Matthew Cox | Inside True Crime Podcast - Do CRIMINALS Regret Their CRIMES!? (Hilarious, Honest & Emotional)

Episode Date: November 6, 2024

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Give me the money. He hit me so and I go, oh! That's when I got my lip button off. But now I have two women pregnant, four and a half months apart. This is horrible. Don't say it's hell. Whatever was broken before is snap. To me, I look back on my life and I see all the failures and mistakes and just the shitty things I've done in life. And I didn't realize how bad my conscience was. I was like six years old and I found a silver dollar. and I knew that if I kept that silver dollar, I could get four video games.

I hid my shoes in my mom's car because she would have to go to work and I wouldn't have to go to school the next day and I could go down to this is Italian restaurant in Manassas and the guys loved me. They'd give me a soda. Yeah, I was a cute little kid. They gave me a soda and I was going to play video games

and it was going to be cool. So I hid my shoes and my mom was forced to go to work. My brothers went to school. So I was by myself and I went down there to play the video games and as I was playing the video games an older guy sat down I'm six years old to be like maybe three minutes

it was asteroids I was terrible at it it was fun and it was ever he was like what's wrong I was like well I don't have any record he's like hey you know the bums across street fall asleep with their wallets you want to go you want to go there and get a couple more dollars and I was like yeah sure like

yeah it made perfect sense that there'd be bombs asleep with money right at six and and and and when we walked across the street, there was no bums, and he went from a really nice, caring guy to a really predatorial, mean, and he was, he was just, he was hard on me. And that's where the fear began for the first time, because even though the event that happened was one thing, and that

was terrifying, and when I finally thought it was all over, and I thought that I was going to, I just wanted to get home. That's all I could think about. It's like, just let me, and I wasn't thinking I'm going to go tell. I was just thinking, I want to live. live i want to get the fuck out of here and um he made me stop and he took it's like it's hard to describe they were white and it looks like they're like an oil refinery but in the bottom of these big oil refinery things have been asked so on the where the park where we went was just full of sludge and he was holding me like over and he's like if you're talking about i'll fucking kill you i'll leave you in here right and and that's what i was just i just not it's never

going to end like i didn't i didn't think that the moment would end and i just kept crying And that pissed him off and he'd hit me for crying. And I remember because we had to go to like a gate that had just a little opening. And when I could finally get through that gate and he wasn't pulling me back anymore and he let me go, it just everything changed in my mind at that point. And I think the biggest regret I have is because I didn't tell. Like I lied and it's like when it came out a little bit, I wouldn't say who it was. And it would only say anything because it happened again. but with with and I'm not going to say who but but probably the one person I love most on this earth the most beloved person in our family and um you know I didn't have the courage to say anything I'm sorry I get worked up that's all right I didn't have the courage to say anything so that that when my when the person I loved most also got hurt by him I just I just never recovered mentally from that and and I think I on some level broke then because I always felt dirty after that I all

always felt gross. I always was in my temper changed. I went from a very loving charismatic kid. There's pictures of me like doing the John Travolta, we called it. Right. You know, naked running around. I was just a happy kid even though we were poor to, to a, to a dark person. And when I was 12 years old, we got to spend two whole weeks with dad. And when we came back, I had a big fight with my mom because I left some clothes or something there. And I was like, I'll go live with dad. And I went to live with dad. And living with dad was completely different than visiting with dad, you know, visiting with dad, man, we got candy bars for dinner and we got to go out and we got to go, you know, and I could, dad would put me in

like his car and he let, or a truck, actually, and he let me ride. He'd get me up at like 4 a.m. And we'd go to that, that bar that, it's not really a bar. It's like a, it was like a mobile home inside of a, of a mountain. And you walk in and it's just, just men and cigarettes. And I could have all the little sodas I wanted. And dad would sit there and drink. We called that going hunting. Right. I'm taking Jake hunting with me. But in reality, living with him was vastly different.

Fastly different. It was scary. My stepmom thought I was a beating pole for her. Which it didn't really matter. I didn't care if she hit me. Because it didn't. Like once, you know, remember when they had the paddles? I had a big ego because when she broke the paddle on me, I thought I was something.

He hasn't thought about it. No, exactly. My brother and I used to work out all the time. I remember my mom one time got mad at my brother, and she punched him in the shoulder. But she hit him in the arm. And she goes, and she heard her hand. He goes, you see that? He goes, his mom just broke her fingers on my bicep.

You know, like we were laughing about it. So you moved. You were with that, your father. Oh, yeah, I was with dad. And it just, it wasn't working out. So when my brother came to visit a couple weeks later, I was like, tell mom I'm right. Because when I left, she's like, whenever you're ready to come home, just tell Trabby. You know, I couldn't tell Dad, that would be bad.

So I would have to tell Travis when I was ready to come home. And after a couple weeks with Dad, it was just, you know, it's very depressing there. Everything was different. Going to school there was different. Dad was never home when he was home. He was mean or drinking. I just didn't want to live there anymore. And I'm a mama's boy.

I wanted to be back home. That's all I've ever known. So I told my little brother to tell my mom. And I remember we, you know, because my dad takes back to Fairfax, either drop Travis off or whatever. and then we dropped back and we got back to the trailer the thumb rang and I swear to God

he looked at me and he said okay next Saturday and hung up he said you got your wish and he didn't speak to me all that week when he dropped me off

that next Saturday he's just like never asked me for anything again and that was it we never spoke again how old were you 12 I had a mental breakdown

Jesus like my took because that happened in the beginning of the year so I was getting right oh it was 11 getting right turn 12 because when I turned 12 and he didn't want to

to me or birthday card or anything, my mom called me. He's like, your son's having a mental breakdown. I take it to a psychiatrist. You need to talk to him. No? And I hung up on her. So I never talked to him again. That was it.

That was the last time we ever spoke. And it really wasn't even the speaking. Flash forward to 15, I'm the pool boy. I'm the grill at Army Navy Country Club. I meet Molly Barnes. She just did her freshman year at Ole Miss. She's the head lifeguard. driving at a 1989 yellow LX convertible and I convinced her that hey let's hang out one night

and I'm 15 I'm taller than her but I'm 15 I'm a kid and she's like sure and she was drinking sunkist ingrain because that's what she drink at school and I'm telling you she's a half a bottle went on that sunkissing grain and she drops the sunkiss in her yellow convertible and she rips off her shirt to dry it I'm like holy shit those are boobs right I'm pumped I'm like oh god I I'm 15, I'll go right in. Yeah. And we're kissing and we're making out. I'm 15.

I am not experienced. I mean, not like this. And so she's like, I got to pee. And she goes in peas. And when she turns around, I'm right there. I'm like, hey, she's like, oh, we're having sex. I was like, yes. Hell yeah, we are.

We're having sex. And it lasted like, too, like, and she had to help me. Like, I'm just poking all around. She's like, hold on a second. There you go. And I was like, oh, shit. Oh, it's the greatest feeling in the world. And it's funny because my older brother was visiting.

So soon as it's over, I'm not, like, trying to cuddle. I'm like, thanks. And I shoot into the house to tell my brother. Exactly. Tell some people. I can tell my older brother, my older brother, who's 18 and just this huge guy. And I wanted to tell him. He didn't believe me.

I was like, Brian, I just had sex. I needed. Shut up. And the funny, like, so she rolls out. I literally just live, like, thank you. And go to tell my brother. And I guess she drives home. So the next one, I'm pumped.

I'm in love. I just had sex with an 18-year-old girl. I just lost my virginity. Right. It's one. So I show up to Harvey David Cuccoe the next day and I'm sitting there in the chair and she's swimming laps and she gets up with her.

She's like, what do you want? I was like, anyway, I was like, last night. She's like, nothing happened last night. I mean nothing to happen last night. We made love. She didn't, we ended up getting together, but it took like two weeks for her to get over my age. And that was my first love, Molly Barnes.

Man, we were having sex 15 times a day. She was on the pill. Man, my little weiner hurt all the time. And then I'm madly in love with her. I'm keeping my job. I'm not getting in trouble. I'm not fighting. I'm not doing anything.

I'm not breaking the law. I'm just head over heels because I'm a 15-year-old with a college girlfriend that's relatively hot. Hey, we're having sex. We talk a lot about crime on this show, but let's face it, some of the biggest crimes are committed by the government. You've heard the story before. Big Pharma swoops in to take control. Now, the FDA is trying to reclassify NMN a natural compound in foods like broccoli and avocados as a pharmaceutical drug. Why? Because NMN is so effective they want to turn it

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of your hands. I feel like I'm on top of the world and I get the call. My friend Jason Gerald was going to spend the night with us. And I don't know because you didn't have cell phones back then. Somehow, it's my God, tell us we were at 7-11 hanging out and they're like, your mom with you home right now. They're like, holy shit. So we get back to the house and Mary's there, Uncle Ray's there.

And I know somebody died. I'm like, is it grandma? And they're like, boys, you need to sit down. I go, who is it, grandma? And they're like, no. And I said, don't say it's him. Oh, man, I'll get worth it thinking about. I was like, don't say it.

Don't say it. And they're like, your dad said. And I was like, ugh. And I just lost my shit. Because my brother started crying. I was like, he didn't like you. What do you care? You know?

and I'm losing it and I just something inside of me just kind of whatever was broken before snapped and that was the biggest shift because after my dad died I'm sorry

I'm sorry how do you know oh I'm sorry yeah so my dad who has always been in cars it turned out he wasn't even driving they were in this 1986 Mustang and the guy was going an eighth of a mile so I searched this out

most fatalities are Within a quarter mile of the house, it's exactly an eighth of a mile to the house he's living in. And they're going really fast when he's still in Winchester, and they were driving really fast, and a dog came out in the road. And the guy, this idiot, swerved and missed the dog. And when he swerved, it hit an embankment. And when it hit the embankment, it shot my dad out of the car. That didn't, but the car flipped and rolled over him and broke his neck. Before I understand, he held him for another two days.

They didn't tell us. They waited until he was to even tell this, because we hadn't spoken since I was 12. I mean, this is three years later. I didn't know how to deal with that. Right. Like, I didn't, you know, I was mad. I mean, I remember having conversations with my little brother because we lived in the basement and there was a little half wall.

And I'm like, do you think of him? He's like, yeah, I think of him. And we had this little MX Yamaha, he was like, should we ride out to him like in our heads at like 12 and 13 and 14? There was a way that we could make it from Fairfax on this little 80 out to Winchester and finding. But I guess we didn't have the courage or we just didn't do it. And then at that point, because Molly Barnes and Shane Bates were my friends, my girlfriend and Shane Bates was my friend, I started drinking and I started being real angry. And I started being real aggressive. And they're like, we don't like you when you drink. You're different. You're a completely different person. You're so angry now. And Molly wanted to love me through it. My mom wanted to love me through it. But there just wasn't any coming back. For me, at that point, I don't know why. But at that moment, I just kind of cashed out.

I never exceeded any further in school. I kept a broken hand. All I did was finally got my first malicious wounding right after that. Did you stay in school, though? No, I didn't make it past the ninth grade. I was just kicked out. No, I was just thrown out, and I just decided not to go back. Like, there's no more hope.

All my friends were, like, juniors now, and I'm supposed to be a freshman. Right. Yeah. Did you get a full-time job? No. Nope. What are you doing? Just hanging out of the house?

I lived at home. I would get mad at my mom, go to Ole Miss, to visit. It all because Molly did one more year at Ole Miss and then she went to O'DU to be closer I was and and she was all in huh? Oh yeah she loved me a big time. Oh she broke oh my god she goes back to school and she calls me she's like I gotta talk to you about something like oh shit what happened and she's like wow I just spent a night in a hotel with a guy oh crush it oh dude I was so hard on her after that

yeah I was bad I was not a good guy after that But I should do anything I asked. You know, she can't think you keep to yourself. Yeah. She could, she could have kept that for me. And we'd never, we'd probably be married. Right. Listen, don't, don't, you know, honesty is overrated sometimes.

I mean, I didn't need that at that point. So, I'm sorry, you asked me something and I got lost. Well, I was wondering that if you, you know, like, did you, at one point did you get a job? Or is this just things just progressively get worse? I heard my mom's super guilt, you know, it had come out about some stuff when I was young because it took a long time for that to come out. Right. The doctors, you know, my mom thought the answer was psychiatrist and medication, and I would

buck on it and they'd send me to a mental hospital because I'd flip out. And I wouldn't even flip out that bad. I just had really dark thoughts all the time. Not about hurting other people. I didn't, you know, hurting other people was a result not being able to express myself. I had no, I didn't know how to argue. Like if you thought, you know, if it was anything that I felt was even going to be combative, I was swinging first. And I caught this malicious wounding baby, my, I had a little brother named Travis, and baby boss, his mom had died.

And baby, we called him baby boss because Brian Bosworth haircut, and he was super little, like he's a little guy. And we kind of adopted him. His mom died. He was always with us. My brother was either there. He was with us. And he was like almost like a mascot that everybody just loved. And these long-haired guys from Oakton High School were.

picking on him and I saw it and I didn't I didn't think I just went over and started started pushing on him and when the guy wanted to fight back I'd wrap both my hands around his hair and I just kept neem him in his face until I pulled out both locks of hair and um he he pressed charges the cops came I bounced out and they gave me a malicious wounding we put it down to a simple assault and they put me on probation so I was always violating probation with dirty urine for or drinking or absconding or running down to Norfolk where ODU is. So I just stayed in trouble at that point. My mom kind of got scared because I finally, they were like, we're going to give you a

suspended sentence to Beaumont, which is a suspicence to Beaumont is juvenile prison. They're like, we're going to taking you off probation. We're going to give you a suspended sentence to Beaumont because you're not complying with probation. And if you catch another charge, we're going to send you to Beaumont. That's what a suspended sentence to Beaumont was. So my mom sent me to Florida. So I was in Ocala Forest, the Cruz Lane Lake Delancey, where my grandfather and them.

