Mean Boys - EP 121 - Flesh Tuba (Live in Chicago)

Episode Date: April 10, 2018

We're on tour, come see us! http://meanboyspodcast.com Support the show on Patreon: www.patreon.com/meanboys This week’s segments include “Mexican Joke Off”, "Did They Die", "Mean Boys Fan or Sex Offender" and "Tom Tompardy". Plus Connor finally eats soup. Fuck with the new Mean Boys subreddit: www.reddit.com/r/meanboys/ Subscribe to our YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/channel/UC0hvkj7TOPzMdJbKIh1L_hw Shop Sudio headphones and use promo code "MEANBOYS" for 15% off all purchases: goo.gl/JWBAJK Contribute to the Mean Boys wiki: mean-boys.wikia.com/wiki/Mean_Boys_Wiki Send us an email at [e-mail] or leave us a voicemail at [phone] We are proudly sponsored by Don Carlo's Taco Shop in La Jolla California (www.eataburrito.com) Follow our guest Darius Kennedy on Twitter: http://twitter.com/dookbreeze Follow our guest Bob Keen on Twitter: http://twitter.com/thebobkeen Follow The North Bar on Twitter: http://twitter.com/liveatnorthbar Follow the show on Twitter: twitter.com/meanboyspodcast Follow Keith on Twitter: twitter.com/keithtellsjokes Follow Connor on Twitter: twitter.com/connormcspadden Follow Tom on Twitter: twitter.com/gossgoss6 Visit us on the web: www.meanboyspodcast.com Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/meanboyspodcast Follow us on Instagram: instagram.com/meanboyspodcast Follow us on Soundcloud: @meanboyspodcast Theme: I’ve Seen Footage by Death Grips (itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-mon…tore/id515449028) Buy Keith’s album (itunes.apple.com/us/album/forever-nap/id1105182043) Podcast logo by Luis Galvez: twitter.com/luiagal Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Call 1-866- 531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca Please play responsibly. Okay, so take three. I forgot to press record again. Man, this Zoom 6 was a great investment, everybody. It's the Mean Boys podcast.

This is our live episode from the North Bar in Chicago. Thank you for coming out, everybody. We packed the place. You guys were fucking amazing. Not only were you a wonderful audience, you guys were all so awesome to hang out with, and we had such a good time shooting the shit with you and making fun of you and taking your shit. And it was just a beautiful evening, and we're very grateful for that.

Milwaukee, too, was out of this world. I just want to give a quick shout-out to the comics who are on this show. Bob Keene, Darius Kennedy, Brandon Kiefer, and you won't hear them because it's standard, but Ed Towns was super funny as well. Follow them all on social media. They'll be tagging the show notes. And you had to deliver a special

shout-out, right, Keith? Oh, yeah. Somebody, Brian in Milwaukee, I was told to tell you that you exist on this podcast. So there you go, champ. Oh, boy. That was worth it, huh? I ate the soup finally. I certainly ate the fucking soup and almost puked. Tom has GoPro footage of it from a camera that was strapped to his face.

Speaking of which. Yeah, speaking of which, I'm doing weird recordings of all this and editing it together and putting it up as a vlog on the Mean Boys YouTube page. So go ahead and subscribe to the Mean Boys YouTube page if you haven't already and watch the vlogs if you want to go ahead and check out some of the tours in Sanity. It's been a ton of fun. I also shout out everyone who's come out. You guys have made this a fucking blast.

