Mayim Bialik's Breakdown - Stop Ignoring What Your Body is Telling You

Episode Date: May 4, 2023

Are you ignoring your true desires, and is your body paying the price? Mayim and Jonathan break down how stress can cause frequent infections, what our bodies are trying to tell us with physical pain & muscle aches, and the potential sinister origins of having low energy. They explain the importance of feeling excited in day-to-day life, how not living the life you want can lead to depression and anxiety, and the underlying psychological conditions that can lead to disordered eating. They also discuss the science behind the effects of sugar, why troubled work and personal relationships may indicate dissatisfaction with one’s quality of life, and the negative effects of not presenting your authentic self to the world.  Psychology Today article, "8 Subtle Clues You Are Ignoring Your True Desires": https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/heal-the-mind-heal-the-body/202211/8-subtle-clues-you-are-ignoring-your-true-desires BialikBreakdown.com YouTube.com/mayimbialik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We had a hostess cupcake situation. It was a vegan, I think, gluten-free, hostess cupcake. I'm like, there's nothing natural. He's like, that's disgusting, Mayam. You're a, what do you say? You're not a garbage can, myam. And I'm like, in the kitchen, like, I'm going to eat it anyway. And I was, okay, let me repaint this scene just a little bit.

We're in the kitchen. Yeah. It's probably an 8 o'clock at night situation. Yeah. You proudly take out this. container of vegan hostess. It's an amazing thing that exists. You're like wanting me so badly to indulge in this with you.

Yeah, like a normal person. And I just stare at you. I say nothing. You're so mean. I just have this blank and you're like, and then you have all the room in the world for all of yourself criticism. I don't even think I said anything. What happened then? You were just like, oh, I'm horrible.

And I'm like, I just shake my head. I never say I'm horrible. Go ahead. Then what happened? And then you're like, you're judging me. Then what? And you think better. And I'm like, and then you start pressuring me. You're like, why won't you have any? And I, realistically...

Should have said, why am I have a problem? I should have. You should have. I should have said that. But we didn't know each other long enough. We'd only know each other 11 years. It wasn't long enough. And so what I say to you is, why am I going to indulge in something that is not food?

That is pure artificial chemical. and sweeteners that's going to spike my blood sugar. It's hard to hear you from that horse. It's so high. Make me feel horrible afterwards. And then I got closer and closer to you. And what happened? And then he ate it and he was like, oh, my God.

And Bei Alex Breakdown, she's going to break it down for you. Because you know she knows a thing or two. So now she's going to break down. It's a breakdown. My NB. Alex Breakdown is supported by Rabbit Air. Every day we breathe in nearly 2,000. gallons of air. And you know what? I'm allergic to most of what's in that air. That's just the truth. I'm that person who, without a rabbit air, I sneeze, I'm gross, I'm all puffy and swollen. My face looks disgusting. I love my rabbit air. And my favorite thing about this model that I have here is that it's literally a work of art. And you can mount it or you can have it not mounted. I'm choosing to mount it, but right now it's right next to me so that I can read this. Decades of research have shown that air pollutants increase. the amount in seriousness of lung and heart disease and other health problems,

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There can never be enough. We have so many things to talk about that we had to just like leap into a new day. Here's what we're leaving into today. Jonathan, I think I'm ignoring my true desires. And I'd like you to help me with that. That sounds about right. How do you know you're ignoring your true desires? I got eight ways.

I'm going to tell you eight things about me. And psychology today agrees with me. These are eight things that, I mean, I'm willing to admit I've kind of experienced all of them. But I don't know so much, I don't know if it's so much that they are preventing you from, you know, seizing the day and you knowing your true desire. But these are eight things that many people would not connect to mental health and mental wellness. and I'd like to go through them. And since you've been so helpful in helping me with many of these things, I'd like you to put on your doctor hat.

I always have it on. Dr. J.C. Jonathan, sometimes people get frequent infections. Number one, frequent infections. Oof, it's an imbalance in the immune system. Okay, so Jonathan, without even knowing kind of like, it doesn't matter what kind of infection I'm getting? No.

