Marketing Secrets with Russell Brunson - The Downside Of Being An Achiever

Episode Date: January 17, 2022

Most achievers I know struggle with truly feeling fulfillment. Some of my thoughts after a long weekend. Hit me up on IG! @russellbrunson Text Me! 208-231-3797 Join my newsletter at marketingsecrets.com ClubHouseWithRussell.com Magnetic Marketing ---Transcript--- Hey, good morning everybody. This is Russell Brunson, and I want to welcome you back to the Marketing Seekers Podcast. I just dropped my kids off at school and I'm slowly exiting the parking lot with a million kids driving, hoping for my life. But I wanted to talk about something that's been on my mind for a little while, which is some of the downsides of being a hyper achiever. All right everyone, I'm still in the kids' parking lot, trying to get out, but I wanted to talk to you guys today about something that I was thinking about a lot this weekend, and it's interesting. I don't know if you'll learn anything from this, but I think for people who are like me, hopefully you'll feel less alone. And then people who aren't like me, this is me sitting on a couch and you get to be my therapist. So that's kind of the game plan. I hope that's all right. But what I want to talk about is some of the downsides of being an achiever, especially a hyper achiever. It's been interesting in my life and I wouldn't say all my life. When I was younger, I didn't have much direction or motivation or things I was trying to do. I used to come home from school and we'd watch cartoons and we'd eat Cheerios or Rice Krispies until dinner, and then we'd eat dinner and do homework, and that was kind of end of it. And I tried to play basketball. I tried to do some things, but I wasn't that good at anything. It wasn't until I started wrestling that I had my first identity shift, my first thing where I did something, I was like, oh my gosh, this is who I am. This is who I want to become and that was the day I became an achiever. I don't want to be good, I want to be the best. In fact, I remember there's an old wrestling movie we used to always watch and it had Tom and Terry brands on it, who, you know who they are they're twin brothers, the wrestled for Iowa, both world champs. One of them was an Olympic champ. And the video started with Tom Brands saying, "My name is Tom Brands and my goal is simple. I want to be the greatest wrestler in the whole world." And the next scene was Terry Brands. He said, "My name's Terry Brands and my goal is simple. I want to be the greatest wrestler in the whole world." And I remember I used to watch that and think in my head, my name's Russell Brunson and my goal is simple. I want to be the greatest wrestler in the whole world. And that was my goal and obviously I never met that goal. I never became the greatest wrestler at all time, but I set a high goal and I started working towards it and I killed myself to reach that goal. And I became an achiever so much so where I would do anything. I would cut 30 pounds a week. I was telling my high school kids I literally would come in on Monday at 160 pounds my sophomore year and then Thursday, I weighed at 130. And so yeah, I was losing 30 pounds a week every single week. I was doing just crazy things. I was working out. I was just wrestling, lifting weights, traveling around the country. Everything I could to reach that goal. And it's interesting. It's like there's something powerful about being a high achiever. You have this drive and you push and you get to accomplish and achieve things. But one of the downsides, probably the biggest downside is it's hard to be content and that's something I've struggled with my whole life. In fact, I see people who are very content and it's something that I am jealous of. Man, I wish I could just be content. I wish I could just sit there. I wish I could just relax. And the reason I started thinking about this, this weekend is because I start thinking about when in my life have I really felt content? And as hard as I can think, I only remember two times and the first time was in wrestling. And I apologize. I have kind of a cold right now. So if I'm sniffling, that's why. Or if my voice sounds funny. So the first time that I think I ever felt content was after my junior year and I had set the goal, I wanted to be a state champ. And I had worked towards it, worked towards it, worked towards it and I remember my junior year, I won the state title. And I remember winning it and then in the car driving home, I remember this is 17 year old Russell at the time and I'm driving home and I'm looking around, I'm looking at all the mountains and the scenery outside. And I was like, this is all? And I lived in Utah as a Utah state champ was looking around. I was like this is all of Utah and I'm a state champ. I'm the best in Utah right now. I'm the best in this entire state and I remember feeling so content that I was driving home and just like, ugh, I did it. I achieved that thing. And the rest of my wrestling career, I was always chasing after goals and dreams. I wanted to be an all American. I did get that. I became an all American, but I wanted to be a national champ and I took second. And then in college I wanted to win this tournament, that tournament. I did well, but I was never a national champ. I was never a PAC-10 champ. I never got to experience the big win again. I won tournaments and things like that, but winning my state title was the big thing and I felt so content afterwards. And so, but yeah, the rest of my wrestling career, I kept racing, chasing, chasing, chasing, and then eventually I lost and my career ended and that was the end of it. I never achieved that thing. And then for me, I was like, ah, as an achiever, I have to achieve something, and at the time I kind of started my business. And so I shift my focus to business and then I spent the next decade and a half running a business, running a business. And the weirdest thing I remember about business was there was never a time where you got your hand raised. It never ended, just like this continual cycle. IN wrestling, there would be tons of work and effort towards a goal and then you either win or you lose but it was finite. Where business is this revolving circle, which is good on some ends, because the game you can play for a long, long time. But it was also bad because I never got my hand raised. It never ended. I never felt like I achieved something. In fact, I remember one time, somebody to me, "When did you feel like you made it?" And I was like, "I don't know. I'll let you know if I ever do." I've never felt that way. There's always this constant pressure grind. And I've enjoyed it as an achiever. It's taken me to a lot of places. I've met a lot of cool people, done a lot of cool things, accomplished a lot of cool stuff but it was never a point where I was