Matthew Cox | Inside True Crime Podcast - Beating PTSD, Biden Taxes, and Mental Toughness | Trevor Blaszczyk

Episode Date: May 21, 2023

Beating PTSD, Biden Taxes, and Mental Toughness | Trevor Blaszczyk

So what got me to that point is, like I said, we were all alcoholics. I got home from the gym one day and pulled in my garage. My gun was by my side and looked at the house that I lived in with my ex-wife. I'm getting med-boarded out of the military. My family just showed up last month for the first time they seen my house. I've got my whole life set up. Look at this nice house. Look at my nice car.

Look at everything. My life is set. A month later, I'm getting discharged. So I held a gun to my head. Called my brother. I don't want to say I regret. I should not have put him in that situation. but I had no one else to call.

And in the end of, you know, he saved my life. Right. Hey, this is Matt Cox, and I'm here with Trevor Blazick. And we are going to be talking about basically his life, his channel, and what led up to it. So it's an interesting story. Check this out. We ended up meeting each other, like, in the gym, right? Yeah.

And so you're coming on the channel, and you started a channel, what, six months ago? Yeah, around about six months ago. I moved back home and then back to Florida after the military and started, yeah, mental health podcast with my... Were you born in Florida? No, so, yeah, I was born in Chicago, was raised there for 17 years, and then I was raised by my grandmother, so I got a tattoo and everything. She passed away, 2013, and we moved after that.

So I moved to Florida, my senior year of high school, graduated down there. road from here um okay and then got another gym experience my brother was walking into the gym and the recruiter asked him if he'd want to join no how old were you i was 18 okay just graduated and my brother was walking in said no i don't want to join but here's my brother's number and the recruiter called me and said yeah sure why not and ended up just joined did you had you thought about joining the military uh yeah so all growing up my grandma was like oh look at this marines commercial i would be sitting there as a kid and it'd be like a cool like yeah like you might want to think about that. Like, look at these badass Marines jumping off and these cool commercials. And I knew

my brothers weren't going to do it. Not going to let my sister do it. And then I ended up going. Nobody has to do it. Nobody had to do it. No, right. Nobody had. I mean, somebody has to do it. But it's not like they're saying, hey, we need at least one person per family. There's five of you. One of the five of you has to. I mean, come on. There's four kids in a family, three men. And my grandpa actually was in the Navy for a little bit. So I was like, I've, I've, I've, I've, feel like I should do something. Right. So, yeah, I ended up doing the Army just because personal reasons.

And I actually just told the recruiter, look, I just want to work on helicopters. So here's 10 different jobs I'd like to do. And he called me the next morning saying, hey, we got one for helicopter engines for a 20 grand signing bonus if you get here like now. Get out of here. I ran downstairs. I was like, Mom, you're saying like, right now if I sign up, I get 20 grand. And you'd already taken the test? Yeah.

Because like when you walk in the door, they say, okay. Okay, first thing you had to do is, like, take the test. Yeah, yeah, and so I took the test, and I initially wanted to be a combat engineer, and it sounds so cool. They make all these fancy names. So I was just a helicopter engine mechanic, but it's like aircraft power plant repairman. So, like, as a kid, you're like, ooh, what is this? And so you just join thinking it's so badass.

But I want to be a combat engineer, but that's just the guy putting bombs down on the field, making bridges for the infantry men to walk across or whatever it is. So you're in the front line. And my recruiter who was a sniper It still sounds kind of cool Yeah, but it's not the flashy job And someone who gets a higher score And who's smarter, you're not going to want to do that

So I was just watching Lex Freeman He was saying the people in Ukraine No matter what they are, the men are just going to fight Lawyer, doctor, whatever it is, everyone's going to fight You don't want to do that though No, you don't want the person who's smart And you want them in the back Yeah, yeah well somebody

You send someone out there who's smart And ends up dying Now you got no one to fix your helicopter engine Right, right. So my recruiter was like, dude, I can't let you just pick that. I was going to say, I was going to say the scores also, like, you know, if you score higher, like the highest, I think, is, is it the Air Force? I don't even remember to be honest. Air Force are the smartest, yes.

Yeah, because you're talking about aeronautics, you know, flying, you're talking about, like, you need, you've got to know some stuff. Yeah, yeah. And there's a lot more schooling involved, too. Yeah, and it's each, you know, if you want to be like a nuclear engineer or whatever it is, they all got submarines. It's like 120 as VAB score. I don't know the correlation to your actual IQ or anything or whatever. I had a buddy who was in the, well, I went to school with the guy that was in the, in the Army, but he ended up go, but he scored really high, but for some reason he just wanted to go to the Army.

And he went to the Army and he ended up in military intelligence in the Army. Yeah. Well, a lot of the reason is because, like, in the Navy, I believe it's the Navy, you choose your career field and they choose your job. and the Air Force No, I'm sorry The Air Force, that's what happens You choose their career field And they're like, here you go, you're working this

The Army, you get to choose your exact job So mine was between the Air Force and the Army Because I didn't care, I just wanted to work on helicopters So it could have worked, I could have just walked in And said, let me work on helicopters Right Army had a better helicopter unit, Unit, so went over the Army

And actually was able to pick the actual job I got And then through that, got very lucky. It's called DA Selected. So I was actually going to end up in Korea. They saw my score, my ASVAP score, and they saw my PT test. And I'm like, look, we're not going to just send you to Korea. We have special ops. So I wanted to put my packet in. I called my mom like, hey, I was thinking about putting my packet in. Called my fiance at the time. Hey, and the packet is just all my information so they can choose me. But the recruiter said it's a little more dangerous. I'll be doing more things. I go overseas more often. Of course, to my mom, she's like,

what are you crazy? No, he'll know. You'll be gone for longer. Yeah, exactly. No, there's actually shorter stretches. So that was the catch is you're gone more often, but shorter stretches. So I was able to get three-month deployments instead of nine. Okay. Very lucky. Rather prefer that, but even still then, a marriage. Marriage will not last that. So yeah, I got very lucky. They picked me out of the hat. Hey, you're going over to Tennessee. So it's another part of training. for special operations that I had to do after that went right into my job and that's when I met my co-host to my podcast my leader Kevin Daylor Kevin shout out to Kevin he he watched me from 19 to basically who I am now so he saw the little annoying kid coming in from high school

saw me with the wife so he could even see like he could see what was going on like from a distance he was just watching me as a person and he's just i don't know just to hear him talk about it now is just really cool because he looks at me because and saw all the potential in me right he saw i was getting dragged down and dragged down and dragged down and dragged down so then eventually um i get trained up i end up going overseas um in 20 is 2019 go overseas to iraq for the first time meet the best people I've ever met in my life one's actually my um sister's fiancee now i ended up we went over there would you set them up yeah yeah no it's the crazy story it's a crazy story um big jack dude everyone wanted to work out with them we're all sleeping like right next to each

other the gym's right there so we got nothing else to do except work out and they're like and they're like Brian, please come work out with me. For some reason, he chose me. Just another weird thing. Chose me to work out with him. Go to work out with him. And then we ended up having to move from Iraq to Afghanistan. And, yeah, I think it's still 2019.

And we picked up literally everything we had there, all the helicopters. We tore the helicopters down, put them in a big airplane, flew him over to Afghanistan. And then when I showed up in Afghanistan, my fiance at the time said, hey, I just got the ninth bridesmaid for my wedding nine so i needed to find another person another man so i needed a ninth groomsman up there and i just looked to my roommate and say hey man would you want to you know split the suit with you if you can just show up so he said yeah split the suit with them and um yeah he met my sister and now they're getting married in september nice so just another crazy thing but yeah while i was over um over in iraq um the biggest thing to do in any military town there's

going to be about two two bars two three bars i don't think of iraq as a military or no no i'm sorry yeah this is i'm sorry yeah this is this isn't clarksville i'm sorry clarksville Tennessee so the only really thing to do and this is why there's a huge alcoholic problem in the military is you get off of work and everyone in the military thinks you just go drink we can all just go drink who cares let it loose and there's two three bars in every town near the military bases and most military bases have a little ghetto near them so we had a great great little bar we all went to it was a little um it's a line dancing bar and my my fiancee loved that so she was there all the time was she in the military no she was not i brought her i brought her up from here actually

i met her down here and um yeah um shoot where was i go You were in the bar, line dancing. So line dancing, yeah. So we didn't have a problem. I bring all my friends. We'd go line dancing, and she knew all the people at the bar. So she was the person to know at the bar because she can line dance. This is new to me because I didn't go to bars or anything.

So everybody knew her, and she would dance with everybody. And I didn't see it as a problem. You just go ahead. It's just dancing. I don't care. You come dance with me. You dance with them, whatever. And then I started bringing all my friends.

So all my friends would come. She would bring her friends. We'd all meet up here. And then when I left to go to Afghanistan, all my friends were still going. And then they would run into her or they'd go together. Are you married at this point? Yes. So we're married.

Yeah, we're already married. And then so just overseas one day. Where were you stationed? Sorry, at this point. This was Clarksville, Tennessee. No, where were you stationed in? Were you in Afghanistan at this point? So at this point when they're all going out, I was in.

It's hard because it was happening both times, both deployments. So I was in Iraq at one of the times. So the first year I went for a deployment. My first deployment ever, I went overseas, and there was just some hiccups. I knew she was going to the bar without me and all that, and I just felt uneasy. It's intuition. You can just feel something's not. And I think you mentioned that on like your whatever one I just watched, you mentioned that.

The same thing. Well, I mean, I think people a lot of time, even when people, when it's fraud or something like, you know, you go in like a lot of times like, you know, the teller or the manager or the broker where it'll feel like something's not right they can't everything's right but something's wrong and I always use the same excuse as it's the same thing as like every woman or man that's being cheated on

knows it internally before nothing's changed she came home at the right time she answered all my texts everything was going along and then whenever you talk to these people You know, you could, but you felt like it. You started asking more questions, this and that.

What's wrong? What's happening? What's, and when you look back, you're like, well, what was it? I don't know. I just knew something was wrong. How? I don't know. I was wrong.

Yeah. I was just sitting there and just felt something up. Yeah. Or if she wasn't, so what really ended up drawing the straw, so the first deployment, she was going out and doing that. There was a year in between my deployment. So it was a summer in 2019 and summer in 2022. So the first summer,

I came back home for that year I wanted to work on the relationship get it all to going and was making more friends trying to just heal my life back up and you know and we talked about a little bit look I don't want you going out without me

you know this is what I'd like to do and this is what I see happening if we don't do it and then I went overseas again this time but you're sending you are you sitting here does she have a job she does she has a job

but are you contributing to like you're sending your checks back or are you paying i'm paying yeah i'm paying everything really and she just she gets her money you know yeah yeah you're right we were sharing bank accounts and she just spent all the money basically and i i mean i mean i rack i'm right what am i going to spend it on right well your money is our money her money yeah right yeah exactly right didn't we just hear that we're just they get them some girl was like yeah you know our money is our money you know my money is my money it's like, really? And you think that sounds right?

And there's girls like, yeah, well, no, that's right. No, is it? Just not fair. I don't feel like it's right. Just not fair. Because, you know, to me it's like, look, it's kind of like, it's, it's like saying, look, you're gone nine months. She's what, 20 some, 22, 22, 23? Yeah, she's a year, she was a year older than me.

Okay, so she's 20, what, 23, 23, 22 to 20? Right. So, I mean, that for a 22 year old who's going. out who's attractive who has a bunch of friends yeah you're gone for nine months look i i you know to me it's almost like look it's it's almost forgivable because i get it it's a strenuous time the guy's gone yeah yeah but you couple in the fact that i'm also paying all of your bills like the house every right like i'm now i'm starting to get starting to be no i can't it's starting to get unforgivable yeah exactly i want i'm rooting for you i want to forgive you but damn

You could have left me with some money. Well, the biggest thing is, because I was, I don't really want to say, like, sheltered as a child, but I wasn't really exposed to the world as much. I grew up in the South Sobers of Chicago, right next to Chicago Heights, like literally crossed the street, right next to Gary, Indiana, right next to Harvey. So all these bad places. And I just, I wasn't really exposed, I guess. But you weren't running the streets.