Okay. See, the grandfather that raised is not my blood grandfather, but Grandpa Cruz, he's half Creek Indian. His father was full Creek Indian. And so he was a lawyer. So he sued the state of Florida, and they gave him some land on Cruzland, Lake to Lansing in the middle of the Ocala Forest, and it's in Palacca. And that's where my mom, my grandma and my grandpa were living. So my mom sent me there.

And I mean, literally, it is in the woods, bro. It is three miles on unpaved roads, on sand that you have to keep your wheels, perfect in the sand grooves or you get stuck. So they thought, I'll hide him there to a turn's 18. Right. I didn't function there well either. My grandmother was older. She had enough of me. My mom came to visit for the Fourth of July.

And she's like, okay, taking you back with me now. And I was pumped. My little brother brought me some acid. We tripped on the beach because we stayed across the beach. And when I went home, it wasn't a month later. I got to a fight with the YTs, and that was the arrest. They called them. They were a bunch of jocks from Lake Braddock and Robinson that called themselves the young terrorist.

And what they would do, they would go into a party. And black and white kids, you know, just in upper class, as a matter of fact, or middle class, let's say. And they throw up the sign. And then whoever was to their left, woman, girl, boy, didn't matter. They turn and hit him. and beat up the whole party. That was their thing. They were just clowns.

And it was funny because we were warring with them pretty hard. If they caught me alone, they would get me. George Raisin' them jumped me. They jumped Nelson. We would jump them if we saw them. We were having a party at a guy named Quigley. Who was at Quiggy's house? And we were just waiting for them.

We knew they couldn't resist this party. It was big, but my friends were older. I was 17 at this point and I was only 5'10 but all my friends were older bruisers, fighters we were much rougher than they were and there was like all these bats lined up at the door

but as the party progressed I was with Matt Saunders and we were kicking it with two girls and the fight it started and I didn't even know we were in there kicking and I'm thinking man I'm getting late tonight and I had smoked some weight and I don't want to fight at all when I'm on

I spoke some of it. I spoke some and we're drinking, and Matt Saunders and I were talking. I can't remember her name now. And some guy ran and said, Jason, baby Brewers outside. Baby Brewers outside, which meant my little brother was outside. And I even remember saying, and I ran outside to go see what was up. It kind of like a journaling dump. And I saw George Ray is about to hit my little brother in back of the head of the bricks.

They were throwing bricks. It was a big thing. It was in the Wall Street Journal. Not the Wall Street Journal. It was in the Washington Post. So if anybody's look at this video, just look up Jason Brewer. 17-year-old youth, Washington Post in 1991, it will pull up. But I ran up behind him and I had brass knuckles and I hit this kid in back of the head

and it hurt my hand. I don't know if anybody's ever hit anybody with brass knuckles. I don't recommend it. It hurts. But I hit him back of the head and he fell down and I don't know for whatever reason. I just went to a rage. My little brother was the one there. He had a cane.

I took the cane from my little brother and I'm just beating this kid in the head named George Ray is to his iPops. and I'm screaming and I'm such a I'm such a adult I'm screaming this is Jason Brewer I want you to know

who's doing this to you bang bang I kept hitting him and I thought my head because these guys are always starting all this trouble the police know

who they are they're not going to care that we're kicking their ass but then I ran off we were hiding in the woods it was Matt Dinger and I we were hiding in the woods and I was like hey

this is YT they're going to do to us for them and I didn't think about how bad I'd hurt this kid so we came down They arrested me. They certified me as an adult. My 18th birthday, they knew me over to Fairfax County Jail from the ABC because I went to

ADC or JDC Juvenile Detention Center in Fairfax until my 18th birthday because they certified me as an adult and sent me over to the big jail. And that was freaking scary. How bad did you hurt the guy? What happened to him? I knocked his eye out of his head, so he gave malicious wounding. He lost him. But it went back in.

I mean, he just lost his vision. I understand. But still. That's bad. Yeah, it was a malicious one. It was pretty bad. And a lot of people got hurt that night. A lot of people got real hurt.

After him, we broke a window and pulled a guy out of a car that was hiding in the car and stomped him. It was bad. It was not a cool scene. But it was kind of like revenge for all the times that they had done it, you know. And I guess the 17, it seemed okay. Now it doesn't seem okay. But back then, it was, it seemed like a thing to do. and it wasn't so

so when all that happens and I'm getting arrested I see my little brother drive off who ends up being his wife later on Chrissy but I didn't think I would be in that much trouble

right I was more worried about the suspended sentence to Beaumont but that was it they certified me as a dog I told my mom I didn't do it

so I was kind of forced into going to trial I had a public pretender terrible lawyer and Matt Dinger and Nelson Estrada also were arrested for. So the three of us were charged with malicious warnings.

They were in college. They got PRC in the 12-month sentence. So they, like, six months, once, what's called? They both had work release, but when I ended up going home, like on the monitor. I took it to trial. I did a three-day trial, and I lost. But Judge Marcus D. Williams, he gave me five years, two and a half, spend it. And back in the early 90s, there was 30 for 30.

So getting two and a half years, man, I did 12 months. I did 12 months in one day, and I'm mandatory doubt, but I also received the outpatient drug and alcohol treatment, which was, I was like, drug and alcohol treatment, and I drink a little, smoke a little weed, do a little shrooms, maybe drop acid here and they're like, I don't need that. But I went in there and they were all older guys. That sounds like you're using drugs. Oh, this again. Here. I was like, how upset is he going to be if I reach over and take this out of his time? I get fidgety when I think about this stuff because I don't think about this stuff very often.

Yeah. Oh, listen, I know. I've interviewed guys that we had, we interviewed, well, a few guys, but one guy, like, literally hadn't ever really sat down and told his story. And I mean, 10 minutes into his story, he's, because he'd never talked about it. Right. In tears, crying. Yeah. And he was like, I don't know what. You can tell, too. He's like, I don't know what's happening right now. Right. Yeah, of course. Because you think about it. You know what happened. And you could, you can think about that story. But it's like, it's in a box, in a shelf that's there. It's there, but you never really think about it or talk about it. But the moment you actually have to sit down and explain it to somebody, then those emotions come back. And you're not, you know, most guys are just not capable of expressing those emotions without getting emotional. And, of course, you know, guys don't get emotional. That shows weakness, you know. Of course, I cry probably maybe three, four times a week.

So for no reason. I'll watch a good TikTok. A good TikTok will make me tear up. Oh, my, I can't watch a good business. Oh, my God, the cabin. I think it's called The Cabin. Oh, my God. Yeah, crying all the way through it.

Don't look at me. That's not it with my wife. No, the Shaq. The name of the movie's The Shack. Oh, I'm like, don't watch it. It's so good, but you are going to cry out here four times. It's just brutal. Yeah, my wife will look over and say, are you crying?

No. My eyes are dry. Oh, I like crying now. But it's funny because I've thought about some of this stuff and spoken about some of the things. the things that hit you. I'm like, man, I did it. And you're right. It's up in that self. It's been gone for a long time. And it's funny because I think it's important to talk about it because some people don't know that it's okay to cry. Yeah. It's okay to remember the past and you're not and I'm not my past today. Right. I think if you never talk about it, then you never, it never helps to change

you or to deal with that. And then you just, you know, that may be the reason that you have such emotional issues to begin with because you've never talked about it or thought about it or you know worked your way through it which is all sounds like like um like psychology bullshit to me some Freudian it does it does but it's true it's you know what I'm saying it's like advice that I give people I would say like when if some young kid calls me or talks to me or says you know and I'm and I'm like what do you think I should do and I'm like oh I think you should do this and I'm sitting there thinking this is the same advice that my father's would give you. Why hasn't anybody hold? Like, I'm not telling you anything a remarkable.

Right. But, you know, but the truth is, it's, it's, it sounds silly and it sounds, you know, I'm saying, it sounds like dad advice, but that dad advice from a regular dad, you know, is, you know, is sound advice. It's just that people don't say it and they don't do it and they don't think about it. And, you know, it has to be said. And sometimes it's the messenger that says that a kid may be open to what you have to say. Unfortunately, it's weird. Yeah. But it's, it's It's also a great tool to have because you're reaching people that might not hear it. Yeah, yeah. So it's funny cool, but weird at the same time.

I said, really, some of those people's, those guys' fathers did say it. You probably did say the same thing that I'm telling them. I'm like, you do this, do that, you know, wake up early, work out, you know, show up on time, work hard, you know, do you know what I'm saying? Save your money. Don't care about what these people think. You know, you tell all this thing. Same stuff that your mom said to you that you thought. Hello.

Yeah. It's funny because I find that the nuclear family. by my own experience, looking at how my kids did, because I, they were nine and five months old when I went to prison. We'll get to that later. And my brothers, who raised their children, my brother's strong fathers, like my two cousins, my two nieces and my niece and nephew are Virginia Tech, veterinary school, and sports medicine. My other two, a project manager with two kids, they all live on the same compound with my brother, their dad, and how different their children are

and how they were raised by having strong fathers as opposed to my two kids with two different mothers, of course, something like that. How awful. Yes, you guys are awful. I should show what you and I have. Can I beefing with them right now.

But go ahead, let's go back. But no, so what you were saying? So you did what? Was it a year or 12 months? Yeah, it's 12 months and one day. So one year, one day. But now you've got the suspended sentence hanging over your head. Yeah, I got the two and a half years over my head. I did the two and a half years. And then, of course, all the time that, the good time. So you went, so you went to two and a half years. You never got in jail. No, I was kind of. I'm saying when you got out after the year, you still have a suspended sentence, don't you? Like, if you get in trouble in the next two and a half years, you're in, oh, okay. I thought you said I did the two and a half years. I went. No, no, no. I did the two and a half years original because five years, two and a half spent it on two and a half years, you do a year. Okay. So I did one year, one day.

I came home. They sent me to outpatient drug treatment, and the guys were in there. They're all talking about, I never even heard it. Right. And I was like, I want to try that. They're like, no, you don't. Worst mistake of your life, I'm like, definitely doing it now. Don't tell me now.

And there's got a guy named Brian Murphy who's a waiter at Benigans at Fair Oak Small, which all makes sense to me, but you're not from up there. It's just allens on me like. Well, I know if Benegins is. We used to have them down here. Oh, okay. I know if it's just a northern thing. Yeah.

It's like Chili's. Yeah. like chill. Exactly what it is. Yeah. Because we end up drinking at Chili's that day. Anyhow. And we go to chilies and we're in there drinking. And one of the guys that I knew from juvenile detention, his name was Billy Ull. Billy, because I knew both of them. I think it was Eric Ull or Billy. It doesn't matter. And I see him at Furrow Smallwood. We're drinking that. And he's like, damn, what are you doing here? I'm like, nothing. I'm out. Yeah, you're out too. He's like, hey, do you want some acid? I was like, absolutely. Thank you. And he gave me acid and walked off. Like, I haven't seen this kid since juvenile. It's been almost a year and a half. And now. He's giving me this asset. So Brian Murphy and I were drinking at Chili's because he worked at Benegans and traded this shift. And so we're drinking at Chili's and we dropped the acid. And out of nowhere, he goes, do you really want to go smoke some?

And I was like, hell yeah. And it was just the, it was almost like a dream state because we're going down 66. The cars are going by and I'm just tripping hard. I'm like, oh, wow, this is crazy. And I had no idea what it is. I know it's, but I didn't, I did not understand. Right. When we hit to D.C., we parked the car, and we're walking, and he passed these kids.

They couldn't be more than 10 or 11 years old. Like, hey, we're looking. They're like, nah, you're a cop. And so, you know, something like that. No. And so we walk up on the street, the same kids come up on bicycles. How much do you want? We got like 100 bucks, whatever.

They handed to him. And out of nowhere, there's this what I consider now. It's like, you want to go to the apartment and smoke? And he's like, yeah. And I'm like, what? Wait a minute. I don't know. They provide.

logic if you want to call it that right and we go up there and I've never smoked to before so he's poking holes in this can and he gets the hole on the side and he tells me what to do because he goes first and then he gives it to me and we ash on it and he puts he's like now hit it but not too fast but not too slow and you hold it as long as you possibly can and so I'm holding it and he actually does the shotgunning for me so I'm just holding the can he's doing it with his finger and I'm lighting it and he's like hold it hold it hold it and I'm holding as long as I can and when I blow out it was the on top of the acid on top of the alcohol and um it's hitting me so hard i think also because the acid

really big hit i slid down the wall that i was sitting in i looked to my left it's a bathtub with sludge black sludge and an old broken up wheelchair and the toilet has sludge in it and i'm pretty sure piss and shit in it and i'm like oh this is not good and and i just couldn't shake it I don't know if it's because it's an acid or what. So we, I'm like, we got to, I want it to go. I was like, we got to go. We actually lost the car. Ironically, we had to call Molly and tell her that we're in D.C.

