Mayim Bialik's Breakdown - Corey Feldman: They Abused Me, I Learned to Forgive

Episode Date: January 24, 2023

Corey Feldman (The Goonies, Stand By Me, The Lost Boys) opens up about his abusive childhood, grappling with the deaths of so many of his friends, and his spirituality. He discusses what he remembers from his early days of acting, why he wishes he had the option to say no to fame, and the abuse he suffered at the hands of his predators and his own parents. Corey reflects on the healing nature of being a parent, how his life has changed since finding sobriety, and the thought patterns he uses to achieve forgiveness for those who have hurt him. He explains being of service as a form of therapy, his love of philosophy, and the exchange of energy he experiences during his performances.  Corey Feldman's "Love Left 2.1" Boxset: https://www.cifirecords.com/product-page/preorder-love-left-2-1-boxset See Corey Feldman on Tour: https://coreyfeldman.net/tour-details-2/ BialikBreakdown.com YouTube.com/mayimbialik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Nobody's going to be responsible for you except for you. But we're also not responsible for anything other than our own actions and reactions. We're not responsible for what somebody else decides to do with this situation. If we bring something up and they go haywire, that's not your responsibility. But it is your responsibility if you're purposely triggering them, if you're purposely pushing a button, if you're purposely doing it to get that reaction. So it's a fine line. It's my and be allics breakdown.

She's going to break it down. for you because you know she knows a thing or two and now she's going to break down can i get a pair of sunglasses like kore jonathan stop yes you can all you have to do is go to sun by side it's real easy in a simple answer um i i'm hi i'm biolic this is jonathan Cohen, welcome to our breakdown. We are laughing because we are already having a great time with a really, really exciting guest. We have

Corey Feldman here. Who's already my best friend, more than yours, so just saying I'm winning. Cory Feldman, if you, so some people listen to this podcast, but a lot of people watch it. And this is one I think that people need to watch. It hasn't happened yet.

Because then you get to see these amazing sunglasses that Jonathan so badly wants a pair of. That's right. The glasses, the It's a, is it a suit? It is kind of a suit. It's a slacks in a, suit jacket. It's a very, very snazy out.

Like, this is an outfit, honestly, I would like to wear. You know what? I want this hair. This is like, this is good, you guys. I think I'm going to become your stylist, is what's going to happen here. I'm going to come over. I'm getting you some glasses. This is a suit.

We'll be wonderful. You know what this outfit says? What is it saying? You had somewhere to go today. You woke up with intention and you know what? It shows respect to the podcast. You showed up like this? Hold on.

Did you? Did you do other? things more important than this today? No, I dressed up for you. See? Not for real. So for those of you. This is what she cares about us. But this is the way I philosophize. If I'm going to do something and it's in the business realm, I want to look like a business person. I don't want to go, you know, wearing jeans in a t-shirt and being all sloppy. Describe what I look like for people who are listening. You look like a business person. You've got your hair and a bun. You got your glasses on. You got a nice sweater going, you know. I mean, you look like a, you know, like a podcast host.

Okay. But this is- You don't look like you're off game. you just don't look like you're maybe on like talk show circuit game. It's like, you know, levels, right? All right. People may not know who Corey Feldman is because sometimes people have crawled out from under a rock. I'd like to just read a little bit. Cory Feldman began his career.

No, I can be your plumber. You find my ad in the white pages. So Corey Feldman began his career at the age of three. He was in a McDonald's commercial. I also have been in a McDonald's commercial when I was 11. Corey has literally been a mainstream. day in the industry. You've been in over a hundred films. Your first leading role, I mean, one of my favorites, the Bad News Bears in 1979. You've been in some of the most kind of formative

films of a certain generation's life, Gremlins, Goonies, Stand by Me, and the Lost Boys, is very exciting. In addition, you are a producer. I mean, you do so many things. You wrote a memoir. And you're a musician, which I've known kind of like for many, many years of my life. I knew that you were a musician. But this is something that while many of us knew you acting, you also had this whole musical. I was working simultaneously in the studio creating music. This is a whole other side of your life is your musical side. All during the pandemic, I was working on this kind of gargantuan mammoth project,

which turned into this box set, which is seven discs, I'm sorry, six discs, four CDs, two DVDs, a hologram, a 50-page color magazine, all kinds of goodies inside. This is a collection then of music. Right. From going all the way back 35 years. Wow. So my first album was released in 1993. It's called Love Left.

We remixed and remastered all the songs on that album. And while we were going through those tapes, we found a bunch of stuff that I never ever released. So we remixed that too. Exactly. Also, this box is stunning. Can people get this box or this is like a limited edition? Well, it's a limited edition.

We only made, I think, 500 of them. Wow. There's only about 80 left. You can get it on my website, Coreyfelman.net. It is rather pricey because, as you can see, it's a lot of work. It's like a whole universe in here. Yes. I want to take us back a little bit.

Where were you born? Right here. You were born in your house, but yes. In Encino, California. Really? So you were a valley kid. I was born a valley boy, yes. Wow.

You've talked a lot about your family and some of the complexity with your mom, but you started acting very, very young, correct? I did. You were... Three. Wow. We've gotten to speak to some really interesting, you know,

actors who started that young. We talked to Candice Cameron Boube. Yes. And we had Jody Sweeten on recently. And, you know, I started acting at 11. I was considered, you know, an old maid. It's still young, but very different than that. And we had Seth Green on and he had some really interesting memories from his, you know, kind of early acting.

