Matthew Cox | Inside True Crime Podcast - The Secret Benefits Of Being A Dealer | Women, Power & Redemption

Episode Date: September 15, 2023

The Secret Benefits Of Being A Dealer | Women, Power & Redemption

To succeed in the future of work, forward thinkers use AI to deliver measurable results. Workday is the AI platform for HR and finance that frees you from the mundane so you can focus on more meaningful work. Workday, moving business forever forward. My empire is growing. Right. I got a good name because I always pay. I never owe you need to get this money. Right.

Because I don't mind getting 15 grand taken. I can't have 50, 60s grand taken. In the drug world, when you got girls, you got a flock. So we're going to the casino five nights a week. I'm picking up a girl or two or three. And I would tell the girls, if your friend comes, we're going to have sex. You ain't got an interview like this, bro. You ain't got no interview like this because you're going to get the dirty.

When you're a user and you get busted, you ain't got your head right yet. Right. And you stumble and you make mistakes. I didn't make those mistakes. They take me to the room, set me down, and there's a recorder right there. they're kind of cocky too right say listen to this guys we're probably going to testify against me anyway so i might as well just telling myself so you're preaching the choir i'm with you i'm with you i hear you i'm going to provide that's what i'm going to do and i didn't get to spend as much

time with my kids i missed a lot when angel was born it changed bro i'm not to taking no women out. I'm not getting involved with nothing. Until I get my son, I'm getting involved with nothing. Hey, this is Matt Cox, and I'm here with John Rodriguez. We're going to be hearing his crime story and also about his son. I appreciate you coming on. Thank you. Thank you. It's good to be here. So let's, you know, we've talked a little bit about, we've talked about the story. and can you let's just start you know start at the beginning like where were you born your family parents brothers sisters okay sure um i don't have any brothers or sisters i'm an only child i was born in castor valley california my mom and dad were married um for five years got a divorce

um and then um me and my mom eventually moved to la and my dad stayed in heyward castor valley area so at that time I got to see my dad in the summer right it was probably second grade yeah second grade what did what did they do uh my dad worked for pack bell which is AT&T which I don't know what it is now but back then it was pack bell where they fixed telephones which they don't do anymore you know they did up wire and all kinds of different things like that and then my mom at the time was a stay-at-home mom and then when we moved out here

she got into the nursing facilities and was a nurse and she worked I worked in a convalescent home, and she did medical records. Okay. And raised you? And raised me up here in L.A. And I saw my dad in the summers for about two months every summer from June to the end of August-ish. Right. Okay.

Were you, I mean, were you like a good kid, bad kid? I never really got into trouble. Even in elementary school, no problems. We ended up moving to Whittier. So I was lucky enough to go elementary to transition to junior high to high school all in the same. Like we all went together. I didn't move to different high schools and different things at that time. So, yeah.

So we get to Whittier and we're living with my grandma because we're trying to get our feet together and get everything together. And then we ended up rent in a house next door. So I lived right next door to my grandma, which I was very close with. So rest in peace. Charlotte, which my daughter. my daughter's my daughter's middle name is after so Olivia Charlotte Rodriguez after my grandma you you had said that like we talked about your your mom like there was some issues with your mom yeah so growing up um it's kind of pretty relevant now but back then it wasn't um my mom was a cutter

right so um from the age of as early as i can remember probably five or six up until 25 probably 22 I'd say she probably cut herself 25 times went to the hospital six times so and she was an alcoholic so but her alcoholism is a little bit different than what my dad's alcoholism was but my mom wouldn't drink you know she'd go days and days and days and not drink and then when she drank she was getting drunk right there was no tipsy there was no in between she would get obliterated right and i think my mom had some type of schizophrenic and stuff because back then we didn't know anything about it but looking back now like yeah that wasn't right right so you know i'm six years old my mom's cutting herself she's on the couch

drunk and i'm seeing blood right i got problems i'm set i got no one to turn to i'm by myself i'm selling the child so um i had to deal with that all my life until i was i think she stopped at 25. And she was cutting, which we'll get into, but she was cutting herself way before that, but I didn't know that until I was in my 20s when I found out, wait a minute. My dad knew she was a cutter? I didn't know that then. I was going to say, like, it's like, you know, obviously I've written a bunch of stories. Like there's a story about a guy named Frank Amadeo. Like he was hospitalized several times and like they couldn't, they couldn't quite understand that he had, you know, like they didn't really.

really know what bipolar was and he had features of schizophrenia so it's like you know what I'm saying like mental illness back in like the 70s and 80s like people don't realize now you know like kids or younger people don't realize now that back in the 70s they didn't talk about it they didn't admit to it it wasn't regularly diagnosed it wasn't taught that much so you know you just um you know you just have to suffer through it was a different time because I sit there and I you know I as I got I sat there and wondered, like, why didn't I go live with my dad? My mom's got problems. Yeah.

You know, I say this, like, I wasn't raised. You know, I survived. Right. You know, and which we'll get into probably periodically through this podcast was I'm not trying to be arrogant, you know, which we talked about. I'm just keeping it 100. I'm keeping it the truth. It is what it is.

People can say whatever they want. But my looks was my medication. Right. I was fortunate to be very good looking. my whole life, and having girlfriends from probably 12 years old, I didn't need to do drugs. I didn't need to get in trouble. I wasn't a troublemaker because I had girls. And with that, what's my trouble?

Yeah, that's your addiction. That's your retreat. Yeah, that was my comfort. You know, it was like, hey, I know it's comfort for all, man, but for me it was like, I didn't need to do bad stuff. I didn't need to get in trouble because I had multiple girlfriends at 12. 13, 14. But once I hit 15, 16, it was over.

I had a car, a little bit of money, girls, there was, it was good times. It beats not riding your bike to their house. No, no, no, no, no, meeting them at the mall. You had a calm because you didn't have a cell phone, mom and dad, but once I hit 16 and got the car, it was all good. It was all good.

Right. Were you committee, were you doing anything? Like you weren't, at 16, 17, you weren't, you were just going to high school, not like committing crimes No crimes Going to high school Smoked a little weed

When I was probably 14 Which My best friend Jim Federico Right So he's the one which we'll get into you later That had drug problems Right But I go to my dad's house

Because he's in San Francisco right Hayward And I visit him And I'm like 13 And I go there for the summer Like every summer Probably Yeah probably 12 or 13 And our neighbors

are smoking weed. I never smoked weed. But when I go there, I start smoking weed, I come back to L.A., right? I'm like 13, and I tell my best friend, because he's a pretty straight shooter then, right? And I says, hey, dude, you got to try this stuff, Matt. It's amazing. And he starts smoking weed, and then he gets into other things later on in life. I don't go, I don't really do any drugs later on in life, which we'll talk about, but that's where it kind of all started. Right. So you graduate, what happens? So you graduate at high school? did you? Yeah, so I graduate high school in 1985, but your high. So, interesting enough, my mom marries a guy who works for a cardboard box factory where they make boxes. I forgot

the name of it, but it's city of industry. They'll probably pop it in my head sometime. And his name is George, George Shipley. Anyhow, he's working in this cardboard fox factory his whole life. This is what he does. He's making like 40 grand a year, 45 grand. We're living okay we're living pretty good actually 45 grand a year in 1985 it's not bad right it's cool so now I'm thinking that's what I'm gonna do because you know we were poor me and my mom when we were young we're poor so I just want to make money to survive and live a decent life I'm not thinking living big I'm not thinking going to

college I'm not thinking going to military I'm thinking I'm gonna make I want to make a decent living yeah but now I'm maybe more than getting by you know because we weren't getting by we were doing pretty good right you know 45 grand year is probably like 150 now right so it was pretty good so i start working for core craft two days after i turn 18 because they won't hire me until i turn 18 right so i turn 18 in september and then um i start working there two days after and then i worked there for 17 years grinding it was a grind hated that place 17 years daily

waiting for the clock to get to whatever the end time was so yeah I worked there for 17 years start in 1985 and I start at the bottom within probably three years

I'm making 18 bucks an hour and that's 1980 well probably 87 I make 18 bucks an hour it's not bad right it's like 30 40 bucks that you know I'm and I'm 20 you know

and then I become about 22 I become a working foreman so now I'm in charge of about and that's pretty young for a 22 year old guy but you know I moved up I got to which we'll get into more and more but I have a very strong work ethic I don't play it's work I work so and then obviously they recognize that and I'm a bit of a perfectionist so everything's got to be done right and it's got to be done perfect or close to perfect or I got a problem you know so um

Yeah, I work there. I'm 22. I'm supervising guys. I'm making 45 grand a year, 40 grand a year, 1980. I become a supervisor then about three years later, and I'm there for 17 years. Grinding.

You know, which is what I try to teach my grandchildren now is Jaden's about 12 and Juju's like eight. You need to go college. You need to learn trade. You need to learn something. you can't be grinding right having a life that grinds it's horrible it's horrible right and I lived it's what I say I'm doing here grind it and just grinding out podcast yeah I mean it's just um did you get married did you so yeah um so being that I'm an only child now we'll probably get into it later or sometime I have a

half brother and a half sister that live in Georgia so my mom and dad divorced when I'm in elementary school my mom never has any other kids and gets remarried when i'm like 15 my dad on the other hand he probably gets married i'm probably nine he probably gets married when i'm 12 to a lady and she's got two kids and um they end up having two kids so he has a daughter and he has a son victor daughter lucia and victor five kids in that whole grouping but i'm i'm away you know i'm i'm the visitor dude Like, I'm the guy that comes on the summer, you know, and then I'm the guy that leaves in August. So they deal with me for two months. You know, when I say deal with me, not that I got into trouble, but I wasn't, I had an issue.

My issue when I was younger was my mom's an alcoholic, okay? I got big problems. I got, I got massive problems. I'm eight at nine. I don't got big problems. I got massive problems. But when I go to my dad, And I had told this to Gail, sorry, I told this to Gail probably four or five years ago, I was a little jealous, I was very jealous.

Who's Gail? Gail is my dad's second wife. Okay. Okay, so at this time, I don't know this, but through my therapy and stuff, I kind of realized that I kind of gave Gail issues. I did give Gail issues, sorry, but I did. Not like anything major, but I wasn't the greatest kid, but I wasn't horrific. I was a bad kid to her, specifically. Because I was jealous.

She was a good woman. She is still a good woman. And I didn't have that. Right. You good? It's okay. Take your time. Yeah.

it was rough it was rough right it's hard to it's hard to explain but when you're eight and you're by yourself and your mom's drunk I used to use the word. I never even used the word drunk. I use the word obliterated. Right. Like, beyond drunk. And you're right, you're by yourself. You know? And she's

cutting her wrist. And it's like, it's different levels. Because it's not like she cuts her wrist one time and it's a problem. It's, she cuts her wrist multiple times and it's a problem. But it goes into

another layer of which I didn't recognize at the time but I recognized it later is you don't know when it's going to happen and you're nine. Is mom cutting her wrist tonight? Is she not? Is she going to talk to people that aren't there?

Is she not? And I'm dealing with this and that's where I kind of got I don't know if it was it was just as bad as her cutting her wrist and taking her to hospital get stitches or if it was just as bad as being nine not knowing if she was going to do it or not.

Your grandmother was next door. Yeah. Right? Yeah. I mean, she know what was going on. She knew. Yeah. They all knew.

My mom has a twin sister, rest in peace, Jackie, who's my godmother. They all knew. Everybody knew. You know, and we'd go to the hospital. She gets stitched up. I mean, I don't remember all the days, but I remember this specifically because it just stands out of Super Bowl Sunday. The Rams are playing the Pittsburgh Steelers. I'm thinking 79, somewhere in there.

80, 79, 78, somewhere in there when they play the Steelers, my mom cuts her wrist that night. So I got to go run to my cousin's house where my cousin's at, Kathy, rest in peace. She's like a sister to me. I got to run to her friend's house to tell her, I got a problem. My mom's cut her wrist, you know, and my grandma probably wasn't home. So they had to take her to the hospital that day, but we probably... When she goes to the hospital with her wrist cut, do they, like, bake her actor? You know, like, do they hold her for three days?

No. They just stitch her up and say, Stitch her up, brought her home. And no one ever came and said, where's just got kids? What are they doing? Where are they at? Let's interview them.

Let's talk to them. No. They never did. It was a long time ago. Yeah. Yeah, it's a different world then. Well, and your dad, but your dad knows, but he's not, he's got his own family.

Yeah, I kind of always felt, I don't want to say off the cuff, but I kind of felt somewhat out of place, but not like I didn't matter. Because my dad loved me. He took care of me, he paid his child support. He saw me every summer until I was about 14, but then I didn't want to go with him anymore in the summer

because I got girls. Yeah. And I'm not leaving the girls to go spend time with my dad at 14. So about 14, 15, now I don't see my dad in the summer. I still see him. He comes and sees me once or twice a year. because he loves me I got you know he's got his issues he's dealing everybody's got issues right everybody's dealing with stuff so for us to sit here and say bad person you do this wrong you do

that wrong everybody's dealing with stuff you know I dealt with some heavy stuff but people are dealing with stuff we don't know about you know right so I have um when it comes to mental health I deal deal with it a little bit differently than I think most because I realized what my mom had maybe if she had been diagnosed, but alcoholism. I mean, what is that going to do? You go to AA, you can get help, their support, like people don't realize back in the 70s and 80s, like there wasn't like a huge,

it wasn't a huge amount of awareness. And I don't think, and I think it was frowned upon. When my dad in the 70s went to the doctor and explained that he would drink and then he would basically drink until he couldn't stop drinking and it would go on for a week straight and he would miss work and then he'd wake up

and get sober and wouldn't drink again for six months. The doctor said, you're an alcoholic. He almost got into a fist fight with him. He said, you're an alcoholic. He was, you're a functioning. He was, you're an alcoholic. He said, you're just not a functioning alcoholic. You don't go home every night and drink

and you're okay the next morning. He's like, you drink too. And I forget with a term that they use, but, you know, like you said, you know, he drinks till he basically blacks out. And then he's sober for weeks on in. And, but when, but the term alcoholic was such a huge insult. My mom said literally they almost got into a fist fight in the middle of the,

of the, of the patient room because my dad starts screaming at him. They start yelling at each other back and forth, you know, two grown men in the 70s, you know, they're ready to macho, you know, come to, you know, start fighting. And so, yeah, he, yeah, but I mean, that's the whole thing. Like now, if you said you're an alcoholic, you might be like, no, no, why the, you know, it wouldn't be a fist fight. Yeah. But back then, it was so frowned on.

