Matthew Cox | Inside True Crime Podcast - Dealer Secrets Revealed: Power, Women & Redemption

Episode Date: January 15, 2025

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My empire is growing. Right. I got a good name because I always pay. I never owe, you need to get this money. Right. Because I don't mind getting 15 grand taken. I can't have 50s, 60s grand taken. In the drug world, when you got girls, you got a flock.

So we're going to the casino five nights a week. I'm picking up a girl or two or three. And I would tell the girls, if your friend comes, we're going to have sex. You ain't got an interview like this, bro. You ain't got no interview like this because you're going to get the dirty. When you're a user and you get busted, you ain't got your head right yet, and you stumble and you make mistakes. I didn't make those mistakes.

They take me to the room, set me down, and there's a recorder right there. They're kind of cocky too, right? Say, listen to this. Guys, we're probably going to testify against me anyway, so I might as well just tell on myself. You're preaching the choir. I'm with you. I hear you. I'm going to provide.

That's what I'm going to do. And I didn't get to spend as much time with my kids. I missed a lot. When Angel was born, it changed, bro. I'm not taking no women out. I'm not getting involved with nothing. Until I get my son, I'm getting involved with nothing. Hey, this is Matt Cox, and I'm here with John Rodriguez.

is we're going to be hearing his crime story and also about his son. I appreciate you coming on. Thank you. Thank you. It's going to be here. So let's, you know, we've talked a little bit about, we've talked about the story. And can you, let's just start, you know, start at the beginning, like where were you born, your family, parents, brothers, sisters. Okay, sure. I don't have any brothers or sisters. I'm an only child. I was born in Castro Valley, California. My mom and dad were married for five years, got a divorce. And then me and my mom eventually moved to L.A. And my dad stayed in Hayward-Castro Valley area. So at that time, I got to see my dad in the summer. Right. It was probably second grade. Yeah, second grade. What did they do?

My dad worked for Pac-Bell, which is AT&T, which I don't know what it is now, but back then it was pack bell where they fixed telephones which they don't do anymore you know and they did wire and all kinds of different things like that and then my mom at the time was a stay-at-home mom and then when we moved out here she got into the nursing facilities and was a nurse and she worked in a convalescent home and she did medical records okay and raised you and raised me up here in LA and I saw my dad in the summers for about two months every summer from June to the end of August, ish. Right. Okay. Were you, I mean, were you like a good kid, bad kid? I never really got into trouble. Even in elementary school, no problems. We ended up moving to

Whittier, so I was lucky enough to go elementary to transition to junior high to high school, all in the same. Like, we all went together. I didn't move to different high schools and different things at that time. So, yeah. So we get to Whittier, and I'm, We're living with my grandma because we're trying to get our feet together and get everything together. And then we ended up rent in a house next door. So I live right next door to my grandma, which I was very close with. So rest in peace. Charlotte, which my daughter, my daughter's,

my daughter's middle name is after. So Olivia Charlotte Rodriguez, after my grandma. You had said that, like we were talking about your, your mom like there was some issues with your mom yeah so growing up um it's kind of pretty relevant now but back then it wasn't um my mom was a cutter right so um from the age of as early as i can remember probably five or six up until 25 probably 22 um I'd say she probably cut herself 25 times went to the hospital six times um So, and she was an alcoholic.

So, but her alcoholism is a little bit different than what my dad's alcoholism was, but my mom wouldn't drink, you know, she'd go days and days and days and not drink. And then when she drank, she was getting drunk. Right. There was no tipsy. There was no in between. She would get obliterated. Right.

And I think my mom had some type of schizophrenic and stuff, because back then we didn't know anything about it, but looking back now, like, yeah, that wasn't right. Right. So, you know, I'm six years old. My mom's cutting herself. She's on the couch drunk, and I'm seeing blood. Right. I got problems.

I got nowhere to turn to. I'm by myself. I'm selling the child. So I had to deal with that all my life until I was, I think she stopped at 25. And she was cutting, which we'll get into, but she was cutting herself way before that. But I didn't know that until I was in my 20s when I found out, wait a minute. My dad knew she was a cutter? I didn't know that then.

I was going to say, like, it's like, you know, obviously I've read a bunch of stories. Like, there's a story about a guy named Frank Amadeo. Like, he was hospitalized several times and, like, they couldn't, they couldn't quite understand that he had, you know, like, they didn't really know what bipolar was. And he had features of schizophrenia. So it's like, you know what I'm saying? Like mental illness back in like the 70s and 80s, like people don't realize now, you know, like kids or younger people don't realize now that back in the 70s, they're 80s. he's, you know, they didn't talk about it, they didn't admit to it, it wasn't regularly diagnosed, it wasn't taught that much. So, you know, you just, you know, you just have to

suffer through it. It was a different time because I sat there and I, you know, as I got older, I sat there and wondered like, why didn't I go live with my dad? My mom's got problems. Yeah. You know, I say this, like I wasn't raised, you know, I survived. Right. you know and um which we'll get into probably periodically through this podcast was i'm not trying to be arrogant you know which we talked about i'm just keeping it 100 i'm keeping it the truth it is what it is people can say whatever they want but my looks was my medication right i was fortunate to be very good looking my whole life and having girlfriends from probably 12 years old right i didn't need to do drugs i don't need to get in trouble

I wasn't a troublemaker because I had girls and with that what's my trouble Yeah that's your addiction That's your retreat Yeah that was my comfort You know it's like hey

I know it's comfort for all man But for me it was like I didn't need to do bad stuff I didn't need to get in trouble Because I had multiple girlfriends At 12, 13 14 But once I hit 15 16 It was over

I had car A little bit of money Right Girls It was it was good times it beats not riding your bike to their house no no no no no meeting them at the mall

you had calm because you didn't have a cell phone mom and dad but once I hit 16 and got the car it was all good it's all good right were you committee were you doing anything like you weren't at 16 17 you weren't you were just going to high school not like committing crimes

no crimes going to high school smoked a little weed when I was probably 14 which my best friend Jim Federico, right? So he's the one which we'll get into later that had drug problems, right? But I go to my dad's house because he's in San Francisco, right, Hayward, and I visit him, and I'm like 13. And I go there for the summer, like every summer, probably, yeah, probably 12 or 13. And our neighbors are smoking weed. I never smoked weed. But when I go there, I start smoking

weed, I come back to L.A., right? I'm like 13, and I tell my best friend, because he's pretty straight shooter then right and i says hey dude you gotta try this stuff mad it's amazing and he starts smoking weed and then he gets into other things later on in life i don't go i don't really do any drugs later on in life which we'll talk about but that's where it kind of all started right so you graduate what what happened so you graduate high school did you yeah so i graduate high school in 1985 but you're high so interesting enough my mom marries a guy who works for a cardboard box factory where they're made boxes. I forgot the name of it, but it's city of industry.

They'll probably pop it in my head sometime. And his name is George, George Shipley. Anyhow, he's working in this cardboard box factory his whole life. This is what he does. He's making like 40 grand a year, 45 grand. We're living okay. We're living pretty good, actually. 45 grand a year in 1985, it's not bad, right?

It's cool. So now I'm thinking, that's what I'm going to do. because you know we were poor me and my mom when we were young we're poor so um i just want to make money to survive and and live a decent life i'm not thinking living big i'm not thinking going to college i'm not thinking going to going to military i'm thinking i'm going to make i want to make a decent living yeah but i'm maybe more than getting by you know because we weren't getting by we were doing pretty good right you know 45 grand year is probably like 150 now right so it's pretty good. So I start working for CoreCraft two days after I turn 18 because they won't hire me until

I turn 18. Right. So I turn 18 in September and then I start working there two days after. And then I worked there for 17 years grinding. It was a grind. Hated that place. 17 years daily waiting for the clock to get to, you know, whatever the end time was. So yeah, I worked there for 17 years start in 1985 and um i start at the bottom within probably three years i'm making 18 bucks an hour that's 1980 well probably 87 i make 18 bucks an hour it's not bad right it's like 30 40 bucks that you know and i'm and i'm 20 you know and then i become um about 22 i become a working foreman so now i'm in charge of about and that's pretty young for a 22 year old guy but you know i moved up i got a which we'll get it

into more and more but I have a very strong work ethic I don't play it's work I work so and then obviously they recognize that and I'm a bit of a perfectionist so everything's got to be done right and it's got to be done perfect or close to perfect or I got a problem you know so yeah I work there I'm 22 I'm supervising guys I'm making 45 grand a year 40 grand a year 1988 I become a supervisor then about three years later and I'm there for 17 years

grinding you know which is what I try to teach my grandchildren now is um Jaden's about 12 and Juju's like eight

you need to go college you need to learn trade you need to learn something you can't be grinding right having a life that grinds it's horrible

it's horrible right and i lived it's what i would say i'm doing here grinding it's just grinding out podcasts yeah i mean it's just um did you get married did you so yeah um so being that i'm an only child now we'll probably get into it later or sometime i have a half brother and a half sister that live in georgia so my mom and dad divorced when i'm in elementary school my mom never has any other kids and gets remarried when i'm like 15 my dad on the other hand He probably gets married. I'm probably nine.

He probably gets married when I'm 12 to a lady, and she's got two kids, and they end up having two kids. So he has a daughter, and he has a son, Victor. Daughter Lucia and Victor. Five kids in that whole grouping. But I'm away, you know, I'm the visitor, dude. I'm the guy that comes on the summer, you know, and then I'm the guy that leaves in August.

So they deal with me for two months. You know, when I say deal with me, not that I got into trouble, but I wasn't, I had an issue. My issue when I was younger was my mom's an alcoholic, okay? I got big problems. I got, I got massive problems. I'm eight at nine. I don't got big problems. I got massive problems.

But when I go to my dads and I had told this to Gail, sorry, I told this to Gail probably four or five years ago, I was a little jealous. I was very jealous. Who's Gail? Gail is my dad's second wife. Okay. Okay. So at this time, I don't know this, but through my therapy and stuff, I kind of realized that I kind of gave Gail issues. I did give Gail issues. Sorry, but I did. Not like anything major, but I wasn't the greatest kid, but I wasn't horrific. I was a bad kid to her, specifically.

Because I was jealous. She was a good woman. She is still a good woman. And I didn't have that. Right. You're good? It's okay. Take your time. Yeah. it was rough

right it's hard to it's hard to explain but when you're eight and you're by yourself and your mom's drunk I used to use the word I never even used the word drunk I use the word Oblivrated

Right Like beyond drunk And you're right You're by yourself You know And she's cutting her wrist And it's like It's different levels

Because it's not like She cuts her wrist one time And it's a problem It's she cuts her wrist Multiple times And it's a problem But it goes into another layer of Which I didn't

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I don't know if it was it was just as bad as her cutting her rest and taking her to hospital get stitches or if it was just as bad as being nine not knowing if she was going to do it or not your grandmother was next door yeah right yeah so she know what was going on she knew yeah they all knew my mom has a twin sister

rest in peace Jackie who's my godmother they all knew everybody knew you know and we go to the hospital she gets stitched up. I mean, I don't remember all the days, but I remember this specifically because it just stands out on a Super Bowl Sunday. The Rams are playing the Pittsburgh Steelers. I'm thinking 79, somewhere in there, 80, 79, 78, somewhere in there when they play the Steelers. My mom cuts her wrist that night. So I got to go run to my cousin's house where my cousin's at, Kathy, rest in peace. She's like a sister to me. I got to run to her friend's house to tell her

I got a problem. My mom's cut her wrist, you know, and my grandma probably wasn't home. So they had to take her to the hospital that day, but we probably... When she goes to the hospital with her wrist cut, do they, like, bake her actor? You know, like, do they hold her for three days?

No. They just stitch her up and say... Stitch her up, brought her home, and no one ever came and said, where's just got kids, what are they doing, where are they at? Let's interview them, let's talk to them. No.

They never did. It was a long time ago. Yeah. Yeah, it's a different world then. Well, and your dad, but your dad knows, but he's not, he's got his own family. Yeah, I kind of always felt, I don't want to say off the cuff, but I kind of felt somewhat out of place, but not like I didn't matter. Because my dad loved me. He took care of me.

He paid his child support. He saw me every summer until I was about 14. but then I didn't want to go with them anymore in the summer because I got girls and I'm not leaving the girls to go spend time with my dad at 14 so about 14 15 now I don't see my dad in the summer

but I still see him he comes and sees me once or twice a year because he loves me I got you know he's got his issues he's dealing everybody's got issues right everybody's dealing with stuff so for us to sit here and say

bad person you do this wrong you do that wrong everybody's dealing with stuff you know I dealt with some heavy stuff but people aren't dealing with with stuff we don't know about you know right so i have um when it comes to mental health i deal with it a little bit differently than i think most because i realized what my mom had maybe if she had been diagnosed but alcoholism i mean what is that going to do so um you know a a you can

get help their support like people don't realize back in the 70s and 80s like there was you know there wasn't like a huge it wasn't a huge amount of awareness and And I don't think, and I think it was frowned upon when my dad in the 70s went to the doctor and explained that he would drink and then he would basically drink until he couldn't stop drinking. And it would go on for a week straight and he would miss work. And then he'd wake up and get sober and wouldn't drink again for six months. The doctor said, you're an alcoholic. He almost got into a fist fight with him.

He said, you're an alcoholic. He was, you're a functioning. He was, you're an alcoholic. He said, you're just not a functioning alcoholic. You don't go home every night. and drink and you're okay the next morning he's like you drink to and i forget with a term that they used but you know like you said you you uh he drinks till the till he basically blacks out like he and then he's sober for weeks on in and but when but the term alcoholic was such a huge

insult my mom said literally they almost got into a fist fight in the middle of the uh the of the patient room because my dad starts screaming at him they start yelling at each other back and fourth, you know, two grown men in the 70s, you know, they're ready to macho, you know, come to, you know, start fighting. And so, yeah, he, yeah, but I mean, that's the whole thing. Like now, if you said you're an alcoholic, you might be like, no, no, I, you know, it wouldn't be a fist fight. Yeah.

