Mean Boys - EP 108 - Dinosaur Facts

Episode Date: February 6, 2018

Support the show on Patreon: www.patreon.com/meanboys This week’s segments include “Mexican Joke Off”, "Is This Domain Name Taken" by Cali Velazquez, “Mark Malloy”, and a game of "Which of the Following" with things Tom has said by Ethan Becker. Come see us on tour! Most ticket links are live, if they're not, jump on our email list: http://meanboyspodcast.com Fuck with the new Mean Boys subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/meanboys/ Subscribe to our YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/channel/UC0hvkj7TOPzMdJbKIh1L_hw Shop Sudio headphones and use promo code "MEANBOYS" for 15% off all purchases: goo.gl/JWBAJK Contribute to the Mean Boys wiki: mean-boys.wikia.com/wiki/Mean_Boys_Wiki Send us an email at [e-mail] or leave us a voicemail at [phone] We are proudly sponsored by Don Carlo's Taco Shop in La Jolla California (www.eataburrito.com) Follow the show on Twitter: twitter.com/meanboyspodcast Follow Keith on Twitter: twitter.com/keithtellsjokes Follow Connor on Twitter: twitter.com/connormcspadden Follow Tom on Twitter: twitter.com/gossgoss6 Visit us on the web: www.meanboyspodcast.com Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/meanboyspodcast Follow us on Instagram: instagram.com/meanboyspodcast Follow us on Soundcloud: @meanboyspodcast Theme: I’ve Seen Footage by Death Grips (itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-mon…tore/id515449028) Buy Keith’s album (itunes.apple.com/us/album/forever-nap/id1105182043) Podcast logo by Luis Galvez: twitter.com/luiagal Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No Frills delivers. Get groceries delivered to your door from No Frills with PC Express. Shop online and get $15 in PC Optimum points on your first five orders. Shop now at nofrills.ca. Hey, everybody. It's the Mean Boys podcast. Special announcement time. What the fuck?

If you usually skip the intros, don't do it now. What is this announcement? The fun one first. We're going on tour. Oh, shit. We're going on tour announcement? The fun one first. We're going on tour. Oh, shit. We're going on tour. Be sure to fuck off. We're going on tour.

Hell yeah, dude. Yeah, baby. Springtime. Summer of, not summer, spring of 18. Yeah. That's when the tour's happening. You ain't so little to remember. Yeah.

This is new info to me. What places am I going? Stop doing this voice. Fucking Wisconsin. Chicago. Fort Wayne, Indiana. Detroit. Cleveland.

Fucking Pittsburgh. Washington, D.C. Philadelphia. What aboutadelphia what about new york city city city city wow i'm going to almost all these places for the first time except two you'll find out yourself which ones nobody gives a shit and you gotta stop talking like that uh almost almost all the ticket links are live guys those are on meanboyspodcast.com on the home page and uh if tickets aren't live for your. Those are on MeanBoysPodcast.com on the homepage. And if tickets aren't live for your city yet, get on the email list. It's the bottom of the homepage or on the announcement bar at the very top. Fucking stay up to date.

We want to come see you. You guys have been asking us to do a tour. We need you to come out. And we're not asking a lot from you. All the tickets are $10 online and $15 at the door. So get them right now. Have us be in a good head space going into this thing. We're not like, all right, we sold eight. What the fuck are we gonna do like that's exactly please help us help you we're just trying to sell out 40 seats at a time here so uh these

shows are gonna be great we're all in rare stand-up form everyone's super funny your friends your friends that you might think are skeptic would be skeptical of me but we'll like the stand-up show the podcast absolutely is a little more prohibitively enjoyable than all right we're good stand-up we are uh we comedians. We do comedy for strangers every fucking day. People give us money, we're good at it. And you guys will have fun. We are doing a few live Mean Boys podcasts

out on the road as well. Yes, we are. Live Mean Boys in New York, Chicago and Detroit. The other shows will be stand-up shows. If you want to catch a stand-up set and a podcast, we'll have some other stand-up dates for those cities as well. Moving on to the second big announcement, when we get to 250 iTunes reviews,

I, Connor McSpadden, will eat a full bowl of soup on the air. Oh, hell yes. I was going to make it 200, but we're only 23 away and I really don't want to do this and I figured it seemed like a good publicity strike. You fucking asshole.

The iTunes reviews help legitimize us, help us get more sponsors and all that shit. Help soup. Yeah, it makes us look cooler to everybody. Leave an iTunes review and tell us what kind of soup you want to watch fucking McSpadden chug. Yeah, exactly. Put that in there.

And I'll democratize it. I will do it. Here's the thing. There's a very good chance I will throw up. And ideally, we hit 250 right before our live podcast in Chicago and I have to barf on stage. Oh, God. That's everything I want.

At the North Bar. You guys are going to be bad at me about this. I am finally going to leave an iTunes review. Oh, it's too funny. I'm going to be mad at you. Because I haven't done it yet. I don't care. Yeah, thanks, Tom. Anyway, so this review comes to us from Freeman Chips.

I love this one. Three poppers huddle together and make jokes about each other being fat gay or retarded five stars i love that you call this poppers so thank you for that i like that we're opening buttholes you should have spelled it like the butthole pot where it's instead but it's actually oh that makes more sense i genuinely didn't even think about the fact that like poor popper is a word yeah anyway we got we got a lot of plenty tickets and mostly bus tickets frankly to book so if you haven if you haven't already, support the show on Patreon, guys. Every episode of Mean Boys barely comes out. We're all dying and starving to death.

And your five bucks really makes a huge difference to us. And at this point, there are 30 episodes of bonus content. You got a whole new fucking backlog of Mean Boys you can binge through. Ten bucks a month gives you fun merchandise and all that shit. Those Patreon rewards are going out soon. We just have the Keith is Fat Magnus. We'll be announcing our fucking February awards very, very shortly. It's easy. It helps us out

if you like the show. Look, you're not going to make that big of a dent into Adam Carolla's wallet if you like his show. No beef to him, but it's like $5 is a lot of money. Every little bit really does help us out, especially having to get ready to plan this tour and go out on the road. We hate begging you

for money, but you're getting something for your dollar, and it'll help us be a little more relaxed and make the show better and better every single week. Yeah. Other than that, fucking, yeah, just tell your friends about the show. Tell your friends about the tour. You guys are the fucking straight team. Yeah, please. You fucking urge everyone to go. We don't know exactly.

You said you were going to bring eight people. Do not lie to us. That's all we fucking. That's it. Just don't lie to us. Yeah, and if you still fill out that tour survey and let us know where where you are because we're going to be hitting the rest of the country soon. We'll be probably Florida and Denver and all that stuff. We'll be announcing those for later in the year.

And guys, just fucking – we appreciate it. We love you. It's wild that people listen to the show and even – It's bananas. You've got all these games and tweets and shit, and it blows my mind every day. We love you for it. Tom Goss is famous to a small portion of the American public and that is a beautiful thing yeah yeah sorry yeah seriously it's cool it's really cool and mind-blowing and it's scary yeah sorry

to be sincere uh you're gay you're retarded I am also gay here's the show horse gay yeah Hey everybody, welcome to the Mean Boys Podcast. War is peace, slavery is freedom, the McRib is back! I'm Connor McSpadden. I'm Tom Goss. And I'm... A smoking brontosaurus foot. Sure, sure enough. Connor McSpadden. I'm Tom Goss. And I'm... A smoking brontosaurus foot. Sure.

Sure enough. Tom's first ever slam on the show. And last ever. I can't believe you've never done that before. It was abstract, but you loved it. Did I love it? I don't know that I did. I mean, love is a word.

Imagine a brontosaurus foot. I'm imagining it. Okay. I felt strongly about it. I don't know if that was the direction I would say. That emotion is number one. So I feel like... This is jazz, man.

It's about the sense you don't make. Yeah. Smoking brontosaurus foot. Yeah. It's as though you're like... They're very round and I had 10 seconds to come up with something. I kind of get it. Okay, what does Keith do?

Okay, he smokes. What's a big thing, since Keith is big? Brontosaurus. What's the worst part of most bodies? The foot. It's all coming together. By Jove, I've done it, Tom. It was the shape of the foot.

They're perfectly round. Keith is shaped like a lot of things. He is not shaped like a foot. Not a regular foot, but a brontosaurus. I don't think a brontosaurus foot was actually shaped like a lot of things. He is not shaped like a foot. Not a regular foot, but a brontosaurus. I don't think a brontosaurus foot was actually shaped like that. I think you're thinking of a rubber toy of a brontosaurus. Either way. Nope. What I'm saying, Tom, is you don't

know shit about dinosaurs. I know all the shit. What do you know about dinosaurs, fam? I'm all about dinosaurs. I know about brontosaurus feet. You telling me I don't know about brontosaurus feet? Brontosaurus, I think, didn't exist. Tom, just because your body produces that, it doesn't mean that you know dinosaur facts. You're arguing me I don't know about brontosaurus feet? Brontosaurus, I think, didn't exist. Tom, just because your body produces that message doesn't mean that you know dinosaur facts. You're arguing very passionately about the existence of a foot

of a dinosaur I don't think was real. It might be bronchiosaurus. You're thinking of brachiosaurus. I think that's a different one. I was an adult swimmer for a couple years before it got axed. Just the boys this week, guys. Yeah, how's everybody doing this week? Just dinosaur facts. Alright, well, at least we don't doing this week? We're good. DinosaurFacts.

Yeah. All right. Well, at least we don't have to worry about an episode title. That's one good thing. DinosaurFacts right out the gate. We really are like the false flag news articles of DinosaurFacts right now. We're really speaking. The Dino Wars?

Yeah. Dude, I would fucking watch it. It's almost pterodactyls. That's like one of the shows I'd watch Like Beetleborgs that would get cancelled Like on Nickelodeon Oh, Dino Wars for sure existed I think it did

It was a Transformers thing Oh, okay I was never into Transformers But one of them was a dinosaur Oh, okay Yeah Well, that's not exactly a war dedicated to dinos I mean, there were dinosaurs around

The Dinobots were I'm not mad at you I'm mad at, frankly, the executives In children's entertainment in the mid-'90s. Yeah, I mean, I wasn't allowed to make calls, so there would have been a lot more dinosaur-related entertainment. All right, favorite dinosaurs. What are they? Favorite dinosaur?

Gosh, that's a... I probably got to go Keith, probably. I like the Raptor. I'm also a Raptor fan. I like that the Raptor is cunning. Well, Raptor feels like a hack pick, but, I mean, it is probably the best dinosaur. There's a different kind of raptor. Yeah, it's like, why are the Yankees your favorite team?

Because they always win. You know what I mean? Yeah, they're the patriots of pack hunting. Yeah, check the scoreboard. The raptors are coming out on top every time. Exactly, yeah. There's actually a kind of raptor that's... I'm picturing a Bill Belichick raptor now.

Like a hat and a sweater. Quietly, like, putting one claw in a football. Yeah, that'd be pretty sick. There's another kind of raptor, not the velociraptor, but they're actually more like the velociraptors in Jurassic Park than actual velociraptors. I think the only reason they make it that raptor is it's name's like

psycholithopith... It's like a 40 fucking... It's named after some medication you were on. Yeah, exactly. Speaking of the Patriots, we're recording this before the Super Bowl, so congratulations to which group of America's worst white people is on fire right now. Yeah. Fucking hats off to you. Yeah, it was really the alien versus predator of just fucking fat dads.

I really, I was rooting for the Eagles, and then I heard one Eagles fan talk about it on stage, and I was just like, you know, I don't care anymore. Like, I was rooting for you guys i don't care anymore like i was rooting for you guys but this is so obnoxious i for some reason couldn't sleep last night and found myself watching like a list of all the best and worst halftime shows like ranked right for some reason and i was like why am i watching this yeah this is nothing i care about the best halftime show is still dumb like uh you know what man? I watched Prince and Prince. Prince was good.

Michael Jackson was good. Yeah, Michael Jackson. I loved Lady Gaga. I hated that. I thought it was a lot of fun. I just thought it was boring. She's a cone-titty one, right? You're thinking Madonna.

Okay, I guess it is Madonna. Which is basically Lady Gaga. So yeah, you're kind of right. Yeah, there's cone-titty and meat pants. Yeah, meat pants is Lady Gaga. Cone-titty and meat pants is what people call me in Conner. I was going to say Meat Pants is your nickname on the paintball team. Yo, Meat Pants.

Meat Pants, watch your six. Yeah, fucking Beef Pockets over here can't reload his thing. We use gun. That's what it's called. Yeah, I never gave a shit about Prince, and then I watched that halftime show, and I was like, man, Prince had it. Dude, I watched that halftime show, I was like, man, Prince had it. Dude, I watched that halftime show and I still didn't give a fuck about Prince. I remember there was this...