Right, right. But back then, the idea of it, you're ready to start swinging. Yeah. You know, and my dad wasn't a fighter, but I mean, that's, that's like, does people don't even understand? Like, if you're in your 30s now and you hear that, you're like, oh, didn't he understand? That's a different world in the 70s and 80s than it is now. Nobody cared about your feelings back then.

Yeah, it was way different. I mean, it was just different. That's why it's just like, she's going. She's cutting her wrist over and over again. And they're not hospitalizing her. They're not sending out a social worker to see how her child's doing. Like, none of that existed. And if it did, like it would have to be horrific for them to actually come out and see you.

Neighbors would have to be calling. You'd have to be being beaten in sight of everybody for them to come out. They wouldn't even consider that abuse. No. Well, she's cutting herself. I think you're, um, madmen, there's a little snippet in Madman when they're in the 50s, right? You've seen Madman? Yeah, yeah.

well one of the guys slaps the kid you know for misbehaving at a picnic or something right and in the 50s I guess that's what they did that was a neighbor you couldn't do that now but that was you know back then you you had to be nice to your neighbors like no never you don't touch my kid what about getting spankans in elementary school back then you get you get a swat I never got a swat but you get a swat oh yeah yeah I was spanked yeah I spanked multiple times do that now yeah yeah yeah come on do that right now your kid Johnny is in elementary school and he goes home and he tells his mom, hey, the principal used a wooden stick and he spanked me for misbehaving.

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I was thinking my sister would scream at my dad and say, I'm going to call. Both my sisters and my brother were adopted. And then my mom went in for a hysterectomy, and they found out she was pregnant with me. I think I heard that in one of the podcasts. Yeah, yeah. So, but my sister, my one sister, she was a problem. She used to, screaming, she'd say, I'm going to go find my real parents. And my dad would say, your real parents gave you.

up. Your real parents already decided they don't want you. I mean, just like you wouldn't say that to a kid now. Like that's brutal. You know? They already, or she'd say, I'm going to, he, she said, you only adopted us. You only adopted me so you'd have a slave.

And he would say, um, and she'd go, I'm going to call social services. And he'd go, call them. Yeah. Call them. Here's the phone. Go live in the projects. He said, you'll be begging to come back here. I mean, this is brutal. You wouldn't talk you wouldn't say that now now people would be like that's horrible you can't talk to your child

like that you're doing so you're doing damage it's damage it's emotionally damaging yeah yeah yeah she was emotionally damaged anyway um so let me a comment on what you said when you said you want me to send you you back so i dealt with the i dealt with some some issues i felt big issues but when i was about 12 when i was at my dad's house because my mom would always tell me you want to go live with your dad you want to go live with your dad and i'm like shit no i don't want to go live with my dad and then when i was at my dad's house and I got, I didn't really get into trouble. And I think they're going to, when they see this podcast, I didn't get in trouble. But me and my stepbrother and sister, stepbrother, we got to some type of trouble. We were sent into our room. And then we made some noise in room,

probably fighting or whatever. And my dad comes in and he tells me, and I'm 12, and this is very traumatic for me. Live at a point of my life, excuse me, or my dad tells me, do you want to go live with your mom? You want me to send you back to your moms? So now you got a 12-year-old. kid who's who's effed I don't want to use the F word he's thinking I'm thinking to myself not at that time

because I'm already emotionally damaged with my mom but and I'm a little damaged with my dad too because I'm like I'm going to have an outsider like I'm seeing this I'm not stupid I'm 12 you know I'm kind of like the outsider guy on you know the guy that comes for two months but when your dad tells you want me to send you back to your mom's and your mom

tells you you want to go live with your dad now I'm thinking no one wants me right but I didn't think it exactly at that time But I know it was in me at that time. You know, because I did a lot of therapy, you know, and I started piecing things together later in life in my 20s. But having that being said to me at 12, and I'm not a bad kid, I'm not getting into trouble.

I never got suspended from school. Right. I never, I had one meeting in high school with one of the teachers, the auto shop teacher, but I never got suspended. I never got in any trouble. so I was a pretty good kid um so once he says that then I'm just like no and then I stood but like I said as I got older because it was rough until 12 super rough I had no outlet I had no no getaway I had no comfort I guess for me comfort would have been sports I watch a lot of sports I

still do 95% of what I watch is sports or sports talk so I just that was I guess my medication at that time was sports okay but um like i said when we when i was telling you earlier or we talked earlier once i hit 13 14 i hit my stride right like i'm hitting my stride so i'm good i'm not good with um with what's going on with my mom because it's still going on but now i can't be hit or beaten right because now i can hold myself right i was going to say now you're you're a 35 year a woman is not going to be able to control a 15 year old boy right there's just it's too strong they're too big they're too it's just not going to happen yeah i didn't get i stopped getting beat at 12 right probably 10 12 yeah probably 12 so when do you you eventually you graduate i'm assuming

high school you start working at the the um i worked at a corrugated sheet factory right so step one corrugated sheets step one would be getting the paper step two would be make it into corrugated sheets step three is where my stepdad worked okay he made the boxes we made the sheets okay at a totally separate place but it was it paid more money where I lived where I worked so he got me the job there right and then I mean you said you so you met your white you you got married yeah um I met my my wife Lucy um and we had three kids I was 21 when we had our first kid Johnny um I bought my first house when I was 21. That's young.

Yeah, yeah. I bought it in Asperia. It was on an acre because I didn't have a dad. You know, I had a dad. Sorry, I don't want to disrespect my dad. I don't want to say I didn't have a dad. I have a dad influence, big influence. I'll just say this.

He wasn't a big, he was very little influence in my life. Right. Okay. But he loved me. So I got nothing bad to say, and I take care of him now, which we'll get into. Okay. But, yeah, I got nothing bad to say. I buy a house in Asperia, okay, and,

And it was on an acre, four bedroom, 1,800 square foot, one-story house. I marry a woman who's got three kids, okay? Peter, Joe, rest in peace, and Mike. And he's, Pete, her son is about 12 years younger than me. So I'm 21, she's 28. So we get together. We have three kids. We're living in Asperia for about five years.

I'm working at CoreCraft. I'm moving up. by the time we're um you know i'm 25 24 i'm a i'm a supervisor so we're living a we're living a middle class life you know we're taking a little vacations here and there we've got go house we ended up moving from there bought another house in west covina in a better area and uh that was all good until um till we transitioned into us having problems and me seeing my best friend again because me and my best friend jim we were always kind of in and out he went to the army he comes back um he goes off living around me but we're not really contacting each other and then

then we get into contact and then then when me and my ex-wife have problems and we're we're getting a divorce it's it wasn't said then but we're getting a divorce i'm like you know it's coming it's coming It's 19, year 2000, probably 1999. It's coming. I'm leaving on the weekends. I'm going to his house. I'm getting away because we're getting a divorce. I'm out.

We're done. It's just time. Yeah. So that's when it goes, it goes south. It doesn't go south real quick, but it goes south. Because he's dealing meth. Right. He's a drug addict then.

Did you know that moving into the place? I didn't move in. I just went there. on the weekends. Okay. Okay. Because I worked Corcraft, you know. Right. So I'm there. I'm the stray shooter, but I see, now, now I'm seeing a whole different world now.

Because everything changes once once I see him and see what he's doing. Then that's where the whole true crime story comes in. So he is he making good money

or just, he's just a regular dealer or? he's a user, he's getting by. Okay. You know, he's not selling anything big. Just enough to keep himself in. Keep him going, keep a float, go to the casino, you know, things like that. So, yeah, he's not making good money, but he's making enough to get by.

Support his habit and get by. So, yeah, so when I go there, I'm seeing all kinds of different people coming into his house, you know. And I'm the stray shooter guy. And they think I'm a cop. Like, they're like, hey, is this guy a cop? He doesn't use? Right. You know, why is he here?

And he's like, no, no, no, no. Well, hold on, hold on. I've known this guy since we were 12. Like, we've been best friends since 12. No, this is my dude. Like, he's good. So, yeah, we're doing that. I'm going there.

Maybe me and my wife eventually get a divorce. And then I start seeing a girl that's a user, okay? And I don't want to mention it. But then I start seeing a girl that's a user. and she's slanging a little bit on the side my buddy's slanging a little bit on the side but I'm not slanging anything and then eventually it starts you know

well you're still working right I'm still working I had back surgery probably four years before I ended up leaving Corecraft but I hurt my back again and I couldn't work so at that time when I'm going to his house on the weekends it's probably you know six months later I hurt my back again

and I don't need surgery but it hurt my back and then I never went back to Corkraft again I just left I went on disability and that lasted about a year and then after that I was slang in then so after that I never went back to Corkraft okay so now you're when you like where are you guys getting meth from

well he's getting it from his connect which I end up being his connect Okay, so he's getting his thing But I'm kind of seeing how everything's going here You know And my best friend gives me One of his people to sell to So that's how it all started

With like little quarter-round stuff A-balls, things like that And then from him I picked up another one And then I picked up another one And then I picked up another one And then I'm just basically selling A-Ball's, right? teeners half teeners you know nothing quarter a quarter ounce was probably big right you know but that's all i was just dealing with small users but with with us latinos right we make the shit right

so i ended up meeting another uh mexican dude now this this because burrassa right right like we're we're taking care of each other a little bit i have a little relationship with him and he's bringing me stuff and and he they all know i'm not a user and i'm paying right i don't own nobody nothing i never do you know i get it and they uh bring it they get paid or they front me a little bit front me a lot a bit boom boom boom boom get paid but what i did how how everything grew for me selling the drugs how it really i don't want to use word blossom because that's not a good word, but how it boomed

was I figured out if I bought a quarter pound from the homie, right? I could sell it to the white dude and not make any money. So I buy a quarter pound, let's just say, it's probably about...

You could buy a... Back then you could buy an ounce for like, I want to say, 700 bucks Right Okay This is 19

Or this is 2001 You can buy a quarter ounce For about 700 bucks I would buy a quarter pound from him And then I would Sell it for the same price To this dude But I would get the price

Of a quarter pound Right Okay So I'm making no money here But because I'm buying a quarter pound I'm getting a discount on the ounce so I take and I buy two ounces more say as an example so I'm buying six ounces I'm selling this guy a quarter four of the six but now I'm getting the $600 price I'm not paying

or 550 price because I bought six of them right I'm making no money with him but now I'm getting my ounces at $550 right right so now I'm taking those two ounces this guy's coming almost every day of my house. This guy's buying almost every day because even though this dude is in the game much longer and he's a much bigger dealer than I am. Right. He's not getting my price. Right. Because he's not Rasa. He's not getting my price. Okay. And I'm not saying that's the way it is for everyone. I'm just saying that's the way it was for me in my situation. Right. Okay. So, and also the guys that are bringing me the stuff, they're not dealing with the bullshit. Because I'm not a user.

I'm not telling them a story on why I can't pay and how this time I'll pay him more next time and I'll catch up and blah, blah, no, no, no. You brought it, I paid, he paid, boom. Like, I'd have this guy come over in 45 minutes or something to come pick up his part, and then I take my part and be with it. Come the next day.

Buy another six, boom. Buy another eight eventually. Buy another pound. This guy's buying a half pound. I'm buying a pound, and I'm selling ounces now. and I'm selling quarter pounds now, and I'm selling, you know, this and that. And, you know, now I'm starting to make some money.

You know, now I'm, I don't know what a lot of money is because in the feds, when you go to the feds, you're like, dude, you were selling shit. Right. You know, you think, oh, yeah, I'm selling pounds. That, you're a small time, you know. Yeah, well, you got guys sitting at a table who were shipping in, you know, a 2,000 pounds,

sitting right next to another guy that is doing the same amount of time for bringing a gun to a $10 crack deal. And you're like, this is insane. Like it's, you know, you've got basically street level dealers sitting next to guys that are smuggling thousands of pounds of whatever, meth or

Coke or whatever. So yeah, you go in the feds, it's insane. So every, it's, it's all relative. Like, to me, are you just making your bills or are you making more? You know, are you making, 8,000 month, are you making 20,000 a month? Or 20,000 a week?

Yeah, like what's the best, what's the best week or month you think you had? Are you asking me that question? Oh. I'm going to go with, because it fluctuated, but I can make 50 grand a month. On average, I could, on average then, I would say I was 10,000 a week. I was making 10 G's a week. Yeah. When I was busted, I was probably making at the, 14,000 a week.

Yeah. So you have a good month where you make 50, you have a bad month, you make 30, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're not living with your buddy. You're not living at home. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. But on the road, so there's like a road, right? So you're, I'm, look, kids out there, don't sell drugs.

it's a mess it's a train wreck it's a horrible life it's a no good life and I'm only telling a story okay this is the story right I may have emotion I may smile this guy don't really I care yeah don't sell drugs don't get involved you're gonna throw your life away you're gonna get yourself killed you're getting big trouble Matt I'm just telling you the story bro I I I'll just tell you how it was I'm not fluffing it up because I could have said oh yeah I was making 45,000 a week dude

and how would you know I was or wasn't but I made 14 grand about 12 or 15 grand a week but in the drug world it's a different world okay so you did your crime with a white collar way

you again I'm gonna say just this last time don't commit crimes don't sell drugs I'm just saying what it is you guys can take it for what it is what is worth right

if if you're going to commit a crime if you're going to commit a crime do it by yourself right find a crime don't find a crime

right but if you were if you were if you had to if you had to do a crime okay Keep your co-defendants. You don't have code it. Forget the word co-defendant.

Code-offendant doesn't exist. It's not in your mind. There is no co-defendant. Got it. Okay? Do it all by yourself. Like you did. Sometimes.

But think back when you did it, right? Yeah. If you could have just closed your mouth. Yeah. Not told no one shit. Right. Right. And said, and Maine, you could live a good life, Matt, making 20,

grand a week bro yeah it could live a smooth life right but no that's not what matt did no matt matt went a little bigger but but we're not here for that i've heard your podcast i've heard you on the podcast that's why i'm here because you're cool dude right you're cool dude um you got good energy and we got good energy you know and i was like man we're gonna make good podcasts and that's why i called you but um if you just think if you would have just did your shit small time make 10 15 grand a week didn't tell your girl yeah i try listen i tried i tried to I'm a real estate agent. I try not to think about it all the time.

