Matthew Cox | Inside True Crime Podcast - Ex Crip's Last Interview Before Prison | Pac Man Viczz

Episode Date: December 9, 2023

Ex Crip's Last Interview Before Prison | Pac Man Viczz

While we're leaving, we hear g-bom, bomb, bomb. He's getting chased. I'm trying to get to the car because I know I have a gun in there. We're being chased. I'm in my head. I thought it was something. It's like, yo, if I could do this once, I know I could do it again. I didn't really learn my list.

So now you're waiting to see what happened. Oh, yeah, I'm just trying to tell them to hurry up and just go ahead and lock me up. I got expelled in ninth grade. first year high school went to an alternative school in roswell called independence and just quit school because i was way too far behind i was in the second chance program um in that class they didn't give you no credit so by the time you go to a regular school you're behind like three years you know what i just i just quit school got my gd you know what what were you getting in trouble for what like what are you doing to get in trouble i was just dealing with like a lot of racism

You know what I mean? Coming from a school, from the hood, you know, I didn't really deal with too much racism over there, you know what I mean? Even though I was like one of the only agents over there as well, the most I would hear is like, oh, Jackie Chan, flight, you know. Right. But once I got to Alfredo John Street, it was more racist, you know what I'm saying, blatantly racist. you know what i mean ching chong china man and shit like that you know what i mean and um after a while you get tired of that you know what i mean i you know i want to fit into you know what i'm saying like it's not like uh you know i'm a kid right i'm not i don't know about none of that

stuff that's going on you know what i mean i'm a kid so i'm trying to fit in you know what mean and uh i got into a lot of fights um and then i you know there would be kids uh getting picked on i didn't know how to fight and i would i would stick up for them getting trouble stuff like that but after a while you know the the principal started seeing what was going on and uh they wouldn't really do anything to me anymore you know what i mean like they would see like firsthand because i'd be like yo these things are raging they said this and that to me And they're like, nah, well, even though they did that, you need to keep your pool. But there was times where they've seen it happened.

And they caught it red-handed, and they'd be like, man, look, I'm supposed to be, you're supposed to be suspended again. But I've seen with my own eyes what happened, so I'm going to let you go. You know what I mean? And my parents, they became real cool with assisting principles and stuff like that, you know. because my parents were at the school every day because I was getting in trouble every day, you know what I mean? And at one point, it just seemed like I stopped caring, you know, and a lot of the teachers were racist too, you know what I'm saying?

And I'm not just saying that because I'm aging. And, you know, the first thing I'm going to say is they're racist. No, it wasn't like that. You know, there's plenty of teachers there that actually wanted me to succeed. you know like you and you but you as a kid you could feel the

genuinity you know what I mean but but some of them it wasn't like that it was like there was there was times where

like right now I could assume you know they can grab my hand throw me into the locker stuff like that you know what I mean

um like the reason why I got suspended from school was because you know I asked to go to the restroom he tells me you know, oh, another kid asked to go to the breast room, and he's like, go ahead.

I was like, bro, like, come on, man. Like, I just asked you, you know what I mean? Like, what's wrong with that? And he's like, nah, like, and he said, something slick to me. And I kind of spazzed out. I think that was like my last draw, threw the book at him. And then I got it. Okay.

And that got you in like a reform school, and then it's just. Yeah, well, they give you tribunal. It's like a court kind of thing to see if you can go back to a public school. So they said that I would have to do like a year or two of that alternative school thing. And I would have to pass the second chance program. But like I said, once you get into second chance program, you're already going to be behind because the classes that they give you, they don't give you no credits for those classes.

It's not like they teach you math. They don't teach you like, you know, ninth grade literacy. You know, literacy, they don't teach you none of that. They teach you accounting. They teach you, you know, classes that doesn't have credits at that time. You know what I mean? That wouldn't give you any credit. Right. So by the time you graduate a second chance, which takes about a year or two,

and then you go to the upstairs where they give you the actual classes, you're two years behind. So it just didn't make sense to me. At what point did you, like, what are you doing? Like, you can't drop out of school and stay in your parents' house. You have to do something for money. You have to start, like, I'm sure your parents were like, well, what are you going to do? Right. I mean, so, so yeah, I dropped out of school.

I don't know. You know, I grew up as an only child. I don't know if you heard that in the other one, but, like, I was just always lonely, right? You know, okay, so, like, when I was living in an apartment, you know, in the poorer areas, it was like, there was always something to do, you know what I mean? There's always something, like, we'd be out playing sports all day, all night, you know, whether it's hockey on the tennis court football just it's something to do you know but then when i moved over here it's like i'm isolated you know i'm just home stuck you know what i mean and then uh so i don't know what happened where i got in trouble doing something maybe coming in

late and uh i just ran away from home you know i ran away uh i stayed at uh one of my one of my friends house and his god brother you know he was a big time like dope seller so that's how i kind of got into it and seeing how fast that money came i was like yo i could do this you know right yeah and i mean i was like 14 15 making like 300 dollars a day and i'm like 300 dollars a day i could buy like two pairs of jordan's clothes Like, just little dumb. But it was, like, exciting, you know what I mean? Because it just happened so fast.

And it's like, I'm making debt every day, you know. So where does that lead? I mean, that leads to what, like gang activity? You know, well, my god brother, he was a gang memory. He was from the south side college park where pandas. He's from the south side. Fort Park, Haytonville,

Jonesboro, Riverdale, like those places. And growing up, as an Asian, you would hear about those places like,

oh yeah, those things are crazy if you don't want to be there, you know what I'm saying? Especially if you're a Crip, like, it's like blood territory, they,

they don't think right over there, you know what I'm saying? But he used to take me down there and I used to have a blast, you know what I mean? Like, we'd be smoking and just playing chess, like, like it was just normal, you know what I mean? Like, I was like, oh, okay, I mean, if this was a gangbanging, it was about I wanted, you know what I mean? And, you know, little than I know all that other stuff came along with it.

But from what I've seen, I was like, man, we're just chilling. What's so wrong about this? And, yeah, I was going to say there's, it's funny. you grow up like in the middle class area and you go to the projects and you're with a bunch of guys that are from the project like it's exciting right that's happening but you can hang out in front of my house for a whole week and nothing happens you know people walk by walking their dogs and go hi you go crying you know but there people are walking around talking themselves they're getting into fights people are well listen when I I was renovating houses and like you know

shitty areas, I would, you could just during the day, two guys get into a knife fight in the middle of the street and they're, you know, they're, they don't stab each other. They're just swinging at each other and yelling and screaming about, there's some guys walking down the street talking to himself, you know, you know, like it's, you know, you're when you're young, you don't realize like, oh, it's just really, this is a fucked up place. If you're 19 or 18 or 15 or something, you're thinking, this is hilarious. Like, this is, this is free entertainment. Right. Right. So I was like, yo, I kind of just want to be here. You know what I mean? So, you know, I spent more time over there for a little bit. But then I started seeing the actual downside of things. You know what I mean? People getting shot. You know, people getting beat up. People backdoor on each other taking, you know what I'm saying? And I'm like, yeah no I'm I'm straight you know and and when they first asked me to join the gang I was like I was like yeah I call you I can be a car but I never gave him a call you right yeah because I was like there's no upside here yeah yeah yeah because the dude was like you know he was like smokes this and he gave me a bamboo bomb to smoke weed with right and he's like man if you choke I'm gonna slap the fuck at you and I was like damn

I was like, I'm good. That's not exactly camaraderie. Yeah, I thought we were in wood. And, yeah, I just, you know, but eventually, um, we left there, came back to Gwynet. And in Gwynet, it was like a whole other gang, uh, which was like called Asian gangst group. And, uh, I was, uh, I was. was always intrigued by it though you know because even as a kid uh like i would always see it on the news and stuff like that so yeah i was going to say a bunch of newspaper articles yeah yeah yeah so

when i when i seen that i was like okay and this is where i'm from you know i was from there so i knew everybody so i was like all right whatever and then uh they got real drunk one day because one of our big brothers passed away and that's when they were like but you ready? And I was like not really. But they were like trying to feed me

out of this alcohol so by then I'm just leisure and drunk and they taught me into it that day. You know what I mean? And that's what happened. I mean it's what? How big or three? How old were you? I was 16. Okay. And you were saying it's

one of the biggest regrets. Yeah, I would say so, you know what I mean? Because nothing good came out of it, you know what I mean? When to court, I go to jail, I catch a case, and like 99% of the people turned on me. You know what I mean? Even was, they was even making up live, you know what I mean? Like, I'm always, I was always taught by my father that if you did something, something, just go ahead and take responsibility for us.

You know what I mean? But me, like, I'm kind of a smarter person where, like, if I know, like, me, I calculate my time before I even go do anything, you know what I mean? Like, okay, I'm going to go sell some weed. How much kind of time can I get for that? If I, if I, if I, if I get caught, all right, five, okay, if I get five and I'll do a third, okay, I could do that, you know, I mean, but Robin and killing, I can't do that, you know what I can't, I can't do 10, 20, 30 life sentences, you know what I mean? So I don't do it. So don't call me and involve me in that, you know what I'm saying? But people will involve you in it for no right. You know what I mean? So you're, okay, so you're basically in like this gang activity and that's essentially what is, what is that doing for you? Like, I mean, I know you're saying there's no

real, you know, nothing good came out of it. But there's got to be some kind of bit of it. It's just to say, I have a group of guys to hang out with that have my back when, in fact, I don't really need them to have my back. Or it's like, I got a better supplier. I have people that can help me move product. At that time, like I said, it was just because I was, you know, a only child.

I was a lonely kid. I was getting into a lot of fights in middle school and night school. And like, if I beat somebody up, they're just going to call their big brothers and jump me you know what I mean and I just hated that feeling like at one point I just wanted to be fear you know what I mean where oh you're not going to do that you know what I'm saying and like I wasn't going around starting shit you know what I mean it was just always these other people that came from out of state like New York and L.A. that they were just they just thought they were super tough and they was just going around picking on people you know what I mean and then

which you start, like, trying to stick up yourself, you know, they'll bring, and if you beat them up, they bring their brothers to jump you, and I was just tired of looking over my back, you know what I mean? So I just, I just, just try to get with a group of people with the same mentality as me, you know. So I guess that's, like, the only benefit, like, the only thing that benefited me. but I don't even look at that as a beneficial thing because most of the time it didn't even end up that way

like I was still fighting one-on-one you know what I mean you know so when did you get when did you I mean when did you get like your first like a case when did you get arrested when did that kind of

that was in 2012 even that even with that it was like it couldn't have been avoided you know what I mean because well how old are you 2012 I believe I was like

21 so in between 16 and 21 you're a member of this of a gang and you're just your primary job is selling you're a drug dealer yeah where are you getting where are you getting

your clients from different gas stations You know, I would go to, you know, the gas station that was at, I was going to a lot of car meets. I was going to the club. It was really, like, easy. People just call you. They just, they know you're selling drugs. They call you and say, hey, can you bring me this?

Can you meet me here? Can you? Yeah. Because, I mean, even in the camera video that they had of me, like, when I was in that gas station before the shooting has. Like the first thing I said when I walked in with, oh, I got tree, I got Molly, I got this, you know, I was young and wild, you know what I mean? I was young and wild, didn't care. You've never been in trouble before that? I have, I have, but it wasn't for a gang activity. I've been getting in trouble since I was 17 for selling weed. So what, I mean, what happens? This one, I'm saying.

saying like what like you get arrested do you go to jail for that just yeah for drug like one was the first like after you join the gang how are you getting how are you racking up criminal charges you go to sell somebody boom the cops jump out of a van like what happens like how does that no it doesn't work like that um i was just being stinked because you know once you join the gang it's like you just move reckless you know what I'm saying like you're selling drugs

and shit but you're riding in a car five fucking people deep in a fucking Honda you know what I'm saying you look suspicious and then we're parked now in an abandoned you know what I mean park

you're eventually going to get pulled over you know what I mean shit like that you know one time this dude he was just talking crazy about my mom this was when I was a juvenile though I just turned 17

no 16 I was 16 because everybody else they took that was 17 they took to the adult facility but I believe I was 16 at that time somebody said something about my mom we went over there with machetes and all that

he wouldn't call come out you know and he called the police we ended up leaving Even, they came, put us on the floor. It brought the dude back to, you know, I guess to see if that was us. I'd send us back in jail for that, you know, interrogated us and stuff like that. But I didn't do no time for that because I was a juvenile. They actually just let me go.

I don't even think I was put on probation. So 17, that's when I'm officially an adult. They finally hit me with my first sales case, which was possession of meth with intent. And at that time, I didn't even know what possession of meth was. I didn't even know what meth was. I thought it was speed. This guy told me it was speed, you know, or crank or some shit. How did that happen?

Uh, you know, at that time, all the Asian people, well, the big time Asian people, that was their thing, you know? And I guess this is before people started about, like, uh, finding out what meth was and stuff like that. Because I didn't know what meth was, you know what I mean? Unless somebody was like, yeah, methamphetamines, then I'd be like, dams. You know what I'm saying? But they didn't call it that. They called it speed and crank. So I was like, okay, speed, drink, whatever, you know what I mean?

And at that time, I was like 17, didn't know. You know, I've never heard of it. The only thing I've heard of was cocaine, maybe heroin. But I wasn't dealing with none of that stuff. You know what I mean? I was, it was weed and ecstasy, too, that I knew, you know? So I'm in the car with one of my big homies. He gets caught or we get caught because it's not even my deal.

You know what I mean? He leaves, and I'm stuck in the car. You know what I'm saying? I guess it was like an undercover thing. Anyway, he tries to tell the people that it was mine. You know, and I'm like, bro, I don't even know nothing about this drug. You know what I mean? Long story short, they went through his phone.

They found everything that he got in trouble for. You know what I'm saying? And they had to let me go. Um and then comes the 2012 case because everything else was it wasn't gang related

it was just me being stupid being pulled over with a little bit of weed and stuff like that minor position with weed and there I get that you were at the gas station, you know, but like what's the back story to why all of this, you know, unraveled? Like, what happened? Like, was there a, is there a story? It was, it's stupid because it wasn't even game related. Like, most of these things are. You know what I'm saying? You ever noticed that? Like, you really. look into it most of these things like somebody stole someone's tennis shoes and people are getting shot on no no no no this happened on fourth of july two mexicans drunk mexicans came out their car

see i had like a little girl that i was messing with at the time and uh to be completely to be completely honest with you man so me and my boy go is to the gas station to get those little sex pills you know I'm saying because we're like yeah it's sports in July we're going to party you know what I'm saying so we go in I see the dude that that got shot his cousin is in the gas station I accidentally bump into him and then I'm like oh yo my bread bro my bad he's like he's cool we're cool wait a minute what's that story you're saying the guy they got no no I'm saying you said you saw the guy that got shot what's that story first like yeah yeah I'm telling you because okay There was like two, three people, you know, from their side.

So when we go in... Whose side? On their side. And there was three people on our side. Yeah, it was three people on our side, three people on their side. So we don't know. Another gang? No, no, no, no.

They're just regular Mexican people. Okay. So we go in and, you know, I say the same thing that I always say when I go into a gas station. I got weed. I got vans. I got Molly. So, but somehow I, I bump into this guy. You know what I mean?

And I'm like, oh, whoa, my bad, bro, my bad. Like, but I got the weed. I got the, you know what I'm here? So he's like, ah, no problem. I say, no problem. So I'm like, okay, okay. So everything's cool. Boom, out of nowhere, the girl that, uh, that, that I was messing with bangs on the door.

And she's like, you know, you know, uh, they're trying to jump toe. They're trying to jump toe. I'm like, just, bitch, go back to the car because I don't want you to see what we're trying to buy. Right. So, so finally, the dude leaves, we leave, and out of nowhere while we're leaving, we hear gunshots, bomb, bomb, bomb.

So we walk out, and he's getting chased by like two or three Mexicans, you know what I'm saying? So I'm trying to get to the car because I know I have a gun in there, you know? So as soon as I get to the car, I just started letting off. I'm like, yo, we're being chased. I'm in my head. I thought it was something.

So I get to the car, boom, boom, boom, and drive off. You know what I'm saying? So you just fire your gun in their direction and take off? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But my intentions wasn't shoot them. my intentions was to just get the fuck like get the fuck away from me um so when uh we got back to the apartment the story was uh see the girl came out the mexican dude was like trying to get at her you know my boy was like you know just leave her alone she came with her the dude

started getting hostile you know i guess he was drunk it was fourth of july try to hit my boy My boy showed him the gun from his waistline, and he swarled again. So my boy finally pulled it out, shot him in the leg, and then you would think that would stop it, but the dude actually started chasing. I don't know. It's crazy, but, so we get away anyways, and I'm not thinking nothing of it because, Bro, like, he gave me a warning and shot you. You didn't die.

Like, that's how I'm thinking. We're okay. Yeah, we're okay. Like, this is something. It's just, just leave us alone, you know? I mean, so either way, like the cops got your tag number off. No, no, no. See, this stupid guy had a fucking neon green Honda Civic hatchback that no one else.

No one else on Jimmy Carter had. So when we get to my apartment, because I only live like two minutes from there, I was like, bro, what you should do is leave your car in the next apartment down. I'll pick you up. You just sleep in my house. He's like, nah, I got to go see my girl.

I'm like, bro, you're the dumbest motherfucker. That car is going to stand out. Right. So boom. He's like, no, I got to see my girl. I'm like, all right, whatever. So he takes his car down Jimmy and gets pulled over. And initially, they only charge him with positioned marijuana with a tent and position to fire him by convicted of them.

But on my paper, when I got it back, he said that he immediately wanted to talk to gang task force. you know so it became a big issue and plus we were being watched because uh some other aged dude from california he was a crypt too uh he got caught with a lot of gun like i guess he was trying to sell them so he turned into a confidential uh yeah with with um and uh said that he would get a lot of guns off the street including from other us and that's why we were being watched throughout that whole thing so and we it was just bad timing and it was just stupid period it's a good period but those Mexican people came to court and testified that you know that was our fault and stuff like that I don't know

it's crazy so okay so what did you get charged for you? with. I got charged with three counts of aggravated assault, one count of aggravated battery, possession of firearm by convicted felon, two counts of gang activity, and possession marijuana

went intent, because when they raided my house, they found, this is how petty they are, they found baggy of like nothing in there, but they try to charge them with possession of what intent and possession of firearm by convicted felon. So, but none of those, none of those stuck, they just try to, you know, just give me as much as I could, or as much as they could to, you know, hopefully some stick.