They don't have to out-not give a shit to each other, but yeah, I get it. There was this... I forget because I'm a little older than you guys. Did you guys watch live when the Janet Jackson nipple slip thing happened? I don't think so. That was like World War III for televised nudity. This was like a pre-9-11 world when things like that mattered. Oh, I remember it happening i didn't i wasn't there

i remember seeing it happen but whoa and i remember fucking like for five years after that they were just putting up old like rock bands so they were like there will definitely be no nudity or sexual fun oh yeah yeah yeah she's like we're bringing in the who no one for the who is taking their dick out kenny chesney oh god Buttoned that flannel all the way up. I remember I watched The Who when they did it. I was at work, and somebody literally, without being ironic, walked by and goes, who are these old dudes just playing a compilation of CSI-themed songs? And I laughed my fucking nuts off, because they weren't wrong.

Every song they played was a theme song for a different CSI. Was that at the Queen Mary? No, that was when I worked at Disney. Oh, okay. Yeah, man, fucking. Tom Petty, I remember being pretty good. Tom Petty was pretty good. Springsteen wasn't bad. I don't give a fuck. the queen mary what's up no that's when i worked at disney oh okay yeah man fucking tom petty i remember being pretty good i think it was pretty good springsteen wasn't bad i don't i i don't give a fuck i love watching paul mccartney do anything i thought like good for you you fucking you never

you know you never molested anybody all right your wife died and the other one was a bitch and you know fucking good for you man the only one i've ever been blown away by was bruno i think it was bruno mars oh yeah like his fucking i just like, dude can move his feet. I was so blown away. Yeah, that Michael Jackson one, you're like, I don't even think this dancing is cool, but he's really good at it. Yeah. I remember the Bruce Springsteen one really well, not because it was that good, but because when I was watching it, I burned my fingerprints off by accident. What?

I went off the grid watching it. I was born to run i was i was living with this dude nana heim this like straight up tweaker i met off craigslist and he we were like smoking weed he was doing that thing where you like you have a blow torch and you like super heat the bowl so it i don't know is weed harder i don't understand yeah why you do these but i like was sort of absent-mindedly like watching him like hit the pipe and do that i'm watching burr springsteen and then i reach over and grab it not thinking oh he's been holding a blowtorch to that glass for about three minutes it's gonna be a little spicy and just all three of like the fingers that

i grabbed it with just immediately just just like god straight i had to like hold a bottle of ice for two days the only thing that kept me from being in blinding pain yeah dude fucking finger burns and no joke then it sucked a bag of fuck. Hell yeah. We were catching up on all the Mean Boys news around the web outside before we started recording. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you listen to... Yeah, shout out to GizTown. Yeah, if you listen...

Giztopia, yeah. Well, no, here's what happened. Someone made a Mean Boys subreddit, and I didn't make it. And this dude, somebody made it, and someone was like, Hey, I'm trying to do something with it and make a bot or whatever and he's like can you make me a moderator so i went and i made him a moderator and i was like i wonder if anyone's ever posted about mean boys on reddit and so i was like i'll just search mean boys and like scroll scroll scroll there's only two posts about it both in the cumtown subreddit where they're just like i don't know this shit seems gay man this probably sucks yeah i like tim dylan but i mean i don't

know yeah sure we do lack the uh the artistic depth of inspector faggot but you know hey they can't all be winners sorry gang i was kind of bummed out i do like the show but i mean yeah i like come down to i've never listened yeah but i just uh i'm not surprised that i mean i'm sure our fans would hate everything too so yeah that's i feel like we have like a more optimistic blend of like nihilists than we probably split the difference between them and This Is Rad. Yeah, well, we did. Yeah, that's another one.

Somebody wrote an open letter to This Is Rad about my appearance. I told you guys we were going to get some negative presses here. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Nostradamus strikes again. Nostradamus. That's like a Red foreman fucking roast. Yeah, it worked.

Yeah, it truly did. It was accurate. Shit. So I would like to apologize to the Yu-Gi-Oh! community, for those of you who may have offended. I got a little bit angry when I was discussing Insectors and my experience on the local competitive Yu-Gi-Oh! scene. And I'm undergoing sensitivity training, and I hope this never happens again. You can't call them insectors. It's African-American sectors.

It's an archetype, Keith! You can maybe say insect-ers, but I don't know. That's the only hope he's here. Can I say wind-sectors? Hey! Walk it, hey. Walk, walk, walk it. Fucking, where do you go for your outdated yugioh slurs you come

to the mean boys all right hometown doesn't have that yeah yeah rivalries i'm not starting to rivalry with them they're fucking their p i mean they will destroy us and maybe like send a bomb to our house oh not even them but oh their fans frighten me oh yeah they're scared i mean we're i mean for us it's like the whole thomas jefferson slave analogy like holding the dog is like i love you people but you scare the shit out of me you know yeah fucking yeah i'm just like i'm glad you're on our side you just mail us knives by the way we should give a big shout out to caleb terry thank you for the yeezys man yeah i made an unboxing video i'll probably post it in the patreon uh

just so you can see our reactions but single most comfortable fucking show i've ever worn in my life it's fucking puts a spring in my step i wore them at a big show the other night i fucking loved having them on i fucking i'm so i i every time i look at them i'm happy so i really appreciate it you give keith a louis vuitton wallet super swanky world's classiest dbt holder i immediately sold it i just i'm not gonna lie i posted about it on facebook too and caleb if you listening, I really appreciate you sending me that. The truth is, nothing about my aesthetic supports having something that nice. I was going to let you see it. I was looking at you, and I was just playing it cool, seeing if you wanted to play it off and act like you still had it.

No, because here's the thing. I sold it to a big, fat, gay cokehead who, like, he loves that he has it. I love that I got his $200. He bought me a cheeseburger out of the operation. Everything worked out the best it ever could have for anybody. That really was the best gift you could have given me. I'm not selling the knife. No, Tom got like a

homemade fucking Japanese suicide knife. Yeah, which of course I'm very I have just the collection of weapons predating guns that I have. It's fucking dope now. You got a sword in San Luis Obispo.

I gave you my old sword. You got a machete. You got a machete from my buddy Davey who listened to the show. Thank you, Davey. Who didn't want to drive to Florida with it when he moved to Florida. That seems like the place you would need a machete the most.

Yeah, the fucking rainforest of America. You fucking idiot. You abandoned your blade. I now have a Japanese suicide dagger. I know. You got four blades. We've literally got enough for almost everyone in the house

to have a weapon for the apocalypse. I'm the only person in the world who's going to have a collection of swords that was given to him. Like, everyone else has to go to, like, a fair... Maybe, like, a king who made an army surrender. I mean, like, Vanessa Gritten over on Unpops, people send her mustard, and it's like, I

would very rather have people fucking mail me knives and swords. I love mustard. All right, well, I'll take the knives. No, no, no, no. I love knives and swords and shit, too. God. Grenades, whatever you guys want to send my way. Knives, a little spicier, but they're still good.

Send us knives and mustard. Not besmirch. That sounds like an old economic argument. Like, you know, they say, are you going to make guns or butter? That's knives or mustard on the Mean Boys. Send your box of knives to the Mean Boys party pad. Yeah, man. So go, I don't know, fucking buy some injectors, send us some knives,

pop on over to the Comptown subreddit and, you know. Defend our honor. Defend our honor. And immediately get called a cuck. No, here's the thing if people go defend us on there it'll make us look lamer i think you know they'll be like oh okay yeah you guys good and then they're just gonna gang up on them and our fans we're a sensitive bunch i really go on don't do that to you go on the comedown subreddit and just keep posting about

how shitty we are i just want to i agree i want us to become the enemy of not the show but of their fans but also like just have like a publicity department working. Oh, yeah, for sure. I'm absolutely on board with that. Just go fucking just be like, oh, my God, these guys. I want to be funny. Hated in combination. Oh, these guys are Thomas.

Yeah, these guys are fucking afraid. Let's try. I haven't even endorsed socialism. These guys suck. It's like they don't even have things to say about expensive electronics. That would be pretty funny. Yeah. And then anyway uh fuck dude i fucking i i'm never googling our fucking podcast ever again i don't know why i did that to myself it's just gonna break your heart well i wasn't even that upset it was mostly funny i'm just like oh god i forget i

forget that people can hear this shit sometimes yeah i forget that too yeah i get a tweet from a guy who's like, he was like, why does this guy know what maladies I had in ninth grade? Oh, that's right. I fucking have a podcast. He wants people to tweet me shit all the fucking time, referencing the episode I just did, and I have no idea what they're talking about.

The funniest thing about Tom is Tom has like 500 followers, but gets way more shit than people with like five times as many followers just because of the memos, guys. Thank you for everyone tweeting, Tom. That is why. Don't stop ever. Yeah. And that is knives.

Yeah. That, my friends, that is why. I retweeted like the first 23 people who did it, and I'm done retweeting. It's been two weeks. Don't let up on him. If you all do it. You can still tweet it. It doesn't bug me.

He'll retweet it if you do it enough. I'm just letting you know that is why I didn't retweet you guys. No, don't try and take ownership. It is mine. No, you're like when some asshole goes viral looking at a double rainbow and then tries to, like, market his own T-shirts based on it. Like, I meant to be funny. It's like, no, shut up and be mocked.

No, Tom. Not in general, just in this case. What, do you want me to just go sit in the corner and hit myself? Like, yeah, I said the fucking thing. I'm owning it, baby. I'll wear this dunce cap sideways. I don't give a fuck. I'll wear it on my face like a horn.

I'll wear this dunce cap sideways. I'll put that on your fucking tombstone, Tom. He's just summed up your whole essence better than anyone ever has. Dude, that's so funny. All right, that was a nice, long, spicy intro. Everybody's all fired up, ready to go. Let's get into the Mexican joke. Hell yeah.

I will go first this week. Oh, okay. A huge surge in child molestation is occurring in India. Fun fact, in India, a child rapist is called a diaper genie. That was very good. That was what I was telling you about last night where I'm like, ah, it's reference. It's not going to play in this room.

Somebody listening enjoyed that. What is a diaper? Hey, what's up, Pat Parker? It's a device that gives you diapers. You know where you get wet wipes? Like one of those, but with diapers on it. Sure, okay. A 12-year-old girl opened fire in a classroom.

The parents blame TV shows such as Bob the Killer, Blues Kills, and Dora the Exploder. Explode, explode. Are you glad you condescended to Keith? I'm always going to condescend. You put the least amount of work into those puns that you possibly could.

You used kill twice. It would have been funnier if you just realized that. What about Dora the Killer? Sesame Run These Streets. That's also bad. That is also a bad one. You just realized that. What about Sesame Run These Streets? What about that? Okay. That's also bad.

That is also a bad one. Yeah. I mean, I guess it's better than Bob the Killer. Can we kill him? I guess. Bob the Killer. Man, you get it? Yeah.

Yeah. Thank you. I shouldn't have even shat on you because a lot of these are ones I wrote in an Uber this morning driving off my rental car. But let's get into this. It's okay. I won't cod tocend to you either. Yeah, you will, you INTP son of a bitch. That's literally like the third thing it says about Tom and his Myers-Briggs.

You know what's hilarious? This is very condescending. I didn't realize I was condescending. You do it to be funny, and we're just playing the bit right now. Yeah, no, but I genuinely, like in general, I read the thing with my girlfriend, and I was like, I'm not condescending. She's like, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, you do it as a bit, and it's very annoying because when you are right, it's just like, oh, God, I was wrong because of Tom. Also, thank you for all the people who have tweeted out things they've shit me on for being wrong about that I'm actually right about.

Porous Pants was, I think, the most recent. Never do that. Never validate. Even if he's right. Feel their shame right now, okay? Bring that to them. Every time you feel the urge to compliment Tom, go and treat yourself to a nice Florida orange.

I think that's a good policy. Every time you feel the urge to compliment Tom, listen to that joke he just told. Make it your ringtone. Just remind yourself. All right, we've built up so much bomb karma, we are not going to do any well today. Oh, absolutely.

Any well. Any well. Jesus, Keith, you fucking idiot. I know, we've built up so much bomb karma, we are not going to do any well today. Oh, absolutely. Any well. God. Any well. Jesus, Keith, you fucking idiot. God. I know, you guys are good talkers. No, like me, a guy who accidentally was correct about cookware six months ago. He needs to brag about it all the time.

All right, gang. Just one of the most recent. Felons will be allowed to vote in Florida now. This brings Florida's population of voters approximately to 7 billion people. I accidentally, I wrote that wrong, and I had to add some of the words on the fly, so that's why it was syntactically nice. Oh, no, I thought it was good. I get it.

