Mean Boys - EP 12 - Bad Audio

Episode Date: March 12, 2016

Support the show on Patreon: www.patreon.com/meanboys This week’s segments include “Mexican Joke Off”, “Which of the Following”, “Mark Malloy Joins ISIS”, “German Morning Zoo” and ���What The Fuck Did Future Say”. Our Sponsor is “Cholo” Follow the show on Twitter @meanboyspodcast and email us at [e-mail]. Visit us on the web at http://www.meanboyspodcast.com Theme: I’ve Seen Footage by Death Grips (https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-money-store/id515449028) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey everybody, welcome to the Mean Boys Podcast. I'm Joe Dosh. I'm Keith Carey. And I'm... Transgendered Inland Empire Soccer Mom! Hooray! I've got Teddy Grahams for you boys after you're done. Oh good, Capri Suns, because we all played our best in the soccer game

Even though we lost handedly If we don't play soccer I guess we do this Maxi Kenzo Forgot I guess we play a lot of soccer No Alright Connor does look like a trans man

Who's maybe got Like he's like four of the five stages in To complete malehood Like it's working but it's not quite working Like he's right on the the five stages in to complete malehood. Like it's working, but it's not quite working. Like he's right on the cusp of passable. Yeah, like once the scraggly facial hair starts growing in. You grow like your little Mexican teenager mustache.

Like, I'm a man now! Yeah, you see that sometimes with... Oh boy, this is going to get me in trouble. Where trans men like jump the gun on growing the beard, you know? And it just looks real. That's honestly what it looks like when I grow a beard. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Just like patchy and hormonal. Oh, yeah. Just like nature didn't want this. Oh, hey, you can't. New name for Keith is a vaudeville comedian, Patchy Hormones. That's my drag queen name. Patchy Hormones.

Ooh, girl. Doing his juggling routine. Mind you, he has no balls, just his tits. I can't get over the fact of Keith Carey being a drag queen. I just picture you smoking down the runway. Your fucking heels just leaving dents in the fucking runway. Just leaving a trail of slime. I really wanted just to have some real go-getter like drag queen makeup people just go to town on me.

Because I've been saying for years I think I would be a fucking hot drag queen. You really, really would. Yeah. You would just kind of be a hot chick in general. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. I saw a woman that had my exact like facial features and complexion. And boy, was it not good.

Like the ruddy like skin of an english teen and then just like my like that like broad shoulders and then just kind of like my you know nevashi like greasy it was just you have the skin tone of like milk after the cereal is gone yeah you wow that's very good you really do have like a lot of of Anglo-Saxon inbredness going around. You look like you're the first person in your family tree to eat anything with vitamin C in it. Dodging that scurvy bullet. Yeah, I've always wanted to be the most handsome monstrosity. Well, enough of our body shaming.

I think it's time for the Mexican joke-off. Ay, so topical. I will go first this week. I don't think I'm going to go first. Hooray. A car bomb killed 27 in the Turkish capital of Ankara. Responsibility for the attack has been claimed by Subway, who are using it to promote their new

turkey explosion footlong. The flavor is radical to the extreme. I think we have a Mexican Jokoff showdown. Uh-oh. In the wake of a deadly suicide bombing, the Turkish government has banned Facebook and Twitter from the country's internet. This restriction was put in place so that citizens wouldn't be able to see posts from Oh, boy. This is a little weird. I have another joke about Turkey.

It's not the same event, but it involves... Do it. All right. A spokesman for the misogynist Turkish president Erdogan claims that Ottoman harems were educational to prepare women for life when the reporter noticed a bloody garbage bag the spokesman added and stay away from his squishy marble collection that was a hot round of turkey lightning oh yeah suck a dick turkey

turkey lightning is my other trade queen name you're not eating lean fucking poultry alright no no just the skin from like okay you're just ground beef thunder You're not eating lean fucking poultry Oh god no No just the skin You're ground beef thunder Like to make the lean Deli meat They send all the congealed

Parts of it to Keith That's how they dispose of it A bag of bird jelly It's disgusting but it's green Alright A New York man was arrested after attacking A fellow subway passenger with a Snickers bar Yeah, it's disgusting, but it's green. All right. A New York man was arrested after attacking a fellow subway passenger with a Snickers bar. Governor Christie's bail has been set at $5,000.