Well, how did you get arrested? They show up at your house, knock on the door politely, and ask you to come downtown? No, they came with flashbangs. They came with M16. They came with riot shield. They came with snipers. They can't. The only thing they didn't bring is the. tank you know what I mean and Gwinnett they have a tank you know what I mean that's the only thing that they did it bring were you walking were you walking out to your car or they'd make you kicking the door

see what happened was my little brother I think he was supposed to come get some tree like some weed from here or something and he's coming in and he's like bro he calls me he's like brother's police everywhere in your apartment I'm like I mean there's police

everywhere in my apartment all the time so he he parks and he's like nah bro they're like right there at your apartment you know what i mean and uh i was like all right let me get everything at my apartment so i get all the guns i get all the drug and run to my uh my neighbor's house and i'm like bro just hold this from you know so i give it to him the whole time i didn't know that they had snipers watching this whole thing me going to the other guys apartment so I'm not thinking none of it

five minutes later he's like yo they're coming so when he said that I'm like all right we need to get the like people are asleep and shit

I'm like everybody get the fuck up because we got to get out so we start running out we start running out and that's when they're already coming they will ride you and stuff like that

laying it's on the floor okay so they handcuff everybody take you downtown you or everybody goes downtown no I was the only one that they took they took me to the uh Jim and Carter police proceed pre police priest I actually me and the girl that I was uh they charge you with everything I mean do you get bond or you see a lawyer when I get there they give me they didn't give me a bond I spaz out some okay when when they when they when they when they locked me up I had about two grams of molly on me and I had five then and see I didn't know what they were rating my house when you knew they were coming why did you have anything on you see I didn't know that they were coming for that because like I said I'm stupid I'm in my mind I'm

thinking no one got killed no one got you know self-defense you know go look at the tape you know when you're on drugs you just think stupid you know what I mean right so when they when they were coming up I was thinking more it was like okay maybe it's because they think I'm selling drugs at my house you know so I had five grams of molly no I have five zans and two grams of molly and I popped it right before they could even get me. So when I got in the gym, I was going ape shit, you know? And they threw me in the junk tank, brought me out the junk tank. So they finally put me in, like, where, like, it's like holding still, holding still, holding

and then it's like, okay, from here you're going to get your fingerprint. From here, you're going to take the picture. From here, okay. I look to my left and I see my coat offended and I see the picture on the thing and says keep them separated, you know what I mean? But both of the doors are open. So I'm trying to get to him, you know what I mean? Because I'm like, you know, I got to get over there.

Talk to him, no, click while I'm going over. I mean, I don't think that's going to do any good. At this point, he's already done all the talking. He needs to do that's how you're, that's why you're there. By the time I get over there. No, no, no, no. He didn't tell. it was another guy they got caught with the car oh okay i thought that was the guy you were talking

but they wanted you separated from another guy right right right right so um i try to go talk to him the police catch me i start spazzing out doing something they beat me up in gubernant county jail there's actually like a lot of lawsuits about this that where they bring you into this back room were no cameras and they just beat the living shit out of you you know what i mean and i could have sued them too but i just you know i was just already happy to be out so i just didn't even pay no mind but they beat the shit out of me and then i um they sent me to the mental ward because they thought i was like just i i had mental health and i probably did because think about it bro i took five grams, or two grams of Bali and five,

that's not in my right mind. You know what I mean? So they took me there. I was there for about seven days, going crazy. My lawyer came, well, court-appointed lawyer came to see me.

He's like, are you going to hire anybody? I was like, yeah, yeah, I'm hiring somebody. He goes, well,

they're trying to give you 40 years. So I'm like, fuck. So I call around to, the mother and my kid call around the certain other people and they're like bro you're on the fucking news right now like things is not looking good to you

you know what I'm saying so I'm just depressed but at the same time I kept my head up because I'm reading all these charging and I'm like bro nah like a lot of these ain't gonna stick and even if it does

like the most I'm looking at is eight you know what I mean so I'm like just trying to prepare myself that I'm gonna do eight year You know, and for some reason when we go to preliminary hearing, well, I paid, I gave my lawyer $50,000. And I had one of the best lawyers in Gwinnett County. His family is the founders of the Gwinnett County Bar system. So when anybody wants to become a lawyer, in the county of Gwinnett, they have to go through my lawyer, you know what I mean?

And at that time, my judge, his son was trying to be a lawyer, and he and my lawyer had to swore him in to be a lawyer, you know what I mean? So this guy was really up there, you know what I mean, especially in Gwinnett. But anyway, we go to preliminary hearing. I get almost all my charges drop. I get the aggravated assaults drops. I get the gang activity drop. aggravated battery drop, I get,

the only thing I had left was the possession of firearm and possession wouldn't sit. Yeah, that's a hard one. That's a hard one. Right, right, right, right. They got on film firing the weapon, right? Right, but then three months later down the road, they indict me. So I have to face those charges once again.

They indict you in the state indicts you, or is this federal? No, state indicts me. So I had to go through all the process again. It lasts for like three years. And then finally, the day that we're supposed to pick the trial, the judge comes up to me, well, my lawyer comes to, comes to me with the plea saying four years of house arrest or 18 months in jail.

But he was like, before you take the four years, this prosecutor, she fucking hate you. just you know what I'm saying she's gonna find any reason to lock you up and even if you do right for three years and you fuck up on that last year you're gonna do four years of prison so I was like all right I'll just take the 18 so I took the 18 months got out and I guess they're still looking looking for you know where'd you do where'd you do the 18 months uh-o chris state prison okay are those the pictures you sent me yeah The first one, I think, with the white and blue shirt.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's like Achi State prison. All right. You know, and that's another thing I want to say when Panda was like, you know, oh, man, any people are food. No, the fuck they're not. You know what I'm saying?

At least not me. Right. This is all how you handle yourself, man. You know what I mean? Because they say the same things of white, white people. But there's a lot of white people that I know in there that have gone to fuck in. You know what I mean? And you was not fucking with them. There's this guy named a, listen, he was a ghost face there, but uh, Ramsey. He did a lot of my tattoos. That's some

guy you don't want to fuck with. You know what I mean? So, yeah, I don't know what type of time he was on. To me, when I was looking at his videos, he looks real sweet. You know what I'm saying? So I see him getting extorted, you know what I mean? But not me. You know, at one point, you could ask anybody at Autry State Prison. If you was in, you were checking in with me, man, for sure. I also think, and it also depends on if you're useful. You know what I mean? Like, like, if you're, you know, like, I taught the real estate class.

Like, everybody wanted to be in my class. You know what I mean? Like, everybody wanted to, you know, they needed, or if you're doing legal work, there are guys that do legal work. Like, nobody bothers them. why because I'm doing eight guys legal work on the compound like those eight guys are like don't fuck with that dude he's doing my legal work you know so I mean it depends kind of on your use yeah you're absolutely right you know absolutely right because with me I somehow was getting

all the cigarettes in you know what I mean right and this is one of time when nobody had cigarettes so you know I was feeding feeding everybody you know what I mean like you You know, so of course, I'm not saying I was the hardest one out there, like, you know, or either the craziest one. I had 18 months, man. I'm not trying to get into it with you. Right. Try to pick another five years. Right, right, right.

Oh, you've heard those stories. Guys come in with 18 months. They end up, they end up, you know, getting into a fight or sticking somebody. The guy falls down and dies. Next thing you know, they got 10 more years. You know, that just happened to one of my brothers, man. I forgot where he was at. But he was rolling with the Mexicans, man.

They just caught a body. But luckily, luckily the Mexican, he already had a life sentence, so he just claimed the body, you know what I mean? But, yeah, man, it gets real reckless in there, bro. So you, I mean, you got out, go to a halfway house. You get out to a halfway house, start over. No. we'll see at that with that charge they wouldn't send me to the anything like that I just had to

max out because it was a violent charge and there's only 18 months nobody nobody halfway houses don't want you no they didn't want me um and then so when I got out I was still stuck you know when you get out the state prison it's like so much going on and I came out worse I feel like came out worse you know there was no being humble for me yeah you know what i mean um yeah i can see i just came out a savage yeah you're angry you're pissed off you want to right right and then it's just like yo if i can do this once i know i could do it again you know i didn't really learn my lesson i was in there smoking cigarettes living i had three phones in there i was just making money you know really learned my lesson i feel like you know well a couple years after i get a gun charge in

fulton county i was you know i was with my baby mama i had my kids with me uh i guess i was still being watched you know what i mean by the same people that locked me up but this is in a whole another county now because i moved to fulton county and um he uh he uh he said that uh you know They've been watching me. You know, they've been watching the traffic coming in and my house and stuff like that. So one day we were going on a vacation to Biloxi, and they pulled us over. As soon as we crossed the border from Fulton County, the Blenac County, they pulled us over, and they found a gun. My baby mama said it was her, but she messed around and told them that, oh, yeah, I know that she, she,

kind of has that gun you know laying around and stuff like that's anyways they locked me up for um and well i i don't understand she she said the gun was hers but then she said that it was yours no she said that i know that i had like she has it in her house so it's like you knew oh okay you knew so it was constructive possession yeah constructive possession yeah and that money And that's such a fucked-out charge, bro. It is. It is. It is.

It is. I mean, I get it. I get it. You know what I mean? But I don't know. It wasn't like I was looking for trouble. I was with my kids. You know, I'm trying to protect my kids.

You know what I mean? But I get it. You know, I made those decisions in the past where I lost my gun rights and stuff like that. But I'm just have to move smarter. You know, but. uh so with that um i go to court they dismiss my charges the prosecutor tells me hey uh you know i'm gonna do you a favor i'm gonna dismiss these charges but you got to be careful because the agents that are keep coming to your court for uh court kicks they're trying

to take it to the feds you know so that day that same day i took all my stuff and i moved straight to California, you know what I mean? And, um, I'm in Georgia. Okay. Okay. Sorry. Go ahead. After a year and a half, they put out a warrant on me. I get into a car accident in Arizona. And I'm somewhere in the desert somewhere. I don't know where I am.

I call the towing company. They're like, well, I don't know where you are. I call the police. So I called the police, and he's like, okay, well, we're on the way. So they get there. First thing they do is run my name. And he's like, I'm Mr. Kim, we're going to have to lock you up. And I'm like, for what? He's like, man, you got a warrant.

And I was like a warrant. And then I'm like, from where he's like ATF. I'm like, H-E-F. What the fuck? But I already knew what time it was, you know what I mean? So they locked me up. They take me to Florence, Arizona, I believe, first. Florence, Arizona.

Then they moved me to Oklahoma. Then they bring me to, like, a holding facility in Atlanta. You know what I mean? And through that time, it was hard because when I was in Arizona, they're like, yo, no, you're going to get five off the muscle. When I got to Oklahoma, they're like, when I got to Oklahoma, they're like, bro, you should be worried about armed career criminal.

Oh, yeah. That'd be 15 for you, right? Right, right. And I'm like, well, they didn't. I got aggravated assault. So they're thinking five years because you had drugs and a gun Because a career, I'm sorry, a felon in possession of firearms is three years, mandatory minimum. But if you have drugs involved, it becomes five.

And if you're armed career, if you're a career criminal, then it's 15. Right. But see, I didn't have any drug. I just had a, I just had a firearm. Okay. But it also went with your criminal history as well. and um i was just worried because i had i had a violent charge and then i didn't know because you know i had three counts of aggravated assault at at the same time but i didn't know if

they separated those or used that as one you know if it happened on the same day they uh they finally told me yeah that's actually counted as one right and then and then it was uh for some reason all my paperwork and said possession would intent to sell but really it was actually a simple possession you know what I mean so they had to knock that off and then one of my charges they couldn't count because it happened when I was 17 and I was like 15 years but like over you know what I mean so yeah I mean I got blessed with that too you know what I mean so what happened well my um my guideline came out to like 32 to 38 or something like that well no I was on criminal criminal category four but they dropped me down to a three because a lot of my shit was just like

misdemeanor marijuana charge it you know what I mean yeah so they just took those off and sent me back to a criminal category three my uh my sentencing guideline came out to 30 months to 38 months and he went a little under and gave me 27 months. You got a fair prosecutor. I had a fair judge. Okay. I'm going to say.

Something's, yeah. I had a really fair judge. So, yeah, because usually they're not knocking anything off. They're trying to boost everything up. Right. Did you have a federal public defender? No. And that's

another thing. Okay, now if I ever caught a fed charge, I would use a federal defender. Yeah, I was going to say, bro, they're, you know, they're good. And like, the ones I've had have all been good. Right. And I spend $30,000 on a lawyer. The only, the only reason why I used him was because he knew about my case. He's the one that got it dismissed in my state. but when it comes to the bend bro he was cussing me out like oh don't listen to those people telling you that

I'm like bro okay let me ask you something if you were facing whatever and you were fighting for your life or you just lay down all day or read books trying to see me like what what can help you and he was like oh yeah you're right you're right you're right

and I'm like bro like and it's crazy because everything I told them was gonna happen happen you know what I mean I was like yo my guideline is going to be right here you know

just asking before I get a little under you know what I'm saying I'm not asking for too much he's like no you're gonna get a year in a day you'll be out

I'm like man you're trade you're selling me a dream and then after after a court you know I ended up cussing them out you know what I mean

and uh I was just like bro I could have done way better getting a public defender than you know what I mean just paying you $30,000

I was wasting my money in. 30 grand to plead guilty. Right. Listen, I paid 75 grand to plead guilty. In the feds? In the feds. Yeah. It's just stupid.

Stupid. Yeah, it's definitely not worth it in the Fed. You know, in the state, maybe, you know what I mean? Because you could kind of pay your way out of certain things, but in the Fed, there's no paying nothing out. There's more negotiation than there is in the Fed's. Right. right right right and it just depends on who you get you know but my my public or my federal defendant he was he was just fire fire they don't remember his name calling garrett is watching this man

oh so calling garrett so what happened so where'd you do that time in the fact uh eight uh i did 27 what no where oh you USP Atlanta. Oh, okay. Yeah, USP Atlanta was sweet. You know, we had, like, literally there was like at least two phones in every door or every girl, every cell. At one point, well, I can't even say at one point because there was no point in time

where if you got caught with a phone, you're going to the shoe. The only time you're going to the shoe is if you got caught with a knife. or well you know so the thing about like the pins like they're trying to keep these guys from stabbing the guards you know they're trying to keep them from having each other and the guards like like so something petty

they're not petty you know you go to a low or a camp it doesn't matter what you have you're going to the fucking shoe you're in trouble right they're gonna you know but in the they got bigger the COs have bigger problems to worry about when you're in a pin right right right and it was like that it was like that um you know when i was in the feds i was on uh i was on gang time over there and you know you would have like s i don't know if you know what s i s is of course s i s when come to us and be like you know if you just you know

stay calm about this situation i let you get away with this situation know it you know it's it's crazy because it's like i can't say like inmates ran the jails but they kind of did they kind of did in a way you know to be but they could dictate how certain things go you know and and and not go so you got out on that charge i got out so i was on probation for three months but i mean no no three years uh i was doing good man you know i got i got i got i I got out there during COVID, so it wasn't no drug test or anything like that. And then out of nowhere, a year or two later, they go back to doing codafone, where you have to call in every day to see if you have a drug test.

You know, at that time, I didn't think we were ever going to do that. You know what I mean? So, boom, they called me out of nowhere one day. He's like, you take a drug test. I take a drug test, I take a drug test, fell from marijuana. And then he's like, I well, we're just going to put you all class to

And ever since then You failed the test You failed the test Right I mean it was still going good for a while And then last Christmas Like I had some family come over And

We went to the mall Well yeah I took them to the mall Got pulled over they had a whole bunch of stuff on them, which I didn't know, which I should have been more careful about, but these were like my little nephews. They were like 14, you know. In my head, I just didn't think they would have that type of stuff on them.

They had guns on them. They had drugs on them, you know. But, I mean, luckily they all took accountability for it. It was all found out of their persons, you know what I mean? But still, they looked at it as a probation revocation. took me back to court. Even the judge agreed that didn't really have nothing to do with me.

You know what I mean? So he threw all that out, just violated me for another dirty. So he put me on house arrest. That's what I'm all right now. Somewhere along the line, I fail again, and that's what I want for probation,

revocation for a distance. But really... Sorry. I was going to say, I have a question. What happened with the panda thing? We never talked about that. Oh, Panda, man. Take this so.

What happened? Like, you know, at during that time, I was a little kid, you know what I mean? But I know about the story, you know what I mean? And he just, like, I was watching a interview with how he said he came back. And he was in the hold and cell with four of him. And he's like, what, do y'all either want to fight one-on-one or do you want me to just beat the shit out of all, y'all? He's full of shit, bro. He's full of shit, you know what I mean?

But, yeah, you know. What happened at the, what was it, Chili's or Benigans? What was it? It was a TV. Oh, TJ, okay. What happened? Is that basically what happened? You were, yeah, you know.

And his chicken just got killed, you know what I'm saying? I wouldn't say that was bullshit because that's what really happened. What I'm saying is how he just tried to act hard, talking about, oh, when he went to the jails and, like, he punked out all that. He beat one up and three of them went to the door banging for help. Like, nah, that didn't happen for sure. He was quiet as a mouse when he got into that holding cell, you know what I mean? and he's been in hiding we don't know who that dude is

we didn't to be honest we didn't know who that dude was I seen a clip somehow like on my Explorer page and I was like you know watching and it said oh yeah Panda I'm a blood from Atlanta so I know a lot of bloods from Atlanta so I

I was like who is this bro so I sent this thing around they're like I don't know who this guy is so finally somebody checks me back and was like Oh, bro, that's, you know, Woo, TGA Friday, you're a big homie. You know what I'm saying?

So I was going to say, like you said, that was before your time. Right. It was before my time, but we were alive, though. We were just young, you know what I mean? But we heard the stories about it. You know what I mean? We heard the stories about it.

And if you know who, if you know who the guy is, we call a big bolo, the one that actually killed his people, And, oh yeah, another thing What Panda was saying Oh yeah, they're in their sucking dick You know, Asian people are of food Asian people are prey

No the fuck they're not Only people like you are prey You know what I'm saying Because my big home being in there God damn bro I wish I could show you pictures and shit This guy has like 30 net bags Full of food

You know what I'm living great I mean like the guys in the You know I don't I was going to say, the guys in the medium and the guys in the, you know, the Asians that I knew in the medium and the, and the low security, like, nobody bothered them. The guys in the medium, nobody bothered them. The thing about the Asian, I mean, that I noticed, the thing about the Asians that I notice is that they're willing to fight right away. Right. You know what I'm saying? I don't know if that's just because they've been fighting their old lives or what, but they're willing to fight. The other thing I notice about Asians, I mean, not the, the stuff you're telling me. me, right? Because it's mostly, you know, gang stuff. But Asian criminals, you know, that I've met are usually pulling off like big time scams or or big time operations. Like I know you're saying, no, no, I was kind of just selling, you know, at a small level. I was just, you know, but a lot of these guys are like, they're importing tons of, you know, they very quickly seem to move up and do

much more complicated operations. Oh, so. But, you know, but, you know, Panda, you know, that's not. You know, you guys were, it was just more, you know, gang related. Yeah, Panda.

You know, Panda, I'm no measure. They're not in fact there anymore. You know what I'm saying? I'm not glorifying this life. I'm not glorified this life at all. You know what I'm saying? but they just haven't been a factor since forever, you know what I mean? Well, I think, I think that, you know, you're talking about Asians and, you know, as crips and bloods, you know, in those gangs.

But, I mean, you know, you got a few of them, like, in the triads and those types of gangs in California, like, they're massively huge. But they're big into stuff like, like human trafficking and, you know, you know. You know, smuggling in humans or, what is it, you know, importing, you know, heroin and stuff like that. Like, those are big operations, but they're in California. And they're all working together. Like, you guys are at a gang level, a street level. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it's true. You know, so I think it's important to differentiate those two factors. You know, you're saying that in the Crips and the blood, like, the Asians aren't really a huge factor. but, you know, in a massive, where you put them all together, they're doing some serious stuff, so. For sure. But those, but that's like the triads out in California. Yeah, for sure.

