Mayim Bialik's Breakdown - Re-Air: Jodie Sweetin: My ADHD is a Superpower

Episode Date: October 10, 2025

In honor of ADHD Awareness Month, we are revisiting our conversation with Jodie Sweetin! Jodie Sweetin (Full House & Fuller House) discusses her work as “Stephanie Tanner” on Full House, living with ADHD and how she thinks it has helped her, and the importance of showing up as the parent you needed to have yourself. She explains how therapy and sobriety allow her to be a better parent and the importance of honesty in a parent-child relationship. Mayim and Jodie consider the need for prison reform after Jodie opens up about being adopted as a baby after she was born within the prison system. They discuss coping mechanisms in nature vs nurture and share their earliest childhood memories. Jodie reveals the top 5 things that keep her centered and ways she redirects feelings of wanting to run away into efforts of self-care. Check out our full episode with Jodie Sweetin: https://www.bialikbreakdown.com/watch-podcast/jodie-sweetin Follow us on Substack for Exclusive Bonus Content: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bialikbreakdown.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BialikBreakdown.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube.com/mayimbialik⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi, I'm I'm Biolic. And I'm Jonathan Cohen. And welcome to our breakdown today, in honor of ADHD Awareness Month, we're going to revisit one of our very popular episodes from 2023 with a very, very popular actress, Jody Sweeten. You may know her as her most legendary role was Stephanie Tanner on Full House and also the spinoff, Fuller House. She's also a producer. She's a host. She's an author.

She's an activist. We speak to Jody not only about living with ADHD and how she thinks it has actually helped her, but what being diagnosed later in life meant for her and how it has informed her parenting style. Really interesting. Back when we talked to Jody, I would say obviously ADHD was part of the conversation people were having, but since we recorded this episode, it's become even more talked about and understood, especially diagnoses later in life. So that's why we're airing it now in honor of ADHD Awareness Month.

Spoiler alert. Myam and I actually took an ADHD quiz after speaking with Jody. It wasn't the next day, but we explored it and we had some fascinating results. I think there's an episode about ADHD and highly sensitive people out there on the internet. There's some overlap that we talked about. Here's the other spoiler alert. Jonathan thinks that I have more ADHD than he does, which I think. is hilarious. Jonathan has a lot more of the externalizing features of ADHD. I have a lot more

of the internalizing features, as it were. You should watch what happens when Maim and I try to sit down and complete a task together. Neither of us. That's not true. We focus in very different ways. Correct. We focus in different ways and we get things done. A friendly reminder to check out substack where we release exclusive content that you can't get anywhere else. There's an amazing community. There are of breakers talking about the episodes. We can't wait for you to check it out as well. We hope you enjoy taking a look back at our episode or maybe hearing it for the first time with Jody Sweeten. Break it down.

Jody, welcome to the breakdown. And it's very exciting to sit with you because, first of all, you look amazing and you look like you're still a teenager. I appreciate that. Which is how I, you know, I still sort of, I mean, I know you get this a lot and you still... I lose on TV. I know, but you look at me. So that. And we recently had Candice Cameron Abrey on and people just love this era.

People love full house. Like, so it's actually, it's really fun to have you on here. And I don't want to say that I've been wanting to speak to you even before I wanted to speak to her. But, you know, I've followed so much of your life and your journey and was just very excited to get to talk to you. Thank you. Also, as I mentioned to Candace, my first audition ever was to play DJ in Fall House. Really? Yes.

And I know you're like doing the math. That's amazing. I'm 47. I started acting when I was 11. And that was the first audition I went on. Oh, wow. You had been acting long before 11, but I had just started acting at 11. What are some of the common notes that casting directors will give feedback to an agent about?

Either, it's usually either one of two things. either they're overly theatrical and they need to tone it down and they're like playing it like to the back of the theater or or they go in and just don't really they're just kind of really shy and quiet so i already am more different than you thought okay okay well i just feel like that's oftentimes like kids are like i love this and then you send them into an audition and they're like no no no i just rushing just speaking way too fast oh god oh i Story of my life, I get it today. Still, that's, yeah, no. So that was the note. Also, I don't, I'm gonna, I'm even gonna venture to say something. I know for me, my brain works 5,000 miles an hour, and I have a feeling yours might as well. Yes.

And I feel like sometimes that's why we talk really fast, because I'm like, if I don't talk fast and get all of this out quickly, I'm going to distract myself. Well, it's part of, I'm going to lose interest. It's part of my delicate psychiatric profile, which I think is very charming. Girl, it is part of my charm now. At nearly 41, I've incorporated it to be charming. But it's nice to be invited to someone else's breakdown, by the way. And not my name. Always.

Welcome to our breakdown. Yes, exactly. Where you get to share things that are not currently breaking down for you while we just share our current breakdowns. No, but the other thing I was going to say is that, you know, a funny thing happened. On the way to the forum? Pretty much. A funny thing happened, you know, when I started acting in 1986. I looked pretty much then like I do now, meaning like I had prominent features.

You know, I had like a whatever. This is my face. And, you know, I remember when I told my parents I want to. I love your face. Thank you. It's an awesome place. I'm growing to love it. Really?

I love unique faces. I like faces with like unique. Yeah. No, but I mean like faces that like. Character. I've got character. Yes. Yes.

Well, in 1986, though, you can imagine that when I said to my parents, I want to be an actress. Like, they looked at the television and looked at me and looked and they must have been like, what does she think she's going to do? Because this, like, ethnic features were not popular in the 80s. And I had blonde hair and blue eyes. I could have been your sister, but from another mister. No, no, I don't think so. I think actually from the mister that we were supposed to have all been from, like I'm just saying.

I look more like the late beloved Bob Saggin than any of you. And I don't mean this, but he was from my tribe. Like, right. In any event, you know, obviously that show and the cast that was put together, you know, became such an iconic part, you know, of so many lives and also the lives of the actual humans like you who were living it. And, you know, and also just with the resurgence, you know, and with Fuller House, which actually I think films right next to Call Me Cat.

I also work at Warner Brothers. Oh. So it's just been what a fascinating, you know, kind of book ending of your life. I mean, you were a little one when you started. I was four years old when I started working in the business. I started doing commercials and things like that. And I was like four, a little over four and a half when I did my first television appearance on Valerie, which was the Valerie Harper show. And then I got cast from doing that on to full house at like barely five.

What do you remember of being that, like, do you, because I barely remember things like I was in, I did square dancing in kindergarten when I was four. So like I remember some things, but like, how much do you remember kind of of that period of your life? I think oftentimes what we remember, we have flashes of what we remember and we also have lots of flashes of what are. photographs tell us. And luckily, that was a pretty well-documented period of my life. So I have like these really great reference points to be like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember that. Or like these pictures either that, you know, were behind the scenes that my mom took or whatever

behind the scenes, you know, video and John Stamos took tons and tons of video. So we've got all this video of growing up. Like I actually am fortunate because I not only remember it fairly well, but I have. have all of these reference points to like trigger those memories. So it was, I mean, I don't remember much of my life before being on house. Right, which most of us, you know, likely don't. I mean, prior to five years old. I mean, most of us are like, I don't know. So I imagine that, you know, you spent those kind of formative elementary school years and really into your junior high years. Yeah, all through middle school. It wasn't until I started high school that I was going to school full time.

Wow. So what, gosh, what was education like for you? because, like, again, I started working regularly, you know, when I was 14, which is, like, a very different phase of life. Like, you have different tutors for subjects, and it's like, you're in algebra too. And, like, there's a lot to, like, hold on to. Right. But, you know, you had to kind of, like, learn all the basic stuff that happens in elementary school, like, in a very different environment.

Yes and no. You know, it's, I was really fortunate. So the first season of Full House, I was five years old. I had just started kindergarten. Now, I was in kindergarten for about three days and got moved out and, and, I was. out of kindergarten. You're like, peace out.

Peace out. See you later. They were going to move me to second, but moving in first grade. So they moved me into first grade and I... So you were precocious.

I mean, that's... Yeah, I mean, and I don't say that. It's like that sounds like I'm pregnant. No, no, but something... I skipped kindergarten, the finger painting. You know what I mean? The big stuff. No, but something about you

because like, whatever, my brother skipped second grade. Like, but there was something about you at that age where they were like... Yeah, I was reading by the time it was, before I was four, I could pick up most any book and read it.

