Matthew Cox | Inside True Crime Podcast - 14 and Addicted to Crime: Insane Stories of a Career Criminal

Episode Date: December 26, 2024

Patrick Mckeen shares his life story and what lead him down a life of crime. Patricks Book https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C1JCSRWX?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_dp_NK83MQ5NH7QTHB3RW4VV Follow me on all socials! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/insidetruecrime/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mattcoxtruecrime Do you want to be a guest? Send me an email here: [e-mail] Do you want a custom "con man" painting to shown up at your doorstep every month? Subscribe to my Patreon: https: //www.patreon.com/insidetruecrime Do you want a custom painting done by me? Check out my Etsy Store: https://www.etsy.com/shop/coxpopart Listen to my True Crime Podcasts anywhere: https://anchor.fm/mattcox Check out my true crime books! Shark in the Housing Pool: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0851KBYCF Bent: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV4GC7TM It's Insanity: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08KFYXKK8 Devil Exposed: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08TH1WT5G Devil Exposed (The Abridgment): https://www.amazon.com/dp/1070682438 The Program: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0858W4G3K Bailout: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/bailout-matthew-cox/1142275402 Dude, Where's My Hand-Grenade?: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BXNFHBDF/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1678623676&sr=1-1 Checkout my disturbingly twisted satiric novel! Stranger Danger: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BSWQP3WX If you would like to support me directly, I accept donations here: Paypal: https://www.paypal.me/MattCox69 Cashapp: $coxcon69

You know, by the time I was six, my father went to prison for kidnapping and sexual assault on a prostitute. My mom met him when he was out on bail for capital murder in 1980. She went to the cops and said, I robbed her. I told the cops, yeah, I took the money out of her pocket, but that's because she owed me $200 and wasn't trying to give it to me. Turns out that's confession for robbery. They let probably me and 20 of my friends out of prison that summer. And by the end of that summer, every single on us was back in jail with a new charge. or wanted by someone i'm leaving the bank with the money and i'm walking down the sidewalk

past the other stores and i get in the getaway car and now we drive away we got to get to 93 south we got to get going south and going to massachusetts they can't cross state lines i know this because i had just watched the movie public enemies which became my favorite movie of all time with Johnny Depp where they had they couldn't cross state lines back then about this big right and um I tucked it in between my butt cheeks he's soaking wet and he just has this look of devastation on his face and I go hey pick and he goes looking at me as like I go hey man I don't know about you but I had fun today. This is Matt Cox, and I'm going to be talking to Patrick McKean, and we are going to, he actually just got out of prison a couple years ago.

He's a career criminal, been in and out of prison, did most of his time in the, in federal and state penitentiaries, and so it's going to be an interesting interview, so check this out. So tell me, tell me, so where were you raised? I was raised in Vermont. I was born in Burlington, Vermont, January 1st, 1986. I wasn't the first baby born that year. I was the third, actually, and it was C-section, so I don't know if it really counted. My mom had like 50 hours of labor, you know, but growing up in that era in the middle of nowhere in Vermont, it was work hard, party hard, and that's exactly what my parents did. You know, by the time I was six, my father went to prison for kidnapping and sexual assault on a prostitute.

the crazy thing is that and you know it wouldn't really surprise you to kind of see a charge like that coming with the man when my mom met him when he was out on bail for capital murder in 1980 so he winds up going to prison he had a good role model and this is the crazy thing is like I moved up here to take care of him and he lived for nine months after I moved up here when I got out of prison and he told me as he was dying that he committed the murder he got away with and was not guilty of the kidnapping and the sexual assault.

And, you know, he always said that it was his way of getting found guilty. He always found it, uh, karmic that he gets found guilty for the crime that he didn't do and gets away with the crime he did do. You know, but after he went away, it like ruined my mom's whole American dream thing. She was already a hard drinker, so she just went, she doubled down and just put all her effort into work. And then when she wasn't in work, put it into drinking. So by the age of six and my little brother's four, we're already raising ourselves. We moved to New Hampshire, Laconia, New Hampshire in 95.

So I was nine. My little brother had just turned seven. And from the moment we moved to New Hampshire, we never had a babysitter. we would go to school at we would go to school go home be home alone running around the streets doing whatever we wanted till mom got home five six o'clock at night by the time we were like 11 12 she's at the elks club every single night till eight nine 10 o'clock at night on a school night just comes home verbally abusive to the kids to the kids to me and my brother and um you know it was a real bad environment so i just being in

an impulsive kid, I always did whatever I wanted. I had to teach myself how to do everything, had to teach myself how to do the dishes, how to clean, how to cook, everything that a parent would normally be doing. I had to do for myself and my little brother. What did she do? What for a living? I mean, she's been a professional human resources recruiter her entire life. Not her entire life, my entire life, but she started long before I was born and she's continued doing it. So she finally met her boyfriend in 98, which just increased the drinking even more. So I'm 12. My little brother's 10.

They're at the Elks every night. They're out at friends' houses just getting drunk every single night. That's what they do. So I'm finally dabbling in drugs. The first time I smoked weed was just digging around my mom's room, and I found it, and I smelled it. And this is what's funny about, you know, I graduated there. You're supposed to say no to drugs, all that. but the first time I smelled it, the first thing I wanted to do was just smoke so.

So that's how I got started with drugs, literally. I got myself started in drugs. As I started getting older and acting up more at home, my mother was convinced that it was my friends getting me into doing the wrong things and making the wrong choices when it was really my impulsive nature. I want instant gratification. Whatever I want to do, I should be able to do anything, any authority figure. whether it's a cop, a teacher, a parent, a grandparent,

any thing an authority figure wants to tell me to do, I'm not trying to hear it, trying to do my own thing. Well, you don't think her drinking? Oh, her negligence played a huge thing, a huge aspect of the way I turned out, because, you know, if you're not home to discipline your child and when you are home, you're drunk and your behavior is not conducive.

to teaching a child anything like right what what what can a drunk parent tell a child to do that the child is going to think oh that's a great idea let me listen to the drunk person in the room right yeah I mean you know things could have turned out either they could have turned out the same way regardless but you know I can't help to think that that probably definitely you know contributed at the very least it contributed oh absolutely it definitely played a big part the fact that my father wasn't around played a big part you know but you know she didn't she went out of her way to help me get in the system the first time i was ever arrested it was for threatening to kill the school security officer because he was trying to stop me from leaving

the cafeteria but when i'm sitting at the police station my mother goes oh he pulled a knife on his little brother yesterday i want him charged for that too um i never pulled a knife on my little brother she walked into the room and i was showing my brother a knife i had found in the drawer and she came in, took it away for me, never said anything else about it until we're at the police station the next day. And all of a sudden, now I've pulled a knife in a threatening manner on my little brother. So now I have another charge on top of the first criminal threatening.

And she's doing it because she doesn't want me in the house. Right. She made the house. What's that? How old were you? This was 2000. So I was 14 at this point. So,

she made the house such a toxic environment that I picked up a bunch of stupid little misdemeanors like petty thefts and stuff, the type of things that a 14 year old kid will get arrested for, nothing serious, nothing violent. So I wind up going to court for it and I plead guilty to three misdemeanors, two resisting arrests and a criminal trespass. And when I plead guilty to these things. I plead guilty to go to a juvenile placement. That's how much I don't want to be in this house anymore. I choose to go to the most secure residential placement for juveniles in the state of New Hampshire next to the Youth Development Center, which is juvie. I go there for eight months. I get out. I'm out for a couple months and me and my mom are still not getting along.

Nothing's changed at home. I'm back to skipping school. doing whatever I want because I was always smart in school but I never felt the need to prove that I knew the material to the teachers so I never did homework I would show up and take tests and other than that I'm just causing havoc in the courtroom right so not the courtroom the classroom I'm sorry that's how long it's been since I've been in a classroom that the most recent special room I've been in has been a courtroom so I wind up going to juvie because I wasn't listening to my mother and I was skipping school. That was a violation of my probation.

They sent me to Juvie until I'm 17 years old. In the state of New Hampshire, the age of minority is 17. If you do something wrong at 17, they're charging you as an adult. So I go to Juvie, spend 10 months there, get out. And this juvenile justice, the Juvie system they have in New Hampshire is so corrupt. All they did was beat the hell out of us kids. All of us got the shit beat out of us. Some of the kids there have been sexually abused, physically, emotionally abused,

and it happened for decades and decades. At the moment, over 1,000 people are currently suing the state of New Hampshire for covering up all the abuse that happened to kids in the juvenile justice system from the inception of YDC as an institution. Yeah, in Florida, there's that school in Florida where they found, you know, like 50 or 100. kids that they were killing them and burying them. Oh, wow. Yeah.

And this was 50, 50, 60 years ago, but they're still digging up the bodies. Wow. Yeah. It was saying, you know, it's this sexual abuse, and then, of course, the kids, when the parents, which, if the parents did show up and say, hey, my son was supposed to be here for three years, he's gone. They'd say, hey, ran away. Bad kid. He got away. Oh, wow.

You know, then they buried, then they dig him up, you know, 20. years later. Yeah, they weren't killing kids, but they have it, it's just systematic abuse of children, basically. And now this is my first interaction with people that are actually having criminal mindset. There's kids in there that were selling crack, doing stuff with guns, sex crimes, stuff like that. All of a sudden, I'm surrounded by people that have a criminal mindset. At this point, I was a delinquent. I didn't have a criminal mindset. I wasn't like, oh, I'm going to go do this to make money illegally or that to make money. I wasn't on that at all.

So I do my YDC time. I actually escaped twice. Don't get far either time. One time I just barely made it over the property line. But they finally tell me they go, you got a couple months left. If you try to escape again, we're going to send you to jail when you get out. When you turn 17, you're going to go to jail. We're charging you as an adult.

So I immediately stopped trying to escape. I get out a few months after that. And back at home, me and my mom aren't getting along. I'm skipping school. I literally only have like a credit and a half to graduate. I'm not trying to finish school or anything. I'm just trying to do what I want. And she kicks me out of the house.

Now I'm kicked out of the house. I have no ID, no job. And now I'm running around committing crimes so I can feed myself, so I can have some money in my pocket. And my first check, My first charge was actually for forgery. A buddy of mine who was letting me stay with him was getting evicted. He was working at a job site, stole some checks from the owner.