No, I wasn't doing anything crazy. I went to school, went home, worked, went. to hockey, came home. Never was involved with girls, really. I was annoying little kids. Right. Never was really involved. So this was like my real first experience with a, like a fall in love. Fall in love. And in the army, it's you double your pay if you get married. Double your pay will give you a house pretty much. This is how it goes. If you double your pay, you get BAH now. You get basic housing allowance, basic supply allowance of food. So you're doubling your pay. Why would you not do it? I found that a nice attractive girl.

from Florida. I could double my pay. We can move into a house in Tennessee. We're living a dream until I'm over in Iraq and I'm like, hey, you went out again. You didn't respond to my phone call. You didn't respond to my text. What happened? I'm sorry, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, we went out. So, okay, this cannot happen again. This was on like a Friday or whatever it was. This cannot happen again. She's okay, it won't happen again, blah, blah, blah. So for that, like, the next two days while I'm overseas I'm texting her like look this is what we need to do to save this relationship right this this this this is what I think and while I'm over here you need to be doing this next week on a Saturday she's supposed to be working gets off at noon

and um I text her she was texting me back and then from noon all the way until the next morning I got nothing no text no call no nothing and I'm overseas and Iraq like you should be attentive to me so why am I not getting anything how hard is it to maintain at least the illusion that you're faithful like it's like like put some effort like the guy that you're screwing around with like like is he saying no don't text him don't text him motherfucker you're the side dude like I got to text this guy like you're just somebody you're just keeping my you're just person I'm spending some time with like go fuck yourself you know yeah at least make this guy think that things are still good and I'm a decent human being

like give me a chance here but that this was the straw that that really made me think that something was really up because and for that full year the first year when I was in Afghanistan I you know I was calling my mom I was I was a kid I didn't know what to do yeah no it's scary please help me out what do I do so I'm crying on the phone in the middle of Afghanistan to my mom and then can't prove anything she won't admit to anything of course and I just I just felt like look if I don't give it my all one more time because she won't admit it. I have a gut feeling. If my gut feeling's wrong, I feel like shit. Right. So let me give it one mile one more time. So that's when I spent that whole year with her.

And then I didn't get a call back for that whole day. At 5 a.m. on a Sunday, I call Kevin, the co-host of my podcast, and I said, Kevin, you're the only one I know that it's up at 5 a.m. on a Sunday. I know you're about to go running right down the street from my house. Can you please stop by my house and see if there's any car in the driveway? I just have a weird feeling. There should only be one car white equinox and that's it right if anything because the garage is open she could park in there right he drives by and there's a white jeep in my driveway you you know you have a buddy with a white jeep i know exactly who's white jeep it is so i i said you know what kevin i don't really know what to do why don't i hang up and i'll call her on face time let me just try a facetamer face timer a couple

times three four times no answer two minutes go by so i call kevin again you didn't call your buddy i called him again no no i meant like the guy with the jeep no no i thought i wish i man i wish i would have but i this is why i ended i tried calling him after the fact i should have called him first instead of her right but i knew she was just as guilty because she just did this last year so either both parties are guilty and i that i didn't care whose fault it was yeah yeah you know and then um yeah kevin goes just goes right down the block parks in the school just to come right back like five minutes later. So when she's not answering, I'm like, Kevin, are you sure, dude? And now I'm doubting my best friend ever. Like, I'm doubting him. Like, he's telling me there's not

a car in my driveway. I'm like, dude, you got to take a picture or something. I don't believe you. Like, this is completely unbelievable. So he takes a picture and sends it over to me. I get a picture of a dude's Jeep in my driveway while I'm in Iraq. And he's just like, dude, I'm not lying to you. Like, I can't place the Jeep here. So after two minutes, she facetimes me back. He's like, what, what's going on? What's wrong? I said, don't say anything. Go downstairs, go outside, and show me whose car is in the driveway. She's like, what are you talking about? He said, just go downstairs. I don't care. Good morning. Good morning. Go downstairs and open

the door, see who's in the driveway. I said, no one's in the driveway. I was like, okay, no one's in the driveway. Then it should be a problem. Pan around the room then. If no one's in the room, then no one should be in your room either. Pan around the room. What are you talking about? No one's in the room. Look, even in the closet. It's like, why would you show me the closet she goes downstairs opens the door the car is gone the jeep is gone he's gone my friend's like what the fuck where'd he go because my friend didn't see him leave he's gone man completely gone and i'm texting texting the dude why have you not why you're not answering my phone what are you doing at my house while i'm overseas what's going on 30 minutes go by he texting me back

and she texts me back so now they got a story together look he was here dropping me off last night because one of the dudes was too drunk to drive, the other dude had to drive, oh, just a whole bunch of bullshit. Oh, why were you there that early in the morning then? Well, we were dropping her off last night, and then I had to come back in the morning because I went and took a piss in your bushes, or someone else took a piss in your bushes and they think they dropped their keys in your lawn. This is a great story.

Unbelievable. Someone, someone, pissed in my bushes while I'm overseas. and then drop the keys there. So you've got to come back after a night out on Saturday at 5 a.m. to pick up the keys. Hmm. Yeah. And she didn't answer the phone all day.

Like, were you in the hospital? Were your service shut off? Crazy as shit, man. So that was just one dude. The other dude, we get in. They're still living together now. They're over and wherever, fuck, living happily ever after her, whatever it is. But that dude ended up.

he was a good friend of mine good good friend we need to talk about your definition I should say more of an acquaintance he was at the bars along with me and my friends

right right I never really like associate or like come over let's hang out really right this the second guy though I did I was friends played Xbox there all that stuff you know let's go running or whatever it is

we were friends and this guy completely lied to my face after i got home after she moved out and i had him over at my house with all my buddies so balzy move on his hand to even come right because we you should have already know we're suspicious he comes over and i just shake his hand because he's about to leave shake his hand hey man anything ever happened right just because i've always had a weird vibe between their little connection and then even my sister when she'd come up she noticed it so i was like Hey man did anything ever happen so what are you talking about no no no okay man I just wanted to make

sure mind you this guy works with us he works in the gun room the arms room so we have to go to him to get our guns to go overseas and shit so we still have to interact with him and he has to come to us to interact with us at work like in the military post at work so he never talks to anyone in my shop ever again right after this moment so for about a year he's coming in like hey guys I need some help won't talk to anybody because he can't right he knows everybody's got my back right so can't talk to anybody and now now yeah him and her end up going live doing their thing she moves out she um and he's still in the military he still he was still in the military at this time yes so he's he's out now but she ends up moving out get in her own place I'm doing my own thing I'm a single man for

about six months I'm playing hockey like every day in Nashville as much as I can so I get off work go play at 9 p.m. come back. She said, hey, why don't you come over after hockey? This is we're divorced. Six months has gone by. Why don't you come over after hockey? I'm like, this is weird. I'm just trying to figure.

What the hell's going on? Come over because I'm a dude. And of course, why would I not? I just had a long, great hockey game. Right. Had a couple beers, you know, it's hockey. And then walk up. She said, just walk in, come upstairs, do your thing.

I walk in, go upstairs. in the first room there's shit in there i'm like who shit is this it's a whole it's like a furnace room in here with an x-box so i walk into her room i'm like who's shit is in the other room like you're you didn't tell me you were living with anyone oh that's thomas's said what he's living with you yeah he just lives in the other room so you never told me this shit come to find out i end up leaving i just get up a walk out i go home the next day because he works with me i can see where he's that, if he's over in Georgia or wherever, he's overseas. So he's overseas, she invites you over.

She gets me to come over. And then I call, I'm like, so. She's got a little, a little, it's a little, like a little merry-go-round of people. As they're deployed, it's like, damn, he's gone for six months. Okay, you're up. Yeah. And this is, this is not abnormal. Like, I wish I could say this isn't a normal thing to be happening in the military.

This happens way more often than not. Right. Way more often than not. And it's, it's completely brutal, and that's why we have a 22 a day suicide rate. That's the veteran suicide, 22 veterans. People a day? 22 veterans. A day.

So these people, people that are active military? Veterans. Just people that have been in the military. I want to say, yeah, they're affiliated with the military, yeah. 22 a day. Right? Doesn't it seem excessive? That's brutal.

Because you got to think, you're giving people with all, you know, the 19-year-old kids. kids. Yeah. So they're in their adolescence. You're teaching them everything. So I learned everything from the military. Right. And now I'm coming home to my parents who think they raised me.

You know, we raised them to 19. Now they have no idea who I am because I went overseas twice. I was trained by the military and my adolescence. So like right when I'm getting ready to become part of society. So now all I'm thinking about is how the military tell me what, what do I got to do at the gym for someone, you know, like even walking up to you, I'm like, if I walk up to him about behind him what's going to happen to me. I've got to find a time to go to him to where I'm not threatened, where I know nothing's

going to happen to me at least. And that's just at the gym. Yeah. Yeah, I'm harmless. But yeah, I hear you know. That was just, that was in my head. I don't want anything. No, like I've dated a couple of girls.

It's funny, you say Clarksville. Yeah, Clarkville, yeah. So I made like a fake bank one time and it was called Southern Exchange Bank of Clarksville. Nice. And it was because I was living in. Tennessee and my girlfriend at the time had had just gotten out of the military and she was living in Clarksville. That's where I met this, this chick I started dating her. And, you know, I was in Tennessee. I was in Nashville. That's where I lived there for like a year and a half. But, but it's, yeah, it's like her,

same thing. Jess also was in the military. Like, you know, like, you know how it is. They teach you how to how to pack your clothes. Yep. They teach you how to make your bed. And I mean, like, and both of them saying, dude, boom, boom. And they roll it up tight and they do that. Like, you've it's like are you this is nuts like everybody does everything exactly the same you know everything from the beds to to every single thing and it's um i got very lucky yeah it's funny both them to this day well i don't know about amanda but both of them were out of the military still make their bed do like there's certain things that you because you know it's ingrained into you yeah yeah there's no sleep until fucking eight and nine o'clock in it you know no and so

well that was four or five in the morning it's like no matter what yeah because i did that for in five years or six years or something yeah i called my buddy and said i'm uh waking up at five with my girlfriend she works at seven yeah dude what the hell you're waking up at five you did that in the military you don't have to do that anymore yeah it's hard to break i can't do it i know i can do it now why would i not do it i know how beneficial it is to do it if i now i'm sleeping until eight nine i feel almost like shit i'm sleeping until eight yeah i feel useless yeah but i say like what a piece of shit yeah and that's eight eight eight's not bad Well, I have to get up because I have to get it because they serve chow.

And I've got to be there for chow. And then I got to go to the rec yard. So the reason I wake up at a certain time is different than yours. Yeah. You know, but yeah. Yeah. Well, that was another thing is I was, and me and my friends talk about this on my podcast. My podcast is it's hard to compare, but the military is similar to the prison.

Oh, listen. There's a whole unit. There's a hundred and, like, 80 guys in a unit that's the military unit. and all of them say the same thing. They're like, yeah, I was in the military for 12 years. It's the same thing. Like, trust me, you'd be shocked at the similarity. Wow.

You're saying people in prison were saying this? Yeah, there's a military unit, right? So they have a special unit for just, they, for just the military. Yeah, for Leavenworth, right? No, no. This is, you're just talking about, right? Any, well, not anywhere. But in the low security, they have, it's 12 units.

One of the unit, what, no, nine, there's nine units. One of the units. One of the units is the military. military unit. And so when you show up at Coleman, if you have military service, then you get to go in the military unit. And the military unit is much nicer than the other units. It's also much, much more quiet than the other units. And they get special privileges. Yeah, guards probably treat you a little better. Yeah. Well, you know, some of these guys, you know, they were in there fucking 20 years, 30 years, five years, or, you know, five or six years, 10 years. But they're all, they're all veterans. And

And, but yeah, and you talk to them, and they're like, honestly, this isn't that much different. Like, you know, getting your clothes assigned to you, standing in line for chow. You know, of course, the military eats better. But, you know, there's a whole bunch of stuff that they're like, all the similarities. We probably have the same powder eggs as you guys. If I had to put money on that, you had powder eggs in there. No, we had a hard-boiled eggs. That's what I would eat because the powder eggs were so bad.

You know, hard-boiled eggs. are boiled eggs and paninis overseas so back back to clarksville you're in clarksville yeah you're in clarksville i'm in clarksville um yeah i forgot where i was at there i mean i guess you'd been divorced your your girl was yep the dude's not talking to us at all anymore right and still in clarksville and um yeah this did you go so i get divorced around 20 20 20 2021 2020 October i don't even remember anymore two years ago um yeah 20 21 get divorced forest finalized it all it took like two months but you're still in the middle you're still in the military yeah still in the military but then so my whole dream as a kid was to grow up being

the military 20 years because my grandma then i take a flight over to indiana to help fix a helicopter from clarksville and on the way back from indiana i laid down on the helicopter take it just take a nap wake up my back's hurting like a like a motherfucker like my back is pounding i'm 23 years old go go in get it checked out they're like let's get you x-rays and in our unit there was two ways you get checked out by a civilian or by someone in the army they got both doctors the civilian takes over a lot of the like easy work because the army doctor has to do like if you're getting chafftered out for medical reasons or anything like that a civilian can't do that so for me i was getting chattered out or even to start the paperwork

to get you out of the army for medical reasons it has to be someone in the army to do that right So the civilian couldn't do anything for me. I go to get x-rays, come back. He said, you're fine. There's no worries. I don't know what you're talking about. Go over and get, go to orthopedics, get implants for your shoes. Get the soles for your shoes.

