Matthew Cox | Inside True Crime Podcast - Big Lance On Prison Gangs And Starting Over At 44

Episode Date: May 24, 2023

Big Lance On Prison Gangs And Starting Over At 44

We went from literally 10 members to three months later, like 50. Then I got moved of state, and it blew up to 300. We were going to be the most violent. We were going to display a certain degree of violence if we had to. We were going to take over any yard we had to. That's what it was going to be, smash off lanes, whatever we were going to do. You could preach all the honor, loyalty, respect that you want, but there's no honor amongst these.

There's not. You know, when you have a bunch of misfits who are just like crabs, reaching out, pulling each other down all the time, nobody can get to the top. What we were doing was we were running dead people's taxes, man. And if we were doing taxes, like, this guy, he was a, you know, white-collared dude, he got locked up in the state, they were messing with him. We got took him under the ring.

You know, now, looking back on all of it, if I could make better choices, of course I would. Hey, this is Matt Cox, and I'm here with Lance from Off the Yard He's got a YouTube channel He's got a true crime story And we're gonna be looking into it And so check this out

So I appreciate you coming on Thanks for them Yeah Have you been interviewed by some other people right Like you were on Oh shoot What is it? Is it locked up I've been on

I've been on lockdown 231 Blood on Razor Wire D-O-CT TV, that's a lot of, I've been a lot of channels. Jay Williams, Les of Life. So, you know, it's, I've told their story, but, you know, it's, it's one of the stories I think that relates to everybody that's been down that road, man. You know, so there's pieces of my story that pertain to a lot of different people, man. I think that's why I've been able to reach the people that I've been able to reach.

all right well let's let's get into it so what so i mean you know unlike you know what we were saying before we started was that you know like the i'm more more interested in like the prison story like you know where you were raised how you were raised what got you into committing crime that sort of thing like what got you to prison that i think a lot of the channels okay so we you know i was I was born in Lin-Mans, and it's a very poor area, outside of Boston. My mom and I were just pretty much alone with dad-dipped. You know, she bounced from place to place, guy to guy, whatever, you know, and it was just, you know, is what it was what it was.

We moved to Virginia when I was very young, 11, 12 years old, man. And she met her husband at her husband, She's still with her daddy, who I never got along with. I rebelled early, and he was... How old were you? This was... Huh? How old were you when she got remarried?

I was about eight or nine, and then after they got married, we ended up moving to Virginia. And he was... He was old school, man. He was really hands-on type of dude, man. And, like, everything that... you did wrong it wasn't whether you're going to get hit it was how many times you know what i mean so he didn't drink or do any any type of drugs he just was mean and they had a they had a son together and i think i was just kind of a cost of reminder for her of where she came from man and and where she

you know she wasn't proud of so you know as a child you feel that you know i don't care if your parents are trying to hide it from me which mightn't work but you feel it and if you if you're a young man or a young boy growing up you need nurturing you need love you need you need certain things or you're going to grow up the hand all right so you know i started to act what i was dealing with at home out in public at 12 13 years old i've already done a couple juby stints for fighting in school um and I didn't get along with other kids because I felt like the stuff that they were complaining about was peanuts, you know. So, you know, the more wrapped up in the system I got as juvenile, the easier it became to do time. First time, obviously, I was like, I think it was 11, the first time I went to Juvee, and I cried.

You know, I had to 10 days, and I was crying. I wanted to go home and all that. By the third time, I think it was better there than it was while I was living in it. So I dealt with it, man. And I guess, you know, anybody that's been locked up, it surprisingly adapts well sometimes to being incarcerated. But when I would come out, you know,

I wasn't getting any help in there. You know what I'm so? I'm coming out just mad as I went in. And now by the time, 1516 I'm a Convee You know I mean Because some of those jury centers

Are worse than any prison I've ever been in man You know as far as You know because you you have a 14 15 old kids Doing life sentences in there That are doing you know They're staying there 21 And then they're going to Jew to prison To do 20, 30 years or life

Or whatever they're doing And You know How do you You know I don't know It was just it was odd to go in and out In and out

You know, I felt like I had to come out and improve, like, when you're incarcerated, you have to prove yourself all the time. You got to prove how tough you are. Prove you're not a punk, whatever. So when you come out as a child, you're going back into high schools or whatever, you take that same mentality. You don't last long. So, you know, I ended up going in for a couple years to a place called Beaumont, which was like the baddest of the bad year. in Virginia where I live at

and when I got out of there I could tell like I was different you know what I mean like I knew that something had changed I knew that I wasn't like the carefree

or whatever kid I used to be and I didn't know how to function out here Matt you know what I didn't know how to work a job because I couldn't take a boss telling me what to do because yeah he's hurt my pride you know what I You know, it's just always about, and it's just, it's really, it's stupid, but it's real, man.

