Mean Boys - EP 118 - Queef Jerky (feat. Nicole Becannon)

Episode Date: March 22, 2018

We're going on tour, come see us! Most ticket links are live, if they're not, jump on our email list: http://meanboyspodcast.com Support the show on Patreon: www.patreon.com/meanboys This week’s segments include “Mexican Joke Off”, "New Names", "The Great Machine", and a game of "Which of the Following" with Canadian hockey teams by Cali Velazquez. Fuck with the new Mean Boys subreddit: www.reddit.com/r/meanboys/ Subscribe to our YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/channel/UC0hvkj7TOPzMdJbKIh1L_hw Shop Sudio headphones and use promo code "MEANBOYS" for 15% off all purchases: goo.gl/JWBAJK Contribute to the Mean Boys wiki: mean-boys.wikia.com/wiki/Mean_Boys_Wiki Send us an email at [e-mail] or leave us a voicemail at [phone] We are proudly sponsored by Don Carlo's Taco Shop in La Jolla California (www.eataburrito.com) Follow our guest Nicole Becannon on Twitter: twitter.com/nicolebecannon Follow the show on Twitter: twitter.com/meanboyspodcast Follow Keith on Twitter: twitter.com/keithtellsjokes Follow Connor on Twitter: twitter.com/connormcspadden Follow Tom on Twitter: twitter.com/gossgoss6 Visit us on the web: www.meanboyspodcast.com Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/meanboyspodcast Follow us on Instagram: instagram.com/meanboyspodcast Follow us on Soundcloud: @meanboyspodcast Theme: I’ve Seen Footage by Death Grips (itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-mon…tore/id515449028) Buy Keith’s album (itunes.apple.com/us/album/forever-nap/id1105182043) Podcast logo by Luis Galvez: twitter.com/luiagal Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sup you naughty bitch, it's the Mean Boys Podcast. What, what? Oh, we're sorry, sorry, okay. Yeah, uh, Nicole Buchanan is our week, is our guest. Is our week this guest. Nicole is our week guest. Say hello, Nicole Buchanan. Oh, hey, what's up? Nicole's hanging out for the intro.

Yeah, we ate ice cream, all of us. Yeah, we went through the ice cream truck. That guy had a weird voice. Everyone kind of just... No, he just had a Hispanic accent. No, he was... He did that stuff. Yeah, we got ice cream from a Muppet earlier.

He did say after we were done ordering... Everybody happy. Everybody happy. And we had all of a sudden been talking about how bad our lives are. And we're like, yeah, we're happy, man. Yeah. Everybody adequate. So, yeah.

So why don't you leave us a review on iTunes? What a segue. This guy writes uh corn chowder god is the biggest dick in the universe why are the quote mean boys given so much credibility and whatever they vomit forth from their nihilistic mouths is continuously and endlessly quotable i say fuck you all of them you're not the boss of me five stars this is like you just like who are you mad This feels like you tried to make a computer talk like a Rick and Morty fan. Yeah, I think he doesn't like us, but maybe like, I don't know, whatever, you're rated

at five stars, so either way. Yeah, when we get to 250 reviews, I will eat soup on the show. The reviews have been skyrocketing upwards. Special off my cameo by Opie wearing sunglasses and a cool jacket. It just popped in looking like a fucking guy. He's in a music video. Why are you wearing a construction person sweater? He's wearing an orange hoodie.

Yeah, that's the construction. Okay. Are you worried about drowning? Yeah, I wouldn't go on boats if I were you. I like your glasses. That turned into a racist joke, and I was literally just thinking about why you would wear orange. Oh, I was just trying not to address the racial implications. Yeah, that was an accident, guys.

I'm taking the color back. Opie's taking the color back. Oh, fuck. If you want to hear some more, Opie's on a couple of Patreon bonus episodes. Those are only five bucks. You've got a whole big backlog of Mean Boys to dig into, and it helps us out quite a bit, guys. That's a big part of our income now,

and it's all because of you guys, and we really do appreciate it. $10 a month gets you a little Mean Boys swag pack. This month, we're doing buttons. Three one-inch buttons with each of our dumb faces on it. I made it look like we're like communist dictators or something. Which dictator am I? The retarded one. Fat Hitler.

And yeah, other than that, please follow the new Mean Boys subreddit. The subreddit is Bumpin' and Jumpin'. I made a Tom Guy Reddit avatar. Which I thought was someone else, but it wasn't. No. Yeah, it was actually me. Yeah.

Great. And we are going on tour. You know where I've never been? Tell them about those dates. Shut up. We've got to get through this thing. Milwaukee, Chicago, Fort Wayne, Detroit, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Philly, D.C., New York City. We're going to all those places.

All those ticket links are up now on MeanBoysPodcast.com. You can also jump on the email list, get yourself updates for anything going down in your city and just the latest and greatest in Mean Boys world. I haven't been to most of those places. I'm very excited. Wow, cool, man. So buy the tickets. It'll be a great show.

Tom's coming until he gets arrested, which I think is going to happen somewhere around Fort Wayne is my guess. The air over Nevada headed to Milwaukee. Yeah, did you know they had to happen somewhere around the air over Nevada, headed to Milwaukee. Yeah, did you know they had ground marshals in the air now? Yeah, I thought they were subterranean. Anyway, I got the Benz. I tried to skydive. Oh, land first.

They got to technically land before they can arrest me. That's just gravity. They're going to have a refueling plane come up and drag you down to the earth with them. Yeah, so get on the Reddit. It's fun. Talk to each other. I posted the video of the guy eating dog shit, so you can go check that out. That was fun.

That is dog shit. That is dog shit. Like us on fucking Facebook. We don't use Facebook. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter and subscribe to the YouTube and make the numbers bigger so we look good. Cool. Podcast.

Here it is. Put it in your face. Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Mean Boys Podcast. You're born alone and you die with a nurse that's just thinking about what she's going to eat on her lunch break. I'm Connor McSpadden. I'm Keith Carey. I'm Tom Goss. And I'm...

Cindy Lou Who, she dropped out of community college. Yeah, you are kind of like a methadone who. Yeah, you all get Dr. Seuss nose. Like those teacup people. I think their noses were cute. They were cute. Sorry, Tom, explain yourself. Those are the people who wear teacups as hats and shit, right? I don't know who's.

What? What the fuck are you even kind of talking about? You're talking about the Grinchies, right? The Grinch people? Yeah. And they wear teacups as hats? They were like, I have a top hat with dinner plates. I'm going to pull up a picture of every who ever drawn.

Here's the problem is I know Tom is going to end up being right, and I'm going to be very upset. All right, I'm just going to look up the pictures of who's. While you're doing that, Nicole Buchanan is here in the studio. Thank you for coming in. Also, I'm probably the only one here who didn't drop out of community college. That's true. You went to a real college. I did.

Where'd you go to college? I went to UCLA. You think you're fucking better than me? You're a guest on my podcast. Well, look where it took you. I dropped out of special ed. I'm so right here, baby. Stop trying to pull loser rank on Nicole.

I dropped out of special ed. Don't you dare give me special ed. After I got dropped on my head. And then the Grinch gave me some cookies and sent me to bed. Look at the live action Grinch. It's not going to make a fucking difference, Tom. We're going deep on the Grinch canon. It's not deep.

It was the movie. If it's not deep, how come we're a full Google search in and we haven't found it? Yeah, wow, look, there's Cindy Lou Who. In no way does she have a fucking teacup on her head. Most people have teacups. Well, Tom, I can't find every... No, they don't.

They simply do not. You're incorrect, my friend. Tom? All I heard was that I'm adorable. No, incorrect. You've started the teacup war, Nikhil. I don't know... Nikhil?

You started the teacup war. You can tell Tom knows he's... The greatest conflict ever to grace the show. You can tell Tom knows he's fucked when he develops this weird, vaguely British accent. That's just... Tom is for sure going to be like, oh, I was thinking about one of the deleted scenes from Despicable Me 2. Oh, shit. Oh, I was thinking of that time I put a cup on my head.

I didn't see the second Despicable Me. Even your mohawk looks frayed. You look like a mad scientist. I am so fucking tired, and I'm going to be extra nonsense-based today. But I know my who's, all right? I'm telling you, they wear silverware and shit. All right. Tom has all hopped up on his new favorite thing, Girl Scout cookie flavor Dunkin' Donuts coffee. Oh, my God. Yeah, I've been doing a no-sugar thing, Girl Scout cookie flavor Dunkin' Donuts coffee. Oh, my God.

Yeah, I've been doing a no sugar thing. That ruined it. Oh, fucking caramel coconut cookie iced coffee. Yeah. It's yes. You look like you are falling asleep into that. I'm up. I'm awake.

We've entered a world where Nicole doesn't look the most tired, and that's a rarity. Which is weird because I only slept like an hour last night. You were famously described by Coach TM Verbal Violence as being a sloppy-eyed girl, which I have always thought is the funniest insult I've ever heard. Oh, my sloppy-eyed girl. Hey, it's Nicole. Feeling weird on the podcast now. Yeah, so what's up, man?

Okay, first photo. She's got a fucking teacup in her fucking head. Teacup. Give me your phone, you fucking mongoloid. For a second photo. Okay, here's the problem. He is 100% right. Ah, jeez.

God damn it. I don't know what you Googled so that the silverware wouldn't pop up. Tom, shut up. I'm fucking done with you today. Oh, she's eating cookies in this bitch's hair. Tom, Tom. Wait, let's see. Tom.

