Mayim Bialik's Breakdown - Re-Air: Howie Mandel: Never Too Late to Make A Change

Episode Date: October 17, 2025

In honor of OCD Awareness Week, we are revisiting our conversation with Howie Mandel! Howie Mandel (America’s Got Talent, Deal or No Deal, Howie Mandel Does Stuff podcast) opens up about his stru...ggles with ADHD, anxiety, depression, and OCD. He discusses the rituals and intrusive thoughts that force him to hit the pause button on his life, why he finally decided to seek professional treatment, and how his diagnoses have affected his lifepath. Howie explains how Candid Camera first inspired him to do comedy and recounts his first time onstage performing stand-up. He and Mayim consider the importance of living in the moment, hypervigilance as a survival mechanism, and tips on achieving success within therapy. Mayim breaks down ways to manage mental illness with meditation in another installment of Ask Mayim Anything. Check out our full episode with Howie Mandel: https://www.bialikbreakdown.com/watch-podcast/howie-mandel Follow us on Substack for Exclusive Bonus Content: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bialikbreakdown.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BialikBreakdown.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube.com/mayimbialik⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:04 Hi, I'm I'm Bialik. And I'm Jonathan. And welcome to our breakdown. Today, in honor of OCD Awareness Week, we're going to revisit one of our episodes with the one and only Howie Mandel. Now, you may know Howie Mandel from America's Got Talent or Deal or No Deal or the Howie Mandel does stuff podcast. I know him as a stand-up comedian from when I was much younger and he was too.
Starting point is 00:00:30 Howie chose to come on our podcast and talk. very, very intimately about his struggles with obsessive compulsive disorder and also ADHD, anxiety, and depression. How it discusses the rituals and intrusive thoughts that force him to hit pause on life, why he'd finally decided to seek professional treatment and how his diagnosis has affected his path in life. And we're really, really excited to present this. It's such a perfect conversation as we. have OCD Awareness Week. Also, my thesis was on obsessive compulsive disorder. So this is a topic that
Starting point is 00:01:09 was very, very interesting to me. And I was so grateful to have how we talk about it. So many people know that he doesn't shake hands and, you know, all these things. But for him to describe the details of what it looks like, I think is a really great way for us to kind of honor this week and encourage people who might want to seek help and find resources to do so for them and for their families. Do you ever wonder what's happening in Myam and Jonathan's head and wish you could hear more of what we're thinking? You can do so on Substack. Check us out at Maim Bialik's breakdown on Substack, where the breaker community is growing and we release content there that is very special and unique to that community. We hope to see you over there. And now we hope that
Starting point is 00:01:52 you enjoy taking a look back at our episode with Howie Mandel in honor of OCD Awareness Week. Break it down. Hello. Where are you, by the way? What's the fun house behind you? This is my little podcast studio. What are the things behind you? Is that a, you put a coin in? You get a toy?
Starting point is 00:02:10 This thing? Yes. So this was, I did a show in the 90s in the late 1900s. I did a show Bobby's World on Fox. It was an animated show. So these are the, this was in, I don't know, like a Dave in Busters or whatever. They had a lot of merchandise. You know, I have happy meals here.
Starting point is 00:02:32 That's so cool. This was the Bobby character. There was like a live show that went out and they did, somebody was in that and danced and sang. And this is just my career in toys behind me. We're really, really excited to talk to you, really about a lot of different aspects of your life. But we'll start with the most important to Jonathan.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Let's talk Canada. Are you Canadian, Jonathan? I am. We represent here. I don't know if you can see our little tiny Canadian flag. Oh, that's quite a representation. This makes you seem bigger. Where are you from, Jonathan?
Starting point is 00:03:03 I'm actually from North York, and I played on the Willowdale Blackhawks, which the little research we got sent to us says that you're from Willowdale. I'm from Bathurst and Finch or Bathurst and Steelers. What school did you go to? I went to York Mills High School for a couple of years. And then I... Northview, Vanier, and Newtonbrook. Yeah, I had family at Newtonbrook.
Starting point is 00:03:24 I was at Bayview and 401, started at Finch, around the Finch, If you have, like if somebody has a roadmap of Canada or Ways, if you look at Ways, this will be an interesting part of the podcast. We're naming streets. I went to a lot of different high schools. Unlike you, Miami, I feel very, I don't even have a GED. No. I don't. Well, we were very excited to speak to you also from the Canadian perspective.
Starting point is 00:03:52 Jonathan does represent here. I tease him about how he speaks all the time. So that will likely happen today as well. But no, it's really a pleasure to talk to you. I grew up, you know, knowing who you were and appreciating, loving your comedy. But I didn't realize until I really looked at your bio, like, what an incredible career you've had. You've done so many different kinds of things. And you really, I mean, I don't want to say reinventing because it's not like you needed to reinvent yourself, but there are so many different aspects of you.
Starting point is 00:04:24 And you've been married a really long time. And I was like, that in and of itself, that's amazing. So her, you know, not for me. I'm the lucky guy. She's the one that puts in all the work and the effort. Living with me is the skill. Being me is a nightmare. Take us back a little bit.
Starting point is 00:04:42 I would like to know a bit about how you grew up and what your kind of family life was like. Were you raised in an industry family? Did you have siblings? Yeah, tell us a little bit about sort of like, and are you a Howard who goes by Howie? I am Howard. You know, Howard was, I have a little bit of a PTSD about Howard. Howard was, anybody who calls me Howard was never happy with me in the moment. Howard was, you know, admonishment, right? It was like Howard, Howard. And I was, and there was a lot of that more than, oh, it's Howie. Because, you know, I grew up, I'm 66 years old and I grew up in a time where,
Starting point is 00:05:21 and that's why I love that you're doing this podcast, you know, and I believe there's still. still is a great stigma attached to mental health. But I do think that mental health is equally, if not more important than physical health. And I believe that good mental health leads to and helps with good physical health. They're attached. I've actually gone and spoken on Capitol Hill to try to get insurance companies to parody the amount that they will invest in mental health. But that being said, I've had issues from the time I was born, but they were never really, I have a really good, happy family life. Really, I don't use the word normal, but kind of relatable.
Starting point is 00:06:02 I grew up in my brother and I, we're two siblings. I grew up in an apartment building. We shared a room. My parents were really hard workers. Later in life, my mother became like the number one salesperson of real estate in Canada. No aspirations to be in show business, didn't want to be in show business. Part of the things that I personally suffer from, which was diagnosed in my 40s, are ADHD and anxiety and depression and OCD.
Starting point is 00:06:32 And I had all of those from my earliest recollections. And they don't serve me at all. People say, are they gifts? If they're gifts, I'd love to return. You know, but the thing is that part of the each one of these things is the inability to, well, now I have ability. I'm medicated and I'm under and I have a lot of therapy. but I don't think of ramifications.
Starting point is 00:06:58 I just kind of act on impulse, and those impulses sometimes didn't serve me. And in fact, they didn't serve me as a child. In my home, I was loved and supported outside. I wasn't because I think every child, you know, wants to be like everybody else. You kind of don't want to stick out. That's not a good thing, uniqueness.