Okay, good. Tom thought it was, I have Tom proofread everything, and if he finds a lot of mistakes, I know it's perfect. Yeah. A theater in New York is offering pet-friendly screenings of films starring dogs. These include Must Love Dogs, Best in Show, and any bullshit with Melissa McCarthy in it. Oh, man.

That's something that's like... You doing that joke is like when Opie says the N-word. You're only allowed to do that. Yeah. I cannot do that joke in good conscience. What, because he watches Dogs Fuck? God damn it! Hey, Tom, have you ever heard the story about...

I'm still getting... That's my that is why. I just get people... Yours is just you said words funny. Mine is, hey, remember when you watched a video of a crime against an animal? That's pretty... Me, just people tweet me pictures of... And maybe against a lady.

She didn't seem stoked. Yeah, I like when people just send me pictures of soup. That's pretty funny. Yeah. By the way, I'm sure we'll have plugged it in the intro. Once we hit 250 iTunes reviews, I will eat a bowl of soup on there. Bum, bum, bum. So, guys, get those in.

And here's the thing. I will have a barf bucket. It's very likely that I will throw up. And we're going to film the whole thing. Leave in your iTunes review the type of soup you would like him to eat. Oh, man. I guess, yeah, I've got to democratize this. Yeah, we'll consider your guys' votes in choosing a soup.

We will, yeah. And, again, I really think it'size this. Yeah, we'll consider your guys' votes in choosing a soup. We will, yeah. And again, I really think it's great that I'm having open letters written about me when I am literally so autistic I can't eat soup without wanting to vomit. Thomas, your joke. Children are still eating Tide Pods. Finally, a generation teaching themselves not to swear. Am I right? Am I right?

It's a death toll's rising. Oh, yeah, they're washing the mouse out of. Am I right? Death tolls rise. Oh, yeah, they're washing the mouse out of itself. That was cute. That was cute. It was cute. Good on you, Generation Z. Anyway. Is that a generation?

Yeah. Yeah, that's what the one after us is called. Oh, they named it finally. When did they do that? Gen X, Gen Y, Millennials, Gen Z. When did that become official? I don't know. I think the Generation Pope decreed it last week.

I don't know, Tom. Generation pope. I like that. Generation pope. I don't know. It's a pope for a new generation. The time president is... It's a pope on rollerblades.

That would be significant. It's a pope with a fidget spinner. Pontimax. All right, guys. Zuma Thurman is detailed her assault by Harvey Weinstein. She described the experience as totally brutal and weirdly preceded by a weird conversation about Superman. Again, I could have made those words a lot in the same direction. Did you read the thing about her and Tarantino?

No, but I heard it was bad. I just saw Tarantino was there and I was like okay so basically when they were making Kill Bill you know that scene in Kill Bill 2 at the beginning when she's driving the convertible and she gives that whole monologue where she's like now I'm gonna kill Bill because that's what the movie's called yeah yeah yeah yeah I guess she didn't know how to drive that car and like one of the teamsters was like hey this car is like straight up unsafe for you to drive you're not like a professional driver and Tarantino was like no you're gonna do it because fuck you I'm quitting Tarantino and you have to make sure you're going 40 a professional driver. And Tarantino was like, no, you're going to do it because fuck you, I'm quitting Tarantino.

And you have to make sure you're going 40 miles an hour. Your hair's not going to blow, right? And so she did it. She's driving, loses control of the car, flies off the road, fucking explodes the car into a palm tree. Got put in a neck brace and shit. Got a concussion.

No way. Yeah, just straight up wrecked that car. And then his next movie was fucking death proof. Not since Louis made that episode about jerking off in front of or blocking the door for a lady has somebody really called their own shot what's important to remember here is that quentin tarantino sleeps in a bed shaped like a foot all right a dinosaur foot i gotta be honest i was reading that and i'm like what he did was shitty but i'm just like please don't let the next paragraph be where he raped somebody because like i still need to be able to

kind of like him yeah i mean i i don I don't know. That's pretty fucked up. It is pretty fucked up. And here's the good news is that gives me carte blanche to steal all his movies now. What food is carte blanche? That is not a food. Are you doing a bit?

I hope you're doing a bit. You don't never know. It's like that Willie... Pop-Tart blanche. It's like one of those, you know, Willy Wonka and that little steamboat and you never know when the bit is ending. You're thinking of Pop-Tart Blanche. It's like one of those, you know, Willy Wonka and that little steamboat. And you never know when the bit is ending.

Tom, you just turned into fucking like Psych Ward Boom Howler. You're just like, hey, Willy Wonka, baby, you never know. Dingle, dingle, pile that fucking polyps inside my arm. Ain't gonna take my pudding. Keep putting the fuck out of this. Dude, that's one of the better Keith laughs Where you get him to go full Mucinex Alright you guys ready for a really stupid joke? Yes

Intelligence officials say at least 50 ISIS fighters Have entered Italy The Italian government urges the public to remain calm And to not be fettuccine afraid of Oh man hey man you're the fucking we got the best podcast i don't know why come down doesn't love fettuccine affredo yeah this shit is solid if we we could win them over we just have to say the n-word a few times well i tried and we cut it out yeah we did that's on the black file we never recorded that that, though. Whoa, African-American file.

No, no, no. I'm thinking of a different time. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That got the old Conner Vito. Yeah, the Snark Week madness took hold. Okay, here's another dumb one. He says the M word immediately. A hunter was knocked out when a dead goose fell from the sky and hit him in the head.

After he was unable to run in a circle and catch his friend, he was put into the mush pot. Here's the thing. I knew 400% that was going to be a duck-duck-goose joke. There was such an easier one. I fucked up the one. Yeah, a goose fell on a hunter. I guess he should have duck-ducked. There you go.

There's the joke. I thought it was more clever and less uh less uh what's a potent uh accurate i just feel bad i looked at that headline for like three minutes and i was like i got nothing i really did is the mush pot like some house rule fucking no the mush pot is in every duck duck goose game i've never once heard of the mush you know mush right i've never seen tom so angry. The mush pot is an integral part of the most tallowed of games. Yeah, if you don't get caught, you go in the fucking mush pot. It's like when you lose Heads Up 7 Up, you go in the recycling bin. We're not fucking doing the rules of Duck, Duck, Goose on the podcast.

How dare you not besmirch the integrity of the mush pot? You guys, this is why Comptown doesn't think we're cool. We're literally talking about children. I don't care about Comptown. I care the mush pot. You guys, this is why Comptown doesn't think we're cool. We're literally talking about children. I don't care about cum. I care about mush pots. Why are you playing Duck, Duck, Goose at the psych ward

because I feel like the mush pot might have just been some sort of treatment facility. We're not allowed to touch each other at the psych ward. Or run or really have,

you know, play games. I mean, we can play Scrabble but not competitively. We gotta stop this mush pot talk. We said we wouldn't make fun of Keith's mom's vagina anymore. Am I right, guys? Whoa, it's a pot full of mush.

I think your mom's cute, Keith. Gross. It's way worse, dude. Here's the thing. You can call her hot. Don't ever call my mother cute. That's so weird. My mom is not cute. My mom looks like something that fucks at a truck stop. Don't condescend to my mom's well-worn

vagina. Your mother is haunting. I say that with all sincerity. She's a charming ghoul. Yeah, she does look like a fallout, like fucking... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I forget what those guys are called. Are they just called ghouls? That sounds about right.

Or fucking fiends or some shit? Yeah. I don't know. Fuck it. Don't tweet me about it, you nerds. Anyway. Tweet him about it. I used to say she looks like the...

Did you ever play Left 4 Dead? Yes. Yeah, she looks like the witch zombie if it's shot at an Ed Hardy store. I didn't play a lot enough. That is exactly what it is. Hi, Mom. I know you're subscribed. Hey, what's up, Keith's mom?

Sorry I said all those true things about your pussy. I've been kind to it. Wait, what? Never mind. I've always been a friend to your vagina. I am not getting dad cucked by Tom. Dude, nothing. Nothing in any parallel universe is funnier than Tom fucking Keith's mom.

If we get to 500 iTunes reviews. And like them being in love. Oh, God, that's so much worse. I wanted to see if Tom was going to do claymation with me with the soup challenge, but I was like, claymation legitimately upsets Tom. Soup, I know, is perfectly edible. It's my issue, so I don't want to ask him to do that. We'll just both use the puke bucket.

But also, like, I've watched some claymation movies. I just have to look away for long periods of time and then kind of look, and then just kind of, you know, based off of, oh, is this a visual shot? So you can listen to, like, a claymation podcast. Yeah, no, it's the audio part of claymation. This podcast is actually in Claymation. Most people just don't know. That's why it's late so often.

I'm just picturing Tom being just clockwork orange with his eyes pried open watching, like, fucking the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer special from the 60s. Yeah, yeah. Ugh, fucking... He's just physically shuttered. Oh, it's just got non-flashbacks from the Christmas movie?

I'm sorry, buddy. No, no, no. I'm fine. It's just like... I know. It does suck. Anyway, Punxsutawney Phil the Groundhog predicts six more weeks of winter. In response, Keith Olverman has called him a climate change denier.

Because he said there's more winter and it's fucking too hot because of fucking carbon, I guess. Whose hedgehog was this? Every part of that sentence was wrong. And I know I say that a lot to you, but you're incorrect so often. Do you not know what Groundhog's Day is? No, I don't, but you said that there was a... Explain Groundhog Day to me, Tom.

Basically, if a groundhog... Oh, this is going to be fantastic. Has a shadow, then Christmas is later, something like that. Yeah, it's if the groundhog is a vampire, then there's no Christmas. Yeah, and if there's two groundhogs then the British are coming by sea. He's thinking of Paul Revere. Three groundhogs is a crowd

and four groundhogs is too many groundhogs. That's an LA Open, Mike. Yeah, it's the groundhog comes out of the cave. Four groundhogs is when you go see your family, Tom. The groundhog comes out of the cave because he's looking for the Chaos Emeralds. What is Chaos Emeralds from? Sonic the Hedgehog.

He called it a hedgehog earlier. Oh, gotcha. I thought he said hedgehog. That's why I was confused. Nope. You should speak more clearly. Tom, you should be right about something

besides fucking pans on accident. You sponge-headed goon. PETA is petitioning the creators of the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon to only have the turtles eat dairy-free pizza. Fans are outraged claiming they want to keep the cow in calabunga

and that is mexican joke offs for kids that's pretty fun dude what a fucking what a bitch move to be like um i mean it's just as good if you use like well what a weird i forget what my mom uses vegan cheese just think about that as like a television writer having to like put in like the weird piece of expositional dialogue. He's like, all right, we're not eating cheese anymore. Man, I'm not even going to be blowing farts down in the sewer. Thanks for this non-dairy pizza. This is like our lifestyle, but we're addressing it loudly for some reason. Yeah, like all fucking vegans.

That's super accurate. Yeah, that's a very good point. That's funny. Let's just give it April O'Neil. April O'Neil is already black. We're going for woke-ass Ninja Turtles. I know nothing of Ninja Turtles. It's dumb.

The Ninja Turtles are dumb. Hey, I'm all about representation. I said those turtles can go back to, I don't know. Turtle Africa? I was trying to think of a better pun, but yeah, that's where I was going. Gotcha. All right. A lot of strong contenders.

Turtle Africa? That's a way of the options here. We're not even through the first segment yet. Okay. Yeah, Tom. Yeah, Tom, I'll give you complete silence to ramp up for this perfectly constructed, completely factual joke. Everybody be quiet.

Tom has to say one sentence correctly. Here we go. A New York teacher is in trouble for stepping on black students to show them what slavery is like. Her next lesson was to apparently fuck a Native American student so he knows what smallpox was like when he got herpes. Herpes? Not an STD? Oh, wait. Yeah, no.

Wait, what? Smallpox is not an STD. Yes. Although you could probably get smallpox from fucking. I'm just looking. You know what? I'm looking to take this away from you, and I should have just let it fail on its own merits.

Not everything needs to be factual. Very smallpox from what Pocahontas told me. She got a little dick. Oh, who does? John Smith fucked her badly. That was the joke. It was fine. Is that a real thing from history? No, it's just a fun... I don't know all of historical dicks.

Oh, I thought you... What is that coffee table book you've been looking at? I am not a historical dick wizard. I don't have these facts just ready to go. Oh, Ben Franklin. Fucking elevator button when those get invented. I enjoyed that joke. Tight. Alright, guys. I got one kind of good one, and I'm saving it for the end.

