Matthew Cox | Inside True Crime Podcast - I Was Wrongly Convicted To Life In Prison

Episode Date: May 26, 2026

Erico Montalvo, a young man wrongly facing life in prison, endures years of uncertainty and isolation before finding faith, self-control, and hope while fighting to prove his innocence.⁣ ⁣ Rico's links - ⁣ https://www.instagram.com/ricostillmadeit/⁣ https://linktr.ee/Ricostillmadeit⁣ ⁣ Do you want to be a guest? Fill out the form https://www.insidetruecrimepodcast.com/apply-to-be-a-guest⁣ ⁣ Get 10% sitewide for a limited time. Just visit https://GhostBed.com/cox and use code COX at checkout. ⁣ ⁣ Shop my merch: https://www.etsy.com/shop/MatthewCoxCollection⁣ ⁣ Send me an email here: [e-mail]⁣ ⁣ Do you extra clips and behind the scenes content?⁣ Subscribe to my Patreon: https://patreon.com/InsideTrueCrime ⁣ ⁣ Check out my Dark Docs YouTube channel here -⁣ https://www.youtube.com/@DarkDocsMatthewCox⁣ ⁣ Follow me on all socials!⁣ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/insidetruecrime/⁣ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@matthewcoxtruecrime⁣ ⁣ ⁣ Do you want a custom painting done by me? Check out my Etsy Store: https://www.etsy.com/shop/coxpopart⁣ ⁣ Listen to my True Crime Podcasts anywhere: https://anchor.fm/mattcox ⁣ ⁣ Check out my true crime books! ⁣ Shark in the Housing Pool: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0851KBYCF⁣ Bent: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV4GC7TM⁣ It's Insanity: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08KFYXKK8⁣ Devil Exposed: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08TH1WT5G⁣ Devil Exposed (The Abridgment): https://www.amazon.com/dp/1070682438⁣ The Program: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0858W4G3K⁣ Bailout: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/bailout-matthew-cox/1142275402⁣ Dude, Where's My Hand-Grenade?: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BXNFHBDF/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1678623676&sr=1-1⁣ ⁣ Checkout my disturbingly twisted satiric novel!⁣ Stranger Danger: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BSWQP3WX⁣ ⁣ If you would like to support me directly, I accept donations here:⁣ Paypal: https://www.paypal.me/MattCox69⁣ Cashapp: $coxcon69 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Not available in all states. They charged me with a first-degree murder, and they wasn't supposed to. The case went viral online, fallen soldiers slain by gang members. I looked like a thug. He looks like a just citizen. Never have I ever seen anybody win trial for murders.

He's going to have to do at least one life sentence. I can't even help him. And I'm growing up with a mom that suffers from mental disabilities, bipolar, schizophrenia, things of that nature. So it's an unstable home to the point where I end up having to bounce around, she can't keep me, she lives off disability.

So I'm in the system. I'm in foster care, group homes, and then eventually training schools, some cities call it boot camps and stuff like that for juveniles and youth. And so it's tough on my mind because I don't suffer from any mental deficiencies, but the first image of a person

that teaches you basically how to have a personality, for me was my mom, it's unstable. Right. So I don't have a solid foundation to walk on to know what's really a stable system of feelings. So I'm always insecure as a kid. Not to the point where I'm shy and I'm weird, but I'm not sure how to be,

how you say, I'm not sure how to talk with conviction on how I feel, and I would let that persuade me and influence me into different lanes. Were you getting in trouble or? You start noticing, all right, you can get attention for different things. You can be the smart kid in class.

You can be the, the pretty girl in class, you could be the privileged kid or you can be the bad kid. I'm not super genius. I'm not, you know, super privileged with all the fly clothes, but it's easy.

I can be bad. I can slap this teacher, knock this desk over, and people will laugh. You know, kids, they pay you the most attention if you can make them laugh. So you do something like that,

oh, he's crazy, oh, my boy, you know what I'm saying? And they show you love and you build relationships off that with the kids that are the same as you. So it starts early. And you start putting yourself on this level of people that are like that. And if you have an unstable mental towards who you are, you start thinking, oh, this is my group of people that I fit in with.

So then elementary turns into middle school. Middle school gets more advanced. Now being bad is not smacking your desk or knocking the teacher down. Now it's smoking a blunt in the bathroom or cutting class, yo, let's go. We out. Second period. Let's get out of here. So it's evolving. And you and your mind, you think you're with your group.

You know what I'm saying? And I remember as a kid, I was slowly but surely starting to think there's two groups of people in life. There's good people and there's bad people. And they both go find their way because you have people who are bad, like, let's say rappers. They're famous for being criminals and they glorifying their lifestyle. And they also made something out of their life. So I took that as a kid like, all right, you can just fall into one of these groups and it's you against the other. And that's what it is.

my journey of a person started to form. Okay. So by the time I'm 16, literally I was in a gang. So I had probation because of my little in-and-outs, and probation would be like be in the house at 9 o'clock. It'll be dumb stipulations that I never would follow. So to get my attention, they would violate me and make me go to training school for 60 to 90 days.

I would be in jail and I would go to, like, chapel just to get out myself. You know what I'm saying? And when I'm in chapel, I remember the pastor, his name was Pastor Mike. So Pastor Mike used to come with his guitar and he was sing and preach to us. And I believed in God. I wasn't fully sure, but I had been in and out of training school so much going to see Pastor Mike. I had an understanding of what God was. And deep inside, I kind of was veering towards believing more than now. And so I would go on myself and say prayers, like how we do when we're in jail. And I would say stuff like, yo, I would talk to God like I was talking to a person.

And like, yo, I know I'm doing bad. I know my life is messed up, but I got good intentions. I just want to protect my friends. I'm justifying my gun violence. I'm justifying my gangbanging in my prayers. Trying to feel like God will understand me somehow. And I know I'd be lying and cheating on my girlfriend, but I'm just young and I don't know what I'm doing. So I'm starting to build a relationship with God slowly and surely.

But I'm not like committing or anything like that. It's just through these little training school experiences, I'm realizing who God is from going to Pastor Mike. and I would say on the very last time that I saw past the mic was in that 90 days that I did he said this sermon and he did his little songs and then he started preaching

and he told us about a part of the Bible where there was a gardener and the gardener had one plant or it was one tree in specific that wasn't bearing any fruit the owner of the field told the gardener like yo that tree right there

is not bearing no fruit it's taking space so cut it down and throw it in the pile, I'm gonna burn it. And the gardener spent so much time tilling that tree and putting in work to try to get that. He's like, yo, hold on, let me get one more year with this tree. And if nothing happens from now and that year, and it don't bear no fruit, then I'll cut it off

and go throw it in the fire. So the older gardener tells them, yeah. And for some reason, deep in my heart, I'm like, I felt like that was for me. Because I don't know what it was. Like something inside of me felt like, like God was talking to me through that message. And I started reflecting on all the times that I had been in and out of that training school

and all this little delinquency I had going on since young, but I've somehow miraculously escaped. And I've escaped a lot of problems. And I've only went to training school for minor issues and none of the real stuff that I do. And I started thinking, damn, why could that be? Maybe somebody's tilling me and trying to grow me and nurture me to be a treat that bears fruit. This is processing in my mind. And I'm thinking, like, I feel like that message is talking to me.

So I leave out of the service and I go to my room and I feel like a deep conviction in my heart. Like, I felt like God was telling me, you're not bearing fruit. I'm going to cut you down. I just felt that. I'm 17 at the time. I'm not fully sure, but I have a strong conviction that this is the case. So I remember saying a prayer like, yo, I'm really young and I'm right there. I'm close to doing what I want to do in my life.

Give me some time and then I'll give my life to you and I'll stop being this type of person. I remember that was my exact prayer. I was really inside. I was like, nah, I'm not ready to let go on my lifestyle. All my brothers love me. Everybody, all the fans love me, you know? So I end up finishing that 90-day sentence.

I get out July 3rd. This is the reason why I mentioned July 3rd to you. I get out of training school. I'm going to turn 18 July 10th. This is my birthday. So that day, it's a movie. Everybody, oh, bottles on me. Let's go to the studio.

I'm going to pay for your session. Everybody's together. It's a bunch of us. And this is my first birthday free because I was always in training school for every birthday. Well, I was always in a program or a group home. I never got to really experience a birthday free in the world. On top of that, it's my 18th birthday. We're out and about the next.

night is progressing. A lot of people are starting to come about and come around and the night's growing and I'm drinking, but I'm not drunk. I'm just staying nice. And I'm going about the night. We go from the studio. We go to like a little get-together. And I remember specifically, I look around, I'm in the front seat of my friend's car. I look around and I just realize like, wow, like I'm free. I had just been locked up a few days before. I'm like, yo, I'm free. Look of freedom. I'm looking at the open street. And all at the same time, a thought came in my mind and there was music blasting. It was gangster music and I'm bumping my head. But I'm thinking to myself, you just promise God that you was going to at least try in these prayers. And then I

look left and I look right and my own flesh told me, you're free. You're in control. Nobody can stop you now. And I kind of like shrugged. I physically shrug the thought of like, whatever. I'm out now. This is what I thought to myself. Like, I'm not going to jail. I don't want to. I'm in control. So it's already late in the night. It's about, I'll say it's 1.30, kind of. It's 1.30 a.m. So we head to a Walgreens. We get like a Hennessy bottle. One of my friends has the bottle in his hand and he's pouring it out on the ground for our friends that's past. People call that you're pouring out some liquor for my dead homies. Right. You know? So he's pouring some liquor out. And my other friend is fully drunk. He's like

pissy drunk. But the thing about him, he's an aggressive drunk. You can't contain him. It's to the point where you can't be with him or he'll be your responsibility. He's in your car for instance. And he's acting crazy. Right. You brought him here. You're in charge of him. He's one of them. So he notices my other friend pouring out liquor. And he's like, yo, what are you doing? You're wasting liquor. And they get to arguing about the bottle. Mind you, it's not even their bottle.

They get the going back and forth. They're both feeling nice. I'm in the backseat. They start arguing. As they're arguing, let's say me and you's arguing. And in the middle of us arguing, your phone rings and you answer it. And I get mad. Don't answer your phone.

And I grab your phone out your hand. You're going to be like, yo, what are you doing? He grabs his phone out of his and he runs out the car. My other friend gets out the car behind them and they start chasing each other around. As they're chasing each other around, they're fighting, swinging on each other all in the parking lot. This pickup truck stops what they're doing

and it's like a pickup truck full of white boys and they're like, fight, fight, fight, fight. And they're trying to see a fight. So as they're doing that, I try to be Captain saved the day, and I'm like, you know what, I'm going to get in the car. I'm going to go drive to them wherever they are because they ended up running off, and I'm going to make them get in the car and we're out of here quick. I can't drive that good yet at the time.

A lot of my time, I'm in group homes, I'm in training school. I don't have parents to give me a car, teach me how to drive, nothing like that. I got a little tiny bit of what I think I know. And I've been drinking a little bit, so I think that I can really probably drive. So I get out the back seat and I get into the driver's seat. As I'm backing out, the pickup truck behind me is at an angle, basically where my tail light is. Because they just stop suddenly to watch a fight. I'm thinking that I could squeeze out of this space and fully parallel out and go around the Walgreens and start looking for them.