Starting point is 00:07:19 And I wasn't the class clown. I was a class pariah. I'd be making noises or I would stand up in the middle of class and shout something out. You know, my family was very much into comedy. And as far as watching it on television, my dad would buy albums. And I'd hear my parents laughing in the living room. And I wanted to be part of that. I, you know, I kind of recognized that laughter was a great magnet, you know.
Starting point is 00:07:44 But I would go into the living room. I've talked about this many times. But I'd go into the living room and they'd be watching a stand-up comic. And I was four years old. I didn't really understand anything. that was being said. You know, if the guy was making jokes about a mother-in-law, I didn't even know what a mother-in-law was.
Starting point is 00:07:59 I was four, you know, and so my first kind of entree into kind of understanding a little bit of comedy was candid camera. Are you going to take notes? I like to jot our little things down because we circle back. I'm very studious. I love that. And it's been years since I've seen a pencil. I think I forgot cursive as we sit here.
Starting point is 00:08:25 You could text. But anyway, I was watching Alan Funt. Do you know, do you know Candid Camera? Yeah, I actually did a, I co-hosted a reboot of Candid Camera with Peter Fund. With the son, right? Yeah, so I love that world. And I think it's some of the most interesting, you know, sociological comedy that there is. But go ahead.
Starting point is 00:08:46 So the first time, my parents were watching it, and it was a staple on Sunday nights. the 50s. And even in the 60s, I remember sitting down one day, and I'll never forget this, because this was like kind of changed my trajectory, my whole path, my whole life path. I was sitting down. I was four, and Alan Funt was this nice man who was sitting there, kind of explaining to me and everybody in the audience, that I'm going to pretend that I'm, this is my office, and I'm the boss. I'm going to hire a receptionist. And I'm going to tell these ladies that they have to answer the phone. And they're one, responsibility is not to miss a phone call and to take messages.
Starting point is 00:09:24 And I'm going to make that imperative. But here's what we've done. We tied a rope to the leg of the desk. And every time the phone rings, when she goes to reach for the phone, it goes through the wall. Somebody's going to pull the rope on the other side. And the desk is going to go away and we'll see how she. Well, that I understood, right?
Starting point is 00:09:41 You didn't have to be. And that anticipation, I remember, like, turning around to my parents and go, oh, my God, we're all included in this. It was the best feeling in the world. It's kind of like that feeling of like when you have, when you're making somebody a surprise party and they go, she's coming up, she's coming up on the driveway and everybody just hide. Everybody just hide. And so it was like this party.
Starting point is 00:10:04 And then the first time the phone rang and she went to reach for it and the desk went away. I mean, there was this visceral like laugh, all of us together. And it was the first time I was included in the laughter. And from that moment on, with no aspirations to be a comedian or to be. be in show business, I've always tried to reclaim that moment. And that moment hit on so many different levels. Number one, it was entertaining and funny. Number two, it was relatable because even as a kid, you go, oh my God, if I was sitting in a room and I saw a table move away and I didn't know it was,
Starting point is 00:10:38 I think I'd be scared. So it was like this relatability to humanity. I mean, I'm being more articulate than I would be as a four-year-old, but I know I had all these feelings. And from that moment on, it was such a good feeling that I always tried to reclaim that feeling. But I wasn't sophisticated enough, maybe I was just an idiot, to know that this was a television show, number one. Number two, I don't have a television show. Number three, I don't even have a friend or an audience, but I'm going to do these things just because they're good. I'm going to plan. And I didn't have the wherewithal to even tell one other person, this is what I'm going to do. I've told some of the stories a little bit later on in my life.
Starting point is 00:11:20 but whether it was, you know, phoning out of the yellow pages, a contracting, building contracting company and telling them, and giving them my name. My name's Howie Mandela. I didn't disguise my voice or anything and saying, we're thinking of putting an addition onto the library, you know, and at three o'clock, could you come out and give me an estimation, knowing because at three o'clock I would be sitting in math class and I could look down on the field and kiss me alone. Like, it would be better. I don't understand the psyche that I was working on. It would be better if I said to a friend, you know, you're not going to believe it. I called a company when you see the guy's going to be measuring.
Starting point is 00:11:56 I didn't tell anybody. So now I'm sitting in math. There's a guy with a tape measure and a clipboard in the field. I'm just, everybody's doing math. And like an insane person, I'm just giggling. I'm looking at the window and giggling at nothing. And if the teacher asks what I'm giggling at is the guy's there. He's measuring.
Starting point is 00:12:19 I called him. You know, and then you see the principal walk out to the guy in the field, and I know I can only imagine what that conversation is. And then I see him, I see the guy leave and I see the principal, like in a huff, go back into the office. And then you hear over the PA system, Will Howard Mandel, please come to the office. And I go to the office. And I'm standing there. And he goes, did you call somebody to put an addition onto the library? And I say, no.
Starting point is 00:12:44 He said, well, he has your name. I go, I didn't ask him to do it. I'm getting three estimates. and he did not laugh. And I just thought it was great. I loved that discomfort, you know? And he said, wait here and we'll call your parents. They called my parents.
Starting point is 00:12:58 My parents were sitting there. And he reiterated the story to my parents. And I could see my parents are like just biting their lip because they're supposed to discipline, but they can see the humor in it. You know, that was one of many, many, many, many things every day that I was doing that wasn't endearing me. I wasn't the class clown.
Starting point is 00:13:17 You know, I was just this. pariah, this weird little man who looked like a little girl. I was four foot 10 years old, four foot 10 inches high. My hair was past my, my voice hadn't changed. Girls didn't like me. I wasn't on any sports teams. You know, it was just like, I was just this person that would do things by myself and giggle, you know, and so that didn't get me a lot of. And then, you know, like even the other things with my OCD, I've talked about my misophobic. which is just the fear of germs and things. I have a younger brother.
Starting point is 00:13:52 When we would fight, it was just known in the house that if he would lift the lid of the laundry hamper and hold it up, I would scream like a little girl in run so he could win any fight. But it was just, you know, Howie's quirky.
Starting point is 00:14:02 Right. You know, until I was in my 40s and my wife finally gave me an ultimatum and said, you know, if you really, if you don't take care of yourself, if you don't go find out, it's just really hard to live with it. for everybody because I was making, you know,
Starting point is 00:14:20 I went built a guest house in case the kids had a cold. Right, okay, so hold on. Hold on. I want to get to it. I want to get to it. But take us, like, let's go from little Howie. Did this shift in junior high in high school? What was your experience?
Starting point is 00:14:33 This was just you. Like, this was Howie. That was your experience. All the way through. So I, because another thing is I can't focus and I can't sit, you know, if they allowed me because I have ADHD. So I would get up in the middle of class and just, wow, you know, and I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:14:48 You know, and that sounds weird, but just a kid getting up in the class and just yelling or just, you know, I would do things. And they go, who was that? It was me. Why'd you do that? I go, I don't know. I just, I just, I can't sit anymore. And they go, sit down or go to the office. So, and I'm really, that's why I'm fascinated by you. You know, I love math and science. Math and science to me are like doing puzzles. And I was really good. I'm still really good in math. You know, I didn't get to go far enough in science when, you know, before I graduated, you know, I got thrown out of that school with the contractor. They put me in another high school. I put another high school I got thrown out. I got thrown out of three different high schools before my GED. I was incredibly depressed. I was, again, like five feet tall. I got a job in a carpet warehouse. All my friends went on. They were still in school. They went to college. I didn't have anybody. I'll let you ask the questions, but I got thrown out school. So now not only did I not have friends, I was living, I was on a different life path than anybody else. And what did your dad do? You mentioned your mom eventually got into real estate.