He's fat. He's fat, though. The state of California legislator has passed a law which will give terminally ill patients the right to die. Under the supervision of their doctor, they can now be legally administered clips of Keith Carey's stand-up routines. Well played. Was it? Anyway. It's not a bad joke.

Let me take what I can get. Hey, we're moving in the right direction. Syrian refugees were housed at a Vancouver hotel on the same night as a furry convention. The event was described

by a Trump supporter as a Bernie Sanders Norman Rockwell painting. I like the car that started to laugh and then was like, wait, I don't quite know what all those mean. Like he wanted to understand it more than he actually did. That's called coasting on cadence. Okay, so I

like how me like trying to be supportive turns into Connor's dumb. Yeah, Connor, you're very, very stupid, but I'll just for the very sake, to help you out, I'll let you know that it's brilliant. I know what Siri references are. God damn it, I didn't stick a landing on it. I know what Bernie Sanders is.

That's like watching a diver do like four sweet flips and just land on his stomach. Of all the goddamn times to condescend to someone, it was right then when I couldn't get a sentence out for the life of me. That's God punishing me for my hubris. Take it away. You're both garbage. All right. Gunman murdered 16 people when they stormed into three hotels in Ivory Coast.

A slain hotel manager was heard shouting, You don't have to do this. The continental breakfast is free. A stray bullet has struck an 18-year-old woman in West Philadelphia. The victim is in critical condition at her auntie and uncle's in Bel Air. I knew it was coming. It still made me so happy the russian military is training dolphins to fight in a new marine mammal combat program

the dolphins responded we all have good times and commit war crimes under the sea like singing joe i did too violent protests continue to escalate at Donald Trump rallies this week. Trump threatened to send his supporters to disrupt Bernie Sanders' events, while Sanders threatened to hold up the line all goddamn day if this Target clerk didn't accept his expired coupon for cat food. I tweeted, if you watch Bernie Sanders' talk with the TV on mute, he looks like he's arguing with someone that's not accepting his coupons. Exactly.

And like your punchline is like right in one word, not like spread out over two and a half sentences. Yeah, I didn't spread it on a fucking hard roll like some hot mustard. Exactly. It's like taking a fucking half of a Subway loaf and spreading one teaspoon of peanut butter all across the whole goddamn thing. It's for maximum bready non-effectiveness. Bready non-effectiveness? They're all good. Let's hear your dumb thing.

Here's the problem, though. It's actually not very good. I'll be the judge of that. One quarter of independent U.S. abortion clinics have closed down since 2011. Big box chain abortion clinics have driven mom and pop operations off the market,

ironically leading to a lot more moms and pops. Well, when you're right, you're right, Connor. I don't like how he jumped on the own grenade he pulled the pin out of right before that.

Yeah, all right, Joe. Now it's your turn. A Russian entrepreneur has started a business called Tittygram where customers can pay models to write personalized notes on their breasts. Its success has given him high hopes for a second business, Dick Novels. Actress Sofia Vergara won a Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Award for Best TV Actress.

She was slimed on stage while a picture of her eating a banana was slimed in my bathroom. It's a real thing. Google picture of her eating a banana was slimed in my bathroom. It's a real thing. Google Sofia Vergara eating a banana. The Wounded Warriors project has come under fire after former employees leaked details of lavish company events that included five-star restaurants, strippers, and insensitive games of pin the prosthetic limb on the homeless person. A Calgary health spa is offering a class called Rage Yoga, where students are encouraged to release tension however they see fit. Based on its success, the spa has started a new class, Slayer Pilates.