It's, it's coming. So I, I went to doing what I do, what I did, man, Rob and Steele and Petal Doe. How old were you? Okay, so the first time I went to prison was 1997, and I was 17 years old. And I got, you know, Charlie got mixed up in some real bad stuff, and I was looking at a lot of time. um so by the crime people got hurt um as is it a robbery is this like a robbery or it was a it was a it was a carjacking it was a and so was it was the original charge um which was later messed with in plea bargains was attempted murder carjacking and strong remark that was

the original charges um you basically got sorry go ahead the authority We lorded a kid back in the woods Dude I knew from school And basically I beat him real bad Robbed and stole his car You know what I mean But in the state of Virginia

I beat it was kind of You can't carjacks on unless you take him out of the door He was already out of the car You know what I mean so that was dropped in the ban The attempt to homicide They couldn't prove that You know they obviously they trumped it up So I plead out

Played out the first fence which was like A Filoni's saw or something like that and then the robber so ended up getting uh six and a half years for that and um but the problem was when i got when i got sent to the county jail being that young you know it was like i felt like i had to prove myself again i'd earned it in the juvenile system right but now i'm around main so in reality i'm terrified yeah right i'm not really bad bad as i'm It's terrified. So I, in my, I don't have, like, in my, in my mentality, it wasn't like a fight or flight issue.

It was always just go head head on, man. And so I started doing the same thing, man, lashing out, violence, violent, violence, and got my bell wrong numerous times. Because I'm a kid, you know, so by my chest was charges. I ended up in a supermax. So my first prison sin was in a supermax at 18 years old. How much time? that was for the six years that was when I the first

time I went as an adult and I went to a place called Sussex One they had just built these new prisons in Virginia they were closing the old ones down and they had built these supermaxes they were modeled after like Pelican Bay and things like that

they had Wallins Ridge Red onion and Sussex One and that's where I went Sussex One and um they had the high profile from guys there you know it was it was a it was a It was prison.

You know, you have, you have, you have correctional facilities, and you have state prison. And that was a state of prison. So that's where I was, man. And that's where I stayed. I couldn't level down. Couldn't behave myself, got into everything, and just, I embraced being a gangster. That's what I wanted to be. Because I didn't think I was worth anything else.

I didn't think that there was any other life for me. Because all I could remember was this. So. Right. that's kind of what it was and that was well that's how you've been surviving thus far too like you don't know anything else that's how you've been surviving since you were a little kid so

what what alternative is there and a lot of people say well you could turn your life on yeah yeah that's I guess a possibility but when you you don't have that you know you don't there's nobody telling you that you know high size 2020 whatever you know you can look back and say I would have could have but you know I'm you

know I talked to you know my girlfriend did like five years right and like when everybody she knows has gone to prison they're all selling drugs they're all like you don't even have a she doesn't even have a role model like you know even when she's like I want to change it you don't even have somebody to help guide you you know what I'm saying so I get that I you know and I would meet guys all the time where you hear their fucking lives and you're like this two don't have a chance like he got he got nobody to even even uh point him in the right direction so i mean i i i you know i hear as you're saying like i i can and you know you can see it's easy to say oh you could have this you could have that but it's just it's not that easy when you don't

have anybody pointing you in that direction i hope you're enjoying the video i have a quick word from our sponsor stand edge watches we're doing a promotion with stand right now where they're offering a watch that they sell for typically three hundred dollars They're selling that watch through the channel for $200. The first 10 people that send me an email saying that they want a watch, I will arrange payment with them and shoot you a watch out as quickly as possible. They're great watches. They come in a bunch of different colors, and I really like them.