And me not being, having a criminal mindset, thinks to myself, well, if he writes the check to me and I sign it and bring it to the bank and they give me cash for it, I'm not committing forgery because I didn't actually write that stuff on the check. so I go cash two of these checks one was for like 380 which I kept $60 of and gave the rest of my buddy so he could put towards rent and then once that one worked we did we went big on the next one with $1,500 and I gave him like nine he got caught up on rent and everything and a couple weeks after that the cops are looking for me they want to talk to me about it and now I'm getting investigated to for other stupid things. There was like an attempted burglary. And then it all culminates at the end of the summer when I physically reach my hand in a woman's pocket and take $200. She went to the cops and said,

I robbed her. I told the cops, yeah, I took the money out of her pocket, but that's because she owed me $200 and wasn't trying to give it to me. Turns out that's confession for robbery. Right. The moment you volunteer that you physically took money

from somebody that was trying to stop, you it doesn't matter if they owe you money or not um you committed a robbery why did she owe you the money you know i can't even remember anymore you know probably something i i think i had given her a tv from a burglary or something like that i can't remember for the life of me there's been so much crap i've done over the years a bad situation all the way around yeah so i wind up getting 18 months in jail i get out i'm 19 years old and the problem was is the last last six months in jail, I could have been out in a year. I did 17 and a half months. I got out two weeks early just because they were tired of dealing with me. I was just in there raising hell

being oppositional and doing whatever the hell I wanted. So I wanted to. This isn't a juvenile jail. No, this is an adult prison, right? Or is it jail? This is a county jail. This is Belknap County jail. Okay. So my last like six months there, I was there with several people who came to later on become very good friends of mine. They had already all been to prison. They're all in their early 20s. It was Peter O'Neill, James McNeil, Jimmy Flanders were the main ones that had all been in prison already. So I'm learning everything I need to know about prison, especially New Hampshire State Prison, because they've all been there. And that's the next natural progression is to go to state prison. So I get out on probation, and I have no intention on doing anything right,

but I'm not really doing anything wrong either. Colgate Total is more than just your favorite toothpaste. It's dedicated to advancing oral health. The new Colgate Total Active Prevention System features a reformulated toothpaste, innovative toothbrush, and a refreshing antibacterial mouthwash, all designed to work together to fight the root cause of common oral health issues, such as gingivitis, plaque, and tartar. Use the full routine twice daily and be dentist ready. Shop the Colgate Total Active Prevention System now at walmart.com. How old are you now?

19. Okay. Now I'm 19. I've already gone. I've already done juvenile placement, juvie, and jailed, and 18 months in jail, and I'm only 19. And you've already made the decision that this is going to be my career and periodically I'm going to go to prison. Right. That's my mindset at this point.

It's like, this is going to be my career. I'm literally out for 90 days, and I get arrested on Memorial Day weekend for stealing a pack of Little Debbie donuts from a convenience store and possession of a controlled substance. And they wrote it up as potheads steals donuts from convenience store, one of those little, like, one of those little funny newspaper articles, right? But the reality was is there was a, the cops were at this gas station, and they were doing a, fundraiser for the Special Olympics and they're cooking burgers and pumping gas and stuff like that and it's obvious that they're cops to me it's obvious that they're off duty i'm not about to do anything stupid in front of the cops i go into the store i buy a soda i leave the store well somebody was in the store that i knew that had a grudge against me from one of the many things i've done

wrong in my life up to this point he goes out tells the cops they saw me steal something i'm getting in the back seat of my friend's car and right as a I close the door, the door whips open and there's a cop there. And he goes, you didn't pay for those donuts. And I look at the seat and next to me is a pack, a little Debbie donuts that belonged to the owner of the car that had been in the car before I got in the car. And I'm so surprised the first words out of my mouth are they're not mine, which is probably the wrong thing to say because the cop's immediately going to take that as an admission of you confessing to stealing something rather than wait for you to explain they belong to the person that

owns the car so he takes me to the front of the store i'm telling him to run the cameras back all that stuff and i realized that they're about to arrest me and i remember i got a pot pipe in my pocket i take the pipe and i throw it in the trash can next to me because there's the front door then there's the um then there's the the front door trash can ice chest with all the bags of ice. So I drop it in the trash can. They tell me to put my hands on the ice chest. They pat me down. Ten minutes after they're done patting me down and I'm in cuffs and they're waiting for the cruiser to come pick me up, the cop looks into the trash can and pulls out the pipe and he goes, oh, look what I found. I watched him throw it in there. Writes the report up like I'm cuffed behind

my back and I'm wiggling around and stuff and he looks behind me and sees the pipe drop. Like, no, that's not what happened. You didn't see me drop that pipe. You're a liar. You wouldn't wait in fucking 10 minutes. But they know how to write up the report. Right. They say that it's possession of a controlled substance because there's still pot residue in it. Well, I had gone to a birthday party and it turned into a crack party about 2 a.m.

And they were smoking crack out of my pot pipe. And it left an aftertaste in it. So I went and boiled the pipe on the stove to get all the residue out. And I hadn't used the pipe since. but I still knew there was probably a nook or cranny that had some residue in it. So I get arrested. They let me out on PR bail. It's Memorial Day weekend.

The newspaper article comes out. I know as soon as the newspaper article comes out, there's going to be a warrant for my arrest for probation violation, just for being arrested. Right. So now I'm on the run. I go on the run for two weeks. They finally catch me.

As soon as I go back to my mother's house, the cops are there two minutes later, the first time I walk in the door. And she still denies to this day that she didn't call the cops on me when I came home. But they were there two minutes later, you know, like, it's not like they were outside. They would have stopped me before I even made it in, you know. Right. But so I get to the courthouse and I'm getting in touch with my lawyer and I'm telling them,

I need to plead guilty to this possession of a controlled substance case before that pipe comes back from the state lab and it has cocaine, and residue in it. Law enforcement often questions him, not because he's suspected of a crime, but because they find him fascinating. He is the most interesting man in the world. I don't typically commit crime, but when I do, it's bank fraud.

Stay greedy, my friends. Support the channel. Join Matthew Cox's Patreon. It never works out like that. It's bike week. They ship us all. out, I miss my court date, all that crap. So I go in front of the judge on my probation violation.

I'm in front of the judge in Superior Court. And I tell the judge, I go, Your Honor, I'm not saying I'm guilty of the charges I was arrested for, but I was arrested, and that is a violation of my probation. And I want you to sentence me to two to five years in state prison for it. Because I know I can't do anything about the pipe. They're going to lie about the pipe. I'm going to get convicted for it. I'm going to wind up in prison anyway.

I'm tired of being in the county jail. Let's just get on with it. And the judge goes, well, I'm not going to allow you to just go to prison just for being arrested. If you did these things, then I can certainly send you to prison for it, but I'm not going to send you to prison for it if you are just saying all you did was get arrested and you're not guilty of these things. I look at my lawyer and I go, will they be able to use this against me when the pipe comes back with coke residue when they charge me with possession of coke.

And he goes, no, they can't use this against you. And I go, in that case, Your Honor, yes, absolutely, the pipe was mine. All right, I'm sentencing you to two to five. A few months later, I get indicted for special felony possession of cocaine. Because the pop pipe had 0.01 grams of delta-9 tetrahydrochaminol and the narcotic drug cocaine. They decided that cocaine was a narcotic, which it isn't. a narcotics, more of a downer.

Cocaine is a stimulant. That's besides the fact. So they charge me with special felony possession of cocaine. They refused to give me a concurrent sentence with the two to five I'm already doing. I tell them, I go, I'll go to trial, lose and get a consecutive three and a half to seven right now before I'll plead guilty to more probation, which is what you guys wanted. I wound up having to go to trial. The jury was out for one hour. hour. They convicted me for the pop pipe. And they give me immediately, we immediately go into

sentencing. The prosecutor gets up and goes, Your Honor, we would like to recommend a two and a half to five year prison sentence for Mr. McCain concurrent with the sentence he's doing right now. And my lawyer gets up and he goes, Your Honor, we were going to recommend the same thing. And the judge goes, I don't know why we just went through a trial and you guys couldn't negotiate this yourselves. And that's when I stand up and I go, Your Honor, this is the same plea. I offered them two weeks before the trial started that they refused. I don't know why we went through a trial either. Fast forward five years later, getting ready to finish this sentence.

Only got about a year left. So it's been about four and a half, four, four and a half years. And I'm in the law library and I'm looking up some cases and I come across a case where the Supreme Court for the state of New Hampshire ruled that the, mere possession of drug paraphernalia is not a crime. And then I find a law that lists the definitions of drug paraphernalia and the criteria to determine if something is drug paraphernalia. And I discover that if residue is on the item in question, that is indicative of it being drug paraphernalia.

So if you find a pot pipe that has residue in it, all you've established is that it's drug paraphernalia. And the Supreme Court has previously established. that the mere possession of drug paraphernalia is not a crime. Ergo, I should not be in prison because that pipe was not illegal. That was my argument, that the lawyer should have made years before that. But because the lawyer didn't make it years before that, I couldn't make that argument four years later.

So I wound up getting out on parole. They did not want to let me out on parole. but they did it was 2009 the recession was happening everyone was broke they let all kinds of people out on parole that didn't want to get out that had no business getting out they let probably me and 20 of my friends out of prison that summer and by the end of that summer every single on us was back in jail with a new charge or wanted by someone because we all got out and we all had no intention on doing anything right and we all were on the same type of mindset let's go get high let's go get drunk let's go make money let's go take shit that doesn't belong to us right so um this is how

i picked up the bank robbery the first time i go to see my po i can tell that she's not trying to let me make it you know i go walking into our office she goes Mr. McKean, I've heard so much about you. I've been looking forward to meeting you. Have a seat. Hi, my name's Trish Thompson. She's like 6.3. Looks like, I don't know,

it looks like she could be a pitcher for the Red Sox, you know, high and tight fade, military personality, you know, that type of woman. And, you know, and she's got two emails in front of her. And she goes, I got a couple emails here from me from the state prison. The first one says, that you're a proud, active member of such and such gang. And this one over here says you're loud, arrogant,

and like to argue with authority figures. What do you have to say about that? And I go, well, first of all, I'm not a gang member. I've never been a gang member. And I happen to have friends that are in all types of gangs, floods, crypts, GDs, you know, white supremacist. I have friends that are on all kinds of different gangs. That doesn't mean I'm in their gang.

And she goes, what about the other one, that you're loud, arrogant and like to argue with authority figures. I go, oh, no, that one of that, that one's absolutely true. Yeah. So, and I'm not expecting any of this. I've been out for a week. I've made a $50 restitution payment. I've filled out an entire page of places where I've gone to apply for jobs.

And I've done three AA meetings and had them all signed off on. I have literally been out a week. I haven't done anything wrong, but she's already jumping down my throat. And I are, and I'm just like, yeah, this is never going. to work and that was my mentality at the time was like i can't make any bad situation work so i'm just going to double down and make it worse so um a few weeks go by we're doing the it's summertime you know we're doing the cookout then we're all just meeting up having barbecues seeing the kids me and all my friends that are out on parole and not supposed to be hanging out with

that I'm not supposed to be hanging out with. So the next thing I know, I start getting high. I was smoking weed all the way up until I left, and I was still dirty for weed when I got out. So I knew I was going to be dirty whenever they pissed tested me, so I just never stopped smoking weed. And then I was like, well, if I'm dirty for weed, and that's going to get me sent back, let me do some Coke.

Let me do some heroin. Let me do a little bit of this. Let me do a little bit of that. Let me do some ecstasy, you know. And every drug I got my hands on, I started playing with. But the problem was, is the Coke we were getting was completely uncut. It was some Dominican, this Dominican dude we were in state prison with was having his cousins drive it up from the Bronx.