Oh, wow. I mean, I think we're going to throw the commercial, and then we have a new business venture to hash out. Slayer Pilates. All right. All right, boys. That was a truly passive-aggressive round of Mexican joke. That's true.

It really was. We're salty today. I don't know what's going on. Yeah, some days it's sexual tension. Some days it's good vibes. Some days it's just straight-up office side-eye. Who the fuck ate my lunch last Wednesday? I'll see you at the water cooler, bitch.

I like to think it's all a manifestation of sexual tension, really. I mean, it comes in a lot of flavors. Yeah, there's the father, the son, the holy footsie under the table. I feel you, Joe. Alright? I know that loafer anywhere. I like that you think I wear loafers. It makes sense

that I'm that in the theater. You're like a cool old grandpa who also wants to fuck Connor. I don't think you wear them out, but do I think you have a pair of house loafers for when you're reading like Russian literature? I would bet my life on of house loafers when you're reading Russian literature? I would bet my life on it. Oh, you're right, my friend. All right, well, that was fun.

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More like Fifty Shades of Gay, am I right? Up top, brother Hello participants in the agony of existence You are listening to Germany's only morning zoo radio program, Gunther und Johann in the morning. We will deliver comedy to you efficiently so that it might distract you from the unfailing horror of life. Hello, Johann.

Hello, Gunther. Johann and I went to the bar last night, and I say, Johann, the woman you went home and had sex with was so ugly, it will no doubt shame you that I am calling attention to it on this public broadcast. Indeed, Johan, the woman you went home and had sex with was so ugly, it will no doubt shame you that I am calling attention to it on this public broadcast. Indeed, Gunther, but she was less ugly than the women you yourself have had sex with, and always will throughout eternity with no exception.

Augment the humor with noises. Amusing. I joked on you, only to have you turn it around and make a more brutal mockery of myself, like a murderer who meets his end at the hand of his victim's son. Let it now be topical. Events of global significance will now become fodder for caprice. How absurd.

Chancellor Angela Merkel, despite resistance from the Alternative für Deutschland party, has maintained a policy of open-door admission for Syrian refugees. This wave of refugees will now be renamed the Johan's Mother Parade, because in spite of being a German woman,

Johan's mother has a comparable amount of body hair and similar build to a Middle Eastern man. Perhaps, Gunther, the refugees are immigrating to your mother's house because she is a broken woman with no sense of sexual moderation. Play the sounds that mark the triumph of my humor. My joke has once again rebounded on me shamefully. My life is a nightmarish maze from which there is no deliverance.

Now is the time of taking callers. The taking of calls will give our listeners a sense of control in a life in which they navigate an uncaring void always at risk of annihilation. Hans from Frankfurt, you are on with Gunther and Johann in the morning. Hello, Gunther and Johann. Your whimsy fills me with contempt. Hans, you're from Frankfurt. All women from Frankfurt are sexually unattractive. Your wife or main sexual partner is undoubtedly no exception. Ja, she brings me sorrow instead of joy. Terminate the call.

Fritz from Stuttgart, you're on with Gunther and Johann in the morning. Yeah, Gunther and Johann. Would you rather listen to nothing but Justin Bieber music for the rest of your life or perform cunnilingus on a homeless woman? No matter the choice you make, the result is lamentable. Oh, Fritz, you are like God,

who offers the illusion of free will, yet all decisions lead to the yawning grave. Now the radio program will end, for spending any more time on frivolity would be a contemptible disgrace. This is Gunther und Johann in the morning. Alright, Mean Boys is back. We have a brand new game to play.