Do you remember being that young? All of it. Wow. Every bit of it. If you read my book, the first page of the book is the first memory I have, which is my first day going to set. Wow. My first memory literally is waiting at the kitchen table, eating cereal, and my grandmother's showing up at the door, knocking on the door to come watch, I guess, my sister, while my mom took me to the set

or she was taking me to the set while my mom, no, but I'm pretty sure my mom was with me on that first day. Were you a precocious child? Did you like attention? Were you cute? Like, what was it? I mean, yes, no.

I did like attention. I was a bit of a ham. I was a little bit of a loud mouth. But I also lived in a really abusive household where you couldn't be a ham and you couldn't speak up and you couldn't do those things. So it was almost like,

hey, here's a way you can use that energy. This is a funnel for you to get that out, you know. But that said, I do regret the fact that I didn't have a normal life or the option to have a normal life. You know, the problem is, is that when you work so young and your life is dedicated to the point where you're already kind of seen as famous before you're even famous, before you even know what that is, before you know what your own name or worth or value as a human is, the problem with that is you can't get fame and then decide, okay, now I don't want. wanted anymore, it doesn't work that way. Because now people point and laugh at you, people look down at you, because there's this like natural thing that goes on with people, they go, oh, you're working a blockbuster now and you used to be famous, loser.

Right. And you're disregarded as like a loss. Like your life is over. You're worthless. And that's the guilt that's put, you know. That's the guilt that's put on top of you the second you walk out of that hit show or the The second you walk away from that series of films or whatever it is. Right.

So you can't just stop. You'd like to stop, but you can't stop because if you don't, then you get this bullying that happens from the world at large that, oh, well, you're no good anymore. Sorry, I guess you just blew it, you know, you're over with. And so I couldn't let that happen. Right. And so I kept working and I kept working and I kept working. And here we are 50 years later and I'm still freaking working. So do you go to, like did you go to public school?

Were you kind of homeschooled and schooled on sets? Like, I'm just kind of curious what your peer life was like because our peers are usually adults on sets. Like that's kind of what it's like to be a kid. But did you have other like school experiences? I did and they weren't pleasant. Right. You know, because when you're the kid that's leaving all the time, you know, they think,

oh, you think you're special. That's right. You know, you think you're something special so we can pick on you because you're not even ever here and you get to leave. early and you get to not be here half the time and blah blah blah blah blah and blah and they don't realize that I don't want to go it's not me doing it it's my mom and dad making me do it you know and this isn't my choice this is my parents choice and you know what I mean like they don't get it and they also don't get that you're going to work they don't get that you're sitting you know for 10 hours a day

on a hot set and you still have to go to school by the way it's not like you get away with not going to school you still go to school but you also have to work and you have to do both in one day and they don't understand that so it's very traumatic for a child because they lay into you heavily you don't have friends everybody hates you uh and they don't realize they're jealous of you at that age they just think that you're an ass or whatever and they don't like you right you're you think you're special and it's that when in fact i was not that guy i was a very sweet kid uh i had good intentions and i i you know would have loved to have more camaraderie as a kid but unfortunately wasn't there. I did make friends in my neighborhood. You know, I lived in a coltisac when I

stayed at my grandmothers. So that's kind of one of the reasons I like going to my grandmother's. Aside from not being abused on a daily basis, that was... Was she also in the valley? She was in the valley and she was not, you know, she was not in any way abusive. My grandfather was abusive leaning, I guess you would say these days. But he was, you know, he was raised in the days when everybody beat their kids and that's just the way it was. So he was, he was beat badly by his father. He beat his children badly. Right. Hurt people hurt. But when it came time to raise the grandkids, he tried not to do that. Right. So there was only one time he was really physical with me. Um, so I did feel that that was a bit of a safe haven. Even though he had a tendency

to violence, he was able to refrain it. He just yelled a lot and made me think he was going to kill me all the time, but he didn't actually go through with it. Whereas my mom actually would go through with it and had no limit to that. There was no end to it, you know. It's interesting, and the reason I asked about school and stuff is because, you know, you were part of, I mean, obviously you did a lot of acting before things like Stand By Me and Goonies and things like that, but you became part of an aspect of the industry that was all of these young, talented actors, you know, and it was kind of all these different combinations

and permutations of actors. I mean, we called you the Corrie's, you know? It was you and Corey Haim, and it was. this group of guys and you could see all of you in different films. And I mean, it was this amazing collection of cinema at that time that you were part of. Did friendships come out of that then that became your peer group? Like, is that sort of where you maybe felt a little camaraderie? It didn't. Unfortunately, 90% of them are gone. Yeah. I mean, literally, we were talking a little bit about it before we started rolling. But yeah, I mean, like, it's tragic and it's sad because at my age,

I should not have so much loss of life. But yet, I feel like I'm a 75-year-old man because literally 70% of my friends are gone. 70% of them are gone. You know, that's insane. It was a very rigorous emotional time. And also, you know, we were young people and teens at a time when drugs looked very different.

We were able to experiment and it wasn't life or death. They would tell you it was life or death, which was I always said one of the problems with the anti-drug message was that they lied to kids. You know, they would tell kids, oh, you know, if you do this drug, it's going to kill you. And then they would see their friends do it and it didn't kill them. And then they go, well, you're lying to me. Just like Santa Claus, you're lying to me. Well, it was also the equating of, let's say, you know, I mean, I was part of the DARE programs, you know, Jonathan's a little bit younger.