And we had lost the car that we were at. She came and found us and drove us around until we found the car. It's crazy. Then we ended up going back to his sister's house in Fairfax, Virginia, because D.C.'s not Virginia. And we go to Fairfax, and we finish up a little bit. And then we end up going to Benegans, because now it's after our house. hours and we're sitting in there drinking. I can't get it out of my head. Like this thought, I'm a I'm a I just can't get it out of my head. So I call my mom at like 2.30 in the morning.

I call mom. She's like, Jason, what's wrong with you? Are you okay? I was like, mom, I smoked. She was like, this is horrible. And she's like, what? I'm in vitally as I smoke. And she's like, don't move. Mommy's coming, like, overprotective mom. Right. And so she pulls up. I get in the car and she has a blanket and she tucks me into the seat. She takes me home and she tucks me into bed and says, don't go anywhere where mommy will be home in the morning.

And I'm 19. I've been to jail. Right. And she leaves and she comes back at like 10 a.m. With like, because back then there was blockbusters with like four blockbuster tape. She's like, we're going to a psychiatrist. So come on, honey. So we go see the psychiatrist at Woodburn Mental Hospital.

who I haven't seen in years. And they're like, oh, it's just a manic episode. It's nothing. Don't worry about it. Let him chill out. You know, take him home. Let him have a rest. And no big deal.

And you watched, and you watched eight hours of movies? Well, no, I went and I found more. Like, I ended up after that incident, I started, I found people just, they came into my life that smoked that shit. I got a probation violation and oh so I'm dating and Story Ellis even though it's weird that Molly came to get me I was dating someone but

Story Ellis who is gorgeous anyhow I'm dating her and we had a big fight and she had moved to another townhouse and I have a probation violation out for me for dirty yarn for and obsconding and I go to her place

and her roommate knows I have a warrant out for me and calls cheat. All right, bye guys. And we just, we just finished having sex. Like, I'm chilling. I'm happy as a lark. And you hear the police not. I hate to interrupt the podcast, but I need your help. Have you been or do you know anyone that has been arrested in Polk County? If you have, please contact me. We are desperately looking for guests that have been arrested in Polk County by Grady Judd. The last video we did actually got a million views. If you've been arrested, please go in the district. description box, either contact me directly. My email's there. Or you can fill out the form that we've got.

There's a link to the form. My email address is there. You fill out the form or email me. We will contact you. And we're going to try and get you on the program. So what the hell was that? And it was the police. I was like, don't answer that door. She's like, I have to answer. I said, no, you don't. I'm naked. I go hide in the closet in the other room. And I know, I know the knock. We got a report Jason Brewers here. We've got to search the house. And they came up and I'm like in the closet in the corner, hiding my little naked ass. Naked as a J-bird.

I got to rest it twice naked. So actually, I was three times. But they come in. I was like, all right, let me get dressed. Right. And so they let story throw me my clothes. So I put on my boxer shorts. I put on my, I'll tell you the exact outfit, Gap jeans, loose fit.

I put on my gap, my gap sweatshirt. And as I'm putting on one, one Tim, I'm looking at the window. There's a window right here. I'm like, I'm jumping out the window. I'm out the window. Like, that's my thing. I'm like, as I put my foot in. And the window's closed?

Yeah, they're closed. And it's snowing out. Is it a second story? Yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. But I think so what? I've seen fall guy.

So I put the other boots on it and I literally run and jump, but I didn't understand double pain. double pain window so it's like and so like I'm like kind of out the window and I'm trying to push myself out and the police are pulling me in and I got this glass below me and I'm like and now my shirt's up and I'm like oh I'm gonna drop on it and that way they can't take me to jail I'm gonna like literally drop on this glass and then when I dropped it to do anything would break it but what happened was I was trying to push myself out and yeah I see this hand come out and they mace the shit out of me and so it was like it was like out of a scary

movie because I'm like pushing out and like and they pulled me in dump me the one cop tries to choke me to death it was bad because you know I'm a smart ass I've already jumped out the window you mace me you're you're choking me and I said guys like you in prison and I've never been to prison this really pissed him off he put the death choke on me and stories sitting there going you're and so they finally stopped they arrested me and I got um two years for that I got a year for the probation violation and a year for attempted escape. So

that's when I got my lip button off in jail. There's your thumbnail. There's your there's your thumbnail. Because the conversation, you know, I can't. It's great. I'm sure this dicks up to your pile of cattle. I got shit on my face. Oh, yeah, I'll point it like,

except for you. I don't know if your cameras can see it. If you look, I'm here all the way back where it gets lighter. Yeah, yeah. It's where it's bitten off at. So, yeah. Typically, when you do that, what you do is when the person leans in go,

whoa. Oh, see that. You know, my wife does that. She'll go, you don't see this. And I'll go, no, what? And I'm going, no, what? And I'm like, stop it. So where are we, oh, I got to jail again.

So I get two and a half years. You know what's, what's upsetting about this, by the way? What? is you seem shocked that they were to send you to jail. You're like, can you? And for that, they gave me two years. Like, no, those bastards, what were they thinking? They're so, they're not under, they weren't understanding of the guy who's smoking, banging chicks.

And, you know, and has warrants is getting into fights, you know, has been, you had to jail. If you asked my mom, I was an angel. Yeah. Well, I was laughing because you're like the two and a half years. Did you go back? And I'm telling you, like, they don't just give you, they didn't just give it to me. Like nine months a year, six months. So over the next five years, I kept getting time off that two and a half year sentence.

Because you're like, you just never got in trouble. No, no. Not the story. So when they gave me two years for the one year for attempted escape and one year for another probation violation. And I'm up in like three north four. And there's this, it's a jail. So like, when you're in Fairfax County, it's a prison or a jail? No, just jail.

I never went to prison until I was 27. I got arrested at 25. I finally made it to prison at 27. I did the 15 years on that. But the two years, they never sent me down the road. That's what we call it down the road. Yeah. Depending on what part of state is sometimes up the road, down the river, up the river,

depending on where you're at. But I was in a pod 304 and there was Darren Williams. Darren Williams was out of Baltimore. Well, there's two funny stories about it. One guy was Alan Young. Six-five. Southeast D.C. Man, that guy.

He beat me with a chair. That's where my finger still twisted up. I thought my finger. Can I tell both those stories? Because they're both hysterical. So when I was 19 and I was in there for like, whatever, three or four months for something stupid that I've done, a dirty urine or whatever, there's this. Just in this area. This area.

Sorry. Water. But I'm a three or four, and I'm loud. Now, there's, there's a card table and we have chairs around them. Right. And there's three guys playing four guys, including myself, playing cards. All three of these guys are black, and I'm the one white guy. And I don't you should say that they shouldn't think.

What? And I get the TV turned off at night when they're watching wrestling. And I knew him. I knew the CEO is the Heflin. I think it was the name Hufflin. I wanted to, I said, yo, because the control is in the middle. And so you have five, five gel pods. And I was like, yo, I'll be quiet.

I'll even go to my room. You know, don't turn off the TV. And they're like, all right, bro, go to your room, shut up for the night. And when I went back in, the dude Allen Younger that said something, and I cut him, like, what? Like, I had no patience, even though he was six, five. I wanted to fight him anyhow because he always got, Alan Young, 6,5, 275. Is that he said, oh, pissed me off to no end.

And I went to be like, I'm six. one, 165, but I don't care. Then I went up the steps, and there was a little issue then, but the next day, same thing. Three black guys and me playing cards, and I'm like, set that shit, TV off, but it was during the stories, and now he's really pissed off. And I was like, yo, I'll be quiet. You know, I won't say nothing, because doors don't up until dinner. And there's like two in the afternoon.

He was like, nah, that's it. TV off, TV off. And Alan Young goes, my white boy for getting this place. I said, what? man and I don't know you can't tell now because I'm not angry but I get a look of death in my face like oh I'm a murderer now and I'm not but I get this really ugly look and he's like oh that's what I'm talking about and he tied up his shoes and he came over and he came over to me that's when I realized with 65 275 705 70s he looked like he's like you got the problem and I was like and I don't say shit but he's poking me in my forehead and I know I can't give him a fair one there's there's just There's no way we can do that because he'll hurt me. So I didn't say anything. And I kind of like, I don't back down.

I just don't say anything. He was, that's where I thought. And he went back and sat down in his chair. And that's what I knew I had. And I thought I had him for real. And this is what I'm telling you is gospel. It's not an enhanced story. I ran over and hit him as hard as I possibly could.

In the side of his face, he goes, that's what I'm talking about. He stood up. That's what I'm talking about. And he stood up. And when he stood up, his chair. hair hit me in the lake, so I grab his chair. And I'm whacking this, I'm whacking him with this big, thick blue chair. And I'm hitting him, boom, and he starts running.

And then Michael Young, I'm going to say his name is from DC, took a step in my direction. So I pointed the chair at him. I was like, oh, he, get back. So when I went back to hit Allen some younger somewhere, he's a little far away. And I threw the chair at him, and he catches it. I'm not like you. He catches the chair. He goes, oh, you want to hit people with chairs, do you?

And he comes to hit this big 65, 275 grill is. about to hit me with the chair, I go, ah! And when he did it, this finger, like, does the double. So this goes and this goes. So my hand looks like, my finger looks like that now. And that's how my finger looked. And so I'm kind of stunned looking at my finger, but I notice my head keeps whacking from him hitting me with the chair in it. And somebody from Fairfax slid me a chair, so I looked at my hand, and I grabbed it, and I straightened in, I grabbed the chair. And I'm whacking him in his legs. And then Michael Chapman, the deputy, who ends up being my brother-in-law, puts the mace through the door,

because that's Chrissy's brother. He puts the mason, calm down. I'm thinking, man, this guy's going to me with a chair. You're telling me to calm down. Six, five, two, seventy-five. I'm a, what are you talking about? So he's like, God damn, Jason, I'm telling you, calm down. I'll mace you.

And so this guy quits wacking me with the chair. So I take a step back, and he takes a step back, and he puts his chair down, and I'm putting my chair. I go to throw it at him and get any, he picked up his chair. I got, and I put my chair down. That was the end of it. And the irony is that I went to R-Sales just for one night because he was being sent to D.C.

And they were done. So there was no person for the fighting charge, and I came back up. So then you flash for it. Okay, so then what? So then I get out, and then I get in trouble. That's when I jump through the window

and I give myself to two years for, because I don't want to make sense to court's anything. I did it to myself. And Darren Williams, man, he was carrying. I never got into the racist stuff because Fairfax isn't that racist. Sorry.

Sorry. You never got into that. Do you mind not messing up my interview? I'm sorry. Good Lord. You never got in the racist thing. I mean, you're Michael Cox. I'm Matthew Cox.

Matthew, God, damn it. That's fine. You're a beast. So, what was I saying? Oh, oh, so Darren Williams out of Baltimore. Only 5, 10. Oh, man. And he was trying to carry the white guys.

But he didn't mess with me, per se. But I would do, I play dirty hearts. I do for push-ups. I go to the body. I was, I fit in in jail. I like jail. I go in and get strong and shit in jail. That way I could go give it all to the drug dealer when I left.

You know what I mean? I get nice and strong and healthy. My family would love me. Come home and work and then end up being an idiot again. But he was carrying the white guy. So I upset in my head. I said, if he ever does anything to me, he'd like make the white guys clean up on his damn. Like, man, we can clean up for that guy for him.

So I put a note on the telephone. So there's two telephones. And back then in like 94, 95, they were 30-minute calls. I wanted to call Story, my girlfriend. And the only way you knew the time was by touching the TV. So I put Jason's phone at whatever it was, 6.30. And at like 6.15 or 6 o'clock, he walks over and looks at the note, balls it up, and throws it. Oh, okay.

So I took off my shower shoes and put on my little kung fu kicks, you know, the blue shoes. And I keep going over to the TV touching it. I want to see the time. And so it was like five minutes for my phone call, I walked over, and I tapped him on because he had taken the trash can and flipped it over and sitting on. And, you know, he's talking woo, woo, woo, and I, and I, for the guy earlier that we talked about

and I go, yo it's like, what? I said, phone. Some white boy. I was like, I'm tapping. I was like, yo,

you got 10 seconds. And he hung up the phone. I was like, oh shit, that worked. Yeah, yeah, I'm that guy.

And so I get on the phone. I get on the phone. And back that you had to break through the block. So when you're talking about breaking through the block, I was calling a pay phone, which means I had a block on it. But if you take a shower, She wouldn't tap the side of the phone.

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, it would break through the block. So I had done that story to answer the phone at Benigans, of all places where she's waiting tables. Remember? Benegans. Benegins is the place to be, evidently. So she worked at Benegans at this point as a server, and she answers the phone, and I'm talking to her, and all of a sudden I get the... I'll go, what? What are we going to do?

After 10 seconds ago, I said, I was going to take the phone. And the calmness should have let me know that I was going to get my ass kicked. He walked over to what we call the picnic table, but it's a metal picnic table. It's in jail. I only remember him saying the name, Red. Red, and he called another name of these trees, these mountains of men came out. And he very politely said, he said, when that boy gets off that phone, I'm going to take him in that cell and kick his ass. I said, I'm going to wait.

And I ran over and went out of him, and he just starts beating me. Like, he can fight, fight. Like, I want to be, I like to fight hockey style. You grab my lapel. I grab yours. We hit each other. and like being hit more quits. That is not how he fought.

He fought very well. Boom, boom, boom, jab, punch, punch. And so I grabbed this guy knowing I can't match him in hands and I throw him over by the telephone. I'm like using my strength. I throw him over by the telephone. And I run over and try to kick him. And I'm not lying, man.