So, okay, that's what they had me do three years ago, and it didn't work. So I ended up coming back, like, a week later, because I played hockey. I was playing goalie. Someone shot the puck with, like, two seconds left. We were up by three. Shot the puck from the corner and hits my shirt. shin like i don't know how it squeezed in through the goalie pad never seen it before hits my shin and bruise my shin so i go in the next day again to the aid station to get my shin checked out

because now i think my shin's fucked up and i get an army lady checking me out and she's like yeah your shin's fine you'll be fine we'll give you some ibuprofen some water you'll be good to go that's the army way ibuprofen and some water is there anything else you need help with i'm like no think that's fine just my shin hurts a little bit bruise but i got a hockey game two days so we'll find out she's like okay well see you have scoliosis i was like what i don't have scoliosis i've never heard of that i played hockey all growing up played baseball growing up i never had scoliosis she had three monitors one was the army regulation saying i can't be in the army anymore because of scoliosis the next was my x-ray and the next was my medical records

and so why didn't the the civilian didn't care because he can't put the paperwork in anyways okay it's just not his department yeah no it it is he just didn't give a shit he's been doing it old dude been doing it for 25 years was in the army for 25 years too so he's like 65 years old he didn't want to for a little for a little scoliosis because I got a minor case right but someone who cares about you someone who's in the military and knows that if I stay in my scoliosis is going to get much worse and then it'll end up being a lawsuit or wherever it is all right he's going to be in even more debt so I end up getting she starts my paperwork like the next day to get medically discharged.

That is never set in stone until you're about a month out from actually getting discharged. So I had about seven months of maybe you're getting discharged, maybe you're not. We don't really know. But for now, just kind of hang tight. So for about seven months, I was doing about nothing. Just hanging loose, getting my life back together. And that's when I started drinking a little bit. me and my buddies were drinking when i got divorce we all were going out acting fools drinking

because that's the army thing we all ended up looking at each other one day and just like look man we can't be doing this anymore right this is getting old we're all we're putting our lives in danger and um about the next month kevin my co-hosts just look man you're getting out maybe have you ever tried marijuana it's like no my parents all growing up never nothing He's like, you should give it a go. So I get out and I start smoking and from there on, I started working out my mental health thinking what really have I been taught all growing up, what really has been going out with my mind, what's been instilled in me. And how could I change that to optimize my life and the life people around me? So how can I show other people this is how to live?

Did you just skip over the part? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so what got me to that point is, like I said, we were all alcoholics, and we all had to stop. So I ended up stopping, and I got home from the gym one day and pulled in my garage. My gun was by my side, and I just looked at the house that I lived in with my ex-wife, and I looked at what was all leaving me. I'm getting med-boarded out of the military. my family just showed up last month for the first time they seen my house so my family just came

from florida last month to finally see what i've done for my life right i've got my whole life set up look at this nice house look at my nice car look at everything my life is set it's all legal right i could nothing nothing's going wrong a month later i'm getting kicked out and not kicked out discharged so i uh held a gun to my head um called my brother which i i don't want to say i regret but I feel really bad because it was my little brother. He was 19 at the time. I shouldn't put him, but I should not have put him in that situation. But I had no one else to call.

And in the end of, you know, he saved my life. Right. Dude, you can't do this. If you do this, I'm going to do it. And then I was like, what? You know, and put it down. So after that, it kind of hit me. And I went to Kevin.

And Kevin said, look, man, you got to try something else. Try this. So I started smoking to just settle down. And then, um, Once I got out, like we were talking earlier, I started doing psilocybin to help me with just kind of focus on what my mind was actually going through on a daily basis. What I was actually thinking about.

Because is that something you get from the, how do you say, psilocybin? Silocybin. Yes. Is that something you say, or you get from a doctor? Yeah, so you could go and get it through a doctor. Yeah, that's how you're supposed to do it. Okay.

But it's illegal, so you should, or illegal, so you should not do it. But you feel like it helps. But yeah, it's incredible. The studies that are coming out, they're opening a lab in Georgia for producing it. Right. They're going to start producing it now.

Well, I heard, for federally, I think it is. PSTD, I heard that it was, or that. PTSD. PTSD. PTSD. I had heard that they were doing studies with, is it ecstasy? Oh, no, I didn't know that. Yeah, I heard this like a year ago that they were saying

that they're actually talking about making, ecstasy, a form of it, prescribable, because it helps so much with PTSD? Yeah. PTSD. Just because, you know, when, well, just from what I, when people tell me that, you know, it's like everything feels good. Like you want to be, it's the opposite of PTSD. Like, you want to be around other people.

You want to be touched. Yeah. And I don't know, I don't know if you ever, yeah, you. I've never done it. I've never done it, but I've, yeah, it's like, it's, it's so hard to. explain because it just it puts me in a better mood from the get-go if I wake up and they now they make microdose spray so psilocybin comes in mushrooms and all this so people have been doing mushrooms and then what was it during Reagan's time that's when

it all blew up people were going crazy the hippie era yeah all that and then um before Reagan but yeah yeah yeah Nixon is it Nixon is it Nixon yeah it would be the seven 60s and 70s yeah Reagan was like 80s yeah yeah right right Reagan was the one who banned them though isn't it Reagan put it on their list, I believe. Listen, Reagan did all kinds of things. I mean, and the funny thing is, like, I think Ronald Reagan was probably what, I would say this to my girlfriend, like they was greatest president ever. Dude, I was just, but he did some horrible, like, now he did some things that were like,

for me, it was like, like, way overboard. Like, you know, part of it is like the war on drugs. Yeah. Some of the stuff he did, it's like, the same charge that was going to get you a year before is now getting you 20 years? 20 years. Like, and you, and there's no part. role like you're telling me that you're going to do 85% of me and they just started building prisons they couldn't build them fast enough when bill Clinton came in bill Clinton a Democrat built more prisons in the prison sentence and in the prison system than any president ever but I'm saying like but all of that stems from Reagan's war on drugs he changed the system right and it became it just became brutal right I mean that was just I was just I was just I was

on a you know it's Twitter so what right but someone asked what was peak what was the peak of human like have we peaked yet as a civilization or not and all the comments were saying 1984 1984 1984 1984 1984 so I had to see like it why does everyone like Reagan so much but yeah like you said he did a lot of good things but he's got a couple yeah a couple little things yeah he was he was he was he was a great spokesman he was a great statesman he was you know he he was a great negotiator he was you know but then there were a lot of things that he did that were you know semi underhand look listen you just don't get to that height without you know doing some sleazy some sleazy stuff and and sometimes you know like the best course of action for the country

or you feel this is the best course of action yeah and there are so many things that are in your way you start trying to work around those things and that's when it becomes illegal yeah you know but but um that's politics me yeah but i just don't think that you know like you hear the right talking about you know how they this and they that you hear the left talking about well they this what the problem is is yeah look there's there's probably equal corruption in both sides oh yeah oh yeah but what's working that was uh one of the hardest things that's why i'm very fortunate i was getting out of the military because joe biden came in right and that just like the morale of the whole army you like drop everybody man you could just see it everyone knew and then you end up

with COVID and you're kind of like is the government scamming everybody all the time and now everyone in the army's like am I getting scammed like actively right now are they scamming me and you were telling me when they pulled out of Afghanistan you felt like fuck I'd been yeah man I mean I just we just picked up everything I mean we were working night and day it was 24 hour shifts like tearing down a helicopter building it back up the next day so that we could fly and catch bad guys in the middle of Afghanistan. We were, and it was every day we were coming home with someone new, every single day. And then I get home a couple months later, and we're just, hey, we need someone to go over to Afghanistan for six months because we'll be pulling out, just be ready.

And like I was telling you, we were lucky enough to have two to three month deployments. So this was unheard of. We'd go over there. And then my buddy Kevin ended up getting stuck over in Africa during COVID. COVID because we couldn't even get flights home. We could not even get a military flight home. So we ended up having soldiers overseas stuck because of this COVID. So now we're like, now the government doesn't give a shit about me either because they're

putting this COVID thing out there and now they're just leaving me out there. So now I'm getting scammed twice. And then it just kind of opened my eyes up that government isn't what I was raised to believe it was, you know? Right. Well, yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, you grow up watching, like, I always mentioned law and order because I used to love law.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, New York. It's in New York. Law and Order is in New York. Well, I'm saying Chicago, Chicago PD, I'm sorry.

And, sorry. But I'm saying, you know, you watch, I would watch these shows and I just thought like they were so, they were concerned about you're doing the right thing, but also concerned about doing it the right way and concerned about, you know, the, you know, you know, can't do that because it would violate his right. You can't do this. And then, of course, you go through the system and you realize, oh, that's a pro. That's a TV program. They got me. That's not what's happening. So, but yeah, there's so many things that are just, and it's so funny, too, because there's a guy, Chris Morero that I was locked up with.

I've actually had him on this program. He's a, he does a whole sovereign citizen, you know, he thinks like, you know, he's not like a U.S. citizen. He thinks that they don't have the, just insanity. but what's funny about him is he used to talk about aliens all the time right like aliens and aliens and this and that and he read all these books and I would be like you're crazy bro like why would aliens be even be interested in us why would they come here why they we we offer nothing there's no like you know and I would go to I'd say I mean you seriously believe that he's like he's oh yeah they're here they're here they're I was like really and with all the camera fudge and everything anything. There's no video. There's no photos. I'm like, come on, bro. That's insane. And then, of course, the Navy comes out with all those, with all the video of these extra or these. You're talking about the Antarctica down in Antarctica? No, I'm talking about the Navy came out where they have the, um, um, they have the UFOs on where they're zipping and here. And then you could hear the Navy guys like, what is it?

I have no idea. Like what, do you, are you seeing this? Yeah, no, I got them on my radar. And they're showing them. Yeah. And this is. And so then when they release it, of course, I have to call up Chris and I'm like, I'm so sorry. Yeah, bro, like, you know there's UFOs.

I told you. I told you. I'm like. Best feelings ever. for him, too. You know, another thing was funny is like, and there's all of these things.

It's like, you know, they want, you know, there's all these things like, like they want to release, they want Trump's taxes. And then finally,

finally, they force him to give them his taxes. They go through them with a fine tooth comb and everything he's done is legal. Damn it. And then you turn around

and they say, okay, well, then we want Joe Biden's taxes. And Biden says, no, I'm not giving him to you. But you wanted Trump's taxes.

Yeah, Yeah, just like this classified document. Same thing with it. It's like, it's like what happens is it's almost like what you're doing, you blame the other person for and you force them because you think, well, if I'm doing it, they have to be doing it. Yeah. And then they get caught.

Right. Right. And then they're gone. Yeah. Then you get what you want and it's not what you thought. And then they've turned it on you and they go, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's now this is insane. You can't do that.

Wait a minute. Yep. There's just all these things. If I'm right, though, I think didn't they just get the okay to raid or go into Joe Biden's house too? Yeah, I think both, and I don't, I haven't seen this. I just heard Boziac tell me that they actually raided the FBI went in and found more, found more documents.

More. And of course, you know, there's a thing on TikTok where there's a phone conversation between Biden and his son where he's talking about, look, look, they're not going to drop the document thing contact he says have you seen this it's fake

it's got to be fake there's no way it's not fake because it's like how would you have gotten this and it's so funny because it's perfectly him but I mean it sounds just like

he's like he's like he's calling his son the new BMO V-I Porter MasterCard is your ticket to more more perks more points more flights more of all the things

you want in a travel reward card and then some get your ticket to more with the new bemo v i porter mastercard and get up to $2,400 in value in your first 13 months terms and conditions apply visit bimo.com slash the i porter to learn more and he says uh look they're they've just found some more documents they're not going to drop this uh i can't seem to get it squashed and so i need you to get the red phone and i need you to call Barack and um what's Obama's what's uh not Hillary Brock and Michelle Michelle call Barack and Michelle and tell them that something like you know Operation Fireball or something like that something's silly he's like I love you buddy and he hangs up

the phone and it's got to be fake Jimmy Door does a lot of those so hilarious though when you listen to it yeah he's got his own show he's blowing up now in Chicago Jimmy Dorr and he's got a couple is just like on the phone with biden and he's just talking like straight to biden as jimmy door it's like you know they're damn democrats coming at me but people get crazy yeah you know they get nuts oh i wish i could had it i wish i could find i i was going to say did i send this to anybody did i send it to who would i have sent it to oh i got my buddy i got oh listen it can't be this can't be true like there's just it's so over over-the-top damning.

What's so funny is that you hear so many damning things and you're like, it's kind of like Nancy Pelosi's husband buying all these stocks and you're like, how is this not a federal crime? Yeah, how do we not lock these people up like now? You know, and this is like it's a get like all these people that talk about about Trump, right? Well, he's a racist. Well, what racist things did he say?

