Mayim Bialik's Breakdown - Howie Mandel: Never too Late to Make a Change
Episode Date: December 28, 2021Howie Mandel (America’s Got Talent, Deal or No Deal, Howie Mandel Does Stuff podcast) opens up about his struggles with ADHD, anxiety, depression, and OCD. He discusses the rituals and intrusive tho...ughts that force him to hit the pause button on his life, why he finally decided to seek professional treatment, and how his diagnoses have affected his lifepath. Howie explains how Candid Camera first inspired him to do comedy and recounts his first time onstage performing stand-up. He and Mayim consider the importance of living in the moment, hypervigilance as a survival mechanism, and tips on achieving success within therapy. Mayim breaks down ways to manage mental illness with meditation in another installment of Ask Mayim Anything. Howie Mandel's Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/howie-mandel-does-stuff-podcast/id1555137542 BialikBreakdown.com YouTube.com/mayimbialik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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The first date I had with my wife, I had a reputation.
The first time I dated her, I borrowed my mom's car.
I got her in the car.
We were going to a movie or something.
And I hit an ice patch.
And the car started spinning like crazy.
And then we hit the center aisle.
And the car went up on its side and was about to turn over, just as it was about to turn over.
It fell back and fell back on the wheels.
She looked at me and she goes, very funny.
It's my Be all experience.
down she's gonna break it down for you because you know she knows a thing or two and now she's gonna break down
it's a breakdown she's gonna break it down. Hi, I'm Mayam Bialik and welcome to my breakdown. This is the place
where we break things down so you don't have to. Today we're gonna be breaking down someone, possibly
one of the most vocal people. In terms of his mental wellness and his mental health journey,
we're going to be talking to Howie Mandel.
But first, let's talk to one of the most vocal people in the room, Jonathan Cohen.
Hi, Ma'am.
Hi, everyone.
Making noise over there.
I mean, by vocal, you mean I'm shuffling my papers.
Jonathan, are you excited to have a fellow Canadian on today?
I'm trying to think if we've had other Canadians on.
Howie Mandel's literally like from your town.
He is from like around the corner from where I grew up.
It's pretty amazing.
Different, different errors slightly.
Yeah, he could be your dad.
Yep, that's true.
How old is your dad?
My dad is 77.
Oh, okay, your dad is older.
But your dad could have been.
But my dad also had several children before me.
Several.
Several, two, two total.
I know how many siblings I've had.
Okay.
Yeah, very excited to speak to Howie Mandel.
You know, I grew up knowing him as one of kind of the most prominent Jewish comedians who wasn't a million years old.
That's kind of how I describe it.
Like, I knew that there were lots of, you know, comedians that my parents liked and that my grandparents liked.
But Howie Mandel was like, young.
He felt very much like my family, like the way he talked and like his style of comedy.
And later in the episode, you probably laugh harder than you've laughed in most episodes.
And it's vaguely about death.
So, you know, stay tuned for that.
He has been a constant force in show business for more than 30 years.
He can currently be seen in his new documentary, Howie Mandel, But Enough About Me, which is streaming on Peacock.
and he has a podcast with his daughter.
Her name's Jacqueline Schultz,
and the podcast is called Howie Mandel does stuff,
which basically is their awesome conversations
about everything from like mental health.
They both have OCD.
They make prank calls.
They talk about it.
It sounds really, really cool,
and I hope he has me on like he said he wanted to.
He judges America's Got Talent.
He also is the executive producer and host on Deal or No Deal,
and he co-hosts National Geographic Wilds Animals Doing Things with his son, Alex.
He also released his first solo special in 20 years, a couple years ago.
Howie Mandel presents Howie Mandel at the Howie Mandel Comedy Club.
He's a multiple Emmy nominee for his work in daytime.
And he recently was on the cover of People magazine talking about his incredible life
and how he has done the things that he has done living with,
pretty severe OCD. He's a germaphobe. And also anxiety, depression. He's been married for many,
many years. They have three kids. Not the result of his anxiety and depression. Not the result of his anxiety and
depression. And it sounds like he's had an amazing journey. He also is going to be a judge on the second
season of Canada's got talent. We know they do. This guy's right here. I'm going to submit myself.
And that's going to air in 2022. He's also colorblind, but I don't know that we needed to share that
with people. It's just an interesting fact. It's really a pleasure to welcome to our podcast, Howie Mandel.
Break it down. Hello. Where are you, by the way? What's the fun house behind you?
This is my little podcast studio. What are the things behind you? Is that a, you put a coin in? You get a toy?
This thing, yes. So this was, I get a show in the 90s in the late 1900s. I did a show Bobby's World on Fox. It was an
animated show. So these are the, this was in, I don't know, like a Dave and Busters or whatever.
They had a lot of merchandise. You know, I have happy meals here. This is that, this was the
Bobby character. There was like a live show that went out and they did, somebody was in that and
danced and sang. And this is just my career in toys behind me. We're really, really excited to
talk to you really about a lot of different aspects of your life. But we'll start with the most
important to Jonathan, let's talk Canada.
Are you Canadian, Jonathan?
I am. We represent here. I don't know if you can see our little tiny Canadian flag.
Oh, that's quite a representation.
This makes you seem bigger. Where are you from, Jonathan?
I'm actually from North York, and I played on the Willowdale Blackhawks, which the little
research we got sent to us says that you're from Willowdale.
I'm from Bathurst and Finch or Bathurst and Steeles. What school did you go to?
I went to York Mills High School for a couple years, and then I...
Northview, Vanier, and Newtonbrook.
Yeah, I had family at Newtonbrook.
I was at Bayview and 401,
started at Finch, around the Finch.
If you have, like if somebody has a roadmap of Canada or Ways,
if you look at Ways, this will be an interesting part of the podcast.
We're naming streets.
I went to a lot of different high schools.
Unlike you, Miami, I feel very, I don't even have a GED.
No, I don't.
Well, we were very excited to speak to.
you also from the Canadian perspective. Jonathan does represent here. I tease him about how he speaks all
the time. So that will likely happen today as well. But no, it's really a pleasure to talk to you.
I grew up, you know, knowing who you were and appreciating, loving your comedy. But I didn't realize
until I really looked at your bio, like, what an incredible career you've had. You've done so many
different kinds of things. And you really, I mean, I don't want to say reinventing because it's not
like you needed to reinvent yourself, but there are so many different aspects of you.
And you've been married a really long time. And I was like, that in and of itself,
that's amazing. So her, you know, not for me. I'm the lucky guy. She's the one that puts in all the
work and the effort. Living with me is the skill. Being me is a nightmare.
Take us back a little bit. I would like to know a bit about how you grew up and what your kind of
family life was like. Were you raised in an industry family?
Did you have siblings?
Yeah.
Tell us a little bit about sort of like,
are you a Howard who goes by Howie?
I am Howard.
You know, Howard was, I have a little bit of a PTSD about Howard.
Howard was anybody who calls me Howard was never happy with me in the moment.
Howard was, you know, admonishment, right?
It was like Howard, Howard.
