Mayim Bialik's Breakdown - Manti Te’o: God Has Two Answers - Yes & Not Now

Episode Date: October 3, 2023

Manti Te’o (former NFL player) opens up about enduring his very public catfishing scandal, the spiritual and familial strength he drew on to overcome it, and how it brought him to a journey of self-discovery. He explains his connection to his Samoan heritage, the giving nature of his culture, and the expectations that were placed on him as the oldest child in a large Polynesian family. Manti discusses the double-edged sword of having a public persona, using football as a means to help his family, and the nature of faith when life isn’t turning out the way you want it to. He considers how the devastating fires in Hawaii have impacted the people and culture there, and how he thinks people can best support the population through it. BialikBreakdown.com YouTube.com/mayimbialik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It was a total 180 from just literally a few months ago where I'd walk through a grocery store and people would say, hey, that's Man Tai Tao. That's, that's, that's the All-American. That's, he's my hero. That's, that's my favorite player. That's my inspiration and asked me for autographs and pictures. And, you know, I would, I would be happy to do so. Then all of a sudden, it just, 180 flips and it's like, that's Man Tai Tao. That's the fool.

That's the guy that got catfish. How could, how could, what? idiot. And I just was like, oh my gosh, like, what do I do? How do I navigate this new realm? For a long time, I was in a whirlwind of chaos because for a while I let the external praise get to me. And I didn't realize how much I let it get to me until that positive reinforcement, that positive encouragement, the cheers, all of a sudden became hate and it came it came back in a form of a meme or a joke. And when that happened and all of a sudden, internally, I'm just screwed up. I had to go on this journey. And the reason why I say this

journey is because it's not like I was progressing the whole time. There was there was times of re-crushing, there's times where I just literally just sat there in rock bottom and just was like, man, leave me alone. But I went on this journey of self-identity that was purely my own. And for the first time I am, over the course of, I would say, three to four years after that, the only voices in my head. Before, when I was younger, it was my dad's voice. It was my grandfather's voice who would help direct me in the choices that I would make. Then I got to this aspect of my life and I went on this journey to now.

The only voice I hear in my head is my own. It's my and Bialics breakdown. She's going to break it down for you because you know she knows a thing or two. And now she's going to break down. Hi, I'm I. Mialik and welcome to my breakdown. This is the place where we break things down so you don't have to. I don't think you could break down Manteau if you tried. He is a former American football linebacker.

He played college football at Notre Dame. He was a Consensus All-American. He received eight national awards. He was drafted by the Chargers. He played in the NFL from 2013 to 2021. But what you might be curious about if we're going to break down and the answer is yes. In 2012, he was the victim of a catfishing ruse. And if you want to learn more about it, the Netflix documentary Untold, The Girlfriend Who Didn't Exist is something you may

want to watch. He talks with us about what it was like to be part of an incredibly public scandal with details that are absolutely unbelievable to many people. But I actually think we kind of get to the part of, I think, what was beneath this story, which really turned his life upside down. And it's so exciting for me, as always, to get to talk to an athlete because I freak out when I get to talk to athletes. And Mantai is from Hawaii, and he talks also about his connection to his Samoan heritage and how the fires have affected his perspective on Hawaii. So it is such a pleasure to welcome to the breakdown, Mantai Teo.

Break it down. I have to say the first thing I thought when I saw you is like, oh, he's grown up. Because I think of you, you know, as many of us do, many of us who watched your unbelievable career, you know, from the time you were essentially a teenager, you've been in many of our consciousness. But that's the funny thing about, you know, college athletes who then go on to the NFL, as you did with a really just, you know, incredible career. You grow up also in the process of that.

Can you maybe speak a little to, you know, you were given adult responsibilities essentially when you're, especially a college athlete. You know, you're treated like an adult. It's an adult business. And what kind of, what's your perspective, especially now that you're a dad, what was it like to sort of grow up in that world? Yeah, it definitely was a double-edged sword for me to be able to be in the public eye like that.

I think I was very fortunate to have the parents. that I have at a very young age who constantly reminded me that my actions and my words and everything that I did wasn't just a reflection of myself. And so by the time I was a teenager, by the time I did get into the public eye like that, I already had an awareness of the things I was doing, of the messages that I was sharing verbally and non-verbally. And I was constantly trying to do my best to always deliver a positive one. Something that was encouraging, something that was uplifting, not only, not necessarily for my gain, but mainly to honor my family, you know, to honor my parents. And that was possibly the best thing about my career was the notoriety and the recognition

that my parents and my parents and my family and my siblings got based on the things that I've done. And now it just continues in different realms now. So definitely being in the public eye, there's a lot of expectations. But at the same time, it's also an opportunity and a privilege. And it's something that I know a lot of people take very, very seriously. And I try to do that as well. Can you talk to me a little bit about your childhood? First of all, there's six of you in your family?

That's a lot of children. It's a lot of kids. And you were born in Hawaii. Can you talk a little bit about your childhood? And I want to kind of get into many aspects of your identity. But maybe you can talk a little bit about the kind of family you grew up in and what part of Hawaii you're from. Yeah. So I'm from La Juaia, Hawaii.

So it's the north shore of the island of Oahu. I kind of always joke with people. I don't know if you saw the movie forgetting Sarah Marshall. But a lot of that movie was filmed in my... my hometown. Matter of fact, I remember when they were filming that movie, the trailers actually parked in our yard. There was a scene where they're jumping off a cliff into the water. That cliff, we constantly jump off as kids. But just to give you a background on my upbringing, I'm the oldest of seven children. So I lost a little brother when he was four months old.

So I always make sure that I include him on everything that I do. So I'm the oldest of seven. And being the oldest child in any family, but specifically a Polynesian family, there's a lot of responsibility. There's a lot of expectation. Ever since I could remember, my father would always tell me if anything happened to him, that is my responsibility to take over the family. And he kind of mowed me from a very young age to be ready for that response. I grew up in La'ia, like I said, it's a very, very small town, very close-knit.

Everybody knows everybody there. And so even more so, like how we talked about before, understanding that everybody knew who I was and that my actions didn't just represent myself, but it represented my family. The Te'o name, the Santiago name, which is my mom's last name, is well known in our community. And so you would hear stories about my grandfather. You'll hear stories about my aunties, my uncles, my parents. And I want to make sure that the stories they told about me kind of added to that lineage, it's added to the long list of stories that you'll hear about our family name. Because after we're long gone, the thing that still remains are the stories that people tell about you and your last name and your family.