So what do you guys want to hear about? India, something Tom already did a joke about, or Utah? Something Tom already did a joke about. Yeah, let's do that. All right. Four high school students were hospitalized after drinking cocktails mixed with detergent. No word yet on if the teens farted bubbles. That's always my big question. Mine was

cuter. Yeah. The Mexican cute-off is pretty... I'm killing it. I'll say that for nice ones. Between the herpes and the... I really gotta actually start writing these. Yeah. I think we are all slowly realizing, alright, we do have to kind of be funny. No, this

has been one of the better ones we've done, but that's not because of the jokes, really. We had one cowabunga thing that was pretty solid. How will I construct these jokes? I always just fuck it up anyway. Does it really matter? Why try to get better at anything?

I can't get better at reading out loud. I just want to get your mouth training wheels so you can just get them. Those are called braces. That's pretty good. See, that redeems me for two jokes. I'm going to get your mouth training wheels so you can get... Those are called braces. All right. That's pretty good. See, that redeems me for two jokes. All right.

You don't control the economy. I'm not giving you fucking portions. Gossip comics, baby. You mean gossipnomics, you horse's ass? I'll say it however I want. It's my goss. It's my made-up fucking field of social science. You're correcting me on the things I make up.

All right. Let's close Super Week. A teacher accidentally showed a school assembly hardcore gay pornography instead of the film Paddington. Said the teacher, quote, hey, they wanted to watch a pantsless bear eat jam. I'm going to show them a pantsless bear eating jam. Very good, sir. It was bad. I don't know.

I was just trying to be positive. This movie Paddington 2, like the sequel to it. Everyone's talking about it. It has like a 95% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. And I posted this on Facebook. I genuinely don't know if it's a good movie or if this is like some weird ironic boss baby bullshit where like everyone's just like it's so dumb to say it's good. I think it's actually probably like defensible. Yeah, well, I posted that and I got yelled at.

So I think it might be good. By the fucking Paddington mafia? Dude, we're in trouble with Comptown and Paddington fans? Dude, somebody was like, Paddington is a pro-immigrant piece of art. I'm like, get the fuck out of here. It's pro-immigrant? They have an immigration message? I mean, I'm sure there is, but also, like, shut up.

Bears don't migrate. Here's the thing. If you're an adult human and you're like, oh, I'm going to Paddington to teach the world of immigration, just accept that America didn't work out. Just accept that we had a good run for decency and it's time to let Rome burn. Like, Paddington's not going to save us. Dude, here's the thing. What's the oldest government that's still active on the face of the earth?

We're meant to be hunter-gatherers, guys. It should just be the mean boys killing buffalo and eating them by a campfire while they call each other gay. God, we would be such a good, like, apocalypse tribe. Yeah, because, again, Keith is in charge of negotiating the rates for fur trading. I have knives. And I can get stuff off of shelves. So boom, there we go. You're the hunter.

You're the recon. I'm the face of the operation. Yeah, that's pretty much it. Yeah. All right, Tom. You've scratched your chin, hoping that we're going to forget it's your turn to do a joke long enough. Don't rub your weird face clit. Stop that.

Face clit. I wish I had one. Let's take that again. Wow, you made it three syllables in. I didn't even make it through the second word. A Michigan, that's a hard word to say. You wrote it down. It's Michigan.

Not at all hard. It's a state of the union. I hear you, Detroit. A Michigan dog was notified it will be receiving $360 a week in unemployment from a Chinese restaurant he supposedly worked at. Geez, wouldn't want him as my chef. Talk about a doggy

dog situation. How do you notify a dog? You tell the dog, it's like you're getting $360 a month. Well, you give him that little squeak toy of the newspaper that we talked about last week. Oh, yeah. You give him a copy of the Special Times. Tom's newspaper of record.

Tom's squeaky rubber duck. I don't give a fuck. That joke was cute. He's a Michigan dog. I just pictured Michigan J. Frog, but he's a dog. Who's Michigan J. Frog? You don't remember Michigan J. Frog? He was that dancing frog from the Looney Tunes.

The Nazi? No. What? Like WB? Yeah, he became the WB mascot. The hello, my baby. Hello, my honey. Hello, my ragtime cat.

Yeah, but fucking liking Paddington's dumb. Who's the racist frog? Michigan J. Frog. That's Pepe the Frog. Oh, yeah. To a lesser extent, Michigan J. Michigan J. Frog. Chappelle did a whole bit about it, where Michigan J. Frog is just a minstrel show.

Yeah, that's pretty funny. Frogs. Fucking a lot of bad press for the frog community. Have you guys ever eaten frog? Yeah, I have. What did you think? It's pretty good. Yeah, I spent an hour with a French girl once.

Sure. I get frog legs when I go to the OC fairs. I don't think I'd ever eat it again, but I was like, this is good. It's like if a chicken and a fish fucked. Guys, for 7,000 iTunes reviews, I will be in the same room as a frog leg. All right, gang. A Harley Davidson plant shocked employees with mass layoffs and an unexpected closure. The CEO said the only thing more American than a motorcycle factory is people losing their manufacturing jobs.

That's what we're all about, baby. Vroom, vroom. Yeah, that was not really. No one loses jobs in Canada. Vroom, vroom. Yeah, that was not really. No one loses jobs in Canada. Thank you, Canada. You know, that wasn't funny. It was tepidly pop culture insightful. Yeah, but the Michigan dog joke is a problem.

I see your game. Again, a grading on the scale of real great amazing art to your friend's mom on Facebook. That was one above mom on Facebook. Yeah, that was a guy amazing art to, like, your friend's mom on Facebook. That was, like, one above mom on Facebook. Yeah, that was a guy you went to high school with. It was not in the alt-right, but it might as well be. I'll put my own jokes on my fridge. You don't have one of those. I do.

You have a mini-fridge. No, we bet you didn't have a joke. Here's the thing. You've got a mini-fridge, but you still have not written enough good jokes to cover it. And on that note, the Mean Boys podcast will be right back. You're watching ESPN. Not sure why. Maybe you're in a hotel or something, but whatever.

We now go live to our post-game coverage of Super Bowl 52, where Tom Brady is speaking to reporters. All right, I'll go ahead and answer some questions. Yeah, right over there. Frank Denkel, Associated Press. What was your thought process going into the fourth quarter? You know this team knows how to come back from behind, so we were confident that we could rally and win this thing.

Everybody gave it 110%. At the end of the day, Philadelphia just played a terrific ballgame. Next question. Gretchen Muff, Sports Illustrated. There's been a lot of speculation in the media that this might be your last season. Care to comment? I'm taking some time in the offseason to make that decision, so no comment at this point. Okay, you in the back.

Yeah, Mark Malloy, South Boston. I'm the guy that spray-painted no thank you on that mosque they were trying to build. My question is, have you always known you were a retarded faggot, or was that a revelation you made on the field today? I'm sorry? Follow-up question. Did the team physician hook you up to an oxygen tank after the game because you seem like you're breathing pretty good

for somebody who just choked for 15 minutes straight? Hey, man, I put in years of hard work for this organization. Oh, cry me a river, you poor fucking angel. You made fucking $20 million last year. You know how much cough syrup I could buy with that money? Almost enough. That's how much. And you want me to feel bad for you?

Listen, you cocksucker. Ever since they outlawed yelling the M when at school buses, football's all we got in Boston. We look the other way on you we had all right bullshit we look the other way on you make it out with your kid hey man that's uncalled for holy shit kid is that what happened did your kid tongue fuck the football out of you like he slurped your talent out in some kind of pedophile voodoo space jam situation can we get a question from somebody else here tell you what if that little goofball likes kissing so much, he can kiss his fucking trip to Disney World goodbye.

Listen, pal, do you want to do this outside? You and what fucking army, you cake muncher? You think I'm afraid of you? I fought my way out of a riot with nothing but a can of Pam and a broken Zippo. I will put you in a fucking body bag and send it to your boyfriend Richard Spencer's house. Take your best shot.

Hell, first one's free. It'll be nice to see you make something connect for a change. That doesn't even make sense. I threw for 500 yards. It's a fucking world record. I've been drinking nail polish remover since noon. I give a hot fuck about your math. I'm telling you, this is going to get physical.

Oh, I'm so scared. Why don't you give that dumb-dumb Gronk a ring and have him back you up? Oh, that's right. You tried to give him a ring and you fucked it up so bad they're having whatever kind of cheese whiz flap orgy Philadelphia calls a parade I won five Super Bowls Yeah, and I've got 40 warrants in various states

But it's like I told the judge All that matters is the one we're talking about today Last question I swear to God, bro, if you say one more thing about my kid My team, or the way I play You're gonna be sorry Easy, Tommy, I'm just busting your balls I'm tough on you because I love you

As a schlubby, lower class white man who's never accomplished anything that isn't technically a felony, you're basically my god. All respect. I'm serious. Okay. Okay, so last question. What does Giselle's butthole taste like? My cousin says peaches, but I got money on more of a boysenberry tang.

Alright, that's it. Gronk! Gronk smash! Holy fuck! Somebody quick, put this mongoloid in the hospital for the criminally dumb! And the Mean Boys podcast is back. I guess we're all making weird mouth sounds. We're doing a helicopter. We're doing a helicopter. Wait, what?

What? What is your helicopter? It's a horse helicopter. A helicopter? Yeah's a horse helicopter. A helicopter? Yeah, thank you. I'm so good at comedy, you guys. That guy on Reddit was right. We are the lamest.

We're playing a game. Look, if it makes us feel better, I never thought we were cool. I still loved each other. Shut up. We're cool. I had love for all three of, well, mostly you two. But also, I should have some for me. You sound like a Martian trying to deliver the last line of a sitcom.

Dude, Tom, you're bad at a lot of things. You are so good at interrupting me trying to do any kind of podcasting. You human monkey wrench. Like broadcasting work. It's like, all right, everybody. You know what the thing is about cans? You can't open them unless you have a can opener. And I think big can openers in bed with big cans.

I just don't know why they haven't marketed the can closer yet. I feel like that would be a good piece of equipment. Honestly, that would be a great piece of equipment. What if I don't finish my beans? Yeah. What, am I going to put them in a bag? Answer me that, tough guy. Yeah, I tried welding them back together, and then I got lead poisoning, and now I can

smell the future. Amber. All right, this game comes to us from one of our favorite listeners, Callie Velasquez. Callie. A Mean Boys early adopter, going, going to thank Callie, Callie, et cetera. Thank you for the game, Callie. This comes to us from her big Snark Week batch. If you guys have any games, anything you want to send in,

please fire them off over to MeanBoysPodcast at gmail.com or MeanBoysPodcast.com slash contact. It's time to play. Again, we haven't played in a while. One of my favorites, Is This Domain Name Taken? Isn't there a theme song with butts in the front of this? We do. We've gotten a lot of theme songs.

The best one is probably the one that doesn't make sense. Is this bacon? Fat butt shaking. Now it's time for is this the way taken yeah the guy has his weird like fucking like butter next like but still pubescent cracking voice hello i'm 14 and large yeah i don't remember i don't remember who said that to us but good looking out dog uh so we're gonna we're gonna take it away shakespeare sex.com taken not taken what do you amazing uh absolutely taken okay what is your logic uh because there's a lot of fucking in shakespeare and theater nerds that just sounds like something they'd jump all over oh i remember i had the fucking best conversation with my friend amy one time where uh i was like dude i don't want

to read twilight that shit looks dumb and she was like boys don't even realize by the time you get to the fourth book there's been like 50 sex scenes and i'm like yeah i also have a fucking computer amy yeah dumb bitch like i was just when it's like being enraged they're like yeah i want to read about vampire sex you idiot those books are fascinating if you ever want to read what like a mormon who's never fucked think sex might be like and that's pretty much how it's written. It's just like, and then the subtle boobs caressed my butt cheeks or whatever. It's clearly somebody who does not know how to fuck.

I've read excerpts. I know we're fucking around here. Real talk, I would like to have some boobs on my butt cheeks. I'm going to be real with you. I've had it happen before. It's pretty tight. That just seems neat. I just feel like they'd be like, ooh, these are two unexpected tastes that go great together. Is that called the undoggy style?

It's Michigan doggy style. Michigan doggy style. So yeah, you guys both think it's taken? I'm going to... You can shake a spear at it. I'm going to say it's not taken. It is taken, guys. Motherfucker. I don't know. I wonder. A lot of people just

buy these domains. To skeet or not to skeet. And do nothing with them. I want to see if there's actually a fucking nerd. I bet it's just like. Instead of black, do they just have Othello? Just an encyclopedia of all the Shakespeare fun. Oh, it just redirects to wn.com slash Shakespeare sex, which I don't know what that is exactly. Maybe it's sex scenes from. Oh, I is exactly. Maybe it's sex scenes from...

