Mayim Bialik's Breakdown - Addiction Made it Easier to Be Human & Surviving a Near Fatal Wrestling Death Match, with David Arquette!

Episode Date: August 20, 2024

David Arquette (SCREAM, NEVER BEEN KISSED, THE GOOD HALF) shares how he has blended his diverse passions into a one-of-a-kind career to form his own community of belonging, from his unexpected past as a graffiti artist and breakdancer, to becoming a certified Bob Ross painter, Professional Wrestler, and Clown Enthusiast!    He reveals what it was like to grow up off the grid in a religious commune as the youngest of the famous Arquette acting dynasty, his parents' challenging pasts, and his complex relationship with his mom (who earned her therapist certification on her deathbed!).   Hear how starring in the original SCREAM movie not only skyrocketed his career but also led to his iconic meeting with Courteney Cox, the effects of their high-profile marriage, why his struggle with substance use worsened after their divorce, and what he ultimately learned about himself and his triggers from their relationship.   In honor of International Clown Week, Mayim and David delve into the quirky world of clowning — covering everything from its history, people's fears of clowns, and "Clown Code of Conduct" to David’s groundbreaking plans for the clown industry (including owning the rights to Bozo the Clown!). They also detail David's wrestling journey - why fans hated him, his near-death “deathmatch” experience, and the science behind pro wrestling’s toll on your nervous system.    AND Did You Know....Mayim and David not only worked together on BLOSSOM, but they were also supposed to work together on a second project before David was rushed to the hospital with a heart attack on filming day?! He opens up about that life-altering heart attack and how it led to his big life changes, his struggles with imposter syndrome and the ego-crushing nature of fame, the origins of his addictions and how they made it easier for him to be a human, and his experience with ketamine therapy (plus his reservations about it as someone who has struggled with addiction).   We also unpack his daily mindfulness practices, his belief that kindness can heal societal divides, and we get a sneak peek into his latest film role where he plays a narcissist and how it reflects his own personal growth.   Don’t miss this compelling and honest conversation with one of the nicest, most eclectic guys in Hollywood - TUNE IN to MBB today!!   BialikBreakdown.com YouTube.com/mayimbialik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I had this really insane thing called a death match, which I really wasn't clear on. I nearly died. The title didn't tip you off. Yeah, I showed up. You learned quickly in wrestling how real it actually is. A lot of the blood that you typically see in wrestling matches is real blood. A death match is something that includes things that you could find around the arena,

like a stop sign or a ladder or a barbed wire or a light tube chain. which are dangerous. I got stabbed in the neck with the light tube. I literally thought I was dying for a minute or two. The funny thing is when I went in that place, they hated me. But by the time I left, they were cheering. When I was recovering in the hospital, I was like, why am I beating the hell out of myself?

Why am I putting my life at risk? Because if you do it, no one else can do it worse. Yeah. It's my and biologics breakdown. She's going to break it down for you. you because you know she knows a thing or two. And now she's going to break down. Hi, I am I. I am Bialik. And welcome to my breakdown.

This is a place where we break things down so you don't have to. I'm flying solo today. Fortunately, Jonathan's under the weather. We have a very exciting guest. Before I talk about who that is, I want to remind everybody if you are not subscribed, please subscribe. Subscribe on the YouTube channel. Or if you're listening, anywhere you listen to podcasts, please subscribe.

Helps us a lot. leave comments, share. This is a really awesome episode. Who would think that in one episode of Miami-B-Lix breakdown, we could tackle how Bob Ross paintings, professional wrestling, and acting relate to childhood trauma and addiction. It's going to happen here today because we're talking to David Arquette.

David Arquette's been a household name in Hollywood for over 30 years. I personally have worked with him twice, once on Blossom and once on a science show that he needed to be rushed to the hospital in the middle of filming. He obviously is known from Scream, from a ton of things like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, ready to rumble, 3,000 miles to Graceland, never been kissed.

He's currently in the good half with Nick Jonas and a really awesome cast. You can see that now in theaters, and he's going to talk all about that. David's also going to talk about how he acquired the rights to Bozo the Clown. What clowning means to him, how it relates to all of the other incredible work that he's done. And we actually recorded this episode during International Clown Week, which was established by Richard Nixon. So we talk all about clowns, the significance, what it means culturally.

David's a really, really lovely person who's super, super open about where he came from, where he's going, what he's been through. And it's just such a pleasure to welcome David Arquette to the Breakdown. Break it down. Thank you. Thank you for having me. We worked together, and I don't remember it. Well, we started to work together, and I had an emergency situation that happened.

I got rushed to the hospital, and I ended up not filming because I got two stents put in my heart. You are right. And that now sounds familiar. Now it's all making sense. We did rehearse or something. It was weird. It was on shoot day that it all happened. It was a production for Sid and Marty Croft.

Yes. Yeah. And. But we worked together on Blossom. Oh, yes. That's what. Okay, sorry. So sorry.

Now David Arquette and I have worked together twice that I didn't remember. Of course, I remember that as well. So we were, okay, let's do this one first. Yes. We, you're absolutely right. I was doing a science show for Sid and Marty Croft. And you, that must have been strange. That's crazy.

The whole thing was strange. And we were so excited to have gotten you to do this awesome part. You are absolutely right. You had to be rushed to the freaking hospital. I completely had forgotten that. Yeah, what happened was the night before I had gone to, because my heart was, just feeling really weird like I was just getting weird like feelings and um and I went to a hospital a different hospital and they did a bunch of like tests but they were like nope nothing's wrong

bye and then we were getting ready to shoot that day and I love physical comedy I love running around and being silly and there was a lot of physical comedy but I found myself questioning like how can I do this without falling down? How can I do this without running so fast? I was like, why am I so concerned about that? And then I just kept feeling like short of breath. Yeah, so sorry. I threw a wrench on the whole shooting of that thing.

I had completely forgotten about that. So what ended up happening? Because you went to do a stress test, right? Yeah, I went to do a stress test and essentially had a heart attack in the in the stress test. They had done like a... Was it working with me that didn't? I got so excited.

It was too much for me. Yeah, they give you an injection. There's a way of doing a stress test with an injection. And I was like, oh, I don't know what's happening right now. And the doctor, bless this hard, got on the phone and started like doing all this doctor talk. Like patient, blah, blah, blah. And not like doing anything. And he called down for the whatever the antidote was, but it was on the fifth floor. It's Miami Alec. We're going to bring Miami Alec to the hospital to hear you. She can fix it. Yeah. But I was like, oh, doesn't have to

come down from the fifth floor. Are you, dudes? And he's like documenting all this stuff. And I'm like, Oh, you're clearly, like, backing up your case if somebody wanted to, my family wanted to sue. It was so scary, but they got the medicine and then I went to a different hospital and had a procedure. Wow. Yeah, I know. So how many years ago was that? Everything's great. How many years ago was that?

That was, like, through, I know. I'm not really good with time or names, like three or four years ago. Right. Well, because I'm thinking, yeah. Four years ago, I think. It might have been a little more. Might have been more like five. Between the two of us, we'll figure it out.

What has it been like since then? Like, here's my fear. If God forbid I ever had a heart attack, I would think that forever I'd be worried about it. I don't mean to worry you, but I'm curious if you worry about it. Yeah. I mean, it gives you a whole different look on life. Like, it can be gone at any moment. You kind of like that's the whole thing.

Yeah, it definitely is a wake of call. You never know. I mean, life is really a gift. So just enjoy it and, you know, go after what you really want to do with your life. And don't sweat the small stuff. Do you worry if you get too excited, something could happen? Like, were you told to be wary about anything or no? Yes, you can exercise.

You should exercise. Can you have vigorous? Sex. That's what you thought I was saying? You were in my head. That's what I was going to ask you next. I'm sorry, but I think so. Yeah, you can.

