Mayim Bialik's Breakdown - Matthew McConaughey: Love Hard

Episode Date: August 31, 2021

Matthew McConaughey (Dazed and Confused, Dallas Buyers Club, Greenlights author) takes us on an electrifying journey through his intriguing life, from his intense childhood in which his parents divorced and remarried each other three times, to surviving off a head of lettuce with ketchup in Australia, to his current ambitions considering a run for political office. Matthew details his life-changing quests sparked by having the same wet dream twice and how he puts himself in positions to receive divine, prophetic messages from the universe. He explains why his dad was proud of him for getting into a bar fight, why he cries during births and not deaths, and why his son creates Powerpoint presentations to illustrate why Matthew is wrong. Mayim and Matthew discuss parenthood, and Matthew opens up about the sense of immortality he felt at the birth of his first child. Mayim breaks down binding anxiety and the science behind having gratitude. Matthew McConaughey's Greenlights Book: https://greenlights.com/#book Matthew McConaughey's just keep livin Foundation: https://jklivinfoundation.org/ BialikBreakdown.com YouTube.com/mayimbialik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I don't think I would have had that courage if I wouldn't have got the clarity from the one event that I talked about. Because when they said, call us mom and pop. I was able to plant my flag, have another binding anxiety and turn it into action and go, I'm binding this. No, I'm not calling you mom and dad. I have a mom and dad. I go, thank you for thinking of me that way. It's very polite. And I felt I need to contextualize that.

I went, and they're still alive. It's not unlike being hit on by someone and being like, I appreciate you'd like to have sex with me, but I have a girlfriend and she's alive. It's Miami-Bi-R-Lic's breakdown. She's going to break it down for you because you know she knows a thing or two. And now she's going to break down. All right, all right. I'm Hyam Bialik. And welcome to my breakdown.

The place where we break things down. So you don't have to. It's a very exciting day. a lot of very exciting days. But first, I'd like to introduce you to the most grateful man I've ever met, Jonathan Cohen. Hi, I'm. I'm not sure about the cadence of that opening. All right. Right. Right. No, still no. Still no. That's right. We're going to have Matthew McConnorahe on today to talk with us. I don't even want to read this man's bio because he's Matthew McConaughey, he's amazing. You should read his bio. Also, I should have been introduced

as the most dazed and confused man. That goes without saying. Or the Lincoln lawyer, Jonathan Cohen. I don't even know what to say. This is, like, legit, a person who I don't even know if he knows who I am or who you are. He definitely doesn't know who I am. Okay. I don't know what favor we did. Or who owed who what to get this man on our show. But my publicist, Heather Bezignano, is from Texas, and I think this was her thing. So Heather, thank you. He's an Academy Award winner. This is his book, Green Lights, which is a really, really visually, lovely, fun, interesting, really journey through his life. There's all these pictures.

He mostly doesn't have a shirt on, which I think is a thing Jonathan will talk about later. Academy Award winner, Matthew McConaughey is a married man, a father of three, and a loyal son and brother. He considers himself a storyteller by occupation. He thinks it's okay to have a beer on the weight at the temple, feels better with a day's sweat on him, and is an aspiring orchestral conductor. He has a foundation that he founded with his wife, Camilla, called the Just Keep Living Foundation. He's a professor.

He's got many things he does. He's also an owner of Austin FC. He also co-created his favorite bourbon. And yes, he's the Lincoln guy. He sold more Lincoln's than any other person. He's been in a ton of movies, and I've seen some of them. And we're going to talk about it. We want to just get right into it.

Make sure to follow us on Instagram. If you like this, go ahead and like it, subscribe. Let's talk to Matthew McConaughey. What? Break it down. So, do you have any idea who we are? I have somewhat of an idea. Well, we can't believe that you're here talking to us.

And I was thinking, what favor did he have to do to come speak to us? Did they do any favors? There's something I don't know about, Jonathan. Do you know anything about that maybe I did that I don't know that I did? It was a long campaign. It was pressure from all sides to get him here. We had deep-seated spies in Texas gathering dirt. Not me. And I didn't even know what it was. That's what I assumed. So where do we begin? I read this book. It's called Green Lights. Not surprised that it is a number one New York Times bestseller. You know, one of the things that kind of struck me is it is not a classic memoir, you know, in the sense that people often think of a memoir.

It really is kind of a journey into your journey, as it were. I guess I wanted to sort of start with these two wet dreams you had. Thank goodness. I wouldn't be sitting there talking to you right now if I didn't have those two wet dreams. That's true. Now, you had two dreams that sent you on two separate and very specific journeys in your life. Was it the same dream twice? That's why.

Right. It's the same dream. Exactly same view. I have this dream in 1993. Whoa, I woke up. That was a wet dream. Boy, the elements of that dream do not add up to a typical wet dream. What was that about? Oh, okay. Okay, another thing that I related to you with because I sometimes have dreams like that, but they're not sexual. It's just like a thing and it's happening. But none of them take me the place as you're doing. As long as we can. It's so weird. Okay, go ahead. I shut up. So then I have the dream again, exact same dream, exact same outcome. Frame the dream was the exact same frame for frame 11 seconds. Bam. Well, it's the second time that I go in 1996, four years later that I go, whoa.

That was the exact same dream of the same outcome. That's a sign. That's telling me something. I got to chase that down. That's when I went off and chased down Peru because the two things in the dream were the Amazon River and African tribesmen. And that was my geographical point. So then I think my dream's over. I've chased it down.

Cut to three years later in 1999, I had the dream the third time, which tells me I got to chase down the second half, which was the African tribesman. And I haven't had it since. If I have it again... You might have it tonight, Matthew. You might have it tonight. I hope so. But if I have it again, I don't know what the hell I'll be chasing. I'm just going to go back and enjoy it.

Revel in the post. Well, and one of the other things that I really liked about your book and also kind of about your perspective is you come from a religious consciousness that's very infused in kind of the culture that you grew up in, meaning it's not overtly Christian. It's not overtly dogmatic. You have a lot of appreciation for a lot of different practices and a lot of different kind of traditions. But, you know, this kind of experience is a very mystical, spiritual, profound experience. And I mean, in another culture, in another time, we would call you a prophet. So was there some element that you felt of like personal?

prophecy or like how yeah how do you kind of frame that i took it as a direct line from the world the prime move uh the way make uh whatever we want to call it the uncas cause whatever i took it as a direct line of truth a lightning boat that was saying i knew it was specific and only for me and originally for me i knew that this was not something i was going to go share hey have you ever had this dream with this outcome i knew it was an original experience that i had no one had said hey, one day you might have this dream. And if you do listen to it, it was mine and mine only and my so I sat there and after the second time said, okay, what I got to listen to this. I got to heed this call. I've never had something so specific. If the dream would have been similar to the first one with the

same outcome, I probably wouldn't have done anything about it. But it shook my floor because it took me back to the time I had the first time. And it was exactly every detail, every frame. I remember it's 11 frames like a movie. One second, two second, three. And I, and I, I remember all the angles, angles, angles, 11 of them, 11 seconds, ejaculation, wake up. Whoa, hey, how about that? What was that little kiss? Was that for me? Sure. That little kiss was, wow, you know, going, all the elements of that dream sound like a nightmare.