Also Canadian. I was not just part of it, but I was the guy that was the head. I don't know if you remember this, but I was the head of an organization called Hollywood. would kids say no to drugs? I remember this, Corey. Exactly. And you were probably there. It was probably there.

I would almost imagine you with a sweater on. Yeah. Being part of, do you remember the guy, Steve, who is the head of it? I do not remember. We would need it as house in Malibu. And it was everybody. It was Sean Aston. It was his brother, McKenzie.

Yep. Oh, my God. You know, Mino and Saleh were there. That's right. You know, it was all of us, right? I mean, we were either there at Ed Debevix. That's what I remember. That's right.

Drew all of us, right? Yeah. And so the point being that I was very anti-drug. I was very serious about that. I hated drugs. I saw what they did to my mom. I was never a fan. And then my dad was always smoking weed.

So I was like, well, I guess it's okay because ever since I was seven years old on the set of Bad News Bears, my dad was smoking weed. Every time I'd get in the car, he was with some of the producers smoking weed. So I thought, this is fine. No big deal.

Then a couple years later, he introduces me to this guy who ends up giving me every drug I ever tried and molesting me. And then Alfie, you know, endorses drugs and molests me and has parties at his house where they're feeding kids drugs and alcohol.

Right. So that's what you're raised around. Well, and also I want you to speak a little bit to, I mean, I appreciate, I mean, I think we both appreciate the honesty that you're willing to have about this. It's not something that... Well, you were there.

And, you know, it's nice to talk to somebody that was there. Sure. Because it's hard to live life with everybody going, I don't know what he's talking about. Is he even telling the truth? My Ambialx breakdown is supported by Superpower. We all know the feeling of leaving a doctor's office and kind of feeling like we didn't get anything out of the experience that was useful.

Maybe they're like, you're fine. Drink more water. There's no real data. There's no game plan. This has happened to me many, many times, especially on the perimenopause journey. That's why we're fascinated by what Superpower is doing. They send a licensed professional to your home.

or you can visit a nearby lab, one simple blood draw with over 100 biomarkers. That's way more than you usually get. It unlocks a true understanding of your body. Their app has detailed information on heart, liver, thyroid hormones, metabolism, vitamin, and mineral levels, even environmental toxins. From disease prevention to treating that annoying brain fog or simply optimizing your gym game, superpower is the most comprehensive and advanced system out there. I've been super tired of constantly guessing or just trying to read articles online about what to do

for health. Superpower gives you an actionable health plan based on personal results. It's a real game changer. Plus, they have an on-demand clinician team to answer questions. Supplement or prescription suggestions can be directly bought through superpower so you don't have to go anywhere else. They also have nutritional guidance, tips for lifestyle and behavioral adjustments. You even get your true biological age that you can track over time. Superpower used to cost $499. Right now, it's $199 for the full experience, which is much more affordable than anything else out there. Make this the you stop guessing about your health with superpower. Superpower.

Not only did Superpower reduce their price to just $199, but for a limited time, our listeners get an additional $20 off with the code break. Head to Superpower.com. Use the code break at checkout for $20 off your membership. And after you sign up, they'll ask how you heard about them. Make sure to mention my ambiolics breakdown to help support the show. I've also lost people, you know. I've also, you know, and so I'm often asked,

and especially after people would die. It was often like, oh, this publication wants to know how you made it out and why do people do drugs in the industry and why are all these kids like this so i'm not going to tell you my answer but i know you are want to hear your answer well no but i'd like you i'm going to ask you to go first because well i did go first i put out a documentary and a book okay so you know i've been very careful to not kind of state what i think people want to hear which is that like my parents knew how to keep me in line, you know, which is like, that's not true.

People want to hear that. What they want to hear is, did you experience drugs around you at a very young age? Correct. Did you see kids getting molested? Was there pedophilia in Hollywood when you were a young kid? Did you ever hear about it? Did you ever see it? That's what they want to know.

Well, and I think also, you know, the answer that I favor is saying it's not just Hollywood kids that experience this, you know, what, Kids everywhere. Well, and I think also, like, even beyond kids, like, the way that I sort of try and frame it, or at least what makes sense to me, you know, when I think about the people that we've lost, you know, you never know what's going on in people's homes. You never know what's going on with people's lives and hurt people hurt is something we talk about a lot. And when you have a situation where a child is given disproportionate power

and disproportionate access to a lifestyle that feeds an ego, it's a very complicated chemistry, you know? It's very, very complicated. And, you know, when you have a situation where, where as a young person, you are raised to please people, right? You're raised to perform. You're raised to not really have needs, right? Like, you don't get sick days as a kid and a teenager.

Like, we didn't grow up that if we were in a bad mood, you just say, like, I don't feel good today. I don't want to interact. I'm not going to school. I'm not going to work. I'm not going to the set. Right. When you have that framework, of course there's going to be a vulnerability there.

Right. But there's also the big pink elephant in the room, which is kids, most kids don't go to a party. Correct. With all adults. Correct. Okay. And half of those adults are not grooming those children specifically to apply them with drugs and alcohol.

so they can get what they want out of them. I mean, let's face it. And also, like, people don't want to, people don't want to talk about these things. Like, nobody wants to hear that kind of truth. So that's why I was saying, I do appreciate the honesty that you bring to it. And it's an incredibly huge part of, you know,

the identity that you have kind of stepped into, meaning for you to be able to say, like, I didn't even choose this. I didn't even want it. And here I am, but you're going to do it in the way that's authentic to you. Listen, I live my life thinking this, that I have one shot to do it right. I am a spiritual man.