As I'm paralleling, I end up skidding the side of their truck door with the bumper, with the back bumper of the car. So all I hear is my truck I look I stop the car I get out I look I don't see a scratch I don't see a dent I'm young at the time

I don't know that a few like disputable matters you got some money here give me some money I won't call the cops I don't know this at the time I'm thinking if there's no damage then I'm good

so I look I don't see a scratch I don't see a dent I was going slow enough to where you know so I start coping deuces because I don't want problems. I really just, my main objective is to get my friends and leave.

What's cop induces? Basically, I just don't want any problems. I start telling them, yo, listen. Right. I'm sorry I hit your truck, bro. I don't want no problems. Right. I'm just trying to get my boys and get out of here.

So one of them is poking his head out of the car. No, some trucks have a pickup window that opens like this. He's poking his head out the window. He's like, yo, it's cool. He's like, yo, I'm humble. He's like, yo, he's talking. But all I heard was is cool. I'm humble.

And in my mind, that was enough. Mind you, I'm in a rush. My mind is going fast. I get back in the car. I'm thinking we're good. I fully back out. I start going behind the Walgreens because my goal was to go in the backseat

if they was there, go fully around, try to find them because they ran off chasing each other. As I get to the back of the Walgreens, my girlfriend is still in the back seat. We was both in the backseat. I just happen to rush into the front seat So as I get to the back of the Walgreens

I hear it say, yo watch out, watch out, watch out And I hear, Boom, they come cut me off To where I hit them One of them gets out the car I hit the break He's like, yo, you don't got no money Where's the money? I'm like money

He's like, yo, we need some money We need something I'm like, yo, I don't know what to tell you I don't got no money I had small tennis chains on I had two of them He's like, oh yeah, you don't got money This dude is a big burly

looking dude, beard, just look like a lumberjack. He's like, yeah, you don't got no money? He reaches in, he grabs my chains, pops them right off my neck. They're skinny chains. One of these chains, the girl that I was with at the time gave to me. So she goes crazy. She gets out the car and she's punching this big old dude in his head and it's like a fly on him. He just, he just gets back into his truck. Now she's in his window. She's trying to punch on him. I get out the car behind her. It happens so fast that the car, I never, put it in park. So I get out the car and I try to go behind the car. And as I'm going behind the car, his friend, the one that I was talking to initially through the window gets out. Right. So now

he attacks me. I'm on my way to get the girl and now I get attacked. Just dude's punching on me. I'm trying to get away. He's chasing me. He's punching on me. I can't even get to the girl. I got a knife. Is a car still going? Is it rolling? Is it rolling? Is it rolling? It's rolling slowly. I have a knife on me. He doesn't know this. I always bring a knife outside in case it gets hectic.

If it's real problems, I got real problems in the street. I'm in a gang. I can get a gun if I need to. But I'm just out for my birthday. I feel safe. I'm with my friends. Let me pack a little knife

just to keep people off me, if anything. A situation comes about where I have to use this. This dude's putting pressure on me. I have a knife. I use my knife. I get them off me. I get to my girlfriend. What do you mean you use a knife?

If you pull the knife out, you stick them? I pull the knife out. I hit him enough times to get him off me. He backs up and I instantly turn my attention. Once I turn my attention, my girlfriend is in the dude's window trying to punch him. Right. All he got to do is flicker. She's going to fly.

Right. She's probably like a buck 20. So I'm on my way to grab her. as I'm on my way to grab her one of my friends that was with us that pulled up remember I said it was two cars he pulls up to the back and he's like get in

get in so the door flies open the back seat and I just run and dive into the back seat and I'm telling her come on but he peels off so we leave her we peel off

now we skirt away and I'm yelling damn damn I left her we can't even stop to get her. So now we drive away. I go to another friend's house. I calm down. I'm in his house.

Do you realize you've stabbed this guy? I realize him, but all I know is that I stabbed him. Right. A knife doesn't mean automatic fatality. Right. In every instance. The reason why I even have a knife

is because you can make it back home if you got a knife. It's not like if you got a gun, you're most likely going to smoke somebody. So I'm just thinking yeah, I got them off me. They should have not played with me. You know what I'm saying?

I'm not thinking nothing. I go. I'm in my friend's house after the case, and I'm just winding down. And he's like, yo, what happened? I'm like, yo, bro, these freaking dudes. They just attacked me. One of them took my chains. And the other one jumped on me.

Bro, I had to get him off me. He's like, damn. Let me go see. Stay here. He gets in his car, and he goes and he drives. He drives on, we have a street in Providence. This is called Elmwood Avenue. So he goes, he drives down Elmore Avenue, and he could see the Walgreens.

When he comes back, he told me, yo, bro, not for nothing, there's yellow tape over there. He's like, yo, but don't worry. Because every time there's a shooting, they always put yellow tape, and they put yellow cones on the casings and stuff like that. So he's like, don't worry about it. That's not nothing. So I got nervous quick, but then he made me feel better with that. So I'm like, okay. And a lot of this stuff, I could talk about it because the case is over now, you know?

So the knife that I had, I get rid of it. I wipe it down, toss it, right? I end up going home. When I get to my girlfriend at the time's house, she's there. Do you toss the knife in the garbage or you throw it in the fucking, like, in a lake or something? So there was like a grill in the backyard, and I stuffed it in the grill. Okay. And it was like an old school grill that looked dingy and dirty.

So I stuffed it in the grill. and I get up out of there. I make it home. My friend brings me home. And it's a casual conversation on the way home. I'm like, yeah, bro, man, my girl be in the house. She think I'm cheating on her. She's driving me crazy.

I'm talking about stuff like that. I'm not even thinking nothing. I'm thinking it's all over and done with. I get home. I woke upstairs in the room. I'm grabbing her. I'm checking her. I'm like, yo, are you okay?

She's like, my hand. My hand. I see her hand is swollen. She was punching this dude with his big old head. So she's like my hand. I'm like, yo, you think it's broken? She's like, no, it just hurts really bad. I'm like, yo, you good?

Are you good? She's like, yeah, I'm good. He didn't hit me. I'm good. I'm like, okay. We go to sleep. We lay down. I'm like, oh, we made it.

Good. I'm just glad you're okay. We lay down. At 7 the next morning, I only been sleep for a few hours. My girlfriend at the time's mom, she walks in the room. She's like, yo, there's a man at the door.

There's a man at the door with blonde hair. At the time, I had a friend. He had the top of his hair died. blonde, he had like curly hair. And as she's saying that, he just walks in. And he walks in and she, I'm like, he's good. I'm like, he's good. That's my friend.

So the mom walks off. And the first thing he says, he says, please tell me you didn't do it. I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, bro, please tell me you didn't do it, bro. I'm like, what are you talking about, bro? He's like, yo, bro, yo, I'm like, hold on, hold on, hold on. Go outside. I didn't want the mom to hear anything.

I'm staying in her house. Yeah. I don't want her to get scared and be like, oh, you have to leave. So I'm like, go outside. So I make him go to the backyard. We're down there talking. And he's like, yo, bro, I ended up getting arrested on the scene. And I was in the interrogation room with them.

So what happened was in the process of them chasing each other around. This friend that I'm talking about in particular, he runs into the Walgreens. And the Walgreens in our city has a security at the door. So in his mind, security means safety. He runs behind the security guard. my other friend that was chasing him stopped chasing him he stays in there

because he don't want to come back out everything that's happening in the back of the Walgreens is happening he doesn't know when the cops come they take him for disorderly they bring him into the interrogation room

they start asking him simple questions that somebody who's in there for disorderly wouldn't know not to answer right now you have the average person that would say yo don't say nothing because it's not to your benefit

They're not trying to help you. Yeah, but he doesn't think. He doesn't know. He thinks that he's in there because he was running around the Walgreens. Yeah. And that's it. So they took advantage and they're like, yo, why are you out tonight? And what does he say?

Oh, it's my friend's birthday. Yeah. Oh, who's your friend? Oh, my friend, Rico. This Rico? I make music. Right. They pull up a picture of my music videos.

He's in my music videos. This is the Rico. Look at you guys together. This is you guys. Now they have me identified on the music videos. the scene. Stamped. So he don't know.

So I guess towards the end of them talking to him. You're starting to figure out. They're like, yo, by the way, more serious than, there was an altercation in the back of the Wargreens and somebody's like badly wounded. He's like, tell your buddy that if Homeboy

checks out to come talk to us. This is how they tell him to tell me. And if he doesn't check out, he's good. This is what they told him. But if Homeboy checks out, tell him to come see us. So when we're in the backyard, he's explaining this to me. He's like, yo, bro, I was in there. And they was trying to ask me who I was with.

And I just told him we was out for your birthday. I didn't know what was going on. And then he starts telling me towards the end. They start telling me what happened. By that time, it's too late. And they told him, tell your friend that if he decides to go to the Dominican Republic, that we need a vacation. Because people who commit murders usually of my culture,

Yeah, flee back to... Our country is a big hub for us to flee and then go wherever we're going to go after that. So they're telling him, yo, tell him we need a vacation. They sent him to tell me that. That scared me. That means I have a reason to run that they're trying to tell me not to run. So he's like, yeah, man, but they said they just want to talk to you. I'm like, I'm not talking to nobody.

That'll mean... If I go talk to him, I'm not coming back out. So it's like, yeah, they just said they just want to talk to you. So I'm like, all right, cool. Thank you, bro. I hope you're good. Are you okay? Yeah.

All right, bye. I send them on his way and I instantly panic. I'm like, yo, I think I'm about to go down. So I go back upstairs and I open the news apps, ABC 6, NBC 10, everything that I can. And I'm trying to look. I'm trying to look. And there was actually another stabbing two blocks away. So I'm seeing a stabbing and I'm like, oh.

And that's not it. So I keep refreshing it. I keep refreshing it. And I'm paranoid and I'm panicking. I get a phone call about an hour later. And my friend's like, yo, homeboy checked. I'm like, damn. I remember I dropped the phone on the ground.

And the girlfriend that I had at the time was sitting next to me. She don't know what to do. I'm 18. She's 16. about to be 17. You know what I mean? Like, I just turned 18 that day. We're young.

Yeah. So she's just looking at me. I just dropped the phone on the ground. And I'm like, damn. I guess in the process of me dropping it, it hangs up. It rings again. I pick it up off the floor. I'm like, yo, he's like, yo, I got bad news.

I'm like, what? He's like, the dude in the case, he was a Marine, bro. They're putting up his picture with his khakis. and his camouflage on. I'm like, oh my gosh. Now my heart is just beating out my chest. Because the manner that he delivered it was like, it was like a knife through my heart.

Like, this is double. Like, I'm like, oh my gosh. So he's like, yeah, bro, just keep your head down. Be careful out here, bro. They're going to be looking for you. So I hang up the phone and I don't know what to even think. The whole night, I thought it was good. I didn't even know it was this serious.

So now I'm realizing to an extent the totality of it, like, I, this is serious. They're going to get me. Everything hit me at once. Like, it's over. My life is over. This life that I know is done. I'm never going to get out. I'm going to jail for life.

I start thinking this. And all the thoughts was just rushing my mind at once. And I'm anxious and I'm flustered and I'm mad. I end up just getting in a car. I go to Walmart. I buy like a bar. burn the phone and I'm laying down in the backseat and I'm paranoid and I'm I end up calling one of my friends, yo, can I stay at your house for a few days? I don't feel safe at my house.