But they weren't. They were the opposite. Oh, okay. Flip the script on that. I like this version. So then what is it? Yeah, that's why I chase. And did I feel like it was a, yeah, a prophetic call for me to go follow? Yes. What other, have you had other specific feelings like that? Actually, I was interviewed this morning and I was asked to identify some of the most spiritual experiences I've ever had. And I had my second son at home.

And I remember that was a very, very singular, mystical, spiritual, like, transcendental kind of experience. Are there other things that you've experienced like that? You know, are you a person that you feel? like, oh, I'm in touch with something. I have access to that or it just kind of drops in? I mean, look, I've had different original particular, singular experiences on, usually on my own when I'm off on one of those trips where I put myself in a place so that those truths can land, you know, and you can hear them. Like I say, though, they hit you. It's like soft as a butterfly,

but it's a fucking lightning bolt at the same time. And you go, whoa, I can't unwrite that. that's talking to me and I need to heed that. Look, first child born, that was a biggie for me. I remember I was like, to myself, I was like, I just became immortal. Biologically, so. But even more than that, I was like, okay, this is it. This is what I've dreamed of being all my life, not immortal, but a father. And here we go.

I've had, look, I don't know why I cry at birth and not death. I don't know why I cry when I hear the story. story about the person getting out of jail that was wrongly prosecuted and finds his freedom, but I don't cry at the death of something. The birth, springtime of things just light me up. And that's so, and I've been told that's odd. I look around and no one else is crying. And then when they're at the funeral, I'm not crying. And maybe that's me, maybe that is part of the faith belief as well, because I don't think it's over in this life. Although I don't know. I believe it's not. And so something about like, oh, great.

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mention my and Bialek's breakdown to help support the show. Describe a really interesting time that you had. Was it the year between high school and college when you went to Australia? Oh, Australia. I bet you love that story. I loved a lot of things about that story. So you're a very adventurous spirit, and I know that sounds really trite, but, you know, really so much of your life, you know, as you tell it, has been marked by, I mean, you kind of call them green lights, you know, but sort of finding openings, you know, where sometimes things have seemed closed.

You know, I think that sounds like it was an element of your personality, but this particular experience you had in Australia. my favorite part of the story, I think, was your description about getting there, where you're picturing, like, I'm going to have this great time in Australia, and like the car just keeps going. And it's like you described all the kinds of roads you drive on before you just get to shitty dirt. And it's like, you just kept going and the population signs kept getting smaller and smaller. And, you know, I mean, there's a lot of humor to it. But, you know, as someone trained as a neuroscientist and someone who's been really immersed in. mental health and, you know, I grew up with mental illness also in my home. And so, you know,

what I heard and what I saw was an unraveling, you know, that you went through at a very critically important time in your life. And you're kind of, not just because you're, you're many people's image of like the American man. You have to understand, my grandparents were about three feet tall and three feet wide. And you embody, like, America to us. Like, we came from the Scheddels to meet men like this, you know? So, like, I picture you, you know, like, ready to have. You know, have this journey in Australia, but your transition from high school to college was also one of tremendous challenge. And you ended up, I mean, you took on a very interesting, strict vegetarian diet because you said you craved discipline. You were depressed, my friend, and you

were trying to make sense of insanity. I needed some measurement of achievement a day, And eating that head of lettuce with a half a bottle of Heinz ketchup pulled up poured over it gave me a sense of accomplishment. Run those six miles a day, even though I was losing on the weight, gave me a sense of accomplishment. To say out to be celibate, yet still go masturbate in the bathtub every night. Gave me a sense of accomplishment. I needed these sort of measuring sticks to go, I did that today. I followed through on that because the world was chaos. Right.

Well, that's, and we call that binding anxiety. I mean, you were finding all sorts of ways to kind of make it make sense. I don't mean to get all, you know, fancy on you. But, you know, it's like, finding anxiety. She loves a good label. I love a good label. There's a tremendous courage to you. Like, there's all these situations that you found yourself in, especially as a young man,

where you kind of asserted this courage that kind of seems like it was driven from some other power in you. Meaning when you had to ask to be removed from that home, right? Like, that's a tremendous sense of courage. And I think about your father and you paint a really. fascinating picture of this man. But I think about sort of the ethics that you were, you know, sort of raised with. You're really like, you're a very classic hero's journey kind of guy. Like, when I think of Joseph Campbell and the hero's journey, like, I picture your story, not the Matthew McConaughey that like, you know, is famous and that like we see on the red

carpet and all these things. But like, this story that you tell is one of really finding yourself and your courage. A lot of it is around masculinity, but I don't find you toxic. So I'm curious, kind of how you frame that sort of courage, especially because you are this very masculine dude and you're also a very thoughtful and very dedicated, sensitive artist. I know that's kind of a lot of questions in one, but talk a little bit about some of these journeys

that you had. Well, let's go to that Australia one. To get the courage to say, to go to the Rotary Club and go to the president and go, hey, you think there's any other families I could live with? and then they go, hey, I don't know. I mean, is everything okay over there?

And to still take a higher road and go, yeah, yeah, everything's fine, which it wasn't. But, you know, I just, I've got my year here. Can I experience another family? I don't think I would have had that courage if I wouldn't have got the clarity from the one event that I'd talk about in the book is when they said, call us mum and pup. And at that point, the prior four months of all the wild shit that they had come up with that I was like going, okay, I'll do that. It's a cultural difference.

That one was clear to me. I was able to plant my flag, have another binding anxiety, and turn it into action, and go, I'm binding this. No, I'm not calling you mom and dad. I have a mom and dad. And I remember saying this,

I put this in the book, but I remember saying this thing. I would go, I go, thank you for thinking of me that way. It's very polite. But I have a mom and dad, and I remember it going through my head, clear.

