Marketing Secrets with Russell Brunson - (Q&A) Balancing Act: Navigating Marriage / Kids and Entrepreneurship...!

Episode Date: February 24, 2023

What are the secrets to having a successful marriage and family life, while still being a full time funnel hacker / entrepreneur!?! Hit me up on IG! @russellbrunson Text Me! 208-231-3797 Join my newsletter at marketingsecrets.com ClubHouseWithRussell.com Magnetic Marketing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Metrolinx and Crosslinx are reminding everyone to be careful as Eglinton Crosstown LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert, as trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals, be careful along our tracks, and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. You're listening to Marketing Secrets with your host, Russell Brunson.

What's up, everybody? This is Russell Brunson. I've got something really cool for you today from my friend, Taylor Wells. Taylor spoke at our last Funnel Hacking Live because I wanted him to share a really cool concept about what he calls the revolving pricing method. And today he decided to sponsor the podcast to give you guys more access to this super cool strategy that you are going to love. It's something we've been implementing into our high-end coaching program as well, and it is amazing. But to kind of give you some context about this offer he's making for you guys, as you may or may not know, a few years ago, JPMorgan Chase did a study, and guess what they found? They found that the average small business only has about 28 days of operating expenses in reserve.

That's right, less than a month of cash on hands. Now, if you're like me, the idea of your business being one bad month away from disaster is enough to make your stomach drop. Am I right? Especially with how the economy's been lately. It's not the time to be gambling with your finances. So, Taylor put together this book called The Revolving Pricing Method, and it's awesome. It helps you turn every client you close into a long-term profit machine. We're not talking about one-time paydays.

We're talking about creating sustainable and real predictable income for the long haul. Now, here's where it gets even better. Taylor put together an awesome exclusive deal just for you guys, my Marketing Secrets listeners. And if you go over to wealthyconsultants.com slash secrets, you can grab The Revolving Pricing Method book and over $150 worth of bonuses and get this all. It's at 70% off. And I promise you guys as a customer of this, you are going to love it. So if you're serious about growing your business with real stability, this is the model you need to add into your funnels. So go over to wealthy consultant.com slash secrets, grab your 70% off deal, and let's start turning your clients into long-term revenue.

Again, that's wealthy consultant.com slash secrets. Do not miss out. Hey, this is Russell Brunson. And I want to jump in really quick to share with you a new assessment I found out that is insanely cool. You guys know I'm obsessed with personality profiles and assessments, but this one is different because not only does it help you understand yourself, but more importantly, especially for us who are entrepreneurs, it helps us understand our employees, our teams, and get people sitting on the right seats in the bus so they can get more stuff done. I just had a chance to interview Patrick Lanchoni talking specifically about this new assessment they created called Working Genius. And the Working Genius is awesome. Like this test,

I had actually blocked out an hour to take it because I was so excited for the new assessment. And it only took me like 10 minutes or less to get it done. Yet, even though it takes only 10 minutes, like you can actually apply this immediately. I took it for myself. I had my team take it. And what's cool about it is from there, we figured out exactly what people's working geniuses are. And that's important because if you're building a team or a company, you gotta figure out, make sure that you have, first off, the right people,

but make sure the right people are sitting in the right seats on the bus. And this assessment will teach you how to do. Now, normally this assessment, you can go to workinggenius.com and there's two Gs in the middle, workinggenius.com. But I got you a 20% discount on the assessment, which is only $25. So don't stress.

It's not an expensive test at all. But you get a 20% discount off when you put in the keyword secrets at checkout. So go to workinggenius.com. Again, two G's, workinggenius, two G's in the middle, workinggenius.com. And then use promo code secrets, S-E-C-R-E-T-S at checkout. You get 25% off. But then go take the test. Again, it takes you 10 minutes.

But even in a 10-minute session, you will get something that is so insanely valuable to help you understand yourself, to make sure you're working in a spot that's going to give you the most joy, number one. But then number two, it's going to make sure that you are with your teams getting them in the right seats as well. So anyway, I love this assessment. Go check it out at workinggenius.com and enter the promo code secrets for 20% discount.