What else? What else? Tom, you are violently screaming about Ron Howard's Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I didn't know that was Ron Howard. It was, and you need to stop. Oh, oh, oh, this is a Whoville costume, but she's got... All right, should we start the Mexican joke off before this goes any further?

Sure. Hi, so topical. Boom, teacup. Nicole's whole expression is like, did you guys need me here for this? I do feel bad. You could have backed me up, Nicole. Oh, man, Keith, your throat filled up with pus. Yeah, that was really

weird. I didn't feel bad. We are all a mess today. As the fucking vape particles take your lung. I was trying to impersonate you. You're going to watch all three of us die, and then you're just going to be the only mean boy left. Yeah, Nicole, everyone's having a terrible time.

And nobody's doing well here, which is what people want from podcasting. Yeah. It's a little window into a fish tank full of suffering creatures for you to enjoy on your commute. Yeah, we open talking about cup hats and coffee. So it's going to be a good episode. I don't know how. It's probably my fault somehow that everyone sucks.

Everything is your fault, and your anxiety is correct. I disagree. It's not all about you. All the bad things you think are true and more. If you don't wash your hands right now, I'm gonna get raved by the Grinch. Who does not have a teacup on his head? Because he's not a fucking He's gonna mount this crumpet.

This house was built on an old cartoon burial ground. Alright guys, a nine-year-old boy shot his 13-year-old sister in the head after she refused to hand over a video game controller. The mother of the slain child successfully sued the Mad Catz Corporation for $30 million. I love that that was your get out of the depression hole. A kid shot another kid. Well, yeah, and it's mostly indicting the people at Mad Catz. Is it called Mad Catz or Wild Catz?

I believe it's Mad Catz. Okay, because I had a whole... You don't have to Google it. I don't care that much. it's mad cats okay because i had a whole don't you don't have to google it i don't care that much i'm just i'm curious myself now because i had the same thought all right while you're doing that i'll do this one the cdc reports that brazil is suffering from a deadly outbreak of yellow fever in related news woody allen has been crowned king of carnival oh because he fucks asian people yeah like the children though no i mean though the one he had the one he, but she was like a grown-up. Yeah, that doesn't make it better.

I mean, she was a grown-up. It makes it a little better. No, it was his kid. Tom is against all interracial relationships. He's made this very clear. Woody Allen could be the great uniter, because if you hate child molesting and interracial relationships, everybody can team up on him.

I guess. I mean, I don't know if those two communities have a public noted rift. There's got to be one. There's got to be a small group of people like, we hate those two things. And they go to get coffee together. And then they're just going to really like Annie Hall? I don't understand.

No, they're going to hate Woody Allen. I've never watched any of his shit, and I don't need to because he fucks his children. You guys, what's going on right now? I'm having fun. All right, Nicole, you're up. Oh, now I'm okay. Okay.

Pakistan recalled a diplomat from India amid harassment claims after spies reportedly rang the doorbell at 3 a.m. and ran away. Who doesn't love a good game of ding-da-la-la-la-la-la-la-la? Wow. You were real bad at doing that sound. I feel like you wrote that out, and I don't think you practiced the sound at all. No, I just wrote ding-da-la-la-la-la-la. Yeah, you're like, I took a lift line over here, so I couldn't exactly be like, does this sound good to you? This sounds like you guys, right? Can you teach me how to do it? That's the Indian one. Oh, the Native American one.

You're fucking racist. I don't want to be insensitive after your fucking childhood whimsy racist diplomat joke. Connor mentioned this. A nine-year-old boy shot his sister in the head after she went and gave him the video game controller. The boy is receiving 900 points

and a level up. All right. He's got some XP. Yeah. Yeah. That was the joke. Not experience points. He just got 900 points.

He's playing Pac-Man. I don't know. Yeah. That's a good point. I forget. Is it experience? You get a lot of experience points for killing your sister. That was one of the most effective cases of Tom making a bunch of noise and not saying

a word for a while. I could follow me. All right. I'm making a bunch of noise and not saying a word for a while. I could follow me. All right. The body of a mysterious sea creature washed up on a Georgia beach. Upon further investigation, the sea creature screeched, Can't Keith Carey's mother suntan in peace? God damn it. I thought it was like the Mesozoic era, like Loch Ness Monster type of thing.

Turned out it was your mom. Oh, cool. Tight. I want to hang out with your mom. I feel like we'd be friends. I keep thinking about bringing her on the show, and then I realize that's going to go real bad. It'll be great, Keith.

Like someone you would date? Yeah. Hey, good looking. What's up, toots? You look like someone's always just got done spitting in your eyes. How'd you like to actually look like that? Because I'm going to spin your eyes. You want to share a screwdriver full of crank? No, your mom

seems like the kind of woman who would let me babysit her kids. You know what I mean? Like she'd have too much faith in me. I used a turkey baster to do heroin between my toes. That's true. This did not happen by accident. Get along is what I'm saying. Alright, Keith. We'll go get one Redbox movie, but that's true. This did not happen by accident. We get along, is what I'm saying. All right, Keith, we'll go get one Redbox movie, but that's it.

And I'm going to do coke off it until it's too scratched to watch The Jungle Book. Jim Carrey tweeted an insulting painting of White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Makes sense. They're both famous for talking out of their asses. Does he do that in, like, a movie? It's Ace Ventura. It's an incredibly famous movie. I haven't seen it. Whenever I make a reference to any film, I know I'm not making it for you. I know.

I'm sorry. I mix up Ace Ventura and the Pet Sematary movie. Holy shit. I want to watch that movie. You know? Yeah, I know. It's called Pet Sematary. I know what it is.

But just the idea of Ace Ventura having to round up demon animals. Fuck. You could start right here. Am I right, guys? Come on. Hot cha-cha. Cha-cha-cha-cha. A couple naughty boys.

Naughty boys. That's what we do. I was going to do one, but now I'm going to do another one. Please unlock your phone and close the note in between every joke. You know what? I will. That'll show us. Yeah.

A woman in Riverhead, New York mistook a jail security booth for a fast food drive-thru, tried to order a breakfast sandwich, and got arrested. In other words, Keith Carey's mom relapsed. Goddamn it. A2, bitch. I was going to close on that one, but I figured I would piggyback on it. Oh, yeah. Very nice.

Oh, man. I love a good Keith's mom joke. Yeah, me too. Give me a chalupa and a mortgage here's what i love is we were explaining before like okay here's the format of the opening you're like oh i'm new i don't and then you immediately like oh we just make fun of keith's dumb mom that's i get this show uh keith's mom's new boyfriend dice clay said oh even i think this is degrading oh i'm not gonna make fun of your mom i feel like you might uh no i won't a turtle was

killed wait how turtle was killed after a t-shirt fed it a sick puppy uh keith carey is not looking forward to his future girlfriend making him fuck to this video what did i do i didn't know they were gonna do this hey nicole i told you it, have you ever heard the story about Keith having to fuck while watching the dog fuck? Yeah, she has. I'm not telling it again. Have you heard it before? So basically, Keith's girlfriend had this bestiality fetish. So she'd make Keith watch a video of a dog fucking a lady while he fucked her.

And then Keith just had to think about baseball or whatever while this was happening. And she made him try to keep up with the dog, but he couldn't do it because it was sprier than he was. And it's very funny. We should stop talking. Whoever brought this up was an asshole. I feel like we should. To be fair, I think it was me. No, it was me.

Oh, yeah, you brought it up. Yeah, that was. You just alley-ooped it to me, and I spiked it over the volleyball net. The point is, I love you, man. You're my best friend. Thanks, Tom. Turkish police seized a stash of radioactive californium in a smuggling raid.

No word yet on how the new red hot chili peppers got into Turkey. It's called californium? There's an element called californium. That is straight up bullshit. Is that what they make lattes out of? What is californium? Yeah, it's one of them ones. It's up there with like oogly boogly, the element.

Has an atomic weight of 311. Just like unga bunga lunga, the fucking isotope, you know, because they just start getting into like there's like eight U's. And they've like, yeah, it only existed for like four seconds because we just made a big proton sandwich. But we did science, so give me some money. Yeah. A serial bomber is on the loose in Austin, Texas. Authorities are baffled with one saying, quote, we didn't even know Nicole Buchanan was on tour. Oh, that's not nice to do to our guests.

That feels rude. I'm not liking the vibe of this whole joke off so far. I don't know how this turned on you. I don't either. I think it's going well. But also, it usually turns on me, so I don't really give a fuck. Yeah. I mean, you really got us with the teacup head thing.

You're right. You're right. You're right like four times a year, and it's always a black day for the podcast. I'm right more than that. I just usually don't get validated on the podcast. Usually, you know. Can you say podcast? Podcast. It doesn't happen on the podcast. Dr. Hombica, whatever his name is, usually tweets like...

What? You're talking about Dirk Homunculus. Yeah. Thank you for your support, sir. Our terrifying listener who sends us five That Is Why homemade GIFs a day. He doesn't even tag you guys in most of them. This is for you. Yeah, yeah.

Man, keep up the good work, man. Yeah, keep not tagging me in that shit. All right, Nicole, you're up. Okay. A woman caught her boyfriend cheating and cut off his fingers with his samurai sword. You heard me correctly. A man with a

samurai sword fucked two women. In other news, there's hope for Mean Boys listeners yet. Oh, that was a great job. Yeah, take that, Nurka Murka. Yeah, I've briefly owned a samurai sword and I've betted literally a dozen women.

