Mean Boys - EP 112 - Invisible Diarrhea (feat. Robin Tran)

Episode Date: February 22, 2018

We're going on tour, come see us! Most ticket links are live, if they're not, jump on our email list: meanboyspodcast.com Support the show on Patreon: www.patreon.com/meanboys This week’s segments include “Mexican Joke Off”, "Whodunnit?", “Sauced”, "Poetry Corner" and a game of "Which of the Following" with weird cocktails by @EthanDLawrence. Listen to Robin's podcast: https://soundcloud.com/robintranpodcast Fuck with the new Mean Boys subreddit: www.reddit.com/r/meanboys/ Subscribe to our YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/channel/UC0hvkj7TOPzMdJbKIh1L_hw Shop Sudio headphones and use promo code "MEANBOYS" for 15% off all purchases: goo.gl/JWBAJK Contribute to the Mean Boys wiki: mean-boys.wikia.com/wiki/Mean_Boys_Wiki Send us an email at [e-mail] or leave us a voicemail at [phone] We are proudly sponsored by Don Carlo's Taco Shop in La Jolla California (www.eataburrito.com) Follow our guest Robin Tran on Twitter: twitter.com/RobinTran04 Follow the show on Twitter: twitter.com/meanboyspodcast Follow Keith on Twitter: twitter.com/keithtellsjokes Follow Connor on Twitter: twitter.com/connormcspadden Follow Tom on Twitter: twitter.com/gossgoss6 Visit us on the web: www.meanboyspodcast.com Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/meanboyspodcast Follow us on Instagram: instagram.com/meanboyspodcast Follow us on Soundcloud: @meanboyspodcast Theme: I’ve Seen Footage by Death Grips (itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-mon…tore/id515449028) Buy Keith’s album (itunes.apple.com/us/album/forever-nap/id1105182043) Podcast logo by Luis Galvez: twitter.com/luiagal Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Desjardins.com slash business coverage. This episode is brought to you by DAZN. For the first time ever, the 32 best soccer clubs from across the world are coming together to decide who the undisputed champions of the world are in the FIFA Club World Cup. The world's

best players, Messi, Ha Holland, Kane, and more are all taking part. And you can watch every match for free on DAZN starting on June 14th and running until July 13th. Sign up now at DAZN.com slash FIFA. That's D-A-Z-N.com slash FIFA. Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Mean Boys podcast.

It's Connor and Keith. What up? Got a great show for you this week with Robin Tran, one of our favorites, finally returning to the studio. Yeah, it was good to finally have her back in here. Yeah, and some very exciting developments on the Mean Boys front. We're locking in some cool shit we'll be announcing soon. Strap in, everybody.

Yeah, but in the meantime, we are going on tour in April all over the damn place. Tell them those cities we're hitting, Keith. We're going to motherfucking Milwaukee, Chicago, Fort Wayne, Indiana, Cleveland, Detroit, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Washington, D.C., New York. Yeah. It was just me trying to not forget what we were doing. We're going to all those fucking places. We sure are. And most of the 90% of those ticket links are live right now on MeanBoysPodcast.com.

And if they're not in your town just yet, we are waiting on a couple of venues to get their shit updated. Hop on the email list. Also conveniently located on MeanBoysPodcast.com. At the bottom of the homepage, you'll be the first to know. You guys are already snapping those tickets up, and we appreciate it. Keep on doing that.

Let us know. We're going to see you guys out there. And it's going to be a lot of fun. We're all very funny. It's going to be a good fucking time. And we can't wait to see you guys. Furthermore, if you guys missed anything on the $10 Patreon goodie bag tier, we guys furthermore uh if you guys missed anything on the

the ten dollar patreon goodie bag tier uh we have all that shit up on the website on the merch page so you know if you if you want to get yourself a wristband or a sticker or a fucking yeah all that shit all our plethora of fucking nonsense i know the the least significant podcast with the most amount of the merch to significance ratio is astonishing the whole corner of our apartment full of our dumb fat faces faces. Yeah, yeah. So you can go grab those right now. You guys have already been doing that. We do appreciate it.

Also, we've got a Mean Boys subreddit that one of you guys made. I forget who. My bad. So if you guys want to go fuck with that, link for that's in the show notes. But, of course, as always, subscribe to our YouTube channel, Instagram, Twitter. It's all at Mean Boys Podcast. Help make this a full multimedia takeover. Oh, yeah.

We're working on it. We want every site. And thank you guys who are always tweeting at us, sending us in games and suggestions and shit. Speaking of Patreon, now is a great time to get on the Patreon. We got a lot of stuff coming up that we do need to kind of juice a little bit. Yeah, we have the bonus content and the new sticker pack this month, of course. But we finally locked in our next goal.

We hit those first two shockingly quick. Yeah, because we hit the $500. We gave you an extra episode a month. We hit the $1,000. We gave you two extra episodes a month. And we realized we can't add any more episodes a month or we'll fucking die. Yeah, we're like, we'll do it twice a week.

And then we did it six times a month. And we're like, no, we won't. Yeah, we genuinely thought about that and realized we couldn't do it without wanting to kill ourselves. However, if we get to $2,000, drumroll, snark week two. Yeah, guys. We will do it without wanting to kill ourselves however if we get to two thousand dollars drum roll snark week two yeah guys we will do it again we will break connor's fragile mind ideally i'm

still recovering from snark week one if i'm being honest here's what needs to happen my whole life in a pit in my dream world we hit 250 reviews then we hit 2000 on patreon and i get to feed you soup on the last day of snark Week and just watch you weep. I can revert you to a four-year-old psychologically. I'm going to fucking MK Ultra Connor with a bullet chowder, but I need you guys to help us do that. Yeah, as soon as someone shows me a spoon, I'll start shooting people. Yeah, we're going to straight up fucking destroy Connor.

So please jump on the Patreon if you've been waiting. There's so much cool merch. There's so much cool shit coming up. And on top of that, we can ruin mine and Connor's life. Oh, yeah. And we got a lot of stuff going on. We don't have time to do this. It's going to be a disaster.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's truly problematic. And you know the worse our lives are, the better this show is. If you've been listening, you know that's the fucking ratio. Absolutely. Quick plug for me personally. Headlining comedy off Main Street this weekend, Friday and Saturday.

Come hang out. I'll be, and you can even come to the after party where me and Nat Bamel fucking talk about Star Trek grievances. And of course, the soup challenge is still going on. And honestly, I'm pretty pleased with the idea because the reviews have been rocketing.

It is the most anything has ever moved to the needle. I love that every plan we have boils down to just going, ah, shit, it's working. Yeah, right? I really don't want to do this, guys. Sir Nightmare, or Senior Nightmare. Señor Nightmare.

Señor Nightmare. We'll go with that. Squatters of the Mic, five stars. If you've ever wondered what it sounded like, a fat, giant monster and someone who obviously ate way too much paste in school found a tape recorder in an abandoned house they were squatting in, this is the podcast for you. And I kind of fixed up some of the grammar and punctuation

because that is a fucking word nightmare. It's a word senor nightmare. But I did like the ilk of what he was saying. I enjoy that I am a fat giant monster. Yeah, if a giant, a fat monster. Oh, a giant. I guess I'm the giant. You're the fat monster, and Tom would be the paste.

Tom would be the one that's clearly Tom. I know. I was like, God, I don't need paste. Yeah, the paste-swilling monster. It's too close to soup. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's the soup of the arts and crafts world. Yeah, it's special soup.

Yeah, it's fucking connective gumbo. Yeah. Well, anyway, that's enough of us. Loved having Robin Tran back in the studio. Check out her podcast. There'll be a link for that in the show notes. And enjoy this week's episode Hey everybody, welcome to the mean boys podcast, you know, it gets me out of bed in the morning? Diarrhea. I'm Connor McSpadden. I'm Keith Carey.

I'm Tom Goss. And I'm... The host of But Like, Do You Still Have a Dick Though? The podcast. Welcome back. After 90 episodes, Robin Dredd in the studio. One of my favorites. Yeah, thanks for that plug.

Yeah, the host of the new Ask a Trans Person Anything podcast. I listened to the first episode. It was fun. Oh, thanks, man. I mean, I'd rather get that question than what I usually get, which is no questions at all. No one gives a shit.

Well, now you got the Mean Boys bump, so you'll be getting a bunch of dudes with Deadpool face tattoos going, how did you feel about Black Panther? Because I felt like it was propped up by the Zogs machine. And you'd be like, oh, okay, I kind of liked when it was just me

talking to myself with no input. I think Robin's gonna get like that subset of our audience that is just like woke juggalos. Yeah, we do have a good amount of those. It's a good chunk of the pie chart. We have a good amount of trans people too. Yeah, we do, shockingly, yeah. We got an email, I just want you guys to know you have a black trans English listener and I was like, oh,

thank you for checking some boxes for us. Is there ever really a good amount? Yeah, zero. No, do you, I frequently shout you out on the podcast when trans issues come up. I'll be like,

hi, Rob. And you do listen periodically, right? I do, I do, yeah. But I've started to go to a fucking wellness center, which is like a mental health facility. So I'm taking a break from the mean boys.

We are the opposite of a wellness center. Yeah, we got an email from a guy on the episode we taped yesterday where he's just like, yeah, your guys' show really helped me while I was sleeping in French graveyards without a phone. I just thought of an idea. I want there to be like a Dennis Miller rant style show with Robin just yelling about random shit. It's called Trans Issues, but with an apostrophe. That's funny. I like it.

Yeah. I gotta do something that works. Oh, man. What were we just talking about? Oh, yeah. The Wellness Center. Yeah. So what is the crowd like at a Wellness Center?

Oh, man. I don't know how to... I don't think she's headlining there. Yeah. Just like, what's the group? Who's hanging out? Well, well it's a word i can't we're not allowed to use anymore are they like tom uh no they make tom look like a genius oh no yeah you said that like i'm not you are kind of a genius in a very scary way yeah no it's a really fucked up place that I go to like every day. So nice.

Nice. This is comedy gold, guys. Sorry for digging. We're like, oh, we struck oil. I'm like, oh, no, that was a sewer pipe. Yeah. OK. Well, I think it's like a mental health and community college fucked and then abandoned it.