He blocks it and pieces me all the way up. So the fight goes on and all you hear is that's what it sounds like. But it's really my face getting hit a lot more than his. Right. And I'm thinking to myself because this fight's going for two minutes like that's a long time for a fight oh my god tell me about i'm watching a fight for a minute is like you're already exhausted people are already their noses are broken things are bad

things have already happened that's why i lost both my fights is i smoked back then i did street beef lost both my fights because i guess he's all i look good though didn't i so i'm thinking where are the cos right where are the bullies right like i don't remember fights going on this long how come to what I meant is taking forever. And these are really my thought process that is going on. Like, damn, this is taking a long time. So I take the last of my energy and I throw him in front of the window, like the bigger windows. In case you're missing this, which I know they're not because the other inmates had to lock in.

And when I threw him, it just took the last of my energy. And he stayed on his knees. So when I came over, I kind of slid up to him on my knees and I grab him and I hit him. And he hits me. And I headbutting. And when I head buddy him, I see that he has a nice mouse on his on his eyes. eye and I'm like, I'm going to bite his face. Yeah.

So I went to go bite his face. I think he had the same thought because he actually did bite my lip. So when I ripped back and head buddyed him again, I didn't know, but my lip was missing at that point. Oh, my God. So the second head, like, did it pretty good to him. But I'm so cashed in that I actually pushed myself when I see the police get ready coming.

He says, two doors I got to come through. And I'm hitting me, but I have nothing. Like, I'm like, maybe. But it looks. as if I'm winning Excuse me I burke Let's

Thumbnell that out I don't think I know What thumbnail means I think I know What that means But as they're coming in It looks like I'm winning Say literally

Handcuff me And help him up And as they're spinning me With the handcuffs They're helping him up And when he hits me You ever heard of all the bitch Coming out of someone

Do they spun me into And they're helping him up He hit me so And I go Oh Oh Oh, my God. And then they slam, like, they slam me down, and I'm cuffed, and I see, like, just imagine

if you're false, it's just leaking, like, not drip to drip, but leaking. And that's what's underneath my face. And then they eventually put me on my butt, my eye, like, literally, he had you said, my eye was messed up for a long time. They sent me there and go, hey, I know I'm going to the hole, but I think I need medical. Like, don't talk, Brewer. don't talk. And so you know it's kind of bad.

When you're like in Fairfax County, you have A floor, B floor, which we call B's floor for first timers. And then you have third and four floor maximum security. You got to go down the elevators. You got to go by B4 to get to medical. So as I'm going down B floor, I know it's bad. My eye hurts. My lip doesn't feel like anything.

It feels like I have a fat lip. But my eyes. Is the lip gone? Yeah. Well, yeah, you're about to find out for sure. It's nothing but teeth. Yeah. 25% of your smile.

It's all teeth right here. Well, yeah, but it looks like there's fat in there is what it looks like because I got a few of the pictures. So when they took pictures of it, I don't have them now, but they were, like, the deputies got in trouble because they're taking pictures of it. They're like, this is great. We've got to see this. As I'm going down B floor to get down to medical, the guys, because you only got a little window. They're going, oh, shit. Like, I know I am effed up looking.

I know they're going, oh, because the faces keep doing that. That's not good. And so I get all the way down to the medical and the lady, like, if this is my mouth, she just keeps touching all around it. The nurse keeps touching all around. She's like, well, he's got to go to the hospital. I'm like, damn, I go to the hospital for that. And she's like, has anybody seen it? And I'm like, seen it.

And Fred, we called him Fred Flintstone because he looked like Fred Flintstone and the deputy is, I got his lip right here on a request for him. I go, my lap. And the biggest here goes over the biggest swelling act because that's what it felt like. I was like, my lip. And this big ass tear goes up and over my eye and down my face. And they sent me out to Fairfax Hospital. And the plastic surgeon was pissed because she was in a real nice gown. I guess she was on call.

And she came in and fixed my lip-up. Four and a half hours of plastic surgery. I mean, it looks good for having missed been off of your face for a while. Yeah, pretty cool, right? God. And then I guess that, you know, things just went downhill from there. I mean, honestly, things just got progressively worse from there. I try to commit after that.

In prison? No, no, no. So, you know, I just do my little two years. The two years is nine months. Oh, okay. Yeah, so two years was only nine months. I'm still all law. Yeah, the law, it had to be 94 because they changed the law on 95 to, two, to, really 91%,

but they say 85%. They changed the law after that politician's daughter got cards. I was in Virginia. I just went downhill from there. I got real strong out on drugs and alcohol. I was out on the street prostituting for it. I was, you know. Where are you staying during this time?

Street, couch to the couch, anywhere I could. My girlfriend would take me in for a bit. My mom would take me in for a bit, but I never stayed anywhere very long. How long did that last? I was 21. I tried to kill myself, and then I spent. And this is, I'm sorry. Okay.

In 21, I was staying with a guy named Greg. He's dead. Greg Bigelow. He's dead now. I'm pretty sure he off himself, but he was dying of AIDS anyhow. And we party at his place. And I didn't know he had AIDS. I didn't know he was dying already.

He's a nice guy. And I found all this medicine. His medicine had a bunch of perks at, a bunch of volume, a bunch of everything. And I, in my head, I feel like I lost story. You know, nobody in my family went to be around me. I hated myself I was living on the streets for the most part

everything I got I used for drugs and alcohol I just I didn't want to be a part of this world at that point and so I was like when the party's over the party's over so when we finally ran out

all the drugs and alcohol I took all of his bills and I mean all of them I took three or four bottles and chased it down with half a bottle of vodka and normally Greg goes into his bedroom and sleeps for about 12 hours

I'm thinking that's plenty you know because soon as he went to bed shut the door I had already had, I had all this planned, and I started taking it. It was so easy to get down. It's how I knew I was, you know, I've tried, like, with pills before to, like, kind of like, like, a cry for help, but this was like, I'm done. But anyhow, he came out of the room about six hours later.

I was purple called the ambulance. First he picked out. It was funny because he told me he was like, I picked up all the drugs before they came. Don't worry. Like the paraphernalia, I said, thank you. Yeah. And I was in coma for about 12.

days. Holy shit. Like you didn't like you because you know a lot of times people take a bunch of pills and they end up your stomach like rejects it and you know it never you just nope. They I don't remember much just that he came out. I was purple. They called the paramedics. The paramedics came and Molly story wasn't come to see me. He called Molly because he knew Molly and she came in and from what they told me the doctor was like, why is in his family here? He's not coming out of it. He has heart, he's in a coma, he's touching go. We don't think he's going to make it. His family needs to come in and say goodbye.

That's what they told me, the doctor said, and that's why she contacted my mom. Right. And that was the first time I, like, I wouldn't really call it. I'm not trying to get, I'm not religious by any stretch of imagination, but I came to with my mom holding my hand praying.

That's how I came out with the mama. She was saying goodbye, hold my hand, and she was praying. And that's when I came out. I saw her, and I thought, damn, am I dead? And I wasn't. And then it just got worse from there. You keep saying that, bro. But it does.

So you woke up out of the coma after 12 days. And they kept me in a psych ward for about a week. But nobody wanted me. Like, I didn't have anywhere to go. And all I can think is I want to get out of here and get back to what I was doing. You know, now that I remember yelling at my mom. She came into the psych ward to see me. And I'm cussing around.

I'm like, I was in the cosmos. who's happy and you had to go bring me into this world. I hate you. And this is what I did for the person that loves me, has been trying to save me, and she's just bawling. I didn't, you know, it's funny because I was in so much pain. I couldn't see anybody else's pain.

I didn't see how anything I did affected anybody else. But now that I look back when I'm like, man, who the fuck told you to their mom that way? But it was just, I was very sick at the time. It's that addict, that addict behavior. And, you know, you're around enough of them. You can see it now immediately. It's that entitlement.

The victim mentality. Yeah, yeah. I'm only, if you had my, but it got worse. I started robbing drug dealers in D.C. getting shot at, pistol whip, beaten. And I was 20. Oh, wait. You're robbing drug dealers and you're getting pistol whipped, or you're pistol whipping them?

No, I'm getting, because I was doing the grab and goes. Oh, okay. Grab the package and run and getting shot. Like, I went. I was doing it so often And I had this yellow GEO storm That was really stories car And I'd pull up

The guys put the gun on my head I got me last week And you know it's funny Trugly it was cool as shit I was like it was like Oh shit yellow car red hat It's you And he was like what are you getting

I was like a hundred He's like nah you took 100 for me last week I'm gonna give you I think he said 40 or 60 And you still owe me I was like that is awesome And then he does that for me And then whoever I got

Before that punches me in the face. Like, he was cool. He doesn't get me. As soon as I pull, he's like, ah, nah, no, I'm a, nah. And, um, so whatever. And then he gets, the thing to this is, then it gets worse. So, I'm 20, that'll be the, that'll be the clickbait.

Yeah, I, uh, you know, I had a big fight with story. I was 24 years old. I can't believe this chick's still around. Story, Molly, all of them. It's probably because I'm a terrible lover. I don't know what it is. I was going to say, yeah, it must be something. Something else is going on here.

Yeah. Something, you know. It's not the looks. It's better. It must be, it's, you must have improved dramatically since the, uh, since the, uh, since the chicks, uh, swimming in the pool. What was her name? The first love.

Molly. Molly, Molly's, Molly, and stories stuck around forever. Molly, Molly kept up with me the whole time. Like, Molly wrote me, um, a letter while I was in prison. I've been down about eight years. Like, I will, I have a husband and children. And I'm happy. I will never love them like I love you.

Story. The second I came home from prison dropped the guy. she was with. Let's hope her husband doesn't see this. I'm sure. I'm sure he won't. They're very successful, wealthy people. They're not paying attention. I hold not. What does that say about my? I have a, for whatever reason, and this is not, boasted has none due to the ego. I have quite the effect on women. I think probably because I'm so broken, they just want to heal me, and they probably can't figure out how to reach me.

You know, I'm guessing. I have no clue. My wife, to this day, my wife worked 9-11, Jesuit school, perfect, perfect woman, strong, perfect, beautiful, and I can't love her. I don't know how to do it. You know, it's a weird thing. There's something inside of me about, if you love me, it hurts. But if you only like me and are using me for sex, it's okay. And that's a hard, a hard reality to come to.

And it's taken me three years of not drinking and drugging to even be. begin to understand that that's where I'm at. People that love me, truly love me, hurt me. And not, not, I'm saying it wrong. They're not hurting me. Their love for me hurts me because it's something about not, I'm not, it doesn't make sense to me. Because you feel like you don't deserve it.

Yeah, I know how filthy. I know the things I've done. I know the hurt I've caused. And it's one thing for you to like me and be there for me, but it's another thing for you to love me. I don't understand it. And it almost makes me angry at them. I'm almost resentful at them.

You know, it's one, like, I get along great with him. But if he, if he loved me unconditionally, I'd probably get away from me. We could be, you know what I mean? He won't even sleep under the covers with me. Yeah. You could have to, there was all pre-stores. It's not what it sounds like. But maybe it is.

It's easy, baby. I'm not going to put it out there. Oh, my. Clickbait, kidding. Yeah, they got a, they got to subscribe to Patreon if they want the full story. Oh, yeah. What's Patreon? Oh, my God.

I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. It's where people can, people can support you and they sign up for whatever you determine the amount is. We, we're saying 10 bucks a month, you know, so you say for $10 a month, you can be a part of my Patreon. And it's a different, it's a different, what, format or different website. It's a different platform. We'll post videos that are longer and uncensored, pretty much the whole raw conversation. Right, right.

I like Patreon. Yeah. We can do our ditty clips. And then what's, but I say what's good about it is that, well, first of all, you don't have to do anything. You can just say, hey, if you want to support me and people could give you $10 a month. And you never put anything. I mean, we put stuff on there. I think that's what makes it, would make it more successful.

Not that mine's overwhelmingly successful, but we really just started pushing it. Yeah. But there are some guys that make, you know, thousands, tens of thousands of dollars just on Patreon. So, yeah, like, you could do a Patreon because people would want to help support you. Because people, as they watch your story and watch you get better or become more successful or kind of rebuild your life, people will start. People want to, they want to support you. Right. Oh, that's really cool.

That's never heard of it. And it's 10 bucks a month. Like, people don't, they do it and they, and every once in a while, maybe they go back and they check and they can watch it. And you can leave them messages and you can talk to them or whatever. Right. You'd be shot. I'm worth 20. Negotiate for 20. Where were we at?

Coma, yelling at your mother, get out of, do you get out of the hospital? Oh, yeah, and then I'm out, and I'm with Story, and we have this big, huge fight. I'm 24 years old, so I hitchhike out to Winchester, I'm a car anymore. Like, my car was Story's car. Right. Or whoever, whatever girl I was with at the time, I just take, you know, I'd use their car. And I hitchhike out to Winchester, Virginia. And this is how, this is how, I want you to imagine this.

I'm in Winchester, Virginia, and I'm out riding around. I meet some redneck, and we're out driving around. And we go by this corner market store, and there is a girl who is pregnant fighting another girl. I said, what the hell is this? Because you don't see this in Fairfax. Right. This is Winchester. You're in Winchester now, boy.

And I'm sitting there watching it. And her sister was there to support her eight months. pregnant sister fighting i was like what world my end this is awesome let's go out drinking after this and i ended up sleeping with with robin her sister she's you know the one that was there for support yeah that was there for support and this raggedy ass uh ford escort probably made in the 80s i'm guessing and we were out hanging out and i was drinking and um she was 18 i was 24 we we she drops me off i think i'm staying at like uh the uh the garrison's house oh wait when their children don't Anyhow, so we go to the Garrison's house, and we're outside kissing and making out.