And it was uncut. You could touch this cocaine and it would give you a dirty urn. Like, I remember one time I went in the bathroom and broken outs in half to split with somebody, put it in two different bags, walked out. The next person that walked into the bathroom came walking out a minute later and was like, what the fuck man you're in there smoking crack no i went in there and split an ounce and a half he's like man it smells so bad in there it smells like you were smoking it now that's just how strong this coke is and um so i start doing this coke smoking it then i get to shooting it

and it gets to the point where the only way i can really explain it is when me and my co-defendant or in the federal courthouse getting arraigned he goes you know what i used to do when you would mix shots of Coke for us. I'm like, what? He goes, I used to pray. I'm like, what do you mean you used to pray? He's like, I used to pray I wouldn't die. Because there was no science to the way I would mix a shot. Like a lot of people are real technical with it. I just throw some stuff in the spoon, throw some water on it. I'm not measuring anything. It's a Russian roulette every time I was making a shot of Coke. And cocaine is the one drug that I have no control over at all. It's the one drug I can never use again. The other ones I could take or leave.

you know i've been sober so long now but cocaine is the one drug i still know i have no control over so once i really start using coke now my thought process for making money so what we started doing was robin drug dealers of course i mean of course that that's a given it's the next step it's new england you know so i mean there's a lot of guns up here but we don't have nearly the shooting that you guys got down south you know i don't know what it is about down south and shooting versus up here in shootings there's just not that many shootings so i'm me and my buddies are doing home invasions on drug dealers with like baseball bats and two-by-fours and stuff you know because how are you finding the drug dealers like how do you know this is a guy you we would oh we always

used inside information so like if we're from laconia me and a couple of my buddies from Laconia would go to Claremont, New Hampshire, and our buddies in Claremont would tell us who sold drugs in the area. We'd go rob all them. They'd come up to Laconia. We'd tell them who sells drugs. They'd rob all them. So that's how we were just doing it.

We'd go to areas where nobody knew us, but we knew a couple people that knew everyone. And that was our end to figure out who we needed to rob. You know? like um i remember one time we got this one this is a funny one we get this safe right and my my co-defendant in the in the bank robbery case calls me up and he goes um hey um i'm at this mechanics place i'm about to go in and grab this safe can i bring it over to johnny's house and we can crack it over there and i'm like yeah sure no problem let me run home real quick and get some tools is this like in the middle of the day? No, this is the middle of the night. Okay.

So he goes in and gets the safe, brings it over. I get back with the tools. It takes all of two seconds to break it open. It was one of those big white, it's white and plastic on the outsides. It's like one of the fire safes. It's got like concrete and stuff on the inside. Yeah. Real cheap, real easy to just pop open apparently. Well, the funny thing was when we go to get rid of it, we wrap it in a bed sheet and we put it in the car. And then we go to this, the thing the train drives over. I can't remember it for the life of me. A bridge that a train drives over, a trellis.

And we walk up on the train tracks and we're doing one, two, three, and we throw it into the river. Turns out that that type of safe floats, it won't sink. The door was open and everything. We're watching it float right down the river. But once we ran out of drug dealers, that's when I started looking at banks. And I'm like, well, they keep money right there. Why don't we just go in there?

And I'm using some of the things I learned from being in prison, which is they got a top drawer. They got a bottom drawer. Bottom drawer is where most of the bills are. If you tell them not to do something, they're instructed and trained to listen to you. Their job is to get out of the, get you out of the bank as quickly as possible. and ensure the safety of the people that are in the bank. Right. So I knew I didn't need a gun.

I knew I could do it with a note. And I knew that if I went about doing it the way I wanted to do it, I'd be in and out of a bank in 20 seconds. If I'm just grabbing the money from one or two drawers, I'm in and out. And that's what I started doing. And next thing I know, we're running through 15 grand in a couple days. It's amazing how quickly you just pissed through money when it's, free you know it's like when you're actually working for money which i found i didn't find

this out till i got out of prison uh this last time but like when you actually work for money you're you're you're more inclined to think about what you're going to spend it on rather than just buy whatever you see in front of you because you're just going to go steal some more money right so the bank robbery that we got arrested for um the day before the bank robbery we had gotten off the highway and we're at a gas station and we're outside smoking a cigarette and my co-defendant points out a little strip mall it's behind the gas station and then probably six feet down there's like a little hill so it's kind of like you can't really see it that well from the gas station and I look over and there's a bank there I think it was the first national bank of

the first bank of New England or something like that New England National I I can't remember. Something New England was in there. And I go, you know what? That's a good one. We could hit that one first thing tomorrow morning. And he's like, yeah, that's a good idea. So we wind up splitting up.

We connect later that day. And he sends me over to this prostitute's house. There was this literally this building in Manchester, New Hampshire, that everyone in the building was a prostitute. They all had their own apartments. But that's where we would go to hang. out. Prostitutes have never been my thing. So it was just an easy

place to just kind of stay out of the way. So I stayed hanging out with one of these prostitutes all night, literally just hanging out, doing absolutely nothing else. And he went to see his girlfriend. He comes and picks me up first thing in the morning. It's like six o'clock in the morning. And this was one of those days where like everything that could go

wrong goes wrong. We get back to his house. have a bowl of cereal next thing you know we both fall asleep we've been up for days we both pass out wake up it's like 3 30 in the afternoon i go on to wake my coat offending up i'm shaking him and everything and he's he's dope sick he is so dope sick and i'm like he he ain't gonna be able to drive the getaway car right what the fuck so i just go and get in the shower and i'm trying to figure out what we're going to do because he needs to be not dope sick before we can go rob bank and i'm not dope sick i've never been strung out on heroin in my life i've done plenty of

heroin i've just never developed a habit for it the first time i really abused it i had enough minor uh withdrawal symptoms that i decided i was never going to put myself in that situation again so my co-defendant goes comes running into the bathroom and he goes come on Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Guato just called. We can go pick up. Guato was our dealer, who we had actually robbed a few days before that. We had robbed him, and then we went and robbed a bank, and my co-defendant's like, what are we going to do? We can't go get drugs now. I'm like, yeah, we can. Go pay him the money we ripped him off for and give him like an extra $500 for the headache.

We did that. He started fronting us dope after that. So I get out of the shower. We drive down to Lawrence, Massachusetts, And the next thing you know, we're copping like, I think we picked up like five grams of heroin and we immediately do some heroin. I do some just because he's doing some. And we wind up getting so high, we have to go back and get some cocaine. Well, now we need to balance out so we can go do this robbery. We go back get some cocaine. Now we're doing some cocaine on the way to the bank.

We get to the bank. It's in Wyndham, New Hampshire. and right across the street from the bank is a restaurant and there's trees in front of the so you can't see the restaurant's parking lot from the road i tell my co-defendant to pull in there he pulls in there i go stay right here i'll be right back i get out of the car start walking away as soon as i start walking away he starts the car and pulls it out of the parking spot i turn around jump back in the car now i'm yelling at i'm like what the fuck are you doing he's too high now that's the problem when he gets too high he can't function he

starts talking to himself he just gets weird and unpredictable right unreliable exactly he pulls out of the parking lot and now he's on the road as soon as he gets past the strip mall and i can't see the bank i yelled at him to pull the car over he pulls the car over and i look him right in the out, I go, don't fucking move from this fucking spot. I'll be right fucking back. You're about to come out of that bank with a bag of money and no getaway car. Right. You know,

like, it's not a secret, what we're there for. I don't know why he got out of the parking spot. So, I start walking towards the bank. I walk in, I go, as I go to open the front door of the bank, a woman's leaving the bank. And I go walking. up to the person at the desk and I go to hand her the note and I see immediately she does

what everybody does. She gets flustered. So I start snapping my fingers. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Give me all the money in the top and bottom drawer. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. And the woman next to her, I look at her and I go, you can give me all your money too. So they're getting all their money together. Well, what had happened was as I was leaving the, as I was entering the bank, the woman that was leaving the bank, the door was still open. She heard me. let's go give me all the money she heard that right before the door closed finally as she was in the little foyer area to go out the other bank and exit so she's on the phone to 911 while she's in the parking lot leaving the parking lot telling them there's a bank robbery going if i had waited a split second she never would have been in the parking lot on the phone she wouldn't have heard me start robbing the bank i'm leaving the bank with the money and i'm walking down the sidewalk past the other stores and i get in the getaway car and now we drive away we're driving in the wrong direction we want to be in the other

direction but because he got out of the parking spot we're no longer able to just pull out and take a right leaving the restaurant to get towards the highway we're kind of stuck going in the direction we're pointed well she also sees the getaway car the description of the car gets the plate number and all that because she's on the phone with 911 and he parked where he parked instead of parking somewhere else so now they immediately know what car they're looking for this road takes us all the way around town in a very slow way so we finally circle underneath the highway we come back around from the other side and traffic starts slowing down and as traffic starts slowing down, we see that there's a cop doing, um, uh, traffic control.

He looks at the car, looks at the license plate, looks at me, looks at my co-defendant, and goes out in front of the car like this, like stop. My co-defendant hits the breakdown lane and takes off. We're in a Dodge Avenger. It's probably like a 98, something like that, but it was a V6 coop. So it would get up and go when you wanted it to. This cop stops to be a vehicle. behind us gets in the passenger seat and does one of those right out of the movies follow that car the cops are on the other side of the highway and literally they're probably two football fields from the entrance to the highway and they're all there already because they've been robbed and it's been a minute since it took us to circumvent this town to get

back to the entrance so now we're on 95 north no we're on 93 north north in New Hampshire. And it's rush hour on a Friday afternoon. And we're in the breakdown lane. I'm throwing the clothes I'm wearing out the window over the railing. The few money bans we have, I'm throwing them out the window. Now I'm taking, now I'm looking at the money and we really didn't get shit either. If we had hit the bank first thing in the morning, we would have got 15 grand out of that

register because we both fell asleep. it was like $850. It was just all bad. So we're getting to the next exit, which is like, I think it's like the Londonderry exit, exit four, and traffic is at a standstill, except for us. And I know that they're about to spit us off the exit. Because we're in the breakdown lane,

we have to get off the exit because of where we're at on the highway. He's like, what are we going to do? I'm like, we got to get to 93 south. we got to get going south and going to massachusetts they can't cross state lines i know this because i had just watched the movie public enemies which became my favorite movie of all time with johnny dep where they had they couldn't cross state lines back then i was going to say that sounds like something you saw like you know it definitely that's definitely something that that one of like like one of your stoner buddies tells you listen bro we can go drive over the

state line they can't follow us right yeah and then you base your entire the rest of your life on on the fact that your stoner buddy said he he I know what I'm doing oh well trust me all right trust me everyone's famous last words trust me you have a vast experience in you know like yeah a brick layer or, you know, working in a convenience store. And that's your experience based on this law that doesn't exist. So what happens? They call ahead. They're waiting for you.

Well, I know they're going to be waiting when we get off the exit. So we hit the emergency crossover right before the exit. And right as we're trying to maneuver in between vehicles, they try to box us in. We spin out. We go around them over the crossover. Now we're heading south. no traffic heading south you know nobody's heading back to massachusetts after working in new hampshire all week so we wind up hitting 93 south our plan is to go into massachusetts

it's only a couple exits away like three exits away all of a sudden traffic starts slowing down slowing down we hit over into the breakdown lane we're doing like at least 115 120 all of a sudden we see the stopsticks get thrown out in front of the car. My co-defendant just at this speed you cannot make a conscious decision to do anything other than how your body reacts when you see stopsticks get thrown in front of you at 120. And he swerves around him, it takes out the right tires on the right side of the vehicle. And it also, the left tires run over the foot of the police officer that was, deploying the stopsticks because he got the string on the stopsticks stuck in his boot and he

was trying to untangle it it ripped his boot off sent his boot flying across the highway um because of where they found the boot they actually wrote the crash report up to make it sound like we crossed two lanes of traffic and went out of our way to run this cop over it was just that's how far the boot flew when it ripped the boot off when a boot got ripped off of his foot so now we have two tires and all you can hear is which is the wheels grinding into the pavement and there's rubber lying up over the hood blue smoke everywhere from burnt rubber it's a mess

and my co-defendant's like flipping out he throws me a gram of Coke and he goes mix it now I'm mixing shots of Coke while we're in the middle of a high-speed chase And are you still thinking you're going to get in away with it if you get over the state line? That's still in my mind because we haven't actually made it over the state line yet. So, oh, the stopsticks also took out a cruiser, the very next cruiser behind us. So one of the cruisers was out of the race.