I'm a middleman. Just rewind if you could have just said, hey, look, check this out. I sell real estate, but I'm just the middleman. Okay? I don't get involved. I take house for sale, the seller, and I take the buyer, and I find the buyer, and I get a cut. That's what I do. You'd have been doing that for how long?

No one would have known shit, you know? I hear you. And that's where the feds, which we're going to get into, They don't play, bro. Yeah. You ain't, you're smart. You're very smart. Uh-uh.

You don't mean anything. And you made some, we'll get into that later, but you made some big mistakes with your case. And I'm sitting there watching your story and I'm like, and I'm hearing. I'm like, oh, I know this dude, because I met you in Atwater where I was at. I didn't meet you, but I met guys like you. You're slick. You try to be slick, right? Right.

You slick. you know what's up what you know how to play you'd think see you'd think you know how to play the game with the feds at least in the beginning am i right and i'm not downing you you didn't know yeah see i didn't get bail so i learned the game yeah okay i didn't get bail oh then you should have known like dude you better roll over bro like you better roll over i did roll over i did you got too much time you got too much time you didn't roll over right you didn't roll over right i thought i did. I wasn't in a good position. When you went to county, when you were in the county, you were in the county, right?

When you first get, the U.S. Marshal's holdover, yeah, in the county. I was in the county county. I never went to the Fed County-ish, whatever you guys call it. I never went there. But you guys are in, maybe you stood yourself too much back then. You're in a special pod. Yeah, but you didn't talk to enough people. Because if you had talked to enough people, they had told you, hey, dude, let me tell you what you need to do. Because that's what happened to me. Okay. But we'll get into that later. because um so don't play bro i know so go so you're you're selling drugs how long does this go on oh probably four years right four years but we'll get back to where i was in the beginning is is once you're once people know what you're doing what you're doing it's kind of like

what we're talking about with uh with the chimpanzees on uh on Netflix right there's there's there's the leader of the pack. Well, I'm the leader of my pack. Right. People are either walking towards you or walking away from you. Oh, they're not walking away, bro. No. No.

And see, because you don't know the drug world. I know you probably interviewed dudes, right? But I know what's up. Look, I've been there. I know the game. I don't know everything, everything, because you say, oh, you know everything. And I could say that, like I know everything,

but I know everything, bro. When it comes to the smaller dealers of pounds, I don't know the game of the big time people but I know how the small game work no one runs away when you got a half pound at home and they're feigning and they need to use and not they're not walking away bro everybody's coming to it.

What I meant was that like in fraud like when it got to be known in Tampa that I was committing fraud on a regular basis then you have your legitimate straight shooter friends or colleagues that walk the other way when they see you come. And then you have guys that know they may need something or want to get in on whatever you're doing. They're there now. Now they're your buddy. Hey, bro. Let's go to lunch. Hey, man. There's a party next Friday. You want to come in the book. Suddenly it's like, well, you never hung out before.

But now you find out that I'm regularly committing fraud and you need something. So now we're buddies. Now you start, now everybody's cozying up to you. They want to be in your circle. even if they don't need anything right then people are smart they know I may need you so I'm going to now I'm going to invite you to all the parties we're going to hang out I'm saying all good things about you it's yeah so that's what I mean is it but your legitimate guys are like yo don't deal with that guy well the thing is it's a little different in the drug world there there is no don't deal with that guy right that guy's got the jewels and and you need those jewels that guy's that guy's got what you need you need you

You ain't walking away. So my empire is growing. Right. I got a good name because I always pay. I never owe, okay? And I would tell the guys that, not even the guy that I got caught up with, because he comes two years down the road.

But the guys that I'm dealing with here in my little empire, I'm always on time. I tell him, because I don't. want to get robbed with 50 grand at my house right because then i'm screwed because not only did i get robbed for 50 grand i still owe him 50 grand what's going to happen it's all good until you don't pay right it's all good everything's great until you tell me dude i got robbed well now this is what we're going to do so um i would tom come over dude you need to come over you need to come over now you need to get this money right because i don't mind getting 15 grand taken i can't have 50 60s grand taken

And they come over to click, you know. And then eventually, I'm not really dealing with eight balls. And I'm not dealing with that anymore. I'm not dealing with, after about a year and a half, I'm no longer dealing with the only, quote, user. Yeah, you're a distributor now you're just distributing. Now I'm distributing to the people selling. Right, to that.

All right, to the deal. No one's calling me and saying, hey, man, can I grab an eight ball? I'm like, dude, you got the wrong guy, bro. Right. You know, now I'm pretty much, I'm just selling quarter pounds, quarter pounds, two ounces, half pounds, things like that, two years in. And two years in, I have, you know, it's kind of like I say, you know, like if you're a rock star, right, you're, you know, you're a rock star, you walk into the room, everyone wants to be around you, everybody's your friend. all the girls are coming it's the same thing in the drug world

everybody's coming all the girls are coming I've kind of thought about this and said this is like if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend and you're a drug user you don't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend right you think you do

you're in some type of relationship with a boy and a girl girl and a boy whatever but there is no boyfriend girlfriend in the drug world because they're all doing stuff everyone I knew then you know and if you're gone the next girl finds another one you know replaceable so that's kind of what i'm doing i got my own

place we're we're a year and a half in and i meet this girl jennifer right jennifer ends up being the baby's mama to the son now the focus of the story's on but she ends up i end up getting her pregnant but mind you you know up until i was selling drugs i'm a straight shooter right like i'm just a regular dude um and you know i'm working but when a year end of selling drugs now i'm getting all kinds of girls like when i talked in high school about having girls i got girls in the drug world when you got girls you got a flock right and it ain't one or two like you got you probably i know how i know how these guys are but you got a flock at 20 right you got 20 girls you can call at any time at any time

we're going to the casino tonight okay and between going to the casino and I told my wife I don't want to embarrass her right because my wife's a very stray shooter straighter than I ever was but this is what this is the truth I'm on the podcast I'm going to hold some stuff back because it would really embarrass my wife right if I said you don't know your wife then you didn't know her then I didn't know her then right so hold stuff again against me that would you i even know you well let's put it this way this is kind of how it went down so we're going to the casino five nights a week i'm picking up a girl or two or three and i'm bringing a friend with me and it's cool we're going to casino and i would tell the girls hey man my friend wants to come and say okay well here's the deal if your friend comes we're going to have sex okay because if we're not all right dude i'm lying that's not how i said it i'm I'm going to tell you what it is. I'm lying.

If your girl that comes isn't going to give me a blowjob, she ain't coming. Why am I going to take her to the casino? Right. Why? If we're not going to do something sexually, why is she coming? Yeah.

I got three of you. She's just the bill. No, you're not riding for free. Right. You know, you're not coming here and enjoying the night and thinking you're going home. You're going to come and we're going to do things. Right.

But not forcefully, but they know the game. All the girls know the game. Let's don't play stupid, okay? Let's don't play dumb. You all know the game. You all know what's up. There's no, oh, I didn't know. You knew.

Everybody knows. I'm telling you beforehand, don't bring her. Let her know because she ain't coming. I don't need her around. I got three of you. The fourth one, does it matter or not? I don't know. Maybe it does.

Maybe it doesn't. So what does the chicks say? What do they say? No. Or they say, no, she's fine with it. She's good. She knows. No.

No, no, no, no, no. See, that's the, I know you've interviewed people, but you ain't got an interview like this, bro. You ain't got no interview like this, because you're going to get the dirty, you know, you're going to get, you're going to get the info. Oh, no, dude. You don't, it's like, I don't know what's the word.

You know the word where you, it's just, it's just said. Like, it's said with no words. Right. But they knew the words. Like I would tell them, don't bring your friend. Right. Or I'd say, hey, bring that girl. I want to get with her.

And then they'd come or not come, whatever. so we all get taken care of you know and it's just the way it was it's it's it's just the way it was man it's just people helping people yeah if they needed something i needed something we all had fun right it was fun i'm not a lie symbiotic relationship right like everybody's everybody's getting something it's kind of like the 70s bro like a free world it's a free world but you got to have the dope right and you got and the girls need the dope so they're coming yeah okay and i'm not a bad looking guy so it's not like they got to get with some dude because i've seen it we're like oh you know yeah i've seen some tore bag dudes but they got girls they got girls because if you got the bag

you got the girls and i'm going to tell you something too about the girls all the girls they're not tens but they're not threes either right they're all sixes and sevens bro they're they're they use drugs bro they're skinny man right right they didn't got no obese people you know very few that are using so they're all 25 22 28 you know 110 pounds 115 pounds you know and they want to have a good time right I want to have a good time so that's what we did and we did that for two or three years and Jennifer was the one that I got pregnant and interesting story enough you'll love this because your podcast i know it's the truth man i'm not telling you lies bro so jennifer gets pregnant right and about two or three months later she kind of goes her own way you know

she's i'm doing my whatever she goes her own way but she's around but i don't see her she's around and then i seven months later i get the call she's already had the baby because i think this is speculation when i say when i tell you i don't want to lie i'm not lying i'm i'm i'm Given what I think is honest, I don't think she knew who was the dad 100%. Okay. So once I saw Angel, two days after he was born, it's like, that's my boy, you know. And when she had him, she stood with her grandma Kathy. And I really liked, I really, I loved Kathy.

I loved her. She took care of Angel. She adored him. She's passed away now probably about five, six years. She did not, she did not love Angel. She adored him, you know. And she had other grandkids, but there was something about Angel that she just took to. And they, after the, she had the baby, she was in Hollywood and living with her mom.

And then I would go see my son. And then, but I ain't told my mom yet, right? I ain't told my mom shit. That you've got a kid? told her yet you know i gotta go see him first right i gotta see what's up i don't know so i go see him and it's mine and i still ain't told my mom yet and i told i told jennifer i'm gonna take him like three or four days after he's five days after he's born not long and i take him to my mom's right but i'm living like this crazy world dude where i'm not thinking straight either um i should

have told my mom you know hey man i got you got a grandson and i've had a grandson and i've brought him but that's not how I did it so I got them all waddled up and I go to my mom's house and I tell him I'm I got a surprise for you it's a surprise and I'm not saying it's bright I'm just saying that's how I did it man it's just different my mind's not right I'm living a rock star when you're a rock star bro you don't think about other people you're like I'm man you know once you get to the Fed you realize like dude I was a guppy but at the time I'm man right yeah and i should close her eyes and i put my son angel on her stomach she opens her probably not on her stomach but close her stomach and she opens her eyes say this your grandson

and she starts crying bro she's like no you're kidding no no no no and it's true like no i's no no he's mine he's mine and then you know she's shocked i got my other kids with me um and uh yeah she's shocked and she ends up taking care of them a little bit for me you know when in the beginning so after that you know I take them back and now I worked hard all my life bro I worked in a warehouse man 17 years

I grew up without a father I was I was kind of poor as a child not a lot of money and and I wanted we're not going without bro okay I work hard. My dad had 10 brothers. My uncle Leo was like shot caller, mafia boss.

He's the oldest guy. I didn't know him well. He said you got to work, man. Like, don't go get you no job. This is 81, 14. Don't get you no job behind the desk. You need to go work. They all work the fields, bro.

All my dad, they all worked the fields when they were young, busted their ass. And I've always been a worker because I didn't want to be poor. but I made I don't want to use a super track I made bad mistake because I missed out a lot on my kids Johnny Frank and Olivia I missed out on a lot

because I worked a lot you know I started selling drugs and my son was probably my oldest was 13 and then Frank was 12 Olivia's 9 something like that what does their mother think you're doing at this point she knows you don't work at the fact

Oh she knows bro Okay She knows She knows I'm not going to go into Right But I'm going to say this She knows

Okay Her crime My crime Her crimey My crimey Was her middle child Joe She knew

So Joe was Was my driver Her crime My crimey I said my mistake Well we got into a a conspiracy, so he was part of my conspiracy, my stepson. He's my crimey, we did dirt together.

You didn't use that in the fed? No, you're like your codifent. No. Co-defend. Okay. You never heard a crime? No. Now you know.

Okay. So she knew. Right. But there was no, she knew I didn't use drugs. Right. Right? So I was giving her money. She took care of my kids.

I took care of my kids, you know. But back to what I was saying, I just worked a lot because I didn't have a dad in my life. I need to provide for my family. I do that today, which we'll get into. Provide my family. I'm working hard. I'm living in Asperia, and I know you don't know Esperia, but I'll tell you. I'm living in Asperia because I bought my house is the outskirts of Inland Empire, and I'm working 75 miles away.

Right. So I'm driving 150 miles a day to go to work. and I'm working 10, 12 hours a day in this warehouse. At least I did for five years while they were little, little. But I had to provide for my family. And then we moved back down closer to where I worked, but I missed out a lot, and I regret that because I was too focused on work because my thought process then was my wife's going to stay at home.

She worked part-time. She's going to stay at home. She's going to be take care of kids. I'm going to provide. That's what I'm going to do. And I didn't get to spend. as much time with my kids I missed a lot when angel was born

it changed it changed because now I'm going to be a part of his life that I wasn't with my other three I was a part of their life yeah yeah you're going to put more I understand you know because I'm going to keep it 100

when we got a divorce when me and my wife got a divorce my kids wanted to go with their mom. Cool. It is what it is, right? Obviously, it hurt me, right? They came with me,

they were with me like half the time until I started slang and slang, and then me and my ex-wife, we lived within a mile and a half. Because where they moved, I'd kind of move, so I could be around them. But when Angel was born, it's different.

When Angel was born, I was, 19, say 20, say he's 20. 35? Right. He's 30. I'm 34, and my youngest daughter at the time's like 13, so I didn't think I was going to have another one. So, boom, he's here, and I'm taking care of him, and I'm doing my thing, and he comes to my house on the weekends, and I have one of my girls.

So I had Okay I had two girlfriends Right Two what I would consider girlfriends But in the drug game Yeah yeah They weren't girlfriends

But at the time Yeah, they're as close as you're going to get There's as closest we're going to get I don't want to say their names Because I don't want to put it out there Because they're both congressmen now They're identical twins

Okay They're identical twins Like I could tell them apart You couldn't You'd see them you wouldn't know. And they were staying with me. And they were both my girls.

