Mean Boys - BONUS #7 - The Good, The Rad & The Mean (Live feat. The Goods From The Woods & This Is Rad!)

Episode Date: September 12, 2017

Support the show on Patreon: www.patreon.com/meanboys We play The Good, The Rad & The Mean crossover live show in its entirety. Check out the whole show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOiyv1O_Pmj6tCiw-_YymKKX_yVBrE85d Come to the live Mean Boys 9/19 at Harvelle's in Long Beach: longbeach.harvelles.com/event.cfm?cart&id=265462 Buy the Comfort Ninja Inflatable Lounge Chair here: www.amazon.com/dp/B073Y4V36F Contribute to the Mean Boys wiki: mean-boys.wikia.com/wiki/Mean_Boys_Wiki Send us an email at [e-mail] or leave us a voicemail at [phone] We are proudly sponsored by Don Carlo's Taco Shop in La Jolla California (www.eataburrito.com) Listen to The Goods From The Woods: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-goods-from-the-woods/id703046562?mt=2 Listen to This Is Rad!: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-is-rad/id900721560?mt=2 Follow The Goods From The Woods: http://twitter.com/thegoodspod Follow This Is Rad!: http://twitter.com/thisisradpod Follow the show on Twitter: twitter.com/meanboyspodcast Follow Keith on Twitter: twitter.com/keithtellsjokes Follow Connor on Twitter: twitter.com/connormcspadden Follow Tom on Twitter: twitter.com/gossgoss6 Visit us on the web: www.meanboyspodcast.com Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/meanboyspodcast Follow us on Instagram: instagram.com/meanboyspodcast Follow us on Soundcloud: @meanboyspodcast Theme: I’ve Seen Footage by Death Grips (itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-mon…tore/id515449028) Buy Keith’s album (itunes.apple.com/us/album/forever-nap/id1105182043) Podcast logo by Luis Galvez: twitter.com/luiagal Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey everybody, it's Keith and Connor from the Mean Boys Podcast. What's up guys? Got a very special bonus episode for you today. Bonus action. First of all, thank you to everybody who listened to our 9-11 spectacular with Steve Ranzisi. Yeah. And this is the audio from The Good, The Rad, and The Mean, the crossover show we did with The Goods from the Woods Podcast. And this is rad. Even better, not only do we raise some money for the Southern Poverty Law Center, I'm not getting in the way the entire show. I wasn't present for this event.

Yeah, Connor unfortunately was not able to make it, which we beat the shit out of him for for a little bit up top. Yeah, good stuff. So this show is a little different than your standard Mean Boys. We do some of our familiar segments in the show. We also do some weird bullshit from those other shows. It's pretty fun. Some of it is kind of visual.

There's going to be videos up. We'll link to those in the show notes. Yeah, yeah. Those will all be split between the Mean Boys YouTube and the This Is Rad YouTube. We'll put together a nice, sexy playlist where you can watch the whole thing. Yeah, and I really want to – this show went really well. Thank you to everybody who came. I really want to especially say thank you to Kyle Clark and Natalie Hayes and guests of Mean Boys for pretty much wrangling this whole thing because we all had this goofy idea.

And then basically Natalie did everything. Yeah. Well, Kyle too. Kyle was a dead man By the time we ran the show He was just like I did so much And he was so mad that you put so many slides in that Nazi game Oh I'm sorry

I could have taken him out No it's all good it was just funny He just looked like he was going through Vietnam Because he had a busy week anyway But regardless thank you to both of you Thank you to everybody who came We raised a lot of money for the Southern Poverty Law Center If you couldn't make it send some money their way anyway They do a lot of money for the Southern Poverty Law Center. If you couldn't make it, send some money their way anyway.

They do a lot of great work, and fuck Nazis. Yeah, yeah. They're very cool. Also, just a few little things of housekeeping. We got a show coming up at Harvell's in Long Beach, September 19th at 8.30 p.m. Got the lineup locked in. That's going to be Nat Bamel, Kelly Ryan, Samir Suri, and Asana Maad, all Mean Boys favorites. Yeah, and it's going to be a lot of fun.

We have some real goofy bullshit planned. Indeed we do. All the usual shit, leave us a review on iTunes. Go check those videos out on the YouTube and subscribe up there. If you're one of those weirdos who listens to podcasts on YouTube, all the episodes are going up every week on the YouTube page, so you can play those at work while you're supposed to be doing Microsoft Excel. Yeah, other than that, enjoy the show.

Ba-bye. Welcome to Too Much Fog. Welcome to the mean, the good, and the rad or whatever. It's literally on the thing. There's a lot of people in front of it. I cannot stress to you how much we thought this stage was bigger than it is. We were like eight, nine people, whatever. But at least you can't see us. Because sometimes you say to Keith Carey, hey man, can I bring my fog machine and strobe light?

And he's obviously going to say yes. And then sometimes you say, let's write a show too. And Kyle's like, I said fog machine, my work is done. Oh, guys, thank you all.

Give yourselves a hand for coming out tonight. Mostly because I need to know if you're there because the fog has just descended upon all of you like you're the

foggy coast of Maine. I am Kyle Clark. I'm Natalie Hazen. Oh, I'm also going to admit to the hour, towel powder is sweet and sour. I am Kyle Clark. I'm Natalie Hazen. Oh, I'm also going to admit that our town pal is too sweet of a sour. Rivers Langley here. Hello.

I'm Matthew Burnside. I'm Keith Carey. I'm Tom. And we are much too many people. Say something, Kyle. I had no idea we were going to be

standing up the whole time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like I am in a goddamn police lineup. This is a really sad yeah. I feel like I am in a goddamn police lineup. This is a really sad one. You look like you're in a police lineup. You're really screwed if you're the one who looks like the killer. Oh, my God.

My favorite thing is that Tom, I don't think, has ever met Mr. Goodnight. So when he did his standard intro, I used to hear Tom go, what? There's a lot of confusion tonight because nobody really knows what's going on. Hey, Natalie and I kind of do. That's true. But the rest of us, this has been like a big practical April Fool's thing.

It's great. If you're going to plan out a charity event, make sure it's with six teenage boys. You guys are the ones that came with the plan, right? Yeah. Make it harder to see up here. I think that was a general idea of the

following team. So, Matt, Natalie and I are from the podcast This Is Rad. Rivers and Mr. Goodnight are here from the Goods from the Woods. Give them time to clap, Kyle. We need to hear it. There's a lot of people to cover. And Tom and Keith, the guys who look the same over on the edge,

are the Mean Boys. They're the only podcast with a uniform. We are officially now the only Mean Boys because Connor's fucking fired. So we were supposed to, you know, what really made this show fall apart was when we lost one extra person. Believe it or not.