I was out of... I was... Yes, precocious is a good way to put it. So I started first grade and I was doing full house and that first season, I think like the first season and a half, it was the usual sitcom work schedule

or five days a week, work three weeks off one week. So the weeks I was off, I would go to regular school and then I would be tutored on set because we were kind of still, you know, figuring it out. By the time,

I want to say the second or third season rolled around maybe even yeah about third season I was able to go to school in the morning and then my mom would pick me up because I lived in Orange County back in the days when you could make it from Orange County to LA and under an hour you know so so very long ago and my mom would pick me up from school at lunch I'd work on my script in the car I'd come to work and I'd rehearse on stuff in the afternoon and then Thursdays and Fridays were like block and shoot and audience tape days and then those days I would be exclusively on set because we had to go later so I would have to start and that was just normal for you like it was just like I go to school and this is my after school thing I do I would do that I got used to like traveling on weekends and doing homework in the car

or you know on set or like banking three hours you know so the next day you wouldn't have to do as much school or whatever but I think honestly for the way my brain works having gotten diagnosed with ADHD later in life, I have found that looking at all of those ways that I grew up, I think were actually, it was like the perfect environment for someone like me

because I was constantly stimulated and doing something different and learning something new and balancing three or four different things and going in different directions. So, yeah, I think if anything, it was like the best place for my brain to flourish. What made you initially be like, maybe I should explore this as a potential diagnosis or label.

My girls were struggling with it, and I was reading more and more about girls and how ADHD affects them. It looks different than in boys. It looks very different. Tell us a little bit about what you learned. It looks like talking a lot. It looks like not being able to shut up in class, and let me tell you that was the number one thing. I got in trouble for.

Like, name on the board every day. Teachers hated me, but they loved me, but they were like, she can't. I don't physically think she can stop talking. Wow. And I was like, I can't. I can't right now. It's good for podcast hosts.

Yeah, terrible. You know what? It's true. You're going to be in town tomorrow, and I'm going to give you the what for about that comment. What? It's a positive. So I just had a friend of mine, 65 years old, just recently talked and realized that she had ADHD.

And now she's looking back at her entire life, wondering like, oh my gosh, so many things make sense. Don't talk about me when I'm right in the room, Jonathan. You don't look at a day over 60. And then also the flip side was she was asking like, okay, now that I have that, like, how do I know what my superpowers are? because it does come with extra abilities in certain areas. For sure. The one thing that drove me a little bit crazy about realizing that Maim has as much or more ADHD that I do, is that she used to get annoyed with me for like, you're not focused, you're doing too many things.

But really, it was that she needs me to just be like this totally still because it distracts her. Right. That's the problem. Put two ADHD people in a room together and watch 17 things. not get done simultaneously. But no, I, you know. Or if you can channel it. Well, that's the thing is my area, what I realized is, you know, people on set would, I mean,

you would not know it. Even now, like, I've moved into directing and I've done, I can keep 9,000 plates spinning in my head on set. I know what hand I picked up what with. Like, I know where something was, like every single detail I can remember as an actor and or director. I get home, I can't find my keys. And what I realized is,

is most people with ADHD have an area of hyper-focused. Mine is what I love to do, which is perform and be on set. And so the reason I never feel more at home than when I do on set is one, because I literally grew up there from the age of four. And two, because it's the area where my brain is like,

yes, I'm in the place where I thrive. So I think, you know, it's interesting to go along and learn these things about yourself and kind of go back and piece things together. And you get to give yourself a little break and go, oh, I didn't know that then. So I felt like something was wrong with me because I didn't have it figured out until now. Ma'am, I've heard you describe something similar, the way you break down a script, the way you know where everyone is supposed to be in a scene, the way that like everything tracks and you're tracking every part and it's all making sense to you. that level of diligence and focus definitely comes out. And I've seen you, you know, talk about directing and be in the same zone where you're just like, it just all is like clear to you. Well, I mean, I think, look, I can't speak for you or for you. You know, for me, there's a,

there's also a real safety in that level of vigilance about details because it means that the focus is anywhere but on me. Do I have to pee? Do I have to eat? It doesn't matter. I'm just like, Yeah, what is? I'm dialed into, you know, everything else. So it really is, it's, I mean, in some ways, I think it's a, like, you know, it's compensating for something. It's like, it's like a defense. Right.

Look, you pull the thread of this sweater and it's complicated. The whole thing's going to unravel. Yeah. But it is. It's part of so much of what makes us really good at what we do. Yeah. And then in other areas, be like, oh, my God, did I, I don't, did I take my meds this morning? No, I am.

For most of my adult life, I've, for most of my adult life, I've, had a bell on my keys and on my wallet because I lose them all the time. So at least I know to like jingle, jangle every jacket because it's almost always like somewhere like that. My NBialx breakdown is supported by Superpower. We all know the feeling of leaving a doctor's office and kind of feeling like we didn't get anything out of the experience that was useful. Maybe they're like, you're fine. Drink more water. There's no real data. There's no game plan. This has happened to me many, many times, especially on the perimenopause journey. That's why we're fascinated by what superpower is doing. They send a licensed professional to your home, or you can

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One of the biggest misunderstandings that we had was when you were writing your script and rewriting your script, you were in like the later phases of the redrafts. And when she, like, we would talk about a note and then she would be like, got it. Okay, I'm going to sit and rewrite this scene. And then we weren't in the same room. We were hanging out over Zoom. And then I would go and start scrolling. and that scrolling would be distracting her.

So she wanted me to just sit and watch her rewrite the scene. Very quick writer. But like that was agony for me. Like I'm like, I'd be dead. I'd be dead. Yeah, that would be a lot. Also, I love how we have sidetracked this conversation

into a full ADHD blow. This is just an ADHD episode. When I think about also your like full house life and then your fuller house life. And I didn't mean to say like it's bookended because you have a long life and career ahead of you. But I know you've been asked so many things about so many aspects of full house and fuller house. So I'm trying to like find different ways to like talk about things that maybe you haven't, you know, maybe explored the same way. And one of the things I was thinking about is what are sort of your reflections that like kind of, you know, this very early moment of your career was essentially rebooted, you know?

so many decades later. Like what is that? Obviously it speaks to the popularity of the show and the interest, but kind of personally, I would imagine it must be so interesting to like, you're playing, you know, you get to have a character grow up.

Right. So what is that like as an actor like to get to, you know, have a character grow up and you don't see all those years in between but you're what happened after this whole time has been off? Right. I mean, you know,

I was always really excited. to get to come and bring Stephanie sort of back to life. Stephanie was such a fun character to play as a kid. And, you know, it's so weird because I don't know, oftentimes I feel like I don't know sort of where Steph ends and I begin. Like we have this very blurred self. I mean, I'm very clear that I am not Stephanie. But I get what you mean.

But you know what I mean? It's your voice. It's your face. as a kid they really used so much of who I was to inform who Stephanie was and who Stephanie was was this kind of amplified version of who I was so it it I liked her I liked being her and and that made me I think like me because it was you know these things and this person that I sort of was anyway so getting to come back and play that person decades later and have stuff have you know

like I gave stuff some backstory you know you know You know, yes, it was a sitcom and it's whatever. But I was like, what happened to stuff in between? Like, you know, why was Steph kind of away from her family for a while? Like, you know, Steph kind of went and did her own thing. And like, this is hard for her to come back to. And, you know, this adjustment and all of this kind of stuff. What's the craziest part of her backstory that you gave her in your head?

Like, did she join the circus for a minute? I mean, Steph basically, it's in a way. She was, you know, DJing in Europe. Like she basically, I feel like Steph got it. moved to Europe probably for a dude or a relationship and the guy like some some some some some idiot guy and like did he give her ecstasy at a party and he told her water would taste good or something like that or like he or he was just kind of a douchebag like music producer you know what I mean and then and then she wound up staying there in europe and being like you know what screw this guy like

I'm going to do my thing and she did that and that's why she had been gone from family so long but also like it was kind of a shitty relationship. So she was really like I didn't want to be with anybody. She just wanted to do her own thing. And like, you know, her sister obviously with her happy family was like, I just, it really hurt. You know, there was a lot going. There was a lot of layers.

And probably none of that ever showed up. I love it though. It was probably in the episode where I argued with a clown because God knows that was some hard hitting emotional topic. I love that. I love that notion also that, you know, you each had to have, you know, kind of a journey. And I think, you know, another kind of interesting challenge and, you know, you were, you were so young. So, like, whereas, like, the DJ character, you know, she was, like, older and, like, doing, like, already, like, tweeney things.