I go to his house. I'm in that house. While I'm in that house, I'm letting my friends know where I am because I don't know. I'm dumb. So I'm just texting them, telling them where I am and stuff. They're coming to see me. They're like, yo, bro, man, I think it's done for you, bro. I can't lie. My friends are giving me honest feedback. Yo, bro, I think it's over, bro. I think you should just get ready, bro. Don't run. They're telling me, don't run, bro. It's going to be worse.

I don't even got money to run. I don't have no money. I'm fresh out of, I'm a kid. I'm 18. I don't even work. They're like, don't run, bro. It's going to be bad if you run. So I'm like, damn.

Then I'm looking at the girl. And I'm like, oh, yeah, I just lost you. And I'm thinking like, damn, maybe her life is over too. Because in my mind, anybody who's even next to something like that as an automatic co-defendant. So I'm scared for her now. I'm like, damn, did I just ruin her life? So I'm losing it.

We don't want to tell her mom. I'm scared to tell her mom because I'm like, oh, she's going to try to take you away from me. She might even tell where I am. I'm just nervous and anxious. So I'm like, nah, we can't tell her nothing. So we stay in this house for about three or four days. And then finally, I have another friend that he's more of like a, he's a fitness coach. But he's always had mentor vibe.

Big Brother vibes, you know, and he's always been connected with people in the community. So in Rhode Island, we have this thing called the Nonviolence Institute. Just let the youth play some Xbox in there, give you some haircuts.

They mentor the youth, and they're really good with kids from the street. If you get shot, they might pay your hotel so you don't have to stay in the same hood. They might buy you some clothes.

They really look out for the youth. So the leader of the nonviolence at the time, the director, his name was Teni Gross. Teni Gross is a really good person for people like me. So my friend at the time, he calls Tenney Gross, yo, we need your help. This and this and that is a situation.

So then my friend calls me, he's like, yo, listen, I just talked to Teni Gross. He told me to tell you that if you come to the nonviolence, he'll turn you in so that they don't try to shoot you or nothing when they find you. He'll make sure you're going safe

and he'll make sure that you get a detective in there that gives you your love. lawyer and they don't harass you. So I'm like, all right, so then they come to where I am and they have this big talk with me. Listen, bro, this is a self-defense. You don't have to be scared, bro. You have to fight this head on. They're not going to be able to do you dirty, bro.

There's no way. There's cameras. You was in the back of Walgreens. That's where you pick up prescriptions. This has to be on camera. Don't be scared. Don't run, bro. Going there with your head high.

They're giving me a motivational speech to turn myself in. I don't even know it. I'm really gaining strength from it too because I'm like, it's true. I have to face this head on. I will lose if I run away, you know? So I get in the car

and we're on our way to Tanny Gross. Little do I know the police have been following me that whole day. I didn't know. But it was odd to me that I kept seeing a pickup truck with tinting windows

and Massachusetts plates. And in our city where we from, that usually means a cop or somebody with a rental doing their thing, selling drugs, whatever the case may be. So, this is back in the day. So I'm seeing the truck. I see it one time. I don't pay mine.

I see it two times. I don't pay mine. When I get in a car with my friend to go to Tenney Gross, the director of the nonviolence, I see the truck. The problem was we was on a dead end street. I don't think the truck knew that. So when they come down, they don't have 5% 10. They have about 30% tent.

It's dark, but you can see through it. They come down and I look up and I see a badge, a gold star. And I'm like, yo, you see that? And my friends are looking. My friend that's driving is looking at me like, they don't know what's a dead end. Now they got to turn around. When they're coming back up the street, I'm looking and we see the badge again.

They try to look straight. And I'm like, oh, damn, that's them. So we drive normal. And right before we get on the highway, we're at a red light. And my friend notices, he's like, yo, there's a Malibu. Look. We look back. There's a Malibu doing an aggressive U-turn.

When we look forward, they rush us from everywhere. Boom, boom, boom. State trooper cars. D.C. undercover cars. The truck rushes us. Guns out. Get out. Get out.

They're all pointing guns at the. I got my phone and the burner phone. They're both black. I'm thinking they're going to shoot me. I'm like, yeah, they're going to shoot me. I got this in my hand. I'm going down right now. I just dropped the phones on the floor. They rushed the car. They opened the door. They pulled me out. One of them got a cell phone. He's trying to take my picture. They all got guns pointed at me. They slay me on the car. They arrest me. We got them. They arrest me, bro. I go to the station. I'm just in the cell. My The brain is doing a tornado. I'm just losing it. I'm like, damn. It's hitting me.

Damn. Damn. It's just hitting me. It's all hitting me at once because I'm seeing a gray cell. It's cold in the cell. I'm by myself in the cell. My friends that was with me got arrested as well because they was with me. Right.

But now they're getting let go. I'm watching them walk past my cell. They're like, keep your head up, bro. Keep your head up. As they're leaving, it's hitting me even worse. Right. I'm like, oh my gosh. So I'm in there, can I pray?

And I just ask what happened. Like my prayer was a question. Like, what just happened? I thought you protect me. I thought you got my back. And it was like instantly, I started to feel like I felt like arrogance. Like I felt like something in me was telling me

you was arrogant. And I remembered that night when I was on Thayer Street and the thought came in my mind where I shrugged my shoulders and said, I don't care, I'm in control. The irony of the situation is that, let's say that's point A where I shrug my shoulders and I say, I know what I said to God, but I don't care. I'm in control now. That's point A. The Walgreens is point B. As soon as I settled in my mind that I felt like I could disrespect. What I thought was my promise to God.

From point A to point B, my life changed forever. This is Thayer Street. This is Walgreens. This is where it happens. It was 30 minutes. My case, it says that the crime occurred at 2 a.m. It only took 30 minutes for my life to change. You understand?

And it was hitting me in the cell. Like, it was that quick. Like, it was deep. It was hitting me. I'm like, yo, wow. It pulled me into interrogation. me and they're attacking me. You was drunk.

You're a gangbanger. We know who you are. We see your music videos. You was mad because you was trying to show off in front of your girlfriend. They already have a narrative. They have a story.

You can't look like a wuss in front of your girlfriend. You got to hold it down. I'm like, yo, they already have a story and everything. They're like, what happened? In my mind, I'm on camera. I'm thinking I'm in the drive-through of a pharmacy where you pick up medication. I have to be on camera. I'm in a pharmacy that's lit up.

I'm thinking I'm good. I'm like, yeah, this is on camera. So I have to say what happened. If I don't say what happened and they see me on camera doing something else, I could hurt myself, right? So I'm like, yeah, I don't know what you're talking about. But I was assaulted and I was robbed. And I just defended myself. And they're like, oh, you're defending myself.

to yourself? Yeah? You did it, huh? I'm like, yeah, I defended myself. Yeah, I did it. I defended myself. They're like, nah, you didn't defend yourself. You, you, you, you was trying to show off in front of your girlfriend. That's why, you was drunk. You just went into a drunk and rage and they're really, like, attacking me. And I'm like, all right, I see what's going on. They're trying to make me get mad. They're trying to show that I'm an aggressive person. I just feel this in the moment because they're both bombarding me. You tell them about the chains? I'm telling them like, yo, this is on camera. This has to be on camera. They're like, yeah, it's on camera, but we just want to hear, we just want to hear you be truthful. So I'm like, all right, I'm telling you

what happened and you're trying to say that you still want to hear me be truthful. So they're like, I'm like, yo, you know what? I need a lawyer. They're like, don't worry. A lawyer's going to come. But you have to tell us what really happened. They're like, matter of fact, sign this paper. They give me a paper where you have to read your rights out loud, which basically just shows that you understand your rights. Yeah. And they make you read it so that you can't say nobody read me my rights. I have the right to an attorney.

I have the right to this. I have the right to that. They're like, all right, sign now. I'm like, yo, before I sign this, I would like an attorney. Yeah, I was going to say you've already said attorney. Once you say attorney, they should shut down the whole thing. Look at what they tell me. I find this out after the fact.

I'll tell you. They're like, we're going to get you an attorney. We just want to make sure that you understand your rights. They're like, who's your attorney? I had an attorney at the time that I ain't even trying to give them fame. But he wasn't a good one. Right. You know?

He's a small time. But he'll take you if you got big time because he wants your money. And he'll finesse you. So I'm like, let's say his name is Billy Bob. I'm like, Billy Bob is my attorney. They're like, all right, we're going to call him. But you have to sign that because you have to understand your rights. Like, you're an attorney.

Right. So I sign it. They continue to interrogate me. They're telling me, yeah. So we just want to find out for the sake of the fact. family. They need some closure. Please just tell us what happened. And I'm just sticking to my story. I'm like, yo, listen, I was robbed. When I got out of the car to get my girlfriend, I was attacked. And I defended myself. They're getting upset. They're slamming the clipboard. They're like, oh, man,

I'm not trying to play this game with him. He keeps trying to say that story. I don't believe that. I don't believe that you was just defending yourself. These guys, they're not bad guys. And it's just like a whole, Right away, I'm like, oh, this is a good guy, bad guy thing. They're like, why do you have a knife? They're like, you're a gangbanger, right? Are you trying to protect yourself from your enemies? Is that why you have a knife? And I'm just like, damn, this is crazy because this don't have nothing to do with my enemies.

This is not that type of case. I'm like, yo, you just can't even prove that I know them. Prove that I know them for you could say something like, how you're saying? They're like, it doesn't matter. So it continues on and it continues on up until I was in the, I was in the, I was in the police station for 48 hours. Finally, they bring me to court. When I go to court, it's like eight, nine in the morning, I get arraigned, and that's the

picture that everybody sees, that when you type my name, that's the first picture that appears. I get arraigned in court. I could hear cameras flashing. My heart is thumping. I'm like, yo, there's cameras in here. Why are they taking my picture? When the judge is to the prosecutor, yes, Your Honor, we want to bring up Mr. Monte,

Taovo, such and such. He has a, uh, uh, da-da-da-da, uh, he has a history. He has a history of, um, you know, gang violence. At this point, you're 18. Yep. He has a juvenile of gang ties in the city, runner, and we request no bail, da-da-da. And he's like, yeah, all right, boom, boom, all right, I charged the defendant, boom, boom, murder, boom. He don't say nothing next to murder. My heart goes in my stomach, because I'm like, why he just say murder like that? Why he didn't say second degree? Why he didn't say, inviour. voluntary manslaughter. He just said murder. And then they just, they hold me off. And they bring me back down to the court cell. So I'm in the court cell. And I'm like, yo, is that normal? Am I supposed to be charged with murder?

I go back to jail and they let me make a phone call. And my girlfriend, I said, she's crying. Oh, my gosh. I heard them say first degree murder on the news. I don't understand. I'm losing. I'm like, yo, what is going on? they wasn't respecting my Fourth Amendment, right? They had no proof that I had any ties, any motive, or any premeditation to these people to do what I did, but was able to charge me with first-degree murder, which I couldn't understand at the time,

but I had never been in the adult system. And I had Billy Bob, the lawyer, who was just telling me, don't worry, kid, it's going to be all right. Give me this much, and I'll bring you up on this hearing. This is all he tells me when I see him. So I'm like, yo, he goes to see me at the jail, and I'm like, yo, I was calling for you. He's like, yeah, nah, I don't know. I couldn't make it.

I'm like, yeah, I was calling for you, bro. He's like, when did you call for me? He doesn't even know. He's like, matter of fact, what day was it? I'm like, damn, you don't know, but you just said you couldn't make it. Do you know if it was me? He's looking at his papers. He's like, nah, I don't have anything written down for that day.