If we had one more straight white dude up here on our show about diversity And celebrating it It was like when Roy Orbison died And the traveling Wilburys were left all alone There was just not enough people Connor McSpadden Who was supposed to be here

Cancelled days ago To take a gig in Arizona A state known for its uh liberal left leanings who would support this kind of event so if you see on the poster i believe it's going to be over by matt's crotch here uh we have actually crossed connor out on the poster now uh we're going to go through a bunch of different segments uh if you listen to the podcast some of them will sound more familiar than others largely meangely Mean Boys segments, because their show has segments.

We're really good for this kind of thing. We've got a lot of fun, cool stuff. A lot of stuff that you will probably only ever see here this evening. But I think our first thing, we should get into the Mexican Joke Off. So Zach, why don't you hit us? Mexican Joke Off! Wait. Hi,

for Papico. Now, if you'll notice We gave Connor's reason for not showing up Is he says he's poor I would also like to note that Tom Who has been on Mean Boys for easily 40 episodes Did not know how that theme song worked I thought I was accurate It's a bunch of random noises

I got it It's a guitar, you dumb idiot. I can't make a guitar with my mouth. I feel like I did pretty good. Already it's a lot with Thurmer. By the way, that was all three of our theme songs played at the same time at the beginning of the show. That's also the sound you hear when you get to hell.

Yeah. I've listened to it so many times prepping the video for this. It's just all I hear when it's quiet now. So the way this

first segment works, Keith, do you want to explain what the Mexican joke author is? Yeah, at the beginning of every episode of Meme Boys,

we go through the news, we find the weirdest shit in the world, and we try and write jokes about them. Because we wanted to write Jimmy Fallon jokes, but they weren't

stupid and shitty. So we're going to go through and see who has good ones and who's going to get mock but if they weren't stupid and shitty. So we're going to go through and see who has good ones and who is going to get mocked mercilessly. I think the way we're going to do this we're

going to start at Tom. Okay. We're going to go down and then we're going to go back. Everybody has written two Mexican joke off jokes.

You want me to put the leading foot forward? I'll gladly do it as well. We need to do it at one. We're not starting from the middle you son of a

bitch. God damn it. Where's that file? He's going through text. A Boston area library is pleading with local people to stop paying for their overdue library

books with Chuck E. Cheese tokens. That said, tickets and good report cards are still accepted. The most shocking part of that is that Boston has a library. A woman born without a vagina has started a GoFundMe to raise money for reconstructive surgery. She was going to use Patreon, but after visiting the Mean Boys page, she thought there were already enough pussies begging for money.

God damn. Yeah. I mean, you're not wrong. Bitches are mean. Bitches are mean. I can't say the real version. All right. Mr. Goodnight.

Okay. Troy Gentry. Have you all ever heard of Montgomery Gentry? They're a country duo. It was kind of like Brooks and Dunn. But it was two other people. Troy Gentry of Montgomery Gentry, the country duo, has died tonight.

But Eddie Montgomery, the survivor, is thinking about reuniting Montgomery Gentry by bringing in Jimmy Hart. That's exactly what I wanted that to be. I understood about three words of that. I aim to please, you understand. That's real, by the way. He died in a helicopter crash.

Today? Just to bring the mood right up. Stevie Ray Charles. Stevie Ray Vaughn. Stevie Ray Charles. He died in a helicopter crash. Stevie Ray Vaughn. Stevie Ray Charles is better. I like that. Stevie Ray Charles. He's a chirog. He was flying the failed helicopter.

A man in Maine was driving and holding his cat when he crashed into a Chinese restaurant. The man suffered mild injuries and was put in the hospital. The cat was killed and put in Combo B. Bob Hope, everybody. I hate that Burnside has ended up with the only lone microphone to himself. By the way, Burnside's dressed like he's in the specials. I love it.

Prince's sister has revealed that the late musician's favorite color is orange and not purple, the color he's famous for. Twitter has revealed that everybody hates Prince's sister. I appreciate that. I just love how much physical energy there was in you telling that joke. It's the only way I can describe it. Pretty aggro, man. You picked it up, picked it up, picked it up. A far-right German politician has pledged to outlaw Arabic numbers.

Arabic numbers is also what my racist uncle calls the Aladdin soundtrack. I figured out what the... I deleted the file, but... But you could go to recover deleted files, and I recovered it, and now the joke still won't work. The DOJ wants

records of people who go to anti-Trump websites in a movement called Show Me Your Papers and Instagram Likes. I told you. What's great is that we're going to snake draft back, so you immediately get another chance. Oh, cool.

Okay. Fuck. Rihanna asked David Copperfield to take her back in time to stop her from losing her virginity. The magic trick will be called On My Back to the Future. We have a winner. Oh, redemption. A 14-year-old paraplegic in Paris

was mutilated by rats. This story is being adapted by Pixar in the new film Ratatouille 2, Meals on Wheels. I just imagine you seeing that art and going, ooh. My whole room just beautiful-minded. Everything just lit up and connected.

It's like some kind of anti-miracle. Calls to the National Suicide Prevention Hotline spiked after Logic performed at the VMAs this year. Callers were greeted with an automated message That said turn the channel Or do it already It's no rats eating the kids I was going to say Following that was impossible A school lunch lady in Florida Was arrested today on charges of inappropriate

Sexual contact with a minor You know it's amazing how much can change From chicken finger Friday to Meatless Monday. That's the most... I did it. Sorry. So Finger Friday was where they have chicken fingers. I missed some of the setup. What was the setup? Or tell me after. It doesn't matter. For those listening

at home, yeah, it's Chicken Finger Friday. Meatless Monday, because she got arrested so she doesn't have the meat, which is a penis. No, I got the punchline. I hear the setup. We're killing this.

Hey, Mr. Goodnight, do you have something that will help confuse Tom less? Paul McCartney said in an interview recently that he has written a song about Donald Trump. It's called Back in the USSR. Yeah! Solid!

Thank you. I'm here three more nights. Netflix announced a reboot of The Magic School Bus, starring Lily Tomlin and Kate McKinnon. This joins a slate of other lesbian-fronted 90s TV reboots, including Clarissa Scissors It All, Sabrina the Teenage Clit, Are You Afraid of the Dick, and The Mystery Folds of Shelby Woo.

Oh my god. No addendums? I was just gonna say, it's funny how much better I am. I was going to say, the fucking non-comedian up here is just fucking killing it. I love it. God damn it. All right. The World Clown Association has complained that the upcoming feature film, It, is hurting the reputation of real clowns.

