talk about the bin collection!If you'd like to read Vogue's new book, Big Mouth you can find it here: www.amazon.co.uk/Big-Mouth-hilarious-heartwarming-hyperactive/dp/0008743371And thanks to my neighbour, Nicky, for popping by - you can follow him on IG @nickyjohnstone#VOGUEWILLIAMS #PALOMAFAITH #MADSADBAD—Find us on: Instagram / TikTok / YouTube—Credits:Producer: Jemima RathboneAssistant Producer: Magda Cassidy & Ceyda UzunVideo: Josh Bennett & Grisha NikolskySound: Shane O'ByrneMix: Miles WhewayOriginal music: BUTCH PIXYSocial Media: Laura CoughlanExec Producer for JamPot: Jemima RathboneExec Producers for Idle Industries: Dave Granger & Will MacdonaldVogue photo by Ruth Rose Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Paloma Faith and this is my show. Each week I welcome someone fantastic into my home to talk about what makes them mad, sad and bad. Roll recording. Would you stop? I'm so excited to meet you. You too. Oh my gosh, it's cool.

I've been a fan of yours for ages. Well, that's bullshit. I know, I have you. You're amazing. You make you laugh. You sound a bit. Oh, yes, please. So come through.

This is the kitchen. This is my garden. Look, that that's neighbours sitting in the garden. Oh, hiya. Hi. Hi, Vogue. Hi. How are you?

What are you doing with the umbrella? Well, I'm waiting to talk to you about the community meeting and the bin collection. Can you just hurry off whatever you're doing? I'm interviewing Vogue. Oh, bothered. I need to talk to you about the bins. I think we'll do this interview. That's if I'm still here waiting.

still here waiting. Sorry. Sorry, Ben. Hi. Do you want to do your bins for a... To you, she's a podcaster, presenter, model and mum. First hitting our screens on the Irish reality show, Fade Street. She's become a regular fixture on the podcast charts,

hosting the award-winning My Therapist Ghosted Me with her friend, Joanne McNally, Vogan Amber, with her sister Amber, and Never Live It Down where she discusses, Ground, Swallow You Up Moments with Guess. She's a mum of three and has just really least her first but big mouth. I can't wait as a fellow one. But to me, she's a woman I've never actually met. But once I did do Bake Off with her husband who I'd tease for the entire day about his narcissism for the whole show. After feeling like maybe I'd broken him a little bit,

he looked up at me with puppy dog eyes and said, I think you'd really get along with my wife. So let's find out. It's Vogue Williams. Thanks for coming to my amateur podcast. Thank you so much. You're having me. It's lacking him for being a narcissist. Sometimes I'm like, are you a sociopath?

I felt like he was looking in the reflection of the Kate Tins a whole time. He is. He has this amazing. Like, he's what we should all be. But like, you know, someone's like, what would you change about yourself? And you literally get a list out. And you're like, right, I started here.

He's like, nothing. Nothing. Not one thing. I'm like, you sure you wouldn't change that? So what actually attracted to you to the multi-millionaire hung Spencer Matthews? I'm sweating now. I'm sweating already. Sorry, Spencer, I know you hate me.

I actually know I felt it coming up in. You said that you kept slagin them for being posh. And I was like, oh, God, I do that all the time. Yeah, I know. That's why he thought we'd get along. Well, he's so posh that it's like, it's kind of disarming. You're like, Jesus. Yeah, but I've now got a posh boyfriend.

Oh, you little snake. I'm a hypocrite. And all I do is go, that was really posh. God. I know. Spenny said you spent all day slagging his accent. Yeah, I hate push people. But now I'm dating while I'm sleeping with the enemy.

Well, I know. That is very true. But you are too. I know. But like, I have a. secret. I'm considered posh in Ireland. I know, no, no, no. So you're not a true traitor like me. No, no, no, no. I just want to say to everyone from the ends where I grew up, I'm sorry, it's so weird. But I'm thinking of it more like a sort of social experiment. I don't know.

