Mayim Bialik's Breakdown - Bevisode with Mayim’s Mom! Millennials, Mindfulness, & Memories

Episode Date: May 6, 2021

Back again this week with what is quickly becoming a fan favorite, the Bevisode! In this third installment we go a little meta with Bev breaking down her own episode... breaking down other guests’ episodes. Bev goes on to share her admiration for us getting a ‘down to earth’ millennial like Sofia Franklyn on the show along with her lack of enthusiasm for the mindful, philosophical conversation we had with Sam Harris. Later Bev reflects on the sadness she felt during Jaleel White’s openness about the realities of being a child star and the similarities she saw in Mayim. And finally, we breakdown her thoughts on male nail polish in AJ McLean’s episode, plus the correlations around the idea of ‘chaos’ that she experienced in her life. BialikBreakdown.com YouTube.com/mayimbialik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you feel about nail polish for men? I love it. Great. Moving on. Did you review your own episode? Oh, yeah. I was hard. I was hard of myself.

It's my ambialics breakdown. She's going to break it down for you. Because you know she knows a thing or two. So now she's going to break down. I'm Jonathan Cohen. And welcome to the series that we're calling the Bevisodes, where Mime's mom joins us to discuss Miami-Mialy's breakdown, all the things we're doing right and all the things we're doing wrong.

And also share some stories from her childhood. We had an exciting episode last time. Bev, welcome. Thank you. How did I do in the ratings? We don't have those numbers handy, but we got a lot of very positive comments and feedback. The internet likes you.

That's the takeaway. I noticed some of the people after you do a podcast, they come back and do a little live interview. I was not asked back in that platform. So I think what she's saying is that she did not get an opportunity to do an Insta live. Jonathan, are you going to introduce your co-pilot today? Oh, that's true. I need to introduce my co-pilot. It's everyone's favorite daughter, Ma'am Bialik.

Hello, Ma'am. Hello, Jonathan. Thank you for joining us. I know that this is sometimes uncomfortable for you. as indicated by uncontrollable laughter, cringing, and generally sometimes walking away from your mic entirely and leaving the room. If you're only listening to the audio version, please consider checking out Mime's YouTube page,

clicking the bell notifications, and you can see us all live. Well, not live, pre-recorded, but you get the idea. We're recording this just after the first episode release. How is it for you, on what type of feedback were you getting from friends and family that you had your mom on? I had a lot of people reach out from my past, and I guess from my mom's past as well. People thought it was very brave.

It's very scary. Many people said they could never imagine doing that with their mom. And a lot of people said it was their favorite episode. I heard a lot of that. heard actually from some very interesting people from my past who said that her insight about relationships, you know, and specifically her and my relationship really led to some really deep introspection on their part about relationships in their life with their parents. And I thought, well, that's nice.

All my cringing and worrying at least helped one person. I had a good friend, shout out to Sam, who said that it really impacted her. and that it really made her think about her relationship, not only with her mother, but also with her daughter. And so I think a lot of people, you know, the mother-daughter relationship, very universal and what you two shared in that episode,

touched a lot of people. Thank you, Jonathan. It was interesting because one, my aunt said, don't read comments, but of course I had to read the comments for a couple of days. It's interesting how many people don't get it, but I didn't answer anybody. You know, like she didn't say this and why wasn't, you know, it's like they don't know the whole story and they don't know how it was edited.

But, Miami, it's true because somebody wrote and said they were your fourth grade teacher and somebody I taught in preschool. Like so a lot of people from the past went, oh my God, it was great seeing you today. It was like, that was nice. A couple of people asked for my number, LOL. Like what kind of ask for your number? Jonathan, wait. Why would you say LOL? Do you mean lots of love, which is what you thought LOL stood for?

You're laughing out loud that people asked for your number. It was cute. Were these people appropriate age? What type of number asking is this? What does appropriate mean? Speaking of which, we could go right into the Sophia episode, which has no old-fashioned qualities to it. What did you think?