like, ah. Even when I go on mastermind trips or retreats or things like that, there's always this anxiety or stress. At Funnel Hacking Live, I always think at the end of it, I'm going to feel like ah, this complacency or that feeling, but I never felt it because as soon it was done, it's like, ah, we sold people in our coaching program. Now I've got to worry about that. And it's just always this cause of stress. Except for one time and the one time was after the 10 X event and some of you guys know this story. I set a goal before we went. I was like, I want to do 3 dollars million dollars in sales because that means I'll net a million. And that event was the perfect storm where we said the whole thing, the presentation just killed it and we ended up doing $3.2 million dollars in sales. And there was this moment after the pitch was done, and I stood in line for six hours taking pictures of everyone. And Collette and I went back to our room and we were so tired and I remember laying in bed and we took this picture of us just laying in bed, smiling together. And then we passed out for four hours. And that was the second time in my life I can remember being content where I was just like, ah, we did it. I set a big goal, achieved it and then it was done. And then I remember that night after we woke up, we went back into the room where everyone was processing the money and counting all the order forms and it just felt complete. It was final. I set the goal, I achieved it and I got a break. I had a chance to rest. And those are the two times in my life. Isn't that funny? Two times in life where I felt like I could rest where I was just like, oh, like I did it. And the rest of my life has been running and sprinting. And I don't know about you, but for me it's always like, when my book's done, then I'll have a chance to rest or when the event's done, or when the thing or whatever. But each of those as I finish one, it starts the next thing. We finish the book and then we start the book promotion. Then we finish the promotion and then we got to start the backend sales and the backend sales to the event and then the event to the next thing and it just keeps going and going. And I never felt that feeling of it being done, of just ah, it's finished. And yeah, like I said, only two times in my life I can remember feeling that feeling. So being an achiever, like I said, it's amazing because it gives you a chance to run and to achieve things and experience things and it makes your life very fulfilling. I feel like my life is very colorful. I feel good at painting this beautiful, amazing thing. And I love it. But the thing that I miss is the downtime, the quietness, that feeling of ah, you did it. I feel like that's probably what I've been chasing for so long. Some of you guys know I started my next book probably over a year ago now dang. And the subtitle to the book was going to be The Art of Achievement. Or excuse me, The Science of Achievement, the Art of Fulfillment because that's what I wanted the book to be about. And it was interesting because the parts where I was writing about achievement was really easy for me to write, the Science of Achievement. Here's how we do it. That part was really easy. And then every time we got to the Art of Fulfillment, that part was really, really difficult for me. I struggled writing those things so much so that I ended up stopping writing that book. And I was like, you know what? I don't know how to be fulfilled. I haven't felt that. I don't feel content. I don't feel fulfilled all the time. I'm still trying to figure this out. So I've actually changed the whole book where the book now, I change the title as well. The new book is going to be called Secrets of Success and it's going to be about achievement, about success. How do you get these things? Because that's what I've mastered, but I understand that I'm good at. But the fulfilling part, I don't know yet. I understand pieces of it. I understand the psychology, I understand things, but I haven't been able to really feel that often in my life. And so I'm saving that book or that part of the book for a later year in my life where I have a chance to figure those things out. So anyway, this weekend for me was interesting because I sat down and I had this chance to start thinking through how do I feel fulfilled? How do I feel content? What is that thing? And that's when the whole thought came. In my life when have I felt content? And the only times I could think about was I won the state title and when I did the 3.2 million in sales at the 10 X event. The two times I felt I like I could rest and I feel like I'm chasing something, looking for that next time to rest. And so I think for me and I'll report back on this because I'm going to try to set goals that have a celebration time. When you achieve this thing, you did this, this, and now you get to rest. Take a day off or do whatever. I don't take any days off and when I do, I'm usually stressing out because the next thing's in the way or things are happening, you know what I mean? So anyway, that's the pros of the cons of being an achiever. I'm sure some of you guys relate to that. Some of you guys think I'm crazy. Either way is totally cool. But for me that's what I'm looking for is how do I get more of those things in my life? And for any of you guys who have been on this hamster wheel like me and you're running and you're achieving and you're doing the things, I want to give yourself permission to try to do what I'm trying to do, which is okay, how do I get fulfillment? How do I get my hand raised? How do I succeed? And then rest in that moment so I can feel it and I can enjoy it and recharge off it before I go to the next accomplishment. Before I climb the next mountain, before I try to conquer the next demon. So anyway, that's what's on my mind this weekend. Hopefully this helps somebody. Like I said, just not really how to as much as most of my podcast episodes, but hopefully just... Yeah, again, therapy for me to talk it out. So thanks you guys. I appreciate you all for listening and hopefully you have a great day. Talk soon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Metrolinx and Crosslinx are reminding everyone to be careful as Eglinton Crosstown LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert as trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals. Be careful along our tracks and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. Hey, good morning, everybody. This is Russell Brunson, and I want to welcome you back to the Marketing Secrets Podcast. I just dropped my kids off at school, and I'm slowly exiting the parking lot with a million kids driving, hoping for my life. But I wanted to talk about something that's been on my mind for a little while, which is some of the downsides of being a hyper-achiever.