And I go, and I felt I need to contextualize that. I went, and they're still alive. For some reason, I felt I need to throw it out there that that would really bolster my argument. It's not unlike being hit on by someone and being like, I appreciate you'd like to have sex with me, but I have a girlfriend and she's alive. And she's sitting right here. Yeah, so that moment was a moment that I needed. Because, again, I talk about up to that point, all the confusion, the things that they want me to do that I didn't know was right. I was tabbing up to cultural differences.

I didn't have anybody to bounce. it off of like is this cool yeah I don't know I didn't have that I didn't have friends all I have is the paper that I was writing on so that moment to have the clarity and go I'll bet I'm betting on myself here I'm this is black and white this is not a shade of gray I'm not compromising on this I'm going forward going no I'm not calling you mom and dad and I'm sticking to it and I don't care if I'm wrong I may end up broke I don't care I'm different well that gave me the courage thing go I'm gonna try and get out of here and move in with another family I'm not gonna go

I'm not going to pull the parachute and get the flight home, but I'm at least going to try and get out of this house. I don't know. I mean, it gave me to go back to the ethics and ethos of certain the religious underbelly. Responsibility, courage, or kind of we're ingrained in there and us and go, you better go take care of yourself. That was part of the masculinity, step up to the initiation, go through the initiation, how long can you endure it? Can you step up and go, I am the only, I'm standing for this, and I may be the only one standing for this, but I'm going, I'll go by hook or by crook. That was a big thing for my father. You read another rites of passage that I have for him. He just wanted to see that if I had the courage to stand up for myself in certain situations. We call it Footspah in my family. Footspa, all that, the metal, whatever it's called that.

Did I have it to stand up for myself when I was alone and everyone else disagreed? That was a right of passage for him. In a way, you bring it up, I performed it over there in a couple ways in Australia. and then literally performed it with him with that bar fight. Oh, that bar fight. He wasn't happy that I was a fighter. He was just happy that I did something on my own, that I made the choice on my. So let's talk a little bit about the bar fight.

Like I said, there's something very not toxic, sort of about the way that you talk about, you know, this kind of structure of how you were raised. And I resonate with it a lot because the culture that I come from is very, very patriarchal. There's a lot of, there's a lot of, because dad, said so and dad decides and dad puts cash on mom's dresser every week and that's the cash she has for the week and you know like you know is very old-fashioned but this bar fight I remember what struck me and probably because I do feel a little bit like we're similar it was that someone

put their hand on your dad when they weren't supposed to I remember seeing almost the the fingers go from outstretched to compressed slightly against his chest and I was like that was trespassing that was get out the guards we're going and the next thing i knew i'm getting pulled off hearing a voice in my head going that's enough son that's enough and that that's like where it got me when he said that's enough son because like it's such a it's such a fascinating moment and it's not that that's the only way that you could show connection or love but you know this portrait that you paint of your dad he was a very specific man you know he was very specific and very definitive your mom was too your parents were twice divorced and then they married each other.

Three time. Right. Were you at any of the ceremonies? I was trying to figure out the timing. Okay. So the first time they got divorced was like within a year, right? Pretty soon after, yeah, early 50s. Right.

Okay. And then the second one? Like 1977-ish. Okay, got it. At a time when I was living in the trailer park with that and thought mom was on the extended vacation. Oh, yeah. Yeah, she's taking some time.

you grew up with a certain amount of drama, right? I mean, there was a, I mean, we didn't call it that then. It was just- We didn't call it that and we didn't give it the credit to call it drama. Right. What, I mean, what was it? You know, I described like unpredictable, predictability was my house. You know, it was predictable chaos is kind of how it felt sometimes.

Do you have sort of, you know, just for people who may not know, and a lot of it is in the book, but, you know, you're one of three boys. Yeah, what was it like? What did it feel like? love hard. Look, I didn't include, and my mom, it's what she doesn't like, what she didn't take well about the book. She was like, all the stories are true about me and your dad,

and yeah, my middle fingers broke four times from him doing that, and I deserved every one of them, and that's how I needed to communicate. She goes, but she could have included more stories about how loving we were and how many times we were hugging it out, and I go, you're right, and I didn't. And that was 98% of the time. We were lover than out. I didn't include those because for me, these stories, I think, this is the best I can come up with it, why I choose to tell these stories as the love stories from my family.

They were when the love was tested the most. You thought it was going to break down. I thought it was over. Objectively, you would think it was over. I never thought it was over when I watched the fight when mom pulls out the knife. I never thought that was the end. I thought, oh, here we go. I mean, when the cops come, sometimes that's just.

How the evening ends. And they didn't, you know, they handled it right there because, but it was always, it was drama looking back at it. But again, at the time, was I crying? Was I, oh, my God, no, no. If I'd been on my dad's back when he, you know, had my brother pinned to a ceiling, you know, this feet kicking going, stop it, dad, stop it. Yeah, but what do I remember? I remember that he had Pat up there because Pat lied to him. And once Pat got up, which is about off the floor about five minutes later,

I remember him going to slow in the truck, boys. Me and my brother and my dad rode in the front cab in the bench seat, me in the middle, windows halfway down, radio, half off frequency, AC on, drove to the all the way across town it was 45 minutes to the best burger stand there was in town and it was a school night it was after bed time but it didn't matter we're getting doubles and you can have a milkshake that's what i remember that it always ended with the love the love always ended and there was never another word talk there was no grudge there was never a remember what we said yesterday it was over it's quick lethal and over you're a dad you're a parent and that shit doesn't fly anymore right

and you say something really specific. I literally said to Jonathan, I don't want to mention anything he mentions in the first two pages of his book because he'll think I didn't read every single word, and I did. But you mention that you don't identify as a victim. But in the language of today, right?

We would say, Matthew, you were traumatized. That's a traumatizing experience. And I wonder, now that you're a dad and especially, you know, you're a progressive person and, you know, how do you frame that as a dad? because I do raise my kids differently than I was raised. I mean, my children's, like, I also did something. Matthew, here's another thing you don't know about me.

I recently wrote a screenplay, and I directed my first film, and it stars Dustin Hoffman and Candice Bergen, and also Simon Helberg and Diana Agron, and I wrote a story about a family that is struggling, with mental illness and with loving hard, one could say. And yes, there are absolutely things from my life. I do not want my mother to see it. She has not read it.

We've already had several fights and a few therapy sessions about why I don't feel the need for her to see it for some of the reasons you kind of talked about. But the things that I live through, they don't need to be repeated that way because we do live in a different time and I have a different experience. It doesn't mean I demonize my parents or my childhood. But I absolutely know that I was to a certain extent conditioned with fear because that's how we were raised. And it, quote, works. It works. And it's a choice that I make to try not to do that with my kids, right? But at the same time, I don't want them to feel like everything about the way I was raised was shitty and wrong and it was bad and they traumatized me.