These other two days that I was in there. He don't have anything written down for that day. I'm like, yeah, bro, I called for you a few times to the point where I just ended up going to court without never even talking to you. He's like, yeah, nah, I don't know. But he's like, listen, you're not in bad shape. But he's like, I don't want you to go to a bail hearing because a bail hearing is like a mini trial.

And the odds are stacked against you. You look bad right now. I don't want you to go to that because they're going to go testify against you. He's like, you're going to waive your bail hearing. And then with time, we're just going to go to trial. and then we're going to see if they budge and give you a better offer. I'm like, I don't really want to go to trial

because I know the end result if trial goes left is forever. Yeah, you get penalized for going to trial. So I tell him like, yo, I just want to make it back home, if anything. I know what I did. I know I might have to sit, but as long as I could bounce back, yeah, don't worry, don't worry, kid.

And don't worry, kid turned into, I don't know what, because my family don't got money. The little bit of money that I was putting together, was from the girlfriend that I had at the time. She's working a little Burger King job and she's bringing him checks that she's making for the whole week straight to his office. She's not keeping a dollar.

And she's giving it to him just so I could have a lawyer. And so he's telling me like, yo, I'll take what you could get. I'll take what you could get me, you know? But he's like, in total I'll take 10 racks. I'll take 10 bans for this case, 10,000. Right? 10,000 for a murder case.

And as a kid, I'm like, 10,000 is a lot. after I learned the system It's nothing You're not getting a defense It doesn't go like that So I'm like, all right, cool So we end up He's taking money from my girlfriend

My girlfriend's mom will throw down And then a few of my buddies Would throw $100 here and there But it's not adding up So I learn what time What he does is He'll tell you some terminology To make you think we have to

postpone Whole time he just wants his money So if you give him a dollar He'll take it but he'll treat you accordingly. He'll not show up. He won't go see you until you pay him, which is crazy.

I'd rather you just not take my case. Right. You know? So we don't give him all the money, so he's not putting in all the effort. And it ends up so that I just stopped going to court in general. I stopped seeing him.

I stopped getting answers from him. And we're already like $2,000 in, $2,500 in. It's a lot at the time because this girl gave up like eight, nine paychecks, plus what her mom put up. So I end up just having to put in for another attorney, which is how I meet my new lawyer. Mind you, though, by this time I have two years in jail.

I'm already fed up. I'm scared because I don't want to throw their money away. It's not my money. But I had to have the talk with them like, yo, I'm sorry, but I haven't seen this dude in almost a year. I haven't went to court in almost a year. Every time he does come see me, he has a blank notepad. And he starts drawing pictures and arrows of where I was at and what happened.

Where's my stuff that you're supposed to come with? And he's asking me questions that he already asked me. So I'm wondering, I'm like, yo, I don't think he's going to help us, you know? He just took our little bit of money and he's going to act. So before I fired him, my girlfriend was like, let us talk to him. Let us go to his office first. So they go to his office. They speak with him.

And they tell him like, yo, please, can you please help? Will you please be honest? If you're not going to help us, please let us know. And he tells them, listen, he admitted to what he did, which he should have never did. He should have never even opened his mouth. Because now he's going to have to do at least one life sentence for murder before he can even start thinking about coming home. He's in Rhode Island. Rhode Island don't play.

The dude was a Marine. He tells my family this. If anything, if you're a lawyer, you're supposed to sell him a dream. If anything, to get some money. Right. But he don't care so much. But he knows he's not getting any more money out of him. He's just blunt.

He's going to have to do at least one life sentence. I can't even help him. How many life sentences can you do? Pretty sure you can only do one. Like if I could die. Right. I was going to say, you know what I mean? What the fuck does that mean?

You know what I'm saying? Like if I could die and do another. So they come to the visit and this was the first time I cried. I hadn't cried yet. It was crazy. Like they come to the visit and they tell me that together. the mom and the daughter, which is my girlfriend at the time. And I know it's serious because the mom will usually stop her and say what really happened.

Right. Because she'll tell me the nice version and the mom would be like, the mom was staying quiet. And the girlfriend's like, yo, he told us that you're going to have to do at least one life sentence. And I remember I just kept, I was in such shock that I kept asking her the same question. I was like, why he say that? She's talking. I'm like, but why he say that, though? And I said it three times until I realized like, yo, I'm stuck. And I got up and I walked out to visit.

And I remember they was about to come down. I don't want nobody in these hallways to see me cry. I always got to have the meme mug on. It's dangerous. You know, I'm skinny, frail at the time. So I run to myself. I run upstairs and I had a roommate at the time. He was like an older Guatemalan dude.

He wasn't street at all. I jump on my bunk and they just started coming out. and it's like an aggressive cry because it was all hitting me at once mind you I got a few years and already and I'm thinking like yo am I going to have to accept that it's over like I'm done for

the lawyer the one that's supposed to give me the most hope just gave me no hope so it's just coming down and I remember my roommate at the time just not saying nothing I remember he just grabbed his radio put his headphones

and he just got on his bunk he stopped what he was doing and just got on his bunk And I just took it like, yo, he just doesn't want to disturb me right now. Like he don't know how to process this. So he's just leaving me alone. And I was just,

I was just letting it out for about 30 minutes until I got tired. You know, as a kid, when you cry and you just cry so much, you get tired, it was like that. And I just go to sleep. If you sleep hot at night, you know how disruptive that can be.

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Ms. Dawn She comes to see me She's like, yo listen My name is Dawn Huntley I'm a pro bono attorney For State of Rhode Island Your case landed on my desk I'm going to be taking your case

Okay, cool So she takes my case And she starts telling me like, yo, what do you want? Like, what do you want to do? And I'm like, yo, I want to come home. That's it. I don't want to get out right now.

I just want to come home. She's like, all right, what does that look like? I'm like, yo, something that I can bounce back from. If I can bounce back and live a life, I'm okay with that. But I'm not really fixed on going to trial. She's like, why? Didn't you defend yourself? I'm like, yeah, but Rhode Island, I'm scared of my state.

Growing up, I only saw people lose. On the news, I've only seen people lose trial. Never have I ever seen anybody win trial for murders. So I'm scared. I'm like, I don't want to go to trial. She's asking me why. And I'm like, because if I lose, it's over. And she's like, yeah, but how do you know you're going to lose?

If you're not wrong, I'm like, yeah, but Rhode Island doesn't play fair. I'm already convinced they don't play fair because they charge me with a first-degree murder. And they wasn't supposed to. And there's not really much I could do about it. I can't put in any motions to amend it. Nothing is going through. So she's like, all right. So you just want to bounce back, huh?

I'm like, yeah, I just want to bounce back. Mind you, I'm only 20 at the time. I went in 18. I know if I do, I'm trying to put my mindset in like, alright, if I do 20, I'll be 40. It's not too bad. I still can make a life.

Look at what I'm telling myself. Because I'm around a bunch of people that's about to get 60 with 40 years to serve. When they come out, they're going to be 80. They don't have no more life. So I'm telling myself, and they're also telling me around me, yo, young blood, you catch 20, you're good.

You come out 40, still got some muscles, get a little girlfriend, make a baby. you could build a life for yourself. It's not the worst of situations. Everybody in jail is miserable. They'll never give you a sun ray. They'll always give you a rain cloud.

But it'll be a backhanded rain cloud in the form of advice. Don't worry, young blood, and they'll rub your back. A dub is nothing, bro. I've been here for 15. I'm good. Look at me. Look how they tell you things.

You know what I'm saying? They say when you go to max? They already sentence you. They don't say if you go to max. They say when. When you go to max, bro, you're going to be good. You're going to get with my boy. You're going to do pushups.

Everybody's like that. So I'm telling the lawyer, I'm like, yo, if I could maybe a 20, I'll take a 20, if anything, or a 15 will be nice. And a 10 would be great. She's like, a 10 would be great. What? She's just looking at me like, what? I'm like, if I do a 10, I'll be 28. And I'm still, I'm not even 30 yet.

And she's just like, I saw like the sadness in her face. Like, this kid just gave up. Like, he's accepting defeat. So she's like, all right, I'm going to need some time. I'm gonna need time, bro. Your case is this big. You already got two years in here. So I'm like, all right, I'm already comfortable in this building.

So take the time that you need. She's like, but listen to me. She's like, I promise I'm gonna help you. I promise. I don't even pay mine to that, though. I'm like, thank you. But in my head, I'm like, you promise what? Yeah.

What does it benefit you to help me? You know what I'm saying? My case is this big. So she comes on my case and she's starting to deal with me. She comes up when I need her to come up, so it's giving me some security, and she answers when I call.

So she makes me feel confident that I have representation now. It's not like before. How old is this woman? I never asked Ms. Dawn her age, but if I had to guess at the time, I would say maybe she was like 46, 47. She's a public defender?

She's a private attorney. She's been assigned the case. She's an assigned the case. Okay, so she's a, what do they, I forget what they call them. Court appointed. That's how we call them over here. I mean, in Rhode Island. The federal, they call them something like J-U-A or something.

So you guys have that as well. Yeah. Well, because you can't always go to the public defender, you know. So I got a little bit of confidence in having representation now, so that's making me feel a tad a bit better. But she said I need time. Time could be one year, two years, three years, four years. The time is going and two years is turning into three.

But check it out. In the midst of the time going. my life is changing. That little girlfriend that I had, she's gone. Yeah. We were teenagers. She didn't get to go to prom because of this

because the case was all over the news. Yeah. Everybody knew she was my girlfriend. It kind of messed up to end to her high school experience. Now she wants to disassociate herself with me because the case went viral online from people prosecuting me

and people defending me with their own opinions. To the point, I guess there was a girl at the time. I don't even know what page it is, but she had, I think, a million followers or something like that. And she just saw me in court and she just found me handsome. She shared it and it started going viral. All you see is my mugshot looking to the side, my court picture looking to the side.

And when I was in court, I was looking down. And when the judge started speaking, I looked up. But the news cameras caught me mid-look. So they caught me like this. And I have like a demon face. and I had braids going down my face so I just looked like a menace and that was the picture

that I was going around but you know girls are crazy they like bad boys or whatever so the picture oh he's so handsome and starts going crazy is getting a lot of attention this girl

is getting the backlash of that because a lot of people who are four Marines and they're pro you know United States they're like you you was with the scumbag that was your man

you was there it's year full so it's messing her life up and she don't want to nothing to do with it, so she's trying to separate herself. And it's affected me, because I don't have a lot of family from how I told you so. She's kind of like my only support. The little friends that I had, they started scattering slowly but surely.

Because they're out of say out of mind. They're not thinking about me. They got their own families and stuff like that. So now I'm starting to feel lonely. I got a few family members that are trying to be there for me, but they're only doing what they can. They don't live here. Some of them live in New York.

My mom's from New York. I have siblings from there. but I never had relationships with them. They're even older than me and everything. So I'm really alone. I'm not getting visits. And I'm starting to kind of suffer mentally. And it's to the point where I'm becoming bitter.

And I'm becoming miserable. And my form of misery was like, I was just really judgmental to people. And I would see people come in and out of jail. And all I wanted to do was get out one time. And I was in a jail called the ISC, which is the intake service center. It's a transition building.