But back then it was so drowned on. Right. Right. But back then, the idea of it, you're ready to start swinging. Yeah. You know, and my dad wasn't a fighter, but I mean, that's, that's like, does people don't even understand like if you're in your 30s now and you hear that you're like oh didn't he understand that's that's a different world in the 70s and 80s than it is now nobody cared about your feelings

back then yeah it was way different it was just different that's why it's just like she's going she's cutting her wrist over and over again and they're not hospitalizing her they're not sending out a social a social worker to see how her child's doing like none of that existed and if it did like it would have to be horrific for them to actually come out and see you neighbors would have to be calling you'd have to be being beaten inside of everybody for them to come out they wouldn't even consider that abuse no well she's cutting herself i think you're um madman there's a there's a little snippet in madman when they're in the 50s right you see madman yeah yeah well one of the guys slaps the kid you know for misbehaving at a picnic or something right and in the 50s i guess that's

what they did that was a neighbor yeah you couldn't do that now but that was you know back then you you had to be nice to your neighbors like Now, you don't touch my kids. What about getting spanking's in elementary school? Back then, you get, you get a swat. I never got a swat. But you get a swat in elementary school. Yeah, I was spanked.

Yeah. I was spanked multiple times. Do that now. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Come on, do that right now. Your kid, Johnny, is in elementary school, and he goes home and he tells his mom, hey, the principal used a wooden stick, and he spanked me for misbehaving.

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Stranger Than Fiction Story. Available now on Amazon and Audible. Yeah, I was thinking my sister would scream at my dad and say, I'm going to call. Both my sisters and my brother were adopted. And then my mom went in for a hysterectomy and they found out she was pregnant with me. I think I heard that in one of the podcasts Yeah, yeah So but my sister, my one sister

She was a problem She used to Scream and she'd say I'm gonna go find My real parents And my dad would say Your real parents gave you up Your real parents

Already decided they don't want you I mean just like You wouldn't say that to a kid now Like that's brutal You know They already or she'd say I'm gonna She said you only adopted us

You only adopted me you'd have a slave and he would say um and she'd go i'm going to call social services and he go call him yeah call him here's the phone go live in the projects he said you'll be begging to come back here i mean this is brutal you wouldn't talk you wouldn't say that now now people would be like that's horrible you can't talk to your child like that you're doing so you're doing damage it's damage it's emotionally damaging yeah yeah she was emotionally damaged anyway um so let me comment on what you said when you said you want me to send you back so I dealt with the I dealt with some some issues I felt big issues but when I was about 12 when I was at my dad's house because my mom

would always tell me you want to go live with your dad you want to go live with your dad and I'm like shit no I don't want to go live with my dad and then when I was at my dad's house and I got I didn't really get into trouble and I think they're going to when they see this podcast I didn't get in trouble but me and my step brother and sister of stepbrother we got into some type of trouble we're sent to our room and then we made some noise in room probably fighting or whatever and uh my dad comes in and he tells me and i'm 12 and this is very traumatic for me a little point of my life excuse me or my dad tells me do you want to go live with your mom you want me to send you back to your moms so now you got a 12 year old kid who's who's effed i don't want to use the f word

he's thinking i'm thinking of myself not at that time because i'm i'm already emotionally damaged with my mom but and I'm a little damaged with my dad too because I'm like I'm an outsider like I'm seeing this I'm not stupid I'm 12 you know I'm kind of like the outsider guy on you know the guy that comes for two months but when your dad tells you want me to send you back to your mom's and your mom tells you you want to go live with your dad now I'm thinking no one wants me right but I didn't think it exactly at that time but I know it was in me at that time you know I because I did a lot therapy you know and I started piecing things together later in life right in my 20s but having that being said to me at 12 and I'm not a bad kid I'm not getting into trouble I never got

suspended from school right I never I had one meeting in high school with the with the with one of the teachers in auto shop teacher but I never got suspended I never got in any trouble so I was a pretty good kid um so once he says that then I'm just like no and then I stood but like I said as I got older, because it was rough until 12, super rough. I had no outlet. I had no getaway. I had no comfort. I guess for me, comfort would have been sports.

I watched a lot of sports. I still do. 95% of what I watch is sports or sports talk. So I just, that was, I guess, my medication at that time was sports. Okay. But like I said, when I was telling you earlier, or we talked earlier, once I hit 13, 14, I hit my stride. Right.

Like, I'm hitting my stride. So I'm good. I'm not good with what's going on with my mom because it's still going on. But now I can't be hit or beaten. Right. Because now I can hold myself. Rob was going to say, now you're, a 35-year-old woman is not going to be able to control a 15-year-old boy. Right.

They're just too strong. They're too big. It's just not going to happen. Yeah, I stopped getting beat at, 12 probably 10 12 yeah probably 12 so when do you you eventually you graduate I'm assuming you high school you start working at the the um I worked at a corrugated sheet factory right so step one corrugated sheet step one would be getting the paper step two would be make it into corrugated sheets step three is where my stepdad worked okay he made the boxes we made the sheets okay at a totally separate place but it was it paid more money where I live where I worked so he got me the job there right and then I mean you said you so you met your white you you got married yeah um I met my my wife Lucy um and we had three kids I was 21 when we had our first kid Johnny um I bought my first house when I was 21 that's young yeah yeah

I bought it in Asperia it was on an acre because I didn't have a dad you know I had a dad sorry I don't want to disrespect my dad I want to say I didn't have a dad I have a dad I have a dad influence big influence. I'll just say this. He wasn't a big, he was very little influence in my life. Right. Okay. But he loved me. So I got nothing bad to say, and I take care of him now, which we'll get into. Okay. But, yeah, I got nothing bad to say. I buy a house in Asperia, okay, and it was on an acre, four bedroom, 1,800 square foot, one-story house. I marry a woman who's got three kids, okay? Peter, Joe, rest in peace, and Mike. And he's, Pete, her son, about 12 years younger than me. So I'm 21, she's 28. So we get together. We have three

kids. We're living in Asperia for about five years. I'm working at Corkraft. I'm moving up. By the time we're, you know, I'm 25, 24, I'm a supervisor. So we're living a, we're living a middle class life. You know, we're taking a little vacations here and there. We got a little house. We ended up moving from there, bought another house in West Covina in a better area. And that was all good until we transitioned into us having problems and me seeing my best friend again. Because me and my best friend, Jim, we were always kind of in and out.

He went to the Army. He comes back. He goes off living around me, but we're not really contacting each other. And then we get into contact. And then when me and my ex-wife have problems, and we're getting a divorce, it wasn't said then but we're getting a divorce I'm like you know it's coming it's coming

it's 19 year 2000 probably 1999 it's coming I'm leaving on the weekends I'm going to his house I'm getting away because we're getting a divorce I'm out we're done it's just time yeah so that's when it goes it goes south it doesn't go south real quick but it goes south because he's dealing meth he's drug addict then did you know that moving into the place I didn't move in I just went there on the weekends okay okay because I worked core craft

you know right so I'm there I'm the stray shooter but I see now now I'm seeing a whole different world now because everything changes once once I see him and see what he's doing then that's where the whole

true crime story comes in so he um is he making good money or just he's just a regular dealer or he he's a user he's getting by okay you know he's not selling anything big just enough to keep himself in keep him going keep a float go to the casino you know things like that so yeah he he's not making good money but he's making enough to get by support his habit and get by um so yeah so when i go there i'm seeing all kinds of different people coming into his house you know and uh i'm the stray shooter guy and they think i'm a cop like they're like hey is this guy a cop he doesn't use right you know why is he here and he's like no no no no hold on hold on he's i've known this guy since we were 12 like we've been best friends since 12 no this is this is my dude like right

he's good so um yeah we're doing that i'm going there maybe me and my wife eventually get a divorce and then I start seeing a girl that's a user okay and uh I don't want mention it but then I start seeing a girl that's a user and um she's slanging a little bit on the side my buddy's slanging a little bit on the side but I'm not slanging anything and then um eventually it starts you know well you're still working right I'm still working um I had back surgery, probably four years before I ended up leaving Corkraft, but I hurt my back again, and I couldn't work. So at that time, when I'm going to his house on the weekends, it's probably, you know, six months later, I hurt my back again. And I don't need surgery,

but I hurt my back. And then I never went back to Corkraft again. I just left. I went on disability, and that lasted about a year. And then after that, I was slang in then. So after that, I never went back to Corkraft. Okay. So now you're, like where are you guys getting meth from? Well, he's getting it from his connect, which I end up being his connect. Right. So he's getting his thing, but I'm kind of seeing how everything's going here, you know.

And my best friend gives me one of his people to sell to. So that's how it all started with like little quarter-round stuff, eight balls, things like that and then from him i picked up another one and then i picked up another one and then i picked up another one and then i'm i'm just basically selling ables right um teeners half teeners you know nothing quarter a quarter ounce was probably big right you know but that's all i was just dealing with small users but with with us latinos right we make the shit right right so So I ended up meeting another Mexican dude. Now, this, because we're rasa, right?

Like, we're taking care of each other a little bit. I have a little relationship with him, and he's bringing me stuff, and they all know I'm not a user, and I'm paying, right? I don't owe nobody nothing. I never do. You know, I get it, and they bring it, they get paid, or they front me a little bit, front me a lot a bit, boom boom boom get paid but what i did how how everything grew for me selling the drugs how it

really i don't want to use the word blossomed because that's not a good word but how it boomed right was i figured out if i bought a quarter pound from the homie right i could sell it to the white dude and not make any money so i buy a quarter pound let's just say it's probably about you could buy a I could buy back then you could buy an ounce for like I want to say

700 bucks right okay this is 19 or this is 2001 um you could buy a quarter ounce for about 700 bucks I would buy a quarter pound from him and then I would sell it for the same price

to this dude but I would get the price of a quarter pound, right? Okay. So I'm making no money here, but because I'm buying a quarter pound, I'm getting a discount, right, on the ounce. So I take, and I buy two ounces more, say, as an example. So I'm buying six ounces.

I'm selling this guy, four of the six, but now I'm getting the $600 price. I'm not paying, or $5.50 price because I bought six of them. Right. I'm making no money with him, but now I'm getting my ounces is at $550. Right. Right.

So now I'm taking those two ounces. This guy's coming almost every day to my house. This guy's buying almost every day because even though this dude is in the game much longer and he's a much bigger dealer than I am. Right. He's not getting my price. Right.

Because he's not Rasa. He's not getting my price. Okay? And I'm not saying that's the way it is for everyone. I'm just saying that's the way it was. for me in my situation. Right. Okay.

So, and also the guys that are bringing me the stuff, they're not dealing with the bullshit. Because I'm not a user. I'm not telling them a story on why I can't pay and how this time I'll pay him more next time and I'll catch up and blah, blah, blah. No, no, no. You brought it, I paid, he paid, boom.

Like, I'd have this guy come over in 45 minutes or something to come pick up his part and then I take my part and be with it. Come the next day. buy another six boom buy another eight eventually buy another pound this guy's buying a half pound i'm buying a pound and i'm selling ounces now and i'm selling quarter pounds now and i'm selling you know this and that and you know now i'm starting to make some money you know now i'm i'm i don't know what a lot of money is because in the feds when you go to the feds you're like dude you

were selling shit that you know you think oh yeah i'm selling pounds that that you're a small time you know yeah well you got you got you guys you guys sit in the table who were shipping in you know a 2,000 pounds sitting right next to another guy that is doing the same amount of time for bringing a a gun to a 10 dollar crack deal and you're like this is insane like it's you know you got you're basically street level dealers sitting next to guys that are smuggling thousands of pounds of whatever meth or coke or whatever so yeah it's it you go in the feds it's insane insane so every it's it's it's all relative like to me are you just making your bills or are you making you know is it are you making 8,000 month are you making 20,000 a month like what was like

20,000 week yeah like what's the best what's the best week or month you think you had are you asking me that question oh I'm gonna go with because it fluctuated but uh I could make 50 grand a month. On average, I could, on average then, I would say I was 10,000 a week. I was making 10 G's a week. Yeah. When I was busted,

I was probably making at the, 14,000 a week. Yeah. So you have a good month where you make 50, you have a bad month, you make 30, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're not living with your buddy.

You're not living at home. No, no, no, no, no, no. But on the road, so there's like a, road right so you're I'm look kids out there don't sell drugs right it's a mess it's a train wreck it's a horrible life it's a no good life and I'm only telling a story okay this is the story right I may have emotion I may smile this guy don't really I care yeah don't sell drugs don't get involved you're gonna throw your life away You're going to get yourself killed.

You're going to get in big trouble. Matt, I'm just telling you the story, bro. I'll just tell you how it was. I'm not fluffing it up because I could have said, oh, yeah, I was making $45,000 a week, dude. And how would you know I was or wasn't? Yeah. You know, but I made $14,000, $15,000 a week.

Right. But in the drug world, it's a different world. Okay, see, you did your crime with the white collar way. You, you, again, I'm going to say it just this last time. Don't commit crimes. Don't sell drugs. I'm just saying what it is. You guys can take it for what it is, what is worth.