Take this test for yourself and for your team. And I promise you, it'll change the working dynamics amongst everybody and help your company to grow. What's up everybody? This is Russell Brunson. Welcome back to the Marketing Secrets Podcast. Today, we're gonna be talking relationships.

We're gonna be talking spouses and funnel building and a whole bunch of fun stuff. So this is another Q&A show. We've got some really good questions coming in from our uh from our audience so thank you guys so much for submitting them if you want to submit a question hopefully get answered live on the show go to marketingsecrets.com and submit your audio question here but today's question is actually coming from nicholas tell us and he has a really good question about relationships and spouses both in the beginning and long term and so uh with that said i'm listening to this question and We'll come back with some answers.

Hey, Russell, this is Nick. Can you cover like the top five, seven things that helped you and Colette maintain not only your marriage in the beginning, but even this far into your entrepreneurship journey? Like what would you encourage those out there who are actually on this journey of entrepreneurship that also want to not only get married, but maintain a family as well? I know as entrepreneurs, especially like even funnel hikers, it can, it can be a lonely road, but it doesn't have to be. It's, it's those you get to share that journey with. And I know there's ups and downs, not every relationship's like, you know, it's going to be rainbows and unicorns, but I'm just curious that if you, if you had few secrets, the ones that impacted you and Colette the most that we could take away as well.

Thanks. Much love. Love what you do. Have a wonderful day. All right, Nicholas. So first off, that is a great question. And I wish I had a book that could say here's all the answers. But I'm still learning it all.

And you can ask my wife. It's something I'm working on all the time. But there are some things that have definitely helped from the very beginning. So, and things that help today. So I'll kind of share a couple ideas. These are a couple tactics. It may not be the overarching strategy,

but some things will help you. So at least hopefully will help you. Again, I've been married now for over 20 years. So I'm pumped about that. And hopefully married for another thousand years., so I'm pumped about that. And hopefully married for another 1,000 years. And so I'm trying really carefully because, and I'll step back. In the new book I'm writing

that hopefully someday will be published, who knows. But in that book, one of the things I talk a lot about is values. And it's funny because I'm not a big believer, not that I'm not a big believer, we just have, inside ClickFunnels, I've never had, when people are like, what are your core values? It's like, here's six words.

These are my values. I think values that people traditionally do are shallow. But as I started looking more at values, what do I actually value? Not like courage, determination, hard work, the stuff, but like the things I actually value. Like, in fact, at two CCX, uh, an inner circle we went to, we took them all to Mexico last year and, um, we did this really cool exercise where we had everybody write down all the on little sticky notes, all the things that make them happy. Right. So people wrote all these different things down and, uh, they're ever had these sticky

notes, like a hundred sticky notes. It's like, you know, take these sticky notes and, uh sticky notes and I'm going to group them together based on things. It's like everything related to work or your mission or your family. So everyone grouped them together. And from their 100 things that made them happy, everyone had five or six core things that they valued. I did this exercise with my kids as well. It was really cool. I remember Dallin, one of his core values was expression, how he expresses himself personally, which I didn't know.

It was fascinating. I'm like, oh, I didn't realize that. But you took all the things that made him happy and you grouped them together and one of like, he's like, all these are related to how I express myself, which is interesting. Right. And so you look and start looking at this, you start seeing your values. And so, you know, typically we have five, 10 different core things that we really, really value. Right. And what's interesting is for most of us, the thing that you value the most will become your God. And so if you read the scriptures, that's why there's so much emphasis on love God first. Because whatever you value the most will become your God.