You go there without being sentenced, and then you go to the census buildings from there. So when you're in that building, you watch people walk in from the street. I'm in a cell. I'm constantly rotating cellies because people's going home and coming in. So I'm constantly watching people go home and it's slowly chipping away at me because they're like, all right, man, good luck. And I got to watch them go home. And I'm happy for them, but I'm sick for myself because I wish I could go home. And in this particular moment in time, I don't have any concrete evidence that things are going to get better.

And my mental health starts to deteriorate in the form of me becoming bitter. I'm becoming miserable. Everything is bothering me. When people was asking me what time it is, it was upsetting me. I was wearing my watch upside down. I didn't want people to ask me what time it was. If I had sellies and they touch my TV, I would go crazy. If they asked me the wrong question, if we disagreed on something about the show, I would get mad.

And I was really suffering, like I was feeling it. And I was mad at God. I felt like it was God's fault for some reason. And I'm like, yeah, you allowed this, you know? So I wasn't praying. I wasn't doing anything spiritual. I was just upset and I was becoming miserable. And I was following the way of the old heads that they tell you, yeah, young blood,

don't talk to nobody, don't share it with nobody. Don't play chess with nobody. People's trying to snitch on you. People's trying to do you wrong. So they're like, souping me. up to be more miserable than what I am and I'm thinking yeah because they're older they know what to do little do I know they just continual crash hours that's still in the same mindset yeah so I'm following their lead and I'm just going down a bad path miss Dawn ends up coming to me it's uh it's like

the end of 2017 I would say and she's like yo they gave us a offer she's like but before I tell you this offer I understand that you want to go home so we're not going to pay mine to this offer but I have to tell you by law what the offer is. I'm like, what's the offer? She's like, so it's going to be 60 with 40 to serve. And my heart's like this. Must go to fucking trial.

And I'm like, that's the offer? You're 20, right? At this point, you're 20. 20 years old? 20. I'm about to be 21. Okay. And she's like, yeah, 60 with 40 is the offer.

That's the offer that comes with a first degree. That's what they offer you. With a term of 20 years probation. So she's like, don't pay mine. it, I'm not going for that. But she's like, by law, I have to tell you that this is the offer. So she's like, I'm going to try to fight them down and I'm going to try to get them down best I can. She's like, don't worry, we're reviewing your tapes. We're reviewing the footage and we're doing what we can. So there is a video. There's a video, but I don't know this yet.

She just tells me we're reviewing the tapes. We're reviewing all the camera footage that we could gather. Because I thought the cops were lying when they were like, yeah, yeah, there's a video to keep you talking. But I thought there's no way that cameras were. Okay, so after she tells me she's going to try to gather more evidence, she comes back. She tells me, yo, listen, this is your whole discovery, right? There's footage, right? But it only sees feet. The camera was pointed at an angle.

But guess what the camera sees? It sees me, get out the car, look at their truck, get back in the car, take off, they come behind me. Now it sees the butt of both cars and it sees feet. I had some all red air forces on that day. So she says, yo, you can see your feet and you can see when the dude falls. You see like the top of his arm or something like that. But that's all you see. It's in the top corner of the screen.

And that's it. Right. So she's like, listen, this is good because you don't really see you doing it. Right. So she's like, I kind of want your confession thrown out. I'm like, they're not going to do that. Your confession seems reasonable. You explain that you were robbed.

You explained that seems that's not. But check it out. With all that, they were still charging me with a first degree. Right, but that's what they're going to do. They're playing dirty. She's like, listen, I kind of want to throw your confession out. She's like, in this video, I didn't even know this. She's like, you asked for a lawyer nine times.

Nine, the number nine, right? Because it was continual. Remember, I told you. And then she says, your girlfriend was there and there was a third party in their car that I didn't even know. There was a girl in their car. Mind you, it's a pickup truck.

I didn't think there would be three people in the front of a pickup truck, but there was. So I'm like, all right, what you're saying with that? She was like, I'm saying that it's liable that anybody could have did it. Even your girlfriend could have did it. They can't prove

because all you see in this video is your feet. I'm like, yo, I don't know. I don't know. In my heart, I'm like, damn, I don't think I should just deny the whole thing because now that leaves room for too much speculation. In my mind, it was too much guessing they would have had to do. And I know me, if I was in a jury box, and I just had enough to think that you did it, and I'm a regular civilian, I'm going to be like, yeah, he's guilty.

Why wouldn't I? If I'm a regular civilian and I think he, and even though they're instructed to not be biased, come on, we're human. We're not going for what you say. going for what we feel. So I didn't trust that enough to put that in the hands of a jury and let their opinion decipher because the jury is not going to be of my peers. Well, I also think that you didn't, that if the guy grabbed the chains and took off, like, you know, technically, I was just robbed. I don't care that I bumped in your car. I don't care

that. None of that means anything. You don't get to yank these chains off me and run. And so what, it's called vigilancy justice. Right. So, so, so, and then I, I get out of the vehicle and the guy attacks me, you know, I'm being attacked, I pull out the, pull out the knife. I'm only thrusting the knife at him to try and get him away from me. My intent is not to kill him. Like to me, that's manslaughter. Exactly. You see how you said that with ease? Yeah. But for some reason, this wasn't the case in their eyes. But anybody can say this with ease. So the thing about Rhode Island is this. We don't have a stay-in-your-ground law. We have a law that's called fight-or-flight. Fight or flight means if I pull out a gun on you and you're in a corner, you can kill me.

Yeah. But if you're in the middle of the street, you have to run. You have to run. Okay. Then if I chase you, then you can kill me. But guess what? My fight or flight situation happened when I got back in my vehicle. Why? Because the initial incident should have resulted in conflict right there where I get out and they poke their head out.

but I get in my car and leave and they follow. This is what makes my case fight or flight. I chose flight. Right. So the second instant is where I should be justified, but I'm not. I'm getting offered 60 with 40 because he's a Marine. Right. And it's a just cause.

And when they show the news clip, because I got newspapers of Providence Journal in jail, they show a picture of the dude smiling with his khaki, his army fatigue on and they show me with my braids looking up like a menace. Is this a white guy? This is a white guy. That's not good for you either. You understand? I look like a thug.

He looks like a just citizen who rode for this country, who put his life on the line. This is what the articles would say. Fallen soldiers slain by gang member. They was even calling me black. I'm not black. I know black. I'm Dominican. I'm Dominican.

You know what I'm saying? So they're telling the story without even knowing the story and it's hurting me. it's hurting me. And that's a bigger reason why I didn't want a jury judging me. Yeah, but here's a, you know, but what they're saying is not, it's not true either. You know,

that's the worst is that he's, he is a Marine. You have been arrested multiple times. So it's not like they're, they're, it's true, but misleading. They're making narrative.

Right, but I'm saying it's true, but it's misleading what they're saying. Like it's still, it's both. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, so yeah,

it's not good for you. Yeah, the articles, the articles was damaged. Imogen. Not good. They said that he was slain trying to protect his friend. Oh, okay. Come on, man. You know, they're making him just. What are they saying? What are the people in the vehicle? What's the chick saying? What's the other buddy saying? What are they saying? So the other buddy is the one going to court. He goes to court with a tattoo of his friend on his face. Oh, God. He wants you gone just in general.

And he's in court and he's saying, yeah, this kid went crazy. He hit our car and we said we was going to call the cops. So when we said he was going to call the cops, he went not. And he attacked. And he attacked. We don't contact us. That's what he's saying. Right. The girl is not going to court. Does he have your chains? I don't find out until later, but they find the chains in the vehicle.

Well, that's hard to explain. I don't find out so later. What you're saying's true, it's pretty fucking hard to explain how you got my fucking chain. What are my nexus doing there? Exactly. And then, as enough time went on, my lawyer kept digging, and she started finding a lot of things out. You understand? She started finding out that he was lying because he's saying different things.

If I would have went to a bail hearing, like how the lawyer, the first lawyer, said the way. Denied me. We would have caught him and tied him into four statements, which make him not credible with time. Right. And his four statements was, there was just all over the place. He was saying one thing and he was saying the next thing.

You understand? And so when he was going to court, he was standing up for. for one, he used to stand up and say, yeah, yeah, he was admitting an open court that he robbed me. Right. He admitted in court that he robbed me. Yeah, I robbed him. Yeah, I took his chains. He tried to run off from me.

He hit my car. So my lawyer's like, yo, he's burying himself. Don't worry. Every time we have hearings, he's trying to go to the hearings and say different things. So it gets to the point where she's like, I want to go to trial. I really want to go to trial. And I'm like, I don't know. She's like, I will fry him on cross-examination.

I will fry this man. I'm like, I don't want to take the risk because you think you will fry him. What's the choice? 40 years? I'm still trying to have some type of hope that the time could go down. Yeah, but they're, they're, you know? They feel like they've got a good case. They feel like they got a good case.

So I'm like, I don't know, Ms. Dawn. They got a brown guy with gang ties. With gang ties. I have face tattoos. I have neck tattoos. I look all types of aggressive and dangerous. And do you have any timeline? Like, hey, you have to decide you need to go to trial by this year?

No. Or like, drag out. He's already been charged. Yeah. I've been charged. It's up to him to. It's up to me. He's been, they've been.

The only way is if you put in a speedy trial motion. And that means they have to try you within six months. But you've waived that by. now, right? I never put that motion. Okay. I didn't want to speed. I was scared.

I didn't want a speedy trial. That's only if you got them beat dead to rights, then you put that in. Right. But if that's not the case, which I didn't feel, I was still scared that it could go left. I didn't want to put no motion for speedy trial because I wasn't even situated. So Ms. Dawn's telling me like, yo, I think we should go to trial. I'm like, I'm not sure. I'm like, could you please try to get the offer down?

She's like, all right. Time starts passing. Now it's 2018. I'm 21 already. I got three years in. I don't hear from Ms. Dawn as much no more. She got other cases. She still answers,

but she's just stacked up. 2018 turns into 2019. 2019, Ms. Dawn sends me to court for a fry hearing. What's a fry herring? Basically, you go up there and you tell them, I don't want your offer,

I want to go to trial. She's like, listen, we're just going to go for the fry herring because they're not budging. Right. So we're going to have to just tell them no, and we're going to have to suit up. So I go, stay in the front of the judge. The prosecutor says everything that she says.

We offered the suspect this and that amount of time plus this amount of probation. He's denying it. So we're requesting a trial. So the judge set my trial for March 14th of 2019. It was like February at the time. Ms. Dawn's like, all right, good. We're going to go. I'm scared.

I'm like, oh, man. trial. When March 14th came, the first case of coronavirus was shown in Rhode Island. The first case that we even heard of, I think it was somewhere in Florida, but they started

saying the first case of Corona was in Rhode Island. And at that time, they were scared that Corona. Listen. So you said 2019? 2019, they, it was like, oh, there's a case of Corona. Okay. It was still lingering. Yeah. But it wasn't a thing yet.

And so when there was a case of Corona, it was a big thing on the news. Corona's in Rhode Island. It lingered. They postponed from March to like, I think August. The court day just got changed. By the time August came around, Corona was more of a conversation. And it was starting to be more places. It was getting reported that it was popping up more places.

By the time it was about February, people was dying. February of 2020. Okay. They were starting to show. So the 2019 passed. My court date kept getting extended. It went from March to August. And then they ended up postponing it again to where I didn't have a date.