Starting point is 00:15:51 My dad was in sales. My dad was like an entrepreneur who did well. You know, when I was little, he was a car salesman. And then he became a, he was in the stock market. And then the last thing is he bought a club, a bar and a hotel in Stratford, Ontario, Canada. And Stratford, Ontario, Canada is famous in North America for the Royal Shakespearean festival. My dad was really into counter-programming and he opened a strip bar across
Starting point is 00:16:20 him. Peter. And I would go sometimes, but he had a sense of humor. I remember like the headlining act was Princess Glow, who was a 350-pound naked woman who would take a bubble bath in a giant
Starting point is 00:16:36 champagne glass and she'd be soaking wet and soaked up and then she'd climb not so gracefully out of the cup and walk around the room and drop her giant wet breasts on bald men's heads your father was an entrepreneur that's what that word is for people yeah i don't know what that is but i saw that i never saw any i didn't see any shakespeare that's the only play i was able to see in but uh my ambialx breakdown is supported by superpower we all know the feeling of leaving a doctor's office and kind of feeling like we didn't get anything out of the experience that was useful maybe they're like you're
Starting point is 00:17:10 fine, drink more water. There's no real data. There's no game plan. This has happened to me many, many times, especially on the perimenopause journey. That's why we're fascinated by what superpower is doing. They send a licensed professional to your home or you can visit a nearby lab. One simple blood draw with over 100 biomarkers. That's way more than you usually get. It unlocks a true understanding of your body. Their app has detailed information on heart, liver, thyroid hormones, metabolism, vitamin and mineral levels, even environmental toxins. From disease prevention to treating that annoying brain fog or simply optimizing your gym game, superpower is the most comprehensive and advanced system out there.
Starting point is 00:17:48 I've been super tired of constantly guessing or just trying to read articles online about what to do for health. Superpower gives you an actionable health plan based on personal results. It's a real game changer. Plus, they have an on-demand clinician team to answer questions. Supplement or prescription suggestions can be directly bought through superpower, so you don't have to go anywhere else. They also have nutritional guidance, tips for lifestyle and behavioral adjustments.
Starting point is 00:18:10 You even get your true biological age that you can track over time. Superpower used to cost $499. Right now, it's $199 for the full experience, which is much more affordable than anything else out there. Make this the year you stop guessing about your health with superpower.
Starting point is 00:18:26 Superpower. Not only did Superpower reduce their price to just $199, but for a limited time, our listeners get an additional $20 off with the code break. head to superpower.com. Use the code break at checkout for $20 off your membership.
Starting point is 00:18:38 And after you sign up, they'll ask how you heard about them. Make sure to mention my and Biala's Breakdown to help support the show. And did you sort of begin to forge your own path as a comedian? How did that happen? So I went in the late 70s and in the mid-70s, disco was all the rage. And that's like the height of Studio 54 in New York. And as I told you, I didn't play sports. So I couldn't go to the Y once a week.
Starting point is 00:19:06 get a basketball game with friends. I don't gamble, so I didn't have a poker game or cards. I don't really drink, so I didn't go to the clubs and dance. I had nothing. They opened a club called Yuck Yucks in Toronto, and that was around the same time as Catch a Rising Star and the comedy store opened. And somebody said, one night, do you want to go to the comedy club? And I said, okay, I'd never been to a stand-up comedy club. I wasn't part of Second City, and I'd never been to anything like that. And I went to the comedy club. And it was the first time where I saw, I'd never seen, aside from on the Johnny Carson show, I'd never watch stand-up comedy. But there were people that were like my age and from the, they seemed like near-do
Starting point is 00:19:43 wells who were willing to share, you know, their, their experiences and the related, and it was fun. It was a fun night. And somebody, and then at the end of the night, Mark Breslin, who owned the place, and it was the MC, came out and said, you know, we also have, after midnight, if you think that you have what it takes to do this, we have an amateur, night and and who wants to do it. And somebody at the table went, you should get up, Howie. And I went, okay, because I always do. I always say, okay. And still, to this day, and that's my philosophy, which we'll talk about a little later. But it's also without any thought of ramifications. You know, this is before I formed kind of a life path. But, but I just said, okay. And without any thought,
Starting point is 00:20:27 I didn't prepare. I didn't, I didn't want to be a comedian. I didn't think about it. What did you think you wanted to do in life? Like at that time in your life, if we would have said, what do you want to do? I don't have a thought. I don't have a thought of what I want to do tomorrow. Got it. And I still don't have that. It's just, I just live.
Starting point is 00:20:42 Try to live in the now because my mind is so, can I swear on the here? Yeah, yeah. My life is so fucked up. I mean, my head that I'm always worried about what might happen. I'm always second guessing what did happen. I'm just so worried. And I live in my resting state is terror. So if things happen in the moment, I just like to live in the moment.
Starting point is 00:21:05 And if I thought of any joke, it was just in that moment I was going to get up on stage. And if there was a joke, the joke was somebody was going to introduce Howie Mandel. There's no reason for Howie Mandel to be on the stage. And if anybody from my school is in the audience or anybody that knew me from before, it's just the moment. So what happened? So you get up there. I get up.
Starting point is 00:21:27 He goes, ladies and gentlemen, Howie Mandel, I'd never been on a stage before. And I hit the stage, you know, with my arms out. And I've never been on a stage. And the spotlight is it blind you. You've been on the stage. It just blinded me. I've never been in that kind of. And I look, I could smell the microphone, the shitty beer breaths, you know.
Starting point is 00:21:47 And then, you know, within 30 seconds or 20 seconds, the applause dies down. And I'm standing there in quiet. And I'm looking down. I could see people in the front row looking up at me, like the strangers like going, okay, okay. And then I remember it's sheer fucking terror. Just terror. I'm just, it's like that dream where you show up at a party in your underpants. I kind of, without any thought, was displaying the terror out loud. I would go, okay, okay, all right. And if you watch my old videos of old, that's just terror with nothing to back it up. So I would go, okay, all right, okay, okay.
Starting point is 00:22:23 Okay, and I was just trying to think of it. And they started giggling at my discomfort. And when they were giggling, I was also got very self-conscious. So I'd go, I'd go, what, what? No, tell me what. And say things like, please don't laugh. It's throwing me off, which got bigger laughs, right? And then I put my hands in my pocket. And I told you, I suffered from OCD and mysophobia.
Starting point is 00:22:47 I didn't want to touch things. I always had rubber gloves with me because if I went out, I'd have to go to a public restroom. I didn't want to touch anything. And I pulled out a rubber glove and I go, look, I didn't have anything. Look, that was it. I had a rubber glove and the way you're looking at me right now and going, what fuck is that? And so I don't know what came over me except the glove.
Starting point is 00:23:06 I pulled the glove on my head and I pulled it down beyond my nose. And I started breathing and the fingers were going up and down, up and down. And people were laughing even more. And I blew it up. And it popped off my head. And the whole audience applauded. And I went, good night. And I ran off.