Oh, I think, yeah, it's sex scenes from Shakespeare plays. A Midsummer Night's Dream. I'm just giving Keith time to ramp up for these rhymes. I could do these forever. Number two, sexyalbinos.com. Taken or not taken?

There's just a picture of Nathan Hurd that says, get out of me, ladies. It says, I'm not in here don't worry Albino's seem like the kind of people Who need that kind of publicity If you're having an albino porn website And you're not calling it Fino Albino Then what are you doing

I didn't know The one sticking point is I don't know if they let albinos have credit cards yet I don't know if they're Well they can't do a retinal scan on them I like to imagine'm walking into a bank and a guy with a big stick is like not today buddy and he's like oh yeah come back when you can see your own reflection i think albinos are vampires that was a joke about leah kajani and i tried to get to work for months leading up to the taping was i just wanted to make it clear that i was confusing armenian culture and vampire lore i worked all the angles, guys.

It was all like, what if the cologne makes her melt because it's holy water? There's no fixing it. I tried to do a similar thing with Toby Miroshanu about Jews. Yeah, I've never written about vampires. Or Romanians, specifically. Yeah, well, I ended up doing that one version of the joke. But I wanted to do one where I just really had something about garlic or crosses or something. I was like, nah, it's not connecting.

Yeah, Tommy Goss, what do you think? Sexy Albano's taken or not taken? I say not taken. I'm going to go taken. Sexy like, nah, it's not connecting. Yeah. Tommy Gus, what do you think? SexyAlbinos, taken, not taken? I say not taken. I'm going to go taken. SexyAlbinos.com is not taken. Boom. So snap that up. Wow, yeah.

I wonder, what is that thing? Oh, yeah, Fart.Lawyer. Let me see if that still redirects to our site. I haven't looked at that in a while. Poor SexyAlbinos. I feel bad for him. Because for a while, it was a weird, big, meek, created fan site where my face was just blacked out and everything. That was kind of creepy.

Oh, yeah. It looks like this domain isn't connected to a website yet. Come on, man. What the fuck? Somebody pick up Fart Lawyer. What do we make all this amazing sub-cum-town content for you people for? It's more of a cum-verb. Alright, guys. Next one. BuildWall.ca.

Note the CA suffix is for Canada. Oh, so Canada wants to build a wall. Yeah, it's someone doing like an ironic like Bill Maher type fucking, we should build a wall between

us and Canada. Canada's great. What they wanted. God, Bill Maher's such a piece of shit. On the Alaska border maybe? Was it you who I was

talking about with like the Bill Maher billboards and what an insufferable prick he looks like on all of them? Oh, the America we need to talk once?

Dude, I've never wanted to throw a bottle at a building more than anything with his fat, correct-but-shut-up head just fucking plowed on it. Like, living in L.A., you just get fucking eye-fucked by all these obnoxious billboards all the time

where I'm just like, fucking why? The big YouTube red billboard by the comedy store that bugs the shit out of me that haunting monument to how irrelevant our art form became oh yeah for sure we're just like oh ty good for you here's an affable blonde child eating cheese puffs who has five billion subscribers so build wall.ca logan appalling is what it is dude we got to watch logan paul's fucking suicide

video i showed him the response to logan moment when the guy is talking about jumping off the bridge. They just pan to Logan Paul. Just, duh. Oh, God. And he's just like, am I looking serious enough? Oh, no. Was it you?

Was it you who pulled out the hair thing? I stand before you a chacha shamed. Nap by Mel pointed out that you could tell when Logan Paul's making a serious guy video because he brushes his hair downwards like it's sad. Oh, that's a good point. He flies his fucking thumb hair at half-mast. Man, I fucking love Logan Paul, dude. Shout out to the Logang.

All of you die. What are we doing? Buildwall.ca. Oh, that's real. I also think it's real. Keep Canada and French Canada separate. It's real. It's owned by a lesbian bookstore,

and both those ladies are good-hearted but obnoxious. You guys, buildwall.ca exists. Let me see what it is here. It is fucking just someone just bought the domain. Nah, I got to sit on that shit. People are lazy, man. All right, guys, next one, netnetnet.net. There is a certain level of...

Net, net, net, net, net, net. You do have to kind of disconnect your brain from your, like, spinal column to think of stupid domain names when you make this game. Because I'll just, like, be like, what can I do with boners? Boners.kids? Is that... Do they do a.kids? Fuck. Fuck.

What about abc.xyz? Is that... That's not funny. You know? It's tough. Net, net, net is very funny, though. Yeah. Can't afford. No can. Net, net, net, net, net about ABC.xyz? That's not funny. You know, it's tough. Net, net, net is very funny, though. Yeah, can't afford, no can. Net, net, net, net, net, net, Batman.

Tom. This one I'm real torn on. Torn up. You want to emphasize the wrong part of other phrases? Yeah, I'm really tornadoed about this. But the tornado is... Yeah, it takes really tornadoed about this. But the tornado is... It takes one to know one. It's really tortillating apart

my concept of realty. I'm going to say... It's me, the taco monster. Okay, goodbye. That is the second time today you've tried to do a Mexican accent and landed on Italian. Shut up, you. It's another real.

I love the dubstep. I love it. Keep the tags off the fucking show. Oh, I forgot. I forgot that's a new joke. God forbid anybody who listens to this show know you're actually pretty good at stand-up. So what do we think, guys?

Real, not real? I'm going to go not real. Net, net, net, net, net, net, net. No, just net, net, net, dot, net. Yeah, yeah, no, I got it. It was funny to say more. Net, net, net, net, net, net, net.net netnetnet.net no just netnetnet.net yeah I know I got it it was funny to say it more netnetnetnetnetnetnetnet there it is this is a racist website

I'm gonna say true it's taken nice I guess true technically means taken yeah I knew you meant man I know this net is true get the fuck out of here, Tom. You gotta stop what you're doing.

I love Spandau Ballet. You're straight up fired from the podcast, bro. Wait, what did you say? Spadu... I never know how to say that word. Spandau Ballet? That's not it. That's a net.

Nobody fucks with your nets. They do that gold song? That's Spandau Ballet. Oh, what was your thing? I thought it was Spadju or something like that. I never knew how to pronounce it. I don't know. Is that a boss from Spyro?

All three of us are having a different conversation about a thing we don't know about. You guys, this is what happens when the first part of the show is really good. I just stop listening to you guys and I just wait for a silence and I just go, oh, it's taken. They sing that song, True.

I know. Tom, I know the song. Okay, yeah, Tom. for a silence, and I just go, oh, it's taken. They sing that song, True. I know. Tom, I know the song. Okay, yeah, Tom. Spadju? I don't know. Tom, I don't know what you're talking about. Shut your fucking mouth. God, you are negative broadcasting.

No, Keith, let's really dig into this. Oh, my God. I know this love is true. Dude, this is mush pot revisited. Oh, yeah, I had to explain to Keith what a mush pot was. Yeah, it's your fucking brain. I don't know if you guys are ready to be mad. That is Spandau Ballet. Yeah, I know!

I thought they just did Gold, that song. Gold. The fuck is Gold? It's a Spandau Ballet song, dude. I don't know that I'm totally right. He just said Spajoo, the only music I could think of. Either he's trying to say spaghetti and really off the fucking reservation, or he meant Spandau Ballet. I didn't know how to pronounce Spandau. Also,

what is netnetnet.net? It's just a Time Warner fucking somebody bought this. I didn't know how to pronounce Spandau. Also, what is netnetnet.net? It's just a time warner. Fucking somebody bought this domain and didn't do anything with the website. Yeah, pussies. Yeah, you don't have the bravery to stand up to people next. You don't have the nets.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Say no to Big Net. Buttplug.shop. Buttplug.what? Shop. Chop? Shop. Shop.

Shop. Shop? Shop up. Oh, my God. It's from our new two-man comedy show, Who's In First. Oh, yeah. I got it. It's like butt plugs go in.

God, we're real vaudevilly today. I know. It's real quick and sassy. Why, you? So I'm genuinely asking to clarify. It's shop. And with an. Why you? I'm genuinely asking to clarify. It's shop. With an S-H? Chop.

Shop. Chop. Shop. Shop. Shop. Chop. Shop. Stop.

I'm sorry. I'm the annoying one on this show? Yeah. It's fun when we do it. Yeah. And then you. Shut up, plop. Chop, chop, and plop.

The Mean Boys. Chop, chop, and plop. Terrible things to do during a fire. Again, sometimes I do remember like, oh, man, I forgot weop. The Mean Boys. Chop, chop, and plop. Terrible things to do during a fire. Again, sometimes I do remember like, oh, man, I forgot we called this shit Mean Boys. Real. Real? What do you think, Keith? Someone's shopping for butt plugs.

Yeah, it's got to be real. Shopping for butt plugs. Buttplugs.shop is, in fact, real. Yeah. Can you shop for butt plugs there? I don't know. Let's take a gander. Yes, ask Gander.

You know, everything's going well in my life. The keys on my keyboard only work about 70% of the time. So it takes me real, real... Oh, welcome to butt plug. Oh, it just redirects you to buttplug.com. Yeah. The best site for butt movies. Oh, it's not even butt plugs.

This guy's like a plug for butts. What? Like when you say, I got the plug, you know, if you're talking about... Sorry, guys. Your recorder cut off. Moving on. Clit.website. Dot website feels so lazy. Yeah, what a... Who is that for? That's like an old

lady... What? Dot website? Yes, sir. I went to google.bing backslash the computer forward slash interweb. Uh... Shit. I'd be confused with Chandler.bing which is my domain.

I will be updating soon. Chandler.bing Could there be any faster results? What? It was a friend's reference. Don't worry. Could I?

It was a reference to any pop cultural thing in the past 30 years. I don't expect you to comprehend what it is. I'm sorry. It's not a Spajoo. It's not a Spajoo ballerina song.

What are they called? Fucking spaghetti opera? Yeah. Click that website. I'm going to say is not taken. I was leaning towards not taken, but I'm a part of the counterculture. I got to go taken. You're part of the over-the-counter culture.

Keep stuttering. It's a sandwich counter. Yeah, dude. You're part of the over-the-counter culture. Keep stuttering. It's a sandwich counter. Yeah, dude. You fucking love sandwiches, bro. Who doesn't like sandwiches? I realize I couldn't even call you a meaty bitch. Fucking vegetarian. Alright, whatever, you peanut butter n-word. Yeah, Tom, you're

fat without consuming flesh. George Washington Carver. Congratulations. Did you say George Washington Carver? No, but that would have been funnier. Yeah, Carver, like he's carving up, I don't know, fucking tofu. Sure, why not? No, it's because I called him Peanut Butter Edward

and that's the guy who invented peanut butter. Yeah, Carver was his actual last name, Connor. I know, Tom. Hang on. Do you know we're not talking about George Washington? We're talking about the guy, the black man who invented peanut butter. I learned this from American Dad episode.

Oh, you fucking idiot. We're talking about the black man who invented peanut butter. I learned this from American Dad episode. That is not taken. Meanboys.edu Are you a grandma that just found an earring that she thought she got? Dot edu. What was that laugh you did earlier? That you made for real with your face in a moment of joy?

Alright, dude. Now you just sound like a fucking ghost Pokemon. Okay. You slutty Gengar. God, that is who I am. That is exactly what you are, bro. What's up? I'm stocky and ready to fuck.

I mean, you go through walls, but there's not as much transmogrification going on. Is that the right word? Who could care? I got it. Transmogrification? What did you say? I dare you to spell what he just said. I don't think what he said was a thing.

Transmogrification? That's not what he... That's a different thing. I think, and I'm being sincere here, that I'm referring to something from a Calvin and Hobbes comic. Transmogrifier. I think transmogrifier is a word, too. Really? Yeah.

We don't have to look it up. It doesn't matter. Did you guys know Bill Watterson drew three panels of Pearls Before Swine? Really? Yeah, and the joke was that he's- I don't know that he listened. Don't worry about it. He made Calvin and Hobbes.

You know Calvin and Hobbes? It's a cat, right? He hates Mondays? Yeah. Are you doing a cat, right? He hates Mondays? Yeah. Are you doing a bit, Tom? No. You nodded and you said no. I'm just kidding.

You fucking... Just be honest with me. If you thought that Calvin and Hobbes was Garfield. I like you guys not being able to tell sometimes. Well, I like it on the podcast. It gets annoying off the podcast. I was doing a bit. Okay.

Yeah. Thank you. Okay. Because if you weren podcast. I was doing a bit. Okay. Yeah. Thank you. Okay. Because if you weren't. I'm such a convincing dumbass. Wow, man. Well, that's going into the theme song. But no, I do.