They can never come up with anything. It's like, oh, well, he is. Well, why? Okay. Well, what racist policies did he be? make well uh uh and it immediately becomes a fuck you and they walk away it's like so you what happens is you're repeating things that you've heard people say you want to believe it there's no policies he's he hasn't said anything you just want him to be a racist so that it is so that you feel

right about the fact that you don't like him and you don't like him because you think he's a racist when actually there's no yeah it's just it's the trump derangements it's the craziest thing i've never seen it before what you know and the worst thing about him is by the way about about Trump so like his policies like I totally agree with this guy's policies like I agree with like do I think he was a great president I don't I you know like a lot there's like my girlfriend loves him she loves him and I'm like he's obnoxious he's a doucheback he's a narcissist he's this he says horrible things she's like well yeah he may not be polished and I'm like look I don't have a president he should be polished right like I was having the same conversation with

my girlfriend's mother actually this was a good one because we were talking about Joe Biden's son and I said I think someone with a son like that shouldn't be in a presidential position she's like what do you mean his son doesn't have anything to do with it I think your ability to raise a son to not become a crackhead

like this strongly shows who you are and someone held to the standard of a president I would think it's a higher standard well so here's my problem with that is that you know I disagree only because I believe that we are more nature than we are nurture.

Like you can get a bad egg. People think, oh, it's 50, 50. It's not 50, 50. It's like 80, 20. Like sometimes you just can't do anything about it. So I disagree with that statement. But here's what I do, what does bother me, you're protecting your son. You have protect.

My son's a crack head and he's selling crack and he's showing crack and he's doing this. and he's doing things illegal. FBI, go after him, send him to fucking jail. I'm sorry. I love you. I will come visit you. I will put money on your books,

but you cannot behave this way. I'm not going to allow you to behave this way. When I'm the president. Exactly. And embarrass me and stand against everything I stand for, you're slapping in the face. So I get that. I mean,

that's how I feel. So we look at the same thing, but just two different views. I see what you're saying, though. But here's what's funny. So this is so funny. It can't be true. Listen, this is you're going to listen.

It's going to crack me up. He's been known to cure insecurity just with his laugh. His organ donation card lists his charisma. His smile is so contagious. Vaccines have been created for it. He is the most interesting man in the world. I don't typically commit crime, but when I do, it's bank fraud. Stay greedy, my friends.

Support the channel. Join Matthew Cox's Patreon. I don't think they're going to get off my ass about these documents. I know that there's a least, but I'll say five more places that I can remember that they are. Listen, use the red cell phone. Call out the Barack and Michelle. The Llam Operation Crash a bird is to go. Do this immediately, please.

All right, I love you now. Bye. Hey, what? It's golden, man. But, look, honestly, and even look at the thumbnail. Like, it's pretty good. Like, it's a great little video. You could trick people for sure.

It's good. Like, I can't imagine. Here's what's even funnier is, what if it's true? Like, what if actually this? Yeah, now we don't know. Like, I don't think it's true because it's just so overwhelmingly damning. But Joe Biden's past actions are kind of overwhelmingly damned too. Right, but what if it is?

Like, what if suddenly, this is the kind of thing I think, come on. Like the documents are already in a Corvette, so he's already doing crazy shit every day. And right, so I'm like rolling my eyes. Six months later, you find out he's been entitled for this phone call. You're like, oh my God, that was true. It's been happening ever since he got an office too. Like, things are getting in nuts. It's insane.

It's like every single day there's a new thing out there that has happened. You know, it's like the assassination of JFK. They could never get away with that now. No way. There would be so many leaks in cameras. cameras. You just can't do that. So what they do now is they assassinate you in another way. On the internet. On the internet, they cancel culture you. They find out they keep dirt on you. I want to go back to the old days. I would much rather the mob days, 100%. It's just way

better. You fuck up, you do something wrong, you get shot. Everyone stay in line. I was going to say, what was the, what was it, um, uh, uh, Beck lover? You know, right? Yeah, Yeah. He was asking me, and I never answered this. He said, would you prefer it now or would you prefer to have gone back before the internet? And I never got to answer because he entered. Like we, he would, he'd start talking. He asked you another question and then he'd say something else. And he'd be like, you asked me three questions in the last 10 minutes. And I haven't been able to answer any of it. Right. So I never was able to answer that. But I thought, I thought it was a good question. It's, it's really good. It only suck because we're early to the internet still. Like if you think history, wise, well, the internet came out, let's just say, for sure, by like, 93, we'll call it 30 years. It's been alive for about 30 years. That's early history-wise. So we're still at the beginning of it. Right.

And we have not yet figured out how to deal with it, how to deal with social media is the number one thing. No one's figured out how to communicate well on the internet. What about that chat? Man, chat GPT is changing the world. Have you, like, Bozziak came over to me and Bozziak guys, look at this. You put it down, he's like, watch. It's the craziest shit in the world. I've been using it.

We just, for realtors, that realtor website I set up. Right. I set up a couple different things for, like, people to get free information, like 10 things to do when selling your house. 27 mistakes buyers make. Shit like that. Yeah. Chat, GPT.

What are the 27 mistakes that buyer would make? 30 seconds. This one, two, three. It's insane. It is, it is like, we were asking it. We were like, hey, you know, can you write me a story about, write me a love story you know it was a warm suburb day when jane walked across the park it immediately just and you were like you know jordan peterson do you watch yes of course he said he

he had it right a 13th rule for his book but he he incorporated like the philosophy of russia during 1960 and the philosophy of china during 1940 or something like that and it came out with a whole a whole uh essay for him And he was saying how it was just so scary because he felt like he wrote it. Yeah. He's like, I could have written this. Yeah. This could have actually been me.

It's insane. And now that's early. Like that is like the beginning of the internet all over again, chat GPT, which is crazy to think about. Yeah, it'll just living in it now. You know, they're saying it'll change like, this is going to change everything. Yeah, it's going to. But we're living it now. But what's so funny too is like when I'm driving in the car with Jess, we'll be talking and she'll go, yeah, I wonder what that is.

Or what something is. let's say we just some question you don't need google anymore well no not not that i'm like well and she's like yeah i wonder i'm like well look it up you got your phone with you like let's find out like what do you do like when i was growing up you just had to wonder yeah you just had to like i'm just curious you to hope that at some point you got back home and somebody you knew in the neighborhood had a botanica that you could go and you could look it up and even then an hour and a half after looking and reading you might be lucky to find the answer well And so this is why I would argue for before the internet.

Have you been to Viarters down the road? It's a Mexican restaurant. Viartis? Oh, it's amazing. It's right next to the entrance over there on 75. But yeah, we went over. On Bruce B. Downs? Or on seven, or this is.

Yeah, Bruce Bowns to 54 is it? There's 75 entrants on there. Well, this is, we're actually on 56. It turns to 54. Yeah, yeah. If you turn right on Bruce Bidowns, take that all the way. You'll run into that restaurant. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, so we ended up just going there, and I didn't know what chorizo was, or like Elpestor. I just didn't know. I was like, ask my girlfriend, do you know? She's like, oh, let's just look it up. The guy's right here. Right. Why don't I ask the dude serving the food to me?

He'll probably be able to tell me better than Google. So that's why I probably bring me some. And I can taste it. I have to have Google describe it to. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So that's what I would argue for. The reason I would argue to live in it now is because of it. is just so revolutionary.

It's never been seen before or something like this. It's just, and the limit, it's limitless. It just seems like the sky is the limit. And the new kids coming up are becoming smarter. Like the average IQ, statistically, is rising in America because of this. Testosterone's dropping.

Yeah, that's problem. So, we can just, we can just jump on testosterone. Did you ever see, have you ever seen the movie Idiocracy? No. You have to. watch that movie have you ever seen the movie catch me if you can of course i've read the fucking book i told my dad about you and he said have you ever seen it and i was like no you should go watch that oh are you serious yeah and i watched it my my girlfriend's like this

is this about matthews stop and i said in the 1960s and 70 thank you i'm not that old so i said no this isn't him but pretty good right um god you know what i was going to say um you know it's funny when i got out of prison and i'd seen it a little bit on the on the on tv shows but on TV, they don't really show you how bad it is. What's that? In prison? No, so if you're in prison, you're watching TV. You see iPhones every once in a while, right?

You'll see somebody use it here, use it there. But it's not a main part of the show. It's not, you don't realize watching TV how overwhelming the impact is and how much people are on them. Like you might see, they'll have, let's say they show 50 people in a crowd walking, two people might be going yeah and looking up and going and walking then you get out then i got out of prison and i went into like a crowd right so now i'm in a crowd and i mean 50 people in a crowd and 45 of them are walking around like this or this is the other thing that that this was me prior to going to prison and you don't really see it on tv is i would be walking and someone would be look over at me

and they're talking to me. And I'm like, I'm sorry, what? And I walked right by and I realize they got an air pod in. They're just on the phone. But they look at you. In the gym,

that messes with me all the time, someone's like, yeah, to me, I was like, everybody's schizophrenic. Yeah. They're walking around like, they're walking around. What are you telling me?

Don't you tell me? I told you, I told you, I told you, you know. And you're just walking by him. I'm like, he's crazy. He's like eating a McDonald's burger. What the fuck's going on?

That's insane. Are you talking to me? These people are not. or you're in the restaurant and there's like there's 20 tables and there are people right in front of each other and they're like you went to dinner to dinner together you're spending to me it's like I'm spending like 50 bucks on this dinner at least yeah I'm spending at least 50 bucks on this I'm gonna enjoy it with no phone you know it's I went to a I always cracked me up um this is this is very very very 1980s 1990s went to went to the movies one

time with my brother and we went in and we sat down and he sat one seat over and he goes and i went what are you doing and he goes well that's a fag seat and i looked at him and i went the fuck out of here i said i didn't i said if i didn't want to sit next to you i would have come alone motherfucker and i and i go sit down and what you're doing he goes that's your problem fuck he got up and sat down he's like yeah you know you know i was like i don't give a shit what people think we're together we are together we're brothers we came here together we've been together our whole life yeah yeah i don't care what these people think fuckers but i mean that's just how that's that's very 1980 1990s yeah i'm not sitting there you crazy look like oh listen i'm not sitting like when i was growing up like if somebody called

somebody you know gay or a fag or something you know they would say like it was it was you're not calling me that we're fighting yeah we're fighting now it's just you know Matt you got a better chance of fighting if you call someone a Republican or a Trump supporter than you do if you call somebody gay they'll be like oh actually I'm not gay Oh okay Trump supporter motherfucker I'll kick you're

Hey hey Whoa dude chill Whoa Who You know like calm them down by telling him Yeah Leah I'm gay I'm gay

I'm gay I'm gay You try to make it about me. So you got, so you did get out. Yeah. You got out. I got out. See,

I'm bringing it back around. Yeah, yeah, that's a good host right there. It's hard to do, man. It's hard to do because I love myself. Yeah. I love talking about myself. And I think everything I say is amazingly interesting. Even though I have, I've managed to date a girl that continually tells me, it's not.