Starting point is 00:23:19 In the hallway, Mark comes up to me. He goes, that was amazing. You got to come back tomorrow. And I went, for what? And he goes to do comedy. I go, what am I going to do? He goes, do the same thing. I go, what the fuck did I do?
Starting point is 00:23:31 What did I do? And I started showing up at Yuck Yuck's, you know, and it was, that was my respite. That was a thing. Nothing, the most comfortable place on earth for me, even to this day, is on stage at a comedy club. And because nothing keeps me in the moment, the only place I'm comfortable, I'm in the moment. I can't worry about what's going to happen two minutes from now. I only worry about what I'm saying in that second, right? that really makes me the most present.
Starting point is 00:24:00 It's kind of like my analogy is like on a roller coaster. I love thrill rides because it does the same thing. The scarier it is, the closer to death you think you're going to become. And the adrenaline runs. You're not thinking about what you did yesterday. You're not thinking about what might happen tomorrow as you go on that death drop. And that is exhilarating. That is, it pumps adrenaline and you feel alive.
Starting point is 00:24:23 And you feel otherwise quiet is not good for me. In those early days, in those early shows, tell us a little bit about the process. Like, did you start writing for them? Did you show up the next time? And it was just like that in the moment. Did you realize, hey, this is my schick? Like, when did it sort of click in that you weren't just sort of totally winging it? Or did you just continue to totally wing it?
Starting point is 00:24:43 Well, even to this day, you know, winging it is my favorite thing to do. So obviously, you know, I knew that if I blew the rubber glove up, that would be the closing. so I always closed with a rubber glove. Or, you know, I had this voice that I did, which eventually became Bobby and Gizmo and Gremlins and things like that. That was me, that was for me choking on a piece of cake. And it was halfway down my throat. You know, and I knew that that was the, you know,
Starting point is 00:25:10 if I did those things, there were crowd pleasers, if not. But the best thing for me, even today, if there's a technical glitch, if something happens in the moment and I'm taken off that path, those are the best moments for me. And I don't mind, you know, the terror of quiet or having an audience turn on me. And if I could just claw myself back to acceptance, then I feel like that's the most fun. So it wasn't like I sat down and I don't have the discipline that like Seinfeld has to sit down and write and create and sit there like it's a job.
Starting point is 00:25:47 All my writing is basically done on stage in the moment. but after 45 years, I have a plethora of stuff that I know that wins and could get it and people want to hear it again or they want to hear the voice. But my favorite moments that I constantly go for is trouble that I know that is unique to that moment in that time. Did you bomb in those early days? Like, did you, because I'm sort of fascinated. No, I bomb, yes, but I don't mind it. I do. I'll get a corporate gig and, you know, try something. And I like those moments of bombing. I tell a, there was a story where, you know, you always focus on the harder, you know, standing in front of an audience. I remember being at Radio City Musical and just killing, just killing. And once you start killing,
Starting point is 00:26:32 you're on a roll. You know, it's kind of easy. You know what I mean? You get a rhythm and they're all laughing. They laugh at everything you do, even though each thing you say is not, it doesn't really deserve that. But I had the audience, except for one guy up front who wasn't focused on me, wasn't looking at me, wasn't really responding. And I don't know why, for whatever reason, I ruined the rhythm of the, of the moment. And I just went to stop for a second. Everybody, the fuck is what this, there's this idiot in the front row. He hasn't made any eye contact with me. He's not looking at me. The fuck is your problem. And the lady beside him goes, he's blind. And I repeated, you know, because the whole audience, the 7,000, I went, he's blind. And you could hear the, the joy being
Starting point is 00:27:17 sucked out of the room. My, my heart dropped into my stomach. You know, I just ruined. I go, this is like, I guess this is the, whatever the opposite of comedy gold was, this moment. It's like shit in your pants as far as in front of 7,000 people. And then, you know, there I was. And I'd ruin the moment. And the moment was ruined. But then I kind of just became that knee-jerk guy who just does what's on his mind. And I said, I said, let me ask one. question. Listen, I'm not making fun. You, I want to ask a question. Why? Why the fuck would you buy a blind person on row seats? You could put this idiot in the balcony. Tell him it's in the front row, but no, I got you good. You could lie. What the fuck are you doing? And that got the audience back.
Starting point is 00:28:10 And that's kind of like, that's kind of emblematic of the kind of moments that I hope and pray for. Not that I purposely will do something, but when it's real. Yeah. And that's why I love pranking because for me, that feeling of awkwardness, of being out of place, out of fear, of somebody being annoyed is so much better than, I don't like jokes. When somebody comes up to me and says, I want to tell you a joke and they say, two guys walked into the bar, well, they didn't.
Starting point is 00:28:42 Nobody walked into the bar. You don't know what happened. You're just making up a story and pretend isn't funny to me. I like reality and I like to be able to relate to it. But if somebody's in that kind of, I don't think it's mean either. I think that I would probably go along, you know, to watch terror in somebody's eyes for a moment, to walk into a dry cleaner with a shirt soaked in blood going, can I get this done in an hour? And if the cops come in, please don't tell them, give them any of my information, you know,
Starting point is 00:29:15 and they think that they're an accessory to a murder and explain to me why they don't want to do my shirt. I don't need an audience. You know, a lot of comedians say if they could just make one person laugh, they're doing their job. For me, it just has to be me. What was it like for you to try and date? Hell.
Starting point is 00:29:34 Yeah, I want to know about it. I'll get an example. On my wife, the first date I had with my wife, I had a reputation. You know, and I pursued it for a long time before she would even agree to go out. with me. And I'm from Toronto, Canada, and I took her on a date. The first time I dated her, I borrowed my mom's car. And I remember, it was a cutlass, a 1967 cutlass or something.
Starting point is 00:29:59 We, I managed the middle of the winter. And I got her in the car. We were going to a movie or something. And I made a left turn. And I hit an ice patch. And the car started spinning, spinning, like a crazy. And then we hit the center aisle. The car went up on its side and was about to turn over. But just as it did, just as it was about to turn over, it fell back and fell back on the wheels. I got to tell you that I thought I was this close to death, and I was really close.
Starting point is 00:30:30 I almost cried. I was going to cry. And my wife turned to me. She wasn't my wife. She was the girl I was dating at the point at the time. She looked at me and she goes, very funny. So it's not a joke. She goes, I know you.
Starting point is 00:30:45 you, you're always doing crazy shit. I go, no, I swear to you. This is, I didn't, I wouldn't, this is not. So, like, that was the, the reputation that preceded me. If I, if a girl would say, okay, and then her parents knew that she was going to go out with me, they would discourage her, or they had to meet me someplace else, so parents wouldn't see me. I had, like, the worst reputation, and I swear to you, I'm a good person. I am, but I couldn't control, there was no, I couldn't control my, my, um, behavior. So you continued dating, said woman, and did you kind of have an awareness at that time over kind of your quirks? Or was it really, I mean, you got married.