Right. don't find a crime right but if you were if you were if you had to if you had to do a crime okay keep your co-defendants you don't have code it forget the word codefendent code offender codefendant doesn't exist it's not in your mind there is no co-defendant got it okay do it all by yourself like you did sometimes but think back if when you did it right yeah if you could have just to close your mouth yeah not told no one shit right right and said and main you could live a good life matt making 20 grand a week bro yeah you could live a smooth life right but no that's not what matt did

no matt went a little bigger but but we're not here for that i've heard your pod i've heard you on the podcast that's why i'm here because you're cool dude right you're cool dude um you got good energy and we got good energy you know and i's like man we're gonna make good podcasts and that's why i called you but um if you just think if you would have just did your shit small time make 10 15 grand a week didn't tell your girl yeah i try listen i try i'm a real estate agent i try not to think about it all the time i'm a middle man just rewind if you could have just said hey look check this out i sell real estate but i'm just the middle man okay i don't get involved i take house for sale the seller and i take the buyer and i find the buyer

and i get a cut that's what i do you'd have been doing that for how long no one would have own shit you know I hear you and and that's where the feds the feds which we're going to get into they don't play bro yeah you ain't you're smart you're very smart uh-uh you know you made some we'll get into that later but you made some big mistakes when with your case and I'm sitting there watching your story and I'm like and I'm hearing I'm like oh I know this dude because I met you in Atwater where I was Zach. I didn't meet you, but I met guys like you. You're slick. You try to be slick, right? Right? You're slick. You know what's up? What? You know how to play. You'd think, see, you'd think

you know how to play the game with the feds, at least in the beginning. Am I right? And I'm not downing. You didn't know. Yeah. See, I didn't get bail. So I learned the game. Yeah. I didn't get bail. Then you should have known. Like, dude, you better roll over, bro. You better roll over. I did roll over. You got too much time. You got too much time. You didn't roll over right. You didn't roll over right. I thought I did. I wasn't in a good position. When you went to county, when you were in the county, you were in the county, right? When you, first get, you, U.S. Marshall's holdover. Yeah. In the county. I was in the county county. I never went to the Fed Countyish, whatever you guys call it. I never went there. But you guys are in, maybe you stood yourself too much back then. You're in a special pod. Yeah, but you didn't talk to enough people. Because if you had talked to enough people, they had told you, hey, dude. let me tell you what you need to do because that's what happened to me

okay but we'll get into that later because the feds don't play bro I know so go so you're selling drugs how long does this go on probably four years four years but we'll get back to where I was in the beginning is

once you're once people know what you're doing what you're doing it's kind of like what we're talking about with the chimpanzees on on Netflix. Right.

There's the leader of the pack. Well, I'm the leader of my pack. Right. People are either walking towards you or walking away from you. Oh, they're not walking away, bro. No. No.

And see, because you don't know the drug world. I know you probably interviewed dudes, right? But I know what's up. Look, I've been there. I know the game. I don't know everything, everything. Because you say, oh, you know everything. And I could say that.

Like, I know everything. but I know everything, bro. When it comes to the smaller dealers of pounds, I don't know the game of the big time people, but I know how the small game work. No one runs away when you got a half pound at home. Right. And they're feigning and they need to use.

And, no, dude, they're not walking away, bro. Everybody's coming to. What I meant was that, like, in fraud, like when it got to be known in full, in Tampa that I was committing fraud on a regular basis, then you have your legitimate straight shooter friends or colleagues that walk

the other way when they see you coming. And then you have guys that know they may need something or want to get in on whatever you're doing. They're now, now they're your buddy. Hey, bro, let's go to lunch. Hey, man, there's a party next Friday. You want to come in the... Suddenly, it's like, well, you never hung out before.

But now you find out that I'm regularly committing fraud and you need something. So now we're buddies. Now you start, now everybody's cozying up to you. They want to be in your circle. Even if they don't need anything right then, people are smart. They know I may need you. So I'm going to, now I'm going to invite you to all the parties.

We're going to hang out. I'm saying all good things about you. Yeah. So that's what I mean. But your legitimate guys are like, yo, don't deal with that guy. Well, the thing is, it's a little different in the drug world. There is no don't deal with that guy. Right.

That guy's got the jewels. And you need those jewels. that guy's got what you need you ain't walking away so my empire is growing I got a good name because I always pay

I never owe okay and I would tell the guys that not even the guy that I got caught up with because he comes two years down the road but the guys that I'm dealing with here in my little empire I'm always on time I tell him

because I didn't want to get robbed with 50 grand at my house because then I'm screwed because not only did I get robbed for 50 grand I still owe him 50 grand and what's going to happen

it's all good until you don't pay right it's all good everything's great until you tell me dude I got robbed but now this is what we're going to do

so I would tell him come over dude you need to come over you need to come over now you need to get this money. Right. Because I don't mind getting 15 grand taken.

I can't have 50s, 60s grand taken. And they come over to click, you know. And then eventually I'm not really dealing with eight balls. And I'm not dealing with that anymore. I'm not dealing with, after about a year and a half, I'm no longer dealing with the only quote user. Yeah, you're a distributor. Now you're just distributing.

Now I'm distributing to the people selling. Right, to that, all right, to the deal. No one's calling me and saying, hey, man, can I grab an A ball? I'm like, dude, you got the wrong guy, bro. Right. You know, now I'm pretty much, I'm just selling quarter pounds, quarter pounds, two ounces, half pounds, things like that, two years in. And two years in, I have, you know, it's kind of like I say, you know, like if you're a

rock star right you're you know you're rock star you walk into the room everyone wants to be around you everybody's your friend all the girls are coming it's the same thing in the drug world everybody's coming all the girls are coming um i've kind of thought about this and said this is like if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend and you're a drug user you don't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend right you think you do you're in some type of relationship with a boy in a girl girl a boy whatever but there is no boyfriend girlfriend in the drug world because they're all doing stuff everyone I knew then you know yeah you know and if you're gone the next girl finds another one you know replaceable so that's kind of what I'm doing I got my own place we're we're a year and a half in and I meet this girl Jennifer right

Jennifer ends up being the baby's mama to the son now the focus of the story's on but she ends up I ended up getting her pregnant. But mind you, you know, up until I was selling drugs, I'm a straight shooter, right? Like, I'm just a regular dude. And, you know, I'm working. But when a year end of selling drugs, now I'm getting all kinds of girls.

Like, when I talked in high school about having girls, I got girls. In the drug world, when you got girls, you got a flock. Right. And it ain't one or two. Like, you got to, you probably, probably, I know how these guys are, but you got a flock of 20. Right.

You got 20 girls. You can call it at any time. At any time. We're going to the casino tonight. Okay. And between going to the casino, and I told my wife I don't want to embarrass her, right? Because my wife's a very straight shooter, straighter than I ever was. But this is the truth.

I'm on the podcast. I'm going to hold some stuff back. because it would really embarrass my wife if I said... Well, you don't know your wife then. You didn't know her then. I didn't know her then. Right. You can't hold stuff against me that would you?

I didn't even know you. Well, let's put it this way. This is kind of how it went down. So we're going to the casino five nights a week. I'm picking up a girl or two or three. And I'm bringing a friend with me. And it's cool. We're going to casino.

And I would tell the girls, hey, man, my friend wants to come. And say, okay, well, here's the deal. if your friend comes we're going to have sex okay because if we're not all right dude I'm lying that's not how I said it I'm going to tell you what it is I'm lying

if your girl that comes isn't going to give me a blowjob right she ain't coming why I'm going to take her to the casino right why if we're not going to do something sexually why is she coming yeah I got three of you

you're not riding for free right you know you're not coming here and enjoying the night and thinking you're going home, you're going to come and we're going to do things. Right. And not forcefully, but they know the game. All the girls know the game. Let's don't play stupid, okay?

Let's don't play dumb. You all know the game. You all know what's up. There's no, oh, I didn't know. You knew. Everybody knows. I'm telling you beforehand. Don't bring her.

Let her know because she ain't coming. I don't need her around. I got three of you. The fourth one, does it matter or not? I don't know. Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn't. So what does the chicks say?

What do they say, no. They don't, or they say, no, she's fine with it. She's good, she knows. No, no, no, no, no. See, that's the, I know you've interviewed people, but you ain't got an interview like this, bro. You ain't got no interview like this, because you're going to get the dirty, you know,

you're going to get, you're going to get the info. Oh, no, dude. You don't, it's like, I don't know what's the word. You know the word where you, it's just, it's just said. Like, it's said with no words. Right. But they knew the words. Like I would tell them, don't bring your friend.

Right. Or I'd say, hey, bring that girl. I want to get with her. And then they'd come or not come, whatever. So we all get taken care of, you know, and it's just the way it was. It's just the way it was, man. It's just people helping people. Yeah, they needed something.

I needed something. We all had fun, right? It was fun. I'm not going to lie. Symbiotic relationship, right? Like everybody's getting something. It's kind of like the 70s, bro. Like a free world.

It's a free world, but you got to have. the dope and the girls need the dope so they're coming yeah okay and i'm not a bad looking guy so it's not like they got to get with some dude because i've seen it we're like oh you know yeah i've seen some tore bag but they got girls they got girls because if you got the bag you got the girls and i'm going to tell you something too about the girls all the girls they're not tens but they're not threes either they're all sixes and sevens bro they're they're they use drugs bro they're skinny man right right there didn't got no obese people you know very few that are using so they're all 25 22 28 you know 110 pounds 115 pounds you know and they want to have a good time right

i want to have a good time so that's what we did and we did that for two or three years and and Jennifer was the one that I got pregnant and interesting story enough you'll love this because your podcast I know it's the truth man I'm not telling you lies bro so Jennifer gets pregnant right and about two or three months later she kind of goes her own way you know she's I'm doing my whatever she goes her own way but she's around but I don't see her she's around and then I seven months later I get the call she's already had the baby because I think this is speculation when I say when I tell you I don't want to lie I'm not lying I'm I'm given what I think is honest I don't think she knew who was the dad

100% okay um so once I saw angel two days after he was born it's like that's my boy you know um and she had when she had him she stood with her grandma Kathy and I really liked I really I loved I loved her. She took care of Angel. She adored him. She's passed away now probably about five, six years. She did not love Angel. She adored him, you know. And she had other grandkids, but there was something about Angel that she just took to. And they, after the, after the, she had the baby, she was in Hollywood and living with her mom. And then I would go, see, my son and then um but i ain't told my mom yet right i ain't told my mom shit that you've got a kid i ain't told her yet you know i got to go see him first right i got to see what's up i don't know so i go see him and it's mine and i still ain't told my mom yet and i told jennifer i'm gonna take him like three or four days after he's five days after he's born not long and i take him to my mom's right but I'm living like this crazy world dude where I'm not thinking straight either

I should have told my mom you know hey man I got you got a grandson and I brought him but that's not how I did it so I got them all waddled up and I go to my mom's house and I tell him I'm I got a surprise for you it's a surprise and I'm not saying it's bright I'm just saying that's how I did it man it's just different my mind's not right I'm living a rock star When you're a rock star bro You don't think about other people You're like I'm a man

You know Once you get to the Fed you realize Like dude I was a guppy But at the time I'm the man right Yeah And she closed her eyes And I put my son Angel On her stomach

She opens her up Probably not on her stomach But close her stomach And she opens her eyes And she opens her eyes Hey this your grandson And she starts crying bro She's like no you're kidding

No no no And it's true No no no he's mine he's mine and then she's shocked i got my other kids with me um and uh yeah she's shocked and she ends up taking care of them a little bit for me um you know when uh in the beginning so after that you know i take them back and now i i worked hard all my life bro i worked in a warehouse man 17 years i grew up without a father um i was I was kind of poor as a child, not a lot of money.

And I wanted, we're not going without, bro. Okay, I work hard. My dad had 10 brothers. My uncle Leo was like shot caller, mafia boss. He's the oldest guy. I didn't know him well. He said you got to work, man. Like, don't go get you no job.

This is 81, 14. Don't get you no job behind the desk. You need to go work. They all work the fields, bro. All my dad. I'll work the fields when they were young, busted their ass. And I've always been a worker because I didn't want to be poor. But I made track.

I don't want to use a super track. I made bad mistake because I missed out a lot on my kids, Johnny, Frank, and Olivia. I missed out on a lot because I worked a lot. You know, I started selling drugs when my son was probably my oldest was 13. And then Frank was 12, Olivia's 9, something like that. What does their mother think you're doing at this point? She knows you don't work at the factory. Oh, she knows, bro.

Okay. She knows. I'm not going to go into it, but I'm going to say this. She knows. Okay. Her crimey, my crime, her crimey, my crimey was her middle child. Joe. She knew.

So Joe was my driver. her crimey my crimey i i said my mistake well we got into a uh a conspiracy so he was part of my conspiracy my stepson he's my crimey we did dirt together like you didn't use that in the fed no you're like you're like a codifent no codefined okay you never heard a crime no now you know okay so she knew right uh but there was no she knew i didn't use drugs right right right so um um I was giving her money. She took care of my kids. I took care of my kids, you know.

But back to what I was saying, I just worked a lot because I didn't have a dad in my life. I need to provide for my family. I do that today, which we'll get into. Provide my family. I'm working hard. I'm living in Asperia, and I know you don't know Esperia, but I'll tell you, I'm living in Asperia

because I bought my house. It's the outskirts of Inland Empire, and I'm working seven. 75 miles away. Right. So I'm driving 150 miles a day to go to work. And I'm working 10, 12 hours a day in this warehouse. At least I did for five years while they were little, little.

But I had to provide for my family. And then we moved back down closer to where I worked, but I missed out a lot. And I regret that because I was too focused on work because my thought process then was my wife's going to stay at home. She worked part-time. She's going to stay at home. She's going to be take care of kids. I'm going to provide.

That's what I'm going to do. And I didn't get to spend as much time with my kids. I missed a lot. When Angel was born, it changed, bro. It changed. Because now I'm going to be a part of his life. That I wasn't with my other three. I was a part of their life.

Yeah, yeah. You're going to put more foot. I understand. You know, because I'm going to keep it 100. when we got a divorce when me and my wife got a divorce my kids wanted to go with their mom

cool it is what it is right obviously it hurt me right they came with me they were with me like half the time until I started slang and slang and then me and my ex-wife we lived within a mile and a half because where they moved I'd kind of move

so I could be around them but when angel was born it's different when angel was born I was 19 say 20 say he's 20 35 right he's 30 I'm 34

and my youngest daughter at the time's like 13 so I didn't think I was going to have another one so boom he's here and I'm taking care of him and I'm doing my thing

and he comes to my house on the weekends and I have one of my girls, I had, okay, I had two girlfriends. Right. Two, what I would consider girlfriends, but in the drug game, they weren't girlfriends. But at the time, they're girlfriends. There's as close as you're going to get. There's as close as we're going to get.