I believe in God. I pray every night. And I believe that God wants help with this. I believe that that was the message that was given to me after I saw too many of my friends die. And it wasn't because they died because they were random knuckleheads who just did a lot of drugs. These kids were badly abused. Let's call it what it is. They were badly abused.

I was badly abused. And that's why we did drugs. We did drugs because generally the abusers were the ones giving us the drugs. Otherwise, we wouldn't have had them in the first place. A 15-year-old doesn't walk down the street and get cocaine or heroin. It doesn't happen. But when you've got adults that can drive them or bring it to them or whatever, that's how it happens. So call it what it is.

Don't blame the kids. Blame the adults because it's their responsibility. Tell me about your spiritual side. Were you always spiritually inclined? Always. You were raised Jewish. I knew that. I mean, I was just like your name.

I was like, Feldman. Like my grandmother would come in in the middle of the night, and I'd be praying on my hands and knees, and she'd go, what the hell are you doing? I'd say, well, I'm praying. And she said, but that's not how we pray. And it's how I pray. Wow.

You know, I don't know why, but that's what I'm told. What did you pray for as a child? Do you remember? I used to pray for my own selfish means. Seriously. I mean, I used to be like, you know, God, please give me this or please don't let this day be so bad. Or, you know, please take care of me, protect me,

watch out for me. You know, nowadays, since getting sober, I learned that, you know, it's best to pray for others and not pray for yourself because praying for your own selfish means tends to go nowhere. But when we pray for others and we pray selflessly, you know, hoping that God protects my family, hoping that my child is okay, hoping that my wife is okay, hoping that, you know, this kid who I know who has cancer is okay. You know, those are the things that matter. most and I think that when you're selfless instead of selfish and you give back instead of taking all the

time that things just tend to work out for you you know I've been through hell the last five years and many people have sought to make sure of it but somehow I've ended up on my feet every time there's got to be a bigger explanation I mean I literally they tried to kill me a couple times and the fact that I survive those things is it's beyond a miracle there's no other explanation other than the fact that I know that my path is what it's supposed to be. What else do you do to kind of keep, you know, your mental sobriety or your, you know, physical sobriety besides, let's say, prayer or spiritual, like, what else do you do? Obviously, you play music, and I'm sure that's a great outlet. There's a lot of giving back, you know, visiting kids at hospitals or, you know, being a big brother type thing.

Being of service. You know, being of service, wherever I can. And that goes all day and night because, believe me, on social media, I literally, I literally, have people all day and night that say, thank you so much for speaking out. I was abused too. I went through this as a child. Your strength gave me courage to speak up because of you. I'm now pursuing my own case or now I'm doing this or now I'm doing that. So that is the inspiration. But as an artist, I had to also say, I can only do so much, you know, because I've got to continue my career. I am here to be a light. I am here to help in any way that I can. But at the same time,

I also got Smackdown really hard for trying to do so. It's not like the industry went with open arms. Hey, thank you for helping and spreading the truth. They were like, psh, right? So I had to learn like, look, if I'm going to be able to manage to survive and feed my family, I've got to know when to cap it. And so there is only so much one person can do because there's only so much the universe is going to allow one person to do. I'm not Superman. I'm not God.

I'm not, you know, an external thing. I am just one mere basic human. And therefore, all I can hope is that by continuing to try to strive to be the best version of a human I can be, but somehow God facilitates the rest of it. And that means getting through life without any major chaos or major problems or hurdles. And there's hurdles, but I somehow always managed to get over them without knocking myself over. What's your daily practice of... Try not to go nuts.

If I can make that ask. I'm all right. I mean, I do get on my knees and pray pretty much every day. I mean, that's a real thing. If I feel I need to, I sometimes write a list of the things that I need to accomplish the next day to keep myself on target. I make sure to always be there for my family. That's, you know, my rule, family first. And I don't mean my parents and all that.

I mean, like, you know, my brothers and sisters to some extent. but really my wife and my child and then our extended family, which is my band, because we've been living together on a bus for six months. So it's like we're really a family now. And you know how that is. When you're working on a project, you become super close with these people. And these people are now living in my home. So literally, I'm like, it's like the partridge family at this point.

You know, we all get the bus. Okay, time to go on the road again, kids. Let's go. And now we're setting up an international tour for this year. So the idea is to spread, and guess what? It's called the love tour, you know, not like the love tour that the other guy's doing, but like ours is love retours because instead of love returns, which was the name of my EP, we put out an eight-song EP earlier last year before we put out the box set, which was

kind of an appetizer for the box set. And it was a picture disc, really cool vinyl picture disc, had eight songs, and we called it Love Returns. And so based on that and the fact that I hadn't toured since. 2017 we called it Love Re Tours, like the return to touring. And it's been amazing. It's been so

beautiful. What a great experience being able to see people again, hug my fans, you know, and the energy on stage, it's like, for the first time in my life, I feel like they're coming in prepared. They know the words to the songs. They're listening to the music. They're listening

to the lyrics. And they come in and they sing along and they get into it. And they love it and it's this this exchange of energy that is so powerful. I've had so many people tell me it was like going to church. It was like a prophet type experience because they come in not knowing what to expect in some cases or they've seen us before and they do know what to expect, but they get there and it's like they just surrender. They surrender everything and you see it, you see it transform them and it's good old fashioned rock and roll and music and dance and love. I have a question, something I've noticed. You play with words.

in a very interesting way, just like when we were talking about love, like you like double meanings and you were talking about retur and, you know, return. Do you have any particular affinity for, like, for poetry or for, is that part of your musical side? Is the writing? I like to be a conduit to whatever the interaction of the spoken language and the unspoken language can be. So in other words, I like to bring the cerebral along with the literal, So that way people can really dive deeper into whatever it is. I think that if you try to just kind of put something out there as a surface idea, it gets overlooked. But I think when you kind of give them a little more to chew on, then they want to dig a little deeper.