Not that cool, dude. You're not. I've heard this story. You can tell me again. That's fine. Do you mind if I text while you're telling me? Oh, man. And I'm like, wow.

that's just cruel she's like yeah i know so anyway go ahead and tell me your story do you tell her do you tell her the story hell yeah i'm an asshole hell yeah you're not asshole so tell a story she's heard it sometimes she'll finish it sometimes i halfway through the story i know i've told it to her at least at least once or twice and she'll be like and i'll go have i told you this she'll go yeah i've always had it like it's always been confusing because my dad tells a lot of stories and you tell a lot of stories how do you get and you've lived a lot of stories how do you end up coming back to the same stories that story's that cool you know what I'm saying like you've lived so many stories just one sticks out and you end up you know what's just run into something and you tell the same story you

know what's so funny is like going to prison like like I thought going to prison like I thought I'm missing out on so much like being in prison you feel like I'm missing out on life I'm missing out but the truth is you know I just had a different I just had a different experience like everybody does just a new phase of life right no nobody has the life that they wanted you're not even right now you're not living the life that you thought you were living when you were a kid this isn't the life you had mentally planned out you know even when you went in the military you know you had you were in the military like you probably thought well i wasn't necessarily dreaming about this when i was a kid oh hell no or dreaming about cleaning up the

floors sweeping the floors in the rain you know doing something else even if it was in the military it's like i thought it was going to be more if you're a police officer you have a different experienced that even if you end up in that job career it's never quite what you expect right and so i just had a different set of experiences and it wasn't until i got out that i really started realizing and i kind of did in there when i would hear people complain what i realized right away and i think this kind of goes to your your show and your point it is also it kind of feeds into the whole mental health thing is that i realized right away that and i i i built on it. And to be honest, I have a cousin who's like a meth addict, right? To this day, I think

he's still a meth addict. And just super smart guy. And one of the things he told me when I first got to prison, and I had 26 years. And to go, like, I got like 23 years to go. Yeah, like you showed up. Right. And like I got, I'm doing at least another 20, 23 years. And one of the things he had told me within a week was, I was like, man, I just don't know that I can do this. And, and he was like, well, he said, do everybody else a favor. Don't complain. He goes, nobody wants to hear you complain. He is, there's a lot of guys that will spend the whole 20 years complaining. He is, and I can tell you right now, it's never going to make you feel better. It's never going to make anybody else want to be around you. It's never going to build up any friendships. It's

never going to help the situation. Like, he's like, and mentally for you, it's going to do extreme damage by complaining right this is a situation you deal with it you figure out how to get through it you enjoy your time and i was just like like like you know initially i was like yeah okay but a lot of people say stuff to me and i you know initially i i push back or i'm like yeah all right but then it kind of sinks in and it slowly sank in and then as you go you start being around other people and you realize like every time i'm around you you're complaining like this guy is and then you start to dislike them you just got to hear about their bullshit yeah it's the negative in it you know you're negative negative and you start to realize like how negative it is and then you find

yourself complaining and then you realize damn and I'm complaining and he probably doesn't want to hear me complain right so now I'm that guy that I don't even want to be around I see him and his buddy come over who do nothing but complain and like there was these two guys we called them the brother's grim and and they were fucking horrible like you'd be if you got stuck behind him in line it was like it was just like oh my god they do nothing but complain the whole time like yeah so yeah i started realizing don't complain figure out how to pass your time do it the best you can be polite be nice don't be a fool but you know read keep yourself entertained right and then you end up in a position like yours where people are coming to you to write a story exactly

and that's what happened it slowly built and then of course people were telling me you should write your story you should write your story yeah and i didn't and i didn't and i didn't and i didn't Didn't for years. For years I didn't. Well, I don't know. I don't have the stuff. Well, order it. Well, how am I going to order it? I'm in prison. I don't have the internet. So do the frame of information act. Well, that'll take months. Do you not have months? All my excuses just make me look like an idiot. Right. You have the months. Well, I don't know how to really write. I mean, I'm not very good at. Well, read a book. Start writing. I got to order a book. I got to read the book. Do you not have the time? I'm sorry. Are you going somewhere? Yeah. You got to catch dinner. pretty sure part of your attitude is that you're going to be here 20 years yeah yeah but it'll take forever you have forever right and so you know then once i started i was like god i'm i'm a slow writer i write slow well is are you in a rush yeah where are you going like you know and you do you slowly start to figure out that it as stupid as this sounds and you've heard this a thousand times is it really is the journey and and not the destination and it's those little lessons that I learned

when I was a kid but I didn't like they don't learn anything when you're a kid you got I've been as I want to be a father soon hopefully right I don't know how to teach my kid that like if my father was a he's been a teacher science teacher all growing up so I was looking at him asking him questions everything he was able to teach me a lot I had one of the best things that teachers and for some reason that still didn't just stick in my head. Yeah, listen, most of the wisdom I have is the same wisdom that my father told me that didn't sink in. Yeah. And so when I go and I turn around and I tell, you know, Jess's daughter, the same things that I was told. And I look at her and I think, wow, I just really, really put some wisdom on her. She's like, whatever, old man. You don't know

anything. Law enforcement often questions him. Not because he's suspected of a crime, but because they find him fascinating. He is the most interesting man in the world. I don't typically commit crime, but when I do, it's bank fraud. Stay greedy, my friends. Support the channel. Join Matthew Cox's Patreon. I was on the computer all growing up. I just, I get computers, I understand them. I can type well, I can do everything on a computer. I just understand it.

My dad told me when I was like 14 years old, learn how to make money on it. know how to make money on it. If I would have just listened to my father, I would be a millionaire no doubt. I would actually be a millionaire. I just, just one of those things, I'm learning to make money. I'm going to, I got a job at McDonald's. I got to learn to make money for. Flipping, you know, I'm in the back and taking cash, taking orders. You know what's so funny is that like Jess's daughter, like, you know, where before she's like, hey, you know, can you get me this? Can you get me that, can you give me this. And now she's making her own money. And, you know, she'll say, yeah, I need this. And Jessica, well, you should buy that. She's like, are you

serious? That's $60. You want me to use my own money? Like now she understands. She's like, I'm not buying that. And then you start breaking out. Like, man, that's eight hours with plus tax. It's funny how you, when it's you suffering for the money, you're very quick. Like now, now she doesn't, she really almost, she never asked for anything. And it's only, and it's really because now she's starting to get that respect. You finally understand it. Now she's like, God, I really don't want, I want to spend, I don't want to ask my mom to buy it. There's a lot of money. Like $60 before was nothing to her. But now that she knows what it takes to earn $60, she's less likely to ask you to get it for her, which is great. But, you know, some people, you just, it's,

you got to go through that. Yeah. I mean, my parents all growing up, um, they both worked, I mean, two to three jobs. Both of them. My dad was pizza delivery. Umpire on the weekends and a school teacher. Right. Oh, that sucks. School every day and then delivery on nights and then on the weekends, umpire. And then my mom's serving at two different places and then overnight at Home Depot. Yeah.

My father basically, you know, it's funny, like he always made, he made great money. But I also realized that he works 60 to 70 hours. Yeah, right. And here I am. I'm like, Mom, I want to go to the movies. Yeah. Can I go to the movies? And she needs this 20 bucks.

to pay for my hockey than I'm playing. Oh, yeah. No, you got, and you don't understand it, the kid. Yeah, yeah. No idea. What, you know, what's funny is like there's all these little tiny things that people, even when I got locked up, that people told me that I just remember thinking, it was the same thing.

It was like, it was like when I was like, man, I don't think I can do this. I remember this one guy told me, I've said this a bunch of times. He goes, he's like, well, that's a great thing about this. You don't have to do it. And I was like, what do you mean? He goes, they're going to make you do it. he said so you don't he said it's effortless on your part is what you need to focus on is how to keep yourself entertained while they make you yeah and I was like oh like that's a

horrible thing to say like like but no he didn't say it well yeah but I but now looking back I realized like no you're right he was right just like so I never went to therapy before in my life and finally after all my stuff in the army right the army gives you free therapy And my first therapy session ever I explained to him my life I just got divorced This is before I was getting medically discharged So that wasn't part of it yet

I was just sad because of the divorce Right And he goes You know You're just gonna have to think about it more It's like dude what the fuck you're talking about It's the last thing I want to think about This is the last thing on earth

I'd like to think about right now He's like you know You're just gonna have to think about it more often It's like dude I'm already thinking about it every day Like every day at least twice what do you mean to think about it more you know and then it wasn't until like six months later and i was like yeah no he was right if i don't think about everything that really happened and what went down shit's going to just happen again you know so you said you watched uh jordan peterson

yeah yeah i love jordan peterson one of the things he he says and i'm pretty sure he he got it from he actually i watched one where he said dosofsky or dosyovsky yes i just finished notes from underground by him. Really? Because he said, and when he always quotes him. And I believe this is one of his things where he was like, everyone is responsible for everything that happens in their life and everything that happens in everybody else's life. Is that part of it? If it's the same book, that's kind of what the book premise was too. So like it's around 1800s. It's the same thing. The craziest thing I'm reading through this whole book and this dude is going through the same thing I'm going through. Like Why is this all happening to me?

Why did this girl do this to me? Right. And he's going through society just a little bit too smart. So like, you're not dumb enough to follow the herd, but you're not smart enough to build our own business or something like that. He's like a midwit. Like, he's just barely too smart. And he just has to deal with that.

It's just a whole book about his mental health. And it's told from like Dostoevsky's journal. It's a fiction book, but it's about him. Right. that like that would be like to me i mean you you you started a podcast when you got out right like to me like if you broke that book up is it in chapters yeah uh yeah it's in parts part yeah if you broke up the parts and then summarize them and then did a 30 minute video like to me that's like an evergreen i'm so scared it's it's so scary because lex freeman just did it oh did he the same book yeah

lex freeman broke it down he but that's i mean i would like to start doing that even even for my own That was one of the things with the podcast is I don't want to start a podcast. How many other mental health podcasts are out there? Why do I start one? And then six months later, I'm looking back and I'm like, this is one of the greatest things ever. Like I could go back, look at all my conversations, my kids when they grow up. I was just going to say, not just that, it gives you a purpose.

Right. And that was our first episode, man. Just figure out what my next purpose in life is because I just got out the Army, just got divorced, got nothing going on. I moved back home with my parents. my parents aren't too fond of weed so when I was smoking they didn't like that I ended up having to move out and I was sleeping right right on there there's a hotel down there by that 75 exit okay I was sleeping in for about a couple days and then in my car and then over to my girlfriend's house

and then ended up yeah right next to L.A. just because I could walk in and get an apartment they were just the first people that would just hand me the keys so but yeah just I forgot where I was going with that but well I mean you were you we were talking about we were talking about Lex Lex Friedman yeah and starting the podcast yeah yeah so just just getting out and then at 23 I didn't realize like you know you have to get out of your parents' house

if you're still 22 23 I would strongly urge you to get out of your parents' house go start living your life now I say that all the time I'm like there are these kids that are out there that are 24, 23 years old, 24 years old, and they don't even have driver's licenses. Yeah. You welcome. My best friend in the Army showed up 25 in the Army with no license.

Who the fuck does that? Into the Army. How do you even get in the Army? Don't you get an ID? If you're living in New York City and you take public transport and quotation everywhere and you don't have a vehicle and your family doesn't have a vehicle, like I get that. Okay. You're in California.

Yeah. No. There's no. No. And even if you say, well, I don't have a car. it doesn't matter like there are certain just plat there there are certain thresholds or you know that you have to kind of hit in life yeah you have to you have to you have to get unless you don't want to drive you can graduate high school if you have to get a job maybe some people say

you got to graduate college you don't have to but maybe more you have to get start working on something to build a career there's you know you got to get a driver's license like that's one of the things it's like not having idea that was like me turning an adult when I knew when I was turning 16 I got my job the same day and I got my license the same day Right No kids are doing that anymore Like that was that was me

I was 15 I'm like yes Like tomorrow I'm about to be like an adult This is about to be my life This is awesome Now I'm thinking about like I'd just rather go back to high school But

Look I'm We were watching TV last night And this kid is yelling At her mother They're yelling about like she's like nine years old And she's back talking her And she's the mom's trying to explain And trying to this

And to me, it was like, listen, I might get one, one of the back talking. Yeah, just one point. Two, by the, by the second one, she's already got the stick. You know what I'm saying? So now it's like, I might, if I got in two, it was only as she was swinging the belt. You know what I'm saying? Like, there was no, there was no, no. Listen, it was so bad.

I don't even remember really talking back. Yeah, like. I can remember a few times where I got, where it was like, Oh, man, there was one time, I was like, oh, wow. Yeah, I was like 12 years old. We were heading to hockey practice in the middle of Chicago. It was blizzard out. And I was sitting next to my sister, and we had a 15 passenger van, so I could have sat anywhere in the van.

I sat right next to my sister. It's cold out. For some reason, I thought it was a funny little kid, and I was doing this to scratch my nose, and I was elbowing her. And she said, Mom, he's elbowing me. She said, Trevi, do that again. I'm kicking out of the car. You're walking home. And I did it again.

I was walking home at 11 years old done one of the busiest streets in Chicago during a blizzard because I was an asshole to my mother. My mom would pull her shoe off in the store and thank you in the store and people back then, they glance and just and they grin and keep on.

Now you pull your shoe off in the store in a grocery store or something and hit your kid. The cops are waiting for you by the time you walk out of the door. Cops and child services. Child service, yeah. Child protection, whatever.

Oh, listen, my ex, my ex-wife, she's like oh i don't care i don't care i'll smack the hell she's i don't care where we are like them call them get him on the phone now yeah i like them yeah take them will you be begging to come back in two weeks you know so um yeah it's just but but i was going i was back to thinking like just like how things don't like well say his name again dostoevsky dostoevsky oh i'll never be able to say that bro i was born i was raised in Florida. Yeah.

I don't think I could name all the States. Actually, my dad just sent me my great-grandfather's World War I draft card. Oh, really? That's pretty cool. Bro, oh, you're walking over. You got to, oh, I thought you were walking around with it. Oh, yeah, just in my pocket. No, you got to frame that shit.