So now you're waiting to see what happens with your probation? Oh, yeah, I'm just trying to tell them to hurry up and just go ahead and lock me up. What are the rest of my probation? Just quash it? Yeah, I mean, you know, a lot of people, they're like, you know, like, I used to say, if I didn't need to go to the halfway house, like, I wasn't getting out to anything. I had nowhere to go. So I needed to go to the halfway house. I always told people, I'd rather have just done the time in prison. Like, I would have rather walked out. I would have done more time in prison if I could have skipped the halfway house and skip probation. The problem was I had no money. So I don't have any choice but to go to, go to, go to the halfway house so I can work and save money. Like, I had nowhere to go. If it weren't for that, I would have just said, I would have been like,

I just let me stay in prison. Let me just, I'd rather do another year than do four or five years of paper. Right. And me, yeah, I just, you know how it is like with us, you know what I'm saying? You rather just get your probation out the way, man. Especially because, you know, my probation is only until December 10th. I do not want to go to court. and then for them to be like,

well, let's extend your probation. You know what I mean? I'd rather just go up there and be like, look, before you say anything, let me turn myself in. Because I'm just tired of being probation. I'm on an ankle monitor. It's just crazy.

Yeah, I'd rather just go to jail. What's your probation officer? I mean, sorry, what's your, yeah, what's your probation officer saying? Or did they give you, did they give you a public defendant? Yeah, my public defender is the same public defender that helped me out last time, you know. So he's fired.

He was like, man, I don't see them doing all that. He was like, I don't see them. I see them just, yeah, that's what I'm saying. He says, he says, I don't see them doing that. I see them just cranking up your treatment. But I don't see them doing that. I see them either because my probation officer keeps saying. rehab. You know what I mean? But if you send me to rehab, rehab is for six months. I get off

December 10th. You'd rather go to jail for 30 or 60 days. Right, right. Why do I have to do rehab for six months when I get off probation one month? You know what to me? Doesn't make it. So what are you going to do? What are you doing for work? What are you going to do for work? What do you mean? When I get out? Yeah. Well, me and my, me and my boy got a jewelry company that we're actually starting now. We're actually trying to take it to overseas to Koreans because we know like a lot of like Korean and stuff like that, like hip hop artists and stuff like. Yeah, I don't know if you know about like Jimmy Boy, Ben Baller and stuff like that over here. and Johnny Day.

That made like custom pieces, grills and stuff like that. Well, they're doing really good, but we're trying to hit a different market in Korea to actually try to do that over there. My father was from a wealthy family. My mother was from a loving family, you know, and they were actually not, we weren't allowed to see each other. They kind of like, this was like a secret, you know, rendezvous, secret love, love affair. and it came along, but then it ended up not working out anyway, you know what I mean? But yeah, so

I was born in 19709. So it was like fairly soon after the Vietnamese War. The Vietnam War ended in 1975. My dad was a part of the military over there and like my mom was forbidden to even see him. But he would like sneak away and they would have their little run of you. And then I happen when you say the okay so the so basically they were like fleeing do they were they fleeing communism or well at that time well at that time they were still like dealing with the aftermath of okay right like my dad's family was from a very wealthy family right and they basically just took everything yeah I was going to say that's not going to work out well yeah you just went down to zero um so they were just trying to figure out a way to survive because I mean

they were going in there just basically murking everybody i mean you know you're the losing side it's kind of like that's how war war is you know the winning side takes the spoils um so my dad um escaped first to america when i was conceived right and so then after i was born uh he had already made it to america and then he sponsored us so then me and my mom escaped on a boat when i was six months old, picked up by a Chinese fishing boat, and I was in a refugee camp in Thailand, so I was probably about one and a half years old before I finally made it to America. So we were in a refugee camp for a year. Then we made it to America. Soon after that, my sister was born. Okay. So I have a younger sister, two years younger than me. But then about when my sister turned

one, my parents split. So my mom. Where did they relocate to that? Like, did they hit California No, they were here in Georgia. Oh, well, we're here in Tampa. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they were, so they came to Atlanta. Wow. Like they went all the way across the country. Well, I think, yeah, because I think my dad was sponsored through a church.

Okay. So he got here and I guess it was based here in Atlanta. Okay. So he was over here working in a, you know, Chinese restaurant as a dishwasher, you know. And when we got here, you know, we were living very poor, you know, Section 8, you know, and very low income. And then, you know, I'm really kind of, you know, my mom and my dad's, the family's always had beef, you know.

So there were a lot of members of my dad's family that were already over here that already didn't like my mom. So my mom was already like, you know what, screw this. And she walked out on him with $500 in her pocket and me and one arm, you know, not in a country she didn't know without knowing the language, you know. But so, but my father actually raised. my sister. So I have a sister, but we literally were raised completely separate. Okay. You know, so my childhood was basically, you know, poor. My mom worked two jobs during the day, sold purses at

night, you know, so I'm on the street. Like, I remember coming home from school, kindergarten by myself, like, you know, first grade. Like that's a key kid. Yeah, you know, I, I just basically learn how to take care of myself, you know, and it wasn't like my father wasn't around. Like, you know, I would still see him. I knew he's my father, but it was on like a visitational, but I would see him once a month for a weekend or my sister would come down once a month

for a weekend or something like that, but he wasn't really there as a father figure, you know? So, I mean, where did I, where was I out? I was in the streets, you know, and being in the streets and then, you know, all black, impoverished neighborhood, you know, we were looked at as food, you know, picked on or beaten up.

So, you know, me and my buddies that were, I made that we're also Asian, you know, just decided that we're just not going to be prey, you know, so we banded together and, you know, and that's, those were my, those became my brothers. Those became my, my father figures and we had each other's back. I would, I would kind of compare it to like, you know, like a Navy SEAL unit. You know, you got to trust that this guy behind you is going to be looking back there so that you can't, because you can't look back there. Right. You know, so these guys became my brothers, you know, and, uh, we, took care of each other. Is this like

an established gang or you're saying no, this is like eight or nine of us or is this like, hey, no, this is like a no, this is definitely an established gang. We were bloods. Okay. And we were bloods at a time that Bloods wasn't, Lil Wayne wasn't a blood yet.

You know, but you know, so in Georgia, most of the African Americans were black gangster disciples, you know, and so we chose to rival that. you know and plus we're not black you know what I mean so we chose to rival that so you know a lot of the conversations we got into were with a lot of black people you know

until we earned our own respect you know that they and and respect comes very easy I even tell my kids I was like you know once you are in the fight you won because it doesn't matter what the outcome of that fight is the fact that you're willing to be in it automatically means you one because you just earned that respect that they know that he'll go he's going to go it's just not going to go easy it's just you know it's it's not going to happen like that you know so that's what we that's what I had to do day and day out but my whole life is like that you know have always been like earning respect you know well were there any I mean only because I've I've researched for another story where like were there any triads in atlantic or they mostly in New York

and California. The triads are very, very small population. Chinatown here, the Chinatown in Atlanta is very, very small. So the Asian gangs that you usually receive would be like either the third world countries. There'll be the Vietnamese, the Cambodians, the Laos gangs, right? And we networked with each other as well, you know, because sometimes we needed a band together as well. but yeah we didn't really run into a lot of the triads like that um yeah i'm just curious because i mean i know that their concentration isn't is in like la i'm sorry is in california and new york

but i was just wondering right and plus i mean the difference with the triads too is the triads basically kind of like just went over their own people like the like you know like these tongs they would like basically feed off of their own people you know they would extort from Chinatown You know, they're not going out there and doing extortion on Walmart. You know what I mean? No, so like, but with us, we didn't have that. So literally, we had a kind of carve out our own niche. So what was that?

Well, we also had like, we did some extortion to as well. But it was like, you know, burglaries, robberies, stealing cars. And this is how old are you? I was like 14, 13 years old. I mean, I probably was familiar with a gun in my hand by the age of 12. you know like I said like my juvenile record was probably like 30 40 burglaries that they finally decide to just condense into just one when I turned the day after I turned 17 it was charged as adult you know and then it was it was just it was extensive you know and it was it was kind of like

sloppy you know what I mean it was like smash and grab we would literally take a sledgehammer to the front of a business run in there and grab a stuff I mean we were not really coming up on like some really really big money you know what I mean But it was the fact that like, you know, we're young kids and and I was going to say, listen, eight VCRs at, you know, 50 bucks a piece split between a few guys is 150 bucks a piece. You know what I'm saying? 150 bucks to a 14 year old is a lot of money. It absolutely was.

And the thing is funny is because like my crew, my crew would literally go to church's chicken, get an eight piece box. And each person would get a piece of chicken and a bowl of rice. And that's how we would, you know, we would some of our money to get. yeah, they're an AP boss, British chickens back then was like $5.99, you know, and we could feed the old crew. But definitely, yeah, we were drugs.

Even in Atlanta now, I mean, if you go looking up the line of like, hey, the bot from the user going on, who he gets it from, he gets it from, somewhere on that line, somebody's going to deal with a slant-eyed person. Right. You know what I mean?

Because in Georgia, they're coming in at the top. Right. You know what I mean? So, and I know lots of them. Like a lot of black guys that I know, like, yeah, man, my, my plug is, I, I fucks with you Asian guys, you know, but as an Asian, I always felt like, you know, they say the term model minority or whatever.

With white people, I feel like we're tolerated. You know, we're looking at as like non-threatening, right? Right. And with black folks, we look at as, looked at as easy victims. you know so to me it was always kind of like a fitting in so really we just fit in with each other you know yeah i was going to say like whenever i think of um you know asian you know crime i always like i don't think of smashing grabs i think of more sophisticated crimes because a lot i mean it will let me back to it that's not necessarily true it's more more complicated crimes like

like they'll go like i i did a whole research thing like on uh on an asian crime group and it was they were triads it was a member of the triad and i mean it was they were staking out a computer chip manufacturing plants staking them out they're getting all the employees they've got they've got when they come they go they go the shifts how many employees are there they'd watch it for a week or so. And then they'd come in, zip tie everybody, steal 10,000, you know, computer chips, put them on a couple of vans that they'd rented, move them and then go sell them for two million dollars. Like these were big time. Well, you know, we're also in the triads, right? So we're talking very organized. Yeah. Organized. That's maybe that's better. And they also have

example of organized resources as well, right? Whereas we are literally a street gang. You know, like our our organization was not like as defined and as right and you're young yeah we're young we didn't have that like you know chain of command like like like it was now definitely you know we had our respect and that's the only thing that nobody could take from us well that's also kind of what you were you were going for that's the only thing that you're trying not to be a victim that that's all it is is trying not to be a victim but in that did not be one you had to earn the respect right so it was every day of earning that. So it was just kind of like a little different.

And plus, you know, with the Chinese, you know, they, they, they, they're within their community, you know. We are not, we are an outsider within a community, you know. They, they are the leaders or the, the beard of their community. Whereas we are, we are not. We're, we are, we are just one corner of a community that really doesn't, isn't even ruled by us. Right.

You know, I mean, honestly. I mean, let's be honest. I mean, the projects are ruled by the African-Americans, you know what I mean? It's just that we weren't going to be victims of it. Right. But if you didn't group together, then you guys are prey because you're walking around by yourself. And so you need to be a group. Yeah, we had that.

Yes. I was going to say, we interviewed a guy yesterday with the, um, the New York guy? Yeah. Yeah, they were because they were all that was a, it was like you said, it was an organized, um, Chinese. run group that was stealing cars you know and and working with other not they're not just working with just Chinese like they're they're branching out to black guys to you know to other Asians

to Hispanic guys like whoever they're branching out and taking the cars and then shipping them back to China it was super interesting no there's it's no difference than the regular Chinese now who like they're manufacturing now does most of manufacturing for China. You thought Chinese labor was cheap. Enemy's labor is even cheaper. You know what I mean? So, you know, they're very smart in that way.

You know, Chinese people definitely know how to use other. I wouldn't even just say Chinese. I would just say first world Asians. And it's funny because a buddy of mine, he's Korean. Like, he hates black people. But he, his, all his business is, feeds off of them. them like he makes go girls and he you know like you know he feeds off of them to for his income but internally he he hates them right you know what I mean and it's like um but yet they understand

like hey this is where the money is this is how to get it and they're just oh they're just they're still going to deal with who they have to deal with they're not saying no we'll only deal with our kind right they're saying I'll deal with anybody as long as I make money that's the thing about like like China like China's extremely capitalist oh yeah at this point you know no doubt you know it's under the guise of communism you know but really they're they're uh they're definitely running a capitalist uh system i mean even the vietnam war i believe was all based off of heroin i mean a lot of people have all these political views about it but if you talk to the people in vietnam you know they talk about the golden triangle yeah the golden triangle basically

to fund the war somehow right well the golden triangle basically was the area that was fertile for opium right you know and and the the chinese wanted south vietnam's land you know and because and that you know uh export you know or export import you know they wanted that product yeah and because south vietnam was a french province you know a french um territory i guess so they backed up the north to take over you know and then america steps in to back up the french you know and and all hell breaks loose and you know and you know they and you know politically they say this and this and that but technically i mean it is i'm going to say isn't it funny it's funny like all these wars that are going on these micro wars these you know proxy wars that are going like

like it's they've been going on forever they're never going to stop they're always going to be going on it's just never you know there is no like world war one was like the war to end all wars it was the last you know war it was going to stop bro like 25 years later they're fighting again they're fighting another war here that another one like it's never going to stop well the problem with it is i always said that like um you know gangus con hitler uh napoleon all these guys Alexander the gray had they were able to take over the entire world and really just conquered the world we would all be under one government they would we wouldn't have missiles to point to anybody because we would all be one.

So nobody was, the, the failure in humanity is that we're, we developed the technology to destroy ourselves before we were able to ban as a species. I think that's, that's my saying, you know, because had we had, let's say Hitler won, even though that sounds atrocious, you know what I mean? Like, God, of course I wouldn't want that. But let's say Hitler won, then the entire globe would just be Germany. Yeah. And yeah, the government would suck, but it would be one government.

We wouldn't be sitting there fighting against each other because we would just be against each other. You know what I mean? It would probably some civil things, but it's still all in one government, you know? And that's the problem now is you're dealing with all these feelings and, you know, helping this person now and helping this country. And it's just too many countries getting in other people's business is what it is. A lot of times it's like, why is America even there? you know what i mean why was america even in vietnam you know like uh one of the statistics for vietnam for the vietnam wars there's more american soldiers lost in the vietnam war than war one war war two

and the korean war combined you know for what yeah for this little strip of land that you have like no care about you know what i mean like why were you even there you know um but you know a lot of things about that even like i open my mind because i'm from south vietnam so i'm considered like you know i've always kind of held like some kind of resentment to the north you i always felt like they took over but in the history books over there hoche men which was the leader of the north you know he's he's in their history books like he's like a hero yeah you know what i mean well the victors write yeah he the history that's what i'm saying it's it's it's all about perspective right and wouldn't i be as a benme's person shouldn't i be like hey you know what i should be

proud that I come from a lineage of warriors that took down America. Like, who else did? Look at all the resources of, you know, Russia and China and Japan. They could take down America, but yet this itty-bitty, little-bitty country took them down. Because why? Because they didn't, they didn't believe in rules. I mean, they did like, fucked up shit. Don't even wrong. He's tying and sticks a dynamite to an eight-year-old kid. That's a, that's a fucked up shit. You know what I mean? But that That's where the term guerrilla warfare came from. Yo. Did you ever see, I mean, I know we're getting off topic.

Full metal jacket. No, I was thinking Apocalypse now. No, I've never seen. Oh, you've never seen a, have you ever, Cole. I know, I'm not even talked to Colton. I know, oh, you've got to see Apocalypse now. Like, it's, it's just brutal. Marlon Brando, right?

Marlon Branden. And at the end, he talks about what convinced him that he had to start, basically had to take on the war himself and stop. being confined by the guidelines that America was imposing on him to fight that war. And what convinced him of it was they'd gone into, the Americans had gone into a village and they'd vaccinated what they thought was a good thing. We're going to vaccinate all the children. And the Vietnamese came in, I want to say it was the Vietnamese.

They came in and they chopped the arms off of all of the children that had been vaccinated, you know, because they get him back and he said when we came back a week later, there was a pile, like a three, four foot pile of hundreds of little baby arms. He said little baby arms and he said, I knew right then the discipline that it took to chop those children's arms off. We could never win if we continue to fight based on the, based on the parameters that were being put on us. And so he took his own group of, of, of, uh, of, uh, of, uh, Vietnamese and they started fighting their own guerrilla war. And now the United States sends somebody in there to kill him, even though he's being effective. So, uh, because you have to fight fire with fire. Right. And then,

and the Americans, they wouldn't do it. They couldn't do it. That's the problem is that Americans were stuck with rules of engagement. Right. And okay, for example, like the Hocchimint Trail. Right. You everybody's heard of the Hocchamint Trail. The Hohcherman Trail was how the North got their supplies into the south, right? And the U.S. with new, I mean, with like napalm and I mean, it was all things about this Hohman Trail. But if you look at the Hohman Trail, the Hohman Trail actually goes into Cambodia, goes into Laos, because North Vietnam didn't give a fuck about these invisible lines that like, you know, and if you actually looked at the supplies, they're literally in plain sight, but it's in Cambodia. So the U.S. can't go in there and blow up that supply depot.

you're fighting with rules you're fighting you're constraining yourself with rules and the other party doesn't have any doesn't have absolutely no rules right i mean and and and it's always been known that ho chimen was a big fan of like uh the art the art of war you know he was a real big studier of the art war and he understood his enemy i mean even do you know what the art of war is sensu sin sue man uh was a uh you know whether he's uh was a real uh japanese uh japanese chinese chinese chinese Chinese general. Like, I've seen things that, like, they think he, some of them think he was real. Some think it's a combination of a couple different people.

And he wrote the book called The Art of War, which honestly, like, to this day, they use. They still use. It's got these really simple principles. Like, you've heard divide and conquer. Divide and conquer is sincere. Yeah. If you're a large, you know, if, what is it? If you're equally matched fight, if you're not equally matched evade, if you're more, if you're, you know,

larger than your enemy you know fight like he's got all these rules if you're small be nimble if you're large but you know he's all these different rules for the art of war and people use it in business and he actually looks at it like like a chess set like a chess board right i mean you do have sacrificial pawns that kid holding that eight stick of dynamite is a sacrificial pawn to him you know what i mean it's just a weapon to use to destroy this tank right now and they believe they they understood propaganda like you know during vietnam they would broadcast the north would broadcast on a on a radio for black soldiers saying this is not your war we're not here to fight you look at the people they're putting you guys on the front lines they don't care about your life

they're they're trying to separate that they know there's a there's a problem there separate them divide and conquer yeah divide and conquer right and it's uh i mean even it goes down to the very last day which is the the the tent offensive everybody there's the tet offensive Now, Thutt is how you pronounce it. That means New Year's, right? So the whole thing about the Tet Offensive was the U.S. wanted to have a ceasefire with the North. So they were going to have like this.

Hey, we're going to have this big, because it's a very big thing. Thut in Vietnam was a very big thing. And they totally didn't see it coming. Right. They were like, hey, we're going to shake hands, sign this document that we're going to have this ceasefire that this day we're going to celebrate and everybody and everybody's going to be good. So guess what?