No, you should. Yeah, you want your blood to be pumping a lot. Got it. So stuff doesn't build up. You want a really good exercise every day and you want to not eat. So I don't eat the greatest. I mean, I try to eat somewhat healthy, but I'll still eat. Delicious things.

Yes. How old you had kids at the time, right? How old were they when this happened? So they must have been really like three, yeah, three, five years ago. Okay. Yeah, three, five, you know. That's nuts. Yeah.

Wow. Three six. Okay, so the second time we worked together, you almost died. Let's go back to the first time we worked together, which I don't remember. So there are photos of us on Blossom together. Yes. And you look great. You were, you know, young and hot.

I was just young. I can't speak to that. But I don't really remember. I remember you were really funny. But I don't remember a lot of those years. I was 14 to 19. And it was just all words in there. Like, I feel like there's no room for memories

because I just listened to scripts, you know, in my head all the time. Totally. Yeah. I know. It is all a blur back then. I don't remember. I mean, I remember.

I mean, I remember little things. You know, I grew up on Moros and Gower right down the street from Paramount Studios. And I used to walk to Paramount at eight years old alone and stand in line for Laverne and Shirley and happy days and Morton Mindy. And go see, I don't know what my parents, like how they would just let me alone or why they would let me in there alone. But they did. I mean, the people did. I'd go in there. I got to shake Fonsie's hand.

It meant so much to me. I was like so thrilled. But I loved the whole world, like the audience, the sitcom kind of, you know, pacing. So that was, I believe, either my first time or one of them, I think it was, yeah, that was like my first sitcom. And it was really exciting for me because it was kind of a bit of a dream come true. And I'm like, oh, wow, now I'm on the other side of, you know, I used to sit in the audience. Yeah, it was really interesting to me. So how old were you?

So I was... I was 17 or 18. Oh, really? I probably... How old are you know? Maybe 19. Wait, how old do you know? I'm 53, I think.

Oh, yeah. I'm 48. So yeah, you're... Whatever that math is. Five years older than me. So, yeah, I was probably 15, probably in the episode that you were on, I had to be 15 or 16.

So, yeah, you were 19 or 20. Yeah. Now, you come from, like, a proper acting family. I guess. So, yeah, I mean, obviously. Our family goes back to vaudeville. Wow. Yeah.

So were you raised knowing like we are theater people? Well, my mother taught an acting class when we lived in Chicago. And my father was always an improvisational actor. There, he worked with Paul Sills and a bunch of something called the committee. really cool improv, like this group of improv people. So we always did improv growing up. We did something called Story Theater, which was a play on Broadway, which is like kids' fairy tales that they brought to life without any props.

And just kind of so we always did these like little exercises. So I always loved that part. And they loved like like freeze or like these different acting kind of fun games at camp or whatever. Then when I got in sort of high school, I was a graffiti artist and break dancer and my sister Rizana, she kind of came out and started

it on her own for our new generation. What's the order? She's the oldest. And then there's my brother Richmond, my sister Patricia, Alexis, who we lost, and me. So you're the baby. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. But so as I was in high school,

My sisters were, you know, getting famous and I could kind of see like what that like did to people. I kind of like was a little bit like, oh, I don't want to do that. But then I had an amazing teacher named Ben Debaldo at Fairfax High School. And he really sort of, you know, I did a play, my first play that he had written. It was a really funny play called The Seventh Son. And he wrote it and it was about a guy, a guy, it's like 50s kind of thing. A guy on a motorcycle breaks down in front of a woman's prison. And then he like, they take him in and then he like ends up like sleeping with all the women in the prison, which is so crazy.

It was a musical. Oh, it was a musical, of course. Yeah, I'm the seventh son. Oh, seven son. And it's pretty interesting. It was funny. It was really campy and cool. But I got to ride a motorcycle through the auditorium.

And I was like, are you kidding me? But I had to sing and I'd never really sung before. So I had to get over a lot of that stuff. But he gave me a lot of confidence. And he also enrolled me in like a competition where it was anonymous. And I like placed and did well in it. and so it gave me confidence to like yeah and growing up in hollywood you know i'd auditioned like maybe for an agent a few times or like you know oh i got cast in a commercial they found me at

florentine gardens and i got cast in a commercial with adrian lyne as the director that was the cool like first little taste of it but that was before you know this happened so in high school Ben DeBaldo then gave me a lot of confidence. I finally got my first audition and I finally got my first job. Wow. Yeah, at 17. What were the other things that you thought of doing? I mean, besides being a break dancer, which is fun and awesome.

Did you have other things you wanted to do? Or was it always like, let's just see what happens. And then once that was sort of chosen for you, you kind of ran with it. Art, I always loved art. So art was like a big thing. Alexis was a really amazing artist. And so yeah, at Fairfx High School, there was a magnet school within an art magnet school. So we had some really incredible art teachers.

And so that was something. And some of the guys that I was in that were in my or are in my, well, I don't know. We still are a crew, but we don't, you know, I don't really do illegal graffiti anymore. But we were called the KGB, the kids gone bad. Yeah, and two of them are like super fine artists, like in museums and the whole thing. Miami-Bi Alex's breakdown is supported by Superpower. We all know the feeling of leaving a doctor's office and kind of feeling like we didn't get anything out of the experience that was useful. Maybe they're like, you're fine. Drink more water. There's no real data. There's no game plan.

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Head to superpower.com. Use the code break at checkout for $20 off your membership. And after you sign up, they'll ask how you heard about them. Make sure to mention my and biolics breakdown to help support the show. When you sort of started acting, did you, did you think like, oh, I want to go to college, I want to pursue it academically, or did you just sort of instantly get, I mean, you got cast, I'm trying to do the math. Like what year was scream, 96, is that right? Yeah, something like that, 95 or 96. Yeah. We shot it. So I was in high

school and after all like, by this amazing drama teacher sort of gave me this confidence, I booked a pilot. And then we shot the pilot while I was, still in school. And then the pilot, and I applied to colleges, and I was taking out all these student loans for it, and I was figuring out where we wanted to go. And I got the news that they had picked the pilot up to series. So then I was like, oh, do I say no to that? Or go to college, but then I'll have all this debt.

where I could go and learn on the job. It's kind of an easy decision at that point. Talk about Scream. That's where you also met Courtney, correct? Am I doing the math, right? Yeah. Yeah, tell me about sort of being part of that franchise and what that meant. It was so incredible.

Working with West Grave and I'd gone to meet and I'd done a film called Johns that was kind of like a Sundance darling. And so I had some like indie kind of buzz going on. And so I went in and met with West Craven and Marianne McDonalina and Kathy Conrad. And we were talking about some of the like the student roles, like the Skeet Aldridge or Matthew Lillard's role or Jamie Kennedy or one of the other roles. And I was like, I really love the role of Dewey because he was written differently. He was kind of more of like a big jock-cunned meathead.

I was like, I can play meathead, you know, just not really the jock style. But, yeah, so Wes was like, oh, that's really interesting. Let me think about it. And thankfully, like, he, you know, I got the role. And that was really just life-changing because I was supposed to die in the first one. And then Wes had me come to the sad. And he's like, listen, David, we're going to have you roll out on this gurney. And you'll be dead in the first take.

And then the second take, we'll do it again. And you'll put your thumbs up. Then it'll be up to the audience. If they like you or not, they want you to live. I was like, thanks, Wes. Thanks so much. It was really sweet. Me and Wes had this incredible kind of relationship where there was something about the humor

and the sort of sweetness of the Tui character that was very much part of Wes's, like, funny sense of humor. He had this really mischievous, funny sense of humor. And yeah, so I don't know. It was just, we had a lot of fun. And I met Courtney on that and ended up having a daughter, Coco. So it really did, like, kind of. change my life.

How long did, after meeting, did you get married? Definitely after Scream 2. Okay, got it. We were upset with each other. My mother was sick and dying. Got it. But by Scream 3, I think we were married. Okay, got it.