No, you sent me a copy of it. And you got to frame it in like a with like a, oh, yeah. Kingdom of Poland. You know, oh, kingdom of Poland. Kingdom of Poland. Listen, my, my. My great, not great, my grandfather landed on Ellis Island for when he came from Norway. And they've, we've, and you've got the certificate where he came in and it's Ellis Island

and the whole thing. It's insane. Even like a draft, this is so funny to me because this is like a draft show up and like, what's on here? It's, um, let's see, you got his name, his address of where he moved, his birth, and where he's from pretty much. Oh, and he's married. He's got a child.

they needed my full medical records from every hospital I've been to that looks like a draft card yeah that's what I'm saying though I feel like I feel like a draft card they require a lot less they're like yeah bro I don't have my birth certificate I don't care yeah exactly

I needed I needed this this this this this they said here you go get on it was the craziest thing to me but they might end up coming back man in them drafts but what I thought was interesting was with the Jordan Peterson thing

was that the whole thing that you're responsible that like to me you know when I first got arrested it was that well if this person hadn't done this and they had this and then it took a few years

before I started going no that that wasn't that person's fault that was my fault first of all I'm smarter than that person you know I should have

I knew. I remember thinking, is he going to be capable of doing this? And I knew he wasn't, but I thought, well, probably. And then, you know, so I started putting it together and realizing that it was all of my decisions that led me here. Like, I knew better. And you may have messed up, but I put you in control of that situation. Yeah. Or I said this and I did that and I did.

It was always me. common denominator and all these things that went wrong and bad decisions that led me on this path were all was viewed yeah it's not coincidentally everyone around you right it's not like a series of bad events happened and i ended up committing fraud for nearly 10 years yeah yeah oops yeah if you guys would stop making mistakes you know no i'd be president no i don't think so man you're just it's you So but yeah, and it's so funny because when I was locked up in prison, had that time, once I realized that it was me, my decision, my fault, and I was the reason that I was there, I immediately felt better. Yeah. All the depression went away.

All the anger, depression complaint. Now you're switching to like the let's figure out what happened because now there's no fault. You're not playing. I started writing that book. Yeah. I started writing my book. Yeah, there you go. And now you're trying to figure out, okay, because that's what I did.

Like, it's not her fault. She cheated on me. Yeah. Like, what was I thinking? Just like, I'm going to be gone nine months and I'm going to expect a hot 22-year-old that's out dancing with her friends. Or am I expecting her to stay home? Yeah, exactly. There's two ways.

Exactly. Yeah, like, yeah, there's only, yeah, which of those ones works out either. Yeah. Not for a lifetime. That's all the military, man. That's every marriage in the military, man. It's brutal. The ones that make it, they need to be applauded somewhere.

because the ones that make it through the 20 years and have kids and are still living off that dude's pension, that's unbelievable to me. I don't know how they made it. I just can't even picture. Covering well. They've got a system. Yeah, yeah.

But yeah, you start trying to figure out, look, it's not, like, it was totally my fault. I could take control of everything. I could really control what my future is going to look like. And that was one of Jordan Peterson's thing. At the beginning of this year, I wrote down my perfect day, If I could have a day over and over and over again for the rest of my life, what would it look like and how would I feel at the end of the day? So wake up, what do I do?

Brush my teeth. Okay, how do I brush my teeth? Little minute things. Is that what he says to do? He says to it like every little. All the mundane things. How do you brush your teeth? I brush my teeth this way and I know that after about 10 seconds I feel it and I'm going to go over.

And now I'm on autopilot while brushing my teeth. Now you've got, what, two, three more minutes, the rest of your life to think about something. That adds up when you're 24. So it's just all those little things, doing the dish, everything, all these little mundane tasks, if you can perfect them, you're going to have a lot more time to think for yourself and not have to worry. And that's a lot why I like psilocybin is because when I'm doing those mundane tasks, it's on autopilot mode and I'm, I feel good. I'm not thinking about the past or what I've done or anything that. happen overseas so when I was overseas man I was like the gym the gym was like that door I'm sleeping here and it's it's not like like people like me lifting in there it's like US special forces

like yeah they're making it growling and yelling and hanging shit like they're picking up 400 pounds slamming it down so I'm waking up every night to a deadlift and just like Jesus Christ and then you move over to Afghanistan and we're sending out missiles every night so I'm waking up every night. Jesus Christ. So it's just psilocybin, you just, nothing's going to happen. I'm home, safe, just get stuck, get it done. Right. Yeah. Jordan Peterson, though, making a perfect day. That's, it's helping out. You go through the whole list. I got 30 minutes of piano. What do I want to do on piano? I want to learn this song, this song, this song. I want to do, I wrote down a couple books so how long do I run eight to nine I read I meditate I sleep I go to the gym after

and then it you know it switches every day one of the things you don't want to you don't want to make it too strict you start feeling bad so like right now I got 100 push-ups 100 sit-ups for each day not doing too great with it I'm not doing 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups each day but I know if I'm doing 50 each day or if I'm at least getting some done I'm moving towards the 100 each day so it's setting a sustainable goal that you could get to and achieve right and just small steps because before that how many push-ups were I doing today for that how many books were was I reading for that how much meditation was getting done yeah yeah I've heard him say the whole think about it if you just read a few pages you know a few even if it was just all the way down

to just just just a couple pages a day like yeah you'd be completing a book you know you'd be completing a book every two weeks or I think he says like what you'd be like yeah it'd be like a book every two weeks he's like think about that's 26 books a year yeah and he was like you Even if it was a month, took you a month, that's 12 books a year. How many are you reading now? People are like, oh, yeah. Well, I tried reading one last year. Yeah, it's like, stop, stop.

You're not reading nothing, man. Well, and I get, you know, I would get tons of people who, you know, they want to write, like, they want to write their story. And it's always they want to write you, always want me to write their stories. Like, well, why don't you write it? Well, okay, you know what? And it's easy. Yeah. Why don't you do this?

Why don't you write an outline? And I'll help you with it. So write the outline. They can't write an outline. Oh, man. You can't write a four-page outline? Like, stop, bro, stop. Well, not just, no, because they want me to do it.

Yeah, they're going to just go. Yeah, right. So I'm not going to do it. Like, I'm not going to do it because it's not going to happen. Like, like, you, I can already tell what I'm dealing with. And then I always love this, too. There's like, you write it, bro. Like, I'll split it with you.

I'll split it with me. So you could get the credit that I wrote? Right. I don't write the entire book. Like, I was doing that when I was in prison. I gave him the outline. Yeah. I didn't even give me an outline.

I got nobody ever gets me anything. I'll give people assignments, send them off on their way, and they never do anything. And then they're like, I just can't seem to get. I'm like, listen, stop, stop. Write one paragraph a day. Yeah. They can't do it. What was, Jordan Peterson was saying he was writing, yeah, he was doing a paragraph.

And then when he finished his book, he was going paragraph by paragraph and sentence by sentence. And he was just breaking down word to word for every book he was written. Make sure I want this paragraph to be written to where I could read it every time and be satisfied. Right. Something like that. Well, you know, it's funny, too, is I was talking to Jess, like I was writing. Like, I'm writing her story. Oh, that's cool.

And it's, I do, when I write, it is the exact opposite of how I talk. Like, when I talk, I'll take an hour to explain something. Yeah. When I write, I write a lot. And then I go through and I start saying, I don't need that word. I can combine these two sentences. Like, it's about brevity. I want to get into a scene as late as possible.

Right? And then I want to get out of the scene as early as possible. So if a scene takes, it could take, you know, four pages, but I can do it very succinctly in one. I want to do it in one. Because one, people don't read. Yeah. And two, you have to give your writer or your reader the, you have to give him credit that he's going to understand that if you start talking about being at the dinner table with someone. I don't have to explain to you that, you know, I called Trevor, asked them to meet me at Outback.

We went, we then met, decided to meet at Outback, we met, we received. I don't have to do that. This is a big, yeah. I've been actually, I hope my girlfriend watches this because I've been getting on her because I love storytelling and it actually, it started with Kobe Bryant.

Kobe Bryant was transitioning in the stories. So what do you wanna do with your life now? So I just want to storytell. Right. I just want to tell stories. And I was like, man, that would be pretty cool. Just Colby Bryant. me the basketball player yeah yeah before he died yeah he was once he retired he just want to tell

he has a child's uh podcast on spotify or something oh i didn't know that yeah just telling a story so it's like a 15 minute thing while you're on your way to soccer practice or whatever you could put it on for your kids just telling a story but there's a lot of just like you said there's a lot of and then i said this and then she said this or like this and then she said like this and then she said this and i was like you got to stop doing that you're going to jumble up your words. You're going to be like, she said, she said, I said, she said, and then at some point it's going to mess up and then you're not going to be able to.

Well, what happens is how can I condense this scene? I can throw in some dialogue. I love dialogue. I love to throw in some dialogue. But if you start going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth like that, well, a two-minute conversation ends up being eight pages. And it doesn't take two minutes to read it. It takes five or ten minutes.

Like, can't we sum this up in a paragraph? you and I know we had a discussion about this and then you said and you end it with part of the sentence and then I say something and then we can summarize part of the conversation throw in a couple of cute little sayings back and forth and then end it and it's two paragraphs as opposed to the five pages.

So, you know, that's hard. Like to me that's hard to do, but Jordan Peterson says the same thing. He's like, you want to know how to think and be successful, learn how to write. Yep, that's why I started writing. Yeah. And it's just anything.

Starting a Twitter, my own personal Twitter so I could just go on and write. Just write anything. Just start writing. Get something down. Well, this is the same thing with the podcast. You know how many time people taught me? Yeah, I want to start a podcast.

But you know, I, like, because I made all the mistakes. And then this and then this. And I already made all the mistakes in podcasting. Like, like I messed up so bad when I hit, when I did soft, when I did, because within a few months, I did Danny's podcast, concrete. I did soft wine underbelly. I did, oh gosh, value tainment, and I, Vlad.

Oh, really? Literally within six months, I was on all of those. And they were all doing amazing, right? Yeah. So they're all getting like over a million views. And what I made the mistake of was Danny, the first night, like for all of Danny's faults, you know what I'm saying? He has given me some great advice that I have not listened to. and it was like it so it's and you know and like you know and it's he absolutely you know

what I just wish I'd listened you know it's like like he he really has helped me lead me in the right path but you know you can lead a horse to water yes and and the problem was is that I was saying no I want to do a podcast like this like that he's like yeah yeah I understand you want to do that he was but you need to start a podcast now he's because I'm pretty sure this because this is right this was literally the night that same night when we did the podcast hadn't been posted we went to we went to um waffle house i think oh and we ate i know we went it's like like it was like 12 o'clock at night the only place was over so we're eating i'm eating eggs and bacon and stuff and he's he's like

listen bro i've done a lot of podcasts and i went okay he said this is going to be big he's i'm pretty sure he's not going to be wrong it may get no views but i have a feeling it's going to get it's going to be pretty good. That story you just told is one of the most amazing things I've ever heard. I was like, really? And he was like, and I was like, really? He goes, yeah, he said, and it's not just the story, but you told it really well. Like you tell it well.

I'm like, well, I've been, I've been in prison telling the story for 10 years. Exactly. Yeah. So, anyway, he says that. And he goes, you need to start a podcast. And I went, yeah, I know I want to, right? Like I told you, I want to start a true crime podcast. I start telling him what I want to do.

And he goes, yeah, I get it. You want three cameras. You want a set up. up you want you want to have the whole this whole thing you want it he's like i'm like yeah exactly what you've got going on and he's yeah i understand that but it took me a long time to get there right and he said you need to start one now though and i went well yeah but i don't have to even have the camera equipment and he goes you got a phone i go oh bro i don't want to do it yeah that's the same thing we did and he's he looked at me he said he said he goes why not he said what are you talking about

he said you you've got an iPhone because that thing's got an amazing camera on it yeah he said go get one of those stands, turn it on. It's like $10. Yeah. He goes, turn on. He said, even if you have to just lean it up against a couple of books, he just talk to the camera, post it. And I went, what's that going to do?

I like, nobody's going to watch that. He goes, well, it'll get you monetized. He said, because you're going to get a lot of people that are interested in you, and you'll get monetized. He said, so if you put up a video of a week of you just talking, he just tell the same story, he said, you'll be monetized very quickly. He said, you'll be able to start making money. He said, and it's not so much about the money.

but being monetized helps the algorithm push you because why would the algorithm push your content if they're not making money right right so so he was telling me all these things and honestly the problem part of the problem other than me just being stubborn and me wanting perfection which even right now this is not perfection because i could tell you weren't pleased a little i'm still yeah there's something more in here i could no i listen what else could i had oh listen And if I, if I had, if it was up to me, if I didn't have my girlfriend standing in my way, I would have painted, like, so these walls here should be a dark burgundy, right? Like a dark, dark burgundy. Okay.

I probably would change all of these out to another type of, still would be artwork, right? I would love to have a bunch of con men. Like, I'm slowly making these little con men paintings. These are for my Patreon. So if you join my Patreon, every month you get a conman painting, depending on the tier. So every month, yeah, I would, bro, I got like eight of them now. Like I'm about to order two more. Yeah, they're pretty cool.