It's amazing the shit you get away with saying. It really, and that's what I said. I don't know if it will stay in. I said to someone, I'm going on Plumma Pate's podcast. I can't wait because she doesn't give a fuck. Well, you know, it's refreshing. So do you want to answer the question? Sorry, what was the question? Oh, about what attracted me to Spencer?

No, what attracted me to Spencer? He was great crack. He really was. Yeah. You know, when he meet, like, so I met him. He can take a joke. He can take a joke. He's really, because in Ireland, if we like you, we slag you.

He's very well able to take a slagging. But when I first met him, he was just so much fun. And all my gay friends were like, folk, you better sleep with him. Because he's a gay pinup. He's a gay pinup. He really is. He's like the maple thought of our dreams. Yeah, he just, honestly, all the gays were after him.

And I was like, I'm not going to sleep with him, but I'm going to be really good friends with him because I really liked him because I was trying to be single. Yeah. And then we just kept coming back to him. together, coming back together, and then four vodkas later. And three kids now and a marriage. And a marriage, yeah, seven years next month. Wow, congrats. You're doing better than I did on mine.

I broke up with my kids' dad. Well, you only had one marriage so far. I'm on two. I wasn't married. I had one marriage when I was 23. That lasted 10 months. That's not that bad. 10 months.

You probably have another marriage in you then. Oh, yeah, definitely. I've got to marry the posh boy. Marry the Posh boy, your kids will start going to eat and stuff like that. You won't know yourself. No, no way. I'll take him to the working man's club for a wedding. To the calf?

Yeah. The local calf for the after bit. You won't find any in Chelsea though. So tell me about your madness. I was thinking of different madness things because you know when you think to yourself, God, that was mental. Yeah. When you have like just a really weird thing happened to you.

I get really bad anxiety and sometimes I'll have a panic attack it can be over absolutely nothing and I'll just go on this mad tirade in my head about how it catastrophes absolutely everything it happened to me and me and Sven had gone away and we're like we're going to go away try once a year without the kids

we've gone on this three day trip to the Amalfi and my manager had booked in a shoot for me the day I got back and then I was flying to Australia for a tour and I was like I just started having an internal breakdown about like that I wasn't going to see the kids when I got back for a day or two days. And then I'd have to do shoot and then I thought so I just started and I could feel myself slipping on the day and I was like just be normal be normal. You're in the himalfi. Relax. And then I went and I got into bed and I was, I weirdly was able to fall asleep, woke up with a jolt about an

hour later and then started having a full on panic attacks. Fennie obviously doesn't get panic attacks. Yeah. I'm in bedside. I'm like this and he's just like oh my God. And I was like, no, this is going to And then crying. And then I was waking myself up crying every so often. And he was just like, what the hell is going on? And then I found myself on the balcony and a dressing again, like trying to do journaling. And I was like, you are fucking mental. The voices. And then like eventually like five in the morning, I was able to go back asleep. And then I woke up the next day and I was like, really went over the edge there. And I was just say. But I feel so sorry for you because I know what it feels like. And I feel like motherhood in itself is just a

form of madness. Yeah. And that's part of it is like the constant pull between working and doing all your bit. Yeah. I'm wanting to do it. I'm really enjoying being a mother, but really enjoying working as well. And you just have that guilt. And I think you're right. Like parenthood is just chaos, permanent chaos. And you're kind of driven to men to the loss as well because you're like, it can be so all-consuming and brilliant, obviously at the same time, but you just, it can be quite chaotic. I'm really mental today because I'm two days before my period. So I feel like a whale sat next to you. And that's...

You don't look like one. Thank you. But I feel absolutely... You are dressed like an worker though. Yeah. I... You're so beautiful. So are you.

I'll shut up. You are. The voice is in my hair. You have a tiny little nose. The nose is good. I agree. I'm happy with the nose. I'd like the nose name.

I just really, really think I love your face, but it's really hard to listen to anything you're saying, well, you're sat there because it's so beautiful. You don't deserve her, Spencer. He gets on flights sometimes. We're flying to Ireland and the airhouse desks because I know a lot of them because it's Erdingus. It's an Irish airline.

And I fly all the time and they're always like, aren't you so lucky? And he's like, why can't anyone just say that to you? Why do they all have to say it to me? And I'm like, because we're Irish and we all stick together. I remember that. Well, in the gay clubs, it sounds like they say it to you. In the gay clubs, now they're mad for him.