Don't say it like you have control over it all the time. I have. Okay. On rare occasion, I don't have control over it. Rare? You want to say rare? Yes, rare. I think I'll say more often than not, you have control over it. Rare? You want to say rare? Yes, rare. I think...

I'll say more often than not, you have control of it. I'd say like 85% of the time. I would say like 70%. So I'll... Well, I think that's... We'll split the difference at 90%. Mean Boys is not taken. Tom, is it taken or not taken?

I'm going to say not taken. What do emos have to do with this? They're bad birds. It's with an M, dumbass. It's taken. Really? Yeah, someone is just squatting on it. She wrote that in the spreadsheet.

All right, and finally, how much is this domain name worth? We've got a couple options to choose from here. Hillaryclinton.sex. How much is that? How much is it worth? Yeah. How much is that going for? Oh, God.

This is always the hardest one because I really have no reference for what they cost. About 50 emails. I got the joke you were trying to make. Yeah, dude. Locker up.

Locker. Oh, never mind. Tape. That's how Tom checks the mice. Much to everybody's fucking chagrin. There's only three of us. And 33% of this podcast loves it. Well, it's never been on the show.

Oh, yes. Yeah, I guess you are 33%. Yes. I think Mean Boys. God damn it. Hillary Clinton.sex is $500. Tommy Goss. I'm.sex is $500. Tommy Goss. I'm going to go $800.

$129.99. Damn! A bargain at twice the price, if you ask me. Nicely done. Yeah, $130 to fucking have that be my website. I want to do that for when I do other podcasts, because my name is hard to spell. I want to get one that redirects to mine. So I might buy one.

It's something stupid. Actually, I would. Part.law i would i heard that lawyer is already the big meek snapped it up i would love that jizz.biz is the one that's jizz.biz is so much money i'm so devastated because i was like oh man how much is jizz.biz currently worth it is like this is like checking cryptocurrency it is an unaffordable amount and i really think that i could be like a huge like fucking tube side if i could get a team behind it. Oh, it's taken. Somebody snapped it up. Probably from my recommendation.

Shit. It was free for a while. I tweeted about it. I'll find the screen cap right now if you guys vamp a little bit. I know exactly. We need to reach out to the owner of Jizz. If you are listening to the show and you're the owner of Jizz. Which actually seems plausible. Reach out to us. this show and you're the owner of jizz.biz, which actually seems plausible,

reach out to us. Let's make something happen. It was $1,329. So it was $1,300, which is honestly less than I remember it being. I mean, that's unaffordable for us. If this person's using it for something, then I'm... Oh, it's just a weird spam, getting ad clicks for, like,

sex dating, adult dating. Well, I think I've been redirected to that. We can find a way to just do a really funny spam page. That would be fun. We should hit them up and just for like, oh, sex dating, adult dating. Well, I think I've been redirected to that. We can find a way to just do a really funny spam page. That would be fun. We should hit them up and just be like, hey, can we just piggyback some marketing? Oh, we gotta create the Tom Whitinground virus. What? No, you want to ruin people's computers

and commit a felony is what you're describing. Alright, I'm gonna look up who it is. It's illegal to hijack and destroy someone's computer? Yes. What happened to America? Okay, yeah, this guy lives in Arizona. Oh, we found the owner of Jizz.biz? Yeah, I did a Whois search.

I won't say his name just because that seems rude, but I do have his phone number listed here, and I will be reaching out to him. We are calling this man on the air. Maybe, yeah. I think that's the place to do it. You can speak to our lawyer. Oh, dude, it expires pretty soon. I get to to our lawyer. Oh, dude, it expires pretty soon.

I get to be the lawyer. Yeah, I know. It expires at the end of this year. You know what? We'll look into this. Yeah. But in the meantime, we'll be right back with something else. The Mean Boys Podcast is brought to you by Sudio Headphones.

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Hey, everybody. The Mean Boys podcast returns to play a round of our favorite game, which of the following? Woo! Woo! What song do you think you're doing? It's an Eminem song Guess who's back That's not the song Tom is fat

Fat, fat, has no friends Sorry, it just rhymed Well, it's also true But the main thing was that it rhymed. This game comes to us. When you just stare with that glazed silence. No, I know. People, I mean, I get it when people are like, whoa, because I forget that I just have this

children of the corn ass look. Yeah. I'm just like, I don't know. I look like I've never cared about anything anyone's ever told me. You do look like straight up evil. Like,

as hack as it is to call any like awkward looking white dude a school shooter, no one has ever looked more like a school shooter than Conor McSpadden. Yeah,

I just, I don't know. It takes a lot of effort for me to, I don't like, I don't really. Find the bullets. I know.

I mean, Michael Moore really fucked me with that whole bowling for Columbine stunt. I should drive three counties over to hit a Walmart. Now you're bowling for soup. Oh, yeah, that's right.

Oh, true movies. 350 reviews, guys. What the fuck was I just going to say? Everyone ran out of steam. But not Cole. No, I just don't emote naturally is what I was going to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get that.

You're used to it. It's where I have to like, you know. You got RBF'd, dude. I get my girlfriend or whatever. I'm just like, yeah. And I'm like, even if I am happy, I'm going to be like, I get that. To where I have to like, you know, You got RBF'd, dude. Like my girlfriend or whatever, I'm just like, yeah. And I'm like, even if I am happy, I gotta be like, eh. Yeah, I can always tell when you're cranking that on a little bit. It's kind of funny to see. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And Keith knows, but yeah. Well, yeah, you have your friendly guy voice where you go, Oh, hey, dude, super high-pitched voice. And it's like, I'm not even on it. It's like you put a capo on your soul and fucking jumped it up a key. Dude, that's exactly what it is. I'm not even an unfriendly person, really. You're not a dick.

You just seem like a dick. Yeah, I mean, I know that if I just meet someone, you kind of got to be like, oh, neat. As opposed to when I'm just like, all right, and? Continue. Amuse me, clown. You guys knock on my door. I'm just like, what? I'm Jack.

I can tell by your what whether you're ready to party talking to your girlfriend or straight up jacking off well if i'm jacking off i'll just say i'm jacking off well here's the thing it's like when i say come in i gotta say come in five times before you come in but when i say i'm jacking off you think i said come in one time that happened i think it happened a couple times maybe it was on maybe it was someone else yeah but uh yeah. Well, no one has ever actually seen, like, dick in hand? I didn't even see anything. I opened the door

and you just went, you exploded like a cartoon character fighting with his wife. I was annoyed. I was like, I gotta make, like, a lot of some kind of noise right now to indicate that this is not okay. Like an animal indicating threat. Like, it was perfect.

You honked like a goose? Like a cum goose? I mean little cum goose. That sounds like a thing. Anyway, this game, fuck, I just opened it back up. Fly away bone. I forgot who wrote it. This one comes to us from Dark Homunculus.

Dark Homunculus? Dark underscore Homunculus on Twitter. Is it the underscore or does he say underscore? dark homunculus uh dark homunculus dark underscore homunculus on twitter thanks honk monculus is it the underscore or does he say underscore he wrote up the word underscore tom you know you know it's an underscore i'm just i'm just trying to clarify what does dark dark harmonica say we already did the ikea which are the Fallen. What does Shark Papadopoulos have to say about this episode? This one is, Witch of the Fallen is not a celebrity birth name. So let's get right into it.

A, Michael Caine, born Maurice Micklewhite. B, Michelle Pfeiffer, born Amanda Lee Rogers. C, Rock Hudson, born Leroy Harold Scherer Jr. Who is Rock Hudson? Or D, Alan Alda, born Alfonso D'Abruzzo. Who are the last two? Wait, okay, so Rock Hudson was a movie star in the 50s. I just remembered, I haven't taken my Zoloft in like two days.

I'm like, oh, I'm having brain zaps. Yeah, oh, jeez. I feel you. Rock Hudson was a movie star in the 50s who was like a ladies' man. Every woman wanted him, and he never got married because he was gay as fuck. He was like secret gay. I think he might. No, he didn't get AIDS, but he died of some sort of gay-itis.

What are, like, Brock Hugs, man? Can you real quick run them by me one more time? Michael Caine, born Maurice McElwhite. Michelle Pfeiffer, born Amanda Lee Rogers. Rock Hudson, born Leroy Harold Scherer Jr. Or Alan Alda, born Alfonso D'Abruzzo. Who is Alan Alda? Fucking D'Abruzzo. Alan Alda was the main guy on MASH.? Who is Alan Alda? Fucking Diabruzzo.

Alan Alda was the main guy on MASH. I didn't see that. Okay, well, I can't help you. He's like an old liberal guy. Yeah, you know that guy that's Alan Alda? He's Alan Alda. Latino? He was in...

First of all, never, ever, ever say Latino that way again. Latino? Latino. Latino. You don't have to say it with a question mark on it. It doesn't make you sound Mexican. I'm asking a question. Latino? That to say it with a question mark on it. It doesn't make you sound Mexican. I'm asking a question. That's why there's a question mark on it.

You see him with tinks. I forgot about the tinks. My favorite Pokemon. The joke I've done, I don't know how many times on this podcast. Wasn't he in Horace and Pete? Eleanor? Yeah. Oh, yeah, he was.

I didn't see it, but I know he was in it. I watched an episode, and I was like, I don't get it. Yeah. I don't want to look at this, but you're making me look at it. Right, guys? Yeah. Come on. Sex crimes.

I'm going to say Maurice McElwain. We've both done an incredibly unoriginal joke just now, so I feel better. B. B is my guess. I'm going to go D. All right, Tom, what is D? The not Latino guy. Technically correct, but also shut up. The answer, Michelle Pfeiffer, B.

Good job, Keith. Portia de Rossi was born a man of Lee Rogers. Oh. I actually don't know who Michelle Pfeiffer is either, but I know. You're not going to know who any of these humans are? She's the broad that made all the pills that made me this way. Michelle Pfeiffer was Catwoman in Bad Returns. No, that's Pfizer.

Oh. Yeah. I still don't really remember. Okay, well, you know the woman who was a cat? Yeah, I don't remember. There you go, champ. You know that scene where it's basically your life, but if she started doing open mics instead of becoming a cat that fights crime?

I don't remember that scene. I'll show it to you, and it's very funny. As indicated by Keith's raucous skaphos. That's such a good reference, dude. Round number two, all mistaken. Really quick, point of order with Catwoman. She has that awesome, like, hello there sign. Point of order with Catwoman.

I don't know why other podcast fans take the show so well. And it breaks, and it turns into hell here. I hooked up with the dude one time, and he had that sign, and it was designed to flicker, so it turned into hell here. What does it say originally? It says hello there, and then when she breaks, and it was designed to flicker, so it turned into hell here. What does it say originally? It says hello there, and then when she breaks it, the O and the T break, so it says hell here. And he had that sign in his house broken like that, and it was like, that's the fucking

coolest thing I've ever seen. I was driving up from Fullerton today, and I drove past an El Pollo Loco, and I was like, I've got to do a sketch where it's hell Pollo Loco. That's how out of ideas we are. Flame broiled. Round two, all mistaken identity edition. A, Albert Brooks, born Albert Einstein. B, Michael Keaton, born Michael Douglas.

C, Katy Perry, born Kate Hudson. Or D, Julia Roberts, born Julia Child. Which one of those is fake? Who's that guy who told me Michael something? Where Walt Disney on his deathbed just said his name? Oh, it was Kurt Russell. Oh, okay. Oh, Michael something.

Can I hear A and B again? A is Albert Brooks. Was he born Albert Einstein? And B was Michael Keaton, born Michael Douglas. Do you know who any of those four people are? Yes, I actually know one of these is for sure real. Which one? Oh, okay. I thought you meant you knew

one of the four people was real. And I was like, Tom, at least two of them. No, no, no. I know one of the answers to this. Yeah, I know. So do I. I of them. No, no, no, I know, I know, like, one of the answers to this. Yeah, I know, so do I. I actually know, yeah,

I think I know this one. I think it's, I think it's D. All right, Tom Goss. I'm gonna go A. The fake one is D. Who did you know

was real for a fact? Katy Perry. That wasn't one of the two he read you. Or not Katy Perry, Kate Hudson. What was it? Oh,

yeah, no, Katy Perry was on here. Oh, yeah, no, but you said between A and B. Never mind. Yes. Okay. Well, he probably, yeah, Perry was on here. Oh, yeah. No, but you said between A and B. Never mind.

Yes. Okay. Well, he probably. Yeah, I knew the Katie Perry. We're fine. We can move off this. Yeah. Why'd you fuck up, Kate?

No, let's really dive into this. All right. Cool. So, Tom. This bit's going nowhere. Way to put the juice on it, McSpadden. Hey, man. When I'm wrong, I'm wrong.