They drive deploying stopsticks again right before we get to the state line and we swerve around them. I don't know how because I had to hold the wheel for my co-defendant while he shot up. And we had no traction at all. I don't know how he managed to keep us on the road as long as he did with two tires, but he did. So next thing you know, we go around another set of stops sticks, takes out another cruiser behind us. We get a couple exits into Massachusetts.

And finally, my co-defendant, as soon as we get over the state line, he looks behind us. He goes, they're still following us. What do I do? What do I do? That's crazy. Yeah, I'm like, they're not surprised. I didn't know about the hot pursuit law where they can just radio ahead and be like, yeah, we're in hot pursuit. We're coming in.

Did you ever see Smokey and the Bandit? No. See, that's the problem. I saw Smoky and the Bandit and I knew that during a pursuit, they can actually follow you through multiple jurisdictions. But see, I saw Smoky and the Bandit, you didn't. And that changed everything. Right. I saw public enemies, and their laws predate Smoky and the Bandit.

That's why. Yeah, that's exactly. So we get off in Drake at Massachusetts is when we decide to get off the highway. And I still don't know how we got off the highway because it was one lane and there was a lot of backed up traffic. Like somehow we managed to get up on the side and go around some vehicles. And now we're on the double yellow. And we're driving cars off both sides of the road because we're trying to out. run the cops. And it gets so dangerous, the cops actually stop following us. And when we realize

they stopped following us, my co-defendants, like, what are we going to do? I'm like, we need to stop another vehicle and hijack their car. Yeah, so carjacking. That is the way to go. Absolutely, that's the way to go in this situation. We need a new car. We need to get away. He's like, well, what do I do? I go hit somebody in the rear quarter panel. It's going to slow us down because we don't have breaks because we're missing two tires and it's also going to make them pull over we do that he happens to hit the one car that has a car load of dominican and porto rican dudes in it like i jump out of the airbag hits me in the face i jump out of the car i start running towards the car we're going to carjack four people get out i immediately don't even break don't even miss a beat now i run towards the right

i'm going to hit the guardrail and hop in the river swim across the river the merrimack river which is like the biggest river up there. And that's how I'm going to get away. They come right around the corner and tackle me. What? Do you still have the $800? Oh, I missed that part. So I took half the money, right?

Right. And gave it to my co-defendant. And I took the other half and I rolled it up in a tube, in a tube about this big, right? and I tucked it in between my butt cheeks is what I did with it. And it stayed there rather well, for a while, at least. And that'll come up later. So then, so I'm right before the guardrail.

The cops are still following us, so I find out, but they had slowed down. And they come around the corner, they see me, they jump out of the vehicle, tackle me, they're punching me in the back of the head. What's your name? Fuck you. Boom, boom, boom. What's your name? Fuck your mother. Boom, boom, boom. They get me all cuffed up. I don't know what's going on, my co-defendant. I found out that he got out of the car and ran in the opposite direction of the car we were supposed to carjack. I still don't know why to this day. They actually tackled. They didn't tackle him. They tased him in the river for 26 seconds. It was on the taser report. one of the cops that was wrestling with him in the river

after the words lost his gun and his flashlight in the river they finally get us in the back of cruisers they read me my rights and I'm like yeah I think I'll take the lawyer they read him his rights and they go we just want to know who's driving the car he goes I don't know what car you're talking about so they get us to the state trooper barracks in North Andover Mass

And as we're walking up the stairs I go looking at my co-defendant and he is he was 200 pounds 6 foot 2 when he got out of prison four months earlier he was about 150 pounds Now he was strung out

when I got out a month after him and he's soaking wet and he just has this look of devastation on his face and I go hey pick And he goes, looking at me, he's like, I go, hey, man, I don't know about you, but I had fun today. And I'm doing it mainly, I'm doing it for his, his peace of mind, but I'm also doing it for the cops because at this point in my life, I hate the police, kill the cops, I hope they all die, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, it doesn't matter that they're the ones that are out here protecting your family while you're sitting your ass in prison because of the choices you made. Right.

so I'm getting booked and this detective comes walking in and I and it's obvious to me that he's a detective and he goes walking out back to the holding cells and I hear him screaming he goes you either robbed the bank or you drove the car which is it and at this point I realized well this is where I'm going to find out if my co-defendant's going to be solid and tell on me or not cop comes walking out 30 seconds later pissed They bring me out to the holding cell Bring him out to book him I'm still cuffed up

So I'm sitting on the floor of the holding cell With cuffs behind me And this guy who's obviously a detective He has his badge on his belt Comes walking in, same guy He goes walking in He goes, you either robbed the bank Or you drove the car which is

And I go, are you my lawyer? He's like, I'm not your lawyer I'm like, well I ask for a lawyer He goes, you either robbed the bank Or you drove the car, which is it? And I go lawyer he goes do you know how much time you're looking at you're looking at three class a felonies that's 21 years in prison and i go apparently you can't do math retard that's

22 and a half years in prison go ahead run that concurrent with the prison sentence i'm going to do already fuck you and he storms off we get brought to the county jail first thing they do is strip me out that's when the money comes back up they literally they're doing the all right bend over cough i do that real quick and spend hold on hold on what's that just money you know like and i say it like it's the most natural like everyone keeps money why wouldn't there be money tucked in between my ass cheeks and um they take me they put me on drug watch now so they put me on drug watch okay so that now i got a shit and this is something they do in prison when they think you might have drugs inside of you

they will put you in a room with nothing but a toilet with a trash bag over it to collect your waste or they'll bring you a bucket to defecate in for when you say you finally need to go So they kept me there for a few days until I finally went to the bathroom And then they let me out into the shoe We go to court on Monday By now they've literally just thrown me in a cell And left me there

Haven't said anything to me Wouldn't even give me toilet paper, that type of thing You know, they're like, oh, they tried to kill a cop Fuck man That's the type of treatment you get My co-defendant's super dope sick So he spends his whole time in medical They take us to court Monday

And the first lawyer that comes down and talks to us, says, listen, if you waive extradition, they're going to take you back to New Hampshire today. And I'm like, all right, let's go. We get to the, we get up to the courthouse, we waive extradition. They immediately take us into custody and take us to New Hampshire, where they book us at the police station and ran us at court, $400,000, cash-only bail. The next day, they take us back to the state prison. Because of the notice, variety, they take my co-defendant directly to shoe. My charge is criminal liability for the conduct of another for attempted second-degree murder on a police officer. It's a very long

charge. Yeah. So it only shows up as criminal liability as a pending charge, which doesn't sound bad at all, but when you read the whole thing, you realize you're looking at just as much time as the guy that was arrested for attempted murder on a police officer. Right. And, um, I need to be near my co-defendant. We have to talk, obviously. We need to get our stories straight so we could try to figure out how we can salvage this. Not to mention how many other cases might be coming down from all the other crap we've done in the last 90 days. But, you know, this is the worst one that we got in front of us.

Let's just deal with this one. So I go out of my way to pick a fight with the first person that just looks at me wrong. and I get in the fight, I go to Shoe. Now I'm in Shoe. Well, they won't let me anywhere near him. Won't let us in the same wing, so he's above me or I'm below him. And that's where they kept us until they wound up indicting us.

We went to the federal courthouse, and that was the last time I actually was in the same room as him. They put us in the same holding cell up until we were arraigned. And then they put us in separate holding cells. When it actually came time to plead guilty, though, I had fired my lawyer because she wasn't doing anything. We were two weeks away from, we were two weeks away from picking a jury, wasn't answering my calls, wasn't responding to letters, wasn't coming to visit me. I filed a motion to get rid of her. And I put in there, additionally, she is African American and I am a white supremacist, which

is not true. It was me needing a lawyer, icing on the cake, just to ensure I'm going to get a new lawyer. Is that in your jacket? It was after the letter.

Yeah, like, no, I'm bald because I can't grow hair on my head. I don't know if you can't see that, but that's been going on since I was 22. But so I go into the court, I get the new lawyer, Well, in the motion I put in there that I wanted to have my day in court and I wanted a trial.

So the U.S. attorney told the FBI to set up witness interviews. So that's what the FBI did. Because the FBI did that, I never got my third level off for acceptance of responsibility because I did not help the government save money and not having to prepare for trial because they called the FBI and they scheduled some witness interviews. Right. And I have a question for you, you were charged. So, I mean, the chase and everything, like, that was all kind of state, but this is federal. Like, you ended up in the federal system, right? Yeah, the feds indicted us for bank robbery.

Everything related to the car chase, the injury to the cop, all that was calculated in the sentencing guidelines. Okay. So, like, the car chase was two points for reckless conduct. The injury to the police officer was four points, serious. oddly injury, that type of thing. Right. When it came to my co-defendant, they gave him the official victim enhancement because he was pleading guilty to driving the getaway car.

So they were able to say he drove the car because he was pleading guilty to driving the car. But what happened was is because he pled guilty in the feds, that gave them the ammunition in state to give him all the other felonies related to the car chase. they wound up giving him a consecutive 10 to 20 for driving the getaway car in state that he's serving right now after 137 months in the feds. So his

admitting responsibility really worked to his advantage. No, did not at all. I know that. I'm joking. Yeah, I understand that. It's supposed to work. Like, look, if you just own up to what you did, then it'll work to your you know like to you you they they pitch it as it will help you it'll

it's good if you own up to what you do because then they take pity on you and they they give you a reduction in the sentence but in his case it would work to his detriment yeah and and it was crazy too because when he was getting ready to go to trial he went to trial on it because the best plea offer they were giving him was like 20 to 40 and um so when he was getting ready to go to trial. I told his people, I'm like, he needs to call me as a witness. Right. Because I would not testify that I drove the getaway car, but I would say everything else that would allow the jury to draw that conclusion. Right. I will spend the story in such a way that there will not be a doubt in anyone's mind that I was driving the getaway car without incriminating myself. Right. And they knew what I was

trying to do they tried they they they went out of their way to stop me from testifying and that's exactly what happened i was in beaumont texas at the time when he was going to trial on the state charges and um i never saw the courtroom they the judge would not let me testify they wanted like a sworn affidavit for me about the type of things i would testify to before they would just allow me on the stand with no prior knowledge as to what i would say right and his lawyer wasn't really trying too hard to get me up there either because his On July 18th, get excited. This is big!

For the summer's biggest adventure. I think I just smurf my pants. That's a little too excited. Sorry. Smurfs. Only did it is July 18th. There wasn't about to play whatever game I was trying to play. Right.