Yeah, exactly. So that's his moment. How are you in crisis with your kids if you suffer anxiety? Like, what if one of them hurts themselves? Are you good in a crisis? I'm quite good in things like that. It's weird things that, like, my anxiety will be set off by. I'm not anxious around things like that.

I think, do you know what I think? I think when he, when he first of, have kids, I think that all of a sudden you worry about things that you never worried about before. You worry so much about dying because not for yourself, because I never cared about dying before when I was doing all the things that could have killed me. I was like happily enjoying my life. Yeah. But like when you have kids, you've got somebody that you have to protect and to be responsible for. And I think that that's when you worry a lot about dying. Like, I'm a weirdo about dying. If I see really old people, just people I don't know on the street. And if I see.

see them, I'm like, Jesus Christ, they must be so worried. They're so close to it. They're so close to it. I'm like, what are they going to do? Do you speak to your parents openly about it? Because I do with my mum, I'll be like, oh, mum, stop it. You're close to the grave. Stop worrying about it. No. Don't you? My mom is, I know she's a bit worried about it now, so I can't bring it up. Oh, my mum and I just banter about it the whole time. She's like, oh, get over yourself, Paloma. I'll be dead tomorrow. And I'm just like, you're You're actually right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll stop sweating you about it. You do consider that kind of stuff. It's like, I need to spend more time with you.

Yeah. I need to. She's like, can we go out for a cocktail? Just ask for once. Because I'll be dead soon. I'm just like, I'm not drinking about 78. You're like, maybe. I wouldn't. No, she's not that case. Yeah, but soon. 80 is the average age of death. Yeah, but I'm looking at less than five years, aren't I? No, but I reckon you never know. She could go to 90.

I'm devastated in advance of my mum dying. But what do you think's worst case scenario? So like with your anxiety, where do you go in terms of like what's the worst thing that could happen other than death? Like intrusive thoughts are mad. Okay, what kind of things have you thought up? This is so, like, I remember I wrote a bit of book. This is to say so, no one's going to see this. No one's going to hear this.

It's fine. I remember, I wrote in the book and I was like, I'd be pushing my son in the buggy and we'd be in this island that was really hilly. And I just have to repeat to myself, don't, don't let go the buggy, don't let go the buggy, things like that. In case he goes down. Yeah, because it would be the worst thing that you could ever think that could happen and you're just like, don't let go of that, don't let go of that.

Just mad thoughts, but I think people... I have that all the time. Like, I have loads of things about not wanting to fall downstairs in case my front teeth are knocked out. Oh, God. And so I run downstairs like this. That's not going to save them. I think they'll just pierce the skin, wouldn't they?

They go, I did that when I was younger. I lost, I think I lost something like 80s at the same time, yeah, pretending to be on a Zimmerframe. Was that before the big teeth came or were they all false teeth? No, that was before the big teeth. I just was like hoping that your teeth were false so I could imagine you putting them in a glass at night because I'm so jealous of how beautiful you are.

My teeth? Just like, at least there'll always be that stroke of midnight where she puts her teeth in a glass. I have really dark circles if that helps. You're still beautiful, though. Let's move on to Sad, because you said that Sad was death. So I just want to know, like, if you are planning your own death, what's the funeral looked like?

My funeral's going to be great crack. Describe. It is because in Ireland, you see, we do it really differently. Okay. So over here you hold on to the baths for quite a while a long time. Tell they decompose and stuff. It's just kind of, it's a lot for me. Like my friend was going to a funeral the other day and her grandmother died in Easter.

I'm like, what the fuck has the ground even doing? Where has she been? And so my dad died on a Friday morning and he was buried by Sunday. It's a very quick in-and-out job. How old were you when that happened? I was probably 24 when that happened. So that's really young. Yeah.