And there was a lot of that more than, oh, it's Howie.
Because, you know, I grew up, I'm 66 years old.
and I grew up in a time where, and that's why I love that you're doing this podcast, you know,
and I believe there still is a great stigma attached to mental health.
But I do think that mental health is equally, if not more important than physical health.
And I believe that good mental health leads to and helps with good physical health.
They're attached.
I've actually gone and spoken on Capitol Hill to try to get insurance companies to parody the amount that they will invest in mental health.
You know, but that being said, I've had issues from the time I was born, but they were never really, I have a really good, happy family life.
Really, I don't use the word normal, but kind of relatable. I grew up in my brother and I, it's, it's, we're two siblings. I grew up in an apartment building. We shared a room.
My parents were really hard workers. Later in life, my mother became like the number one salesperson of real estate in Canada.
no aspirations to be in show business, didn't want to be in show business.
Part of the things that I personally suffer from, which is been, were diagnosed in my 40s,
are ADHD and anxiety and depression and OCD.
And I had all of those from my earliest recollections.
And they don't serve me at all.
People say, are they gifts?
If they're gifts, I'd love to return.
You know, but the thing is that.
part of the, each one of these things is the inability to, well, now I have ability.
I'm medicated and I'm under, and I have a lot of therapy.
But I don't think of ramifications.
I just kind of act on impulse and those impulses sometimes didn't serve me.
And in fact, they didn't serve me as a child.
In my home, I was loved and supported outside.
I wasn't because I think every child, you know, wants to be like everybody else.
you kind of don't want to stick out.
That's not a good thing, uniqueness.
And I wasn't the class clown.
I was a class pariah.
You know, I'd be making noises or I would stand up in the middle of class
and shout something out.
You know, my family was very much into comedy.
And as far as watching it on television,
my dad would buy albums.
And I'd hear my parents laughing in the living room.
And I wanted to be part of that.
You know, I kind of recognized that laughter was a great magnet, you know.
but I would go into the living room.
I've talked about this many times,
but I'd go into the living room
and they'd be watching a stand-up comic,
and I was four years old.
I didn't really understand anything that was being said.
If the guy was making jokes about a mother-in-law,
I didn't even know what a mother-in-law was.
I was four, you know?
And so my first kind of entree into kind of understanding
a little bit of comedy was candid camera.
Are you going to take notes?
I like to jot a little things down
because we circle back.
I'm very studious.
I love that.
It's been years since I've seen a pencil.
I think I forgot cursive as we sit here.
You could text.
But anyway, I was watching Alan Fund.
Do you know, do you know Candid Camera?
Yeah, I actually did a, I co-hosted a reboot of Candid Camera with Peter Fund.
With the son, right?
Yeah.
So I love that world.
And I think it's some of the most interesting, you know,
sociological comedy that there is. But go ahead. So the first time my parents were watching it and it was
a staple on Sunday nights in the 50s. Yeah. And even in the 60s, I remember sitting down one day and I'll
never forget this because this was like kind of changed my trajectory, my whole path, my whole life path.
I was sitting down. I was four and Alan Funt was this nice man who was sitting there kind of explaining to me
and everybody in the audience that I'm going to pretend that I'm, this is my office and I'm the
And we're going to hire a receptionist.
And I'm going to tell these ladies that they have to answer the phone.
And their one responsibility is not to miss a phone call and to take messages.
And I'm going to make that imperative.
But here's what we've done.
We tied a rope to the leg of the desk.
And every time the phone rings, when she goes to reach for the phone, it goes through the wall.
Somebody's going to pull the rope on the other side.
And the desk is going to go away and we'll see how she.
Well, that I understood, right?
that you didn't have to be. And it, that anticipation, I remember like turning around on my parents and
go, oh my God, we're all included in this. It was the best feeling in the world. It's kind of like
that feeling of like when you have, when you're making somebody a surprise party and they go,
she's coming up, she's coming up on the driveway and everybody just hide. Everybody just hide.
And so it was like this party. And then the first time, the phone rang and she went to reach for it.
And the desk went away. I mean, there was this visceral like,
laugh, all of us together, and it was the first time I was included in the laughter. And from that
moment on, with no aspirations to be a comedian or to be in show business, I've always tried to reclaim
that moment. And that moment hit on so many different levels. Number one, it was entertaining and
funny. Number two, it was relatable because even as a kid, you go, oh, my God, if I was sitting
in a room and I saw a table move away, and I didn't know it was, I think I'd be scared. So it was like
this relatability to humanity.
I mean, I'm being more articulate than I would be as a four-year-old, but I know I had all
these feelings.
And from that moment on, it was such a good feeling that I always tried to reclaim that
feeling.
But I wasn't sophisticated enough.
Maybe I was just an idiot to know that this was a television show, number one.
Number two, I don't have a television show.
Number three, I don't even have a friend or an audience.
But I'm going to do these things just because they're good.
I'm going to plan.
And I didn't have the wherewithal to even tell one other person, this is what I'm going to do.
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I've told some of the stories a little bit later on in my life, but whether it was, you know,
phoning out of the yellow pages a contracting, building contracting company and telling them,
and giving them my name.
My name's Howie Mandela.
I didn't disguise my voice or anything.
And saying, we're thinking of putting an addition onto the library, you know, and at three o'clock,
could you come out and give me an estimation, knowing because at three o'clock, I would be sitting
in math class and I could look down on the field and just me alone.
Like, it would be better.
I don't understand the psyche that I was working on.
It would be better if I said to a friend, you know, you're not going to.
believe it. I called a company. When you see the guy he's going to be measuring. I didn't tell anybody.
So now I'm sitting in math. There's a guy with a tape measure and a clipboard in the field.
I'm just, everybody's doing math. And like an insane person, I'm just giggling. I'm looking at the window and giggling at nothing.
And if the teacher asks what I'm giggling at is the guy's there. He's measuring. You know, and then you see the principal walk out to the guy.
in the field. And I know I can only imagine what that conversation is. And then I see him,
I see the guy leave and I see the principal like in a huff, go back into the office. And then you
hear over the PA system, Will Howard Mandel, please come to the office. And I go to the office.
And I'm standing there and he goes, did you call somebody to put an addition onto the library?
And I say, no. He said, well, he has your name. I go, I didn't ask him to do it. I'm getting
three estimates. And he did not laugh. And he did not laugh. And,
I just thought it was great.
I loved that discomfort, you know?
And he said, wait here and we'll call your parents.
And they called my parents.
My parents were sitting there.
And he reiterated the story to my parents.
And I could see my parents were like just biting their lip because they're supposed to discipline,
but they can see the humor in it.
You know, that was one of many, many, many, many things every day that I was doing.
That wasn't endearing me.
I wasn't the class clown.