So he winds up getting the consecutive 10 to 20. When it came time for me to get sentenced in the feds, um my lawyer comes to talk to me and he tells me he goes uh yeah so i think they're looking at a booker variance and i go there was nothing in the ps i about a variance there there was no motion from them about a variance or anything like that he goes yeah but the judge it's in the judge's discretion so i realize a weapon no weapon okay so I'm only getting two levels off for acceptance

of responsibility. We're arguing the third one, but I know it's in the government's discretion. I'm probably not going to get it. And now I hear the word variance, and I'm worried that now I was looking at, I think it was 105 to 125. I got 125 months, but the 125 I got was the high end of my guidelines. But as soon as they start talking variances, I'm like, I know I'm looking at 20 years, tops. So I need to say something to this judge. So I get in front of this judge and I'm driving my lawyer crazy at this point, right? Because the cop we hit is behind us. He's wearing crutches. My lawyer before the judge gets in the courtroom, he's whispering to me. He's like, yeah, they don't know if he can go back to work or not. I'm like, he can go back to work. He's faking it loud as hell in the courtroom. I'm not. I'm not.

doing myself any favors the judge comes out my i have a question if your buddy has he gone to trial did they say that he was the one that was driving the car at this point like why is the judge like i wasn't driving the vehicle i don't know why this guy's on crutches like i wasn't drive if i wasn't driving the vehicle why is he even here because he was my co-defendant and they're saying he was the getaway driver for the bank robbery i robbed the bank all this that happened afterward is is because of the bank robbery. Right, right, right. That's how they're tying it all in together.

So I realize I got to say something to this judge in the form of an allocution. The judges, the lawyers are doing their talking and everything. And at one point, it seems like the judge is on my side. Then I can tell he's really not on my side at all. And or why would he be at the same time? Why would he be on my side after the crap I've put some of these people through? right so they wind up um they get done talking and now it's my turn to say something the judge gives me the opportunity to say something at this point my lawyer doesn't realize i'm going to say a word

and he doesn't want me to say a word because the only thing i'm i'm being a cocky 24 year old kid with a chip on his shoulder i'm just doing nothing but giving this guy grief but i proceed to get up and i tell the judge how sorry i am how no one was supposed to get hurt how how I have a drug problem that's never been treated. And I pull out some crocodile tears and everything. And it was a real good performance because I wasn't sorry at all. I was manipulating the system. And I know there's plenty of listeners right now that this guy is a fucking scumbag.

This guy is a, he never should have got out of prison. But we're getting to that. And I agree with them. I deserved much more time in prison than I got. If I was still in prison right now, I would still say I deserve to be there for the things that I did, not a doubt in my mind. The judge literally tells me, he goes, I was going to give you 12 or even 14 years until I heard what you had to say. And it was because of what you had to say that I'm going to give you 125 months, which is 10 and a half years, which is less than 12 or 14 that he wanted to give me. And at that point, I'm having to bite my tongue to keep from like busting.

out with like the Cheshire cat grin but the moment the judge was out of the courtroom I busted out laughing so hard and my lawyer he went from like he went from like oh wow this is good I got a good result for my client

too like you ever see the movie primal fear you know the look at the end when Edward Norton finally lets him realize he's been gaming him the whole time. The look on Richard Gere's face. Like that was the look on my lawyer's face

when he realized like the tears and all that was just an act. And I got to watch that movie again. That's a great movie. Oh, great, great, phenomenal movie. But that's how I wound up getting to the feds, you know. And my experience in the feds was completely different. I still had to do two and a half years. I'd beat up some cops in the county jail at over.

overnight court. They had sent us to rock the bank robbery was out of Rockingham County. So before the feds picked it up, we had a bunch of state arraignments, probable cause hearing, stuff like that. And they wanted to keep taking us to overnight court. We'd leave the state prison. They put us in overnight court. Well, the first time I went to overnight court had some weed on me that I had found in

the holding cell in Massachusetts that I had brought back to New Hampshire with me so when they put me in a holding when they put me in a cell with somebody he's got batteries and everything so i'm i'm roll of joint i'm smoking weed and next thing you know the door opens they're like you know i don't normally mind what happens in my jail but when i smell reefer i have to investigate and i go you know what i don't care what happens in your jail either and i don't know if you can recognize me or not but my face was just all over the news i'm going back to prison tomorrow and i don't give a fuck about you your jail or this fucking joint i'm smoking well come come with me i i smoke the joint all the way down to the booking area they put me in the booking

area and that's where they leave me till the next day well the next week i got a probable cause hearing we're sitting there for the probable cause hearing it's me my co-defendant and two of our friends are there their co-defendants on a simple assault case they also have court well my co-defendant's still dopesick and he's banging on the window when i'm coming back from the booking area telling them he needs a cup so he can get some water and i stop and i look at this he all and I go, that man's dope sick. You need to get him some water. Yeah, yeah, we'll see about that.

We'll see about that. We don't give a fuck about you guys. They put me in the holding cell. So there's two holding cells and then a big tank. Two of them are in the tank. My co-defendant is somebody else. One of us is in the holding cell next to the tank, and I'm in the other holding cell next to that holding cell.

I go looking up, I see their sprinklers. And I go, hey, you guys want some water. We can pop these sprinklers. We pop the sprinklers. they indict us for popping the sprinklers. They take us to overnight court for popping the sprinklers. I tell my two co-defendants, now I'm co-defendants with the two guys that were on the simple assault case.

My co-defendant that was dopesick didn't pop the third sprinkler. It was the other guy in the tank. So I'm telling them, I go, listen, I'm sick and tired of coming here to overnight court. I'm never coming to overnight court again. I'm going to cause so much of a disturbance when we get off this. van just sit back and enjoy the show well we get off the van they take me out back strip me out give me my bed rail uh my bed roll and i'm sitting in i'm standing in front of the uh desk there and i look at the corporal and i see one of a one of uh my co-defendants is in a two-man room and i

go hey why don't you put me in there with gilbert we'll have a nice quiet night we'll get along and he goes no you guys ain't getting shit you guys were assholes last time you were here you ain't getting shit this time and I go well I'm trying to be nice but you want me to be an asshole I can start being an asshole right now and I throw my bed roll down at this point I'm working out twice a day I'm like 24 I'm 23 years old working out twice a day um because it's been months since the arrest excuse me um sitting in shoes still so I have nothing to do other than work out and just be an asshole. Right.

And so I throw the bedroll on the ground and I go to square up with the guy. Well, he's behind the desk. He literally comes running out from around the desk and kicks me with a front kick right to my midsection as I'm coming over him to hit him. I hit him on the jaw and drop him right as he kicks me in the stomach. The two guards behind me start trying to put my arms behind my back. I'm trying to shake him off. I get my right hand free, right as the guy I dropped, gets up again, and I hit him again, drop him again. They kicked my legs out from under me.

At one point, I grabbed somebody's finger and just twisted and broke it. At some point in the thrashing, somebody got kicked in the ankle, and they wound up with like a sprained ankle or something. But three of them wound up going to the hospital. Right after that, they go into the room that I wanted to go into where Gilbert was, and they literally are pushing him around. because of what i just did you're going to shave this mustache and you're going to do this and you're going to do that and they're they're poking him in the chest and he goes hey don't poke me in the chest anymore and he pokes him in the chest again and he punches the lieutenant they pepper sprayed him unconscious he woke up in the uh he woke up in the shower but because they did that to

him they didn't charge us for the assaults on the cops and i never had to go to overnight jail again you know and and that was the the win win that that was just the way it went you know like that that's any situation that i had when i was that age could be solved with violence in one way or another violence was the violence was just my belief at that time was violence and fear are more important than anything if this is the life i'm going to lead so i get to the federal prison getting a off the bus the good day the first place i go to is bloody beaumont nice now in 2012 what they had done was

with bloody bomah bloody bomont was such a bad place to be for so many years they shut the entire prison down and shipped out 75% of the people and turned it into an fcii everyone that stayed there they gave a management variable to so they could be at an FCI. They did this for several years. When I got there in 2012, they had just changed it from on January 1st of 2012 back to a USP. He built some of the nation's largest banks out of an estimated $55 million, because $50 million wasn't enough, and $60 million seemed excessive. He is the most interesting man in the world. I don't typically commit crimes, but when I do, it's bank fraud.

Stay greedy, my friends. Support the channel. Join Matthew Cox's Patreon. So I was one of the first people getting there as it becoming a USP. There's still a bunch of medium guys that are there that need to get transferred. And at the time, they were getting ready to shut down USP Florence and turned it into a smoo. and we wound up getting a lot of people from FCI Florence, or USP Florence, to USP Beaumont. And the smooth, that's where, like, it's like a dropout, gang dropout guys?

No, the smoo is for the real troublemakers. You get to a USP and you still don't want to behave. You're stabbing people, cell phones, doing all the stuff they don't want you to do. They're going to put you in the smoo, which is 23 hour a day lockdown. You get out once a day other than that. So it's the opposite of the guys that are dropping out. Right. It's the guys that are all in.

Once they invented that program, things really changed, you know. Up until that point, you could be at a USP and stab somebody several times and be back out on the yard a couple weeks later. That's how they ran USPs then. But once they had a place to send the troublemakers to, then it became real easy to get there. you get a couple hundred series shots you get caught with a couple knives a batch of wine dirtier and stuff like that next thing you know you're in the smooth for nine months to a couple years it depends because you can screw everything up with one shot and have to start that program all over again yeah i was going to say um it's funny the higher you know it really works like the opposite of what you would think it's kind of like the you know like the the correctional officers at the camp and the low treats you like dog shit and then as they get up to the medium they treat you a little bit better they get to the pen and they're they're downright respectful to you but then it also it's funny because in the medium there would be a stabbing in the yard right like there's a riot or a stabbing

there's guys fighting and stabbing each other in the yard and they would call lockdown they'd lock you down and the next move they'd open back up again and let everybody go you about your business but at the low if there was a stabbing or a fight, you're locked down for four days. Yeah. It's like, what's the, like, that doesn't make any sense at all. But yeah, it just doesn't, it doesn't work the way you would think logically this should work. Well, none of it worked the way I thought it would because I'm leaving after having spent 18 months in jail and then a four-year prison sentence and then two and a half more waiting to get to the feds. I get there, and I remember the first time I spoke to SIS getting off the bus, and they bring me in the room.

They're like, what's your name of like Pat McKean? And they go, oh, yeah, we've been waiting for you. Have a seat. Like, who are you? We're like, we're SIS. I'm like, what's SIS? We investigate things. Go, oh, your investigation is like, yeah, we're investigations.

I go, I have nothing to say to you. I don't want to sit down and talk to you guys. I don't realize that every time you're transferred somewhere, they're one of the first people you have to speak to before. you go to the yard. It's just part of their process. And he goes, I said, I said, shut the door and sit down. And I go, no, he gets up and goes and shuts the door. And I'm still standing there. And they're like, we have your whole file from New Hampshire. And I'm like, oh, great. He goes, I don't know what you did to those people. He goes, well, I know what you did to those people. He goes, well, you're not going to be doing the same stuff you did here. And the two and a half years that I was waiting to

get to the feds when I was wrapping up my state time, I was just balls to the wall doing whatever I wanted. I spent a whole year in the shoe at one point. And about eight months of that was I'm getting extracted every day. I'm fighting with the cops. At one point, the lieutenant at the state prison sat me down. He goes, in the last 90 days, you have more write-ups than anyone. You are public enemy number one. And I go, I want you to ship me out of state. If I have to stay in this state prison, because at the time I had a concurrent kidnapping case that was a state charge and they were they were thinking about holding me for the entire time I had that kidnapping case before they were going to let me go to the feds and I was not going to what was the kidnapping case it was the story I told you about on the phone with the the set the kid who turned out to be 17 because the crack dealer sent them to smash the windows out of my car and we wanted to know that who else was there with baseball bats. Oh, okay.