And the deeper they dig, if there's another layer there, then it's like peeling back that onion. But have you always just been like that? Yes. Like that's just, like since you were young. Philosophy has always been my favorite. Tell me more. I just, I've always enjoyed reading philosophy. I've enjoyed excerpts from books or passages or.

prayers or, you know, things that are enlightening. I love enlightenment. I love empowerment. I love self-fulfilling prophecy. I always tell people, look, the only thing I can offer is to help you be the best version of yourself that you can be. Because nobody can ever strive to be more than that. But at the same time, many times we forget that we can be at least that.

And wouldn't it be great if all of us believed that we could be our full potential? Think about how much happier and safer the world would be if everybody believed in themselves being their full potential and wasn't worried about somebody else being their full potential. Wouldn't it be great if we could all just build each other up instead of tearing each other down all the time? Everybody wants to pick each other apart, go, well, that person would be good, but they're not cool enough because they don't wear this and they don't do that.

They don't do da-da-da-da. Well, how about we don't tell everybody what to do all the time and just accept them for who they are? He's talking to me. Am I? I don't, I'm not. I'm not, I swear. I have a question because a lot of what you're talking about, and especially like in the self-love arena and especially a bit of your spiritual practice that you talk about, is based on a tremendous amount of kind of tuning in to yourself. Yes. Which it seems like you've obviously done.

An inventory is what they call it in the 12-step programs, but you've got to write out this inventory. And I did that back when I was 21. And that would have been a year ago. So anyway, but I had to get to that point where it was about self-fulfilling prophecy. Like, okay, I've put it out there. I've dealt with it. Those are the issues that I had to deal with. But now, you know, there's another chapter in life. And now we've made more mistakes.

And you've got to correct those mistakes. Right. Nobody's perfect. I'm going to make mistakes. You're going to make mistakes. Well, and so a huge component of that, and I wasn't sure how, if you speak openly, you know, about 12-step stuff. But a huge component of that is, you know, kind of tackling resentments and fears.

And, you know, forgiveness is not necessarily a 12-stepy term. I mean, obviously, it comes up. But we talk more about cleaning up your side of the street and, you know, and things like that. But you've spoken specifically, you know, and I believe the word forgiveness has come up when you talk about, you know, some of your abusers. What does forgiveness look like for you? Like, how does it feel in your body? It's a tough one. It's a tough one.

Thank you for the question. It's a tough one. It's probably the one that I struggle with the most. because I can forgive but I cannot forget. And therefore, if somebody is still a ongoing threat to society by my perception, then I can't forget it. You know, I can forgive what was done to me. And I can say, okay, I'll be fine.

I'll deal with it. But you're still going to go out there and ruin other people's lives. And I can't let that go. And that's where I have the conflict. So I would say, you know, it's it's never about self-adulation, you know, you can never think that you're better than whatever, right? Because then you're stuck on you and that's a terrible place to be, you know. But if you can be okay with yourself, if you can just get to the point of being okay with yourself, where we're not self-abusing, we're not self-harming, we're not looking down

upon ourselves and we're simply just realizing our own worth, then we can be a productive member of society, right? So that to me is where the forgiveness is. It's like I forgive myself for the pain that I've allowed others to cause me. I forgive myself for causing pain to anybody unintentionally, you know? And I also forgive those who have caused pain for me inadvertently. But anybody that's just an evil shit or whatever, you know, this is going out of their way to hurt people. I don't have much forgiveness for that. A lot of people ask us, how do I become okay? How do I get to okay? Yeah. And it happens with a lot of different people, types of traumatic experiences, car accident

or what you describe or, you know, broken heart even. Do you have any, like, thoughts on, like, the physical side of, like, you're struggling to feel okay and sort of, you know, you talk about forgiveness, but what's that process been like for you? I think for me it's more about not holding onto the grudges. It's just not holding on. Look, people get so hung up on, you know, man, that was really painful and they did that to me and I'm going to hold on to this forever and I'm never going to let it go. And you feel it in your body. And that's hurting who? Yeah. Who does that hurt? It's not hurting the guy that did it to you or the woman who did it to you. It's hurting you. Yeah. So my, my message is always let it go. Let it all go. You know, unless it's self-reflection,

that you can't let go because you've got to hold a candle. You got to hold a candle. You got to hold a light to yourself and keep yourself responsible because nobody's going to be responsible for you except for you. But we're also not responsible for anything other than our own actions and reactions. We're not responsible for what somebody else decides to do with this situation. If we bring something up and they go, hey, wire, that's not your responsibility. But it is your responsibility if you're purposely triggering them, if you're purposely pushing a button, if you're purposely doing it to get that reaction.

So it's a fine line. We talk a lot about reactions. And Maim and I are always trying to become more aware of how we react, why we react. Any insight, you seem like you're constantly self-reflecting, any insight that you want to share. We sort of do a little moments of like realizations, anything that you've realized recently that you're like, oh, something that you're working on. Every day, every day. I mean, there's never, I don't feel like. Do we ever finish?