So thank you. Yeah, man. And Tom is fucking killing these vlogs. I didn't know that Tom had secret like rain man editing skills but it's like very i'm like i want to watch a whole reality show of just like a day in the life of your big dumb forehead uh yeah but seriously it's been fucking incredible i i didn't uh it's crazy that uh you know you guys listen and you like it and it's like the the dumbest it's obviously that's what's going on here but it's we've all been really fucking blown away by it and uh we got

a few more dates left coming up can't wait to fucking do them i'm having the probably the best time of my life if i'm being honest we're going to fucking indiana this weekend mmj comedy festival we're going to philly pittsburgh dc kent ohio the metropolis of kent ohio get detroit detroit is also and new york fucking city. Yeah, that's right. And our new iTunes review goal, since the soup is behind us, is 400 reviews, and we'll get Keith's mom with a podcast. I have not run this by her. I have no idea how she'll respond, but I will make it happen. I'm going to pay for all the paperwork to get her registered as a therapy hooker so we can get her on a plane. Speaking of reviews,

this person writes, I'm going to tase Tom. I'm completely dead inside, but you guys bring me joy, and I'm going to tase Tom at MMJ in Fort Wayne. See you on the 12th, boys. I just want to point out, this is the guy who DM'd me,

no, you're not. We already talked about this. Do not bring your taser to the show. Yeah, you're not allowed to tase Tom because that's my closer because I didn't write jokes. Bring it, but let's see how I'm feeling. All right. Let's feel it out. I'm definitely this is not a review thing.

Let's see what mood I'm in. It's probably no, but maybe just bring it just in case I'm feeling spiffy. And also, yeah, bring it just in case, yeah. You know, I'm feeling spiffy, you know, like a paper boy from the 50s, and I'd like to be electrocuted by a redneck. And your support on Patreon helps keep our bellies full of deep dish pizza and sad boy ice cream that we just got at the CVS after a show at the Laugh Factory.

And for five bucks a month, you get weekly bonus episodes where we talk shit, we tell stories, and me and Opie occasionally get into arguments about fried chicken. And 10 bucks a month gives you a little goodie, a little treat in the mail every single month. And those are a lot of fun. We've got buttons, fucking koozies, all that kind of shit so uh hop on over there uh and frankly this is where you're gonna make a difference all right like you know the big guys wtf unicef the red cross i mean they're fucking they're sledding with your money like like the joker and the dark knight but uh the mean boys if we don't have that uh we're going to die. So you really can make a difference.

Oh, yeah, do that. Give us the money. Sorry, it's weird. We have to keep pointing the mic at each other. Yeah, I just realized I've been talking for a while. Yeah, I know. You were killing it. I was just excited to listen to what you had to say.

We're sponsored, as always, by Don Carlos Taco Shop in La Jolla, California. The finest Mexican food that money can buy. Ladies and gentlemen, go to eataborito.com for more information. And, of course, buy Sudio headphones. And no one is more shocked to me than me that people keep buying Sudio headphones. And Sudio keeps emailing us when they send us the money. They're like, what are you guys doing? You're doing so much better.

Mr. Ear here, just go ahead and send me to Sweden. I would love to extradite you to Sweden, Mr. Ear. If I ever go to Sweden, Tom is dead. Mr. Ear is the new hearable delight in this town of city of country of Sweden. Oh, and you will stand trial for your crimes in The Hague, you horrible piece of shit. No, seriously, Tom, Mr. Ear has made us more money

than any other studio-branded podcast. Oh, you all said no. Now who's laughing? Only you. Only you are laughing. And you can hear it with your ears. Mr. Ears. I'm listening to Tom through studio headphones.

I'm wearing the Regence. It's the premium on-ear model, and it is horrifyingly crisp, painfully precise, and it's amazing. They've got Bluetooth capability with battery life that could outlast the fucking apocalypse. And a wire, a fucking auxiliary cord that refuses to tangle. I've tangled every single cord I've ever had in my life, including my umbilical cord. I tried to hang myself in the womb. That was a little bit of a precursor to this. You're just preemptively trying to get away from fucking Mr. E.

I had a premonition. Did you actually have an umbilical cord around your neck? Yeah, they wanted a C-section. My mom's like, ah, no C-section. I want natural birth. They're like, well, you might die. And she's like, no, my pussy can handle it. And everything was fine.