She's a demographic I was asking why I'm about, because I didn't know, I thought a podcast is supposed to reach every age group, and I thought it would have been interesting to have that kind of voice with Ricky Lake. What I liked about Sophia with an F, she was much more down to earth. And I don't know if it's because she really, you know, she did relate to Mayam. I thought they had a great interchange. I mean, I really thought it went really well. She wasn't at all threatened, Sophia with an F.

She didn't feel like Mayam was putting her on the spot in any way. And, you know, I thought, you know, the whole Mormon Jewish. connection was fascinating. Fascinating, yes. But she was very open and she said, make yourself a priority, which I thought was, that was an interesting, very interesting. Also, she's been in therapy her whole life, which. I love that.

Every week, an hour a week. I like that. She said that this luck, luck, luck, luck, luck, look. I mean, I was tempted to Google it, but I was afraid. I didn't. Good. Go with that. fear. I'm told you not to. Yes, but I was, she knew I was going to. I just would be like,

hey, Siri. That's how I do it. That's how I do it. But, you know, I really thought she was much more open and much more welcoming. And I thought it was a really great interchange between Miami and her. I thought they, I mean, I don't know what it was behind the scene. It appeared to me to be very genuine. It was like my childhood home behind the scenes, totally different than what it looked like on the outside. Too soon. We're going to talk about the wooden floors again? That's fine. Not every house needs floors that are finished. Anyway, back to the podcast reviewing. You know, I thought that was a very interesting combination. I liked it. I didn't feel any strain. And I really welcomed that voice. Did it strike you at all, you know, as interesting.

or did it feel kind of like another world to hear kind of what a lot of young people's experiences of kind of like drinking a lot and like, whoops, I got arrested? She wasn't at all horrified by it. It was really a real casual, like, this is what I did today, you know. I got too drunk. I partied too much.

I got arrested. But she had a really sweet, she wasn't spoiled yet, you know. And I thought she had a lot more depth than she allows herself to show. I loved it. Okay, that's Sophia with an F. On to Sam Harris, transcend the illusion of the self. Did you expand your consciousness through mindfulness after that episode?

He was not my style. Okay, let's put it that way. He was no canal for you. No, nobody's conná but cano. But here's the thing. I'm not saying the message was not valuable. I'm not saying the message wasn't real or genuine on his part. it didn't strike a chord because, let's put it this way, it didn't touch me emotionally.

And I don't know if that's a guidepost, that if it doesn't touch me emotionally. Well, I think actually that's an interesting point about our Sam Harris episode. It wasn't an emotional episode. He is not a deeply emotional, meaning emoting person. He's communicating a type of information that is very clinical because it is philosophy. But yeah, you like a good cry, don't you, mom? Well, I like to be touched. On to Jaliel White, who is the next episode.

Tell us about Jalil. Well, you know what's interesting? Jaliel, I like Jaliel. However, I liked it even better when I went and looked at Miam on his website, which I now am learning to do. You mean his podcast? Yeah, his podcast, sorry. I knew Jaliel from, you know, back then when they were young.

you know, I was just so happy to see him as a grown-up because I think he had a hard childhood, even though he was a famous star. You know, he was really an odd character. You know, and all of the memories, I mean, it made me very nostalgic when Miam spoke about the NBA games. See, this is what gets me emotional.

When Miam spoke about the NBA games and it was like I was in the room because Barry and I went and it was just such exciting times. I mean, I know from Miami it was hard work, but it was just so much fun. And you got treated, you know, so fabulously. And it was a different time.

You know, you could really see everybody in the hallway. And so, yeah, but his was, you know, pretty straightforward. I think he had a rough time. And the part that kind of surprised me, no, it didn't surprise me. When they had the little dueling, who grew up more, I don't know if it was your podcast or his, who grew up more, you know, down to earth? I think what we were talking about was kind of the, you know,

for me, there was a real change in lifestyle, you know, when I became an actor. And for him, it was less so. I mean, obviously, it's like it's scales and its levels. I thought it was interesting because once again, that's one of the things, you know, I'm sure you saw it that way. It probably was that way. When I shared it with one of my sister in Israel, she's like, one bathroom for four people.

that's, we thought that was good. She said, I grew up, you know, seven people with a bathroom. All right. So let's compare a tenement house during World War II to my childhood and see who suffered more. Definitely you. It wasn't move up. I mean, we were doing better. We were, you know what?