And so it's just a beautiful place to live as a child to grow up where it's a big family. We slept on the side of the street. We played basketball until like three in the morning. The neighbors wouldn't call the police on us. As a matter of fact, I remember there was an older lady. We called her auntie. She would come out with the cooler of Capri Suns and just pull it out at 2 in the morning

and just leave it on the side of the road. And we had drinks and Capri Sun sleep on the side of the road. Cars would come up and down the main road and would just stand on the side of the road and they would go around the basketball hoops and then we'll resume playing after. And that was our childhood. It was the best childhood I think you could give a young person

to be in that type of environment. It was beautiful. This might be a fun game to play. I mean, fun for people who need to know these things. I hope that they'll think it's fun. Can you please, I mean, I don't need to prove to you that I know the islands of Hawaii. But can you do a like, can you break down the islands of Hawaii?

because people sometimes literally don't know. And it's okay, like, you know, generally speaking, white mainland people don't know a lot about things that are not happening in their town or possibly their state. So I just want, like, I've been to Hawaii. I have not been to all the islands. But can you just like, this is just a fun snippet? Please tell us, what are the islands of Hawaii? So there's the big island, which is the Hawaii island.

and they call it Hawaii Island. So people think of, oh, I've been to Hawaii. Well, to locals, it's like, okay, have you been, are you talking about the state or are you talking about the singular island? Then there's Maui, which has been all over the news lately. Then there's Oahu, which I'm born and raised in. That's where Honolulu is. Yes, that's the big, busy.

That's where Pearl Harbor is. That's where a lot of the tourist attractions are. Right. There's Lanai, there's Kauai, there's Kaua'i. Those are the five big ones, right? Those are the five. Like most people think of like, there's five. You just name the five.

Yeah, there's, yeah. So there's like Kauai, there's Big Island, Maui, Oahu, Yes. Lanai. And Lanai. Uh-huh. Yeah.

And so those are like the main ones, you know, that everybody knows it. I have to ask a question. you live in Utah. And I have, my ex-husband, his family is Mormon, and so I've spent some good time in not just Salt Lake City because that's not where most Mormons are, but outside Salt Lake City.

And I love Utah, and it's beautiful. But I cannot help but ask how you function as someone who came from Hawaii, like a paradise, tropical, gorgeous, humid, like green living place. What is that, is there part of you that like misses that? Because Utah is dry.

Like it is dry and brown. And there's beautiful colors too. And like there's some water. Martins are nice, you know. Okay, but it's not Hawaii. Like how do you get your head around it? So I bought my parents a house out here. Remember I told you that was the whole reason why I did what I did, right?

Unfortunately, I couldn't buy the type of house they wanted in Hawaii because it was just way too expensive. But I lived in San Diego at that time. I had two sisters that were here in Utah. I had a sister that was in Oregon and the two youngest, they were still at home. And so I asked my parents, I said, hey, listen, I can buy your house in Utah. I mean, in Hawaii, but, you know, it's not going to be when you dreamed of. I was like, or I could buy it elsewhere and it'll probably be a little better. I was like, so what do you think?

And so they thought about Utah because my dad has, my dad's mom lives here. He has a few of his siblings live here and then my two sisters that were here. And so they wanted to create a place where everybody was together. And so what brought me here was when they moved up, all of a sudden, all my siblings started to Utah. And we still lived in San Diego. When my wife and I got married and then we're expecting our daughter, again, the family unit for me, I looked at my wife and I said, hey, listen, I want to raise our children around their grandparents, around their aunties, their uncles, and their cousins. It's like, that to me is home.

And so we moved here. And my mom, I'm telling you, I, I, I'm telling you, I, I told my sisters one time, I was back in San Diego, we go to San Diego and go to Hawaii every year. I said of my sisters, I was like, man, I'm more consistently happy in Hawaii and in San Diego, but I'm my happiest in Utah. Because when we get together as a family and my daughter and my son get to play with their cousins, and me and my siblings sit back with our families and we just look around and we're in this, My parents have a seven-bed five and a half bath house now.

You know what I mean? AC, of course. You know, it's just like, I sit back and I'm like, this is what I did it all for. Right. You know, this is home. This is where I'm my happiest. And so that's why we're here in Utah. And, you know, it's.

But doesn't the fruit taste horrible on the mainland? Yeah, for sure. The fruit isn't the same. It doesn't taste the same. It all tastes like water. Yeah. When you go to Hawaii, yeah. When you taste like a guava off a tree, you're like, that's what fruit is supposed to taste like.

Yeah, you know what's funny? My mom is when I was in college, a lot of my teammates would talk about the pineapples. I was like, what do you mean the pineapple? He said, bro. He's like, have you ever had a pineapple over here, you know, in the Midwest? I was like, no. He's like, well, try a pineapple. And it wasn't until I tried the pineapple that I was like, yeah, you guys are missing something.

No, it doesn't even taste like it tastes like you might as well be eating like a bland apple. is what fruit tastes like compared. So I would tell my family, I would ask them, hey, can you ship some pineapple so I can give it to my teammates? And so Brian Smith was one of the guys he always asked me and would bring some pineapples, cut it up, and then give it to the boys. But yeah, there's definitely a difference in the produce.

I can't even imagine. Anyway, I give you a lot of credit. I give you a lot of credit. Thank you, my own. Also, I was born in San Diego. So I used to root for the Chargers as a kid, but my parents are New Yorkers. but also very close to my heart

because I was born in San Diego. Yeah, I love San Diego. Okay, next dumb white person question. Your family is Samoan. Yes, Samoan Hoin, yeah. And Samoans are part of the Polynesian family, as it were. Yes, yes, yes. And, like, I don't mean to sound like such a stupid person,

but, like, I had to review. I had to, like, understand. So all Samoans are Polynesian, not all Polynesians are Samoan. It could be, so Maori, Samoan, right? These are all Polynesian. All Polynesian. So the way that I would explain it to a lot of my friends in the mainland is like you have,

I'll compare us to Asians, right? So like there's Chinese, there's Japanese, there's Korean, Vietnamese. All of those cultures are considered Asian cultures. Right, but they're very different. But they're very, very different. The same is, it's the same. same as Hawaiians, Sarmuans, Tongans, Fijians, Māori, Tahisians. Right.

We're all fit under the umbrella of Polynesians. And so don't feel of my own of, you know, you're one of many. Oh, I got so many dumb white person questions. We're just getting started. Yeah, people think that Polynesians is like a specific culture. Right. But there is French Polynesia. Like, that's a thing.

Yes. Okay. Here's my next dumb question. Do you think of yourself as Samoan or you think of yourself as Hawaiian or you think of yourself as Hawaiian with a Samoan family? What do you identify as? So I identify as an island boy. I always say that. I say island boy.

The reason being is, so I was born and raised in Hawaii. But my dad was born in Samoa, in American Samoa. And so he was raised very, very, in the term far Samoa. And so I was raised not totally for Osamao, but I was raised understanding what the Samoan ideology is what our culture was. And by default, me being in Hawaii, I learned the culture at home back in Hawaii. So I always say I'm an island boy because if I were to go to Samoa, I don't know everything there. I know the main things, but I wouldn't, I couldn't say like, man, I'm Samo and like I know the culture inside and out. But then when I go to Hawaii, I understand the Hawaii, the island expectations, the culture, you know, what's expected of me.

