Mayim Bialik's Breakdown - Molly Ringwald: Avoid Absorbing Too Much Pain

Episode Date: November 16, 2021

Molly Ringwald (Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, The Kissing Booth 3) joins us to discuss the things she admires and regrets about starring in John Hughes’ movies. Mayim and Molly bond over their early roles on Facts of Life, coping with rejection at an early age, and Mayim opens up about why she has resonated with many of Molly’s roles. Molly reveals the reasons she left Hollywood to move to France in her early 20’s, and considers whether the responsibility of art is to change or reflect society. She discusses starting therapy as a teenager to treat depression and anxiety and her meditation processes, from body scans to gardening. Mayim considers the ways anxiety can be tied to the prevalence of technology in another installment of Ask Mayim Anything. Molly's Books: https://iammollyringwald.com/when-it-happens-to-you BialikBreakdown.com YouTube.com/mayimbialik   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you read John's early writing, you know, even earlier scripts of 16 candles, there was even more stuff that was really kind of inappropriate. And like when you read it now, you're sort of like, what the, you know, what, what's, what was this person thinking? Hi, I'm Mayambiolic and welcome to my breakdown. This is the place where we break things down so you don't have to. It's Mayambiolic's breakdown. She's going to break it down for you because you know she knows a thing or two. And you could not break down what we're breaking down today if you tried. But before we get to who we're talking to today, the person who tries the hardest of any person I know, Jonathan Cohen. Hello, my name. It could be a bad thing, but I meant it is a good thing.

I mean, I try so hard, but I never succeed. That's not what I meant, Jonathan Cohen. Okay. How's it going? It's just I'm a hard worker. How are you feeling? Pretty good. How about you?

You're a hard worker, and you just. try hard. I care. It's like when people bake with love. You live with trying? I live with trying. That's right. We're talking to a real icon today.

Teen heartthrob. She really was the portrait of teen angst. You know, not just like perky, sunshiny goodness or hilarity, which are important things. Molly Ringwald has agreed to speak to us today. It's very exciting. I mean, I was an enormous. fan. I did not have a very successful social kind of life in a lot of the years when her movies, the John Hughes movies in particular, and all of those Brat Pack movies were around. And I really

felt understood by a lot of aspects of her character, her struggles in the characters she played. And she was this like perfectly not perfect. You know, she was a redhead. She had freckles. I mean, this woman's skin, it looks like it's porcelain. Like, she's, She's just, she's... You've described that you felt a lot of teenage stinks. You talk about the... I was very moody. Yeah, you talk about the authors that you would read and the philosophers.

Did you look at her characters and feel like that could be a version of you? You know, I watched her movies when I was younger, let's say, than the age that she was. She's not that much older than me, but she's older enough that, like, when I saw 16 candles, 16 seemed like a grown-up, you know? I was young still. By the time I got to 16, I was a very different person than her characters were, you know, at 16. I was, yeah, I didn't feel like I had the same confidence. And even now, like, she just seems so, she seems really confident and, like, comfortable in her skin. She started acting really young, and we're going to talk about that and talk about some of her journey.

But yeah, John Hughes movies in particular did really speak to me. They spoke to a, you know, a generation of teens who really hadn't had that. voice, voiced for us. And he launched the careers of, you know, a lot of actors. I mean, John Cusack was in early, you know, 16 candles. And anyway, it's just, it's very, very exciting to speak to her and talk about some of her mental health practices. And she's the mom of teenagers. And she also has books that she's written. Like, she's got a really, really interesting life. But part of her life did involve needing to kind of leave and step out of the spotlight. And it was really good for her mental health to do that. And we'll talk about that as well.

Practically everything in Molly Ringwald's bio, we barely got to because I was busy asking so many other things. She currently stars as Mary Andrews on the CW series Riverdale. She began her career very, very young. She was in many, many movies. Betsy's Wedding, that's a really good one. I love that so much. And 16 Candles, The Breakfast Club, and Pretty and Pink. That's sort of the triumvirate of 80s movies, if you'd like to catch up.

In 1992, Molly moved to Paris and acted in some four. foreign films. I mean, she was in Jean-Luc Godard's King Lear. She must speak French. I didn't even get to ask her that. She's also been on Townies in Stephen King's The Stand, the Emmy-nominated Alison Gert's story, and the movie Molly an American Girl based on the American Girl series. She's also the author of the national bestsellers getting the pretty back and when it happens to you. And she also has written in the New York Times, Vogue, salon, Esquire, Allure, Tin House, the New York Times book review, and The Guardian, where she has a weekly advice column. She also is a jazz singer. Her father was a jazz musician, and she is a jazz singer.

And in addition, she's known for a very prominent New Yorker op-ed that she wrote around the Me Too time to speak about some of her own experiences with sexual assault and harassment and just kind of the climate of hostility that many women experience, especially as young actresses. So honored to get to speak to this person. Molly Ringwald, welcome to our breakdown. Break it down. Hi. I think the last time I saw you, I was in the makeup trailer. Oh, that's right. We were at Secret Life. Secret Life of the American Teenager. I spent more effort than I probably should have for this interview. So the fact that you, look great with just a little mascara and like sitting on your bed. I don't feel badly at all.

I put on under eye cream. I put on a bold lip for my interview with Molly Ringwald. Thank you so much for talking to us. Sure. My pleasure. You know, in particular, I feel appropriately humbled and odd by getting to talk to you, you know, more intimately, you know, having grown up really with you as an icon, which you were to so, so many people. We also share something very odd in common. I, too, was on the Facts of Life. Oh, my God. I was on the last two episodes of Facts of Life. This was even before I was in beaches.

I had just started acting, and they were going to do a spinoff of Facts of Life. So they auditioned, like, a new class of kids, and it was me, it was Juliette Lewis. It was Seth Green. It was, like, it was so random. And it was going to be Lisa Welchell. She was going to be the one, like, taking over. the school. So we did a two-part season finale of the Facts of Life, which then served as a pilot for what would have been a new show. The pilot didn't get picked up. Basically, you dodged that

bullet. I dodged that bullet. But, you know, at the time, I mean, I had grown up, you know, watching Facts of Life. I was born in 1975. So I grew up with, you know, the best and the worst of television comedy. I was raised on like Silver Spoons and Three's Company and, you know, happy days and what else did we watch? You were, you're... All of that, I was... Laverne and Shirley. Laverne and Shirley.

Yes, there we go. Mark and Mindy. But I didn't start professionally acting until I was 11, which I'm sure you can understand was considered late for child actors because most child actors do start as kind of toddlers or kids.