I appreciate you guys watching. Go in the description box where my email is, and you can send me an email. See you. and everybody you every time every time you get back out you go back to the same situation with the same people and they're trying to

you know they're crabs they're trying to hold you down they don't want to see you get out but that's all you got right ad but see them that you know and so you come out and it's like

you forget you just did all them years you forget where you just came from real fast and I tell guys like when I mentor and I talk to people now it's like the first thing I tell them to come out like this don't forget that guy you just left okay because it's in a matter of

weeks you're going to be back in a full swing of thing and you can see them old people man and my mistakes were always the same ones man and and i always always tell my my my my my my girl like i'm the dumbest smart person i've ever met my life you know what i mean like i just make bad decisions and it's true but i didn't understand like at the time bad they were you know because it was just a game to me cops and robbers really i didn't care because what did i really add you know so even in the jail i was still trying to like i wanted a family dude and i wanted to have camaraderie i wanted to be a part of a tribe you know i wanted that and i never had from very early i was like hurry up and get out man we are we just don't you so

that's what led me to later on life you know with the next long bid that I did becoming a gang member so I became a gang member on my last I was 30 years old you know what I mean this is this is the crazy

thought process and I had never really like cared about being in a gang never cared about anything that they were talking about and then I found the organization I became a part of and I don't know if it was timing or if it was my my old wisdom or whatever

you know it was it was all crap and I fed right into it hook gliding sinker and they saw someone that they could push to the top that was going to go 100% and I did and almost lost the rest of my life

you know what I mean and almost got a RICO case over like it was you know it went from a corny little jail gang to something very big very fat so what do you got wait so

what are you doing like you're saying that they push you to the top what does that mean what do you what are you guys doing so when I found the gang and it was like I would say 2012 yeah 2012

I automatically wanted to be the best, right? I wanted to show these guys that I was a part of them, they were a part of me, and loyalty is something very big to me, right, because I've never had it, and I've always given it. And it's been something that it's just a constant broken heart all the time because I put faith in so many people because I want to feel that. I want to be reciprocated. I don't get that.

So when I started to feel it, I embraced it. And I thought the only way I could keep it was to be the most violent, savage person I could be because that's what they want. Right. Right. And it's, yeah. So, and it was the same manipulative shit that I preached to the people that I was with coup. Of who I go back today and apologize to you daily. Because, and, well, back to, so what I.

would do is in the jail before I went down the road or whatever I was ended up they either put me in a whole my last six months in jail because I was just causing too many problems you know there and all these little dudes were starting to follow us around and they were starting to we were getting big you know what I mean I mean I mean we're sitting in we went from literally 10 members to three months later like 50 then I got moved a state and it blew up to 300 and it was just I mean everywhere you went you started seeing this stuff. So the point of the matter was we were going to be the most violent. We were going to display a certain degree of violence if we had to. We were going to take over any

yard we had to. That's what it was going to be, smash off lanes, whatever we were going to do. And we called ourselves protecting, you know, this or protecting that. But we were only protecting somebody if it benefited us. You know what I mean? That's just, that's what gangs do. Right. So you could preach all the honor or loyalty and respect that you want, but There's no honor amongst these. There's none. You know, when you have a bunch of misfits who are just like crabs, reaching out, pulling each other down all the time,

nobody can get to the top. The only person is at the top is the one to start there. So, you know, the people up top, I guess, you know, they liked what they saw, man, and we were going fast, and all they saw were dollars. You know, what can we kick to them? so I sacrificed I lost a lot of good son you know by this time I know I had a son so my last time being out I had a son he was a baby when I went in um but I had contact with him and it amazes me to this day it's divine intervention I thank God every day that I'm even out anymore like I shouldn't be out um to see him grow because he was a teenager when I come home and uh I had the opportunity to be a father now, which is great.

You know, and it's just very fulfilling. But there was a point in time when I was coming close to the end of my bid, and that's when the Fed showed up. And they're like, look, this is what we have. And we have proof that what we were doing was we were running dead people's taxes, man. And if we were doing taxes, like, this guy, he was a, you know, white-collar dude. He got locked up in the state. They were messing with him.

We kind of took him under the ring. And it was like, you know, hang with us. Nothing will happen to you, blah, blah. He starts talking about this. Like he does with patches or whatever. And I'm like, look, I don't know any of that you're talking about. You know, you're bypassing all this. So take care of it.

We'll make sure you get fed, whatever. Which we did. We know we kept our word, but it got them on my line. And when they got on my line, they started to see hits. They started to see by the violence. They started to see. Um, he's doing the tax drop. He's doing the drop from inside of a prison with your help, with y'all's house.

Yeah, I mean, he never, he never got out. He stayed in there. He's filling out the taxes. He was just mailing them off and getting them back. He had somebody in the street that was helping. I don't know who that was. Yeah, no, he was doing all of it. He was just orchestrating, I guess, is what it was.