And so I always say that I'm an island boy to say, hey, hey, hey, this is where I'm from, this is what I know. These are my ideologies. This is my, these are my values and people, you know, people who understand. I kind of understand that, okay. Miami-Bialx breakdown is supported by Superpower. We all know the feeling of leaving a doctor's office and kind of feeling like we didn't get anything out of the experience that was useful. Maybe they're like, you're fine, drink more water. There's no real data.

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And after you sign up, they'll ask how you heard about them. Make sure to mention my ambiolics breakdown to help support the show. You know, we talk a lot about sort of, you know, what makes us who we are, what gives us the strength or the resources to deal with any of life's challenges. And everybody has their own particular challenges. but you know, you mentioned something that, you know, for many people who don't come from an ethnic community, people don't understand. And so I wonder if you can speak a little bit to it. I, you know, my grandparents were immigrants from Eastern Europe. So, you know, I always felt like a little bit

different, like a little bit other. Like, we grew up with a different language. And, you know, I grew up speaking a different language. And we have a whole culture that's very different from, You know, I mean, I have white privilege. I'm aware of that. But, you know, I feel very different, you know, than a lot of the, like, I don't know, the kids whose family came over on the Mayflower or whatever, you know. So I wonder if you can talk a little bit because I've already heard like some really beautiful kind of threads, you know, in your story. You know, the notion of a family responsibility that when you carry a name, it's a thing. That being, you know, the man of the house or having that responsibility. responsibility, you know, those are, you know, kind of what we think of as like old-fashioned values, but they're not, because for many cultures, that is a structure of also what provides cohesion in the family. So I wonder if you can talk about, and I know that you're a, you're part of the Mormon church, which also has a very strong familial component, even though its origins are very different. But I wonder if you can talk about sort of the person you are, and sort of how you feel your ancestry and your heritage lives in you and the things that you do now. Yeah, I think all of that can be summed up in something that my father would tell me every time I left the house, whether it was to go play with my friends, whether it was to go on a sleepover, whether it was to go to a school dance, whether it was to go on a field trip, school to school, whatever it was,

my dad would always tell me, Mantai remember who you are and whose you are. And that was for me all I needed to hear as a child is understanding who I am. Okay, what does that mean? Well, it's understanding the things that you were taught since you're little, the things that you were taught directly and indirectly, the way you saw dad work hard, the way you saw dad sacrifice, the way you saw mom care,

the way you saw mom just literally keep the home intact And it was this understanding from a cultural and a spiritual aspect of what is the most important thing in this life. And from a very young age, it was all about the family dynamic and understanding that the most important thing in this life is my family. And to understanding that what is my role as the oldest in this family unity? Well, this, and my role is to ensure that everybody's taking care of. There's dad and there's me. And I need to be dad's right-hand man, you know, and nobody, nobody, nobody comes close to mom. You know, it's just, mom's like the untouchable being in the home, you know, and it's all about understanding as a man, how do I provide, how do I protect, how do I show by my actions, my words and my deeds, that my family is the nucleus of my life.

and it's helped me now as a father to see things through a certain through a new perspective, but a very familiar one of me being the oldest. You know, it's, there's nothing that's going to prepare you for when you become a father. There's nothing that could prepare me when I,

when my, when my daughter came into our life in 21, and then when my son came into our life in 23, um, that type of love. But I was trained and I was being prepared my whole life being the oldest of seven kids. You know, my dad, I remember it was funny.

We went to school in town, so it was an hour and a half from where we lived. And there came a point where our ride forgot us. And I knew the number one thing that I had to do as the oldest is make sure that me and my sister get home and we get home safely. And so we walked from our school to the nearest bus stop, which was probably like five miles, jumped on the bus. We caught the bus for two and a half hours all the way home. How old were you? So I was a sophomore at that time in high school, a sophomore around there.

My sister was a freshman. But these were lessons that my dad always said, hey, listen, don't come home without your siblings. Right. You know, when we was in elementary school, all my siblings knew that when school was done, they stay in their classroom, and I'll come and pick them up. Okay, so here's my question. So I get that that is your role as the oldest, right? What are the other siblings prepared for?

It's like, do they have to find an older sibling to marry? Because like, that's who's going to take care of them, meaning someone who's from another family who's like, I got this. Yeah, well, it's a beautiful thing. What happened was when I went off to college, that sister that was referring to called me and said, hey, I didn't understand how hard it was to be the oldest. I didn't understand the responsibilities.

How did you do it? And so it kind of, when I leave, the next one takes over, when they leave. And so even more so, it wasn't just my responsibility to take care of the family, provide, protect, and all of that alongside my father. But to make sure that everybody else knew when it was their time, this is what is expected of us. And again, it goes back to what is the most important thing in our culture. And it's our family. You know, it's always making sure that the family unit is the strongest, that the family unit shows the most love because the world will turn this back on you in a heartbeat.

But your family will be there to fight for you no matter what. I wonder if you can talk a bit about, you know, where your religious faith, you know, played into this. You know, I know that there are many people who, blend, you know, Christianity with, you know, different aspects of religious practice or spiritual practice, if they are from, you know, from Polynesian culture. What was your family like in terms of, you know, God or, you know, was there a patriarchal religious structure? Were you raised Mormon? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I was born and raised in the Church of Jesus Christ, Latter-day Saints. My mom, when she dated my dad in high school, she wasn't a member.

But then she converted to the church while they were dating. And then they started their family. I was born. And so I was born in the church. I was born understanding the values, understanding. Again, it's kind of crazy how they parallel each other. My culture and my religious belief of how the family dynamic is. is the center part of this whole existence that we call life.

And how it complements each other in different ways. And so, again, it was kind of like the marriage of two worlds that was exactly the same. Just one was from a cultural aspect and the other was from a spiritual aspect. And I think when you add those two variables together, it creates a very, very, very, strong, resilient person who understands where his roots are. It's funny, one of the things that I do nowadays that once was a chore was I do the yard. Growing up, that was one of my chores is like, you have to do the yard moulder lawn, we whack things, pull the weeds.

And what's beautiful was once was chores is now therapy now for me. So I love to do the yard because it just helps me to just relax. And the reason why I bring that up is when I'm in the yard, right, Like I have a bunch of plants in my yard, but then we also have weeds. Now, the weeds are the easiest to pool because the roots are very, very shallow. But the trees in my yard, the plants in my yard, they're a lot more difficult because those roots go deeper. And when I talk about culture, I talk about those roots. It's the roots that have been growing for generations and generations and generations.