That was that was kind of, that was the sadness around death, not about thinking that everyone was going to die. But I think that when you lose somebody so close to you, that's, it's such a, it's really frightening because that's your parents. That's somebody who's meant to be there

and look after you. And then you don't really expect them to die. But I suppose with my dad, I kind of did expect him to die because he was great fun, but he smoked, he drank a lot. He used to put butter.

on his chips. He never exercised. He never paid taxes. He was just like... A man of his own rules. Wild. Yeah. He was really good fun. I say he died of fun. Do you think you're quite like organized and all of that to sort of counter that? Because he was a bit out of there all over the place. Yeah. He was like, are you a real follower? Yeah. Weirdly, I'm somebody who appears like I break all the rules and I do within myself. But when it comes to like the biggest stuff, I'm very organized by the book. Yeah. Like I've never really been wild. People are always shocked to hear that I've never tried drugs. I've never like.

Have you not? No. And I really don't drink that much or anything. Yeah. But I think it's all control stuff. So rule following in some ways. But when a rule can't be justified to me as they're being a good reason for it and it's just about authority, then I break it. Yeah. I don't like people having authority over me. No, I don't like that, but I find at airports they do a lot.

Yeah. And you have to be really in line in an airport. But I'm the same as you. I don't really like the taste of alcohol. I don't drink that much. I think the odd time I like to go out and drink to kind of lose control a little bit. But no more. Yeah, it's fun if you're going to, I'm a bit like that. I'm extreme. Like I won't just have a glass of one with dinner. I'm either going in or I'm not doing it.

That's exactly because I never get invited to the pub or anything because I'm like. But I say to people, Let's get wasted. And then three drinks in. And everyone's like, she's only had three. And I'm like, let me tire up to the policeman with a traffic cone. Yeah, you're not wild. I'm like that, though.

I'd rather have loads of drink. Binge drinkers. That's what we are. Yeah. A binge drinker, but in a good way because you don't do it that often. Yeah. When your dad passed away, was it a devastating funeral, like an Irish funeral? Or is there like people making jokes as well?

They're not somber and sad. Because I've only been to quite funny funerals that were terrible situations. But most people I'm related to make jokes in terrible situations. I think that everybody, well, not everybody, I suppose. I like to kind of make jokes around grief and death because I think it makes it easier to kind of deal with. It's like a coping mechanism. Big time. But I think with his funeral, so he was in my auntie's house on a Friday. We had a big wake there. I remember like, I'm going to see dragging all my poor friends and being like, you have to come and say goodbye to him. Because on Irish funeral. People are like, do you want to come in and say goodbye. And I'm always like, no, no, no, no. To the body or he was alive. Oh. It's an open casket. Yeah, we all do. A lot of that land. My auntie has a rule. She's like, I want my nails painted, pillar box red and the casket closed. But like in a. Ireland, it's usually an open casket. But I don't really like going in and seeing dead bodies. And sometimes

you have to. And then you just remember. Honey that. With your major anxiety, big death and you don't like to sing dead bodies. I'm not mad about a dead body. I have to admit, I'm not trying to be rude. But I think that even his funeral, as sad as it was, because we were all quite young, it was still just a celebration of his life. And like, everybody had loads of drinks on the Friday and then on the Sunday it was like a big party after his funeral. So and we have a huge family as well. So it was it was kind of made into like a fun party vibe. And then the sadness came after. The sadness great after the event's finished. Yeah. I think the sadness came a long time after because really, I then broke up from a long term relationship like nearly a nearly seven year

relationship, met somebody else, went to Australia, got married and did all that mad. stuff again back into the mad. Yeah. And like, which I never would have done, which was completely out of character for me. I just ran off and kind of I just wanted to get away from the grief of it all and just avoid it and avoid people always being like, oh, how are you getting on? I just didn't want that anymore. And I think that that's why my mind kind of flipped and then I just ran off and got married at 26. But that was your first marriage? My first marriage, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love getting married. I do. Why? I love the day.

Juniors and weddings, recovering at all. What's great about the big day? I love the organization of it, to be honest with you. Just knowing what's going to happen. And the presents. Do you love knowing what's coming? I do. The only thing I find awkward is walking down the aisle, you're a bit like,

oh, God, here we go again. Second time. Don't look at me. Or are you on third or second? Second, second. I think the second will stick, but now because I know it's going to stick. Do you sing? Yeah. That's good.