Never. Is there ever a time where we go... I thought we were supposed to. You do? Really? Well, like, when I was a kid, I was like, oh, I'm going to get to a certain egg. Of course. I don't know.

I thought like... Well, or like, then I'll just like, enjoy life. Right. I'm still waiting. Yeah, no. It doesn't happen. It doesn't, it's all... Look, it's a con.

Okay? I'll be real with you. I thought that's because I'm Jewish. Right. No. It's sold to us in a nice little pretty package with a bow on it. And this is the idea we're sold just like Santa Claus. Hey, one day, you're going to...

be an adult. And one day, you're going to have all the answers. And one day, your life is going to be perfect and you'll be teaching everybody else how to live their lives. B.S. Every day, I wake up frazzled, concerned, worried, how do I make it through this day? Or how do I help others? Or how do I help my life or my family or whatever? There's never a day, I think, as long as we're on this planet breathing, that we're going to say, I got it. So what's it like being a, what's it like being a a parent for you because like we were raised. Well, we were raised in a very different time when parents acted like they knew everything. My parents acted like they knew everything and I believed them.

Right. But I get to do it different, right? I get to say to my kids like, I have no idea how to handle this situation. What's it been like for you as a parent? It's been healing. Very healing. Very healing. And you know what?

The pride of like we talked about before, you know, this was off air, but, you know, the fact of knowing that you have raised a child for 18 years that did not get arrested that did not go out and cause so much suris, as we say in the Jewish community, or a problem with other families that you get that call from the other parent. Like, how could your kid do? You know, if you didn't get those calls, if you made it through 18 years without the kid, you know, being called 100 times of the principal's office or, you know, getting sent home because they have, you know,

some improprietary thing or, you know what I mean? There's all those things, right, that you can face as a parent. And I'm so grateful that I never had to face those. I'm so grateful that I actually, like to me, the biggest fear when my child was born, I looked at my wife at the time and I said, how are we going to complete the next 18 years? How can we be mature, responsible, and intelligent enough and compassionate enough to raise this child property so that they don't have any issues so that they don't have any hangups so that they don't feel angry and hatred towards us? Guess what? My kid is 18. He's got a car. He's got his own insurance. You figured it out?

I mean, I didn't figure it out, but he did, right? He texts you back. He texts me, but he lives in my house. He wants to be at my house. Does he look like you? Yes. He's like a little you. Yeah, we're kind of like twinsies. He just, actually, I just cut my hair off. Yeah. Just cut his hair exactly like mine. I want to see a picture after. We were like standing in the mirror yesterday. And it's like, oh my God, we're twins.

What we were talking about with reflections is that it's never done. and I think that's one of the reasons to talk about it and to model what does it look like to continue to have them. I'll give you an example. Yesterday or two days ago, I won't tell you the exact subject, but you, Miami, you actually said something to me. And my first reaction was to be like really frustrated. I remember. And it wasn't until about, I think, a day and a half later that I'm, I was like, oh, maybe your response to that didn't have the emotional weight that I thought it did.

She was asking me for clarity on something. And I took that as like an undercut. Like you don't trust me or you're like not understanding what I'm talking about. But instead of interpreting like that, like a day and a half later, I was like, oh, I think she was just actually unsure. That's something we learn with maturity, right? It's not to go on our initial instincts. That comes with age and maturity. because when you're a kid, you don't think it through.

And this is, you know what? I had this exact conversation with my son two days ago. I said, here is the deal. You want to save yourself a lot of problems. You want to save yourself a lot of drama. Think it through. Think about where is this action going to end up six months, a year, two years down the road? You did a good job.

Thank you. You've been through hell and you did a really beautiful job with that kid. Thank you. Because it's not just like, yeah, they have their own mystical soul and it's beautiful and mystical. But like, look what you did. That's amazing. His mom was there to. She deserves credit to.

I know, but that's amazing. And it must feel really, really good. I mean, that's. And having parents that are present enough to know what's going on with the kid and to be thinking on their behalf because the young man's prefrontal cortex is not finished development. Right. And they just don't go there, right? They're just not thinking responsibly all the time. Be the parent you always wanted to have.

Yes. And it sounds like, we didn't think of that, but is it from a Dr. Becky? That sounds like that's what you're doing. Well, I had to. I had to. I made a very clear choice when I decided to have this child, that if I was going to bring a child into the world and I was going to dedicate those 18 years to make sure I got him right, that I was going to give that kid every bit of love, every bit of support, and every

opportunity of freedom of choice to live his life that I never had. It's beautiful. I mean, could you have done that not sober? Absolutely not. No way. No way. Tell us why. How is it possible?

You know, come on. If I was still the crazy party kid that was 16 years old doing whatever, and I wasn't a bratty kid, I wasn't a stuck-up kid, I was a pretty good kid, but I still made bad decisions. Sure. Because we just don't know. Yeah. You know.

And if you don't know, you don't know. This isn't a vanity comment, but you look really good. Like, you look healthy. Thank you. I feel pretty good. You have beautiful skin. I don't know if people can tell. But like you do like, you have beautiful skin and you take care of your body.

Like I'm assuming that's part of also your kind of regimen. I'm a dancer. I mean, you can't kind of be a dancer at this age and not take care of yourself because you wouldn't make it. I mean, I do a three-hour show. I do a three-hour show. I do a three-hour show. I do a three hours show, two and a half hours every night, every night, five days a week sometimes.