That when you try to take that plant, take that person and pull them out of the ground, they're very, very firm. They're very, very set because those roots have been dug before them and they continue to go after them. And so every time I'm pulling those weeds, it just reminds me of culture and how important it is to me, how important it is for me to teach my kids, you know, about the culture, about my culture, what's expected of them, values that I want them to have. And then, you know, to improve on things to better themselves. So it's a beautiful evolution of our family. It's a beautiful evolution that my family is going through, and it's just going to keep getting better. I agree.

I mean, that is my hope. You also, you know, you left. You went to go to college, and you went far from home. And even, you know, as the crow flies, quite far. You know, you went deep into the United States mainland. to go to Notre Dame. You also, you know, you have some really incredible acknowledgments, first of all, as a football player, period, but also as a football player of Polynesian descent and Samoan, you know,

heritage. And there's, there's so many aspects of your football career that, you know, have this, like, asterisk, this star next to them of, like, this is a special place that you know, you know, you you made your claim. Was that something that from the time you were young and when you started, you know, seeing what your interests were, did you feel like I want to make a name for myself in football this way? Or did it just kind of happen by chance that you realized, oh, my gosh, I'm the first or

I'm one of the first? You know, it was funny. My whole journey didn't start and those dreams and aspirations didn't start for my own, my own gain necessarily. We grew up in a three-bed, one-bath house. The house was so small, you could stand on one side of the, one corner of the house and see the entire thing. We didn't have AC, you know, so on those hot, humid days and those hot human nights, my sisters and I, what we would do is we'd put water in our hair and then stick our head in a freezer just so that we could get a little bit of frost and then run to our room and jump in beds. and turn the fan on full blast and hopefully we'll fall asleep before our hair dries and we feel hot again.

And so I remember vividly, I was the first to go to our private school. And the reason why I went to the private school was my parents had a vision for my life. They wanted me to be able to have the best educational academic experience. And that private school was just that. And so I got in my seventh grade here. So the thing about it was it was an hour and a half away from when we lived. And so when I would wake up early in the morning and it would be 4.30, 5 o'clock in the morning. And I'd walk down that short little hallway in our house.

I would stare into, I would look into my sister's room where all four of them would be in there on a little, I think it was a full-sized bed. Some of them were on the ground, some of them were on the, but just sweating. from the night before because it's so hot, right? I remember thinking to myself, I need to make it. Because if I don't make it, they stay there. And so I strongly believe that in everybody's life, there'll come a time where that bill that has been passed from generation to generation will be passed to you.

And on that bill, there's a price. and that price isn't a price for food or what you ordered in your meal. That price is a reflection of the price that must be paid in order to change the circumstances of your family. And when that bill came around towards me, my parents knew and I knew that I was going to be the one to pay it. And so, you know, I have all of these, like you said, I have all of these accomplishments, but I never went about my career thinking like, man, I want to, I want to be the best that I can be the most decorated college football player in college football history. I want to go to Notre Dame and take the team of the National Championship.

I want to win a Buccas Award or whatever it is. I want to go to NFL. Everything was, I want to get my family out of here. What do I have to do? Well, we know football. We know football. We know hard work. So that's the only two things that my family.

family and I knew. And so we knew that if we wanted to really change the circumstances of our family, I was going to be the one to pay that bill. And so it just so happens that with a lot of sacrifice, with a lot of dedication, with a lot of resilience, and with a lot of grace, that is the result is in a form of that type of recognition. But again, I didn't go about this journey thinking like, man, I want to be the best so that I could get these accolades. I need to be the best because the only way that I can get an AC in that room is to make it to the NFL one day. And there's so many people like me. There's so many people that have the same stories, similar stories where they live in the projects or whatever.

You know, they single family homes. You know, I'm blessed. I have both of my parents in the home. You know, so there are kids that come from even tougher situations that one day. They woke up and they said, listen, I'm going to change the circumstances of this family. I'm going to do it. So my story is just another rendition of all of that. It's really, you put that so beautifully.

And also, you know, I don't want to, I don't want to ignore the fact that you also, you ended up being a real trailblazer, you know, in many arenas here. I have a feeling, you know, that the answer might be your faith, but I'm going to ask this anyway. You know, there's a lot of attention paid. And, you know, as someone who was a child actor, I get asked a lot. Like, why didn't you do drugs? Like, why did you end up just, like, taking the trash out and doing your homework and being a boring person like your parents wanted you to be? But I'd like to ask a version of it because, you know, especially as, you know, media gets more interested in, you know, things like Last Chance You, which like I was, you know, obsessed with, you know, and just, you know, just watching the lives of players.

And, you know, also, I think many of us grew up in a time. when we weren't really taught to care. It was just like, oh, well, that's my entertainment. And I don't care what their lives are like, as long as I'm happy in making money or whatever. But I think people have an interest in the stories, you know, behind people, which we should because we're all humans. But, of course, like, I am curious sort of what role your faith played

or what other aspects of your life were like. Because, you know, now that I have, I have a 15 and 18-year-old, you know, I have two boys. And, like, I just, you know, I still feel like I'm still. so connected to them as their mom that I really can't even imagine what it would be like, first of all, to send them to college at all, but to send them also or to have them experience college where you are like praised, adored, getting free things, invited to parties. Like there are people who just want to date your kid because they're, you know, like famous or

have, you know, reputation. And so like I just, I think about the social pressures, you know. And I'm curious how, you know, how you tackle. it, huh? It's a football pun. But I am. I'm curious how you, how you handled that. Like, I'm, I'm not asking you for, like, nitty-gritty details, but I also wonder if you kind of came in, like, this is not going to be an issue, or if there were challenges, or kind of how you got through being this in-demand player who also probably had a lot of excesses offered to you that, from where you came from, weren't, you know, to be expected. It's a combination of a lot of things, right? It's a combination of my parents, definitely my faith, my upbringing, my community, just to share a little

story. I think I was, I was, I had to be younger than eight years old. But my dad and I were driving, I think it was, I think it was Mother's Day morning. And the reason why I think it was Mother's Day morning, because I remember it was early in the morning. And my dad, my dad and I had a tradition where would drive to town to the airport early in the morning on Mother's Day because there was the same lady that had these nice lace that she would sell over there. And it was only at the airport. And my dad and I would drive all the way over there to get it from my mom to bring it back to her before church so she could wear it to church. That's one of the traditions. And I remember on our way there, Holy has a challenge with with

homelessness. And I remember I saw a homeless man and he was he was sitting on the side of the road with a sign. And I remember again, I couldn't be older than eight years old. I remember I asked my dad, I was like, dad, why are there people like that? And I meant, I asked that question in a very curious, being very, very curious. I was like, dad, where are there people like that? And my dad had had a gift to take very, very simple situations and making them life-changing moments. And my dad responded to me, he said, son, I believe that there are people like that so that God could see if people like us would do something about it. And so that was just one of the many moments in my life that happened at a very, very young age

that, again, changed my perspective about how I view things. I don't view things from an athlete standpoint where a lot of times where you're giving all of this praise, you're giving all of this feedback, you're giving all of these accomplishments in verbal and in award forms, whatever it is, that it starts to get to you. My dad did a very, very good job in helping me to understand who I was, my identity, and my identity beyond what the public may say about me, that I was able to navigate through things. And I just used to, I remember my dad would tell me sometimes when I'll come back from, from elementary school as, hey, son, so-and-so's parents came up to me the other day and just wanted to say, thank you for befriending their son at school. And that for me was like, oh, I love that.