I had a samurai sword for a minute. Only a dozen? It's about 12, I think, last count. I've been gifted many a sword. You say only a dozen? I don't like casual sex, really. That's pretty great, though. Casual sex doesn't like me very much. If I't like casual sex really that's pretty great though yeah casual sex doesn't like me very much if i'm having casual sex i'm usually just like well i'd like to feel

something even if only shame or embarrassment or you know like i've wasted my time well that was a haunting window into your dick and i feel like i'm misleading you know because i'm like i'm not actually that interested but i don't want to be rude and pretend like I'm not interested. And like, maybe they do just want to fuck or maybe I'm just like this. It's I would really rather be watching Deep Space Nine. It usually seems like it's going to be a fun time and then you just end up crying. Right. Yeah.

I mean, I don't cry because I ain't no bitch, but I am. No, I would cry. I can only cry. I cry about twice a year. And when I when I when i actually work it up to be able to cry i gotta cry out everything even related you know it's like all it's like oh it starts off it's like i'm getting broken up with but then there's like oh man the parking ticket i didn't pay and then you know there's the thing i didn't get or whatever and i just like oh

what the gates are open we got to make use of this you know until i'm like completely until i just turn into like a human like piece of like jerky. I'll dehydrate myself. Right. Sometimes I'll like push it down for so long that then like a really dumb thing. You'll shit out tears. No. Yeah.

Do you like a really dumb thing? I'll set it off like I'll I don't know. Fucking whatever. Someone will like take your parking spot and you'll like, the fucking God is a whore. Someone gives you a plastic fork, and you're just weeping. Yeah. And they look at me like I'm crazy. And you're like, it was supposed to be metal.

Also, my dad left me. Yeah, man. Welcome to real boys. Damn. It's got deep. Wow. All right. And it's my turn to make a funny?

Is that the- Yeah. I'm killing it so far. Yeah, you are. Honestly, you are. Yeah. You have like this silent swagger. I give you eight the roses.

All right. An Indiana man from Indiana. Shut up, Tom. Took a cab back and forth to rob a bank. That's how sad Indiana is. You can't even rob a bank with Uber. Oh. Oh, jeez.

I hope I don't get a Puerto Rican getaway driver. Oh, my God. Oh, jeez. What do you have? It strikes again. I told her to put the money in the bag, and then I asked her to double bag the money. You think I've got the money? What's a bag?

I have a gun. I could be crazy. I mean, I'm not. I don't want to hurt anybody. I'm just trying to make a living. And then I get out of the curb, and I'm waiting for the getaway driver and I'm like, I just hope – I mean, I've had a day and I hope I don't get a Puerto Rican getaway driver. And then who pulls up? A Puerto Rican.

And I think, well, maybe he's the one. Maybe we click. I mean, it's nothing against them. I mean, just we don't have a good working relationship and I feel bad for them because I feel like I'm not a good getaway client. I don't even know what the term is, honestly. Anyway, I took the money and I bought an island to fuck my daughter on. You know what's crazy? I wrote out that whole

monologue as a tag. I can't believe we have that similar thinking. You guys always ask me to do a Woody Allen bank robber and when I actually do it, everyone looks at me like I'm stupid. I know. Nicole looking at it just... Like a

kindergarten teacher who's being explained a very complicated story from a child. Oh, and then you rode the dinosaur to Disneyland? Okay. Dinosaurs are the fucking shit. I love dinosaurs. What's your favorite dinosaur? Chicken Nugget. Gummy Vitamin. T-Rex. I mean... Gummy vitamin. T-Rex.

That shirt I used to have. Birthday wrapping paper. T-Rex again. Oh, Velociraptor. He's number one. Velociraptors are up there, but there's another kind of... I always forget what they're called. Tom, completely serious about his dinosaur hierarchy.

They're like Velonaptoraptoraptors or something? They're not. There's something as complicated. No, they're not. More complicated. Velonaptoraptor. It produces a show at the family room. What are you talking about?

The Velonzuelaraptor. It's got a big old nose. No, these do have big noses, but they got harder heads, and they're bigger, and they don't hunt. So you're ranking your dinosaurs based on skull density. Yeah, what's that one dinosaur that Metta World Peace wants to fuck? All right, guys. A police spilled a vial of a dead man's daughter's ashes he mistook for drugs.

The officer has been placed on paid leave, and when he returns, he will have a Wisecracking Ghost sidekick and six seasons on the USA Network. That story was so fucked up. Did you read that? It was, yeah, this dude got pulled over, and he had his six-year-old dead daughter's ashes in a vial hanging from the windshield.

And the cop was like, look, I gotta test it and make sure it's not cocaine. And then just spilled the whole thing on the fucking dashboard. And the dude's just like, well, I guess I'll scoop my child back into a tube. That's why I have a co-current. Yeah.

Well, you famously snorted a dead gang member on Axe. into a tube. That's why I have a co-current. You famously snorted a dead gang member on Axe. Well, you inhaled a dead gang member on Axe. Yeah, I've told that on the show. I had my fake uncle who was like a Nazi gang member, heroin guy. He was cremated and his ashes were just in

my closet when I was like a teenager. And I didn't know they were up there so I was like rooting around. I knocked the box over and she goes, and so I had to dust buster him up. I'm never not in of anything that comes out of your mouth about your life. Tough, but fair. All right.

Let's do this one. Nicole, you always talk like you're buffering. Okay. Now you are gently smiling on an audio format. Nicole, I need you like you're buffering. Okay, now you are gently smiling on an audio format. Nicole, I need you to stamp it up a little. I'm so sorry. Do your fucking joke.

Her response to your story about the dead guy was impressive. Wowzers. Donald Trump announced he'll use the death penalty on heroin dealers because the only way to stop a bad guy with a needle full of poison is a good guy with a needle full of poison.

New Yorker, Keith. Hot shot. Come on, everybody. We're having a great time. We're podcast. Does it feel like fire would be good in this scenario? I feel I'm craving fire. Anyone else have that?

Tom, shut up nicole god it makes a very good point yeah i think i do hello fire uh hannibal burris's mic was cut at a catholic university after joking about priests molesting children the university said they sent burris an email asking him to refrain from that sort of content burns burris's response it wasn't a joke i was just reporting what I saw in the hallway. Oh, yeah. I mean, they'd be sucking dicks, guys. Yeah, yeah.

Don't book the dude to come talk at Rape University if he's, like, super famous for outing a raper. Yeah, that's like when I did Cal State Fresno, and I was like, anything I should avoid?

And they're like, well, a student got expelled for fucking a sheep, and it's been kind of a low point for the community. Fresno means no. Yeah, so every 45 seconds, I was like, at least I didn't fuck a sheep and it's been kind of a low point for the community no means no yeah so every every 45 seconds i was like at least i didn't fuck a sheep guys huh uproarious applause no no they

know it was it was one of the worst shows ever done i got food i got food poisoning afterwards from a mcdonald's chicken wrap and then you look at the mcdonald's employee and it's just a sheep in a mcdonald's uniform Did that girl specifically like dog fucking videos? Or was there other animals? Or back to the dog. It was specifically the dog. I mean, there were various dogs, different breeds. She wasn't racist about it. What kind of dog?

That would be weird if she was like, hey, let's watch this video. Not for the dog, for the lady. I just really like this actress. I mean, she was a very attractive lady. For some reason, I feel like you want like a pit bull, like a muscular dog. One was a pit bull, I remember. Was there a certain breed

that made her the most wet? Is pug like midget porn? This video of the German Shepherd was like the main one that we went back to. That's the one that the story is about. Yeah.

But yeah. And then did you have to like eat peanut butter out of her butthole? I mean, I didn't have to. You know, I did something for her, she did something for me. Well, it was the same girl who you ate a cake off her butt, I didn't have to. I did something for her. She did something for me.

Well, it was the same girl who you ate a cake off her butt, right? That's correct. I don't know. She put a cake on her butt. It was my birthday. It seemed like the thing to do. What's the weirdest thing you ever ate off a body, Nicole? It was just like a Cheeto that fell in your tit.

I don't think I've ever eaten anything off a body. Oh, really? What about the body itself? You say that like everybody's doing it. People eat food off bodies. It's like a thing. I don't think I've ever eaten food off a body. I've licked salt off a hand, but it was someone I was dating. Or just anyone at a bar.

Did she make you a margarita in her hands like she was getting water? No, she was eating chips, and I was just like... I thought you were doing body shots or something. No, no. It was just like, oh, this is residue salt. And then I looked at it. Have you seen the new butt luge thing where you pour a beer off a girl's ass into your mouth? No, gross.

No, but can we do that like immediately? I don't. All right. We can't afford alcohol. I'll grab that lukewarm open beer from the patio. It wasn't even cider. It wasn't beer. Let me go steal some of Opie's rum so we can make a mess in the studio.

This is like my personal rum. Yo, that's like Opie's private stock. I've labeled it as such. I have a bit around the house where Opie just doesn't really like us muscling around with his thing. So we're up making muffins one night and we're like, do we have a muffin tin? We were up making muffins. I mean, we found some pumpkin mix and we're like do we have a muffin tin we were up making muffins we were i mean we found some pumpkin mix and we're like that was a year expired yeah yeah and then

uh we're like don't we have a muffin tin and i was like opi probably keeps it locked in his room just because like that's what he was like yo like that's like my muffin pan and like i bought that muffin pan with my muffin pan money and like i mean i could give you the muffin man's number but like disrespect my muffin sovereignty. Yeah. Not funny unless you were also awake at three in the morning and know Opie intimately. But, you know, why not? You just got to say words in a podcast. Yeah, the point is we're doing a butt luge at some point.