Yeah, no, that's bad. The Trump one's funny. Especially when saying con man and you got a Trump man. But I'd like to have all the whole wall kind of filled up with con man painting or things. Like Dory, Dory's got the cool, like, pictures all around. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are badass, those pictures.

I love those. Yeah, he's great. You know what's so great about him? Like, I'll text him and I'll text him and say, hey, and send him, something and he'll come right back and he'll go yeah bro you got to get rid of this oh man i just um he's like that's a good one you know he's yeah so i i was just looking at podcasts i don't know how i ran across his i don't know the first episode i watched andrews i watched bustamante oh yeah yeah and um i just damed julian said hey man we just started a podcast about two weeks ago

julian's great would you want to come on and he said yeah no problems came on and just we just talked just right he had no clue who i was i had no clue who he was he just Answered my DM? Listen, I did that. I did that. So listen to this. So I'd say a year ago, there's a guy named Chip Williamson. We had him the other night.

You know, help. Okay. Thank you. So Chip Williamson, he has a podcast called Crime and Entertainment. Okay. He DM me, right? And honestly, I almost never checked my shit. Like, I'll go weeks without returning people's.

And there are some people that two years ago, DM me a bunch of time? never responded that's why i was a little nervous at the gym when you were like yeah let's get something together i was like is this dude serious right i can't tell well so chip sent me something he said hey man i just started it's not very big it just started i did in the middle of covid i've only had a couple few guests on i would love it if you would come on what can i do to get you on the podcast and just he was so like you know straight up well he was straight up but i went and i looked to the podcast because I've had that happen where some guys got three videos up and all them are dog shit and they're six months apart and it's like stop it bro you have a YouTube account

yeah yeah you just post you don't have a podcast you're not serious if you're not serious then no but I looked at his and he had like whatever 10 12 50 he was doing it like he he had at the very least for the four months or six months he'd been doing it he was serious yeah so I went yeah fine we'll do it we can do it you know I said you know what do you know what do I'm not going to fly in. I don't want to fly in unless you're going to pay me or something. He said, well, I don't really want to pay you. He said, but I can, we'll do a Zoom.

Can we do a Zoom? Like, if you just give me 30 minutes or an hour? And I was like, yeah, that's fine. So we did one. I think I talked for like an hour and change, right? Yeah. We did it. And so a month or so ago, he came, he said, hey, can I, can you talk on the phone?

I was like, yeah, I called him. You know, he called me. I said, what's up? And he said, look. I didn't have, I had barely anybody come in my show. He said, and you were the first big time podcaster. Like I'm not, I wasn't a big time podcaster. Like every time somebody says, I'm like, are you serious?

Big time. You're like, that's ridiculous. Showtime, baby. But he was like, you were the first one to come on and you did it and you were cool about it. And I appreciated it. And I told myself, man, if I ever am in a position to tell my story, I will go on. I'm going to give Matt the first chance to. to do it.

Yeah. What I didn't know was that Chip and his wife, I'm going to give it the short version because we just did the podcast, Chip and his wife had broken up. She started dating another guy. They then got back together. And he was like, okay, well, if we're going to make this work, right? Like, we're going to be together. You got to tell us, you got to get rid of this guy.

Like you got to tell them we're together and you can't see him anymore. She's like, I will. So she tells him, guys, very upset. actually drives around telling like his friends I'm off where's Chip I'm going to kill him and so finally he calms that one of his buddies they're kind of friends right like he kind of know one another they're not friends but they kind of know just in the circle he's been in part of the circle so one of his friends talks to him he comes over they start drinking he says look calm down he's like yeah you're right right he's I don't know I just want to ask him some questions so

he tells chip chip do you want to come over chip go sure he comes over he says you know what do you want to know and he says well you know how long's been going on he's bro honestly we just talked a few times we just made the decision we weren't seeing each other we weren't this we weren't that we just decided we got a kid together we got you know and he's like okay okay so the guy was like okay and then he was supposed to drive the guy home and they go go to chip's house instead they're go to chip's house to do something um because he didn't want to go home or whatever the case may be and while they're there the guy attacks chip like they get into a fucking fight the guy attacks them chips while they're fighting and he's

pushing him back and scream he's like bro I'm gonna fucking kill you if you don't stop you're in like get out of my house where you The guy keeps attacking, he pulls his gun, he shoots him, he kills him three times. Guy hits the fucking, he gets charged with a murder. Even though he's in his house, even though he has a gun and told him to leave, even though he attacked him, even though he gets charged. Well, it goes for a while, right? Like the case drags on and on. Chip gets a, he ends up getting a lawyer.

It drags on and on and on. And finally, finally they drop the charges. Chip tells a story amazingly. He's a great storyteller. And so we just did that podcast like a week ago, Friday? We did it Friday, so a couple days ago. So we did it Friday. And even though I thought, nah, you know, okay, well, you'll tell the story.

That's fine. And he got here and told the story and I was, listen, bro, I was like, I shit you not. I bet you I talked 5%. Yeah. And it was nothing but right, right, right, right. Which I try not to do because I sound like I got into it. Yeah, I feel like I should be doing that and I shouldn't be doing it. I don't know when to do the right.

There was no back and forth just because I was like, holy shit. And only every once in a while I'd be like, yeah, but I don't understand. They said this and this and this. No, that's what I was saying. The last woman we had on our podcast at Cambodian Killing Fields.

Yeah, yeah. And for one, I had no idea that was even a thing in Cambodia. Seriously, I had no idea they had anything like that in Cambodia. It was never taught it or nothing. And she's just talking the whole time. I'm like, I feel like I should say something.

Like, do I ever have to say it? Like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, do I, do I put in now? I don't want to interrupt her story. Should I say something? I don't know. I was just amazed. I didn't want to say anything.

It's horrendous what happened. And actually there's a, I mean, there are documentaries you could watch, but there's actually a movie. I'll find the movie. I can't remember the name of it. But, and literally the person they follow through the whole thing is, it's an amazing story. and they follow this person and eventually that person that they follow this Cambodian

is taken out and comes to the United States to live in the United States at the end of the movie and you're like, wow, like it's a great, like he survived everything and he got here to the United States and he's safe and thank God and he got a job working at 7-Eleven and he got robbed and shot.

Oh, God. In the United States. You survived all that, you got killed in like East Hollywood at your job by some crackhead. Like it was just like That sucks. I could see Connor's upset.

So, but yeah, you watch the movie, you're just like, it's the most horrendous thing. Yeah, that's what she was saying, you know. For one, I thought working 14-hour days in the military was tough. I was like, this just kind of sucks. I just don't want to do this shit, you know? Yeah. And she's like, yeah, it was 16 hours in the rice fields. What were you doing for 16 hours in the rice field?

Bent over doing the same thing. In the rice fields. In your mind, the, whole time like these have to be some of the mentally same people in the world most you're outside all day just thinking to yourself all day just turning something right just trying to figure something out that's what i don't know no music i don't know yeah no iPhone nothing no no apple ipad the way she had to escape they so they were getting liberated and now the camp started picking up and moving deeper into the forest every two weeks yeah yeah and so she was finally like like we moved three times now

I don't think we'll even survive if we keep moving. So now she goes to her three friends and says, look, we got to get out of here. And they just walk. They just walked. They just walked away. Miles on miles on miles trying to just find a city or something. Eventually she finds someone and she's like,

where's my hometown? And they just point. She walks that way. Where's my hometown? And they just point. And she walks that way. Until she eventually finds her home. Then she had one, she meets one guy.

He says, he knows it's that way, but he points that. Just because I like to mess with these people. And they keep wandering out of the rice fields. Yeah, I think. Have you my dad? Oh, yeah, it's right. The, you know what's funny is you hear people complain about like the U.S. Mm-hmm.

And it's like, and whenever I hear them complaining, I was looking at them. I was just think like, you have no. Have you been anywhere? Have you been anywhere? What life is like other places? Yeah. What like you have no conflict. Like, you're concerned that you want me to refer to you as he, she, they.

Like, you're a fucking idiot. And, and, and, and you have any idea that, like, that, that, that have, that, that, if you in the Ukraine right now, he said that, like, your neighbor would be like, what? Oh, hell. Boom. Like, you'd be like, this, what's the moment? I was watching a video and a dude went to, um, an African village, just African Village said, do you guys have

transgender? Do you have transgender? What's the word for it? I don't know what you're talking. We don't have a word for that. They don't even have a word for it. No, no. A man who become a woman and they just laughed at him. The whole tribe just starts like, ah, no, that's crazy. We would never do that here.

Are you insane? It's unbelievable. Is it the president of Uganda or something that they were saying, he was saying that there was no homosexuals in Uganda. Not allowed. We do not have that therapy. We killed them. We this, me that. And they're like, well, yeah, I can't believe they do. Stop, bro. Don't be. You're being silly. You're just being you're just making up reasons to complain. Yeah. And then, well, if you just listen to the podcast with this lady and I told her at the end, I can't believe you're just smiling about it.

Like she was laughing with us the whole time. It made it so easy for me because I didn't have to be like, can I laugh? Yeah. You know, like she was so joyful and laughing. I'm like, how could you do this? And then at age 65, this old, still just be so joyful. And that was my grandma. My grandma was the same way. She gets called. You got stage four pancreatic cancer. She's just like, all right. And then it goes back to smiling and, you know, like nothing happened. I guess we'll take care of this. Yeah, I guess there's got to be something I got to figure out, huh? Yeah. It's the same trip, man. It's crazy how people, and then I look at it. I'm like, oh, I got cheated on. I'm not the first one to get cheated on. I'm not the first one to get

Cheated him. Dude, go back to work. Go get shit done. Yeah, it's, it's, you know, like the life is so much harder in so many places. And not just that, well, oh, it was same thing. Listen, man, Jordan Peterson. My time I'm talking about this guy left. I love Jordan Peterson, but he would be my dream to talk to him. He puts things in perspective. And it's so, yeah, he just, because he thinks about it so long, man. What, you know, one of the things was like, would you love the happy, I was it, um, who does he say, the Rockefellers? Like, like, let's say the Rockefellers. Would you like, let's say the Rockefellers. Would you like, would you like? like to be um um shoot i can't even think whatever somebody who is filthy rich back in 19 in the 1910s 1920s like you know um and you know jp morgan or someone whatever yeah and and you know most people would say oh my god i would love that like you yeah go back in time and you can become as wealthy as him and that's it but you have to live in 1920 yeah nope but they most people like yeah man And I, yeah, it's like, no, bro. You would never do that. You could, if you got an abscess tooth, you could die.

If you got the cold, you could die. If you got cut, you could die. There's no penicillin. There's no, like all of the things that you take for advantage. Like kids, they used to have, you know, they'd have five kids because three of them would die. Yeah. No, that's, even though I'm Hitler's family. Hitler's family, like all of his brothers and sisters died at like three.

Yeah. Two, three, six months. Yeah. This is just common. fertility rate that's just what it was back then it's just common like that's it you could there are all kinds of horrible things that were happening on a regular basis and so all the money in the world doesn't mean anything i mean to me if you've got like a if you have like a like you've no idea the joy that people get out of this they don't they take it for granted like and i think that part of it is that's the reason why you've got 22 year old kids who don't have jobs who don't have jobs why would they have a job i can stay home and play on my iPhone Man, I think I was just talking to my dad about this. Just because ever since COVID, just the service, ever since COVID, the service everywhere. Oh, it's just sucked.

Just everywhere. Every restaurant, every home depot, everywhere. It just seems like it just went straight downhill. Yeah, I almost feel like there was better service before I went to prison. They were a Nashville. Oh, I had service everywhere. I get out now as I'm driving from my complex to Wesley Chapel area. Like there's an area where it just stops.

Yeah. The gym sucks. Oh, yeah, brutal, brutal, brutal. How does the gym suck? There's a ton of stuff everywhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, well, you're not on this plan. You're not on this plan.

You would think they would have fixed that shit by now. By now it should be fixed. Yeah. Like, it's been 40 years. I'm using these things to the 90s, 30 years. So those things are brutal, though. They're going around too much. Everyone has one.

Which that's why I like the internet, though. Everyone has a phone. So you can kind of. contact anyone. Being able to call this lady from Cambodia, or not from Cambodia, but we survived Cambodia, just lives down the road and I met her through the internet. If you can use the internet the right way, and I said this last year, that was my, literally my New Year's resolution. I talked to my dad. I said, I have every piece of information I could ever want right here. I just need to learn how to use this, the proper way, and I will be set up for

success. Because these are going to be around forever. Oh, listen, I'm writing, I was writing a story right now, and part of Jess's conspiracy is like they were bringing, well, part of the conspirators, you know, they're bringing in meth or the cartels bringing in meth down like 75, right? Part of the way they would get to Fort Myers and then they break it

apart, right? So they so one of my contacts, the guy I'm talking to about it, is he's talking about how they would put it on airboats and go through the Everglades and Big Cyprus. Oh, like the fan boats? Yeah, yeah, it's a big airboat. Yeah, yeah.