Yeah. No, yeah, no, he wasn't doing it all, but he was definitely. nobody was doing you know what i'm saying okay what year was this this was 20 17 shit that was that was really booming by then like that that scam really blew you know blew up over the course of like 2015 to you know well shoot a little earlier like it got really big but so from doing it from inside of a state prison that's difficult but yeah okay but i hear you yeah he i mean like i said he had somebody he talked to out there i don't know i didn't ask that that wasn't my business i mean so you know it was it was very lucrative though man whenever he was doing and but it

ended up getting because they were using one of my p-o boxes and that's how they got in my line so yeah so anyway when he comes to talk and he says But this was originally why we were looking at you. He said, now we're looking at you for a week going to die. He said, because you want to be a gang leader. You know, they had, and it's like, I told you all, it's like CSI. When they got like picture and all like the thing, they literally had that. You know what I mean?

It was like, I thought it was kind of extra. I was like, because I'm in the hole. We didn't get transferred out of Greensville because we had got into a big argument with some A-Bs there, got to fight with them. And they locked me up. I've been home for like three months. And he comes to business. He shows up and like, I don't know who he was when he showed up because I'd never seen him on a prison.

I knew he wasn't a gang investigators. I knew all them. He showed up in like flip-flops in like a photo shirt and like, I was like, oh, fuck's this guy. I like, I'm like talking crap at first. I was like, what's up, man, who are you? And he's like, I'm such such from February investigations.

I was like, when he said that, I knew it was real, man. And I was like, yeah, we ain't in Kansas anymore. You know what I'm saying? Like, when I tell people, like, when you have those types of people at you, that's a 95% conviction rate, man. You're not beaten them. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, by the time they're talking to you, you got problems. Yeah. Not much you can say at this point. You're just, you got, you got an issue. You're already on a, you're already listed on an indictment somewhere, probably. Yeah, I was to be. Field indictment. That's what he had.

He added like a folder. And it was a sealed indictment. I didn't know what that meant. But I was like, it doesn't sound good, but it doesn't sound like it's over. I was like, what's,

what's up? You know what I mean? Like, he was like, well, that kind of depends on you. He said, basically,

look, we, we don't really, the tax shit, whatever, you didn't make enough money really us care about. Um,

but this other stuff has got some people worry. You know what I mean? Because people are getting hurt. And you're going to cross state lines. So that's, Another thing, too, is that we were going to, like, talking to people from Maryland, talking to people in the federal system.

They were copying letters from Lewisburg and ADX from all of us. And it was just, it was a, it was, they was trying to put me in with Sweeney and Rock. You know what I mean? Like, they were like, all the DMI stuff is going to, we're going to crush it right now. So, you know, I told, well, I'm not going to debrief or anything. They were like, I'm not here to do that, you know, but anything else that we get that pertains to you, point in the finger to say anything, you're going to prison for the rest of your life.

Basically, like, we're going to bring this up. We don't want to get into a big and messy tribe. That's what he was like. He's like, I don't want to try it with this right now. You know what I'm saying? It's not, he said, I'm coming to you because I know you got a kid. Like, I'm trying to be a good human being here.

Now I saw you to be a good one. And I walked away. I went on the yard, my next yard, man, and, you know, just pretty much said what it was. do the truth. And at that point time, I was 40 years old. I mean, I'd done all the stuff. I had

nothing to show for it. You know what I mean? There was no camaraderie. The minute I got locked up, half my guys were snitching on me. You know what I mean? So my guys were the ones telling these people what I was doing. So, wait, so

the agent gave you an opportunity to try and fix it, work with him, talk to him, something. You said no. And you left? No, he, he knows. No, no, he never asked me to work with him. What he said was they didn't want to go through a, they want to bring up a trial. He was like, we're not going to bring up a trial for this.

He was like, because honestly, he's like, it's petty gangbang bullshit. He said, but the gang investigator that was there named Duke, right, he was the one that was kind of pushing it. He was like, it's out of state's hands. We can't control him. you know what I mean so it might have been a scare tactic I don't know what he had in at him I don't know I didn't want to know but they said basically we don't want to hear your fucking name again yeah like just walk away do the rest of your time walk out get out but if your name comes up again I was a year to the door and he was like you're getting ready to go to re-entry and he's like you don't seem like a bad dude man he was like I get it but you need to get it like you're gonna you're gonna you're gonna you're gonna You're not going home if you don't. This is what I'm telling you. And, you know, I never read it on it.

I never told him, never rolled, I didn't do any of that. Because there really wasn't another. Who was I going to roll him? Me? You know what I mean? They're like, oh. So that was, that was the tournament point, man. Like, it was one thing for like, I knew I wasn't going to see my son anymore.