Okay. So if I say to you, oh, I just, I'm always getting colds. I'm always getting the flu. When grown adults get ear infections, I'm always like, interesting. What's going on? Because you think of it as like a kid thing. I don't know that I've ever gotten an ear infection. A lot of people get bronchitis or like their body goes straight to bronchitis.

And these things often happen in the presence of normal blood tests, meaning you keep getting sick, you keep getting sick. And you can't figure out what's going on. and you're like, maybe I have, you know, a mono, or I have, you know, some dormant something. This is in the presence of normal blood tests. Go. Someone else I know, they were like, oh, yeah, I went to the doctor. They're like, this cough you have should be take its course in like six to eight weeks.

You're like, what? Well, the body's a mysterious thing. But, Jonathan, tell us what's happening. Are we going Louise Hay here? Is that what we're pulling out? No, it could be whatever you want. Tell us what's happening. What's the first thing you think of when I say,

frequent infections. This information I'm sharing is not a representation of any company or entity. It's solely my personal opinion based on my experience. Go ahead. So we talk about the immune system. And who talked about this effectively on the podcast? It was covered a few times that the immune system and the digestive system and the emotional system are all actually one system. So if you feel a high level of stress.

over a long period of time, and you're constantly in that fight or flight zone. And your body is working really hard to just get through the day and deal with the natural environment. And over and above that, you're then experiencing high levels of stress or fear or anxiety. And take away the word anxiety from a clinical sense just to be like having conflicts and navigating uncertainty, then your immune system is actually. compromised and has a much harder time protecting yourself against basic things. Against basic things. That normally wouldn't wipe you out. So you could say, well, what's going on in your digestive system, but also what's going on with your emotional regulation as a reflection of everything else.

And a lot of times, you know, we're given all these like immune boosting herbs and like this and take. And it's not that those don't help, but in the absence of other support, your immune system in many cases is still going to be struggling. And it's especially true. And, you know, I hope no friends of mine that are listening are like, she's a witch. You know, sometimes I'll meet people. And a toddler, once you send your kid to daycare, I'm sorry, it's just going to get sick all the time. And just is like, whatever, we're all humans.

And we're not talking about that. We're not talking about sort of that range. But when I hear from people whose kids are like chronically sick and they're just like, oh, rough season. I'm like, maybe you should look into it. And I'm not saying that that child is experiencing abuse or trauma, but even basic immune stuff. Like, at that point, I'm. I might think, wonder if there's anything about my kids' diet.

You know what I mean? Or if there's anything about the, even, I mean, even getting like a solid air purifier shifted my children's, like, respiratory existence. So, like, even simple things, and I'm not saying, like, buy a thousand dollar air purifier. That'll solve it. But to me, that's not our normal state. It's chronically sick. It's not.

That was number one. Being chronically sick is not our normal state. think about the emotional, digestive, and psychological system as one. Yes. Moving on. Number two. Oh, muscle spasms, aches and pains. This is aches and pains repetitively without having exerted yourself and with no obvious, like, clinical explanation.

What do you think? I mean, nothing good. I mean, we spend a lot of money with MRI scans. and this, that, and what's wrong, and why is there nothing wrong? And it's almost like a relief when you get a skin. You're like, oh, well, that disc is, it's starting to herniate. And I don't have enough cushioning. And so I guess there's something wrong with my back. And now I need to take a lot of heavy medication and possibly painkiller. Like, that's like the road you go down. And what Dr. Sarno and kind of that kind of revolutionary, you know, way of thinking, which is much more Eastern, you know,

in philosophy is like, if you're hurting, if your body is hurting in the absence of, again, exertion or a specific injury. Yeah, your body's making noise. It's talking to you. Or in the absence of chronic imbalance. Like, you know, you can use your body wrong for a lot of years. Totally. No, but that's an obvious physiological thing.