If it's music and that's where you spend your time, that becomes your God. If it's business, that becomes your God. If it's whatever that is. And so I started looking at my values and God is definitely a big thing, but wasn't number one. If not, it's like, I'm making something else. And so like, I'm a big believer in like understanding that and then dumping more time into the thing that you need to value the highest. Right. So, which is for me personally, I'm like, I'm going to try and spend so much more time this year reading the new Testament and diving back into Christ's life. Cause I want to make, I want to make sure like

that's my number one value. But shortly thereafter is my family, right? My wife and my kids are like, are, are the number one, the number two value in this thing. Right. And so with that, it's like, okay, knowing that, like I've got to, like whatever I value, I got to dump time into it or something else is going to, going to surpass it. Right. So like if I value my business the most, but all my time there, and it's going to surpass it eventually. So first is understanding that like, like the thing you value is where you're going to be putting your time. So making sure that if you want a relationship with your spouse, you've got to value it, which means you got to put the energy into it or your kids, right? I look at so many people who get into

business who they get a business, they get free time. So you can spend more time with their family. And then when push comes to shove, they push out their family and spend all the time in business. And it's hard because it's alluring. Like most of us get our needs met in business really easily. Um, I get them easier. My needs are easier met in my business than they are in my relationships with my wife and my kids. I have to work harder on my wife, my kids to get my needs met. Um, and so it's easy to default. So it's understanding those things inside your own mind. Like I can go to the office, create a video, put it out there. I get a hundred people to tell me, Oh, that was a great podcast. It was great. Whatever. So my needs get mad. I'm like, oh, I feel good about myself or home.

I have to go and like my teenagers, I love them, but man, they, they are hard. I have not get instant feedback when I try to help them and try to serve them. In fact, usually it's negative. Usually they're angry at me and they're mad or like, you know, same as a spouse. Like you put in time, your spouse and it doesn't always come back immediately. And so it's hard because like, well, as humans, you know, it's like a river coming down a mountain, like the water will go to the easiest path. And so by default, we'll go to the easiest path. And like, by doing that though, by going to ease traditionally, that's where you lose

the thing you actually want. Like the thing that, that we value the most when we actually sit down and like, think about it, um, is usually not going to be the easiest thing, right? Valuing God's not the easiest thing. Valuing our family, like it's not always the easiest thing, right? Valuing God's not the easiest thing. Valuing our family is not always the easiest thing, right? So it's just being aware of that, number one. Number two then is like really understanding like, there's so much to this, right? Like a lot of you guys know like I'm big into personality profiling, but in fact, we're soon launching a new company, understand.me. If you go there, you can go and sign up for a free account and take all the personality profiles and see what you are and all these different

things. But a big key is like understanding your spouses and your kids, like their actual personality, like what do they need, right? For me to feel loved, I have to have physical touch. Like something like I'm touching, you put an arm around me for me to feel loved. You tell me like, and words of affirmation is my number two. So you tell me I'm great, I feel loved. You touch me, I feel even more loved. But if you like buy me a gift or do acts of service, like it doesn't, it doesn't make sense to me. Right. And my wife's opposite of me. Like, so if I come give her a hug, she's like, I don't get it. Like, why are you doing like, why are you touching me? But man, if I go and spend quality time with her, like she lights up. Right. So I have to understand, like I have to speak to her,

her love language. I can't speak to her in my love language. And she's got to speak in mind. We have to have this communication. My kids, I know my kids right now, like I've had them take the profile. So I know which things make my kids feel love, which things don't. Like some of my kids, like Nora, it's time. I got to spend time with her. Like I just make an hour under the stairs in the dollhouse playing with Barbies or else she doesn't feel loved. Right. I got other kids who are physical touch. I give them a hug and tickle their back for five minutes. They're good to go. And it's fast. Right. But I have to understand those things. I've to understand like what are the positives I got to put into every single person for them to actually

feel love and understanding that and then consciously doing it. Cause it's not, it's not subconsciously typically, right? I got to consciously do it because their love language is not mine. If their love language is the same as mine, consciously, it's really easy. Okay. So that's one of these understanding these, these dynamics, right? Okay. So there's, there's the first thing. Now I'm gonna go back in time. So the things that I learned back in time, like I don't think I and I would still be married if I didn't learn a couple of these different hacks. So hopefully here's a couple that'll help you.