Right. Like, it's different. And, you know, my mom is the middle of three girls. Okay. So whenever I see, like, a show with, like, you know, three girls or whenever I, like, meet people who are, like, one of three girls, like, I'm always like, tell me all the things. My mother was the middle child. Okay. And so there's, like, a huge dynamic also to your character.

that was like so the middle child, meaning like in the most, I think, helpful and appropriate ways for a TV show to inform, like, about birth order and especially like with the dads and like all good. Right. But then I also think about your identities

also in real life in that you were different people. Right. You had, I mean, I don't mean to group Mary Kate and Ashley because they were playing one person. Right. They were very little. But let's say we had these like three personas.

Right. And like, you know, Candice was like, she was Candice. And then like, they were like, no, no ones. And then here you are. And you're really like, also in terms of like the public eye, like you are. You're like that middle child because it's like. Look. So tell me what it was like to sort of like play the middle child, but also feeling even in your like celebrity presence, you were the middle child.

I have a great middle child story from full house that is literally, it is, it was unintentional but is completely the epitome of middle child. moment. So there's an episode in full house where Jesse and Becky are moving out of the house. Okay. And, you know, when Jesse moved into the house, he moved into Stephanie's old bedroom. Correct. With the pink bunnies. Now, the pink bunnies were supposedly hand cut by Pamela, Stephanie's mom, Jesse's sister, and placed on Stephanie's room when she was a baby. That was her room. Yeah. So those pink bunnies were Stephanie's room. Okay. the episode where Jesse moves out I believe Michelle gives Jesse the pink bunny or vice versa

No Michelle gives Jesse the pink bunny or vice versa Something happened and I was like Wow But it's not like in real light Like now looking back on it I'm like but that was like it's just so funny I was like oh what a tree Now I do I actually know what it's like to be a middle time

Well, but it was cuter if Michelle did it. Right. You know? And the episode where Steph moves into the bathroom, I died hysterically laughing because my younger daughter did that several years ago and like just went and camped out in the bathroom, like brought pillows, blankets, like just went and was like, I like it in here. And I'm moving in. And her sister was like, get out of the bathroom. So, yeah, that was interesting. But yeah, it was.

It was, you know, there were definitely those times. As an only child, I really was like, oh, so this is the in-between experience, you know. And it was fun to have that faux family, but not going to lie, it was nice to be able to go home as an only child and be like, I just have to me to worry about. Right. It's interesting because, you know, we just, we lost Leslie Jordan recently, you know, from our show. and it's, you know, very, very interesting to try and... He was in the first commercial I was in. Wow. What was it for?

It was a... Oh my gosh. Was it the Sizzler or the Oscar Meyer commercial? I mean, these are two excellent choices. Excellent choices. And I'm trying to remember whichever... But I... Anyway, it was one of those, and he played... I actually wasn't in it in my scene with him. Okay. But forever... Like almost my entire career, every time I would see Leslie Jordan,

not the first thought was like, oh my God, there's this fan who's had this amazing career, who is a genius and I love, but was like, oh, that was for my commercial. Like, you know, as like a little kid, that sense of like, you know, it's all about me sort of. No, I get it. But yeah, I loved him. No, he was a really very special man. I'm so sorry. Thank you. But, you know, the thing that's like hard to kind of articulate without sounding like a crazy Hollywood person,

and I think you'll totally get it is like, I wish there was a different word for the kind of family that's created on a set because it's not a family in the sense of like, it's not your family, meaning you don't share family trauma, you don't share, you know, holidays or you don't share like people in common that like, oh, aunt, whatever, you know,

you don't share a rhythm of a calendar where it's like, when are we going on big? When am I going to see my cousins? It's not that kind of family, but it is, it feels as, you know, as connected and not in like a Hollywood way of like, oh my God, we all love each other. But like we spent,

you spent more time with the people at work than you did with your home family. And, you know, honestly, I look at it, like, we did, we would plan vacations together. We would go, our teachers would plan, like, field trips for us because we'd always miss out on the field. So, like, you know, my school field trips were with them. And we would go and we'd go on location

and we'd go travel together. Or, you know, I grew up and I spent a lot of time with Bob. daughters. I would go spend a weekend at his house and we'd all go to Johns and his sisters were always there and his mom and dad. We all knew each other's families. Our families would get together for, you know, weddings, funerals, celebrations, holidays, rap parties. So we did know each other's families. We did share like, I mean, it was, it was really, really deep. Yeah. And I, and also, like that's an extension of the fact that you start with this working relationship that's very intense and you're with each other. And I know, you know, when I was acting and, you know, there are hours that you're allowed to work when you're little.

But still, you're spending like most of your waking hours. Like these are often the first people you see in the morning. They're the people that you, you know, have breakfast with, you have lunch with. You sometimes have dinner even, you know, and if it's a late night. They're the people that you work with when you don't feel well. Totally. They're the people that you. Right.

who have to take that in a kid. Like they are the people who, you know, are around you every day as a kid. Like they are. Well, and I think also for for people like you and me who like literally spent like formative years. Yeah. Those were the people that like knew me when I, you know,

was a kid and then watched me like become a teen or a tween. Like they're part of your life. And yeah, you know, it's almost like the way that I kind of think about it is like if you have distant family that you see a couple times a year. Right, right. Or once a year. You know, they can be like, oh, my God, you grew so much. But with your set family, no one really notices that stuff because you're together all the time.

Meaning you're just all growing together. There's none of that, like, you know, people would sometimes ask like Ted Wass, you know, who played my dad on Bloss. I'm like, what was it like to watch the kids grow up? And he's like, it was like watching my own kids grow up. They were there all the time. Oh, my God. Right. Like, or you, the crazy part was, I remember when we would come back from hiatus.

That was the one that was like, oh. my God. Like, you know, and it wasn't like hiatuses were really long. It was maybe two and a half months, six weeks, eight weeks. And, you know, kids, if you had kids on a show, man, they'd come back and they're like, you know, we'd come back to the show and the kids had like totally, you know, their voices had changed. And they're, yeah, puberty had happened.

We're like, oh, my God. Now what? It happened. All the ideas for this show don't work. Jonathan, are you doing okay over there? Do you need anything? That's very sensitive of you, Jody. I appreciate that.

I want to check in on you and make sure I know that mine doesn't listen to you. so I just want to be your new favorite, really. Finally, I feel seen, I feel heard, I feel accepted. Let's talk a little bit about your kids, because I believe we all have a child born the same year. You have a child born in 2008? I have an 08 and a 10. Okay, so I have a 05 and an 8, and he has an 08.

So we all share a 14 or 15-year-old. The only time I ever hear this, like, 08 is in reference to my kid's soccer. teams when they're like oh they're in oh like because it goes by what year they're born so yes so we're building a soccer team so you have two girls i do you have two 12 and 14 you are just in it is my guess i am seventh and ninth grade and you know i have to say those are both horrible years for me just want you to know i mean they they're hard and horrible years for me and for most people too but I will say my ninth grader is in a much better position than she was, I think, in middle school. And my younger one is just kind of in the thick of it now.

I feel like seventh grade just as a rule is like really, really terrible. I remember very, very few redeeming things about my seventh grade year. Like it was the first year of middle school. It was just constant bullying and harassment. and like everyone was terrible. We were terrible to each other. We were terrible to teachers. We were terrible to our parents.

We were just terrible. And thank God we made it through. Right. But I see it now and I would say I have apologized to my mom more in the last couple of years than I have ever in my entire life. I just call my mom. I'm like, I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. I had no idea.

You're right. You're right. You did know. I thought you didn't know. You knew. I know. They don't know that I know. Right. She's like, mm-hmm. It's fun, isn't it? And you live in L.A. I mean, the L.A. area.