The spokesman for the organization then magically turned his balloon into a razor blade and ran to the sewers screaming, He will have his revenge! That's the Mexican Jokoff, ladies and gentlemen. Goddamn right it is. You can hear that weekly on the Mean Boys podcast. That's right. Do we want to move into the next one? So our next segment here, according to the list, is another Mean Boys game. I'll set this one up.

Sometimes at our live shows, we play a game called Mean Boys Fan or Sex Offender. Because we've noticed that a lot of people who like this show also look like kids with their dicks. However, in the spirit of the fact that we're raising money for the SPLC, we just had to change it a little bit. This week, we're going to be playing Podcast Fan or Neo-Nazi. So everybody part and Zach hit it. Podcast Fan or Neo-Nazi Podcast Fan or Neo-Nazi

Podcast Fan or Neo-Nazi. Hard to tell the difference. Sometimes both. So we have a PowerPoint presentation set up. Are you ready for our first one? Yeah, let's do the first one.

All right, everybody. Already you see the problem with this game. This is harder than you thought it was going to be. I liked watching the people in the audience who looked around at the rest of the audience. Let me get the fucking bar set for what this is going to be. All right, so do we have any thoughts from this side on what this is going to be. All right. So do we have any thoughts from this side on what we think this might be? Rivers?

Oh, I can ruin this immediately. Oh, okay. Burnside, you're unaware of any fans any of us have. Yeah, no. It's like the beard says white power and the hat says I run a train that is also a blimp. Which makes me think it's a podcast fan. It definitely seems like he knows where his goggles are. He doesn't look like he has the technology for podcasting.

I don't know. I can't imagine anyone with a top hat. Well, maybe. He has one of them telegraphs, and it just morphs codes off the entire show. I'm going to go podcast. Is that a sex shop he's in? It appears.

I think it's a fancy hotel. He's by a bunch of sunglasses. Those are his sunglasses and I think a large spider. People fucking sunglasses, but what's that shit in the back? There's the Tom I know. So let's see. Let's find out. Hit pause. There we go. And... Bam!

Yeah! Is that one of yours? Yeah, at Stump Chunkman out of the six, you guys. He takes pictures in the bathroom so you know he's cool, brother. He takes pictures and sends them to us. The classic mark of a cool guy. In the bathroom, man.

Like Chuck Berry and others. All right, let's see the next one. You are very correct, audience. I love that you guys agreed. Whatever he is, it's a bummer. The important thing is you guys need to keep thinking this is funny because Connor, who fucked off afterwards, gave us too many of these. He's like too young to be either

of these things. Let's hit it and find out. Let's see what we're feeling. Nazi, dude. Nazi. I'm saying podcast fans. I think he's a delightful podcast fan. I'm happy to have this business. Let's go for number three. I love the

witch hunt. He's a Nazi. Oops. By the way, I have no idea how thoroughly Connor researched this, so we accuse someone of being a Nazi that's not. Our bad. That's tinfoil. That is his window. Oh, it is.

That's fucking tinfoil. Nazi. Tom, real quick. How good are you at the erotic picture hunt game at the bar? Bam. Boom. All Nazis love tinfoil. 101.

That's not Nazis. That's just tweakers in general. You definitely... I feel like you guys cheated and cropped out his tucked in polo shirt. All right. That's the line of Nazis, whether it's tucked in or not? Yeah. See, it's hard.

People who listen to podcasts are gross. I'm saying podcasts because New York, I don't know. I feel like New York likes podcasts. Tom, show your work. Baseball is kind of an all-American thing for neo-Nazis. Let's see. Yeah. Wow.

Told you about New York. I told you's see. Told you about New York. I told you. This is Tom's classic move where he pretends he knew what he was talking about. Next one. Good podcast. Gotta love the cricket, too. The cricket's really helping. Trick question.

He's a podcast fan. The child is a Nazi. Spider-Man is a known... Get out of here, Puerto a Nazi. Spider-Man is a known... Get out of here, Puerto Ricans. Thwip. Spider-Man will swing away from you going, well, the swastika was a sign of peace once. What the fuck is wrong with that kid's head?

He's got a mask on. Well, why don't we hit play? That's a Nazi. Hey! See, and I want to point out, Connor understands how the law works, so he puts a question mark on the Nazis so that we are not legally culpable.

I also like that we all just went, hey, and then realized, oh, he's got a kid. How pissed was that kid about Miles Morales? We're in a comic book shop. I'm allowed. That looks exactly like my stepdad, who is a real Nazi. We're in a comic book shop. I'm allowed. That looks exactly like my stepdad, who is a real Nazi,

so I gotta go Nazi here. All right. Scorpion tattoo, I'm going Nazi. Yeah, but Atlanta. I don't know, ATL. Nazi. I'm also pretty sure he's on a boat. Not thrilled. I feel like he just likes the Braves logo,

but not Atlanta. All right, next. This one's tough. This is a difficult one. Podcast. I like how viscerally you guys all react to just dudes with beards. Most of these guys you're owing look like half of you. That's the point

of the game. Let's see. I say podcast. Pink tie podcast. And hey! Also, this looks like four people who work at this place. Here we go. What are the tats?

It's hard to see. I wonder if this is the guy getting the Mean Boys tattoo. Somebody got a tattoo of this dumb show. All right. It could be either. I mean, I got to go Nazi. I don't know. I feel like it's clean enough that I'm going to go.

Hey, Bernstein was wrong. I just know Connor, and I know this is the point where he got lazy and tired making the games. Are they going to get more obvious? Oh, hang on. I don't like white power Laverne and Shirley here. It's like, we hate Jews, and we work at a chicken plant. Laverne and Shirley, it was less than six million.

Did Connor make a poor little white arrow to indicate? Yes, he did. Okay. Those are backup hoods. Connor's pointing out that it's this guy. I didn't even notice that. Oh, I thought that was the Illuminati. Let's see.

Nazi. Nazi. It feels weird to all yay when a swastika appears on screen. Now, when Connor did too many of these, I liked that he was like, no, I'll keep the real pixelated ones in. I didn't know Nazis lived in Tron. I was going to say, he looks like Stephen Colbert fucked Garrison Keillor. No, he looks like genitals in Japanese pornography. Now let's see if he's a Nazi.

I'm going to go Nazi. We don't want him, though. He was a podcast fan. Apologize to the podcast. He's a podcast fan There we go He also I think Might be like Mexican

But he is wearing a scarf Cause like I like that it went like Mad Men got cancelled And we immediately were like Guys gotta stop looking handsome Because they turned into Nazis He kinda looks like

The gay porn headless horseman With that scarf. Let's see if that shitting on him was worth it. Nazi? Show me Nazi. That's the closest I will ever get to hosting Family Feud. Only because of my association with the mean boys.