Yeah, guys. On the road, we'll do a butt luge. $1,300 on Patreon for this broadcasting excellence. Now, fuck that. Pay for the beer. I suggested a food-related sex thing to a guy once, and he laughed at me, and I was like, never mind. What was it? He was like, no, we can try it. And I was like, no, thing to a guy once and he laughed at me and I was like never mind and he was like no we can try it and I was like no stupid idea

I wanted to eat broccoli out of his dick hole here's what I imagine is just using like craft singles as like nipple pasties just like lick them and stick them it wasn't even like a weird thing like it was just like just the classic whipped cream. And he was like, really?

And I was like, no. It's super fun. Yeah, I know. Yeah, whipped cream is good. Whatever's under it is usually pretty good. I'm not fucking that guy anymore. Well, good. Put whipped cream on some new dude.

I have a deep hatred for being sticky. So I don't think I would like this. Well, I suggested it on me. But then it's still going to get sticky. Because the tits are going to be rubbing around. I don't know. Getting sticky is kind of fun, though. See, I'd eat the whipped cream. but then it's still going to get sticky because the tits are going to be rubbing around I don't know getting sticky is kind of fun though no it's not being sticky is a nuisance either way you're going to be sticky

I'd eat the whipped cream and be like oh you know what would be better is eating more whipped cream and then I'd just be eating whipped cream so yeah just do whippets while you fuck away I don't see why everyone has a problem with the best idea of all time I mean it just feels unnecessary it's like... Wait, it's not necessary.

Yeah, it's unnecessary. I just wanted to try something new. Okay. And he laughed at me. They meet him in the middle, suggest ranch. That seems more his speed. What? Whose turn is it?

Tom's. Okay. Indiana man took... Oh, I did that one already. The one... Tom, you're always just the perfect beacon of sunshine, no matter what you say. Yes. The whipped cream of the podcast. Like, if I get cancer, I want Tom to tell me.

Yeah, hey, buddy. You never really light your bones anyway. Yeah. Hey, man. Good news. Your lungs have a new fun neighbor. Surprise. bones anyway. Hey man, good news. Your lungs have a new fun neighbor. Surprise! Happy birthday thing that's gonna kill you.

Elon Musk You know Elon Musk. Yeah, we know him. Is saying that we must colonize Mars to avoid World War 3. Which makes perfect sense because no one has ever gone to war over new land. Fucking stupid cunts. New land.

I love that you look and sound drunk and that you were very passionately talking into the base of the microphone. I'm right. Perfect. There you go. I'm right. Perfect. There you go. I like you just adopted an Italian accent for half a second. I forgot that's not what we're doing. Where was the Italian?

I don't know. I was right to here. Oh, okay. Hey. We're doing the podcast. Hit the microphone. I'm so over Elon Musk. Yeah, me too.

You didn't really explain why. He's just like, it feels like everyone's like, oh, fuck, we need water. He's like, yeah, also Jupiter. Like, he just seems like such a distracting like I'm all I'm all for for big science. I'm all for like, let's try to do the crazy thing. And here's a prize and let's get it done. But he's just like in becoming a kind of media personality. I think he is kind of poisoned all of that because he doesn't really have the charisma.

I don't think he always has the right intentions. See, I've never listened to an interview. It's just like everything, he just brings up something else. We're talking about going to war with North Korea. He's a dweeb. Watch out, your microwaves will gain sentience and kill us all.

It's like, dude, shut the fuck up about the microwaves. It's something I've always thought. It's like, you need a writer. You need a comedy writer to make you more palatable. Because if you're an unpersonable person who has good ideas or good intentions, it's like Hillary Clinton. Get a couple fucking, pay Pat Barker a thousand bucks to spice up your fucking remarks about the coal industry.

I just read that he's hiring like onion writers. Oh, really? Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah. It's just everything, you know. Oh, no.

All the global warming. And he's like, but the space volcanoes. It's like, dude, we're not to space yet. And we focus. Here's the problem I have is that, Tom, like you're making some very smart, compelling arguments, but this was also the same conversation where you referred to Stephen Hawking as

Steve Hockey. Here's the thing. I say it wrong, it's hilarious, that's his name now. I think Tom's name should be Steve Hockey. The question was legit, and it was, do you think he was buried with the wheelchair? And you said no.

Neil LaCrosse chicken tenders. All right, a pitcher for the Rangers had his elbow broken by his pet bull. He then killed and ate his bull, thus gaining his courage and passion for domestic abuse. All right, let's do this one. Reports surfaced that Dylan Roof wanted to fire his Jewish attorneys. Roof released a statement clarifying his stance, saying it was a misunderstanding, and he actually said he wanted to fire at his Jewish attorneys. Oh. Hey.

Shoot the Jew. Well, that's what he was saying. Well, we are isolating that audio, and you're not running for president anymore. I'll still win. Look at Trump. I'm fine. No, no. I was just summing up with the joke.

That's not a stance of mine, just for clarification. Yeah, most candidates give a stump speech. He gave a stumpy speech where he just talked about his body. I like a lot of Jews. There's a lot of great Jews out there, and they're very nice. Name ten Jews. Go. Like famous or friends?

Just ten Jews. Go. Barbra Streisand. Go on. Dylan Roos, go. Barbra Streisand. Go on. Dylan Roos, lawyer. Seth Rogen, maybe. Yes! That's hard to tell.

What, Jew Jewerson? Yeah. Everyone's personality traits go away with Pai. You're at three, go. Fuck. The girl Katie from class in high school, very nice. My buddy Elijah in middle school who kind of hates me now. Are you Jewish, Nicole?

No. Okay. Well, I'm too tired for this game. You've got five more Jews. I feel like the last two were just made up Jews. You're like, yeah, I have Jew friends. No, they were real Jews. I have so many Jew friends.

My professor, Greg the Jew. I'm forgetting a lot of them. Elijah Wood's Jewish, right? Elijah Wood? I don't think so. Oh, well, then I don't like him. How's that? Pro-Jew.

Anti-Frodo. All right, Tom, you have to name five more Jews. Yeah, go. I'm just so braindead. Five more Jews, go. Name five Jews. Various Comedy Central writers. So you just killed 12 people you actually know.

You could have easily finished the game. Nat Bybel. Toby Marshmallow. I like him. Jeff Ross. Okay. Yeah, he's Jewish. Barbara Streisand, number one.

I feel like one of the keyboard elves. What? What are you talking about? They're elves. That's a different species. You're thinking of goblins. Go, you got one more. No, you can't be a Jewish elf. Jew is a religion.

Elf is a fake thing. Well, yeah, we're talking about ethnic Judaism, are we not? They're the same thing. Literally name talking about ethnic Judaism, are we not? The same thing. Literally named a Jew. One more Jew, Tom. Not a fucking cookie mascot that may or may not be Jewish. That one dude from the A-team. None of them are Jewish.

No one's Jewish. Oh, Scarlett Johansson. No. Yes, she is. Do you want to bet? Pull it up. Johansson is Jewish? Yes, she is. I will. Do you want to bet? Pull it up. Scarlett Johansson is Jewish? I will.

Yeah. Everyone in Hollywood goes by their actual name. No, you're full of shit. She's Jewish. Yeah. Okay. How Jewish is Scarlett Johansson, the Jewish Chronicle? How Jewish is she?

Against for a verdict. This one did not get lost in translation. She is definitely one of ours. So she's 84% Jewish. Oh, shit. Yeah, suck my cock. I was correct twice. According to the Jewish Chronicle. Yeah. Thank you, Jew Chronicle. You gotta

say ish. You really need the ish there. What did I say? Jew Chronicle. Oh, Jewish. Sorry. Sorry, Jewish. Sorry, Jewish. You guys, okay. I'm not anti-Jew. Sorry, Jewish. You guys, okay. I'm not anti-Jew. I named ten.

You named eight. Oh, I'm sorry. You guys didn't even know Scarlett Johansson, famous Jew's heritage. That was the first name you wanted. No, I've done this before. I know she's a Jew. She's very attractive. All right, Nicole, name ten more Jews.

Harvey Weinstein. She's very attractive. Alright, Nicole, name ten more Jews. Harvey Weinstein. That counts for three. Woody Allen. See, she's naming all the evil ones. Okay. I named all the good ones. I mean, you can say those two people are evil. Half a Hitler. Fucking beat me.

Alright, so we got two Jews. They walk into a bar, right? I don't know. Those are the only things I know. Then the door locks. Okay. We wonder why we had some alt-right business with this show. Yeah, I'll just do Jewish porn.

That was a Russian prank. What's up? That was a Russian prank. Okay. Remember? Yeah, I remember. Yeah. Just trying to keep the ball in the air.

Remember, remember the fifth. All right, we got a little bit of momentum. Nicole. What was that poem again? Yeah, first they came from my sporks at the mental hospital, but I hid the sporks and I win. The end. Who?

Yeah, wait. No. The way you talk when you can't think of something, you're like, who? You know. One day in November was. It was the fifth. It was the fifth.

I was cocaine. Yeah. You two kind of a Richard Priory thing. I don't mean to. Okay, Nicole, are you going to tell a joke? We've been talking for 20 minutes about Jews destroying your career too.

Yeah. I was talking about how I liked them. So we're good. That's true. We burned a lot of bridges here. My career's over. I'm sorry. I was just trying to be funny.