She said it like Superman. Well, I think we figured out. I just got a lot of answers on the Tom Goss front. Is prenatal oxygen oxygen deprivation man your mom if your mom just had one scar you wouldn't be a podcasting superstar it's weird how the world works but uh let me tell you uh you use your headphones every single day i use my studios every single day and uh it's a little thing but it's like get a nice mattress you know get a nice television get a nice you Get a nice work chair. And invest in some nice headphones and treat yourself.

It's worth it. You'll use them every day and you'll be glad you did. And you hop on over to studioswedan.com. Use promo code MEANBOYS, all one word, M-E-A-N-B-O-Y-S. And you'll get 15% off your order and free shipping all over the globe. So go snap those up. But in the meantime, enjoy this week's live episode. Oh, I just wanted to say, for the longest time,

I know you guys tweeted us, and this is kind of a genuine thing, but I thought that all of you were fucking Connor behind a keyboard, and actually meeting you guys has been completely overwhelming, and it's really warmed my heart. So thank you guys all so much for listening. It's just been fucking incredible, so thank you. Yeah yeah your boy got a little steamy after that chicago show i was just like we all got a little choked up when you hear about why the one lady or where the one lady was before the show you'll understand why we all got a little choked up and even more so that uh someone listens

to the show who is a cholo jujitsu fanatic that lives in chicago Shout out to Andy, man. Andy rules. Fuck yeah, dude. We had hot dogs with Andy afterwards. Thank you for the sandwich, by the way. All the people who drove from insane far places to come. Sorry, this is a long intro,

but it's just truly insane. Six hours on a bus and fucking shit like that and three hours out of town. It was mind-boggling, you guys. Yeah, it was fucking unbelievable. The one lady who took a Greyhound further than we did

to get to this show. We love making this show for you guys we are uh we're honored that you like it and we're gonna keep doing it as long as you keep loving it yeah and it's uh it's a fucking that was the yeah this is the coolest thing i've ever gotten to do in my career is i perform for you know 50 people that uh that like us and uh and get what we It was amazing. So thank you very much. And now listen to me bomb the jokes and have to eat soup for your sick entertainment. All right, guys. That's enough sincerity. You guys are gay and retarded.

Enjoy the show. Wretched pig children. Prepare yourself for the Mean Boys! Holy shit, what's up everybody? Welcome to the Mean Boys Podcast live in North Bar in Chicago. I'm Connor McSpadden. I'm Kid Cary. And I am... A keyboard elf for a store brand cookie. And this is Mean Boys Live. Holy shit, there's a lot of you. You know what's even more impressive?

We sold only single tickets. You guys all came by yourself. Not one person here has ever fucked. This is amazing. This is an all-time low for eye contact in the city of Chicago. In this building right now. you should be proud of yourselves. Yeah, we've harvested enough autism to power a thousand calculators.

Hell yeah. Tom Goss has a GoPro strapped to his face. Hello? He's real. Can you believe it? Here's a fun story. We were in Milwaukee before this, and Tom walked into the University of Milwaukee like this, and you just saw every kid there just go,

what's the active shooter protocol again? We don't think so, but we don't know for sure. I could be the film major. They don't know. They knew I didn't go there. This is what film majors do. You look like a miner in the future. Okay, fine.

I'm a film miner. What do you want from me? Hey, Tom is mining for Bitcoin. I think we should respect that. And porn. Yeah. Well, guys, we had ourselves a whole fuck of a day. We slept for two hours after we got hammered with a bunch of nerds in Milwaukee.

And then we got on a megabus, which is like being trapped in a metal tube with 40 people that Spider-Man busted for mugging. It's fucking horrifying. Yeah, it was just like a fucking 20-foot stab wound is what the Megabus from Milwaukee to there is. There was a guy sitting behind you guys that was like aggressively autistic and getting super angry. Oh, yeah. Well, here's the population of the Megabus. Half black people, us, this autistic guy. And he was not doing great i'm gonna be honest with

you guys he like bumped into somebody who's like i was just trying to get into my seat i was trying to get to my i don't give a fuck if you're trying to get in your seat man and i was just kind of like i think it's the same rules if he freaks out as like a chimp at the zoo where it's like all right don't show your teeth fucking look down cover your shit. My highlight was the guy next to me got a call on the bus and I saw the caller ID and it just said child's mama. Child's mama. Child is so horrible. Not baby mama.