I know that your dad is a musician. Your dad was also blind, correct? Correct. And so you grew up in, I would say, an interesting household that I'm sure had its own challenges, but what was acting like for you? What did it mean for you when you were little?

I started acting as a very, very young person. I think my first job in community theater was three and a half. I literally, like, toddled on stage with my brother in a play called The Grass Harp, which was based on a Truman Capote book. And it was really just kind of an extracurricular activity. the thing that I was really kind of serious about was singing because my dad was a jazz musician and that was kind of what I did with him. And I really just sort of gravitated towards performing and being on stage. I was really a very shy kid. I mean, I felt painfully shy, but the only place

where I didn't feel shy was when I was performing in front of a lot of people. If there was a big audience, then I felt very safe. And if I was just with people in my living room, I thought I was going to die. I was like, I just, I don't know, I felt like protected when I was in front of an audience. But it was really kind of a lot of different things that we did. I had my older brother and sister, and we swam and we danced. And, you know, it was just kind of, my mom was a stay-at-home mom. And so she was, you know, basically just shuttling us around from one extracurricular activity to the other. And then the singing kind of took off and I did what a lot of girls did in the 70s when Annie came to do the first West Coast production in San Francisco and Los Angeles. I auditioned for it

and then I got apart. I didn't get Annie but I got one of the orphans and then my family moved from Sacramento to Los Angeles and then I was just kind of going. You know, I did Annie for 15 months. and then that led to Facts of Life, you know, I got an agent. And I feel like, you know, my parents, even though my father was a jazz musician, they didn't really have any experience at all with Hollywood. You know, I don't consider myself, you know, a legacy career at all. Like, they just, they were total novices. They had no idea.

It kind of seemed exciting, I think, to them to have a kid where everybody is like, wow, we think your kids as great as we think, you know, you are. And isn't this incredible? You know, they really didn't know anything about what the business was like and how truly dangerous it can be for children and for their development. You know, my mom often said, if I knew then what I know now, I never would have let you be a child actor. And I'm kind of one of the success stories. I mean, you know, I'm still here. But I think she saw what a really difficult business it was, even starting with Facts of Life.

You know, I was on the first season of Facts of Life, and then they decided that they wanted to narrow it down. There was a bunch of girls, like nine girls or something because it was supposed to be this, you know, this private school. Right. And then they decided they just wanted to focus on four girls. And originally the four girls were Lisa Welchell, you know, Blair, Tudy, Natalie, and Molly. And then they changed their mind, and they basically fired me for no cause whatsoever. and then decided that they wanted to bring me on as a semi-regular, which I did at first. But, you know, when you're 12 years old and, you know, things like that happened to you,

it just felt so humiliating. You know, you're just really not equipped emotionally to deal with that kind of rejection. At least I wasn't. And it felt very humiliating and, you know, like I had done something wrong, but I didn't know what I did wrong. And, you know, and my mom said, you know, hey, we don't have to, you don't have to do this anymore. If this really feels bad to you, like, let's just not do it. And then that was it. I think I did one additional episode or something. You know, and that was just kind of, I mean, that wasn't even a particularly bad story,

but, you know, these things happen and, you know, they affect you. And I feel like you have to be incredibly strong to do this as a career, you know, emotionally. And which is hard because by the same token, in order to be a good act, you need to be able to access your emotions and go to that dark place. And so it's just this, this, you know, difficult dichotomy. And, you know, it's something that I've tried to understand and balance my entire life, you know, my entire career. It's something that I've, that I've worked on and struggled with and, you know, to varying degrees of success. Well, and I think, you know, what's important and kind of what you highlighted is, you know,

we have spoken to many people here who have grown up in the industry and, you know, some have had good experiences and some have had bad experiences and some have had a mixture, which I think it sounds like you have had, I would say, I've had, you know, a mixture. But so much also depends upon individual variability. Like you said, like, you know, what does it mean to be strong, right? Like, like, there's a kind of resilience, you know, for me, starting acting, quote, late at 11.5 meant that most of the girls in the rooms auditioning with me had already cultivated, like, almost a decade of callous. Meaning, like, calluses. I don't mean being callous people.

I mean, they had been through the ringer by the time they were, like, eight. And they had methods to make themselves feel better or to make you feel worse so that they've. felt better. And the fact is, like, a lot of that was driven by just kind of that kind of environment, you know, like, it lent itself to that. You know, my favorite example is I would, you know, other kids' moms would say to me, like, did you not get enough rest last night? You look a little tired. Like, and that, and that was like a routine thing that happened. Like, people would try and throw you off your 11-year-old game. But I think what's important also when we talk about these things is not to say that like, oh, this is us talking about what a unique,

bizarre experience we had as famous people. The notion is that every child, every teenager, goes through periods of insecurity, rejection, devastation, and there's a full range of of what impact that can have. So I think it's important that, like, to note that we may have done this, that's right, I'm grouping me and Molly, Molly and I may have done this, you know, in, in front of cameras or, you know, my Chips Ahoi example of a terrible audition experience that has scarred me. I mean, I never... You don't eat Chips Ahoi to this day. I don't eat Chips Ahoi to this day. No, it was just, it was, um, you know, it was something that, I mean, I won't bore you with the story, but when I tell... No, I want to hear this story. I want to hear this.

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our listeners get an additional $20 off with the code break. Head to superpower.com. Use the code break at checkout for $20 off your membership and after you sign up, they'll ask how you heard about them. Make sure to mention my ambiolics breakdown to help support the show. Sorry. So we were brought in, it was a Chips Ahoi commercial that I was auditioning for. I was probably 12.

And I, there was, this is something else that I want to get into with Molly. You know, the notion of what kids and girls especially should look like in the late 70s, in the 80s was very different than what it is now. I did not have luck in commercials. It wasn't a place that I excelled. I was quirky. I was strange. Like I had a weird skill set of like, I can roller skate and I also speak Yiddish. Like, it's strange.

Like, that's a strange. So I go to this Chips Ahoey audition and they call you in two by two because that's fun to have to go in with another human and just hope that you don't already feel less than them, which was like, you know, my full-time job was finding ways that I felt less than us. other people, which is not a healthy thing. That's a separate story. So they call you in two by two, and I'm called in with this girl. I already don't feel like I belong because no one looks like me. I don't look like anyone. Like I'm not developed yet. I'm like this weird scrawny, like big head, tiny body person. But people are thinking you need a cookie. But people are thinking I need a cookie. So they put on music and the music happened to be Michael Jackson's bad. This is not a statement on whether or not people should listen to Michael Jackson. I just want you to picture. It's like basically a sound

stage, a bunch of dudes and one one camera, one video camera, and two people, two girls on a stage, kids, and they put on Michael Jackson's bad. And the assignment was just like, dance. Like, have a great time. I know, right. Oh, that hurts my stomach. Exactly. Like, already. I don't excel here. Molly, tell us why that hurts your stomach. Tell us why it hurts your stomach and then I'll tell you I just put myself there. Like, I, you know, I've been in that situation and, you know, when I used to go out for commercials and I just, you know, and already, you know, just the dance thing, even though I took dance lessons, if somebody said just dance, it was like that it just, yeah, it just fills me with anguish.