But now that I know it's going to stick, or feel like it's going to stick. I'm like, we should organise, like, a 10-year anniversary thing because we didn't have a real wedding. We kind of had a registry office wedding in his parents' house, which was so nice that we then decided to just have that as our wedding. Did you have an obsession with death when you were a child? Never.

It was, I swear, it just started happening when I had kids because I was so concerned about leaving them and not wanting to leave them. To quote the great Kim Kardashian. It's a great thinker. Great thing. She actually posted this thing to her Instagram. She's actually a lawyer.

Yeah, she is actually very intelligent. But she posted this thing to her Instagram that you're raising your children to live without you basically. And I was like, oh my God, that's so sad. And I read that. And I was like, oh, my God, I can't believe it. You have to, like you're trying to leave them with. Independence. Yeah.

And everything. So now I'm trying to teach my older son to put his stuff in the dishwasher and all life's good lessons. Can he cook? No, he cannot. He's only, he's six. Okay. Soon. My three-year-old can cut a whole race.

I'm not sure, not actually. Does Spenny cry? Not really. He doesn't cry. He doesn't have a lot of empathy. Wow. He's a real catch. He's just, he's so, he is.

He's funny. He's very funny. He's like the nicest person you're on me. He's really kind to people and he's very charismatic. But he just, I don't know, he has a real get up and go. He doesn't wallow in this. things. He's never like, he's gone through really difficult things in his life and he's just, they've kind of passed him by and he deals with things really well. And like, for instance, if somebody is,

if somebody was giving him like a bashing in the press or something like that, you know the way sometimes, like it certainly gets to me. Yeah, same. He would just be like, no, I just don't care because it's so over his head. He's just like, that's not real life. That's not what I'm dealing with. That's so healthy. He's really good at stuff like that. But would you think it was, unattractive or attractive if he cried? I wouldn't mind if he's cried. I'm trying to think if I've ever seen him cry. Like I started crying at the TV the other night and he was like,

what are you doing? But it was three times in a row now. It was a very sad episode. Do you look beautiful when you cry? No. What do you look like? I'm going to send you a picture of me right tonight when I take off my makeup. And you're going to be like, yes.

You're going to feel so good. This is the photo I needed. Thank you. You'll be absolutely thrilled. I'll be right in three days when my period starts. Anyway, I'll be fine. And I'll shut up. I'll send you, I'll send you with my recent bits that I've had done as well.

You'll be like, okay. She's had help. Send me the address and phone number immediately. Tell me about being bad. What's your relationship with it? I'm very surprised that you weren't bad. You give off that vibe. Yeah, but I feel like I am sort of.

within my own parameters, but everything's very controlled. Yeah. I was a nightmare teenager. Like, I don't know how my parents dealt. Well, they didn't really deal with me. I did get kicked out a couple of times. Of the house? Yeah.

Where did you go? I went to my dad's house. So my parents, my stepdad and my mom, they were very strict, really, really strict. We weren't really allowed out after school. We were only allowed out certain times at the weekend. And we would get phone calls at like eight in the same. morning to get up and hoover the stairs and wash the cars and clean the kitchen. And that was kind of like, we had weekend jobs. But actually in hindsight, really worked well for us as we got

older. But when I was younger, I wasn't really interested in that. And because my parents had got a divorce, I played the system really well. So my mum, I'd ask to go to something, let's say a festival when I was 16. And she was like, you're not going to a festival when you're 16. So I'd say, you're actually dead right. And none of my friends are going now anyway. And then I'd just go to my dad's house and I'd go to the festival. He did what you want. Well, that's the kind of bad. I was. Yeah. Yeah. I don't see that's that bad. I find that just teenager in cute. I know, but like my agent has, her daughter is 13 and I was like, oh God, is she going to drink at the prom? And she was like, no. I was like, oh, I was definitely drinking by that age. At 13.