I don't want to say their names because I don't want to put it out there. Because they're both congressmen now. They're identical twins. Okay. They're identical twins. Like, I could tell them apart. You couldn't. you'd see them you you wouldn't know um and they were staying with me and they were both my

girls and i had other girls um i had other mini girls but they were my main girls and um they they would help take care of my son right now when he's at that time now i'm in my mind i'm a big dealer right but um i'm home often because i got runners i got people delivering you know there's no drugs at my house there's never any drugs in my house there might be when i buy but there's no drugs in my house right there's never drugs in my house that's like what it was there was a lawyer not a federal lawyer this guy ended up being a jerk anyway he's tells me, because they're all corrupt, bro. Even straight shooters are corrupt.

Lawyers are corrupt. No. Stop it. But I don't know this, dude. I don't know this, man. He tells me, and mind you, he's not a federal lawyer. He's a, what do you call it?

He's a regular lawyer. The state lawyer for drug dealers and whatever, right? I always love the state lawyers. This is a common scam with state lawyers. The state lawyers will come in. you'll get arrested they know your charges are going to go federal they already know it like he got caught with this much or he's got this many co-defendants we already know the feds are involved that we know the state caught them it's a conspiracy we know it's a task force the feds are involved we know he got

arrested by the locals but they already know it's going to go federal and they'll come in you'll go to them and you'll say hey uh you represented my buddy jimmy or me you represented me on the last charge and they'll say, listen, I'll represent you. It's $20,000. But if it goes federal, I can't, you'll have to get another lawyer. And you think, oh, it's not going to go federal because you don't know. You've been arrested twice or your buddies have been arrested. Nobody's gone to Fed prison yet. Right, right. Because you're small time. Right. You think you're small time. You don't realize, well, you've got 30 conspirators and the feds were involved and the DEA was involved in, but you're thinking, you don't realize that means. So they always say, so look, if it's

state right like how much you get caught okay you didn't get caught with with tons or anything no i did they only got me with like half a pound you're like okay it's probably not even going to go federal so i'll represent you 20 000 down but if it goes federal of course i can't do anything like i'll have to you'll have to get a federal defense attorney and they immediately you say okay yeah yeah no but it's not going to go federal it's fine it's fine they already know there's a 95 percentage going federal so what do they do that's just a cash grab i can keep the 20 oh that 20's gone well give me 20 back no no you signed this paper saying you don't get the 20 grand, the 20 back.

Or if you're a big enough dealer, if you're a big enough dealer, 20 grand isn't nothing anyway. Right. So you just give him 20 grand because he says he's going to help you. But they're all leeches anyway, anywhere from the bottom of the user that wants $10 worth up until the high time attorney. Yeah. They're all leeches.

You're a money bag for everyone, right? Right. And what does the lawyer think you're getting that money anyway? Where does he think some guy who just got arrested for drugs? This dude knew what I was doing. He knew what I was doing. They all knows. They know it's drug money or they know it's fraud money.

They know it's something. No, he knew it was drug money because he told me because I don't even want to mention his name. He's dead now. Anyhow, he told me if they never caught me with anything, I would never go to jail. What an idiot. That's just dumb. That's what he told me. Yeah.

So now in my mind, I'm like, I'm cool because I don't never have. anything at my house and this is what i'm thinking when i finally get busted which we'll get into later but this is what i'm thinking when i got busted think got shit on me man yeah but the feds they don't have to have it on you bro there doesn't have to nobody really i've seen cases where nobody got caught with anything but they start rolling over on each other and what are you going to do i'm going to go to jail and three guys are going to fucking testify against me and i wasn't caught with anything they weren't caught with anything but they're all going to roll over on me and there's no drugs in evidence anywhere, maybe a small amount somewhere.

And they're charging you with fucking 10 kilos. And you're like, there's no drugs. I wasn't caught. They weren't caught. They had the shit up. You know, they add the shit up. How long have you been doing this? 10 years.

Yeah, we got, we got 150 pounds. You can get up to 88 years and blah, blah, blah. So, yeah. So, yeah, I. Ghost dope. This is where. Not getting, which we'll get into, not getting bail helped me tremendously.

Right. But not getting bail when I didn't get bail, I'm thinking I'm screwed. Like, come on, man. Dad, help me out here, dude. But mind you, when I tell you in the story, my dad had 10 brothers. He was number nine, second to the youngest.

And they were all fruit pickers. in central California. Right. Let's go back to, let's go, we're jumping all over. Let's go back to, the two girlfriends

are taking care of Angel. The two girlfriends are taking care of Angel. Okay. Okay. So, months are going by, a little,

a few months, and I'm on my way to pick up Angel one night. And I get this phone call from my aunt, Sharon. she'd rest in peace my mom's half sister and she said um your mom's in the hospital you need to go

like it's a big problem i don't remember exactly what she said but did you immediately think it was cutting or just no because that cutting i said kind of ended about 25ish wasn't like that and to be honest with you at that time i i didn't think it was suicidal at all okay it didn't enter my mind suicide i think she said i think she said uh she might have had heart attack okay So I remember I'm on my way to go get Angel in Hollywood, and my mom lives in Anaheim, which is 50 miles away. Boom, I beeline it, turn around, and go, and my mom has had a heart attack. And when I get there at the hospital, she's on a ventilator and I opened the door and I'm like oh shit like you didn't have you

didn't know that was coming no um and it's a fucking problem dude sorry right it's a problem right and the doctor comes in and uh checks her pupils and said something about they're not dilated or something and he's like yeah bro she's not going to make it this is a massive heart attack then this isn't okay we're thinking at the time that she had the heart attack at home

and by the time they got there it was a problem and she passed away that night I had Angel so they went and got told my ex-wife if she could go get Angel because we're kind of cool right

and she's married too and she goes and gets Angel all my kids are there in the room and we're going to pull the plug and my son Angel's there my aunt's there my mama has a twin sister my Aunt Jackie's there

and we pull the plug and my mom pass away and we say our goodbyes and just just to tell people this is what happened to me I'm not seeing that's the way it is for everyone but when they said my mom

didn't have anything in or whatever when we said when I said our goodbyes me and my my godmother my mom's twin sister Jackie said our goodbye to my mom there was a little tear that I saw come out on my mom's eye and we pulled the plug

because that's the way I told my wife I told everyone hey if I'm in a situation like that pull that plug right pull that plug man I'm not I don't want to be a vegetable I don't want to be just send me up pull the plug if I go to heaven that's where I'm going I don't want to sit there and be a vegetable I hope he comes back and I don't want to I don't want to do that right so that's when things kind of change a little bit because now I don't have my mom to help me you know I guess for the people out there um obviously it's

heartbreaking when your parent passes away but it's not as bad if you have a good relationship like oh man we did this we had a bad we didn't see much me and my mom were cool right me and my mom i was her only son so me and my mom were cool and we had a fantastic relationship a lot of time together um love my mom um and you know it is what happened and we had to deal with it so after that angel goes back to his grandmas and Now, like we're saying before, like, I'm slang and drugs still. And where's Angel's mom? Is she in the picture at all?

She's not in the picture. Okay. She's not in the picture today. She's not in the picture. Okay. One of Angels half-sisters is in the picture a bit. She's a good girl, good young lady. She's 20 now.

I knew her there. No, she's 22 now probably. We just saw her on Angels graduation last week. He graduated high school. But, yeah, she's not, she's a user. Right. Hopefully, she's a user today, I think. Hopefully she gets her together.

Wish her well, you know. But I have to play the hand that's dealt. Yeah. This is what's dealt. So you don't have anybody to help. Just the twins. I got the twin girls. And I'm doing my thing.

I'm starting to see angels. When I go to jail, Angel is 18 months old. Right. So this happened. I'm trying to think. This happened when Angel was, he was born April of age. He was only two and a half months old.

Right. When my mom passed. So this was in June. Yeah. So we go the year. And he's with his grandma too, right? Like, grandma has them most of the time. Right.

But I'm giving her money. Right. I'm taking care of them. But let me tell you something about me and angel as he's getting older. I've never experienced this, but it was something that was awesome with me and him is when I would leave the room, he would cry. We had that kind of relationship. He's eight months old. He's not an infant, you know, then eight, nine months old, ten months old, 11 months old. I was his everything. I believe that. Even though his grandma was a big part of his life,

when I would leave the room he would cry Right And you know He's still with me I took care of him And then boom After in August He's 18 months old

I go to jail I get arrested So how does that How does that come about So I have Can we stop One I go to the bathroom

Okay So we know you're about to tell how you got arrested, right? Okay. Sorry. You want to go to the bathroom? How do, I mean, they didn't just show up at your door one day. Like there was a, so there was a, there was a, there was a whole thing, right?

Like your name had to be mentioned. They didn't randomly pick your house out. No, no, no, no, no. I was, um, I was in a conspiracy with about 14 people. Right. So I got motion detectors around my house. At that time, we didn't have cameras. Maybe they did.

But this was. Oh, four, oh, four, or five. Yeah, they had motion detectors. Right. Well, what I'm saying is, how did they even get to your house? Was this? Oh, they were watching. Right, but I'm saying, did somebody else get busted?

Was there a controlled by, or your name just got mentioned? Well, that would be skipping ahead to where we're at now. So maybe we'll just go with when I got arrested and I'll tell you. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, yeah. I just don't want, I just don't forget. I'm not going to forget. Yeah, yeah.

I'm not going to forget. It's like one day somebody said, oh, a drug dealer works, lives there, and they said, let's go bust him tomorrow morning. You're going to like this. You're going to like this when I tell you. But it helps when you're not a drug user

when you get arrested tremendously. Right. Because you got your head right. When you're a user and you get busted, you ain't got your head right yet. Right. And you stumble and you make mistakes. I didn't make those mistakes.

So they come to the door. I hear motion, my alarms, beep, beep, they're going off. I'm in bed with one of the twins. But let's rewind with one of the twins. I never had them together. So if people are, and they're wondering, hey, this dude had identical twins together. No. We were together, but separate.

Right. That way. There's no menager, twas going on. No, no, no. It's a pain in the ass, to be honest. You know what? Sounds good, but it's honestly, it's just bumpy and awkward and somebody's left out. No, it just makes memories.

It makes good memories. you know it's like having sex in the shower it sounds good when you tell people when you tell people hey dude having two or three girls at a time

that was just normal it wasn't every day but it wasn't like once every three months every week okay so it's just normal but normal guys that never had that

or wasn't in our world they're like holy shit but believe me it's a shitty life so let's get back to where we were at though it's a shitty life you think you're the king but you're just a piece of shit so um i hear the motion detectors go off i jump out of bed i hit the back door and we have a swimming pool and then there's a concrete fence about six feet high to get to the neighbors and you think that they're coming to arrest you just like that i don't

know exactly what it is yet okay i just hear motion and i'm hearing loud banging like someone's breaking this door down because I've been around that shit. This isn't a burglar. Not at 7 in the morning. It's not a burglar coming knocking down to the door like that. So I'm like, I jump up. I'm in my underwear, no shirt. I hit the back door around the swimming pool to the fence.

I'm looking back. And I see a cop with just his head out with a trigger. And I'm like 20 yards away. he goes don't move I'll fuck that I'm sorry about that right I goes oh no

I'm gone yeah because in my mind now I don't got anything at the house bro I'm thinking I'm getting raided okay

I don't know it's a feds I think I'm just getting raided so I'm thinking in my mind at the time they're gonna end up leaving

because they ain't gonna find nothing so I'm cool no reason for you to sit in your underwear and handcuffs no so I go hide under a bush

like four doors down I'm under a bush and I'm just there and I'm there and I'm seeing cop cars bro circling around but they ain't seeing me and again in my mind

I'm like hey they're gonna leave because there's nothing there and then about an hour and a half I'm guessing approximately an hour and a half later one of the feds comes up he goes if you move

I'll blow your effing head off right that's what he says and I don't move and then I get out slowly and then he cuffs me we go around to the house you're still in your underwear I'm still in my underwear

and they set me on one of the chairs there's like 10 of them there and the two twins are there and I don't even really know what they said yet because now I'm trying to get my bearings because I'm trying to figure out what's going on because you ain't found I know you haven't found anything except maybe a pipe for one of the girls i don't know but they didn't find anything

and um i'm getting arrested or whatever and i got this badass hardly sitting in my garage bro custom badass and uh they put me in the fort explorer i think it was put me in the explorer and we're in san bradino and we're going to riverside which is half an hour drive now this is why not using drugs I think helps you help me is the cop wants to chop it up with me in the car but I know this dude's recording I know right it's just hey man that's a nice Harley I don't even say a word I don't even comment I don't get him bad an eye I don't do anything and he's asking me a few other questions because I guess he tried to start with the Harley but I ain't even talking to this dude I ain't said a word and he goes oh you're not going to say nothing huh

And even when he said, oh, you're not going to say nothing, I didn't say nothing. I'm not saying shit. So they get me to this federal building and take me up the elevator. I'm stealing. I got a T-shirt on now, but I'm in my underwear still. Right. They take me up to some office or whatever and holding cell, but it wasn't prison, something like that. It wasn't even a cell, I don't think.

It was like a room. Is it wrong that I want to know? Are these boxer briefs or these? Okay, thank you. Just for the mental picture. So. All right, so it's not that bad. If you want to look at it like that,

but these dudes, suits, you know how they wear. They come in, come with me. This is where, this is where shit starts happening now. Shit starts getting real now. Because right now I'm like, they got nothing, right?

They take me to the room, set me down, and there's a recorder right there. they say hey they're kind of cocky too right say listen to this click and it's my voice talking to my connect talking about blah blah blah and they only play it for like 15 20 seconds is this a phone call or an in-person phone call okay phone call do you have any idea this has been going on no nothing okay no warning because because I'm going to get to this. I don't know the guy.

He just brings me drugs, bro. Right. And I pay him. I don't know his name. I don't know. He's a phone number. I don't know nothing about him, which helped me. But I really don't.

I don't know anything about him. I don't know anything about the conspiracy. They stop the tape. Anything you want to tell us? I said, now I'm fucking, sorry. I'm getting cocky. I says, yeah, I think I need a lawyer. I don't say nothing.

Yeah. It ends right then. They take me to the holding cell, and in my holding cell, there's my connect. He's in the holding cell with me. Do you know it's him? Oh, you've, no, it's him. Sorry. I don't know his name.