She lets me go ahead and do the do. And I'm like, hey, I got a release. She's like, oh, go ahead. I can't get pregnant. I'm like, God, I love this check. Wrong. Listen, I've heard that before. Wrong.

I already got one kid after that conversation. Dumb her in the bag of dicks. So after that, she's pretty good. Like, I was like young, blonde, tall, pretty. But I was drunk all the time. Here's a great story about them. I'm with the Garrisons. I'm like, man, she's coming over.

And they're like, yeah, I'm like, man, too, she's. she's six foot tall, blonde hair, blue eyes. She should be a model. Like, I'm like, she's smoking hot, bro. And I'd only seen her when I was drinking. I mean, really drinking. And so she comes in with her pregnant sister Meg to this Christmas party. And I'm like, yo, she's in and they go, her?

I'm like, yeah, her. They're like, her? I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? She's six foot tall, blonde hair, blue eyes. She's gorgeous. Like, I don't think so, bro. And I thought her makeup. I thought she was doing makeup to look hair when she, no.

wrong makeup to look what like heroin she oh yeah she's real skinny and she had really dark eyes so i thought that that was like her like mask makeup wrong terrible skin because i woke up next to the next day i was like damn they're right oh your butt you're nasty as shit pregnant because i slept with her like four or five times over the month and then like she came to see me she's like by the way i'm pregnant i'm like i kind of saw charge for this this is crazy how you touch the soul charges. We're in her, we're in an apartment, and she's telling me this, and she's sitting in a chair, and I go, wait a minute, you're pregnant?

I was like, you told me you can't get pregnant. She's like, oh, I didn't think after the miscarriage, I'd get pregnant again. I was like, you and I picked up the chair. I was like, you've been pregnant before. And I've slamed the chair down, but it breaks. And then her sister is like on, like, I don't know, and she's like the flash. She has the phone in her hand with 911 before the chair breaks. So I snapped the phone cord and call them some dumb, whatever, and walk out.

And then there was a charge out for me for assault on a family member. I'm like, how does she have family? Because she's pregnant. Oh, my God, it's brutal. She didn't show for court, though, got dismissed. So I'm nice enough to her until the court case happens. She's pregnant, and I decided to go back to Fairfax. I'm nice enough until the court case.

Right? Right. You lied to me already. I mean, damn. Anyhow, I played a big part in that by having them. protective sex. Don't do that. Get a puppy instead of a kid. So I go back to Fairfax and Story, you know, I'm like, I'm in town.

I'm actually with some chick, I tried heroin for the first time. That's how I get back. And I'm like, I call a story and I'm like, yeah, I'm in town. She's like, do you want to meet? I'm like, yeah, so I take this heroin chick's car to go meet Story and we end up having sex in the field, but she's asking me like, did you get married? I'm like, did you get married? I'm like, did you get married?

She's like, did you get someone pregnant? I said, ironically enough I did. immediately. She's like, I want you to leave her. You're coming out to my house in Sterling. We're going to stay in Sterling. And we start having sex seven to eight times a day. And she's like, come in me. It makes, or release inside me. It feels better. We've been together off and for seven years. Never felt better before because we never did it before because we didn't want to have kids before. And after she's pregnant, she's like, stop doing that. It makes me smell. But she didn't want to have a kid. So now I have two women pregnant, four and a half months apart. And then, um, um, um, um, um, and it only gets what. And then it gets worse. And it gets worse from there. So after that, I had these two women pregnant. All I'm doing is doing drugs and drinking because that was the threat she gave me. She's like, okay, I'm pregnant.

I'll take care of you. Me and my parents would take care of you, but you can't drink or drug. If you do drink or drug, I'm going to Westchester with my parents. And I was like, okay, game on. I call your bluff. And I left right there and went to go ahead. No bullshit. Right after that, that weekend, I came back, kind of tail talk.

He's like, it's okay, you can help me move. I'm moving in my parents in a month, and that was the last time I saw her. No, I saw her one more time, but briefly when she was pregs, and then I went to jail. For what? Would you go to jail for that? Oh, shit. Oh, I'm sorry. So after that, and she left, I kind of went off the deep end.

And if it couldn't get any worse, I was just around the clock, drinking and drugging, robbing, stealing, getting shot at, pistol whip, beat down, pit bull, biting me, hit with a metal, something of a chair. It got bad And so I was like I don't want to sell myself anymore I don't want to beg my mother for money anymore I don't want to do this anymore I need to go to jail because that's where I'm safe at That is a that's a hell of a thing to believe

But that's what I thought So I called a friend because back then they had pay phones I called a friend and I said hey I'm going to rob the Blue Max gas station With a fake gun And a pair of choice But I didn't tell him now I just I'm going to rob the Blue Max gas station She's like bro, I'll take you detox

And I said I don't deserve detox and I hung up and I went into the Blue Max gas station because we had a Fort Bronco parked on this kind of got to go over a dish but anyhow it's on the side of road right up the street from the Blue Max gas station I walked in a pair of shorts a tattoo that said story on my chest because it's the only tattoo I had at the time that was plucked in jail that was funny because they only had half the tattoo when I got my lip bit off I had to get the guy when I came out of the hole to come back over to the pot I was in and finish it up I forgot about that And I walked in

And have you guys ever seen a movie? Like, give me the money. And then the next thing, it's in a bag. Right. So I thought that's how it would go down because I had never robbed anything before. So I walk in with this fake cap gun. I'm like, give me the money. He's like, no.

What? I said, give me the money. And he was like, no. So when I put the gun down, then he opened up the till, the cash register. And I'm like, put it in the bag. He's like, no. So I grabbed the money and I stopped. stuffing in my pockets and shit my pair of shorts and I was like the big bills are underneath

lift it up he's like no so I do this like I just want to just fingerprint but there's no big bills underneath of it and so I left your fingerprints yeah I mean I was like there's a big black guy crosses through the gun who'll shoot you if you call the cops I'll tell you the biggest rush I had was from that first robbery because I started taking off out of the parking lot and it's a big you know there's like a drainage ditch beside a road did I leaped over that that, no problem. And so I jumped in the car and we're headed to D.C. and you can see all the cops going this way on 66, where we're going this way on 66. And then after I robbed that, I robbed a sitcom for a, I only got like $745 for that. I robbed a sitcom for $85. I jumped over

the counter at a record and tape exchange. You got like $500. I robbed Greg. I didn't rob Greg, but I, um, Gray and Larson need him for $2,000. I just, I knew, I just, I just went to his house and grabbed the skis and went to his trunk anywhere. He kept his money. I took that. And then I went to Virginia Beach and I robbed the Chinese restaurant with a fake gun and that's when it stopped because everybody

else was just annoyed. When I robbed the Cicco gas station, I went in with what were they called? A handyman knife, but it's not really a knife. It's like a tool thing. And so I'm working this handyman like it's like it's a butterfly knife but it's really pliers.

Like, there could be a knife, and I'm like, give me the money. It's not a very good problem. I mean, are these back-to-back robberies? Yeah, back-to-back. Like, I robbed the gas station, let's say Wednesday, sicko, Thursday, whenever the money run out Thursday, Greg on Friday, record in the tape exchange on a Monday, and then we headed down to Virginia Beach.

And Virginia Beach is where it stopped from me. Because when I robbed the Chinese restaurant, she screamed. Everybody else was annoyed. They were men. They were annoyed. And the people at record tape exchange, they were high kids. They thought it was funny. They didn't even have a register.

They just had it in a cigar box. I jumped up on the stand and said, this isn't life a bitch. So at any point, was there an actual point when you thought, hey, I should. Cabot. Was there ever a point when you thought I should stop doing this and get a regular job and be a regular citizen? No, no, there was never a time when you thought, are you telling people this, though? Like, oh, I'm going to clean up. No, like, I would work for Randy and I would do like manual labor roofing.

Right. Right. But he was like, you're the most expensive hammer picker up where I've ever met. I bring you here for your, like for you, not for your work ethic. Right. Like, I had no skills. Right. I could, my father was a roof.

I can't nail a, the shingle would save my life. Right. If you're like, million bucks. Coenella, I single straight. Sorry. I'll give my best. You're not going to get the straight roof with me. Okay, so, so you robbed all.

How many places did you rob? So I robbed the Blue Max gas station, and then I robbed this Citgo gas station. I jumped over the counter at the record and tape exchange. They count that as a grand larceny. They didn't have a register. They just had their money in a cigar box, and I took it. It's so funny, I jumped over the counter, and I jumped over the counter, and I jumped Then I grabbed and I jumped back up on the counter like I'm surfing like I must have

saw it in like point break yeah yeah it's in life a bitch and took off that one was funny and then um I took Craig Bigglois $2,000 out of his car and then I went down to Virginia beach and robbed that place so I don't get caught for any of them yet and I came back to Virginia and I'm trying to separate myself because I threatened the both of them like if you tell me I'll be because I got real real real upset after the the Chinese restaurant she screamed it was not cool like i walked in i was like hey do you have changed for a dollar bill and she was okay and she hit it and i pulled out the fake gun and she screamed she was literally scared and i didn't like any of that right that was not cool everybody else was annoyed by me i was

like the the nice robber and and and she was literally scared i didn't like that so so i was real pissed off when we left there you know i was like i i'll you guys for this you know i don't because it was their idea i'm blaming i'm the professional victim you know Right. I'm an addict. So, like I said, they don't catch you for those. So I'm at 7-11 meeting my mom for cigarettes in this older, not older, will, to me, you know, I was 24, 24, 25 the time, 25, you know, she had a little hitching her giddy up. I helped her carry a wine to the door. And when she gave me a hug, I shook her hand and I let her, I, anyhow, it was a big innuendo what I wanted. And she was hobbled. She's like, okay, come on over. So I was staying with her. And then I got her a day. And then I wanted to see Jacob was born at this point. And so I wanted to see Jacob.

So Robin came down. She was all for it. Bring your son in. That'd be great. And I was sleeping. I was passed out. Who's Robin? Oh, Jacob's mother.

The chick that said she couldn't get pregnant, the one broke the chair on? Okay. Sorry. Yeah, she stuck around too. They all do. Jesus, bro. What the hell?

So that makes me look, too. Let's make that where I'm not a complete. complete dickhead about that's I there's he's not that good of an editor yeah it's good it's good for engagement yeah okay listen we're you Colby's willing to call me is willing to destroy your reputation for for some views and as you should be so um she brings Jacob in the and I'm fall asleep and somehow I bump her and Jacob's crying I'm like shut the get up and she gets all upset. So she says, now, I don't know that this is true because I've been on for days drunk. I've been high for days. And I'm like, shut him up. And so she gets pissed off and leaves

and calls the police, not knowing I have all these robberies. She's calling the police on me for whatever. All I remember for sure was that Jacob was in a car seat and she's like, say goodbye to say goodbye to say goodbye to say goodbye to went back to sleep. And the next thing I knew was I heard knocking, I like stories knocking where it's boom, boom, because she had a solid storm door, so they're knocking on the glass. And my friend Rich, who's now upstairs with the woman, the guy that I did all the robberies with, he's like, hey, Robin and Jacob were at the door. Get up and get it.

So I go up there completely ass naked, kind of like when I was in the closet and open the door to, I don't know, 20, Fairfax City Police. So they hadn't caught you for the robberies, but they had ID'd you already. Yeah, they knew. Yeah, yeah, but they had never caught me for them. So when she says that when she mentions your name, they're like, oh, hey, we got a warrant for that to you. Yeah, where is he at? And we'd love to have a conversation.

So they came in. I try to be Travis Brewer. They weren't going for it. Like, not that you. And so they let me get dressed and took me to the, I don't know, the little station in Fairfax. It's a very small substation before you go to the jail. And they're like, oh, we're just waiting on the detectives. like, wait. I'm like, so tired. I've been handcuffed

to this table for hours. I'm like, come on. And then the detectives come in and take me into a room, start the recorder, they remove Miranda rights, and they're like, okay, so you want to tell us anything? I was like, about what? They're like, well, we know about the robberies, and we know that you used the caravan.

I was like, oh, they didn't know anything. And I said, attorney. And he kept pressing, I said, attorney. I said, I want a attorney. And he stops and he's like, a piece of shit like you doesn't get one. I'm like, you. And so, like, They're like, okay. It shuts off the recorder.

Yeah, he's like, piece shit like he doesn't get one. And we go to jail. And this is where it gets kind of funny because that's when I knew I was really, really we get to the magistrate, and he's reading off the robberies and the gun charges. And I'm like, oh, shit, man, I am fine. I am really fucking. And he goes, abduction of Jacob Daniel Brewer. I said, what?

Abduction of robin coughing. I'm like, I didn't do that. And I start cussing at him. And this detective, not Detective Little, Detective Little, and the, himself, but the, The detective that I'm beefing with, the one that says, I'm a piece shit on the attorney, literally grasped my throat and pins me, like, he's choking me. And I do one of these numbers and try to look at the magistrate, and I shit you know what the match straight does this. And that's when Detective Little, when he had his partner release my neck. And I was 156 pounds.

I understand I was tiny. Right. I was a shell of a man. I was just a skeleton. I thought I was back to the heroin sheik. I thought I looked good. I was like, I'm so ripped. You can see everyone else.