These were complicated people who fucking did the best that they could. And like that's kind of what it looked like. You know, they did better than was done to them. And, you know, my grandparents fled Eastern Europe. Everybody was just doing the best that they could. And my parents did the best that they could. And you're absolutely right. The story that I tell is much more interesting when I dig into the hard stuff.

And I dig into that complexity and the conflict and that tension. And one of the notes I got from my director's cut was, this abuse seems gratuitous. And I was like, oh, well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that it makes you uncomfortable. But I wonder sort of what your perspective is as a dad. How do you frame that with your own kids? Well, my mother's been living with this now for 18 months because of COVID.

Yeah, she is. And she's about to turn 90. And, you know, like you said, I didn't grow up. We grew up. Why? Because I told you so. That's right. And fear-based.

And I write about this way. Are there things I didn't do that I shouldn't have done for fear that, oh, that ass weapon might hurt more than how much I'm going to enjoy doing this? Yes. And I'm glad I didn't. They were I had other friends that did. I knew there were consequences on the other side. And that helped keep me in line.

certain ways. I didn't fear random, especially from my dad. I didn't fear any random. Like I said, every time I got in trouble, gosh, dogged, I look back. I knew it at the time. I'd earned it. I knew it. I knew I'd earned it. When I opened my mouth and something fresh came out, I knew it was coming back. You know, I, you know, I've tried to evolve as a parent, too. I don't, as you see the book, I don't judge my parent how they did it is right or wrong or oh, you can't do it that way anymore. I'm trying to instill the same values my parents tried to instill it in us. I try to do it in different ways. Do we have long or much longer discussions with our kids? Yes. Do we choose not

to do the... Oh, they have so many feelings children today. They got so many... I said you think anyone asked me where I'd like to eat out? We ate out once a month and you went wherever they told you and you ate everything on the plate. You don't feel like Chinese food? And no corn does not count as a vegetable in the line at Luby's cafeteria. Yeah. So I, I, we have, trying to instill the same values, don't really do physical punishment and consequences. It's tough figuring out what do you take from them that they love to make them think, oh, I do you know, I got my screen time taken away. Why? Because I did this. Or I told this favor didn't follow. It's tough figuring those things out. It doesn't make sense to them. If I fibbed, why you take away my screen time? Yeah, what's the math? The math doesn't add up.

I used to say, how do you stop hitting? I can't cut off your hands. Like, I don't know what the logical consequence is. Don't hit your brother. Cut it out. I hear you. Or you get hit back. Wow, that hurt.

Yeah, exactly. That's right. You know, and it's quicker that way. And it's immediate. And it sure as hell is more than it can be at least an attention getter. Camilla and I are trying to do it different than my parents did or even her parents did. And are we doing it better? I don't know.

We'll see how it gets. get out there and negotiate me and my two brothers have done all right, you know, with how my and my older brothers had it rougher than I did. I was the baby boy. I was more than mama's boy. I didn't, I didn't, I didn't have it as rough as probably as they did. Well, that's what they say. I would say I learned to break the rules and get away with shit better. But, you know, I mean, I'm already in this time now where my kids are 13, 11, and 8. Well, you start off, there's a, there's a rule that every kid follows. That's it. Everyone follow the same rule. Then all of a sudden, they got becoming their own little people.

And you got to go, wait, I'm going to treat you fairly, but I'm not going to treat you all the same. Because I know you, sir, if you forgot to feed the dogs, you actually looked at the empty dog ball and said, but I know you, dear, you looked at the dog, you didn't look at the dog, you just freaking forgot. So the same consequence is not for you because yours wasn't intentionally, you know, you didn't intentionally walk away from it and not do it.

So I'm trying to customize those, how do we teach them? We are big on consequences and also big on the definition of consequences. It gets a bad rap as always being the bad. Yep. Consquins are equal amount of being the good, the pleasure as well. We are a pretty disciplined family. We like our, we like, I like the manners and graces that my parents caught me with. I like sirs and maims and please and thank you.

Yeah, I don't let my kids call any adult by their first name. Freaks me out. They are miss or mister? It's, it's a, it's a, it's a great thing of. respect. I even call my kids, Mr. and Mrs. Now, just to get in the lingo going back and forth, calling them out of respect. So we try to give them more agency. We listen to more debates than my parents would have listened to.

Holy moly, will they stop talking some days? It's like, I understand you have feelings, but that doesn't mean that they win. Yes, I understand you're in terrible psychic pain that they don't have the sweet potato fries. But I'm not going to another restaurant. You're just not. going to have fries tonight. I know. Yeah. Just not going to happen. Oh, now it's over. Now the whole night sucks. Really? Because no sweet potato fries. The sweet potato fries became more important than our time together is. Then you go, then you find yourself. And it's past bedtime and you're up late. And you're going on, as you know, to say no is it a hell of a lot harder than saying yes. Oh, totally.

Keeps you up at night. And all of a sudden, it's getting into your time with your spouse. It's getting time with your partner. They're staying up late. So we, you know, another one, we've tried here recently is like one of the one of the kids doesn't listen to the rules okay I'm gonna walk running ignore you for a day why because you ignored me Jonathan does that to me I mean it's it's it's a quiet but but good one it's silent but deadly literally yes yes you know why didn't I why didn't I why didn't I get a plate set oh didn't know you were here eating why why why And you know how long that conditioning takes? One day.

That's a one day lesson. I hope so. But yeah, I'm trying to evolve and do it differently than my parents did. And again, with no judgment to saying that they did it wrong, you explain with your parents, I would use the same verbiage for mine. They did it the best they could. And their intentions were right. And I know that it was really important to my mom and dad to go, we got 18 years to help you get ready to go negotiate life. and life's a bitch.

Civilization's hard. Not everyone's for you. It's thorny out there. You're going to need a helmet. You're going to have to stand up for yourself. And so, you know, to what extent, a lot of that worked. One of your kind of earliest thoughts, you know, about sort of where you see your life, I mean, there's some really, there's some really sweet actual tidbits in your handwriting,

which I really loved, and I love trying to decipher your, you know, your scribbles and stuff, especially when you really kind of got going. But you wanted to be a dad. You knew you wanted to be a dad. Is it what you imagined? How's it different? How's it the same? When I had the first child, and I write about this,

I don't know how it is for the mother, but for the father, the man's never more masculine in that time. He has his first child. Again, for me, I was like, I'm immortal. Like, literally, biologically, wow. I am now, immediately now, inherently, instinctually, living for the future, where yesterday I wasn't. I am a shepherd.