Go on. Fill me with more anguish. So it's not even that it's open-ended. Like, let's just talk about this kind of anxiety. If you, like, I had been in dance since I was four years old. I could do a routine. I could do a ballet routine. I was, like, I'm a tap dance.

Like, I could do all the, that's not the issue. It's the free form, like, show us how much you deserve this based. And it's like, sure, I could have done a routine, but then it would have looked like I was doing my, like, tap dance routine. And same thing with, like, improv. I'm not an improv person. Like, write me what to say and I'll make it work. Okay, fine. So the music comes on.

Remember, there's one video camera. Two people on a stage, me and this other girl, one camera. and it starts, you can tell it starts on a wide shot, a two shot. You can tell by how the framing is working. And as the music goes on and me and this other girl are dancing, I see the camera slowly starts to turn to her. And it's zooming in on her. And I'm then like, do I keep dancing?

Is it sadder to stop dancing? That feels sad too? Because all the other people in the room be like, ah, like whatever, whatever my fear was. And also this is one of those times when you come out of the audition and your mom who's doing her best is like, I'm sure it wasn't. No, it was that bad lady who gave birth to me. It was that bad. And I'm like the queen of when people are like, I'm sure they didn't notice. Oh, they noticed. Like my whole life when people are like, it wasn't, you're going to be fine. I'm not going to be fine. So that was the Chips O'Hoy. And I still have my journal. I was a journal keeper. I still have my journal. And I did a very. angry drawing when I came home of this other girl. God knows where she is now. She's probably telling this story. My Ambialic audition

next to me for the Shipsoi commercial. No, but I think that, you know, whether it's a school play, whether it's a class presentation, I mean, my boys are 13 and 16, and I remember the first time my younger one had to do, like, his first presentation in his little homeschool class.

Like, every personality is different. You have no idea how any particular, and you know, you're a mother also. Like, when you experience learning about a human's personality as it's developing, you have no idea what's going to impact them. And the things that you tolerated that you've written very courageously about, those might be incredibly traumatic for someone else. And they may never want to enter a public sphere again in any way. So can you speak a little bit to kind of, you know, the variability in your experience, say, compared to what you might anticipate for

your kids or just kind of what that was like, you know, even pre, you know, 16 candles, right? This is before we even knew you on a larger scale. Well, it's interesting. You know, I feel like it's, it's obviously it's not just, you know, acting that puts these kids into these positions where they have to figure out how they're going to deal with, how resilient they're going to be, you know, how much grit they're going to have. You know, I have, I have twins. I have an almost 18-year-old daughter. My eldest is going to be 18 actually tomorrow, which kind of blows my mind. And then I have 12-year-old twins. They're boy-girl twins. And it's really interesting to watch them because, you know, they've been together, you know,

since they were in utero. And watching how, and they couldn't be more different. They really are like yin, yang. And their personalities just are completely different. But, you know, my 12-year-old girl plays soccer. And she's a really good player. And my husband coached for a couple years. And, you know, She's really kind of talented. But this year, there's another coach, and it's been really difficult for her. You know, I guess not having her dad there. Her confidence has been down a little bit. But they do this thing.

I hope that nobody, none of the parents on the team, listen to your podcast. But I'm going to tell it anyway, because I think it's interesting. They do this thing where they, which I really don't think should be done anymore, where they pick the kids, they pick individual. players and they say, okay, you put your team together. So it, yeah, I know, immediately you're like, really, we're still doing that? We're still doing that. You know, like, what is the point other than to make somebody, somebody, two girls are always going to feel bad no matter what? And it was, I think, two weeks in a row or something, my daughter was picked last. Oh, God. And felt absolutely terrible.

I went to pick her up and that day I was a little bit late because I parked too far away. And I could tell as soon as I got there, you know, her face was just, you know, we have to leave right now. And I was like, what happened? I don't want to talk about it. And it took a little while for her to talk about it. And then she told me what happened. And I was so mad. And immediately she could see the anger in my face and she said, don't talk to anyone.

Right. Don't call the coach. Don't do that. It'll make it so much worse. Don't do that. And I was like, what do I do with this anger? How do, you know, and then I'm thinking, okay, should I tell her if she doesn't want to do it anymore? She doesn't have to do it.

But then what kind of message am I telling her? And so I just kind of like let it go and just try to listen to her, you know. And then this is how she dealt with it. The next practice, she got there an hour and a half early. Like, this is just her. She gets there like an hour early. There's another team playing, you know, like two years ahead. They see her.

The coaches come over and talk to. to her and say, hey, if you're still playing soccer, you know, in a couple years, I really want you on my team. You're amazing. So that kind of like gave her confidence. You know, and then the next time when they chose her to be the captain to pick, you know, her players, she said, and she told me she was going to do this. She said, I'm going to pick every kid that's always picked last. And when it was her turn, that's what she did. And when she did it, her team won. You know, and I thought, wow, this is, this is kind of amazing. It was sort of amazing to sort of sit back and just listen to her and kind of, I don't know, absorb the pain a little bit because that's kind of what you have to do when you,

when you listen, when you're an active listener, you just have to sort of take it and feel it and not feel it more than she does and not less, just kind of be present and then and then see where she goes with it. And I thought, and I was kind of happy because I felt like it really showed an incredible amount of resilience that I don't know if that can be taught. I think I'm kind of, I don't know. I don't know if that's just something that can be taught by example or if that's just like in her DNA. If she has something in her DNA that I have, because I had to have a great deal of resilience, anybody who does what we do has to have that kind of resilience because you're constantly, no matter who you are, you're always being knocked down. You're always as great as

some people think you are, there's always somebody else that seems to have more. And there's always somebody else that they want. And so, and you're always going through rejection. And I think you really do have to have something in your core that can handle that. And you either have it or you don't. I really don't think that it can be taught. And I was kind of relieved in a way to see that my daughter seems to have that. And I hope that she can hold on to it. You talked about kind of being an active listener. and I don't think this is just relevant for people who are parents. I think it's really relevant for anyone dealing with this next generation of humans as they make their way around the planet doing all the things they do.