You know, I was just this pariah, this weird little man who,
look like a little girl. I was four foot 10 years old, four foot 10 inches high. My hair was past
my, my voice hadn't changed. Girls didn't like me. I wasn't on any sports teams. You know, it was just
like, I was just this person that would do things by myself and giggle, you know, and so that didn't
get me a lot of. And then, you know, like even the other things with my OCD, I've talked about my
myosophobia, which is just the fear of germs and things. I have a younger brother when we would
fight, it was just known in the house that if he would lift the lid of the laundry hamper and hold it up,
I would scream like a little girl in run so he could win any fight. But it was just, you know,
Howie's quirky. Right. You know, how he, until I was in my 40s and my wife finally gave me an
ultimatum and said, you know, if you really, if you don't take care of yourself, if you don't go find out,
it's just really hard to live with this for everybody because I was making, you know,
I went built a guest house in case the kids had.
A cold.
Right.
Okay, wait.
So hold on.
Hold on.
I want to get to it.
I want to get to it.
But take us like, let's go from little Howie.
Did this shift in junior high in high school?
What was your experience?
This was just you.
Like this was Howie.
That was your experience.
All the way through.
So because another thing is I can't focus and I can't sit.
You know, if they allowed me because I have ADHD.
So I would get up in the middle of class and just, wow.
You know, and I'm sorry.
You know, and that sounds weird, but just a kid getting up in the class and just yelling.
or just, you know, I would do things.
And they go, who was that?
It was me.
Why'd you do that?
I go, I don't know.
I just, I just, I can't sit anymore.
And they go, sit down or go to the office.
So, and I'm really, that's why I'm fascinated by you.
You know, I love math and science.
Math and science to me are like doing puzzles.
And I was really good.
I'm still really good in math.
You know, I didn't get to go far enough in science.
When it, before I graduated, you know, I got thrown out of that school with the contractor.
They put me in another high school.
I put another high school I got thrown out.
I got thrown out three different high schools before my GED.
I was incredibly depressed.
I was, again, like five feet tall.
I got a job in a carpet warehouse.
All my friends went on.
They were still in school.
They went to college.
I didn't have anybody.
I'll let you ask the questions.
But I got thrown out of school.
So now not only did I not have friends, I was living.
I was on a different life path than anybody else.
And what did your dad do?
You mentioned your mom eventually got into real estate.
My dad was in sales. My dad was like an entrepreneur who did well. You know, when I was little, he was a car salesman. And then he became a, he was in the stock market. And then the last thing is he bought a club, a bar and a hotel in Stratford, Ontario, Canada. And Stratford, Ontario, Canada is famous in North America for the Royal Shakespearean Festival. My dad was really into counter-programming and he opened a strip bar across the street.
and I would go sometimes.
But he had a sense of humor.
I remember, like, the headlining act was Princess Glow,
who was a 350-pound naked woman who would take a bubble bath in a giant champagne glass,
and she'd be soaking wet and soaked up,
and then she'd climb not so gracefully out of the cup
and walk around the room and drop her giant wet breasts on bald men's heads.
Your father was an entrepreneur.
That's what that word is for.
people. Yeah, I don't know what that is, but I saw that. I never saw any, I didn't see any of Shakespeare. That's the only play I was able to see in, but, when did you sort of begin to forge your own path as a comedian? How did that happen? So I went in, in the late 70s, in the mid, in the mid 70s, disco was all the rage. And I wasn't, that's like the height of studio 54 in New York. And, and, as I told you, I didn't play sports. So I didn't, I couldn't go to the Y once a week and get a basketball game with,
friends. I don't gamble so I didn't have a poker game or cards. I don't really drink, so I didn't
go to the clubs and dance. I had nothing. They opened a club called Yuck Yucks in Toronto. And that was
around the same time as Catch a Rising Star and the comedy store open. And somebody said, one night,
you want to go to the comedy club? And I said, okay, I'd never been to a stand-up comedy club.
I wasn't part of Second City and I'd never been to anything like that. And I went to the comedy
Club. And it was the first time where I saw, I'd never seen, aside from on the Johnny Carson
show, I'd never watch stand-up comedy. But there were people that were like my age and from the,
they seemed like near-do wells who were willing to share, you know, their, their experiences and
the related, and it was fun. It was a fun night. And somebody, and then at the end of the night,
Mark Breslin, who owned the place, and it was the MC, came out and said, you know, we also have
after midnight, if you think that you have what it takes to do this, we have. We have.
an amateur night and and uh who wants to do it and somebody at the table went you should get up howie
and i went okay because i always do i always say okay and still to this day and that's my
philosophy which we'll talk about a little later but it's also without any thought of ramifications
you know this is before i formed uh kind of a life path but but i i just said okay and without any thought
i didn't prepare i didn't i didn't want to be a comedian i didn't think about it and what did you
think you wanted to do in life? Like at that time in your life, if we would have said,
what do you want to do? I don't have a thought. I don't have a thought of what I want to do
tomorrow. Got it. You know, and I still don't have that. It's just, I just live. Try to live in the
now because my mind is so, can I swear on the here? Yeah, yeah. My life is so fucked up. I mean,
my head that I'm always worried about what might happen. I'm always second guessing what did happen.
And I'm just so worried.
And I live in my resting state is terror.
So if things happen in the moment, I just like to live in the moment.
And if I thought of any joke, it was just in that moment.
I was going to get up on stage.
And if there was a joke, the joke was somebody was going to introduce Howie Mandel.
And there's no reason for Howie Mandel to be on the stage.
And if anybody from my school is in the audience or anybody that knew me from before,
it's just the moment.
So what happened?
So you get up there.
I get up.
He goes, ladies and gentlemen, Howie Mandel,
I'd never been on a stage before.
And I hit the stage, you know, with my arms out.
And I've never been on a stage.
And the spotlight is it blind you.
You've been on the stage.
It just blind me.
I've never been in that kind of.
And I look, I could smell the microphone,
the shitty beer breaths, you know.
And then, you know, within 30 seconds or 20 seconds,
the applause dies down.
And I'm standing there in quiet.
And I'm looking.
looking down. I could see people in the front row looking up at me, like the strangers like going,
okay, okay. And then I remember it's sheer fucking terror, just terror. I'm just, it's like that
dream where you show up at a party in your underpants. I kind of, without any thought,
was displaying the terror out loud. I would go, okay, okay, all right. And if you watch my old
videos of old how, that's just terror with nothing to back it up. So I would go, okay, all right, okay,
Okay, and I was just trying to think of things.
And they started giggling at my discomfort.
And when they were giggling, I was also got very self-conscious.
So I'd go, I'd go, what, what?
No, tell me what.
And say things like, please don't laugh.
It's throwing me off, like, which got bigger laughs, right?
And then I put my hands in my pocket, and I told you, I suffered from OCD and
myosophobia.
I didn't want to touch things.
I always had rubber gloves with me because if I went out, I'd have to go to a public
restroom.
I didn't want to touch anything.
And I pulled out a rubber glove and I go, look, I didn't have anything.
Look, that was it.
I had a rubber glove and the way you're looking at me right now and going, what fuck is that?
And so I don't know what came over me except the glove.
I pulled the glove on my head and I pulled it down beyond my nose.
And I started breathing and the fingers were going up and down, up and down.
And people were laughing even more.