Like, your hip, right? There was no cartilage. That's different. No, yes. Yes, everything you're saying. And sometimes we're just like, I have, for example, and it's likely the result of my hip, a propensity to sit in chairs leaning to the left. And so...

Yeah, your body's been compensating. Exactly. So I lean to the right. Or there's mechanics. People don't have equilibrium in their mechanics, biomechanics. So, yes, you need to fix some of that, and some of that can be, okay, I'm just sort of not having the proper ergonomics or I sit at my desk all day. And I don't know that that's exertion.

We're always compensating, you know. However, just like the emotional system, the digestive system, the psychological system, if these are out of whack and we are constantly under a baseline of stress. Correct. And we're not doing anything to regulate it. And we're not coming back to what we spoke about in the Max Greenfield episode at the end about a home base, an area where we feel a sense of safety, containment, comfort. Some people, for them, that's like getting under the covers and they have a safe spot. Some people, it's the little meditation cushion. Some people, it's the corner of the couch and just looking out onto the street or some version of, I, for a moment, can come back to a place where

I can lower my baseline of stress and for just a moment, everything is going to be okay, even in the chaos, even in the center of the storm. Without being able to have an experience of that, it can result in all these other physiological effects like muscle soreness, fatigue, aches, pains. Also, some of that may be dietary. Like, you know, we don't get enough magnesium. We often have a variety of different micronutrients that we're not getting. We could be eating things that are not agreeing with us. So it's, yeah,

most people don't even want to think about those things. It's like, when I saw you with the magnesium, I'm like, what is he doing with all the, what is, what is, it's like,

I know what it is. It's in the periodic table, but it wasn't until Chinese medicine doctors started like, leaning on me very heavy about like, well, you need to have magnesium.

You need to take it right before, what? And like, when my back is having problems, she's like, well, what do you think up some salt is, it's actually magnesium

and you need to soak in it because there is a process of like ionic transfer. Like, it's a thing. We do not dispense medical advice. We are not your doctors, nor are why a doctor at all. But there is a lot of information.

I listen to Huberman, Andrew Huberman, quite a bit. Okay, so frequent infections, muscles, spasms, aches, and pains. Here's an interesting one, and this is kind of related to your true desire. Low energy. So feeling tired, like feeling tired all the time. And let's say, like, we don't mean like, oh, you're not getting enough sleep. Like, of course, that's going to make you tired. but we're talking about low energy as a possible extension of there's a tremendous amount of energy

that you're expending that may not be well used. So the idea being, I'm just going to make this up. Let's say you have a job that you hate. And I don't just mean like, oh, I hate my job. Let's say you have a job that is like not meeting your needs. Like, for reals. Like, you don't feel like you're heard, authentic scene. You don't feel like it's, you know, adding to what you as a kid or a teenager or someone in your 20s thought that you wanted to contribute to the world, what that can look like is the amount of energy to show up, to put on a happy face, to deal with, in many cases, toxic or abusive environments in many workplaces, that can tap your energy.

So a lot of times, again, if we're not ready to admit that, we'll be just like, oh, I'm so tired all the time. I'm just like, don't want to go to work. And, you know, it's not just laziness. It could be actually that your energy is tapped. Getting back to the title of this article, True Desire, what we're really talking about is, are you being energized by the activities in your life? And true desire is not like, my true desire is to like go skydiving every day. Right. That's not my business. And like,

think of other desires. But is there, are there things in your life that you feel excited by and energized by my brother, who we were talking to recently? He said he wakes up every morning with a smile on his face. And for him, it's like he's just there. Whatever the day, day is, is he has a magical excitement that the day just exists. And first, not everyone can have that access, meaning that it's a little harder to feel that optimistic, especially with all the responsibilities people have. But what in your day are you looking forward to? What in your week are you looking forward to? Or even in your month, and if you don't have anything specific that is feeding you and energizing you. You deserve to have that. And the result may be that you're

feeling overly tired and trained. This dovetails into point number four, depression and anxiety. You know, many people have symptoms of clinical depression, clinical anxiety or generalized anxiety disorder. But we don't always relate that to, gosh, am I living the life that I actually want to live? I mean, of course, you know, as someone who has lived through with on top of clinical depression, it's not always related. And I think that's something that's important. You know, when we talk about depression, depression exists no matter what your life circumstances are. And that's when we say like, oh, it's not just like you're sad that your dad died or you're sad that, you know, you got divorced.