You know, and we kind of joke about their wokeness and, you know, how much they demand of us. But I do. I mean, I can't help but think back to, you know, when I was my kid's age, right? And I was actively working in an adult industry. But I think there was a lot more of a notion. and you're a couple years ahead of me, there was a lot more of a notion of like, that's just life, deal with it.

And everything kind of got thrown into that bucket. Like, oh, he made a comment about your breast size and you're a child and he's an adult. Just deal with it. That's the business, you know? Or like, oh, this person, like, it stole all your money. Like, oh, sucks when that happens. You know, like, all these things happen.

And, like, I see now we're in a very, different consciousness of how we interact with humans, you know, like not just with actor people, but I, you know, as I've, you know, kind of reflected and I've, you know, kind of followed your writing specifically, you know, surrounding the period of time when, when many people in the world came to know you, is that there was this notion that, like, that's just the way it is. And I think it's so interesting, not just to think about it from like a sociocultural perspective, but from a mental health perspective to say, there was. things and ways that we functioned that we can objectively look back and say, this was not healthy

and this was not right. And, you know, when I talk about, not just about, you know, what you've written, in particular about 16 candles, but when I started reflecting on how much that movie meant to me, first of all, just because I was of that era, I was that girl who was like, one day someone will See me for who I am. Like that really spoke to me. And it's true. John Hughes tapped into a very specific aspect of teenagehood and in particular kind of the female, yes, the heteronormative female experience at that time. But to think about some of the things, right, that occurred both in movies, in culture, like those were things that like when I tell my children the problematic aspects, let's say, of 16 candles that, you know, need to be discussed.

like, I'm sorry, what happened in the script? And I'm like, I know it sounds like, it sounds so out of plays, but like that was like my favorite movie and I was a feminist. Like, but that's how much our perception of what is acceptable can and should change. But I think about it also in terms of our mental health. And I wonder if you kind of have, you know, a little bit of, you know, I don't want to make you just like repeat the, you know, incredible profound things that you've said about it, but I think also there's been a real paradigm shift, you know, in how we view what's acceptable. Maybe you can speak to that a little bit. Yeah, I mean, I have a lot of feelings about it, a lot of, you know, mixed feelings. I think I probably could have written a book, and in fact,

probably one day I will write a book about it because that article, even though it was a pretty long article, what about the Breakfast Club, the one that was in the New Yorker? there was still even more that I could have said about it. It's confusing because I, like you, love those movies. I mean, they were, I mean, first of all, there were not that many movies that were about young women, where the protagonist was a young woman, and they were the ones that were directing the action. They weren't just somebody's girlfriend or, you know, love interest or daughter or whatever. you know, so that made it, you know, sort of groundbreaking, you know, and also they were funny.

I mean, they were funny and light and, you know, and really, I think, reflected a lot of people's feelings about, you know, insecurity and being different. You know, like you, I was not the typical, you know, all-American girl, which is really funny because I sort of became that, or, I, you know, people viewed me as that later, but really, I wasn't. I mean, my sister really was much more that she was blonde hair, blue white. Like, we don't even look like we're from the same family. But that was really kind of what was in fashion at the time. And I was sort of different. I was kind of pale and skinny and, you know, freckles and, you know, the reddish hair and all of that. So anyway, just to say there, there's so much that I, that I love and that I'm grateful for. And yet, at the same time, it is a little disturbing to think that that was just normal, you know, things that happened in that movie, you know, the fact that, I mean, the thing that really bothered me the most, which I wrote about was the character of Caroline being sort of bartered by her boyfriend, who's supposed to be the dreamboat, you know,

Jake Ryan basically barters her when she's drunk. and, you know, for this young kid to have sex with in a car, and that that's supposed to be okay, you know, because in the morning when she wakes up and doesn't really remember what happens. That's right. But she says, I think I liked it, you know. Right.

Like, what? Yeah. You know, even then as a, as a, I was, I think, I was 15 when I, no, I was 16 when I did 16 candles. You know, there were a lot, if you read John's early, writing, you know, even earlier scripts of 16 candles, there was even more stuff that was really kind of inappropriate. And like when you read it now, you're sort of like, what the, you know, what, what's, what was this person thinking? You know, there was a lot of stuff. And sometimes I would,

well, a lot of times I would, I would, we had the kind of relationship where I could say, oh, this is icky, or I don't like this, or I don't get this, or this doesn't make sense, or this kind of cheapens it, or this is not my experience as a teenager. And, and he would really, to me and he would cut a lot of stuff. But then there were other things like the Caroline stuff, like where, you know, he didn't listen to me. And I did find it icky. I found it kind of creepy when we're sort of like in the shower and we were ogling her. I was like, I would never do that as a teenager. I mean, I would never, but, you know, you win some, you lose some. But what really what I feel is, is that there was just a lot in those movies that, you know, you win some.

that we just kind of accepted because that was our experience. And, you know, and there's a question about whether, you know, films or books or whatever should reflect a society or whether they should change it. I feel like they can do a little bit of both. But John really wasn't out to change anything. He was really about reflecting, you know, his particular world. And his world was very small.

You know, he was very privileged. He lived in this little suburb of Chicago. He came from money. It was not integrated at all. I mean, any LGBTQ stuff was, we didn't even have that acronym, you know. And it was never talked about homosexuality was only talked about it as a derogative term, you know. So there's all of that. And but, but by the same token, I think that he really was writing about a particular time that also happens to have resonated with people outside of that world, which I think is interesting, you know, so I think that there's something in there that connects people.