You know what I mean? Because it was hard enough to get it for him to give. to Virginia, when I should say that someday if there was a shimmel up to Pennsylvania or wherever, West Virginia, wherever, you know what I mean? So,

but even with all that going on, it was still hard. Because it was all I had. You know what I was? It was all I had. Mm-hmm. So, Martin was like, maybe I can out smart.

You know, maybe I can, maybe I can be slick. You know what I mean? Jogadi wasn't slick. You know? You know what I mean? Like, I just, I don't know, man. I'm not that smart.

So it wasn't, it wasn't worth it for me to keep, you know, try to do that, man. But that's pretty much, you know, why, you know, I was doing those things, man. I think it was all because I just wanted to own, bro, didn't have one. My own was prison. I became prison, you know, and everything about prison is violence. and um just you know somebody trying to get get over all the time even nice people in the world just trying to get over so law enforcement often questions him not because he's suspected of a crime but because they find him fascinating he is the most interesting man in the world

I don't typically commit crime, but when I do, it's bank fraud. Stay greedy, my friends. Support the channel. Join Matthew Cox's Patreon. You know, now looking back on all of it, if I could make better choices, of course I would. You know, of course I would go back and say, you know, I don't think I should do that. You know, maybe not today. So when you got released, you went back to the same.

town same place I went to a motel room um no haply house uh nobody would take me because that a violent crime right

my Pio gave me three days in a motel um which I met a girl real quick she was crazy whatever I had to do something

right and uh about about you know about I'd say two months after that I met who's my ex now

but my ex Brandy who I moved in with her and went to wrist so that was all right you know what I mean I was living in normal life

you know what I'm saying like I was working living in suburbs you know didn't really fit in but hey I was like you know walked outside in the morning

hey Bob you know like but but I wasn't like happy and I didn't know why because this was all ever wanted, right? Just wanted this light, bro, do-da-da-da-da.

And I got with a chick who was the complete opposite to me because I thought that's what I needed to. And almost immediately we're bumping heads. You know, because it's one thing to get like the, what is it, the opposite of the track thing and, you know, hang out for a couple weeks or whatever. When you're trying to, like, live together, raise kids, and, like, we just see the world very different.

You know, and it's, we, we don't have the same goggles on. So we argued a lot. And then eventually, you know, that, that's been, semi-spirling, you know, and, you know, I think as, as ex-cons or addicts or whatever, man, were so susceptible to the feeling sorry for yourself, you know, like, we, we use it for everything, you know, like, I used it. You know, I used it. You know, I used it in front of the world, man. I had to come on my platform.

And, like, confess, I relapsed, you know, he was, everyone knew, you know what I mean? They all were like, we knew that already. You know, nobody's really blind. You think they are, but they're not. So I relapse, went down that spiral, and, uh, um, that's kind of what I'm fighting my way out of right now, man, like, rock bottom, again, at 44 years old. So, listen, I started over at 50.

Nice. You know, that's, it's hard. Listen, I lived in someone's spare room for 18, you know, halfway house for seven months, didn't even try and get out. I wanted every minute of that halfway house. And I spent 18 months in someone's spare room, you know? I mean, like, like I, you know, I had, I was lucky enough to have about four, about four or five hundred bucks when I hit the halfway house. And I went and bought $300 worth of clothes at Walmart. and I was thrilled.

I only had two pair of sweatpants and a couple T-shirt. You know, I had a pair of tennis shoes with holes in them. But I was happy to be outside. I remember being in prison thinking, you got to get humble. You got to start being appreciative because, you know, I don't, you know, like that's a big thing for me, you know, just being arrogant and thinking that I'm, you know, that everybody needs to respect me and everybody, you know, that was a big problem with me, prior to prison that I was a big shot and

I was like, you're just a scumbag bro, you need to just accept the fact that you're a scumbag and be appreciative that you're out of prison and, you know, bro, I mean, even, you know, people don't know how good they have it out here. No. It's good.

You just, I have to remind myself of that all the time. Yeah. That's the problem. I know that I just had a scare with which was thank God. It was a misdiagnosis, but it was a goiter, but it was, they said it was a cancer.

And then, like, I thought it was dying, bro. Like, I was scared. And, yeah, and, like, for the last, like, three months, man, I've been, like, kind of, like, face immortality, bro. Like, how am I going to face it, right? Am I going to go out guns blazing? Or am I going to go out trying to help people like always, like I've been doing? Do I want my son to see me shrivel up to 100 pounds? You know, I didn't know.