I do. Yeah, yeah. Yep. Okay. So you're raising them in L.A., which also is its own. And people are like, well, if you don't like it, get out. And it's like, I thought that I don't like it. It's just like it's very different from raising children, I think, many other places. Absolutely. Look, city kids are, city kids are different than suburbia kids. Yeah. And I say that having sort of had a foot in both. Yeah. I grew up in Orange County in like suburbia land like very, very normal outside of L.A.

childhood. Blue collar working parent, you know, like that was my upbringing. But then also had this foot and like this really sort of weird fun over the top, like you know, L.A. experience. So I do know that it is different and I do know

that my growing up in Orange County was a different experience than growing up than my kids here in L.A. But by that same token, I know that so much of my experience growing up here in L.A. and growing up in this business and being exposed to so many different people really helped shape me into the person that I am today. And so in that regard, I do feel like my kids still have that experience of just the world is very big around them. And sometimes that's a terrible thing. And sometimes that's a great thing. And unfortunately

these days, I don't know that any of us are safe from some of the scary stuff that happens, whether you're in a city or a suburb. Totally. You know, there's some of that that you just kind of go, I guess, you know, some of it has to, it's just kind of the world

that they live in now. But I love that my girls have had this experience. And, you know, they have grown up in ways and around people and experiences, I think that are going to really

serve to make them interesting people later. Yeah, for sure. The other thing I wanted to, you know, mention something, Jonathan and I talk about a lot. You know, there's being a parent is like its own like, what? It's its own journey.

And mostly, I really feel like I wish someone had told me like, hey, guess what? Everything you didn't work out from your childhood. When you have kids, you're going to have to go through it like to the endth degree with like a time limit and with someone shouting at you and throwing food at you. Like everything comes up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going to be you get to learn how you wish you would have been parented. Right. You get to learn how helpless your poor parents were, you know, and how overwhelmed they were. Right. Well, and I, you know, I can't help but, like, think about the timeline. Your kids are about the age you were when full house kind of was ending. Am I doing the math, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also, you know, a lot of the challenges that you've been incredibly brave

in talking about and incredibly helpful, I think, to so many people in being open about, a lot of of those things, you know, for you, did start to kind of like bubble and simmer when you were their age. And I wonder, do you feel like you have special, like, protective insight, you know, about those years for them? Or do you have fears about it? Because, like, for me, and I think for Jonathan as well, it's like a combination of, like, when we get to, like, big milestones or things that were hard. It's like, oh, but I don't have to live it again. But then it's like, oh, but I kind of do. Right. I mean, that's the terrifying part as a parent. I think that's the, that the realization that your heart now lives outside of your body

and actually conduct its business completely separate from you and really doesn't ask you if it's okay, but is fully capable of breaking you without any of your input. And that's what parenting is in a lot of ways. It is trusting your heart to be outside of your body and just hoping that nothing goes wrong. You know, I'd like to think that because of what I've been through, I have the ability to see it coming quicker.

My kids are going to realize and know better. I'm going to be more aware because I worked in treatment for years. You know, and I have spent enough time in my own sobriety, in my own therapy, and in life to know that unfortunately none of those things guarantee anything. and that if people who got sober could see it coming any sooner in their kids, there would be never any, you know, generational families, you know, celebrating birthdays

together at a 12-step meeting. I always say that. I'm like, if we had figured out, forget about sobriety. Like, if we had figured out parenting, we wouldn't have to fight about it. Like, the fact that any... There wouldn't be 9,000 books. Right.

Like, the fact that anyone, including myself, you know, the fact that anyone might feel at any point, point certain that they know what to do with anyone else's child. The only time you know what to do with someone else's child is when you don't have children. Then you know everything. I know, God, I knew so much. I knew so much. And you know, I got my degree in elementary education. I was going to be a teacher. And so I worked in classrooms and stuff when I had graduated college. And let me tell you, man, other people's kids, they love you. They listen to you. I mean, not all of them, but a majority of them, there's respect. It's because kids don't want to listen to their parents. Right. Get those same kids.

home with their own parents and it my kids and I'm like what oh I used to take my kids to my friend nancy's house so he would eat a vegetable right yeah if nancy put it in a soup it was like set from god yeah yeah yeah yeah same soup this is shit right right right dog food right right I don't like it right it's always someone else but the one thing I have for better or worse always said that I want to be with my kids is honest and open. And so, you know, while there are not, there are lots of details about my story and who I am that my kids don't know, there are a lot that they do know. And, you know, my daughter actually told me the other day that she's like so grateful that she and I have such an open relationship and that she tells me everything, which probably means she doesn't

tell me everything. But she tells, but that means she might tell me a good portion. And I tell her, I know you're not going to tell me everything. And I make sure that there are people in her life. that she trusts, that I trust, that she can go to, you know, whether they're my parents or my best girlfriends or my husband or whatever so that she knows, like, look, sometimes mom doesn't have all the answers. And I will tell my kids that, like, look, I don't know. I'm doing my best. I realize that may not make you feel like super great, but I'm just trying to figure it out too. Yeah. Well, I think that's so helpful. It's one of the things, you know, that I think is a foundation of a really healthy dialogue, you know, for kids to know, like, I'm not.

I'm not perfect, you know? And many of us were raised with this notion of like, father knows best or mother knows best. And in many cases, that does make you feel secure because like, oh, they know. Right. But then like my... But then you feel betrayed because you're like, they didn't know.

No, this is a good one. So I grew up, well, my parents, my parents are from the Bronx. Okay. In New York, it's a place. Oh, I know they're the Bronx. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's where the Yankees are from.

Yes, yeah. So I grew up with this, it wasn't even a belief. It was a truth. that stores were closed on Sundays. Just all stores. Right, right, right. Everything closed Sundays. Everything closed on Sundays.

So my whole life was kind of geared around like we did things during the week or like on Saturday. I didn't grow up observing the Sabbath. We grew up, I grew up kosher. It's a long story. Anyway, everything's closed on Sundays. And I start like going out into the world doing things being a human. And it turns out things are not closed on Sundays.

They're not. They're not. But in the 1940s and 50s. in New York, things were closed on Sundays. It was called Blue Laws. And there's still a district of New Jersey where actually I filmed my movie where things are closed on Sundays.

However, that's only true in this like one region of New Jersey. That's not where my parents were from. They had never been to that part of New Jersey. But this technically wasn't a lie. It was at a point some truth. Right. But that to me like that's even what's funnier

is that like there was no need for anyone to ever look into anything because things are closed on Sundays. So here I am like spending my whole life. On Sundays I'm bored. On Sundays I watch a lot of Twilight Zone. And it's not that they were keeping it from me. There's no maliciousness in this. But it was just like that was my life is that things are closed on Sundays.

I wish someone could tell me now that things were closed on Sundays and I believe it. And I just tell you kids to be honest, I don't leave my house much on these days anyway. Who am I kidding? But that's a great example of like we could. I mean, sure there was no Google, but I'm sure we could have asked someone. Is this a rule in California? 3,000 miles from where my parents were raised? What it is, what happens is that it becomes,

and then you go, no, my parents said, and then you get into an argument at school. And then it ends up in therapy at 16. Look, who, you waited until you were 16? Oh, how lucky. No, I, look, I, first of all, I think everyone needs therapy. I, it is, I, you're right. I love my therapist.

Oh, thank God for therapy. I love my therapist. What do you love about therapy? You know what my therapist said to me recently? She said, and it sort of ties into being a parent yourself, is she said that parenting is learning how to reparent yourself. And it's learning how to be the parent that you needed to show up for you in good ways and bad, like in all of the ways that, you know, maybe didn't happen.

and that there's nothing wrong with your parents, and it's okay that they did things wrong. Or different. Or different. Right, right, right. That it doesn't make you a bad person for then talking about it and being like, that kind of fucked me up. You know what I mean?

Like, because I think that there's so much, we have this weird parental thing tied into like, oh, I don't want to like think that I did that they did a bad job. they didn't do about you know and but yet at the same time like I know right I'm and I'm very open I go look you guys I say this is my case I go you are going to need therapy I know it not because I'm a terrible parent but because I am a parent human yeah and that's why do you think that our experience because I have a very like that's a very similar script to what's in my head and I wonder if if there's something about also growing up in the industry where kind of like everyone was my

parent, meaning I was sort of in a situation where I was really constantly sort of like monitored and protected. Right. And just like more monitored and hopefully protected. I mean, I had a very, thank God, I had a very positive experience. As did I. Yeah. I think I, like, did you hate it? I was like, no, I loved it. Yeah. But I know not everyone had that. Well, and I know, I know your set. Yeah, I think your set was known to be a very clean set and ours was as well, meaning I, some people grew up watching, like, people were doing like drugs and drinking at work and like, no, no, no. No, no. of that. But even so, like, it was kind of always like someone was watching, you know? There was a, there was a studio teacher. Yeah. Or just like a PA or an AD. Like someone was always like, if I had to pee, it was like,

okay, well, we're going to like wait outside your door, make sure like you come right back out. And I'm wondering, though, if that also like, it's like we had this like Uber parental, like, everybody was our parent. So there's this notion that like, if I speak badly, everyone's going to hear. Like, it feels like the audience is bigger in my head, maybe. Well, I think also that was something that was at least in my house and not in a bad way like that my but as a reality of growing up in this business what my mom always reminded me of and I can't imagine it these days but what my mom would always remind me is people are watching you yeah oh that's creepy it's true and I knew from a young age that I didn't have the luxury to go out and do stupid things or well well

Well, I did, and I did. I had the luxury and I did them. But I, we didn't have the ease that other kids did. But I think, you know, I grew up with that being the voice in my head of you just, you know, be agreeable. And I heard someone say it to recently that growing up in this business, you're often taught that being agreeable is the most important part of being set. Yeah. And I think most people have the opposite expectation of this business that you're taught to be difficult as a child actor.