If you learn nothing else from this episode, I grew up better than a tenement house during World War II. Isn't that the goal? Incremental betterment is the goal. That's what I'm talking about. I don't really have a problem. Like I don't feel like I was, you know, robbed of something. I'm happy with the existence that I had.

But yeah, it was hard. It was hard not having money like other kids when I was younger. And, you know, things matter to kids, like name brands. And, you know, I remember that. But also, you were really a master of doing a lot with a little, you know, whether it was decorating or, I mean, you just were. Like I felt like our house was cooler than everybody else's. It wasn't as fancy.

But it was, I definitely felt like super at home in my house and it was comfortable. And yes, I did get splinters in my feet very frequently. It ripped up the shag carpet. So, yeah. Thank you for ripping up the shag carpet. We were allergic. You know, what was, and this is part of it, what was sad about Jaliel White was when he spoke about always having to smile and always having to be there for the public. And that,

that really touched me because, you know, that was my, you know, they kind of had the same journey. And, you know, you worry about that. You know, you just and, and, you know, when you guys spoke about, you know, who stayed on the set and, you know, I mean, yeah, because what happens with child actors, even if they're the star of the show, nobody was on the set but me. I mean, the agents in the office, the lawyers in the office, everybody's in the office. So anything that was going to stay kind of fair to Miami, I had to be the one. And they allowed that. But it was like, otherwise, you know, I came in some days, and I'm sure there was the same for him. She'd be the only one working. Everybody else was a stand-in because the other actors had appointments. They were

here, there. And I'm like, why is she the only one working all day? She's the star of the show. That's why. She's the star of the show. I understand, but it's not right. You know, they should have said the star of the show, we'll put a stand-in for her and let her rest. Things were also very different then, and there's a lot of things to juggle. It's still like, it's still like that. We're working on Call Me Cat. It's like juggling a lot of schedules and a lot of things. And yeah, I don't, I don't really think about that stuff much. Bev, tell us a little bit more about what you saw when mine was young and the pressures of being in the public eye, that notion of having to put on that face to go into public

and to the appearances. And obviously, the working on set is long hours, very difficult. But what was, what did you see the toll or the exchange repercussions were of her having to, you know, be an adult very young? I think it takes a toll. you kind of have to go inward a lot. And Mayam always had so many resources, you know, in herself. But I think she had to turn in because all day you're pleasing everybody.

And then if you leave work and have to continue that. So I always wanted to try and have her have a normal experience. And when her friends went off to college, I remember that was when it was very important to me that she have her own guest house in the back. So we kind of moved across the street because I felt she should also have an experience of being away from me and her dad. And, you know, she wasn't because we're together all day on the set.

We're living in one house, even though it was a lovely house then. I mean, it was beautiful. But I felt like I wanted her to at least have an experience of I'm separate from them. I could have my own door. People can come and go. they don't have to be involved. So that was really my push. I don't know if you were aware of that,

Mayam, but that was how I felt because she was robbed of that. I'm going to college at a certain age. She went later, but it's different. What about the emotional tool? What about like, what did you see in her in those moments where she had to put it on? You know, she's not working and then she has to either go into work. And what did you see the change in her sort of 16, 17? And what was that like? You know, 1617, she had a, you know, great Scottish vibe. And, you know, she had the just killed skirts and the black lipstick and, you know, braided hair. And she had, you know, a Scottish guy friend.

And, you know, it was all, she was really very hip and still is. But, you know, that takes away, you know, you give so much of yourself, then you want to be something else other than blossom when you're out. but she was always mindful that she was still a good person. She didn't want to go crazy and go on drugs and drink, you know. But she had a quirkiness that allowed her to kind of escape that other image. But emotionally, it was really hard because people want all of you. And they're nice, nice, nice.

Let's say you're in a restaurant. Everybody's sweet. Everybody's smiling. Everybody's great. If you say no once, they could turn on. you in a minute and just your child doesn't matter. Curse you. Oh, look at that bitch.