And I feel like that, that message of that otherness. it doesn't matter if these characters were white or, you know, upper middle class or whatever. I feel like that feeling of feeling different and feeling like you don't belong speaks to every different socioeconomic background. And so people just kind of use it as an avatar to feel their own feelings. And I feel like that's kind of why those films still sort of resonate today. And I think also, I mean, I'm not surprised how humble you are. But a tremendous amount of that, of what drove that narrative really at that time really was this character that you were. And obviously you were the actress embodying that. But I think, I mean, I don't think I'm just speaking for myself. I think the notion also that this was not an overly confident, overly popular, overly kind of saccharine, you know, persona that was kind of the leading lady. right? This was someone who was finding her place, trying to find where she fit. And I think that

really specifically resonated with a lot of people. But something that is so different about the time that you, you know, were acting and so prominent in people's lives, you existed at a time, and I mean, I did to a lesser extent, where there was not a publicity machine surrounding, in particular young women. And, you know, when I think about, I mean, you were very well protected, at least, you know, in my knowledge at that time, from press, meaning press was not out there for young girls, like put on your false lashes and your spanks, it's time to walk the carpet. Like, we existed in a very different world without internet, meaning there was no social media,

and there wasn't even this notion of like a publicity machine. churning out young girls to make them look like women. I mean, and I think that's, it's an important part, but it also, it gave you this extra special allure, you know, like, meaning, I mean, I would look everywhere to find things on you, right? Because that's what we did. No, but there wasn't, there wasn't a lot of places for that. And so I also, like, I can't help, but, like, you know, I look at kind of like your story

and, like, you've had a foreign husband, and then you're like, with another foreign, like, You're just like this exotic. Like you get you get to exist really kind of out of this sort of machine that that young women exist in today. And I'm just curious. Like what was that like, you know, to have that kind of fame and notoriety but still need to develop as a person and still kind of have the opportunity to do that. Like did you go away? Is that how you found foreign humans? Well, I think that really was a choice that I made.

And it's true. We didn't have the publicity machine. I mean, I did have a publicist. That was just something, you know, that you have. You have an agent. You have a publicist. You have, you know, maybe you have a manager. So I did have that.

But, you know, like, for instance, when you went to an award show, I presented at the Academy Awards a couple times. And, you know, I picked out my dress. I think I paid for me. Yeah, I paid for my dress. You know, that was just something that you did. Anytime I would go to a premiere or something, it wasn't like people were, you know, giving me the clothes or paying me to wear their clothes.

It was like, no, I, it's just like, and I think I just preferred it that way. I mean, I feel like my, my, the way that I dress for better or for worse, you know, represents who I am. And how can I really represent who I am if somebody else is doing it? You know, it just seems very so personal to me. But that's really me. I mean, there were other girls that were my age that I think were putting themselves out there more than I was.

I was always a really private person. And I kind of knew sort of early on that it was a survival technique, that if I was out there too much, that there wouldn't be anything left for me. and I sort of needed to process things personally, like privately. And I did go away. I think that's really why I ended up in France, because I had been working for so much of my childhood and then my teen years. I really kind of, it was sort of my early 20s. I felt very uninspired in Los Angeles.

You know, I didn't really know what I wanted to do. I applied to college for the first time, which I got in. I applied to USC, the only college that I applied to. And they accepted me with the caveat that I had to do special math courses because it was not my strong suit. And then I went to Paris and I felt so happy there because at that time, I mean, now those films have sort of become cult films everywhere. Well, I wouldn't say everywhere, but at least in Europe. And so I felt like I could walk around and not be recognized. And I thought, well, if this feels this good, you know, I don't have a family right now.

I mean, I don't have, you know, my own kids. I'm not married. You know, if I ever do this in my life, now is the time to do it. And it was just sort of like I knew that that's what I had to do. And so I really do attribute that choice to my longevity. and sort of saving my mental health. I just knew that if I stayed in Los Angeles, that maybe it would have been better for my career in the short run,

but it was just not, it wasn't right for me. And I really felt like I needed to develop. I needed to find other things that made me happy other than acting. And I think there's nothing like living somewhere else in a different culture completely, you know, where their views on, you know, the wars and, you know, politics and everything, you know, everything is just kind of turned on its head where suddenly you're looking at everything through a different lens. And that was, I think it's really sort of

where I kind of learned to write. It's where I learned to observe. And I just learned to kind of like step outside of myself and kind of view the world in a different way. And I feel like that, that's really what I needed to do. Were you ever in therapy when you were young? I started going to therapy as a teenager because I started to have. have a lot of depression and anxiety. We didn't even say anxiety then. It was not a word that I think we, it's certainly not a word that we use like we use it now.

What did it look like for you? I mean, like, how did you describe it, you know? Just excessive worry, overthinking, catastrophizing. Every movie that I made, I felt like it was going to be a bomb. It had to be a bomb because I had already been so lucky, so early that this had to be, you know, It was just sort of like getting in my own way. And it just felt bad. And I was really very depressive.

You know, depression just runs through my family, both sides. You know, and it was really bad in my teen years. I think most of it was probably a lot of it was hormonal. I don't feel, I'm still depressive, but nothing like I was in my teens in my early 20s. I think that was really kind of like the worst time. So I started to go to therapy as a teenager. And then I kind of have gone off and on over the years. I'm big, big proponent for, you know, therapy.

But also not all therapy. Like, I really feel like it's so much about a relationship. You know, it took me a few times to find somebody that I really connected with that was like, you know, had the special sauce. You know, the one that, you know, they have to be, you know, intellectual. they have to be, you know, have a sense of humor. It's like dating. You've got to kiss a lot of frogs. It's like any other relationship. You really sort of need to connect in that way. And I'm really fortunate. I found some really good therapists at different times in my life where, you know, somebody's really good when it's been years since you've seen them.

But something that they said to you just kind of is so lodged in your brain that it just always comes back as sort of like a guiding, a guiding principle. And I've been lucky. I've had some really good therapists. You know, it's a match when you have a full-blown panic attack the first time you meet your therapist and suggest that perhaps she called a hospital. That happened to you. Yes, with my therapist that I've been with for 20 years. Apparently, it's a sign of true vulnerability.

And I'm not talking an anxiety attack. I'm a real stickler here for the difference between anxiety attacks and panic attacks. We don't like to cross these two years. We do not like to cross them. By panic attack, I mean, I was in and out of both my body and my conscious experience and thought that maybe it was time to go to the hospital. And she's like, no, I think you just need to take a couple deep breaths. We just met. It's okay.

And I haven't left her office for 20 years. Anyway, Molly's like, wow, she's really messed up. Anywho. No, I'm really interested by panic attacks because I don't think I've ever had one. I feel like I've had a lot of anxiety and look at me. I'm getting really competitive. Like, you've had a panic attack? But I'm in pain too. No, I really don't think that I've had what can be actually, I mean, from what I know of panic attacks, you feel like you're having a heart attack. Like you need to call the hospital. Yeah. Or just go there. Yeah. No, I've never had that. I've been very, very upset. I've had, you know, difficulty breathing, you know, mostly brought on by not being able to stop crying.