I just noticed that Mr. Goodnight is just chugging out of a jug of sweet tea right now. Is that molasses? If any triangular trade, Jack, this is sweet tea. Okay. I got sweet tea. Here we go. Is that Brinside?

It does look literally exactly like you. What the fuck? You're looking at it as if you... Nah, see. Nah, see. Nah, see. The answer's neither. I never listen to podcasts. What the fuck? You're looking at it as if you... Nazi! Nazi! Nazi! The answer's neither. I never listen to podcasts. It's true.

No, we heard your joke off. Oh, that's the one. We did tell him to listen, and he gave us a real like, yeah, sure. Hey, he's a podcast fan. That's definitely a Mean Boys fan specifically. I don't know. He could be cosplaying as Burnside.

Oh, man. Everybody feels it. For those listening at home, the O is because we have a very opulent white man standing in front of a Thomas Kinkade painting. Oh, see, I was going to say standing in front of the Olin Mills backdrop at Kmart. Standing on one of the bridges of Madison County for sure. Yeah, I think this is a tall cup of Nazi pudding right here. Hey, it's Nazi. To be fair, that guy gave this American life a chance once,

but it wasn't enjoyed. Nazi. Anyone who has a photo of them at a gas station has to be a Nazi. Yeah, under what circumstances was this picture taken? And he's like, yeah, make that a publicly available image. Someone just told him it was the time on Sprockets where we danced. To me, it looks like a deleted scene from the Time of Your Life Green Day video.

It looks like he deleted some of his eyebrows. That's not even a regular gas station. That's a diesel-only gas station. This is a Nazi. Hit it. What? Oh, we Nazis use diesel? Diesel is German.

The science checks out. I'm not giving Tom credit. This has given Tom a lot of dangerous precedence. Hey! Holy shit. It's just the sketch of the Unabomber. The sketch of the Unabomber came to life in the world's worst Ralph

Baxter movies. But then Max Headroom fell on hard times. Let's see. I know who this is. That's a podcast fan who was in Mean Boys Fan or Sex Offender and was in the crowd last time we did this. Oh, god damn it! Nazi! Nazi! It's a picture of Conor McSpad. Stay in Arizona. Hit itSpad. Stay in Arizona.

Hit it. Stay in Arizona. Love you. Yeah, shockingly. Oh, no! I stand by what I said. Oh, a stunning revelation. Conor's a Nazi,

and that is podcast fan of Neo. Oh! All right. Our next segment, ladies and gentlemen, we will let you get to know, if you have not experienced already, the man of the hour, the tower of power, too sweet to be sour.

Mr. Goodnight is here to answer some questions. So, Rivers, will you grab one of those mics? Give that to the man. Every time I think I can sit back and drink some tea. Here, wait. I will give you the seat of power. Can we do a segment Mr. Goodnight takes a nap? Oh, my God. That's an old picture, man. Can we do a segment Mr. Goodnight takes a nap? Oh my god That's an old picture man

That's back when I had that Hagar the horrible look But I did get you your Elvis stamp For the letter I think they should have done a fat one I voted for fat Elvis Alright this segment is called Dear Mr. Goodnight And before the show we got on Twitter

We're at the Good Spot and we asked some folks Just to write in some questions This segment is called Dear Mr. Goodnight, and before the show, we got on Twitter. We're at the Good Spot, and we asked some folks just to write in some questions to ask Mr. Goodnight. So I was going to read some of those. And first, before we start, this segment is brought to you by Milo's Sweet Tea. Yeah, this is a sweet tea from Bessemer, Alabama. It's the best in the world. They are not paying me to say this. I am just a big fan They have a Birmingham only hamburger restaurant

Which is real good Yeah it's the best I eat there all the time when I'm there So if you're wondering that is just sweet too So the first question Comes from Dear Mr. Goodnight What's the best and worst thing about living in LA

Well You know Dear Mr. Goodnight, what's the best and worst thing about living in L.A.? Well, you know, L.A. I think was a funner place a few years back because people were real wild and things. And now people have gotten real uptight and stuff. But I think that the climate is the thing to keep anybody out here. Because you will deal with the traffic, which is the worst thing. And you will deal with any other damn thing. Just for the climate alone and the free sunset that you can see. I was at Venice Beach just before I got here. But tonight, really stoned.

And I got a free sunset, man. And that's entertainment that doesn't cost nothing. And that's why people put up with horrible rents and violent homeless people on the street. And it go downtown and it's like the omega man or a wasteland or something but you cannot beat a climate we don't hardly need air conditioning some of the time and they don't have hurricanes and look what's happening everywhere else and look at the paradise that people are living in and yet they still get upset about things that's right shame on you californ man. Don't do any work out here.

Just enjoy yourselves because you live in a paradise, and I intend to take full advantage of it. This has been Mr. Goodnight for the California Travel Bureau. Exactly. So if they were giving me money off my rent or something or some kind of food stamps or something for living in a place like this. Yeah, that's right. It could burn down at any moment.

But, hey, free sunset. Yeah, free sunset. Where are you going to get that? Good climate, man. This is from Caballero the Kid. Dear Mr. Goodnight, Hurricane Irma is at the door. Do you have any good hurricane slash general natural disaster survival tips? Yes, California. They don't have no hurricanes, man.

Why do you think I'm out here? That and the weather. Because Milo's in Birmingham. I don't want to hurricanes, man. Why do you think I'm out here? That and the weather. Because Milo's in Birmingham. I don't want to start a feud here, but it's way better than In-N-Out. You understand? Way better. Oh, boy. We're going to have a lot of pushback here because no one knows what Milo's is.

Everybody go down to Birmingham. They're going to give me free food now. Everybody go down to Birmingham and get you some Milo's and tell them goodnight sent you so that when I go down there on Christmas time, maybe I get some free fries or something I'll get her to drink. But Los Angeles, as you know, we have two seasons.

Well, three actually. We have hot, we have nice, and we have fire. Those are our... What in the event of a California-based natural disaster would you maybe need for a bunker-type situation? Well, I don't want to tell everybody this, but I know the two coolest spots in the general Los Angeles area. And I don't want anybody coming in bothering me, but there is a dog park in El Segundo.

And it is the most comfortable place in the entire Los Angeles area, no matter what's going on. What about Griffith Park? I know you like that, too. Griffith Park has too many coyotes and things like that. They bother you if you're trying to make out of something in the bushes there. There's coyotes and things like that around. And it's too hot. You want to get towards the sea because it's nice and cool there and there won't be the fires. And the ocean don't burn rivers because it's water.