And I blew it up.
And it popped off my head.
And the whole audience applauded.
And I went, good night.
And I ran off.
In the hallway, Mark comes up to me.
He goes, that was amazing.
You got to come back tomorrow.
And I went, for what?
And he goes to do comedy.
I go, what am I going to do?
He goes, do the same thing.
I go, what did I do?
And I started showing up at yukyaks, you know, and it was, that was my respite.
That was a thing.
Nothing, the most comfortable place on earth for me, even to this day, is on stage at a comedy club.
And because nothing keeps me in the moment, the only place I'm comfortable, I'm,
I'm in the moment. I can't worry about what's going to happen two minutes from now. I only worry about what I'm saying in that second, right? That really makes me the most present. It's kind of like my analogy is like on a roller coaster. I love thrill rides because it does the same thing. The scarier it is, the closer to death you think you're going to become. And the adrenaline runs. You're not thinking about what you did yesterday. You're not thinking about what might happen tomorrow as you go on that death drop. And that is exhilarating. That is it pumps adrenaline.
And you feel alive and you feel otherwise quiet is not good for me.
In those early days, in those early shows, tell us a little bit about the process.
Like, did you start writing for them?
Did you show up the next time?
And it was just like that in the moment.
Did you realize, hey, this is my schick?
Like, when did it sort of click in that you weren't just sort of totally winging it?
Or did you just continue to totally wing it?
Well, even to this day, you know, winging it is my favorite thing to do.
So obviously, you know, I knew that if I blew the rubber,
glove up. That would be the closing. So I always closed with a rubber glove or, you know,
I had this voice that I did, which eventually became Bobby and Gizmo and Gremlins and things like that.
That was me, that was from me choking on a piece of cake and it was halfway down my throat.
You know, and I knew that that was the, you know, if I did those things, there were crowd pleasers,
if not, but the best thing for me, even today, if there's a technical glitch, if something happens in the
moment and I'm taken off that path, those are the best moments for me. And I don't mind,
you know, the terror of quiet or having an audience turn on me. And if I could just claw myself
back to acceptance, then I feel like that's the most fun. So it wasn't like I sat down and
I don't have the discipline that like Seinfeld has to sit down and write and create and sit there
like it's a job. All my writing is basically done on stage in the moment, but after 45 years,
I have a plethora of stuff that I know that wins and could get it and people want to hear it again
or they want to hear the voice. But my favorite moments that I constantly go for is trouble,
that I know that is unique to that moment in that time. Did you bomb in those early days?
Like did you, because I'm sort of fascinated now. I bomb, yes, but I don't mind it. I do. I'll get a corporate
gig and, you know, try something. And it, I like those moments of bombing. I tell a, there's a story where,
you know, you always focus on the harder, you know, standing in front of an audience. I remember
being at Radio City Musical and just killing, just killing. And once you start killing, you're on a
role. You know, it's kind of easy. You know what I mean? You get a rhythm and they're all laughing.
They laugh at everything you do, even though each thing you say is not, it doesn't really deserve that.
but I had the audience, except for one guy up front who wasn't focused on me, wasn't looking at me, wasn't really responding.
And I don't know why.
For whatever reason, I ruined the rhythm of the moment.
And I just went to stop for a second.
Everybody.
The fuck is what this.
There's this idiot in the front row.
He hasn't made any eye contact with me.
He's not looking at me.
The fuck is your problem.
And the lady beside him goes, he's blind.
And I repeated, you know, because.
because the whole audience, the 7,000, I went, he's blind, and you could hear the, the joy being
sucked out of the room. My, my heart dropped into my stomach. You know, I just ruined. I go,
this is like, I guess this is the, whatever the opposite of comedy gold was, this moment,
like shit in your pants as far as in front of 7,000 people. And then, you know, there I was,
and I'd ruin the moment, and the moment was ruined. But then I kind of,
just became that knee-jerk guy who just does what's on his mind. And I said, I said,
let me ask one question. Listen, I'm not making fun. You, I want to ask a question. Why?
Why the fuck would you buy a blind person front row seats? You could put this idiot in the balcony.
Tell him it's in the front row, but no, I got you good. You could lie. What the fuck are you doing?
And that got the audience back.
And that's kind of like that that's kind of emblematic of the kind of moments that I hope and pray for.
Not that I purposely will do something, but when it's real.
Yeah.
And that's why I love pranking because there, for me, that feeling of awkwardness, of being out of place, out of fear, of somebody being annoyed is so much better than I don't like jokes.
When somebody comes up to me and says, I want to tell you a joke.
and they say two guys walked into the bar.
Well, they didn't.
Nobody walked into the bar.
You don't know what happened.
You're just making up a story and pretend isn't funny to me.
I like reality and I like to be able to relate to it.
But if somebody's in that kind of, I don't think it's mean either.
I think that I would probably go along, you know, to watch terror in somebody's eyes for a moment,
to walk into a dry cleaner with a shirt soaked in blood going, can I get this done in
an hour. And if the cops come in, please don't tell them, give them any of my information,
you know, and they think that they're an accessory to a murder and explain to me why they don't
want to do my shirt. I don't need an audience. You know, a lot of comedians say if they could just
make one person laugh, they're doing their job. For me, it just has to be me. What was it like for you
to try and date? What hell? Yeah, I want to know, I want to know about it. Because like,
I'll give an example on my wife, on the first date I had with my wife, I had a reputation.
You know, and I pursued it for a long time before she would even agree to go out with me.
And I'm from Toronto, Canada, and I took her on the date.
The first time I dated her, I borrowed my mom's car.
And I remember it was a cutlass, a 1967 cutlass or something.
And it's the middle of the winter.
And I got her in the car.
We were going to a movie or something.
and I made a left turn and I hit an ice patch and the car started spinning, spinning like crazy.
And then we hit the center aisle and the car went up on its side and was about to turn over.
But just as it did, just as it was about to turn over, it fell back and fell back on the wheels.
I got to tell you that I thought I was this close to death and I was really close.
I almost cried.
I was going to cry.
And my wife turned to me.
She wasn't my wife.
She was the girl I was dating at the point at the time.
She looked at me and she goes, very funny.
It's not a joke.
She goes, I know you.
You're always doing crazy shit.
I go, no, I swear to you.
This is, I didn't, I wouldn't, this is not.
So, like, that was the reputation that preceded me.
If I, if a girl would say, okay, and then her parents knew that she was going to go out with me,
they would discourage her or they had to meet me someplace else.
so parents wouldn't see me.
I had like the worst reputation.
And I swear to you, I'm a good person.
I am.
But I couldn't control.
There was no, I couldn't control my, my behavior.
So you continued dating, said woman.
And did you kind of have an awareness at that time over kind of your quirks?
Or was it really, I mean, you got married.
Like, was there, when did you sort of start digging into more about the things about,
you that maybe weren't so acceptable to other people? She did. I didn't. For me, you know,
and even now, you know, there are so many people that, because I use it in my humor, you know,
when you see this two masks of theater, you know, tragedy and comedy, they're very, there's,
there's very little difference between all comedy comes out of tragedy, comes out of darkness.