She was like, they don't do that anymore. And I was like, wow, that's, I was in my parents, like, drinks covered with whiskey, putting whiskey in gin and anything that they had just so I didn't take too much of one thing. and it would all go into like a little, yeah, mixing it all. Did they find you drunk sometimes? Never, I manage it because you time it. So I'd go out at 11 o'clock on a Saturday morning with my dolly mixture and we'd stay out till like 6 o'clock. By 6 o'clock when you got home, you were slightly dishevelled.

Sobara. Yeah, you could go straight to the shower and you'd have had a great day. I wish I could do that now, just like hold back and not stay up late. 6 o'clock in bed, dream. Have you ever worried that your kids? will turn into rebellious teens to pay you back? I hope they are nothing like me. Honestly, honestly.

Were you floundering? No, I'm really annoyed about that, to be honest, and I'll never do that now. Do you mean having a slutty time? Yeah. Never. I know. I'm really, I'm honestly, I think about,

I think, as many, you said that to me before, he was like, are you going to turn like 45 and think, I just want to go out and have fun now because you've just been, you've been so relaxed, you're all. I've always been in relationships. And I do consider that. And like, that's when I broke up for my last marriage. I was like, right, I'm going to go out there and live my life and go and meet loads of men.

And it just didn't happen. I just think some people are just wired differently. And I just wasn't wired like that. But when I was younger, another thing that I did, this is probably the worst thing I ever did. So I was, me and my Fred were planning on going on holiday to Ben and Medina. We were 16. And we wanted to go on her own. So her mom was quite relaxed.

She told her mom she was staying with my dad, and I told my mom I was going to stay with my dad. And then I told my dad I was going to stay with her. And so then for like two weeks or three weeks before the holiday, my dad was a used car salesman. So he always had loads of cash in the house. I used to just like, I basically robbed all my money for the holiday in two weeks. I know. Oh my God, you're a thief. That is bad.

Only our family. I only steal from family. What? I only have ever stolen. from big corporations. I'm too scared to do that. When we were kids, we used to have someone like an allocated thief and then they'd go to like a big designer shop and you'd put your order in.

And I never wanted for much because naturally I've never wanted much stuff. But I was really paranoid about the fact I didn't have boobs. So I really wanted a wonder bra. My mum wouldn't let me have one. And then someone at school said, what do you want? A Wonderbra and they stole me a Wonderbra. And I wore it every single day until like literally the fabric just disintegrated. I know.

Have you seen the Victoria's Secret one which is like a triple boob? Is that new? This isn't the triple boob. This is my double boob because I also have notice. Yeah. And if you take it off, you can hear it dropping on the ground. It's like, VDUF. Really?

It sounds brilliant. It's amazing. I love it. So one day you have boobs and then. then the next day you don't have boobs and Marks and Spencer have a really massive one as well. That's slightly more natural. A chunky bra. So any short lifters watching, we'd both like one.

I used to do that with Miss Elfridge. Did you do that? Did you do a shop? At least I wasn't stealing designer stuff. So my friends would do it. I didn't even do it. I was one of the worst. I was a ringleader.

So I asked somebody else to do it. And then I just took it and didn't. I mean, I didn't even get in trouble. Did you have to pay them? No. You see, I had to pay my friend. They just enjoyed it. They were an addict of shoplifting.

They loved it. You found their number on their baby. Yeah. This is why I keep fighting about state education. It's a really good way to educate your kids. I could get anything at state school that I wanted. I had a car stereo. You got a car stereo?

Yeah, they just got it for 25 pounds. Oh my God. do it. I've never committed a crime. I've just asked other people to do it on my behalf. Yeah, so I don't know if that's an accessory. Is that an accessory to a crime? I've done that as well because I was too scared to rob something. Oh yeah. I mean, I'm a scaredy cat. I'm so, so scared of stuff. I'm scared of everything. Honestly, anything to do with like taxes and stuff like that. Like, I've got my stepdad looks after my finances because I'm so scared to mess something up. I'm like, you just take care of it. I don't want to look.

Yeah, but do you go home at night and just think, what did I say? I mean, this is the worst podcast for you to do for that because I don't even know what I've said or what you said. As I walk out the door, I'm going to be like, be nice, put in the nice stuff I said about spending up. If you text me later and say, did I say that? I'll say, I don't know. That's the problem. I know, no, I'll have to not think about it now.