I'm a postman. And wherever I go out in the world, they may not be with me physically, but I got them right here. And my decisions are based on consideration for them to and their future. Second thing that I was really surprised me, which I think a lot of parents run into this, is I thought it was a lot more environment.

Yes. Than it was DNA. It's a lot of DNA. Oh, DNA is the chance. Okay. Biology. I got, I'm all for the giddyup, but the giddy up ain't beating the biology. Okay, they are who they are. You know, we can shepherd them, inform them, give them, lay in front of them, what turns them on,

and try to keep from them what may really harm them and show how that feels good to them and how it's good for them and hopefully good for others. But boy, you know, other than that, they are, you know, you teach them. My buddy says, what, you teach them how to read and write and literacy after that. You don't know if they're a petunia or an oak tree. I mean, you, they, DNA, they are who they are. And that was a big surprise for me as a parent. I've heard that surprise to a lot of parents that I came in thinking it was a lot more like

what we do as parents. Which is not to say you shouldn't pay attention and be there. Oh, absolutely not. No, you don't just go, okay. Yeah, absolutely. But, you know, especially as they get older and I said early, I'll treat you fairly, but not all the same. I see three different, completely different individuals now where when they're younger and

They're more of a young, you know, marshmallows. We want to call marshmallows. They're, you know, you're trying to teach and block and tackle and do the industry. You kind of get up and eat and clean up after yourself, that kind of thing. Now it's very specific for you. Do you have one that's a mini you? Do you have a mini me? The boys, Camilla, it's easy for Camilla, my wife to say.

And she says, did you see that? I'm like, yeah, right. She's like, what are you? Yeah, right? That's you. And I see it in both of them a lot in completely different ways. Eldist, very much a perfectionist, very much wants and is very clear about what he wants and has incredible debates about it. Take the coffee table with the microphone and has a slight show.

And you're like going, damn, that's a good argument. That's not what we decided to do. That's a great presentation. So he's got that to do whatever. or crook to get what he wants and has the marketeering sort of side, the salesman side. I got another one that's really wonderfully stubborn. They're both wonderfully stubborn. And I'm well, you know, you want to walk that line, I think, with kids I tried to to go,

I'm glad you're a perfectionist because you're clear on what you want. At the same time, understand that you, the world can do unto you and you can also be open. We were just having a conversation a minute ago about something about it. You've got to try to, can, do you have the ability to hop into the opposite opinion? And just understand it. And just sitting in it. I know what you're doing. You're getting scared thinking, well, if I think of that opinion as a possibility,

that means I'm weakening my, no, I'm not trying to convert you. But can you jump over? And that's something that kids learn to do. And adults are still learning to do, to talk about it, frankly. So, yeah, I see a lot of myself and them. And if I don't, my wife reminds me that. Yeah. That was you.

I'd like to talk about what's behind you, because what I see is just stacks of money. Is that just stacks of money behind you? You're the second person who said, you see it, how much money? back there. Is that just how you do your interviews? Just like... Me and Floyd Mayweather, thank you. But there are two flags behind you. I believe that is the flag of the United States of America.

And is that the flag of the Great State of Texas? That is. Where are you? Are you in the Capitol building? I'm in my office in Austin. And those are stacks of money. Now, those are actually Greenlight Books. Are you serious?

That's amazing. Yeah, I love that symbol. Under the cover. Take the cover. Yeah, that's what I was noticing. The symbols, that's what's cool right there. So I want, that's my, you know, I was looking for my Nike swoosh with the book. And that's, and I've always said this.

That's why I made that cover with my face on it, three quarters, hopefully to tell the reader, pull my face off the thing and look under it. I mean, if I had a nickel for every time I said, sorry. Okay. Sorry. Jesus. I think I'm your new brother from another mother. I think Woody Harrelson needs to move over.

Scoot over, Wood. So do you talk, I mean, we can completely edit this out if not, but do you talk about some of the buzz surrounding your... Oh, so please tell it. I would vote for you for president, but there's a couple steps before that, correct? Logically, maybe. You do have political inclinations, as it were. Is this something you talk about?

I have leadership inclinations. And less than inclination, I feel like I'm being pulled that way. I feel like it's when my, you know, my Saturday night 2 a.m. buzzed ideas go to places where I look at and go, that's, that's, I think that'd be good for people. I think that'd be useful. It's my natural free association. It goes to things naturally and has been for quite a few years now. I don't know what that category embassy is going to be.

Do I need to consider politics? for that? Well, I'd be foolish not to. Yeah. But it's in a way, politics got to repurpose, redefine because it's some small thinking right now. It's both each party thinks they are democracy. And they're not. And then democracy still needs continual redefinition and needs its own challenging. So I'm looking and I'm going through my own process now and have been diligently of going, well, what is my amsy? What is my way forward? What is it? How can I be most useful? Not only to most amount of people, but to me and my family as well, because it's got to be a selfish decision. It's a very personal decision that would come with great sacrifice. But I'm trying to measure that.

Where would I be most useful to myself, my family, and the most amount of people? Now, would there be politics? I don't know. It's a bit of a broken business that needs a lot of repair right now. And as I said, redefinition. Am I the right person to do that? Is that sort of the task? Are you asking me? Consider it? I'm asking that you do. Are you asking? Are you asking? for her as to running mate? I would be your... It's a binding anxiety. Oh, stop it.

Never going to let me live it down. Oh, Matthew. When I see you at all our red carpet parties, you'll say, binding anxiety. You do a lot of really interesting, also other things. You do hold a professorship, as it were. What is your time commitment for that? Like, how often do you do that?

It's very... It works with me very well. I have a professor that's in their daily name Scott Rice, who really has taken my baton of the class. created and runs it day to day. I go by the classes in person and or I zoom. I'm able to zoom in more to talk to the class. What we do is take, it's called script to screen. We'll take, like your, your movie you just directed. You put up your original script next to your movie. Wow. They're very different. Right? So what we do is we'll go, I would say come to you and go,

I have a class, it's a full semester. Can you share your first script? And with notes about, here's what I have. What? Then the kids get up and they declare. Here's what movie I see. Here's the drama. Here's the things. You hand him the second script. Wait, what happened to so-and-so?

What are these changes? Do we know why? You hand them the third. You hand them the shooting script. That's amazing. Then you show them a first assembly. Now, they think they're going on. I'm literally in the final cut.