I love when people, when other parents tell my parents that thank you for your son, come sitting next to their son in the cafeteria. You know, I never saw him. I never viewed myself as somebody that was above anybody. But to other people, they would say, oh, he's the popular kid, and he would come sit by me. That means a lot. So I didn't understand that dynamic. All I understood was like, man, I don't want that kid to sit by himself. Man, I want that kid to have some friends.

Man, I don't want this kid to ever feel like they're alone. So I'm going to go sit by him. I'm going to go say hi to him. You know, if somebody was new in school, I'll be the first one to say, hey, man, welcome to the school. You know, because I never saw myself different than anybody else. And I still don't. And that's one thing I want my children to understand. And I have to credit that to my parents to the way they raised us, both culturally and spiritually,

because I strongly believe that I have a seven-month-old son. And he just started to crawl like a month ago. And it's amazing that when we're at church, like I'll put him down. And you'll see a whole bunch of kids just six months. months, seven, eight months. They're just crawling around, mingling with each other, all different cultures, all different backgrounds, whatever it is. The only time that a kid understands or is taught who to play with and who not to play with is when an adult gets involved and say, hey, you don't play with that person. Hey, we don't hang around with that person. And so what a responsibility

it is for us as adults, us as parents, to be very, very aware and very, very conscious of the lessons that we're teaching our children by our actions, our words, and our deeds. And so, again, I think to answer your question, it had a lot to do with my upbringing, with my parents, raising us in the church, raising us to understand who we are and whose we are as we kind of navigated through life. And all it did was, now again, I wasn't perfect. But as I got older and as I continued on this journey in life, I constantly had that reminder of exactly that of who I was and whose I was.

It's so beautiful and really inspiring. And, you know, also there's a pressure, you know, that boils underneath the surface in a lot of your stories that you don't convey as pressure, which I think is because your parents, it sounds like, balanced it really well. And I think also when there is... when there is such strong foundation to the reason that that pressure exists, I think it maybe lessens it a little bit. And so I really, I was thinking about that. And then I was thinking like, I mean, I really relate to a lot of what you're talking about.

You know, I always felt like I was this like people pleaser kid. Like I always wanted to be like nice to people. But, and I did. I always wanted like that praise. I wanted my parents to hear that. And I think, though, there's really two sides to that. You know, I think there's the side that's like, I must have everyone love me and I need the praise. Or this is just how you're wired, it sounds like.

It's how you were programmed, you know? Yeah, I think that you're exactly right, Maya, where there are two parts. And one is very, very ego-driven. One of them is very self-serving. And the other one, I would articulate a little bit as, I didn't do it so that you could go tell your parents and your parents could tell my parents. Like, yeah, I love that. But I did it because I didn't want you to feel alone.

It had nothing to do with the fact that it would make me feel good. And I wanted everybody to be my friend. It had nothing to do with that because most oftentimes the people that were friendless weren't in social circles, the popular ones. And I'm like, I don't want nobody to feel. that way. I don't want nobody to be sitting in a cafeteria by themselves as a new kid from from California, from a new kid from Oregon, new kid from Connecticut, wherever you are. I don't care. You know, I don't care where you came from. I know, and we all know, regardless of culture,

regardless of belief, what it feels to feel, what it feels like to be alone. I don't want anybody feeling that way. And so if I could do something about it, I'm going to do it. If you tell your parents and your parents happy to tell my parents, cool, that's great. But the whole reason why I did it, the whole reason why I opened doors for women for elderly, the whole reason why I showed respect that way is because, one, I was taught that.

Two, is I know that I don't want you to feel the other side. So we talk about pressure. Pressure, I think, gives us opportunities. Like, there's a lot of opportunity in pressure. and you could take that pressure and use it for good or you can take that pressure and use it for bad. I've always tried to take the pressure and say, okay, how do I use this pressure for good? How do I use these experiences for good? How do I create the most good in the decisions that I make?

And oftentimes it's not the easiest ones. And so if you watch my life, I have always tried. tried in in in every situation to do so again i wasn't perfect but i've had that mindset at all times okay what does god want me to do what's going to honor my family and what does the most good and the beautiful thing about all three is it's always often the same thing that leads really nicely into you know an aspect of your life that i'm sure you would not have designed you know that the way it happened, meaning you have such an unbelievable story, and I just love the way you talk about your family. And, you know, your life as an athlete also is such a beautiful story.

Your life now sounds so fascinating and fulfilling, you know? Yeah. And you had, you know, an aspect of your life that became a very public story and was turned into a Netflix documentary, one of the untold documentaries, that you chose to participate in. to talk about, you know, something that had happened. And I really don't want to go into the details. I think it is a very well-done documentary, and I think your participation is very, it's very gracious.

It's very beautiful. So if people want to look that up, that's fine. But what I do want to talk about is that there's an aspect of this story that makes a lot of sense. When I think about your faith and when I think about probably some of the guidelines that you used with which you conducted your, yourself. I understand in a different way how you, you know, engaged with a person that you had not physically connected with, but who was part of your life. And I don't know why I'm feeling emotional

about your story, but this often happens. But I think that's a, I think it's a really, it's a really interesting, subtle thing that is hard to have conveyed in the documentary. And I'm really grateful that you've chosen to talk to me and that you're open to talking about these other aspects of you because I think it fills in so much more of the details of this. But one of the things that's so dominant in the way that you handled it was your notion of grace and your notion of forgiveness and your choice to be so incredibly forthcoming in a really timely fashion about something that would make a lot of people want to, like, go away and not even want to deal with. And I cannot imagine the stress that your spirit, you know, had to be under in that, you know,

public way. I mean, the fact that you were dealing with this personally is enough, you know, but the fact that, like, it was public. But I wonder if you can kind of speak to, and, you know, like your parents have spoken about it so beautifully. I wonder if you can speak to what strength you drew on in real time as this kind of blew up, you know, in the media. And there's so much gossip and there's so much like stupidness and there's so much like untruth. And you also like you can't you can't go into every detail and be like, that's not true. That's not true. You know, you had to really deal with it in like a very measured way. And I'm curious like was there one guiding principle, three guiding principles?