They wound up charging us for that, and we wound up getting, I got a concurrent sentence with the feds, but the state wanted to hold on to me. I had to write to the court and say, this sentence is supposed to be concurrent with the feds. If they hold on to me, it's not going to count towards my federal time until I'm in federal custody, and they had to re-amend the sentence so that they had to force me to go into the federal system. So I finally get to the feds and everything's different. I walk on the unit and I'm immediately put in a cell with a white guy from Texas.

I'm getting introduced to the leaders of the Aryan Brotherhood of Texas right off the bat because a few of them lived in my unit. And, you know, we're all just getting to know each other. You know, I already made sure my paperwork was good. I had multiple copies of my PSI, my judgment commitment, and my, uh, docket sheet in a couple different places to mail into me. So I wound up getting all my paperwork immediately. So they knew I wasn't a rat, anything like that. They just knew I was a white guy from New Hampshire.

Well, I started telling stories about crimes I've committed and things like that. And the way I conduct myself in prison. And what happened was is these guys in the feds love to just talk shit behind people's backs. They ain't going to say nothing to your friends. face, they're just going to run their mouth behind your back. So I come walking into the unit one day, and my cellie sits me down and he goes, hey, man, some people have been talking. They don't like the way you're carrying yourself.

You're acting like you're ready to put in some work. Well, there's this chomo in the unit and you got to go smash him off the yard. And I go, there's a chomo in the unit? Yeah, that guy over there, they point out this guy that lives two doors next to me and was in the unit before I move there. I'm like that guy's a chomo and you guys have been living with him longer than you've been living with me yeah but don't worry we're going to send someone with you like I don't need anyone to go with me to fight someone I don't need anybody to have my back I went in there I beat up the chomone they find him all beat up

he's bleeding and everything they lock the unit down now they're running the cameras back to see who went in that cell and beat the dude up they come and grab me take me to the lieutenant's office right off the bat there's like eight lieutenants in there and the first one goes now before you say anything i'd like to point out that you have some blood on your shoes and i go yeah they're like uh so what happened i go he disrespected me so i beat him up now before i did this everyone's like well what are you going to say when sys asks you why you did it because we don't want to get locked down out here and i go well if you guys don't want to get locked down, you shouldn't send people out on dummy missions to do shit in front of the

cops. I'm not going to go beat somebody up in front of the cops like you guys want me to do so that we both get locked up. I'm going to do it and they're going to find him whenever they find him or he's going to pick himself up and go get medical attention or whatever. I'm not, I'm not going to do this the way you want me to do it. They're like, well, what are you going to say to SIS? I'm like, I'm not going to tell them shit. Well, you have to tell him something. We don't want to get locked down. Well, I'm going to be in shoes. I don't really care if you guys are locked down. So I'm sitting in the lieutenant's office and they're like, what happened? I'm like, he disrespected me. He's like, how do you disrespect you? I go, well, people have been complaining

that he has body odor issues. So I went up to him and I said, hey, man, this is what people are saying about you. You need some hygiene stuff. He told me to get the fuck out of your, out of my face. And so I beat him up a little bit. They're like, you didn't beat him up a little bit. You beat the shit out of him. He might need surgery, blah, blah, this type of thing. And I go, they're like, we know you got sent on a mission. Somebody sent you on a mission. They're trying to get me to say that I beat him up because he's a chomo and I'm not going to say that. Right. And they're like

go ahead, tell me another story. And I go, all right, well, once upon a time, Little Red Riding Hood was on our way to her grandmother's house and get in the fuck out of here. They were not happy with me. And two weeks later, I was back on the yard. And I'm like, this is amazing. I can get in a fight and go right back out to the yard.

You know, like, I'm just another bank robber here. under the fucking radar. This is amazing. There's a bunch of knuckleheads on the USP level that can draw the attention of the cops. So I start doing the things I wanted to do. I taught myself how to draw in prison. Now I wanted to learn how to tattoo.

Tattooing in a USP is legal. The COs will come in the room and watch you tattoo. They'll come in the room and be like, hey, you need to put that away. The lieutenant's in the unit next door doing rounds. Don't let the lieutenant catch you. All right, cool.

I learned how to make moonshine in Beaumont. Did you ever run into shine in any of the mediums you were in? Yeah. And what you just said, it was funny that the tattoo guys would go up to the cop and be like, listen, man. Like, I got a guy coming in. I know, I know not all cops are cool with him. He'd be like, listen, fucking lieutenant comes in at like 6 o'clock. So have your lookout waiting for him.

When he comes in, shut it down, he'll walk. He'll be in here 10, 15 minutes. you can go right you can go all you know all in but don't get me fucked up or i'll never let you do it again they'd like absolutely not and he you know and they'd tell them you get a good lookout like they're like coaxing them you know they're coaching them on what to do yeah we we had a listen we had a ceo go to the tattoo guy in our unit showed him a design for a tattoo that he'd kind of sketched up and asked him if he could redraw it

and he re-drew it and he used to tell the tattoo guy in my unit I wish you could do this tattoo for me I mean listen he was amazing because we had a they're great tattoo artists oh yeah in prison yeah but I mean that's how comfortable

you're right and then at the medium they're shaking you down every two or three days looking for the guns like it was a completely different environment yeah so I can imagine at a pin they're just trying to keep the guys in the pin from stabbing the guards stabbing each other and stabbing the guards that's the only thing they care about you know like i could literally i was making i was coming down with moonshine batches two three times a week in

beaumont you know there are always like three four pint batches but like and for the people that are listening i'm talking about real moonshine like what you would see or encounter in the real world probably even stronger because i would prove it like this every pull out of the batch I would light on fire on a Q-tip because a Q-tip's going to hold the same amount of liquid every time. It's going to burn the alcohol off and then the residue that's left over it's just going to be a moist,

wet Q-tip when the flame goes out. So everything that I pulled out of that batch of wine that I'm putting the heating element to to get the steam to distill it all, if it didn't light on fire, I threw it away. So I got stuff that

just tastes like straight rubbing alcohol, eight ounces is all anybody needs you know you'd literally just need eight ounces and for most people that's probably too much you know depending on how quickly you drink it too but i made a lot of money off of liquor in prison and everywhere i went i always made it my goal to make the best possible if i encountered somebody that made good liquor i would go out of my way to make mine better which is just a matter of not pulling as much distillate out of the batch when you're distilling, you know, but that's how I hustled, you know. I would run tickets. I'd take bets from people and count stamps and give them to the ticket, man. I spend time, I spent a lot of time writing.

You know, I wrote a lot of short stories when I was in prison. I did a lot of reading. I can't tell you how much reading I did. But it wasn't until I had about five. years left that i was transferred to usp terra hut and i had had to have back surgery and i had spent a bunch of time fighting with the nursing staff and coleman won so after my surgery they shipped me i wound up eventually making it to tarahut because i needed to get to a care level three i'm recovering from back surgery but i just coleman one last time you had said you were in beaumont i was in beaumont the day i left beaumont i hopped off the top bunk and i when i hopped off the top bunk. I herniated the L5 S1 disc in my back. It was a 13.5 millimeter herniation, which means

the disc moved over a half inch and slammed into the sciatic nerve root. That was just from hopping off the top bunk. So when I was in Coleman 1 and I'm needing treatment, I'm literally in medical every day. And I got in an argument with one of the nurses. I wound up getting thrown in shoe over it and when i was in shoe they actually transferred me to the medium shoe and the medium coleman shoe was actually where i was when i had my surgery and when i initially recovered from my surgery so when i was finally good enough to get on the bus and get transferred they sent me to florence colorado because they had changed it back to a usp from a smoo i get

to Florence, and they put me in with the general for the ABT's on the yard, which is like the highest ranking type. This guy did like 22 years in Texas Department of Corrections, and the day he walked out, he walked into a pair of handcuffs for a RICO case for the feds, and he picked up like another 20 years in the feds. He's my sally. Well, the white, the independent white dudes attack the ABTs, because they're sick and tired of the ABTs trying to dig.

dictate what the independent white dudes do. And it turns into a whole big thing. I'm still recovering from back surgery. I'm not involved in it at all, but three people left in helicopters. Two of them almost died. One of them lost an ear. He had his ear bit off by a guy whose claim to fame was biting someone's ear off years earlier. And he did it again.

And I always hate those types of guys, like, do something really catastrophic to someone, right? and then they live off it for years and years and years and I'm thinking of myself like he's just talk he's just talking and then he bit somebody's ear off again I was like all right he wasn't he wasn't one of those guys that just talk to talks talks but I wound up getting drawn in with the whole smashing the ABTs off the yard and they wind up just shipping a bunch of random people they wind up putting me in the hole and I'm sitting in the hole and I'm telling them I'm recovering from back surgery I need a care level three facility thinking I'm going to wind up in Allenwood. Well, they send me to Tara Hut, which is a dropout yard. There's a bunch of gang members there that are no longer gang members. People want to kill them in their gang. That's why they're there. Rats, sex offenders, all the bad people, all the people that you don't want on a yard are there.

And I'm so tired of being in shoe that I just don't care anymore. Because the moment I hit this yard, I can no longer go back to an active USP yard. I'm stuck on dropout yards. I can't walk on to another yard and be like, yeah, I just came from Terre Hut. They're going to try to kill me. Because the difference at the USP level versus the mediums and the lows is when

most mediums, you can just walk up to somebody and be like, hey, everyone's decided that you can't be here anymore. You need to go up top, which means you need to go to the office. You need protective custody. Well, at a USP, that's not an option. You can't go tell somebody they need to check in. You have to smash them off the yard, which means you need to beat the holy hell out of them so that they have to go to

medical, or the cops find them, or sometimes smash them off the yard means you're literally trying to kill the person. You know, it never really made sense to me that people in the feds wanted to use murder weapons like knives to assault people in front of the cops just to get somebody off the yard. That's the, that's literally the mentality people have in USP. is I'm going to do an attempted murder, but it's just going to be an assault just so this person is no longer here.

And usually it's because they've lost a popularity contest. Oh, that guy's the dope man. Everybody owes him money. We need to smash him off the art. He's a piece of shit. That it's literally losing a popularity contest. So when I get to Tara Hut, I'm like, I'm just going to chill out.

I'm just going to relax. And you know what? The atmosphere is completely different. Yeah, there's drama and things, but it's not the same you know it's the most part they just want to do their time right right and it was a refreshing environment to be in because i've walked nothing but usp yards on my own every time i've had a problem and people are are trying to politic on me i just do the same thing like well you know where i live and you know i got the biggest knives in the unit it is what it is

i'll be in myself waiting for you guys and it usually comes of nothing you know But there's been plenty of times when, you know, I've had to stick up for myself and I don't expect anyone else to stick up for me. You know, it's my problem that I created. I need to deal with it. And there's been many times where I've told gang members, like, regardless of the race, it is what it is. If you have a problem with it, get some knives and a couple of your friends and come meet me and myself. And I learned real quick that when you have that type of attitude in a USP, most people are just going to leave you alone to do your time the way you want to do it because they think you're crazy. Right.