Because now they was like, we're going to get back to you with a date. And then it became Corona. And they started not giving out court dates. And they started, it started getting so bad that February, March, April, it started turning into lockdowns, shutdowns, travel ban, this, that. And they got to the point where they shut down court for capital offenses. First it was just capital offenses. You guys can't go to court.

Only minor offenses could go to court. Then it became no court at all. No more court. You guys have to stay put. And then COVID was starting to get bad. My lawyer couldn't go to the visit if she did. She would have had to wear a mask and do all this stuff. And she's an older lady.

At the time, we thought COVID was going to kill you off the rip instantly. Right. then we learned it was just killing older folk with underlying conditions. So we're all scared, including my lawyer. She's like, I'm older. I've had problems. I don't want to go up there, but you can always call me. And I'm like, yo, what's up with us?

She's like, yo, we're going to have to just wait. We're going to have to wait it out. We don't know what COVID's going to look like. So it ended up turning into a year, no court. Then it ended up turning into two years, no court. How much time have you done at this point? At this point, it's 2020. Sue. I got seven years in jail. In a jail? In a county, mind you, where it's no... Yeah, no, I know... It's no guarantee.

So I have an uncertainty. I'm saying the difference between jail and prison is that jails are not designed for long-term housing. It's no comfort. Right. And so prisons are designed to keep you in long-term, which means you have more... Like, people don't realize like... Education, programs, Even weight, there was no weight where I was. Yeah. I had to do calisthenics to the bone, you know, because there was no weight. I had to put water in bags. Is there like a wreckyard?

There's a yard that's just flat cement. Yeah, yeah. It's just a box. Yeah, with the walls that go up like 30 feet with barbed wire or something. We didn't have the, yeah, we had one brick wall and then we had really big fences, you know? Oh, okay. Thank God there was a basketball hoop. That's where used to save me in my mind.

But there's no way, it's no nothing. I'm in a jail like how you said. I got seven years in there already. By this time, I'm 20, I'm sorry, 2018. I mean, 2015, I was 18, so I'm like 23, 24-ish around there. And Ms. Dawn ends up coming up. 2022, she ends up coming up. And she tells me, I have bad news.

And I'm like, damn, what's the bad news? She's like, I'm sick. I'm sick and I don't know what's going to happen to me. And I'm in my head, like, that's not the type of sick that you come and tell somebody. Right. So I'm like, damn, are you going to be okay? She's like, I don't know. When she says that, I'm like, oh, she's like, yo, listen.

So if you want to find new representation, I'm not stopping you. She's like, I really wanted to finish your case. But right now, I have to take care of myself or I might not be here to see your case. I was like, oh, my gosh. Now I just feel crushed because I'm like, yo, I have to. to start over. And now I probably got to go with a PD now. And I'm just like, oh my gosh, I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't believe it. And I called my family. I'm like, yo, miss doing sick. They're like, what? They're the only ones that I trust. You know, she's the only

one that has some trust from my family and they knew what the last one did. So they're like, what do you mean? You know, she's sick. We don't know what's going to happen. And I'm just like, damn, I start praying and I start telling God, yo, listen, I don't know what is the purpose of this that you want for me. I don't know why I'm not crazy yet. Only you know why I haven't lost it yet. But whatever it is, I'm trying to make some sort of a deal with you. This is me praying by myself in the room. And I'm like, yo, I'll give it to you. I'll give it all to you in exchange for some type of light at the end of this tunnel because it's getting to the point. If they're going to slay me, just let them slay me.

But I can't continue on with this uncertainty. It's been years of uncertainty. Some days I feel good because I might. Some days I feel awful because I just watch somebody lose. And that could be me. So every day I have a different up and down in my mind. Girls play with me. I call home.

They act like they love me still. Then they stop answering the phone. So that's hurt in my mind. The money that was coming in, people got their own life. When you're in jail, you become an extra bill. They can't always give you money for the phone and for Keefe. And when you're yellow tag, which means you're a gang member, you can't work outside the block. You can't work in the laundry.

You can't work in the kitchen. You can't work in the hallway. So I'm confined to a porter job in the block, which is like a dollar. You know what I'm saying? So at the end of the month, you'll make like $30. And they freeze like $15 so you can have frozen money in a frozen account. So you only get a few dollars, you know. So I don't have a lot of money.

I don't have a lot of support. my mind is teetering and I'm starting to feel like, yo, I can lose it soon. I just started getting this feeling inside of me like, yo, it's getting close. I'm not there yet, but I'm watching people and they're losing it. So I just, I was praying and I was just like, yo, I need to make, we need to make some sort of a deal. I know it's supposed to work like this, but whatever is the purpose of my life, I'll give it to you. But I need to be out of here. I can't.

There's nothing here. There's no light here. It's all dead air here. Everybody here is miserable. This is like a gray cloud in here. So I'm starting to pray and I felt something like in me like you have to really follow me. You understand? I felt something telling me like, yo, you're not really following me.

You're still kind of doing what you want to do. So I just picked up a Bible. And from 2022 all the way to 2023, I'm heavily dived into that Bible. In the process of this year, a lawyer that was. was in the same firm as Ms. Dawn, overheard her saying she was going to have to give up my case. And I guess since she's in the same firm, she knew about my case. She was always interested.

So she told her, listen, I can take that case over so that he doesn't have to go get a public defender. And I know about his case. So she's like, all right, go talk to him because that would be beneficial. I don't want him to get a PD. She comes and she talks to me. She's like, hi, my name is such and such. And I work at Ms. Dawn's firm. and I can help you.

I know your case. And I can do A, B, and C for you if you allow me to. All you have to do is sign me on. She's like, I don't know how many options you got right now, but I feel like I'm a good bet for you. Right. I don't have nothing to argue back. Yeah.

I'm like, okay. You don't have, nobody's beating the door down to take your case. I'm like, all right, I don't want a public defender. I'm like, sure, you can sign on to my case. You know Ms. Dawn? Ms. Dawn knows you, definitely. She signs on to my case and she's selling me dreams.

Not selling me dreams. She's just painting it so lovely, like if it's easy. She's like, you know what, I'm going to get you up for a bear hearing soon. You know what? I want you home before Christmas. You should be home. You should not be locked up. Your case is this and that and we have this and we have this footage

and they should not charge you saying all the things that I know, but she's telling me in a way where she can do something about. it. So I'm like, oh my gosh, all right. We start going to, I go to court one day. She's like, all right, I'm going to try to do a bail hearing for you. Today's the first day, but you're not going to go up. I go back to jail. She don't answer my call, and I don't end up going back to court. I'm like, I thought a bail hearing was a trial, basically, not a trial, but it's like one, two, three, four, five days until they decide. And I don't end up going back. So I call her,

I'm like, yo, um, I'm like, yo, what's up? I thought we were starting to build here. She tells me this weird. Oh, I have to get some paperwork and this, that, and the third. And she's like, don't worry, give it time. I'm really going to try to get you out. She's like, actually, I know some people on a true crime network. And it was like something like some sort of a crime show.

And she's like, I want your case up there. So that way the public could see that you're unjustly charged. And they could help you. And I'm in my mind like, oh, maybe that will help. I'm going to be on TV. Damn, she's really trying to help me. not knowing. And in the process of her telling me, I'm like, okay, I'm feeling good. I'm telling my family, like, yo, this lady's going to try to get me on TV. She's going to try to

help me. She's going to try to get me bail. My family's happy. Like, what? Bail? What? What? What? What? What you're talking about? For real? So I'm waiting on her. I stopped hearing from her, though. And I stopped hearing from her for like a few months. And it gets to the point where it's like the year passes. Now it's 2023. And Ms. Dawn gets better. So Ms. Dawn ends up walking in. They called me down to the visit. I don't know for what. She's like,

yo, I got better. I recovered. Thank God. I just wanted to come tell you that I got better and I overcame. And she wouldn't tell me what was wrong where I had to assume what it was. You know,

probably a cancer or something like that. She's an older lady, you know? She didn't know if the chemo's going to work. She didn't know what's going to happen. She's got to take care of herself. Exactly. So she's like,

yeah, thank God. God was on my side. I'm better now. I'm picking your case back up. I'm like, wait, this lady said she's going to get me on TV and she's going to get me a bill hearing. Ms. Don's like, what? I told her, no.

She brought that up to me. I told her don't do none of that. She said she was going to help with the case. I didn't tell her to do none of that. If she does that, she restarts all my work. TV is bad. TV can go left or right. She's like, what if it goes left on TV and they turn on you?

You have no control of the narrative on a TV program. And now somebody who saw you on TV goes and sits in the jury box against you. She's like, no way. What's wrong with this lady? She's like, matter of fact, I'm going to call her. The lady disappears. The lady don't answer no more. And then I guess come to find out, she was trying to take over the case because they give

you, as a pro bono, they give you $30,000 if you take a case for the state. That's all you're going to get, but they give you money for it. And I guess she just saw an opportunity when Ms. Dawn was sick to get that money. She would have got quick money. She would have sold me off, fake bill hearing, act like I'm going to go on TV. And then after everything was said and done, she probably would have been like, sorry, I tried. Yeah. And it became like...

You better take that 40 year off. You know what I mean? And it was something that I realized like, yo, you was a potential threat. I almost... You sold me so much hope that I didn't have. I almost fell for it. But God was on my side and Ms. Dawn got better.

And she's like, all right, we're going. We're going to go now. She's like, I'm tired of you being here. 2023. I got eight years already. I've been in this situation for eight years. I'm already 26. That's already a manslaughter.

That's all you had already served a manslaughter. Imagine. That's what they would give you. Eight years or something. Something like that, you know? Even if they give you 10 or 12, you'd be fucking leaving. You'd be headed to halfway house after eight. Ms. Dawn starts coming up.

She starts suiting us up. She's telling me, all right, they're going to ask who this. They're going to say that to you. They're going to say this. She's like, yo, I'm glad you're not fighting. I was in there trying my best to stay out of trouble because I had in my heart. Like, yo, if I fight in here, they're going to bring me up to court and say, look, he's violent.

Look, he can't even keep his composure in a controlled environment. So I always knew to just keep my head down, stay quiet. And the thing about Rhode Island, it's not the most aggressive of jails. It's mostly just a bunch of airwaves and people talking. But if you stay good, then they'll stay good. If you don't let words get you out of your pocket, you're decent. And that's really what it was for me. So I was able to really gain self-control through that,

and I was able to make it through without any violent altercations or nothing. So she's like, it's good that you stay out of trouble. They might try to yell at you, they might try to call you this. the regular things that they prep you with. So she starts going to court, and she ends up showing, I guess they have a meeting. It's the prosecutor, is my lawyer, and it's the judge. By this time, there's been so many judges that chains off my case. Now it's a female.

And she tells the judge, she's like, Your Honor, watch this video. She turns the laptop towards her. Listen to what the prosecutor is saying, that he went into a drunken rage because they was going to call the cops, and he started acting crazy and watched this video. And I'm going to turn the audio off and I want you to tell me what he's saying with his body language.

So in the video, I get out of the car. I look. I go like this. I'm sorry. But I do this with my hands. Yo, my four, I hit your truck, bro. These were my exact words.

My four, I hit your truck, bro. I don't want no problems. I'm just trying to get my car. my boys and I'm trying to get out of it. I'm like, yo, that's my bad. I didn't mean to hit your truck. And then he started to say whatever he said. He gets in the car.