I might have a drink later, even though I said I wasn't going to drink at all. What was the accessory to a crime you were? I used to send my friends in to do the Miss Selfridge stacks of eye shadow and stuff. Oh yeah. Trinny London kind of does them now, so I might get them to pop in there for me. But I had to pay them. So you'd have to pay them. It was only like three euro or something and they'd go in and rob you because a couple of the girls were really good at stealing.

I love that stuff. But I feel like I've always been, I don't know about you, but I've always been. been quite excited by other people doing bad stuff and not doing it myself. I love seeing people get in trouble. Yeah, or like at school, or you know, like at school when you knew who did the thing and the teachers were interrogating everyone and you're like, in your mind you're like, I know, you did it. But you're like, I'm not telling them.

I'm a bit of a rat now, I have to say. Oh, are you? I rat in my sister and, like I'd still ratting my siblings now. Would you? I'd ring my mom, like, do you know what she just did, mom? I always. Yeah, I'm terrible for it. I'm a rat. Is that an oversharer or a rat? Do you take pleasure in grassing them up? I take pleasure in ratting out my sister.

Do you? My four sister couldn't get away with anything when she was younger because I'd go and tell my mom. Do your kids tell on each other? Yeah, all the time because they're three, four and six. So they, and I have to tell them, I'm like, you can't keep telling tales on each other. But they will do it all the time. But you do it. I do it as well.

I know I should really be practicing when I preach. But my son will like go out with his nanny. And she's so nice. Like obviously their nannies give them everything they want. And especially she's mom. My mom gave them ice cream once a 10 to 5. I'm like, mom, they're having their dinner at 5. In 5 minutes.

God. And he'll come back and he'll be like, he'll have gone for a sleep over. Nanny Jane. And I was led to watch TV till I fell asleep last night. And then I watched TV this morning. So he'll come and rat in himself. And then I'm like, well, now you can't have TV tonight. And he's just like, what?

I'm like, well, you had your TV time this morning. He's confessional. He sounds like you. Like I've done this. My thing's always like, I've done this terrible thing. And then you say it. And it's not everyone's like, it's not that bad. I think if you're, yeah, but isn't a problem shared problem half?

So if you feel like you've done something really bad. If you say it to somebody, it's like, okay, I feel better now. Yeah, yeah. If he killed somebody, would you tell anyone? Probably, yeah. I'm pretty like, I think that one of my madnesses is just telling everyone everything. I ever taught you that myself, to be honest. And I'd say it and then I'll just probably just walk into the police station and be like, I've done something terrible.

Take me, take me. I didn't want to do it, but there was some circumstances that led me to doing this. I mean, I can't live with the guilds. Me neither. The guilt of anything. That's why I like... But it doesn't take the guilt away if you confess to it. No, it's a touch it would, but I think that I'm such a real follower now.

Do you feel guilty about anything today? I'm spending, I'm working for a lot at the moment, so I feel a little bit guilty about that. You know that feeling yourself, but I'm working on something that I really am enjoying and everything like that, so I'm a little bit guilty. But I booked Centre Park, so I've just... Redeemed yourself. I redeemed myself. Have you been before? Yeah.

I want to ask you about that because I've literally had a fantasy about going my whole eye. Have you? Yeah. I don't care about the kids. I just want to go myself. Adults going. Can we get Centre Parks to sponsor the podcast? We're available with all the kids.

I know Spence who won't like it. He actually said this morning I really liked her. Oh, good. I liked you. I love posh people now. He must have done something for you on the day. He was quite smug about his baking, but I won't go into that. He is annoyingly good at stuff.

Oh my God. Honestly. And I was going, it's just because you've had a private education that you've got the confidence that I was never allowed to have because you basically were paid, your confidence was paid for. And he was like, are they going to leave this in the programme? Where do you got that with everything? We're going to end on our last section before I bid you farewell to just

anxious worrying about everything you said and the demise of both of our careers. Can I come and live here? Yeah, we'll hide in here until they stop worrying about it in the mail. What are you glad about? Glad about life in general. I feel like a bit of... Being alive, judging by... I'm alive.