Yeah, that's that's what I've been saying. It's like, oh, that's pretty. I feel like everyone's perception on places like that, because I've been to a lot of, I haven't been to the wellness center specifically, but I feel like everyone's view of a psych ward is just that bullshit scene from Good Burger, where there's a psych ward. That's what you think the cultural reference point

for a psych ward is, Good Burger. Home of the Good Burger. That's one of the very few. Can I take your shoelaces? What's the orange soda quota at the wellness center? Dude, the only time I've been starstruck in my comedy career is when I opened for Kel Mitchell. And I was like, I watched you when I was like eight. I was just like, wow.

You were all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then everybody else, you get out of here. Relevant person. I was like, this you know, you get out of here. Relevant person. I was like, this is Kel, you son of a bitch. A little respect. Kel, friend of Kenan. Yeah, you know.

They got back together. Did you see that? They did Wild and Not together, I think. Oh, shit. I thought that was very sweet. It was cool to see that. Oh, man. My buddy Jamal told me the best.

Jamal, Cali Stacks, rapper du jour, who wants to do the podcast. We got to get him on if you're listening i'll get to it yeah uh yeah listen to a song bless the bottle uh go go catch up on his beef with radio base of of the inland empire he was telling me he was like yeah i mean i was like 19 and i was at six flags and i saw cal and i was like hey are you cal and he's like yeah i'm cal and i was like yeah that's what's up and he's like ain't nobody like swarming around and going like oh my god it's cal it was just, yeah, that's what's up. And he's like, ain't nobody swarming around him going like, oh, my God, it's Kel. It was just like, yeah, I'm Kel.

It's fine. I'll just continue to be Kel at Six Flags now. Yeah, I'm just being Kel at Six Flags. Do you think Kel even gets the front of the line pass at Six Flags? Or do you think you still got to wait? I got to figure he could wear a good burger shirt and do it. Yeah, maybe. I don't know.

I don't want to make fun of him. He's a really nice guy. Oh, yeah, I'm not shitting on him. You think he ever tries to go buy orange soda? Oh, just if he hasn not shitting on him. You think he ever tries to go buy orange soda? Just to make people like, hey, hey, hey. I was just like, hey, could I get eight of these? Or just at a McDonald's, like, boy, that's a good burger. Looks around.

Huh? Huh? Yeah, that's me when I just go out in public and just start chanting, roast master, roast master. You guys watch the preliminaries? You know, the ones that are on IMDb? TV credit. Yeah. Special needs. Specialmaster, huh? You guys watch the preliminaries? You know, the ones that are on IMDb? TV credit.

Yeah. Special needs. Special needs, huh? We're having fun at the Albertsons, right, guys? All right. We're all fired up, gang. What do you say we get into the Mexican joke? Yeah, let's do it.

Aye, so topical. Sometimes I say that and it's a lie, but, you know, we do it anyway. Yeah. All right. I'll take us away this week. Scientists have created the first sheep human hybrid dr hero nakauchi thanked the welsh people for their hundreds of years of diligent efforts in the project fucking sheep i'm doing 1920s new york immigrant jokes that's my new thing on the show i don't understand who who was just like oh i see these sheep

too bad they're not also human. Like, why would you? I would like if they could understand the pain they're feeling. I think that would make them much better creatures. No, it was a thing so they could grow, like, human organs inside the sheep for transplants. Oh, okay. I thought they were trying that with, I know they're doing that with pigs. I know they're doing it with sheep. I guess they've moved on to sheep.

It's weird because we're more like pigs. I mean, me and you specifically. Well, you guys are definitely going to need some new organs, so I don't know if you should be complaining. It's the same as stabbing a person. Wait, wait, wait. Tom, hold up. Wait, what? Rebuttal question. Have you ever

stabbed a pig? No, no, no, no, but it's like a scientific fact. What scientist is just like, all right, we've done some comparisons. All the ones on the History Channel. I'm sorry, I'm cultured. Professor Sketchy Dave of the Appalachian Community College.

Okay, I've figured, I've sussed this out. Tom saw one episode of Deadliest Warrior where they used a katana on a pig carcass and he decided that those people were scientists

who had mathematically determined that pig stabbing is very much like people stabbing. I'll look it up, but you guys are just going to shit on me for being right about something. You're going to look it up and your computer is going to set itself on fire in protest.

This is what they do when they're wrong. They just make objects kill themselves. Don't look at me, man. I thought we were going to have a fucking alliance. Karen Fiat was next to you for eight minutes and now you think you can just team up. I'm not for or against you. I guess I don't think that's...

I will tweet out pig facts to you guys. All the Mean Boys listeners who know shit about pigs, back me up on this shit. I did. I did a college one time. I'm serious. I bet at least one Mean Boys listener has stabbed a pig. If you have, please tweet us. You fucked a couple guys that have heard the show, right?

Yeah, we always joke that Keith's dick is really the Mean Boys street team because keith will always be like oh yeah i wanted a grinder date and uh it didn't go great but he likes mean boys now it's happened a uh disgusting amount of times i did cal state fresno and before i'm going on stage i'm like is there anything you guys want me to talk about or whatever because colleges are weird about that they're like stabbing pigs yeah yeah uh no they're like well you can the material is. Whatever you want to talk about, sex, race, it's all great. But they're like, a student got expelled for fucking a sheep last year. And it's been a real point of contention in the community. It's been kind of embarrassing.

I brought it up every 90 seconds. Every time a joke didn't go perfectly, I was like, hey, at least I didn't fuck a sheep. Right? Did it play? You fucking invalid. The first 15 times. After that, it was diminishing returns. What was the point of contention?

Were some for and some against? Look what that sheep was wearing. Yeah. It had just been sheared. It was a slutty sheep. Sheep had a landing strip. Yeah, go fucking take back the night. All right.

Well, speaking of 1920s immigrant New York jokes, the prime minister of Poland suggested in a speech that Jews were partially responsible for the Holocaust. He then held up a pile of horse shit and asked the United Nations to look what he almost just stepped in. At a Utah high school, an American flag was destroyed and replaced with an ISIS flag. After the Florida shooting, students were mostly offended

that the ISIS flag wasn't at half mast. Fergie, you know, Fergalicious Lady. Fergie. God damn it, Tom, you're already so much. The Black Eyed Peas one. Get the fuck out of here. Fergie performed the Star Spangled Banner and was laughed at through her performance. Most thought it was because the song was terrible, but in reality, it's just hilarious to see a woman in entertainment in their 40s.

Oh, okay. I lost breath. I was watching you lose wind. I was like, oh shit, I dropped period in this bitch. You wasted valuable breath saying, you know, the Fergalicious lady. Tom has two options with jokes. He either stammers through it quickly and fucks it up,

or he tries to do very official news anchor Tom, and then he fucks up his pancake. And I was like, ah, shit, where do I breathe? I like the idea of the joke a lot. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. My delivery was horrendous. Yeah.

Great. But A-plus writing, though. Oh, thank you. D-minus the rest of it. I liked it, guys. That's fine. All right, gang. Six were killed and 21 were wounded

in President's Day weekend shootings across Chicago. I guess they were only celebrating the presidencies of Abraham Lincoln, JFK, and Ronald Reagan. They all got shot. McKinley, too, right? I think. And Teddy Roosevelt got shot. Did Teddy Roosevelt get shot? Yeah, he did.

50 Cent? President 50 Cent? Like all those beef jerky dudes who are just like Chuck Norris facts, like holdouts, or just like, Teddy Roosevelt was so badass he got shot and finished his speech. Oh, that's right. That's like a fun bro fact on the internet that people like to throw out in weird whiskey meme form. That's something they definitely said in a commercial bumper on Manswers at some point.

Oh, yeah, dude. All right. Sources claim the killer in last week's Florida school shooting has recently gone through a breakup and had begun cutting himself. Under Florida law, he will be charged with 14 counts of murder and one count of first degree faggot shit. Like, it's all these stories are coming out where it's like he was so sad and it's just like all this poor guy. I'm like, we were all sad in high school. Some of us just wrote poetry, man. Yeah, man.

Some of us just dreamed of podcasting. Yeah. The wonderful world of minute broadcasts. I know. That was so funny. School shootings are the new poetry. Oh, my God. That was my big fantasy in 12th grade. It's like, someday I want to have my own podcast.

Hide under the desk. Oh, man. All right. You're up. All right. Sean Hannity tweeted that the Obama portrait contained, quote, secret sperm. Hannity continued, if that portrait contains sperm, I want to see that fucking goddamn cum right on the table. Hannity. Hannity said that. Yeah. You know Hannity. That cum woman Hannity. Oh, yeah. What a big fan.

Wait, what? said that yeah you know hannity that come up in a hannity oh yeah what a big fan wait what wait does he mean like there's sperm like painted into it or like the dude like blew a load on the painting while he was making it i don't know i didn't do it i hope it's the second one i gotta get fucking hope i think he means that in the painting that's so funny what a weird yeah like that's like like authors like hide their signature in their paintings like you just like put a couple sperm in the leaves or something yeah love it uh a playboy model you guys you guys know playboy uh fergalicious magazine yeah yeah you guys know playboy uh yeah well this lady has uh come forward saying she had an affair with donald trump uh in other news bill Bill Clinton is at his beautiful mind wall going how's he getting away with this shit?

I really appreciate your Bill Clinton impression. Why is this happening to not him? Well done, Tom. I'm proud of you. Oh, thank you. Everybody's doing the rest of the podcast as Bill Clinton. Oh, no. This is like that John Malkovich movie, but I can play the saxophone and fuck people.

Like, we'll have Robert on the podcast, but we're going to say we had Robert on the podcast. Don't ask, don't tell. All right, guys, a man was caught stealing a thumb from a 2200-year-old terracotta warrior. Arresting officers told the man, if you want an old Asian finger in your butt, George Takei is available. Whoa. Arresting officers told the man If you want an old Asian finger in your butt George Takei is available I don't know why I assumed that he was Taking that finger and putting it in his butt But I mean how else would you steal it from Who's George Takei Sulu from Star Trek

Now he's just like a meme guy He shared my Obama meme that one time And he gave me credit Star Trek Not a Star Trek fan No I'm not a fan I am not a crook To boldly go where Connor went a little bit better before.

And to keep pushing it until it stops being funny once and for all. No one's laughing at this at home. You're just slowly turning into a Jimmy Carter because I want it removed. All right. A funeral home director in Colorado was shut down for illegally selling the body parts of customers' dead loved ones. When asked for comment, Denver Police Chief Fozzie Baer said, This funeral will cost you an arm and a leg, waka waka.