You know, even if you're at the circus and you laugh at a clown falling down, what are you
laughing at. You're laughing at the misfortune of somebody you don't know. You know, a pie in the face. You're laughing at
somebody getting messed up. Things that would probably ruin most people's evening in the room in time. So,
you know, humor always comes out of darkness. That's why this is a really dark time for comedy because we're in a
dark time, but God forbid, you know, you say anything. There's no such thing in my mind. There's no such thing
is too soon. No such thing is, you know, if that's what gets you through, if I'm not laughing, I promise you,
I'm crying. So that's my, you know, panacea to make it. So, but that was my, that's who I was.
You know, my humor and my quirkiness were, you know, part of the, you know, the palette that I am.
So what it was, nobody really talked about it as much as just accepted it. What happened was with my
wife and eventually three children and now my grandchildren is she realized that,
this is really tough and this is she got more educated on it and said you know this is a problem
I'm making I'm making putting the onus on my wife and my children you know don't touch that now wash
your hands no you can't go you know I got a million funny stories hysterical stories that I get
but they're not really hysterical if you you know if you break them down it's really it was me
suffering but she kind of she goes I'm just getting tired of doing this watching this
removing this, not getting this, not being able to order this, giving back the food,
leaving the restaurant. You know, like it's just, it's a lot of work, Howie. I can't do this
anymore. I'm tired. I wore her down. She just said, I can't do this. And when I went to therapy,
wait, had you ever been to therapy before? No one ever said go to, no, you were just operating in life,
just happy as a clam or not happy as a clam, but you had never been in therapy.
I was miserable. I spent a lot of time miserable. My resting mood is misery. It really
is. So I'd never been before. And what she taught me is she goes, listen, Howie, you know,
you spend a good part of your energy trying to control everything around you and making people
try to live in your world. You know, nobody has to live in your world. You have to figure out how
to live in everybody else's world. The only person you really have control over is yourself.
You know, your happiness has to come or your contentment or it only comes from within you.
you know, it's not about, you know, what other people think of you.
It's not about how people act around you.
It's you, you know.
So that's what I've been continually for the last 20-some-odd years working on.
Did that land for you when you first heard it?
Yeah.
Yeah, because the biggest effort, because I'm tired at the end of the day, is it's about control,
you know, controlling the people around me, controlling what you do,
controlling how you eat, controlling what you pick up, controlling how close you stand to me,
controlling what, you know, and the dichotomy between what I fell into in life, this business,
and how I felt about it. Like, I'm not a people person. I'm not comfortable around crowds. I'm not
comfortable around humanity. I'm really not. But, you know, I'm in show business, which, you know,
the average person, if they bump into, you know, six people a week, that's a lot. They go to whatever
job they have and they go home and they see their family and then how many times are you around
people in the course of any given week, whether it's audiences, I'm around thousands, thousands
of people a week. You know, it's my biggest fear is is kind of unfolding each and every moment
of my life in front of me. I think you actually did an episode of Big Bang Theory when I was on.
I don't think I was in the scene. I feel like it was the season finale of like, I don't know,
five or six, but I remember that there was conversation about like, you know, people,
like don't go up to him, don't try and hug him, like give him his space. I remember this
conversation about it. But I do have a question. This isn't like to put you on the spot because I
completely, I feel like you're such a, no, no, no, but you're so articulate about your experience.
So it's not like I'm trying to like catch you. But a lot of people who listen to our podcast and a lot of
the feedback we get and, you know, kind of, you know, a lot of what my experience was, you know,
for example, with depression and things like that, there's a level of misery that you describe.
and, you know, you did a really, really brave article with People Magazine and you talk about this in detail.
But I guess what I'm curious about, can you tell us a little bit about what it's like or what it was like for you to be you and also still find joy, meaning you got married, you had children, like you had more than one child?
Was that were all of those things hard all along?
And was it your wife that kind of kept the ship going?
Do you know what I mean? Okay. Yeah. Can you talk a little bit about that?
I will. And still even today, that's what it is. I've told you my resting mood is still misery.
And I believe that success in life, you know, and I talk about this a lot. People go, how do I make it?
Like how do I become successful? And ultimately, and I truly believe this from at this point of my life, you know, it's not, fame isn't something that's going to bring you any happiness, notoriety, money.
none of that brings happiness.
When you have a moment of,
I'm just looking to be content for one moment at a time.
I just want to be happy or passionate about one moment at a time.
And that's all you need.
And, you know, when I found stand-up comedy,
and I remember the day like yesterday,
it was April 19th, 1978.
That's the dare to get up on stage.
You know, and that day, Terry was with me,
and we went to a Chinese restaurant.
I have the fortune cookie, and it says, you know,
tonight your light path will change.
And I have it.
I have it in a book.
I put it in my book.
I did my...
And the fact that I have that,
if I didn't have anything today,
if I wasn't on any television show
or I wasn't doing stand-up...
As long as I can go once a week
to a comedy club,
even if nobody knew who I was,
that's really enough for me.
That's the biggest, you know,
safety net, I have for myself. I would look forward to standing on stage and doing that.
Nobody is happy. So success is, which makes me unhappy in life, is find something, something,
one little iota of something that you're passionate about. And no matter what you're suffering with,
it is, I believe that one of the biggest coping skills in life is distraction. You know, and if you can
distract yourself for that moment and get away, like, can you imagine that most of the world,
wakes up each and every day and we hear about hump day, you know, which is the connotation is
it's Wednesday and you're halfway through the week of doing all the shit that you hate doing,
showing up to a place you don't want to go, being with the people you don't care about,
just to get to Friday where you're just not doing that shit. It's not even like anything great
is going to happen on Friday and Saturday. You know, it's just to stop. We live in a world
where, you know, it's kind of normal to be unhappy, to not,
give yourself the gift, the passion.
No matter how successful, no matter how famous you get,
I promise you in two decades,
nobody's going to know your name.
You know, I have grandchildren now.
They're not really familiar with the Beatles, you know,
and you couldn't be bigger than, you know,
but it no matter how,
so it's nothing, you'll never achieve a level of something
where you're going to go, oh, you know,
everybody is just as famous and just as rich in the graveyard.
So we have this little short path of time,
and we've got to figure out how to enjoy a moment, a moment in life.
So I'm always striving to kind of just be content.
So there's something, and I don't know if this will make it, but I have to ask it,
because one of the things that I most remember about knowing about you was that you were Jewish.
And, you know, my parents are first generation Americans, and, you know, they grew up in the Bronx.
in the 19th. They were both born during World War II. And you're kind of this like, you're an in-between
generation, meaning you're not as old as my parents, but you're older than me, like enough if my
parents had me, let's say, when I was young. Your parents did have you when you were young.
Well, sorry, I meant if my parents had had me younger, they would have been, never mind.