She, you know, she's not taking a picture. So the public feels like not only that they know you, they feel they own you and they feel you owe them. We watch you. You owe us. That takes a big toe. My Ambialx breakdown is supported by superpower. We all know the feeling of leaving a doctor's office and kind of feeling like we didn't get

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I was going to go to A.J. McLean. You know, here's one that really, I felt, you know, that alcoholism, that feeling of turbulence and it's like when you see those commercials for people that are drunk and everything's flying, that's kind of what I felt, you know, in my marriage. So when I hear somebody talk about that kind of chaos and chaotic thinking, I feel very much at home in a way. So what he said really touched me. And I didn't, I asked Miami about, you know, allergy and is it a choice? And because I thought, when he said it's a choice, I thought it was very brave because a lot of, and I'm not saying it's wrong. I think that's not the

AA program, that they don't feel it's a choice. They feel it's more of a disease. It is a disease and also there are choices we make. There's a nuance in there. But, you know, I thought it was brave. And I don't know. And I like the fact, although it shouldn't be built in, I like the fact that you can relapse and then the next day start again.

So it doesn't have to be like Lost Weekend with Ray Milan, where you relapse and you never come back from it, you know, for months. But I almost, I questioned whether the relapse was like built in. Okay, sober relapse. So I don't know how much that's in his thinking. And I don't know if it's bad because it doesn't sound like he, I don't know, if he's the kind of person when he's drunk, he can have, you know, like a hundred drinks. And, you know, I don't know.

I don't know what a lot is if you can relapse and come back. But he's so brave that he keeps. coming back to be sober. Yeah, and I think the question is not so much, how many, I mean, you know, they say one is too many and all the drinks in the world is not enough, you know. But I think it's less about sort of when I talk to friends of mine who have gone out, as we say. What does gone out mean? Fallen off the wagon is how you used to describe it. It's rarely the drink, you know.

It's the amount of self-care that has been lacking in many cases or the lack of. of kind of spiritual rigorous. Like people always say, like, I wasn't doing this or I wanted to do it this way or this triggered me this way and I didn't reach out. You know, so people usually can isolate it, but it's not simply, you know, just like, well, I had six drinks and, you know, there's a reason. Like, you're filling that hole, you know. And drink is what puts you over. Right. The thinking comes first. And yeah, the drinking is the solution to the thinking. I really could relate when he said lean into the uncomfortable. I thought that was a brilliant line.

And yeah, that made a lot of sense. Sparkly, alcoholic, I don't know. I wasn't sure what he meant there if he was talking about the relapse. No, so sparkly alcoholic is the description of a certain kind of personality that typically is very charismatic, usually creative, sensitive, like exciting and adventurous, but often what comes with that, when we talk about it like that, is also some hole that needs to be filled. But, you know, a lot of people will say, like, I love alcoholics, meaning that kind of excitement and that chase and that, you know, well. Aren't some alcoholics depressed all the time? I mean,

you can go either way, no? So most alcohol, many alcoholics live productive lives and they, they go to work and they do things? And yeah, there's always a hole that you're filling. First, it's fun, then it's fun with problems, then it's just problems. That's the path of any addict. Let's do some rapid fire because we need to get through a couple other points. How do you feel about nail polish for men? I love it.

Great. Moving on. Did you review your own episode? Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. I was hard. I was hard on myself. It dropped on my phone, like on a Thursday. I'm like, what, a new episode?

And then I see it's Bevice. My heart was like founding. I was like so crazy. I was in bed. I was like, oh, my God, this is insane. As I say, the camera was under here. I wish I had a mask on or a burka. No.

You look beautiful, mom. You look beautiful. Did you notice that you got your own thumbnail on YouTube? You have your own title and your own thumbnail. I don't know what a thumbnail. It's the little square of showing our faces. We gave you your own color palette so people could look forward to the Bevisodes. Did you do an email blast to every single person you know telling them you were on?