The American soldiers went out there and got drunk and hammered and, you know, thinking it's a free day the north comes rolling in in tanks right on right on that you know what me overwhelming like was just was just one base after another's being overwhelmed right overrun this one's overrun this one's and then it it becomes a cascade effect like you just can't stop how many of right and that's that's the day that the the u.s had to pull out and and it's just like why would you even like honor a document from a guy that signs it that literally was to have a dynamite 108 year old kid you know like what would make you believe that what anything that this guy says he's not he's using anything he understands that he's going up against it's like mike tyson's punch out you know

you're your your little mac up there trying to fight mike tyson you know what i mean he is going to use any and every opportunity that he can to get one leg up you know what i mean i was just so you had um you had uh uh uh hitler which had consistently broken a And then you have Chamberlain comes in, who was the, he was like the prime minister of England. He comes in, signs a document with Hitler promising like, hey, we're going to have peace. And then there he's like, absolutely, absolutely. He's broken every agreement he signed for the last five years. And they're like, they come back and they're like the, the English are hailing him as like, oh, you got this signed.

It's great. It's wonderful. And even he knew, like, this is bullshit. Like, this guy's never going to. And within months, he invades. he invades within months, I think he... Poland or didn't? No, I think he already had done that.

So I think it was within months he invaded France. Okay. You know, so it was like... I mean, it's just like this. Like, why would you ever honor any handshake or any deal with your enemy? Well, maybe you could, but with somebody who's consistently proven, he will not hold his... It'd be like signing an agreement with Putin. Like, you're consistently lying to...

to us and not honoring your agreement like you so it's like how do you deal with a bully bullies only they only respect strength it really kind of goes back to the exact same thing of forming a small gang why because these people won't respect me without strength right because i could fight every day by myself and i'll get that little bit of respect but if you don't ever get some wins in there you know what i mean right you're still going to be looked at as a victim right so i mean yeah i mean they came over and they took over so like my parents had to deal with the aftermath of that, you know, like literally taints coming in and this, this is no longer your home, you know, like you're out on the street. And so there was a lot of people who escaped

and there were political refugees. And a lot of countries, the Vietnamese people are actually dispersed very globally all over the world. I think France took in a hole. There are a lot of Vietnamese people in France because France felt like it was, you know, it was their former colony. Yeah, it was the former colony, right? And that's how there's a lot of Catholicism and been these culture because the french the french brought in catholism to uh to south vietnam and um also a lot of french culture with uh the ice coffee and and and things like that uh the bignets and and um where you have to watch apocalypse now i'm so fucking disappointed i'm going to send you the trailer i i know the movie i definitely i definitely will you would love the movie i never know that it was

about the vietnam war though i just knew that ron brand oh my most positive it's about the vietnam war i hope it's not about the korean war no i feel like it's about the vietnam war it has to be because vietnam war is when it's like when you're talking about like the atrocities you know i mean like something about crazy they're talking about cambodia in it and they it's it's it's it's got to be because cambodia was run by the kamaruz too by the time like they were definitely it's definitely it's definitely vietnam is it vietnam okay it's vietnam i knew it okay got me second guess on myself and then also like you got to look at like the soldiers like how do you how can you pick out your enemy and your ally when they both look exactly the same you can't like you know what I mean

like so a kid comes running towards your tank is that an innocent kid or is that kid's trapped with dynamite now you have to make that decision right now you're forever going to have to live with blowing a little eight year old kids head off right you know you know you got to live with that you know what I mean and that's why these these enemies are veterans that are back like they're so screwed up you look at you know when when we won war two it was such just huge celebration like that whole i always think of that portrait i always think of that portrait that they have of um that uh sailor kissing that nurse in the new york city right like it was a celebration when when that war ended but when when when war when vietnam war we had so much political unrest here with you know with the the rallies

like a lot of people were feeling like they were sending sons over there that weren't coming back you know for a meaningless war right to them which Well, I think it's different, too, in the United States, comes back from World War II. Nothing's happened in the United States. You know, when World War II ended for Europe, like, it's devastated. Like, so do they feel like, woo-hoo? Like, they might be like, yeah, great. Now we have to rebuild our entire country.

Like, they're in a different spot. Yeah, the great thing about the U.S. is just where we're located. Yeah. You know, I mean, you're literally separated by the Atlantic and the Pacific. It's not that easy to kind of reach out and touch us. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? When Japan did Burrow.

Pearl Harbor that was kind of really the first time somebody ever reached out and touched and look how how we responded to that you know what I mean like honestly if they were to just new North Vietnam the very first time and they would probably end it just that quickly too you know um but uh yeah like that's why everybody feels so some type of way about 9-11 because that's somebody reaching out and touching us on our ground like and you know I was I was actually in prison when the news of 9-11 broke out I remember that I was in my little computer class, you know, because internet wasn't really even out like that back then. But I was saying, and first saw the first plane hit. And we thought I was, I thought it was an

accident. You know what I mean? And then it was going out. And I could remember even as prisoners, how angry we were. You know, like, people were like, dude, like, screw this. You know, I'll put it, put a gun, man, let's go. I will go to war right now. You put me on the front lines. You know what I mean? Like, you know, a lot of people hate Americans, but I always say, you hate us because you, because ain't us. And I've gotten a lot of perspective over old years. Don't get me wrong. I love an, I'm an American.

I represent America. I'm a citizen. You know, I represent this country, you know. But, yeah, so I was, I was, I was very angry about that when, when that went down. So, um, let's, let's get back to. did you you ended up you were talking about burglaries and stuff right and eventually it caught up to you it did it caught up to me like I said the the day after I turned 17 and then Georgia uh the at 17 years old you're consider as an adult okay so technically I couldn't even buy cigarettes yet but I could

be tried as an adult right so but they kind of gave me a slap on the rip day they kind of combined it at all and gave me this the 90 day boot camp which I went to west Georgia boot camp which is like a prison boot camp you're not like an actual like military but it's run in a very military style right you know we exercise and marched and and all that stuff so I did I did that I got out 90 days right but then I went right back into doing exactly what I was doing before you know I was gang members still and now I'm a little bit older you know so I just got right back into that again and you know living the life of, you know, hustling, you know, selling drugs, little small money here and there. There's nothing like big and organized. But the funny thing you had mentioned about those

cars, we at one of my, one of my members actually went out and visited a friend in New Jersey. And he came back with the master key to, they were Camrys, Toyota Camrys, back in my 80s, California. And you could stick this key into the Camry and, and it would unlock any camera and it would work in the ignition so we just made copies of like keys so literally whenever we needed a ride to go somewhere we would go walk through a parking lot look for camry and we would be gone it was just and we were bad about it we were literally playing bumper cars with these things like we didn't care about the these cars but but i remember that one of my buddies end up getting incarcerated with one right and in there there there was

he came across like some kind of like they took them down to like the um i guess That's what they say. They take you into the precinct or whatever for questioning. And he came across the paper that they said that the number two car that's both stolen in Georgia happened to be telling you. Yeah. That's exactly what the guy yesterday said that. He said like he had like three cars that were like, you know, they weren't super expensive.

But he said there's tons of them. So they always need parts. So people are stealing them. And they're easy to steal. He said they're not difficult to steal. So yeah, he said that was the number one. When we got that, that was a game changer for us. Because before then, we had to do the dent puller and all that.

I don't know how you ever like hot wire. You know, you see the hot wire in the cars and all that. Well, basically what you do is, you know what a dent puller is? It's what the device that you twist and you can yank out the dents in the car, right? And like it would have like a little nail. Right. You could screw into it and then you pop that dent out, right? Well, you would screw in that nail right into the ignition switch.

And you basically just pop the whole entire ignition out. And from there, you could work your magic to stuff. car to call it what was the guy what is it you remember the guy we interviewed that he he was do what they were doing it in new york and he had a name for that the the ignition whatever pop pop pop back he said you snap it right out and that well we it was the dent puller that was what it was we called it exactly what it was you know the thing that believe it or not the thing that would deviate us the most was the club you remember the stupid club that we're steel wheel club if a car had a steel wheel club on it you were safe i had a buddy he was

broke into a guy's car who had a club and he brought he brought um like a saw yeah no uh whatever yeah it was a saw but it was um a like a hacksaw thank you it's a little tiny hacksall not a big one but that you know you can get them where they grip right where they they grip the uh thing and it so you're actually it looks like a saw yeah had a couple ways and he said so i sat it was i think it was a corvette he said i'm sitting out there sawing and i'm halfway through the saw he is the guy comes out of the house runs out and just pulling on the door he's in and i he goes and i go what did you do he's like i kept saw him he's like what do you mean he said bro he said like what am i going to do i'm i got to get through this thing you what am i going to do oh you got me open the door he's

this fucking guy's huge so he said he said he said so i mean i was making progress i'm sure that thing what i took like half an hour to get through this he said finally he's like he's like the guy like ran in the garage you can tell he's calling the police i snap it i boom i start the car jumps on the fucking hood he's like he said he said look if he had grabbed like a hammer and smash the window he was but it was his car he's like so he backs out with the guy on the fucking thing he first driving he stops a couple times officially the guy comes off gets off the hood he takes off and he's like i fucking he's like i'm never been so scared in my entire life and you know believe it on the side note of that it's just even if we didn't take the cars

you know how many like firearms and things like that that we got from glove compartment stereo equipment like just things these are these are ways that we were making money as as as young little kids right i mean um and like i said we we we rob we rob people right what i mean uh people that we knew that like dealt with like cash businesses or dope dope yeah you know what i mean and for you to do that you know that you got to be prepared yeah they might probably have a gun you got to be prepared you know and um but yeah we we we were we were pretty pretty bad back then you know um um how did that what what what happened um so how old were you at this point like this is after high school right this has got to be no i i had doing my gang when i was probably about like 12 no no i

mean after you went you went to prison well did the boot camp i did the boot camp i came out you said you were still a knucklehead you're still doing crazy shit right well out there doing all that stuff and then what happened which leads into my second time i get incarcerated so my gang or my crew where they were going down to Florida for the weekend to to party or whatever and three of us couldn't go and one reason I couldn't go is because I was still under probation off the other stuff so like I think four of us stayed behind and they told us like look hey don't go to the clubs don't go out you guys are only a few of you guys here you know what I mean but you know back then we I felt like I was invisible and if you're telling me not to go somewhere it means I'm scared and I'm I'm not

going to be scared to go out right you know what i mean so what and and back then in uh in alana the as fused as it is now like now when we go to the clubs there's a mix of all kinds of races in the year ago white people have people Asian people everything but back then they used to have what were called Asian parties so people would rent out a venue and throw a party just for Asian people right so but this is where the gangs would converge right so then i remember went to club sole was down in midtown Atlanta and it was just four of us you know and we went in and there was an altercation within within the club right and you know we threw down in the club uh got out and got went to the car and as we were driving away is who's the altercation with a rival gang okay

yeah it's not you in the altercation it's somebody else within your gang well with one of us is all of us right right so uh one of us got into a fight in there so we all we got into a fight within the club right and then after that you know got kicked out so we got to the car and as we were leaving there were like four of them on the side of the sidewalk i guess going to their cars you know and at that point i stuck my nine millimeter out of the window and i let go the entire mag right uh unfortunately for me uh there was a police in the vicinity so there was a police on the scene within three minutes of the because he could he heard the gunshots right you know so there was a police on scene within three minutes so there was an app out for a red

honda civic within like five minutes we made it maybe four blocks away you know what i mean uh and come to find out that they were like stopping any hot red hunt any red car i mean there were other people that got guns drawn on them that had nothing doing anything but anyway like we got pulled over and literally surrounded by like probably like 15 cop car and you didn't get rid of the gun you've got the gun no we absolutely did get rid of oh yeah we didn't get rid of it um but i like said it's completely surrounded i mean guns drawn and like um you know hands up and getting down and and all that jazz and um so then they they put us in the car and then they took me right back to the scene of the crime because there were still some

people there at the time i didn't know if i had hit anybody right i was wondering but i did you know but there are other ones that didn't that were still there did you hit this did you hit one person or One person. Okay. Three times. Oh, okay. So he was already sent to the hospital. But the remaining people there were like, yes, they ID'd me.

So immediately I go to Atlanta City Jail, you know, me and everybody that was in the car with me. You know, so then from there, that was the stint of my second. Now, Atlanta City Jail is a completely different ballgame because now you're talking, this is the inner city of Atlanta. This is like... Is ACDC? ACDZ Atlanta City detention center I guess yeah I remember looking out my window and I could see Magic City which is one of the yeah it's like a tall building yeah I was there oh yeah you're familiar right well I was in the the marshals holdover area so it's just for the fed

so okay well no I went into you know they obviously no bond on that charge uh so they they take me into Atlanta city jail but then they ended up having to bound my case over to superior court because they couldn't handle it in the city because it was such a bigger serious crime yeah so this is when I go to Fulton County Jail right now Follon County Jail is everybody knows it has Rice Street right now Rice Street it was probably the toughest time I had to spend because Rice Street had seven floors have you heard of rye Street before yeah I have been being in ACDC like it these are rough places right because you're dealing with these are like the ghettos like in Atlanta you're

talking everybody in there is always it's not even about what gang you're from It's like where you're from. I'm from Fourth War, Bullet Bar, Mechanicsville, Perry Home, Carver Homes. These are all projects, you know, mechanicsville is where T.I came from. You know, so in there, that's they were reping where their neighborhood was. Right. You know, but either way, all those neighborhoods didn't have Asian people in it. You know what I mean?

And plus, I'm kind of outside because my hood is more college park. So I'm in Clayton County is where my hood is. So I'm not even in like my, my stock. The stomping ground, I guess you would say. So Rice Street, at that time, I think they changed it now. But back then, Rice Street had seven floors. So the top floor was like the hole, right? The sixth floor was where you're a PC or like, I guess at the time, transgender people, stuff that people need protection would go to.

And then the fifth floor was like the Thunderdome. The fifth floor was the violent crime floor. And then it worked its way on down, you know? And you're there for attempted murder? I'm there for attempted murder. So I am on the fifth floor and I'm in, I'm, I'm telling you, I'm crazy as shit. Like, I'm literally sitting here watching the news. And on the news, it was, I remember as the Didi.

And there was this couple, this guy and a girl who like killed some girl, some lady and chopped off her head. And they found the body, could never find the head, right? And I'm watching this on the news. The door pops open and fucking Didi walks in. You know what I mean? Like, I'm just like, wow. Now, the thing is, you know, like I said, Asians, we're looked at as.

by black people as victims, you know? So I probably got into more altercations in the time that I spent on that Fifth floor of Rice Street than I have my entire life as a gangbanger in the years I spent in prison afterwards, you know what I mean? Like that kind of is really where I learned how to fight because I was constantly having to prove myself. I could remember like the first week in there I went to a store call, right? So the officer is at the door of handing out store.

I make a $50 store call. I'm walking back to my room with my bag. And his name was Jones, big tall guy, came up to him and was like, hey, let me get that. And I was like, oh, you're hungry? You want a honey bun? I'm still a little green around the ears, you know? I put my bag down and he's like, no, I want that whole thing. Now, my whole thing is I got to do it.

It's like this. Don't think. If you think, you're going to talk yourself out of it. Right. I don't think. I just react. So I punch him right in the face. You know what I mean? His buddy kicks me in the back. I go into the fetal position. They're stomping me out. Officers at the door are still passing house door call. Right. You know what I mean? It's called, we call the Goldfish Bowl. They had like a little tower up top. They said that they could look down. There was like six different units that they could look down on, you know? And like it was like nobody else. You know, they'll buy up their place and bets, you know? But, yeah. Yeah, that was like my first understanding of like, you know, hey, this is going to have to be a regular thing. Because because being that a fact that it was a county jail, I mean, it was like a revolving door. Yeah. You know, like people were getting sentenced and moving out.

So new people were coming in. So do people come in immediately see victim? You know what I mean? So, I mean, I'm constantly proven. I mean, I at least got to one to two fights a week. Now I can remember one guy that definitely took me under his wing. his name, he was a Mexican dude name was a Montana, right? And he

was a golden glove boxer. And he came up to me and was like, hey man, you know, you want to like work out and try to teach you some things like that. You know what I mean? I guess he kind of felt bad. Maybe I was just getting my ass kicked a little too much because back then as a game where you thought you really knew how to fight, but you're just really not, you're just really trying to throw punches with no kind of really technique to it. Right. You know what I mean? But like I said,

if you're willing to fight, then you won, right? Because at least you chose you're not scared. But then he started showing me. me boxing moves you know like we would take the matches rolling up put in the pillowcase and hold it and start showing me how to stand and you know i'm doing it just as an exercise thing but then as i'm fighting i noticed that like it's just started to come naturally with it and i'm starting to get better you know so i really really learned how to fight then because i will tell you growing up as a game banger i'm fighting other boys right it's completely different game when you're fighting

a grown-ass man as a young boy or so you know what I'm saying it's a completely different ballgame you know what I mean and and and everyone you have to take seriously you know and then and then even after the fight you still living with this guy still you still got to kind of keep your eyes the worst it's the worst thing like yeah so you got to kind of learn how to somewhat coexist you you earn that respect and then you got to somehow squash it out at some point yeah you know what I mean like like even that guy Jones we ended up being really cool like weeks later after you know his Shiner went away you know what I mean but he never stole my stoker off from me again right you know what I mean but he probably spreads the word like

listen to that dude a fucking swing I mean it wasn't even a spread a word it was literally like in the day room I mean I didn't even make it back to my room I was probably about 15 feet away from the from the door from the store call you know but you know it wasn't it wasn't the last time that my stuff got stolen right you know what I mean but once again you got to go out and it could be over the most like simplest thing I was I was telling you're like you know out here we have what it's like a man code right that we got to live by you're going to have to you know you can treat me with a certain amount of respect as a man right but in there you have the convict code you know which is like you know stitches get stitches and all that stuff right

but it was more like all you had was your respect so the littlest thing wouldn't force you to have to go into an immediate confrontation yeah i was going to say like here like you know out here like you're not going to get into a fight if over over a three dollar item that that that guy over there might have stole or he didn't return and he says man i'm sorry i lost it bro's like fuck was four bucks whatever well you've been in i mean but in prison oh yeah you'll die oh bro what are you doing like i can't let you fucking just i can't all my shit because now it looks like anybody everybody's gonna do it right you can't you can't do that and like even i don't know about you but and like one of the biggest thing is you can't reach over my food

do not put your hand over my food right well okay so state you know i'm saying state and pens are are they have a lot of little rules you know what i'm saying like you can't in some of them it's like you can't you can't do even do business with like somebody from another race you can't sit at that table why because that's the black guys table right you can't sit there like yeah there's nowhere to sit with you fucking stand or you wait till one of the white guys gets up or you Like, that's in other, like, the prisons I was at weren't that bad. There were some of it, but it was more laxed. You know what I'm saying?

It's even like cutting line or going to a guy and going, hey, can I jump in line? And the guys would be like, yeah, yeah, that's fine. And then you go back and, you know, some white guy would come to him and say, bro, you just cut line. And I asked the guy, I'm going to go, the fuck. Yeah. Yeah, but the line's 100 people. Like, it'll take me 10 minutes or 20 minutes to be in that line. They'll go, then you go, wait.

You're going to get us in trouble. Yeah. You're going to get us in a problem because you just cut in front of that guy, even if he says it's okay. Well, even if he says okay, but is the other 99 people behind him okay. Right, right, exactly. So, no, you go stand back on the line. Right. I'll give you an example.