Just a child. Just a vague child's mama. That's even his child. Just a child somewhere. Just the store got loose. That's how you know you hate this bitch. Because baby mama has some familiarity but you're like, that is my child's mama.

That's what he wrote in the divorce papers in Cran, presumably. That's good. God damn it. I love being in the Midwest because this is like the first place I've ever been where I'm not the fattest person. It rips so hard. Because in LA, I'm fucking disgusting. I'm barely not Tom

like it's and then I got here I just got off the plane I'm like oh fuck I'm hot in Wisconsin we went across like a weird fuckability time zone

and now daddy's a seven like it's I want to ask a quick question who hasn't heard the podcast before I haven't heard you ever

get the fuck out of here get him you said that like with such an air of defiance Like the music from Les Mis was gonna swell up Did you hear these dipshits talk about soup Or wieners or whatever Okay so just one guy thinks he walked into Like oh I guess GameStop employees

Decided to unionize wow God damn we have a whole fuck of a show prepared for you guys. Oh, boy. What do you say we get into the opening segment, the Mexican joke off, ladies and gentlemen. Aye, so topical. All right. Now, here's the deal. Normally when we do live shows, we bring

a dominatrix up to beat us up during the Mexican joke off. However, we ran into a problem in that none of us know a woman in Chicago. And apparently, neither do you. So everybody's getting something else. First of all, we're going to toss these out to the ground. Who wants to participate in the Jokoff?

Yellow shirt, you ready? Yeah. Who wants to throw a dodgeball at Tom's dick is the more appropriate question. Oh, over here? Dude, here's the great part, is that none of you have any hand-eye coordination. All right, ready? All right, and we got one more.

Oh, right there? All right, get him, Scarf. You guys love volunteering to hurt me. I like this town. So if Tom bombs his jokes, we're going to call you guys out. Your job is to hit him as hard as you can. He's going to put his hands behind his back, aim for the dick, the face will also be funny.

Yes. And make eye contact. When Keith bombs, we're going to make him watch a dog fuck a lady again. And then when I'm done coming, I'm going to drink fucking Malort. Malort sounds like the name of the homeless dwarf in the mines. It's just like, ah, Malort. And I want to be clear. I don't really know what this is.

I've been told it's a nightmare. The guy who suggested this idea was like, Google Malort face. And a picture of him came up. That's how bad it is. It just looks like a bunch of Packers fans looking into the Ark of the Covenant. Fucking brutal.

So I'm doing a half shot of that if I bomb a joke. And Connor, what are you going to be doing if you bomb a joke tonight? Ladies and gentlemen, Chicago showed out this evening, and I'm going to reward you and eat soup for the first time in my autistic adult life. I picked it out, and he does

not know what flavor it is, so we gotta see if his stupid mouth can figure it out. Oh man, okay, this is the only time my see if his stupid mouth can figure it out. Oh, man. Okay. This is the only time my mouth will be stupid next to yours, you son of a bitch. All right. God help us. No one wants to start. Oh, that's right. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it.

This time, I really don't want to drink whatever that is. Yeah. All right. Assisted suicide was just legalized in Hawaii, so now aloha means hello and goodbye cruel world

don't boo me I think you gotta take a shot of Malora baby give me the thing shot shot oh they just left us the bottle

that's a bad idea alright there you go buddy buddy. Oh, fuck. Hey, hang on, hang on. Is this the right portion, guys? It sure is. Hey, I gotta host the rest of the show, man. We're sorry. Oh, fuck you! Why is that a product that you sell

to other humans? Jesus fucking... I just drank a rape. What the fuck? Oh, God. I'm sorry. I'm spitting three rows back. Dude, it looks like you just free-based pubes.

Oh, no! Oh, no! And I liked that joke. They're not getting better. All right, Tom. Okay. The Japanese, you guys know the Japanese.