There's so many things. Go through your mind. And it takes a lot to humble me, man. So I get there. And that to face my own mortality made me face myself. And I just came to a realization that the only person that can beat me is me. I can sit here and say, oh, I need help. But the only person that can fight these demons is me.

So, you know, I think. Things happen for a reason, man. And we go through things to better ourselves. And if we take your vairs, they're good. If not, then whatever. You deserve what you get, man. You know what I'm saying? And pretty black and white, I think.

So when, so when you started it, you started a YouTube channel. Like, why did you, why did you start that? Like, that's not a normal thing to just decide to start one. You know, essentially for a guy like you, like, you know what I'm saying? Like that, you don't think. YouTube when you think some fucking hardened criminal just got out of prison hey let me start a YouTube channel like

that's I mean there's a few guys but you don't strike me as that guy I didn't a lot of people a lot of things I do surprise because honestly I never wanted to be this guy I didn't want to be that and even when I was doing it

deep down I hated it I hated the person like a man back I hate being I hate being moved I hate hurting me people. I don't like it. It makes you know comfortable. I thought that maybe I could fix some of it. Some of the damage that I'd done to my own life, karma, or whatever, if just I could save one person. You know, if I could get on in those and, and, like, somebody would tell me that I help them, that's self-catification. That can replace drugs, man. That can replace pain. They can

replace everything. So that's why I started because I was like, I saw these guys doing and I was like, they're lying. I'm seeing some of these guys. And I'm like, and maybe I don't, you know what I mean? And I just felt like there was a lot of Hollywoodism. And I just wanted to like, get on and be like, this is my story. This is how I went down for me. You know, and if this helps you good. Because I knew that talking to people, it ain't like it. You know, in our day where you like we had different avenues of doing that now people just get on the phone look something up and there it is and I knew somebody could see it and can like now this started in 19 I started doing since 2019 and I've had a lot of ups and downs man like made a lot of bad moves

man you know because I don't know nothing about social media and whatnot to do and I took a lot of some personal people saying and they were like you don't you don't feed into that you know what I I'll whip his ass like you got me like it triggers something I mean there's been times we were driving down to people's house in different states because they're having so mad but yeah looking like the first the first few times people said something like I like argued with them and stuff and now honestly I'm just like you know like yeah I can see that I see what's just saying like I understand and yeah you think it came off like that yeah I guess that was wrong you know I I don't I don't, I talk more to the people that talk shit that I do to the people that are like, you know, you're amazing, you're great. Yeah. Just because, and also, it'll make you be a child. Huh?

It'll make you be out of them. Yeah, because I try and look, I try and look at it from other people's perspective. And, you know, look, if somebody calls me a scumbag, like, it's not like they're wrong. You know what I'm saying? So if, so, but what I was going to say is you don't think that, like, doing the YouTube thing is kind of cathartic like it it helps you realize that other people are in your position and it's you know it makes me think like a a you go to a a you can read that book at your house yeah but going there and hearing those other guys stories it's you know it's like wow i'm not alone well a lot of

these guys and a lot of it too is that i still to this day don't have like a lot of people so a lot of this is therapeutic like the people i did have around me didn't i know understand what I try to talk to them like hey man so like this one time like where's this in level five and then look at me like we don't want to hear about your level five stories anymore you know what I mean but like I'm not sure because I'm socialized I'm talking about because it hurts and I'm talking about because I'm literally having night tears about it and I can't tell you that because you think of crazy I'm telling you about it because I'm crying myself asleep because I don't know how to deal with this stuff right and all the shitty things I've

done but I'll go over here you know what I mean so that's where a lot of these dudes, you know, they're falling short, man. And now, like, I've gone, gotten help and therapy and all this stuff. And, you know, they got, they're, like, PTSD. So I go to this EDMR stuff and that's the same by the way. Because I'm, I've gone to, like, these therapy sessions with these war vets. And, too, I don't even talk because that's, you know what I mean?