You're just disgusting. He's still, don't worry about the ones you didn't do. Worry about the ones you did. And so I went to jail. I had 13 charges, 11 felony, two misdemeanor. I got 10 days for contempt of court because when I beat the two abductions, like Robin showed him tested for like, induct me. He didn't prevent me from leaving.

He didn't assault me. Like those charges were dismissed, but I played guilty to two robbery and two grand larceny. And the prop, because all the gun charges went away, my code of and said it was a fake gun. But it doesn't matter in Virginia. If there's a gun, the threat is the same to the person, whether it's real or fake. But they were cool about it.

They're like, all right, we're going to drop all these. If you plead to these, so I pled to get through two robberies, two grand larcenies. He's like, you realize you can receive life, life in 20 and 20 for a total of two life sentences in 40 years. And I said, yes, I understood that. And the prosecutor laughed. So I got mad and I kicked the chair at him, like, because I couldn't get to him. So I kicked the chair out of him. I said, this is my life.

And kicked the chair out of the death. didn't appreciate that man the cuffs were on so hard bro so they cuffed me really really tight and they set me in the holding cell for about 30 minutes and they brought me back and any time i went to court after that which is not good there's always like six deputies around me pinning me holding me there don't move like they they were deep right and so they finally uh took off the cuffs and place your hands in front don't move them off the table all that shit so he gave me 10 days for contempt the court and i just kind of laughed I was like, okay.

I just plead guilty to two life sentences in 40 years. And so when the sentencing came, my guidelines were 11 years, 7 months to 18 years with the mid range of 15. So I thought I was going to get to 153. And the judge was really cool. He gave me 20, 2020, or 20, 20, 20, 20, and 20, 8 years, five months to spend in. So I'm 11 years, seven months, end the 10 days for contempt to court. And so I'm done in Fairfax.

I'm thinking it's over. And I get a pro visit downstairs. Like, what the hell am I getting a pro-visit for? What's a pro-visit? Probation? No, pro-visit is either an attorney or a deputy or whatever. It's pro. It's not a regular visit.

It's a pro-visit. It could be anything. Okay. So I thought it was my attorney, and it was two detectives from Virginia Beach. So the guy, Rob, or Richard, Richard or Rob, I forget his name that, but who was my co-defendant, also had 15 felony check charges, and to get out of them, he told them about the robbery in Virginia Beach, which they had another guy arrested for. like they didn't they weren't even looking at me for that I left no fingerprints he did he looked similar to me he had a violent past he was arrested he was a way and he told on me for

that one so they came to see me you know same thing do you have anything to say you I want an attorney and I walked out like because it was different this time they weren't there to read my ranes they just asked me if I want to tell me anything I said you and I walked out I was I was mean back then much meaner at that point I'm like I got a hard know a dude told me I was like you got a hard enough you got a hard enough you're going to prison It's time to be hard now. You're not in jail anymore. And I took that advice because I was not going to be punked in prison.

So anyhow, I took it to trial. I had a four-day trial. The lady I robs, it looks like him a bit, can't be sure. My two co-defendants testimony sucked because they did testify. But it was, did you see the robbery? No. Would you be facing three robbery charges right now, plus all these check charges from your grandmother that you stole from? Yes.

So I got a hung jury. The jury foreman actually called. my attorney, and apologize, it was nine to three my way. And so they offered me five years. And I figured, fuck it, I did it, five years. It's 16 years, seven months, 10 days. Jesus. In total.

And so that's what I did. But that gets, the second sentence gets stacked, right? You're adding an additional five years. Yeah. So, yeah, so in total. So they gave me 20 years with 18 suspended for the robbery instead of give me three years for the gun. So I got five years tacked on to run consecutive.

So I went from 11 years, seven months, 10 days, to 16 years, seven months. 10 days, which, man, I should have done 14 years in two months, but I kept getting in trouble in prison, so I did 15 years, 20 days. Bro. So where, fuck. I don't know why when I hear people sentences. I mean, I did 13 years, but I hear people say, yeah, I did 10 years. I'm always like, 10 years.

Right. You hear that I'm like, wait, didn't you do 13? It does, yeah, but that suck, too. But, fuck. Still, though. you can't be robbing people no it's bad no they frown on that law enforcement they had no sense of humor

I don't like it um it's just weird you did scare the old Chinese lady yeah that was not cool that that was definitely not cool uh but so so you go to prison where did they send you well what kind of a prison like they have in in the state system

they have uh they have like pins mediums lows and camps or what's it yeah so the lowest is a level one the highest is a level Six, so like a woman to be a road camp, a two is a dorm, majors are threes, and then you have the Supermaxes, which I went to twice, Sussex One, Red Onion, and Walons Ridge, but I only went to Sussex One twice. I started, and it's funny because I was really nervous about going to prison. I'm working out every day. I'm beefed up to about 220. I've never been 220. I'm pushing up, dipping, doing Tyson squads. I'm like, I'm nervous. I'm going to prison. I'm freaking out. The first person I go to is what we call Sweet Meadows. It is the softest prison in Virginia prison systems. Like you come in, like, hey, get a juice.

Sit down. We're going to give you a haircut. We're going to give you some clothes and your laundry. You can go, you'll be in Building 1B. I'm like, holy shit, this is cool. So, you know, give me a haircut. I have to shave because you can't have any hair on your face in Virginia prisons unless you have a shaving profile.

And I go down and it's nothing like as you pull in, there's like a little razor wire, offenses. I'm like, this is prison. This is what I've been sweating the whole time. And it was no big deal. I was only there for a very short time because I had heard a child molester in jail and called I aggravated assault. I had fighting charges. So when I went for my classification hearing, my age, my time, and my inmate record put me at 35 points, which put me out of Supermax. So I went from the sweetest little prison in the world. I was like, oh, I like this, dorm life. I was love. I was loving it. I had my homeboy Josh there with me. My home boy, Rico. I'm lifting weights. I'm

having fun. I'm tasting freedom. I got a summer. And I hadn't seen the sun in 26 months. I've been in jail, 26 months. And then the train ride, I was like, and when she said, you're going to Sussex One, my counsel, I was like, wait a minute. Why? I've never been to prison before. She's, oh, you'll be fine. Oh, and here's one other thing. This is something that I've always thought about. My mom came to see me. Well, first of all, when my lip got bitten off, my brother thought it was hysterical. My mom was crying, but when I was like, Mom, I'm going away for a long time. She's like, good. You'll survive in there. You know what to do. I can't go to bed every night thinking you're going, so I'm happy you're going. If you sleep hot at night, you know how disruptive that can be. Whether

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It was a relief to her. And what a, what a profound thing to say. And that makes sense now at the time. She was like, it was very weird because my mom's very strong. She goes, you do what you have to do. You go in there and you be a man. You do what you got to do. And then I was like, one way for one and she said, it's okay.

You'll be fine in there, but I need sleep. I don't have to worry about a call every night. You're dead or this or that. And that was a big deal to me. That really shocked me. But I also like the encouragement, you do what you have to do. Go in there and be a man. And she was proud of me.

I didn't snitch on anybody. I demanded an attorney. My co-defendants got PR bonds. They never did a day. They testified. You know, and I felt like I was a man. Because I thought if I had told anything and went to prison, that'd be it.

Like, I believe that if you snitch and you go to prison, that's it. It's not the truth. But that's what I thought at the time. Right. I saw lifers wouldn't keep their single cell telling anybody. It didn't matter. Like, but anyhow. So when I took the trip to Sussex one,

Let me tell you, there's never been anything. People think it's like people, and I did, I can't say what people do. I know I romanticized prison. I'm like, shit, I've seen enough movies. I'm going to have fun, you know. It's going to be somewhat scary. Somebody's going to get raped. I hope it's not me.

But when I pulled up to Sussex One, I can't, I can't explain it. You'd have to see it. It's just fence with razor wire, razor wire, razor wire, razor wire, razor wire, raise a wire, fence, razor wire, like, and the doors are just to get into a everything is getting very freaking real everything is cold everything is quiet the CEOs are not polite anymore they're walking around with shotguns I'm like what going on and when I get in there they're like they leave you there's several of us and they do each guy at a time and when it's my time strip turn around spread your ass cheeks cough lift up your balls put your hands through

your hair run your hands through this and then they come come in, they're recording this the whole time. Right. And they grab me, and they spread the eagle, and they grab me by the back of the head, and they bend me over. And now I'm really, and I'm tensing up, because I'm really, really scared. I'm

flipping out, because I don't know what the is really going on. They lift me up. They're like, we have permission to use the other force. Do you see that red line? You cross that red line, we will go to you. And I start tensing up, and they think I'm getting buck with them. Right. And they're about to hurt me, and it was a female lieutenant said, can't you tell

he's scared calm down and she's like can you calm down and I have tears in my eyes and I'm breathing heavy

and I'm real tight and I'm flipping out this is the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced short of probably childhood right

and they and they kind of calmed down and I went and I walked to my pod which my original pod was

4D and on that was not fun I walked up in there and I was like shit's real shit is real, real.

I may have made a mistake. It wasn't until that point. I was like, I may have fucked up. But Celsius one wasn't as bad the first time I went. It was pretty cool. It was all, like, they had to empty the majors, because they had just built these prisons from 95 to 97. So they filled it up by 2003 when I got there, or 2001, excuse me, well, I got their

Christmas Eve. So I was get returned 2002. They had all the guys that had been down 20 years up there. And all they wanted to do was get back down to where there's ice cream and soda. pop right you know in the comments there they had ice cream set pop there no no that nothing that could be made into a knife nothing nice because soda pop cans you can make a knife oh okay razors like do you have the security toothbrushes you didn't have real toothbrushes that suck yeah yeah it was brutal um new toothpicks but um you know they they kind of schooled me there the first time all head schooled me

i didn't have one fight i didn't have any issues at sussex one i got along great tony lewis who who came off death row in the 70s for they put him on death row for the CEO trying to escape he blinked all the time he was always blinking then his fat man tune and said why hell he's bling it done he said i blacked out myself well oh that's real funny and he's always blinking he's always blinking because he wasn't used to the light because he sat on death row for so many years said he had it completely blacked out so so how long were you there i was only there two years my level dropped and then i went to augusta Augusta. I was at Augusta for six years, but I got in a lot of trouble at Augusta. In a sense, that's where, it's weird because that's where I transformed into soda pop.

That's when I transformed into my alter ego, because it's kind of funny. It's Sussis 1 after you go through your 90-day evaluation. They put me in 2D and ended up on the top tier. And, you know, even though my celly was black, there was a lot of white dudes. Because it's not a lot of the racism wasn't there. It's not like I heard all about federal. prisons and being in cars. I was never in a gang.

I was never a white supremacist. I was recruited by the Crips, which I thought was just hysterical because I was at my stone in my sentence. Like, are you kidding me? You ever heard of the show Dawson's Creek? Yeah. I'd never seen Dawson's Creek.

So you've got all these thugs that are doing life in 20 and 10 and 17 years like me and we lock into Dawson's Creek and you only get like an hour wreck a day. But if Dawson's Creek was on when the doors popped, you'd see all of us thugs put our heads out. No, man, Creek on.

I'll go back. It's trying to make it sound cool. The Creek is on. It's a teenage drama show. There are guys in Coleman who'd been locked up, whatever, 20, 30 years, and they'd literally watched soap operas every day. They'd never miss. They'd watch them nonstop.

And they're called them their girls. That's my girl. Yeah. Oh, it's crazy. They know everything about every character, and they can tell you what character has died off, and they brought them back as another character. And they know the show's inside now. Yeah.

Or you'd see guys that are like, you know, 40, 50 years old men who'd been locked up 20, 30 years. And they're knitting. They would knit. You ever see the old guys that knit? And see, like, we didn't have knitting. You were in feds. Yeah. Bro, are you knitting?

Before we went to Augusta to get to Sussex, when I met Buzz, Moneymaker, Big Young, and, and my name's Jason. And in prison, there's a million jays and Jason. And so we'd be playing cards all the time. I don't think that was grammatically correct. We'd be playing. We were playing cards and you would hear Jay. And so Buzz, and then we get like, hey, we need a new name for you. You can't be Jason in here.

And I was like, okay. And he was like, what's your favorite book? I was like, The Outsider's like, Pick a Character. At first I said a Pony Boy, but he's like, there's already a pony boy in the system. I was like, Sotomopop. He's the middle kid. He's good looking. He can fight.

I fit the criteria. He's like, Bet, you're Soto Pop now. So when I went to Augusta, Buzz had been down. 12 years. I only been down a couple years at this point, four years, maybe five years in total. And so when we went to Augusta, we went together, like one day apart. And he knew everybody there. He knew Zach, Tweedy, Capone, and all the guys there. And my boy Josh from the jail, I loved it. Love Josh. I can't say his name, but love Josh. So when we got there, he introduced me a soda pop. But, you know, just kind of was like, all right, so that soda pop. And my name,

I became famous in Augusta, not in prison, but kind of in the Virginia system. Sotomay became famous because Josh is my best friend, and we live in the same cell together. We'd already done some things. We kind of had a cool reputation, but he wanted to go to the dining hall. And I'd rather meal.

My mom made sure I stayed with money because I didn't eat hardly any commissaire. I mean, anything from the kitchen, unless it was breakfast. I'd always eat commissary. But he wants it. It's spaghetti. So we're going to the dinah home.

I'm like, man, spaghetti day, shit. I didn't want to go because on Sundays, it's flooded because you only get two meals. You get brunch and dinner, and on the weekends, the dinojoles are flooded, and I didn't want to go. But he's like, he wanted, I was like, I'll give you my tray, said with you, and then we'll come back. Because we were never separate. And Josh and I, we're never separate. So we go there and it's just flooded. And so Billy Red, these are just four white guys that we knew.