It is a game that I stole from the Tim Conway Jr. show, which you can listen to on my favorite radio station, KFI AM640, more stimulating talk radio, your one-stop shop for all vaguely pro-Trump broadcasting. It's a very funny game that he plays called What the Hell Did Jesse Jackson Say? You know, but Jesse Jackson's not going to be around forever. That's a little dated. I decided to update this game for the mean boys. This is What the fuck did future say

what is this garbage get in the truck son i like how you won't do jesse jackson because it's dated whereas you chose a more timeless figure like future it's right there in the names when you're out what i think of lasting yeah i think of lasting through the ages i'm just saying, Future's presidential campaign got a lot more steam. That's all. Yeah, this is all lyrics and hooks and stuff from Future songs, and you guys have to tell me what the fuck he said. So let's get started.

What the fuck did Future say? I distinctly heard the word mozzarella. The rest of it is a blur. Something and something your mama's. I make the matzah on Shabbos. All right, I'm going to play it one more time. I'm going to go with I make the matzah on Shabbos. This is a real gritty reboot of

Alright, you guys, those are the final answers? Yeah, I'm going with matzah on Shabbos. Alright. I peel those hundreds on hundreds. I get that money on money. No, he might think he said that. That's for sure not the sound that came out of his fucking neck. Exactly.

He doesn't just decide what he said. Hey, guys. The good folks at RapGenius.com have my back. We're going to move on to number two. I love this game already. I feel the money. What the fuck did he just say? Well, first of all, he sounds like fucking Frank Pentangeli from The Godfathers.

Cheechy! You want to try again? What the fuck? I believe he said, My family doesn't eat in Las Vegas or in Miami, Conheim and Roth. That's a Godfather reference for you. I'll go with this. Yeah, I tried to watch The Godfather one time on a bus,

and it was boring. I didn't get it. Well, by God, if it can't hold your attention on a fucking greyhound. Make a little love on that rich sex. That doesn't even make... That makes it somehow less sex. How do you make love on that rich sex. That doesn't even make... That makes somehow less sex. How do you make love on sex? It's like an ancient Egyptian riddle.

You're not nearly black and healthy enough to understand. Is the answer to that written on the back of the Sphinx? That's like... Alright, that's racist somehow. I don't know exactly how. That could be the tagline for this show. Number three. What the fuck did Future say?

Hard to tell the Ziggy the family circus coming up. That's my guess. Let's hear it one more time, guys. I think you'd believe he said, it's hard to tell where Ziggy is when the family circus is coming up. This is a joke about the comics page and about how you can't find family circus

when Ziggy is so fun. Look, I'm not trying to apply logic to this. I'm just going off what I'm being given. Everybody knows Future's a big fan of the Sunday Funnies. Oh, yeah. Aren't we all? All right. All the time that I see you, give my word that I'll be yours.

That one almost sounds like that's what he said. Yeah. All right. Number four. What? I'm going to need a little more to go on. I think he said, oh, man, Connor's gay. Play it again.

Okay. I really think. Oh, man, Connor's gay. Play it again. Okay, I really think... Oh man, Connor's gay. Oh my God, I'm gay. Connor, if I didn't trust you to do your homework on this game, I would say you cut him off in mid-word. There's no way that's a whole... No, that's...

Yeah, that's the hook of the song. Oh my goodness. You know, I'm trying... I'll give you... It's four words. Okay. You know, I'm trying so hard not to be a millennial-hating old man before my time, but then I hear shit like this, and I'm doing my best here, guys.

I had heard the name Future, and I just saw him on SNL because he was on last week. And my God, is this bad. You should have to be able to speak to be a rapper. Yeah, he's, I think, the most successful mumbler of all time. Like, musical or otherwise. There's, like, this whole genre of very mumbler of all time. Like, musical or otherwise. There's, like, this whole, like, genre of, like, very mumbly rap that I can't get into. He's, like, the exact opposite of Aesop Rock, who's almost, like, too verbose to be rhythmic. Yeah.

I mean, you know, that way over whatever the fuck the song is. I like some future stuff, but not, mostly when he's on other people's songs. But, like, I was just... I can see that being fine for, like, ten seconds on a song. Yeah, I just don't know what the fuck he's on other people's songs. But I was just... I can see that being fine for like 10 seconds on a song. Yeah, I just don't know what the fuck he's saying. So that is a... Fuck up some commas. What?