One of the things I got in a fight with over a lot, what somebody calling me, an Amigo. Hey, Amigo. First of all, I'm not Mexican. Right. You know what I mean? And it's like, no, no, no, man. It means friend. Second of all, I'm not your friend.

you know and then now at that point i've kind of laid it down on him either he's going to back down and look like you know like you put him in his place or he has to step up to the bat and if he does then hey i have to step up to the bat too right and that's the most trivialist thing to get up what about people out here saying bitch oh bitch you're crazy like you know that's like i've never been anywhere with that but out here they say it like people will say it to each other and it's like son of a bitch that if you call my mom what do you know right that That was, that was an immediate green light. Stubblest, the stupiless thing.

Yeah, guys don't fucking get that fights. They're going out and they're going. They're putting their boots on and going to get it. And when they put the boots on, what do they call it? They call it, strap up. Right. Hey, it's time strap up. You know, over the most trivialest thing.

But it's because you only have that little bit of shred of respect that you have to like maintain, you know? And I'm not going to even lie. Like being an Asian dude in prison, you don't think how many people kind of came at me with that fuck game. Right. know what i'm saying like who wouldn't want to have them a nice little china doll right you know what i'm especially when i'm the only only asian in the entire camp and it's funny because when i went to that camp uh they they they do their count system by black or white so even if you're mexican your kids said black or white they have right they have on the board how many black inmates to have

how many white inmates they have right i refused to be labeled and they kept i mean they were on me on me on me i was like fuck you i'm not picking if you if you pick you if you pick you pick you pick but you asking me to pick fuck you i'm not picking you know so you know if you go to like the bop and you're looking somebody up it only has like black and white it like there's no Hispanic it's black white what was race black white male female that's it that's your choice and it's funny because the day that i got released uh i went through the outtake and i went past the office and they had like the chalkboard where the white board where they had their count they had black white and they had a fucking 3M sticky note

other other one you can finally take that fucking sticky note down motherfucker because that's me so so what so how long were you I'm sorry so what happened let's go back to the what happened like what did they come to you with like you just shot

you just hit a guy three times did he die what happened no I hit him I had him in the leg three times okay so we kind of jumped around a little bit okay say so you still die by being shot in the leg by the way Right, but he did it. He did it. He showed up. He showed up to court in a wheelchair. And that's how they passed on and indicted me to move me forward. But I ended up spending like three years in county waiting to go to trial. What are they offering you? Are they giving you an offer? Well, I finally got an offer of a 10 to 5 time served right after. So I didn't even end up going to prison over that charge. But you had already done three years. You have done three years. Yes. what do you mean 10 to I understand you so it was a 10 to 5 basically is a 10 year sentence you do serve five of it but you'd already serve three I already serve good time basically yeah they let me out

straight from county but they paroled me out straight from county basically um so then that happens right so I'm out on the street now after this aggravated assault attempted murder right uh back into the same thing you know back meeting with my boys and everything and then this is can't get right i just couldn't get took it took a while at any point when you were prison did you think you know what i'm going to get out and i'm working for fedex i'm done move over for fedex i'm going to deliver packages um um or you know walmart like did you think we're at any point while you were locked up saying this sucks i don't want to do this anymore fuck it i would rather just work you know at Walgreens. You know, I'm going to be honest with you. There's no rehabilitation.

Right. What it taught me was it taught me how to be a better criminal. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Right? Because you're in there with the best. Of course. Right. And it also taught me that I'm not scared of this. Like I can survive in here. That was the worst for me. That's the problem because now you're not scared of it. Once you, the unknown was what was scared. Once you went through it, you're like, oh, no, this isn't that much of a deterred. Yeah, like now, I don't get a fuck about prison. Right. You know what I mean?

So what? You know what I've been there, done that? You know, now when I go to, if I have one, I'd rather much rather do prison time than than county time because county fucking sucks. The guys the whole time you're in county, you're like, there were guys that I kept hearing him say, man, I just want to get sentenced to go to prison. It was like, and I was like, I always thought, well, prison's worse than this, right? And they were like, fuck, no, prison's way better than county.

Fuck, yeah. County sucks. I remember a guy was like, he said, you understand that I'll get there in the morning? That night I'll be eating ice cream. I mean, he was, I'm going to, they're going to count me. I'm going to go walk the track for about an hour or two. I might play handball.

That night I'll have somebody get me an ice cream. I'll be taking a hot shower. And you're sitting there going, like, I want to get sentenced. Like, I want to go to prison. No, because, you know, you're watching these movies. And, you know, of course, I, I might say, I wasn't like, nervous about going to prison you know what i mean obviously i was you know what i mean but once like once you've been down there and you understand and like i was a rowdy kid i was never scared to

throw down so like once you know that like you can earn that respect yeah the freedom's down in prison so much more like you literally get out in the morning you're out all day watching tv gambling you don't have very little interaction with the police anymore yeah very little interaction with anything so it's kind of like you're you're you're kind of left on your own to kind of do do do your time you know whereas in county they're so like strict and it's all about control and you know literally in guinette county like you literally only got four hours outside of your room a day so it's 20 hour lockdown you know what i mean like fuck that shit i much rather go out here like send me to gen pop you know what i mean because i much rather have the freedom and not and so what

A fight's a fight. What I'm what the hell is that? I was just thinking I was being transferred one time. So I'm being transferred. Like they put you on the bus. They, you know, they shipped to the blue bird.

We call it the blue bird. So I got shipped from Coleman. I was going through Atlanta. You served time in Florida. Yeah. Well, yes. Okay.

Well, I mean, I got caught in, um, yeah, I got caught in Nashville. And so I went from Nashville to like, um, I think,

uh, was it, Alabama. And then then they, they, they send you through. like the Oklahoma City, like the transfer center. I was there for a couple weeks.

So I got moved around. But at one point from Coleman, I was going through Atlanta. But they bring the bus. You spend two days here. Then they bring you here, two days here. Jackson? No, I went to. I remember this was, oh God, it was a Tallahassee, Florida.

But it was so funny as they bring the bus in, right? So there's probably 10 or 12 of us. They give us our bedroll and we're walking to ourselves. And it was late. It was like 10 or 11 o'clock at night. But keep in mind, I've been locked up like nine, 10 years. No, I've been locked up, you know, I think, I've been locked up about eight years at this point. So I'd already, I'd already, I'd been a year in the county jail.

I was already at the low. So I'm walking with my bedro and there's a couple of guys behind me. But some of the guys that were around me, like they were still in training transfer. They haven't been sentenced, nothing. They've barely been to even the county jail yet. They've been in a week or two, maybe a couple months. So as we're walking, and we're all from the low. So, but, you know, while we're low security, but these guys got picked up at the, at one of the U.S. Marshal's holdover, so they've really been designated. But they're low guys. So we're walking with the bedroll. And we go up on the second tier and we're, you know, the cops, we're following the cop. And he's like, here, you know, Johnson, this is your room. So, but so as we're walking, this is criminal. These are, these are fucking, these are criminals. The guys, it's 11, 12 o'clock at night. The guys are at the windows. All the doors are locked. The guys are the windows banging on the windows.

Put that one in here. Put that one in here. Big fucking huge guys with tattoos. That one. I want him. I want him. And I mean, I swear, the guys. Fresh fish.

Fresh fish. Guys behind me and in front of me are like, oh my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And I go, you guys are fucking with you. We're in a low. This is a low holdover. They're fucking with.

They're fucking with you. I promise. He's like, oh, I don't think I can do this, man. I don't think. I'm like, it's fine. They're fucking with you. I can't be in my phone. these guys i keep it reminds you of uh shawshank redemption right and making a shot shank redemption

it does but they were serious you're saying oh yeah yeah the fresh food they were doing the bad and i'm sitting there like laughing because i'm thinking i was so fucking of course i was scared when i first got locked up and i'm sitting there like you guys i'm i swear to you these guys are fucking these guys are in the holdover this is a low security holdover so they're not going to put you you're a low guy they're not going to put you in with someone who's going to rape you or murder you We were not at this level. Now, that may happen later, but at this level, I promise you guys are fine. And it was only because the next day when we came out for breakfast,

like some of the guys that were terrified were like, bro, my fucking cool, my celly's so cool, bro. He, you were almost in tears last night. Yeah, it's a game. But it's a game and yet not a game because they do test to see who's weak. You know what I mean? This was a little, we were going to be there for two days. You know what I'm saying? nobody's getting con there's commissaries nobody's there so it wasn't that bad of it and you know and i

listen and i was 100% right like you're right it could have gone the other way right but it didn't like as soon as i walked in like you know there was like a the guy like my like my cell like you know got up and he was like hey bro what's up man um look i got my stuff here hold on let me get my stuff off the bed like he's you know he knows he's like you know he's he's in transfer too he's like look we got to be in here together like let let's yeah you got you got to be cool with you Yeah, because there are times, you have to admit. So there are times you were in prison and you met some guys that were just off the chain cool guys. Oh, my squad.

Yeah, you have to have your, I mean, even regardless of a gang or whatever affiliation in prison, you got to have, like I said, those guys that had your back that can look behind you, you know, where you can't see. You know, you have to have that close knit a friends. You know who takes care of yourself, like the Mexicans. Oh, yeah. When the Mexicans get there, you could be a Mexican, go into a unit and you walk in and they're like, yo bro where you from boom boom boom i got you i got shower slides for you i've got like they

would have like a whole kit and sometimes the white guys sometimes the white guys would do it the black guys never really did that for each other that i saw and sometimes the white guys would do it for each other they were such a small group but the mexicans would take care i mean like bro give me a list i'm going to the store tonight i'll send somebody to get your list like it was like like they were set up let's see that comes at a cost oh okay it comes at a cost because now they just grew one more member of their numbers yeah right now that guy owes him expected that guy owes them right so if now somebody if they were to reach out and ask him a favor he would now feel obligated right to do what he's got to do yeah yeah right so i mean everything comes out of cost you

know um you know the one of the big jokes is the and this never happened to me but yeah i've heard stories about you go into prison and then there's like a bunch of cake the cakes and stuff like all it's on your bed the snickers bar yeah the snigger bars and stuff like that on your bed you might not eat that snickers bar you know what i mean like you think that's a gift i used to tell the guys would say well what's the difference between the medium and the low i'd go well i said you know the thing difference is that you know somebody puts a fucking snickers bar and you're at a medium don't eat it someone puts a snickers bar on your pillow in the low you can eat it you'll be all right because that dude shows up and you'd be like yeah i ate the fucking snickers bar

fuck you you don't want to go nowhere right you know what i'm saying you don't want to fucking fight you wanted this you know you're playing around that's because you're willing to like you know right but he might try you like it was probably a joke though right you know what I'm saying probably yeah oh I had listen I taught GED and I used to have with Zach and we used to have guy I used to have a guy that used to bring a Snickers every once in a while and he'd go hey Cox you know like this with the Snickers I mean cut the fucking shit so this went on four or five times for about a two or three weeks but now I know who the guy I kind of know and I know realize that he's not doing anything So one day I watched you, he goes, hey, Cox.

And I go, I said, damn, bro, I snatch it out of his hand. I open it and I bite it. And he goes, what the fuck, man? Fuck, bro. Are you serious? You cashed in that wolf ticket. Right. But the first time, like, it was questionable.

Yeah, it was fucking with me. Because he's trying you up. He's testing you. Right. It's all about testing. Right. And seeing where somebody's heart's at. And that's all it is.

Like, even like me, like I said, as long as you're willing, like, there's so much easier to go to the next. who's not going to be willing to buy then then to even deal with it you know what i mean so like once you once you get known to just like hey this guy's just not going to it's just not going to come right then they're going to leave you alone and in prison it was a lot easier in that because the revolving door wasn't as you know my rep it was it was big the reputation would would be known more and it was just it just altercations happened because they just happened to happen not because somebody was intentionally trying to go after me or something like that you know what i mean but like

And Wright Street, like I said, that was like a revolving door. It was like constantly like learning. I mean, I don't think I ever not had a bruise on me at some point in my body at all times, you know? But yeah, like even then, even in prison, it's like a code. Like, hey, let's take it to the room. There's no need for the police to know about this. So you never want, but you never, on that charge, you, you stood all three years in the county, which was the hardest time to believe it or not.

Yeah. But you'd rather than five years in prison, the three years in the county. Absolutely. Absolutely. Because like I said that, and it was weird because I was in Rice Street for a year, right? And then they finally came up with a bond for me for that charge. So I was thinking, oh, I'm going to post bond and get out. Well, Gwinnett County still had a hold on me from those burglary charges, right? So I didn't, I posed a bond and just went straight to another county child. I'm like, well, at least at Gwinnett County I didn't have to fight. Right. You know what I mean? But I ended up sitting in there for two years until I finally, I I went out to trial and like, well, I didn't go out of trouble. We pleaded out and, you know, I got out. Yeah, that was, I was, I was say, I'm sure you've heard this before. That was a, that was a, that was my, my buddy of Zach.

That was, his thing was like, he actually had new charges and they gave him a bond. But he was on federal probation. So his federal probation had been revoked. So he's like, you know, all his whole, everybody that knows him was like, why don't you bond out? Like, your bond is nothing. He's like, don't you understand. I'll bond out. And I'll, as soon as I walk out the door, they'll pick me up and bring me to the federal

fucking holdover and I won't bond out like I might as well stay here you know that happens all the time like you've got outstanding warrants they're like bro your bond's 10 grand for a grand you can get out no like if you haven't been through the system you don't know how it works well I we we bond it out because they my family called up to the jail I was like hey does he have any kind of hold on him right they said no right so you did bond out they they posted the bond but then I never made it out because then the whole thing you knew and you want you wanted to be moved no oh okay i mean i'm well you're in you're in i'm gonna fuck what county you know like yeah it sucks that it was rice you know but still well you said the other one was better it wasn't necessarily no not necessarily

better because rye street actually yeah i got in a lot of fights but you got free time you open the doors open in the morning you're out all day you do what the fuck you want you know what i mean whereas when i count of you're locked down 20 hours a day in your room like i like i said i'd rather be in Jen Pop. Yeah. You know? It's funny how different all the different facility. Every facility is different.

Yeah. Some of them will, no commissary and they feed you like shit. Other ones, they feed you good and you've got great commissary and you're out and you're like, you know, then they've got multiple TVs. Other ones, they don't have any TVs and they don't. It's like, Jesus. It's one extreme to the other. Some of them and some of them won't barely feed you the, they won't barely feed you enough calories to stay alive and the food is crap. And the other ones will feed you great.

like oh yeah but federal prison wasn't horrible it wasn't bad food federal time is actually easier time it's just it's just but they don't have the parole is the suck part of no well in the time they give out they want the time yeah they don't want the time and you're they can send you so far away right which with me they said i i okay well i get out on the uh the aggravates i attempted murder charge and uh get back into the same thing against you know and uh we had recently just just rob some doughboys so i had over it's a given a thousand ecstasy pills you know and so i got set up by an undercover right right away you remember the restaurant beniggins yeah yeah so this is probably are there still benningans no but no you but back in 2000 there was oh they were

everywhere it's like sizzler chilies there's still chilies right like chilies of benigans so we're like rivals it's almost the same thing right but it's yeah so i i remember that I and the reason was weird because it was a I got set up by a girl that I bought coke from you know and I'm like she couldn't be something she literally sells shit to me herself you know what I mean but um so like I said I was undercover and I was unloading like a whole bunch of these ecstasy pills and back then they were just ecstasy pills it was not all this MDMA and all this is this happened back in 2000 so um I end up and it was like we went into the benigans and he was like you know I met him up, bet him up.

He was like, all right, let's go out to the car, make the deal, you know? And so we get in the car and, like, he's counting out of the money. And the next thing you know, I mean, like a van, like, literally blocks the back of the car and swats like jumping out. And literally a helicopter is lying above the Benigans, you know, and it's like full on, like, on me. You know what I mean? And that's the third time I'm incarcerated for, uh, disingenuous. distribution, right, and sell. So then this is when I go back in to count.

Is this federal? No. This is still a state, right? So then I, that's when I would serve my, my third term and my final term, right? But in between that time was when the incident happened at the TGI Fridays. Ah. So in between that time, me and three other my gang members, two of them happen to be brothers, with our girlfriends

or happened to be eating at TGI Fridays and the guy that I had shot happened to be eating at the same restaurant and he saw us you know but we never saw him I never had an idea

he was there we were just eating and like he called up and like literally about 45 minutes into our meal we look outside and like there are like there's a mob on there like 20 guys five six cars

out there you know and um my guys they tell me like look you're already on parole for the you know the 10 murder like you and your girl need to just get in your car and leave we got this you know what i mean and that's what i'm saying band of brothers man like really you know what i mean uh so we get out and like i'm parked like over here and here's the restaurant And they're parked, like, right up against the wall the side of the restaurant, like, my, my other, my other boys, right? So, like, I'm getting to my car and I'm looking over there, and I can already see them, like, having, exchanging words with the other side. And these guys, they got, like, bats and shit, too, you know? Now, number us, like, you know, four or five to one, you know?

So I see one of them, like, I guess get close and then. My buddy's older brother swings first. He hits that guy first. I mean, he's a college kid. He's got absolutely no gang affiliation at all. He was just out having dinner with his brothers and a couple of his brother's friends. But in the same breath, these are my little brothers. Right.

And you're not going to sit here and just, I'm not going to stand by and let you guys just, you know, beat them up or whatever it is. So when I saw that happen, I said, screw that shit. I hop out and I'm over there. I'm next to you know I'm fighting four guys. And I at the time have a gun on me. But I'm not the type to be like, shoot first. You know what I mean? Like I'm okay with like, hey, we could throw hands and I'm okay with that.

You know what I mean? But as I'm fighting these four guys, I hear gunshots break out. You know, and I don't really know if it's coming from my side, their side. you know, I start unloading my own shots, you know, after the aftermath of that, because after the gun starts going out, it's basically everybody clears and they're hopping in their cars and, you know, everything's going on, that I see my, my friend's older brother on the ground, you know, and at the time he was still like, you know. And even at the time, they told me, get the fuck out of here. When the police arrive, you don't need to fucking be here. Right. You know, like, you know, like, that's that that that that love that you know so I left I left and I actually went straight to the hospital on that medical and um because you knew they were going to be I knew he was going that way right because yeah so I was there and I was also informing family stuff like that because they're all on the scene you know I'm I'm letting people know

that hey this has happened he's probably going to be going to go night medical and at the time he was still talking and like coherent they had been shot in the stomach. Turns out I hadn't been shot like four or five times. You know, um, on the transport to the hospital is when he, he, he passed. Right. You know, and the brothers were riding with him in, in, in the ambulance. So when the brothers come out of the, I guess, mercy or whatever, like, we could all know that like he was gone. You can see it in that face. And it just, it crushed me. Like, their mom was there, father was there.

I mean, I just, it destroyed me. It destroyed me. Because, you know, if it happened to one of us, I mean, we're a casualty of war. Like, we're a part of the game. Like, this is the risk that you take. You know what I mean? But he just, he was just a good college kid, man. Like, he had no affiliation, nothing like that.