I mean, I'm sometimes just tired just walking around my house. Right. People say that to me all the time. They're like, where do you get the energy? How do you, you dance like you're 20 years old. I go into my doctor and my doctor does the vitals and they say, you literally have the vitals of a 21-year-old. And I'm like, thank you. You know, thank God.

But it's because I quit drinking at 18, 19 years old, right? I was sober by 19. Wow. I quit hard drugs in 19. Yeah. I quit cigarettes 15, what, 12 years ago? Wow. Yeah.

So, I mean, literally, I don't put toxic things into my body. And the big thing is I haven't had a piece of meat in my body since I was 12 years old. But I do, I cheat. I'm not great. I mean, look, I do dairy still. I still eat cheese and eggs and milk from time to time, although I am allergic to milk. So I try to stay away from it. You're human.

But I'm human. I mess up. I mess up. So I'm not perfect. I vape. You know, I've got a few little things. But I'm not doing hard drugs and I'm not drinking booze and I'm not smoking cigarettes and I'm not eating red meat. You have had a very interesting recent.

Love affair. It's a love affair with Jordan. No, but a very interesting recent opportunity to work with, you know, what some people are saying is one of like our great, you know, creators of this time artistically. Tell us about your Jordan Peel experience. Well, we're not working together yet. Right. We're hoping to. I think that's, I think that's from both sides.

He certainly has made certain suggestions that he would like to see that happen. I would like to see that happen. He said he's looking for the right project. We'll see if that happens. That would be amazing. We'll see. But that said, Jordan has some grand fascination with my work and me as an individual, which I am very grateful for. He said that I was, these are his words, not mine.

but he said that I was his muse and that he's been using me as his muse for many years. Love it. And he said that he incorporates pieces of my work or my film work into his film. So I guess with Nope and with us, with all of them, I guess at some point there's Corey Feldman Easter eggs. This is so cool. It's so cool. So I didn't believe it really. I thought it was kind of like a put on really when I read it in some interview.

he did the first time when us came out. So I kind of mentioned it. And then it was like, he went on the talk show and it was like, Corey Feldman, he's great. And I was like, really? Somebody's saying that? What year is it? So, you know, because it's been a while since people of that stature have talked nicely about me in the press.

But that said, then I got an invitation to the no premiere. And when I got the invitation, I was like, what? What? I'm not in that movie. Why are they interviting me? That's very strange. And then I realized who the director was. And I was like, oh, it's Jordan Peel.

Oh, I get it because he's been on a thing with me lately. Okay, I should probably go then. So I went, and it was a fantastic movie, by the way, great movie. It was a lot of subplot about, you know, the stuff we've been talking about. What we go through is child actors. But on top of that, there was some obvious reference points that I saw. I was like, oh, that's from Goonies or that's from standby me. I get it, right?

And then when I was like, you know, I went to the after party. I saw him there and I was like, I got to be polite. I got to go say hello. You know, because if I don't, you know, maybe I shouldn't. I don't want to bother him is what I'm thinking. But then it's his night. He doesn't need to worry about me. I'm not even in the movie.

But then I'm like, he did invite me and he probably wants to say hi. So I should go say hi. So I had to have this personal battle in my head first. You're going like this in the corner, right? Should I. You know what I'm talking about? You don't want to bother somebody. You know what I mean?

It's like, yes, he invited me, but does that mean he really wants to talk to me? So anyway, so I finally convinced myself that it was a good. idea to go say hello and I went over and I said hi and he's like Corey now here's the thing this was like pretty much during COVID still so we all have masks on and he takes his mask mask off and goes Corey and he gives me a big hug now I don't know if that's because he wanted to kill me or if you wanted to be my friend I couldn't tell you but anyway so he gives me a big hug and he says do me a favor take the phone out of my pocket and put your number in it and I was like really okay with the number in you know he's like now send me a text

And I'm like, cool. You know, so I sent myself a text, you know. And from that point on, we started communicating. And so he said, look, I really thank you for you. I really mean this. And then, you know, and then his star, the lead of his movie comes up. And she's like, fawning all over me. She's like, oh, my God, I love you.

I love your movies. You don't understand me and my sisters. We all have goonies tattoos. And then they all show me these goonies tattoos and they take a picture. And then, like, the next night, maybe it's Seth Myers. And they're all on doing the launch of. Nope. And they all say, what was the most exciting part of the premiere? No.

I swear to God. No. Who was the best person that showed up? What was the most exciting part of the evening for you? And they all say Corey Feldman being there. And I was like, wait, what? And that was like, really? And so like, you know, Kiki's like, no, you don't understand.

I love Corey Feldman. Like, he's amazing. And then Jordan's like, yeah, he's really been an inspiration. And they're all talking me up. And then says like, well, how about it for Cory Feldman? All right. You know, like it kind of blew him away that everybody was talking. Okay.

So that happened. I was kind of like, okay, what's this about? So then I have his number. So I'm like, hey, thanks for the mention, you know, and tell Kiki thank you as well. And that was very sweet of you guys. I always love the, you know, the positive word or whatever. And then, you know, I figured, you know, oh, my wife's, it was my wife's idea. I got to give her credit.

She says, you need to show Jordan the birthday. And I said, why? And she goes, because it's a brilliant piece of work. And nobody in America has gotten to see it. And he needs to see that movie. And I said, okay. She goes, so calm up and ask if you can send him a copy. Or set up a screening for him, even better.