One of the things, though, that I do remember about you was knowing, like, this is a very,
like, this is a comedian who's, and I don't even,
even know if there was something specific attached to it. I just had this knowledge that, like,
you were this, like, you know, kind of representative of so much of Jewish comedy. I'm very
proud of my Judaism. You know, I also was raised on, like, Jackie Mason and, like, very classic,
like, Borsch Belt. And then on the other hand, I was raised on, you know, the Woody Allen,
which was very, you know, culturally Jewish, but not religious and not, you know, very, like, Yiddishy.
but there's this kind of notion to a lot of the things about you that do resonate very deeply
with a certain kind of, you know, post-immigrant sort of experience.
And this notion of if you don't laugh, you'll cry, or, you know, if you don't laugh,
you'll cry, and this sort of notion that we're in a constant state of vigilance, you know.
And it's something that we've talked about that, you know, anxiety tends to run very high,
you know, in certain communities and the Jewish community is one of them.
and there is an aspect of hypervigilance that is a survival mechanism.
So I kind of wonder, you know, if you feel that there's kind of, you know, a Jewishness to your style of comedy, to your style of thinking, or how that kind of factors in.
Well, I think culturally we are probably to our own detriment, incredibly self-aware.
That's why there's a lot of Jewish comedians.
We, you know, Jackie Mason is one of my favorites all time.
You know, we poke fun at our culture.
And, you know, you sit around a table of Jews, and you'll know if there's 10 Jews at a table, you will be familiar with one of them's bowel movements in the last two weeks.
You know, this is something Jews share that other people don't share.
And it's probably better not to share.
So that's, but I've always been, I'm not a, I don't like organized religion, to be honest with you.
But I do like the teaching.
You know, I wasn't really, I was raised conservative.
But, you know, I lost my father in the 80s and it destroyed me.
And in order to show, I thought, respect for him, I decided, if you're not Jewish and you're listening, we have the thing where you say, Kaddish.
And every day and every morning and every night, you do a prayer for the dead.
And in order to do this prayer to show respect for the person that has passed, you have to get what is called a minion.
And that is, you need 10 other Jews or you need nine other Jews to.
in order to say the prayer. You can't even say the prayer alone. Everything is a, is a, has to be
catered when you're Jewish. So you need more than you. So, um, you know, and as a stand-up comic,
I was touring that summer and or that year. I never missed a day. I did it because I knew my father
would be proud. It wasn't something that I, that I would have done, but I wanted to make my father
proud of me. He loved my act. And so when they negotiated all the deals for me to go out and do these
tours every night, number one, I couldn't start before sundown. I couldn't, because you have to
be there and say these prayers before sundown or at sundown. And they had to find me. Nine Jews?
Yeah. And, you know, it's not like I'm not, I don't, most of touring is not always New York and
L.A. I said Kaddish for a year and I found myself in all sorts of places where I was often,
I thought the only Jew in the whole city. Right. So I thought it would have been a great documentary. So I
would be like in the, you know, Alabama someplace and they would have to find me and sometimes
they couldn't find so that they would find out. They'd look at the obituaries and there was going to be
a funeral that day and I'd go to, I'd go to a funeral. I'd go to somebody's funeral and then I'd
be back to their house and then they would send, put a carrying in a bag and send me off to do they
didn't get away and I'd go do this. But every day I, uh, when you do this, uh, the rabbi who was
ever officiating the, uh, the ceremony does some teaching.
from the Talmud. And I got really kind of inspired by the teachings. And the teachings of the
Talmud, and this is what I truly believe, I'm not espousing this on anybody who's listening,
but whether you believe in God or not, you've got to believe that there is a power, whether that
power be science or whatever, there's a power greater than us. The fact that if you've ever had a
child, you go, oh, my God, this is a miracle. How does this even happen? And it's like,
How are cells multiplying? How is humanity ever? You probably know, this is neuroscience. But, but,
you know, in order to, whatever this is, this universe is, it is a power greater than any one of us.
And we must respect that power. And that is what I believe in. I respect that power. Whatever you
want to name that, if you want to name it, God, if you want to name it, Jesus, I do respect that
there is something greater than you and me out there. And not only that, and, you know, they
always go, the chosen people. I go, I don't believe in that kind of, I don't think one part of
humanity is chosen over another, but we as human beings are chosen to be there for other people.
I will talk a little Jewish. There is something in Judaism that's called Sadaka.
And Sadaka is the ability to give, to be charitable without taking credit for it, which,
you know, I don't think many Jews live by because if you've ever been in the gold sting,
of your temple, that's exactly the opposite of what Sadaka is. You know, you don't want to,
you don't want to, you don't want to, you don't want to, for what you've done. But what I truly
believe is that as a human being, if in your periphery, you see somebody in need, you need
to reach out. You need to give. That is your duty as a human being. And all the practices of
Judaism, like my kids didn't want to read or learn for their bar and bat mitzvahs. And they go,
why do I have to do that? And I go, listen, the reason you have to do it, I,
I don't care if you don't understand any of the words. This is just my philosophy. I don't care
if you don't understand any of the word. This is in our religion where they delineate, that's why
most bar mitzvists say, today I'm a man. This is where they delineate between childhood and
adulthood or the time to be responsible. If as a child, you know, you go, we've all had this
as his parents. The kid walks in the room and goes, why is that man fat? You're saying horrible
things of maybe hurting people's feelings, but you go, oh, it's a child. He said something
embarrassing. At 12 and 13 years old, that's no longer an excuse. At this point, you have to be a
responsible human being. And as being a responsible human being, your presence on this earth,
people should be better for knowing you. People should be helped because you're here. People should
be, and that's also on the day, we have the most holy day is called yom Kippur. On Yom Kippur, what you
should do is even if it's, it's not about fasting or saying, for me, not about fasting and single
Every human should take a day and say, you know what, I've made some mistakes this year.
I've got to be aware of those mistakes.
And how can I grow as a human being?
I want to be better next year than I am today.
So, you know, it's called Judaism.
I don't go to temple.
I'm not kosher.
I don't, I just want my kids to be really good human beings.
And, you know, I think along the lines of the teaching of the Talmud and the teaching in Judaism,
that's a good kind of path to follow parallel with.
I'm not on the path, but I think as a human being,
I just want to, if I see that you need help and I can help you,
I don't have to know you.
I believe I should.
It is my duty and my responsibility to help you.
And to just try to be the best human being I can be.
And in this path to do that, I just try to be content.
I just want to not be miserable.
You know, with all the years of therapy under your belt
and I know you've spoken about that you do believe and use medication.
What would you say are kind of the main differences that you experience in your life?
Because I actually have OCD as well.
And so there are a lot of things that shift in change,
and there are certain things medication can touch,
and there are certain things medication can't touch.
Also, the topic of my thesis, my doctoral thesis,
was obsessive-compulsive disorder in a particular population of individuals.