What kind of kept you going to say like, I'm going to step up to the plate about this? And I'm to deal with it. What's so nice about the ending part of your question was when you said, I'm going to step up to the plate and I'm going to deal with it. For a while after, I didn't want to. For a while after it was, it was like how you said before, I wanted it all to, I just wanted to go away. I kind of just wanted to hide everywhere that I would go in the public eye.

It was just a total one. 180 from just literally a few months ago where I'd walk through a grocery store and people would say, hey, that's Man Tai Tao. That's, that's, that's the all-American. That's, he's my hero. That's, that's my favorite player. That's my inspiration and asked me for autographs and pictures. And, you know, I would, I would be happy to do so. Then all of a sudden, it just, of 180 flips and it's like, that's Man Tai Tai-Tao. That's the fool. That's the guy that I got catfish. How could, how could, what an idiot. And I just. was like, oh my gosh, like, what do I do? You know, how do I navigate this new room? Well, what I did was when you have all of that external conversation and that external dialogue and the external pressure, the beautiful thing about that pressure is it forces you internal. And for a long time, I. I was in a whirlwind of chaos because for a while I let the external praise get to me.

And I didn't realize how much I let it get to me until that positive reinforcement, that positive encouragement, the cheers, all of a sudden became hate and it came back in a form of a meme or a joke. And when that happened and all of a sudden, internally, I'm just screwed up. I had to go on this journey. And the reason why I say this journey is because it's not like I was progressing the whole time. There was times of regression. There are times where I just literally just sat there in rock bottom and just was like, man, leave me alone. But I went on this journey of self-identity.

that was purely my own. And for the first time I am, over the course of, I would say, three to four years after that, the only voices in my head, before when I was younger, it was my dad's voice. It was my grandfather's voice

would help direct me in the choices that I would make. Then I got to this aspect of my life, and I went on this journey to now the only voice I hear in my head is my own. Like it's not saying, Matt, I go sit by that person because this is daddy telling you or this is Papa telling you.

The voice that I hear in my head is mine. Matti, go over there because you know that's what you should do. To go over there because this is what, this is who you are. And that was the beautiful part about what happened. Was there a lot of chatter outside of who I was? Oh, he's a liar. He is part of it.

He was naive. He was, you know, and then there's also the positive. Like, oh, he's my hero. He's the best linebacker. He's the All-American. He's my, you know, whatever it is. And I had to dial it all in and say, okay, man, Tai, Biff. Aside from all of this, who are you?

And there was a good amount of time I am that I would do this thing in my mirror. When I brushed my teeth in the morning and I brushed my teeth in night, where I would stare at myself, and I'd have to tell myself, man, I'm not saying, you're that guy. And how I viewed myself and my belief in myself was so shot that when I said it, it was a very, very low whisper. And even at a whisper, I didn't believe it. And I went on this every day for three to four years.

to the point where it got louder and louder and louder and louder and louder. And then it got to the point in my way where I just could stare at myself and I just smile. I didn't have to say anything because I already knew who I was because I had to build that. There's nobody telling me there are no there are no fan saying this or no fan. I had to figure out, okay, Manthai, who are you, bro? Who are you? Who are you before the catfishing? Who are you before the Heisman?

Who are you before the All-American? Who are you before? The memes, who are you, bro? And when I dialed that in mind, that is when I became my best self. It's when I became so in tuned to who I am, so in tune to how I'm currently feeling. And I think that's where the conversation of mental health comes into the picture,

where I strongly believe that when it comes to mental health, It's what we all know that zone that we're in. We all know they talk about the zone. Okay. How do I get there? Like in athlete terms. Oh, he was in the zone. He was in the zone.

Well, what did he do to get there? And when I was playing, I would listen to the same playlist. I would put my socks on the same way, put my shoulder pads on the same way, all of that stuff. Well, after those three to four years, my own, I was so in tune to how I was feeling. that I didn't have a playlist. I was like, oh, well, I'm a little anxious today. Let me just cool it down. And this is just some island reggae.

I'm a little tired today. I feel a little flat. Let me listen to some R&B. Let me sit hip, some hip-hop, some rap, something that hyped me up. It was no longer just a cookie-cutter approach to getting Manti into the zone. It was all about, I know where I'm at. I know where I'm feeling. I know how I'm feeling we're in the zone.

Now, how do I get there? if you had not had this catfishing experience happen, if you had not had this happen, what do you see that the trajectory of your life might have been? Do you believe that everyone's going to be given, you know, their hero's journey? That's the Joseph Campbell version of, you know, the religious kind of, you know, exploration we're talking about.

Do you think you would have gotten that or you might not have gotten that? Does everyone get this? Like, if that hadn't happened, would you have become like a, I want all the money and girls? Like, did you need this? Like, does everyone have their own trial and this was yours? Yeah, yeah. I think that everybody's asked to carry their cross.

Everybody, God asked everybody to carry theirs. And somebody, when I was going through everything, somebody asked me, like I asked, I was like, I asked, I was like, this thing is getting heavy, man. Like, this thing is, this cross that he's asking me to carry is getting heavy. And I remember my bishop told me one of our, one of our church leaders, I would meet with him every month and would have a conversation. And I remember he told me a story about a young man that went into a room and God caught him into a room. And everybody came into that room with their own crosses that they had to bear.

And when the young man threw his cross on the ground, he was surprised at how quickly it was snatched up. And that was that was the reality for me, Maya. I'm like, yeah, was I was, was I asked. to carry a heavy one? Yeah, it was heavy to me. But one thing I know, and I've been taught this since I was little, in church and by my family, is God will never ask me to do something that he knows I can't handle.

He never will. And so if he asks me to bear this, I'm going to bear it. And I'm going to figure out a way, right? I'm going to figure out a way as I go through this whole experience of how to deal with it. Now, again, it just so happened that I was in the public eye. and I had that choice. Like, do I deal with this in a negative way? Or do I deal with this in a positive way with integrity?

And just do that. Not thinking like, oh, 10 years later, you're going to have a Netflix special. You're going to be on my own podcast. You know, you don't know that. You know, you just know, like, this is the right thing for me to do. And that's basically what I did. The notion that, and you know, you don't have to believe in God to use this expression and this notion, you know, that we are not given more than we can handle. And, you know, I've been told that many times and, you know, for various different reasons.

And, you know, what I always say is like, God must think a lot of me. Because I keep being given things that are like, seriously? Like, really? This? And now this, and I think that's, you know, I say that also to find a little bit of humor in it because it is very heavy. And, you know, that expression, like this is your cross to bear. It's literally, it is from Christian, you know, liturgy. Like that's the, I mean, it's from Christian history, that notion of that. But we've incorporated it into, you know, a secular mindset also because, like, it is, it's a colloquialism.