So I do what she tells me. And I said, you know, I got this movie. I'd like you to see. So it took about a month and a half to get it set up. But they came over to my house. Oh, my gosh. And Jordan and his producer, Ian from Monkey Paw. Great guy, by the way.

and Jordan and Ian came over to my house on a Tuesday afternoon Like you do And you're right And I you know Closed all the blinds And put up the big screen And it's 5.1 sound

And I played them this movie That has never been released in America And it's my finest proudest work And it's something that I would love everybody to see Because it's adult actor Corey doing what he does Oh you could invite us over And we could watch it

Well fine you guys will come in next Next Tuesday Actually well by the way Friday What is it Friday, January 13th, it will be playing at the Lincoln Center in New York, the most beautiful theater I think we have on a giant screen and presented by Jordan Peel. And the director of the film is flying in from Spain for this occasion because he's also simultaneously nominated for a Critics Choice Award this year for Best Foreign Series. He's a Spanish director. He's got a series on HBO, which is nominated.

So it all kind of worked out magically perfect. Amazing life. Perfectly. You have an amazing, that's an amazing story. It is. That's an amazing story. Okay, is all that wasn't big enough or crazy enough. Here's the craziest part of the story.

So I had this prosthetic ear from Stand By Me. Like you do. Okay, yeah, because everybody's got one, right? No, but now they do because I started selling them. But anyway, so I had this prosthetic ear that I wore in Stand By Me. It was my character who had a burn ear, blah, blah, blah. Jordan, of course, is showing Stand By Me as part of this film festival that he's putting together. This is a real thing.

I believe you. There's a 10-night festival starting today. He's showing nope today in New York at the Lincoln Center. Stand by me, dream a little dream, Friday 13th, the final chapter, and the birthday, premiering in the United States for the first time, all happening because of Jordan at this film festival. Stand by me. He says, it's a big film in my favorite film. I love it so much.

And I say, great. And he says, so much. And if you don't believe what a big fan I am of yours, then how about this one? the ear is on my desk. Stop it. And I said, wait a minute. Hold on. Hold on. We did a giant auction.

The auction got hacked because I was trying to raise money for cancer patients. I did this giant auction for abused children and cancer patients. And I said, I'm going to give the money away. And then these mofos that have been targeting me and harassing me ever since my film premiered, every time I do something online, they infect it. And they shut it down. They poison it some way. So they froze the bid button for 24 hours so we couldn't raise the roof on the price.

And it got stuck at a very low number and I was pissed. I didn't even want to sell it. I was like we shouldn't make that authentic. But I found out who got this amazing deal and this ultra low price. And I'm not saying or inferring that he might have rigged it for that. I don't think I think he just happened to come in at the time and saw that it was done. But I promise. I promise.

No, no, no, no. It's amazing. No, no, no. Breaking news here, Jordan Peel has an army of hackers. No, no, no, no. I'm not playing that at all. But what I am saying is that he kind of came into the auction at the right moment and saw what the price was and said, this is a great deal.

So therefore, I'm going to make a bid. Apparently, unbeknownst to me, when I saw the claim ticket and the winning name, it was not Jordan Peel. It was like Clive Jones or something. I don't know, whoever the, you know, the guy was on there. but according to Mr. Peel he was the guy who bought it under a fictitious name and it is literally

my ear from stand by me is sitting on his desk in his office somewhere I've not in there but that's the story I'm sticking to it you win I don't know what you win but you win it has been so so cool to talk to you and thank you not just for sharing with us but just for all the good that you put out in the world

and I just it's just so much fun to talk to you Corey, can we just do a rapid fire real quick? Yep. This is a rapid fire breakdown style with Corey Feldman. Ready? Ready, I guess. What was your mother right about? Loving animals.

What was your father right about? Loving music. Location that promotes your best mental health. The ocean. Do you have a mantra? If you don't, what might it be? Yes. Live to love and love to live. Oh, that's nice.

Who's been your best spiritual teacher? God. moment of best intuition right this moment and who are you most competitive with myself Jonathan you have one final question it's been said

instead of asking someone how they are you ask them how do you sleep Corey how do you sleep? Very well on your tum-tum oh I see now I thought you were asking about my he's asking how you're asking about my sexual

grade and I was like it's really good from what I hear. No, you sleep well? No, no, I do. I sleep pretty well except touring kind of messes that up obviously because you're in a bus and you're getting bounced around and you know it's hard to kind of sleep in a midair. But that said,

on a general night I usually sleep about if I don't have a really crazy schedule and I can just sleep on my own schedule. Yeah. I'll sleep six to eight hours. Okay. And then I sleep usually on my side. It's good to know. Yeah, I don't like You drink caffeine. You like soda pop.

I do, but I don't drink a lot of coffee. Okay. So I drink Cokes three or four throughout the day. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. And that's it. That's my vice. Well, you don't do it?

I would love to, but I'm not supposed to. Why not? Because this guy is very... What's wrong with this guy? Should we have a talk? Should we have a talk? Sure. I mean, are you the health expert in the relationship?

I don't want to go against the soda pop lobby. No, I'm just asking. I'm very curious now because is this, is this the dynamic? dynamic like me and my wife where she's the health coach and she keeps me in line and tells me what I got to do and what I got to not do. We started this podcast only so that she could hear from other experts what I've been telling her for years about health and well-being. So again, my wife and your man have to meet. I have nothing else to say from our breakdown to the one we hope you never have. We'll see you next time.

Peace and love. It's my ambiolyx breakdown. She's going to break it down for you. She's got a neuroscience. or two one fix you more than now she's gonna break the