So probably like five years or something. Okay, got it. I wonder if you can talk a little bit. You were born in Virginia, right? Yeah. That's an interesting place to be born. Yeah. Well, and especially were you raised out here?

Like, how long did you live in Virginia? Not too long, just a couple years. I was born on a commune in Virginia. My parents sort of escaped the 60s, you know, hippie movement to like really go hippie and move on a commune. But it was more of like this spiritual brotherhood kind of situation. And they, a bunch of families. moved there and then it was started by a guy in Indonesia and then he flew out there and he was like,

what are you doing, isolating yourself in this place? This, you know, philosophy is about discovering what your own personal gift is and bringing it out in the world and making the world a better place. So if you're an actor, you should be where they're doing plays and movies. And if you're an architect, you should be where they're building houses and buildings. So it kind of broke up the whole kind of commune and then we moved to Chicago after that and then moved to Los Angeles when I was five. So do you remember much of your kind of commune time? No, you were too little. Like fireflies and like, you know, barefoot like just kind of wandering like, yeah, the nature. I remember nature and we lived in this little cabin.

No running water, no electricity. Yeah. It was interesting. I kind of just remember. I remember the drive from there to Chicago, the drive from Chicago to Los Angeles. Were all of your siblings born on the commune? No.

I was so, I think I was the only one born on the commune. Got it. He only lived in a few years, but for my older siblings, it was really difficult, especially Rosanna. She was like, I'm out of here. That's when she moved out to Los Angeles and stayed with a family, that we were friends with and she broke into the business on her own.

How many years older? What's the age difference between you and Rosanna? 11 years, I think. Oh, okay, got it. But it was young. I mean, she's like when she was 15 or something. She hitched across America with her friend. So what were your parents like?

Because I'm sort of piecing together all these things. Like they're living on a commune, but they're also like artistic. and then kind of, but also very like steeped in the industry. What was, and making that decision to move to a commune, like, that's a big deal, you know, it's a thing. Yeah, what was sort of your memory of them? I know that your sisters have talked, and I know you've talked a little bit about

your mom in particular who was a very interesting and complicated personality, but yeah, I'm curious. She was. She was really wonderful. I'm incredible. But she had a painful childhood. overcame it though. And, you know, she became a marriage family counselor.

And she did all this, you know, like she did her hours in getting her degree or whatever or her certificate. But it was on her deathbed. She finally got her certificate. And it's like, mom, it's like you graduated life. You know. But yeah, she was, you know, she was like an actress model. in New York when she met my father. She came from Scranton, Pennsylvania.

She was like one of the few Jewish kids in the area. She dealt with a lot of that stuff. And then she moved to New York. I think they met in New York. My father was an actor. He was the son of a comedian actor named Cliff Arquette, who had a character named Charlie Weaver that was on the original. he started in radio and then he made the

he made the sort of leap to television and he became a regular on the Jack Parr show it's actually interesting like he used to do radio at NBC CBS and he did this character named Charlie Weaver who would read letters home to mama and you know this funny thing so it's he got away with a lot of interesting stuff at the time because he'd play this kind of like, not senile old man, but this kind of like really

silly old man. And he would write these, read these letters home from mama and talk about like the town drunks and the town sort of flirtatious people and did it in a way where you could get by the sensors at a time where you couldn't really kind of do that kind of thing. So he was semi-retired after radio died and he's kind of sitting at home and Jack Parr says, I wonder what ever happened to Charlie Weaver? And he was like, what?

I'm right here. He was like, he called off. He was like, oh, you should come down. He sort of came down and, you know, then made the transition onto television and then ended up doing a bunch of Hollywood squares and stuff. Wow. Yeah.

But, you know, he had a, my dad and him had a really, it was complicated because my grandfather got custody of my father. And so my father kind of didn't grow up with his mother as much in his life, which was difficult. Also unusual. Unusual at that time. Really? Yeah. And his dad was working a lot.

So he went to like boarding school. And, you know, it was just a bit tough for him. And your mom comes from. like Eastern European refugees, correct? Yeah. Yeah. My grandfather got, yeah, escaped Poland, my grandmother. Yeah.

So what happens when those two people raise five children? Yeah. It's intense. Our house was really interesting because it was like really comedy and tragedy. It's like, oh, like traumatic and then laughing and like very creative but also very like emotional. and real highs and lows, a lot of, like, we were all very individual personalities. And, you know, there were a lot of Leo's in my family. I gave birth to a Leo.

I know what they're like. Yeah. They're really, they're not incredible. They're very strong personalities. And, you know, and, you know, I don't know why I said that. No, I'm, it's going to be, you're painting a picture. No, no, but. When you look at David Arquette's sort of resume

Who's that? That's you. You know, there's a lot of very eclectic, you know, items. So we'll hit some of the eclectic. You're a certified Bob Ross painter. And you mentioned that, you know, you were always kind of drawn to art. What does it take to become a certified Bob Ross painter?

It's a, you go to New Smyrna Bee. Florida and you take a three-week course. Wow. And you sit in a room with a bunch of other people learning how to be Bob Ross instructors. And you're surrounded by his paintings, which are really beautiful. And you're learning from somebody who's learned directly from Bob. And you're learning a sort of a course that he designed himself. So you go through these different things.

So you paint one painting a day for two weeks and then two paintings a day. day for the final week. Wow. Yeah, it's cool. I watched the documentary, which was... Amazing. I mean, heartbreaking also. But I didn't know all those super interesting things about him.

Like the, you know, kind of his intentional goal was to sort of appeal to women in a way. No, but like in a way that was like giving access to this kind of art and these conversations about art. I found that really fascinating. I did too. Do you still paint? Like, is it a thing that you... I do. Oh.

Yeah, I love painting. I love art. And I do the Bob Ross course is mainly for charity now. But it's cool because you can teach like 20, 30 people or you can do them as just individual. Like somebody wants to do a thing with their friends. But it's fun. It's like, you know, his course is all designed so that anyone can kind of do it if you follow the instruction. So this is, I don't mean to go down a Bob Ross rabbit hole.

But, you know, when I watch the documentary, like I'm a person who sees what I want to paint or draw, and it never comes out even close to it, right? So when I watch that documentary, I mean, it's unbelievable the things that he can do with just, like, very simple, you know, like twists of the wrist, right? Like, I saw him paint rocks from nothing. Yes.

And it was like all of a sudden we were next to like a babbling stream. Yeah. And it was unbelievable. I, you believe that I could do that. Absolutely. Can anyone do that? Pretty much anyone can do it. I mean, I mean, you know, yeah, to a certain extent.

I mean, some people, when you end up doing the courses and teaching people, a lot of people just don't listen. They just do their own thing. They're kind of, yeah. So if you really kind of pay attention, he's designed the brushes in a way that if you do them a certain technique, they'll turn out like they'll look like bushes. You know, all of the things, the knife he designed, all the different stuff that he's designed for his kit are a certain way. And you, yeah, you just have to kind of listen to the instructions. You don't want to rush or overpaint something.

When you add too much, it becomes all gray and the same sort of color. So you want the lights and the darks. And you just want to sort of follow the instruction that's there. I'm just fascinated by this. Yeah, we could do it sometimes. I mean, you know, I'll take that. I might take you up on that. So when you think about Bob Ross, you often think about hair.

And we're going to go straight from that to clowns. Yes. Okay. We need to talk about clown. I'm sorry. Yes. I understand you were once spotted at the Bob Baker Marionette Theater. Yeah, we did.

We've done two Bob Baker days so far. Wow. As Bozo the Clown and Jozo the Clown and Nunu. All this, we have a big clown crew that comes out. Take us back. Take us back. Yeah. All of these things stem from things I love, you know, growing up.

Clowns? Clowns, yeah. A lot of people don't like clowns. A lot of people don't like clowns. I know. They're very scared. Stephen King made people scared of clowns. Yeah, that did not help.