I know it's him. And we're kind of talking a little bit, but see, I'm naive. I've never been arrested, right? I'm naive. What's going on? He could have been wearing a wire. Right. He could have been setting me up because I didn't know the game until I got to, you know, the federal

county jail where I'm staying there for 28 months and I'm hearing the people's stories coming in and out and I learned the game but at that time I don't know he could have been wearing a wire right because he's trying to he's the kingpin there's like 14 of us he's the kingpin dude right so they were catching him I just got the wave I was their bonus right

I'm I'm like and my crime he's on there too my co-defendant right he's on there too So He's on the tape Or he's locked up with you He's locked up So they grabbed you all at the same time

No he was grabbed separately He wasn't in He wasn't in there with us They caught him separately So We go in to the judge And I don't even really know What they say

But I'm in my underwear And I'm in a T-shirt And I tell you the truth I don't even know what they said Like conspiracies, whatever I don't even, they're talking a language I don't understand. Right.

Because I don't even know what a conspiracy is, dude. Right. It was a co-defendant that, I don't know anything. I'm naive. We get back into the holding cell, and there's this dude in there, we're talking, and they bring us Subway sandwiches, dude. And I'm like, this ain't that bad. Subway.

It's Subway, man. Right. But the guy in there says, hey, when you come to court in Riverside, you get Subway. It's not cool. But the food in the county is not that bad. It's not that bad where I'm going. It's not that bad. So, boom, they send me up.

I ain't getting out. I'm in the holding cell at the county waiting to get to my pot. And these pods aren't like federal. It's an old jail. It's a county jail that they put feds in. And most of them, half of them end up going to the Fed. What do you call it? You said earlier.

I never went there. The U.S. Marshal holdover. Yeah, holdover. I never went there. I stood my whole 28 months at the county. So I'm in the holding cell, and I'm hearing dudes talking 18 years, 12, I'm not telling him my case, 18 years, 12 years,

feds this, feds that, feds this. And I'm like, what? 18, dude, I'm in my mind. I'm not commenting, I don't know these dudes. I'm like, 18 years, it's drugs, bro. I've only heard people three years, four years, whatever, six years. I didn't kill anyone You know that times I've heard that

Yeah I killed you know how many times I said that I thought I got less time for manslaughter Not me but other people Like I've been out in eight years for manslaughter I got 18 with you know A pound and a half or whatever So I'm in there hearing this

And now I'm getting concerned I'm getting concerned bro I'm like 18 years 12 years 14 years blah blah blah I'm getting concerned I'm in hot water but in my mind they didn't caught nothing they don't have anything

they don't have anything I go up in the holding cell and I go up into you know the pod there's like 45 of us this is where I'm going to live for the next 28 months right but I don't know it at the time

I'm in there I'm hearing stories I'm learning game I'm peeping game mind you I got a lot of money bro I got good money I'm good

I got good money made a lot of money guys in there getting store whatever I'm getting store in the beginning right I'm good

in the beginning you smiled like oh shit it's coming and it is because it's drugs and you don't get nothing back

you don't get no returns you don't get no refunds people that owe you money that's gone yeah you can't do none that's gone even your best friend

that owes you money you ain't getting that bro so I'm in there it's funny the same guys that will rip you off for what

they owe you don't want you to tell on them oh you stinching on me you owe me 40 grand fuck you cut your fucking throat oh there you i'm three months in i'm three months in and i know now oh my we're going to get um bail right you got a right to bail everybody gets right to bail i get there i got three kids i've been working a job for 18 years i go there for Feds don't give you bail, but I don't know this, right? I'm naive. My dad comes down. He's there at the hearing, and my mom has already passed, so my dad comes down, and they're like,

hey, no, you ain't getting bail, you're a flight risk. Flight risk? What do you mean flight risk? How am I at flight risk? I'm not arguing, but in my mind, I'm pissed because how am I a flight risk? I got three kids. I don't have a passport. Where am I going?

Never lived anywhere but California. Never lived anywhere but California, but you ain't getting bail, bro, unless you got a house They do everything they can Not to give you bail Yeah Now if you were cooperating Of course you would probably get bail See I didn't know that at the time

Right I didn't get bail They'd be like Of course you're going to get bail Buddy No no bail for me And I could have maybe got bail If my dad would have put up his house

But my dad's old school Yeah He's Mexican Remember nine brothers Yeah Ten brother nine brothers He's the number nine Oh dude

My dad's hard Yeah It's hard like that It's cool but at the time I'm pissed at the time I'm like dude you're my dad where you think I'm gonna go

like you know I'm not going nowhere but I'm not arguing with them in my mind I'm thinking this and no bail for John so oh god okay so now

I've already been there three months and I know now a little bit of the game not a lot I'm gonna be there a while I'm gonna be there a while because this is feds you ain't going to trial

you ain't getting none of that for two years or 18 months right are you still thinking they don't have anything no or by now you're starting to realize at that time i'm screwed bro yeah i know already i know already is this just from the other inmates or have you talked to an attorney yet uh inmates inmates inmates inmates inmates the in the discovery i'm screwed oh you got the discovery yeah i'm screwed you saw the name the only thing they found was the pipe from your girlfriend they didn't find anything they didn't find anything they didn't find anything but i think when we were talking it was like the only thing you could have found was a pipe right but they were probably like i'm here for him and i wasn't there i left i ran right

so three months in um i'm like um what's the guy in the bible who has his uh hair long samson samson i'm samson dude i got long hair right i'm three months in i still got long hair after three months i don't have long hair no more dude i shaved it right why i ain't going nowhere bro I go to where I'm going to this home I'm not going to where I'm going to be there for a while what's happened to your house

I was a renter I was renting oh okay so what about your stuff oh you like this all the stuff's gone dude I knew that six weeks in

the twin girls they sold it all kept it all and you know they came to visit me here and there both of them right not together

but both of them and two months in two and a half months in I got no more money. Yeah. I'm broke. I got no store. I got no nothing. I'm broke, but I'm smart and I'm crafty and I'm figuring out the game. But it takes a minute because the people that run the game in the county have the game until they leave, right? So I'm getting there more time and I'm scoping and my turn's coming up to run game, but I'm not there yet. So I'm broke. I tell

the twin girls, I says, you know what? Because they're like, oh, we're going to get married one of them, I'm going to marry you, blah, blah, blah. Hey, just go. You're a headache. You were a headache when I was out and I had money. But I had to deal with you. You're a headache. I know I got 10 years coming in my mind somewhere in there.

I got 10 years coming. I'm better off by myself. Yeah. And I'm seeing guys on the phone. Oh, that's the stress box. I ain't stressing no more, bro. They're called the stress. Yeah.

I forgot that. I'm not stressing, dude. Yeah. I'm not stressing. no more because I'm I know where I'm going I know what I got to do I know the game and I'm learning

in the county and the first thing I start doing is I'm running at a casino now. Right. I'm the casino guy. So we run, we're using the cut up cards. We've cut up cards for chips. You buy in when you run out, you're out, winners like tournament,

right? But I get an item I take an item out of every tournament and we're running two three a day right so i'm cool now i got store coming i'm running i'm running the game um my case you know i'm i'm learning the game i'm i'm learning what people do what they don't do how they do it how much time who goes where how goes where and i'm talking to this one dude his name's name came but i'm not going to say his last name name came and it's like months in but let's rewind real quick because i know you could clip this let's rewind just back up back up a

minute angel in the beginning i get locked up i'm not seeing him i don't know where he's at i don't know what he's doing i don't know the grandmother i don't know where they're at i think they're in hollywood but i don't know right no one's seen jennifer his mom no one's seen him no one's helping me remember i got no family which we'll get into later i got no family what about the ex-wife the ex-wife she's out she's doing her thing she's cool but it just didn't you can only ask so much yeah um and uh as we i'm in their learning game i haven't heard of angel i hear he's sick though i hear he has a disease but i don't know what it is yet at this time i can't confirm nothing right i don't know nothing because you're in prison you hear a lot of stories or right

So I'm a year in I finally get his phone number I get a phone number to grandma And I'm like I'm going to get to talk to my son See what's going on I call grandma I call grandma Kathy

Say hey where's Angel It's like 9 o'clock a night After count 830 Because I probably got it I probably called How did I get the phone number I got to think from my ex-wife

so after dinner or whatever I called she gave it to me I called grandma grandma says call tomorrow he's in bed I'll say okay I said I called tomorrow same time I call him tomorrow I never hear from her again for all the years I spent in there I never heard from her again never heard about Angel again never heard anything in retrospect because I didn't know the whole game in retrospect I think if I would have told my lawyer and especially at sentencing Listen, I'm a criminal

I need help I know you're going to sentence me and I know I'm going to do some time but I need to see my son I don't know where my son is I have no contact I hear he's sick I think the feds would have found him

I think the I think your lawyer would have been some phone calls I think but I didn't think of that you know because I just didn't think of it you know I have time to do so that's about a year in

I talked to Kane Kane tells me you got to tell him what happened happen you got you got a you got a snitch i guess right right but in my case i didn't know anyone they could ask me a thousand questions i don't know where does he live i don't know where does he get i don't know i don't even know his name right they have all the phone number this is the phone number i call the guy meets me with some what the fucking that's that's all i know i know nothing about nothing and everybody's already been picked up and they've all been picked up are they already

cooperated all of them already I know nothing so when I basically when I tell them what happened I'm just telling on myself right I'm not I have nothing to give and they know everything I probably already anyway right

they already know everything so I just have to do my part so I could get it downward departure right okay but again they already knew it all and they already snitched because he told me oh I already know they did my lawyers I already know they did

because I don't know how they know but they're saying they already signed off or something or whatever. But you couldn't prove it, but he's like, I already know they did. So, and then my crimey, the kingpin, he left. And he went back to Mexico. He went to federal holding. And the federal holding that they go,

I heard that that federal holding, like, that's where they take people that tell. Not everyone, but if you're in the county, because it was a shithole where I was at, and you snitch, they move you out. Yeah. Because there ain't no help. Like, it ain't like,

you can get some bad news in the county that you it's it's easier to do in the county than it is to do in the federal holding let's say that so i go do that and now i'm just waiting in 16 months 18 months go by and mind you i'm in their 28 months and i'm like oh man sentencing date comes and then it gets pushed back and you know in the feds if you if you um They shut down the courts and the transportation in December for like two months, two weeks. I'm sorry, two weeks. So I get sentenced like in October, and, you know, 26 months in.

And I'm like, and it usually takes four weeks to get out of there. I've been there 28 months. I know how it works, right? Yeah, you see the guys get sentenced and they're gone? They go on, two, three weeks, yeah. They're gone. I'm in there four weeks. And I'm like, I'm, like, I'm.

still here and it's November and then another week goes by another week goes by I call my lawyer and um I says hey dude I'm still here man like it's been seven weeks I should be gone and he says oh I'm going to check into it I'm going to check into it okay but there's important there's important part of the story how much time did you get uh I did four years 10 months I think I got what's that 456 months something like it's been 12 13 years but here's the kicker here's where the craftiness and the brains come in where i got four years off my sentence oh yeah and i didn't have to say a word tell snitch and this is what i did not everyone does this this is what i did my lawyer comes it's like on a sunday and it's he comes he comes to the

county it says it didn't work out as well as I thought but I have your what do they call plea agreement I guess yeah sentencing or whatever and they want to give you 12 years 12 years but I'm thinking 7-8 that because I've been around right I've been around I've heard I've known the stories I know what happened I know who did what and I was like okay so I'm reading it this is the kicker this is it right here he says oh seven pounds of methamphetamine at 95% pure and I look at him and I says like you're him I says hey that wasn't 95% pure

he says how much was it and this is where I got saved me four years goes how much was it I says I'm not going to tell you I'm not going to tell you what it is how do you know it wasn't 95% because I know it wasn't 95%. So it turns out that they never tested it. So instead of it being

7 pounds in 95 or 98% purity, it was 7 pounds of a mixture. That was the wordy, a mixture of methamphetamine. Right. So now that took me down, boom, boom, boom, boom, down the departure, and that's where I got.

So it was what, three pounds ended up being three pounds of actual it ended up being seven I don't know how nobody knew they didn't test it because that's why I told I says I'm not going to tell you you got to tell me they got to tell me what it was right but I'm telling you right now it wasn't 95% did they test it no I don't think they did because they never came back

they just came back they just said okay we'll drop that charged out we'll just give them what it was right we'll just the magical 98% purity we'll just yeah he's right like you try to catch me you know Like anyone else have been, oh, because they don't know. Yeah. Like, oh, I guess it was. You know, let's see.

Can we get two years off? Can we try? No, dude. I'm not going to tell you. Right. You got to tell me. And they never did. That's where I got the time off.

So when you walked in front of the judge, they said what? How much? Seven pounds of a mixture. Okay. But I'm saying what was the time? Oh. So initially. 58 months, something like that.

Well, you're saying 58 months. I did four years, 10 months. But, you know, you got a good time and you got the halfway house that I did. No, no, I'm saying before you got a downward departure, was it like 10 years and they knocked off 40% or 50%? It would have been like 9 probably. Yeah, yeah, okay. So they knocked up like 40%, 30%, 40%. Okay.

So your sentencing, your pre-sentence report said 12 years, you got it down to about nine and then they dropped it to just shy of five years? Yeah. Okay. But again, prefaces, when they say, oh, this guy's a snitch or whatever, look, man, they already knew everything. Yeah. They already had it on tape. They didn't just have it with words. They had it all on recordings.

Okay. I didn't give them nothing except for what happened to me. Right. Because I had nothing else to give. Everybody's already cooperated. Yeah, but I'm just saying I had no other information from me helped them with anything except me. Right. you know I finally and they had me anyway

guys were probably going to testify against me anyway so I might as well just tell them myself so you're preaching the choir I'm with you I hear you you did the right thing trust me you made the right call that's the game that's why I'm glad I didn't get bail because I wouldn't have had this knowledge

if I didn't if I got bail so it was great that I didn't because also the time was hard in the county 28 months where did I go after they sentenced me I went to a camp bro listen did you not hear the whole time you were locked up like I just want to get sentenced and go to prison many times and never made sense to me prison was the whole was the was much worse than this they were like are you fucking serious prison's a fucking joke compared to this especially I was in the county compared to this especially I was in the county bro guys are like I'm gonna you know what I'm gonna hit the compound that night I'm gonna have a fucking ice cream I'm gonna have you're like what ice creamer yeah flavored Creamer in your coffee, bro? It's crazy. Like, it's amazing from being out here, how low your expectations get of life in the county jail. You're like, if I could actually have a TV of my own, like I would hear about guys in California got up their own TV.