Like, this is my cross to bear. I want to go back to something you said. You know, when you're getting all that input, you know, and I think it's so interesting that you noted the, there's a Hebrew expression, you know, that in the flip of a bucket, your fate can change. It's something from our Purim story, which is a festival in the spring, where, you know, the fate of the Jews is kind of hanging in the balances.

And, you know, in one moment, there's a heroic woman who, tells the king, I'm Jewish, please don't kill my brothers and sisters. Anyway, the notion is in the flip of a barrel, your fate can change. And what you described was that you were getting all this like positive attention, you know, and all these things. And if you listen to that, you also have to listen to what happens when the barrel flips. And the notion, and this is a little bit like 12-stepy, but I think it's also probably, you know, has religious basis. God is either everything or God is nothing is the religious concept, that you're not allowed to say all of the good things that happen, that's from God and all of the bad things. That's Satan or that's people being mean to me.

You know, if your understanding of the world is that both things are held in this natural world, which for many of us we call God's world, then that the things that we arbitrarily as humans say, like, this is bad or this is good, it kind of is all one. because it's just, you know, your path. Does that, does that feel accurate, that notion? That's super accurate. And I'm glad you brought that up because as you're speaking and as you're talking about that you can't say that good is a blessing and it's from God and the bat isn't.

What I've learned in the past 13 years, 13, 10 years, whatever, 10, 12 years, whatever it is, ever since everything happened was what the word faith means. And the reason why I have a very, very strong belief in this word is because I learned throughout this whole experience is faith doesn't mean that faith isn't you believing in God when you ask for something and you get it. faith it doesn't mean that when when when when you get on your knees to pray you're asking for things and you you get it and you're like okay I believe because I believe in God because I asked for something and it gave it to me right faith is you asking for something my own and you get the total opposite and yet you still believe so okay I get it because I understand through my life through my experiences that I ask God for wisdom, he's going to give me some problems.

He's going to give me. I asked him for, I think there was this clip from this movie where this pastor guy was saying, he was like, I asked him for strength, and he gave me problems to solve. And so he doesn't just give you, give me money, give me, give me, give me wealth, give me prosperity, give me what he's, no, he's going to test you. because he doesn't just give you the blessings. He prepares you for it. He's not going to just place these responsibilities on it. He's going to train you for it.

And then once you are ready to carry him, now, okay, let's go. Let's rock and roll. You know? And so it's beautiful that description that you just so beautiful described about the positive and the negatives and how we sometimes we look at the negatives and we say, oh, God isn't real because this bad things happen to me. Well, they also, like, I've heard it said that God has two answers. Yes and not now. I've got something better for you, you know? Yeah, you're right. And I want to really also, you know, before we move on from this, I really want to find a way to secularize this because I think a lot of people don't have a connection to God for whatever reason. And, you know, my notion is like you don't have to believe in gravity. It just exists, you know? I don't feel too overly. Yeah, I don't even.

I don't feel too overly invested in like, but you have to believe in God. Like, everything's happening whether you believe in it, not, like, whatever. Meaning I'm not overly invested in people's identification with that. However, you know, I think that all of these concepts, and that's really what I'd like to impress upon people who might be hearing this and being like, but I don't have that structure and I wasn't raised with that kind of faith. The notion is that the universe will give you all of this. This is God's universe or it's just the universe.

So there's, you don't have to have an anthropopor promorifies like God in the sky. You don't need to, like, I'm a person, I'm a Jewish person, so I don't have a Jesus connection as the son of God, you know. But like the universe exists with all of these opportunities and challenges. They're going to come at you no matter what. And I think that the place that people of faith like to point out to people who don't have faith is that there are structures that are often in place that are holding patterns. you know, for support that is harder to find if you're, you know, an atheist who also believes in the universe. And that's, some people don't need it. And that's fine. But, but that,

that sort of is, I just want to hold that container open for people that, you know, that's true. I don't care if you pray to God for a parking spot. Like asking, asking, you know, asking the universe for a parking spot, like, that may not be what you need, right? So I think, there's also something that I really want people to feel comforted, that even if you don't have a personal God and maybe you want one or maybe you don't, the notion that life will keep delivering to you and those things are challenges and we don't always know what's best. We don't always understand the plan. And yes, that is a thing that religious people say of like, you don't understand the mysteries of God. But the fact is, we really don't understand the mysteries of

even quantum mechanics. we're still working on it, you know? You're right. You're right. I like to add something to that, I'm for, you know, people have asked,

you know, why, why are, why, how is your faith so strong? I, the best way I can describe is the way that my sister, Tiades said it to me.

She said that the adversary or, you know, the devil, whatever you want to call him, he can mimic every emotion. He can make you happy. He can make you feel accomplished.

He can make you excited. He can mimic all of these, all of these things. He can give you joy, right? The only thing that he cannot duplicate is peace. That he can't. So when you feel peace, Man Tai, you know who it's from. And that's how I know when he's talking to me is, I'm not necessarily happy.

You know, matter of fact, when I committed to the University of Notre Dame, it wasn't the decision I wanted to make. But I knew it was from him because I had peace. And that is what I wish for everybody. Honestly, I don't want you to be happy. Because life is about ups and downs, peaks and valleys. You're going to be happy one day, sad, joyful, excited, not so excited, you know, battling some things.

But the thing that I would wish for everybody is for everybody to feel peace. And I think that was the biggest thing that I experienced in 2012 versus 2013 was in 2012. I was writing very, very high in the worldly views. You know, I was writing up there. It was a nice experience to see a different side of life from the boy that grew up in a three-bed, one-bath house. And then 2013 happened and it just, like how you said, in the flip of the cup, it was down. And the only thing that I wanted my own in that whole experience was peace. That's all because that's the only thing that I didn't have was peace.

And so I knew that the cure, in my opinion, to what I was going through would have to be, would have to come from God because he's the only person that could give me the peace that I was searching for. I didn't want money. I didn't want any of that. I wanted the peace within myself. I wanted to feel his grace on me because I just, it was not a pleasant space to be. being. It was not a pleasant, you know, existence during that time for me. And so I was like, I just, I just want peace. And so it's, I hope that makes sense for those who don't believe in God, that that's where I, that's my source that I get that from. I love that. I know that's the only

place that I can get it from that type of piece. It's beautiful. And I think it does make a lot of sense. I want to talk a little bit about the Maui relief efforts. And I know obviously this is your home. I mean, this is, you know, there have been so many challenges to the environment in general. But Hawaii is a very, very special place. It really is, you know, it is part of the United States and also so separate, meaning so special. And, and, you know, it is part of the United States. And, unique. And, you know, many of us who have spent time in Hawaii have, you know, experienced, there's a very mystical power to those islands and, and to all of the cultures that contribute, you know, to what Hawaii is. And also, you know, as our culture has evolved in understanding

more about ways to talk about colonialism and, you know, the way land is used and and sometimes not used kindly. I wondered if you could speak a little bit to, you know, to sort of that tension that Hawaii lives in, in, you know, having a huge component of tourism and that being, you know, an important part of the economy. And also, there are places that, that, you know, that. you can go and that people do go where it is clear that those communities are not interested in tourists destroying the true nature, you know, of the culture.