And it's like sort of been this, you know, that's, they've gotten a lot of publicity recently, like in the past few years. So people in this time period may be a little more sort of scared of clowns or, you know, But, you know, chlorophobia, the true fear of clowns is only 4% of population. It's a good stat for you to be able to rattle off. It's a lot of people if you break it down, but not really. And we did a big study. And most people that like scary clowns also like funny clowns.

They like all clowns. So there is like a... Hold on a second. So there's like a population divide. Yeah. There's people who like happy clowns, but they don't like... But I would guess that most people who like scary clowns are also cool with happy clowns. Yes, exactly.

They like it. But you know, scary clowns used to just be for Halloween. So then they just started now. They go. They went mainstream. I know. There's a lot of like weird things that, you know, but scary clouds are true clowns. I mean, true clowns are you're supposed to bring you joy or make you laugh or, you know, have you laugh at them.

they allow you to laugh at them. I'm not trying to be an asshole, but is it written somewhere that that's true? Because in my opinion, like clowns could be whatever fuck they want and sometimes they're terrifying. No, there's a code of conduct in real clowns. Yeah, you can never be drunk as a clown.

You can never smoke. I should let the people at home know. We're recording this during International Clown Week. That's right. And it was established by everybody's favorite clown, Richard Nixon to recognize clowns, contributions, charitable work, and wholesome entertainment.

So I'm being totally serious. There's clown conducts. Yes, there's clown conventions you can go to. There's clown groups. Yeah, no, yeah. You can't smoke. You can't drink. Can you have facial hair?

Well, you know, as a clown, you're supposed, all you're really doing is providing hopefully happy memories. Like that's what you're supposed to, you're supposed to be able to laugh at them or you laugh at me, like, let's all laugh at each other. but is that supposed to be mean-spirited?

You're not supposed to make, you know, the other... But, you know, there's all this, you know, it goes back to community, De Alarte, and all these, like, historic clowns and different versions. So, like, the white-faced clown is supposed to be the boss that kind of knows nothing. You know what I mean?

So he's like, oh, he might be the boss he won, but he'll get it because he's, you know, everything will fall apart because he's trying to order people around too much. Or some kind of, you know, there's always kind of these, little fun rules and sort of connections. But it's actually really a, when you get into it, it's like really kind of, not, not heavy, but very deep and very kind of, not spiritual and like a foofy way, but very like, you know,

it's essentially like the kid in your heart. You know what I mean? That's the kid that you're like, get back in touch with that and just have fun and like, you know, the way, you know, a kid will just be like, let's have a tea party, let's you know, let's climb a tree. Right. I could, that's where your clown list. Where did clowning start?

Do we know historically? Like French people are known for like mimes. And I think of that. I mean, that's all part of it. I mean, totally. I'm super into this. I know. You know, you know, some first nation people had clowns.

Right. That they typically used to kind of like, and I'm not, I've been studying it, but I'm not in any way. I guess I am professional. I'm starting to be a professional. I did study with amazing clown, Misha Usafu, who wrote a book called The Invisible Clown, which is really helpful.

But yeah, so they would sort of use it to kind of like show clown bad behavior. It's supposed to sort of mirror society. It's the, you know, in the monarchy, it was, the only person that could speak truth to power without the fear of getting their head cut off. Got it. So they really had a really important role within the whole structure of it all.

And a lot of the time, they'd use it to be, you know, like the drunk clown, like coming in, not actually drunk, but performing as if drunk. And then people would be like, oh, you know, you don't want to be that guy. Huh. Also, I was thinking Rick Rodeos have clowns, right? to distract the bull.

Is that correct? That's true. That's a whole different stud clown. Yeah. I'm a fan of puddles. Do you know who puddles is? I love puddles. I open for puddles in Tampa and Spookala or whatever I don't know.

What was your opening? Like, what did you do? I did a pickle party. Wow. Pickle party. Where I had these like kind of dancing pickles. And then I would just say pickle. When I say pickle, you say party.

It's a pickle party. Then I'd throw out these pickles. But then I was told afterwards that you kind of can't throw things like, you have to be careful not to hurt anybody. Because clowns can't hurt people. Yeah, no. I mean, not our kinds of plants. Yeah, exactly.

You don't want to. But, you know, I wasn't throwing them in a malicious way. But they were like the bag pickles, too. you know, I would have to just throw in... Just random pickle. I mean, you know what? I don't really have a preference for how you throw pickles if you're throwing pickles. It was fun, though.

It was just ridiculous. And then at the end, I'm just like, okay, that was a pickle party. And I tried to do a little DJ set. But I didn't really have the setup. I just, you know, have a volume control. It's like scratching. But I have a large selection of calliope and circus music. Wow.

To choose from. And I let the audience. audience choose? That's awesome. Which DJ lets you choose, really? This, David Arquette, DJ. Well, Boso the clown, actually. Right, exactly. What, um, this is kind of more recent, right? You acquired the rights to Bozo in 2021, right? Yeah, I guess so. But you had, but you had, but you had, but you had clowning interests before then. I fell in love at Bozo when I moved to Chicago and my family moved to Chicago and I saw it. I saw Bo So the clown on TV and he was

just at Chicago at the time he was at WGN and there's a guy named Bob Bell who was the Bozo and he was just so funny and this sidekick cookie and this whole world. Then I went to Ringling Brothers and I thought they were all connected and I saw

Lou Jacobs there and I was like these clouds are incredible like this world. I can't believe it and and I got this big Lou Jacobs poster that I still have. And then my dad started dressing up as Butter the Clown and would come to my birthday parties. Who's Butter the Clown?

Butter the Clown is one of, who's one of my clown friends when I was younger? And he would come to all my birthday parties. And then he'd leave. And then my dad would show up. And I said, Dad, you just miss Butter. And there's this one picture of our whole family dressed as clowns. The story goes that they were like, if you opened up a bank account at this bank, they would give you, like they would take a professional photograph of you.

So my family all dressed up as clowns. Oh my God. And we went and took this phone. Wait, back that up. What? Yes. We took it. We went into the bank as close.

We took this photo. Yeah. Does that photo exist somewhere? That photo does exist. Is it outrageous? It's pretty fun. I mean... Are you all the same clown?

No, my brother, Richmond, didn't want her dressed as a clown. So I think he just painted his nose red. Okay. I had thrown a tantrum or something. So I remember, like, looking at this pillow and, like, it's all white. And they're like, we got to go. And then you see, I just had this memory, like, after I had seen that picture and been going through all this clown stuff. But then, yeah, so my makeup's all just, I'm just sort of all, I look more like a mom.

mime, really. And then, yeah, my sister, Patricia's, my sister, Arizona had already moved to Los Angeles. She was like, fuck this. I am not dressing as a clown for this bank picture. Yeah. Butter the clown was there, too, which should have confused me. What was Patricia's clown? It was a subtle clown. Yeah, she was a subtle clown. But yeah, yeah, she was a clown too, and Alexis is a clown. What was your mom's clown? Costume. She has this sort of my mom

with her frizzy hair and a hat. So, yeah, she didn't do too much makeup. Got it. I'm just going to be honest. Is there anything else you want to talk about regarding clowns?

Because, like, I mean, I could talk about puddles forever. You know, just like, I want to... Puddles is amazing. So Puddles only sings. Correct. He doesn't speak. Yeah.

Can you explain to people who, and when you go to Puddle's shows, they're called his pity parties. Yeah, go to Puddle's pity party. He's very, He's very sad. He's melancholy.

Okay, explain who Puddles is. Puddles is an incredible singer. He's my favorite clown right now. I mean, I just love him. He's an incredible singer. He loves sort of taking familiar songs and making him his own with this sort of operatic,

like very strong, beautiful voice. And he doesn't speak. He only sings. Although there's something called Clown Alley. Do you know what Clown Alley is? No. Clown Allie is, I don't know.