Dolphins. People think dolphins are smart, but they never invented fire. You understand? Because they lived in the water. Dolphins, you know, people think dolphins is smart, but they never invented fire, you understand, because they lived in the water, so it makes you stupid, but it don't burn. But as you say about Griffith Park, come for the science. Oh yeah, stay for the Spanish girls with the big butts, because they are all around the Foucault pendulum.

This guy's shaking his head. He knows he's there every damn day looking up at that frightening painting of the Pleiades and things and all them Saturn and Kronos up on the ceiling, if you've been to that place. This is from our friend at J. Michael McCall, the Magic City Saint. Dear Mr. Goodnight, my child is due in January. What are some good baby names, boy and girl? Well, I think Matt is a good name.

Okay, yeah. Mike is a good name. Okay, yeah. Mike is a good one, too. Bullet is another. Bullet? Bullet. Yeah, Bullet. Like Bullet Bob Armstrong, you understand? Yeah, or Steve McQueen's Bullet.

Yeah, exactly. Very good. Really, you could just name children. If we named all the kids, they would just be Steve McQueen and Burt Reynolds movies, so my children would be Bullet and Stroker Ace. That a good idea they call me stroker ace already and that's not even my name what about a girl name a girl name yeah like if you had a oh mary that's the number one name for girls anywhere in the world man it's a pretty name kathleen is nice too yeah okay yeah kathleen yeah that's my mama's name. You know, Kathleen. We fight, man.

We fight because my mama is a saint. This is the last one. This one, it just says, hola, pendejo. Arriba la raza. Mi gimmick is mi vida. Drop me gimmick or meet me at karate. Señor buenos noches. Me no speak-o.

El language-o. Tell them who's señor buenos noches. Mino speako el languajo. Tell them who's señor buenos noches. No, señor buenos noches is an asshole, you understand. Señor buenos noches, I don't know if... Have y'all ever seen the Patty Duke show? The Patty Duke show was a show with two Patty Dukes on it, but they weren't twins, you understand. They was identical cousins. Well, I have an identical cousin and he

is evil and he goes he goes to mexico and he calls himself senor buenos noches and he steals all my jokes man he's like the the who's that who is that guy carlo he's like the carlos mencia of in reverse or something of mr goodnight and and one time he showed up around here and i i don't like him so if he's around i just i just up around here and I don't like him. So if he's around, I just leave, man. Because I don't need him to destroy my happiness. And that's dear Mr. Goodnight. Thank you.

Give it up for him, ladies and gentlemen. So this next segment comes from the This Is Rad podcast. For those of you who don't know, Loot Crate is a fine sponsor of even mid-tier podcasts and for you know just a very affordable rate a month you can get

a crate full of cool pop culture stuff and apparel. Anyways we have been sponsored by Loot Crate for a while and we asked them at one point hey instead of doing your ad copy can we just make up a real weird thing and they were like we don't care you guys are not famous and we're like, awesome. So we came up with Ludiclaus,

who is our non-gendered spokesbeing for the thing. And tonight Ludiclaus is making their first public appearance. So we have come up with a segment. Ludiclaus Shark Tank, everybody. So what this is, is Ludiclaus is going to come out, and then me, Rivers, and Keith are going to pitch

This Is Rad, Mean Boys, and Goods From The Woods crates to become new crates for Loot Crate. So if you're wondering how inside baseball this is going to get, the answer is aggressively so. So first of all, let's bring out... Wait, wait, wait.

I feel like I have to do this with proper theme music. For those of you who don't know, Loot Claws among many things is cousins with Ludacris, the beloved rapper. So ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for... There we go. Ludicross, everybody! This is what I look like. Deal with it! How's it going, Ludicross?

Good. I just want to be very clear that this is not sanctioned by a loot crate at all. No, absolutely not. No. Just very clear. We were going to ask, and then we realized they'd say no, and we'd be down a segment. So with that, gentlemen, are you prepared? Yep. All right.

Why don't you come on out with your loot crate situations? For once, I'm getting a loot crate instead of two. Yeah. We're giving you three loot crates. Two good little podcast listeners. So we're going to present, and then you will choose What you want So I am only going to go first Because I used the screen for mine Because I set up the file

So if you guys could move for a minute And Zach if you'll hit pause And I will explain the first crate This is the This Is Rad loot crate I had no help from my parents in designing it I will start with the center We will have one of our other sponsors Mack Weldon

we created a spokesman for them which is Sack Weldon so you get a Sack Weldon t-shirt that says I'm with Sacky and it's an arrow pointing down to your nuts that's very clever and on the back it says Sackback I like it then you also get a Laura Knight action figure

on her way to Monster High. Our webmaster, Richard Eden, who I feel is very handsome. I decided he should have his own line of valentines. And then because I feel like No Loot Crate is complete without a fun toy, you also get cutesy the donkey from our D&D episode, our 200th episode. So many inside jokes. So just there's four solid inside jokes. I can count at least seven people who have been moderately amused by this crate.

I like it. I think we're off to a great start. I love it. So we can go. Zach, move to the next slide. And we're prepared. So that's ours. It's a lot of fun.

Rivers, would you like to present the goods from the woods loot crate? Yeah. So we're not going to let Good Night have all the fun with. So that's ours. It's a lot of fun. Rivers, would you like to present the goods from the woods loot crate? Yeah, so we're not going to let Good Night have all the fun with the Milo's tea. So we've got an ice cold one gallon bottle of Milo's ice tea brewed in Bessemer, Alabama, home of Bo Jackson. I don't know what any

of those things are. Bo Jackson's the Bo Jackson, Jesus. Is that that horse man on Netflix? No. Bo Jackson's the... Bo Jackson, Jesus. Is that that horseman on Netflix? No, Bo Jackson. He's the fastest character in Tecmo Bowl. I like that your crate already weighs a gallon and it needs to be refrigerated.

Oh, it's getting weirder. So also in our crate, we've got some DVDs that I'll let Mr. Goodnight tell you what they are you want me to tell them? see there is no crap in this box if you get this box are we raffling these things off

you get this as the Eddie Ed and the Eddie I don't know if you've ever seen this crap but if you get stoned and you watch this show especially the early ones before they went to school and it got all weird and shit it is real good to watch when you are a thorn. And the canker girls, they're living in a trailer park, pretty damn cute, too, for ugly girls. And this one, if anybody gets this, I want them to give it to me,

because this is legends of Mid-South wrestling. Three-disc set. Wow, three whole discs. Ted DiBiase. Before it was the Million Dollar Man. Junkyard Dog. The Black Hulk Hogan. Before it was Hulk Hogan.

Down in Louisiana. And Jake the Snake. Yep, that's right. So there's good wrestling on this. There's real wrestling on that tape. I also picked up the very best of the Highwaymen. Okay. That being Chris Christopherson, Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, and Waylon Jennings.