Starting point is 00:31:27 Like, was there, when did you sort of start digging into more about the things about you that maybe weren't so acceptable to other people? She did. I didn't. For me, you know, and even now, you know, there are so many people that, because I use it in my humor, you know, when you see this, two masks of theater, you know, tragedy and comedy, they're very, there's very little difference between all comedy comes out of tragedy, comes out of darkness, you know, even if you're at the circus and you laugh at a clown falling down. What are you laughing at? You're laughing at the misfortune of somebody you don't know, you know, a pie in the face, you're laughing
Starting point is 00:32:04 at somebody getting messed up, things that would probably ruin most people's evening in the room time. So, you know, humor always comes out of darkness. That's why this is a really dark time for comedy because we're in a dark time, but God forbid, you know, you say anything. There's no such thing in my mind. There's no such thing is too soon. No such thing is, you know, if that's what gets you through. If I'm not laughing, I promise you, I'm crying. So that's my, you know, panacea to make it. So, but that was my, that's who I was. You know, my humor and my, uh, quirkiness were, you know, part of the, you know, the palate that I am. So, what it was nobody really talked about it as much as just accepted it. What happened was with my wife
Starting point is 00:32:51 and eventually three children and now my grandchildren is she realized that this is really tough and this is, she got more educated on it and said, you know, this is a problem. I'm making, I'm making, putting the onus on my wife and my children. You know, don't touch that. Now wash your hands. No, you can't go. You know, I got a million funny stories, hysterical stories that I get. But they're not really hysterical if you, you know, if you break them down, it's really, it was me suffering. But she kind of, she goes, I'm just getting tired of doing this, watching this, removing this, not getting this, not being able to order this, giving back the food, leaving the restaurant, you know, like it's just, it's a lot of work, Howie. I can't do this anymore. I'm tired. I wore her down. She just said,
Starting point is 00:33:35 I can't do this. And when I went to therapy, wait, had you ever been to therapy before? No one ever said, go to, no, you were just operating in life. just happy as a clam or not happy as a clam, but you had never been in therapy. No, I was miserable. I spent a lot of time miserable. My resting mood is misery. It really is.
Starting point is 00:33:55 So I had never been before. And what she taught me is she goes, listen, Howie, you know, you spend a good part of your energy trying to control everything around you and making people try to live in your world. You know, nobody has to live in your world. You have to figure out how to live in everybody else's world. The only person you really have control over is yourself.
Starting point is 00:34:18 You know, your happiness has to come, or your contentment, or it only comes from within you. You know, it's not about, you know, what other people think of you. It's not about how people act around you. It's you, you know. So that's what I've been continually for the last 20-some-odd years working on. Did that land for you when you first heard it? Yeah. Yeah, because the biggest effort, because I'm tired at the end of the day, is it's about control, you know, controlling the people around me, controlling what you do, controlling how you eat, controlling what you pick up, controlling how close you stand to me, controlling what, you know, and the dichotomy between what I fell into in life, this business, and how I felt
Starting point is 00:35:03 about it. Like, I'm not a people person. I'm not comfortable around crowds. I'm not comfortable around humanity. I'm really not. But, you know, I'm in show business, which, you know, the average person, if they bump into, you know, six people a week, that's a lot. They go to whatever job they have and they go home and they see their family and then how many times are you around people? In the course of any given week, whether it's audience, there's that. I'm around thousands, thousands of people a week. You know, it's my biggest fear is, is kind of unfolding each and every moment of my life in front of me. I think, I think you actually did an episode of Big Bang Theory, when I was on.
Starting point is 00:35:39 I don't think I was in the scene. I feel like it was the season finale of like, I don't know, five or six. But I remember that there was conversation about like, you know, people like, don't go up to him. Don't try and hug him. Like give him his space. I remember this conversation about it.
Starting point is 00:35:53 But I do have a question. This isn't like to put you on the spot because I completely, I feel like you're such a. No, no, no. But you're so articulate about your experience. So it's not like I'm trying to like catch you. But a lot of people who listen to our podcast and a lot of the feedback we get and, you know, kind of, you know, a lot of what my experience was, you know, for example, with depression and things like that, there's a level of misery that you describe and, you know, you did a really, really brave article with People Magazine and you talk about this in detail.
Starting point is 00:36:21 But I guess what I'm curious about, can you tell us a little bit about what it's like or what it was like for you to be you and also still find joy, meaning you got married, you had children, like you had more than one child, Was that, were all of those things hard all along? And was it your wife that kind of kept the ship going? Absolutely. Okay. Yeah, can you talk a little bit about that? I will. And still even today, that's what it is.
Starting point is 00:36:53 I've told you, my resting mood is still misery, you know? And I believe that success in life, you know, and I talk about this a lot. People go, how do I make it? Like, how do I become successful? And ultimately, and I truly believe this from at this point of my life, you know, it's not, fame isn't something that's going to bring you any happiness, notoriety, money, none of that brings happiness. When you have a moment of, I'm just looking to be content for one moment at a time. I just want to be happy or passionate about one moment at a time.
Starting point is 00:37:30 And that's all you need. And, you know, when I found stand-up comedy and I, and I was, remember the day like it's yesterday was April 19th, 1978. That's the dare to get up on stage. You know, and that day, Terry was with me and we went to a Chinese restaurant. I have the fortune cookie. And it says, you know, tonight your light path will change. And I have it. I have it in a book. I put it in my book. I did my. And the fact that I have that, if I didn't have anything today, if I wasn't on any television show or I wasn't doing stand-up, as long as I can go, once a week to a comedy club, even if nobody knew who I was.
Starting point is 00:38:10 That's really enough for me. That's the biggest safety net I have for myself. I would look forward to standing on stage and doing that. Nobody is happy. So success is, which makes me unhappy in life, is find something, something, one little iota of something that you're passionate about. And no matter what you're suffering with, it is, I believe that one of the biggest coping skills in life is distraction, you know? And if you can distract yourself for that
Starting point is 00:38:41 moment and get away, like, can you imagine that most of the world wakes up each and every day and we hear about hump day, you know, which is, the connotation is, it's Wednesday, and you're halfway through the week of doing all the shit that you hate doing, showing up to a place you don't want to go, being with the people you don't care about just to get to Friday where you're just not doing that shit. It's not even like anything great is going to happen on Friday and Saturday. know, it's just a stuff. We live in a world where, you know, it's kind of normal to be unhappy, to not give yourself the gift, the passion, no matter how successful, no matter how famous you get, I promise you in two decades, nobody's going to know your name. You know, I have grandchildren now.
Starting point is 00:39:25 They're not really familiar with the Beatles, you know, and you couldn't be bigger than, you know, but it's nothing, you'll never achieve a level of something where you're going to go, You know, everybody is just as famous and just as rich in the graveyard. So we have this little short path of time and we got to figure out how to enjoy a moment, a moment in life. So I'm always striving to kind of just be content. So there's something, and I don't know if this will make it, but I have to ask it because one of the things that I most remember about no, about you was that you were Jewish. And, you know, my parents are first generation Americans, and, you know, they grew up in the Bronx in the 19, they were both born during World War II.