And this is where I'm not as professional clown. It's sort of back, it's wherever behind the performances. Oh, okay. So it's sort of like the dressing room, I guess, where it would typically be. But in Clown Alley, you pass down secrets, you know, of the trade and the history. And it really goes back. He can speak to it, but he doesn't speak. Right, right.

But maybe he But he but he's friend. good. Right. But yeah, he gave me some tips. Wow. And sort of like some history on it. It was really beautiful. It reminds me of like magician vibes, right? Like when you think about magicians passing down that kind of

lore, like clowns to me have that sort of mystery around them. There is. There is. Yeah. And it's also there is some generational stuff. Like with that and with wrestling, you know, another thing better. So I love all these things. That's why I do. I'm like, I love Bob Ross.

a kid. I loved Bozo as a kid. I love wrestling as a kid. So then I just pursue those kind of things. And you'll find out that everyone's sort of in the clown world or circus world or even in the Bob Ross painting world. Like they're all there because they love these things. That's why, you know, and his funny thing about wrestling is like it's also generational and all these people have like growing up in it. But even like the vendors at the events are there because they love wrestling. Or if you go to horror convention, all the people that are there are there because they love horror. So it's just to me, it's like just, you know, you should just do something you love. And then you'll be surrounded by things you love and people that also love the same things as you.

We can't leave clowns without this bit of Valerie research that she just sent me. The most ancient clowns have been found in the fifth dynasty of Egypt. That's 2400 BC. That's a long time ago that people needed to fucking laugh. I'm telling you. Okay, sorry, now we can leave. No, I also think there's a connection right there if you want to get like metaphysical about, you know, aliens. Yes, pyramids.

Pyramids and clowns. And I think clowns can communicate with the aliens personally. Really? Yeah, I think they know. Do you access to something? Well, they obviously know Bigfoot. I mean, that wouldn't have been where I went first, but I'm... Okay, well, we'll leave that aside for now.

They're descended of Bigfoot. They must be. I mean... I mean, look at the feet. True. Valerie also wants us to know the clown characters trace back to ancient Greece. The first documented professional entertainers were the comic characters. of the Dorian mimes in the 7th century BC, these bald-headed, padded buffoons known as

De Galictas, or those who put on plays, performed in farce and mime, parodying more serious characters and sometimes throwing nuts at the audience, not pickles, David. They portrayed a variety of characters, soldiers, fools, witches, slaves, and Greek gods. Very interesting. But I want to sort of, I want to touch on

what you mentioned about this sort of like belonging community and especially belonging around something that also may not be like in our modern society praised, right? We live in a culture of like make money, get famous, you know, be an influencer. And even before the internet, you know, when you and I were kids, there was a strong emphasis on, you know, making money

and getting ahead and, you know, putting on a soon. and like stocks, you know, like stocks. And like that was a thing that like dudes wanted to do when I was in, you know, junior high and high school. Like the smartest dudes were like, I'm going to go into finance, you know, which I think sounds not like what I would like to do. But I wonder if there's there's something to kind of what you're talking about. I'm thinking you kind of also like you were raised in this sort of like post vaudeville,

you know, kind of clan of comedy, right? And of entertaining. And a lot of people see acting as frivolous. You know, we're playing dress up for a living, right? But I love this notion of like, like pleasure principle, right? If it's enjoyable and if you're a person who can bring that out in people, why wouldn't you want to be surrounded by that? Can you talk a little bit about sort of, you know, notions of what makes you successful

and pursuing what really is kind of a passion of what makes you happy? Yeah, wow. I think the most important thing, and it does go to clown or does go to things you love, about one of the greatest gifts of acting is being able to provide a moment of escape or like emotional connection or somebody that can get lost in a story. And you could also be being able to be part of a story. This is really wonderful. I did this movie called Dead Man's Walk

and was like three months in West Texas and got to work with Harry Dean Stanton and Johnny Lee Miller, me and Johnny Lee Miller were in it and he's English, but he had been doing a Western accent for this whole time, even though he's English,

but we're on top of these horses and there's a herd of buffalo that they had brought in that we're going to ride our horses through and he goes, David, can you believe? we're on top of horseback, about to ride through her to Buffalo. That's like, down, Johnny, I can't.

So, like, that moment, like, there's moments like that in, you know, or, like, high peaks. But that's, like, the biggest, like, amazing thing to be able to do to reach that point. And that was early in my career. But so as a kid, it's like you're playing the most advanced form of, like, make believe. But then when you really, like, reach it, when you find, those moments within these scenes and, you know, connection with the fellow actors and, you know, the script and the director and, you know, everyone working in the scene together, it's beautiful

when you can find those moments of reality and something that's kind of, you know, manufactured. I think there's also, there's something really, there's something really lovely about these interests of yours, you know. I don't know, you're at a place in your career where you can take them on in ways that are really meaningful and are really having a significant impact, which you don't have to do art for that reason, but it's just, I think it's personally kind of cool. It's super difficult, too. I never knew, like, the Bozo element. So it took me 15 years to acquire the rights, that it was always sort of a dream of mine. And then, like, the reality of it and all the work that goes into it and, like, wrestling as well, like, the pain and, like, really what they

go through like the struggle of it and going city to city and you know the lack of sleep and all the kind of things that come along with doing these things it's not that glamorous like the glamorous part happens seldomly and it you know and you do reach those moments but a lot of the time it's you know i'm still like i don't know what my next acting gig is i'm like trying to find it and meet the right people and you know most people won't even admit to stuff like that but I don't care I'm like you know on the hustle but there was a really big actor like at the peak of the business and the peak of his career and we were on vacation and he's like on the phone and and I heard him say like well just have him let me in the room and I can show him the character there and I was like wait a second

are you telling me that you are trying to get in a room for a part and they're won't even see you, like it never ends, you know what I mean, which is pretty interesting. So, I don't know, I've learned in this world that it's, you always have to kind of hustle and do other things as well, at least I do, so I won't like go nuts. So trying to do these other kind of like business or interests or charities or whatever it is that also occupy your time really helps a lot to not like dive into the, oh, I'm horrible, I'll never work again. I'm a terrible actor. I don't know why I did that role. Why did that movie turn out that way? Because you do these things and as a working actor, you never know exactly how they're going to turn out.

So you might read a great script and then you get to the set and they have half the budget and you just kind of like make the best of it. Let's talk about wrestling. Okay. I didn't know this about you. And, you know, in my defense, I was in college, I was in grad school in the years that you started doing this, then I made humans, and I raised them. Yes. But I didn't know that this was like a thing. So it looks like for 21 years of your life, you were a wrestler. Well, no, I was involved in wrestling.

Okay, got it. But you were involved in wrestling for over two decades. Yes. I mean, I fell asleep at the wheel and missed out on all of this. So. Yeah, after blossom, my wrestling career really took off. I'm sorry. I had a nickel.

So you, well, I mean, no is a handful of years after Blossom, right? We finished in, I think, 94, and I went to college. Okay, so how does one start wrestling? Well, I, so I loved wrestling as a kid. My dad did a voice on Hulk Hogan's Rockin' Wrestling. He did Jimmy Superfly Snooker, which is so, like, culturally inappropriate now. but um but so i always loved it i'd go to like the shows as a kid it was like i saw andre the giant at the you know los angeles sports arena and um and then i uh after i did scream you kind of like when you have

a successful movie it makes it easier to get scripts and kind of like okay you get more offers or you can kind of make things happen you can so i read this script called Ready to Rumble. And it was about wrestling. And on like page five or six, it says macho man Randy Savage comes out of the, you know, into the liquor store. I was like, call me agent.