Billy Red, Scully, I think it was Billy Johnson and Brent Smith, saw that we were milling around looking for a place to sit and they go yo pop josh and when they said pop josh gets soda pop just dude his name's kevin richly stopped and turned and looked and i said oh man i just you ever get a premonition you know something's going to happen yeah well i knew it because it was going to slow motion so they stand up to stand up so we can sit down as i go to set down my trail watching kevin originally come i didn't know his name was kevin richly at times just some big black dude i was like whatever but i knew i knew what was coming as i tried to set down and my trace, nah, this is me, bitch.

And sets down in my seat in front of 300 people in the Donald Hall who are noticing, and my friends who are noticing, and this is my first big challenge in prison. This is what the weight lifting, this is what the push-ups are for, this is for, either I have to

make a decision at this very moment, either I'm going to be, and I don't mean to use bad words, a punk and a bitch in prison, or I'm going to stand up and be like, man, because a little bit of shit I've done already isn't enough. This is, this is the show, this is what it's going to happen. And I just remember kind of blacking out, but not fully blacking out, and just taking a deep breath. And I hit him.

And I hit him. And he went to reach up for me, which scared me. So I hit him again. And I hit him again. But as I'm hitting him, I'm like, who's the bitch now? Who's the bitch now? And it was called the spaghetti and blood fight because I fractured his cheekbone, seven stitches, three stitches. And I just turned and cuffed up.

I just turned and cuffed up when the police came because I destroyed him in four points. They said it sounded like a baseball bat-hitting meat. And I'm not saying that's because I'm some killer. It's because I was so terrified that if I didn't do that, that I was going to be a punk for the rest of my time. And I wasn't going to be a punk. And so I went to the hole and the charge gets basically thrown out. They were like this good old boy prison.

Augusta was a white-run prison. Right. Every other prison was a black-run prison. But this is a white administration. And he's a mouthy, big black guy that talked a lot of shit. And I was unknown. And I destroyed him. So I spent like 10 days in the hole because, you know,

wait for hearing then you got to get released and when I came out everywhere I went I was soda pop and from that I took on that persona a soda pop I was no longer Jason I was no longer kind and caring and consider it I wasn't mean I wasn't a gangster I wasn't tough but I felt like I had that edge now like people oh no he will punch you in the face you better leave him alone and um it it it got me in scrapes it from from that point on um prison changed, I developed this, you know, I was like, I became cold, you know, like I called my mom only, I called my mom all time, but I only call on occasion, something real bad happened. I was like, man, and this dude's teeth were all over. It's a real bad, but I haven't seen that much blood before mom, and I could only talk to her about this stuff, because in there I had to enjoy it. Then it became normal. I don't know. It's funny, because I thought about it the other day, and I don't tend to ever talk about being tough, because I don't think I was tough. I think I was scared. the whole time I was in prison, but I had to go down them all.

I had one, two, three aggravated assaults, a really bad 100-series charge that was not a murder. Assault on staff, assault on a nurse. Like, I had all these violent charges to the point that I got sent back up to Sussex One in the state police game. Like, this is over my 15-year sentence. And I don't want to sit there in Hartburn Prison, even though I guess the show is kind of about that. the two to two scariest points or the three scariest points in my prison bid were Sussex won the first day and then when I crossed some lines but when I had 18 months left in the Virginia State Police showed up and they were like mr.

Brew we have had three criminal referrals about you if you put your hands on one more person not only we're gonna charge you for that crime we're gonna violate you for your probation in on Virginia Beach which is 18 years and we're gonna bury you under this prison and and I remember we had as we discussed the prison or the victim mentality I was like are you kidding me I just saw a dude get dragged into a bathroom by 10 dudes for an hour I was just sitting in a cell where they say give him the TV back after you beat robbed him or he's going to tell like you're what all I'm doing is defending myself in here you don't like a strong white

guy in here I made it racial and um they're like we're just telling you we get another criminal complaint against you, we're going to, and then I had to be scared. I was scared that I would hurt someone. And no bullshit, there wasn't two weeks later. I beat the hell out of my cellar because he just wouldn't shut up. You know, I got all this pressure on me now, and this dude just went, now shut the up. He's always talking, always ran, always raving, and he just wouldn't be quiet.

And I was like, I'm telling you. I'd already grabbed him and choked him. I choked him out. And I was like, you got to stop, bro. You got to stop. I'm not going to be able to stop myself because I know that I'm all worked up. And he's, after I choked him out, he stood up. started talking again, started talking loud, and we're on lockdown, and I end up beating him savagely.

And I, and I wouldn't let him out of the cell. There's two times I wouldn't let people out of the cell. I made him stay in the cell. I made him cover his face at count time, and it was just all bad. These are the things that I think about and shudder. And the second scariest part was going home. I was terrified to come home. I called my mom.

I was running up all these dads and drug deals and shit, and I was real strong out. I had to go to the hole and kicked up before I came home. And my mom's like, you're an effing coward. You're a fucking coward. You're scared to come home. And I was like, it didn't make sense. I was like, coward. You've been here with me for 15 years.

You know the charges I've had. You know the things I've done. Hey, you call me a coward. And she's like, because you're scared to come home. And I went back to my bunk. And I thought about it for a long time. And she was right. I didn't, I understood where I fit in prison.

You know, I was not a killer because I knew the killers, but I wasn't a punk and I knew my place. And prison wasn't that. I got into the place where prison wasn't that bad. Yeah. I got along well. You know, I had a personality. I didn't run with any gangs.

I wasn't considered a racist. A lot of people liked me. You know, you've seen Roadhouse. I showed up to new prisons and said, like, your soda pop. I thought you'd be bigger because the stories made me much bigger than what I was. And I didn't want to come home. Yeah. And that really, really scared me to come home.

And I didn't do well when I came home. I did awful when I first came home. What happened? home, they put me in a halfway house. Within a month, I was shooting up dope. And my brother was tried to rescue me and set me out the front row to dry out. They switched my probation. It didn't stick. I didn't want to be sober. I ended up getting another malicious wounding and an abduction because this person and I got to this huge fight. But they got me up real bad. I mean, I got up real bad. They had a top secret clearance. We were just drunk of shit.

And I ended up beating the charge. But then I went to what I, was familiar with Richmond because that's where they said nobody wanted me when I came home my mom didn't want me my brothers didn't want me my grandmother died the day before I came two days before I came home like you're not invited to the funeral we we don't know what you are all we know is what we've heard and we don't want you at grandma's funeral and that one mentally messed me up but I didn't but you don't understand that I come yeah I didn't feel like I was worthy to say goodbye to or anyhow right but it's still messes with you a little bit like damn

No, you know, wow, I am, I am everything that I thought I was. Even my mom doesn't, who loves me, who would do anything for my mom's strong. Yeah, she can't see it the whole time. No, she didn't visit. She sent money. My brother visit. Okay. But she did visit too, but she held me down the whole time.

My mom loves me to death. She would do anything. And our relationship is great today. So I ended up going to Richmond and I took a shot of dope. I left the note to this. Jason Brewer was on purpose. Here's my ID. Here's my social security card.

And I took the shot and cleaning ladies came in and found. me. And it was another one. This time I was in a coat, like a bad, bad cold, like touch and go, loss brought back. And when I came to, I had the thing down my throat. And it dawned on me, I was hooked to the bed. And it took a few days from going to be able to take the thing out. And I just, and she's like, why are you crying? I was like, I don't want to be a lot. I just didn't, I did not fit in this world. I didn't think I ever could fit in this world. But it turned out, you know, years later, it's not true. You know, but at that time, it was. It was probably the darkest days of my life because I'd get a job, lose a job.

Somebody walked by me, I thought they could smell. I thought they were staring at me. I always thought people were plotting on me. Like, to this day, I don't like a loud noise, and I can't stand anybody behind me. Like, thinking somebody's behind me right now will freak me out. I didn't know how to deal with it because I didn't know what was, I couldn't distinguish reality from the false. I didn't know if people were out to get me, and I didn't know if I could function. and I didn't know how to react to certain things.

I didn't know if you bumped me and didn't say, excuse me, am I supposed to punch you in your face right now? Right. I was in the gym the other day stretching. Some guy walked and he had more room and I have to debate my head. Do I go pull up on the same guy right now? What would a normal person do?

All that kind of weird shit. And this is, you know, I've been sober for three years, over three. I just celebrated three years October 7, you know. So I don't know. I got off track. Yeah, I do that. My bad. No.

You didn't get off track. No, I was just thinking about me. even me getting out after being in, even though, you know, I spent the last, what, nine years, it wasn't nine years? Yeah, last nine years in a low, you know, like people are still, people are like, oh, it was a low,

people are still getting, people, there's still fights. I saw one of the most brutal fights I'd ever seen in the low. Right. You know? Yeah. But, uh, I was going to say, and even the way you talk to each other in the low,

and we're talking about soft guys talking to each other. Right. You know, you know, I'm sure you know this. You stop saying thank you. You stop saying, Please, you're soft. She's saying, please. It's like, you know, let me get some coffee.

Yeah. You know, and so you think, oh, well, when I get back, you, you, you, over the course of that time, when you go back into society, you think, oh, I'll be fine. But you have no idea how aggressive. Now, I just thought it was being assertive, but it doesn't come off as assertive. It comes off as being aggressive to a normal person. And when you've got your other, your friends telling you, bro, you're super aggressive. And I'm like, I'm not, what do you mean,

They're like, like that. Yeah. And I'm like, like what? What are you talking about? And you have your eyes, your eyes still doing like, what do you mean? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And I'm not, I'm not an aggressive person.

You know, I'm not, you know, I'm not someone that's, that's ever that's going to be physical. Right. But they're like, it looks like you're going to attack me. I know you're not going to. Right. Because I know you or I think I know you. Uh-huh. But they're like, you're super, you come off aggressive and you, you know, and bro, you don't

say thank you. You don't say, please, you don't say, you know, you're like the best I've gotten out of you is, you know, I appreciate that. Yeah. Like, that's it. Good look. Yeah. Like, like, that's not normal, bro. You're not.

And I'm like, and they would say, like, you're not in prison. I'd be like, and I would think, I wasn't even in a real prison. Like, it was a low. It wasn't a tough prison. Right. And they're like, yeah, but they had that common. Yeah. Right.

People understand that. Yeah. Who has that coming? Right. People, but, you know, just like that. If you get. In prison. you probably had it coming.

Yeah. People aren't just randomly anybody. So something happened. Oh, yeah. Yeah. For sure. To me, but to me it's like, yeah, but that dude this, that they're like, you're justifying that a guy borrowed a book from somebody and lost the book.

And then told the other guy, yeah, well, I don't have your book. What do you want me to do? And then the other guy beat the dude down with a lock. You're saying he had that coming. Yeah. That's insane. Out here, that's insane. Oh, it's after they don't get it.

The kid The one person He was getting out on Monday He gave his TV to his homeboy After he sold it for two packs of cigarettes And when the guy was like, yo And suddenly on the yard like, yo Where his TV's like, oh man, my bad

I gave him to my homie He hit him in the artery in his leg And he died His parents came to pick him up on Monday Like oh he's That's all Yeah I don't think

You know it's funny I don't think a whole lot about prison anymore I don't I don't I don't, prison, I don't want it to define me, but it did take me a long time to understand what institutional life was. I thought it meant that I was a real hard ass when I came home. I didn't understand there's certain idiosyncrasies that I've developed from that environment that does still carry on to this day.

Well, you definitely have PTSD. You know, I mean, there's no doubt about that. I think probably anybody does to a degree. Right. And I think it's funny because there are sometimes where I think about prison, and I think that was an eternity ago. and then there are sometimes I think about it and I feel like I just got out right like you didn't just get out bro it's been five years and it's like but there are sometimes where I feel like that was that was that was yesterday and other times where I think that was that was an entirely different life yeah it was it was forever ago yeah it just it's I wish I could discern what or discern what that what why sometimes it's it's right it's very brief time ago and why sometimes it was an eternity ago I don't know what that is with the situation is but it's um you know but it is it is such uh such an interesting i think um uh you know like

it it forms it changes your personality in some way you know and maybe some guys it doesn't i don't know to me i felt like it altered me in such a to such a degree yeah that i just you know don't want to go back yeah yeah going back's out of the question at this point time. I don't even know if I could turn it over to be that person to get at this age and the way I feel now. Oh, yeah. I'm an old man, bro. I can't be doing all. I can't be going all their own. Although, you know, for your audience, you thought I was in my 30s. I'm 50. Well, your teeth are perfect. Because I had terrible teeth when I came home. And so I spent a lot of money getting my teeth.

Because that's one of the things I had a partial because they pulled them. Yeah. Yeah. It's like I had a routine cavity. But then I called a charge. They sent me to another prison. Then they sent me to another prison. And I did seven months, six months, seven months in the hole. And then they sent me to another prison. And then by the time they get to look at it again, it's been two years. So they jank it. Yeah. It's, yeah. You know, so my teeth went all that great. They're not doing root canals. And we're going to put a crown on that. None of that. Yeah. So I was going to say, I'm actually just in the process of kind of doing that now, starting to go to the dentist, get this done, get that done. Like I'm piecing. How long are you been home now? Five years. Oh, shit.