That's insane. You have your own TV. Like, we, you know, you would have the TV. You'd write down like, I want to watch this program on Sunday night. And then you'd have to write down. And other guys be like, nah, fuck that. We're watching such and such. you didn't write it down you know oh my god they're like i'm watching such and such

and you're like okay i guess you're watching such or such thank you i'll make sure i write it down next week sorry my fault my fault so sad yeah i wrote it on the list i don't see your name it's on there oh wow i see it right here yeah i see it yeah you got it you got it you got it so so check this out finally i get to um they send me to uh victorville okay but that's not where i go they got a transition that's where they fly people out bus people out blah blah blah but lucky me i go there at christmas time so now i got a set in victorville's ten-man holding cell with an hour a day out right for two weeks so Kind of lucky, fortunately, whatever.

I meet this one homie, and he says, hey, he says, where are you going? I says, I'm going to Atwater. Hey, tell the guy who gives the clothes out. I said, what's up? Whatever. I forgot his name, what his name was. Say, Steve, whatever. I said, okay, cool, cool.

So, boom, I get to County. I'm going to get to, I go in. There's an Atwater high level, and there's an Atwater camp. Camp. So I'm with dudes, dudes. Yeah. Okay. And I'm with the.

few campers, right? Oh, yeah. But I don't tell them I'm a camper. I don't say shit. You're in the fucking bus these guys. These guys look like fucking gladiators. They're cut up. They got bullet holes in them.

They're missing eyes. They're like this the whole time with the box on. They got a box on. They're like this the whole time. You can tell the camp guys are just like, oh my. No, I wasn't like that. Oh, my God. No.

Look at you. No, I wasn't like that. No. I'm not even pretending to be hard. No, I'm not hard, but I wasn't like that. Because I was in county for 28 months. I got into some fights, okay? I've been in fights my whole life here and there.

So I'm not like, I'm not the tough guy. I'm not the guy who says, oh, come, I'm not that guy. I don't know. But I've thrown some of you. Those nails look manicured. So what happens? So, so I get in the county and they got to give you the clothes as soon as you get there. Separate from the big dorm.

Big dorms, like 125, 40 people. I don't know exactly. So I get there and the guy who passed out the clothes. I forgot his name, same Steve. hey your home boy so-and-so said to say what's up and he gives me good clothes right because you know whatever and then i walk into the doors into the mind you i've done 28 months with some dudes okay i've done and and i got some like i've done some time not serious 28 months in county some time bro right i walk into the camp and it's a lot of people and it's kind of quietish compared to where

i was at because everyone's got headphones we didn't have headphones in the county so one of the homies comes up to me and they're showing me the layout from here's bathroom but there's no politics in in pretty much at all in the camp it's a camp yeah it's a camp yeah showing me around blah blah blah blah blah and then it's like seven eight other dudes there homies and um he tells me as we're walking hey what'd you do i say i mean i just got into some bullshit and uh so we're walking around and he says stop for whatever introduced whatever and he says hey man some of these guys and I'm going to get a little loud right now just so you know

it says some of these guys said you might be a snitch and I'm like oh I'm pissed because I'm like wait a minute here dude we're in a camp bro we're not with no hard criminals here

so everybody snitched in this place bro if 98% of the people snitch I'm not telling them this but I'm like hey dude no because in my mind I know you all snitched you're on camp you ain't no hard criminal 98% of the people

snitch and you're telling me you're the select few because this is a hard camp no dude this is a camp this is a camp you all snitched there's no hard camp no there is no hard camp there's shitty camps yeah you and there's some hard people in there that they have come down some but they're also not politic and they're not like wanting to check people's paperwork and none come on none so i'm like i'm pissed because first of all i'm no chomo right because you can't be in a if you're a chomo right so i ain't that and you're gonna be worried if i'm a snitch when we're in a camp yeah no so i says i'm not sleeping around you guys i'm sleeping over here and that's where i stood do you know why because i'm a prick that's why i'm a prick i know i'm an asshole sometimes right

and i don't care and whatever's on it's on i guess but i'm not gonna i'm not gonna be it wasn't really homies in the camp right so i'm not gonna be over there i'll be over here so i do my time in the camp mind you it's now 29 months i and i'm i'm cool because i know it's a i'm watching a super bowl we got creamered coffee right i'm working in the kitchen because they told me you don't got no money you got to work go go to the kitchen go work in a kitchen go work in a kitchen i'm working in the kitchen i got easy time bro i'm in a camp as far as if you got to do time goes right and no one's really fighting much not much bigger no one wants to leave the camp so I get there

um still no angel talking to my kids on the phone um and I say it's February January I know I got a year and four or five months I haven't done the full calculations yet but I got a year and four or five months left I've just done 28 months in the county

I'm cool here I can deal with this so in my process now now I'm starting to think what's the game plan for getting out what's life's plan what's the game plan what's going on you're not getting out to nothing

yeah um and I'm getting out to nothing and I know I'm not getting out to nothing what are you going to do John like what we got what's internally what am I going to do well like I said I'm not being arrogant I'm a good looking guy I'm going to come out

shredded I'm going to come out looking the best I can look some guys want to come out bulk but for some reason I don't put on a lot of muscle, but I can come out shredded with muscle. And I come out after county, I'm shredded, bro. And I hit the halfway house. So basically in the county, it was just pretty much easy time, softball, regular, you know, no big stories, nothing big happened.

I got to see my kids and hug them after three years, because in the county you couldn't touch anyone. They came and visited me one time. My dad brought them. So when they came to the visiting room, I got to hug them. mind you enough you do get furloughs in the i don't know if they do it now but back in the camp then you got furloughs yeah so they don't get furloughs anymore not in the camp not in coleman not that i mean i was never in coleman but i know guys that are in coleman they're not doing any

well the only i know that camps when they move you from camp to camp they give you like a bus ticket yes you know like but no i don't know anybody that's ever like gone for like a week or a weekend What year is this? By the way, this is also California, right? Okay. You know what I'm saying? So you got a weekend furlough. I think the first time, because I wasn't there long enough,

the first time you got 24 hours, not 20, I'm a liar. You get like 12 hours, 14 hours. And then actually there was some guys, if you had done like five, six years there, eventually you got a weekend. It wasn't often. I don't even remember how often it was. But I remember when my dad came and visited me,

it was a day before my birthday. and I plan my furlough because it's in September on my birthday so I got to furlough out on my birthday and spend it with my kids and my dad so my dad lives by Atwater

so we went to... That's lucky. That's why they sent me to Atwater because I basically told him, send me wherever you want because I got no family. It don't really matter. The closest camp was taft but I'm thinking I don't really care I don't have a lot of time left. So send me wherever you want to send me

It didn't matter But they sent me to Atwater Because that's the address I put Because that was my dad's I have an address Right So my dad would visit me here and there Cool, came to visit me

So I get to spend the birthday with my kids Get back I got a new pair of tennies I'm happy because you could bring tennies in They didn't trip you know I'm running the kitchen I got vegetables

I got real eggs. I'm cool. I got things going on. I'm cooking for some dudes or whatever. So he's saying that he worked in the kitchen because in the kitchen you can get extra food. You can sell food. You can smuggle food out.

You get to sell it. You get that's like that's your hustle. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I would sell food, chicken because they make tacos and nachos later when it was chicken day or whatever. Fish, mad fish.

So I'd fry the fish. Hot wings. Wednesday, Hamburger Day. Yeah, I don't know what day was what day for that. I don't think it was like that with the... Yeah, they did, but I don't remember what day it was. I don't remember what... We used to get hamburgers on Wednesdays.

It's good stuff. Hamburgers and french fries. Or chicken late quarters. That was cool. But I wanted to say, because I saw you on some of your podcast, you said on one of your podcasts, you said, what was I going to do? I had 18 years or whatever many years you had to do.

I forgot the number. At 26 years. What am I going to do? Stay to myself. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I got a mingo. I got a mingle with some people, right? Yeah.

I mean, I got too much time. I still myself. Yeah. I didn't have a lot of time left. I was like, I'm not dealing with these dudes, you know, and I dealt with very few. I knew I had, you know, so little time. I'm, somebody, 14 months, it's a long time, but for the feds it wasn't, I guess. Right.

So I kind of just stood to myself, did my time. Worked out. I'd workout partners. Cool dudes. Good dudes. TV games. I'm a sports. fanatic, a lot of sports.

A lot of sports, Betty, going on everywhere. Not me, but a lot of that. So now we're getting to the part with the angel part, right? Right. And I know people are going to be like, nah, that's bullshit. It couldn't have happened that way. But it's kind of like a fairy tale story, dude.

Like, I'm three weeks from the house going to halfway house, okay? And still no contact with Angel. Nothing. And then my ex-wife, I'm calling my kids, and she gets on the phone and she says, Angels in foster care. And I have a phone number for you to call. This whole time I'm thinking he's with grandma. I don't know any different.

So I get the phone number. I go to my case manager the next morning because, you know, you have certain phone numbers. You can call with the feds. You can't just call out to the numbers. Yeah, yeah, you can't. Yeah, it's got to go to the list. Well, yeah, and even if you're going to go to the list. call foster care, it's going to go to a, like it's going to go to a system.

You've got to push seven. Well, I can't push seven because you have to answer the call. Right. You know, the phone system doesn't answer the call. Right. I go to my case manager, caseworker, whatever. We call him from his phone. I'm John.

I'm Angel's dad. I'm going to be out in three weeks. I want them. What do I need to do? How do I need to do it? And they really didn't tell me how I need to do it. They were basically like, call us when you get out. Right.

So, boom. I get out. And for those of you have done time, maybe five, four years isn't a lot for a lot of people. Maybe it is for a lot of people. But it's the greatest day of your life. Like, I was so euphoric when I saw my dad at the bus stop. I was like, oh, freedom.

I was so happy. Right. You know, I've done my four years, 10 months, and I'm happy. And instead of taking the bus, my dad drove me to San Bernardino to the halfway house. So I get his phone. I call the case, I'm sorry, I call it CPS or whatever, I'm out, what do I need to do? How do I need to do it?

Blah, blah, blah. He's got a court case in like three weeks. He's in foster care, whatever. How long had you been in foster care? Two years. See, I didn't know that. He was in foster care when I called grandma when she said he was asleep. Oh, why she didn't want to tell you?

Uh-uh. Okay. No. And the bummer thing about it is if, had I known, I know my X, Y, would have taken him she'd got three of my kids she'd have taken him he'd never had to been in foster care right i got brother and sister that i think if i ought to call them they might have taken them to better than foster care um what about so why did grandma say she called fostered they just show up what happened i don't know okay i really i really don't know

i never asked because i got to you i'm laser focused right that don't matter to me anymore right how he got there doesn't matter i get it i'm out What do I need to do to get him? Right. That's it. That's what that's the most important thing. Whatever else happened, it don't matter. Right.

I got to get my son. What do I need to do to get my son? So I get to the, you know, halfway house. We call him again. He's got a court date like two, three weeks later, whatever have you. And I hit the court. My dad bought me a truck. He got me a truck when I got out.

I used truck, but I didn't have any money. I didn't have anything. So I was busing it. it. Here's a guy who was bawling, making 15 grand a week, comes out, and he's taking the bus. Right. No money. And that's what I was doing. I hear you. So my dad buys me the car, the truck, and I go to the first visit. I got two of my kids with me.

And we meet at a park. And he comes up to me, dude. Can't even describe the feeling, bro. How old was he at this point? Six, seven. four and a half five five okay um and we hug he he he's not a shy shy but he's scared maybe i guess or something but he knew i was dad like not because he remembered but he they told him he's smart and we hugged and we played and we got an hour and it was great and um yeah um that's how it worked out the first time, but let me tell you, rewind just real quick to the court.

When I walk into the court the very first time, they're pissed. I'm stand up. I'm John Rodriguez. I'm Angels. Dad. The judge looks at me. I've been gone for years, right? And his attorney, because the kids have an attorney, right? She goes, like, where have you been? And I'm not saying much. You know, I'm Here, what do I need to do? How do I need to do it? Yeah. Whatever. And that's when they set up the visitations.

So we got the visitations. But right when I walked out the door, because I'm telling him, I want to get my son, the, my son's lawyer says, yeah, we'll see. We'll see what you do. Cocky, you know. But I'm laser-focused. I don't care what you say. Yeah, yeah.

It's irrelevant. She didn't have to be nice to me. No. Because I know at that time, I'm getting my son. And you have to think about what she sees. Right. She doesn't see a lot of fucking winners walking through the door. You know, she doesn't see a lot of people that, a lot of people promise big.

You know, I'll bet she's seen thousands of people come in there and say, oh, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do that and do that. And next thing, you know, they're back in prison or they're back on drugs or shit. They don't even hear from them for two years. Right, right. She's seen the worst. She's seen a lot. Yeah.

And like I said, but she says doesn't matter. Yeah. What anyone says doesn't matter. Because I know where I'm going. I don't know how I'm going to get there because I don't know career path. I don't know exactly what's going on. on. But I just know I'm going to get them because I'm not going to do anything not to get them. Right. So I'm working for an air conditioning company as a gopher because I got to get

a job, right? Yeah. I mean, you can't walk out and be a CEO or a manager of something. You got to grind. Yeah. So for the felons out there or whatever that we talked about earlier, just go get any job and kick ass at it. Be the best. If you got to work at a donut shop, you make those donut circles and you put that circle donut and you frost it right and you make that look like you creased your pants on going on a visit. You know what I'm saying? And you kick ass for six months.