I've spent quite a bit of time in Hana, which is the east tip of Maui. That's beautiful. Very, very special place and, you know, have gone there over the course of 30 years. And it's changed significantly, you know, in ways that I think touch on some of this. and I understand that I'm also part of that dynamic as a visitor. But, you know, there was just an article about, you know, unsolicited land offers, people trying to, quote, save, you know, save Hawaii as it struggles. And obviously, Hawaii is investigating because it's completely not appropriate and very complicated.

And I wonder if you can speak a bit about what it means and what in your prehist. perspective, your home needs in terms of like, what's the difference between support and people being proprietary? What's the difference between tourism and appreciating a culture and also not knowing where the boundaries are of respecting a culture? Yeah. That's such a complex. Thank you for that, my mom. That's such a complex situation. But the beauty of it all is local people are, very, very loving people. They're very, very inclusive. There's a, there's a term that, you know, we live, aloha.

And what that means is, if you need something, we'll give it to you. If you're hungry, we'll take you and we'll feed you. If you need clothes, we'll take the shirts off her back and give it to you. If you look, what's so beautiful about the news that you're seeing coming out of Maui is, there's a lot of residents that aren't Hawaiian. There's a lot of residents that are Caucasian, that are, that are Asian, but they're all considered islanders. They're all considered locals.

And it's, it kind of supports that ideology of Ohana, right? Like, we're all one. The issue that a lot of islanders have is when they, when, when people from the outside come in and they want to take. You see, our culture isn't a taking culture. Our culture is a giving. We'll give, give, give, give, give. And then once you take, it's like, oh, okay. Like, that is something that offends people in a lot of ways, right?

And so, unfortunately, there is this, there is this belief that people are always coming in and trying to take. And the number one thing that Hawaiians are drawn to and that are they're tied to is the land. That's the number one thing. And so what is sad that's been happening there is there have been companies that have tried to come in

and take advantage of a very, very sad situation. where from a local's point of view, it's like the only thing that you should be concerned about is how do we help those have lost everything. And it's kind of a weird place to be in Miami because there's a lot of people that are trying to help, but you don't know, like, are you wanting to help to help me or you want to help to better you?

So it's for both sides, right? It's for the locals to understand that, hey, not everybody is trying to take advantage. And for those that are helping, like if you do want to help, please do it in a very, very genuine way where it's kind of like how we talked about before helping out that little kid because you just don't want him to feel alone. Not because you want him to tell his parents and then his parents to tell you, it's nothing for your own personal gain. It's literally just for you because that's how Islanders were taught. Like I don't, I'm helping you for you. I want to show you, aloha.

I want to show you love because I want you to feel love. not for me. And so it's kind of a weird situation. But again, what's beautiful is when you see the people, Hawaiian, non-Hawaiian, coming together, getting supplies to the people by any means necessary, taking jet skis from boats and driving them over, you know, whatever it is.

There's, there's beauty in it all. I just hope and I pray that the families that have lost so much and there's so much unknown still, there's so many people missing still, that they get that closure that they need, they get the support and the love that they need. And then all of us, myself included that are on the outside, just whatever the people need. What do you need from us? Like how can we help you? Do you need this? Okay, we'll do it. I think that's the best way we can we can help them.

One, let them find the closure they need, let them find whatever piece they can get from a very horrible situation. And then based on their direction, okay, let me help you. Because Lahaina was such a beautiful place before, you know, and one of the beautiful things was it was one of the very few places left that was Kanaka driven. There was that culture that was still there, that was still strong, that was still prevalent there. And so they were doing beautiful before.

And so I know that they've given the opportunity, they can continue to do beautiful things in the future. And so how can I do my part in helping support them? I'm not saying it's like trying to be a peacemaker or whatever, but I don't see, I think ignorance is something that isn't specific to one culture. I know a lot of ignorant Polynesians. You know, so it did, everybody, we all just have to look at ourselves. And you said this earlier in the thing is we're all one people. We're all one race. We're a human race.

So there's, there's, I don't think there needs to be any space where, we're, for, where people are ignorant of the needs of somebody else. Right. And it's not just a white thing. It's not, there, a, a cultural thing at all. in my opinion, right? Miami is just, hey, let me help you understand. Let me help you. And if you don't understand, and if you don't want to understand, that is okay. Like that's, I will give you your space. I will let you see the world through the way you see it and do all. Because I, I'd rather live here. You know, I'd rather live in my world where I'm able to love and love as many people as I can. And regardless of race, regardless of religion, regardless of any of that, I love people who want to make this world a better place, whether you're Polynesian, whether you're Caucasian, whether you're a black person, whether you're Asian, whatever it is, I don't care.

If you want to do some good, I'm with you. I'm rocking with you to the end. And so, yeah, I'm, that's my team, I'm on that team. I'm on that team. I want to just close by telling you, and this is probably something that happened, I would imagine all over the world. I practice yoga and meditation, and we have a very awesome, groovy teacher who will often talk about, like, rooting yourself and like feeling grounded, which is like a very, you know, it's a concept in yoga practice. And when the fires were going on, when I would go to class, you know, we'd do this meditation at the end. And she would have us, like, direct our energy towards, you know, the people in Maui and people in Hawaii who were struggling and experiencing the impact of these fires. And in particular, she used the imagery of the banyan tree, you know, this beautiful, iconic, you know, a stunning tree. and she asked us to visualize like the roots and that our roots in some way, you know, connect on this planet

that we're all on, that our roots connect to the Banyan roots. And I'm thinking, like, lady, I'll do whatever, but like, I don't know. And then, you know, shortly after she announced in our meditation that she had seen on the news that day that there was evidence that the Banyan tree was starting to sprout and starting to have life. And so while I don't know what, what I believe. It was just a really, it was a fascinating connection, you know, that shows that even conceptually, you know, we can feel united and connected, you know, even in ways like that,

even in a yoga meditation class. So I really appreciate you talking about this. I also am aware that you don't speak for all Hawaiians. You don't speak for all Samoans. But I do appreciate you speaking about, you know, your home state and, you know, the culture that you were raised in. And I think It's just, it's so clear. It's those roots, you know, are in everything. So thank you so much for being here. It's really, really a pleasure to talk to you. And we wish you only good things with your growing family as well.

Take care. God bless. It's my and Bialyx breakdown. She's going to break it down for you. She's got a neuroscience PhD or two. One, fiction. And now she's going to break down.