I'm editing literally in the next room before I got here. I was editing and that's what I'm going to do later today. I'm literally, I just did my first cut and working on my second. And it's a complete, I'm totally making the actors do everything I wanted that they didn't do in person. But it's a totally different. movie, yeah. Then you talk about that. And it's just the many ways to skin the cat. Like every movie, how do you, because, you know, I was in film school and I thought it was a dictatorship. I thought, oh, you make a film. It has to be every word for word. The intentionality has to be super clear.

Well, I was closed off to magic and inspiration. Then I go work with Richard Link later. And he's very much like, we'll take an idea from anywhere. And I was like, oh, you can get great ideas and be open to inspiration anywhere along the way. And I saw a completely different way of making movies and a much more successful way. So it's a class that shows, puts the science behind the magic of how we get, how we tell stories. That's beautiful. And I also do want to mention your just keep living foundation. Tell us, tell us about it because we're going to post, you know, links and stuff so people can learn more about it. We have an after school curriculum in Title I schools. Title I schools are lower income schools through the United States. We're in a little over 40 schools in, I think,

nine states. I have a curriculum on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and these young men and women come and they set a physical exercise goal, which may be I want to make the soccer team, but I can't run half a mile. It may be I want to lose three pounds so I can fit my prom dress in two months. Whatever that is, we're going to help you kind of get that. We had nutritional goals. Hey, you went and spent 42 bucks on burgers last night? Great. We're all for burgers, but we're going to take you and your mom or your dad to the supermarket with the same 42 bucks. We're going to walk down the produce section, grab some beans, maybe some meat. We're going to come home, have a healthier dinner, and you get to cook it with your family.

We also have community service. They all have to give back to their community, and then the final sort of halo over our curriculum is gratitude. The students share something out loud they're thankful for in their life with each other. And as you know, your neuroeducation, sharing what you're thankful for when you're in high school ain't cool. So these kids thought that when we first start off, they were like, I'm thankful to just the foundation, blah, blah, blah, blah.

They mumbled stuff. And then off the time, I was like, ah, they're feeling this is really heavy, that they have to tell something dramatic and real. And Camilla and I went one day, and I was like, got to me. And I was like, I'm thankful I woke up this morning. I got a French kiss from my wife right when I woke up.

And they all went, ooh, ah, but it opened the floodgate. And it made them go, oh, I'm happy Halloween's coming. I'm going to get candy. I'm happy. I'm feeling sexy today. Now, once that happened, they started to share things like that. My grandmother got out of the hospital. that my dad got a job, that my sister's now helped.

And they share it. And the coolest thing we've heard about it is kids say their favorite thing about the gratitude circle is that for the first time in their life, they're hearing their peers say thank you for something that they have in their life that they've never said thank you for. So that's what we're doing. That's really beautiful. We have a little rapid fire set of questions. I thought we were in that. Okay.

Such a comedian. All right. Rapid fire questions. What was your mom? My mother right about? My mother was right about the fact that there's great value in denial if you really commit to it. Take it to your grave. Holy Toledo.

What was your father right about? In an intimate time, he told me this when I was 12. We were having our birds and bees off. He said, you're going to be at an intimate time with the girl. You're going to like a girl. You're going to get off. You're going to get off. have some time together. You are going to kiss and it may go further than that.

May move to here. We talked about it. And he goes, it may carry on. He goes, those are the stages that that intimacy goes through. He goes, when you're with whoever that girl is, if you feel them hesitate, don't go any further. He goes, and he goes, and what happens if you don't go any further is they may even go, oh, yeah, no, it's okay. Don't. Wait till next time. And then, But if there's a reflex to stop the forward momentum of the intimacy, stopped then, live to love another day. And it was a good one when I think back about it. Nice.

When I'll share with my kids. Location you've been in that promotes the best mental health for you. I love desert. I love the desert. You have a lot of little sayings. You're so Southern. But what's your favorite mantra? My favorite mantra, let me give you a real Southern one.

Because this came from the southern land. There's going to be a lot of apostrophies in this. There's going to be a lot of, there won't be any G's on the end of any of the I-Ns. The Gs are all behind you, Matthew. They're lined up on that table. All the Gs, me and Floyd, money, make them a load of them out. Lopus truck is out front.

Mantra. If there's one thing you can depend on people being, it's people. Perfect. Who has been your best spiritual teacher? Pastor Dave and Brother Christian. They are in your book. Who are you most competitive with?

Me. Last one, one of the really remarkable things that I loved in this book and that I love about you. I promise, I really learned so much about you from this book. And especially because I'm trained as an actor, but, you know, write and, you know, just directed for the first time. you have a tremendous sense of intuition. You have a tremendous sense of intuition and when you need to make a move when you feel something with most passion.

Your last rapid fire question, when has been your moment of your best and strongest intuition in your life? She was moving right to left from my eye line. The place was kind of fuzzy and not just because there was fake smoke coming from the floor. The Pila had in me had something to do with it.

There are these caramel arms that had a little bit of sheen on them, just a touch of humidity coming out of this turquoise dress. And I said, what is that? And as I said it, I started to get up, but then I said I was trying to catch her eye, and I waved to get her attention. And as I was waving to get her attention, I heard my mother in my 15-year-old ear going,

get your ass up, boy, and go introduce yourself to that woman. You don't wave this woman over there. And I went, yes, ma'am. and I got out when I went away to who's now the mother of my children and my wife, Knoll. That's beautiful. This has been an absolute pleasure. I don't know what favor you were repaying to come speak to us, but we are so thrilled. It's been a real honor to speak to you.

It was super fun and interesting. Let's do it again. You crack some good jokes. I make Matthew McConaughey, my best friend. I think Woody Harrelson is a little bit in the way. I think I make Matthew laugh more than Woody does. We should have a contest. We'll get both.

of them in the same room with you and see who does a better job. I'm very proud of myself. He did a great job. I barely have seen movies that he's in. I've seen like two movies, but I love them. I think I did a good job, not mentioning dazed and confused. If this man has not said, all right, all right, all right, every day for the last month, I don't even know what that is. Do it.

You do it. You do it. No, you do it. How do you say? All right, all right, all right. What do you do? That is not how it's done. All right, all right. You clearly haven't seen the movie.

I haven't, is that for, is that the Lingletter film? All right, all right, all right. That is, it cannot be how he says it. No, it's probably not it either. But that's a classic movie. It's unbelievable. He seems very famous. He has a very famous.