Utah lawmakers made it legal for kids to play outside alone. Meanwhile, investigators are probably looking into whoever the first guy was to stand up and suggest maybe we'll let the kids play outside by themselves. Wait, that was a law? I guess they weren't allowed to, and now they are. Wait, what weren't they allowed to do? Play outside alone. Oh, that's a law? I guess they weren't allowed to, and now they are. Wait, what weren't they allowed to do? Play outside alone. Oh, that's a good law.

What? But now they can. Like, if there's two children, that's okay, though? I don't know. How outside? What? Space. In the yard, in the park, in the road.

On a toad, in the bottom of the sea. I will not eat them. Yes, I am. Sam, Cram, whatever. Sam, Cram, Cisco, the famous character. He had a friend with a teacup on his face. I know this to be true. Okay, so far I've been correct about Jews and Who's.

Don't you worry about me. All the Jews down in Whoville. Okay. Fa-hoo. Di-journo. Fa-hoo. Were there Jews in Whoville? I mean, they were pretty into Christmas, so I gotta figure now.

There's gotta be, like... Yeah, the Grinch. The Grinch is the Jewish one. This is bullshit. Yeah, the Grinch. I like that the whole society is just like, we love Christmas. You know? It's like they're juggalos.

They just live for one weekend a year. That's where my parents live is. Everyone gets so into it, and then everyone puts up their stupid fucking lights, and then all these stupid light moths come and clog up our fucking neighborhood. Tom, they're called the Jewish people. No, they're Christians. I was doing that. You think that light moths are Jews.

No, I think they're fucking googly fucking light Christians. Why do Christians love shiny things so much? It doesn't make any... You're thinking of crows. No, I'm not. Because if a bunch of crows were in my neighborhood clogging up my road, then I could just run them over. No one would get upset.

I can't do that. Let's just alienate every subset of people on this podcast. The Christians, the Jews. The crow community. The who's like me. Fuck off. Okay. You're thinking of the wise.

That is who. Barbara Streisand, you guys remember that from earlier. Barbara Streisand. That's why he said Barbara Streisand. I remember that from earlier Barbara Streisand that's why he said Barbara Streisand I know what this is about stated that she has never been raped

because of her nose which can't be the reason since someone out there has to have a nose fucking fetish she's the only woman in the world who can snort cock

that is not what I thought it was going to be did you see she fucking cloned her dog yeah Jesus she fucking cloned her dog? Yeah. Jesus. Yeah, she cloned her dog, so now she has another one of that dog. That's really creepy.

I don't like her. Well, Tom, why do you think I've been fucking stealing your hairbrushes? I got to have an insurance policy. All right, bring in Evil Tom. Oh, God. I would not want to talk to myself. It's weird because you do it a lot. Yeah, but it's to me if there was double me

that would be too much i couldn't i i see i follow me because i'm in my head like i follow the thoughts and then whatever comes out and like they can keep track and if they don't i don't give a shit but if i have to do that with the another like flesh that would be a nightmare all right and the meat boys podcast will be right back millions of people around the world use facebook to stay connected to the world around them but with hackers running rampant and data mining revealed on an unthinkable scale many are fleeing facebook but what now without a social media platform to call home can you mathematically prove that your life is true and meaningful? Well, fear no more, because the great machine has heard your pleas and is thrilled to announce

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Hey, if you can hear this, my name's Rocket. I survived the attack. I've survived the wasteland. And I think I'm the only one on Earth who knows what the fuck happened and how to fix it. I don't have time to explain, but I need your help. There's only one man who can stop them. Tom Goss. Find him.

Tell him to find me. He'll have to follow the jets. Ah, fuck. Here they come. Tom, I need you. The Omega Tom returns April 3rd on the Mean Boys Podcast. Oh, and the Mean Boys Podcast is back with one of our favorite segments, New Names. It's time for New Names.

New Names. Yeah. I remember. I think you called all the things now. Yeah, we haven't done this one in a while. Not since the live show during Snark Week. I think it was the last New Names we did. Snark Week!

Yeah, and what we do here is we take something, we give it a better name. Like getting a reach around from a tentacle monster will now be called Squid Pro Quo. I enjoy. I enjoy that. Yeah. That's the easiest reach around,

because it's... Then you just gorp in there. You can get jerked off by eight arms. Do you guys like squids more than octopus? Because I fucking love octopus, and I feel bad eating them, because they're gorp in there you can get jerked off by eight arms you guys like squids more octopus because i fucking love octopus and i feel bad eating them because they're like smarter than people and it's like i've been guilt but they're delicious you guys like octopus yeah that's okay like as an animal or as a food either they're both my favorite octopus and squid i think squid is better squid squid i'd see octopus octopus just tastes like an expensive tire like it's just like squid have you ever had squid not fried yeah it's it's it gets pretty gross yeah but i like it fried

hello sir i would like a pan seared squid at redondo beach i just bought a thing a squid a live squid they were dead they gave me in like dog trays. They're like, you can buy squid for like $4. I was broke. I was like, oh, this is good. But they didn't gut the squid or anything. So you're just eating the squid brain. And then when he gave it to me, I didn't know what I was signing up for. There was a clarinet in it.

The guy was like, by the way, you got to pull the thing out. I'm like, what's the thing? It's going to taste like plastic, but it's not plastic. I'm like, just de-skeletoning these squids because they have shitty, like, you know. In the vein in a shrimp. No, it's not. Maybe a squid has it as well. It's the spine.

It's the spine. You made a face like all of this is disgusting to you. It was disgusting. I don't eat things that aren't normal. The squid are fine. There's a bunch of them in the ocean. Although octopuses are scary as fuck. Beef, chicken, whipped cream off nipples, everything.

But yeah, it was so... Wait, why are you scared of octopuses? They're fucking scary. Because they're smarter than us. We don't know it, but they're smarter than us. They're like... They might be smarter than you. No.

No, no, no. Nicole is an arm racist, and I'd like her to defend herself. Yeah, I'm... Mm-hmm. How do you feel about Hindu gods? Nope. All right, I think we got all the religions, then. No, the squid was so gross,

I threw it fried back in the ocean. I was just like, I didn't know. Be free! I was just like, I don't... Imagine the rest of the squids who just see a fried uncle sink down. I wasn't going to throw it away. That feels like I'm going to give you a proper burial.

I'm not using you for food, and I felt bad, and I just kind of chuck it. I'm going to waste you back to your home. Chuck it back in the ocean, and then you could see all the grease coming off of it. I like the idea of you throwing it over a homeless person. No, yeah, Tom's bird died, so we tried to just throw it into the sky over and over again. I miss Loki. She was a great kaiik.

Okay, we're not going down this bird hole. That was a species of bird. I'm not speaking about Scarlett Johansson. Alright, new name. Dry Pussy will now be known as Queef Jerky. So stupid. Alright, you're up. Cupcakes or bitch muffins. now be known as queef jerky. So stupid. All right, you're up.

Cupcakes or bitch muffins. You are a bitch muffin. Thank you. Wow, you take that, cupcakes. Big cupcake. Bitch muffin, muffin. I told you I didn't like mine. I like that one. Thank you.

Mine are also in a similar, actually, no, this is in an unsimilar vein. Elephants are now called obesity horses. Okay. New name for a toothy blowjob, 6911. God damn it, I had that written down for a Dice Clay joke off earlier. Oh, really? There were a bunch of Chinese flight attendants who got caught having an orgy on camera. Oh, neat.

Yeah. Yeah, no, I feel like the 69 blowjob, just with the angles involved. I'm very tall. It's kind of hard to reach my dick. See, I do all right with it. It's not big enough to get up to your mouth, so you really got to go searching for it. You fuck small ladies and you're a large man. See, I fuck, like, high-proportionate people. I fuck, like, different-sized

people. Most people are smaller than me. I haven't fucked a WNBA team. Well, you got to go with the sideways 69 is the way to do it. See, that seems more problematic to me. No, because then you can get some, like, sort of, some hip-angle-age into it, and you can sort of, like, adjust for height. I feel like you're playing, like, a fat man

69 game. Well, the thing is, I got to do, if i'm doing it with a dude i have to do a side by side because you can't have one guy just like balls on top i'm in there yeah just like oh fuck i get it like i feel like typically girl goes on top guy goes on well yeah ideally yeah no i'm not getting on top that would be funny that'd be hard i've done it it's horrifying she has me too i feel like that's a murderer thing well not if you not if you don't kill her. Like, don't go through the back of her head. Yeah, but if your butt itches, you're not expecting that. If you get, like, a hamstring cramp, this is going to be a horrible talk with the paramedics.

Anyway, Little Caesar's pizzas will now be called diarrhea frisbees. I guess you could just bite it off. Yeah, Mr. Carey, your girlfriend has died of ass poisoning. I'm so sorry. Oh, Mr. Carey, your girlfriend has died of ass poisoning. I'm so sorry. Oh, God. Nicole? Mechanical sex dolls. Hobots. Jesus Christ. Okay.

Okay, the local news. Leaves are now tree dandruff. Okay. All right. Yeah. Okay, right before Nicole on the local leaves are now tree dandruff. Okay. All right, yeah. Okay, right before Nicole on the local news. Yeah, that's not bad. I got a good one, guys.

Avocados are Mexican apricots. Oh, okay. It's a pitted fruit. Losing your job at a hipster record store is now called getting arcade fired. I'm sorry, it was good. No, it wasn is now called getting arcade fired. I'm sorry. It was good. No, it wasn't.