But, you know, all he did was love and protect his brothers. You know what I mean? And, like, yeah, it destroyed. destroyed me you know um so then you know that happens and then like they arrest like 20 of those guys right because they start telling on each other and all this so they all get incarcerated into guinnett county jail right but then they start telling us so they eventually a whole bunch of them get out and they're left with four guys right one guy was the guy that hit him with a bat knocked him down one guy was one who actually shot him one guy fired rounds but didn't hit him and then

I think one guy he was the brother of the other guy I don't remember exactly but they ended up saying okay well y'all four are going to be the ones that we're going to charge with right first-degree murder you know and you know it was premeditated because I mean literally y'all sat in a parking lot for like 45 minutes waiting for us to come right with a gun with guns and bats and then and all this stuff you know and all that but then um so those guys are those guys are locked up and like six months later is when i go down with the the drug charge right so i'm in county jail in the same county jail with them but they knew to keep us separated right so like i always had to bounce around because if that had to move one around they ended up having to move me around so i never ever got a chance to

see any of them the time i was in county and and on this trip it didn't take long you know i was in county for like maybe six six months boom trial i mean i took a plea i got sent down to prison you know what i mean so how much times yet i had a 15 do 10 okay right so i went i went down to prison but it was a drug charge though so at least this one was like a nonviolent so parole came up pretty quick you know um but anyway i was down in prison i was all the way down in uh wheeler kind of which is like three four five hours outside of of Atlanta, you know? And like a year later, the DA comes down to my prison to talk to me, the DA that was doing the murder case on my friends, right? And he was like, you know, we want to bring you back up to county in case we need to call you out as a witness on this

murder case, you know? And I was like, you know, that's fine. You can bring me back up there. But you know, if I see any one of these guys, I want to try to kill him. You know, and he's like, no, we're going to protect you. Don't worry about it. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, okay, fine. So like a couple weeks later, I hop on the blue bird, going all the way back to county.

So I get back to county, go back in the county cell and everything, and then two days later, we're going out to court. So the way they do is they call out the pause. They go stand in line. There's a north hall and there's a south hall. Right.

Right. So we're in line to South Hall that call us out of court, and I look up and like, 20 guys in front of me, it's one of the four guys. You know, and I'm like, at this time,

I don't want to bum rush and tackle them because literally there are like five, officers on this hall right pushing us down it's like it's not gonna really get i'm not gonna even get to them you know so then we go down to the to the crossway and then they line up the the south hall just kind of goes first and then i'm seeing the other three and but right so we're all this one big line going towards the holding cell to go to court right so i'm thinking okay any second now they're about to pull me out of this line and separate me so they're going into the cell going into the cell I'll say, I'll make you know, I'm in the cell with them.

You know, I'm shocked that you were even in the same facility, but I see it, but I've seen it happen so many times. Right. One guy's on trial and three of the witnesses are in the room with them. Like, they're moving them all together. It's like, what are you doing? Like, that's just. Yeah. I don't know how they mess this up, but you know, I'm glad that they did. You know, so when the door slammed shut, I stand up. And I'm like, okay, what's up now, motherfuckers? you ain't got your guns we can either go four on one or i can go down the line and kick your ass one on one at a time what do you want to fucking do you know and like one of the guys from myself like yo man calm down calm down i was like calm man because i you know these i consider my brother's like hey he killed my cousin like this is you know he's like oh man do what you got to do bro you know

and the guy that i shot was one of the guys you know and now he he can walk now it wasn't like it was like a paralyzing injury or anything and this is like years later he was i remember him sitting on the bench and the other guys were sitting there was like well the bench here bench here bench here you know and three of them were sitting here he was sitting here and i'm in the middle just monologing yeah and uh basically and then i remember he says it's not that we're scared of you motherfucker we don't want to send you to the hospital you know and i was like what and i said walked to him he stood up I deck him and I'm just welling on this guy so what do you think the other three guys do they go banging on the fucking door calling for the police right help oh debby debby

you know so they get in there and they yank me off this guy whatever you know and then like one of the officers looks on his clipboard and he's like he sees that I was supposed to be separate he just slams the fucking flipboard slipboard I was like fuck goddamn da da da da da da da da da So whatever, they separate us, transfer us to the courthouse. And then at the courthouse, I can see the DA come out. I was like, I will have y'all's fucking job if you cost me this trial. It was gone off on it. I mean, the guy's going to court.

He's got a fresh shineer on. You know what I mean? And like so, but they ended up not ever using me in the trial at all. Did they, I was shocked that these guys went to trial. Like, this is just that, like, that's, it seems like, it seems like the one guy you said that you had shot. like most likely if he didn't hit him with a bat and he didn't shoot at him and you know what I'm saying either way he's the one that saw you the reason he's in that that's why this whole thing is he that's why he's one of the he saw you he starts calling people so you call these people here to do this to do this

like and you're coming with firearms right like yeah you're not coming to maim you know what I mean you're coming with bad this is conspiracy to commit murder yeah you told your buddy's here to kill this guy yeah right you know and and like So like and I and I mean it's it's it's it's bittersweet but at least I got at least to put my hands on them You know what so what did they they all end up getting life sentences are you serious they all getting life sentence they all got less sense and you know hearing through the great fine I told you Asian motherfuckers down in prison our food right definitely know two of them are sucking date you know the funny things you know the term fuck boy out here you hear the term fuck boy I don't know about right

the term fuck boy is a prison term yeah that was gonna say it means it means something totally different. Totally fucking different in prison. Like somebody called me a fuck boy out here. I feel some type of way about it. You know what I mean? Because a fuck boy is a man. You, you're not gay, but you're sucking dick. Right. And you're doing what you got to do because you don't want to get beat up or what the fuck ever. That is a fuck boy. You know what I mean? So like, it's weird that, you know, out here they call like these guys that are like, you know, womanizers, but in prison, that, that's, that's, I was saying it's like calling somebody a bitch out here is vastly different than being in prison. Oh, yeah, it's extremely, extremely different.

I mean, something like small, like you're sitting on my pillow. Right. Like, we're, or, you know, like you don't sit on another guy's bed. You, if you are, you at least say, hey, bro, there's nowhere to sit. Like, what do you want? And guys would be like, hey, you can sit on my bed. Right. But you wouldn't walk in and sit on someone's bed. Like, because that's the only little piece of property that they have. Right. You have to respect it. Because if not, then nobody else. The mentality is always like, hey, that if you do it, everybody else thinks that they're going to be able to do it. And it's like the TV, your space in the TV room, that's your little piece of real estate. Even if you're not there, don't sit.

In my chair. Or don't even sit. Like, if I take my chair, like, don't sit in this space. Right. That can be a problem sometimes. Guys come and say, you're in my space. I'm watching my fucking show. Yeah, I know that's my space.

Why? Because I've been here for 10 years. That's my state. now it's a problem. Yeah, it's a problem. And then now it's like, who's going to back down? Right. Right.

And so like, with me, it's never back now. You know what I mean? But I was going to say, like, to me, it's funny because like I had been at the low so long, like I had a space. And I didn't, like, I didn't give a shit. Like, I didn't give a shit about, I didn't give a shit about my space. Like I was like, because I would walk in and I would say, and everybody knew me. And I'd say, hey, bro. I'm saying, oh, no, no, no, sorry, sorry.

It's not a big, you know, and they'd move immediately. Right. um you know and then i had other guys in tv room who would say yo bro don't sit there that's cox's space right and then so guy or did you ask him and they'd come and ask me i'd be like you don't have to ask me i know but kinney was there and kitty wouldn't let me sit right he said you would have a problem i'm like i'll give a fuck like i'm not that guy right i don't care as long as when i'm coming tonight i'm going to watch my show at seven so you know what you sit there that's fine and then guys would have they would have um contracts you have you ever the guys would have contracts on stuff

where like you'd have a contract with someone where he could sit at your space except for this to hold it down almost. Right. And then guys would have contracts on like food. Like you'd have a contract on like I, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I get your bacon. You get my such and such.

You know, I'll give you my hard boiled eggs throughout the whole week. Oh, go, I paid a guy two soups every week to wash my underwear. Right. And they'll call it a contract. Like we got a contract. Yeah, yeah, no, no, I got you.

I got you. He got two soups, he washed my underwear. I have a guy that rolled my cigarettes. Like I didn't, I wasn't very good. And in Georgia at a time, you could still smoke in prison. You can't know more now. Right. But I obviously couldn't afford, they call them Cadillacs if you're out.

They're smoking Newport, you know what I mean? So we had a rolled cigarettes. So he would, like, I think a box, a kite or tops would come with like 30 rolling papers or something like that. So he would roll me 30, roll cigarettes. And then whatever tobacco was left was what he was allowed to keep. Right. For himself. And he'd have to go get.

papers on his own you know what i mean but like yeah guys would clean their room clean your oh yeah absolutely clean the room twice a day or so not twice maybe two three times a week some guys every day yeah um some these guys are super you know i'm i'm very i was very fortunate that my mother was was there for me like uh she i had a consistent 60 dollars a month that got put on my books it was i could depend on it and six dollars may not sound like much but like man in prison like yeah yeah i i i i i i i I stretched that out, like I didn't have to hustle for my cigarettes. I didn't have to hustle for things.

You know, I hustled just because I wanted to hustle. Yeah. You know what I mean? I had, you know, I taught the real estate class. So you'd have 40 guys show up. But only about 15 or 20 wanted to actually be there. The other guys wanted to program. And so I'd say, look, you know, bring me, you know, a coffee and two creamers.

And you get a certificate. I'll sign you in. I'll do the test. I'll do everything. It's a hustle. yeah and i everything is a hustle have my so initially within a week of the beginning of that class i had at least four months worth of coffee and creamer in my you know then you could tell as the as the classes or as it got towards the end because it was slowly going and it's funny i would never run out

like before i even ran out i'm touching my next class same thing it's full again they remember they call fingers of coffee because they would take a glove and they would put coffee into a finger of a glove and tie a glove off that would be one that would be like one pack of coffee so you would sell it by the finger how many fingers of coffees is you need right you know so that that's that was the thing uh also you know the store man you know you two for three three for five yeah yeah you know what i mean yeah the store man guys run a store that they have their their um locker is a store and so if somebody comes and gets gets like they would give you like whatever you know two honey buns Yeah, two honey buns and you give them back.

Three honey buns. That was the deal. And you get three honey buns. Three honey buns. You get five. You know what I mean? So that was there. That was their hustle was the, you know, Mike that was here, the cocaine.

Yeah, Mike Hudson. He used to come probably, you know, once, maybe once a month, he would run out of coffee. He'd come and he'd go, Matt, I, I know, what do you need? You know, I'd go get an envelope and I'd fill up, you know, he'd like, he'd like, he'd like, like two days where like a couple days i go to the store i'll get you don't have to get me back i'm good i'd put a bunch of coffee in the in an envelope folded up and see and i think you're a lot like me in the sense that like i was just a cool guy yeah like we said like our superpower is kind of get people to like you right yeah so like they called me china man like i was the only china that was my name nobody

nobody know my government name you know what i mean like china man that's what i was my nickname in there hey china man hey china man you know what I'm saying and so like I was just that cool guy and like I I could facilitate certain needs kind of like read from uh um Shawshank Redemption right like if you need something like hey I might be able to know somebody that knows somebody and I and I pretty much try to stay out of the politics you know what I mean like that's when you're getting into to shit and luckily for me I didn't have to because I had my I had that $60 a month that I could always depend on you know what i mean but i mean even i ran tattoos in there i had a little tattoo gun you know

made out of a cassette tape motor and all that you know because back then they were still cassette tapes we didn't have i'm remember the time that i was serving like cell phones weren't even out yet like internet was brand new um you know all that stuff was sold new that like they were still selling because the walkmans on on now they use the they now they use the um you know the electric razor they use the the it's the same little tiny so it's all you need is that one battery to go but no the little the little engine thing that spins yeah the motor yeah the little motor that's all you need that motor you know they take it out and they make a they actually make like a gun that is amazingly like a like a fucking tattoo i mean i can show you like some of my

prison tas it's it's crap you know what i mean because what it is is they'll take like a spring off of a like a ball, a pin, and they will light that spring up and stretch it all the way back straight again, right? And then they will take one edge that spring and use the concrete to sharpen it up to a point. Do you know what they're using Coleman? They use the guitar. The guitar string. If you could get that in. If you could get that in. See, that was a lot harder to get furious because everyone's wild, a whole one would disappear and they shut the whole guitar, they shut the whole, you know, instrument room down and they yell at everybody and somebody get fired and it doesn't matter. We've got enough for about a year.

The guitar string is the best because, like, you're only using certain amount of pieces of it. So you actually get a whole bunch out. But, yeah, but the spring or the guitar spring, and they would hook it to that motor and they run it to the top. But the neat thing is, how did they come up with the ink, right? The ink was smut. Yeah. You know, they took, like, basically baby oil, lit it on fire and, like, encased it with, like, paper. And that ash that came up on that paper, they would scrape off and mix it with, like,

toothpaste or something like that and that was how they made their i mean it's ingenious like some of these prison guys would do they make wine they make all yeah they how you figure out how they'll make wine they're like they're like they're like artists well what did they call it bomb bays would call bombays like uh like hunch punch right they would make in there you know they would take you know leftover uh peelings from apples and things like that from the kitchen or rice or rice or whatever and this is hiding it giving it enough time to ferment and hiding and then releasing the pressure just in that because it'll like they'll put it in like a jug and then you have to

so it it you know expands of course so they have to keep you have to know what the timetable is to be able to go in and keep letting it out a little bit here a little if you don't you could be sitting somewhere here yeah and all of a sudden the water or alcohol or first dripping out fucking seal it or something or wherever you got to hit it yeah i'm assuming that's where he had the the bombay right yeah and it takes time but man it's ingenious how smart these guys would do things like i could like light a cigarette by popping an electrical socket you know like a light switch socket i stick my key behind it and i'd stick some foil in where the switch is and i'd run a pencil across that foil which would spark and i'd have a little piece of toilet paper with shredded on the end

and catch that spark and that's where i would have my light and i'd light my seat and i'd light my seat right up yeah i use you guys the batteries where they would take oh yeah the batteries with the two yeah so they they take like let's say you get um uh a potato chip you know the potato chip bags right that are like you know they're shiny inside right they would take them and cut them into a thin strip and they take a little like a a uh a double a battery and they just they take it and they they put touch the ends and that actually lights up it gets it'll get hot it'll light up like you turn like like a live wire and they like they're like they're shit out like these guys are they're genius same you'd be shocked you like you're in the

shoe and these guys would do the the thing where they the what they call the kite the yeah yeah the message like these guys would shoot it underneath the door something heavy and and it and you've got string they take the string out of their thing and they make it from the they take it from their betting yeah and they would sling it and it hit the wall shoot over hit another wall and shoot over and go right in the doorway that's a hundred feet away to another in the hole you have nothing else to do right so like they want to get a message to that guy over there so the do is they take the string like a thread and they tie it to like a pin cap right like just a cap that you put on a pin and their kite or their note would be within that pin cap right

and so then they tie that pin cap and literally they are shooting that cap out and if they don't hit their target they're using the string to pull it back to them to take another shot sometimes they like a dominoe or something right yeah just anything with some weight yeah they just do this and you're you i would watch my my cellie do it and you do it enough times you get really good at it he'd be like fuck and you this guy this is the kind of guy that would do it three times and he'd hit he'd little hit and then in it he'd open up and the note would say bro i need some coffee then that guy would get an envelope fill it up with coffee tie it to it and then be like all right and then he'd tug it back yeah he'd pull like you'd be in there with your celly you want some coffee

man i don't have no coffee you know what and it would take like it would take like maybe five hours to get that note over there but you ain't got shit else the fucking do yeah shit doesn't do like wine and the other inmates would help like it might shoot into the another and they knew and they knew not to look at the no yeah they knew not to look at the note you shoot it to another if it go because sometimes you shoot it would literally go like this down and you shoot it into that guy's thing and he he knows he really he's not supposed to look at that nose you know what i'm mean it's kind of like a code you know what i mean you know it's funny the um the cos in the in the shoe uh when they would walk like when i was going to the shoe one time like there were lines all through the

hallway oh yeah and they'd see the cop coming and all of a sudden they'd start pulling them back in and you see all these lines sliding across and sliding into it was like it's like a spider web in reverse this is this is happening because it's just in there you have no you have nothing but time nothing else to do to entertain yourself if nothing else just getting that note down there entertained you for five hours oh and what a feeling of accomplishment oh yeah this is insane this is my life that's how low my expectations of like my out of life or it's so low that i'm going to spend three hours trying to fucking you didn't even want any help i got you bro no i want to do it right or you might just be doing it just a you know pass on a mess

You know what I mean? Hey bro, what's up? How are you doing down there? Yeah. That was two hours. There were things that we used to do, you know what we would do. We would pump toilets, right? From the toilet and then I could talk to my next door there through the pipeline, the toilet.

So in ACDC, the women's dorm was either like above or below. And these guys would they get rid of all of it and they would sit there and talk to some girl three stories above them. They're like on a date. guys would be like, bro, I got a date at seven. What? Yeah, yeah, there's chick at seven. Yeah, through the toilet. Yep.

I mean, it's just ridiculous. How horrible. And all of that, too, but the toilet also is, there's a vacuum. So like, if you were to just be smoking. Yeah, they would flush it. You could just blow it down to that toilet and it would suck the, the smoke right down in there. I mean, there isn't genius. Some of these guys in there really are, if they were, including myself.

If they actually took their, you know, their smarts and everything and just push it in the right direction, they could be, they would be successful people out here. You know what I mean? They have all the skills to be successful, but they're just using it in the wrong avenues. Yeah. Like I said, including myself. You know, you say, I, your, your grill with the, the things. So there. Do you see what actually, do you see what actually says?

No. What is it saying? I can't, it's something, is it, something land? Panda. And it says panda. And it actually has a panda on the last name. You gotta show it on this camera right here. Hey.

Oh, go down. There we go. Yeah, they have to get that to, have to get him. Yeah, I was gonna say when I was first got locked up, like I've been locked up, I don't know, like a month or so. And I was in Oklahoma City. going through Oklahoma City, there was this black guy that we were all in this one holding cell, right?

And there was a black guy. It was probably 50 guys crammed into a room probably maybe this size. Yeah. Maybe 70 guys. Maybe not quite this big. And I remember there's this black guy

who clearly was working out and taking steroids. He was massive, right? I've had to find a few of those. Well, no, I mean, I didn't fight him. I'm just standing. I'm saying it sucks. I'm just standing in the room with him.

and I glance over and I thought fuck this guy's massive and he's standing there I don't give myself that time to think that because they'll talk myself out but he's just sitting there because keep my most of the people going to the transfer center have

like they've half of them have been arrested either they're going to another prison or they've just been arrested so you're just sitting there like you're still kind of like in like just numb and he's standing there it takes time to accept the fact that like

your situation And so we're just sitting there, you know, waiting to be called. And he and I kind of, I look, look, I just happen to look up at him as he's like kind of, we're both kind of looking around. And he looks over at me. And he goes, and he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he never seen that before. Right. Right. Right. And this guy looked like a bigger version of blade.