Number one, I would be at work having fun, like all, you know, doing the thing and like getting all my needs met. And she's at home with twins who are great, who are crying, who are pooping, who are doing all this stuff, right? And so I'm like having the best time doing stuff. And I messaged her to have a great, like having so much fun. They're like, oh, I'm gonna be here late today because this stuff, right? And so I'm having the best time doing stuff and I messaged her how great,

like having so much fun. They're like, oh, I'm here late today because I'm working on a project. I'm having so much fun. And I come home late. And it was like, that was like, that was brutal. Like it was hard because she's doing all this work, not happy, not, you know, like struggling these things.

I'm having so much fun and I'm doing. And then like, I'm not coming home and I'm spending too much time away. And that was really hard. and the compromise we eventually came to over who knows months, weeks, years, I could have been, I can't remember. But the thing I realized was like, if, if it was five o'clock at night and I told her I was going to stay till, till, till 10 o'clock working on project meltdown. But if I told her, Hey, um, uh, Thursday, Todd, you know, Thursday, Friday, Todd's flying to Boise.

I'm going to be pulling all-nighters Thursday night and Friday night. Are you cool with that? She'd be like, oh, sure. And then she could mentally prepare for it. She knew it was going to happen, and it was fine. But I couldn't tell her, like, oh, I'm going to be home late tonight because whatever. If I told her that, nightmare. If I told her Thursday and Friday I'm pulling all-nighters, totally fine.

But I had to prepare her for that. That was a big thing for us. I think I realized when I'd go on events and trips, right? I'd be going on these trips and having so much fun meeting people and going out to eat and having those fun things. I call her and I like all excited. And when I did that calling her excited, again, she's at home by herself with the kids. And it just, it created like this divide. And so I started realizing like, um, I'm not going to tell her about all the insanely cool things I'm doing. Not because she doesn't want to know, but especially in the moment when she's struggling.

Like I got to be there for her. Like as much fun as I'm having, like the phone call at night is about like talking to her about her and her frustrations and her struggles. And I'll tell her when I get home about how much fun I had, but not in the moment. In the moment, I'm not having fun. She's at home being in charge of everything. And like, if I'm, if I'm rubbing in my excitement and fun on her when she's in the middle of this pain, like it is not a positive thing. And so I got really good at delaying me telling the stories of the great stuff to a spot where we were both happy and like, Oh, let me tell you what happened last week. It was

so cool. And this and this, and we can enjoy it together versus like, Colette, I know you're with the kids right now. I know I can hear her crying in the background. Let me tell you the cool thing I just did, what I just experienced, right? It was like understanding when to talk about things and timing those things had a big difference on us. So those are some little things as we were growing, as we were going through it. Nowadays, I think the bigger things are just understanding, again, like her priorities. Like what is she looking for? Like my wife's got very specific things she wants to do, so I got to make sure that she's able to do those things, right?

And then by doing that, she lets me do the things I want. Right. Like it's not like it's like you can do this. I'm going to do this. It's not that way. It's like me understanding like what are the things most important to her and then I'm going to move heaven and earth and make sure she can go do those things. Right. Um, and then by doing that, she's more cool. And I'm like, Hey, I want to go and I'm going to fly across the country, go look at small books. She's like, what? Why would you want to do that? Like, I don't know, but that's, that's what brings me happiness. Like, cool, go do that thing. And then when she's like, I want to go and I'm going to fly across the country to go look at a small book. She's like, what? Why would you want to do that? I'm like, I don't know. But that's what brings me happiness. She's like, cool. Go do that thing.

And then when she's like, I want to go do this thing over here. I'm like, cool. And like being okay with it. And like just – does that make sense? Like it's not a compromise. That's not what I'm saying because that's not the thing. It's more like understanding like that – like she's got to do things to bring her happiness. And if I might try to pull her back on that,

then she'll resent when I'm trying to get happiness for myself, right? But if I'm like, yeah, go do those things. Let her pursue the things that bring her happiness, then she's cool with me pursuing things that bring me happiness, right? Does that make sense? It's those type of things.