Yes. Yes, I did. Why not? I'm just asking, what did it say? What did you say in your email? I said, Miami has a, because I've told them before, but I said, Myam has a podcast. You may or not, may or may not have been watching it,

but she just did an episode with me called Bebisode. If you want to see it, go to it. You can see it or hear it or whatever. What did you learn in this last batch about Mayam that you didn't know before? She surprises me every time. I learned that, you know, Mayam can be, forgive me, very self-deprecating. Mm-hmm. It's true. In the episode with Sophia,

I learned that she is so relaxed and with it. I mean, I just loved it. She was great. So I learned that. I mean, that was really. And we wonder why I'm self-deprecating. What also we're learning is that she connects really well with a broad range of people.

So while she thought, as revealed in the Glennon episode, that no one would want to talk to her, we're getting a lot of different people from a lot of different backgrounds. and they all really enjoy hanging out with mine. I mean, I'm not surprised. Tell Maim two things that she did really well these last few episodes. You know what, Jonathan, you got a lot of complaints about that question.

I got a lot of positive feedback that people like that question. They liked the question, and I didn't agree with them, but a lot of people, a couple of people wrote in and said, missed opportunity, you didn't ask Mayam what Beverly did well. In the first episode, I closed the episode, by saying, and I wasn't do well, I said, Bev, tell Mime two or three things that she either's doing well or that you appreciated about her. And people said you should have had her say to me, but I felt like she said a lot of nice things about me, but they wanted you to ask the question two ways. Just saying.

Well, I would address those people by saying that despite the fact that the traditional mother-daughter relationship can change as the mom gets a little bit bit older and the child becomes an adult, I am promoting the standard relationship and reinforcing a positivity where we are honoring Maim's child self and giving her some of that love that, you know, I think even adult children still need. That's very nice, Jonathan. Thank you. So what was my question? Your question was two or three things in the last batch of episodes that Maim did really well or that you appreciated? I appreciated that Mayam was so honest about her own feelings

and divulged things that she had never spoken about on camera. Thank you. Very, very brave. I really, really admired the vast different people that Mayam could talk to comfortably. You know, and know enough about their subject to really be informed and have a, I really enjoy Mayam and you're also the introduction to the people because it shows the basis of Mayam's knowledge. We're talking about Mayam before the person even gets on. So I love that Mayam gets to, she gets to talk to different people from different areas.

Regardless, she seems to have a good grasp. Who do I get that from? We're going to wrap this up, Bev, by giving you a little bit of pats on the back, which is to say that both Mime and I, and I'm speaking for her in this moment, I hope that's okay, we're both very impressed with your willingness to be in therapy at your age and your qualities of self-reflection, which a lot of people had commented on in the first episode, saying that it takes an enormous amount of courage and strength to dig up the emotions and history that you're dealing with. The way that you came on and shared about when you were 14

and starting to look at your family dynamic, I heard through the grapevine that you just started a new type of intensive somatic work. And I want to give you a shout out to say that it is brave. It takes a lot of effort. And we really value your courage. And thank you for coming on and sharing with us. And we would love to hear about it in the next episode. I want to say one more thing, not to make it a schmooze fast. to Shmoose Fest. But, you know, the last six years, Miami really has been my biggest supporter.

And she's the one who really supported my journey and pointed me in the right directions and even told me who would not be happy if I made changes because dynamics would change in relationships would shift. And she was right. It was like a self-fulfilling prophecy. But to this day, up until this week, you know, I can always text her. She'll give me a book.

She'll give me a meditation. And I just love it. I just, it's comforting to know that she's not only my daughter. She is like my biggest supporter. And, you know, it's just, I can't say enough. To the audience listening, if you haven't already subscribed, please do so. Drop us a five-star review. You can tell us what your favorite.

episode is and you can even recommend an episode for us. If you want to ask my name anything, you can do so at biolicbreakdown.com. That's BIA. L-I-K breakdown.com. We thank everyone who's been asking questions and we will get to more. Bev, did you practice your sign-off? From my breakthrough to the one I hope you always have. We'll see you next time. She stopped biting her nails. She's showing us. She never bit them. She never bit them. She never bit them. She never bit them. From our breakdown to the one we hope you never have.

And from Bev's breakthrough to the one she hopes you always have. We'll see you next time. Bye. It's my and Bialyx breakdown. She's going to break it down for you. She's got a neuroscience Ph.D. or two. One fiction. And now she's going to break.