Starting point is 00:40:17 And you're kind of this, like, you're an in-between generation, meaning you're not as old as my parents, but you're older than me, like enough if my parents had me, let's say, when I was young. Your parents did have you when you were young. Well, sorry, I meant if my parents had had me younger, they would have been, never mind. One of the things, though, that I do remember about you was knowing, like, this is a very, like, this is a comedian who's, and I don't even know if there was something specific attached to it. I just had this knowledge that, like, you were this, like, you know, kind of representative of so much of Jewish comedy. I'm very proud of my Judaism. You know, I also was raised on, like, Jackie Mason and, like, very classic, like, Borsh Belt. And then on the other hand, I was raised on, you know, the Woody Allen, which was very, you know, culturally Jewish, but not. religious and not, you know, very like Yiddishy. But there's this kind of notion to a lot of the things about you that that do resonate very deeply with a certain kind of, you know,
Starting point is 00:41:17 post-immigrant sort of experience. And this notion of if you don't laugh, you'll cry, or, you know, if you don't laugh, you'll cry. And this sort of notion that we're in a constant state of vigilance, you know. And it's something that we've talked about that, you know, anxiety tends to run very high, you know, in certain communities. And, and the Jewish community is one of them. And there is an aspect of hypervigilance that is a survival mechanism. So I kind of wonder, you know, if if you feel that there's kind of, you know, a Jewishness to your style of comedy, to your style of thinking, or how that kind of factors in. Well, I think culturally we are probably to our own detriment, incredibly self-aware. That's why there's
Starting point is 00:42:01 a lot of Jewish comedians. We, you know, Jackie Mason is one of my my favorites at all time. You know, we poke fun at our culture. And, you know, you sit around a table of Jews and you'll know if there's 10 Jews at a table, you will be familiar with one of them's bowel movements in the last two weeks. You know, this is something Jews share that other people don't share. And it's probably better not to share. But I've always been, I'm not a, I don't like organized religion, to be honest with you. But I do like the teaching. You know, I wasn't really, I was raised conservative, but, you know, I lost my father in the 80s, and it destroyed me. And in order to show, I thought, respect for him, I decided, if you're not Jewish and you're
Starting point is 00:42:49 listening, we have the thing where you say, Kaddish, and every day and every morning and every night, you do a prayer for the dead. And in order to do this prayer to show respect for the person that has passed, you have to get what is called a minion. you need 10 other Jews or you need nine other Jews to in order to say the prayer. You can't even say the prayer alone. Everything is a, has to be catered when you're Jewish. So you need more than you. So, you know, and as a stand-up comic, I was touring that summer or that year. I never missed a day. I did it because I knew my father would be proud. It wasn't something that I would have done, but I wanted to make my father proud of me. He loved my act. So when they negotiated all the deals for me
Starting point is 00:43:34 to go out and do these tours. Every night, number one, I couldn't start before sundown. I couldn't, because you have to be there and say these prayers before sundown or at sundown. And they had to find me. Nine Jews? Yeah. And, you know, it's not like I'm not, I don't, most of touring is not always New York and L.A. I said Kaddish for a year.
Starting point is 00:43:55 And I found myself in all sorts of places where I was often, I thought the only Jew in the whole city. Right. So I thought it would have been a great documentary. I would be like in the, you know, Alabama someplace, and they would have to find me. And sometimes they couldn't find so that they would find out. They'd look to the obituaries and there was going to be a funeral that day. And I'd go to a funeral.
Starting point is 00:44:15 I'd go to somebody's funeral. And then I'd be back to their house. And then they would put scaring in a bag and send me off to do. They didn't get to do that. But every day, when you do this, the rabbi who was ever officiating the ceremony does some team. from the Talmud. And I got really kind of inspired by the teachings. And the teachings of the Talmud, and this is what I truly believe, I'm not espousing this on anybody who's listening, but whether you believe in God or not, you've got to believe that there is a power, whether that
Starting point is 00:44:53 power be science or whatever, there's a power greater than us. The fact that if you've ever had a child, you go, oh my God, this is a miracle. How does this even happen? And it's like, How are cells multiplying? How is humanity ever? You probably know, this is a neuroscience. But, but, you know, in order to, whatever this is, this universe is, it is a power greater than any one of us. And we must respect that power. And that is what I believe in. I respect that power. Whatever you want to name that, if you want to name it, God, if you want to name it, Jesus, I do respect that there is something greater than you and me out there. And not only that, and, you know, they always go, the chosen people. I go, I don't believe in that kind of, I don't think one part of
Starting point is 00:45:38 humanity is chosen over another, but we as human beings are chosen to be there for other people. I will talk a little Jewish. There is something in Judaism that's called Sadaka. And Sadaka is the ability to give, to be charitable without taking credit for it, which, you know, I don't think many Jews live by because if you've ever been in the gold sting, wing of your temple, that's exactly the opposite of what Sadaka is. You know, you don't want to, you don't want to park for what you've done. But what I truly believe is that as a human being, if in your periphery, you see somebody in need, you need to reach out.
Starting point is 00:46:17 You need to give. That is your duty as a human being. And all the practices of Judaism, like my kids didn't want to read or learn for their bar and bat mitzvahs. And they go, why do I have to do that? And I go, listen, the reason you. have to do it. I don't care if you don't understand any of the words. This is just my philosophy. I don't care if you don't understand any of the word. This is in our religion where they delineate,
Starting point is 00:46:40 that's why most bar mitzvahs say, today I'm a man. This is where they delineate between childhood and adulthood or the time to be responsible. If as a child, you know, you go, we've all had had this as parents. The kid walks in the room and goes, why is that man fat? You're saying horrible things of maybe hurting people's feelings, but you go, oh, it's a child. He said something. embarrassing. At 12 and 13 years old, that's no longer an excuse. At this point, you have to be a responsible human being. And as being a responsible human being, your presence on this earth, people should be better for knowing you. People should be helped because you're here. People should be, and that's also on the day, we have the most holy day is called Yom Kippur. On Yom Kippur,
Starting point is 00:47:24 what you should do is even if it's not about fasting or saying, for me, not about fasting and single spirit. Every human should take a day and say, you know what, I've made some mistakes this year. I got to be aware of those mistakes. And how can I grow as a human being? I want to be better next year than I am today. So, you know, it's called Judaism. I don't go to temple. I'm not kosher. I don't, I just want my kids to be really good human beings. And, you know, I think along the lines of the teaching of the Talmud and the teaching in Judaism, that's a good kind of path to follow parallel with. I'm not on the path, but I think as a human being, I just want to, if I see that you need help and I can help you, I don't have to know you.
Starting point is 00:48:13 I believe I should. It is my duty and my responsibility to help you and to just try to be the best human being I can be. And in this path to do that, I just try to be content. I just want to not be miserable. You know, with all the years of therapy under your belt and I, um, I, I know, know you've spoken about that you do believe, you know, you do believe and use medication. What would you say are kind of the main differences that you experience in your life?
Starting point is 00:48:38 Because I'm someone, I actually have OCD as well. And so there are a lot of things that shift and change and there are certain things medication can touch. And there are certain things medication can't touch. Also, the topic of my thesis, my doctoral thesis, was obsessive compulsive disorder in a particular population of individuals. So it's a topic that's really special to me for many reasons, but I'd like to know kind of what your experience is, what are the significant differences you see, either in your OCD or in how you deal with it, or in kind of your general mental health since being in therapy. Well, it's just about, and this is what I would say to anybody who's listening, it's just about being open and malleable to recognizing that this is
Starting point is 00:49:23 an issue and being willing to be open to what ever coping mechanism. You know, even with medication, I'm not a proponent of medication. I'm a proponent of doing whatever it takes to allow you to be more productive and to be able to survive. So, you know, there's been times when I've been medicated for two, three years and then whatever my body chemistry has changed or, and then it's not working. And then I try a new medication, which has helped somebody else.