And so when he does that, when he kind of smiles and I see the teeth, I go, holy shit. Like that. And he goes, and he laughs. He goes. And then he laughs And I went Bro are those really? He said

He said they're in there I was like Fuck You look like a fucking superhero And he just started laughing He's like bro You start You could tell

He must have just gotten arrested For something He was laughing And we're just Everybody's super quiet Like they're quite Unless one or two guys Might know each other

And they're talking But it's funny Because I've mentioned this Before there's An old man there Had to be in his 70s Or something Maybe 80s

and he looks wait sorry the old man says um i go to the restroom and he sees the door and he walks over to the door and grabs the door and it goes and it doesn't open he goes hey they got us locked in here and i and i said reality check yeah and i went i said yeah it's probably going to be a lot of a lot of locked doors like that and the black guy goes what are you here for like that and he goes I just was, I was just, my, my, my daughter, she's more than my, my, my granddaughter, she's one of those, those, those, those, those, those, those, those, she's gay. She's well, and I was just, she asked me to videotape her and her friend. Yeah. And, and so, you know, then they, they said, we should put it on the, uh, the internet. And so then they, they came and arrested me. Yeah. And I sat there and I was just like, and look, the guy, like the black guy, like looked at me and he goes, like what like i was like like he would have got beat up right then at that moment yeah well he we was you know we were like a transfer center but it was so he we just looked at i said at all i could think of was like you are so grand that you should have know to kept that shit you're you really

that's a bad like even though i know you phrased it as best you could you could put that not phrase that in any way yeah i mean it yeah i was thinking you're done like no matter what you need to learn to shut the fuck up if that was the best version he could give you need to learn it the way up you got him and you could tell he just he was just clueless yeah he's an old man he's like an old man he he didn't fucking know the door was locked and by the way there was a toilet like right over here i was like bro there's a toilet over there oh that's how you that's how you know who's like really been there like that somebody was not going to waste it wait they're going to go take a shit yeah they're going to go take a shit like he's looking around like well there's all these

people in here it's like that's going to happen too no yeah i mean i remember my first time sitting in the hold of cell and then I remember every every time after that you know what I mean it's definitely uh it's definitely different once you've been down there before but yeah like he yeah and it's funny because the same thing you said like there are people that I knew in prison right that when I got out the internet had now AOL this is when you still had dial up and everything like that and I could go on and search the Georgia Department of Cretions on some of these people and like I'm like dude you were fucking bad about I had no idea you told me some story that you beat some kid after school with a baseball bat you know what I mean like and then it was so

intricate story that he told me like I'm thinking you're in there first I've got aggravated assault and it turns out you're out there molested little kids you know it always kills me is that they typically you know what the lie is when they ask what are you here for it's oh fraud you got to pick fraud like you can't say drugs or like not that anybody's going to believe you we're selling drugs like just looking at these guys it's like you're not selling drugs but fraud you got to go with my crime And then I would have to be These guys would ask me to come

And check them Yeah they'd say Cox that dude here says he's a fraud Go talk to him I'm like I don't want to talk to him Why? And they go just go go find out Here's what he's saying and I go fuck That's nothing information is everything Everybody wants information with Well I was in person power

Well I was going to say I'd walk over and listen like You knew within like you know another drug dealer All right especially if he has no idea If you tried to talk to me about drugs like Bro I can't fake it I can't tell you I don't know what they the cost i don't know where to get it i can't you see it in a second same thing with the fraud guys i'd walk over within within three minutes i'm like yeah he's got he had pictures on his computer right

and i'm walking away like it's it's it's it's obvious like you know they would get the names of the charges wrong they couldn't tell you what they did they couldn't tell you how they did or they didn't want to talk about it at all like oh my my lawyer said not to talk about it stop it bro right that's already tells you something yeah you know no these guys that i'm in there like They had these stories, them telling them that they've been telling their life for so damn long that they actually probably believe he'd be so kidding about, you know, and it was just one. I just kind of randomly went on there to look for myself. Yeah. And then I was like, you know what?

Let me just type in some of these guys that I knew. And it was just like, man, I was like, man, I would have never sit there and talk to you. Like that, that is a true thing about that. Like, you know, about rape and like, molestation, like on kids and stuff like that. Like, guys, they definitely do take that. a certain way in prison. Yeah. Because, like, for example, I knew a Sully that I used to keep pictures of his kids up, right?

And then he had noticed his roommate one day would, like, be like, like, he, like, when guys are in there jacking off, whatever, you know, you get the little thing, yeah, there's a little cold, you know, hey, I need the room for a little while. But he would notice his pictures would be moved. Like, it wouldn't be put back in the exact right spot. And that was it, bro. This you got so bad, they wouldn't let you put your pictures on the cork board, you know, in your cell. You had to keep them in the, in the locker. Yeah, we didn't have a cork board. We had a cork.

You guys got TVs in your, in your cells, too. No. I heard some feds you got TVs. No. I know the food was good. You say, ped. The food was compared to when I first got there, it was really good. And then just about a year, well, maybe six months to a year after I got there, they went on

what they called the national menu. And so it just immediately got to be much worse. But in comparison to state prison or even what you expect inmates to be served, it wasn't bad. There were some exceptional, at least once or twice a week, you got a meal that you're like, damn, that's like street food. Yeah, that happened to us at Christmas.

Yeah, yeah, Christmas. The holiday meal. The holiday meal. That's the only time we get. And I would buy as many of those traces I could. You know, and then you obviously package, you know, you get like the holiday package where they could send you like some. Well, no, we, the feds actually gave us that you got a holiday basket.

They actually gave you one where they actually gave you food, you know, and it wasn't. So I'm going to say it wasn't shit. Like it wasn't like anything a lot. It doesn't matter of fact that you can't have it. It's the fact that you can't have it. It doesn't matter what it is. It's the fact that you cannot have it.

It's the fact that you're giving me something. thing when I'm an inmate in prison, you're giving me what's probably $10 worth of food. And it's, and it's, it's, I remember this guy, uh, used to say he's like, they're exotics. So because it was something they didn't sell on commissary. If they didn't have it on commissary, I paid probably $15 for a bottle of soy sauce that a guy can't guy got transferred over. There's probably $1.99 in the store at his store at that other camp, because commissaries are different based on where you're at. So when you get transferred over, you're bringing your commissary with you.

And man, those are exotics. Like, you know, things that you just can't. If you just can't have it, man, that price goes up just like drugs. Oh, my God. Like, the cause of drugs and in prison is astronomical compared to, like, the markup. So my cousin worked in facilities at Coleman. And he knew, they knew about six months before they were going to go that no more cigarettes. Like, you could have.

I'm so glad that I didn't. But he knew. But he knew for six months. So what he did, not only that, he, so he went to his boss and said, listen, there's fucking, there's tools everywhere. Like, it's hard to keep it in touch. Can I build a board where we can actually put the tools? And he, his, his boss was like, that's a good eye.

Yeah, definitely. He's like, like, I need like three of them, like one over here. We can put two here. Can we have the stuff? And he's like, yeah. So he built these boards and then traced all the tools. You know, had it. Oh, yeah.

like how they should be but because if you're going to make something the cover something you're going to make it look good but it was framed out in a two by four and if you remove like four screws you could peel it back and he so now he's got a four inch by six feet by you know four feet section that he can stack all of the cigarette so he's like we had he's like and keep in mind too he said initially they were selling the cigarettes for like almost double he said within a month and a half two months they're buying now it's like five times six times what they were buying them for so he made they made thousands he and i think this guy weeks that i knew i think they both like just were stacked stockpiling that is the hustle now even when i was in rice street it's funny uh the trustees at rice street the guys who brought the trays down around and stuff like that they were allowed to have cigarettes in their commissary but like other inmates weren't allowed to have it right and And every time you see the trustees come around passing out trades, I mean, they got gold chains on.

Every ring, every finger has diamond rings on it because at Ricey, you are allowed to bring up one piece of jewelry, a watch or a ring or your necklace or whatever like that. And these guys were literally trading out like $10,000 chains, four or five packs of roll up cigarettes. You know what I mean? These guys are nuts. Yeah. And it's not, and it's another story. I'll tell you, I was sitting at the holding cell at Atlanta City Jail when I was, after the, after the murder. And there was a guy in there snuck a Snickers bar, like you said, snuck a Snickers bar to the holding sale, right?

And there was another dude in there was like, hey, man, what would you take for that Snickers bar? You know? And the guy's like, no, man, I don't really want to give it up. You know what I'm saying? He's like, come on, man. What was you getting for that stickers bar, right? this guy peeled out like a diamond ring a gold chain i'm probably talking about like at least like 15 20 thousand dollars worth of jewelry for that snickers bar and he gave it up for the

snickers bar because it's just like what is this going to do for me right now like this might be the last i can't bring it with me they're going to take it from yeah like he's like i'm i want the snickers bar right you know what i mean like like it's just you always tell the guys that are about they got arrested that know they're about to do 10 years like they just got arrested and they know and the guys that got arrested that think they're going to get out and they're this like they their priorities are completely different

and that's what kills me is like you know I'm sitting in a old cell somebody's talking and I'm like you're in there for a fucking goddamn D-UR or some shit like you're about to be you're about to be home or you're sitting here crying about this shit and I don't know if I'm going to be in here for the rest of my life for all I know

you know what I mean like that also like Colby Colby's heard me say this I was sitting at the medium one time and I was complaining about my time I was like I'm fucking be like 60 years old when I get out and they were I was sitting with like three guys and one guy was like I got 30 more years and the other two said I'm never leaving yeah and I remember thinking stop complaining bro nobody gives a fuck about your problems don't tell about time also like when the day I when I found out I got parole right I was like nobody knew I don't tell anybody yeah yeah and then they but the day that I left I walked out handed to my boys on my things like hey man I see you guys that was a it like because people get jealous people will fuck you up just because they know that like hey you're about to go home and they're not they start hating on you yeah they start really despising you and trying

to get you into trouble and trying to start fights with you it's like they because this guy's got 10 more years or 15 or 20 or maybe life and he just he just looks at you and you're going home in a week and he hates you for that he's jealous and and it's a real thing it sounds stupid but it's a real thing and this could this person could even be your friend right you know me it could be a friend of yours that like still feels that way like it's just you just don't tell anybody i don't tell him about like literally they found out when i was walking out carrying all my shit you know what i mean like you just don't tell people you know zach and i had a buddy named uh john gordon that literally just disappeared one day knew he was being shipped never told and we spent i should you not two years with john gordon

every single day we hung out with him and talked to him and joked with him and super smart guy funny guy like i would have told you 100% we are all good good as good as good as a friend as i am to zach and john gordon just disappeared nobody's ever seen him since i know and i always kind of said like this too like when you're in prison it's like you're dead right because time stops for you at that point all you do in prison is regurgitate stories that you've that you had when you were free right because you're not talking about nothing out you're just telling war stories right so time for you completely stops whereas outside the world the time's still moving but you stop maturing too yeah everything stops you just you're stopped

at that point in your life that is what you are and you do not get any any any better right right and and like when people come to visit you it's like I say it's like come and visit a gravestone you know what I mean until you get out and that's when time starts back for you again like you i went in with like pagers when i when pages were around that's when i when i got locked up i come out and there's dial-up internet like i'm telling you i was dial-up like imagine me coming out like an ipos i never seen an iphone in my life yeah yeah yeah i came out with like they they had like cell phones and dial-up internet the amount of porn that i because that's one thing they did take away in prison.

They took away all the magazines, right? So that was a hustle. I had several pay. I didn't have whole magazines. I had pages from some. You know what I mean? With the tape over. Was it?

Yeah. With that I, that I would, this is a hustle too. Yeah. You want to borrow my girl. Yeah. It costs you a honey,

buddy. You can borrow her for to get you your, you're straightening, right? Yeah. So like, man, I had masturbated the same girl. wrongly on all many times right i get out of prison i'm like the internet i don't think i left the

computer for a week at i mean it was just it was crazy like it it just it blew my mind the whole internet thing just blew my mind and that was only like three years yes and i was only three years because because from went from so from pagers and when i got out it was uh cell phones and it was right when those no key upones were having like everybody everybody has had snake i don't know if you're around during that time the game snake you remember and they had like the different that's when i got out right so like now cell phones were like mobile and text messages all this was all new and you know all i knew was pages but that is now the hot item in prison cell phones yeah like those are i mean one cell phone will go for thousands of dollars in prison you know um but i'm hearing now they're giving

out like tablets. Yeah. You know, I think, yeah, they've got tablets out, right? Yeah. And things like that. It's just, it's just different now, but like the tobacco is the big thing. You know, you know, how they get it in nowadays? You know, before, you know, the tennis ball or they get it through presentation, right? Or they're an officer, the drones. They're doing the drone drops now. And that's crazy that that, that's how sophisticated that they have become to override the system, to get away get around the system like it's always a way to get around that you're gonna figure something out they're gonna figure something out because they have nothing to do but time to think about it right you know what I mean nothing else to do but time to think about it like I mean just like

the guy from Shawshank Redemption look how many years it took him from to dig out that hole with that little stupid rock hammer you know we had pressure in time pressure in time and I was just say it we were talking when we were talking about like the not being concerned about prison anymore like that's how I feel like now like the prison isn't a deterrent for me was a deterrent for me is that I'm too old to go back to prison like I'm I like I can't lose any more time out here I wouldn't care if I to go to prison for five years like okay fine the problem is now I have to start over so I'm not scared of being in prison I'm scared that I have to start over I'm an old man what am I'm saying like I don't if I was 30 years old right now if I was 30 years old

and I would have been twice as bad as I was when I was actually doing my crime. I would have been much more reckless now if I went back in time because I would be thinking going to prison I'm not concerned about because I know I can, I know I'll be okay. Yeah. So, you know, now it's just time. It's not the, it's not the fear of going or being in there. It's the fear of losing your freedom.

Right. The fear of like, hey, like now we have, I don't know how old you were when you went. I was very young. so now I have responsibilities that you know back then I didn't have a responsibility so it was there's no big deal but now I go in who's going to pay the mortgage he's going to take care of my kids like you know they're there they're there they're there ramifications now that are way more important but back then you know I didn't think about those things so how old were you the last time you got out it happened in two I got out in 2003 what did you start doing then like I'm assuming at that point you decided that I can't do this again believe it or not it was kind of like a stroke of luck here um so one of my guys like like you said your your buddies and they're like you know your click yeah right one of my guys got out six months after me right and his mom was a um administrative assistant at a big accounting firm right and so they hire people to come in uh seasonally to help out during tax season right so he got me a job

there as a temp that ended up turning into a career a 20 year career like I was actually at a corporate auditor for affordable housing for a top 10 for a top 10 accounting firm for 20 years you've got multiple felonies that doesn't matter well because you work underneath them well it's actually funny because I I literally lied on my because back then in 2003 it wasn't as easy to run a background check as it is now now it's just they got companies out there like you know I couldn't even get hired for Uber right you know what I mean like the even though my last crime was like over 20 something years ago it doesn't matter you know what I mean like but uh what happened was I went and it was happened Katrina happened right and after Katrina happened and the

Gulf Coast was like annihilated right the U.S. government gave Mississippi and a billion dollar grant to fix right to help to rebuild to rebuild so they hired our firm to implement a process and how to delegate out this money okay right so they sent us to mississippi to oversee these centers that had these people coming in and applying for these grants right so i was i was sent over there for like six months you know overseeing a center so that's a nice chunk of money, like relocation. You get paid a lot more if you're not necessary. We did get a little bonus, but it wasn't not, it wasn't necessarily, you know, I mean, obviously expenses are paid. Thought it would be like a traveling nurse. Like these chicks are

going from, they would be making 60 and now they're making 150,000. Yeah, no, it wasn't nothing like that. Oh, okay. But what happened was because it was a government funded program, we had run background checks on all the people who worked there because we hired people that were our locals there. we oversawed them but on the back end they ended up wanting to have to run among us because we had to have the clearance right right so then I was like this is already too late I had already did the job right so I was like fuck this was like five six years in right I'm like I went to my partner closed the door first thing he said to me was like please don't tell me you're about to quit and I was like no but that doesn't necessarily mean I'll still have a job when I walk out this door right and I laid my cards on the

table. You know what I mean? And it was very like hush-hush. It was, I worked for two partners. I was going to say, is this your buddy's mother? No. Oh, she's, she's definitely worked at him. She just got you the job. Yeah, she's got a job. This is a partner of the firm. Okay. And so it went from him and my other partner that I worked for to guys. And then they went to the head managing partner of the Atlanta office. Right. And then he had to fly all the way to Bethesda, which is where our corporate headquarters to talk to the partner over HR about it. Because immediately, it's their, their, their, uh, their proper way to handle is immediate termination. Right.

Right. But they found, they saw that I was an asset. Because by then you've been working there forever. I worked so hard and I'm an asset. I was bringing, I was bringing up money. So then they were like, you know, they went to talk to her and what all ended up happening was just like, look, us four people know that's it

right we don't ever tell anybody else something we're just sweeping under the rug because the reason why is let's say something happens there on the line another guy happens they fire him and he's like yo what happened to panda why didn't panic get fired you know what I'm saying like you know so

it was all swept up in the rug so that was like five six year into my career I stayed in it another 15 years you know what I mean right and unfortunately I actually got let go about a year ago, you know, from the job. It broke my heart because it was like, dude, I was loyal to you guys for 20 years.

You know, like my boss was loyal to you for 20 years and you threw me away like a piece of trash. You know what I mean? Like, and was there a reason? Just they were layoffs. No, it wasn't even a layoff. It was, it's really kind of all the mystery, honestly. Like, it kind of came out of the blue.

There was no severance, but it wasn't a firing. they were just saying that my position has is no longer has been dissolved that they don't have that the need anymore because i was still making them a lot of money you know i was bringing in the firm probably like five six hundred thousand dollars a year easily covered my salary right and they were making a nice bit of change yes they probably could have hired somebody else cheaper than me you know what i mean but honestly like you know i'm only here only making that because you guys gave it to me i mean right for 20 years of loyalty that's why i kind of mess with my head man it's like you know these trust issues right yeah trust issues like so like yeah let me go and then now

i'm finding how hard it is to get a job with it like i said i got turned down by uber right and you got remember how humble humbling i had to be to like you know yeah i'm working i was like a corporate auditor with the office for preceding for 20 years You know, and then now I'm, I humble myself to that and it still can't get a job. Like, it's just that, that thing carries with you forever, you know, and they don't care how long ago. They don't even give you the opportunity to even explain it. They don't care.

And you know what? My charges were so bad. Like, I hit every point. One, perglary's. So I'm a thief, right? Two, aggravates Alzheimer's, I'm violent. Right. Three, drugs.

I mean, I mean, it doesn't matter what it is. Look at a job it is like you I'm going to hit the strike mark on that all the worst employer's potential so like even though i have like 20 years of experience it doesn't matter yeah it doesn't matter at all you know so that's why i've kind of like branched down that's why i'm even doing this show with you right now because this was a deep dark secret i could never have my career with this being out there you know what i mean but now i found out that that that career doesn't matter anymore because there is no potential there anymore so that's why i'm like i'm i'm coming out from behind the curtain i'm not going to be that because i used to wear a mask

i mean obviously you know i can't wear corporate america walking in like yeah yeah you know what i mean for 20 years you know but now hey man i don't have to be a mask but i don't need a high behind a curtain obviously you know i'm just going to be me and and let the world see who I and and figure out well I mean just being you doesn't pay the bills what are you doing for for what are you doing right now for a living what are you doing for I'm still looking uh I'm not looking in in that route I'm looking more of as an entrepreneur right so uh I've created a school curriculum I was there I went back to Vietnam you know yeah I went back to Vietnam last year for the first time and in my entire life in 40 years first time I ever went back

since you were six months old yes so six months old i went back for the first time and honestly i was in a dark place you know what i mean like i had like depression issues and and things that i mean trust issues you know right and it's all it's on my bucket list to go back you know what i mean so i myself went back for a month and it just opened my eyes to a completely different way of living and like culturally like over there when they hung up their home horn at you. It's not like a fuck you kind of thing. It's like hey, just letting you know I'm here.