And it's not because I was crazy. It was a, I'm not going to get involved in gangs. I'm not going to allow somebody to dictate how I do my time or what I do while I'm doing my time. and I'm just going to stand on it. It is what it is. If it turns into me trying to kill a couple people that are trying to kill me, I mean, it is what it is. This is the life I chose. And that was my mentality at the time. After I was recovering from back surgery, my mother sent me a book called Light on Yoga by BKS. Iingar. And I had asked for a yoga book because I was recovering from back surgery. I was interested in learning. some stretches that would help me in the recovery process and I start reading this light on yoga book and I realize immediately that there are so many other benefits to yoga it massages your internal organs it realigns your body it resets different parts of your body that might have tension in them it there are spiritual applications to it where people

Yoga turns into a spiritual experience for people. Literally, the term yoga means to bind or yoke your will to the will of God. That is what its original meaning is in Sanskrit. Well, I show the book to one of my friends, and he introduces me to somebody that I've lived in the unit with for years that I've never really spoke to. And his name is Charles James, his nickname's Tank. and Tank was a leader in the vice lord's street gang and he had picked up a couple life sentences out of the state of Iowa. He was a state inmate and they had sent him to the feds because they couldn't control

him in the state. And I come to find out that he was a child prodigy in martial arts. He was actually supposed to be in the youth Olympics at one point in the 90s. um his original teachings were boxing and karate and things like that but when he started learning kung fu he wound up getting taken to china and he beat a master in wing chung with just the basics of wing chung that he had learned which is the style that was popularized by bruce lee whose teacher is it man they made all the it man movies out of it that's all based on the style of kung fu called wing chung and i told him

that I was interested in learning. And as I'm meeting this man and getting to learn more about him, I found out that he had been, after he beat that master in China, they invited him to the Shaolin Temple. And every school vacation and every opportunity he had after that, he would go back there every opportunity he had and just pick up more knowledge and more techniques.

And I started training with him. And it wasn't so much that I was training with him. I started training under him. You know, I told him I wanted to learn Wing Chung, and he goes, well, do you want to learn how to fight, or do you want to learn Kung Fu? Real Kung Fu, like the soul of Kung Fu. I'm like, I want to learn the soul. And he goes, you need to stand in the Yiji Kim Jong Ma stance for three hours a day for a month. That is the goat stance. It is the fundamental stance in Wing Chung, but it's literally a standing meditation. And I did that for hours a day for a month before I even learned the punch. or the other hands to go with the form or with the style this is also as i'm doing the yoga and now i'm incorporating meditation into all my practices because all every aspect of a yoga practice is a meditation every aspect of kung fu practice is a meditation standing in line at the store can be a meditation so in the process i'm not having to learn all these different

all these different lineages, styles, histories, all that. And just in learning the basics and mastering the basics of the Wing Chung and the basics of Tai Chi and being able to meld those styles together, coupled with the yoga and all the other meditation, it literally rewired my brain. It rewired the way I thought about things, the way I looked at people. it took away my anger um you know some of the most meaningful decisions and conclusions i've come to in my life have been in a state of meditation and there's not a doubt in my mind that if i hadn't spent my last five years in prison doing the the practices i was doing and mastering the things i was mastering and learning the things that i learned i would be dead or in prison right now there's not a doubt in my mind because I did not mentally the way I was thinking mentally was just

completely fucked up you know there was no justification for the things that I was doing in life and the decisions I had made up to that point you know and like I hear a lot of people say that they don't regret going to prison because it made them who they are you know and it's and it's always seems like a cop out you know like everybody regrets losing time I certainly regret losing time but I also am a firm believer in fate to a certain extent. Not the extent of like everything is predetermined. You don't have any say so. But like, I believe in seeing, reading more into things than you necessarily should, you know,

like I knew I got less time in prison than I deserved. And even when I was getting ready to get out, and people are like, man, you're getting out soon. What do you think? And I'm looking around. I'm like, this is how much my way of thinking had changed. I'm looking around. And I go, the worst part is there's a lot of people in here that are good people that are never going to get another chance to get out. I go, that's what I think when I'm getting out.

You know, my capacity to worry and care about someone else without being selfish and things like that. that changed and was gone, you know, like I wrote a book when I got out. It was, I published it as my father was in the hospital dying. It's called meditation exposed tips and tricks to implementing meditation into your daily life. And it talks about the history of meditation, ways that science has proven that prolonged periods of time change the brain, increases gray matter, increases critical thinking, skills. You know, it certainly calms you down. It can adjust, you can adjust your blood pressure. You can do all kinds of things with meditation. But I talk about the different ways people can use meditation. You know, it's not just sitting on a floor. It's not laying down.

It's not any one particular thing. There's a million different ways someone can meditate. You know, you can be standing in line at the grocery store and just go into a woo G stance, which is just a normal shoulder width stance. arms hanging out of the side, standing up straight, but your focal point is that posture and the way you're breathing. That is a meditation. You know, I spent hours every day practicing different stances that not only were they meditations, but they also fundamentally changed the way your body connects to the earth. You know, they have these certain stances called

circle stances where your hands are in like a circular position and they're at like a shoulder height and your feet are in like a horse stance and you hold that stance for prolonged periods of time and they call that welding the structure together and the way i describe it is like if you got a metal railing that goes up a staircase and then around like a catwalk and then it connects and goes back down to the other side of the stairs it's all welded together that entire structure if i stand at the bottom of the railing and i hit it with a hammer and you're standing upstairs all the way at the opposite end of the railing and you hold on to that railing

you will feel that vibration because that structure is welded together what those circumstances actually do is exercise every tendon in your body from your toes to your fingers to your eyeballs all the tendons in your body are connected so once you've stood like that long enough and you've aligned your body properly

and you're in the right meditative state is when you finally actually develop up that chief flow that you hear about that a lot of people think is fake and some people know it's real because they've gone through the process, you know, but when it comes to things like martial arts and stuff like that, it really is about the personal experience. So that's that example you gave just now. Did you come up with that? You mean the welding the structure together one? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I was going to say that's a good, it's a good example. I mean, not just for that, but just for for lots of things, you know,

Like, I was going to say, like, do you ever hear, you know, who Jordan Peterson is? No. Well, he's a, he's a professor at a couple of universities in Canada, and he does different talks. And it's funny, he mentions, like, he talks about, like, you know, if you, you want to be successful in life, you want to do this. Like, people will say, you know, how do I get what I want out of life and be successful? And, you know, he says, like, he's like, well, you know, start making your bed in the mind. morning, you know, clean up your room, start there. And it's like, and people are like, we'll go, how does that have anything to do with me being better at my job? And he's like, but the, the point is

is that if you've kind of followed, read one of his books, it's like that basic fundamental change in that one small thing, you know, reverberates throughout your entire life. So that turns into a habit and then you start doing then you start cleaning your room then you start folding your clothes on time and putting things up and doing that before you know it you're doing all the things at work that you're supposed to do maybe to get a better promotion or maybe to get another job or maybe it's these little fundamental changes in your behavior at the at the basic level that you know travel throughout your entire life and change everything just by that one you know because you can't start at the top no you know you've got to start

down here and it reverberate throughout your entire life and before you know it you're getting a master's degree so you can get the job that you want so that you can get the top position so you can make the money that you want you're better to your family you're better to your kids you're better you're better you know your friendships are better your and sometimes it means removing friends from your life people that aren't good for you people that don't care about you mean but i'm saying I love that example. That's a great example of hitting that one small being and it just boom, goes throughout the whole thing.

And you're right. If you're standing at the top, you can feel it. Like it changed. There's no way you're not going to feel that. Right. And that's where the standing meditations like that translate into the Kung Fu with the energy because the energy in Kung Fu comes from the ground and your skeletal structure. If your skeletal structure is aligned properly, you're going to be able to make the energy go from your feet all the way up into your hands the way it's supposed to.

It's going to be the most effortless way of defending yourself, and it's going to be the most stable way. When you're connected to the earth properly and your stances are right, it doesn't matter if you're on one foot or not, you already have more training than 99% of the people out there. I was looking at Kung Fu originally as a way to hurt people easier because I was getting older. That was my goal is how to hurt people. And in the end, I come full circle to the point where I have no desire to hurt anyone. But not only that, my training teaches me that I can't use what I know unless I'm being attacked or somebody I care about is being attacked or someone's destroying my property light until I'm actually being attacked. I can't use what I know because, number one, I've always kind of believed in a fundamental fairness when it comes to fights, but also because I don't know, that's just the way they train you.

So when they train you like that, you're just kind of stuck with it, you know, like I've done so much meditation and breathing exercises that it doesn't matter what happens, what sort of chaos I'm going through. The first thing my body does without me having to think about it is take a deep breath. I don't even have to think about it. It just happens. you know i don't i don't lose my cool and lose my temper anymore it's it's just not possible and one of the beautiful things about it was in the process i wound up doing a pretty broad

study on theology and what i really liked about the taoists that i can really relate to is that their fundamental belief system is you're born you're pure everything about your life is pure. As you grow older, things happen to you in life that condition you to behave and react and live in different ways. And the only way to revert back to that childlike innocence is through the golden elixir. And the golden elixir is literally meditation. Meditation will refine out all the garbage you've been through you know they have things like buddhist buddhist psychology which is literally you are you go see somebody that's trained in buddhist psychology and they walk you through meditative processes to help you deal with

the garbage you've been through and you know that's really why i wrote the book i wanted to find i wanted to reach people in a way that could show them there's a million different ways that you can meditate and that you can implement it into your life and it doesn't have to be a oh it's five o'clock i need to go meditate for 45 minutes it could be something you turn into your 45 minute car ride to work every day you know you you figure out a meditation that works sitting in the car while driving that ultimately can help you rewire your brain and your thought process or maybe some of the trauma you've been through or whatever you know but that's that's really why i wrote that book and it was one of those books that had to be written like i couldn't do anything it took me

two weeks to write it it's 166 pages it's a ebook it's on and thanks to you it's on paperback and hardcover now as well um but uh i it took me two weeks to write it and i've always been a fast typer i was one of those guys in prison that was always like, hey, man, I'll give you a couple stamps. Type this email for me real quick. All right, what do you want to type? Oh, just read it. No, just speak. I'll type as you talk. Right. You know, but go ahead. When you, did you get a copy of the hardcover? I mean, or of the, so you got it on soft cover and hardcover. Did you get a copy? I ordered two copies. I had one sent to my mother. And I had the other one sent to me. I'm still waiting on mine. She got her heart cover yesterday. I just ordered it Friday.

Yeah, yeah. It comes right over. I wasn't going to say, did you get the sample copy or? No, I just bought one. Okay, because, you know, what they'll let you do is like before you publish it, they'll let you order, I think up to like five sample copies. It says sample on it, but it's only like three or four bucks. So you get it, like they'll mail it out right away. Well, you'll get it very quickly within a day or two. And you get it. And that way you can read through it to make sure everything's lined up and looks right. And then you can make any changes and order another sample copy. And then, of course, once you're happy with it, then you can publish it.