He's gonna fuck up some commas. Commas has to be slang for something I'm too white to understand. It's funny, Joe. 10 commas means like thousands. Yeah, yeah. Fuck up some commas. You know, call me judgmental, but I wouldn't have guessed Future had a big strong grip on punctuation. There's actually a Silver Lake parody of this.

Fuck up some tapas. And they are. They're Caucasian-ness. And the last, last entry in What the Fuck Did Future Say? What the fuck did Future say what the fuck did future say shorty made tron i'm just thinking of shorty made tron i bet i'm right at least half of it true true dimension i don't know That makes sense True dimension Maybe it's like He's like rapping about

The Duncan Trussell podcast When he goes off In the fucking multiverse Or something I don't know I really thought That this game would be I think you guys

At least get some right Why? How could He's saying Tony Montana No he's not There's an R in there There's no That's the name of the song.

It's called Tony Montana. I'm trying to figure out what a baby is saying, but the baby has more money than I ever will. You heard it first. Keith Carey, black people are babies. No, that's not true. I like babies. Oh, look at you, misdirection.

Get you a sash, misdirection. This is what happens when you get too successful and you're surrounded by yes men. No one wants to correct your fucking speech impediment. He needs to go to fucking Sylvan Learning Center or something. That video has about 44 million

44 million hits on the U2s. I got the future rapper up there mumbling and mumbling his way through the English language. I'm kind of expanding the U2 leprechaun. Here to announce all the delay for 15 second videos. Here to announce all the delight for 15 second videos for you to distract yourself

throughout the day. We have a dancing pony. We have cute animal videos. We have videos of puppies for you to watch in your cubicle throughout the work week instead of being productive.

You're sure to lose a job eventually and go back to your sad, sad life with all the travelers when you can pull these little videos up on your phone

and distract yourself from the futility of existence. I'm Connor McSpan, the YouTube Leprechaun. Here to wish you a good day and fuck you. It just kept going. Oh, my God. Well, hey, future. Well, this game was worth that, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, that was the first and last round of what the fuck did future say. I enjoyed that a lot. It is not the last appearance of Connor McSSpadden, YouTube leprechaun. Let me tell you. Hi, hi, hi, hi. God damn.

The only memorable character on the show about me, and it's not even my voice. We don't even let you say your name. I know, yeah. Well, yeah, I think that would be great. Five years from now, everyone's like, yeah, what's that third guy's name? We never get to it. Don't read the show notes notes because I'm an idiot. All right.

All right. Well, me boys, we'll be right back. State your name and read from the script. My name is Tom Hollenbot. I am a journalist captured by the Islamic State. I have sworn allegiance to America, the great Satan, for which I will pay for my life by the will of Allah. This man is Western swine and an enemy of Islam,

for which there can be no mercy. We make no demands of any authority watching this video. We are showing you the fate of all those who oppose the will of the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria. And Worcester! Wait, what? The Islamic State of Iraq, Syria, and Worcester.

I totally fucking conquered everywhere on Southbridge, west of the Shell Station, for the fucking Caliphate. There's some old fucking boss gangs floating around that might give you some shit, but they're usually too drunk to find the boss still sunk up their cavernous snatch. They ain't gonna do shit. I'm sorry. Who are you? This is the new convert I was

telling you about. I don't remember this. You don't listen. Oh, fuck, bro. My bad. My name is Mark Malloy, loyal fucking soldier of Allah's glorious caliphate over here. You're our new member. Oh, yeah, bro. I got laid off from the fucking warehouse, and I haven't had shit to do but watch YouTube since my last DUI, and I saw your web presence, and I got radicalized to shit, kid.