I'm happy to be here. I think, no, I think that a bit of a rocky 20s, kind of rocky 30s as well, coming. I'm 40 this year and I actually feel like in a really good spot. I saw someone right, they wrote us an email into her pod and she was like, I'm 41. And when I looked at it written down, I was like, that's old. And then I was like, oh my God, I'm nearly 40. Yeah. I'm old.

It's an age that when you're a kid, you hear people saying you think they're past it now. Yeah. But I'm over that, by the way. So it's fine. 43. God, you look great. Well done. Thanks.

Well done. It's all that water. And the sleep. So much, Evian. I... I... I... What's a shit?

I think you're just making me laugh and that's making me sweat. Sorry, you look gorgeous. I'm glad about... I'm glad about where I am in my life now. I'm glad that, like, I'm so happy with my three kids, with my husband, my family. I have great friends. And I just feel like I'm in a really lucky stage of my life.

So everything is just kind of good at the moment. But as an anxious person, I'm like, something's going to happen. It's too good to be true. Yeah. Do you know what? Because I'm anxious also. And I actually just shuddered when you said that because somebody recently said to me and I'm actually just want to apologize in advance

because you are anxious and now you'll live with this awful feeling. Someone went to me, too good to be. be true is always too good to be true. I hate it. But that's what I felt like when I said that, I was like, now you're showing off and something bad's going to happen to you now. I hope it doesn't. I feel like you've done it. You've had enough, like speaking to you. I've done it. I've had loads of bad things. I don't want any more. You don't need more. No, not for a while. Just let me, let me enjoy this moment for a little while. You're really brave. Sometimes you just need to hear that, Don't you?

You're really brave. I don't remember the last time someone said that to me. Does it feel nice? Yeah, thank you. You're wonderful. I say it to my children. I go, you're really brave. Just when they've been their absolute unbravedness.

Yeah, I know. But you have to... Boost them up. Yeah, my daughter, she was flower girl at a wedding at the weekend. And I knew she's just... She was going to fuck it up, wasn't she? I knew she was going. But I was like, do you know what?

The lips started going and I said, come on, Shiji, I'll go with you. I'll walk up with you. So I'm walking up. And then I felt really uncomfortable like I was trying to barge into the wedding party or something. Were you wearing all white with a big train? Absolutely on a veil. I was like, oh shit, I thought it was my next wedding. Not trying to steal the show or anything.

Oh, your dress is nice to the bride. Nearly as nice as mine. But I'm up the top. I'm like, I'll give you, you can have any, any mermaid you want. And as she started crying more, I was like, anything, you can have anything you want, anything at all. And then she just lost it. And she started crying and I had to kind of take her off.

And then we get to her seats and she's like, can I still have my murvades? I thought, I don't think so. Absolutely fucking not. Get back there and do it again and then I'll think about it is. No, you lost that chance. And I took back the ones that you already have. You imagine? I was about to say, I really feel like you're an amazing mother.

Well, just meeting you, talking to you makes me feel glad. So thank you. Thank you. I've had a lovely time. So good. Thank you so much. You are an absolute good crack, aren't you? I love you.

You're a part. You're amazing. Tell Spencer I send my love and all the little kids. And I'll send you a picture of the face with no makeup later, yeah? Yeah, please do. And send me the phone number. of all the help that you begin. Wouldn't dream and I'll do that.

See you later. See you. Bye. I want to be best friends with her. Nikki, I've just chatted to Vogue and I'm so sorry. I know that you wanted to talk about the bins. You've got too many bins.

People are complaining. But I'm obsessed with this death thing. She's obsessed with death. Oh my God. Me too. What would your funeral be like? Well, I originally wanted a big, like, horse-drawn thing.

Oh, yeah. And no Vogue was talking about being buried. but I mean, she knew what went on at cemetery down the road. You know, with all the cruising. I mean, really? It's put me off being buried for life. Well, it's like, do you want to be cremated or do you want your corpse to be covered in calm?

Exactly. Well, wasn't that great? All of the links of everything we mentioned in the show can be found in the episode description. Oh, and while you're there, why not subscribe and follow the show too? See you all next time. Later's potato.

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