If you have studied Stacey and Paul in relationship development, one of the biggest keys that I've learned, it's been hard. This is like the hardest thing. I think it's drilled in humans. But it's this process they call demand relationship where the way that we try to get what we want

is by demanding it, right? Demanding our kids do this, demanding our friends do this, demanding our spouse does this. And it's interesting if you study Stacey and Paul, they talk about back in the day that was possible, right? Cause like the husband and wife who married and divorced was illegal. So the husband would demand the wife would do these things and she'd do them because

of nowhere to escape. And as soon as the, the power player who's demanding stuff, um, as soon as the, the opposite person has the ability to leave, then demand relationship breaks. It doesn't work anymore. Right. Which when, I don't know, whenever divorces became legal, right. And then the person could leave, it changed the thing, right?

You see the same thing with kids, like where a parent will like demand relationship with kids and force them to do all these kind of things. But as soon as the kid turns 18 and they have the ability to leave, then the person goes nuts, right? And it's like, and it's hard because in our head, like we just want to force people to do what's like

the thing that we value the most. And we try to force them to do it, thinking that like by forcing them to value the thing that we value, they'll eventually start valuing the thing that we value. But it doesn't try to force them to do it, thinking that by forcing them to value the thing that we value, they'll eventually start valuing the thing that we value, but it doesn't happen that way. Instead, it pushes them away, and then when they have freedom,

when they're able to leave, when they're able to escape, then they hate the thing that you value because you are demanding it to them, right? A good situation I'm seeing now, I want to value God as number one, right? I want my kids to value him as number one as well, and so we try to do these things with our kids,

and when we introduce them to things we value value and we show them why we're excited and we show happiness of why we value this thing, then our kids value it. When we try to force our kids like, you have to do these things, you have to believe these things, we have to do these things, then it pushes them away, right? And they may do it while they're with you, but then they resent you. And as soon as they leave, they fall away from the thing you value. I think this is one of the biggest struggles we have as humans. And this is a tangent.

Who knows? Hopefully you guys are getting some value out of this. But each of us have things we value. The people we love, we want them to value the same things we do. That's why we connect. People have the same values as us, right? It's like, oh, they value the same thing I do. So we connect really easily.

But when someone's values are different than ours, that's where we struggle. Or when you and somebody have the same value in one thing, but in different values, something else. That's why they always say like, you never want to meet your heroes, right? Because typically your heroes, you value them because of one thing, right? Like I'll use Dan Kennedy's example.

Me and Dan Kennedy have like huge value on marketing and persuasion and sales, right? But we have very, very different religious values and beliefs right and so when i meet dan kennedy i'm like oh my gosh it's amazing and i meet him and like oh we value these things differently that's what most people like oh like don't meet your heroes because they're going to disappoint you because like you value the same thing one way but something else you value differently and what i'm learning now is like i can love people for the things that we value the same i don't have to judge them for things we value differently because then you

ruin these amazing relationships right uh anyway I'm going on a tangent, Nicholas. Sorry about this, man. Hopefully you guys are all getting some value from this, but, um, but it's interesting. And I think it's understanding that like we can love somebody for the things that we value in common, but we don't have to hate them because we value other things differently. Right. And I think that's why we have frustration with kids or with spouses where we have, you know, and I think the more things you and your spouse value the same, the easier life is, right? But when you value something that they don't and vice versa, it gets really hard. Or if two of you guys value something for a while, but then eventually those

values, like someone's values shift or they change the things they actually value now isn't the same as it used to be, it causes frustration, right's what's that's what's interesting um just as a side note because this is a marketing uh podcast right like the things that you value that you put into the universe um the people who have similar values will come to you and that's why myron golden says this a lot he says you don't attract who you, you don't attract who you want, you attract who you are. The values you put out there that people see, they're going to be attracted to that. I want these kind of people, but if you're not that kind of person, you're not going to attract those kind of people. It's just interesting.