So when you go to the restaurant that you want to be a worker at or a real construction or whatever kind of job, you say, look, I know I'm a felon. I know that I had problems, but I've been working at this donut factory and I've been there for six months. I never missed a day and I've never been late. Now I want to come work for you.

Let me tell you what I could do. Right. You know, and that's what I did as the gopher. I'm the nobody but cool and my ex-wife got me the job because I got to get

out of the halfway house while I was working mind you I got no family I got no money I got the truck my dad's family

but he's 400 miles away yeah so I got nothing he can't get your job he's 400 miles away and so I'm there and I see a little riffraff

and whatever the halfway house I'm not involved I get my truck I do that and then my uncle wife gets me and I'm going to the court I'm going not I think there was a couple court dates but it was

more visits one hour visits once a week never late the foster care lady I only got an hour and you weren't getting an hour in one minute you weren't getting an hour in three minutes like wrap it up dude 58 minutes you know and again I'm focused whatever you do as mean as you want to be I don't care I'm getting my son so then I'm talking I actually met grandma for the first time grandma Kathy after I got out at one of angels um doctor visits so can we pause real quick we haven't gone we haven't gone into his disease yet right we got to bring that up yeah yeah bring it up now so is now the first doctor visit like the right time yeah you yeah I mean why not okay so that's what I want because we hadn't yeah yeah you had you know I would just say you had noticed just before you left that

he had some issues but you didn't really know where it was can I get another coat yeah i got it well okay it's in the fridge uh chest chest height the in the back okay all right i had to sit up straight okay so the first time i'm shredded i wasn't shredded going in. It's a little overweight. Not a lot. A little overweight. But I'm, I'm, right now I weigh about 192. Then I weighed about 162. Right. Okay. She didn't even recognize me. She, she had no idea who I was. And we were setting 10 feet apart at Angel's IV. He had to get an IV every four weeks to help with his immune system. Right. Because he has a disease and the disease is called, and you'll post it up. We won't put it on here exactly. But,

Antaxia italicantasia. So basically it's an immune deficiency disease and it attacks your blood cells and it attacks your nervous system. And basically, um... Take your time. You're pretty...

You're fairly normal when you're little. Right. You know, I noticed he was a little off fed 18 months, but he will, yeah, maybe he was 16 months, but I couldn't pinpoint it, you know, he fell a little more maybe than others, okay? But it wasn't noticeable, noticeable. But I knew it when I saw him, but the first doctor visit that I went to for his IV, for his immune system, that's where I see the grandma, and I find out that it just, it debilitates, you and as time goes on as time goes on so when i met him he could walk but he couldn't stand

straight he could stand up but he would have to he would wobble a little bit but he could um he could play he could run right um he could play kickball he couldn't play baseball but he could kick a ball and walk so i have my own apartment we're at the doctors that's where i meet her she's like hey are you blah blah blah and i was like yeah i cat because i i was like kathy kathy she took back like hey uh it's john she didn't know i don't what are you doing here i'm here angel uh because the foster character ladies bringing him to the iv i'm not bringing him with the iv she's not bringing him with the iv the foster care lady's bringing him to his doctor's appointment why was she there she's just to see him

to see him she loved him she good grandma she loved him um things happened i don't know what but irrelevant um and she's part of his life and she loves him i'm not going to be mad at her for whatever happened because i think all children need love from grandma grandpa whoever and if it's a bonus keep it it's a bonus man he needs love so um um now at this point me and angel have our own apartment it's just me and him how long does it take for you to get get him back

um he came after about two months we had weekend visits but only with grandma kathy grandma kathy had to be there for the weekend and his sister sister about two years old she's probably nine then or something so he came on the weekends and then I took him back

Sunday or Monday or whatever it was um the caseworker's name was mr penrose penrose right and uh he's come to the house and i said you know i know you're going to keep coming to the house i'm gonna let you know it doesn't bother me because i know eventually you're not going to come to the house anymore right because the house was spotless and i was a vegetarian and we ate good everything was clean everything was in order exceptional like clean freak like like prison prison i'll do that too yeah clean so when they came wasn't a problem this was like

August I remember it's August Mind you I've been out since April Now I tell you this I had an opportunity to get with women while I was out I had people want to introduce me apartment

blah blah blah It's April I haven't had been with a woman in four and a half years Right But I'm laser focused bro I'm not getting with no women I'm not taking no women out

I'm not getting involved with nothing Until I get my son I'm getting involved with nothing nothing because my focus is to get my son so i went out with no one i called no one it's going to church stuff but not no individual dating no group dating nothing because i'm getting my son i gotta get my son so we get i get him in august and now they're not coming and they're signed off no i'm liar we went he lived with me in august they signed off in december okay so but and we're living by ourselves this whole time since probably June ish it's just me and

him and it's like um I kind of viewed it like the courtship of Betty's father I don't know if you remember the show where it was the guy who played the Hulk was it Bill Bigsby or something and he had a sole son it was just him and his little son right and it was a show about them okay that was me and my son just me and him nobody else you know we out of to eat. I'm working now as an apartment manager, but I'm also getting bonuses by doing cleanouts of apartments because it's a big, it's H&J property. They manage like 30 different apartments. I just managed one of them. My ex-wife was the director. So they gave you 150 bucks every time you got to clean out apartment when they left and they left at a mess. And they did. I'd make 150 bucks

if I cleaned it out. But the bonus was I got to keep if something for a yard sale. that I could sell out a yard sale to make extra money. So $150, and I might find $100 worth of whatever. So I was doing that. I cleaned up yards for the apartments. It didn't matter because I work. I don't care what kind of work it is. Whatever it is.

Just tell me what I got to do and I'll do it. And they loved me because I have a good personality and I can talk so I could rent properties. So I would rent other apartments in another apartment buildings for them. and they'd give me money right so we did that um once december came i went out on my first date because now i had my son and now we're good we're settled in we have a good relationship blah blah blah and um taking them to just doctor's appointments taking them in infusions doing everything that i need to do to to to stay on track and i'm cool i'm not even a problem

I go to a Christmas party I meet a girl She's an RN Because mind you When I'm in prison I have a lot of time to think And I'm not getting with the girl That's got two kids living with mom

When I get out Because I don't have nothing I'm not homeless anymore But I don't have a lot I have a good work ethic And I'm smart And I'm crafty But I'm not getting another anchor

I'm not getting an anchor I'm getting a winner Period I'm getting a winner She's an RN She's an RN She's an RN took her out once

I already knew immediately she wasn't the one because I already in my mind I'm not wasting time dating girls that I know I'm not going to marry that I know I'm not going to marry

I'm not going to marry. I'm not going to say the first date I know I'm going to marry them but on the first date if I know they're not the one there ain't no sense in starting a sexual relationship

because we can and then get twisted into that because I'm not having that. I went out on a second date with this other girl that worked for the county this is like in

early January. And she tells me about 10 minutes into the date. She goes, yeah, sometimes I get drunk. I said, oh, yeah, okay, good. I'm playing it up, cool, whatever. And right there immediately, boom, you ain't the one. That's all. That's all you had to tell me.

You ain't the one. Was she saying I get drunk like I drink? Or she's saying, like, sometimes I drink too much? No, she was like, if I remember, Chris, like, sometimes I get drunk, like that. But drunk or whatever, because I don't drink. Right. I don't drink. I still don't drink.

I don't smoke. So I'm going to get with a woman that doesn't drink and doesn't smoke. And when you tell me that you get drunk sometimes, I already know you're not the one. Right. Right. Well, if you're telling me that in the first 10 minutes, when hit the movies yet? It's probably more than sometimes I get a little drunk.

And it sounds like sometimes you black out drunk. And mind you, like I'm ready to go with the woman. You know what I mean? Like I've waited, I've done my time. Like, for instance, I've done my time. Right. And I've had girls come up to me and I'm like, oh, before. I don't initiate.

I don't give them that energy. Even though they're giving me the energy, I'm not giving them the energy pro. Right. Because I'm on a mission. So in late January, I'm on MySpace, and I'm, you know, trying to find... MySpace.

MySpace. Not Facebook yet. Yeah. I'm on MySpace, and, you know, I'm trying to meet women or whatever have you. And some lucky reason enough, my wife replied back, you know. and she says,

hey, I'm at the movies. You mind if I call you later? And she did. And it turns out, you know, she has a house in the hills. She's a principal, smart, witty, pretty, good personality. My wife is a kind of person that

she could just make friends with everyone. She's not social, blah, blah, blah, but everybody loves her. Everybody likes her. She's a very extremely nice, straight shooter woman. You know, educated, and all these boxes are check, check, check, check, check. Hmm.

When we go out on a date, okay, I don't know if I'm going to marry you, but it's a good road. Checking all the boxes. So we're dating for a couple months. It's still me and Angel. And, you know, she's a principal. What are her friends? They're all principals. Her best friends from high school.

Does she know you just got out of prison? She knows. She knows third date. I didn't think you should lead out with that, right? No, it's never worked out from, for me when I've led out. Right. I never let out with it, but about the third date, I let her know, hey, you know, I got my son and I did prison time, but I told her a little bit about it.

And she was cool with it, but her friends weren't. No. all her friends are they're not yippity people they're like upper middle classish right and I'm a prick I'm the low life to them I don't know what they said right but I know they didn't like me and I know her mom didn't like me okay what you're just prison what's just icing on the cake you know I'm like but but I don't know all this and I we're dating she loves me now right like we're cool and at two months three months I'm like hey now this I don't see any of this I don't see any signs that this is going to end.

Right. You know, there is no signs that tell me we're not going to get married. You know, I'm not proposing yet, but I don't see anything wrong with us getting married. So, and I am kind of a loser in a wave to the outside world, you know. I live in an apartment. I'm an apartment manager. I've done prison time. I don't have a lot of money.

Yeah, it doesn't scream success. No. But I have a good work ethic. And I know, I know my wife probably noticed that. And I'm a good dad because now I had my son, right? And it's all about my son. And I'm staying on the track to get my son, no more visits. It's a fairly normal life.

I'm still in the halfway house. I'm not in the halfway house. I'm sorry. But I had the six months in the halfway house where I had to check in. Even though I had my apartment, drug test, you know, blah, blah, blah. So, but I'm all past that. No ankle monitor. No ankle monitor.

Okay, because that's hard to explain on a date. What's that? It's a bracelet. and you know if I had told my wife it was a bracelet she'd believe me that's my wife very trust that's my wife I say I know I bought it a Ross on clearance it blinks she said oh really she'd have believed me and she's smart but she's just that way you know she'd believe me and Elena is her name got to put a name on it so um but the bummer thing real quick on on on the halfway house part was you weren't halfway house right and stuff

did you have family when you came out to stay with or whatever sister or something i mean i i'm sure i could have stayed with my sister i wouldn't dare ask to stay with my sister we don't have that kind of relationship like i i'm not going to ask her for anything uh i i don't know i i guess at the at that time we didn't have a great relationship i don't think um but uh i had a bro like yeah i had a brother and a sister but i i wouldn't have asked them like i like i had been enough of a burden. Where'd you go when you left and you left on the weekends? I know we went on the weekends. Oh, you didn't? You understand? I spent every single day. At the halfway house. Seven months and change at the halfway house just working. Spending no money. You know how I don't know if the house by

house you guys had. So you know at the halfway house they so they give you breakfast. You can pay extra if you want like eggs and things like that or you can just get the basic breakfast they give you Like, you get like a cereal, oatmeal. That's it. I get cereal and oatmeal. Lunch, same thing. You could, if you want a hamburger, you can pay extra for a hamburger. You can pay extra.

Or this is what they give you. And listen, honestly, not bad. I'll take that. Like, I didn't pay the extra $3.75 for this or the extra $8 for this because I didn't have any money. And even when I did get, I actually got lucky and I got a check in for something I'd optioned. So I did get money, but that money I bought a vehicle and paid a year's worth of insurance and the money was gone. So now the money's gone.

So I didn't have extra. And even when I was, I was building up money, of course. You know, I'm putting money away. But to me, it's like, okay, well, if I want to spend an extra $8 bucks a day, well, eight bucks a day times the amount of time that, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. You started adding it up. Okay, well, that's an extra $400 and some odd dollars.

And the truth is I'm okay with cereal. I wouldn't have had $3.75 to give them. anyway for me right but i mean even when you started working like the money goes in my but i only made minimum wage and i worked 30 hours a week and they took 25 percent they took 25 percent for me i worked luckily i worked every hour you were available to leave the halfway house i worked but when you did the math it was minimum wage yeah so it was still it was still a chunk but it was cool to get away i do whatever you could do i i well you can pay me nothing yeah and just let me stay out of the halfway house. Absolutely. So loud, so many people always yelling and screaming and having to

clean or this and then. You can't sleep. You can't do anything. It just, it just sucked. How come you didn't let you leave if you wanted you for Saturday and come back Saturday night? Because they did with us. You can, but keep in mind, it has to be someplace that has like a phone. They have to go and they check it out and all these things. And, you know, like, I don't really have anywhere I want to go or go. Saturday, Sunday, of course, whatever I needed to get done on Sunday, I'll do that. And, you know, there was no reason to do that. And that seemed, it didn't, it didn't, there were lots of people that did it. And then, of course, everybody also wants to get, they also want to get on ankle monitor and go home, right?

Like, my wife went home immediately. See, I didn't get an ankle monitor even when I went home. Yeah. When I had my place. Every halfway house is different. Yeah. They didn't have that. They didn't have pay extra.

You didn't pay extra for anything. See, like in Miami and Orlando, like everybody will talk about like the halfway house and supposedly in like, oh God, Ocala, like everybody's like, bro, it's sweet. Like you don't understand like the first week they'll give you a weekend pass. They give you this, they give you that. It was extremely hard and I would have much rather stayed in prison and done the seven extra months in prison than having gone there. But I knew I needed to go to the halfway house because I needed to make money.

I needed to save money. Yeah, I like the halfway house. Way better. Oh, no. To me, because I got to get out. I saw my, I had kids. I had to see my kids. But it's different, too.