So it's a topic that's really special to me for many reasons.
reasons, but I'd like to know kind of what your experience is, what are the significant differences
you see, either in your OCD or in how you deal with it, or in kind of your general mental
health since being in therapy. Well, it's just about, and this is what I would say to anybody
who's listening, it's just about being open and malleable to recognizing that this is
an issue and being willing to be open to whatever coping mechanism. You know, even with medication,
I'm not a proponent of medication. I'm a proponent of doing whatever it takes to allow you to be more
productive and to be able to survive. So, you know, there's been times when I've been
medicated for two, three years and then whatever my body chemistry has changed or, and then it's not
working. And then I try a new medication, which has helped somebody else. And I slide down the darkest
hole you can ever imagine sliding down. And then I find that, you know, for a couple of years,
it was running. I needed to run, you know, whatever. I would run 10 miles every single day until I,
my ankle is like worn to nothing. And I was feeling the pain, but I needed that for my head. But that
was a coping skill. So whether it's meditation, whether it's exercising, whether it's just talking about it,
whether it's whatever it is, I'm open.
And I also know that it's not something that there is a cure for.
You know, I'm just doing the best I can today.
I can't tell you that tomorrow won't be a horror show.
And the medication that I'm on today will not have any effect on it.
You know, your body chemistry, your hormones, everything is constantly, you know, this was your thesis.
I know nothing about it.
I'm just talking to you, you know, just from personal experience.
it's the thing that gets me through is openness and open to just you know to different solutions and
different ideas and if somebody told me a different idea today I'd be open to try that I'll try
anything my can you know being being strapped with this you know that I know I know you know
but I don't know how many people have come up to you and go I got a little bit of the OCD people
People love saying that to me, and I get really annoyed with it when they're like, I like my shoes lined up.
I'm so OCD.
I'm that annoying person who both as a neuroscientist and someone who has OCD says, that's actually not OCD.
It may be.
But stacking your shoes is not evident.
No, but they, you know, the average person is, you know, who doesn't, who likes germs?
Right.
Who?
I actually don't mind germs.
This is a feature of me.
I was thinking about this today.
I was to say something really gross that might gross you out.
Mr. Mandel. You know your
AirPod case? You know
how they build up an enormous amount of earwax?
My children have never
cleaned theirs and I kid you not.
I was just like, give me your cases. And they were like,
ew, don't. Doesn't even bother me.
Cleaned them right out. It gave me great pleasure.
But that's not my issue either.
The point is that, you know,
what I try to explain the people is
with OCD, OCD for
me, or whether there are rituals
or obtrusive thoughts or whatever that I get,
and you obviously get them too,
that totally stop my life.
When I am suffering in the midst of whatever issue I'm dealing with,
I can't deal with life.
I've missed appointments.
I've missed productions.
It stops my fucking life.
And I understand why somebody like Howard Hughes ended his life.
At the end of his life.
he was naked in the fetal position,
pissing into a bottle.
And I tell people,
you'd have no idea how many times in my life
I am that close to that.
And it's not a joke.
But as a comedian,
and you're also kind of thought of
as very lighthearted.
Right.
Well, you know.
No?
I sometimes, a lot of people think I'm,
well, I think it's different.
I think when women are...
I think you've been involved in comedies.
No, I consider myself a comedian.
I really do.
But I think, you know, there's a lot of things
that I think also when,
when women say them, it's taken different than when men do.
And we each have our own path and our own experience.
And, you know, hearing somebody while I have OCD too doesn't make me more comfortable in my life.
Exactly.
And I don't know why they're telling me that.
And I always say, I hope you're exaggerating.
I hope you don't because I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
Yeah.
I really do suffer.
You know, and I'm not looking for pity.
Sure.
there isn't anybody in life that doesn't have, you know, some cross to bear.
Coming from a Jew, that means a lot.
And, you know, we all have our issues and things are harder for one than harder for another.
But it's worth it.
You know, it's worth the fight.
It's worth the struggle.
But it is a fight.
It is a struggle.
Life is a struggle.
Right now, the last couple of years, I think most of the world has been going through a fight
and a struggle.
You know, people have been making jokes about me because I'm the germaphobe and they go,
you called it. And I go, well. You're like, I can handle this global pandemic. I am on it.
This has been horrible for me. Yes. What can we, I mean, your, your bio, you do so many amazing things,
you host so many amazing things, you produce so many amazing things. You have a podcast with your
daughter. What would you like to sort of prominently plug before we let you go?
My podcast with my daughter. I do this thing called Howie Mandel does stuff. And that was a coping
mechanism. So my daughter who also, you know, a lot of this is genetic, who,
also suffers like myself or like herself.
And she was locked away for two years.
I mean, she didn't leave the house with her kids.
She has two kids.
And so we used to phone each other.
And I'd sit on the phone with her for hours.
And we would do everything to distract herself,
whether it was call friends and we would all discuss or make prank calls,
you know,
and just to distract ourselves or just goof around
and have weird conversations about the news of the day.
And my wife walked in one day and said, what are you, what are you doing?
And I just said, I'm just been on the phone for two hours with Jackie.
And she said, you should record it.
It sounds, some of it sounds funny.
And that became our podcast.
It's called Howie Mandel does stuff.
It's with my daughter.
We have, I'd love to have you on.
I would love to come on.
All right.
So I will, I'll hitch up for that.
I would love that.
And, you know, we do once a week, we do a podcast.
We have friends.
It's just goofy.
Yeah.
It's unlike yours is much more, there's much more.
Ravitas and probably does good. I don't know that we do any good except we just have a really
good time and we're enjoying ourselves. Like I even, there was a podcast company that wanted to do my
podcast. I went with them and then there was there was too many restrictions. We don't even have,
I don't have sponsors. I don't have anything. We're just doing it out of the love of doing it.
Awesome. Make Mime have some fun. I have a lot of fun. How we have one question. Do you still do
is this about Canada? No. Do you still do pranks that are only for yourself? All the time.
I make phone calls.
If all every day, every time I get a spam call, you know, with my cars warranty,
an extended warranty or I've won Marriott points.
My new little self-indulgment is trying to keep them on the line as long as possible.
I want to hear that recording alone.
I've recorded a bunch of those.
But I don't even play them.
I don't put them on.
I just do it all the time.
I feel, I don't know.
There's something about being able to.
to manipulate another person for good, you know, just for, it's just fun.
They're annoying me with their phone call at 7 in the morning.
My record now is 55 minutes.
I've kept somebody on for 50.
Just trying to get them to spell their name because I'm writing it down really slowly.
I was a huge Phil Hendry fan and also Jerky.
I was, I mean, I was, I don't know.
I'm sure he's been canceled, but that was some of my favorite stuff.
That and the Jerky Boys.
So, yeah, really, really, that's good stuff.
Anyway.
If you're up for it, you can come and do a prank with us.
I'm told my voice is very distinctive, so.
I would love that we should record it.
We'll release it as a special edition.
One of the things that's missing from your psychiatric profile, which is very present in
mine, and I'm always comparing and despairing, is I have a tremendous social anxiety
problem, meaning I can't, I don't have the kind of freedom that it sounds like you find.
No, I'll tell you something. If I'm on stage, if we're doing this podcast, I have freedom.
No, no, no. I mean, like, if I go on a, like, improv makes me cry in a way that's not healthy or fun.