As a child actor, you, you know, part of what your job is and what makes you a good child actor is that you're like, I will stand here. Get it right. Just get it right. Just do what's asked the first time and that's it. None of that, like, you know, it sounds sort of whatever, but like that wasn't necessarily a bad thing growing up.

Like it was just sort of my experience. And it was like being in class, go pee before you go to school. Right. But I always knew that. my life wasn't private. And, you know, the first time I was in a tabloid was, I think, nine or ten years old. And it was completely fabricated. It was saying that I was a problem on set and that Bob was trying to get me fired. And this was at a time when, like I said, I was very close with Bob's family and his daughters and was spending time with, like, his family

on weekends and like, and so I remember. Like really untrue. Yeah. And I remember. I remember it was Star Magazine, and I remember it like nine or ten years old having to come to terms with and understand the reality of sometimes you don't get to be heard. And that, you know, and that you just have to continue on regardless of what the external is, that that you have to just kind of keep going through that. And I don't think a lot of nine or ten year olds have to learn that lesson. Sure. But I look at that also as like that idea has served me well in a lot of ways too. But it definitely, I've had to dissect it as I get older. It's made me able to do my job without getting sucked into my feelings.

But then when it comes time to like, to like, oh, what are my feelings? It's like, I don't know. Those are so locked away right now. It's interesting. And I'm sure you get this a lot more than you should, meaning I don't think anyone should ask really anyone this, but I'm sure we both have gotten asked this many, many times. I was asked just today.

I had a speaking engagement and, you know, someone was like, why does so many child actors turn to drugs and alcohol? And like, I really don't, I don't love that question because what I like to point out to people is, why do so many humans turn to drugs and alcohol? And I say, like, you know, I went to public school in Los Angeles. I was part of the busing program

like plenty of kids were trying to fill that God-shaped whole with whatever they could and for some people it's food and for some people but but I do want to say and like it's not my business to speak for anyone and also you know I've

I've known many actors who did not make it you know I've worked with many actors and socialized with many people who are no longer with us so I always felt like when people ask me that it's like it's not for for me to speak to their memory or to their families who are grieving for the rest of their lives, you know, for me to say like, well, my parents did this and that's why. Or like, or even to be

like, you know, and for me, my story happens to be like, I'm a second generation American. My parents were very, very strict. But I have no idea really the intricacies of anyone's human experience. So I would always say, I would always say, like, it's much more complicated than that. It's more of a mental health issue and like a crisis of a denial that mental health exists. But when you talk about what you just mentioned, that for me doesn't relate to drugs and alcohol. It relates to just our human experience when we've been through the kind of thing. And this is not specific to actors. This isn't like, ooh, Maya and Jody talking, you know, about acting. This is just like we're all under different kinds of pressure. There's pressure in the family. There's pressure outside. If you play sports,

if you're, you know, whatever. Our experience. I mean, yeah. Right. So our experience is absolutely more magnified, more observed. But that pressure of, it really is most convenient if you have the fewest needs possible. That happens to a lot of kids. It's just in the industry, it's our go-to. Right. It's our go-to. Like there's literally, we don't get sick days. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. You're like, are you dying? Like, maybe. Well, right. Come in a word. We'll see if we can get a doctor to come in. Right, yeah, exactly. And I remember, like, I, I have.

But to this day, taking a sick day is very, like, I have to be. Crawling. Near dead crawling. And only with the pandemic did I finally go, you know what, take a sick day because, A, it's not worth it. And be like, no one wants your sick ass around. Go stay home. You know what I mean? But it was, that felt like, it was, that was just a part of, like, you just, you don't,

you don't get to take a sick day. Well, and also it reminds me of when we talked to people who grew up, you know, people who grew up in alcoholism or with active addiction in their homes. There's often not room to have needs because it's like it's always about who else. And that's really what it's like to be a kid on a set. Even if you're the star of the show, that's what it's like. Like, what do you need? What does he need? Okay, there's not room for me.

It's also. Did I just compare being on a sitcom to growing up in alcoholism? You did. I didn't need it. But I just meant like having to take into account everybody else. needs because they're important. That's called codependence. Yeah.

No. The title of this episode. Because I have now. Yeah. Here's the thing, sort of tying all of it together. I too say the same thing about addiction and growing up in this business. I grew up, again, went to a public school, had lived in a great neighborhood with, you know, great schools and great education and parents all had jobs and all, you know, families

living together and quote unquote, you know, happy families, whatever you want to call it. and there were kids in my neighborhood that OD'd and died in their homes and that went to jail and had their own struggles with addiction and that wound up on the streets. But the other, you know, five or six kids in my neighborhood, you don't hear about them.

But you hear about me because people grew up watching me. So much like what you said, I don't know that it's necessarily... It's hard to gauge, right? It's hard to say, does this affect child actors or people who have grown up in this business more, or do we just know about it?

Because every time it happens to one of those people, we hear. So it seems like it's more often. And then, you know, also, is it the personality type that's drawn to doing this? Great question. Is it, you know, the personality type of a kid that makes it, that does well in this business is a kid that probably has a little touch of ADHD and maybe a little, like, neurodivergent. Narcissism. But maybe either a little narcissism or the opposite and extreme people pleasing and codependency and all of these things that as a kid.

Makes for a good actor. You don't necessarily, they're not, as a kid, they're not yet maladaptive practices. They're just who you are. And then you grow up and you go, oh, I let those things. I never learned how to unlearn some of those things. but I don't think that it's because I was on TV. I think that was who I was anyway, but that, you know what I mean? It's like this, you can't pull them apart, I don't think.

I think the person that I was made me interested in entertainment, I think entertainment at a young age shaped who I became. I think who I became was, you know, the path I was on anyway, but also, you know, largely shaped by a lot of weird things that happened growing up. So, you know, it's, it is, we're complicated personalities and child actors are, you know, we're a little different. Well said, really. I honestly, I'll be honest, I've been talking about these things. I mean, I'm 47. So, you know, I've been acting, you know, I started Blossom when I was 14. You know, I don't know if I've had this level of analysis and camaraderie around this. You know, I'm always very nervous to say, like, I'm always very nervous to like blame these. industry on problems that we might have, but also like very, you know, very reluctant to also be like, I made it out because also like, you don't, like people don't know.

The reason, honestly, the reason that this, we started talking about this, because I was talking about therapy. And only in the last maybe year or so have I really started going like, oh, wait, I get to pick this stuff apart and realize that life is that gray area, right? Nobody has a perfect childhood. Nobody has a perfect experience. And there are also great things that happen in terrible circumstances, right? And all of those shades of gray are true. And until I'm willing to look at the pluses and minuses and the gray areas of all of the things of my life, I don't think I can really adequately get down to the bottom of the shit that I need to until I can go, oh, that was kind of good, but that kind of was a weird, but that was awesome. You know, like, that's life.

It's all very complicated. And, you know, I think remembering that and pulling those things apart without feeling that guilt in the shame and feeling like I had a wonderful experience. I still struggled with addiction. I don't think it was entirely the business's fault, but there was a layer of it. Do you share your sobriety date or your current sobriety? Or even roughly speaking, Like, are you a toddler? No, I'm not. I'm double digits. Okay.

I'm double digits. And I... Are you a teen? Not yet. No, you're not old enough to be a teen. Not yet. Okay, so you're a kid. You're like, you're in elementary school and trying to get to junior high.