I get out of it. All right. Number three. Too many names edition. A. Meg Ryan. Born Margaret, Mary, Emily, and Hyra. I get out of it. Round number three. Too Many Names edition. A. Meg Ryan, born Margaret, Mary, Emily, and Hyra. Shut up. Fuck off. Pale Hydra.

C. Cher, born Carolyn, Patricia, Helen, Elizabeth, McWilliams. What the fuck is this? You forgot B. No, that's why I said B. I said C. Oh, well, it's B. C. What's B? B is Cher, born... Not taken. C. Oh, well, it's B. Okay. C. What's B? B is Cher, born. Not taken.

C, Audrey Hepburn, born Etta Kathleen Van Heemstra Hepburn Rustin. Heemstra? Yeah, H-E-E-M-S-T-R-A. All their original names sound like their German secret Asian name before they fucking ended. I think that's why they changed them. And D, Dido, born Florian Cloud de Buen

Vial Armstrong. That's too dumb to not be real. I'm going to say it's A. I thought Dido was the name of the band. No, Dido's that lady. There's just one lady? Yeah. There are also birds. That makes it all the more impressive. You think of Dodos? Yes. I thought it was a

whole band making these amazing songs. It's just one vision lady? I mean, I think she has a band playing, but like... Yeah, she doesn't play all the instruments at once. She just sings and yeah. So just fucking guess.

I say A. I don't remember the first three. Cool, just say one. I'm not repeating. You've lost that right. What did you say, Keith? A. Every time Tom does the I'm not repeating. You've lost that right. What did you say, Keith? Every time Tom does the I'm not stupid, you're stupid for thinking I was actually

that stupid bit, I won't repeat the witch of the fall. I'm going to say B. Alright, yeah, unfortunately Tom's wrong. Oh, no, actually Tom was right. Actual birth name, Cheryl Sarkissian. And that is why. Yeah, that is why, guys.

Round number four. In Russia, celebrity names you. Alright, well played, Homuncula. Homuncula. That was real cute. Well played, Park Chocula. A.

A. A. I'm just kidding. All right, A. Connor, read them. I thought I had Connor read them, but I got an STD test. Wait, I don't get it. Connor, read them. Oh, I got it. Yeah, dude. It was a stretch. I'm going to be real with you. an STD test. Wait, I don't get it. Gonorrhea. It was a stretch.

So was the test. Five and a half hours of sleep plus Zoloft zaps. You're going to have to do a lot of heavy lifting here. I like that we're just actively making it worse knowing you're suffering. I'm not suffering, I'm just not exactly with the razor sharp weight that I'm used to. Read the humorous Russian names. Alright, manamana.

A dummy more born Dina Sofia Sergeyevich of Bieler. Sergeyevich should be your name. B. Helen Mirren, born Ilyana Lidia Vasilevna Maronov. Gesundheit. C. Kirk Douglas, born Isura Danielovich Demski. Or Natalie Wood, born Natalia Nikolovana Zakarenko. I'm pretty sure...

If you read all these backwards, I'm pretty sure it's Salmon's Carnage. Can I hear A? A. Demi Moore born Dina Sofia Sergeyevich Obilor. I think it's A. I think... Just give me the celebrities one more time.

Demi Moore, Helen Mirren, Kirk Douglas, and Natalie Wood. Kirk Douglas. Yeah, I think it's A, just because I feel like some of those syllables don't usually go together. I feel like he might have combined two different... That actually is some sound logic. Yeah. Tom, it pains me to tell you this, but you are correct. Nicely done.

It was A. Tom, it pains me to tell you this, but you are correct. Nicely done. It was A. Tom the linguist. Demi Moore was actually born Greg Johnson. No, Demi Moore was actually born Demetria Gines? That was a good one. Gines? That was a good one. I don't care, but I'm just pretending to give a shit for the podcast.

Accurate. You get it. And finally, all real or all fake. Stevie Wonder born Stefan Hook Jenkins. Old Hook Jenkins. Yo, dude, you fucked up, Stevie. That's a way better name. Yeah.

Elvis Costello born Dennis Norman McIntosh. Shania Twain born Elaine Rebecca Elliott. Or Anne Rice born Mary Ann Jane O'Connell. All real. I think they're all fake. Oh, Tom, you're fucking breaking my heart. You're right. Those are all fake.

The U.S. is given the name of Steveland Judkins. Which should be Tom's name. That should 100% be what we call Tom. Shut up, Steveland. Steveland. My name is Steveland Brown. You know some asshole named Steve in Cleveland has a man cave that says Steve-land? Welcome to Steve-land.

You must be this tall to fucking... What's Elvis Costello's? Declan Patrick McManus. I actually knew that because I come from a family of Elvis Costello fans. That's right, yeah. I think I'm hearing it now. Shania Twain, Alina, Regina Edwards, and Anne Rice. Her fucking birth name was Howard Allen O'Brien.

Wait, what? What? Who's naming a bitch Howard? Yeah, man, you a lady. Why are you naming a bitch Howard? Damn, you can't call a bitch Howard while you're fucking a bitch. Oh, Howard. Oh, give it to me, Howie.

Oh, yeah. That pussy feels so good, Howard. Your ass is tight, Howard. Damn, you Howard the fuck. Who is she? Anne Rice? I don't fucking know, dude. She wrote Interview with a Vampire.

Oh, cool. Good for her. You mean Twilight? No. Anne didn't write shit. Howard wrote that book. That was Howard's work. Man, Howard be putting it down.

Howard is this podcast going, I don't know. What the fuck did you just say? We'll be right back. Mean Boys is brought to you by Don Carlo's Taco Shop in La Jolla, California. Don Carlo. Conveniently located down the street from the La Jolla Comedy Store. Across the street. If you're in San Diego for an evening, fucking catch yourself an amazing comedy show with all the fine headliners they have coming through there.

And then make the trip right down the road to Don Carlo's and pick up a delicious California burrito. That's my favorite. But if you want to check out their menu options, of which there is a fucking bounty. A lot of burritos. Tough to behold. Go over to eataburrito.com for more information.

And just know that this man, the way he talks about making burritos is like the way creepy dudes with ponytails talk about making their own knives in their backyard. Just the passion is there. He's upsettingly good at it. He's like, well, I use the waffle fries because it holds the sour cream in better in the burrito.

The man is an artist. He's a meat poet. He really is. He really is. So go and see the Maya Angelou of fucking flush tubes at John Carlos. Yes, exactly. And back to the show. All right.

And Mean Boys podcast is back. Opening up the Mean Boys mailbag. Read some to the show. Quong! All right, and the Mean Boys podcast is back. Opening up the Mean Boys mailbag. We'll read some of your questions. If you want to send us a question or leave us a voicemail, you do the first at meanboyspodcast.gmail.com any time of the day or night, or meanboyspodcast.com slash contact. And voicemails, that number is 304-805-MEAN. That is 6326 for all the simpletons out there. Mean.

We got some nice tweets today. Luis A. Galvez writes, is Wild Wild West considered a steampunk movie? I've got to say... Oh, fuck. Oh, Tom just hit his funny bone on the mic stand. For those listening, Tom just hurt himself sitting. Hey, that's for real. That's like the fattest way to hurt yourself.

Cut to the chair breaking. That's just below sleeping and breathing. He's sitting. I was moving my arm After that is strolling Yeah, you moved your arm wrong And then reading I dented the metal

What do you want? Undented metal and a smarter co-host Is it a steampunk movie? I guess Well, good luck finding both those things in the same person I mean, that spider is pretty steampunky Yeah, I feel like it's not like a I mean, if you're like

If you're a steampunk purist It's probably not like Well, actually, steampunky. Yeah, I feel like it's not like a... I mean, if you're a steampunk purist, it's probably not like, well, actually, steampunk actually had... It's probably not like on that level, but I mean... No. Have I told the steampunk story about my work on the show? No. Yeah, when the dog gets fucked. No.

Tom, have you ever heard the story of when Keith's fucked? No. Yeah, yeah. I watched a dog cornhole a bitch on a dirigible. No. What is a dirigible? It's a blimp. bitch on a dirigible. No. What is a dirigible? It's a blimp. Yeah, a dirigible.

Honestly, the mode of transportation you were born to use. Pedaled by foot like the fucking guy in Mad Max. This is a fun 4 a.m. Mean Boys around the house bit as Keith Ray, Bloom Captain. You know, when I finally command my own dirigible after I find my way to the top of the garbage barge, and I get my own Sour Mash distillery open, and all my Bitcoin investments pay off. It's going to be great. I'm going to buy myself a pair of new shoes. No, and I worked at the Queen Mary Long Beach Hotel, and they would have conferences and conventions and stuff.

And there was one day where they were having both a steampunk convention and a gathering of surviving family members of dudes who died during World War II. Oh, my God. That fucking rules. This 400-year-old woman. If you're not familiar with the steampunk subculture, it's a bunch of virgins who turn top hats into robots. It's fucking lame as hell, dude.

It's just like, what if I put gears on my horrible body? Everyone's just wearing vests, and they're all just fat and smell terrible. A lot of them are in assistive scooters because they have fucking yeah body gout like imagine what if steve hofstetter was the villain in hg wells novel and you have a steampunker damn good reference i will say scooters are the most robotic thing that you could do like right because robot based i would say robots are well this 900 year old woman who is super in a wheelchair because she needs one. Wait, I thought you said 400. What?

You get it. She comes up to me and she just goes, what's all this? And I don't know how to explain it. She goes, it's a steampunk convention. She goes, what's a steampunk? And it sort of got in my mind. I was just like, your husband did not die face down in the mud on D-Day for me to explain this to you. And I just wanted to kill her with a pillow.

Yeah. Sleep now. Do not see what we wasted your freedom on. You should have just been like, you're crazy. You're seeing things. These people are all dressed normally. Can we put some pills in this lady? Man, that's fucking...

Dude, certain old people where it's like, you shouldn't have had to see, like Logan Paul, man. No. Why is he every reference now? Because fuck him. that's why. I don't know, because I'm tired and I can't cook up anything. I used all my good ones on Spyro and HG Wells, so I'm out of fresh ones.

Time Machine was dope. Cool. So Luis Benitez writes, which one of you is most likely to do a complete 180 and become a born-again Christian? Good question. I think I'm, honestly, Dark Horse, most likely to have a psychotic break than Tom. Wait, I'm sorry.

Say that question again. Which one of us is most likely to do a complete 180 and become a born-again Christian? Oh, I have Jesus in me, though. Yeah, I for sure think Keith. His name was Jesus, and he lives down the street. You guys never came up Jesus-y. I did, and I still, there was a part of me that misses God.

I miss the idea of believing in God. Yeah. There was a comfort to it. Wednesday, a guy came up to me. Hey, can I talk to you? I was like, what's up? And he goes, have you heard about the Church of Mary? And I go, dude, I think all it's horse shit.

And I said it very aggressively. And he goes, okay. And he walked away. I go, I also think you're fucking rude for interrupting me. I don't, I fucking hate that shit. Don't be a dick to those people. Do you remember? It's a rude thing to do.

It is such a rude fucking thing to do. It's a story about a gentleman asking a Mohawked behemoth if he had heard about cost-free salvation and then that man screaming at him and calling him an asshole. It is the human form of the guy going around, like the personified version of the Nigerian prince asking for money. It is fucking a gunk of horse shit. You shouldn't bug people you don't know with it. The use of gunk is incorrect.

I would rather be sneezed on than proselytized, too. Me, too. I cut him some slack. But imagine believing a thing so in your whole heart. I don't give a fuck. You're right. Anybody who believes in a dumb thing shouldn't broadcast it to the world. Anyway, back to our podcast.

Do you remember when we were at IHOP and that guy came up to us and was like, I just wanted to know if you had heard the good word about Jesus in Orange County like five years ago? And I was just like, get the fuck out of here. And he was like, hey, no, I just want to get the fuck out. Nobody gives a shit. Oh, I do remember this. You're bothering us. I'm trying to eat my fucking pancakes.

Leave. Leave. And he tried to talk and I was just like, leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Also, when you're addicted to him, though, you convince him like, oh, the devil's got

him. We got to try harder. They can think whatever the fuck they want as long as they don't bug me. All right. Well, I look forward to in two weeks when Tom beats a missionary to death. I just remember – I made two 16 missionaries cry because they wouldn't leave me alone. Hang on.

You just said two 16. Two 16-year-old missionaries. Oh, good. So you're shouting at children. I told them to leave nicely at first. Wait. How many teenagers did you bang facing them? Here's the thing.