And I had other girls. I had other mini girls. But they were my main girls. And they would help take care of my son on the weekends. Now, when he's at that time, now in my mind, I'm a big dealer, right? but I'm home often because I got runners

I got people delivering you know there's no drugs at my house there's never any drugs in my house there might be when I buy but there's no drugs in my house right there's never drugs in my house that's like what it was there was a lawyer not a federal lawyer

this guy ended up being a jerk anyway he tells me Because they're all corrupt, bro. Even straight shooters are corrupt. Lawyers are corrupt. No. Stop it. But I don't know this, dude.

I don't know this, man. He tells me, and mind you, he's not a federal lawyer. He's a, what do you call it? He's a regular lawyer. The state lawyer. The state lawyer for drug dealers and whatever, right? I always love the state lawyers. This is a common scam with state lawyers.

The state lawyers will come in. you'll get arrested they know your charges are going to go federal they already know it like he got caught with this much or he's got this many co-defendants we already know the feds are involved that we know the state caught them it's a conspiracy we know it's a task force the feds are involved we know he got arrested by the locals but they already know it's going to go federal and they'll come in you'll go to them and you'll say hey uh you represented my buddy jimmy or me you represented me on the last charge and they'll say, listen, I'll represent you. It's $20,000. But if it goes federal, I can't, you'll have to get another lawyer. And you think, oh, it's not going to go federal because

you don't know. You've been arrested twice or your buddies have been arrested. Nobody's gone to Fed prison yet. Right, right. Because you're small time. Right. You think you're small time. You don't realize, well, you've got 30 conspirators and the feds were involved and the DEA was involved in, but you're thinking, you don't realize that means. So they always say, so look, if it's state right like how much you get caught okay you didn't get caught with with tons or anything no i did they only got me with like half a pound you're like okay it's probably not even going to go federal so i'll represent you 20 000 down and but if it goes federal of course i can't do anything like i'll have to you'll have to get a federal defense or me immediately you say okay yeah yeah no but it's

not going to go federal it's fine it's fine they already know there's a 95 percentage going federal so what did they do that's just the cash grab i can keep the 20 oh that 20's gone we'll give me 20 back no no you signed this paper saying you don't get the 20 grand, the 20 back. Or if you're a big enough dealer, if you're a big enough dealer, 20 grand isn't nothing anyway. Right. So you just give him 20 grand because he says he's going to help you.

But they're all leeches anyway, anywhere from the bottom of the user that wants $10 worth up until the high time attorney. Yeah. They're all leeches. You're a money bag for everyone, right? Right. And what does the lawyer think you're getting that money anyway? Where does he think some guy who just got arrested for drugs?

This dude knew what I was doing. He knew what I was doing. They all knows. They know it's drug money or they know it's fraud money. They know it's something. No, he knew it was drug money because he told me because I don't even want to mention his name. He's dead now. Anyhow, he told me if they never caught me with anything, I would never go to jail.

What an idiot. That's just dumb. That's what he told me. Yeah. So now in my mind, I'm like, I'm cool because I don't never have. have anything at my house. And this is what I'm thinking when I finally get busted, which we'll get into later. But this is what I'm thinking when I got busted. They got shit on me, man. Yeah. But the feds, they don't have to have it on you, bro.

There doesn't have to, nobody really, I've seen cases where nobody got caught with anything. But they start rolling over on each other. What are you going to do? I'm going to go to jail and three guys are going to fucking testify against me. And I wasn't caught with anything. They weren't caught with anything. But they're all going to roll over on me. And there's no drugs in evidence anywhere maybe a small amount somewhere and they're charging you with fucking 10 kilos and you're like there's no drugs i wasn't caught they weren't caught because they add the shit up you know they add the shit up how long you've been doing this 10 years yeah we got we got we got 150 pounds you can get up to 88 years and blah blah so yeah

so yeah i ghost dope this is where Not getting, which we'll get into, not getting bail helped me tremendously. Right. But not getting bail when I didn't get bail, I'm thinking I'm screwed. Like, come on, man. Dad, help me out here, dude. But mind you, when I tell you in the story, my dad had 10 brothers. He was number nine, second to the youngest.

And they were all fruit pickers. in central California. Right. Let's go back to, let's go, we're jumping all over. Let's go back to, the two girlfriends

are taking care of Angel. The two girlfriends are taking care of Angel. Okay. Okay. So, months are going by, a little,

a few months, and I'm on my way to pick up Angel one night. And I get this phone call from my aunt, Sharon. she'd rest in peace my mom's half sister and she said um your mom's in the hospital you need to go

like it's a big problem i don't remember exactly what she said but did you immediately think it was cutting or just no because that cutting i said kind of ended about 25ish wasn't like that and to be honest with you at that time i i didn't think it was suicidal at all okay it didn't enter my mind suicide i think she said i think she said uh she might have had a heart attack okay So I remember I'm on my way to go get Angel in Hollywood, and my mom lives in Anaheim, which is 50 miles away. Boom, I beeline it, turn around and go, and my mom has had heart attack. And when I get there at the hospital, she's on a ventilator and I opened the door and I'm like oh shit like you didn't have you

didn't know that was coming no um and it's a fucking problem dude sorry right it's a problem right and the doctor comes in and uh checks her pupils and said something about they're not dilated or something and he's like yeah bro she's not going to make it this is a massive heart attack then this isn't okay

we're thinking at the time that she had the heart attack at home and by the time they got there it was a problem and she passed away that night I had Angel so they went and got

told my ex-wife if she could go get Angel because we're kind of cool right and she's married too and she goes and gets Angel all my kids are there in the room and we're going to pull the plug and my son Angel's there

my aunt's there my mama has a twin sister my Aunt Jackie's there and we pull the plug and my mom pass away and we say our goodbyes and just just to tell people this is what happened to me

I'm not seeing that's the way it is for everyone but when they said my mom didn't have anything in or whatever when we said when I said our goodbyes me and my my godmother my mom's twin sister Jackie

said our goodbye to my mom there was a little tear that I saw come out on my mom's eye and we pulled the plug because that's the way I told my wife I told everyone hey if I'm in a situation like that pull that plug right pull that plug man I'm not I don't want to be

a vegetable I don't want to be just send me up pull the plug if I go to heaven that's where I'm going I don't want to sit there and be a vegetable I hope he comes back and I don't want to I don't want to do that right so that's when things kind of change a little bit because now I don't have my mom to help me you know I guess for the people out there um obviously it's heartbreaking when your parent passes away but it's not as bad if you have have a good relationship like oh man we did this we had a bad we didn't see much me and my mom were cool right me and my mom i was her only son so me and my mom were cool and we had a fantastic relationship a lot of time together um love my mom um and you know it is what happened and we had to deal

with it so after that angel goes back to his grandmas and now we're like it's like we're saying before like i'm i'm slanging drugs still and where's angel's mom is she in the picture at all she's not in the picture okay she's not in the picture today she's not in the picture okay um one of angels half sisters is in the picture a bit uh she's a good girl good young lady she's 20 now i knew her there no she's 22 now probably we just saw her on your Angel's graduation last week. He graduated high school. But yeah, she's not, she's a user. Right.

Hopefully, she's a user today, I think. Hopefully she gets it together. Wish her well, you know. But I have to play the hand that's dealt. Yeah. This is what's dealt. So you don't have anybody to help. Just the twins. I got the twin girls. And I'm doing my thing.

I'm starting to see when I go to jail Angel is 18 months old Right So this happened I'm trying to think This happened when Angel was He was only two and a half months old

Right When my mom passed So this was in June Yeah So we go the year And he's with his grandma too right like grandma has them most of the time right and but i'm giving her money right i'm not i'm taking care of him but let me tell you something about me and angel as he's getting older

i've never experienced this but it was something that was awesome with me and him is when i would leave the room he would cry we had that kind of relationship he's eight months old, no, he's not an infant, you know, then eight, nine months old, 10 months old, 11 months old. I was his everything. I believe that, even though his grandma was a big part of his life, when I, when I would leave the room, he would cry. Right. And, you know, he's still with me, I took care of him. And then, boom, after, in August, he's 18 months old, I go to jail. I get arrested. so how does that how does that come about uh so i have can we stop one i go the bathroom okay so we know you're about to tell how you got arrested right okay sorry you want to go the bathroom

how do i mean they didn't just show up at your door one day like there's a so there was a there was a there was a i there was a whole thing right like your name had to be mentioned they didn't randomly pick your house out uh no no no no i was um i was in a conspiracy with about 14 people right so i got motion detectors around my house at that time we didn't have cameras maybe they did but this was oh four oh four or five yeah they'd count um so but i i had motion detectors right well what i'm saying is how did they even get to your house was this oh they were watching right but i'm saying did somebody else get busted was did it was there was there controlled by or your name just got mentioned well that would be skipping ahead oh okay go ahead to go ahead

to where we're at now. So maybe we'll just go with when I got arrested and I'll tell you. Yeah, that's fine. Is that cool? Yeah, yeah. I just don't want, I just don't forget. No, I'm not going to forget.

Yeah, yeah. I'm not going to forget. It's like one day somebody said, oh, a drug dealer lives there. They said, let's go bust him tomorrow morning. You're going to like this. You're going to like this when I tell you. But it helps when you're not a drug user

when you get arrested tremendously. Right. Because you got your head right. When you're a user and you get busted, you ain't got your head right yet. and you stumble and you make mistakes. I didn't make those mistakes. So they come to the door.

I hear motion, my alarms, beep, beep, beep, they're going off. I'm in bed with one of the twins. But let's rewind with one of the twins. I never had them together. So if people are, and they're wondering, hey, this dude had identical twins together. No, we were together, but separate.

That way. There's no menager twas going on. No, no, no. It's a pain in the ass. to be honest. You know what? It sounds good, but it's honestly, it's just bumpy and awkward. Somebody's left out.

No, it just makes memories. It makes good memories. You know? It's like having sex in the shower. It sounds good. When you tell people, we're going to get, when you tell people, hey, dude, having two or three girls at a time, that was just normal. It wasn't every day, but it was, it wasn't like once every three months.

Every week, okay? So it's just normal But normal guys that never had that Or wasn't in our world They're like, holy shit But believe me, it's a shitty life So let's get back to where we were at though It's a shitty life

You think you're the king But you're just a piece of shit So I hear the motion detectors go off I jump out of bed I hit the back door And we have a swimming pool And then there's a concrete fence About six feet high

To get to the neighbors And you think that they're coming to arrest you I don't know exactly what it is yet. Okay, I just hear motion, and I'm hearing loud banging, like someone's breaking this door down because I've been around that shit. This isn't a burglar. Not at 7 in the morning. It's not a burglar coming knocking down to the door like that.

So I'm like, I jump up. I'm in my underwear, no shirt. I hit the back door around the swimming pool to the fence. I'm looking back. And I see a cop with just his head out with the trigger. And I'm like 20 yards away. He goes, don't move. I'll fuck that.

I'm sorry about that. Right. I goes, oh, no, I'm gone. Yeah. Because in my mind now, I don't got anything at the house, bro. I'm thinking I'm getting raided. Okay? Right.

I don't know. It's a feds. I think I'm just getting raided. So I'm thinking in my mind at the time, they're going to end up leaving, because they ain't going to find nothing, so I'm cool. No reason for you to sit in your underwear and handcuffs? No.

So I go hide under a bush, like four doors down. I'm under a bush, and I'm just there. And I'm there, and I'm seeing cop cars, bro, circling around, but they ain't seeing me. And again, in my mind, I'm like, hey, they're going to leave because there's nothing there. And then about an hour and a half, I'm guessing approximately an hour and a half,

half later one of the feds comes up because if you move I'll blow your effing head off right that's what he says and I don't move and then I get out slowly and then he cuffs me we go around to the house you're still in your underwear I'm still in my underwear and they set me on one of the chairs there's like 10 of them there and the two twins are there and and I don't even really know what they said yet because now I'm trying to get my bearings because I'm trying to figure out what's going on because you ain't found.

I know you haven't found anything. Except maybe a pipe from one of the girls, I don't know. But they didn't find anything. And I'm getting arrested or whatever. And I got this badass hardly sitting in my garage, bro, custom. Badass. And they put me in the... Ford Explorer, I think it was.

Put me in the Explorer and we're in San Bernardino and we're going to Riverside, which is half an hour drive. Now, this is why not using drugs, I think helps you, help me, is the cop wants to chop it up with me in the car. But I know this dude's recording. I know. Right. He says, hey, man, that's a nice Harley.

I don't even say a word. I don't even comment. I don't get a bad an eye. I don't do anything. and he's asking me a few other questions because I guess he tried to start with the Harley but I ain't even talking to this dude I didn't say the word

and he goes oh you're not going to say nothing huh and even when he said oh you're not going to say nothing I didn't say nothing I'm not saying shit so they get me to this federal building and take me up the elevator I'm still I got a t-shirt on now but I'm in my underwear still

right they take me up to some office or whatever and holding cell but it wasn't prison something like that it wasn't even a cell I don't think it was like a room

is it wrong that I want to know are these boxer briefs or are these boxers okay boxers just for the mental picture

so all right so it's not that bad if you want to look at it like that but but these dudes suits you know how they wear

they come in come with me this is where this is where shit starts happening now Shit starts getting real now. Because right now, I'm like, they got nothing, right?

They take me to the room, set me down, and there's a recorder right there. They say, hey, they're kind of cocky too, right? Say, listen to this. Click. And it's my voice,

talking to my connect, talking about blah, blah, blah. And they only play it for like 15, 20 seconds. Is this a phone? call or an in-person phone call okay phone call do you have any idea this has been going on no nothing okay no warning because i'm going to get to this i don't know the guy he just brings me drugs bro right and i pay him i don't know his name i don't know he's a phone number i don't know nothing about him which helped me but i really don't i don't know anything about him i don't know anything

about the conspiracy they stop the tape and Anything you want to tell us? I said, now I'm fucking, sorry. I'm getting cocky. I says, yeah, I think I need a lawyer. I don't say nothing. Yeah, it ends right then. They take me to the holding cell.

And in my holding cell, there's my connect. He's in the holding cell with me. Do you know it's him? I know it's him. Sorry. I don't know his name. I know it's him. And we're kind of talking a little bit.