So the big question is this. How are entrepreneurs like us, who didn't cheat and take on venture capital, who are spending money from our own pockets, how do we market in a way that lets us get our products and our services and the things that we believe in out to the world, and yet still remain profitable? That is the question, and this podcast will give you the answers. My name is Russell Brunson, and welcome to Marketing Secrets. All right, everyone. I'm still in the kid's parking lot trying to get out. But I wanted to talk to you guys today about something

that, uh, I was thinking about a lot this weekend and it's interesting. I don't know if you'll learn anything from this, but I think for people who are like me, hopefully you'll feel less alone. And then people who aren't like me, this is like me sitting on a couch and you're going to be my therapist. So that's kind of the game plan. I hope that's all right. Um, but what I want to talk about is, um, some of the downsides of being a, um, an achiever, especially like a hyper achiever. Um, you know, it's been interesting in my life. Um, and I would say all my life when I was younger, I didn't have much direction or motivation or, or things I was trying to do. Um, I used to come home from school and we'd watch cartoons and we'd eat Cheerios or Rice Krispies until dinner. And then we'd eat dinner and do homework. And that's

kind of end of it. And, um, you know, I tried to play basketball. I tried to do some things, but I didn't have, I wasn't that good at anything. It wasn't until I started wrestling, um, that I had like my first identity shift. my first thing where I did something, and I was like, oh my gosh, this is who I am, this is who I wanna become. And that was the day I became an achiever. Like, I want to, I don't wanna be good, I wanna be the best.

In fact, I remember there was an old wrestling movie we used to always watch, and it had Tom and Terry Brands on it, who, if you know who they are, they're twin brothers, the wrestler for Iowa. Both world champs, one of them was an Olympic champ. And the video started with Tom Brands on it, who, you know who they are, they're twin brothers, the rest of Iowa, uh, both world champs. One of them was an Olympic champ. And the video started with, uh, Tom Brands saying, my, my name is Tom Brands and my goal is simple. I want to be the greatest wrestler in the whole

world. And the next, uh, scene was Terry Brands. He said, my name is Terry Brands and my goal is simple. I want to be the greatest wrestler in the whole world. I remember I used to watch that, think in my head, like my name is Russell Brunson and my goal is simple. I want to be the greatest wrestler in the whole world. And that was my goal. And, um, obviously I never met that goal. I never became the greatest wrestler of all time, but, um, I set a high goal and I started working towards it and I killed myself, uh, to reach that goal. And I became an achiever so much so where I was, I would do anything, right?