I didn't even really yell at them. I just pointed out how what they were doing was selfish aggressively. And they... Tom, when you were whispering, you were screaming. Yeah, they were rude, so I screamed and threw a bottle at them. I didn't touch them at all. Yeah, the bottle did. My favorite...

No. My favorite moment was when the guy's just kind of like tearing up. He's like... But... And his friend puts his hand on his shoulder and goes, it's okay, we'll move on. Oh, dude, I know I shouldn't. It's probably mean, but I do love that. Yeah, no, I get it. Here's the thing. I just remember my dad, we were at a fair together.

He took me to the carnival and we were walking around and some guy hands him like a, like shoves like an orange little mini Bible at him. I just remember him looking at the guy like, ew. And just being like, my dad is cool. You can believe, I don't care what you fucking believe. Just don't go around doing that shit. I fucking hate it. Yeah, no, I got a free Bible, orange free Bible once. I used it as a fly swatter.

It was a family fly swatter. That's pretty funny. That's hilarious. Also the fact that a family of Buddhists has a device to kill things. Oh, yeah, yeah. You guys are fucking, you guys are killing it at everything. Yeah, no, I hate it when they do it too. I fucking, any religion. It's not, it's not Jesus specific.

It's any fucking religion. I've been your friend and lived with you long enough. I've heard you yell about your anger towards the concept of religion many times. So I'd say probably not me to answer your question. I guess the answer is Keith. Yeah, it's for sure me. Yeah, dude, this is a good one uh death to the phil's ass to the phil's death death of the phil's death death to the phil's ass what's

the worst day you ever been on and then grant baxter replies i think we already know what keith's was and then there's a dog i gotta go ahead and fave that right now the worst date i've ever been on i've already told the story about the fucking buddhist chick with all the pots in her living room yeah uh that would be mine uh the worst date i ever went on on. I've already told the story about the fucking Buddhist chick with all the pots in her living room. Yeah. So that would be mine. The worst date I ever went on. I might have told this one on the podcast.

So apologies if this is repetitive. I went on a date with a girl who I worked at Disneyland. She worked in like the employee cafeteria. Labyrinth Retriever. I didn't fuck the dog. The other lady watched another lady fuck a dog. There's like six degrees of this lady fucking a dog. I'm not fucking any dog.

I didn't fuck the dog. There's like six degrees of this lady fucking a dog. I'm not fucking any dog. I ain't fucking a dog. He had a puppy coat. The problem is, yelling this, now our neighbors just think I fucked a dog. I would be horrified to hear what our neighbors think of us. Don't fuck a Jerry. They're all fucking dogs. Tails up. Faces down.

Somebody say the end. Black lab. Not in my building. Giddy up. Giddy up. Giddy up. So, yeah. So I go on this date with this girl. Please continue with your working class tragedy. You're about to tell us.

And I swiped my lunch card for her so she could have extra square pizza. Back to my downbeat Neil Diamondby side. Or Neil Young. God damn it. I fucked up my own joke. Yeah, dude. Fucking get it together, bro. You get it wrong, Neil.

Spend all this time fucking dogs when you should have gotten better at broadcasting. Alright, 500 iTunes reviews. Keith fucks a dog. It's official. Yeah, but I get to pick the breed. What kind of dog would you fuck? We had this conversation last night. You did? Who are we talking to about this? I don't you fuck a chihuahua? That's mean.

Who are we talking to about this? I don't think I was part of this. At one of the mics we went to last night, I was talking to somebody about what kind of dog you would fuck if you had to fuck a chihuahua. Was it at the VFW? I think it might have been at the VFW. Okay. Yeah.

This is not the interesting part of the story. Anyway, no one is fucking a dog. So anyway, so go on a date with a chihuahua. No, what kind of dog would you guys fuck? Oh, I don't. A pit bull, because I want to be the alpha That's the answer Yeah I feel like a pit bull

Has got like a fat ass Yeah they're thick They got haunches A Rottweiler Because of diversity Well you can't Like I feel like a pit bull Can't you be a Rottweiler

Because of diversity Well you can't fuck a little dog Because that's like Peeling a banana in reverse Like it's like Jesus Yeah I just feel like It's eyes would pop out of it's head

Like one of those Like squeezy toys You used to get as a kid Oh I donezy toys Alright guys no one's fucking a dog The Mean Boys podcast does not endorse dog fucking Unless that dog is like Jonesing for it Jonesing for a bone I'm burying a bone

I'll blow up that hydrant Yeah so I got on a date with this girl Who worked at the Tell us about when you butt fucked someoneed someone with a spork handle. We decided to go to Disneyland because we were like, oh, we'll go hang out at Disney. And it turned out very quickly this girl was, like, retarded. Like, she was just... Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You might get banned from This Is Red. Oh, heavens to Betsy. Well, this is retarded because this lady was dumb. Heavens to Betsy. She's one of those, like, I'm an adult, but I'm still way too into Disney people. Oh, the worst. Those are monstrous. They're like cult members.

And so I'm like an hour into this. I'm like, I got to get out of here. So I do the, like, fake an emergency phone call thing. Here's where I make the mistake. I should have been like, oh, my house got broken into. Or like, oh, something else happened. Instead I go, I panicked. And I just went, oh, my grandma died.

And she's like, oh, my God. And I'm like, yeah, so I got to go. And she's like, well, I guess I'll go too. And I have to pretend I'm really tore up about my grandma dying. It turns out we took the same bus to get there. So we have to wait for and get on an Orange County public bus where I'm having to act. I'm fake crying, pretending. Oh, my God, god dude I end up getting

off like four stops early on Catella I let her go and then I just uh I went to the movies by myself and went saw Pan's Labyrinth damn fine film wow it was a good movie yeah yeah okay the day itself was just kind of bad but like the at the end point was pretty rough Tom is your date the one where you open up to a gal about a dream you thought was real on accident? Oh, yeah. Yeah, maybe. Tell it. I promise she doesn't listen to the show.

Yeah. I just, yeah. No, I told, this girl was talking about being a special ed teacher. And I'm not even 100% sure if it was a date. Regardless, and I. Tom even 100% sure regardless and I a proto-romantic scenario she's talking about

she's definitely throwing you vibes I think so she's talking about being a special ed teacher and I'm like just trying to figure out how do I not say i used to be in special ed i used to think i was retarded i used to trying to avoid that and then as i'm like trying to bar that verbiage instead why y'all is oh that reminds me when i was in seventh grade my mom tried to

sign me up to go to a blind school. And she was like, what? And I was like, well, it was blind and deaf. And she's like, okay. And it just kind of destroyed the moment. It wasn't until I was driving home where I realized that that might have been a dream. And I still need to ask my mom whether or not she tried to do this. either way it makes sense and i'm not sure yeah yeah yeah yeah and then you didn't realize until the drive home you're like oh i might have dreamed that yeah uh all right guys one more uh okay let's find a good

one here if you guys were pro wrestlers what would your names and gimmicks be? Oh, Steve and Judkins. Tom would be Meat Pants. I think you can guess the gimmick. Captain James T. Girth. Okay. I don't know wrestling. I don't like it either.

I don't know. Good thing you picked this one. I thought it would be fun. My thing, definitely not the gay wrestler is my name. Well, I mean, I know there's more. No, my name is

the straight wrestler. This is wrestling related. I could be Bulk Hogan. Oh, Bulk Hogan's pretty good. That's fine. Me and Opie were arguing about something

the other night and he goes, I'm gonna put the people's elbow on you and I go, don't you mean the you people's elbow? That was pretty funny.

All right, guys. What is your closest brushes with death? Pancakes or waffles? Ooh, that's a fun one. I go waffles. It really depends on where generally I go waffle. But if it's certain places or I'm in the mood, I'll go with a pancake. Yeah, I'm literally thinking of which time I was in the ICU I should talk about right now.

Okay, Tom. You win. Let's go non-suicide brushes with that. Non-suicide. That's less of a fun story. Ooh. I think that's all of them. I think all of them.

I'm trying to think. I almost got shot as a kid. Oh, wow. Yeah, I was at a concert, and it turned into a riot, and we had to escape, and guns started going off. And I guess my mom threw me over a fence, threw me in the back of a truck, and afterwards she was checking my clothes, and she found a bullet hole in my sweater. Wow. Yeah.

That was when I was like four or five. It was the band we were going to go see tonight, actually. What? That's so funny. Me, it was probably when I got my throat closed up when I had mono and Mersa, and I got steroids in my neck. I forgot. You just got all of the illnesses at once. I know. i was literally covered in flesh-eating sores with mono you got a biblical plague yeah it's probably like suicide girl actually it was probably six months

ago when i had pancreatitis and i decided instead of going to the nearest hospital after having it for two weeks to take a fucking six-hour plane trip home because the doctor screamed at me so fucking much that i could have gone to toxic shock that's how fucking tough tom is man i thought i had bad gas his fucking insides were exploded that's how bad tom's farts are that i told him and i told him i was like yeah i thought i just had the fat some bad gas or something and he goes you literally had a chemical fire inside of your butt. You did not think it was funny.

I did. Well, guys, that's the show. We'll have some more. We've got some weird voicemails and shit. We'll save those for the next episode. We'll record these close together. Going on tour, guys. Hell, yeah, dude.

The Mean Boys spring tour is coming. We're going to fucking the University of... That's not open to the public. Never mind. We'll be in Milwaukee, but you can't come. We can't. No, we got another show in Milwaukee. You can come too.

We'll be in Milwaukee. You can come sometimes. Great work, everybody. Are you glad we waited for six months to announce these dates? For the love of shit, we're going on tour. Milwaukee, Chicago, Fort Wayne, Indiana, Detroit, Cleveland,

Pittsburgh, Washington, D.C., Philadelphia, New York, motherfucking city, bitch. By this time, at least some of the tickets should be live on MeanBoysPodcast.com. Go snap those up.

Tell your friends. We're fucking great comedians. We put on a good show. You guys will have a lot of fun. We'll hang out. We'll party. We'll fucking swap stories. It'll be a good time.

Yeah, we're going to be doing stand-up at some of these shows. There are going to be a few live Mean Boys podcasts on the road to keep your eyes peeled for the specifics.

Seriously, bring your friends so we can come back to your stupid town. Yeah, totally. You guys wanted us to come. We're calm and we're excited. You are now our street team.

We need you to fucking sell these. I know we just talked about how it's rude to go up to people and try and force things into their life. We lied. Do this with this show. Get every idiot in your fucking neighborhood to come to these shows,

and we promise we will blow their dicks off. Look, we're not the most popular podcast, but people ask us, when are you coming to XYZ? We're like, all right, we'll see where the most people are. We'll plan out a route. We'll do an inordinate amount of work booking venues.

This was fucking hard. So please, come out. It'll be a good time, I promise. And also, if you haven't signed up for the Patreon yet, now would be a really good time to do that. That would be great. We got some airplane tickets to buy, and we might have lost a few big dollars. Yeah, we sure might have everybody patreon.com slash mean boys uh get your tickets if the ticket links are live if not they'll be live very very

soon we are fucking stoked and uh yeah if they're not if your city isn't live when you go up there hop in the email list you'll be the first to know yes uh also fucking videos coming soon that's gonna be a patreon awards here we'll have some clips going out on youtube you can see the full video episodes live on patreon yep yep come see me I had line of the Velveeta room in Texas fucking June 6th 15th and 16th me a lot

of fun I had a great time in Austin last time I was out there so please I'd love to see some of you guys and I'm headlining the motherfucking comedy off Main Street in Glendale

Arizona the 23rd and the 24th of February so come hang out this week I will be this weekend rather I'll be at the Madhouse Comedy Club in San Diego Friday and Saturday doing four shows, 730 and 945. And May 25th I will be headlining the Kingpin Lanes comedy show in Blue Lake. Oh, yeah. Also, fucking, I'm in Oklahoma this weekend. Look on my Twitter or my Facebook or my Instagram for dates. I'll post them there

February 8th I'll be at Chapter 1 In Santa Ana The February 18th I'll be at the Hollywood Improv Lab In Hollywood, California Nice

The 21st Hollywood Tom, baby Yeah, my first time Doing that show So if anyone wants To come out Please support The 21st

I'll be at Ozzy's in Fountain Valley March 8th Canteen Points And then I have A couple other shows But those are later in March So I'll be at Oz and Fountain Valley. March 8th, Canteen Points. And then I have a couple other shows, but those are later in March. So I'll announce them. Cool. Yeah, so guys, we'll fucking see you soon.

Yeah. Another episode coming on Thursday. We love you. Fuck everything. Dog's got fuck. Stop. I say Send it in great Send it in great Send it in great Send it in great Send it in great Send it in great

Send it in great Send it in great Send it in great Send it in great Send it in great Send it in great Send it in great Send it in great

Send it in great I say