Straight up retarded. I really like that. Hey, hell yeah. Fozzie Bear. You know, the Fozzie-licious moment. Robin, you look really disgusted with what you've decided to do with your afternoon. I'm really happy. I'm smiling.

Okay. Not my eyes, but my mouth, certainly. This is my smile face. I have to do one bad joke because I did the Fergie setup that Tom did was actually one of my punchlines. That's how bad the Fergie joke was. So I have to do a bad one. I don't know if you've heard the show before,

but you can just do it. Do the showdown. No, all right. No, everybody shut up. It was two rounds ago. All Alright, I'm going to do one This Monday is President's Day, or as liberals call it Not my President's Day

I saw that on Twitter this morning You're going to want to book a double header at the Wellness Center Every time I see somebody tweet that I just picture them going That'll show them That's going to be the one that finally breaks i'm like oh i think they don't like me just reminds me of like 13 year olds going that's not my dad it's like what the fuck you're not my real president yeah like the like the trump tweet responders like at a certain point i'm kind of like what are you guys doing like yeah i'm not right he doesn't know how

to read of it but yeah we all have but it's just like i feel it every time and i'm just like what's going on here this who's this for yeah i tweeted that at him no i'm kidding as you're like quietly deleting tweets under the table yeah um a study you guys know studies a study sex traffic this wasn't the plan to begin with but now it is uh so those studies you know a A study revealed men who want babies typically want less sex. In other news, Keith Carey will never be a father. My boy bones. My man loves to fuck. Hell yeah, dude.

What a roast. All right, time. It really wasn't. That was the first Mexican joke off propping someone else up. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Thanks, man. You know what?

It's the fourth joke. It's time for my bad one. Iceland may become the first European country to ban circumcision. The Surgeon General said in a statement, it's cold. These kids need a jacket. Oh, my God. Yeah, they need a hoodie. I like that one.

For their dong. For their wings. You said it was a bad one. Yeah. Oh, okay. A beefy turtleneck. Here's my bad one. Jennifer Aniston is getting yet another divorce,

proving that her love life is just like her career. She'll never be seen as anything but a friend. Wait, what song are you doing? He thinks he's doing Friends. I thought that was Friends. No one told me that I... Oh, shit. How does it go?

And then they went to Cheers and someone did a Big Bang. Feels like we're fucking in Philadelphia. Oh, a family guy. With Stewie and Sheldon. I am friends with them. Frasier used to be a show on the TV. I don't have a TV. But Tom made it a cartoon at the end.

He said it's Family Guy. Oh, yeah, that's where it fell off the logic train. I've just been reading stupid shit in the middle of the night recently. South Park is kind of my buddies. And I was just reading this whole article. It just was a list of everyone that Jennifer Aniston had ever dated. Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot.

Yeah, I wish her the best. She seems like a nice gal. I kind of feel the same way. She should thank Brad Pitt. They're both attractive. They're both single again, and people are speculating. I've turned into an old gay man in the last three weeks. I haven't told you guys yet.

Here's my thing with Jennifer Aniston. I used to really like her, but at this point I kind of have the same thing. I have a Taylor Swift. I'm like, maybe you're the fucking problem. You know what I mean? Because you've got all the most attractive men lined up and just haven't been able to make it work with any of them. Maybe she knows her worth. Maybe she's like these guys.

I don't think she does. Jennifer Aniston is beautiful. She's got a lot of money. I mean, her worth is definitely getting divorced by Brad Pitt. That is definitely the level she's at. I don't know. From what we hear from Joe Lee, it doesn't sound like he's an amazing guy all the time. Yeah, but I don't know if I believe her.

The thing is, I hate women, you guys. I'm around a lot of LGBT people, and this is the gayest thing I've ever... I'm still a B. Yeah, we're at the Wellness Center, and you're just like, these people are talking about killing themselves, and you guys are just gossiping about it. I was literally listening to the Hairspray soundtrack all morning. I'm still the wellness center And you're just like Oh these people are talking about killing themselves And you guys are just gossiping

I was literally listening to the Hairspray soundtrack all morning I'm still a little gay Yeah Wow that's really gay Yeah I know It's great It's a great musical He's got gayer

Yeah Congrats buddy Leveled up dude Alright this is my bad one In January the Florida school shooter was reported to the FBI Unfortunately he was just reported to the FBI. Unfortunately, he was just reported to some random guy wearing a female body inspector tee. Oh, hell yeah.

That's very Floridian of them. Just presenting him with a dossier and the guy's just like, nice. That's every guy in Florida. Well, yeah. What do you wear to a wedding? A Dutch airline had to make an emergency stop When a passenger was arrested Because they refused to stop farting Even after he was asked to stop

Upon hearing this news Connor McSpadden has opted to drive to Milwaukee For our April tour Yeah, for anybody who doesn't live in this house Who's listening Something is wrong with Connor's butthole And he he has been just consistently farting for the past two weeks. Gang, your boy has been fruity these past few days. Yeah, tropical in this fucking house.

And some of them are just like they're releasing pressure, just like cold wind maintenance farts, but a lot of them are like hot, smelly farts. Yeah, it's invisible diarrhea. Me and Keith were hanging out and working on stuff last night. And I was just like fucking, I was just like tear gassing myself all night. It was fucking brutal. Like I did one in like a high-backed like leather chair, like my office chair in my room. And like I could feel it like rise up my back, go around my shoulders and into my nose.

I want to make the visual picture too that he was also wearing like tank top, big goofy boxer shorts, and black socks like a grandpa. And then he shit a chair. Have you added a lot of fiber to your diet? I did a lot of things. No, he's always farty. It's not a new thing. It's been more than usual lately. It's always more than usual.

What happened to you with the fiber? I think I might be lactose intolerant. A few years ago, I tried to lose weight by adding a lot of fiber to my diet. So you just shit more? No. I ate so much fiber that it went the other way, and I got constipated, and I would just fart for like minutes at a time. It was really good. It actually ripped my asshole a little bit.

So I stopped eating fiber. You actually ripped your asshole? Yeah. My asshole's been in rough shape. Oh, my God. The pressure of the farting. You blew it out like a spare tire. Yeah, yeah. Well, because it's just like it's flapping against itself and that there's going to be friction, you know?

Yeah, exactly. And also it doesn't help that I just like 30 minutes ago wiped my ass with a toilet paper roll because I didn't investigate and make sure we have adequate supplies. So I'm just like using like bare cardboard to fucking scrape shit. How do I have the best butthole here? I shit blood every three months. You know nothing about my butthole. It's great. It's top notch.

Well, yeah, because you're Q-tipping it out with dong every week. No, Keith doesn't. Dude, Robin, will you tell the story on the podcast about what your dad told you about holding in your shit to stay full for longer? Oh, yeah, really you try to save money he said if you you're holding your poops in the extra day the food will last longer because like if i shit right after my meal he would say that that's a waste of money and he would scream at me that's like some shit out of like a fairy tale like that's like a scary

that's like that's like that was on the cutting room floor for a child called It. Well, to this day, I try to save food in weird ways. I've never told anyone this, but if I eat a really expensive meal, I won't brush my teeth because I want to still taste the meal as long as I cook. Isn't that gross? That's insane, but I love it.

I'm going to brush my teeth and taste Crest, you know, when it's been 60 bucks on a... All you should get is some really expensive toothpaste. Oh, that's true. I'm going to brush my teeth and taste Crest, you know, when it's been 60 bucks on a... Yeah, yeah. You know what you should get is some really expensive toothpaste. Oh, that's true. Oh. And to taste that.

Brushing your teeth with caviar. Wow, that's really gross. I don't know why I shared that. I loved it. No, the Mean Boys fans are going to love that. All right. Last run. Closes out here.

Don't freak... Oh, sorry. Every time, Tom. That wasn't even your fault. It's just funny. It's just funny every single time. All right, guys. Great first segment. We're going to keep it rocking and rolling. Yeah, sorry. Every time, Tom. That wasn't even your fault. It's just funny. Every single time. All right, guys.

Great first segment. We're going to keep it rocking and rolling. Yeah, okay. And furthermore, about swans, a point of contention. Don't forget to tweet out about the pig stabbings, people. I'm serious about this. Yes, tweet me about pig stabbings. A pair of identical twin men have proposed to a pair of identical twin women. The foursome has already booked a haunted hotel for their honeymoon.

This is Creepy Twins. I actually, I had a, it's fine. You should have, yeah. False rumors are circulating about white people being attacked at screenings of Black Panther. The white community is outraged, calling black people committing violent assaults in a movie theater an unforgivable act of cultural appropriation. That's our shit. That's our move, man.

The Malaysian government is facing ridicule after it took out a full-page advert act of cultural appropriation. That's our shit. That's our move, man. The Malaysian government is facing ridicule after it took out a full-page advert to celebrate Lunar New Year featuring a barking rooster even though it's the year of the dog. They defended themselves by saying, we thought they would eat up anything that barks. I thought you called it an advert. It's so European.

I know, yeah. A Massachusetts woman chased down a man who cut her off while I thought you called it an advert. It's so European. I know, yeah. Advert. A Massachusetts woman chased down a man who cut her off while driving, then killed him by shooting him in the chest. Driving and shooting. Wow, women really are good multitaskers. Is that a stereotype about women, that they're bad at multitasking? No, they're good at multitasking.

Oh, shut up. I can do the P.T. Barnum, or I fucked up the punchline. It's good as the twin one. Do it. No, I've ruined it now. No, you're going to do it right now. I want to hear it. I'll give it a fair shake.

No, now you won't. Yeah, I will. So about the pigs. Yeah, tweet them. No, it's so not worth it now. So Fergie. A pair of... You guys know Fergie.

A pair of... Of the Fergalicious fame. A pair of... Oh. A pair of identical twins are marrying each other. Marrying another pair of identical twins. Sorry. Marrying each other.

Incestuous twins. Sorry. It's a two. Incest. Twins. A Joseph Mengeala impersonator In Las Vegas tied the knot A pair of identical twins

Are marrying another pair of identical twins The ghost of P.D. Barnum screams I knew my work would live on You're right it wasn't worth it I told you What does that have to do with the circus It's a freak show I like that you stopped to reset yours.

All right, let me get it clean, and you still had an ah in there. You had the ah in the exact same place. I was going to point that out. It's like you wrote it down. I did it. Yeah, that's the space bar on Tom's keyboard. It just writes duh. Guys, that was a lot of fun.