Starting point is 00:49:52 And I slide down the darkest hole you can ever imagine sliding down. And then I find that, you know, for a couple of years, it was running. I needed to run, you know, whatever. I would run 10 miles every single day until I, my ankle is like worn to nothing. And I was feeling the pain, but I needed that for my head. But that was a coping skill. So whether it's meditation, whether it's exercising, whether it's just talking about it, whether it's whatever it is, I'm open.
Starting point is 00:50:20 And I also know that it's not something that there is a cure for. You know, I'm just doing the best I can today. I can't tell you that tomorrow won't be a horror show. And the medication that I'm on today will not have any effect on it. You know, your body chemistry, your hormones, everything is constantly. You know, this was your thesis. I know nothing about it. I'm just talking to you, you know, just from personal experience.
Starting point is 00:50:47 It's the thing that gets me through is openness and open to just. you know, to different solutions and different ideas. And if somebody told me a different idea today, I'd be open to try that. I'll try anything. That's amazing. You know, being strapped with this, you know, I know you know, but I don't know how many people have come up to you and go, I got a little bit of the OCD. People love saying that to me.
Starting point is 00:51:16 And I get really annoyed with it when they're like, I like my shoes lined up. I'm so OCD. I'm that annoying person who both as a neuroscientist and someone who has OCD says, that's actually not OCD. It may be, but stacking your shoes is not evident. No, but they, you know, the average person is, it's, you know, not who doesn't, who likes germs? Right. Who doesn't.
Starting point is 00:51:37 I actually don't mind germs. This is a feature of me. I was thinking about this today. I was to say something really gross that might gross you out, Mr. Mandel. You know your AirPods case? Uh-huh. You know how they build up an enormous amount of earwax? My children have never cleaned theirs.
Starting point is 00:51:54 And I kid you not. I was just like, give me your cases. And they were like, ew, don't. Doesn't even bother me. Cleaned them right out. It gave me great pleasure. But that's not my issue either. The point is that, you know, what I try to explain to people is with OCD, OCD for me,
Starting point is 00:52:11 or whether there are rituals or obtrusive thoughts or whatever that I get. And you obviously get them that totally stop my life. Yeah. When I am suffering in the midst of whatever issue I'm dealing with, I can't deal with life. I've missed appointments. I've missed productions. It stops my fucking life. And I understand why somebody like Howard Hughes ended his life.
Starting point is 00:52:41 At the end of his life, he was naked in the fetal position, pissing into a bottle. And I tell people, you'd have no idea how many times in my life I am that close to that. And it's not a joke. But as a comedian, and you're also kind of thought of as very lighthearted. Right. Well, you know. No? I sometimes.
Starting point is 00:52:59 A lot of people think I'm, well, I think it's different. I think when women are. You've been involved in comedies. No, I consider myself a comedian. I really do. But I think, you know, there's a lot of things that I think also when women say them, it's taken different than when men do. And we each have our own path and our own experience.
Starting point is 00:53:17 And, you know, hearing somebody while I have OCD too doesn't. doesn't make me more comfortable in my life. Exactly. And I don't know why they're telling me that. And I always say, I hope you're exaggerating. I hope you don't because I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Yeah. I really do suffer.
Starting point is 00:53:35 You know, and I'm not looking for pity. Sure. There isn't anybody in life that doesn't have, you know, some cross to bear. Coming from a Jew, that means a lot. And, you know, we all have our issues and things are harder for, one and harder for another, but it's worth it. It's worth the fight. It's worth the struggle, but it is a fight. It is a struggle. Life is a struggle. Right now, the last couple of years, I think most of the world has been going through a fight and a struggle. You know, people have been
Starting point is 00:54:03 making jokes about me because I'm the germaphobe and they go, you called it. And I go, well, you're like, I can handle this global pandemic. I am on it. This has been horrible for me. Yes. What can we, I mean, your bio, you do so many amazing things. You host so many amazing things. you produce so many amazing things. You have a podcast with your daughter. What would you like to sort of prominently plug before we let you go? My podcast with my daughter.
Starting point is 00:54:27 I do this thing called Howie Mandel does stuff, and that was a coping mechanism. So my daughter, who also, you know, a lot of this is genetic, who also suffers like myself or like herself. And she was locked away for two years. I mean, she didn't leave the house with her kids. She has two kids.
Starting point is 00:54:46 And so we used to phone each other, and I'd sit on the phone with her for hours, and we would do everything to distract herself, whether it was call friends and we would all discuss or make prank calls, you know, and just to distract ourselves or just goof around and have weird conversations about the news of the day. And my wife walked in one day and said, what are you doing? And I just said, I'm just been on the phone for two hours with Jackie. And she said, you should record it. Some of it sounds funny. And that became our podcast. It's called Howie Mandel does stuff. It's with my daughter.
Starting point is 00:55:19 I'd love to have you on. I would love to come on. All right. So I will, I'll hitch up for that. I would love that. And, you know,
Starting point is 00:55:28 we do once a week, we do a podcast, we have friends, it's just goofy. It's not, unlike yours is much more, there's much more gravitas and probably does good. I don't know that we do any good,
Starting point is 00:55:38 except we just have a really good time. And we're enjoying ourselves. Like I even, there was a podcast company that wanted to do my podcast. I went with them. And then there was, there was too many restrictions. We don't even have, I don't have sponsors,
Starting point is 00:55:51 I don't have anything. We're just doing it out of the love of doing it. Awesome. Make Mime have some fun. I have a lot of fun. Howie, I have one question. Do you still do- Is this about Canada?
Starting point is 00:56:02 No. Do you still do pranks that are only for yourself? All the time. I make phone calls. If all, every day, every time I get a spam call, you know, with my cars warranty, an extended warranty, or I've won Marriott points.
Starting point is 00:56:17 my new little self-indulgment is trying to keep them on the line as long as possible. I want to hear that recording alone. I've recorded a bunch of those, but I don't even play them. I don't put them on. I just do it all the time. I feel, I don't know, there's something about being able to manipulate another person for good, you know, just for, it's just fun. They're annoying me with their phone call at 7 in the morning.
Starting point is 00:56:43 My record now is 55 minutes. I've kept somebody on for 50. just trying to get them to spell their name because I'm writing it down really slowly. I was a huge Phil Hendry fan and also Jerky. I was, I mean, I was, I don't know. I'm sure he's been canceled, but that was some of my favorite stuff, that and the jerky boys. So yeah, really, really, that's good stuff. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:57:05 Well, if you're up for it, you can come and do a prank with us. I'm told my voice is very distinctive, so. I would love that we should record it. We'll release it as a special edition. One of the things that's missing from your psychiatric profile, which is very present in mine, and I'm always comparing and despairing, is I have a tremendous social anxiety problem, meaning I can't, I don't have the kind of freedom that it sounds like you find. No, I'll tell you something. If I'm on stage, right. If we're doing this podcast, I have freedom. No, no, no. I mean, like if I go on a, like improv makes me cry. in a way that's not healthy or fun.