But see, I'm naive. I've never been arrested, right? I'm naive. What's going on? He could have been wearing a wire. Right. He could have been setting me up because I didn't know the game until I got to, you know, the federal county jail where I'm staying there for 28 months and I'm hearing the people's stories

coming in and out. And I learned the game, but at that time, I don't know. He could have been wearing a wire. Right. Because he's trying to, he's the kingpin. There's like 14 of us. He's the kingpin, dude. Right.

So they were catching him. I just got the wave. I was their bonus. right I'm I'm like and my crime he's on there too my co-defendant right he's on there too

so he's on the tape or he's locked up with you he's locked up so they grabbed you all at the same time no he was grabbed separately he wasn't in there with us they caught him separately

so we go in to the judge and I don't even really know what they say but I'm in my underwear and I'm in a t-shirt and I tell you the truth I don't even know what they said

like conspiracies whatever I don't even they're talking to language I don't understand right because I don't even know what a conspiracy is dude right

was a co-defendant that I don't know anything I'm naive we get back into the holding cell and there's this dude in there we're talking and they bring us subway sandwiches dude

and I'm like this ain't that bad subway it's subway man right and and but the guy in there says hey when you come to court in riverside you get subway it's not cool but the food in the food in the county is not that bad it's not that bad where i'm going it's not that bad so boom they send me up i ain't getting out i'm in the holding cell at the county waiting to get to my pot and these pods aren't like federal they're it's it's an old jail it's a county jail that they put feds in

and most of them half of them end up going to the Fed what do you call it you said earlier I never went there the U.S. Marshal holdover yeah holdover I never went there I stood my whole 28 months at the county so I'm in the holding cell and I'm hearing dudes talking

18 years 12 I'm not telling him my case I'm 18 years 12 years feds this feds that feds this and I'm like what 18 dude i'm in my mind i'm not commenting i don't know these dudes i'm like 18 years it's drugs bro i've only heard people three years four years whatever six years yeah i didn't kill anyone you know many times i've heard that yeah killed you know how many times i said that i got less time for manslaughter not me but other people like i've been out eight years for manslaughter i got 18 with you know a pound and a half or whatever so i'm in there hearing this and

now I'm getting concerned. I'm getting concerned, bro. I'm like 18 years, 12 years, 14 years, blah, blah, blah. I'm getting concerned. I'm in hot water. But in my mind, they didn't caught nothing. They don't have anything. They don't have anything.

I go up in the holding cell. I go up into, you know, the pod. There's like 45 of us. This is where I'm going to live for the next 28 months, right? But I don't know it at the time. I'm in there I'm hearing stories I'm learning game

I'm peeping game mind you I got a lot of money bro I got good money I'm good I got good money made a lot of money guys in there getting store

whatever I'm getting store in the beginning right I'm good in the beginning you smile like oh shit it's coming and it is because it's drugs and you don't get nothing back

you don't get no returns you don't get no refunds people that owe you money that's gone. Yeah. You can't do nothing. That's gone. Even your best friend

that owes you money. You ain't getting that, bro. So I'm in there. It's funny. The same guys that will rip you off for what they owe you.

Don't want you to tell on them. Oh, you're stitching on me. You owe me 40 grand. Fuck you. Cut your fucking throat. There you. I'm three months in.

I'm three months in and I know now. Oh, We're going to get bail, right? You've got a right to bail. Everybody gets the right to bail. I get there. I got three kids.

I've been working a job for 18 years. I go there. The feds don't give you bail, but I don't know this, right? I'm naive. My dad comes down. He's there at the hearing. And my mom has already passed, so my dad comes down and they're like, hey, no, you ain't getting bail.

You're a flight risk. Flight risk? What do you mean flight risk? How am I a flight? risk i'm not arguing but in my mind i'm pissed because how am i a flight risk i got three kids i don't have a passport where am i going never lived anywhere but california never lived anywhere anywhere but california but you ain't getting bail bro unless you got a house or they do everything they can not to give you bail yeah now if you were cooperating of course you would probably get

because i didn't know that it's time right i didn't get they'd be they'd be like of course you're going to get bail buddy no no bail for me and i could have maybe got bail if my dad would have put up his house. But my dad's old school. Yeah. He's Mexican. Remember nine brothers? Yeah.

Ten brother, nine brothers. He's the number nine. Oh, dude. My dad's hard. Yeah. It's hard like that. It's cool. But at the time, I'm pissed.

At the time, I'm like, dude, you're my dad. Where do you think I'm going to go? Like, you know, I'm not going nowhere. But I'm not arguing with him in my mind. I'm thinking this. And no bail for John. So. Oh, God. Okay.

So now I've already been there three months, and I know now a little bit of the game, not a lot, I'm going to be there a while. I'm going to be there a while because this is feds. You ain't going to trial. You ain't getting none of that for two years or 18 months, right? Are you still thinking they don't have anything? Or by now you're starting to realize. At that time, I'm screwed, bro. Yeah.

I know already. I know already. Is this just from the other inmates? or have you talked to an attorney yet? inmates. Inmates. Inmates. Inmates, the discovery, I'm screwed.

Oh, you got the discovery? Yeah, I'm screwed. You saw the, the only thing they found was the pipe from your girlfriend? They didn't find anything. They didn't find anything? When we were talking, like, the only thing you could have found was a pipe.

Right. But they were probably like, I'm here for him. Yeah. But I wasn't there. I left. I ran. Right. So, three months in,

I'm like, what's the, guy in the Bible who has his hair long. Samson. Samson. I'm Samson, dude. I got long hair, right? I'm three months in. I still got long hair. After three months, I don't have long hair no more, dude. I shaved it. Right. Why? I ain't going nowhere, bro. I go to where. I go to where. This home, I'm not going to where. I'm going there for a while. What's happened to your house? I was renting. I was renting. Oh, okay. So. What about your stuff? Oh, you like this. All the stuff's gone, dude.

I knew that six weeks in. The twin girls, they sold it all, kept it all. And, you know, they came to visit me here and there, both of them, right? Not together, but both of them. And two months in, two and a half months in, I got no more money. Yeah. I'm broke. I got no store.

I got no nothing. I'm broke. But I'm smart and I'm crafty and I'm figuring out the game. But it takes a minute because the people that run the game in the county have the game until they leave right so i'm getting there more time and i'm scoping and my turn's coming up to run game but i'm not there yet so i'm broke i tell the twin girls i says you know what because they're like oh we're gonna married one of them i'm i'm gonna marry you blah blah blah hey just go you're a headache you were a headache when i was out and i had money but you had to but but i had to deal with you

your headache, I know I got 10 years coming, in my mind, somewhere in there. I got 10 years coming. I'm better off by myself. Yeah. And I'm seeing guys on the phone. Oh, that's the stress box. I ain't stressing no more, bro. They're called the stress box.

Yeah. I forgot that. I'm not stressing, dude. Yeah. I'm not stressing no more because I know where I'm going. I know what I got to do. I know the game. And I'm learning in the county.

and the first thing I start doing is I'm running at a casino now. Right. I'm the casino guy. So we run, we're using the cut-up cards. We've cut-up cards for chips. You buy in. When you run out, you're out. Winners like tournament, right?

But I get, I get an item. I take an item out of every tournament. And we're running two, three a day, right? So I'm cool. Now I got store coming. I'm running the game. my case I'm learning the game

I'm learning what people do what they don't do how they do it how much time who goes where how goes where and I'm talking to this one dude his name's cane but I'm not going to say his last name's name Kane

and it's like 16 months in but let's rewind real quick because I know you could clip this let's rewind just back up back up a minute Angel In the beginning

I get locked up I'm not seeing him I don't know where he's at I don't know what he's doing I don't know what the grandmother I don't know where they're at I think they're in Hollywood but I don't know right no one's seen Jennifer his mom

no one's seen him no one's helping me remember I got no family which we'll get into later I got no family What about the ex-wife? The ex-wife she's out she's doing her thing she's cool but it just didn't you can only ask so much yeah um and uh as we i'm in their learning game i haven't heard of angel i hear he's sick though i hear he has a disease but i don't know what it is yet at this time i can't confirm nothing right i don't know nothing because you're

in prison you hear a lot of stories or whatever so i'm a year in i finally get his phone number I get a phone number to grandma. And I'm like, I'm going to get to talk to my son, see what's going on. I call grandma, grandma Kathy. Say, hey, where's Angel? It's like 9 o'clock at night. After count, 8.30. Because I probably got it.

I probably called. How did I get the phone number? I got a thing from my ex-wife. So after dinner or whatever I called, she gave it to me. I called grandma. Grandma says, call tomorrow. He's in bed. I'll say, okay.

I said, I called tomorrow the same time. I call them tomorrow. I never hear from her again. For all the years I spent in there, I never heard from her again, never heard about Angel again, never heard anything. In retrospect,

because I didn't know the whole game, in retrospect, I think if I would have told my lawyer, and especially at sentencing, listen, I'm a criminal, I need help, I know you're going to sentence me, and I know I'm going to do some time,

but I need to see my son. I don't know where my son is. I have no contact. I hear he's sick. I think the feds would have found him. I think the... I think your lawyer would have made some phone calls, I think. But I didn't think of that, you know,

because I just didn't think of it, you know? I have time to do. So that's about a year in. I talk to Kane. Kane tells me, you got to tell him what happened. You got a, you got to snitch, I guess, right? Right. but in my case

I didn't know anyone they could ask me a thousand questions I don't know where does he live I don't know where does he get I don't know I don't even know his name right they have all the phone number

this is the phone number I call the guy meets me with some what the fucking that's all I know I know nothing about nothing and everybody's already been picked up and they've all been picked up are they already cooperated all of them already I know nothing

so when I basically when I tell them what happened I'm just telling on myself I'm not I have nothing to give and they know everything probably already anyway right they already know everything

so I just have to do my part so I could get a downward departure right okay but again they already knew it all and they already snitched because he told me oh I already know they did my lawyers I already know they did

because I don't know how they know but they're saying they already signed off or something or whatever but you couldn't prove it but he's like I already know they did so and then my crimey the kingpin he left and he went back to

he went to federal federal holding and the federal holding that they go I heard that that federal holding like that's where they take people that tell not everyone but if you're in the county because it was a shithole

where I was at and you snitch they move you out yeah because you ain't no help like it ain't like you can get some bad news in the county

that you it's it's easier to do in the county than it is to do in the federal holding. Let's say that. So I go do that and now I'm just waiting in 16 months, 18 months. Go by, and mind you, I'm in their 28 months, and I'm like, oh man, sentencing date comes, and then it gets pushed back. And you know, in the feds, if you, if you, they shut down the courts and the transportation in December for like two months two weeks i'm sorry two weeks so i get sentenced like in october and you know 26 months in and i'm like and it usually takes four weeks to get out of there i've i've been there 28 months i know how it works right yeah you see the guys get sentenced and they're gone two three weeks yeah

they're gone i'm in there four weeks and i'm like i'm still here and it's november and then another week goes by another week goes by i call my lawyer and um i says hey dude i'm still here man like it's been seven weeks i should be gone and he says um oh i'm gonna check into it i'm gonna check into it okay but there's a important there's a important part of the story how much time did you get uh i did four years 10 months i think i got what's that 40 i have 56 months something like it's in 12, 13 years. But here's the kicker. Here's where the craftiness

and the brains come in where I got four years off my sentence. Oh, yeah. And I didn't have to say a word to tell snitch, and this is what I did. Not everyone does this.

This is what I did. My lawyer comes. It's like on a Sunday. And he comes to the county. It says, it didn't work out as well a thought but i have your what do they call plea agreement i guess yeah yeah sentencing or whatever and uh they want to give you 12 years oh 12 years but i'm 144 months but i'm thinking 7 8 that

because i've been around right i've been around i've heard i've known the stories i know what happened i know who did what and i was like okay so i'm reading it this is the kicker this is it right here he says oh seven pounds of methamphetamine at 95% pure. And I look at him and I says, like you're him. I says, hey, that wasn't 95% pure. He says, how much was it? And this is where I got saved me four years. He goes, how much was it? I says, I'm not going to tell you. I'm not going to tell you what it is. How do you know it wasn't 95%? Because I know it wasn't 95%. Because I know it wasn't 95%. so it turns out that they never tested it so instead of it being seven pounds in 95 or 98% purity

it was seven pounds of a mixture that was the wordy a mixture of methamphetamine right so now that took me down boom boom boom down the departure and that's where I got so it was what three pound ended up being three pounds of actual it ended up being seven I don't know how nobody knew they didn't test it because that's why I told them I said I'm not going to tell you you got to tell me they got to tell me what it was right but I'm telling you right now it wasn't 95% did they did not I don't think they did because they never came back they just came they just came they just said okay we'll drop that charge down we'll just give him what it was right we'll just the magical 98% purity we'll just yeah he's right like you try to catch me you know like

anyone else have been oh I guess it was yeah I guess it was You know, let's see, can we get two years off? Can we try? No, dude, I'm not going to tell you. Right. You got to tell me. And they never did. That's where I got the time off.

So when you walked in front of the judge, they said what? How much? Seven pounds of a mixture. Okay. But I'm saying what was the time? Oh. So initially. 58 months, something like that.

Well, you're saying 58 months. I did four years, 10 months. But, you know, you got a good time and you got the halfway house that I did. No, no, I'm saying before you got. got a downward departure, was it like 10 years and they knocked off 40% or 50%? It would have been like nine probably. Nine, yeah, yeah, okay.

So they knocked up like 40%, 30, 40%, okay. So your sentencing, your pre-sentence report said 12 years, you got it down to about nine and then they dropped it to just shy of five years. Yeah, okay. So, but again, preface this, when they say, oh, this guy's a snitch or whatever, look man, they already knew everything.

Yeah. They already had it on tape. They didn't just have it with words. They had it all on recordings. Okay? I didn't give them nothing except for what happened to me. Right. Because I had nothing else to give.