Like, the stuff them guys saw. I remember I remember being in prison complaining about my 26 year sentence sitting at a table with three guys that were never leaving that were never leaving

I was like oh wow you need to just shut up and be happy you got a fucking out date and the thing would be going and the veterans yeah I'll bet man they fucking holding their buddies arms or holding their buddies in their arms when they die and getting legs blown off

blown off and a lot of it with me art is part that I see with with like I'll tell the story to a buddy mine today at work man and you know I've I've seen some people die in prison I've seen some bad stuff happen but when I the worst thing I ever saw was when this done kid and he's 19 was killed in front of me you know buddy mine and all because it was my beef it was I'd beef with some guys they took it out on me they took it on him because of me you know and I carried that for years man and you know all I had to do was shut my mouth you know what I mean like all of what I had to do is shut my mouth and he'd probably be alive to be learned and I guess we all got things in our lives that we are guilty of or guilty for but at what point do you say

I'm going to use it to to maybe help somebody else or whatever and not live with it carry it's heavy, bro. It's just like a heavy bag you carry around all the time. And, like, why I tell people now is like, you can make these decisions as a young person. You can get it. If you want to be a gangster, I can show you got to do that. You know what I'm saying? But there's a lot that comes with that. And it isn't just the jail. It isn't just this. It's that later on, white age, man, when you're 40 and you're 50 and you're an old man and you want to be sitting on your front porch playing with your grandkids, but you ain't got nothing because you've been locked up your old damn life. Or you've lost everything and you're starting over.

Again at 50. Do you know how it is to try to compete with a 25-year-old that works his ass off? Yeah. Now, you go dog yourself. So, I mean, it's, you know, but they're not just, just like I did. You know what I mean? They're looking at right, whatever, old man, shut up. You know, because you can't tell somebody something knows everything.

You know? So what, um, so what's going on? with your uh your channel like you kind of you dip for a little bit and now you're you're back like what's yeah i did because of a situation um where i backed somebody i shouldn't have and um you know unbeknownst to me they lied to me too um then i got back started about last summer and it took off in january man it just kind of started taking off and uh we went from 25 to almost 50k in the last couple months um which is good you know it's dude yeah it's big man and you know I'm pretty proud of it's the one thing in my life I stiff I stuck with which is grace the one thing

nobody's saying you do is the one thing I stuck with yeah so um I don't know man putting more more into the channel I used to just get going live and just um and just I just just go live and talk and just say whatever and you know now I'm trying to make videos I was learning how to edit and all that stuff too, man, which is, I'm sure you know, being gone, man, like it was a different world when we went in, you know, and I didn't know how to use an iPhone when I came home, man. They didn't have iPhones when I went in.

They came out like 2009, like three years later. Yeah, it's funny, man, our technology changes so fast, so rapidly. And I don't know, we're doing it. I'm good, man. Tails off the yard, man. We, you know, just trying to make a difference, I guess, like, you know, the rest of, you know, just trying to give people to understand that we already did that. You don't have to go do it.

I'm going to tell you what happened. I'm going to tell you at the end of the story, right? You know what I mean? You'll have to go there. Because it don't matter where you're at, Cali, Virginia, Texas, Fed State. Gail's jail. You know, at the end of the day, you know, inmates are going to fight inmates. But nothing is hard, at least for me, when that door shows in your body yourself.

and the only person you're facing is you. Because there's no more provido, man. There's no more saying, oh, I'm good, oh, I'm good, no. That's when, you know, that's when it's real for me. And you're laying there and you're just like, I've literally pissed my whole life waiting. You know, I've literally pissed it away. If you like the video, do me a favor. Hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you get notified of videos like this.

Leave me a comment in the comment section. And I appreciate you guys watching and check out my book trailers. See you. Using forgeries and bogus identities, Matthew B. Cox, one of the most ingenious con men in history, built America's biggest banks out of millions. Despite numerous encounters with bank security, state, and federal authorities, Cox narrowly, and quite luckily, avoided capture for years. Eventually, he topped the U.S. Secret Service's Most Wanted Fest and led the U.S. Marshals, FBI, and Secret Service, on a three-year chase, while jet-setting around the world with his attractive female accomplices. Cox has been declared one of the most prolific mortgage fraud con artists of all time by CNBC's American Greene. Bloomberg Business Week called him the mortgage industry's worst nightmare, while dating.

Nightline NBC described Cox as a gifted forger and silver-tongued liar. Playboy magazine proclaimed his scam was real estate fraud, and he was the best. Shark in the housing pool is Cox's exhilarating first-person account of his stranger-than-fiction story. Available now on Amazon and Audible. Bent is the story of John J. Boziak's phenomenal life of crime, inked from head to toe, With an addiction to strippers and fast Cadillacs, Boziak was not your typical computer geek. He was, however, one of the most cunning scammers, counterfeiters, identity thieves, and escape artists alive, and a major thorn in the side of the U.S. Secret Service as they fought a war on cybercrime.