Like those are things that can lead to depression, you know. When we're talking about clinical depression, it's often has, you could be living your best life. But if you're feeling these kinds of symptoms and you're not able to sort of trust. where that kind of source is, that could be one of the things going on, is not living the life that you want. And in the Knoll episode, he talked about how his anxiety and panic attacks actually happened when his life was going the best. And so it isn't necessarily the external factors that you can control.

And so it's not that, oh, my life should be some other way if you have anxiety and depression. However, it could be that there's something. else that needs to be looked at needs to be addressed in order to alleviate some of these symptoms. MyNBialx breakdown is supported by Superpower. We all know the feeling of leaving a doctor's office and kind of feeling like we didn't get anything out of the experience that was useful. Maybe they're like, you're fine.

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which is much more affordable than anything. anything else out there. Make this the year you stop guessing about your health with superpower. Superpower. Not only did Superpower reduce their price to just $199, but for a limited time, our listeners get an additional $20 off with the code break. Head to superpower.com. Use the code break at checkout for $20 off your membership. And after you sign up, they'll ask how you heard about them. Make sure to mention my ambiotic breakdown to help support the show. Let's talk about binge eating or about disordered eating. And I'm not looking to diagnose everyone with an eating disorder.

That is not my interest. A lot of people can make corrections to their eating. It's a lot of gray zone in this. There's a lot of gray zone. So here's one. Eating until you feel so full that you don't feel well. If you're doing that regularly, there's something going on. Eating too frequently, Jonathan, what does that mean?

I'm not sure. What does that mean, my? Sometimes I'll see you going to eat something just when you have a feeling that you don't want. You say, are you hungry or is your mouth? board. That's right. Is your stomach lonely? There's a comedian who has a bit he's like, I don't eat when I feel full, I eat when I start to, what is it?

The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate myself. Also, if you're feeling a need like I do to eat sweet things all the time, Jonathan, what's going, because you have noticed, you literally saw me eat a handful of thin mince and then top it off with lime aid straight from the container.

One of my favorite. First of all, you were hiding it. It's not hiding. We're at your house. My sponsor might hear this. I was not hiding. You're with your kids. You go into the fridge.

No, you open the freezer, actually, where you're hiding them. And I'm like, oh, there's chocolate in the house. I want some of that. And you take your hand and you just shove like four of these into your mouth. I do not eat more than one at a time. All I know is there was a hand quickly in the freezer and then boom, right into the mouth. What did you want me to plate it on a platter from Poland that my grandmother brought? You then hit from me as you chewed, then went to the fridge straight from the bottle.

Favorite combination, chocolate and lemonade. Yeah. Favorite comment. So what is it? What is it? I mean, I don't know if you're just like needing to like get away with something. No, no, I'm talking about the, you're hiding. What's the, what are the quality of what I'm eating, I never would have thought.

Like, I have a sugar problem. Like, that's just, I want chocolate. lemonade. You just want your insulin to go whoop. So what? Tell me, Dr. Cohen. What is it? I mean, you're looking for the rush. The insulin push to the system, number one, increases, I actually don't know how to describe it. But it's not conscious. I'm not like, oh, I'm feeling down. I need to do this. Oh, yeah, but it's a rush. It's a spike. You get this boost. I'm used to it. And the sugar hits you. And then you get a drop afterwards, which most people don't realize how badly we feel. It's just me yell. You mean, that's when I yell. I

yell at my children is probably after that wears off. I mean, sugar is a drug. I have a problem. No more so than you had before the episode. Okay. Well, let's see what psychology today says. They make you feel better for a short time while numbing you.