I would, I would cut 30 pounds a week. I was telling my high school kids, I literally would come in on Monday at 160 pounds my sophomore year. And then, uh, Thursday I have to wait at one 30. Um, and so yeah, I was losing 30 pounds a week. Every single week I was doing like just crazy things. Um, I was working out. I was, you know, just wrestling, lifting weights, like traveling around the country, like everything I could to reach that goal. Right. Um, and it's interesting. It's like there, there's something powerful about being a high achiever. Like you have this drive and you push and you get to accomplish and achieve things. Uh, one of the downsides, probably the biggest downside is it's hard to be content. Um,

and that's something I've struggled with my whole life. In fact, I see people who are very content and it's something that I'm jealous of. Like, man, I wish I could just be content. I wish I could just sit there. I wish I could just relax. And the reason why I started thinking about this this weekend is because I started thinking about like, what in my life have I, like, have I really felt content? And as hard as I could think, I only remember two times.

And the first time was in wrestling. It was, and I apologize, I only remember two times. And the first time was in wrestling. It was, and I apologize, I have kind of a cold right now. So if I'm sniffling, that's why, or my voice sounds funny. So the first time that I think I ever felt content was after my junior year. And I had set the goal, I wanted to be a state champ. And I had worked towards it, worked towards it, worked towards it. And I remember my junior year, I won the state title. I remember winning it. And then in the car driving home, I remember, this is, you know, 17 year old Russell at the time. And I'm driving

home and I'm looking around, I'm looking at all the mountains and the, the scenery outside. And I was like, this is all, and I live in Utah. I was a Utah state champ. I was looking around. I was like, like, this is all of Utah. And I'm the state champ. I'm the best in Utah right now. I'm the best in this entire state. And I remember feeling so content. I was driving home and just like, I did it. I achieved that thing. And the rest of my wrestling career, I was always chasing after goals and dreams.

I wanted to be an All-American. I did get that. I became an All-American, but I wanted to be a national champ, and I took second. And then in college, I wanted to win this tournament, that tournament. And I never like, like I did well, but I never like, I've never done a national champ. I was never a pack 10 champ. I never got to experience that. Like the big, the big win again. Right. Like I wouldn't turn them into things like that, but it wasn't like winning my state title was, was the big thing. Right. and i felt so content afterwards um

and so but yeah the rest of my wrestling career i kept racing chasing chasing chasing and then eventually you know i lost and i my career ended and that was the end of it i never achieved that thing and then for me i was like ah like as an achiever i achieved something and at the time i kind of started my business and so i shift my focus to business and then i spent the next you know decade and a half running a business, running a business. The weirdest thing I remember about business was there was never a time where you got your hand raised. You never ended, just this continual cycle. In wrestling, there'd be tons of work and effort towards a goal, and then you either win or you lose,

but it was finite, where business is like this revolving circle, um, which is good on some ends because the game you can play for a long, long time. Um, but it was also bad cause like I never, I never got my hand raised. I never ended. I never, I never felt like I achieved something. In fact, I remember one time somebody asked me like, like, when did you feel like you made it? And I was like, I don't know. I'll let you know if I ever do. Like I've, I've never felt that way. There's always this constant pressure and grind and like, um, and I've enjoyed it as an achiever. It's taken me to a lot of places. I've met a lot of cool people, done a lot of cool things, accomplished a lot of cool stuff, you know, but it was never like a point where I was like, ah, like even when I go on mastermind trips,

retreats or things like that, like there's always this anxiety or stress, you know, funnel hacking live. Like I always think that at the end of it, I'm going to feel like, ah, this, this, you know, this complacency or this, you know, that feeling, but I never felt it because as soon as it's done, it's like, ah, we sold people into our coaching program, I ain't going to worry about that. And like, it's just always this, this constant stress, except for one time. And the one time was after the TEDx event. And some of you guys know the story.

I set a goal before we went. I was like, I want to do $3 million in sales. Cause that means on that a million. And that event was like the perfect storm where we said the whole thing, the presentation just killed it. And I went and did $3.2 million in sales. And there was this moment after the pitch was done and I stood in line for like six hours taking pictures as everyone. And Clint and I went back to our room and we were so tired. And we were laying in bed and we took this picture of us just like laying in bed, smiling together. And we passed out for like four hours. And that was the second time in my life I can remember being content where I was just like, oh, we did

it. Set a big goal, achieved it. And then it was done. And then I remember that night we went, after we woke up, we went back into the room where everyone was processing the money and doing the, you know, counting all the order forms. And, um, it just felt complete. It was like, finally I could die, set the goal. I achieved it and I got a break.. And it just felt complete. It was like, finally, I set the goal, I achieved it, and I got a break. I had a chance to rest. And those are the two times in my life. Is that funny?