Did I get this at a truck stop? You're goddamn right I did. It was $7. So we're going to throw that in. My favorite fact about the Highwaymen is that all of those people have the same single off the highwayman record on all of their greatest that's right yep and it's the song where they at one point all say i was a highwayman yeah yeah and then yeah it's uh the best synth drums country music in the 80s could provide oh yeah willie nelson talks about getting abducted by aliens yeah it's insane you're gonna want to you know chris christopherson backed him on that. Oh, fuck yeah he did. The last

thing, because if you're thinking, it seems like Rivers just wandered around a Walmart for an hour today and found all this shit, you'd be exactly right. But I was reminded of a fond memory, and that was when we were when I was a senior in high school, my friend Mark, his brother David turned

21, and he gave Mark his old ID, so all of a sudden we had access to a 21 year old quote unquote ID. And so we had to get beer for a party and Mark goes in to get the beer and he bought 25 cases of beer. We're 17. And he's going towards the

register and on his way he decides, this looks a little fishy. I should get something else. And i was trying to think of something else for my box and so i got exactly what mark bought uh which is a fucking hatchet my friend in 2004 was walking through the walmart was like this seems a little fishy and he got a fucking hatchet from the camping section. So that is our box and I am legit going to give that to someone. That is solid.

Whoever wins the movie tickets in the end of the night will add that to your win book. Yeah, I'm going to give you all that shit and useful stuff and it's good stuff, man. Yeah, so that's our That's awesome. That is an excellent crate. I don't know what most of that is, but I do love weapons, so You might have to let Natalie keep the hatchet.

Is that a Juggalo-themed box? It is now. We're up next. If it was Juggalo-themed, this would be a two-liter of Faygo if it was Juggalo-themed. It's like the southern dandy of Juggalo.

Dandolos. I'm already impressed with the Mean Boys' presentation. For those listening at home, the Mean Boys fittingly have brought their crate in a trash bag, which I would offer up as how it's delivered to your house. And I would just like to point out, we didn't just wander around a Walmart like the goods

from the woods. We did less work than that. I wandered around our shitty house. These are all things I found in our shitty house. Let's open it up. Is it the one mug? Not the one mug. Not the one mug. We have one mug that we share between a lot of men who live in our home. Alright, what do we have first?

First thing, a camouflage hat. Nope. This belongs to Connor McSpadden. I cannot stress enough how much Connor insisted we put this in here. So that's a Make America Great Again hat. It sure is. Connor's a Nazi. Remember from earlier. And it's off-brand.

It's not even the real Trump one. The letters are too big. Oh, sorry, I didn't give Trump money for real. I rubbed my butt on it. How do you know the size of the letters? Because I was going to make one for a joke before it became too real. All right, what do we got next, Tom?

Next thing, a redneck canteen. Yeah! Fuck, yeah. This is indeed a redneck canteen. This is a Capri Sun, so simple even a Tom could use it. It is a gasoline container for those listening at home. It's good for tea. It says gasoline on the side.

You could hold tea. You could hold soup. You could hold whatever. Toilet whiskey, I assume Mr. Goodnight makes. Really, any liquid will go in there. I didn't say reading was involved. Tom, next item. Tom just looked at it like, oh, it does say gasoline.

Tom also has no idea what's in this bag. Non-gay poppers. That's right. This isn't just the loot crate. It's also a misdemeanor in the state of California. Wait, are those fire washers? These are fire truck poppers. Put them't just the loot crate. It's also a misdemeanor in the state of California. Wait, are those firewaters? These are firecrackers. The drug poppers.

Oh, good. Put them next to the gasoline can. And the Make America Great Again hat. I'll have you know that is probably empty. You know. Those are real firecrackers. That true story. I stole in New Mexico and hid under a comedian's used heroin bag.

Next up. I don't know how... If the Mean Boys have one mission statement, it's to be a little bit gay and a little bit evil. Don't worry about it. Well, funny story. This is a dildo. This is a dildo, which as you can see,

is flecked with glitter for some reason and stained with God knows what. And there's lots of hairs on it. Yeah. Little tiny hairs. I think the hairs came from Tom. As far as I know, this has not been in a person. Yes, Burnside, you have a question. Is there a bite taken out of it at the bottom?

Well, funny you should ask. All true things about this dildo. Number one, it was once used in a satanic ritual. That is for real true. I used my hands. Number two, we once used it to spray blood in an abandoned church at a crowd of people. And number three, I stole it from the set of Tosh.0.

And finally... A night gun. Everybody just got so scared. Tom, explain what this is. Oh, it's a night gun. Maybe you want to go on the TSA. Maybe they're weird about pistols. They'll never know what this is. They're idiots.

It's a crossbow. You could hijack a plane with this. No, you can't. Allegedly. I'm the blacker. You could allegedly hijack whatever you want.. No, you can't. It's on the placard. You can allegedly hijack whatever you want. No one will see it coming. You can load this with anything, okay? Arrows is popular, but don't be a hack. Poop, you know, blood, whatever you want, okay? It's your crossbow. You earned it with our loot bag meme crate. Andy, that's

what's beautiful about it, right? That's right. The mean boys loot... The mean boys loot crate. Do fireworks and hijack a plane. You could douse the dildo in gasoline and then fire it in summer. You read my mind, my friend. Does that mean our loot crate wins?

Yeah, for sure. I knew I should have put a weapon in mine. You read my mind, my friend. Does that mean our loot crate wins? Yeah, for sure. I knew I should have put a weapon in mine. Ludiclaws, do you have any messages for the people? No. Very good. Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for Ludiclaws. Please give it up for everybody for putting their things. I'm going to keep vamping while everybody gets shit off the stage

because the next segment is really complicated. So about one year ago, Matt Burnside said to me, hey, I have an idea. And I was like, uh-oh. So what that idea was, was Burnside was like, you know what I want to do? I want to host an entire talk show in 90 seconds and call it 90 Seconds Tonight.

Now, for a long time we thought that's a fucking dumb idea but then we also thought but it would also be hilarious so we tonight present you the pilot episode of 90 seconds tonight so burnside is getting his desk ready this is not counting against his time although i personally think it should have oh you suck jenny chalakian into this oh there we go guys please give. Oh, you suck Jenny Chalakian into this? Oh, there we go, guys. Please give it up for Jenny Chalakian, who's working here for us this evening. The best damn house manager a person can have. She got us pizza, so she's a saint in my eyes. All right. Are we ready, Burnside? Oh, do you have the timer for me? I'm also his band leader,

which means I play cues off of my phone. When you guys hear the music, do you have the timer for me? I'm also his band leader, which means I play cues off of my phone. When you guys hear the music, I will start the timer. He is putting on a jacket. All right, are we ready, Burnside? All right, so there's going to be a little roll. So when you hear the music, I'll start. We'll do this. Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, I give it up for Matthew Burnside and 90 Seconds Tonight.

Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Welcome to 90 Seconds Tonight. It's the talk show that only takes 90 seconds. Give it up for Kyle Clark and the play button, everybody. All right, shut up. We don't have time. This week, police in Atlanta shot and killed a tiger

after it attacked a dog in a person's backyard. It's true. It was an adorable dog. Apparently, the dog was part Dodson and part Frosted Flakes! 36 seconds. Oh, shit. We here at 90 Seconds Tonight

are big, big supporters of the arts and that includes arts and crafts so i'd like to introduce you to a new segment called craft macaroni and beads and here to help us is arts and crafts expert and one-third of the lady to lady podcast brandy posey oh shit uh is anyone a doctor or a seamstress out there I sold my eyes, shut my eyes, and I can't keep helping. Oh, shit. Is anyone a doctor or a seamstress out there? Anybody?

I'm not a doctor, but I've got a gun and I'm going to do it on my misery. What? Yeah, sure, go for it. No! All right, you know tonight's guest from the famous podcast Jordan, Jesse, Go! Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for Jordan Morris! It's great to be here. All right!

If that woman hadn't come out on stage periodically, Natalie, this would seem like a red pill meetup. Very true. Now, I got a question for you because it's interview time. Yes. So you were up for At Midnight. Yes, I got a question for you, because it's interview time. Yes. So you were up for At Midnight. Yes, I did. And you were also a contestant quite a few times, right? Sure was.

Did you ever cheat? At At Midnight? Yeah. No, I think it was all on the Up and Up. Why not? Every segment of this show should be 90 seconds. We are at two minutes. What?

You were just trying so hard. I just wanted you to make it through. Keep going. That's it. Do you really want to get into it? No.

Thank you very much! So that's how that happened. Two minutes and 28 seconds. Was that clocked in at? So hey, this is why we do pilots. This is why we do pilots. Fuck! That's why I'm really glad we didn't rehearse that. Because I was like, I bet it goes over.

He wanted me to have a boat horn to shut it out But it would have been bad because it would have been just me Spraying a boat horn at Jordan And I'm disappointed I didn't get to do that Because that would have been fun Alright Our next segment, Rivers, are you ready? Alright So, if you've ever

Who here has been to a live Mean Boys show? They're the only one of these three podcasters doing a live show before. Normally, during their live Mexican joke-offs, they have a dominatrix who tortures them when they don't do well. Knowing that we were all going to not do well, we opted out. Yeah, yeah. But what we decided to do is, you know what? If you have a dominatrix on retainer, you should for sure make that still a thing.

So, what we're going to do right now is we we're gonna ask all of you to reach into your hearts and reach into your wallets because this is what we're going to call the pain auction so keith and tom if you will please come out and please give it up for our dominatrix everybody here they come Here she is Sometimes you have a really funny idea And then you're out here doing it And you're like boy this seemed better I'm going to give Natalie a mic for this Because I feel like I want you to be Why don't you take a seat right here babe Why don't you just get a nice little seat Alright so the way this'm going to give Natalie a mic for this because I feel like I want you to be. Why don't you take a seat right here, babe? Why don't you just

get a nice little seat? Alright, so the way this is going to work is that we have a couple of things that we can do to Tom and Keith. We ask you to open up your hearts and open up your wallets. What is our first thing we're going to do? We have a flogger.

And I have a nice sparkly wand. Love it. Who, for a dollar, would like to see the two of them flogged? Remember, all of this money is going to the Southern Poverty Law Center. I see who moved faster. Remember, you don't want to blow it all at once, but let's start this off. Who's got cash?

There we go. I have one dollar. Do I have two? So we have a dollar for the Southern Poverty Law Center. Let's flog those boys at dollars worth. Our fans have money. Shit. Alright. Sir, you literally bought that for a dollar.

That hurts so much more than the last time we did this. Tom, are you ready? Who wants to see a dollar for Tom to get hurt? Thank you. There it is. Thank you. He's doing it from the front. Oh!

All right, so we have had that. What is our next thing we'd like to do? All right, hot wax. We're going to start the bidding at $2. Who would like to pay $2? Remember, you guys can pull... Oh, I see my aunt. With the hot wax offer, I was hoping Ricky Martin would show up.

I don't want to throw her under the bus, but she put dramatically more than $2 in, so I think she just bought both boys. Oh, fuck. All right, here we go. All right, okay, so they're standing. And Keith is standing. And... Ow! Oh, God, it feels kind of good.

Now I know this gets me horny. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Seriously, ouch. You know what? I think because she put such a sizable sum in, let's do another round. For poverty.

Yeah, for poverty. My nipple. I have that sound effect ah that's the belly that's the nipple that's more of the delky alright do we have one more thing yes we have hot sauce and clothespins

oh god I think we gotta go clothespins so we are gonna do I think the way we're gonna do this is we're gonna see if we can get a dollar a clothespin. How many clothespins in the next, uh, Rivers? I want... Oh, God.

Alright, we are looking at one, two, three. That's a ten. Oh, shit. We're at $14. $14. $16. I was really banking on. Oh, fuck. $16. I was really banking on you all being poor. $20.

$21. $27. $27. Fuck you. $32. I don't think we even have that many pins. $35. All right, we will call the bidding there.

You are all amazing people. Thank you for opening your hearts and opening your wallets. Oh, good. It35. All right, we will call the bidding there. You are all amazing people. Thank you for opening your hearts and opening your wallets. Oh, good, it worked. Here's the thing. I think since you guys have raised so much money, we are going to do

both the clothespins and the hot sauce. Also, can I just say, as far as live podcasts go, what the fuck, this is amazing, right? You wouldn't get this shit at Love It or Leave It.

Alright? Call me when Marin posts it. I feel shitty. I feel like I need to take my shirt off and get one of the clothes pinned. Yeah, you for sure should do that. Woo! Coming to Kyle! Coming to! Yay!

I'm for sure not Oh fuck She now has two clothespins on Keith's tongue And there's a bunch of hot sauce Now she's going in for Tom. She has an incredible amount of clothes pins attached to her shirt. Also, are you using...

Is that Texas Pete? What do you got there? Oh, it's... I was going to say, it's generic hot sauce. I love it. I wish I wasn't so happy right now. All right. I'm truly delighted.

I'll take the same setup. I'll go. Oh! I stand corrected. She has now attached two clothespins to Keith's nipple, which is also covered in hot sauce. Kyle, we're clearly regretting this. I hate podcasts.