See, movie stars are very different than TV stars. I once saw Emma Stone on an airplane. She just has like an air about her. It's like, movie stars are different. He's just like, he's different. TV actors bring their lunchpails to work. Okay, pretend you're a movie star for a minute. I don't.

How does it? He's got very good posture. Very good posture. He's very confident. Like, I'm sure that he's got his moments, and I read his book. Like, he sure has his moments, but, like, I don't think he cries like I do. No one cries like you do. I mean, I don't mean to, like, fangirl out and be, like, starstruck, because the fact is,

look, let's just be honest. He's a person, just like you're a person, just like, you know, the person. experiencing homelessness when I drive off the freeway. Like, we're all just people. We're all just here. But he says it's very different because he's different. Well, he's composed. He hasn't, he has a very collected energy about him.

There's something very handsome about him besides just like, oh, he has classically attractive features. Like, you know, I hope people weren't upset or triggered by his, his and my conversation about masculinity because, you know, that is obviously a gendered term. And it's not just reserved for men. There are women who have masculine, like, it's totally good and all good. But he really is like a very, you know, he's America. I don't know that this is a fact, but he's one of the most photographed people with his shirt off.

That's not true. In tabloids, yeah. He is? There's a running joke that Matthew McConaughey never has a shirt on in pictures. Shut up! Kay, you don't go on the internet much. I don't do things. There's a lot of pictures of him here.

He does have his shirt off. I mean, if I had a body like that, I would never put on clothes. No, there's like, if you Google it, there's running jokes on late night. Oh, I didn't know. He never, like, he doesn't own shirts. And there's pictures of him and Woody without their shirts. They're like, totally, he's like the shirtless guy. I didn't know that. I mean, there's jokes that he had to, like, put a shirt on to drive his Lincoln. That's when he had the only time. Well, I saw him in Dallas Buyers Club, which is a really, really, a very significant, important film about HIV and a very specific time in, in history. And he, he, he played. is this unbelievable character.

And he actually talks about in the book, like, you know, at that time in his career, he was switching over from the movies that everyone knows Matthew McConae from to the movies that I know Matthew McConae from. And, like, no one thought he should make it. And he lost all this weight for the role. And, like, he's very, I didn't want to, like, talk acting. I mean, I wanted to talk everything with him,

but I don't know if method acting is something that he kind of talks about, but he really does talk about, like, being in character. And he has a story of something that he, like, didn't even study the script for this job because he, like, wanted to just, like be in it and then he gets to set and finds out he's supposed to speak Spanish and like give a whole monologue in Spanish. He's like, oh my gosh, like so much for like trying to be in the moment. But anyway, that's the like the shirtless image I have of him is from Dallas Byers Club

when he was, I mean, I think he was like 130 pounds or something like really, really, very, very thin. No, he, we didn't get to ask him about hair. There's a great anecdote in the book. Tell us about it. He was going to shave his head. He has amazing hair. He has beautiful hair. He was starting to lose it. No one believes that. That's what he said.

And he decided to shave it. It's also a wife's tail. And what was it? How did he phrase it? There was an Aboriginal handshake. And the man said, if two people believe, what is it? If two people believe something, like, it becomes true. Like, if they believe it deeply enough.

And then his hair was fine. So you're telling me that this could have been. prevented. We don't believe it enough that it's going to be okay. Oh, maybe it'll come back. What do we believe together enough that we're going to make it true? That we're going to last as a couple. But even that is like

no, there's a lot about his hair. In addition, you know, he like almost lost a job because of it and then like the director saw him in person was like, oh, just kidding, you're still stunning. Everything's fine. I do very highly recommend this book because he really, it's not a memoir like you think. and he really does cover, we didn't get into a tremendous amount of like mental health per se,

but I mean, all of our lives are a journey of mental health or of challenges, you know? And he has this running line of persistence and spontaneity and courage. And like, I don't know if he's fearless, but he lives as if he is fearless. I know that not everyone has the resources to be like, I had this dream about, you know, the Amazon and I'm going to go there. but, you know, he's done some beautiful things, and it's funny when we asked him about his Just Keep Living Foundation, when he opened his mouth, I was like, are we going to get like a little sound bite here, which is fine? But then when he started talking, I was like, this is a man who really is articulating solutions to some really prominent challenges, you know, at schools all over this country. And I really, I do. I admire that. I don't, it's not lips. I don't feel like it's lip service. Like, it's really, really lovely the things he was saying. He wasn't just like, where, giving money to support after-school programs. He was giving real examples. Like, I was very, very impressed by him.

And I know people are going to be like, he's just a rich celebrity. But no, I was really impressed by him. I made him blush. Can we talk about that? We can. He's clearly guided by a deep intuition. And we talked a little bit about spirituality

and being guided by sort of what he called a direct line and a direct line of truth. I think that's, like, clearly... I mean, it's a very religious concept. And I didn't want to poke him about it because I don't think. that this is the time of place. Because we're not friends like that yet. The next time he comes, we'll book two hours. I didn't want to, I didn't want to poke that. Not now. He said let's do it

again. I think he meant it. But what I do think is interesting is that like, I've been taught that dreams are symbolic. Like, not him. Let's pick a dream that I could have woken up and been like, must pursue this. Like, are there donkeys with wings? Let me go find them. Do you have a recurring donkeys with wings dream? I do. This is the first I'm hearing about this. Name me a dream of yours that you think maybe we shouldn't take literally. I mean, I fly sometimes.

I have a recurring flying dream, never flown. I mean... Do you have a better example, bro? I mean, I had a recurring dream that actually came true, but I didn't go pursue it. Whoa. I had a recurring dream about the town of Ashland that I wrote to you about and I told you about that I showed you about that I showed. up and it was like this extremely distinct place and the geography was is what made it so specific.

There was like a river next to a downtown area and and I ended up in this town in 2018. In real life. In real life, I walked downtown for the first time and I was just struck. I was hit so hard by this recurring dream that I had had. I had it about like once a week for several years. Okay, that's weird, babe. You're telling a weird story. I mean, weird in a good way, but I feel like that's a little bit of a different story.

It's a recurring dream. I was looking for like, I once dream that I joined the circus, but I didn't do it. Instead, Jonathan's like, I speak to the universe and it sends me messages of where I should live. Like, that's a different story. Well, this was not necessarily permanent living. I was on this road trip in the dream, and I was arguing with my then partner. And we got to this town, we pulled over on this road trip. Is this real life or the dream?

this is the dream. And then we park there and I just turned to her and I'm like, can we rest here a little while? And like there was so much tension in the car from... Cut to, we live here now. We do. But I don't think we're living there forever. And it... I had forgotten about that dream. This just took a turn. I had totally forgotten about that dream until I then walked in that downtown. And I hadn't had it for like five years that dream. But I was like totally struck. I'm like, holy shoot. This is the location of the...