Starting point is 00:57:46 Like, I feel I... But then the pressure's on. You know, it's like I will not go to... I don't go to parties. Right. I don't go to, you know, I can't carry on a conversation. Yeah. I can't carry on a conversation.
Starting point is 00:58:01 Well, that's why I bring this guy. In my mind, I'm, you know, if I talk to somebody, I board them to death, I'm coming off with an idiot. Yeah, I don't like that. Funny and I can't think of anything. Right. And it kills me. And then I go home or I make an excuse or I'm out.
Starting point is 00:58:17 I have social anxiety. I have horrible, horrible depression. I have everything. I mean, we're not, look at two Jews. I was going to say, it's like a contest and you want to win. I want to win, okay? Okay, we're going to let you go. Howie Mandel, thank you so much.
Starting point is 00:58:32 This was really a pleasure. Absolutely. Take care. Be well. Nice to meet you. Your father's Nishama should have an alia. I like Howie Mandel a lot. And I do remember when he was on Big Bang Theory, it was like this big deal of like, he's coming.
Starting point is 00:58:50 He doesn't want to touch anyone. I could have talked to him for another hour. Like I had so many questions about germophobia, which is distinct from OCD. It can be a feature of OCD. It's one of the things that can happen in OCD, but not all germophobes have OCD. And not all people with OCD are germophobes. I would have talked to him for a lot longer. Because you're Canadian.
Starting point is 00:59:10 We didn't show of her on this, but he stayed on afterwards. And he was asking you questions, which not meant. many guests do. No. And I was actually thinking, I wish, this is the kind of person I wish would ask me about myself. I want to talk to him. Do you think you're like Bev where you thought it and then it happened? Like she sees her. I accepted Howie Mandel to ask how I am. I think that might happen. You know, it's really, there's that word again. Like, it's really brave to be like, here are all the things about me that are clinically diagnosed and that I have to be in therapy and take medication for. And he said he was really nervous that nobody would hire him.
Starting point is 00:59:45 And, you know, I envy his kind of lack of, you know, fear about feedback, you know? Like he's so, I don't want to say impulsive, but he really just like, he acts, he does things. And I, even though he says he's not, doesn't have a lot of like, what do you say, foresight or what's the opposite? Hindsight. Or hindsight. I found him very thoughtful. You know, he's very thoughtful about the way he approaches his mental health. And it's just an amazing story, you know, to make those kinds of changes after so many years of just like getting by, you know, I think that's really, that's incredible.
Starting point is 01:00:20 It's, I find it really inspiring. Maybe I'll finally change. Just kidding. The story of his first stand-up performance and him being like, what, tell, like being so engaged with the audience. Number one, I think that would just, I could see the reenactments in the 70s. It's smoke-filled. downtown Toronto and yuck yucks. But also...
Starting point is 01:00:44 Tell us about downtown Toronto and yuck yuck. You laughed harder at the funeral minion story in Alabama and that whole Jewish tint than I think you have in all of the podcast we've done so far. I mean, that's that that, I mean, first of all, just like, as someone who said Kaddish for my father and did have to try and find a minion, also imagine being a woman,
Starting point is 01:01:08 where in many places you are not even counted as one of the ten. So I remember I was in Savannah, Georgia, and I called ahead of time to try and find a place, you know, that had a regular minion. And that's the thing is that reform and conservative synagogues often don't have a daily minion, but Orthodox ones always do. So that's the place that I could most rely on. So I know that struggle, and I just love the idea, you know, that that's the way to find Jews. is like find out if there's a funeral and there's your minion.
Starting point is 01:01:41 I love that he just says, okay. I mean, I wanted to make the joke that that's how we got on this podcast. We just asked him and he said yes. And he's like, what am I doing here? That's kind of how we do a lot of things, you and me. That's how Matthew McConaughey got on the podcast. He just said, all right. Who are these people?
Starting point is 01:01:56 We don't know. Well, it was really very special, again, you know, to get to meet someone who I really did grow up, you know, knowing as an icon. And it is a really big deal. you know, he was one of the first Jewish comedians that wasn't 86 years old that I knew about. And yeah, just really, really awesome. And he does so many things.
Starting point is 01:02:17 He's on all the shows. He hosts the things and America's got talent. And then he produced and deal or no deal. Like, he does so many things. And this podcast, I can't wait to listen. That just sounds incredible. And I'm going to make my kids listen and be like, one day you'll do a podcast with me.
Starting point is 01:02:32 I love the fact that his parents were laughing in the principal's office at the prank. I bet his parents were off. That's the thing is like other parents would be like trying to change him and that his parents were just like trying to control their laughter. You didn't compare getting kicked out of school stories. I never got kicked out of school. I left school. You dumped them before they could dump you. Exactly.
Starting point is 01:02:55 Do we haven't asked my am anything? We certainly do. Ask my am anything. Yeah. Betsy W. asks, can you meditate yourself out of a mental illness? Well, Betsy, that's a good question. Lord knows I've tried.
Starting point is 01:03:14 No. Mental illness is not something that we typically think of as kind of you getting rid of. There are ways to manage the symptoms of a mental illness. You know, meditation is one of those things that certain kinds of meditation can help, you know, activate aspects of your nervous system that will ultimately be able to calm you down and help you lower your baseline anxiety. You know, meditation has many physical benefits, psychological benefits. I think of meditation as kind of a supportive treatment.
Starting point is 01:03:50 It's something to add to your toolbox and is how he spoke about, like being open to like anything and learning different kind of things that might work. Meditation is now, you know, kind of prescribed along with a lot of therapy for depression, for anxiety. Meditation can absolutely help. and I also don't want it to be like, you have a terminal illness and you'll never get better. Meditation is absolutely helpful for really any mental health challenge or for general mental wellness, even if you don't have a diagnosis.
Starting point is 01:04:21 But it's generally seen as a supportive thing to do along with whatever else you're doing to work on your mental health challenges. So thank you and we wish you the best. Before we go, do you want to comment on my new glasses? Did you notice them? For those people who are listening, I'm trying out a new pair of specs today. Your new glasses are very nice. It's a round shape. It's a horn rim.
Starting point is 01:04:43 A lot of color for you. A lot of color. Because it's tortoise shell on the top and kind of a, not an amber, but yeah, they look very nice. Brings out the gold in your beard. Well, that's a great description of them. And a great way to end the show. For anyone who wants to, you can comment that. Bialic Breakdown on Instagram.
Starting point is 01:05:04 Also, make sure to follow us on Instagram. We're enjoying building. up our fan base and sharing a lot more personal content there than I do on my Instagram page. And it's become a fun place. We're doing giveaways. So make sure to follow us there. If you want to ask Miami anything, you could do so at Biolicbreakdown.com. That's BIA. L.K. Breakdown.com. Thank you, everyone. And if you haven't already, subscribe to the podcast, do it anywhere you get podcasts. Subscribe to Mime's YouTube channel. And thanks so much for listening. From our breakdown to the one we hope you never have. We'll see you next time.
Starting point is 01:05:38 down she's gonna break it down for you she's got a neuroscience phd or two one fiction one and now she's gonna break down so break down she's gonna break it down she's gonna break it down

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.