Anyway, there's some deep tangent stuff that I haven't spoken publicly enough to know how to clearly explain it, but that's a big part. Anyway, that comes back to what we were talking about earlier with demand relationship. I haven't spoken publicly enough to like know how to clearly explain it, but that's a big part. So anyway, so that comes back to what we were talking about earlier with demand relationship, like in any relationship where I'm trying to demand somebody to do my thing, it causes problems, right? So if I'm like, Hey,

I want you to come with me to this trip to bring a little book. She doesn't have any, she doesn't value him. She doesn't care. She may do it cause she loves me, but it's going to be this weird thing where the same thing where she's going to do something that, you know, I want to be able to give her the freedom and the space to pursue the things she values.

So she'll give me freedom and space to pursue the things I value. And I want to give my kids the freedom and space to pursue the things they value as well. And yes, I want them to value the same things I am. So I'm going to use persuasion and influence to tell stories and show the reason why these things I value make me happy. And if they can see that they actually make me happy, they're more likely to value them in the future versus me forcing them to try to make these things. Does that make sense? Like, anyway, ramblings with Russell, hopefully he has got something from this. So anyway, I hope that helps, man. Um, again, I don't have a perfect, but it comes down to these kinds of things, like thinking through these things, like what are, what are their personalities? What are their love languages? What are the things that they need to actually feel happy? Right. And what

are the things they value? And how do I encourage, how do I encourage them to, to pursue the things that they value versus the things that I want them to value? And this is the hardest thing. Cause we want somebody to, cause we like value it so much. We know it's good for them. We want to force it upon them, but if they don't value it, then I can't force it. Like, so instead, how do I help them pursue the things that they value and be excited for them as they're pursuing them and like legitimately excited for them right even though sometimes they may drive you crazy um and then by doing that i feel like the more you you allow other people to do that the more that they're and this isn't perfect some people aren't but like the more that traditionally they'll let you pursue the things that you value

as well which which you know with my wife and some of the greatest things like she knows i'm obsessed with these old books i'm obsessed with marketing and business and so she allows me to pursue these things with all my heart and my mind and she knows i love them and she loves me and so therefore even if she doesn't understand him or doesn't care about him she allows me to pursue them because she's like man look how happy russell gets because these things look how happy these people get on top of it right and then i gotta give her the same dignity and respect though. Otherwise it causes the imbalance and the problems and the issues. So anyway, hope that helps.

I had no idea. We went on a huge tangent. I should re-listen to your question, Nicholas, to make sure we answered it. But anyway, again, these are the things I don't have the actual answer, but these are things I think through a lot that are running in my head and that I'm trying to like figure out for myself and for the people that I love the most, right? The people that, um, that I value, like how do I, how do I help them to pursue the things? And that's what I love about this business for me, right? Like I am enabling people with tools and technology, um, and information to help them to pursue the things

and to promote the things that they value the most. Not necessarily things that I value, but the things that they value. That brings me happiness. Anyway, there you go. Hopefully, you guys got something from this. If you did, please share this podcast with other people. If you didn't, don't tell anybody. You'll skip the next episode.

Anyway, I had fun answering some questions today. Again, if you guys have questions you want me to answer live on the show, go to marketingsecrets.com. There's a block there where you can submit audio questions, and I've been going through and answering them. All the ones that ask real legitimate questions, half of your questions you guys are submitting are weird, like customer support issues. This is not a customer support hotline. We've got support on the footer of any email or website. There's a link to our support. Click on it.

My support team, we've got 200-plus people who man support. They can answer support questions. I'm here to answer your strategy questions. So if you've got one for me, go to marketingsecrets.com, submit it, and hopefully it'll end up

on a future episode here of the Marketing Secrets Show. Thanks so much for listening and we'll see you guys all soon. Bye everybody.