You know, I've had all of those, but I haven't had the, oh, my God, my heart's going to give out. I haven't had that. You know, I don't love asking this question, but I think it's important to because of, you know, the time that you were in the public eye. And I even get asked this and kind of have to think about it for a minute. You know, not every female has body image issues in the industry, but there's definitely a lot of attention, you know, paid to us and our bodies in ways that we don't pay attention necessarily to boys or men the same way. And part of that is simply the cultural differences in

how women are expected to dress and present. But, you know, I like to remind people when I was, let's say, on Blossom from the time I was 14 to 19, this would have been 1989, you know, to 94, 95. Spanx didn't exist. Like, it wasn't, like, it didn't exist. It didn't exist. It didn't meaning if you didn't like the way your body looked in clothes, you would just wear something else. You know? Yeah. If you had curves in places that that dress didn't allow, the answer was size it up or get a different dress. So the consciousness I had about my body was so different because that wasn't part of, it just wasn't part of like where my head was.

And I am curious, you know, what that was like or if that was spoken about in your experience. Yeah. Like, I'm just, I'm curious. I mean, when I was younger, the way that I dressed, it was just kind of my style. I was like, you know, I really looked up to Diane Keaton. She was kind of like my, you know, fashion, you know, mentor. So the way that I dressed, it was kind of, you know, baggy. It was layered.

It was, you know, it was not, you know, I did wear more form. fitting stuff as a as an older teenager but you know when you say spanks didn't exist it's true they didn't exist in this like little period of time when we were growing up but if you think about it before they totally existed correct girdles right i mean we had we had this like little glorious moment where we didn't have that where we freed ourselves and then it just all came back and you know i'm i'm not a fan of spanks i i don't they just uh you know they they don't they don't feel good to me. So yeah, I would size up. You know, I have in my wardrobe, I have clothes for when I'm 10 pounds heavier and 10 pounds lighter because I always, I'm always going to go up and down

the same 10 pounds and I don't want to just get rid of stuff because I know that I'm going to want to want to wear it again. And I want to be able to have that available to me when I, when I need it. You know, I don't really freak out too much. I, you know, I try to stay healthy. I try to stay just because I feel better when I'm closer to my, the weight that I feel like I'm supposed to be. I can just feel it. It's like easier for me to exercise and do the stuff that I want to do when I 10 pounds lighter. But I just don't, you know, I kind of made the choice that I'm just not going to be one of those women with those body. Like I just, I feel like I have much more of a normal, you know, I'm strong, I'm athletic. I'm just, I'm happy that everything functions, you know,

That's kind of where I'm at now. You know, but I do go through it with my daughters. And also I don't think, yes, it's true that women are sort of, there's more expected of them. But I really think that it's gone to the men, too. I feel like men do feel like they should look a certain way. They should look like these Marvel superheroes. They need to be more buff. They need to, you know, they need to be skinny.

Like it really has kind of, you know, men, men, anorexia is totally on the rise in a way that it wasn't before. So I think that it, you know, I worry about all my kids in that way and just try to sort of, you know, model healthy behavior and, you know, and again, just kind of be an active listener and kind of check in with them every so often. But, you know, I think that the social media is, I mean, you studied this, right? I mean, isn't, I don't, I don't know exactly. I've, I've read up on you a little. little bit, but I know that you, that you went to school and you studied the brain. Yeah, I studied, I mean, obsessive compulsive disorder was the topic of my thesis.

But yeah, I was in neuroscience. And it's funny. I'm often asked about like my opinion as a neuroscientist and mom about screen time. And like, I'm certain that no one should be on their screens for longer than two hours. Like I really, and of course, I mean, we do these like time checks on the weekends, it's horrendous. Like I won't even say, in case my children ever want to listen to our podcast, I don't even want to say how many hours they spend on the weekend. Like, it's, it has taken over the family dynamic. It has taken over the mental health of the home.

You know, minor, yeah, 13 and 16. And, you know, there have been years of my life where I feel like all I do is fight for time in a way that they used to love to spend it with me. And my younger son's computer, his gaming laptop, actually broke and apart. And like, that's a whole thing. And it's not an interesting story except to me. But we watched a family movie. I can't tell you the last time we did that when I wasn't like, God damn it, we're going

to enjoy each other's fucking company. We fucking love each other because we're a family. Get down here. God damn it. And like we played a board game. And it was like a game that I've been trying to give away because no one plays it. And we had the best time. And I don't mean to sound like that 90-year-old mom, but I'm like...

My 13-year-old shakes when he's not on his tech. Like, you can get him off and engaged in something, but then he just circles around to like any type of boredom. He starts being like twitching. And I'm like... Yeah. And then he just starts buzzing around the house. Like, you want to put him on tech because you're like, yo, I got to settle you down.

It's a drug. We will give you the drug because your withdrawal is so great. I mean... And also, Fred, God love him. That's my younger one. He'll be like, look. Look, I loaded the dishwasher mama. You look great today, Mama.

How was your day, Mama? And I'm like, I know what you're doing. You want to go back upstairs. I feel comfortable upstairs. And those are my friends waiting for me. Yeah. I feel like a dodo because I'm like, I do look great today. Yeah.

I totally get what you're talking about. It's, I think it's what I'm going through. I think it's what all parents are going through. You know, we're constantly trying to figure out how to stay on top of the tech. You know, we have a, we have a system, which you may or may not have where you actually can just turn it off from your phone, you know, which we do. I would not live a day. I would not survive a day. He would murder me in my sleep. Well, we put this in place just because, you know, at first, at first, I was very naive. I gave my older daughter, you know, a phone and all of that before I think she was really

ready because in my mind, I thought, this is the future. She's going to have to learn how to use this responsibly. Totally. You know, yeah, well, that was what I was, that's what I thought. I was wrong. Yes. I was completely wrong. But that was kind of my thinking. But they're not able to do that. They cannot. They're children. They cannot regulate. They can't regulate. I mean, they need our help to regulate all sorts of ups and downs of life. And that's kind of how I see it. It's like they also shouldn't have to deal with like the rejection they feel when somebody steals all their things in whatever in roblox yes and like then everybody's crying and then i'm crying over like some kid i've never met and maybe they're an adult like i don't even know who they are i know it's a very sad thing it's

like a very sad lesson that our kids learn when they when they lose this like very precious thing that they've been saving up for and they lose it because they trusted someone oh i'm so sad about it i mean it's heartbreaking, but you're like, yeah, okay, so what's the lesson that you learn there? Don't trust anyone. That's the lesson. Don't trust anyone. I have another question that might be sensitive. Yeah. Your children, you have been married, you were divorced, and you are married again, correct? Yes, yes. Are your children with your first husband or your second husband? No, my second. All three are with Pani-o, yeah. Yeah. I envy that. Because it is hard being divorced from the person, because then you have two people who don't live in the same house trying to make decisions

about children who live in two houses, it's a special kind of challenge. Yeah. Yeah. I think, I mean, people do it and, you know, people can do it marvelously, and I, like, hats off to them. It's like hats off to any single parent because I find, I honestly don't know how I would be able to do it without my husband. I mean, we are complete co-parents and everything. Okay, now you're making me sad, Molly. Don't make me so sad. I mean, I know that people, you know, whatever shit happens, people die, people separate, people, you know, that happens and you figure out a way you adapt, you know, and there's silver linings and all that. I just know that I find parenting so challenging on a daily basis. Just like with time, with, you know, everything that has to be done. We don't have child care right now. We're just doing it all ourselves. And so, you know, you know, I mean, that. It's like being a chauffeur. It's like being a camp counselor.