It was pretty good. It was fine. Third one is always the worst one. Megan'slaw.com is now... Oh, no. ...is now called the pedophiles. That's fine. That is good.

That's literally what I was thinking Like you could make like Okay so I want to create a thing That's like a combination of the X-Files And to catch a predator So you catch aliens that fucked kids? Oh the ones that Trump was talking about In that speech? Oh

I'm really a sidekick I would like to just be an andy richter of kind of like rape humor andy raped her oh that'd be a good twitter name what tom you're up uh lava is now called earth come no it isn't. I feel like it's more like earth pus. Like the volcanoes are like zits. No, it fucking... Well, they erupt. Yeah, but so do zits.

Like, I'm gonna spurt. You guys notice cum's always warm? Why is it always warm? It's inside your body. Yeah. Your body's 98.6 degrees, and your cum is gonna be somewhere in that area. Yeah, but if it's the same temperature as my body, it should just feel like my body, right? It should just be like, this is room temperature.

It was inside you. Your skin can be colder than the interior of your body. You've got a network of blood. Skin is stupid. Here's what's funny. I was going to make fun of him for not knowing, and then I realized I didn't totally know why cum comes out hot, and that makes so much sense. Well, guys, this is why I'm the science officer on the podcast.

All right. New name for the secret Nazi moon base. Deep Space Nine. Like nine, like the secret Nazi moon base. Deep Space Nine. Like nine, like the word no in German. Oh, for God's sake. Come on, guys. Ready for the stupidest one I've ever written? Sure.

New name for any Mexican that plays a guitar. Shredward James Olmos. Is Shredward James Olmos Mexican? Yeah, he's a person. Yeah, he's Mexican. Oh. He's like super Mexican. That sounds like a white guy name.

Nah, he's Mexican as shit, dude. Okay. Good for him. Tight, bro. Enjoy your apricots. Wait, I don't like mine. Skip me. No, fuck you.

Bleed with us. No, okay. I've never seen anybody try to do this before. This is amazing. What the fuck is happening to you? Are you turning into some kind of basic werewolf? You've made a bunch of Bjork noises It sounded like you were putting a finger in your butt for the first time

Do it Put a finger in my butt for the first time? No, no, no We will allow you to pass You didn't get the email about the third segment? What? There's no insertion segment. This is a non-penetrative podcast.

We did say back in the early days that Keith and Joe would fuck me on episode 100. But, I mean, he backed out on the bet. So, missed out on this boy pussy. Thanks for fucking me the bet, so. Missed out on this boy pussy. Thanks for fucking me over there, Joe. All right. Just do it. Or you can skip it if you really need to. Just Nicole.

New name for Grindr, online aid superstore. All right. That is where they keep them. I would have gone with Ball Mart. God damn it. Gay Mart would have also worked. Oh, yeah, like K-Mart. Yeah.

New name for both fingering and rim-jobbing at the same time. Playing the trumpet. What is a rim-job? I actually don't know. It's an EPS. Oh. I thought it was when you came on a butthole. No, no, no.

Isn't there an actual sex move called the trumpet? You're thinking of the rusty trombone. Oh, yeah thought it was when you came on a butthole. No, no, no. Isn't there an actual sex move called the trumpet? You're thinking of the rusty trombone. Oh, yeah, yeah. The rusty trombone is where you lick an asshole while you... Is that where you throw shit in their ear or something? No, it's you lick an asshole while you jerk somebody off. No, that's called summer camp. That's the song you play on the rusty trombone.

That's what Glenn Miller did with his orchestra. All right, guys, this next one is a guest new name from Katrina Davis, a comic I did a show with. I didn't know we were allowed to steal guest ones. I couldn't think of another one. And I think the listeners should know, and I wanted to attribute it correctly. She called Steve Harvey Black Alex Jones.

And I thought that was the funniest thing I've ever heard. Fuck. He really does. He will just go on and, like, he has an adorable mustache. So he can just go, like, if you don't accept the word of Jesus Christ, you should be heard. Fuck. He really does. He will just go on and he has an adorable mustache so he can just go like, if you don't accept the word of Jesus Christ, you should be dead.

Yeah. You should die so you can go to hell quicker. You're in the way. Everybody's like, oh, Uncle Steve. Women should not be able to drive. They're just going to go

buy abortions. Here's a game show. White girls who date Arabs will now be called rag hags. Oh, man. That's not a nice thing to say about Paige Weldon, our friend. God help you, you're up. I know.

I don't have another. Okay, cool. Tom, you're up. Make one up. Make one up. You got it. Okay. I was trying.

I worked. How are you staying? Okay. All right. I'm going to give you a thing. I'll give you a thing. I've got a new name for it. I'll try and Tom Goss rap it. Wait, are we doing a Nicole Buchanan-

Okay. Ready? Ready? Ready? Cucumber. Did you say dick vegetable? That's what you were going to say. Exactly what I was going to say, but that's not...

Chips. All right, Nicole. Chips? Chimp. Oh, chimp. Fuck. Hockey Air Bud. There's a movie where a chimp plays hockey.

I know. I thought he was giving me another thing. Of all the chimp-based media. Chimp-based media. Chimp-based media. There it is. You guys are fucking up so bad. Let's start over.

No, you're not. Okay, hemorrhoids. Redo, redo, redo. Hemorrhoids. Butt acne. There you go. There you go. Okay, accordions are push pianos.

Thank you. All right, and on that note, mean boys are going to take themselves a little break, center ourselves, try not to get all the talk about Jews out of our system, and we'll be right back in a minute. We haven't brought up Muslims at all. Oh, my God, guys. Studio headphones. What a product.

I'm wearing mine right now, and they're comfortable. The sound is fantastic. There's a noodle-flat cord that refuses to tangle. Too flat. I've tried to tangle this cord. It's untangleable. It can't be tanged. And you know what?

I don't even need it because it's got amazing blue clues. Blue clues? Blue clues. Blue clues. I want to watch blue clues. Blue clues. I like the studio. I like to listen to the blue clues.

I sit down in my chair with my studio. It's very counter-mighty. See, the reason that sounded so distorted is because you aren't using studio headphones. Unless you are, in which case... In which case, it still sounded stupid. But that's not studio's fault. Studio is so good, we all sound intelligent in your ear holes. So go ahead and go to studio...

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How to spell that? I don't know man Get 15% off your purchase I feel like The podcast always Spell out their promo code even when it's really simple. But yeah, it's all one word. Go get yourself some headphones.

I got some buds and other shit and corded headphones. It's just good. It works. And you listen to your headphones every day. Invest in yourself. You're worth it. You're beautiful. You're loved.

And I really need the money. So go to studioswedent.com, promo code Mean Boys. Mr. Ear approved, and thank you for that drawing from that one guy who drew Mr. Ears afoot. All right. That's it. That's the ad. Hey, hey, hey, and welcome back to the Meat Boys podcast for a very special Witch of the Following. Hooray Well done, Tom

So, this was sent I want you to throw back from break more often This was, oh shit, who was this from? Callie Velasquez Callie And you've already dropped the ball I've dropped the ball, I picked it back up Callie Velasquez

Thank you to Callie Velasquez for sending this game Which she asked for me to read specifically because I do all the answers. Very good call on her part. Thank you, Callie. Which of the following is not a real Canadian hockey team? Oh, Jesus Christ. God damn it.

So basically, he's going to give us four names of theoretical Canadian hockey teams. We've got to figure out which one is the fake one. I got it. All right. Oh, excuse me. All right. All right. I didn't drop out of community college. Y'all ready for this?

Tom, Tom. All right. This includes Western Hockey League, Ontario Hockey League. Oh, great. This is going to make a ton of difference for my guests. Quebec Major Junior Hockey League. Read the goddamn thing. Oh, great. This is going to make a ton of difference for my guests. Quebec Major Junior Hockey League. Read the goddamn thing. Parentheses, no one else in the show will care. A.

Very funny about Callie. A. Eerie Otters. Wait, what is it? The Eerie Otters. Okay. Okay. B. The Red Deer Rebels. C. Medicine Hat Tigers.

Or D. Edmonton Pit Vipers I'm going to go with A. Pit Viper sounds like a really aggressive Axe Body Spray product. Yeah, or like a kind of gay guy. And he's like, well, yeah, I'm a sub-bottom Pit Viper. I'm a Filipino Pit Viper.

I feel like Pit Viper would be the extra straight guy, though. Wouldn't it? No. No, it's like you want to put your Viper in a pit. No, but. That is Tom's improv strategy. But that's a straight thing. Oh, gay people have butts.

If you're the kind of guy who fucks a Pit Viper, you're a mongoose. Gay people have butts. Oh, I forgot. My mom was on vagina, and I was like, I forgot about the other hole. The shared hole. The face palm. I forgot about God's crawl space. The gender unifying hole.

It could be a mouth. There's only one hole we don't both have. We have about 80% of the same holes. All right, the important holes. All right. The important one. Yeah, more important. No one's like, ooh, I like that girl's ears. Like, that's not a thing.

Everyone's like, ooh, the butt. It's absolutely a thing. I was a guy who's jerked off to a lot of Vulcan porn. I haven't, but now I'm thinking about it. Live really long and prosper. Ooh, yeah. Boing. Live dong and fuck her.

To boldly blow where no man has blown before. The butt. The final frontier. These are the voyages of a big black dick. Anyway, what the fuck are we doing? Oh, yeah. Also, an alternative for hobots was fuck them, suck them robots. Oh, it's so much better.