I was like, do they really get macho man Randy Savage on this? They're like, yes. I was like, I'll do it. I can't believe that. So I got to meet macho man, Randy Savage, and, you know, Hulk Hogan and all these, you know, wrestlers sting and, Booker T and all these guys, Ray Mysterio, all these guys,

and do this wrestling movie where I was like this wrestling super fan. And then to promote it, it was attached to a company called WCW. And to promote it, I went on a few of the shows and it got a good reaction. And they said, listen, if you stay to the pay-per-view, we'll make you the champion. I was like, what? That's crazy. I mean, that's like a dream come true. Like every fan's dream as a kid, at least for me. me was like holding off the wow he's the champion he's got the belt like that's so cool I'd

love to be the champion someday and so then when they said there I was like oh and I was like wait no that's a terrible idea like the fans you know everyone will be upset and we shouldn't do that and then I did it anyway I guess but they did hate me for like 20 years so then I went back after 20 years because I was like the butt of the joke like that's a worst decision than making David Arquette the champion. And I went back and then I really wrestled. These are like, the fans for this community are very, very intense, loyal. They've got a lot of opinions, right?

Like about how things go and how they work and, yeah. And generational and like all the work they put in and for someone to get an opportunity like that who hasn't paid their dues is really kind of, I didn't understand the depth of all of it. And actually there's a wrestler named Bookerty. And after the fans got so upset, we were sitting in the dressing room. I said, well, Booker T, how many times have you been champion? And he said, I haven't been the champion. I was like, oh.

And then it hit me like, oh, my gosh. So the next time it went out, I was like, I don't deserve to be champion. Booker T. deserve to be champion. Chris Cairn and all these different guys. But yeah, so after like 20 years, after the heart thing, after I was like, I came out of the heart thing. My wife's like, how are you? You okay?

I was like, I'm fine. But I feel like there's something I have to do about wrestling. It's just like wrestling. Like, why is that the first thing you're talking about coming out of this thing? But it was apparently something that had been part of my mind subconscious. So I was like, I really got to. So I went back and I wrestled for a couple years independently and I went around the country and, you know, had a bunch of crazy matches. I had this really insane thing called a death match, which I really wasn't clear on.

But yeah, I nearly died. Tell us about the death match. Yeah, so tell us about the death match. Well, the death match, when we did this documentary called You Cannot Kill David Arquette, and I went down to, thank you. I went. It was based on this song that these people have written when I did the original scream. They had just written this funny song because I never died in the movies. Right. So then we used it as the title and the title song. They were called Black Math Experiment.

But so then, yeah, so throughout the, I go to Tijuana. I learned to train with luchadors. and then I have my first match with a guy named RJ City and he knees me in the face, it blows up. And then you learn quickly in wrestling how real it actually is. Yeah, I was going to say, like, a lot of people have this notion of like, it's not real. And I understand there's theatrical aspects to the personalities and the characters.

But, yeah, what's actually, like, you can't pretend. You know who's going to win or lose typically. And you know sort of a structure of a match. Got it. there's a real like some really interesting you know it's another form of performance that you know it goes back to the circus they used to like have a wrestling match right outside the big circus tent and the people will come around there and then they sell them tickets to the circus so i think it's all sort of weirdly connected there's still like a carny element to it and the traveling from city to city uh element that goes on and uh this sort of generational thing as well. So it's funny because you're telling a story a lot of the time, unless it's on television, you have a mic to do an interview or something. Most of the time, it's silent or you just scream at the crowd, but it's not like they're hearing your lines or

something. So you have to like, a lot of the time people think it's over the top, but it's this really interesting, like, balance because you have to be over the top, but you have to like, you know, draw emotion out of people or have them feel for you or have to hate you or have them love you without like, you know what I mean? Just through what's going on. And it's always that kind of good against bad. And so it's this really interesting form of performance because I'd see myself like, me and RJ had this funny thing where I would like go to the top rope and I was going to

jump off and he'd say, get down here. Get down here, young man. And I'd come down, he's, don't you do that, get back to the corner. Let me do this. I'm not a professional. And I would like sulk over to the corner. And I think I'd be doing it really slow. And I'd look back and I'd just like walk to the corner. I was like, oh, you actually have to overdo things just for the audience to pick up on it. So it became this really like fine line. And then when you could draw real emotion, It was really beautiful to see. So then I did something called a death match, which I didn't really know. The title didn't tip you off.

Yeah, I should have. It should have. But I was like, there's little things like, you know, a death match is something that includes, like, things that you could find around the arena, like a stop sign or a, you know, ladder or a barbed wire or a light tube. which are dangerous. Yeah. But it's things that you could find around there that you could then use in a match, a chain. Got it.

So, so yeah, I was like, sure, light tubes, dope, but then I don't, it's advanced so much that they come out and there's like six light tubes.

I was like, oh, and you mean like, are they like light bulbs? Yeah, like the fluorescent tubes. Got it. Okay.

Got it. Yeah, not smart. Not like healthy for you. Yeah. But there's this element, like a lot of the blood that you typically see in wrestling matches is real blood. You know, it's not like fake blood. So that's interesting.

Yeah. So you got hit with this, is it like glass? It's like a real light bulb kind of? Yeah. Yeah, it's a light tube. Yeah, I got hit with it and then it sort of got out of control. And, you know, then I. Yeah.

It's kind of like I pulled his legs because I was feeling taking advantage. It's a weird thing because you want to, you have to trust your opponent. You're kind of like you're looking after each other, but you're also beating each other off. Well, I'm like, that's the thing is like your nervous system doesn't know, like your nervous system doesn't really know the difference between fake and real. Meaning if you get hit, if your body is in pain, right? If you're bleeding, like your brain and nervous system are going to act on that. Yeah. And you can try and cognitively be like, no, no, it's for the cameras or no, no, it's okay.

But there's a certain amount of like adrenaline and like all these other chemicals that are going to rush through your body that I would imagine can make it hard to sort of temper that. Absolutely. And there's also all this dynamic going on in the ring. There's an audience and people cheering. Yeah. I don't think this is a very good idea, David. Why did you do this? It was a horrible idea. Why did you speak to me before?

I know. I should have. It was a terrible idea. But the funny thing is when I went in that place, they hated me. They hated me. It was like a room full of 20 years of like, you know, and hatred toward actors in general. David, this is terrible for us actors. We're very tender.

So I went in there and but by the time I left, they were like cheering. and like there was moments it's really interesting the level of like passion they have toward this wrestling there was it was it gets sort of really crazy like we thought i thought i was dying so so there was a situation that happened where i literally thought i was dying for a few uh like a minute or two and then i found out i might my i got stabbed in the neck with the light tube. So I found out that it wasn't pumping. So I knew I wasn't dying.

Wow. Yeah. I mean, the things you need to know about arteries, I guess, is part of it. You said something interesting that I hope you're okay with me, kind of like taking it here. You just described going somewhere where you want to be welcomed, right? You want to be liked. And all these people have preconceived notions about you

or whatever. And they're allowed to be like super verbally aggressive, right? Oh, they'll spit on you. Right. Okay. So, intense. Abusive. I mean, like, you know. Yeah, in wrestling, like, if you get them rolled up enough, they're like, attack you. Right. So, but then you described, you know, winning them over, right? You describe that. And what it reminded me of as an actor is like, that's what you want, right? When you go into an audition room, you want to take someone who doesn't believe you can do something and turn them into something who believes that you can. But then I was thinking about, and this isn't like, you know, this wasn't pre-planned, then I was thinking about what you've talked about with your parents and like what I kind of

have read and what your sisters have talked about and what you've talked about. You know, sometimes being a kid in a complicated family can feel a little bit like this dynamic of like, I want to belong. I want to feel loved, cared for, right? But it can sometimes feel dangerous. dangerous, right? And some of us grow up in abusive situations where then the goal becomes like, let me win you over, right? Does that like is it? Yeah, there's a lot of that. But I think it's like, I mean, that could describe kindergarten a lot of the time. You know what I mean? It's tough out there. Like being a human is not easy all the time. And, you know, I have it easy. You know what I mean? in the, in, you know, some aspects of, but not.