I have nobody to get out, too. Like, my mom, my mom came to see me every two weeks anyway. And honestly, I didn't get to, the only way I was able to see my mom was to basically bullshit them. You know, my job would run interference for me. They'd say, oh, yeah, he's here. He's here. But they would send me. They'd say, I'd call in and I'd say, hey, I got to go pick up this across town.

And then they go, okay, we'll call us when, as soon as you get back. And then I drive and go see my mom for two hours and come back. Like just, you know, what the bullshit you have to do to get around the pricks. Let me tell you something. Me and my ex-wife, Lucy, on a scale of one to ten on a marriage towards the end, those are one and a half. Me and my ex-wife, Lucy, now as divorced parents to 10. Yeah.

She's good people. I really I kind of she's good we get along fantastic we talk once in a while and we're friends

and it's evolved it's time but she's good people she helped me a lot and I'm fortunate enough now to help her sometimes because I make good money but

when I was the manager remember she's the district manager yeah so she sent me on errands, but there were no errands. Right. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. And they came one time to my apartment building, because I had like 25 apartments, right?

And they were going to violate me, and I got Angel, right? They were going to violate me for a day and send me back to the halfway house for weekend or whatever because I wasn't there when they came. And I wasn't. And I said, no, no, man, I was there. I was in the back fixing an apartment. You didn't go back there, even though I wasn't. Right.

and they didn't let me tell you something about halfway house the the counselor's there not cool with me not cool but i'll tell you something the director i forgot what her name is it may hit me as we're talking awesome and she's a hard woman she didn't with felons she's making big decisions on 20 30 year people four year people camp people high level prisoners all this when they get there right she knew i was focused she knew it because she had told me she says you know know not a lot of men would do what you're doing and I'm like I don't understand really what you're talking about is what I think everyone does my son she didn't help me per se to do anything wrong but she gave me a little leeway not to do wrong things but hey you want to go see your son

he gets three hours he gets to go see his son it wasn't a dispute or fill out the form wait till he gets signed off by Brad then he's got to be I go see her and she'd say oh no no he's gonna go see his son on Tuesday because I only get an hour it's not like I get to change shit right right so in the beginning and I thank her for that um because she recognized it um so anyway me and my ex-wife we're cool and she helped me there and finagle some things she got me the job there and I had a cool apartment thing um uh gig because of her because she put me there it was easy for me to keep my son right she didn't get me she gave me probably a few apartment buildings to clean extra She'd call me first because I needed the money.

But she didn't do anything like finagle, like money-wise or whatever. So, yeah, so I'm doing that. And me and my wife are together three, four months, five months. Her friends don't like me. Her mom don't like me. Nobody likes me. But my wife adores me, okay? Like, my wife is head over heels in love with me.

Like, my wife loves me. Like, I've never been loved in my life. really experience a love like she gives like my wife's she'll be nervous she's nervous right now for me right now because i'm here she's nervous when i play so because that's she loves me she's like she's like worries like oh i hope he's okay you know i hope he's not too nervous you know and when i was a pitcher in softball because i play third base but when i pitch she's nervous when i'm pitching about throwing a strike or whatever you know she's got that connection with me she's she loves me and i never really experienced what that kind of love is so um her parents they're not giving me bad vibe energy

they're not together by the way they're not giving me bad vibe energy but they're not giving me good positive energy either right you know so when i ask her to marry are you telling me they're not thrilled that their daughter is is it um dating a guy that just got out of prison for drugs A drug conspiracy? No. That seems crazy. It wasn't on their list. Shocking to me.

Wasn't on their list. Like you didn't check all the boxes? I'm not the guy who plays golf in a collar, bro, on Sundays, bro. I never have been. I'm not that guy. They didn't say, wow. I'm not the guy who wears exactly what we were hoping for. The ACDC shirt and tucks it into his jeans and thinks that's a cool look.

I'm not that guy, bro. I'm not that guy. So, and she's got like three or four best friends, like best friends from high school that she's connected with right like my you know we're 40 yeah we're the same age she's six months old younger than me and uh when i ask her to marry me she immediately says yes but that night i don't even know i'm going to ask her to marry me i just went over to her house and we started talking and then i just said hey you want to marry me i didn't get on my knee or nothing but talking and she says yes and we were married we met in january

we were married in September I've been married ever since she's the only woman that I've ever been with since I've been out of prison all right well we've been married since then married kind of right away we agreed that just family was going to come

because my wife's successful but at that time we didn't have a lot of money you know she's cool she made good money but we didn't have a lot of money you know we're getting by you didn't have 40 grand for a fucking wedding we had a nice house in the hills we're getting by the bills are being paid

but there wasn't money sitting in the account. And at that time, I'm a loser, right? I got no job. I mean, I'm, when I ask her to marry me, I have a job as an apartment manager. The day after we get married, I have no job. Because I was an apartment manager anymore. I'm with her.

Right, right. You have to stay there. You have to live there. I'm living with my wife. You know, gave him two week notice. And now I'm a loser, right? Has she got, and she's got, what, two kids, you said? She's got two kids.

They live with her? not no more at the time one was on his way out which he left and the other one was like a junior in high school he's a good dude too rob's a real good dude so is um i trust the name he's gone he's fred they're both good dudes rob's real good real good with angel now real good like brothers tight um and uh so on our wedding day um i tell her i don't want her friends to come i know happy Happy wife, happy life. But I don't want the bad energy, man. I'm feeling like it's a happy day for us, right?

We've got family. Not a lot of family. My kids are there. But I don't want her friends are giving me this negative energy and I know they don't like me, right? Because I'm poor, right? I'm a loser.

And I say that on my Facebook. When I buy something, because I got money, when I buy my Mayback, and I post on Facebook, the loser does it again because I know it's a stick to them because I can tell you now I couldn't live on the wages they make

I couldn't live on it I couldn't do what they do I don't make enough money I make more money than probably all three of them put together now but I couldn't live on what they live and that's not a stab like at them but it is kind of a stab at them

because I know you thought I was a loser I don't know if this way is the best way I know you thought I was a loser but now I make more money than all three of you put together so I couldn't live on your wage you guys are nice people you know in your own way but you guys have done shenanigans with each other already

that I know about that are pretty dirty that might some people might say is a loser move now I think now I know why your wife's nervous baby and she was nervous about what I was going to say

with the girls and blah blah blah but so I'm cool with them now but I'm highly successful now right you know I own a big limousine company, party bus company. I have employees. I take care of my son. I take care of three of my sons. I buy all my grandkids, their clothes, their school clothes, their soccer outfits, their karate outfits, they're boxing out, whatever they need. Whatever my grandkids need, Jade and Juju, Lexi. Lexi,

not quite as much. We're not as close as Jaden and Juju are, but I take care of her too. But whatever my two grandsons need, they got. As long as they haven't, whatever so far, far in their life, whatever they've asked me for, they get. Because everything they've asked me for is reasonable. Right. Soccer clothes, soccer cleats. There's no, none of that. So we get married.

And in the beginning, it's a little bit rough, not too rough, but we're kind of figuring out each other's energy. And her mom comes around, and mind you, her husband, some people might call a loser. but he passed away a few days a few weeks ago maybe a month ago because he was an alcoholic um he drank himself to death so i guess john doesn't look too bad right now but like i told you i'm a prick at times because i say what it is um i think some people they say well i just say what's on my mind but there's times to say things and there's times not to say things you know

you can say what's on your mind but i'm here i still don't drink i don't smoke i work out i'm a decent in person. I have a big business. I've raised my son since he was four and a half years old. And we're tight. We're tight. But good. The disease he has is debilitating. And, you know, he could walk. But at 11, he couldn't walk. And he's in a wheelchair. And he's been in a wheelchair since then. But for what he is and what he's in and how it is, it's good. He's good. He's good. he just graduated high school. Just graduated high school. Big moment, big moment.

Because some kids that have his disease, they don't get to graduate high school. Right. You know? And he's healthy. So it's like levels, I guess, because some are very, very healthy, and some pass away at seven,

nine, 12, 14, in and out. I mean, I'm on a Facebook group, AT kids, AT parents. And every time,

every time one of the kids from a taxi foundation pass away you feel like it's yours you know it's like you feel like it's your kid in a way or you feel like your kid's next you know or you feel like your kid's next you know or it's coming right i don't know the feeling it's a lot of emotions but the first emotion is it's like your family you know so we just live our life we do well um we have a couple rental properties me and my wife are good um no big issues the prison stuff's behind me um the prison mentality's behind me there's probably like granules in there but overall it's it's a it's a good life um and I'm fortunate in some ways.

I don't know when you're going to cut this in, but I don't know if I'd ever went to prison if I'd have had a dad in my life. I think dads are important, very important, very vital to be in children's lives. Because sometimes you need a little kick in the ass from your dad, you know? And a little pat on the back from your mom, it's cool, but you also need a little kick in your ass.

Right. And I didn't have the kick in my ass. And I felt like I was handicapped in some ways at 20, 21, 24, when I was a supervisor because I didn't have the skills from men. I had skills from women, my mom and my aunt, some from my dad. But at 14, I didn't see him much. I mean, I saw him five days, eight days a month, a year. Up until then, I saw him two and a half months a year.

So, yeah, in the summer. So I didn't have that. and I think it's important and I wonder how my life would have been I don't think I'd have went to prison because I don't think I'd have went down that road I just didn't have a father figure in my life

to become something or whatever maybe I'm wrong but it's a very broken peace from my life and now I take care of my dad so my dad has Alzheimer's he was living in Georgia

where I'm going to going after this tomorrow tonight my brother and sister lived there and they sent him there about four years ago and he was unable to take care of himself he's not completely lost right now right but he can't take care of him there's no way so he's been with me for two years staying with me i take care of him now he's a little more than a little lost but i take care of him too so i take care of my dad to take care of my son my wife me my wife we we team up but i take care of my dad most i take care of my son most you know so yeah okay that's kind of the

story and it's good no it's good I saw you on concrete I think is the first time I actually saw you and uh I didn't I don't think at the time I knew you had a podcast but then I reached out to you I did six six eight months ago see because you're crafty too right

because you saw this guy's got a podcast he's probably doing well blah blah blah I could do that I got personality I got wit charm whatever game recognition is gay you know what I mean it actually took a while before I figured it out but you but you knew yeah yeah just like when I was in prison it took a while but once I knew I figured it out yeah and you'll probably be very successful because you'll figure it out more and more why because you're crafty well it's working out so far

we'll see if it just keeps going we just got to I got to keep grinding yeah yeah I think I think it's um it's a good show you have um I'm glad that I came I'm glad we're able to get the story out um if you're in prison and you got kids Just grind Get out, grind Do what you got to do There is a snippet That you may want to cut in somewhere

When I went to family court A few of the times That I went for Angel While I was out in the room Broke my heart When I was out in the waiting room To go to court One of the attorneys for another kid comes

Sets with the kid And I'm hearing the conversation And she tells her you can't go home today your dad tested dirty so we still got to keep you and she just starts crying and it broke my heart

you know where some kids they get stuck right you know and I firmly believe that my opinion through my experience is the family courts want the children to go back with their parents they don't not want them

they want I feel that but the parents have to do the work to get them back and they have to show that they can do the work. So I don't know if anyone out there is thinking, you know, I won't get them back. If you're in prison, you're thinking, I don't think they will. They want the fathers in their life, especially now more so, I know it's always been that way, but now with more podcasts saying, hey, you need dads in the life, single parent, single parent families, you know, it's more forefront now about fathers being in their life.

So just do what's right, live your life right, get rid of the people, and you'll be good. It'll turn out. It may not turn out when you want, how you want, exactly how you want, but eventually it's got to turn out right because you're not going to do anything wrong. And game will recognize game. When you show good work ethic, all of a sudden things are going to start lining up. You know, someone's going to hire you, someone's going to, maybe your sister or brother has a job that they're doing and they're not going to, when you get out, they're not going to tell them to hire you. but after you've shown a year that you've worked somewhere and it's hey they're hiring at my company yeah well people get people people people get out of prison they get frustrated they get you know

people like they get they think they have entitlement issues they think that they're owed something and no no no you just got out of prison bro you're starting at the bottom you know and you got to be willing to to suck it up and put your pride aside and take some shit and work your ass off and if you do that then good things will happen So, yeah, I got cars. I got, before I go to prison, I got cars, I got money, I got girls, I got everything a man would want. But that's not whatever. In what people believe, some people, my dad, oh, man, you're living the dream back then.

But he didn't know what I was doing, but he saw I was successful. But I wasn't. Yeah. The dream is to have a wife, to come home to a loving wife. That's the dream. The dream is to have a good marriage and good family. good grandkids and children that want to come around you. That's the dream.

The dream isn't 20 girls, threesomes, nice cars, casino nights, blowing money. That's not the dream. Right. So I think that might be the story. That's it. I think so. It continues. And my goal is to make sure that my heritage goes on and that my grandkids never have to go

without and that they'll always have the opportunity to be successful whether they become successful or not is on them but they'll have all the resources and the money that they need to become they will not be handicapped because of money situations now about my daughter a house my my grandchildren will never have to move from their house i bought that house they pay the mortgage of 2,500 a month but i put i furnished it painted it two-story swimming pool 1200 square foot lot, grass, trees, they'll never have to move because I grind it for them. They won't have to be handicapped like any of us, my children and me, they got what they need. I appreciate you coming by. Thank you. Thanks for coming out here. I really appreciate it.

You know, anytime, I'm glad you took me, this has been, what, 16 years-ish, 17 years since I've been out. and I've been wanting to get this story out, but with my son being young and now he knows everything about everything. And he didn't even know I was in prison until three weeks ago. Really? He didn't know.

He knew I was gone, but he didn't know I was in prison, but time, right? And hopefully a book come out. I really would like a book to come out of it because there is other stuff in there, because, you know, as I ponder. Yeah.

But I'd really like a book to come out of this. And if there's another podcast, I probably won't travel to like I did here. But I'd like to get the story out to other folks. All right. Well, I appreciate it. I appreciate you come by. Good deal, man. Thank you.

See you. Hey, I appreciate you guys watching. Do me a favor if you like the video, hit the subscribe button, hit the bell, and leave a comment in the comment section. And thank you for, for, thanks for checking us out on Father's Day.