Yeah, it's way better. I'm sorry. I just had to. No, you retroactively got one. Okay. Oh, it's so much better. Yeah, it was way better. I'm sorry. I just had to... No, you retroactively got one. Okay. Fucking plug-em, chug-em machines. Pump-em robots. Do you guys want to guess?

Oh, what was C again? C was medicine hat tigers. And what was B? B was red deer rebels. And what was A? D? Eerie otters. And D was Edmont B was Red Deer Rebels. And what was A? D? Eerie Otters. And D was Edmonton Pit Vipers.

I'm going to say the Eerie Otters are the fake ones. Eerie Otters? Yeah. Me too. Three for Eerie Otters? Yeah. Is Eerie a place? We're a team, Tom.

It is D, Edmonton Pit Vipers. Son of a bitch. Funny fact about the Eerie Otters, they are my favorite minor league team to play with on my PlayStation. That's not a funny fact at all. That is one of the unfunniest facts. It's funny that you guys didn't know that. Point to Tom. I'm so upset

that this has been a handbook. I didn't know it, but I was thrilled to not know that for most of my life. My life is worse with that information. Good, I'm doing my job. Alright, round two. A, Toronto Pass Arenas. B, Mississauga Steelheads.

C, Peterborough Peets. These sound like horrible Girl Scout cookies. D, Niagara Ice Dogs. Dude, Canada is bullshit. I'm going to go Niagara Ice Dogs, because the other two don't make any sense, and that one makes sense and I feel like that one's... The Peterborough Peets makes sense to me. What was A and B again? Toronto Pasarinas. That's some kind of Mexican swear word for adulterous woman.

The Mississauga Steelheads. I think it's that one. The Mississauga. My high school girlfriend was Mexican and her parents divorced and her dad had a girlfriend. And the word for other woman in Spanish is Sancha. And I always thought that was such a perfect name for it.

Anyway, whatever. Another funny hockey fact is the Erie Otters was also the team Connor McDavid played for. Cool! Wow. A. A. Okay.

The correct answer was A. What was A? Just out of curiosity. The Manitoba. The correct one. With the fucking gangster hand. Yeah, you guys are missing gold

in the podcast. Like, my thing is like facial expressions and hand gestures and it just doesn't register. Great for an audio format. Yeah. A lot of great eyebrow work happening from Nicole Buchanan. There they go. We'll get them maneuvered. Tom, that would be when you read the next question.

Okay, next round. This is tour three. Three, round three. This is two or three. Three, round three. This is the best lost episode of Mean Boy. A, Cape Breton Screaming Eagles. B. This is something you love and you still can't say it correctly. I can't say anything today.

B, St. John's Seadogs. C. Another Seadogs? Halifax Mooseheads. D, Calgary Spadefoots. John Seadogs. C. Another Seadogs? Halifax Mooseheads. D. Calgary Spadefoots. Oh, boy. Okay.

Well, that one's got to be real. They got to be, like, petitioning that. Can you read the first three? I think it's, like, shovel related. I know, but I mean, you know. No, I know. That's what I'm saying. I'm hoping.

Yeah, yeah. Otherwise, there's a real problematic mascot. What? I mean, the baseball team's named after my favorite kind of potatoes, the red-skinned potatoes. You guys-skinned potatoes. You guys want me to read them again? Sure. A. Cape Breton Screaming Eagles. B. St. John... What?

Cape Breton Screaming Eagles. Oh, Cape Breton. I'm going to go with that one. B. St. John Sea Dogs. C. Halifax Mooseheads. D. Calgary Spadefoots. I actually know that Halifax is one of the only parts of Canada without moose in it, so I'm actually know that Halifax is one of the only parts of Canada Without moose in it

So I'm going to say Halifax Mooseheads I was going to say Halifax Mooseheads as well I actually just made that up, that's not true at all I was trying to trick everybody I pick A I like your fucking strategy here I remember a letter Well, A is not correct

Suck a butthole No You're going to do it It's got whipped cream on it Remember, a letter. Well, A is not correct. Suck a butthole. You're going to do it. It's got whipped cream on it. The fake one was D, Calgary Spadefoot. Calgary Glen Ross. A always, but it's spelled E-H. Mittens are for closes.

Round the second to last. Three is the number. No, this is four. Dumbass. Round four. C. A. D. Don't even read them. What is it? No, I'm going to read them. I will not disrespect California Velasquez.

I will not disrespect California Velasquez. I will not disrespect Cali Velasquez. But we're trying you so hard. I will not disrespect California Velasquez. I will not disrespect Crampy Tabasco. A, Kootenai Ice. Is that a rapper? B, Cuba Ventriloquist put a lot of work into the game. B, Calgary Hitman. C, Mark Ham Ice Bear Cubs. I barely know Ham Ice Bears.

D, Moose Jar Warriors. Dude, shut the fuck up. Dude, I hate hockey. Fuck you. Hockey's gay, dude. You loved it. You know you loved it. No, I do like hockey. I just don't like it's gay, dude. You loved it. You know you loved it.

No, I do like hockey. I just don't like it right now. Yeah, you love it. I stand by my apathetic selection of D. A. C. I'm going C. The correct answer was C.

Mark Ham Ice Bear Cubs. You can't just keep picking A. We're playing a game, not buying you a bra. Oh, that was good. Oh, don't get sensitive about your kind of okay boobs. They're like chubby man tits. Speaking of which, all real or all fake? D, the Chubbatova man tits.

Chubbatova. Oh, cute. I traced my DNA all the way back to a fishing village called Chubbatova, Canada. All right. All real or all fake? Cool. All real. A.

Abortsford Avalanche. Abortsford? B. Brampton Beef Beasts. Holy shit. C. Laval Loonies. Or D. Saskatoon Sappers.

These all sound like brands of liquor that Yosemite Sam drinks. B? Yeah, what was B? The Brampton Beef Beasts. I really want that one to be a true one. These are either all real or all fake because it's the last round. I say all real. I say all fake. Yeah, I say all fake because one's the last round. I say all real. I say all fake.

Yeah, I say all fake because one of them said Laval Looney. Laval Looney's. Yeah, he did the reading show. Yeah, I'm going to say all fake. All fake? The correct answer. All fake. He loses. Yeah. Great. What up, Nicole? Hockey wins.

You just both pulleded your fists away I thought there were Going to be like Multiple questions About multiple things But it was all about The same stupid thing It's the same game

Since Yeah no You were like When does it get better I love that game I like when people are like Yeah I love the podcast I love to come on

And they're like Wait how do you do What is the show Alright I'd love to come on. And they're like, wait, how do you do it? What is the show? All right. I very much enjoyed. Thank you, Callie, for spreading the good word of puck. Well, we're going to go fire Tom. And when we're back, puck as retarded.

I am fire retarded. All right. You cannot harm me. The Mean Boys podcast will be right back. Your mailbag questions right after this. Mail. The Mean Boys podcast is brought to you by Don Carlos Taco Shop in La Jolla, California. All the purveyors of the finest Mexican food that money can buy.

You guys, they have vegetarian options. They are located conveniently down the street from the La Jolla Comedy Store. See a great comedy show and get yourself a delicious burrito afterwards. But where can I find out more? Eataburrito.com and tell them the Mean Boys sent you. And maybe they'll note that mean, so maybe they won't. But, you know, spread the word and get a tasty treat while you're down in San Diego. A tasty treat that's something to eat.

Don Carlos. Burrito time. They have tacos, too. Sha-na-na-na-na-na mean, mean. All right, guys, and we're back on the last episode of Mean Boys. It's been a great run. Thank you guys for all the support. We really, no I'm fucking around.

It's time to open up the Mean Boys mail bag. Bag full of mail. Leave us your questions. Leave us a voicemail at 304-805-MEAN That is 6326 for all the fucking simpletons out there. Angel Escalante writes, if one of you guys were to end up on the show Cops or some true crime show, who would it be and why? Tom, because.

Yeah, Tom, something involving trying to use an animal as a weapon. I feel like Keith is the least lucky, so Keith would probably... I'd go down because of whatever Tom did. They would just think I was Tom. I'd be like, that is why. You know what I would love to see? If Tom committed a crime,

I would love to see the police sketch of everyone's recollection of who Tom was. They're all just trying Boo-Berry from the cereal box. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm memorable looking. Have you ever committed a crime, Nicole? No. Why are you winking like that? Everyone's committed crimes.

Have I committed a crime? What's the worst crime you've ever committed? Fuck. Oh, shoplifting. Okay Have I committed a crime? What's the worst crime you've ever committed? Fuck. Oh, shoplifting? Okay, I killed a guy. What? I'm kidding. No, I was riffing.

All right, well. I got into a fight with some guys I was on the road with when we were in fucking Oklahoma because there were a bunch of cops in front of this gas station. They're like, let's steal the cone hat thing. And then we stole it. And then the cops didn't do anything. It was fucking dumb. What cone hat?

In Oklahoma, they're like, we're going to get the cement rod, but we're going to cover them with some stupid cone. He's talking about a cone, like a traffic cone. No, it's not a traffic cone. Oh, they did the cement rods and they put the plastic cover in it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they stole that. yeah yeah and then we drove away and i was like this this we can't sell this like why why are we doing this all right guys with the passing of stephen honking who took on an americanized robot voice after losing his own what robot accent would you choose in a similar situation tom already sounds like somebody dropped a speak and spell in a bathtub so yeah i would like to be an Australian robot. Because I feel like it's the dumbest voice with the smartest kind of way to present it. I want to be Michael Bane. Wait, no.