I see. Fuck America, bro. Seriously. They're taking fucking drones, and they're blowing up weddings in Yemen. And a fucking Bud Light Tallboy is like eight bucks now. Like I'm buying four of them for some skank from Somerville. Not when I can secure my place in Allah's fucking paradise by spreading the Wahhabi to all ends of the earth. Right, Bakweer?

My name is Bashir, brother. Fucking Bakweer. Bakweer, relax. I'm fucking with you. Pull your tampon out. Brother Mark. You even let your brads have tampons around here? You guys are fucking nuts. Brother Mark, we appreciate your enthusiasm,

but we're trying to spread Allah's message right now. Oh, sure, kid, sure, kid. The cab would take the shit out of this dude. Hey, how about I sack tap him a few times before you cut his fucking head off, huh? Yeah, you like that? You fucking take that in the nuts, you imperialist douche. Oh, oh, oh, oh, my nuts. Mark, Mark, just please, we're fine.

We got it, okay? Sure, dude, whatever you say. All right. I ensheed this blade that it may bathe in the blood of the infidel. May Allah's will be done. No, no, no, no! Hello? Hey, Pete.

No, I can't go watch the Pats game right now, kid. I'm in fucking Damascus. Damascus, you dumb cunt. Why don't you borrow another 20 bucks from your mother and buy a globe, you fucking retard? You did too, you fucking douchebag. You're a fucking douchebag. That's it, Mark. Go wait outside.

You are ruining our beheading. Just get out of here. We'll initiate you into the Islamic State another time. Just go. All right, all right. You know what, man? You could be a little fucking friendlier. You've been a dick to me since I got here.

I'm an American who defected to ISIS, which is already fucked up. I used all my fucking sky miles to fly to Dubai. And then I rode in the trunk of an old fucking Soviet Jeep the rest of the way with fucking swamp nuts from a 30-hour flight, and I don't know how I'm gonna explain to that rag at the unemployment office that I couldn't look for a job because I've been in fucking Syria for three weeks. He's right, Hamza. You're not nice. If we want to install a one-world theocracy, you have to learn how to be a people person. You know, you're right, Mark. I apologize. I am honored and humbled to have you as a soldier of the right, Mark. I apologize. I am honored

and humbled to have you as a soldier of the Caliphate. I tell you what, tomorrow we'll make another proclamation and you can write the entire thing. Fuck yeah, dude. Let's celebrate with a solemn, respectful, fast kid. The next day, we represent the Islamic State of Iraq and

Levant and we issue the following decree. The Jets suck. I'm surprised Tom Brady could find the time to win four Super Bowls, given all the time he spends fucking your mom, bro. Yankees fans are cunts, and the Giants haven't had a team since my fucking balls descended. Philly girls are ugly, and all Steeler fans are a bunch of cheesesteak-eating queers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Queers.

Queers. Queers. Queers. Fuck yeah, yeah. Queers. Queers. Queers. Queers. Fuck yeah, bro. Get him. The entire world will submit to Wahhabi Islam just like Eli Manning submits to the fucking fireman he dates every night. Praise Allah. Hey, that fucking Haji said the Jets suck.

I'll kick his fucking ass, kid. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way.

No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way.

No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way.

No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way.

No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way.

No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. 50 years later. And as president of the United States today, I honor the memory of Mark Malloy, the brave American covert operations agent who infiltrated the Islamic State and succeeded in rallying all the East Coast dipshits of this great nation

into a unified force to defeat them. May God bless him, and may God bless America. And we are back with the Mean Boys podcast. Hooray! And it is time for us to close out the show, as always, with a round of our favorite game, Witch of the Following. Jingles. Music that we stole from a thing.

All right. I'm taking the wheel on Witch of the Following this week. This week, we are going to be playing with titles of cartoons from Circle World War II. I don't know. Joe, I feel like, definitely knows this. I don't know how deep you've gone on this. There is a fucking treasure trove of cartoons made in the United States, mostly by Warner Brothers and Disney. And as it turns out, it was cool and patriotic to be racist as fuck.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Back then. So we're going to be racist as fuck back then. So we're going to be playing with titles. So I got a few rounds of these. Round number one. Which of the following is not a real cartoon? Number one.