We'll be right back. Fergie, right after this. Pigs! Tweet about the pigs. Hey everybody, I'm Connor McSpadden and this is Sauce, the hottest new show of the summer. Only available right here on the Taco Bell channel.

Today we're going to find out what happens when you mix Taco Bell fire sauce with New York firefighters. Buckle up, it's about to get cheesy. Or saucy. Whatever. We're gonna put hot sauce on people that don't want it to go where we're putting it. Sauce from Taco Bell. There's a whole channel for this. The Taco

Bell channel. We folded over some packets in half and put them under the toilet seat. When the chief sits down, he's gonna be barking like a Dalmatian. Ugh. What? No. You just got sauced. Maybe you shouldn't have sat down to pee like a bitch.

What are you talking about? I have Crohn's disease. I was taking a poop. Who are you? What are you doing? Look at the cameras, Chief. You're on the Taco Bell channel, and now you're gonna have to put out a fire in your pants. I bet the old lady won't be sliding down your pole tonight. Somebody tell the guys the chief is making some chili in his

pants. You got hot sauce from Taco Bell in your pants and on your legs. You've seen a fire hydrant, but how about a fire sauce hydrant? Well, you've seen one now because you sat on one. Whoa, dude, are you alright?

I pulled a dead kid out of a van today, you son of a bitch I came here to collect myself before I had to look her mother in the face Now how about you stand right there You look me in the eyes And you check out the fire sauce hose, bitch! So it looks like our producers had more in store for me than I bargained for. I got countersauced by Eric Stonestreet in disguise. I had to undergo multiple surgeries and months of ocular therapy to regain just a fraction of my vision. Absolutely savage, guys.

You live by the sauce, you die by the sauce. When we come back, we find out what happens when we bring Taco Bell mild sauce to a mild day at the beach. We ordered 26 episodes of this before we really thought everything through, and you can watch them all on the Taco Bell channel. Sauced! It's

sauce time! Saucy! Hey, guys. Pretty funny sketch, huh? Yeah, those mean boys What's not so funny is that Connor, Keith, and Tom Bust their asses Trying to get on retarded projects Like that every single day

Retarded Doesn't it just feel great to say Retarded Now the entertainment industry Is just a two-headed snake consuming itself but also somehow jacking itself off while additionally fucking kids on the dl and for just five dollars a month on patreon you can help secure their independence from this lazy river of shit and give yourself some extra show while you're at it Hey everybody, the Mean Boys podcast is brought to you by Studio Headphones

They're fucking great man, they sound fantastic Unbelievable audio quality Yeah, I don't know why we keep doing this Movie announcer bit in these ads I don't know man, I'm just trying to come up with Something to fill the time, they're good headphones Is the fucking point Oh, you know what, Mr. Ear here Get the fuck out of, dude, I'm just trying to come up with something to fill the time. They're good headphones is the fucking point. Oh, you know what?

Mr. Ear here. Get the fuck out of. Stop it. Stop it at once. Mr. Ear is dead. Studio headphones are great. The Swedish to ergonomically designed. We're in the region right now.

That's the premier over the ear model. Beautiful sound. Beautiful. Unbelievable. I want to fuck the sound in the mouth. That's how Mr. Ear was created. Oh, my God. It's not even funny as an anti joke anymore.

It's just the worst. It actively bothers me. It's not even funny as an anti-joke anymore. It's just the worst. It actively bothers me. It makes the podcast bad and hurts all of our livelihoods. And you can hear all of Cotter's complaints with that crystal clear sound from studio headphones. Shut your cum-guzzling mouth. These headphones have Bluetooth capability. That's right. They sure do.

Or they have a cord. It's a fancy spaghetti cord that does not tangle. It's a flat, beautiful aux cord. Untangleable. The best headphone cord I've ever experienced in my life. I didn't even think of that as an issue, but it's just good. It just works. Yeah, they fixed the problem you didn't know you had. And the battery life in these

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You slide a pair of studio headphones into your loved one's box. You put them in their pussy. You fuck somebody with the headphones. Oh, man. I'm just so traumatized by Mr. Ear. You want to be able to hear music while you're eating her out? Sweden knows a lot about sound. Yeah.

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And you know what? Use your headphones every day of your life. So make an investment in yourself. You're worth it. Or get yourself a fucking amazing gift. One of these boxes was just a sexy box to open i remember being so excited just cracking it open and getting all the little shit out and playing with it and it's just a it's a good investment it's a great gift and it's a an easy way to help with the mean boys

at studiosweeten.com with promo code mean boys you're out and the mean Boys podcast is back After Tom made some kind of weird Non-aggression pact with Robin You should have picked me as an ally What a terrible ally That sounds like something Bane would say Very conditional

Tom has this new thing in the podcast where he thinks people are teaming up on him Which is accurate The better is you are always incorrect and never amenable to the idea that you are right. We always get tweets about shit I got correct and then you guys just never acknowledge it. You're being teamed up on by us and the concept of reality. Yeah, well, yeah, we get tweets about it

because it happens so rarely it's notable when it takes place. There's also a bunch of shit that I've got PM'd about and I didn't fucking shove it in your guys' faces. Show me the PM. I just gotta accept that you guys are just dumb and don't know facts about logic. People also tweet you, that is why, every day, because you're a profound buffoon. Buffoons also are very anatomically similar to people. You're thinking of a baboon?

You red-ass mongoloid. Yeah, your ass is the healthiest when it's encircled by a crown of hair. Well, yeah, I gotta keep it in good operating condition. How am I gonna get this poop to throw it off various birds that have caused me grievance?

Thanks for being on the last ever Mean Boys, Robin. I will hit my horn, lock it, lock my car, then you guys just have to listen to that. God damn it, I fucked that up. The time when I couldn't turn my car horn off. You are digging yourself into such a hole right now. Well, I'm going to dig you guys into a horn. You guys are going to feel me.

We got to get out of this. Here's the best part about this is Robin struggles with driving, and she drove all the way up from Orange County to L.A. to listen to this. We get it, Robin. Stop high-fiving the man who threatened you. I ain't threatened. I just like it when someone likes me.

Yeah, you two assholes. Me and Robin are friends. We like Robin. We booked Robin. I've been trying to book Robin on New Boys for a year and a half. If anything, Robin doesn't like us. No, that's not true. Is it?

Yeah. Just you. No, that's not true. No, you all hate my Facebook persona. Oh, I follow you all the time. Yeah, so I thought you didn't like me, but I realize that they're you. I talk to you all the fucking time. But there's a reality Robin and a Facebook Robin.

Well, no, here's the honest truth about your Facebook persona. I got a Facebook Google Chrome extension I actually learned about from front of the show, Barbara Gray, called Facebook News Feed Eradicator, where it just kills your news feed so you can just use Facebook for messages and posting your own shit. So I just don't see anybody's shit on Facebook. Oh, okay. I just don't go online. I'll periodically go on your Facebook and see what you're up to, because I miss you

and I haven't seen you in a while. Is she going through a nervous breakdown right now? Well, I know that, but I want to see to what degree. Are you mad at white people or are you watching Buffy again? It's one of the two. She's going DEFCON cat woman. I think Keith unfollowed me when I threatened

to just kill politicians. Here's the thing. I've unfollowed and refollowed you a bunch of times. That's okay. It's not even anything specific. I'm usually just like all right i need a minute yeah yeah you're usually not wrong i'm just like oh i need to feel okay no sometimes i go back and read what i wrote and i'm like oh my god this is a terrible person and i forget and i don't realize it's me like i don't look at the name it was funny when you wrote the status but yeah i think we should murder politicians and you're like why are people mad at me?

Rob is just a nuanced person. There's a lot of different shit going on. I'm just calling for the murder of human beings. Yeah, I don't know. I get it. I mean, we've known each other for like six years now. Yeah. We did like our first open mic together, more or less.

So it's like, I get it. I know what's going on. I'm never like that annoyed by it. I mean, sometimes I'll be like, this seems like a lot, but I'm never like, fuck Robin. Yeah, no, it's never out of a place where I'm like, oh, I don't like you. I'm just like, ah. Is this all going to make it in? This is very sweet.

I mean, there's also the fact of like, I just don't know that much about Steve Urkel, you know? Oh, yeah, I've become obsessed with that now. Robin's taught me about the Urkel. The Urkel. He said that like a dumb guy trying to say oracle yeah i talked to the urkel uh yeah i guess the spoon wasn't really there or something yeah he told me i'm the uno steve urkel is a creep on youtube and this is what of stefan or cal i watched like an episode of this what is this so it's just explaining the sex crimes of Steve Urkel?

Yeah. Yeah. To look back at old episodes of Steve. I have episode three coming up. Episode two is really good. Yeah. I was interested. I was like, oh, this is pretty damning evidence.

Wait, this is the thing you're making? Oh, yeah. I've made two episodes already. Oh, my God. I actually want to watch this shit. Yeah. This is like the problem with Apu, but for something nobody cares about. Yeah, Robin, we love you.

Chill out. It's good. All right. We're moving on to our middle game. We're playing Whodunit, one of my favorite games. And what happens here is I tell you a crime, and you have to tell me who the perpetrator of said crime was. We'll take it away. The story that Tom touched upon in the Mexican Joga.

If you didn't get into the details so we can still do it, please hold out until answering until the end if you remember the details. But two blanks on a flight to Amsterdam were grounded, grounded a flight after repeated farting. Now, was that A, service dogs, B, Dutch women, C, teenage boys, or D, Canadian men? Or E, Fergie? Wait, it was who was the farting? Yeah, who are the farters? Okay.

Service dogs, Dutch women, teenage boys, or Canadian men? I gotta say Canadian men. I feel like Canadians just have, like, girthy farts. Yeah, I feel like a lumberjack fart just seems like

it's just, like, stout and proud. Yeah. What do you think, Robin? Yeah, I think Canadian men because it was the most random out of all of them. Yeah, I don't fully remember.

I know it wasn't the dogs. I'm pretty sure it was the Dutch woman, you know? Yeah. I mean, the Dutch invented the Dutch oven. Yeah. And you can take the Dutch, you know, you can take the Dutch out of the oven, but you can't take the oven out of the Dutch. So I'm going to go the Dutch.

Nobody ever talks about the Dutch Holocaust, where Connor had a quesadilla before bed with his girlfriend. The answer was Dutch women. Tom is on the board. Oh, damn. I'm actually expunging that point from the record because you had advanced knowledge. So we'll start with a clean slate. All of the things I'm correct about, I have advanced knowledge. What?