Yeah, sugars is a pain killer. I mean, I'm being totally honest. I never thought of like, I have a shirt. Like, I know that I love, like, I like sweet things, but I don't like candy. So I always had this, like, I was arrogant. I don't like candy. You know, like I don't like jelly beans or anything like that.

But like give me a thin mint and some lemonade. And that's like my favorite snack. I mean, I had such a problem with sugar that I had to avoid it. Tell us more about that. I absolutely love sugar. I love sugar to the point where I don't have it for the most part. Although you just bought chocolate macaroons, which are delicious. You asked me for those.

You specifically said. We got these one type of chocolate macaroons that, were like from a bakery. I can't have them because they're made with egg. I can't eat them. So delicious. But I mean, they should sponsor our podcast. I have to control myself. I have one of them and the first thing I want is another one. Like one is never enough. People feel that way about alcohol. I mean, people who are alcohol, that's what they say. That like that's what it feels like. I can't imagine it because to me like I don't enjoy alcohol enough, meaning like the taste. But like sugar, it's very clear to me. Like that's

delicious. I will eat sugar until I get sores in my mouth. Also, you're, you like to be disdainful of people who like sugar.

Do you remember the, do you remember the, we had a hostess cupcake situation? It was a vegan, I think gluten-free, hostess cupcake, and he was like, there's nothing natural.

He's like, that's disgusting, myam. You're a, what do you say? You're not a garbage can, myam. And I'm like, in the kitchen,

like, eat it anyway. And I was, okay, let me repaint this scene just a little bit. We're in the kitchen. Yeah. It's probably an 8 o'clock at night situation.

Yeah. You proudly take out this container of vegan hostess. It's an amazing thing that exists. You're like wanting me so badly to indulge in this with you. Yeah, like a normal person.

And I just stare at you. I say nothing. Oh, you're so mean. I just have this blank. and you're like, and then you have all the room in the world for all of yourself criticism. I don't even think I said anything. What happened then?

You were just like, oh, I'm horrible, and I'm like, I just shake my head. I never say I'm horrible. Go ahead. Then what happened? And then you're like, you're judging me. Then what? And I'm like, and then you start pressuring me.

You're like, why won't you have any? And I realistically, should have said, Maya, I have a problem. I should have. I should have. But we didn't know each other long enough. We'd only know each other 11 years. It wasn't long enough.

And so what I say to you is, why am I going to indulge in something that is not food that is pure artificial chemicals and sweeteners that's going to spike my blood sugar? It's hard to hear you from that horse. It's so high. Make me feel horrible afterwards. And then I got closer and closer to you. And what happened? And then he ate it and he was like, oh, my God. I mean, I have to remind myself.

But I think that's also interesting. Part of your defense about it is really needing to like when I took the boys for ice cream the other night, which I thought was a totally reasonable thing to do. Like you wouldn't even come in. You were just like the disdain that we were. I have nothing against other people enjoying themselves. That's not true. You hate what other people enjoy themselves.

For me personally, I have to remind myself that 90% of my eating should be for nutritional value. And if there are ingredients that are not things that grow on plants or in the ground, I should not eat it. All right. Well, that is number five, binge eating and or drinking. Jonathan, not listening to your gut feelings. Sometimes your gut feelings will tell you that you're doing something wrong. Stomach uneasiness and tension. I mean, that's huge. How many people have a queasy stomach? An uneasy stomach. And in many cases, it's because you ate dairy and you shouldn't. whatever. Don't eat dairy for me. But if you are having those feelings, I mean, my, my kid, I have, I have one of, one of my kids has a very sensitive tummy. And when he's upset,

it goes right to his stomach. When he would have dental work, is the kid just like, you know, his routine, every single time, it would go to his stomach. And it's like, it's a, it's a red flag. An upset stomach is a red flag. There's a reason it's called a gut feeling. Number seven, problems at work and with your relationships. Jonathan, how do you think that might be an indication you're not living your true desire? Well, this is a complicated one because you can have problems at work and in relationships that need to be worked through and you have life lessons. But what if you're constantly blaming other people? You're probably have some issues of your own that you're not looking at.