Everybody's already cooperated. Yeah, but I'm just saying I had no other information from me help them with anything except me. Right. You know, I finally, and they had me anyway. Guys were probably going to testify against me anyway. So I might as well just tell on myself So you're preaching the choir I'm with you I hear you

You did the right thing Trust me You made the right call That's the game That's why I'm glad I didn't get bail Because I wouldn't have had this knowledge If I didn't if I got bail So it was great that I didn't

Because also the time was hard in the county 28 months Where did I go after they sentenced me? I went to a camp bro listen did you not hear the whole time you were locked up

like I just want to get sentenced and go to prison many times and never made sense to me prison was the whole was much worse

than this they were like but guys are like are you fucking serious prison is a fucking joke compared to this especially I was

in the county bro guys are like I'm gonna hit the compound that night I'm gonna have a fucking ice cream

I'm gonna have you're like what ice cream creamer yeah flavored creamer in your

coffee bro it's crazy like it's amazing from being out here how low your expectations get of life in the county jail. You're like, if I could actually have a TV of my own, like I would hear about guys in California got at their own TV.

That's insane. You have your own TV. Like we, you know, you would have the TV you'd write down like, I want to watch this program on Sunday night. And then you'd have to write down. And other guys be like, nah, fuck that. We're watching such and such. Well, you didn't write it down.

You know, oh my God. They're like, I'm watching such. such wha and you're like okay i guess you're watching such or such thank you i'll make sure i write it down next week sorry my fault my fault so sad yeah i wrote it on the list i don't see your name it's on there oh i see it right here yeah i see it i see it yeah you got it you got it you got it so so check this out finally i get to um they send me to uh victorville okay But that's not where I go. They got a transition.

That's where they fly people out, bus people out, blah, blah, blah. But lucky me, I go there at Christmas time. So now I got a set in Victorville's 10-man holding cell with an hour a day out for two weeks. So kind of lucky, fortunately, whatever. I meet this one, homie. And he says, hey, he says, where are you going? I says, I'm going to Adwater. Hey, tell the guy who gives the clothes out.

I said, what's up? whatever, I forgot his name, what his name was. Say, Steve, whatever. I said, okay, cool, cool. So, boom, I get to county. I'm gonna get to, I go in, there's an at-water high level, and there's an at-water camp.

So I'm with dudes, dudes, okay? And I'm with the few campers, right? Oh, yeah, listen. But I don't tell him I'm a camper. I don't say shit. You're in the fucking bus these guys. These guys look like fucking gladiators. They're cut up.

They got bullet holes. in them they're missing eyes they're like this the whole time with the box on they got a box on they're like this the whole time you can tell the camp guys are just like no no i wasn't like that no no no i wasn't like that no i bro i'm not even pretending to be hard no i'm not hard but i wasn't like i wasn't counting for 28 months i got into fights okay okay i've been in fights my whole life here and there so i'm not like i'm not the tough guy i'm not the guy who says oh come i'm not that guy. I don't know. But I've thrown some of you. Those nails look manicured. So what happened? So I get in the county and they got to give you the clothes as soon as you get there,

separate from the big dorm. Big dorms, like 125, 40 people. I don't know exactly. So I get there and the guy who passed out the clothes, I forgot his name, same Steve. Hey, your home boy, so-and-so said to say, what's up? And he gives me good clothes, right? Because, you know, whatever. And then I walk into the doors into the mind you I've done 28 months with some dudes okay I've done and I got some

I've done some time not serious 28 months in county some time bro I walk into the camp and it's a lot of people and it's kind of quietish compared to where I was at because everyone's got headphones

we didn't have headphones in the county so one of the homies comes up to me and they're showing me the layout here's bathroom but there's no politics in pretty much at all Oh, in the camp. It's a camp.

It's showing me around, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then there's like seven, eight other dudes there, homies. And he tells me, as we're walking, hey, what did you do? I said, I mean, I just got into some bullshit. And so we're walking around. And he says, stop for whatever, introduce, whatever. And he says, hey, man, some of these guys, and I'm going to get a little loud right now, just so you know. He says, some of these guys said, you might be a snitch.

And I'm like, oh, I'm pissed Because I'm like, wait a minute here, dude We're in a camp, bro We're not with no hard criminals here Right So everybody snitched in this place, bro If 98% of the people snitch I'm not telling them this, but I'm like, hey dude, no

Because in my mind, I know you all snitched You're on camp Right You ain't no hard criminal 98% of the people snitch And you're telling me You're the select few because this is a hard camp No, dude

This is a camp This is a camp. You all snitched. There's no hard camp. No, there is no hard camp. There's shitty camps. There's some hard people in there that have come down. Some.

But they're also not politic and they're not wanting to check people's paperwork and come on. None. So I'm like, I'm pissed because first of all, I'm no chomo. Right. Because you can't be in a camp if you're a chomo. Right. So I ain't that. And you're going to be worried if I'm a snitch when we're in a camp.

No. So I say, I'm not sleeping around you guys. I'm sleeping over here. And that's where I stood. Do you know why? Because I'm a prick. That's why. I'm a prick. I know I'm an asshole sometimes. And I don't care. And whatever's on, it's on, I guess. But I'm not going to be. It wasn't really homies in the camp. Right. So I'm not going to be over there. I'll be over here. So I do my time in the camp. Mind you, it's now 29 months. And I'm cool. Because I know it's a, I'm watching a Super Bowl. We got creamered coffee. Right. I'm working in the kitchen because they told me you don't got no money. You got to work. Go, go to the kitchen. Go work in a kitchen.

I'm working in the kitchen. I got easy time, bro. I'm in a camp as far as if you got to do time goes. Right. And no one's really fighting much, not much bigger. No one wants to leave the camp. So I get there. Still no angel.

talking to my kids on the phone and I say it's February January I know I got a year in four or five months I haven't done the full calculations yet but I got a year and four or five months left I've just done 28 months in the county I'm cool here I can deal with this so in my process now

now I'm starting to think what's the game plan for getting out what's life's plan What's the game play? What's going on? You're not getting out to nothing. Yeah. And I'm getting out to nothing.

And I know I'm not getting out to nothing. What are you going to do, John? Like, what we got? What's internally? What am I going to do? Well, like I said, I'm not being arrogant. I'm a good looking guy. I'm going to come out, shredded.

I'm going to come out looking the best I can look. Some guys want to come out bulk, but for some reason I don't put on a lot of muscle, but I can come out shredded with muscle. And I come out after county, I'm shredded. bro and I hit the halfway house so basically in the county it was just pretty much easy time softball regular you know no big stories nothing big happened um I got to see my kids and hug them after three years because in the county you couldn't touch anyone they came and visited me one time my dad brought them so when they came to the visiting room um I got to hug them mind you enough you do get

furloughs in the I don't know if they do it now but back in the camp then you got furloughs No. So they don't get furloughs anymore? Not in camp? Not in Coleman. Not that I was never in Coleman, but I know guys that are in Coleman. They're not doing any further. Well, the only, I know that camps, when they move you from camp to camp,

they give you like a bus ticket. Yes. You know, like, but no, I don't know anybody that's ever, like, gone for like a week or a weekend. What year is this? Oh, wait? By the way, this is also California, right? Okay. You know what I'm saying?

So you got a weekend furlough, I think the first time, because I wasn't there long enough, the first time you got 24 hours, not 20, I'm a liar, you get like 12 hours, 14 hours, and then actually there was some guys, if you had done like five, six years there, eventually you got a weekend, it wasn't often. I don't even remember how often it was, but I remember when my dad came and visited me, it was a day before my birthday, and I planned my furlough because it's in September on my birthday. So I got to furlough out on my birthday And spend it with my kids

And my dad So my dad lives by Atwater So we went to... That's why they sent me to Atwater Because I basically told him Send me wherever you want Because I got no family It don't really matter

The closest camp was taft But I don't really care I don't have a lot of time left So send me wherever you want to send me It didn't matter But they sent me to Atwater Because that's the address I put because that was my dad's.

I have an address. Right. So my dad would visit me here and there. Cool. Came visit me. So I get to spend the birthday with my kids. Get back. I got a new pair of tennies.

I'm happy because you could bring tennies in. They didn't trip, you know. I'm running the kitchen. I got vegetables. I got real eggs. I'm cool. I got things going on. I'm cooking for some dudes or whatever.

So he's saying, he's saying that he worked in the kitchen because in the kitchen you can get extra food you can sell food you can smuggle food out you get to sell it you get that's like that's your hustle yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I would sell food chicken because they make tacos and nachos later when it was chicken day or whatever um fish we had fish so I'd fry the fish hot wings Wednesday hamburger day yeah I don't know what day was what day for that I don't think it was like that with the Yeah, they did, but I don't remember what day it was. We used to get hamburgers on Wednesdays.

It's good stuff. Hamburgers and french fries. Or chicken late quarters. That was cool. But I wanted to say, because I saw you on some of your podcast, you said on one of your podcast, you said, what was I going to do? I had 18 years or whatever many years you had to do. I forgot the number.

What am I going to do? Stay to myself? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to mingle. I got to mingle with some people. people, right? I mean, I got too much time. I still myself. I didn't have a lot of time left. I was like, I'm not dealing with these dudes, you know, and I dealt with very few. I knew I had, you know, so little time. I'm somebody 14 months. It's a long time, but for the feds it wasn't,

I guess. Right. So I kind of just stood to myself, did my time, worked out, I'd work out partners. Cool dudes, good dudes, TV, games. I'm a sports fanatic, a lot of sports. A lot of sports betty going on everywhere not me but a lot of that so now we're getting to the part with the angel part right right and I know people are going to be like

nah that's that's bullshit it couldn't happen that way but it's kind of like a fairy tale story dude like I'm three weeks from the house going to halfway house okay and um still no contact with angel nothing and then um my ex-wife

I'm calling my kids and she gets on the phone and she says Angel's in foster care and I have a phone number for you to call this whole time I'm thinking he's with grandma I don't know any different so I get the phone number I go to my case manager the next morning because you know you have certain phone numbers you can call with the feds you can't just call out to the numbers

yeah yeah it's got to go to it well yeah and even if you call foster care it's going to go to a right like it's going to go to a system You've got to push seven. Well, I can't push seven because you have to answer the call. Right. You know, the phone system doesn't answer the call. Right. I go to my case manager, caseworker, whatever.

We call him from his phone. I'm John. I'm Angel's dad. I'm going to be out in three weeks. I want them. What do I need to do? How do I need to do it? And they really didn't tell me how I need to do it.

They were basically like, call us when you get out. Right. So, boom. I get out. And for those of you have done time, maybe five before you. years isn't a lot for a lot of people maybe it is for a lot of people but it's the greatest day of your life like i was so euphoric when i saw my dad at the bus stop i was like oh freedom i was so happy you know i've done my four years 10 months and i'm happy and instead of taking the bus my dad

drove me to san bradino to the halfway house so i get his phone and i called the case i'm sorry i called CPS or whatever. I'm out. What do I need to do? How do I need to do it? Blah, blah, blah. He's got a core case in like three weeks.

He's in foster care, whatever. How long had you been in foster care? Two years. See, I didn't know that. He was in foster care when I called grandma when she said he was asleep. Oh, why she didn't want to tell you?

Uh-uh. Okay. No. And the bummer thing about it is if had I known, I know my ex-wife would have taken him. She got three of my kids. She'd have taken him.

He'd never had to been in foster care. Right. I got brother and sister that I think, if I would have called them, they might have taken them to better than foster care. What about, so why did grandma say she called foster? Did they just show up? What happened? I don't know.

Okay. I really, I really don't know. I never asked because, like I tell you, I'm laser-focused. Right. That don't matter to me anymore. Right. How he got there, doesn't matter. I get it.

I'm out. What do I need you to get him? Right. That's it. That's what that's the most important thing. That does, whatever else happened, it don't matter. Right. I got to get my son.

What do I need to do to get my son? So I get to the, you know, halfway house. We call him again. He's got a court date like two, three weeks later, whatever have you. And I hit the court. My dad bought me a truck. He got me a truck when I got out. I used truck, but I had, I didn't have any money.

I didn't have anything. So I was busing it. Here's a guy who was bawling. making 15 grand a week comes out and he's taking the bus right no money and that's what i was doing i hear you so my dad buys me the car the truck and i go to the first visit i got two of my kids with me and um we made at a park and he comes up to me dude can't even describe the feeling bro how old was he at this point six seven and a half five five okay um and we hug he he he's not a shy shy but he's scared maybe i guess

or something but he knew i was dad like not because he remembered but he they told him he's smart and we hugged and we played and we got an hour and it was great and um yeah um that's how it worked out the first time, but let me tell you, rewind, just real quick, to the court. When I walk into the court the very first time, they're pissed. I'm stand up. I'm John Rodriguez. I'm Angels, dad. The judge looks at me.

I've been gone for years, right? And his attorney, because the kids have an attorney, right? She goes, like, where are you been? And I'm not saying much. You know, I'm here. What do I need to do? How do I need to do it? Yeah.

Whatever. And that's when they set up the visitations. So we got the visitations. But right when I walked out the door, because I'm telling him, I want to get my son. The, my son's lawyer says, yeah, we'll see. We'll see what you do. Cocky, you know. But I'm laser-focused.

I don't care what you say. Yeah, yeah. It's irrelevant. She didn't have to be nice to me. No. Because I know at that time, I'm getting my son. And you have to think about what she sees. Right.

She didn't see a lot of fucking winners walking through the door. You know, she doesn't see a lot of people that, a lot of people promise big. You know, I'll bet she's seen thousands of people come in there and say, oh, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do that and do that. And next thing, you know, they're back in prison or they're back on drugs or they don't even hear from them for two years. Right, right. She's seen the worst. She's seen a lot.

And like I said, but she says doesn't matter. Yeah. What anyone says doesn't matter because I know where I'm going. I don't know how I'm going to get there because I don't know career path. I don't know exactly what's going on. but I just know I'm going to get them because I'm not going to do anything not to get them. Right.

So I'm working for an air conditioning company as a gopher because I got to get a job, right? Yeah. I mean, you can't walk out and be a CEO or a manager of something. You've got to grind. Yeah. So for the felons out there or whatever that we talked about earlier,

just go get any job and kick ass at it. Be the best. If you got to work at a donut shop, you make those donut circles and you put that circle donut and you frost it right and you make that look like you creased your pants on going on a visit. You know what I'm saying? And you kick ass for six months.

So when you go to the restaurant that you want to be a worker at or a real construction or whatever kind of job, you say, look, I know I'm a felon. I know that I had problems, but I've been working at this donut factory, and I've been there for six months. I never missed a day and I've never been late. Now I want to come work for you. Let me tell you what I could do. Right. You know, and that's what I did as the gopher.