So they put them on that. Why? Because 75 in Alligator Alley are heavily are heavily patrolled by like the highway patrol, right? Yeah, yeah. So but if we go through the Everglades, even if we were to get caught in, it's first, it's very lightly patrolled. So even if somebody saw you and one, most of the time you see a game war, you see anybody, you're just going. They're like, hey, like he's not doing anything wrong. We have no reason to pull this guy or he's just going.

So, but even if you got pulled over, then you. you just punch it and you throw the stuff out and it sinks immediately. Like, you're good. I can go around this weed, throw it out, throw it out, throw it out, what's he going to do? He's done. I'm done. It's not mine. So, but they, they, so as I'm looking, I'm like, God, who patrols the Everglades? Do you know how long that would have taken me to figure out who patrols the Everglades? Oh, yeah, Colin. Yeah, oh yeah, it's five, there's five different, there's three different, um, county sheriff's departments that cover it and there's the parks department and the DEA has a present

has it everglades yes it's broken up into like five or six different districts that they all kind of share so but very quickly I found an article that talks about how insane it is that no one group um uh is responsible for patrolling it each one has a section because it falls within certain yeah uh uh uh counties it runs through all these different orders and all yeah so very quickly i figured that out the other thing is like just as we are going as we're talking and i'm like okay well who is that and she's like um she'll go hold on she'll look him up she'll yeah yeah he that guy was arrested on this state on this on this look there's an article look that's him look i told you that's what i did i was like i looked over i walked in i saw your

at the gym saw your girlfriend she looked jack she stood up and now she's standing next to a dude with grown hair like this. I'm like, all right, hang on, no. I know this hair. You know what he said? He said, I thought you'd be taller. That's what he said. You haven't, you said.

Anyway. So I thought you'd be taller. I didn't think you'd be as jacked. I said that at least. Yeah. So that's kind of weighted out. Didn't make, no, it didn't. No, it didn't.

Because I heard that. I was trying. I'm driving home and Jess is snickering and I go, what? He said, he said, he thought you'd be taller. That's why I'm here right now. I'm not to call my friend. If I don't make it out of here, guys, I get Epstein in here.

But you were able to. But yeah, I just looked you up and the first thing was like, your original mug shot. I was like, no, that's not the guy I know. So then I just pulled up,

went to you two, pulled up concrete. I got the hair now. Yeah, I got the hair. And I got the nose is fixed. Yeah. You said the nose is?

No. My nose is fixed. My nose is different there. It was round. It was bulbous. It was much more round. So when you went in there, To get it fixed, did you tell them I need it this way?

Or you just like, just change my appearance, please? No, no, I just, he went in and I said, you know, my nose, like I wanted a little bit more. He goes, yeah, yeah, a little less bulbous. And I thought, oh, you just knew right away. Damn, like, you didn't have to throw bulbous. Like, I didn't even know there was a word for it, but that upset me. Like, I immediately thought, like, you know, like, Rudolph. Whoa, dude.

Like, hey, hey, hey. He's coming right out my nose like that. So, yeah, but he was like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you want it more straight, more. I was like, yes. He's like, okay. So he said, yeah, yeah, I got you. That was it.

So I texted Julian and Danny right away on Twitter. I said, I could spot your hair from a mile away. That's an easy one, man. Look it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, let's end it now. Yeah, be bad.

So you're, so the, you've got the channel. You do the channel with your buddy. Yeah. So we got a, got our channel. It's wherever you give podcast, Mind Over Matter. And, yeah, we're starting, that's what I was trying to tell you. It's a little slower. I got a couple episodes in the bank, but we're trying to build another business, too,

digital marketing business. Right. So we're doing both at once, but yeah, just mind over matter. Yeah, definitely. So, you need, yeah, you got to get monetized. Yeah, that's the biggest thing, man. And you've got two ways, organic or you pay for it. Now you're just paying to get monetized.

And then the other way is organic. takes a minute and like honestly I know like listen I know I know I know a guy that basically he pays to have all of his videos pushed yeah he's paying for subscribers he's paying for and you know in the end it first of all there's a chance you can get banned you know from YouTube we just shut your shit down so it maybe that doesn't work you lose your money and your channel and the other problem is that you know ultimately you're not really building longevity yeah it's an illusion you're creating an illusion you just want to get get the money now right yeah the best bet is for you to just go on just like this like i said in the gym just go on several podcasts very quickly

you'll get you'll get you'll you'll get monetized and you've already got the videos you've already got a bunch of videos that are up yeah exactly that was the another big thing is just getting a bank before we start going out to people and saying look we got to just like you said you know i have someone come up to you and say hey i got a podcast and i got like three episodes over the course six months yeah some shit like you're not serious like like i don't want to i don't want to go and and interview somebody and then four months later they stop posting yeah and this yeah that's another me my me and my co-hosts it's like when someone tells me they have a podcast you're like god you like respected dude more well i know what goes into doing a podcast so if you're serious and you got a podcast hands off to you

let's talk you know the other thing is like once you get monetized and you continue to put them up like here's the thing it's almost like going into real estate right Like the average guy that goes into real estate, maybe he puts some money down, he buys a duplex. He collects that, the rent on the duplex. It's really a break-even kind of thing. So, you know, you're kind of like for all the money you might make over the next year, then somebody leaves. You have to clean up the whole place. You have to put it out in the market.

And you lose that money. And then you're starting over. So there are some benefits to being able to for writing off the depreciation and certain things like that. But here's what it does is that it allows you to kind of put money aside and buy another duplex and then slowly another duplex and slowly another. You can't quit your job. You know, you're not going to buy a duplex and quit your job. But you can buy one every few years. And then 10 years from now, it's paying all your bills.

In 30 years from the first one you bought, the mortgage is paid off. So the little bit of money you were making on that one, boom. Yeah. And this is what YouTube is. Yeah, all the higher-ups in the military do that with their houses. So like the 20-year people, because the VA loan, you get every two years, you get a new house. So that's what all they do, they get a new house, and then they get stationed somewhere else, get a new house, right, that one. And now they've been spending 20 years in the military, got six houses all over there.

And now they're getting pension, their houses. And then suddenly that, then the mortgages get paid off. Yep. And then suddenly that you were making a profit of $200 a month. Suddenly it becomes $1,400 a month. And you're like, whoa. Right. But that's long-term.

Yeah. It's work. But to me, that's YouTube. Like, like, you know, it's not making a ton of money, but every month it's making a little bit more and a little bit more and a little bit. And there's always a chance, just like with real estate, there's always a chance that, you know, suddenly you own these two houses and the school district comes in and says, look, that house you bought for $100,000, we want to buy that land for $350. And you go, oh, my God. Yeah. It's insane.

Like that happens. That's happened to me. But, you know, so there's always that shit. There's always a chance I have a couple of videos. The next thing you know, my channel blows up. But even if it doesn't, if I just keep doing what I'm doing. And you feel good. Well, it gives you purpose.

Yes. That's the number one thing, especially with all the veterans. They've been just like prison. You go to prison. You got this set schedule. You set eating. They tell you everything you have to do. And you get it out.

And now you have no one telling you what to do at all. You have no purpose anymore because it just ended like that. So you got to find something quick. Yeah. Because if you don't, you end up in the part of the 22. Yeah. You know, I mean, the other thing is, too, there are communities. Like, like to me, like I don't mind helping out other YouTubers because I get it.

Just like you said, I know what you're going through. I know what you're doing. I don't mind helping you out. I don't mind answering questions. I don't mind that because I get it. And there are, like I said, there are communities. A lot of guys are willing to help each other. and there are communities like there's pod fest and there are these different types of

of groups that get together and they help one another yeah and this is for almost anything like i've found this out with um with our digital marketing thing too you just end up running into people entrepreneurs or whatever and they genuinely care to help and it's just it it's something that you don't find often it's an easy thing to do too like especially a podcast no one no one reads too much anymore right that's a given so sorry Is it coming from all the way over there? Yeah, only because it's connected to my computer and I don't know how to shut it off.

Like I can turn this off. If somebody calls, my computer still rings. Sometimes I'll turn the volume down or Twitter on the mute. Then it doesn't do it, but I didn't do that at this idea. But yeah, you end up finding a group and whatever you create, especially when you're creating something. Because if you're creating something, other people are creating it. And now you got, you always come together.

It's always ended up. up in a community no one ends up doing it alone yeah no one ends up it's an effort yeah and then it's an easy way for someone else to see you're trying to make an effort you don't want to you don't want to show up to someone and say hey 30 years old what'd you do uh well was in the army for four years and night let next six i just lived off my paycheck yeah yeah yeah you want to be oh i got this going on i got this going on i got this going on and then they're like oh well how could i help you yeah yeah yeah so yeah people are always yeah yeah definitely all right but thank you Thank you. Thank you so much, man. No, I, no problem. I appreciate it. So I'm going to make sure that, so we'll leave the link to your YouTube channel in the description. And yeah, definitely, definitely. I mean, good luck. And we'll have to do it again and we'll see how the channel grows. We'll keep coming back. And I appreciate you coming.

Yeah, mine's just online too. Or if I get, I'm supposed to move here soon too. So my podcast, everything, like I don't, do in-person podcast. It's all over. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's like a Zoom. Like Zoom. I always say Zoom, even if it's Stream Yard. We do Discord. It's free and easy. But, yeah, it's all online. So I'm supposed to be moving here soon. So hopefully if I get a place, I could start setting up something and we could have you on. Hey, I appreciate you guys watching. And if you like the video, do me a favor and hit the

subscribe button. Hit the bell. So you get notified of videos like this. Share the video. And leave me a comment in the comment section. Also, I'm going to I'm going to leave the description, I'm sorry, in the description box, I'll leave the link to Mind Over Matter. And yeah, that's pretty much it. I appreciate it. And, oh, I have a Patreon. Join my Patreon.

It's like 10 bucks. It's like 10 bucks. And there's going to be a bunch of little, well, there's little Patreon commercials. Oh, bro, I have these patients on commercials. You got commercials. You got paintings, commercials. I got nothing, man. I got merch.

It's a nice hat, I guess. No way. I got, look. Oh, wait. Here, I'll say, right. I got, hold on, hold on, I'm going to show you right now. Look, look at this commercial. Do you like, get it made by someone?

No, I made it, bro. I know what I'm doing. I'm good at this. Watch, look. He's been known to cure insecurity just with his laugh. What? His organ donation card lists his charisma. His smile is so contagious.

Vaccines have been created for it. He is the most interesting man in the world. I don't typically commit crime. but what I do it's bank fraud look wait support this

that's my Patreon there we go listen I have never seen something like that actually I'm not going to think about it I've not really seen

a Patreon what look I got I got like $6000 I got like six a little ago would Julian show you how to make those

those look just like his those are good man no Julian's are better Julian knows really knows what he's he really has like a system he's very good at it um it takes them like 12 hours to make oh no but i i only did this so i only do these these run in the like as we're going all of

a sudden it'll break to a commercial so i have yeah it'll break to one of these not not in the this is the like the shorts version yeah yeah but i actually have a wide version that will play and so they'll they'll play and i you know just just just for patreon and so people join the patreon wow um like I'm also doing them so that I can, I'm going to put at the end of the podcast, I'm going to start doing it so that I made all these videos about my books. So I have these shorts that are one minute, somewhere a minute and 20 seconds or so. And they're basically the back jacket cover of the book where I read it. And it's the same thing, just like this. Like it has a guy talks about this guy or that, whoever I did the thing on. Same thing. I'm going to play

those. Like, you know, I'm trying to, because, you know, it's more of a business now. Yeah, and YouTube doesn't pay all the bills And I forget to say Join Patreon Click that like button And all that shit And they can mind too The average person is only watching

Out of a two hour video They might watch 25% You should probably do your outro You can interrupt it I'm fine with it I'm fine with it I'm fine with it I mean

Click that like button alone But I'll just finish it So whatever you But honestly, you can play, I don't care. Listen, the idea that anybody's going to watch this much of the podcast, nobody gets to this point. Right. Nobody gets to this point. Right.

You probably cut it off after you said, all right, you guys ready? I dropped the whole wanting to be perfection thing. I dropped that a long time ago. These guys are still going for that. They're still like, yeah, you really need to do this. Stop. Nobody's watching. So, all right.

So I appreciate it. Thank you very much. Leave me a comment in the comment section. join Patreon so I can work more on taking this more seriously. I appreciate you guys watching. Thank you. See ya.