Yes. No, you literally read this news story. Right, right. Oh, I thought you were referencing the Tom doesn't know thing. No, I was just kidding. You get the point. I was just trying to be a dick. Yeah, I have a point.

We've never won a game score on one of these games. Well, I'm winning this one. Continue. Yeah, Tom. Love you guys. Tom's in the lead. Now my whole life is about making sure Tom loses. Ah, this is how I destroy you, Keith.

Bring it. All right, you fucking anime nerd. A blank is making... I've never watched anime. I watch Pokemon, but that's it. Great. A blank is making... I watched Pokemon, but that's it. Great. A blank is making headlines. I feel like you watched that seizure episode and just never came back.

Pokemon? Yeah. I watched Porygon on Anti-Psychotics. It's like a famous thing. There was an episode of Pokemon that got banned because it had a bunch of flashing lights and it gave kids seizures. Oh, nice. He just found out about this. Yeah, it was super effective. He's a huge fan.

I didn't know the flash attack was that powerful. Apparently I was wrong. Well, yeah, I like that episode of Family Matters that makes you transgender in 20 years. Well, yeah, you drink that potion and then you turn into the cool version of you. Oh, this is the cool version? The next segment is Robin's time machine or some bullshit. All right, guys.

A blank is making headlines. Claiming to be a time traveler from the year 5000 who says in the future people live underwater. Now, is that guy A, a weird old white guy, B, a cool young black guy, C, a homeless woman, or D, a robot with a Twitter account? Interesting. I'll tell you the face is blurred out. Okay. I want to say cool young black guy because I feel like that would be, I don't know, I feel like people would be more willing to listen to that. Okay.

I also think it's cool young black guy. I feel like that's something a cool young black guy would say to me. Yeah. Oh, that he's a time traveler? Yeah. He would say a cooler than that. Yeah. I'm not going to do an imitation. Like for real though? he's a time traveler? Yeah. He would say it cooler than that. Yeah, but... I'm not going to do an imitation.

Like, for real, though? That's where you're going to draw the line? I'm traveling through time. Y'all Bambas want to see the future? I am the future. I am future. He's literally odd future. How much does Opie regret teaching us the word Bama?

Because, I mean, we've really ruined that for him. We have. Yeah, yeah. We'll be like, this Bamer. And he'll be like, guys, guys, guys. My whole culture here is being destroyed by you. Are you saying Bama with a hard R? Bammer.

We colonize DC Slack. B was... D. D was a robot with a Twitter account. It's not a Twitter bot. A robot with a Twitter account. Yeah, like a robot that started a Twitter account. I'm going to say the old white guy.

The answer, I regret to inform you, is a weird old white guy. Son of a bitch. Yeah, like a robot that started a Twitter account. I'm going to say the old white guy. The answer, I regret to inform you, is a weird old white guy. Son of a bitch! Oh, wow. Tom Goss is... He's flipping us off. Pulled out some double middle fingers. Not to you, Robin, just to Keith. What? Yeah, Tom never does more posing. What, I got two? Tom never does more posing than when he's on a podcast.

You do a ton of facial expressions for this radio program. Yeah, program yeah yeah well i'm performing for the cameras that might be here someday yeah we do have cameras and uh we're gonna do that soon so stay tuned right number three a blank has refused to cancel their ar-15 gun raffle after the recent school shooting that was like a a gun store in florida b a right wing book club c a little league baseball team or d a christian private school what is a right wing book club i don't know you just read mind comp you feel like they'd be opposed to books yeah well they just uh now if you look at the lobster you see that lobsters hate gays you have any jordan peterson hot takes robin i really

haven't looked into it that much. Jordan Peterson? The lobster guy who was just like, everyone was like, this guy owned the libtard lady. And I watched that interview, and she seemed like she was actually being kind of a dummy. No, yeah. I wish that he was debating someone smart. They take caricatures of liberals and have them go against them. They do that with conservatives. They're just like, you're a mean old white guy.

He's like, well, actually... He's like, well, wait, I don't associate with that person that said that. I'm actually a very nice old white guy. It does kind of suck. You're wrong. There's a conservative person who's actually coherent,

and then they just prop them up against, like, all right, we're going to bring in Chelsea Handler to debate Ben Shapiro, a guy who is a piece of shit, but reads a lot. Yeah, who is a piece of shit but reads a lot. Yeah, very smart piece of shit. Yeah, yeah. Can you real quick just run them one more time?

All right. Is it a gun store in Florida, a right-wing book club, a little league baseball team, or a Christian private school? Little league baseball team. I say gun store in Florida. It's not funny. I just think it's realistic. Yeah. Okay.

I'm going to say books of Christ. All right, guys. The answer. In no way an answer. A little league baseball team. Boom. Oh, my God. Suck it. Bam, bam, bam. You'm going to say Books of Christ. All right, guys. The answer. A Little League baseball team. Boom. Suck it. Bam, bam, bam.

You're still losing. Two to one. Keep the time. We're all losing because of that. I know. It's hard to get excited. Yeah, children, get gone. You know who's losing?

The listeners. Thanks for the money, everybody. A winner of a reality TV show bit a cop after being revived from a drug overdose With Narcan What show did she win? A. Big Brother B. Real World C. Survivor Or D. Fear Factor

Ooh Yeah I like to switch them up sometimes I don't really know any of these shows Well, I'll give you a hint The answer is one of those four shows Now, I know a lot about pig-stabbing mechanics What is Big Brother?

Big Brother is they put a bunch of dipshits in a house that's full of cameras, and they have to manipulate each other to vote each other out. He's going to do this three more times, so I'm just going to go to the bathroom real quick. No, I know Fear Factor. What was B&C? I think I knew one other. Survivor is the one where they have to survive. I know Survivor. Fear Factor is Joe Rogan makes you eat an octopus.

No, I know Fear Factor. What was the other one? Real World. Real World. That's where a bunch of dipshits live in the house, but they don't vote each other out. Okay. I'm going to say Big Brother. Big Brother's kind of a fun show, actually. I wanted to go on Big Brother and just sabotage the whole show.

I'm also going to say Big Brother. It's Survivor, I think. Robin? Yeah, Big Brother. The answer is Survivor. Keith and Tom, tied up. Oh, what? Deuce, deuce, bitch.

Tied up. Oh, man, we got one more question here. Well, good for. The answer is Survivor. Keith and Tom, tied up. Deuce, deuce, bitch. Oh, man, we got one more question here. Good for you for catching up, buddy. Oh, you fucking cunt. All right, guys, the last round. I did. I used fucking and cunt. I've just decided the last round is worth three points, so Robin can come from behind and win. Just to spite you two.

I think we can all agree Robin should not win. This one is called Why Done It. You have to tell me why the person did this. A Santa Ana man punched a 7-Eleven clerk in the face, knocked over a cash register, and threw bananas at everybody. Oh, boy. Now, did he do that?

I mean, I already have a guess. Now, did he do that? Because A, a 75-cent credit card transaction was declined. B, they were out of his brand of cigarettes. C, they wouldn't let him use their bathroom. Or D, because the cashier was a black guy. It's either B or D. If you don't have cigarettes, that's what you would do, right?

Yeah, I mean, that seems rational to me. I've never run out of cigarettes. But that brand loyalty, though, seems unlikely. I would just get a different cigarette. I mean, maybe this man just expects more from his cancer than you. I mean, you're kind of a catch-as-catch can. C was they wouldn't let him use their bathroom. Which, the fact that 7-Elevens don't have public bathrooms, I understand.

I have gotten in a fight with a 7-Eleven clerk over that exact issue. Well, because it's like, where do you shit, man? Do you go to the Arco across the street, you son of a bitch? It was four in the morning in Long Beach. I had to shit so bad,

and I was just like, please let me take a shit. Our fire alarm is going off. Yeah, our smoke detector is going off. It's fine. We will go down with the ship. Which means Obi's

making jerk chicken again. Dude, Obi making jerk chicken was one of the hardest I've ever laughed, because I'm just in my room, and I start crying, and I open the door chicken was one of the hardest I've ever laughed because I'm just in my room and I just, I start crying and I open the door

to this just fucking World War I trench scene. You man was wanting some tropical mustard gas? Yeah, he was like, save yourself. I'm going to say,

it's fine. Yeah, we're fine. Nothing's on fire. Ramsey's probably just making one of his poverty meals where he just throws a quesadilla,

two eggs, and like loose mushrooms into a plate and just like. Yeah, he'll share his third world gumbo with you after this. I'm going to say C.

The bathroom one. Robin Tran. Oh, man. I think he ran out of cigarettes. B. Okay. I'm going to say A. Guys, Tom Goss wins with five points.

Fucking God damn it! Because a 75% credit card transaction was declined. I've been there. I empathize with this guy. I have thrown bananas at people. What would make me most angry in this situation? All right, guys, final bonus round. This is worth a thousand points.

What was he trying to buy? Oh, shit. New batteries for a fucking smoke detector. Is there no multiple choice? I guess I can make one. No, you don't have to. No, I'll think of one right now. Was it A, a hot dog, B, a bag of almond M&Ms, C, a bag of Tonkies, or D, a stick of gum or like a gum pack?

Okay, well, I'm pretty sure it wasn't that one. Yeah, I did my best on the fly because I was like, they don't sell Stingles sticks of gum. I'm really bad at this game because I'm like, oh, he stumbled. It must be that. Yeah, it's B. Which is what it was B? Who cares? I think it's B.

Okay, Robin. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Just guess. I have no idea. No, I lost. You have a 25% shot? Why wouldn't you guess?

Oh, my God, dude. Tom, what do you think? What did you say A was? A hot dog. I'm going to say a hot dog. The answer is the almond M&M's. B, Keith wins. We have a hot dog.

We got 75 cents. You trick, bitch. We tied. No, I won. Yeah, Keith won. I got more. We got the same amount. I know, but shut up.

I win. Oh, okay. Make the rules of your own game. There you go. Yes, that's exactly what happened. This is the first time we've ever kept score with anything. And it was not fun. Never happening again.

You're a cunt. Yeah, and Tom wins. Keith sucks. I got zero points. Yeah, the important thing is you're bad. I'm really bad at this game. You were the best at losing. Aw, thanks, buddy.

High five. Now we're back on. I don't like the alliance. Fuck Keith. This ain't the first time today you didn't pass, I tell you. I'm not okay with LGB, Tom. Okay, for the love of fuck. It's called LGB.