I'm the nobody. but cool and my ex-wife got me the job because I got to get out of the halfway house while I was working mind you

I got no family I got no money I got the truck my dad's family but he's 400 miles away yeah so I got nothing he can't get your job

he's 400 miles away and so I'm there and I see a little riffraff and whatever the halfway house I'm not involved I get my truck I do that

and then my ex-wife gets me And I'm going to the court. I'm going, not, I think there was a couple court dates, but it was more visits, one hour visits once a week, never late. The foster care lady, I only got an hour, and you weren't getting an hour in one minute, you weren't getting an hour and three minutes. Like, wrap it up, dude, 58 minutes, you know?

And again, I'm focused. Whatever you do as mean as you want to be, I don't care. I'm getting my son. So then I'm talking, I actually met grandma for the first time, Grandma Kathy, after I got out. at one of angels doctor visits. So can we pause real quick? We haven't gone

into his disease yet. Right. We got to bring that up. Yeah, yeah, bring it up now. So is now the first doctor visit like the right time? Sure. Yeah, you, yeah. I mean, why not? Okay, so that's what I want to, because we hadn't done it?

Yeah, yeah, you had, you know, I would just say you had noticed just before you left that he had some issues, but you didn't really know where it was. Can I get another coat? Yeah. I got it. Well, okay. It's in the fridge, chest height, the, in the back. All right.

I had to sit up straight. Okay. So the first time I see Grandma for the first time, and mind you, I'm shredded. I wasn't shredded going in. It's a little overwork. weight. Not a lot, a little overweight. But I'm, I'm, right now I weigh, uh, about 192. Then I weighed about 162. Right. Okay. She didn't even recognize me. She, she had no idea who I was. And we were setting 10 feet apart at Angel's IV. Um, he had to get, uh, an IV every four weeks

to help with his immune system. Right. Because he has a disease and the disease is, uh, called, and you'll post it up. We won't put it on here exactly, but antaxia, talicantation. so basically it's an immune deficiency disease and it attacks your blood cells and attacks your nervous system and basically um you know

take your time you're pretty you're fairly normal when you're little right you know I noticed he was a little off at 18 months but he will yeah maybe he was 16 months but I couldn't pinpoint it

you know he fell a little more maybe than others okay but it wasn't noticeable noticeable but I knew it when I saw him but the first doctor visit that I went to for his IV for his immune system

that's where I see the grandma and I find out that it just it debilitates you and as time goes on as time goes on so when i met him he could walk but he couldn't stand straight he could stand up but he would have to he would wobble a little bit but he could um he could play he could run right um he could play kickball he couldn't play baseball but he could kick a ball and walk

so I have my own apartment we're at the doctors that's where I meet her she's like hey are you blah blah blah and I was like yeah I cat because I was like Kathy Kathy she took back like hey it's John she didn't know what are you doing here blah I'm here angel because the foster care He's bringing him to the IV. I'm not bringing him with the IV. She's not bringing him with the IV. The foster care lady's bringing him to his doctor's appointment.

Why was she there? Is she just to see him? To see him. She loved him. She loved him. Things happened. I don't know what, but irrelevant. And she's part of his life.

And she loves him. I'm not going to be mad at her for whatever happened because I think all children need love from grandma, grandpa, whoever. And if it's a bonus, keep it. It's a bonus, man. He needs love. so um now at this point me and angel have our own apartment it's just me and him how long does it take for you to get get him back um he came after about two months we had weekend

visits but only with grandma kathy right grandma kathy had to be there for the weekend right and his sister sister about two years old she's probably nine then or something so he came on the weekends. And then I took him back Sunday or Monday or whatever it was. The caseworker's name was Mr. Penrose, Penrose, right? And he's come to the house and I said, you know, I know you're going to keep coming to the house. I'm going to let, you know, it doesn't bother me because I know eventually you're not going to come to the house anymore. Right. Because the house was spotless and I was a vegetarian and we ate good. Everything was clean, everything was in order. Exceptional, like clean freak, like prison. Prison will do that to you.

clean so when they came wasn't a problem um this was like August I remember it's August mind you I've been out since April now tell you this I had opportunity to get with women while I was out I had people want to introduce me my apartment blah blah blah it's April I haven't had been with women in four and a half years right but I'm laser focused bro I'm not getting with no women I'm not taking no women out I'm not getting involved with nothing till I get my son, I'm getting involved with nothing because my focus is to get my son. So I went out with no one. I called no one.

It's going to church stuff, but not, no individual dating, no group dating, nothing. Because I'm getting my son. I got to get my son. So we get, I get him in August, and now they're not coming, and they're signed off. No, I'm a liar. We went, he lived with me in August. they signed off in December okay

so but and we're living by ourselves this whole time since probably June is just me and him and it's like um I kind of viewed it like the courtship of Betty's father I don't know if you remember the show where it was the guy who played the Hulk was it Bill Bigsbee or something

and he had a little son it was just him and his little son and it was a show about them okay that was me and my son it was just me and him nobody else you know we out to eat um i'm working now as an apartment manager but i'm also getting bonuses by um doing cleanouts of apartments because it's a big it's h and j probably they manage like 30 different apartments i just managed one of them my ex-wife was the director so they gave you 150 bucks every time you got to clean out apartment when they left and they left at a mess and they

did yeah i'd make i'd make 150 bucks if i cleaned it out but the bonus was I got to keep if something for a yard sale, that I could sell out a yard sale to make extra money. So $150, and I might find $100 worth of whatever. So I was doing that. I cleaned up yards for the apartments. It didn't matter because I work. I don't care what kind of work it is.

Whatever it is, just tell me what I got to do and I'll do it. And they loved me because I have a good personality and I can talk so I could rent properties. So I would rent other apartments in another apartment buildings. for them and they'd give me money right so we did that um once december came i went out on my first date because now i had my son and now we're good we're settled in we have a good relationship blah blah blah and um taking them to his doctor's appointments taking them in infusions doing everything that i need to do to to to stay on track and i'm cool i'm not even a problem i go to christ's

party, I meet a girl. She's an RN. I'm like, because mind you, when I'm in prison, I have a lot of time to think. Right. And I'm not getting with the girl that's got two kids living with mom when I get out. Right. Because I don't have nothing. I'm not homeless anymore, but I'll have a lot. I have a good work ethic and I'm smart and I'm crafty, but I'm not getting another anchor. I'm not getting an anchor. I'm not getting a winner. Right. Period. I'm getting a winner. She's an RN. R.N. took her out once. I already knew immediately she wasn't the one because I already, in my mind, I'm not wasting time dating girls

that I know I'm not going to marry, that I know I'm not going to marry. Right. I'm not going to say the first date, I know I'm going to marry them, but on the first date, if I know they're not the one, there ain't no sense in starting a sexual relationship

because we can and then get twisted into that because I'm not having that. I went out on a second date with this other girl that worked for the county. This is like in early January. And she tells me about 10,000, 10 minutes into the date. She goes, yeah, sometimes I get drunk.

I said, oh, yeah, okay, good. I'm playing it up, cool, whatever. And right there immediately, boom, you ain't the one. That's all, that's all you had to tell me. You ain't the one. Was she saying I get drunk like I drink to? Or she's saying like sometimes I drink too much. No, she was like, if I remember, Chris, like,

sometimes I get drunk like that. But drunk or whatever, because I don't drink. I don't drink, I still don't drink, I don't smoke. So I'm going to get with a woman that doesn't drink and doesn't smoke. And when you tell me that you get drunk sometimes, I already know you're not the one. Right. Right.

Well, if you're telling me that in the first 10 minutes, when it hit the movies yet. It's probably, it's probably more than sometimes. So I get a little drunk. You know, it sounds like sometimes you black out drunk. And mind you, like, I'm ready to go with the woman, you know what I mean? Like I've waited, I've done my time, like, prison, I've done my time. Right.

And I've had girls come up to me and I'm like, oh, before I don't initiate. Like, I don't give them that energy, you know, they're giving me the energy. I'm not giving him the energy pro. Right. Because I'm on a mission. So in late January, I'm on MySpace and I'm, you know, trying to find MySpace. MySpace. Not Facebook yet.

Yeah. I'm on MySpace and, you know, I'm trying to meet women or whatever have you. And some lucky reason enough, my wife replied back, you know. And she says, hey, I'm at the movies. you mind if I call you later and she did and it turns out you know she has a house in the hills she's a principal smart witty pretty good personality my wife is a kind of person that she could just make friends with everyone she's not social blah blah blah but everybody loves her everybody likes her she's a very extremely nice straight shooter woman you know um educated and

And all these boxes are check, check, check, check. Hmm. When we go out on a date, okay. I don't know if I'm going to marry you, but it's a good road. Checking all the boxes. Checking all the boxes. So we're dating for a couple months. It's still me and Angel.

And, you know, she's a principal. What of her friends? They're all principals. Her best friends from high school. Does she know you just got out of prison? She knows. she knows third date

I didn't think you should lead out with that right no it's never worked out for me when I've let out right

I never let out with it but um about the third date I let her know hey you know

I got my son and I did prison time I told her a little bit about it and she was cool with it but her friends weren't no

all her friends are they're not yippity people they're like upper middle-class-ish, right? And I'm a prick. I'm the low-life to them.

I don't know what they said. Right. But I know they didn't like me. And I know her mom didn't like me. Okay. What? Just prison, what? That's just icing on the cake.

You know, I'm like, but I don't know all this. And we're dating. She loves me now, right? Like, we're cool. And at two months, three months, I'm like, hey, now this, I don't see any signs that this is going to end. Right. You know, there is no signs that tell me.

we're not going to get married. You know, I'm not proposing yet, but I don't see anything wrong with us getting married. So, and I am kind of a loser in a wave to the outside world, you know? I live in an apartment. I'm an apartment manager.

I've done prison time. I don't have a lot of money. Yeah, it doesn't scream success. No. But I have a good work ethic, and I know my wife probably noticed that. And I'm a good dad because now I had my son, right?

And it's all about my son. I'm staying on the track to get my son, no more visits. It's a fairly normal life. I'm still in the halfway house. No, actually, I'm not in the halfway house. I'm sorry, but I had the six months in the halfway house where I had to check in, even though I had my apartment, drug test, you know, blah, blah, blah. So, but I'm all past that.

No ankle monitor. No ankle monitor. Okay, because that's hard to explain on a date. What's that? It's a bracelet. And you know if I had told my wife it was a bracelet, she'd believe me. that's my wife very trusting that's my wife

I said I bought it at Ross on clearance it blinks she'd say oh really she'd have believed me and she's smart but she's just that way you know she'd believe me

Elena is her name got to put a name on it so but the bummer thing real quick on the halfway house part was you were in the halfway house right and stuff did you have family when you came out to stay with or whatever

sister or something I mean I'm sure I could have stayed with my sister I wouldn't dare ask to stay with my sister we don't have that kind of relationship like I'm not going to ask her for anything I don't know I guess at the time we didn't have a great relationship I don't think but I had a brother like

yeah I had a brother and a sister but I wouldn't have asked them like I like I had been enough of a burden where'd you go when you left and you left on the weekends I know we went on the weekends Oh, you didn't? You understand?

I spent every single day at the halfway house. Seven months and change at the halfway house, just working, spending no money. You know how, I don't know if the house by house you guys had. No, go ahead. So, you know, at the halfway house, they, so they give you breakfast. You can pay extra if you want, like, eggs and things like that. Or you can just get the basic breakfast they give you. Like, you get like a cereal, oatmeal.

That's it. I get cereal at oatmeal. lunch same thing you could if you want a hamburger you can pay extra for a hamburger you can pay or this is what they give you and listen honestly not bad I'll take that like I didn't pay the extra $375 for this or the extra $8 for this because I didn't have any money and even when I did get I actually got lucky and I got a check in for something I had optioned so I did get money but that money I bought a vehicle and paid a year's worth of insurance and the money was gone. So now the money's gone. So I didn't have extra. And even when I was, I was building

up money, of course, you know, I'm putting money away. But to me, it's like, okay, well, if I want to spend an extra eight bucks a day, well, eight bucks a day times the amount of time that, you know what I get it. You started adding it up. Okay, well, that's an extra $400 and some odd dollars. And the truth is, I'm okay with cereal. I wouldn't have had $3.75 to give them anyway, for me. Right. But I mean, even when you started working, like the money goes in my. But I only made minimum wage. and I worked 30 hours a week and they took 25% they took 25% for me

I worked luckily I worked every hour you were available to leave the halfway house I worked but when you did the math it was minimum wage yeah so it was still

it was still a chunk but it was cool to get away I would whatever you could do I will you can pay me nothing yeah and just let me stay

out of the halfway house absolutely so loud so many people always yelling and screaming and having to clean or this and then you can't sleep you can't do anything it just it just sucked how come you didn't get it didn't let you leave if you wanted you for a saturday and come back

Saturday night so every well because they did with us you can but keep in mind it has to be some place that has like a phone it has to be they have to go and they check it out and all these things and and you know like I don't really have anywhere I want to go or go and I can work on Saturday Sunday of course whatever I need to get done on Sunday I'll do that and You know, there was no reason to do that. And that seemed, it didn't, it didn't. There were lots of people that did it.

And then, of course, everybody also wants to get, they also want to get an ankle monitor and go home, right? Like, my wife went home immediately. See, I didn't get an ankle monitor even when I went home. Yeah. When I had my place. Every halfway house is different. Yeah, they didn't have that.

They didn't have pay extra. You didn't pay extra for anything. See, like in Miami and Orlando, like everybody will talk about like the halfway house and supposedly in like um oh god ocala like everybody's like bro it's sweet like you don't understand like the first week they'll give you a weekend pass they give you this they give you that it was extremely hard and i would have much rather stayed in prison and done the seven extra months in prison than having gone there but i knew i needed to go to the halfway house because i needed to make money i need to save money yeah i like the halfway house way better oh no to me because i got to get out

i saw my i had kids i had to see my kids but but it's different too I have nobody to get out too. Like, my mom, my mom came to see me every two weeks anyway. And honestly, I didn't get to, the only way I was able to see my mom was to basically bullshit them. You know, my job would run interference for me. They'd say, oh yeah, he's here, he's here. But they would send me, they'd say, I'd call in and I'd say, hey, I got to go pick up this across town. And then they go, okay, we'll call us when, as soon as you get back.