It's like being a psychologist. I thought moving past the phase where I was the 24-hour entertainment was going to make things easier. Remember those years where they're just like entertain me all day? Play with me. Play with me. Play with me. Play with me. Play with me.

Are you looking at me? Are you watching me? Yeah. Anyway. Yeah, we haven't totally gone beyond that phase yet. Maybe with Matilda, my eldest. But the other two, it's like you can't take them to do anything, particularly with Adele. she's like, are you looking? If she looks over and you're looking at your phone for one second, it's like, oh, do not look at your phone.

The stink eye. Molly, our research team also says that you're a meditator. I am. I am. I mean, you know, I would say I don't know if I totally excel at it the way that other people do. I have a really, really dear friend named Meredith Arthur who has a fantastic website that you may or may not have heard of called Beautiful Voyager. And my friend, she lives in Silicon Valley and was always kind of part of the tech world. And she had debilitating migraines that just could not seem to go away no matter what amount of drugs they put her on.

And finally, she was diagnosed with GAD, generalized anxiety disorder. Wow. The main, what would you call it? The main medicine that they give her is meditation and mindfulness, which she embraced whole whole. heartedly and finally was able to get on top of it. And then she developed this website just basically to help other people and to help destigmatize it. And it's really wonderful. I mean, check it out. She came up with the idea, actually, when we were away on a trip together. And it was kind of interesting. I was doing that show, who do you think you are? You know, the one that where, you go back

and follow your family and all the horror that happened before you got here. And we were in Sweden in this church with all of these boats where the families would go away. This is in like the 1700s in Sweden. When a family member would come back safely, they would make these beautiful model boats. So they're all up in the church. And while she was there looking at all these boats, she said, I'm going to do this website. I'm going to create this website. Totally is a side project. It's not even like her main gig. It's just simply to help educate people about this thing that helped her so much. And it's really been incredible. Also, she has this thing where when you go on the website, you can pick out a lighthouse and you name your lighthouse. I think mine is the lighthouse of

bossy kangaroos. And what you do is you have one thing that helps you to get through these panic attacks or anxiety attacks or whatever, just like one thing. So people can go on the website. It's just one of the features that she has and go and pick out. a lighthouse all over the world. And what's so interesting, I think it really is helpful to know that there are so many other people, particularly, I would say, for men. And Meredith said this, that in her work that she does, she has found that it is so much harder for men to admit to having anxiety, debilitating anxiety, because it's considered,

you know, not masculine, that, you know, women have been. we've been able to sort of break down and be vulnerable and talk about our feelings. It's much, much harder for men to do that. So I think it's a really wonderful tool for people to, so I always recommend it to all my friends. But yes, that is one of the ways that she's one of the people that that's definitely encouraged me to meditate because I've seen, you know, firsthand the incredible effect. I mean, she's somebody that I actually, you remind me a little bit of her. You have a very similar laugh.

She has like the most fantastic laugh. You know, I've known her for years. She was actually my husband's friend first and then I kind of, I stole her. Actually, she's friends with both of us, but, you know, but she's really, really become one of my close friends. But her migraines got so bad and they put her on so much medication that I remember going to lunch with her and saying, you know, Meredith, like, you're different. Whatever they have you on, I don't recognize you. And you need to do something. Like, whatever this medication is, you need to like get off of it, try a different one because I'm not finding you. And, you know, she's a really good friend. I can say that to her. And also this is something that she's talked about and written about.

So I don't feel like I'm saying something that's, you know, that she would mind. But it really kind of helped her, you know, galvanize her. her sort of mission and it turned into this beautiful, this beautiful website. So I recommend it. Beautiful Voyager. And what's your practice like? My practice is usually listening to an app because I still feel like I kind of, you know, I still sort of need that guidance. Do you like any particular kind of meditation? I switch it up. I've done like a lot of body scans, but then sometimes I just kind of get bored with that, you know, so I'll just like try different things. Honestly, the best meditation for me that I do, which is probably not strict meditation, is I really love to garden. And when I garden and when I have my hands in the earth, and it's just like me sort of listening

to the wind and the birds and the, you know, whatever I'm doing, I feel like that is, is meditation. I feel like meditation doesn't have to just be strict sitting in crisscross applesauce with your, you know, eyes closed, you know, whatever. It's like I think it's just taking time out from your work or from your family, from, you know, whoever. And just taking that time for yourself to, to like, re-center and recalibrate. And that's sort of what meditation is for me. Molly Rangualit has been such a pleasure to talk to you. We really appreciate you showing up for us. today, and we're so excited to share this with our audience. So thank you so much.

Thank you. Great to talk to you both. She talked about active listening and absorbing the pain of her daughter while she was active listening. I was curious about... No, she was talking about being careful not to absorb too much pain. Exactly. To hold that sort of boundary. That's what you do for me. Is I listen to you and don't absorb your pain? Do you have an experience with that as an empathetic person? Well, I think what she was also talking about is the different style of parenting that has taken hold of, you know, American and Western psychology. You know, the kind of parenting that our parents were raised with and many of us had the remnants of was what would call what was called parent-centered psychology, which was like, you know, I kind of jokingly say the like, I'll tell you when you're hungry. I'll tell you when you're cold. I'll tell you when you're happy style of parenting. Like if you're having an emotion that is upsetting to me, take it.

outside. Come home when you're in a better mood. A lot of you guys, it was boys, boys, get outside. Mostly because my brother and I were fighting. Right. No, but even... But we could fight outside. We just couldn't fight inside. It hurts the mom's head. But anyway, yeah, I think the child-centered psychology, which I think many people feel like is like helicopter parenting and we've come too far. And I would agree with some of that is the like, do I think that because my child doesn't want to be in this restaurant, that we all need to leave this restaurant? No. And I've, you know, I talk about this.