The Mean Boys will be right back after we fix the goddamn fire alarm. Hey, everybody. Keith from the Mean Boys Podcast to remind you that we are, as always, brought to you by Don Carlo's Taco Shop in La Jolla, California. Oh, man. Going on two years of Don Carlo sponsorship, and it feels good because it's a great organization. I say that like they help homeless kids, but it really is. They just feed us for free whenever we're on our way to San Diego. It's our longest sponsor. I say that like they help homeless kids, but it really is. They just feed us for free whenever we're on our way to San Diego.

It's our longest sponsor. They've been here the longest. They make a goddamn good burrito. It's right across the street from the La Jolla Comedy Store. So go see a fantastic show with one of the great comedy store headliners and fucking fuel up beforehand.

Genuinely the best burrito I've ever had. It's so good. It really is. The Carnitas Cali Burrito at the fucking Don Carlos is unfuckable. I remember the first time I was brought there, my friend was like, wait till you have this burrito. I'mitas Cali Burrito at the fucking Don Carlos is unfuckable. I remember the first time I was brought there, my friend was like, wait till you have this burrito. I'm like, dude, it's a fucking burrito.

And then I ate it. I was like, holy shit, this is a fucking great burrito. Yeah. Yeah. And they have so much more than that. All the menu options and catering information are available at eataburrito.com. Jump on over there. Pre-game.

Get excited. You know? And go check them out because they're a good friend of the show. And the Mean Boys podcast is back to play a round of our favorite game, which is the following. Yeah, after, as Keith pointed out, someone fucked up our fire alarm. Yeah, well, yeah, because Ramsey comes in and is like, oh, somebody turned the oven on. And Tom just goes, we have an oven?

I knew we had it. I didn't know it was functional. We all genuinely didn't know it worked. I thought it was like the fridge in the backyard. Like, ah, it's for aesthetic reasons. True story. I feel like our oven would make things colder, and that fridge would make things hotter.

True story. I did not know the light switch in my room worked for like a year. I just had a lamp. How did you not check? Because I flipped it, and i just thought it didn't work but what i didn't realize is that there wasn't a light bulb in the overhead thing and i thought it was just broken because it's like a shitty light switch so i literally lived in there for like a year and i would just use my phone flash light to go turn on my like little like

you know standing lamp yeah yeah so that's the fucking level of i just like this my self-esteem is like that where i'm just like well of course i don't deserve a light switch that's too convenient for me i'm a poor idiot you know i shouldn't deserve a light switch. That's too convenient for me. I'm a poor idiot. I shouldn't have a light switch. Yeah, I figured that out in the basement just recently. Like, oh, I have two light bulbs now. Oh, nice, man.

Well, we're getting into Witch the Fallen. This one comes to us from a Mean Boys early adopter, a good friend of the show, Ethan D. Lawrence on Twitter. He's a British actor. So if you guys need, like, a Jonah Hill type over there in sunny Britain, please hit him up. Oh, yeah, Cass Tom would be good, too. No, no. Ethan works. You do look like a street urchin.

I do think you could have been in like Fagin's gang. Yeah, you look Dickensian. Like you're going to pick a pocket or two or whatever. Please, sir. Let's play the game. Never mind. This is the only time you've tried to get the show moving along quickly and efficiently. That is actively not your job.

Your job is to ruin things. Oh, I have pounds and also weight. Money and weight. English humor. Let him finish. In Britain, this would be hilarious. It sure wouldn't. No, it wouldn't.

Not at all. No, they're really good at comedy there. Oh, according to who? What would Bill Clinton sound if he was British? Britt Clinton. I studied at the Brixton Academy. I studied abroad, too. Cheerio.

Oh, I don't know how to speak this way. That's what your voice should be based on your face. British Bill Clinton is just drunk Scotty from Star Trek. This is very difficult. Hello, computer. You're making so many choices with your mouth, and they're all difficult. Hello, computer. You're making so many choices with your mouth and they're all wrong. Hey, yes.

I don't understand why this podcast isn't more successful. Guys, I really don't. Ethan writes, it's been a while so I thought I'd make another Witch of the Following. Today we're looking at cocktails. All of the parentheses real ones have appeared for commercial sale somewhere in the world. Name and ingredients included. Hope you enjoy. Here we go. Witch of the following is not a real cocktail?

A. Smoker's Cough, that is Jägermeister and mayonnaise. Good God! B. A Queasy Raccoon, Jägermeister coffee and an egg white. C. Mexican Hooker, tequila, Tabasco, and tuna fish juice. Or D. Horse Jizz, that is beer and milk. Yuck! Do you drink, Robin? No, I is beer and milk. Yuck. Do you drink, Robin? No, I can't anymore.

Okay. Yeah. Hey, Alliance. Oh, yeah. We're both too crazy to drink. That's a good Alliance. Yeah, Tom's pancreas went insane. He's got pancreatic madness.

He had a straight jacket on his pancreas. That one with the mayonnaise. That's so fucking gross, dude. I don't remember you getting drunk except for when we were all first starting comedy at Steve Carey's house parties. it on his pancreas. That one with the mayonnaise. That's so fucking gross, dude. I don't remember you getting drunk except for when we were all first starting comedy at Pete Carey's house parties. At the Pay the Rent mic. Yeah, yeah.

Trying to kiss every girl and not knowing what no meant. In your underwear, pouring a bottle of water on yourself like the saddest version of fucking Flashdance. And I was calling someone a whore while I was doing it. Oh, I remember. Yeah, yeah. In your underwear. Those were good times.

I was just like 19 and I was like, I've never been outside beforeore while I was doing it. Oh, I remember. In your underwear. Those were good times. I was just like 19. I was like, I've never been outside before. This seems like a lot. Is this what being grown up is? I'm afraid I might like it. I don't know. I've made a lot of phone calls to apologize and atone for that one night. Yeah, you had a good set, though.

Yeah, you were hilarious. Well, I'm a genius, you know? It doesn't mean that I'm not fucking crazy. That's the most annoying thing about Robin is she's so good at comedy. And you're just like, you had a good set, though. Yeah, you were hilarious. Well, I'm a genius, you know? It doesn't mean that I'm not fucking crazy. That's the most annoying thing about Robin is she's so good at comedy. And you're just like, you bitch. How dare you? Fuck you.

You're just so natural. No, yeah, I'll go up seven times a year. Robin told us... Every time it'll be the best set anybody ever had. Yeah, Kay said that I could go do the best comedy that anybody ever did. Yeah, I figured I'd have to drive to Brea, so now I'm the mayor.

Yeah, Robin told us about a joke she didn't want to do outside, and I was like, I would fucking kill you for that joke. And not just because it would make me hard. Thank you, guys. I didn't know what you were saying. I didn't know I sounded like British real quick. Keep it out of here.

Okay, so wait for the following. Can you run through them one more time really quick? I forgot. All right. Smoker's coffee,

Jägermeister, mayo, Queasy Raccoon, Jägermeister coffee, and egg white, Mexican hooker, tequila, Tabasco, and tuna fish juice, and horse jizz,

beer, and milk. B is the only one I would actually drink, and I think that's the fake one. I'm going to say B. Okay. Robin. Robin's going A. Tom Goss. I was thinking A or C, and since you said A, I'm going to say C.

The answer, B, the queasy raccoon. Keith Carey on the board. I knew about the Mexican hooker and the horse jizz. I knew about the Mexican hooker. Yeah. It's just my nanny. Round number two. A, infected whitehead, vodka, tomato juice, and cottage cheese.

Dude. B, dirty blue cheese martini, vodka, olive juice, and blue cheese. C, pickle dick, rum, pickle juice, coke, and sriracha mayonnaise. Or D, cement mixer, Irish cream, and lime juice, which curdles in your mouth. I've had that before. I'll ruin it and say that's real. Okay. Yeah, it's fucking gnarly.

That sounds horrible. Yeah, it's not good. I don't know why people do it. It was a very popular thing with the fucking deep OC chuds I was hanging out with when I worked at Disneyland. Oh, yeah? Yeah. God damn it.

This all sounds like shit my stepdad would have drank because he was really into Clamato. Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah, that's a weirdly popular drink, a specific blend of trash person. It's just clam and tomato and gin. I saw that. Like, they have, like, Bud Light Clamato at 7-Eleven. Oh, God.

That sounds so fucking gross. Yeah, it's really fucking gross. All those awful names have to be real. You know, Mexican Hooker, Pickled Dick. Yeah. I'm Pickled Dick! Yeah. I was going to say, I'm Pickled Dick.

Yeah. This shit just sounds like it. Ace Hole and Pickled Dick. Really rot your fucking insides. Yeah A pickle dick Yeah I was gonna say A pickle dick Yeah This shit just sounds like Ace hole and pickle dick Really rot your fucking insides Like I just like I get fucking nauseous Thinking about this shit God damn it

Sriracha mayo This is a guy who doesn't eat soup So this is a tough thing for me to read Keep leaving those iTunes reviews 250 and Connor's gonna eat soup On the air It looks like it's gonna be Clown chowder

Which I'm fucking dreading You guys I do not wanna do that The Cadillac of soup I'm okay if this show Stays unpopular If I don't have to eat soup Hit The Cadillac of soup. I'm okay if this show stays unpopular, if I don't have to eat soup. Hit me with A and B one more time.

A was an infected whitehead, vodka, tomato juice, and cottage cheese. B was a dirty blue cheese martini, vodka, olive juice, and blue cheese. I think it's A. I think it's A also. I'm going to say C. The answer's C, a pickled dick.

Tom Goss. My theory sucks. I kind of thought it might be C, because sriracha mayo seems too fancy for this. Yeah. Yeah, but pickles, they dooss. My theory sucks. I kind of thought it might be sick, because Sriracha mayo seems too fancy for this. But pickles, they do a lot of pickle bullshit. Yeah, I don't like pickles. Somebody tried to get me to do a pickle back a bunch of times, and I was like, fuck that.

What the fuck is a pickle back? It's like some weird thing where you shoot whiskey, but then you eat a pickle, and that's supposed to be... I don't know how you chase it. It makes it whiskey better? Yeah, pickle whiskey. Yeah, okay. The pickle phenomenon you know pickle phenomenon the pickle phenomenon yeah just drink the fucking drink why do you got to throw in all these weird

i like that we're all just getting very angry at this yeah all right round number three why is there food in this edition wait now we're getting to the one where there's questions yeah a mac martini and cheese shut up get the fuck out of this house. Yeah. A classic martini with a cheese sauce drenched macaroni in it. Fuck you. B, eggermeister, a pickled egg soaked in eggermeister like you didn't already know. Oh, my God.