With a savant-like ability to circumvent banking security and stay one step ahead of law enforcement, Bozziak made millions of dollars in the international cyber underworld, with the help of the Chinese and the Russians. Then, leaving nothing but a John Doe warrant and a cleaned-out bank account in his wake, he vanished. Boziak's Stranger Than Fiction Tale of Ingenious Scams and Impossible Escapes, of brazen run-ins with the law and secret desires to straighten out and settle down, makes his story a true crime con game that will keep you guessing. Bent.

How a Homeless Team became one of the cybercrime industry's most prolific counterfeiters. Available now on Amazon and Audible. Buried by the U.S. government and ignored by the national media, this is the story they don't want you to know. When Frank Amadeo met with President George W. Bush at the White House to discuss NATO operations in Afghanistan, no one knew that he'd already embezzled nearly $200 million from the federal government. Money he intended to use to bankroll his plan to take over the world. From Amadeo's global headquarters in the shadow of Florida's Disney World, with a nearly inexhaustible supply of the Internal Revenue Services funds,

Amadeo acquired multiple businesses, amassing a mega conglomerate. Driven by his delusions of world conquest, he negotiated the purchase of a squadron of American fighter jets and the controlling interest in a former Soviet ICBM factory. He began working to build the largest private militia on the planet, over one million Africans strong. Simultaneously, Amadeo hired an international black ops force to orchestrate a coup in the Congo while plotting to take over several small Eastern European countries. The most disturbing part of it all is, had the U.S. government not thwarted his plans,

he might have just pulled it off. It's insanity. The bizarre, true story of a bipolar megalomaniac's insane plan for total world nomination. Available now, on Amazon and Audubold. Pierre Rossini, in the 1990s, was a 20-something-year-old Los Angeles-based drug trafficker of ecstasy and ice. He and his associates drove luxury European supercars,

lived in Beverly Hills penthouses, and dated Playboy models while dodging federal indictments. Then, two FBI officers with the organized crime drug enforcement task force entered the picture. Dirty agents willing to fix cases and identify informants. Suddenly, two of Rossini's associates, confidential informants working with federal law enforcement, or murdered.

Everyone pointed to Rossini. As his co-defendants prepared for trial, U.S. Attorney Robert Mueller sat down to debrief Rossini at Leavenworth Penitentiary, and another story emerged. A tale of FBI corruption and complicity in murder. You see, Pierre Racine knew something that no one else knew. The truth. And Robert Mueller and the federal government have been covering it up to this very day. Devil Exposed.

A twisted tale of drug trafficking, corruption, and murder in the city of angels. Available on Amazon and Audible. Bailout is a psychological true crime thriller that pits a narcissistic con man against an egotistical, pathological liar. Marcus Schrenker, the money manager who attempted to fake his own death during the 2008 financial crisis, is about to be released from prison, and he's ready to talk. He's ready to tell you the story no one's heard.

Shrinker sits down with true crime writer, Matthew B. Cox, a fellow inmate serving time for bank fraud. Shrinker lays out the details. The disgruntled clients who persecuted him for unanticipated market losses, the affair that ruined his marriage, and the treachery of his scorned wife, the woman who framed him for securities fraud, leaving him no choice but to make a bogus distress call and plunge from his multi-million dollar private aircraft in the dead of night. The $11.1 million in life insurance, the missing $1.5 million in gold.

The fact is, Shrinker wants you to think he's innocent. The problem is, Cox knows Shrinker's a pathological liar and his stories of fabrication. As Cox subtly coaxes, cajoles, and yes, Khan's Shrinker into revealing his deceptions, his stranger-than-fiction life of lies slowly unravels. This is the story Shrinker didn't want you to know. Bailout. The Life and Lies of Marcus Shrinker. Available now on Barnes & Noble, Etsy, and Audible. Matthew B. Cox is a con man, incarcerated in the Federal Bureau of Prisons,

for a variety of bank fraud-related scams. Despite not having a drug problem, Cox inexplicably ends up in the prison's residential drug abuse program, known as Ardap. A drug program in name only. Ardap is an invasive behavior modification therapy, specifically designed to correct the cognitive thinking errors associated with criminal behavior. The program is a non-fiction dark comedy, which chronicles Cox's side-splitting journey. This first-person account is a fascinating, glimpse at their survival-like atmosphere inside of the government-sponsored rehabilitation unit. While navigating the treachery of his backstabbing peers, Cox simultaneously manipulates

prison policies and the bumbling staff every step of the way. The program. How a Conman survived the Federal Bureau of Prisons cult of Ardap. Available now on Amazon and Audible. If you saw anything you like, links to all the books are in the description box.