I hate podcasts. My mama always warned me this is what showbiz would be. Tom, your reaction. Ah, okay. Wow, this is... This is... All right. Hit me with the tongue.

Hit me with the tongue. Here, get it. Oh. Oh. Oh, I made a whole noise. Oh, God. No. Oh, I's unpleasant.

Kyle has now a sauced nipple and a clothespin. Thank you for your generosity. Hey, Natalie? Yeah? Would you introduce the next segment? Yes, what's the next segment? Wow. And that was the paint auction, everybody.

Thank you. Now we're flinging clothespins at the generous people. All right, our next segment is going to be... By the way, we're taping this whole thing. We can't send this to SPLC with Ryan. I think they should see what we're doing. We put this on a VHS tape, we throw it through their window,

and we just say, you did this. Alright, if you've been to a live Mean Boys, you know we do a segment anytime we have this man present called the Tom Goss Lightning Round. However, we have another beautiful lunatic present tonight who we want to add in to the lightning round proceedings.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the stage, Mr. Goodnight. Who I'm fairly confident does not know where... Okay, there you go. Champ, still working that jug. I'm going to tell you what. Can I have a little bit of that sweet tea? Cool. Yeah, sometimes you drink a bunch of hot sauce

and then realize you're hosting the next segment. That's good sweet tea. Tom Goss approved. Tom Goss for Milo's sweet tea. That shit's awesome. So basically, the way this game works is simple. I'm going to give each contestant 30 seconds on the clock to explain something.

That's as vague as I'm going to make it. So let me pull up the timer here. Wait, so it's not quite lighting right? Yours is going to be... It'll make sense. Trust me. Okay. All right.

So, Mr. Goodnight, you have 30 seconds on the clock. Explain the Second Punic War. Go. Second War between Rome and Carthage. It's the one with Hannibal and the Battle of Zama and all that and Scipio Africanus. Okay. I'm an expert at the classics. All right.

He pulled that off very easily. I didn't know what that was. Shocking. Mr. Garnett, if you could pass the microphone to Tom Goss. Tom. Yes. 30 seconds on the clock. Name seven ways you can die.

Oh, jumping. Getting hit by something. Getting hit by something like a car. Suicide. Assisted suicide. Infection. And self-abuse. That's seven.

He says with the chain around his neck. And hot sauce and wax on my nipple. One nipple. Good night. You're back up. 30 seconds on the clock. Explain, and I don't even know what this means, Angelina Ballerina. Oh, it was a cartoon about a mouse who does ballet.

Yeah, she was... She was a mouse, and it used to come on on TV after Caillou, but now they got rid of it for splashing bubbles. Elaborate. It's on PBS. It's about fish. Okay, good. He's like the King of the Hill guy. Bonehammer or whatever.

But he's really smart. He's like the King of the Hill guy, Bonehammer or whatever. He's really smart. He's really smart. Bonehammer. What's his name? Boomhauer. Oh, I was right. It's Bonehammer now. Bonehammer is Macho Man in Spider-Man.

Bonehammer is ready. All right, Tom Goss, 30 seconds on the clock. Name seven things you could find in Canada. Oh, hockey, poutine, girls, trees, maple syrup, cars, and lakes. Wow. Most of those things you could find in America, too. Tom Goss, you're up again. Seven Asians.

Go. Seven Asians, go. Seven Asians? Yeah. Cambodian. Lucy Liu. Thailand. China. Japan.

Bacow, the kickboxer. And Hero from Netflix. He dreams of sushi. Wait, you don't mean Iron Fist, right? No, he means Jiro's dreams of sushi. Oh, Jiro. I thought you said Hero from Netflix. I'm like, Iron Fist, they made him white. I thought it was Silent J or whatever.

All right, Mr. Goodnight, 30 seconds on the clock. Explain the battle of Little Bighorn. Oh, Custer's Last Stand. Custer, Nasu, and Cheyenne, five companies wiped out Custer's battalion. The others was on a hill until the army came and got them a couple of days later. Okay, excellent. Tom Goss, 30 seconds on the clock. Name seven snacks at a party.

Oh, custard. Custard? Jell-O. Dessert snacks or no? Now you're getting technical. Ice cream, pretzels, cookies, Jell-O shots, and vodka. All right. Regular fucking lightning round. You ready? All right. Regular fucking lightning round.

You ready? Okay. All right. Japan. Japan. Oh, Eastern China. Dynamite. Boom boom guns.

Water. Water. Oh, person lube. Football. Oh, head trauma catch. Kyle Clark. Oh, better you. Head trauma catch Kyle Clark Better you The Civil War What?

The Civil War Free black people They weren't free That was the problem Fight to free the black people Antifa. Is that an insurance company? Mr. Goodnight.

What about Antiquo? No, no, no. I was telling him to do you. That's in the song. I've lost control. Antiquo. No, Key Largo, Antiquo, baby, why don't we go? Oh, of course.

That's Montego, my friend. Don't mess with me when it comes to Kokomo. You guys, I think that's the lightning round. Ladies and gentlemen, can I get everybody on stage? So, before we release you, first of all, thank all of you for supporting such a great cause and coming out for this

ridiculous madness. We have posters for the event on sale in the back. Again, all of the money from the sales continues to just go to the Southern Poverty Law Fund. Beyond that, we gave you all raffle tickets, yes? Ooh, it's that time. So remember, not only are you going to win some free movie tickets, but we're also going to include the Mean Boys and Goods in the Woods loot crates. I'm not giving you my plush donkey.

I love it too much. You're not giving them the Mean Boys one either because some of that's not mine. Sorry. I meant Goods from the Woods thing. There you go. So you get all the good stuff. You get a hatchet. So let's all be happy.

You can still leave here and commit a crime and indict Rivers. So are you ready, Natalie? Laura designed the poster. Did the poster for us, everybody. I'm not on it. Okay, the number is 540288. Hey! All right, give it up for these guys.

Congratulations, stranger. Oh, what's up, dude? Now you got hot sauce on your shirt. So again, we'd just like to thank you from the bottom of our hearts from Mrs. Rad, from the Mean Boys, from the Goods Lourdes. Thank you all for coming out and supporting this thing. Kyle Clark, Matthew Burnside, Laura Knight, Natalie Hanson, Mr. Goodnight. Because I started to look at Mr. Goodnight.

Then it was like, oh, I got to talk about Natalie. Tom Goss, Keith Carey, Rivers Langley Our dominatrix Hang on, Mean Boys fans, you know how we end every show, right? One, two, three Fuck everything God is dead Now please enjoy a rendition of all of our outro themes together I'm breaking down