Kane. Michael Kane. I want to be Michael Bane. Well, it's Batman related. It's just like, all right, Michael. Bane's in there. It's Mr. Wayne. That rhymes.

Prepare for you a protein shake after your night of cosplay. Why did we fall, Master Wayne? Oh, to get back up or something. That's our whole deal. Yes, Bane. Your parents thought you were a very good little boy. What are you doing, Bane? I want the guy who's just like, hey, you must stand up now, like him.

Oh, I'm a retarded guy from New Zealand. I'm Batman's slave. What are we... I'm Batman's English slave. Mortal Bane. Anybody want a crumpet? I am Parapolite Duke. And I'm the robot voice of Mr. Batman.

What? You guys? What just happened? He's doing lightning round, and his voice would be the greatest saying of all time. All right. All right. Tom, Tom, Tom. You're Michael Caine.

All right. No, you're Michael Bane. Hang on. You're Michael Bane. Name ten more Jews. Go. Come on. Come on. Dead Jewsane. Name ten more Jews. Go. Come on. Come on.

Dead Jews. I'm all Jewed out. I'm Jewed out. No, that's not bad. Stop trying to Jew us down. Oh, no. Oops. Oh, no.

I know. No Jews. No, no. God damn it. I'm not saying. Can you just edit everything he's saying all together? I'm all Jewed out. No, I don't.

I am friendly with the Jewish people. If Scarlett Johansson has kids, she has ten kids. She's got a very big pussy. Not because she's Jewish. She just has one. I forgot I'm Michael Caine. I like tea. You're a bat. We're friends somehow.

I think I used to fuck your mom. Bat Middler. Keep setting these Jewish traps for me. And I'm don't... Dude, stop using the word Jewish. At the end of the episode, we just cut together. Tom, I'm putting the word Jew on top of the refrigerator, and you don't know how to touch it anymore. You're the ones who keep bringing up the Jews.

I'm not even talking about them. And then you're like, name a bunch. Someone tweeted us, by the way, that there's a guy who says that Jews control the weather, which is one of Opie's jokes. Oh, yeah. There's a politician there. I told you it was a real thing because I did that at the top. That they control the weather? No.

People believe that they do, and you're like, that's just a joke. I was like, no, people believe it. You're like, dumbass. Now I'm vindicated. I'm vindicated that that was a real fucking thing. I am three, okay? Jews. I was a Scarlett Johansson Jew.

It was one. Then the weather. Tom, think about what you're doing with your arm right now. I was correct about the Grinch people. Scarlett Johansson Jew. I was correct about the Grinch people. It's like it's a hyphenated letter. Scarlett Johansson Jew.

They're called Israelis. Stop calling them the Grinch people. What if I told you? What if I told you about this? Over and over, I've told you. Oh, my God. Three things. Three things I've been correct about.

Three things. Michael Bane. Michael Bane. What's up? I'd want a heavy Jersey Shore robot accent. Oh, that's a good answer. Oh my God. I am one with the cosmos.

I am exploring the universe from the comfort of my beach chair. It's like totes vast. Can you wipe my butt and fuck me in a suit of leather or pleather? I do not have nerve endings to discern the difference. He cheated on his wife with like four bitches. You're goddamn right I did. This is my hoeing voice.

Load up the Nintendo cartridge that makes me sound cool. I am the fuck'em suck'em robot. By the way, any Jews listening, I'm dead. Oh my god, shut up. My dick works about as well as you think it would. Bad. Alright, so.

Scottish Lock asks, if you could get drunk with one celebrity slash person from all of history living or dead, who would it be? Isn't that your brother? Yeah. I love Brother of Keith. Yeah. Nice guy. I like him.

Yeah. What was the question? If you could get drunk with one celebrity or person from all of history living or dead, who would it be? We know yours is Hitler. I don't really like drinking, so... I love not getting the spirit. No, I like the spirit.

See, I don't care who it is as long as I get drunk again, but I'm going to go with Winston Churchill. I love that. He was bipolar, did you know that? Winston Churchill was a bad bitch. Winston Churchill was like the Eminem of the 1930s. He was just like fucking dissing people. I don't know about that one Tom he's great Michael Bane robot I love Mr. Churchill I don't know um I guess I thought that had to do with Churchill

could I get drunk with a fictional character uh no really you don't like any real people that much I mean I feel like... I don't know. Who do I like, Keith? What do I enjoy? I don't know. We can just say Glenn Danzig because I feel like he'd be out of a cool goblet with blood in it. Yeah, I mean, that would be fun. But I feel like me and him would start fighting about immigration. I just want to watch you guys fight.

Oh, you're not invited. What? You're going to just fucking bother Glenn Danzig. I'm going to have my own dancing party. I don't care about him I'll be there Okay what would have been I guess Nicole doesn't get Danzig Bill Clinton

Oh shit she's trying to get that D So have you always looked weird I'm into it yeah You ever You ever gotten dirt piped in a national park? Well, you would be the most attractive person he's ever hooked up with, all right? Don't let Connor diss you like that. I thought Monica Lewinsky was pretty hot.

Wasn't she like half teapot or some shit? You're thinking of the who's again. The word you're looking for is kind of fat. But yeah, no, she was super cute. Yeah, man, she's cute. I haven't looked up people from Bill Clinton's canon, so I don't really know who...

You want to talk about canons? Just tell me I'm hotter than Monica Lewinsky. I don't like to lie on the podcast. Monica Lewinsky's kind of a babe. I did. You're more attractive than some girl. You're Googling Monica Lewinsky and comparing yourself to her

I actually don't know what she looks like Alright guys this is actually A very important question What is the official mean boy stance on cream soda As a non-alcoholic beverage Pro or against Shockingly we just had this conversation We did I'm a big fan of cream soda

It's a very important treat in my life Why would anyone be against that? I don't know, because they're a fucking Jew. No. What would a

Mr. Rogers Neighborhood episode featuring the Mean Boys look like? Oh, come on. Her whiskey is not that good. What picture

are you looking at? Let me see. Turn it around. I'm looking at all of them. Nah, she's a cutie, man. Not my type. I mean, yeah, she's pretty cute. I'm against wh all of them. Yeah. Nah, she's a cutie, man. Not my type. I mean, yeah, she's pretty cute.

I'm against whores, so. Oh, my God. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I don't love whores. She kind of looks like Bill Clinton in some pictures, which is sort of funny. You somehow fucked her so hard she became his daughter? Yeah, I feel bad for Monica.

Okay, well, I tell myself that everyone who calls me weird looking just has impossibly high standards, but now you've just lowered your standards. I don't actually think you're weird looking. I was just trying to be funny. I apologize. Yeah. And I actually donate whores. I'm actually a big fan. So.

Me too. They're nice. Yeah. Wow, guys. It's a nice thing to do. What a show. Have any of you ever been in a fist fight? The Mr. Rogers thing?

I don't know. We're puppets, but we're anti-Semitic puppets. No. Okay, just Thomas. Grant Baxter asks, have any of you guys ever been in a fist fight?

Oh, yeah. Not really. I got punched in the face on my first day of school. Okay. Yeah, but that's because I was rapping. Well, tough but fair.

Does it count if it was in, like, a consensual sex situation? No. Wait, what? Just kidding. Well, tough but fair. Does it count if it was in a consensual sex situation? No. Wait, what? I'm just kidding. No, you're not. That's why she looks like that.

He was like, no whipped cream. It'll get in the way of the blood. Wait, wait, wait. So getting hit is different than... Well, if you punch a tit with whipped cream on it, it just looks like a pie in the face. Wait, did you really get socked in sex? Did Gallagher do a set in this hotel room what happened slapped not closed-faced okay it's too much yeah i've been punched i got punched the first day of school of special ed oh wow and i

wasn't even right i was just not special enough for the kid yeah i'm waiting for this yes she did ask me to punch her that kid kept trying to molest me later. We're having two terrifying parallel conversations. You got punched for not being special enough? I don't know why he punched me. One of us. One of us. He sure as fuck hit me. He's trying to shake up the soda that is your consciousness.

He's trying to beat you down to his level. The rest of the time on the bus, he just tried to grab my dick and then called me gay. That was Jose. Alright, well I'm going to be headlining the Velveeta Room in Austin, Texas in June. Do you have any questions? I'm sorry. No, no, no. That's pretty much it. Alright, guys. Nicole.

Wow. Sorry that we're all so out of it. Thanks for doing the podcast. I love you guys. We love you too. You're great. This comes out on Thursday so when this comes out Saturday night, if you're in Orange County, California, come see me and Nicole at the Kitsch Bar in Costa Mesa. Kitsch! Yeah, all my

other gigs are also with Keith, so just listen to where he's at and some of them will be there. Yeah, Nicole will be with me in Arcata and Ukiah in May. Oh, nice. Yeah, you can meet that one guy who lives in a trailer. Yeah, we have a big fan out there. Sounds like my type. Yeah, shout out, dude. Yeah, you know, we're going

on tour. I got some dates. I'm going to be in Pittsburgh, Kansas and I think Enid, Oklahoma next weekend. So, fucking, if you want to come to that. Yeah, next weekend I'll be in San Diego at the Comedy Palace the 24th.

Two shows, I believe. Yeah, thank you to the Air Force in general. Did an awesome show for them. And I love the Air Force. Cool people. But that was in the past, so you can't go to that. Fuck everything. God is dead. I say it's sin and grace, sin and grace, sin and grace, sin and grace, sin and grace, sin and grace, sin and grace.