You know what I mean? It's it's a courtesy. Right. You know what I mean? Like you'll see these intersections that have like no stoplights and there are like a million scooters and cars that are just going to the internet and yet there are no accidents because people just let people go. You know what I mean?

It's just it's just a completely different lifestyle and it kind of like kind of rejuvenated me that like hey, this is pretty awesome. You know what I mean? Like, and so like, I was trying to think like, what, what ability to do I have? You know, so I can teach you Xinyosh. You know, so I'm creating an online school that I could teach.

It's like, they're 12 hours apart from us. So, like, my classes would be like 7, 8, 9, 10 p.m. here, and over there would be 7, 8, 9, 10 a.m. Okay. You know, and I'm looking for, and this is a totally new venture. I haven't like completely, I've already created my own crew. curriculum right and everything but I now have to go get the students you know so we're we're in a phase right now where I am trying different avenues right so my rap thing is is one avenue the school is one avenue also I'm considering maybe opening some kind of business here

because being your own boss obviously it doesn't matter what your record is right you know what I mean so I've been living on I had to like liquidate my retirement to be able to last for now whoa you know I mean it sucked that that really that really that hurt but it's kind of like hey the bills keep coming the kid I have children you know I mean so but I'm in that like hustle mode you know I'm I'm in the hustle mode I'm I'm now not afraid to tell my story anymore like my rapping is a lot of like street you know I mean and and and they're not lies they're just like they're it's just real life shit that I went through but the difference is a lot of these rappers nowadays like 21 average and they're they're living that life right now like they're they're rapping about

their life right now that's why you're still getting shot that's why I still going through all that shit with me is like hey I'm just telling you about how I used to live it right you know I mean because for 20 years I was not you know some gangster like like that like you know I was a corporate guy you know yeah and a model citizen you know for 20 years uh but you know now circumstances have led to to things so like I'm looking for avenues honestly I'm hoping maybe this might even be a jump start for something that might be able to help me you know what I mean uh so I'm always just looking for different avenues uh I do have a very good network in Atlanta a lot of people know me uh so I am now just starting to reach out and try to see

like I don't want to have all mags in one basket, but whichever basket happens to be one that takes off is the one that I'm going to focus manage on. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. You have what's making your money. Exactly. So, you know, I have, like I said, my own channels. I got music that I got out and we'll just see what happens to take off. What channels? I'm like my own. I got a YouTube channel and I created it and it's got some of my songs on there. It's like if we sample some of the songs that you guys hear some of the stuff. What's the name of the channel? It's all panda. Panda?

Yeah, I'll send you all my, uh, all my social links. How did Panda come about? Because you've never mentioned Panda before. I mean, other than the teeth and then the, the, the, well, the thing is I kind of feel you myself like Panda's an Asian thing. Right. Right. Uh, and, but people forget that pandas are actually still fucking bears.

Right. You know, they're cuddly and all these videos, but you keep forgetting that they're a fucking bear still. You know what I mean? Like, so. That's kind of like, I feel like I am, right? I come at you in a very smiley way, but inside, it could go bad. I'm a fucking bear still, you know what I mean?

Like, don't get it twisted, you know? And like a lot of things have happened. I don't know if you noticed that my limp when I walked in. I noticed on the Instagram page, you have a brace on one of the legs. Right. So what happened in 2009, I was hit by a drunk driver. And I was on a motorcycle. Mm.

And unfortunately, he had no insurance. illegal, right? So I was in intensive care. I went through surgeries and so basically I lost the use of my right leg. I have the leg. I just don't have the nerves. Right. Because basically my right foot was here when I showed up. It means I was laying on top of my leg that folded under my body. Not to mention, you know, you see here, made these arms broke down. I'm bones thing. I was like Wolverine. You know, my left leg was also broken.

They didn't think I was going to survive. Like literally, the first responders that showed up treated it as it was going to be a homicide. They roped off the scene and collected evidence because they thought that there's no way I was going to make it. That this guy was going to have to be charged

with a vehicle homicide. But I made it. I didn't have any brain damage. Yeah, maybe. I mean, you know, Jerry's still out of that. Ain't no more than I've done to myself, you know. How long were you, was it to recover? I mean, to this day, I'm still, you know, I still take medication over for it.

I still have like nerve, like nerve ending pains because the nerves ripped, you know what I mean? So, but it took, it took a while to get to where I was right now because, I mean, at that time, remember, both arms, both legs were broken, but bones heal, you know? So, like, I was literally like, I couldn't do anything. Right. You know? And that was a very humbling experience, you know, to, like, have someone have to take care of you that you couldn't do. I couldn't brush my own teeth. Yeah.

I couldn't take a shit. Right. You know what I mean? Like, it's a humbling experience to have to go through that, you know? But it taught me, you know. Then I went through a breakup after that. I was in a seven and a half years relationship. We got engaged.

And then, like, part of ways. So then I kind of basically, like, I was a shell of myself for a while. After that, I was like a hermit. I just didn't. I was in that dark place, and I stayed there. You know, I was in a house by myself. I got a dog. You know what I mean?

And he kind of saved me, too, because he wasn't necessarily emotional pet or anything like that. But he forced me to be like, look, I need you to feed me. I need you to take care of me. You have to get up off your ass because I need you. You know what I mean? But, you know, it's a funny story because I, my buddies, I have some really good friends out there that I just wouldn't like let me just wither away. Right. You know, and they would, you know, before that, I was a big, I'm a big social person.

I'm extroverted. I'm at the clubs. I mean, I'm, you know, I'm an Atlanta socialite. and they kept trying to get me to go out again and things like that and I'm just like man I can't do it with cloud crowd I got made up every fucking excuse under the sun not to go right and so my buddy told me it was like you know what can you sit down I was like sit down yeah that's one thing I can do I can sit down he's like I'm gonna take you to a place that all you got to fucking do is sit in a chair a trip club that's exactly where he fucking took me

That's what Colby was thinking. That's exactly where he took me, right? And yeah, I've been to Mons in 2001 Space Odyssey for her two. But that's where it took me, but that's what brought me back. That was my rehabilitation. That'll do it. Because what happened was in Atlanta is $10 for her dance, right? So for $10, she's going to listen to you for the next three, four minutes, you know?

So I might as well talk. Then I learned to find out that, hey, girls would look past. this if your game is strong enough you know what i mean and that kind of brought my confidence level back to becoming the panda that you guys see now you know because the way i look at it is like this when i walk into any place because of my disability every fucking eye in there is on me right you know you don't notice like let me ask you if you're walking down on aisle and at Walmart and three people are coming down the same aisle and one's in a wheelchair which one is one you're looking at the one in the wheelchair you can't help it it's not malicious yeah it's just different your eyes are

just trying to look at the different you're not used to it right you're just looking at the difference right but from the eye of that person in that wheelchair every fucking body is looking at right you know what I'm saying so like when I walk into the gym I can look around and make eye contact with fucking everybody you know it takes a certain level of confidence to finally just say you know what if I'm gonna be in the fucking spotlight I'm gonna look good in it it and I'm a fucking own it. You know what I mean? Because I'm already going to get the attention anyway.

So let's go ahead and rock this attention. Right. You know? And it's because of the Strip Club. I always say confidence is a catch 22. Right. What builds confidence? Success.

Right. But how do you get success? You have to have the confidence to go over there and try. Right. All right. But once you get success, that success builds that confidence up. So now that confidence gives you a more, a chance to go out there and try in, right? So the more success you get, the more confidence you get.

So like now, my will is like this. You know what I mean? Like, I don't let this define me. If you ask me about it, I'll explain it. I don't have a problem explaining it. But I don't need you to be like, when they say, hey, you know, Panda, I don't want them to be that to be the first thing that comes to mind to describe me. Yeah. Now, you know, the funny guy, the guy, the grill, the rapper, all those, now, if they still don't know, okay, the guy with the limb, let it be the third, fourth thing that comes down the line. You know what I'm saying? Because that doesn't define me. And it's funny because I meet people all the time. And like, the third time I'll meet them, they're like, oh my God, did you just get an accident? What happened to your leg? Like, I was like this every fucking time I ever met you know what I mean? But you didn't ask. I don't care. I ain't tell I. Yeah, I didn't notice anything until I saw the, the picture. You know what I'm saying? I wasn't even thinking about it until, you know, you mentioned. I was like, you mentioned. I was like,

like oh that's right yeah he's got the picture that's why it's funny it's because like in my rap songs and stuff you don't limp or it well i didn't see you live and you didn't look like you but i do you know but you know like i just i just i don't care i own it and it just i don't i don't give a fuck what you think about i'm at the point where i just don't give a fuck what somebody thinks like you don't pay my bills you don't fucking affect my life i may never see you again why the fuck do i care about what the fuck you think i don't it's funny when you get how you get to the point when you're older anyway Like in general, just in, you know, you're so concerned when you're younger or whatever he thinks and what they're talking about, what they're saying. And as you get, you get older, you know, there's, you, you start to realize that you just don't care. Because I can't think. Yeah. I saw this thing that said, they said, and then when you're in your, like, your 50s and 60s, you realize that nobody was ever paying attention to you at all. You know what? Now that I don't care, but now, guess what? They never did pay attention. But see, when you're young and like when we're in prison, that reputation mattered. Yeah. Right. That shit, that shit mattered. Like, I got girls when I was young because of my reputation is.

the rep right now now that rap don't mean shit you know what I'm saying like I don't give a fuck what you think you know whatever you know I mean like if it's a brand or something like that yeah I'll listen but it's like honestly like if you're not like doing anything to benefit me what why do I my your opinion doesn't mean doesn't shit and like I'm the type that like if you're a parasite I'm gonna remove you trash belongs in the trash I don't give a fuck what it is you know what I'm saying like so like negative energy all that shit I I I'll leave a wait a minute.

Question. What is this? The green one. Oh, it's Jade, right? So this right here is Guan Yu, which is the, it's kind of weird because it's a Chinese. He's like the god of war. Okay. Right.

And I got a lot of rash from that accident. Yeah, yeah. Well, this is the recent accident. Yeah. Right. So that's one, you right here. He's on a horse. which is right and that's him here okay that much more he's the Chinese got a war

which is weird because this is Chinese but yet the dragon and stuff is like the yakuza like Japanese yeah I saw that I thought of that when I saw yeah is the is Japanese but to me it doesn't matter it's like it's Asian I'm Asian whatever well the same thing you know what I mean but yeah that's who he is you know and like you know would you get that i got it in vietnam yeah i figured that i got in vietnam uh and and an asian culture jade is a very big thing is luck prosper you know prosperity and things like that so like being an asian guy i i can pull this all what's this one that's just a dragon okay this is dragon uh yeah nothing special um but yeah man that's uh

I said I I conformed for 20 years like I was that you know guy but you know what still even in those 20 years like I was still panda like I uh when when I was when I was time for me to be when I was at work I was I was that guy yeah I wasn't mask but like when I'm on my time I'm going to be me like I own over 200 some pair of Jordans right why do I own 200 pair of Jordans no idea. Because when I was a kid, I couldn't have them. Right. Like, we shopped up pay less. You know what I'm saying? Like, if I, if I, I had my, I remember my very first pair of George that he got game 13s, right? And the only reason why I had that pair was because I took it off some kid off martyr. He happened to wear my size.

You know what I mean? Like, there was no way mom was paying that money. I was going to say Bozac, it's funny you say that because Bozac at one point when he was really like making money, he had like a hundred and some odd pairs of like uh i want to see of of nikes he had all the special ones and all this he had a he had like a that's why that's why tyler wants me to meet him i guess you know what i mean i guess it's got a lot got in common you know but um yeah i it's a guilty pleasure yeah and to me it's almost kind of like it really is kind of still like investment their whole value like if shit gets the van like i can sell them and they have value yeah you know is

oh he's sold and he now he'll buy shoes and then he'll wear them, you know, for whatever, a month. Or you wouldn't have made five times within a month or two, ten times. And then he'll sell them. Yeah. You know? So I even know there was a kid at the gym where I was in the halfway house. I worked at a gym that my buddy owns.

There was actually like a couple of kids there that actually went and they did something like they stood in line to get new pairs of Nike's. and then they sold them like and that's all they did they sold it to people right in line yeah they were they sure they try i don't know what they did but they traveled around they did this all the time they they had they had all these nike scam like not scams but they weren't scams because they were just legitimately saying i have these they're basically upselling into the secondary right and they had a whole it was a whole thing was like that's what their jobs were and it's like that's a fucking job that's still now yeah that's still now this was only a few years ago well back then like well the jordan game used to be very where they were

very elite they came out once a month and now they're coming out every other weekend you know every weekend i think he's fucking that up where he's kind of flooding the market with a little bit then now they're not as prestigious as they used to be but back then yeah i was waiting in line at linings mall or you know i had a guy you know or some kind of plug now they got bots that literally will go online and and buy them off these websites and then they go to resell you know what i mean but yeah like But I was never a guy. People called me a sneaker head. I'm not a sneaker head.

I buy shoes because... You have over a hundred pair of Jordans. Yeah, but it's because I like the colors. I buy based on like a color to fit in an outfit more than, more than like, hey, is this one like hype? Right. Like, is this one like super valuable? I don't care about that. I actually hate it when it comes along like that because if there's a pair that I did want that is hype, now it's going to be harder for me to get that pair.

You know what I mean? But, like, yeah, I buy them based on, like, just a lot of my tags are, like, Panda and J's. Like, you know, I'm a panda that wears Jays. You know what I mean? Like, but now I kind of, kind of step my game up. I like a little bit of designer. So, you know, I'm, which I shouldn't because one pair of Versace's, I could have bought, like, four four shorties with, you know.

But, yeah, shoes is kind of like my, my guilty pleasure, definitely. And, and, and clothing. And I like to kind of like going on my own lane. You know, like I said, once you get, once you stop giving the shit what people think about of you, you're just going to be yourself. Right. You know? Yeah.

And I think a lot of people, you'd be surprised how many people like step up to me and just like, hey, man, I really like your fit or, you know, I really like how you rock this or whatever, you know, but I didn't do it for you. I did it because that's how I like to wear it, you know what I mean? And, but yeah, apparently a lot of people do, do like the way I dress. and I've been sent like as an ambassador those send me free products so that I can like I mean I wish you got to the point where I like Gucci and shit was maybe one day I get big it up where Gucci is sending me free shit to wear their stuff but you know it's just little

stuff here and there but yeah I mean kind of consider myself a little bit of a trend center yeah people always tell me to write my memoirs because like I've been through so much tragedy in my life like I've been through some some hardships why don't you write it because i'm all i'm waiting for the happy ending oh we had this conversation right and waiting for the stop right it doesn't you know that's irrelevant because if it's going to be a motivate if i wanted to be a motivational story it doesn't have to be a motive necessarily motivation uh um just could be entertaining it could just be for because you know for prosperity you know for prosperity for what's what am i trying to say um popularity no

because that's what it really is about i'm about the money yeah to preserve it yeah let's Let's just say that. You know what I use for that? I use Facebook for that, believe it or not. We might have to clip that out. Posterity. Posterity. Posterity.

There you go. So yeah, it's for posterity. You know, just to have it all written down. And if you start writing, you know, whatever, you take a week and write an outline. A little bit. We'll write like 30 minutes a day and slowly, you know, I definitely got to start here. I'll say about dictating. I've actually had broken down chapters.

Right. And then you turn around and say, okay, well, now I'm going to write this story. write this story in this story if you start piecing it together before you know it a year from now you'll be like holy shit i got a whole fucking memoir here no i don't i don't the the the doing it i don't think is the problem it's the me wanting it how it how it ends you know what i mean you can worry about that later if that happens at all if it happens at all you know maybe maybe it could be a tragedy yeah maybe it you know you know who knows it doesn't have to be anything at the ending i mean it's it's you know some endings are just you know somebody walks out of fucking

prison it's like like that that book you know the hurt about the hurricane the guy that you know was locked the box like yeah like it was like you know oh it's a happy ending it's a happy ending he spent 30 years in prison for something he didn't do there's no well they let him out it doesn't matter i promised you that ain't a happy ending so you know there doesn't have to be a happy and a happy ending could just be like you know i'm still going and you know i love my life and i've you know things are working out and i'm still you know i'm still in the struggle but i love it that's good enough things aren't working out but we're hoping that they will you know i do try to keep like because when i talk to other people a lot of people tell me i should be a motivational because i'm like

that prep i i'm a hell of a a pep coach you know what i'm saying but sometimes it's hard to even take your own advice sometimes you know what i mean like sometimes it's easier said than done like i see a uh psychiatrist and a therapist once a month you know i have demons right you know um so like Because one of the main things that I have PTSD from my accident. Right. And it's fucking can't imagine. And it's the one of the worst PTSD you could imagine because it's like I woke up on the ground conscious on the floor, broken. Right.

I look up. I can see it. It was like around 8 or 9 o'clock in the evening. I see a street lamp. You know? And like I was just, I was a practicing Georgia Southern Baptist at the time. But this was the day that I lost all. right i basically saved my own life with my own intelligence i basically assessed my own situation by saying like

one i don't feel any pain so i know i'm in shock right now number two i can't move so there are definitely things broken number three i'm getting very very tired i know i'm losing a lot of blood right right So I'm like, okay, I'm losing all our buzz. You see in the movies all the time, they say, don't fall asleep, don't fall asleep, right? I felt like I hadn't slept in months, right? And I have no interaction. That's just me and my own consciousness. And I'm looking up at this light and I'm like, as soon as I don't see this light anymore, I'm dead.

You know what I mean? And I sat there for 15 minutes, like literally slapping myself in my conscience to stay awake, you know? And it was the hardest battle I've ever had in my entire life, those 15 minutes, you know, because it was just so much easier just to say, I'm going to go to sleep. Like, I just was, I felt like it's so, so now I equate losing consciousness with dying. So mine have like massive insomnia. Right. You know, because like sometimes I'm like, I feel like I'm going out. I'll jerk back up.

You know what I mean? Because my body just doesn't want to let go. You know? So, like, I have, like, that's like, the worst thing. It's like, it's like, Freddie Krueger's shit. Like, you're scared to go, you can't go to sleep. You know what I mean? Like, you know?

And so, like, yeah, like, that's, and that actually really only just popped up recently. I hadn't always had that. It was after the pandemic. The pandemic fucked me up, man. I'm such, like, an extrovert that, that isolation. it caused my brain to get all kinds of fucked up and like trying to cure it is like even my therapist says like curing your PTSD it's not these drugs that I prescribe you it's you have to

be able to do it yourself you have to go into your brain and like cut it off but you tell me that how the fuck do I do it you know like how do I tell myself like hey you know like go to sleep you're just going to sleep man no idea just go to sleep you know yeah yeah do that but then my body just jerks up on his own you know what I mean like I just but that that is like a horrible fucking thing that to deal with on a daily basis right hey if you guys like the interview do me a favor hit the subscribe button hit the bell so you get notified of videos just like this and leave me a comment the comment section and share the video really appreciate it also please consider

joining my Patreon see you