The Japanese just celebrated their annual penis festival. The festival was considered a huge blur. I like that joke. What do you guys think? Hey! You're safe. Hey do you guys think? Hey! You're safe!

Hey! You guys are great! All right. I like you too! Here's the thing. Fuck them! No matter what you say right now, you're so fucked.

We'll see if I can pull it out. best goddamn joke ever written. Spoiler alert. They're really shitty. All right, guys. A sperm whale washed ashore on the Spanish coast after being killed by latex poisoning. In a related story, Keith's mother took a European

vacation and did the condom snorting challenge. Oh, I live to be autistic another day, Keith! Suck my dick! You're fat and you're also gay! He actually is. I'm not that guy If you don't know the show

I'm just gay enough for that to be okay A sperm bank in China Is demanding their customers sign a loyalty pledge To the communist party They've also started referring to jerking off in a cup As seizing the means of production I think I'm getting by on that one You're safe Oh boy cup as seizing the means of production. Ooh, very good. I think I'm getting by on that one.

You're safe. I like it. Oh, boy. That still tastes bad. I thought it would end. This is the dog fucking story of drinks. I was like, it's bad. We did it, and then it just haunts me forever. Wait, have you guys ever heard

the story about... Then subscribe on iTunes, motherfucker. Or ask him after the show. me forever. Wait, have you guys ever heard the story about Keith? Then subscribe on iTunes, motherfucker. Or ask him after the show. He loves it. So much. Carrie Underwood posted the first photo of her face since falling on it.

Don't worry, America. She still looks like an overrated cunt. I'm gonna to give you a big target. Oh, that'll be hard. You guys, the new Bane sucks, am I right? Hang on, I'm going to stop something

really bad from happening. Oh, good call. Who's hitting me? Let's go over here in the corner. You got the first shot. All right. Yeah, there's like a free throw line. Come as close as you need to to hit him in the dick.

No, yeah. Because I can't throw. Yes! Hey, can I tell them what you told me before the show? This woman left her mother's funeral early to be here tonight. Come on! God rest your soul. God damn it.

Oof. Okay, I got a tough follow here. A woman has accused a top official in the Mormon church of rape. Trauma coach Dice Clay told the woman, in one night you went from magic underpants to tragic underpants. Oh! That wasn't very good. Sue! Sue! Sue! Sue! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup!

It's kind of far away. This seems like a real weird rally to anybody outside. They're like, man, the alt-right is really reaching. Yeah, Nazis love flavor. Master chowder. Any guesses what it is, Connor? While he's working on this, I guess Tom went over and was like, oh, this is, Connor? While he's working on this, I guess Tom went over and was like,

this is for my friend. He's never had soup. And the guy was like, don't worry. I'm going to make it the best goddamn soup ever. He was so excited because of the fucking camera. He thought we were doing a good thing for his business. How's that look? Like cum. This looks like

a 12-day load. As Keith would say, a long-haul trucker amount of jizz. Yeah, that shit looks ropey, my dude. All right, here we go. Oh, it's so hot. I was right about this shit like here's the thing I don't know what we all thought was gonna happen when he ate the soup

we've been hyping this up for so long oh you don't get a chaser what the fuck is this I didn't get a chaser you bitch the fuck is this shit? I didn't get a chaser, you bitch. Well, yeah, your dumb ass should have got an Arizona JC. I don't get like an ibuprofen. Someone grab the chaser. I'm fighting with dignity. Hey, don't worry.

I still fucking take... Oh, my God, that sucks so bad. Dude, hero, right there, hero. Thank you for your service. Dude, are you going to let a deranged man with a camera on his face boss you around? We're friends, douchebag. See? I feel you.

Keith, tell a joke. I'm trying. Grinder turned nine years old today. Or as it's known in the gay community, 18. Alright, Keith survives. Tom, you're up. Okay. A Pennsylvania couple beat their child to death because he spilled his cereal.