C, chicha, corn soaked in human saliva. Or D, lucky martini, classic martini filled with lucky charms and marshmallows. I have to say C because I can't believe that's a real thing. Oh, that fucking. Human saliva. I'll be straight up. That Lucky Charms martini sounds kind of good. Yeah, that's.

I could see that being tasty. You know what I mean? I mean, it's hard to fuck up like cereal. Yeah, if you use like a vanilla, like sort of like liquor for it, then it's like, oh, it's sweet and tastes like a bowl of cereal. That makes sense to me. What was A again? A was McCartini and cheese.

I need that to be fake. I'm going to say macartini and cheese. You need that to be more fake than the human saliva someone spits in it? Yeah. Look, if you're going down this rabbit hole, you deserve human fluids. But mac and cheese didn't do anything wrong. I also think it's A. Okay. Robin, what do you think? It's the human saliva one, C, I think.

The answer is A. Oh, no! You guys are really back and forth, man. We're tied again. Yeah, you're tied again. Bring the ruckus, son. The ruckus is here. I got a delivery

of a ruckus that I... It's not for me. I'm going to take this ruckus back to the post office Return to sender Alright, round number four A. Bloody tampon That is whiskey, tequila, tomato juice, lemon juice, and Irish cream Go fuck yourself B. The giggling Yoda

Chopped pears, lime juice, vodka, grape, and mint C. The Boston Tea Party Vodka, Earl Grey tea, and lemon juice Or D. Alligator sperm Midori, pineapple juice, vodka, grape, and mint, C, the Boston Tea Party, vodka, Earl Grey tea, and lemon juice, or D, alligator sperm, Midori, pineapple juice, and cream. That actually sounds pretty good. Alligator sperm is just a fun name. What's up? What was it? Earl Grey lemon and whiskey?

Yeah. That sounds good to me. No, I think it was vodka. I just feel like the Earl Grey flavor is going to be completely overpowered by whiskey. I feel like you're not even going to taste it. Well, it depends how you... It seems like an Irish coffee type thing where you're really just putting booze in a caffeinated drink. Yeah.

To get you rolling. I'm going to say it's B, the Giggling Yoda. I think it's A, too many ingredients to tamp on one. Yeah. I'm going to say D. All right, the answer is C. Oh, guys. It's coming down to the wire.

Round number five. All real or all fake. A, Skin. It's coming down to the wire. Round number five. All real or all fake. A. Skin sorcerer. Tequila. Blair's ultra death sauce. One of the hottest commercially available hot sauces. Lime juice topped with lemonade. B. Vlad the inhaler.

Vodka, tomato juice, and applewood smoke served with an impaled olive. C. Dr. Seuss martini. Classic martini mixed with green food dye and garnished with a bacon rasher. Or D. The Comedian's Comedian, vodka and Gooster Bitters, lime juice and salt. The Comedian's Comedian sounds like something they serve at the Improv.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Or get the Headliner Burger. Or he's trying to impress you guys. I think they're all real. I think so, too. I'm going to go all real also. Oh, guys, those are all fake. Oh! The level of detail he put into that. Oh, yeah, that was impressive.

Goddamn, we got game theory. This guy's clearly like a booze nerd. Well, yeah, and that was fucking really smart because he didn't swing too hard on those. No, none of them were too outlandish. None of them were like, the Keith's dick, a bunch of cum,

a fucking, his mom's pussy juice. A Soussante of poop. Vodka. Tom's brain. A retarded olive. A big dumb toothpick. And Keith's mom's pussy juice.

The Connor McSpadden. Clam chowder. A Yu-Gi-Oh card. Keith's mom's pussy juice. Robbins with a pickle shaped like a question mark. He writes, best of luck with the tour. Fuck everything God has done. Thank you, Ethan.

Follow Ethan on Twitter. And hey, if you want to send us a game of which of the following, we're running a little low. So please hit us up at MeanBoysPodcast at gmail.com or on the contact page of our website, MeanBoysPodcast.com. And we'll be right back with your questions, your voicemails, all that shit right after this. Well done, Ethan. Here on the Mean Boys Podcast, oftentimes we say a lot of very upsetting things. So we want to take you down to a little lane called Poetry Lane for Tom Goss' Poetry Corner. Your skin is coarse, uneven, like a snowy path that is often traveled.

Your hair is thin, wispy, looking unloved. Your legs are mostly the shoes you walk in. Short, different lengths, hairy. Your rear is no more pronounced than your front. Unsensual, unappealing. Your personality is like a salmon swimming upstream, but it's not smart enough to realize the rest of the fish are absent. You strike me for no reason. You only smile at at my suffering But your titties are fucking awesome Thank you You are more beautiful than I could ever describe I can never live without you

Please never leave my side You give me hope when I'm hopeless You give me love when I deserve none In a world full of darkness You've become my only son Your whispers tickle Your shouts soothe Your laughter rings

And your words make me move But you're too close to your parents Stop telling them about our relationship It's really annoying I'm not dating your fucking mom Roses are red Violets blue. Or are they violet? Orchids are a variety of colors. Some flowers are yellow, except for motivational posters where a bunch of them are black and white, but one is yellow to teach you about individualism. I'm talking about flower colors because I'm

stalling to say I don't love you anymore. I don't know what color daisies are. Is a piccadilly a flower or is it like a flute? Maybe it's both. Gerber daisies sound like a diaper brand. Please don't break all my shit when you read this. That was Tom's Poetry Corner. And now, back to the podcast. And the Mean Boys podcast is back.

Dipping into the Mean Boys mailbag. At Cliftonial writes, What animal design a la the Trojan horse would be the most successful in smuggling a contingent of Greek warriors into the Mean Boys bunker? Definitely not a water and power van. I don't know. We'll see that coming. Yeah, yeah. Maybe Opie and Ramsey are always getting vague, loose packages, so maybe just come in in a

UPS box. Food truck. We'd all fall for it. Oh, yeah. Leo's is opening up right across the street. No way. We know this is a trap, but we need snacks. Yeah, because Opie always gets boxes of Supreme hoodies.

Opie gets a new box of clothes every day. I think one of those, we can get a bunch of tiny Greeks in there. Yeah. Not an animal in any way. Yeah, yeah. Or maybe just, I don't know, what? Our food stamps is going up. Oh, no.

All right, guys. Are you guys ever planning to come back to Harbor, Oregon? It's not on fire anymore. I forgot there was one guy that planning to come back to Harbor, Oregon? It's not on fire anymore. I forgot there was one guy that wanted to see us in Harbor, Oregon. But then Keith and I were like halfway up the freeway. And I get a message. He's like, yeah, the town is on fire. The show is canceled.

I'm looking into it because I'm going up towards like Super NorCal at the end of May. And I'm going to try and get out to Harbor. So I'll keep you guys posted on that. Yeah, and a weird dude who bought a shirt at Ross so he could spray paint it in Ukiah at that bowling alley. Yeah, you're that Ukiah guy. I'm coming back. Yeah, shout out to that guy. Yeah, I should reach out because I love that show.

Yeah, Tom was great. That was a fun time. That was when I took Tom. We did that show in a casino, like a bunch of shitty gigs. And Tom was like, you get hotels in your gigs? Yeah, the amount of times I slept in cars and people's couches and dog beds. It's fucking crazy. I remember when we were going to a show and Tom was like,

oh, I did that show a few months ago. They gave me the greatest hotel in the world. It was a Motel 6. It was a great Motel 6. It's a Motel 6 with a banda band playing directly behind my room. I was smoking a cigarette looking over the balcony at Connor's room and I saw next door to

Connor's room a full-on drug deal happening. Oh, yeah. And while I was smoking a cigarette looking over the balcony at Connor's room, and I saw next door to Connor's room a full-on drug deal happening. Oh, yeah. And while I was listening to... Yeah, fucking all night long until like 2 in the morning, like closing time. Mariachi fucking blasting. Closing time. Shut your fucking mouth. Yeah.

My favorite is when me and Tom were out on the road, and I think we were in Kansas? No, we were in Arkansas, and Tom threw out his back. And tom like not able to move correctly just just waddling like so like like tom is just like sleeping like a like a corpse on this couch and i had to push an ottoman up into a into like a recliner and i was like sleeping like on the ottoman and the recliner just like curled up you know it was very adorable yeah well i asked if my back was in so much pain. I asked Connor, like, hey, could I have the bigger couch? Because I can't sleep in a place that's not. Like, I can't not lie down.

I'm in too much pain. Yeah. And Connor, like, fell asleep on the couch just because it was late and it wasn't on purpose. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, fuck, okay. And I tried to sleep on the recliner. Like, oh, fuck, I can't do that. So I tried to sleep on the real cleaner like oh fuck i can't do that so i try to sleep on

the floor and i was in so much pain i couldn't get off the floor i was then i woke up and i had to try to like prop tom up and like lift him up so much and you and you just you were just like just full of like fucking road food and you're so hurt and it's just like it was just like a like like the sword from the stone moving you earlier in that night, some mom tried to help by shoving cannabis oil into my mouth directly with her thumb. Yeah, like she was trying to give a dog medicine is how she just slathered Tom's gum with CBD oil. And one of my favorite moments. And Tom was just going like. I was like, oh, thank you for the oil.

No, thank you for the thumb. And my favorite moment is me and Connor were on the couch. And there's this puppy. The puppy's teething. He's just dying on stuff. And the guy goes, you can just push the dog away. And Connor grabs it with one hand and just kind of chucks it straight into the ottoman. And it, like, bounces off.

You threw a dog. And Connor just looks terrified for a second. We both look at each other and start fucking laughing. Well, dude, Tom described it. You threw that dog like it was a piece of gum. The dog was fine. It wouldn't be funny if the dog was not completely fine. But just the way

it landed, bounced off the ottoman, and then it was so funny. You cruel animal fuck. What's the worst place you've ever slept? Oh, those weren't the worst places. I'm agoraphobic, man. I don't leave my house. After I drove here and I drive back, I'm going to be a little traumatized.