Right. And you know, and I will say like recovery looks a lot different these days than it did in the beginning. And I think for me, my experience and my practice of sobriety, of, of, of, of, of, 12-step principles and programs. And what that looks like for me, like, it's changed a little bit over the years, but it is still the through line that, like, I try and, you know, practice these principles and all my affairs because I learned to just be a much better human. Yeah.

And I find myself to be a better human today because I still look at what is my part in things? How do I, you know, can I keep my side of the street clean? If I, you know, fuck something up, can I go back and be like, yeah, I've, like, yeah, I've A 10 step. It's a 10 step that we can do every night. Right. You know, when we talk about like our personalities when we're little and especially,

you know, thinking of you starting so young and, you know, as someone who started late. I mean, I was considered late and people think that's ridiculous until I like talk to people like you like literally like it's what you know. Like for me, I had like a normal. Right. I mean, it wasn't so normal. But yeah, I had like a, I had my version of normal. A normal.

Right. A normal messed up child. You know, I do. I want to ask a little bit when you talk about, you know, your mom. mom and dad. So I didn't know this about you. So you were adopted. Yes.

As a little tiny one. As a little tiny one. You're a little over year old. Okay. And you were raised by, is it your uncle? No. Well, okay. So it's my, it's complicated.

Yeah. It sometimes requires a diagram, but I'll do my best to. So, and I talk about it in the book. My adoptive parents, my mom and dad, Sam and Janice. Okay. Sam's ex-wife. Okay. his ex-wife is my biological dad's aunt.

Oh, okay. So my adopted dad's ex-wife is my biological great-aunt. Got it. And my dad has three kids with her. So technically, they are my cousins by blood, my half-siblings by adoption. Right. So basically you were- But they were all like adults, but my dad's much older.

So you were essentially adopted into extended family. is kind of how it is. Yeah, exactly. And it was, yeah, it was, you know, there were connections there and it was, you know, and I was fortunate that I did not have to, that I, and I had family that, you know, had brought me home from the hospital when I was an infant, not my adopted parents,

but, you know, other family and friends that had taken me home. You know, I was lucky that I didn't wind up in the system and that I did have people that stepped in. Were you born in the system? I was. I was born in LA County Jail. LA County. Well, I mean, technically I was born at USC County Medical Center. Okay. But as part of that, that's fascinating. I mean, I'm just being honest. I don't know that I've ever spoken to someone, you know, who was really part of the system like that.

Yeah. And then my, yeah, my biological dad was actually in Soledad State Prison when I was young, which was a reason that other family had to take me home as well. And that it was family on his side. But he was in prison and was actually stabbed and killed. in a prison riot when I was about nine months old. So, you know, it's... Did you know your bio mom? No, I did not. Wow. It wasn't ever anything that was kept for me, but it was something...

And I think, honestly, as... Again, the healing that happened as I got older and became a mom... Yeah. And suddenly had this different understanding of what being a parent is and what being a mom is and a human being and experiencing all of those things. The amount of forgiveness that I had for my biological mom was huge and really, like, life-changing. You know, what we know about the prison system, which many of us have talked about for many, many years.

Or as I've been recently pointing out, the hippies we're talking about in the 60s, and everyone was like, you're crazy, you're on drugs. Well, guess what? Prison reforms have been around. Exactly. If you look at Victorian time, you know, you remember all that, you're like, it's so weird. but it's like the same things happening. Correct. But what we know, you know, about a huge percentage of people, you know,

who struggle with mental health challenges or who are often products of abuse, you know, who end up in a system that then places an extraordinary amount of psychological pressure. And in many cases, I'm just going to say it's torture. You take traumatized individuals. You put them in further traumatizing situations, and then you wonder why they traumatize people

when they get out in environments that are conducive to trauma. And then people, and then you throw more money at traumatizing them on the back end instead of preventing it from happening in the first place. But that's where we're at. But I do, no, I mean, I'm not dismissing it. No, no, it's something that I'm really passionate about.

No, and when I showed my kids the 13th, the Ava DuVernay documentary, and it was like, you know, first of all, it was shocking. I mean, I showed it in an age-appropriate fashion, But, you know, the notion, like, of educating kids and saying, like, this is not new. Like, this has been going on. And it's a, you know, a continuing. But I'm just, I'm sort of interested because as we think about sort of how we end up, you know, the way we end up and like the path that we take.

And obviously, it sounds like your parents did a really, a really one. I mean, I think you're amazing. Thank you. And I'm, my parents, my mom and dad, they took on something and a situation in a kid that needed it. Yeah. And my parents have been the most amazing mom. I mean, they have stood by me, you know, when I've really, really, really, really pushed them to the limit. Well, and I guess that was sort of my question because, you know, obviously we're a product of so many things.

But I do wonder, and I'm sure this is part of, you know, the work that you get to and that we all get to keep doing when we go to therapy. You know, do you think about sort of, you know, what we come from in terms of, you know, there's a lot that is nerd. There's a lot that is nature. You know, when people are like, oh, is this? And, you know, as a sciencey person, people ask me, like, well, is this, you know, is this, like, is this inherited? Is this, and I'm like, well, here's what's inherited. Coping mechanisms. The way people talk, the way people act.

And also, you do get, you know, a genetic look. Right. Exactly. So do you think about that? Absolutely. I mean, I'm sure when you were, I'm sure when you were a teen and when you were kind of like starting to struggle. We don't always make those connections.

Well, by the time I was 15, I knew that I, like, I drank differently. than other people. I knew I was already, I knew I had an issue with addiction. I just knew it made me feel different than other people. And I've always been pretty self-aware. You knew that you drank differently than other people. You knew that you came from kind of like a history of that. But also, that's not necessarily, and what people don't understand, this is not really, it's not a choice making process that we undergo. It's a very, especially when your brain is still developing. And, you know, right, right. So I was just kind of curious, I would imagine that at that young age, you may not have realized, like, I think I'm repeating patterns. that might have been, you know.

Well, and I look at it now, you know, and I see, I'm like, oh, you know, oh, some attachment issues, some, you know, things that I didn't realize I had until I was like, why is it that like, you know, my relationships are failures? Why is it that this is happening? You know, and I was as an adoptee and as someone who is now much more vocal about that experience, I think one of the things that happens with adopt. is that we discount ourselves and think, well, all that happened before I remember. Right.

You know what I mean? Like that was like the first year of my life. Like what the hell was it? You know what I mean? Like all the rest of it was fine. The body keeps score. The body keeps the score. Such a great book.

And I read that book and recommended to me by my wonderful husband who is a therapist and social worker. You know, I read that book and I was like, oh. Oh, I get it. Like so, again, those. What is it? Explain it to people who may not know, you know, what happens, let's say, in any one, not yours, but like in anyone's first year. Like, what does, what happens? Well, basically, I mean, I am in no way a scientist, nor did I write this book. But according to my layman's brain and its understanding, you know, in the first year of life, you are forming all those important connective responses. You know, it's the reason that Reese's monkeys will cuddle a furry thing that doesn't give them food and start. starve to death over something that feeds them but that is wired. They are hardwired to go for

something that comforts them even if it is actually detrimental to themselves. So I think, you know, in that first year of life, we are just looking to figure out how to survive really in the world. And so so many of the basic things we learn about how to survive of crying to get attention or, you know, that our needs will be met, that we are not alone, that we, you know, all those sorts of things. If there is a disruption in those, and sometimes there is for any period of time, the longer that happens, the less of those connections are made in the brain. And so then the brain starts figuring out how to find other ways to cope. And thank God the brain is something that is malleable and will change and rewire itself. But those things are still affected, right? So people

like me that maybe, you know, and I talk about the story, I was left alone for a certain amount of time as an infant and I got pneumonia and all sorts of things. Those are things I don't remember, but my body does. And so, you know, for me,

living a life long battle with anxiety and depression and all of those things, you know, I had to really stop and look at and reconsider the importance of those things and not use them as a, an excuse, but allow them to enter, right, to enter my brain as part of the information of,

oh, this is what's affecting me. And again, until I look at it, I can't do anything about it. So if I'm constantly going, well, that's stupid. There's no way that could be it. And how do I know unless I look at it? Right. You know, and so I've been looking at it and I'm like, I think there's a thing. It's more than the first year. They're showing that it's prenatal that the child is wired to the nervous system of the mother and that the state of the mother and the emotional state of the mother during the time of pregnancy is actually the first wiring.