Like, I've met those people who are like, my child, my child doesn't like the way your house smells, we're going to leave. Oh, okay. You had that happen? More than once. Well, sorry. What's wrong with the smell of your house? With the same person.

Oh, okay. It was just one person. This was like when they were toddlers. And I was like, A, that feels insulting, but that's mine to work on. But that is that kind of notion of a child's, centered psychology, which again, works for some people, not really my cup of tea. I guess I try and fall somewhere in between, but I think, you know, Molly was talking about an experience that many of us have with our kids where we like want to protect them and like, don't mess with

my kid. And also, if they were in public school or they were, you know, not under your watchful eye, horrible things would happen to them all the time. A lot. Okay, I totally hear that and agree. I'm going to circle back to the question a little bit and reframe. You've described. You described yourself as being a very aware and connected to other people's emotions. To a detriment to myself. To a detriment to yourself. Do you find that you've, you know, do you have any techniques or approaches to sort of being an engaged listener where you're sort of not taking on the pain of the person? It's a great question and it's actually something that I was just texting with my mother about last night.

She interacted with a person who's a perfectly nice person. Like it was nothing about that. nothing about them not being nice, but the way that they spoke, she did not, like, her soul did not like, meaning... Yeah, she had a reaction. She had a reaction.

And, you know, give that woman the word trigger, she will use it. She got triggered by him. Or, yeah. And, you know, what was interesting is that, like, I don't mean to, like, sound like a parent, but what I said to her is something that, like, my therapist would say to me,

which is, like, maybe you should look at, you know, what it is about this person that is making you unable to separate your reaction to that person from that person. Yeah, I don't think she was buying it, Bev. Yeah, Bev wasn't having it. No, I don't think she was ready, you know, to hear it. But, you know, the techniques that I've found for me are, you know, continuing to keep the focus on myself as much as possible, meaning there's all sorts of times

as a parent, as a partner, as a lover, where you have to, you know, pick up on all sorts of different cues. But I really, I'm trying to reserve that, you know, really for the people who kind of need that from me the most, meaning that's not every single person I interact with, because that's sort of my tendency as an empath. I can, I can like take on all the things. I mean, you know, just driving around, you know, the city streets. There's a million opportunities to have your heartbroken, you know? So the more I kind of, I don't mean focus on myself, meaning don't care about other people. I mean, when you're, you know, pointing one finger at someone else,

you're pointing three back at yourself. Think about it. So a lot of times for me I've noticed that there's a desire to lose myself in someone else or lose myself in their experience or get all up in their business because I don't want to think about my own. And, yeah, those are some hard lessons, but I feel like, you know, I'm still learning them, I guess. I've heard a technique described for people who are, you know, find themselves having like a really hard time listening to people who are struggling or you know who like kind of

shut down where they imagine that there's like an energetic basket that that person has fallen off a cliff that they don't exist and they have no problems at all and that the sound they're hearing isn't real no it's that there's like an energetic basket in between them and the person what do you mean basket it's like almost like a bowl or a holding space a holding space exactly put them in that basket You don't put them, but you have, instead of what they're saying... Oh, it's like a moat. That's an interesting way to think about it. I like the notion of how you described it as a holding basket,

because instead of what they're saying, sort of coming at the empath or the person who's listening and sort of like attacking them and them not sort of knowing how to metabolize it, it instead lives in the space in between the two of you. That's right. Yeah. Space between. And sort of it goes in there. You can interact with it from there, but it sort of gives the person listening a bit of a

boundary where they can be active and engaged, but it's not sort of overwhelming them to the point where they have to shut down. It's like a little, it's like an emotional spillover. Yeah. And I think that using visualization and imagination in that space can help because I think what happens, and I can't speak for everyone, that when we get overwhelmed by someone else who is suffering or going through something, what we're doing is like we're feeling it so deeply, it's kind of hitting us.

Is Bev an empath? I don't know. But I think what happens is we get overwhelmed and we become uncomfortable with that. We don't know how to function. And therefore, we can't be as present with those people as we would like. And then we could come off as like uncaring or shut down. But really what's happening is that you're feeling it so deeply that your system is being overrun. That sounds like a way that assholes can get away with convincing people that they're not assholes.

I'm just so overwhelmed by what you're experiencing. I feel you so much that I can't listen anymore or care. you're on your own, thank you. That's really the flip side of being an empath. Now you have to go back to every relationship you've ever had where that was the case. All the people who have said their empaths, I'd be like, really what's happening is you're, not that we like labels here. That's we don't like labels. But you're a narcissist and you never cared.

Jonathan, do we even ask my am anything? We sure do. Ask my am anything. Yeah. Related to the episode, Robin Pee asks. I am wondering if the anxiety we as modern humans are experiencing is tied to our modern technology. Has there been an impact on the frequency and intensity of anxiety in society? And before my answers, I'm just going to say yes.

That was you saying that, not Robin. The question is from Robin P. But the answer is from Jonathan. Yeah. So I definitely don't have. Thank you, Robin P. for your question. I don't have the data to back it up. But I know that it exists.

And I've read studies that say absolutely yes, but I think there's like a little bit of, there's a little nuance, you know, that we can kind of add to that, which is that people are going to be impacted by social media differently. What's anxiety provoking for many of us around social media is the frequency with which we need to check. Yeah. And the frequency with which information comes in and the volume of information that comes in. Those things, no matter what the, I don't care if you're looking up only rescue shelters that are in need of animals for you to adopt. The volume of information, the speed at which it comes in, that promotes anxiety for, I'd say a lot of people. One of my favorite experiments to do to see how anxious you are because of your phone slash social media in particular, leave it in the car next time you go somewhere. Just leave it in the car.

You're going for a walk, leave it in the car. You're going to meet a friend for coffee or at an outdoors restaurant, safe distance with a mask. Leave it in the car and see what happens. Don't plug it in next to your bed at night, see what happens. Stop using it after 9 p.m. and see what happens. We're not responsible if your car gets broken into and stolen. Don't use it until after you've had breakfast in the morning. And what's going to happen is you're going to feel very, very, very, very.

strange, that's anxiety. Thank you, Robin P, for your question. You too can ask me anything. At Bialicbreakdown.com, that's BIA, L-I-K-Breatdown.com. If you haven't already subscribed to the podcast, hit the subscribe button. Also, we're growing our Instagram page in leaps and bounds. Please be part of it. At Bialik Breakdown on Instagram.

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From our breakdown to the one we hope you never have. We'll see you next time. It's Myambiolics Breakdown. She's going to break it down for you. She's got a neuroscience Ph.D. or two. One fiction. And now she's going to break down. It's a breakdown.

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