Donald gets drafted. Number two. Bugs Bunny nips the nips. Number three. Hotsy totsy Nazis. Or number four. Russian Rhapsody. Okay.

First of all, Bugs Bunny nips the nips is very real. Because there's this point where Bugs, he's like handing out like food rations or something, and he's sort of going, here you go, gook face, here you go, slam out. Here you go, slam out. That's the quote. Wow. Yep. Oh, my. Shit. I'm gonna go with, I'm gonna go, Russian Rhapsody sounds

the most innocent, so I'm gonna choose that. That sounds like one of those ones where they like, one of those serious Looney Tunes where they, like, do, like, ballet or something. What was the third one? Hotsy Totsy Nazis. Shit. I'm going to say Donald gets drafted. The correct answer is C, Hotsy Totsy Nazis. Is that like an Andrews Sisters song?

You're a Hotsy Totsy Nazi and you're going to... It's actually a line from the producers. Springtime for Hitler. God damn it. Another one of my queer failings.

Recognizing musical numbers. Round number two. Which of the following is not a real cartoon? Number one, Making a

Messolini. Number two, Daffy the Commando. Number three, Confessions of a Nazi Spy. Or number four, You're a Sap,

Mr. Jap. Oh, Jesus. You're a sap, Mr. Jap. Oh, Jesus Christ. You're a sap, Mr. Jap is a Popeye cartoon where he sings it. You're a sap, sap, sap, Mr. Jap. That one also has one of my favorite lines

in cartoons. I never met a Jap that wasn't yellow. Well, I like that Keith really accurately predicted Joe's extensive knowledge of racist cartoons. By the way,

this was the one advantage of fighting the Japanese, is their culture is so, like, all about loyalty and not dissenting, that you could just hate an entire race, and you know that, like, there's no, like, well, there's some good ones. No, they're all on board with Hirohito to the T. So, cast a wide net. Old Joe Truman Dasha. Holy shit.

So you're not a bottom or a top, you're an Enola game. Well, you are. Did you just say evil is in their blood? Oh my goodness. I want to say making a Messalini. By the way, in all these cartoons, Messalini is always portrayed as big closet queen. There's one where they're marching around and the Daffy Duck Hirohito is playing a trombone into his ass when they're in a parade.

I don't know why that came from. What was the second one? The second one was Daffy the Commando. I'm going to say that one. All right. The correct answer is A, making a Messalini. Ah, you fuck. Well, nothing.

Round number three. Number one, Snufu. Number two, Tokio Messaline. Ah, you fuck. Well, nothing. Round number three. Number one, Snufu. Number two, Tokyo Jokio. Number three, Superman vs. the Japa Tours. Are these new segments for me, boys? Or number four, Yellow Dolly. Yellow Dolly. It reeks of Carrie, and I'm glad it does.

Yeah, I would say Yellow Dolly. The great answer is Yellow Dolly just, it reeks of Carrie, and I'm glad it does. Yeah, I would say Yellow Dolly. The great answer is Yellow Dolly. Yellow Dolly. Yellow, you sneaked into the base and you looked like you stand into the sun. Round four. Would you not expect this game to get racist? What do you want? No, it's going exactly how I wanted it to.

I'm an innocent bystander, and you are digging a hole. You are never going to perform in Japan. Oh, boy. Round four. Number one, The Ductators. Number two, Kooky Krauts. Number three, Hair, H-E-R-R, meets Hair, H-A-R-E. Number four, Der Fuhrer's Face.

Kooky Krauts is also my favorite cereal. I believe it's Kooky Krauts. He's hateful even in milk. I'm going to say Kooky Krauts because I have seen all the others. Kooky Krauts would be my favorite. Joe is correct. During my drinking days, a lot of time was spent just boozing alone, watching fucking old propaganda films.