You know what I mean? Like, life's complicated and I'm my worst enemy. And so when I was recovering in the hospital, I was like, why am I beating the hell out of myself? Why am I putting my life at risk? Because if you do it, no one else can do it worse. Yeah. So let's talk about addiction because what I know is also like the place where it is

hardest to be a human. You know, some of us are born with more of a propensity to need to escape that humanness, right? And some of us are born with allergies, right? You know, with like mental obsessions and, you know, kind of a physical allergy or a spiritual, you know, kind of longing. And I wonder if, if you can talk a little bit about kind of when your use started and when it became clear to you that you were kind of using things to make it easier to be a human. Yeah, I mean, growing up at L.A. was pretty wild.

Right. And we started drinking pretty early. I mean, you know, I tasted beer when I was younger, but I remember, like, running around, I don't know how young I was, but very young, not a teenager yet. And then we were at this, you know, I was friends with this family named the Gleysons through this incredible St. Patrick's Day party. And the like parents would leave Irish coffees lying around. So we'd like down them and down them.

And then it was like coffee and whiskey. We just, we all like hopped up on, you know, Irish coffees. And then like, then when we got older at high school, we were like drink 40s and all the kind of stuff. And then like when we turn 18 or 20, we'd like go to these bars and start drinking, and then I guess it kind of, it's a progressive thing. So it got much worse and especially the more you tried to numb the pain of like life and things that came at me. It was really hard.

Me losing my mother. It was really hard going through a divorce. You know, those are sort of the trigger. moments for me. Yeah, so... Can you talk about the difference? You know, this is one of the things that comes up a lot, you know, on our podcast. You know, a lot of people, even at the height of their career, the height of success, that's

often when, like, those voices become really loud, right? And for some people, it's like, you're an imposter or you don't deserve it or whatever it is. Yeah, yeah. But I wonder, you know, a lot of people drink, right? And like, I went to school with a lot of people and you would see people doing drugs and like people really into, you know, I'm depending on your age, like people really into acid and, you know, cocaine wasn't really a thing. I was kind of later than that and it became popular again. If you missed it the first time, you can go again. But I wonder, do you, because some people like drink like that and then they stop, right? And I listen to a lot of A.A. speakers. And, you know, a lot of what they say is that like everybody would be drinking a certain way, but then they'd kind of. a point where people were like, that's enough, right? Or like, I have a test tomorrow, right?

And then there's some people for whom there is no stopping, right? I wonder, do you know what it is? Like, and I know you've been to rehab, like you've done all the thinking about it. I'm curious if you can share what was it about you? Like, do you know why, do you know what hole you were trying to fill? Oh, man, I'm not really exactly sure. I mean, I mean, it's still, like, life is kind of hard. My brain, like you're, you know, describing is very, you know, I'm wearing worse than it. It's constantly attacking me.

And, you know, so it's, you know, you find healthy ways to, to address that kind of stuff. Or like, I like being really kind of working hard and like exercise, being creative, laughing. certain things to music or art. But yeah, I mean, what I was trying to, you know, I don't know. I mean, just sadness, pain, you know what I mean? Or, you know, a lot of the time also to have fun, like I call it ego juice

because it really pumps up your ego and just like, ah, but it's like a lot of false fake, you know, stuff comes from that too. So, yeah. One of my theories about me, you know, I'm a lot more fun when I'm not sober. Like, that's just the truth, you know? And that's why it's so dangerous, right? Meaning getting into that because, yeah, everything's easier. I'm not so in my head, right?

I don't have all those fears or they get quieter, you know? And I think that's the thing that feels so hard, you know, when people say that, like, drinking is not the problem being sober is, right? Like, that's the solution, right? Like, and you can fill it with anything. You can fill it with sex or porn or work. Food, not food. You know, alcohol is just one choice.

But, you know, that notion of, like, I'm not okay like this, but I'm much more likable, right? And I always say that. Like, I feel badly. Feel bad for my kids. But I see why people, you know, like why people,

if you are prone to that, why you would drink all day? Because it's more pleasant to be around. What are you like in relationships? And I'm sure your first marriage is, I'm sure, different. But, you know, can you talk a little bit about sort of emotionally what that arc was for you? Relationships are complicated. I mean, it's just, you know, you have to, like, you have to work on them. You have to like understand each other.

You have to respect each other and respect each other's boundaries. And you know, understand each other's needs and, you know, be, you know, sensitive and caring and also, you know, have your boundaries of like, you know, when you need, you know, not to be, you know, pushed or, you know, like, I don't know, understanding what each other needs or, you know, being there for each other. It's a lot of talking. It's a lot of stuff. I mean, it's not, you know, it's, I don't know. There's something, I mean, I don't know why if I was like the youngest and, you know, a latchkey kid kind of thing because I kind of spent, you know, hours playing with Legos or just, you know, walking to school alone at six or something.

You know what I mean? Like the way we used to live was just kind of different. And like, I don't know. So I'm comfortable. So sort of being alone a lot of the time or, you know, but I love, you know, family and I love, you know, being a father and being a husband and, you know, all of that stuff. But it does all take work and I get triggered, you know, super triggered. But you like learn different things about that, you know, I, you know, if I raise my voice, I'll apologize. to my kids.

I try not to, you know, but then sometimes it's, you see like, you know, we've been asking you for two hours to be quiet. So, you know, you're not going to,

until I, like, do I have to yell for you to stop? Like these moments where it's not always pretty and it's not, you know. I mean, that's how I used to speak to my husband. I guess it's no wonder we're divorced.

It happens, you know. None of it's like, it's like, I don't know, there's something about, that's just messy at times and figure out like how to make it not as messy or like you know how to find fun you know how to be like tap into that person that you feel like when you were drunk you know what i mean without any of it but those it's also like those seldom times where you find it where it's just like

but that's where like doing things that you love you can you'll have a better chance of finding a in those moments. Although getting there is really a lot of work. I wonder if you can talk. I know you're not married to Courtney Cox anymore. But what's it like when you were two working actors like that? And I know that your current wife is also

a public and has a presence as well. But yeah, but I wonder, can you talk about sort of what it's like sort of having double fame in a relationship. Yeah, I mean, it's weird. You know, so it started when I was like with my, I knew my grandfather. I saw him on TV.

You know what I mean? I know my dad and my grandfather had this weird like, you know, my father was an actor, you know, and like he was living under his father's shadow. So there's this weird deal there. Then you break out, you do your career, you give up a lot in a relationship, just in just in general.

general with, you know, your individuality. And you get a lot too, obviously. But, you know, and then being married to her at a time where there was this huge... It was an astronomical. Yeah. It was a very, like, wild time. And so you see this whole world and then, you know, and then just divorce in general for anybody sort of could be very painful and having a child and, you know, wanting to, you

know, maintain a healthy relationship, you know, as co-parents. But then meeting another incredible person and just fall in love again, having two kids. And now, you know, balancing it all my daughters down school. And, you know, she's 20 and my kids, we have like a farm. So I don't know, it's a lot of work. Like now we're, you know, now it's about cleaning up after animals. you know, all the stuff that goes into that. So it's, I don't know.

But, you know, she loves animals. I love animals too, but she really loves animals and gardens. And, you know, so I don't know. It's just the other thing, you know, find things you love and then pour your heart into them. I wonder if you can talk a little bit about, you've talked about undergoing ketamine psychotherapy. Yeah. And we've talked a lot about. we've talked a lot about psilocybin, the use of psilocybin. We've talked about ayahuasca here,

and we've had Rick Doblin on to talk about, you know, a lot of the legislation trying to open up, you know, the notion of these things as therapeutic medicines. But we haven't, I don't think we've had anybody on specifically to talk about it. And, you know, this is just to clarify a lot of people when they think of like ketamine. They're like, oh, you like get hooked up to an IV and you go night night. I have done that kind of treatment. But you can also, right. They give you. a high dose and it will put you right out. Right. Right.