I mean, and I get in the car and I take off. So my lawyers explaining to the judge, she's like, Your Honor, their story is flawed because this body language does not exude violent demeanor. This is a submissive action. Right. And this is an apologetic act. Without no audio, you can see what he's saying. Because in the audio, you can't really hear.

You just hear mad crazy stuff. But when I'm doing like this and I'm doing like that, I'm showing no problems, surrender. Then I get into a vehicle and leave. And they go from A to B after me. She's like, Your Honor, what are we going to do here? I can bring this up and you're going to have to knock it off because you just made them do all this time.

Or you can deal with me because he wants 10. mind you I told her in the beginning I wanted 10. Right. So the judge was like opposed to it. She was like, nah, that's too little time. And she was, my lawyer told me she was opposed to it. She was like, nah, he's not getting off that easy. But the prosecutors, they were getting to the point where they were starting to realize, like, all right, he's not going for the 40.

And I don't think they was ever that confident. And I wish I would have knew from day one, because then I would have forced the issue. but they wasn't as confident as they try to act like they was. What they did was they left the offer there to scare me. They made it high so I could think my hands was tied and think I have to go to trial or think I have to take it. Because in jail, you know, the saying is a number is better than a letter. Everybody says this. I've watched people get letters.

I watched people get two lives. I've watched people get 90 years. I saw somebody get like 260 years. These are people that are young. So I'm like, yeah, a letter and a number, I'll definitely go for the number. But at the same time, I wasn't trying to go for that. But this is their mindset, and they know this. So right there, the prosecutor kind of saw that we wasn't going for it.

And they was like, all right, we're going to have to deal with him, Your Honor, because we don't want to put the family through a not guilty. My lawyer came back and told me that. She's like, you want to know what they said in that court, in that chambers? But she's like, this means that they're really scared of us. So she's like, I want to go. I want to go to trial and I'm like

try to get the 10 she's like she's not trying to budge with the 10 I'm like try keep trying so she continues to go and she comes back with her assistant she had an assistant that would help her they call me down to the attorney room

Montalvo visit they call me down I walk down there I see both of them they're looking at me with a serious face I'm like damn I walk into the room she's like bad news. I'm like bad news. My heart starts pumping. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Worse than 40? She's like, do me a favor. Read this paper. She slides me a paper with my initial offer, my charges, and it's just reading off a bunch of things. My heart's bumping. I'm like, yo, to be honest, I don't want to read this. What did they say? I'm anxious. She's like, we got to talk about that. I'm like, damn. So in my mind, I'm like, damn, they didn't budge. We should have took whatever she was saying. I'm just getting nervous. I'm like, we should have just got something. We should have got a 20. We should have got something. She's like, hmm, she's huffing and puffing. I'm losing it. I'm like, yo, she pulls out of paper. Read this paper. She gives me the paper. I read it. The offer that was on the previous paper isn't there. It says

25, 13 years to serve. Suspended. 11 years suspended. And then it says, manslaughter. They don't say first degree no more. I look at her, she smiles. I'm like, yo, I'm like, yo, don't play like that. I'm losing it.

I was about to cry. I was going crazy. I thought it was like, she's like, I told you. I'm like, yo, I'm like, how did you? She's like, I couldn't get the 10 because they tried to say 15.

So I made them meet me in the middle. You know what I'm saying? But she was like, all in all, They realized that with the evidence that we had as far as the chain that they found in the vehicle with time that you didn't even know. She was like, I had to put in motions to get all the evidence that your last lawyer wouldn't do. She was like, on top of the video, it just doesn't look good in a trial. For somebody who looks like a lumberjack has military training and is multiple ones of them. On Taparai, he went to hearings and admitted an open court that he robbed your chain.

He said in open court he took my chain. He stood up on the stand, which showed arrogance. And on top of that, you're 18 at the time. You weigh 140 pounds. And you're with a little girl. You're with a 16-year-old girl. Who's really outweighed in the situation? You leave, they chase you.

That means you took flight. If I go against them with this, they lose. Yeah, they might lose the whole case. So she's like, I want to go, but you have an option right here. What do you want to do? And I started thinking about my mom. I started thinking about people who've been really wishing and praying for me and telling me, yo, it's going to get better one day.

Just trust God, believe in God, look for God, he'll be there for you, he'll help you. Then I start thinking about the journey that I took, a spiritual journey I took through the Bible, talking to God, really putting in my trust, my faith in him, telling them like, yo, I'll really do the deal genuinely. I'll really give it to you if I'm able to get some light. And I'm remembering these things in the moment. And I just think about, like, I close my eyes and I just see hands. And it's like, all right.

And this hand is freedom. and in this hand is freedom, but the only difference is I throw it in the air and hope I catch it. Right. To gamble. This one, I have a felony that follows me for the rest of my life.

But this one is a 50-50. And if I lose, what she's going to tell me? I'm sorry? Right. I tried. No. My mom, my sister, they'll never forgive me. What?

You have freedom? And you didn't take it because, what? Because a felony, they'll never forgive me. I know they won't. I won't forgive myself. You know how that feels? Knowing you had it? So I told it like, yo, I understand you think you could win.

But I'm not willing to gamble, Ms. Don, I'm sorry. I have to take that. I got eight years in. In Rhode Island, capital offenses can't earn good time. The good time system in Rhode Island is you earn 10 days a month if you stay out of trouble, plus whatever days you earn from working and program incentive. I had so long that I stood out of trouble, I had like 1,300 days of good time.

and I had like 250 days of earned time from working. So together I had like 1,500 days of good time, which was like three years and a half. So you've already served 11 years at that point. Real technically. Got the eight years plus the three. Yeah, it's 11. So she's like, yo, if you take this right here,

they're going to give you more good time. I mean, they're going to give you good time that you wasn't even getting because they dropped it from a capital to a manslaughter, which is a regular charge. and you get your good time. You don't have eight. You have 11. 11 and change, let's say.

Yeah. Almost 12. She's like, you do another year. You get out. You go to the other building. There's more programs. There's more good time. And you could maybe get parole.

You're up for immediate parole. Because in Rhode Island, your parole date is 1.30 a sentence. I was at 75% of my sentence. So I was up for immediate parole. I could have got out two months later if they would have gave it to me. I'm like, yeah, let me see it. I have to. I can't.

for this for too long. I wished for this for too long. I went through that mental strain of life for too long. My family, they all thought I was dead. It was like, when you're in jail, you're like a ghost. Like somebody once told me some old head. He was like, yo, young boy, when you're in jail, you're like Casper, a friendly ghost. You remember Casper? I'm like, yeah, I remember Casper. He's like, Casper could see everybody. Nobody could see him. But he was always like aware and in tune. And that's us in jail. We use the phone, video visit. We watch TV. We know what's going. on in life, but nobody ever sees us because we're always there. He's like, that's like a slow, grim existence.

He was like, you understand? And when he put it to me that way, I'm like, yo, it's true. And I was just like, yo, I don't know how my mind has been able to stay intact with this being my existence for so long. And it was letting me feel, like, something was letting me feel inside is like, yo, God is protecting you. God is watching over you. You know what I'm saying?

You're covered with the blood of Jesus. It's making sure that your mind stays intact because your purpose. is important and it's not for it to go down here. This is a stop. This is all things that I'm feeling inside after reading the Bible, getting accustomed to it, building this. And then when I'm faced with these situations where I got to make this decision, I'm feeling this inside.

I'm like, yeah, this is my end of the deal that I'm getting. And now I have to do my part. So I tell you, I want it. Let me see it. She's like, are you sure? I really feel like I can win. I'm like, I'm sorry. I have to take it.

Let me get out of here. What are you doing? He's like, I don't want you to follow. I don't want you to have this file on you. I'm like, oh, I'm willing to, I'm willing to accept it. As long as I'm free, that's all that matters. Okay, I'm going to bring you to court in seven days, and we're going to take this deal. We go to court, the victim's mom is there, his family's there.

It's just me and Ms. Dawn and her assistant. Go to court and they're like, all right, we're here for Mr. Montalvo, such and such, this dad and the third. The victims are able to give an impact statement or whatever it's called, but the mother was, they was trying to let her give a statement to me before I took this time because I have to plead guilty now. So this is technically a win even though it's a loss because they got a conviction out of me. Yeah. So the mother goes and she reads a letter. You can already guess that it's not a pretty one.

Yeah. I hate you. You took from me and you should get life even though you're not. she says something like you're getting you gave me life because the rest of my life i can't get my son back and i'm in my mind i'm like yo why is she saying she wish i got life in rhode island the prosecutor's called the victim's families and ask them if they're okay with the sentence that's about to be given out and if they say no you don't get it same thing like parole you know well i mean she's she wishes it but she also i'm sure was explained by that prosecutor's

or like, look, we go to trial, there's a good chance we lose. This is, this, he does some time, he got that. You go to, I'm telling you right now we lose. So she's got to be okay with it. This is processing in the moment. Right. She's telling me, I hate you. I wish you would have got life.

You deserve life. You're a scumbad, this, that. And I'm like, why is she saying that? She had to agree to this. Then I'm like, they must have told her. If she doesn't take it, they're not going to get nothing. Even though they got the years out of me, you know? So I listened to her and,

I was looking at her. My lawyer was like, don't look at her. Look straight. And I know why she said it now, because I'm not in the wrong. Yes, somebody had to suffer. Yes, somebody's family is hurting. Yes. But if everybody minds their business, everybody goes home.

I never crossed path with these people in my life. And I didn't have to cross paths with them. You understand? I respect life now. I'm not going to have road rage incidents because I don't know what the next person has. I don't know what they got going on in their mind. And I'm trying to make it home. And I was 18 at the time.

These people were 26, 27. years old, grown men. How you don't know to stay in your car? How you don't know to mind your business? You don't know what the next person has. You think because you was in the military or whatever. I don't know what they were thinking, right? But they ended up on the losing side of the stick. And yes, I lost as well, and I have compassion for people's family. But at the end of the day, I'm not wrong here. That's why Ms. Dawn is telling me, don't look at her. Don't give her that. Because if you look at her, you got to look at her with a puppy face. Like if you did something bad. And if you don't do something, what happens to you that day?

What happens to your girlfriend that day? You just don't know. You understand? So I take it, I sign, go back to the jail, and it's a big movie. Yo! Yo! We heard, yo! Everybody's fake happy for me and this and that.

And I ain't accepting it, obviously, because you was all just wishing 20 years on me and telling me to take 25. You know what I'm saying? So I'm not accepting none of that fake jail. love. Everybody just acts fake for they could know what happened. They kind of heard a little bit because COs was telling them like I was going to court for such and such, but they wasn't fully sure. So like, yo, we heard that you signed. Like, what's up? I'm just keeping it to myself. I sign. I go to the sentence buildings. And once people see me in the sentence buildings, they realize like, yo, you took time. What did you take? People have been seeing me in the intake

for years with a case lingering to where they were sure I was doing life. They're like, Nobody stays there for that long and they're going to make it home, bro. You're a fried. This is how everybody's thinking. There's people that got old in there, like, just looking at me. Like, yo, I've been seeing you since you was young. I saw you when you were skinny. I've been doing so much calisthenics over the years.

I got a build now. I'm coming out of there. I'm 175. I went in there at 140. You know what I'm saying? People see me grow up. Literally, the CEOs were telling me like, damn, kid, we're watching you grow up. I didn't even have, like, a mustache when I went in there.