I don't have to lay down in bed for three days. I listen to all these stories. I'm like, if I performed in Oregon for one day, it would be a month on the couch. Just like, oh, I can't leave the house, babe. Oregon was just being there away from home yeah there's a different two-letter thing i had to put next to where i was it was a lot yeah all right uh jesse wagner writes who are your comedy heroes which comedians do you think should be bigger than they are oh i know i know the comedians should be bigger i just did a weekend with mike

menendez and brian simpson those guys are very funny i think tony i don't understand why tony baker isn't the most famous person ever he's's so funny. He's one of my favorites. Comedy heroes, all the usuals. I don't know. What do you guys think? Yeah, I'm kind of – yeah, it's – I mean Patton is probably the number one for me. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, yeah, I really like – yeah, I'm trying to think of someone that maybe not as many people have heard of. Yeah. But a lot of the people that were like lower the list. Isaac Hirsch is very funny. Yeah. I'm more interested in that and who are the lower level. Because Heroes, it's like, wow, does the world need three more white guys to just yell about, like, George Carlin was great, though!

Yeah, dude, I love Doug Stanhope. People shit on Carlin all the time. Yeah, I will echo Brian Simpson is one of my fucking... He's fantastic. If you have a chance to see him. Kyrie Shabazz, my buddy, is very good. Yeah, that dude's real good. Yeah. Robin Tran.

Eh. I'm a big fan of myself. I listen to my own comedy a lot. That's not a joke. I have an iPod playlist of my own comedy sets. Robin's the fucking weirdest person. And it has nothing to do with being transgender. You just have the strangest behaviors.

And I still hate myself. You're like, I've seen every episode of 24, 19 times. I'm afraid to leave my home. Well, probably because you think there are terrorists everywhere. You are like upsettingly like unconfident and disgustingly confident all at once. Yeah. I have a narcissistic personality disorder, I think. Truly a horrible person.

Horatio Von Zipper writes, what is bravery in your own definition? Do you think you exhibit bravery in your day-to-day life? I wonder why he asked that question. I'll answer this one. No. I think bravery is being a cisgendered white man who still tries to make it in show business.

No, I don't think I am. Hey, Opie. I don't think I'm brave, no. Yeah, me neither. I don't think I'm brave, no. Yeah, me neither. I forget it. I think being called brave is kind of an insult when you're transgender also. Because it's like, oh man, you're so brave because you kind of still look like a dude and you're out in public.

It's kind of like a reaffirmation that you don't pass. Yeah, it's kind of rude. Here's your you're not pulling it off trophy. Yeah, it's like you want to hear like you are a coward. You are doing such a good job, bro.

Yeah, exactly. How dare you? Bravest code for can't afford the surgery. Yeah, I don't know. I don't really give a shit about answering this question. I mean, I don't give a shit

about any of these questions. What are you guys' favorite cartoons? And if you have a favorite anime, what is it? Anime is stupid. King of the Hill is great. Yeah about any of these questions. What are you guys' favorite cartoons? And if you have a favorite anime, what is it? Anime is stupid. King of the Hill is great.

Yeah, King of the Hill. I like anime. I like Dragon Ball. The only anime I ever liked was Pokemon as a kid. Cowabunga. All the basic shit. Yeah. I don't got any cool.

G Gundam actually is the best anime ever because it's a perfect government system. Really? Do they have Charmanders in there? We've talked about this. I love it. But Earth is destroyed. All right. All have Charmanders in there? We've talked about this. I love it. But Earth is destroyed. All right. All the poor people live on Earth.

Everyone else lives in space. And each country sends a racist version of all stereotypes about themselves in the form of a giant robot to fight on the destroyed Earth. And then the winner gets to rule space for the next year. And honestly, that is way... But that combines the Olympics and war and everything. Racism. If we had that, it would be, yeah, because Mexico Gundam is just like, I fell asleep.

You beat me. I rubbed tequila. I'm the Canadian Gundam. Don't you know? I'm going to choo-choo. This is a North Dakota Gundam I'm doing right now. Sorry. Yeah, you get it.

And it's just a lumberjack. And it's great. And I think if we did that, I think, honestly, things would be a lot better. Yeah. So G Gundam. Yeah. No, I bet the answer to all the world's problems is a giant robot fight. Yeah.

I agree. That's exactly what we're saying. All right, guys. We've got some voicemails here. Oh, no. Good morning. It's me. I'm just leaving a voicemail because I've never left a voicemail

because I've never left a voicemail before this is my first ever voicemail I'm sleepy right now I'm in bed with my dog hold on I want a copy of this voice now please Did you just fart on the phone?

Yeah I think that's Catherine Walters Our dominatrix Left that So that is a dominatrix fart Thank you for that There's a dominatrix left that. So that is a dominatrix fart. Thank you for that. Non anything. I'm technically speaking.

Thanks for creating negative space. Here's my butt. I drank a lot of codeine. You can hear the sound of just the entertainment value vacuuming out of the show. Oh, yeah, absolutely. We actually got an email from ShortBusMurphy. Oh, no. He follows up after he told us about how special people fucked last week. He says, thanks for putting up with all my rambling. I'm sorry I disturbed you guys like that. Believe me, dude,

that was my lighthearted work story. There's stuff I've seen or heard firsthand accounts of that will ruin your head. Shit gets super dark around here. And then he says, yeah, I'm sorry you guys aren't coming to upstate New York, but yeah, we'll get up there eventually. So thank you, Short Bus Murphy. We've got one more voicemail.

I don't know how good this is, but we're going to check it out. Hi, Mean Boys. This is Josh from CT. My question is how does Keith Carey get so much pussy or butt as well? A few episodes ago you stated he's warm and tenacious, but is there anything you can elaborate further on than that? Huge fan.

Suck you guys out coming to CT, but thanks for producing these hilarious episodes, and have a wonderful day. I got this exact same question at the comedy story last night. Someone came up to me and was like, what's Keith doing? I was like, I think he's Someone came up to me, and they're like, what's Keith doing? I was like, I think he's on a date or something.

And she was like, how does Keith fuck so much? And I'm like, I don't know. He's charming. He's got a big dick. Here's the deal, man. It's like the rumors of my fuckery I think have been mildly exaggerated. Yeah, mildly. I don't fuck that much.

I mean, I don't know. I don't know what the national statistics are on this. If you're looking for advice on how to do well with the women or dudes or whoever, I don't know. I don't know what, like, the national statistics are on this. If you're looking for advice on how to do well with, you know, the women or dudes or whoever, just, I don't know, just be cool. Be chill. Don't act like you're trying to fucking pull one over on them because everybody can smell that from a mile away. Yeah. He's very upfront. Yeah.

Well, that's the thing, like, with, you know, with, like, Tinder and stuff. Like, I talked to some people who were like, oh, I got to, like, you know, like that we're going to go hang out on this day because maybe she'll want to fuck. I'm like, chicks like to fuck too. Like, don't be a creep about it, but have like a human conversation. And if they want to fuck, they'll let you know. Yeah. Like it's out there. And, you know, just be cool.

Have no expectations. You know, go have fun with people. Go meet people. Also, except that like not fucking somebody doesn't mean you lost if you like hung out and had drinks with a cool person. Like that was worth doing. Yeah. Don't take your shirt off and pour water on yourself and call everyone. Yeah, do everything Robin Tran does, and you will get laid a bunch.

Yeah, so I don't know. Just be cool, man. Just be chill. And yeah, start a podcast. So at the very least, you can get another listener every time you have an aborted Grindr hookup. Hello. I just start reading a list of names. Yeah, yeah. Keith has really fucked the numbers way up. time you have an aborted grinder hookup hello i just start reading a list of names yeah yeah

keith has really fucked the numbers way up now i i feel bad because i don't like i was told recently on a date with a girl where she's like yeah you have a reputation for like being a ladies man i'm like oh no like i don't want i don't have a reputation yeah well no you're uh you're you're like a pussy hustler i'm also a gentleman's man, but mostly a lady's man. I have a reputation for being a lady man. Hey-o. Home run. Good alliance. Good alliance.

That's our show for this week. Robin, thank you for coming in. You got anything you want to plug? The podcast, Gossip Transperson Anything. Gossip Transperson Anything. Check out Steve Urkel as a creep. I'm doing a new show coming up called Robin Ru ruins your childhood where i will be reviewing old classic movies i'll watch them for yeah i do enjoy your indictment of like the white 90s nostalgia

yeah and because you just did not have access to that as a person who is told to hold in their poop to stay full for longer that's basically it is me watching as an adult going what the fuck is this and enraging people yeah yeah and uh and on march 15th invite me on for your yugioh episode i'll get you an open letter written about you i'll come yell with you about the goonies raging people. Yeah, yeah. And on March 15th... Invite me on for your Yu-Gi-Oh! episode. I'll get you an open letter written about you. I'll come yell with you about the Goonies. On March 15th, Kate and I will be doing The Unconventional Lesbians at Direct Room in Huntington Beach at 8 p.m.

Nice! Yeah, go to that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a good show. All right, guys, we're going on tour. You already know it. We're going to fucking Chicago, Milwaukee, Fort Wayne, Indiana, Detroit, Pittsburgh, Philly, D.C DC and New York City, Cleveland as well, tickets for that are just about

all up on MeanBoysPodcast.com we're still waiting on Pittsburgh, some of those ticket links aren't live yet because of the venues, so hop on the email list, you'll be the first to know, that's all there on the website, MeanBoysPodcast.com as for myself, this weekend I'll be headlining comedy off Main Street in Mesa, Arizona those will be some fun shows, doing some new

material, it'll be a good time. And I'll be up in San Francisco the week after that, so check my Twitter and my Facebook for more specific show dates, but I'd love to see some of you guys up there. I don't have my schedule in front of me, but I have some fun dates coming up in L.A. before we go on tour, so follow me on Facebook or Twitter or all that jazz and find out more about those.

Oh, yeah, I'm also headlining Ontario Improv March 20th. If you're in SoCal, come out. That'll be a lot of fun. I don't know who else is on it, but it'll be a good time. I'm coming to Kansas at some point in March, so if you're in Kansas, stay tuned. March 8th, I'll be at the

Good Night in North Hollywood. The 18th of March, I'll be at the Verdugo Bar in Los Angeles. 24th, I'll be at the Comedy Palace in San Diego. And the 31st, I will be at the Hideaway in Riverside. Oh, and April 3rd, Crisis Comedy at Holy Grounds. Hell yeah.

All right, guys. Great show. That's it. Fuck everything. God is dead. Bye.