Like, I feel, I don't know what you're improv, but I, but then the pressure's on, you know, it's like I will not go to, I don't go to parties.
I don't go to, you know, I can't, I can't carry on a conversation.
Yeah.
I can't carry on a conversation.
Well, that's why I bring this guy.
In my mind, I'm, you know, if I talk to somebody, I bored them to death.
I'm coming off like an idiot.
Yeah, I don't like that.
Funny and I can't think of anything.
And it kills me.
And then I go home or I make an excuse or I'm out.
I have social anxiety.
I have horrible, horrible depression.
I have everything.
I mean, we're not, look at two Jews.
I was going to say, it's like a contest and you want to win.
I want to win, okay?
Okay, we're going to let you go.
Howie Mandel, thank you so much.
This was really a pleasure.
Absolutely. Take care. Be well.
Nice to meet you.
Your father's Nisham I should have an Aaliyah.
I like Howie Mandel a lot.
And I do remember when he was on Big Bang Theory.
It was like this big deal of like, he's coming.
He doesn't want to touch anyone.
I could have talked to him for another hour.
I had so many questions about germophobia, which is distinct from OCD.
It can be a feature of OCD.
It's one of the things that can happen in OCD,
but not all germaphobes have OCD,
and not all people with OCD are germophobes.
I would have talked to him for a lot longer.
Because you're Canadian.
We didn't show her on this,
but he stayed on afterwards,
and he was asking you questions,
which not many guests do.
No, and I was actually thinking,
this is the kind of person I wish would ask me about myself.
I want to talk to him.
Do you think you're like Bev, where you thought it,
and then it happened?
Like she sees her.
I accepted Howie Mandel to ask how I am.
I think that might happen.
You know, it's really,
there's that word again.
Like, it's really brave to be like,
here are all the things about me that are clinically diagnosed
and that I have to be in therapy and take medication for.
Like, and he said he was really nervous that nobody would hire him.
And, you know, I envy his kind of lack of, you know,
fear about feedback, you know?
Like, he's so, I don't want to say impulsive,
but he really just like, he acts, he does things.
And I, even though he says he's not,
doesn't have a lot of, like, what do you say, force sight or, or, what's the,
opposite. Hindsight. Or hindsight. I found him very thoughtful. You know, he's very thoughtful
about the way he approaches his mental health. And it's just an amazing story, you know,
to make those kinds of changes after so many years of just like getting by, you know,
I think that's really, that's incredible. I find it really inspiring. Maybe I'll finally change.
Just kidding. The story of his first stand-up performance and him being like, what,
Tell, like being so engaged with the audience.
Number one, I think that would just do.
I can see the reenactment in the 70s.
It's smoke-filled downtown Toronto and yuck-yucks.
But also.
Tell us about downtown Toronto and yuck yuck yuck.
You laughed harder at the funeral minion story in Alabama.
And that whole Jewish tint then I think you have in all of the podcast we've done so far.
I mean, that's that that.
I mean, first of all.
all just like as someone who said cottage for my father and did have to try and find a
minion also imagine being a woman where in many places you are not even counted as one of
the ten so um i remember i was in savannah georgia and i called ahead of time to try and find
a place you know that would that had a regular minion and that's the thing is that reform and
conservative synagogues often don't have a daily minion but orthodox ones always do so um that
that's the place that I could most rely.
So I just, I know that struggle and I just love the idea, you know, that that's the way to
find Jews is like find out if there's a funeral and there's your minion.
I love that he just says, okay.
I mean, I wanted to make the joke that that's how we got on this podcast.
We just asked him and he said yes.
And he's like, what am I doing here?
That's kind of how we do a lot of things, you and me.
That's how Matthew McConaughey got on the podcast.
He just said, all right.
Who are these people?
We don't know.
Well, it was really very special.
again, you know, to get to meet someone
who I really did grow up, you know,
knowing as an icon.
And it is a really big deal.
You know, he was one of the first Jewish comedians
that wasn't 86 years old that I knew about.
And yeah, just really, really awesome.
And he does so many things.
He's on all the shows.
He hosts the things and America's got talent.
And then he produced it.
And deal or no deal.
Like he does so many things.
And this podcast, I can't wait to listen.
That just sounds incredible.
And I'm going to make my kids listen
and be like,
One day you'll do a podcast with me.
I love the fact that his parents were laughing in the principal's office at the prank.
I bet his parents were awesome.
That's the thing is like other parents would be like trying to change him and that his parents were just like trying to control their laughter.
Surprise you didn't compare getting kicked out of school stories.
I never got kicked out of school.
I left school.
You dumped them before they could dump you.
Exactly.
Do we haven't asked Miami anything?
We certainly do.
Ask my am anything.
Yeah.
Betsy W.
Can you meditate yourself out of a mental illness?
Well, Betsy, that's a good question.
Lord knows I've tried.
No?
Mental illness is not something that we typically think of as kind of you getting rid of.
There are ways to manage the symptoms of a mental illness.
You know, meditation is one of those things that certain kinds of meditation can help, you know,
activate aspects of your nervous system that will ultimately be able to calm you down and help you
lower your baseline anxiety. You know, meditation has many physical benefits, psychological benefits.
I think of meditation as kind of a supportive treatment. It's something to add to your toolbox
and is how he spoke about, like being open to like anything and learning different kind of
things that might work. Meditation is now, you know, kind of prescribed.
along with a lot of therapy for depression, for anxiety. Meditation can absolutely help.
And I also don't want it to be like, you have a terminal illness and you'll never get better.
Meditation is absolutely helpful for really any mental health challenge or for general mental wellness,
even if you don't have a diagnosis.
But it's generally seen as a supportive thing to do along with whatever else you're doing to work on your mental health challenges.
So thank you and we wish you the best.
Before we go, do you want to comment on my new glasses?
Did you notice them?
For those people who are listening, I'm trying out a new pair of specs today.
Your new glasses are very nice.
It's a round shape.
It's a horn rim.
A lot of color for you.
A lot of color.
Because it's tortoise shell on the top and kind of a, not an amber,
but yeah, they look very nice.
It brings out the gold in your beard.
Well, that's a great description of them.
And a great way to end the show.
For anyone who wants to, you can comment that.
Beolic Breakdown on Instagram.
Also, make sure to follow us on Instagram.
We're enjoying building up our fan base and sharing a lot more personal content there than I do on my Instagram page.
And it's become a fun place.
We're doing giveaways.
So make sure to follow us there.
If you want to ask my anything, you could do so at Biolikbreakdown.com.
That's BIA.
L-I-K.
Breakdown.com.
Thank you, everyone.
And if you haven't already, subscribe to the podcast, do it anywhere you get.
podcast, subscribe to Miami's YouTube
channel, and thanks so much for listening.
From our breakdown to the one we hope you never have,
we'll see you next time.
It's Miami-Bi-R-X breakdown.
She's going to break it down for you.
She's got a neuroscience PhD or two.
One fiction, one.
And now she's going to break down.
It's a breakdown.
She's going to break it down.