But this is what I'm saying. You might be in a situation that you need to get out of, whether it be the relationship or the work environment. or you might be in a situation where you're being forced to work on whatever issue you have. True. And find ways to navigate, bridge understanding, create better communication. And that process can be stressful. Absolutely. This is an interesting thing that the article says, you know, sometimes you blame others for problems.

Or, on the other hand, you rely too much on other people so that you can feel loved and validated. In many cases, a person will change jobs, get out of a relationship, or even move. you know, pull it geographic, as we say, thinking that the external factors are what's going on. Like, oh, I didn't like my job. When the fact is, if you're unhappy, you're likely not going to like your job anywhere. If you're unhappy, you're going to just destroy every relationship you touch. Let's move on to number eight. Feeling empty or inauthentic.

Hmm. We talk a lot about authenticity. We talk a lot around authenticity. A lot of people talk to me about, how is it that I feel so comfortable, like expressing my authentic self, you know. I can't say that because I'm living my authentic life that, you know, I'm in touch with my true desire. But if my true desire, you know, if I think about like what my higher power would want for me or what's my true desire, it would be to present myself both to myself and to the world as the most authentic representation of myself that I can. That means no lying to yourself

and no lying to others. And that representation is often a work in progress. We know, only what we know about ourselves and we're constantly learning and evolving and who we are continues to change. So the work is to keep showing up and updating it. A lot of times we find ourselves being the person that other people want us to be. Many people do this in relationships. I would argue historically a lot of women do this in relationships. And I think honestly that was sort of just the terms of engagement, especially for women, I think for most of human history, especially before love matches were a thing. Being the person your parents want you to be,

I've been thinking about this a lot because I have a 17-year-old who's starting to think about college, and it is so clear what I want for him, meaning fill in the blank, whatever you want for your kid. And I see how tempting it is to be like, well, if you want to make me happy, like, do this thing.

Or like... If you want your life to turn out right? Right. Or like, okay, fine, do whatever you want. Okay, fine. Don't do that, right? And like, that is such a strong message to kids. And a lot of it just happens when you're a parent.

Like, it's bound to happen. But so much of this really, like, hit home for me that, like, you don't want a kid to feel like they can't just be themselves or do what they want, right? There is something about when you follow what your internal desire is and that the child is navigating based on their own compass, they have a higher understanding, even if it's not like a conscious understanding, you know, the future is going to look different than the way it looked for us. So we're making decisions based on a retrospective view of how our life would have turned out. But like... It's called projecting, though. Big time. It's really dangerous. Because

like, when I look at certain places, I'm like, oh my God, I wish I could go there. But also what I'm thinking and like, Miles doesn't listen. So, but sometimes I think like, I wish I could have the opportunities that he has in his life right now and go there, meaning like, he can go and not be famous. Like, I couldn't go to college without that being like, oh, this is going to be my life. So, like, and I don't think it's true just if you're famous, I'm saying, we all can look at our kids and be like, gosh, I mean, what I mean is like, I look at, I look at, you look at your kid, right? And that's like, oh, he's so much more confident than I was. He's so much more charismatic. Like, I wish I could have college like that. I wish I could do it like that. So go here,

because that's where I would want to go if I had your confidence, right? But that's, That's not him living his authentic self, and then he's going to have aches and pains, and we're going to wonder why. He has to have the life path that he's going to have, and we don't know where he's going to turn out. That's what I think about you. I think about that about you. You know where we turned up? Where? On a Thursday.

Happy Thursday, everybody. Do you want to sign us out? No. From our Thursday breakdown to the one we hope you never have. We'll see you next Thursday. It's my and biologics breakdown. She's going to break it down for you. She's got a neuroscience week.

HD or two One fiction, and now she's gonna break.