Canadians also don't curse. That I had been having for years and years prior to that and it like totally freaked me out. Do you think that it's going to require another wet dream for Matthew McConaughey to run for office? Like he's going to have a wet dream and he's like, yep, I'm supposed to be governor of Texas. No, but I do think, in all seriousness, I mean, again, I'm not saying he's a prophet, but this notion of. But he has the hair for it. No, but this notion of, you know, what if we received information that we get with that kind of serious? meaning to say what's the message here? Like, what am I supposed to do? And he, I also really

respect, you know, public people, famous people, you know, who are not afraid to say, like, I have a relationship with God and like this happened and I believe that was like that, I really, I think that's really cool. He also said he put himself in the place to receive that information. And so if we want to go there, I would posit that everyone has the ability to receive direct information of truth, whatever we understand truth to be. We don't know how to listen or receive like people used to. So so many of us are not putting ourselves in the position, not making space in our lives. And it's like also it's, you know, you call it serendipity or like coincidence.

But, you know, that's just the lens that we see it with. If people want to tell us about their serendipity moments. Or moments of great intuition. We would love to hear that. I think that's fascinating. Tag us on Instagram at Bialik Breakdown. that's our Instagram page. This was a very exciting episode.

Before we go, Maim, talk to us a little bit about gratitude. I have an attitude of gratitude. He talked about attitude of gratitude. He talked about, well, before he talked about attitude of gratitude, he talked about quick, lethal, and over, which might be the episode title. It's also the title of our memoir. But tell us why gratitude is helpful.

We've talked a little bit about this and an Ask Maim anything, but, you know, this is less of an Ask Myem anything and more of a little why gratitude is so good for us? One of my favorite things that we do here at Miami-MBILX breakdown is to break down the science behind things that people don't often know have science that relate to mental health. And gratitude is one of them.

And, you know, I'm kind of allergic to positivity, meaning like I'm not... You hate when I'm positive. No, I'm just like... I wouldn't say I'm like an optimistic, positive person. Like, that's just not... It's not my vibe. I was kidding, by the way.

You like positive. No, I do, but I much more resonate with gratitude and an attitude of gratitude, which... Because there can be false positivity, which is a whole other problem. Yeah, and like I'm very... I'm just... It's me. It's not you. You know, I'm very sensitive to false positivity or to kind of... Spiritual bypassing. No, or like super... Sometimes it can feel superficial to me or can feel inauthentic.

But there have been some really interesting studies, scientific studies, about gratitude. And some of the things, you know, you can kind of dismiss, if you'd like to. I mean, the studies report, there was a study of, I think, 300 college students. that was done. And, you know, they found that, like, depression markers decreased when people were asked to, like, write gratitude letters every day and things like that. But enter functional MRI machine. That's right. FMRI is our friend. And there have been gratitude studies that have been done when people are in an MRI scanner. And I'm happy to describe what an MRI scanner does another day. My undergraduate thesis, we used functional MRI. It's showing blood flow and brain activity. And there are things that we can

infer from the patterns that we see and the changes in blood flow and therefore oxygen delivery to different parts of the brain. And gratitude seems to activate the medial prefrontal cortex, which is generally associated with learning and decision making. So the idea is that when we experience gratitude, when we express gratitude, our brain is rewiring in some ways. And I'm not saying that is like the brain can rewire. I'm literally talking about when you express and have access to things that you can be grateful for, even if, fill in the blank, it allows your brain to start learning and accepting and being open in a new way. And that's one of the things that 12-step programs in particular are big on is gratitude lists, you know. When you wake up, can you be

grateful about three things without feeling guilty about it? without feeling like, oh, but also this is going on. And I shouldn't be. You have a right to experience gratitude, and it is. It's good for your brain. And it can be little things, too. That's what people don't understand. They're like, oh, my life has to be perfect in order to have gratitude.

You know what my list sometimes sounds like? Cats. Just that they exist. Just cats. Patience. I often just have gratitude for patience. The gift of pausing is something all I can like get my head around in the morning. I'm just grateful that I've learned that I don't have to instantly react to everything.

I'm grateful for the gift of recovery that I can experience things bigger than myself. But those notions of gratitude, it does. It puts a different lens on your day. So yeah. The last thing about this interview that we just did.

Because everybody's like, nobody wants to listen to you. We just heard Matthew McConaughey. Is that Matthew talks about not raising his voice and that I connected to that by pausing. I don't know why I'm getting that face. Because you shouted at me the other.

day. There's no evidence of that. If he gets to a point of needing to raise his voice, what he says is that he hasn't dealt with other things that are contributing to him boiling over and that the thing that he's yelling at is not actually upsetting most of the time. The best example is with my children. And I was a yeller. I was a yeller in some of their early years and I have tremendous sadness and regret about it. But I took a parent and class. It's called quality parenting, and it's kind of a progressive, you know, a lot of people in the holistic community, well, we took it together, a group of girlfriends and mine. And what it said is that

anytime you lose your patience, not just with a child, but with any human being, it is always because you do not have the patience to deal with whatever it is that's in front of you. Meaning, people can try and get their needs met, children especially, in ways that are annoying, that are frustrating, but I can have my child behave and do the same exact thing on a good day and a bad day. And the only thing that's different is me. That's the baseline of overall stress that has either accumulated or that we haven't managed in other ways. And so that's an amazing sign. He said, what have I not dealt with that's coming out now. And so much of what we talk about is being aware enough to deal with the stuff that is in front of you that you're holding on to that you're

experiencing and having the tools to do so. I'm very grateful for learning new tools every day that we do this podcast. Well, thank you. About all the guests that we get to speak to, people that I would never otherwise get to talk to. Jonathan, I'm grateful that we get to do this podcast together. It's really lovely. I'm also grateful for all the listeners that really seem to appreciate it.

They message us. Most of them, we get a couple of... I'm grateful for our awesome team. I'm grateful for our friends at Rabbit Grin. Scott, who's sitting here today and Jeff who's out there. We have a really nice support team, and they do all the technical stuff. It's just a gratitude fest. Gabe, everyone.

From our grateful breakdown to the one that we hope you never have, except the gratitude part. We hope you have that. We'll see you next. It's my and B.R. X breakdown. She's going to break it down for you. She's got a neuroscience PhD or two.

One fiction. And now she's going to break down.