You know what I'm saying? So there's inmates that are like, yo, I can't believe it. You're in minimum. How are you in minimum? And finally I'm talking like, yeah, man, I took some time, man. I got the self-defense. Oh, you got the self-defense? Wow.

And the irony of it is like they charged me with something. And then they made me cop out to something to make it look like they did me some sort of a favor. And in real life, I was supposed to get that man's daughter from day one jump. And then maybe go down or take that. they made me go to the top just to go back down to surface level. But it is what it is, you know? I'm just grateful that it went the way it did. But I finally was able to finish the time I get out and I have to re-experienced life.

I understand that life changed on me. People grew up. People had kids. People died. Like, it was a decade. It was from 2015 to the end of 2024. I got out December 3rd, 2024. I had a few weeks left for that year.

And then it was New Year's. I'm 27 at the time. A few months. I got like three months till my birthday, three, four months to my birthday or whatever. Six months till my birthday or something like that. And I realized a decade passed. And I'm like, damn, like, in jail, you swear you hit. Like, you swear a time didn't pass you by.

Because you watch TV. You could see the trends. Yeah, no. People tell you on the phone, what's new? Bro, I've never seen an iPhone. I was having trouble with the iPhone. Yeah, I mean, when you get out. And plus, when you get it after 10 years,

you're driving through the old neighborhood. Like there's fucking buildings. Everything looks renovated. There's buildings that are gone. It's like this is a whole neighborhoods can turn into like, oh my God, this is a nice neighborhood. This used to be a shit hole or used to be a shit or, you know. And it looks better.

Or it used to be a nice neighborhood and like, dang, bro, it went bad. That's what it was. I went to the city and there was like, burnt, abandoned apartments was gone. There's complexes. There's a, I'm like, oh, wow. I go to downtown. I'm seeing new restaurants. This, that.

I don't even want to make an Instagram because I just wonder like, damn, I wonder what people going to look like. 2015. It was the beginning of that. Yeah, but I'm saying, like, you, they were still kind of like malls and shit, right? Like, you, there's like no, there's very few malls. Like, you get out now and you, you go to, like, your old, the old mall. Mad, empty stores. It's, like, nobody's there.

Online took over. So it was, like, different for me. And I realized, like, it was hitting me. I was free, like, yo, I really just did a bid. I really look different than everybody. Like, everybody out here is skinny and malnourished, bro, and I just look big. And everybody's like, yo, wow, you look so different. And I'm not realizing until I got to do stuff. I got to get an ID. I don't have a driver's license. I don't have a social. I don't have a birth certificate. I never worked. I've never had experience being an adult because my beginning of my experience,

I got stuck in there. And I remember thinking. to myself like, yo, I hope I'm not immature around people who are mature because I got frozen time at 18. And that was a big fear of mine coming home. Like, yo, I really hope that people don't look at me like cringy. So I used to really try to be serious and stuff like that around people when I first came home because I'm a real goofy person. Everybody who knows me, they know I laugh. I catch wreck. I make jokes, you know? So I was like really inexperienced and I had to really practice driving and I had to like let people tell people, yo, let me go in the parking along with your car, stuff like that, you know what I mean?

And I have one of my aunts, she works out of five guys. She ended up letting me work there for a little bit. I got some experience and that's a really compressed. It's like a bad little, I'm saying? It's hot. It's frustrating, but it gives you good work experience. And then I was able to, um, through somebody I met in prison, they got out and they promised me in there like, yo, when I get out, I'm going to put you on with my dad and we're going to

work out of speedy. We're going to do all your changes. And it's a good job. He kept his word. He got out. He looked for me and he told me, yeah, bro, come work. And I started working. And that's why I was able to experience and learning how to save money and pay rent and pay bills.

And just being an adult, you know. And it would hit me, like, I would get small stints of depression because I'm like, damn. I feel like I'm 18. Like, I have an 18-year-old car. I had like an 05 camry when I got out. That's what you have when you're 18, you know? I have like, I was staying in a room, I was paying rent. That's what you do when you're like a teenager.

You know what I mean? And I just felt young. And everybody was out here and I was seeing like beamers and people have lease cars and jewelry and people own cribs and stuff already. And I'm seeing kids. And I'm like, damn, man. So I would go through like little small stents of depression because I'm like, damn, I'm supposed to have a kid right now.

And you know, stuff like that. But I was going to church. And when I was in church, it was like a really comforting energy. that was letting me feel like, yo, everything is not for everybody. Every life mold is not for everybody. So, like, you're not supposed to have what you don't have. That's it. Nobody stole it.

Look, you're here now. You're in one piece. Don't think that you lost. You know what I'm saying? Because you have your own set of time that you have to do things. It's in my timing for you. It's my will for you. This is what I'm hearing in church.

This is what I'm believing. So I just started praying differently. And I'm like, all right, it's my turn to keep my end of the bargain. I'm not going to complain. You know, I'm going to do what I can to serve you and look for you and just... Complaining doesn't help. You know, it doesn't help anything. It just makes you look bitter.

I see old heads that get out of jail. It not just makes you better. It makes everything worse complaining about it. And there's nothing more cringe than somebody who's mad at everybody. Yeah. It's not, it's not anybody's fault. If I get out here and be like, you left me, you didn't put no money in my account. You broke up with me.

There's that. It's not nobody's fault that I went. I could have ran. in real life. Nobody owes you anything anyway. Nobody owes me nothing. Right. And I realize that now.

So when you see like, sir and old heads, they finish their bed and they come out here like, no, I don't pick up. Nobody's call. I'm straight.

I understand you want to stay out of trouble. But if you're doing it in a manner that's bitter because people didn't do A, B, and C, you're wrong. Yeah, you're still doing time. Exactly. And I wanted that behind me.

So when I was in church, I feel like God revealed that to me. Like, yo, my will for you is not your will. What you thought was your will for your life with that music and that street and what you thought was your brothers, and all that was never the will. That's just what you got comfortable in.

And that's what you try to accept. Mind you, I told you, I got myself in a category of good and bad, and I thought I belonged to the bad. And I was good with that. No, but God let me feel like that wasn't the will. You have a talent. I gave you the talent. And the talent is for my kingdom and for my purposes.

Because you was about a will, let's say my talent is a sword in a battle. It's a specific sword that puts in specific work in a battle, right? And I was about to use that sword. for the wrong reasons, right? So I felt like God was telling me like, yo, you was trying to use your talent for what I didn't want you to use it for. You was trying to use your mind, your body,

and your spirit for the other side. And I want you for me. And since we made a deal, I don't physically hear the voice of God talking to me. But it's like over time, you read the Bible, you go to church, you feel like God has revealed certain proverbs and wisdoms to you.

And you just start, in your mind, you feel conviction. Like, oh, that must be for me. Oh, yeah, that seems, yeah, okay. So you start understanding like, ah, it was never my way. You know what I'm saying? God loves me enough to where he yanked me from what I was in

because I was too deep in it. And he put me in a boiling pot, but it didn't kill me or overtake me. You for what I'm saying? It got me to a point to where now I'm refined. When you put golden fire, it melts into liquid. It don't look like gold. When it comes out, it's shining, you understand?

And it's cliche. A lot of people say that, but I really take it like that, you know? and I'm in the world and I'm realizing like, all right, I can exude that energy the same way. I just have to do it differently. There's people in the world who don't understand why they have the energy they have. Why? Because trauma is normalized. And in pop culture, when you're in the hood, when you're from the hood, pop culture rules, hip-hop, all of that, right?

It's going to show you to normalize trauma. It's going to show you how to be damaged and abandoned and feeling like you're lost and you're broken because that's what sells. Right? people who are damaged, they draw attention, especially if they could shine and be some sort of a success story with what they are. Because it's like this.

It's like, yeah, I'm bad. What? You like me because I'm bad. We all love to see that as Americans. You know what I'm saying? So when you're from the hood and you're getting influenced by that, it's hard for you to break out of that.

But when you overcome it and you get to the other side, which a lot of people don't get to because they die or they get life, you get to the other side and you say, hold on. That wasn't the case. then you look at somebody who looks like you,

like there's 18-year-olds I look at him right now, and they be with the gun like, yeah, this is my best friend right here. Ha, ha, ha, this is fun. I love this life. I'm living fast, and you be like, damn, you don't know. You really don't know, bro. Like, there's so much that you don't know. And somebody with a suit can't tell them nothing.

Because they're like, you don't know my life. You'll never understand my life. But somebody who looks like me will resonate with them because they be like, oh, sure you live my life? What you got to say? What do you think? talking about. You know what I'm saying? And then they realize and they, some of them, they'll brush past, this guy went to jail, came out talking about God, he's soft, jail made him

soft. But some of them will get courage like, damn, he's doing it. And he looks like me. And he's not scared. He's brave. Damn, I could kind of do it. Because it's all about rejection. Rejection and being accepted, it's one of the biggest things, right? So being accepted rules. In the hood, you have to be accepted. We're tough to shoot guns. We're tough to kill. We're tough to still, but we're not tough to be a part of the crowd, right? That's the biggest fear that we have. If we start talking about God or positivity, we're instantly rejected because it's the counter of what our lifestyle is. So obviously it's going to reject us, and we don't want to be not cool. We don't want to be cool in balls. We don't want to be the Jesus freak, how people say,

you know, this guy found Christ, this guy's weird. I'm not talking to this duel. You know what I mean? We don't want that. It burns us inside, so a lot of us, we let it rule us. until we see somebody because the most thing that we see is the bad. So until we see somebody doing the counter, some people never see it. But until we see somebody doing the counter, we don't have the strength to muster it up to be like, nah, nah, nah, no, no. You are wrong. You know what I'm saying?

And that's what I try to tell people. Like, yo, at the end of the day, bro, it's not about being accepted because if you're accepted and you just follow the leader, you're going to walk yourself into a hole. The problem is we walk ourselves into that whole quick 16, 17 years old. When I was in jail, nine, I would say at least nine of my friends passed away. Right. And that's almost a friend for every year. And one thing that I tell people is like one thing they all had in common, they all thought they had more time.

It was 23, 24, 25, you know, they was all young. And they would come in and out of there and I would see them and we would talk. And they would be like, feeling bad for me. Damn, bro. I hate that you're in this situation. And I'm like, yo, don't worry. You know what I'm saying? I believe in God, God, God.

got my back. I'm just taking it for what it is. But I would tell them like, yo, take it from me, bro, that I'm in the situation. Don't play, bro. Like, we don't have all the time that we think we do to get right. And they'll be like, yeah, yeah, I feel you. And get out and do the same thing. And then they'll die.

You know what I mean? And then I'll be like, damn, bro. I know they thought they had enough time. I know they thought they was going to be 30 and then be good. And none of them made it to 30. So, like, we all think we're going to have unlimited time. to gather ourselves and do whatever it is that we gotta do. So we continue to live the way we want and we don't.

Hey, you guys, I appreciate you watching. Do be a favor, hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you get a note that of the video is just like this. Also, if you want to follow Rico, you can go into the description box. We're gonna leave all of his socials. It's Rico still made it, but we're gonna leave all the links so you can just click on the link, shoot over, you can follow, subscribe, and follow his journey about after, you know, getting out of prison and, you know,

It's a redemption story. Coming back, you know, making a comeback. All right, I appreciate you guys watching. Thank you very much. Please share the video. If you want to be a guest, by the way, we're going to leave our website. So you can go, you can click on that link. You can go there.

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