They also do this stuff that you can stay up and have a therapy session. Right. I've had that. So it's a dissociative. Dissociative. Yeah. Yeah. And it sort of resets your neural transmitters, I guess.

It's interesting. I mean, it's a lot of these things. I mean, people don't talk about pot. Like for some people, if they have schizophrenia in their background, can like just getting high can actually Right, you can hallucinate and yeah. No, it can actually cause psychosis.

Like there's different level. Like you have to be careful with everything. Yeah, I used to be like, ah, I don't know, it sounds like a death wish or something. But with ketamine, I don't know. It's really interesting and you can really kind of get into like, you know, understanding some stuff about yourself. but it also can create a level of like you have to be careful because it could have a delusional

aspect too and make you kind of a little if you go down those roads it could make you a little loony I don't know you just have to be sort of careful with everything like you know for a guy like me like at one point they had given me like these lozenges for it you know what I mean you're supposed to take one every like hey hours or something, one little corner of it. But for me, that you said that corner. What'd you do?

Maybe not wait that long for that other corner. Well, it's just, there's only two corners. Oh, let's just take this whole thing. Got it. That's a different experience. And then like, yeah, you have to go somewhere. And then you're like in public this way once, you know, that happened. But, you know, so you have to be careful.

And I was like, okay, I know for myself, I can't, you know, be in charge of my own medication delivery system. Well, I think then that's something interesting that comes up because a lot of people who are addicts, right, are dealing with stuff. And if you remove all of the stuff that you use to numb what's going on, you're then just kind of left with your issues, right? So then there's all these other modalities that are coming out that are in many ways can be more effective than, let's say. say SSRIs or just standard psychotherapy, right? But you're taking a system that has some sort of trauma, right, that you added addiction to. So then you add this medicine that kind of has a like,

chase the dragon quality to it because it makes you feel better. It makes you have revelations, right? It's kind of a hard thing. Like some people don't know, like, what do you use when you're trying to treat someone who has a history of addiction? Can you treat them with something that can be abused like that? Yeah, I think if you do it, like the most effective way I'd done it is to do it on like a, they haven't like a schedule. So you come in, you know, and do it for like an hour in an office, very like, you know, take your phone away.

Right. So you can't look up, fun things to watch Wednesday. Or go live. Or go live. Got it. Okay. Did you do that also? It was a disaster.

You did that one? Oh, gosh. That's the delusional part. Like, it's like, oh. This seems like a good idea. The whole world needs to know. No, nobody needs to know anything about certain things. Yeah.

So, yeah. So just like, and then there's like a few times you're supposed to do it. And then you reset it. And then you're not supposed to do it. And then, you know, there's like a little kind of, you know, like you have to get equal. again, just like with time and sleep and like figuring out. And then you feel a little better for a while. But I go through these highs and lows and like, you know,

so it's hard for me to like, I don't know. I don't know. It's not easy like life. You know what I mean? I get down quite a bit. And, you know, even with like doing fun performances or something or doing, you can come to like super crash after them and be like oh and you know and just the nature of an actor or not knowing what you're doing that and you know being judged and like you know criticized

and I don't know there's the wah wow wow but you know there is a you know it does have a toll on your self-esteem and for someone who's like ego wants to just like like light off on fire, you know, it is a constant ego crusher in a weird way. And then you're like, then it's also an ego booster and you do something and everybody's like, oh, it was so great. You're so great. And like, oh, you know, so this is this weird highs and lows and balance in life. Before I let you go, what, what helps you stay, I don't know, some sort of even. Like, do you like meditating?

Do you like therapy? Like, what do you like? I wish I could meditate more. I try to. It does help when I do it. When I, like, I'm really in good shape. I can meditate. I can, like, do yoga.

But working out, like, doing something physical for at least a half hour. Like, even like an hour, like a hike in nature. That really helps me just breathing there. Like getting in touch with just breathing and, like, being conscious of that. doing something creative always helps hanging out with friends and people you enjoy and like, you know,

like being able to like just take note of the little silly, finer things in life, like ice cream becomes really a beautiful moment. You know what I mean? If you make it like a thing and it's not just like a tub, you know what I mean?

And you're just, you know, when you make it like a experience or like a nice meal or like, Like, you know. Mindfulness, right? I mean, you're talking about being mindful. Totally.

But, yeah, a hike. I mean, hikes are probably the best, I think. And sleep. Sleep is really important. And I only, like, get six hours a night. I should probably stop saying that. You still have small children. It's like, yeah, I don't know.

I don't know. The State of the World's also been kind of on my mind quite a bit. A little bit. I just want kindness to sort of, like, come back. Like, let's make kindness cool again. Like, you know, it's hard. You know, that's also something hard to do. But you could see when like divisive characters, you know, have microphones and they start really sort of promoting.

So there's, you can tell me you know about this stuff. I heard there's a physics theory that if 10% of a school of fish were, the other 90 were follow. Right. And if a 10% of a, you know, a flock of birds turns, like the other 90 will eventually follow. And I apply that to like our society and life and like, you know, what we're putting out there. So I always try to think of that in terms of like what's going on now. Like I think we're taking a swerve toward the sort of, you know, dark side.

But I think we can easily swerve back. I also think there's more sort of kind of. people out there and good like like people i think one thing that like at least if you're a parent or you know at least if you were uh somebody's son or daughter or you know even like in nine binary if you don't like you know if that's your thing too like i don't care like i want people to be happy i don't understand like you know judgment of like you know when somebody He loves. You know, I want love to win. Yeah.

Tell us about the good half. Yeah. It is available. It's out now, correct? Yeah, it's out now. Really, really cool project. Tell us a little bit about it. Incredible movie by Robert Schwartzman, who's an incredible director, also an actor and

musician. And he's really got this really great eye and taste for comedy and relationships. it's based on a true story. Nick Jonas is a star about a kid who's going back to Cleveland because his mother passed away. And he's having to deal with the reality of that. And I'm his stepfather. I play a character named Rick,

who's not, he doesn't really take their feelings in the consideration. And it's kind of this oddball character. And yeah, it's got Brittany Stowe and Matt Walsh, Alexander's ship and Elizabeth's shoe it's just a fun beautiful cast really enjoyed doing it

it was a quick movie to shoot but it's got a really beautiful sort of take on it you know at one point I say to him like everyone grieves in their own way because he gets upset at me and it's funny like I get really upset in back I play a narcissist

in it, which is really funny. I just find narcissists so interesting. I mean, in the worst and best ways. But yeah, so I was always like, I could, I don't know. There's a certain level of narcissism you have to have as an actor, I feel, or a wrestler and all these worlds that I'm in, to have the confidence to do certain things, to believe in yourself, to like, you know,

but it's a fine line between that and, you know. Being a total asshole. And just not caring about really any really thing else except for how it affects, like, how you're looked at because of it. But I don't know. Yeah. It's a funny. I asked my therapist one time. I was like, do you have any narcissistic clients?

And he's like, no. You want to know why? And I say, yeah, why? He's like, they don't need me. I was like, oh. That's so interesting. So if you're in therapy, you're not a narcissist. That's the take-home message from David Arquette.

Thank you so much for coming to talk. The good half is out now. And this is the closest I've ever been to Nicholas Cage because you were formerly an in-law. And I'm a huge Nicholas Cage fan. So this is the closest I've come in my... Have you ever met him? No.

Oh, my gosh. In my quest, in my quest to be six degrees... Oh, he's such an interesting cool guy. This is the closest I've gotten. But really, a pleasure to see you again after working together twice and me forgetting the second one at all. But thank you so much. Thank you.

Yeah, from our breakdown to the one we hope we never have. We'll see you next time. It's my and Bialyx breakdown. She's going to break it down for you. She's got a neuroscience PhD or two. One fiction. And now she's going to break down. It's a breakdown.

She's going to break it down.