Yeah. Well, Jonathan, I also wondered, since you were the one who recommended Peter Levine's book to me, which is literally behind me in an unspoken voice, over a decade ago. Oh, yes, that's also a book that's sitting on my office bookshelf. Yes. Jonathan, I wonder if you could speak a little bit

to kind of what Jody just alluded to, you know, like, I don't remember that, but my body does. Can you speak kind of from a somatic perspective about either your experience with that as a, you know, as a practitioner person or just as a person who's done that kind of bodywork? You articulated it perfectly. There's a whole set of influences that most people are not aware of that are shaping how they experience the present. And most of us are like, if I don't remember it, it doesn't exist.

but our precognition, our pre-memory, even in utero, we are discovering that our experiences, our connection to a caregiver, our mother's voice is the mother experiencing her own trauma while that then gets past, those hormones get past to the baby. And then everything, like even you could take it even further, that it's not only about the, um, free memory years. There's lots of stuff that happens to us now that we don't remember. I mean, absolutely. All kinds of trauma that doesn't, that I'm, you know, will happen and go, oh my God, you know, that's not always a fun experience when that comes back.

I don't want to get too deep into this because I do want to finish like. And were you finished Jonathan, by the way? I'm so sorry. It's okay. Keep going. Oh, see, I'm trying to get better at remembering. I am never going to hear the end of this. I'm sorry. Now I think you look at it. A little bit. It's okay. I'm going to go work this out in my third session. I'm just wondering. I need to speak to your husband. I have a couple of episodes coming up.

Would you like to just sit in and moderate for us? She's our guest co-host to keep... The only reason is because I've been trying to get better at doing it myself. She is a desirable co-host on many reputable talk shows because of she's good at this. Thank you. We've never had such a conscientious, attentive, aware. I am just living my best dependent life right now. Tell me more.

No, I was going to say, I don't want to get too deep because there's a couple more things I want to talk about that are specific to you. But when we talk about the things that we choose to remember and the things we choose to forget, as a female person, I know that I definitely have accused. And yes, this is a gendered statement. I'm just saying it. I've accused more men than women in my life of not remembering things that I cannot believe they don't remember. because they have real emotional significance to me. And I also know that there are things that, like, I don't remember that literally happened.

So there's this notion also, and it may be gendered, it may not be, might have been an unnecessary broach of topic, but the notion also of, like, memory is not so simple. It's not just like, I remember it because it happened. And then the things that happened that I don't remember, don't affect me. It's so much more complicated. Your memory is based on your perception.

You see the world how you've experienced the world. So a scenario that looks to you one way is going to look a completely different way to another person, which is white witness testimonies amassed and what and all those kinds of. Yes. What are each of your earliest memories? I remember preschool. Yeah, I remember like preschool things. I mean, a couple things.

I remember, oh, I can, I mean, I can smell the grape, the juice that was served at my preschool. Like smells, I mean, are obviously always very important. but like, oh, I can smell it even when it's not there. I have an early one, and it's not something that there's a photo of. I always check, because it was a really good point you made. Like, sometimes we remember things because people told us about them, or there's pictures or we're on television for a number of years. Right, right, right.

No, I have a memory of playing with, what's that like kind of goopy? It's not Play-Doh, but it's that goopy stuff that you play with in preschool that's made of like cornstarch and flour and water. Oh, uh, Geck. Gak? Gak. Gack? I love that Scott was like more certain than anything he's ever been certain of that that's Gack. Like basically it's like you touch it and it moves but then you put it down. I remember playing

with that. I don't really remember like anything else. And then I'm always like, it did something terrible happen after that. Like I don't know. Right. Just remember that. And I remember it was at a preschool. It was at a church. I didn't go to a church preschool, but we rented a space. Right. On Hollywood Boulevard east of LaBreya is where my mom said that that memory took place. So that's pretty early. Yeah, I just the other day had a flash of a memory from preschool of, and again, it started with a smell of like it was a classroom. And I think I walked into one of my kids' classrooms recently for like for a whatever open house. And it was like the smell of old desks and old books and whatever. And I was like, oh my God, I know the smell. Wow. And I instantly

flashed to me at a play kitchen, like in the back of this. preschool room or maybe yeah whatever it was i want to know if you had to name let's call it five things what are five things you would say you do to kind of keep your center um i meditate what kind of meditation uh whatever is on my phone app and i do like guided meditations guided meditations or sometimes just music at night thetaways whatever um hold on one second Theta waves or whatever. Yeah, what is that? Theta waves are just really good to help calm anxiety.

Is it like white noise? Similar, yeah. It's just, I don't know. It's a neutral sound. Exactly. It's a neutral sound. But I also like guided meditations. I listen to...

Oh, Jonathan just pulled him up. He apparently's been listening the whole time. I listen to the prophet by reading by Khalil Gibran. Whoa. As I fall asleep or the Velveteen rabbit a lot. Oh. I know. weird. No, lovely. And then...

Is it my favorite books as a kid? I didn't know that. I have a quote on my wall hanging about the Velvet Teen Rabbit about that become about becoming real and that you're, you know, once you're, your eyes have been loved off and your hair worn out and all this. It's one of my favorite. One of my favorite quotes about how becoming real doesn't always look pretty on the outside, but it's the best on the inside. Okay, so that's two things so far. Meditation. Meditation. Meditation, reading. Books, right, books that you listen to. Therapy, it feels like, is a big.

Reading therapy. Okay, and what kind of therapy do you do? Like psychotherapy. Like psychotherapy. Okay, great. Yeah, yeah. I've tried EMDR. My brain, it gets too distracted.

It was also hard because it was during COVID, so it was like trying to do it online. I just, it was hard. But therapy, reading. Do you, are you a medication person? I am a medication person. Would you consider that one of the things you do? Oh, my God. Oh, no.

So meditation. Yeah, I would put that probably in the time. top three that has been life-changing for me. Okay. And I'm a huge advocate for getting medication if you need it and letting go of that judgment. And then... Maybe there's only four, whatever you want. Oh, God.

And then I'm like, well, no, there's more than five. I'm like, well, no, my family and my dog. I mean, my dog's a big one. Okay. I have a dog. I mean, my dog is like, I love my dog. And she is big and fluffy. What does she give you?

Because what's the thing? She gives me absolutely she needs nothing from me, although she is a needy creature. She doesn't ask anything of me. I don't have to explain myself. I don't have to tell her what's going on in my head when it's going so fast. I can't put it into words. I can just lay on top of the dog and pet her big fluffy neck. Nice.

It's comfort. Very much so. It's unconditional. unjudgmental comfort that is in a way sort of selfish because it doesn't work. It's all really self-serving. You're like, getting the dog. But you have to,

you have to like feed the dog and walk the dog. Oh my God. No, the dog is, the dog is spoiled. I mean, I got it. No, look, the dog. What's her name? Her name is Issa.

Ooh, pretty. She's a, she's a, um, shepherd, German Shepherd Husky, Chow Chow Chow Chow Mix. Oh, wow. Yeah. If I really think about the things that I do 100% solely for myself, I would say those are the things. Like I just unapologetically, like those five things.

I love that. I have one more question before we let you go. I'm wondering if there have been times when you just kind of wanted to run away. Like, just like... 10 a.m. today? No, but like I'm thinking, especially to kind of like the harder times, you know? And like, you know, even when my kids were like little, you know, when it just felt like, Like, just everything felt like really unmanageable.

And I, you know, I know you've had, you've had, as you mentioned, you've had relationships. You're currently in what we hope is a happy and beautiful and really healthy, lovely. Yes, we got married in July. It's amazing. Yeah, you're a newlywed. I am. He's amazing. But, but, you know, kind of like all of that stuff aside, like, when things were harder, like,

did you ever have that feeling of just like, I wish I could just, like, turn it all off and just, like, start a new anonymous life elsewhere? I, no joke. Probably feel that currently at least once a month. What is it? And not because I am ungrateful for my life and not because I don't love what I do or my kids or any of that. But I oftentimes my anxiety, my anxiety and depression will get so bad that that, And this is, I'm being very honest about this. My anxiety and depression will get so bad and it happens definitely, at least once to twice a month, that I just, I want a tiny home in the middle of nowhere.

I want no electronics. I want to read books and take walks with my dog and do jigsaw puzzles and write in a journal and like watch whatever the hell I want to watch. And like, that's it. And I don't, and listen to music. and that's I want no outside external noise because it's overwhelming sometimes. I think I feel that way more now than I probably did when I was young and things were uncomfortable. I think because now I'm asking myself to, in response to feeling that way, what do I do?