And then I'd drive and go see my mom for two hours and come back. like just you know what the bullshit you have to do to get around the pricks let me let me tell you something me and my ex-wife lucy on a scale of one to ten on a marriage towards the end right there's a one and a half me and my ex-wife lucy now as divorced parents right to 10 yeah she's good people i i really i kind of i she's good um we get along fantastic we talk once in a while and we're friends and it's evolved it's time but she's good people she helped me a lot and I'm fortunate enough now to help her sometimes because I make good money right but when I was the manager remember she's the district manager yeah so she sent me

on errands yeah but there were no errands right you know what I'm saying yeah and um they came one time to my apartment building because I had like 25 apartments right and they were going to violate me and I got angel right they're going to violate me for a day and send me back to the halfway house for weekend or whatever because I wasn't there when they came and I wasn't and I said no no man I was there I was in the back fixing an apartment you didn't go back there even though I wasn't right and they didn't let me go and let me tell you something about halfway house the the counselor's there not cool with me not cool but i'll tell you something the director i forgot what her name is it may hit me

as we're talking awesome and she's a hard woman she didn't with felons she's making big decisions on 20 30 year people four year people camp people high level prisoners all this when they get there right she knew i was focused she knew it because she had told me she says you know not a lot of men would do what you're doing and i'm like i don't understand really what you're talking about is what i think everyone does my son she didn't help me per se to do anything wrong but she gave me a little leeway not to do wrong things but hey you want to go see your son he gets three hours he gets to go see his son it wasn't a dispute or fill out the form yeah no no wait till he gets signed off by brad then he's got to be there and she'd say oh no no he's going to go see his son on tuesday because i only

get an hour it's not like i get to change shit right right so in the beginning and i thank her for that because she recognized it um so anyway me and my ex-wife we're cool and she helped me there and finagle some things she got me the job there and i had a cool apartment they um uh gig because of her because she put me there it was easy for me to keep my son right she didn't get me she gave me probably a few apartment buildings to clean extra she'd call me first because i needed the money but uh she didn't do anything like finagle like money wise or whatever so yeah so I'm doing that and um me and my wife are together three four months five months her friends don't like me her mom don't like me nobody likes me but my my wife adores me okay

like my wife is a head over heels in love with me like my wife loves me like I've never been loved in my life I never really experience a love like she gives like my wife's she'll be nervous she's nervous right now for me right now because I'm here she's nervous when I play so because she loves me she's like she's like worries like I hope he's okay you know I hope he's not too nervous you know and when I was a pitcher in softball because I played third base but when I pitch she's nervous when I'm pitching about throwing a strike or whatever you know she's got that connection with me she's she loves me and I never really experienced what that kind of love is so her parents, they're not giving me bad vibe energy.

They're not together, by the way. They're not giving me bad vibe energy, but they're not giving me good positive energy either. Right. You know, so when I ask her to marry... Are you telling me they're not thrilled that their daughter is dating a guy that just got out of prison for drugs, a drug conspiracy?

No. That seems crazy. That seems... It wasn't on their list. Shocking to me. Wasn't on their list. That would, like, you didn't check all. the boxes. I'm not the guy who plays golf in a collar, bro, on Sundays, bro. I never have been.

I'm not that guy. They didn't say, wow, exactly what we were hoping for. The ACDC shirt and tucks it into his jeans and thinks that's a cool look. I'm not that guy, bro. I'm not that guy. So, and she's got like three or four best friends, like best friends from high school that she's connected with, right? Like, you know, we're 40. Yeah. We're the same age. She's six months old and younger than me and uh when i ask her to marry me she immediately says yes but that night i don't even know i'm going to ask her to marry me i just went over to her house and we started talking and then i just said hey you want to marry me i didn't get on my knee or nothing we're talking and she says yes and we were married we met in january we were married in september we've been married ever since

She's the only woman that I've ever been with since I've been out of prison. All right. Well, we've been married since then. Married kind of right away. We agreed that just family was going to come. Because my wife's successful, but at that time, we didn't have a lot of money, you know. She's cool. She made good money, but we didn't have a lot of money, you know.

We're getting by. You didn't have $40,000 for a fucking wedding. We had a nice house in the hills. We're getting by. The bills are being paid, but there wasn't money sitting in the account. And at that time, I'm a loser, right? I got no job. I mean, when I ask her to marry me, I have a job as an apartment manager.

The day after we get married, I have no job because I was an apartment manager anymore. I'm with her. Right, right. You have to stay there. You have to live there. I'm living with my wife. I, you know, gave him two week notice. And now I'm a loser, right?

Has she got, and she's got, what, two kids, you said? She's got two kids. They live with her? Not no more. At the time, one was on his way out, which she theft, and the other one was like a junior. in high school. He's a good dude too. Rob's a real good dude.

So it's, um... I trust him. He's gone. He's Fred. They're both good dudes. Rob's real good. Real good with Angel now. Real good.

Like brothers, tight. Um, and, uh, so on our wedding day, um, I tell her I don't want her friends to come. I know happy wife, happy life. But I don't want the bad energy, man.

I'm feeling, Like, it's a happy day for us, right? We got family, not a lot of family. My kids are there. But I don't want her friends that are giving me this negative energy, and I know they don't like me, right? Because I'm poor, right? I'm a loser.

And I say that on my Facebook. When I buy something, because I got money, when I buy my Mayback, and I post on Facebook, the loser does it again because I know it's a stick to them because I can tell you now, I couldn't live on the wages they make. Right.

I couldn't live on it. I couldn't do what they do. They don't make enough money. I make more money than probably all three of them put together now, but I couldn't live on what they live. And that's not a stab at them, but it is kind of a stab at them because I know you thought I was a loser. I don't know if this way is the best way.

I know you thought I was a loser. But now I make more money than all three of you put together. So I couldn't live on your wage. You guys are nice people, you know, in your own way, but you guys have done shenanigans with each other already. that I know about that are pretty dirty that some people might say

he's a loser move now I think now I know why your wife's nervous maybe and she was nervous about what I was going to say with the girls and blah blah blah but so I'm cool with them now

but I'm highly successful now right you know I own a big limousine company party bus company I have employees I take care of my son I take care of three of my sons I buy all my grandkids their clothes, their school clothes

their soccer outfits, their karate outfits they're boxing out, whatever they need. Whatever my grandkids need, Jade and Juju, Lexi, Lexi, not quite as much, we're not as close as Jaden and Juju are, but I take care of her too, but whatever my two grandsons need, they got. As long as

they haven't, whatever so far in their life, whatever they've asked me for, they get. Because everything they've asked me for is reasonable. Right. Soccer clothes, soccer cleats. There's no, none of that. So we get married.

And in the beginning, it's a little bit rough, not too rough, but we're kind of figuring out each other's energy. And her mom comes around and, mind you, her husband, some people might call a loser, but he passed away a few weeks ago, maybe a month ago, because he was an alcoholic. he drank himself to death so I guess John doesn't look too bad right now but like I told you I'm a prick at times

because I say what it is I think some people they say well I just say what's on my mind but there's times to say things and there's times not to say things you know you can say what's on your mind but I'm here I still don't drink

I don't smoke I work out I'm a decent person I have a big business I've raised my son since he was four and a half years old and we're tight we're tight but good he's um the disease he has is debilitating and you know he could walk but at 11 he couldn't walk and he's in a wheelchair and he's been in a wheelchair since then

but for what he is and what he's in and how it is it's good he's good you just graduated high school just graduate high school big moment big moment because some kids that have his disease they don't get to graduate high school. Right. You know? And he's healthy. So he, it's like levels, I guess, because some are very, very healthy,

and some pass away at seven, nine, 12, 14, in and out. I mean, I'm on a Facebook group, AT kids, AT parents. And every time, every time one of the kids from, At Texia Foundation pass away, you feel like it's yours, you know? It's like you feel like it's your kid in a way. Or you feel like your kid's next, you know, or it's coming. I don't know the feeling.

It's a lot of emotions, but the first emotion is it's like your family, you know. So we just live our life. We do well. we have a couple rental properties me and my wife are good um no big issues the prison stuff's behind me um the prison mentality's behind me there's probably like granules in there but overall it's it's a good life um and um fortunate in some ways i don't know when i don't know when you're going to cut this in but I don't know if I'd ever went to prison if I'd have had a dad in my life.

I think dads are important, very important, very vital to be in children's lives. Because sometimes you need a little kick in the ass from your dad, you know? And a little pat on the back from your mom, it's cool, but you also need a little kick in your ass. Right. And I didn't have the kick in my ass. And I felt like I was handicapped in some ways at 20,

21, 24 when I was a supervisor because I didn't have the skills from men. I had skills from women, my mom and my aunt, some from my dad, but at 14, I didn't see him much. I mean, I saw him five days, eight days a month, a year.

Up until then, I saw him two and a half months a year. So, yeah, in the summer. So I didn't have that, and I think it's important. And I wonder how my life would have been. I don't, I don't think I'd have went to prison, because I don't think I'd have went down that road.

I just didn't have a father figure in my life to become something or whatever. Maybe I'm wrong, but it's a very broken peace from my life. And now I take care of my dad. So my dad has Alzheimer's. He was living in Georgia, where I'm going after this tomorrow, tonight. My brother and sister lived there, and they sent him there about four years ago. and he was unable to take care of himself. He's not completely lost right now.

Right. But he can't take care of him. There's no way. So he's been with me for two years. Staying with me. I take care of him. Now he's more than a little lost. But I take care of him too.

So I take care of my dad. I take care of my son. My wife, me, my wife, we team up. But I take care of my dad most. I take care of my son most. You know? So, yeah. Okay.

That's kind of the story. It's good. No, it's good. I saw you on Concrete, I think, is the first time I actually saw you. And I didn't, I don't think at the time I knew you had a podcast, but then I reached out to you six, six, eight months ago. See, because you're crafty too, right? Because you saw, this guy's got a podcast. He's probably doing well, blah, blah, blah. I could do that.

I got personality. I got wit, charm, whatever. Game recognizes game. You know what I mean? It actually took a while before I figured that out. But you knew. Yeah. Just like when I was in prison, it took a while.

but once I knew, I figured it out. And you'll probably be very successful because you'll figure it out more and more. Why? Because you're crafty. Well, it's working out so far. We'll see if it just keeps going. I got to keep grinding. Yeah.

Yeah, I think it's a good show you have. I'm glad that I came. I'm glad we're able to get the story out. If you're in prison and you've got kids, just grind, get out, grind, do what you've got to do. There is a snippet that you may want to cut. in somewhere, when I went to family court a few of the times that I went for Angel, while I was out in the room, broke my heart. When I was out in the waiting room to go to court, one of the

attorneys for another kid comes, sets with a kid, and I'm hearing the conversation. And she tells her, you can't go home today. Your dad tested dirty. So we still got to keep you. And she just starts crying and it broke my heart you know where some kids they get stuck right you know um and i firmly believe that my opinion through my experience is the family courts want the children to go back with their parents they don't not want them they want i feel that oh yeah but the parents have to do the work right to get them back and they have to show that they can do the work so i don't know anyone out there is thinking, you know, I won't get them back. If you're in prison, you're thinking, I don't think, they will.

They want the fathers in their life, especially now more so, I know it's always been that way, but now with more podcasts saying, hey, you need dads in the life, single parent, single parent families, you know, it's more forefront now about fathers being in their life. So just do what's right, live your life right, get rid of the people, and you'll be good. It'll turn out. It may not turn out when you want, how you want, exactly how you want, but eventually it's got to turn out right because you're not going to do anything wrong. And game will recognize game.

When you show good work ethic, all of a sudden, things are going to start lining up. You know, someone's going to hire you. Someone's going to, maybe your sister or brother has a job that they're doing, and they're not going to, when you get out, they're not going to tell them to hire you. But after you've shown a year that you've worked somewhere and it's, hey, they're hiring at my company. Yeah. Well, people get out of prison. They get frustrated.

They get, you know, people like they get, they think they have entitlement issues. They think that they're owed something and, no, no, no. You just got out of prison, bro. You're starting at the bottom, you know, and you've got to be willing to suck it up and put your pride aside and take some shit and work your ass off. And if you do that, then good things will happen. So, yeah, I got cars. I got, when before I go to prison, I got cars, I got money, I got girls, I got every,

everything a man would want, but that's not whatever. In what people believe, some people, my dad, oh man, you're living the dream back then. But he didn't know what I was doing, but he saw I was successful, but I wasn't. Yeah. The dream is to have a wife, to come home to a loving wife. That's the dream. The dream is to have a good marriage and good family and good grandkids and children that want to come around you. That's the dream. The dream isn't 20 girls, three-sums, nice cars, casino nights, blowing money. That's not the dream. Right.

So I think that might be the story. That's it. I think so. It continues. It continues. And my goal is to make sure that my heritage goes on and that my grandkids never have to go without and that they'll always have the opportunity to be successful. Whether they become successful or not is on them.

But they'll have all the resources and the money that they need to become. They will not be handicapped because of money situations. Now, I bought my daughter a house. My grandchildren will never have to move from their house. I bought that house. They pay the mortgage of $2,500 a month, but I furnished it, painted it, two-story swimming pool, $1,200 square foot lot, grass, trees. They'll never have to move because I grind it for them.

They won't have to be handicapped. Like any of us, my children and me, they got what they need. I appreciate you coming by. Thank you. Thanks for coming out here. I really appreciate it. You know, anytime, I'm glad you took me, this has been, what, 16 years-ish, 17 years since I've been out. And I've been wanting to get this story out.

But with my son being young and, you know, now he knows everything about everything. And he didn't even know I was in prison until three weeks ago. Really? He didn't know. He knew I was gone, but he didn't know I was in prison. But time, right? And hopefully a book come. I really like a book to come out of it.

Because there is other stuff in there, as I ponder. Yeah. But I'd really like a book to come out of this. And if there's another podcast, I probably won't travel to like I did here. But I'd like to get the story out to other folks. All right. Well, I appreciate it. I appreciate you come by. Good deal, man. Thank you. See you.

Hey, I appreciate you guys watching. Do me a favor if you like the video, hit the subscribe button, hit the bell, and leave a comment in the comment section. And thank you for, for, thanks for checking us out on Father's Day.