That's about right. If you're out there and you're hurting, believe me, I've been there. The eighth step, clearing your internet history. Versus cartoons. Everything about your life

should have led you to just like, and then I killed a lot of Asians. You know, I'm surprised there's not a manifesto in there somewhere.

I guess it's the Mean Boys podcast. So get those energies out creatively, everybody. Yeah, you really are the Dorner of tasteless sketches. Alright. And finally, round five.

The lightning round is always, are these all real or all fake? And I'll just tell you, it's going to be pretty easy to guess, but I had a lot of fun doing it. Number one, Axis of Weasels. Number two, The New Adventures of Fat Man and Little Boy. Number three, Tom and Jerry in Mauschwitz and number four

Swastika Fragilistic Expealidocious get get leave sleep go home and think about

what you did Swastika Fragilistic Expealidocious when I see what they've done to the Jews it's really quite atrocious for me

do re mi fa so quite atrocious. Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-gas. The Russian sour and old Berlin with all these big explosions. That's a count of prejudice against me. I'm a docious.

Stop the recording. We nailed it. I'm going to get the Jews hungered up. I fucked it up. Whatever. You got it. You did not.

That was a glorious, beautiful addition. That was witch of the following. A lot of times with the racist elements of this podcast, I feel like the friend that's on the outskirts of the gang, and they're like, yeah, we're just going to go get some Funyuns, and then you guys just shoot somebody and then drive away, and I'm like, oh, I guess I'm part of this now. Never mind. Yeah.

Well, I feel like you're worried like now we're gonna go too far after all we've done with this show we're all our souls are muddied oh no we know we've offended the all powerful japanese look we've all look we've all got the scarlet a on our spirits the moment we decided i had some college gigs in japan and i guess i uh i was waiting for him to finalize well here's here's as good a segue as you can speaking of stars places they shouldn't be if gigs in Japan and I guess I was waiting for him to finalize some. Oh boy. Here's as good a segue as you can get. Speaking of stars, places they shouldn't be, if you wanted to leave a four star review on iTunes, how many stars did they go to?

Not quite perfect, but it's pretty good. Let's be honest with what we deserve. Leave us a little room for improvement. So far we have perfect ratings, so if you want to be the naysayer that muddies that all up. Say nay! Yeah. Review it, subscribe it, Hey, so far we have perfect ratings. So if you want to be the naysayer that muddies that all up. Say nay. Yeah.

Yeah. Review it. Subscribe it. Bop it. Shake it. Twist it. Jerk it. Oh, my goodness.

Yeah. Follow the show at Mean Boys Podcast. Keith's album this Saturday. Yeah. Inventure at Hypno Comics. Come through. I will be there. Joe was not invited. I would really love to be there,

but I can't. I'm going to be in San Diego with the Comedy Pals. But I would love to watch Keith Carey's album, and you should too, because he's an extraordinarily talented man,

despite the utter lack of respect we give to him most of the time. Fair enough. And before your album, I'm doing a clean set at a Dave & Buster's. What? Not anymore.

Because my life is an enigma. Just play an episode of this show yeah hey for real though everyone out there who's listening like the amount of feedback we've been getting from you from all our listeners

has really really been great it really means a lot to us that you guys listen and you like what we do we appreciate it very much very much so yeah but seriously folks

alright guys we had a lot of fun here on Mean Boys that's why I'm Joe Dosh and I want to get serious oh I didn't see you come in Joe I didn't see you, and I want to get serious. Oh, I didn't see you come in. I want to talk to you about molestation. I didn't see you. Joe, were you wearing a sweater?

It's not that big of a deal. You don't really need to go to therapy. Just suck it up. We'll be back in when it ends faster. Joe, were you wearing a sweater vest this whole time? Dude, that materialized over you when you started being sincere. Fucking Queen Belvedere over here. Good day, everybody.

Play dead.