I was going to say, what takes that place? When you're young and you're like, oh, whatever, I just feel that I have, you know, you're just kind of messy and all. over the list. Now I'm like, I feel it and I go, oh, this requires me to reprioritize some things or maybe my boundaries aren't strong enough. Maybe I need to say no to some things or maybe I need to put certain things down and do, you know, and I'm one of these days I may just do it and run away to my tiny hum. If I didn't do it during COVID, which was a really, really hard time for me. I had a real mental breakdown during COVID, lost 37 pounds, like, just really struggled. I don't do well under stress and worry.

And now when I have those thoughts of running away, it makes me question how I can listen to myself to hold better boundaries for myself and do a little better self-care. You know? And it's oftentimes, I guess, to revisit, you know, that list, you know, that we talked about. There's so many things I didn't get to. You have so many other credits and I don't know, maybe you'd come back and play some more another time. Absolutely. Because also, like, you have so many fun things that you do.

And, you know, you've branched into producing and just like so many, so many cool things that I didn't really get to, to, talk to you about, but I do want to say that you do, you have a podcast, correct? I do. I have a podcast. And I wanted to give that a special shout out. Yes, I never thought I'd say this, which is, you're in your fifth season? We finished our fifth season. We are coming back for a six that I think is going to look a little bit different. And I'm also branching out into potentially another podcast. Oh, wow. Or of a comedy related one. Because you also do comedy, which is like its own thing I'm terrified of doing. I do, yeah. I just did a show at the comedy store this weekend. Oh my gosh. It wasn't pure stand-up. It was me and three other stand-ups and like a panel show.

That's amazing. Wow, that's really awesome. I'd love to also come see you because sometimes I leave this room. Yeah. But anyway. Sometimes I do too. But yes. No, but we're just, we're so grateful to have you on and we will tell everybody many more good things. Jonathan, anything else you want to say before we let this lady go? I'm just ready to post my Velveteen rabbit quote on Instagram. I have it here. Yeah. Oh, will you read it? Will you read it? It's one of my favorites, and I'd love for people to listen to it.

Generally, by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes dropped out, and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't really matter at all, because once you are real, you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand the velveteen rabbit. So after the velveteen rabbit made me cry. You're welcome. I hug Jody goodbye and we kind of did that off camera because I wanted some time to kind of unpack with you. So really, really interesting conversation that we just had. I don't think I've ever really considered the way she kind of presented that pressure element. I'm always so quick to say like, don't look at child stars. I need different than other people because it's true. Drug addiction, alcoholism, all those things happen to everybody. But the uniqueness of that kind of pressure. It was really interesting to me. I don't know if you resonated. You know, you also come from a family with a lot of pressure and you weren't in the public eye. No, but we've talked about the industry and how it breeds an intensity for not having needs. It was covered in the Raymond Simone episode. And it was talked about a bit in the Will Wheaton episode, in the Jeanette McCurdy episode also. And there's this running theme of how that environment is a mirror to what we all grew up with or many of us grow up with where,

having no needs is the safest choice. And then what do we give up? What parts of ourselves do we start to get disconnected from? You call me out on this sometimes. You know, I grew up in the aftermath of my brother's accident. And my sister before that was extremely sick and had undiagnosed fibromyalgia and had a back surgery when she was 11 and had all these mysterious conditions. So as the kid who had, you know,

quote unquote, nothing wrong with him, you didn't want to make a fuss. But then there was almost a joke in my family that like the kids took turns hurting themselves or being hurt. Like my brother broke his leg. Okay. So now the family is focused on him. And in the absence of being able to have, I don't mean to simplify it like this because it's much more complicated. But in the absence of sort of having space for emotions, well, if you're physically hurt, then you're able to get attention or you're able to have a need because then there's something actually wrong with you. Well, not surprisingly, we just went from me asking how you felt about the episode and sort of my reflections on the industry. It went straight. No, no, no. But I think it's interesting.

It went, it went. It got even more specific. I was hoping that you would kind of pull something general out of it. Like, oh, all families have pressure. But I think that's really interesting that you used a very specific example in your case because I think that's sort of, that's what I'm, I guess, alluding to, you know, there's all these other elements that we don't realize kind of make us, you know, who we are. And there's also this notion of like, is there enough attention to go around? And I think when you're working on a set, you know, that's one example of like, well, there's clearly, there's a lot of attention, but not necessarily for the things that I need, right? So how can I be of service? How can I help other people? But

And also, you know, for you as a kid, when there's all of that attention not going to you, of course there's a tendency to not want to make trouble, but there's still a deep need to be seen. And, you know, you did a lot of covert operations, I think, you know, you did a lot of things privately. You had a lot of sort of things that you shoved away, you know, it's almost like, look, I hurt too, but no one can know. Does that, I mean, does that sound kind of right? Yeah, absolutely. That need doesn't go away, even if there isn't an outlet that it can be received. So then we start to find ways to express it in other areas. And I think the extrapolation is that very few families, well, maybe that's an over an exaggeration, but I don't know that many families that had a rich dialogue where the child's internal world got to get explored and mirrored and seen and held. and expressed and, you know, there was a lot of space for processing and teaching emotional vocabulary and the fact that sometimes your body hurts and that can be stress induced. And like, that didn't happen where I grew up. I mean, I'm sure there are places where that did. And I know

people who had maybe parents who had done that type of work, but our parents, you know, grew up at a different generation. They did the best they could. They tried and provided, provided for us. and we also, as you begin to have a child and begin to parent, you learn, oh, wait a second, there are all these things that we either don't know how to do. And I say this often is like, you learn more about how you were raised by how you react to your child in pain. It's true. So the choices are, how could you do this to me?

Right? How could you do this? Or how can I help? What's wrong with you? Be quiet. Stop what you're doing. or like the level of like internal angst that happens when the child is unconsolable. Or blaming yourself, right?

Like how could I not control this? It's so, I mean, you're so powerless. I remember the first. Or what are other people going to think depending on where you are? Right. That whole range of thinking shows you so much about what was prioritized in your home when you freaked out. I don't even know if if my ex-husband and I like even knew what the word blame was until we had children. And then all of a sudden it just became a contest of who can blame the other.

Like, I would find ways to be like, you're breathing in the living room, woke him for the sixth time. It's like, that's not even true. But you find ways like, well, if you hadn't eaten beans at 4 a.m. yesterday, he wouldn't have, you know, poop now. Like, it was, it just becomes this gigantic blame game. And it's like, that tells me. Or if a child hurts themselves. or like falls off a jungle gym. Miles has a scar. He literally to this day, 17, he has a scar across his nose

because Mike literally like accidentally scratched it. Like he was like picking him up and it was just like, it was this day that like whatever, you know, sometimes you forget to trim your nails if you're not a nail biter like me. He shouldn't have been a nail biter like me and then he wouldn't have scratched our child. And he literally has a scar to this day.

Mike's fault. I have a question for you. That's going to circle back to something you said previously. You talked about the amount of people watching you on set, not just like your performance, but like monitoring you and like, what are she doing? Oh,

you have to go to the bathroom. Let me take you there. Let me wait outside. Let me make sure you come back. Do not ask what I think you're going to ask. Do not go there. Stop it. What do you think I'm going to ask?

Stop it. What do you think I'm going to ask? What do you think? Stop it. You're going to ask if that's why I always want you around watching. me do things. I was going to ask. No, I was going to ask, what do you think it brings up for you in the absence of that?

That's asking why I want you around all the time watching me do things. That's why you wanted me to watch you type your script. Shut up. Even though I wasn't helping anymore and you didn't want me searching the internet because you were like, oh, if he just like, you wanted that. Jonathan, what's your favorite thing for me to do with you? I don't know what. Go to the supermarket with you.

That's just a good activity. But we have the same disease. You spot it, you got it. That's what it's called. You spot it, you got it. And no, that's not why I wanted you to pay attention when I was writing. I wanted you to pay attention because we were in the middle of a writing session and I wanted to have at least a glimmer of hope that we might be able to finish something

without you doing seven other things while also making a list of sporting activities you need to purchase supplies for for next summer. From our breakdown to the one we hope you never have, this has been a lot of fun. We'll see you next time. It's My Ambialyx Breakdown. She's going to break it down for you. She's got a neuroscience Ph.D. or two.

One fix she was. And now she's going to break down. It's a breakdown.