Two times in my life where I felt like I could rest where I was just like, oh, I did it. And the rest of my life has been running and sprinting. And I think, I don't know about you, but for me, it's always like, well, when my book's done, then I'll have a chance to rest or when the, uh, the event's done or when the thing or whatever. But each of those, as I finished one, it starts the next thing, right? Like we finished the book and then we can start the book promotion. Then we finished the promotion

and then we got to start the, the back end sales and the back end sales to the event and then the event to the next thing. And it just keeps going and going. And like, I never felt that, like that feeling of it being done. I'm just like, Oh, it's finished. And, um, yeah, I guess it's only two times in my life that I can, I can, I can remember feeling that, that feeling. Um, and so being an achiever, like I said, it's, it's amazing because it gives you a chance to run and to, to achieve things and experience things. And it makes your life very fulfilling. I feel like my, my life is very colorful. Like if you're going to paint, it's this beautiful, amazing thing. And I love it. Um, but the thing that I, that I miss is like that, the downtime, the quietness, the, that feeling of like, Oh, you did it. I feel like that's probably

what I've been chasing for so long. Um, so he has no, like I started, um, my next book at almost a year, probably over a year ago now, dang. And, um, the subtitle book was going to be the, the, um, the art of achievement or excuse me, the science of achievement, the art of fulfillment, because that's what I wanted the book to be about. And it was interesting because the parts where I was writing about achievement was really easy to be right. The science of achievement, here's how we do it. Here's how we, you know, like that part was really easy. And then every time we got to the art of fulfillment, that part was really, really difficult for me. I struggled writing those things so much so that I ended up stopping writing the book. And I was like, you know what? This isn't, I don't know how to be fulfilled. I haven't felt that. I don't feel content. I don't feel

fulfilled all the time. I'm still trying to figure this out. So I'll actually change the whole book where the book now, I changed the title as well. The new book is going to be called The Secrets of Success. And it's going to be about achievement, about success, how do you get these things? Because that's what I've mastered that I understand that I'm good at. But the fulfillment part, I don't know yet. I understand pieces of it. I understand the psychology. I understand things, but I haven't been able to really feel that often in my life.

And so I'm saving that book or that part of the book for a later year in my life where I have a chance to figure those things out. So anyway, this weekend for me was interesting. I sat down, I had this chance to start thinking through like, how do I feel fulfilled? How do I feel content? Like, what is that thing? And that's when the whole thought came to like, when in my life, when have I felt content? And the only times I could think about was when I won the state title and when I did the $3.2 million in sales at the 10X event, the two times I felt like I could rest. And I feel like I'm chasing something, looking for that next time to rest. And so I think for me, and I'll report back on this, is I'm going to try to set goals

that have a celebration time, right? Like when you achieve this thing, you did this, this, and now'm going to try to set goals that have a, have a celebration time, right? Like when you achieve this thing, you did this, this, and now you get to rest, like take a day off or do whatever. Like I don't take any days off. Like, um, when I do, I'm usually stressing out because the next thing's in the way or things are happening. You know what I mean? Um, so anyway, that's the pros and the cons of being an achiever, right?

Um, I'm sure some of you guys relate to that. Some of you guys think I'm crazy. Either way, it's totally cool. But for me, that's what I'm looking for is like how do I get more of those things in my life? And for any of you guys who have been on this hamster wheel like me and you're running and you're achieving and you're doing the things, I want to give yourself permission to try to do what I'm trying to do, which is, okay, how do I get fulfillment? How do I get my hand raised? How do I succeed and then rest in that moment

so I can feel it and I can enjoy it and recharge off it before I go to the next accomplishment, before I climb the next mountain, before I try to conquer the next demon? So anyway, that's what's on my mind this weekend. Hopefully this helps somebody. Like I said, it's not really how to as much as most of my podcast episodes,

but hopefully, just, yeah, again, therapy for me to talk it out. Thanks, you guys. I appreciate you all for listening. Hopefully, you have a great day. Talk soon. Thank you for listening to the Marketing Secrets Podcast. If you've loved this episode, then please take a screenshot on your phone and post it to Facebook, Instagram,

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