And you could also order author copies. So you. Yeah, that's what I ordered was author copies because I think it cost me like, I think it cost me like 15 bucks for a hard cover and a soft cover for author copies with shipping and handling and everything. Yeah, I was going to say, but then, you know, you can put it up on the, on, you know, you put it up for 15 or 20 bucks, you know, so yeah, I always order author copies and, you know, because people ask me for signed copies and stuff. So I'll sign a copy and mail it to them. But, yeah, that's good. That's good. I don't have any hard covers. All mine are soft covers. I need to do the hard cover. I need to do the hard cover. Yeah, it's just like a, why, why do I have? have to redesign everything every time like why can't it just be yeah yeah just do like that for

the other ones i know every every yeah every cover is different yeah well it actually helped out that you put me onto that because it like i told you i was waiting for my PO to come when we were talking on the phone last week well when she came i i between me talking to you and her coming i got on kDP to try to start the process with the paperbacks and the hardcover and i realized i no longer have a pdf version of my book what would you erase it i had scrubbed my chrome book because it wasn't running right and i had forgot about it because i was thinking it was saved under google docs i don't know where it went on google docs it disappeared because i wrote on google docs and then made a PDF save as PDF and said saved it like that.

Well, my PO had showed up. She had had COVID last year, and I had sent her a PDF copy of my book. So she was able to send it back to me. Oh, nice. Yeah. No. All right. Good times.

Yeah. So, all right. So what's going on now? Do you have anything else? I mean, right now I work full time. I'm a cook. I'm trying to save up so I can open a tattoo shop. You know, I can probably open a tattoo shop with five grand,

but I think I'm going to wait and spend like 15 or 20 when I do it so I can really do it right. Well, and it would be nice to have, you know, some reserves in case, you know, it takes a little bit to take off or something. Yeah, that's definitely what I wanted to get into, you know. But it's a process. Like, it's been two and a half years and I'm still living paycheck to paycheck because it's always something. There's a car repair or a car accident. I've had two car accidents since I've been out.

I totaled a 2012 infinity. Oh, this is a good story for you. This is a quick one. In October, I get my first auto loan and I get a 2012 infinity G25X. Now I am fully self-employed doing Uber, Lyft, and DoorDash. Don't have a boss. Loving it. I get in a car accident January 30th.

Couldn't even tell you how the car accident it happened it was it was that quick i i think both of us were too close to the double yellow lines and we just brushed up against each other but it was enough to pop the front tire do some damage to the front quarter panel the the driver's side door didn't want to open right airbags went off all that this is the same day that i've taken my drug class and done my appointments with my provider for my drug therapy so i've already got like two and a half hours of drug therapy stuff that i had to do for the month under my belt i'm driving around doing uber it's 1 30 in the afternoon when the accident happens this cop shows up proceeds to do a field sobriety test on me he hasn't searched me

he hasn't searched my vehicle. I don't use drugs. I don't drink and drive. I don't know what he's looking for. But I forgot to tell him about my back injury before he asked me if I have any physical limitations. Because I didn't realize I was about to go through a field sobriety test. Well, now he's telling me to stand on one leg. He's telling me to stand with my feet together.

And I'm trying to explain to him like, I can't physically stand with my feet perfectly together. this. I can't do that. My knees touch. It makes me, in order for me to lock my legs like that, it just doesn't work for the way my body's built. Right. And then he wants me to stand on one leg. Well, I go into Golden Rooster stands on one leg, which looks nothing like the way he wants me to stand on one leg. Golden Rooster stands on one leg is a Tai Chi stance. Yeah. It's like the, you're like this, one hand like this, your knee, the knee below it's, uh, Up. So you got one knee at like a 90 degree angle and one hand up and you're balanced. And it's a meditation. You hold that for like five minutes on each leg as part of your stance practice. I do that to prove that I'm perfectly balanced and I'm not on drugs. As soon as I put my leg down here, rest to me for OUI. Take me to the station, do another field sobriety test. They refuse a urine sample that I offered them.

take my blood work, find out that it's 90 days for it to come back from the state lab. The only thing I have in my system is Suboxin that's prescribed to me. So then I had to, I get out on bail. I have to tell my PO, fortunately, me and my PO have a good working relationship. You know, she knows I'm very honest and forthcoming and that I don't do drugs. Plus, I pissed in a cup for her the next day after my arrest and there was no opiates in it. That was the best part. They said I was on opiates.

I haven't done an opiate in 10 years. I couldn't even tell you where to buy an opiate in this town. When my father died, I took all the narcotics and put all the liquids in coffee grounds, crushed up the pills and put all the pills in the coffee grounds like they told me to and threw the coffee grounds out. So then I go to my arraignment. The charges get thrown out because the lab work still isn't back. And now I'm going to court next week for a reconsideration hearing because I want to drop.

with prejudice. I don't want this dropped without prejudice so they can come back and be like, he had Suboxin in a system, we want to press charges. Right. You know, and I actually had to go to my place where I get my suboxone, take my medication in front of them,

and then sit there for two hours or three hours while they observed me to make sure I wasn't like nodding out in my chair and stuff. It was not a good experience, to say the least. Okay. well you do have some just one thing after uh um yeah well i mean hopefully that works out well oh i know it will i know what's in my system and what isn't in my system i know i'll be all said i'll know you uh um all right are we good all right yeah i'll um once again the book is

meditation exposed by p james mckeen and i'll send you the link for it i was going to say yeah send me the link for it. We'll put it in the description. All right. So people just go to the description box and click on it. Hey, I appreciate you guys watching. If you like the video, do me a favor. Hit the subscribe button so you get, or once you're subscribed. And hit the, hit the bell so you get notified of videos like this.

Also, leave me a comment in the comment section. Share the video, if you so desire. And do me a favor. And I wrote a bunch of true crime books while I was incarcerated, including my memoir. So do me a favor and check out the trailers. Using forgeries and bogus identities, Matthew B. Cox, one of the most ingenious comment in history, built America's biggest banks out of millions. Despite numerous encounters with bank security, state, and federal authorities, Cox narrowly and quite luckily, avoided capture for years. Eventually, he topped the U.S. Secret Services most.

wanted list and led the U.S. Marshals, FBI, and Secret Service on a three-year chase, while jet-setting around the world with his attractive female accomplices. Cox has been declared one of the most prolific mortgage fraud con artists of all time by CNBC's American Greene. Bloomberg Business Week called him the mortgage industry's worst nightmare, while Dateline NBC described Cox as a gifted forger and silver-tongued. liar. Playboy magazine proclaimed his scam was real estate fraud, and he was the best. Shark in the housing pool is Cox's exhilarating first-person account of his stranger than fiction story. Available now on Amazon and Audible. Bent is the story of John J. Boziak's phenomenal

life of crime. Inked from head to toe, with an addiction to strippers and fast Cadillacs, Boziak was not your typical computer geek. He was, however, one of the most cunning scammers, counterfeiters, identity thieves, and escape artists alive, and a major thorn in the side of the U.S. Secret Service as they fought a war on cybercrime. With a savant-like ability to circumvent banking security and stay one step ahead of law enforcement,

Boziac made millions of dollars in the international cyber underworld with the help of the Chinese and the Russians. Then, leaving nothing but a John Doe warrant and a cleaned-out bank account in his wake, he vanished. Boziak's stranger-than-fiction tale of ingenious scams and impossible escapes, of brazen run-ins with the law and secret desires to straighten out and settle down, makes his story a true crime con game that will keep you guessing. Bent. How a Homeless Teen became one of the cybercrime industry's most prolific counterfeiters.

Available now on Amazon and Audible. Buried by the U.S. government and ignored by the national media, this is the story they don't want you to know. When Frank Amadeo met with President George W. Bush at the White House to discuss NATO operations in Afghanistan, no one knew that he'd already embezzled nearly $200 million from the federal government, money he intended to use to bankroll his plan to take over the world. From Amadeo's global headquarters in the shadow of Florida's Disney World,

With a nearly inexhaustible supply of the Internal Revenue Services funds, Amadeo acquired multiple businesses, amassing a mega conglomerate. Driven by his delusions of world conquest, he negotiated the purchase of a squadron of American fighter jets and the controlling interest in a former Soviet ICBM factory. He began working to build the largest private militia on the planet, over one million Africans strong. Simultaneously, Amadeo hired an international black-ops force to orchestrate a coup in the Congo while plotting to take over several small Eastern European countries. The most disturbing part of it all is, had the U.S. government not thwarted his plans, he might have just pulled it off. It's insanity.

The bizarre, true story of a bipolar megalomaniac's insane plan for total world domination. Available now on Amazon and Audible. Pierre Rossini, in the 1990s, was a 20-something-year-old Los Angeles-based drug trafficker of ecstasy and ice. He and his associates drove luxury European supercars, lived in Beverly Hills penthouses, and dated Playboy models while dodging federal indictments. Then, two FBI officers with the organized crime drug enforcement task force entered the picture. Dirty agents willing to fix cases and identify. identify informants. Suddenly, two of Racini's associates, confidential informants, working with federal law enforcement, or murdered, everyone pointed to Resini.

As his co-defendants prepared for trial, U.S. Attorney Robert Mueller sat down to debrief Racine at Leavenworth Penitentiary, and another story emerged. A tale of FBI corruption and complicity in murder. You see, Pierre Racini knew something that no one else knew. the truth. And Robert Miller and the federal government have been covering it up to this very day. Devil Exposed. A twisted tale of drug trafficking, corruption, and murder in the city of angels. Available on Amazon and Audible. Bailout is a psychological true crime thriller that pits a narcissistic con man against an egotistical, pathological liar. Marcus Schrenker, the money manager who attempted to fake his own death, during the 2008 financial crisis,

is about to be released from prison, and he's ready to talk. He's ready to tell you the story no one's heard. Shrinker sits down with true crime writer, Matthew B. Cox, a fellow inmate serving time for bank fraud. Shinker lays out the details, the disgruntled clients who persecuted him for unanticipated market losses,

the affair that ruined his marriage, and the treachery of his scorned wife, the woman who framed him for securities fraud, leaving him no choice but to make a bogus distress call and plunge from his multi-million-dollar private aircraft in the dead of night. The $11.1 million in life insurance. The missing $1.5 million in gold. The fact is, Shrinker wants you to think he's innocent. The problem is, Cox knows Shrinker's a pathological liar and his stories of fabrication.

As Cox subtly coaxes, cajoles, and yes, Kahn Shrinker into revealing his deceptions, his stranger than fiction life of lies slowly unravels. This is the story Shrinker didn't want you to know. Bailout, the life and lies of Marcus Shrinker, available now on Barnes & Noble, Etsy, and Audible. Matthew B. Cox is a conman, incarcerated in the Federal Bureau of Prisons for a variety of bank fraud-related scams.

Despite not having a drug problem, Cox inexplicably ends up in the prisons residential drug abuse program known as Ardap. A drug program in name only. Ardap is an invasive behavior modification therapy, specifically designed to correct the cognitive thinking errors associated with criminal behavior. The program is a non-fiction dark comedy which chronicles Cox's side-splitting journey. This first-person account is a fascinating glimpse at their survival-like atmosphere inside of the government-sponsored rehabilitation unit.

While navigating the treachery of his backstabbing peers, Cox simultaneously manipulates prison policies and the bumbling staff every step of the way. The program, how a conman survived the Federal Bureau of Prisons cult of Ardap. Available now on Amazon and Audible. If you saw anything you like, links to all the books are in the description box.