But it was. Okay. Yeah. It was. It's still fresh. Damn, babe. I just got off, I just got off probation a few months ago. Oh, I haven't been in trouble in almost 10 years, so I'm a little, it does get better. I promise you. Yeah, I mean, it's, I mean, how much better can it get for you right now, you big, you big diesel? Get out of here. Look at you, you're sexy beast with the perfect hair.

You got the podcast. You're famous. You got men stopping you on the street. Get out of here. Listen, my, I want to tell the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, so there's, Do you know who Bean Shooter is? No. You should, listen, when you, on your channel, when you start interviewing people,

you should interview this guy, bro. Beach Shooter? Oh, my God. He's hilarious. I'll hook you up with him. He's hilarious. But he did the, he did the podcast. Did I mention this on a podcast?

We just mentioned it the last time. I want to mention it again. It's worth it. Bean Shooter. He's on the podcast. And he's talking to me. And I guess at some point he's got the turkey neck, right? He's sitting there to some point.

He leans back. And you can see like a. a waddle and so somebody in the comment section says holy bat man holy bat what is it holy holy bat holy waddle bat or holy chicken neck bat man that's holy chicken chicken neck back man do you know what I mean I've been I didn't see the comment okay turkey neck oh turkey neck yeah holy turkey net Batman and to him and they leave that and he said to me he said bro I never I never Look at the comments. Unless it's on my channel, he isn't, if it's mean, I'd get rid of it.

He's, I'd delete it. Why? I don't know. He's, you know, just some people like that. For me to delete it, it would have to be something derogatory, probably towards somebody else. Right. Like, if somebody else says something derogatory about me, I'll be like, oh, yeah, that guy's a piece of shit. You know, to me, you know, I can't stand that.

You're absolutely right. I don't know what I was thinking when I said that. Anyway, but he said I looked at it and I thought he was said it was some woman and I thought He goes and then I went back and I looked at the video and I was like holy shit I had no idea that it was that bad This dude jumps on a plane flies to Columbia and gets a Get surgery cut it. You should see the surge right. They cut him here It's like a big Z and they do

Sorry, I'm trying to find the video. Oh yeah, bro. But to be honest, I think it, and I think he's shown one video since then where he's in a, he's in an elevator. At first he shows the surgery. When you look at the surgery, it's like, oh my God, this is like major surgery. But he posted a video recently where he's in an elevator with these two chicks that he goes to, that he, I don't know if he's keeping them in. You can kind of keep some just holding them in the basement. No, no, in Columbia. So, like, you, I guess you, he's dating him.

Okay, I don't know. You know. So he's in an elevator and he's like, he's like, oh, you can see him with the video showing himself. He's like, oh, look at the new jaw line. You're not, wait, you guys aren't, or you're not prepared for this. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

And he's like, and then he turns out. The girls are laughing and shit. Listen, he had both of them, I think they got bean shooter tattooed on, on their asses. Oh, yeah. Oh, he's. We got to happen back. We really have to have to have that. We didn't know enough.

We didn't know. This guy is like a Boston legend. Yeah. Okay. So he has that, he has that real thick Boston. Oh, yeah.

Oh, he's like, like, he's like famous, but it's like strictly in like, in Boston. They all people, yeah. You don't say his group,

he's got groupies like, and he, like he kind of reminds me of you. You know, you, you, I'm sorry, you kind of remind me of him. Also, this is,

and he's insane. Uh, I mean, insane in a way that you're not insane. Think of this guy. Listen, him. This guy got his teeth done only in the teeth. He's got diamonds, clovers. He's got crosses. Clovers. What's he rep in your world? Obviously, he's, I'm not, what am I say? Irish, Irish, because he's buffered. Yeah, but in your world, in the feds he couldn't do that without, without saying who he, that would mean, that would mean, that would be he's in that car.

Yeah, I don't, I don't know. I'm not, I really don't know. What does that mean? I read the Clovers is white white supremacy for sure Oh is it? Yeah Oh okay I didn't know that Irish pride Irish pride oh yeah

Well it doesn't matter He mean he was in prison He did oh was he How many times Oh my gosh this guy He did In and out Oh I mean

Three years here Seven year here Two years here five years here Four years here And this is to his whole life And then one day He's a daughter Yeah well his

He had a daughter And when he got out He just went I can't I just being a piece of shit It's not working for me Right You know you get to that point

where, and, you know, just like you, it may have gotten to a point. You get so old that you, or I think a lot of it has to do with age. You get to a point where you're like, the fuck am I doing? Yeah. Like, you know, kind of like the coward. You know what that point was? When I went back for that one year because I got my probation violation at 41 years old. And Deputy Hall, who was a rookie when I went in at 17, he's like, yeah, Jay, I'm,

because we were always cool. He looked like Michael Jordan. He's from North Carolina. He's like, yeah, I retired this year. And it dawned on me. I had done a career as he did a career, and he was retiring and getting a job as a sheriff down to some small town in North Carolina. Working on a second retirement. Yeah, and I hadn't even started my life yet.

And that was it. That was the last time I went to jail that year. That was it for me. And that's when I started combating the sobriety thing. And it took me quite a few years to get on top of that. And the cool thing about the sobriety thing, because I'm not a great example of it. Is that that that's where I started recognizing what fear is. Fear is not worrying about you punching me.

Fear is worrying about maintaining the job, being in a relationship, not being hard and giving back. So like, I feel like I've taken so much from society. Now I try, I always say thank you now. I always have endorsed for people. I always try to smile. And one of the funny things is people don't even know what to do with it. It's so disturbed out there right now. People are like, what are you doing?

Oh, society is so depraved. Yeah, they don't get it. They're like, why you, you know, it's weird, but I'm not going to stop. That, that's giving me a lot of freedom, challenging myself, my belief system, is trying to have an open mind and rid myself for these fears that it kept me in this prison. This self-made fear, the prison of fear is now opening up. And I feel like for the first time I'm becoming who I'm supposed to be, not what I thought I was for all these years, all the ugliness and dirtiness and things that that kept me from even

trying to be a human being. I get to be a human being today. What are you doing now for work? I've been so funny as we're pointing to this neighborhood. So I'm a project manager, but we do disaster really. So I started off doing it. I've been in the same company eight years. I'm writing tight LLC, but I solely work for one contractor. And I've been with, I'm not going to say his name because I don't, you know what I mean? But I've been with, and he knows them for eight years. So when I see all these ribs and shit, I'm like, oh my God, that's all because all we do is insurance claims. Yeah. So if your house burns down, we are, do you want, you to see my biggest payout ever? $67,000 for the skipping to job.

I, dude, when I started doing this and I made $2,000, I like, this was seven years ago, I, um, legit, money. $2,000 for one roof. It was a cedar shake roof. I was like, I'm rich. I had never made $2,000 ever, like, besides robbing somebody. But then I signed up a bunch of work and I became really good at it. it but um yeah and so I've been doing that for a long time and I went from doing hell storm work when storm work to trees through through the house to the straight

disaster restoration to so now mainly everything I do is is fires you know it's very weird I'm not you know money's not my master or anything like that but I'm sure still motivation when when I've never made more than you know 11 or 12 dollars an hour and I made 75,000 dollars my first year 156,000 my second, 175, my third, then stupid shit with COVID, and then last year, 2-11, like, I do really well, but I still

I didn't know how to manage money. I spend it like it's water. I should have a lot more. I did, as we were talking earlier, I didn't know how to invest in it. I was just so happy to have it. I wanted to just give it. I wanted to show all. I had an ego. Let me burn this. You know, playing cards for thousands of that. It was crazy.

But I'm now learning to, to manage it. I feel like my whole family in the world had a big jump because I came home at, you know, 42, a hot mess. It took me to 47 to even begin to think I could do anything correctly. And now at 50, all my stuff has changed. You know, I know what ego is now. I know what fear is and I can adjust to it.

It's funny. You really do need to talk to Vien Shooter. Like, he has such a similar story. Like, it's amazing how you can, it's amazing how quickly you can pull yourself up by your bootstraps the moment you just start doing the right thing yeah so crazy isn't that funny because you know you can there are these guys that will try and get clean and up and conjure up and get clean and and keep and it's like they keep doing the wrong thing their whole life and they're like I can't survive I got no money I got there this and then one day they say you know I'm just not going to be a piece

of shit anymore yeah and it's like suddenly everything starts to fall into place and you're like why didn't this happen before well you were a piece of shit for fucking 30 years and so nothing nothing worked out. It tends to not work out. And all that is, is maybe it might be a year or two of struggle. You know, like it doesn't come to come to me immediately. Nothing seems to you this worth of that. Right.

But after a couple years of just being a decent person, suddenly it's like God says, I'm just going to start throwing everything down that you need to survive. I'm sorry, to flourish. Just like that. I mean, not just because there's two years of struggle, or a couple years of struggle. But if you just do that, then everything starts to fall into place. in my mind you know we did that podcast you guys looked at

the one that was outside with the wind and stuff we did that over a year ago just dick around the back back of the house and from that he kept it I accredit being here today because I've never where are my wildsters I think I'd be sitting from Matthew Cox like you're and I know I'm not saying this to blow you up

because I was not to be me to Ian Big I don't know who he was like oh it's really nice to meet you that has to be by the way sorry that has to be a clip right that needs to be be a clip and we're sending it to Ian. Yeah. And I mean, I was nervous. I'd never done a podcast before, but he was like, hey, by the way, you can talk to Matthew? I was like,

get the fuck at it. I just left Ian Bick and I quit thinking about Ian Bick. I was like, Matthew Cod. And I'm like, calling my friends. I'm like, oh, bro. And I call him my mom, telling my wife, tell him like anybody else. Just kidding. So I was really pumped up to see because who did a president of B? He talking

to you? Who thought I could make a trip to Tampa to go do an interview? a podcast. And so now I believe that there's more to doing this. There's more to give and there's more to receive and there's more to produce. I mean, this, this, I haven't been excited to do anything in so long because I'm good at my job. Right.

And I make money off my job and it gives me self-worth, but I think there's more. I don't think I was just created just to just to go. And if I am just a project manager, great. But I'd like to be able to reach someone else and help them. That, you know, when you're a taker, you're a whole, I was a taker my whole life. for the first time I know what it's like to get and I would like to be able to take someone else out of that mental prison and I don't know if it's just by doing podcast talking or what we're going to do but this is like a dream it's not real it's not reality even though it is I can I'm touching you you're you're right here and I know you don't you don't seem to like the compliment I'm not you know I'm not you know I'm not blowing you up for you know reason other than it's true to me I don't it's that um you know although you and I have definitely different stories um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um Um, so much of your story and you're not feeling worthy, um, so much of that resonates with me, that, uh, you know, it bothers me when people say that or that you're inspiring or that,

you know, you know how that feels like people say, oh, you're so inspiring and I love what you're doing. And to me, I look back on my life and I see all the failures and mistakes and ups and just as shitty things I've done in life to now be in a position where somebody says, you know, you're an inspiration. I absolutely do not feel worthy of that. So I'm always like, yeah, yeah, all right, you know, like, ha, ha, ha, ha, I try and blow it off and get him to shut up as quick as possible.

Right. Because, yeah, I know it's going to upset me. Because I know it's not, you know, and obviously, you know, I don't want to sit here and cry. Right. I mean, I'm not embarrassed about it because if somebody's like, oh, you're crying, I go yourself, you know, I can give a shit. But, yeah, I don't want to sit here.

I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. I don't want to feel uncomfortable. My voice, you know, I don't think it's particularly manly. But I have no, you know, I have no, no napkins or anything. Tissue. Colby's no help at all. Your guy's sitting there. He's no help.

Kobe's doing a hang now. I was thinking about it. You know, all Colby's seen. And Colby has no problem, by the way. As soon as I, he's willing to sacrifice my, he's really to sacrifice. you know, um, thank you, you know, my, uh, reputation or virtue or whatever you want to call it for clicks, for views. That's all he cares about. He's like, oh, God, Matt's going to cry. This is going to be great. Yeah. A million views. Sorry. Like, so he, people saw it. So it bothers me.

You know what I'm saying? It bothers me. People say that because to me, I feel like I'm just trying to make a living, you know, I'm trying to make a living. But I, I do know that people get a lot out of it. That's why I, that's one of the reasons I definitely think you, you should do a YouTube You know what I'm saying? You should interview other guys because they're going to have, they're going to be guys like you that have story. That's the thing I like about the guy, the bean shooter, a bean shooter, because he's a lot like you. He jokes and laughs the whole way through, but he touches on some things that are just, you know, heartbreaking. Right.

You know, and he laughs and joke. I laugh and joke my whole story through. I laugh and joke about it because, you know, that's how I got through prison. So I got me, you know, I'm joking and I'm laughing. and you know like I'm trying to kind of keep laughing and keep a good sense of humor because otherwise you'd be you'd otherwise I'd want to commit yeah and I think laughter is one of the greatest dealers there is yeah you know and how but it's said man what a what a powerful view I really appreciate I can't thank you enough can't thank you enough you were great thank you for

coming he was all pumped up hey you guys I really do appreciate you watching the video do be a favor hit the subscribe button hit the bell so you get notified of videos like this comment in the comment section and share the videos. That helps. Please consider joining our Patreon. It's 10 bucks a month. We put Patreon exclusive material on Patreon. Also, please go to the description box and click on the links for Jason's, all of his social media accounts, and especially he's starting a YouTube channel. He's going to start interviewing people. He's going to start telling his own story in detail. We want to get him enough subscribers and enough watch time so that he gets monetized and his YouTube channel can.

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