The toddler's last words were, I know I asked for kicks, but this is ridiculous. Holy shit. Nicely done, you dumb shit. The one time it would be beneficial for you to be bad at this. Every other time you're just like, you guys know Purple, right? So Purple went to war with my dumb mouth.

Oh, man. All right, guys. A man fatally stabbed his father in the eye with a butter knife. Detective Tom Goss concluded, okay, he lost his glasses and thought he burned his toast, but it turned out it was his dad. Open and shut crime. Oh, soup! No spoon this time.

Just take a shot, dude. No. Since the joke is about me, I think I should feed it to you. Alright, here comes the plane. Oh, God. This is the 9-11 of soup. Yeah! This is what mild

internet celebrity... Guys, this is what his suffering is. I'm trying so hard not to throw up. I like that his punishment is just eat up basic food. I would just enjoy soup. All right. Oh, God, I feel bad. A Chicago public school is being built

on the site of 38,000 unmarked graves. Sorry, what I meant to say is it's being built anywhere in Chicago. That's a shot. That's a shot. Yeah. Give me the fucking thing. Fuck you.

I like that person. I will die. Oh, cool. Thanks. Oh person. I will die. Oh, cool. Thanks. Oh, you were so right. Fuck. Who calls something malort? Does that mean something in Chicago? Is that like a street here or

something? That tastes like cinnamon that's breaking up with me. What is that? I love cinnamon. I'm trying to see if I wrote a better joke earlier and I did not. Alright, well, it if I wrote a better joke earlier, and I did not. All right, well, it's my turn. Okay. Oh, yes.

A coffee shop in South Carolina started exclusively hiring special needs people. They are worried about corporate monopolies threatening their business, such as Darbucks, Duck and Donuts, and Hugs Horton. All right. That was all vowels. Dude, you got to give me the ice cream. Who's got the ball? We got one right here.

All right. Get in here. Get him. Okay. Yes! Okay. I was expecting the balls, but okay. God, what if that ball hit him and just fixed him?

It's like I say, chaps, this is a bit demeaning. Tom, you have to do the rest of the show with a British accent Just for continuity Alright Hey, I'm shutting this down right now Connor, you're up Bro, I wrote Oh man, I gotta eat more soup

I have faith in you I'm not doing well, you guys Jay-Z and Kanye West Not doing well, you guys. Jay-Z and Kanye West. Oh, this is Chicago news, everybody. You guys know Chicago, right? Anyway, they've announced that they're no longer feuding and they're friends again. Inspired by their camaraderie,

Keith Carey's gonna start fucking that lady that made him watch the dog fucking videos again. Soup! I think that's two soups. Two soups? I'm gonna do a two soup. Feed me the soup, you monster. And Tom, you hold the bag.

I'll get a good chunky one for you. Oh, that looks... Come on, you baby. Aim it that way. Oh, shit. Oh, man. I really need him to bomb his last joke. Holy shit, is he throwing up? Almost.

Here, take this back. Are you not entertained? You pieces of shit. Here's the best thing. All those iTunes reviews really don't matter that much. No. We've still never been on the new and noteworthy charts, you guys. People have told me they broke into... Jill broke into phones and borrowed

their families to leave us iTunes reviews so this dude would try fucking soup. And you guys saw it, and here's the best part. I forgot to set up the video camera, so I gotta do it again. What the fuck is on my forehead? Oh, shit. I guess you... You know, I forgot

about it after a while. We got one more run, guys. Oh, that was fucking punching, dude. Hey, smell that. Is that the ghost of your mom? Holy shit, dude. Soup! Soup!

Soup! All right, easy, you animals. Last round. A Pennsylvania... Oh, shit. A Pennsylvania man is on the run for sexually assaulting Amish women. Luckily for him, the only way an Amish woman can tweet Me Too is to write it on a scroll

and tie it to a pigeon. Fuck! Malort. Malort. Malort. Dude. Oh, no, He's taking shots This is fitting because a lot of people don't know Keith's mom tried to have him malorted But uh

He was too fat to be malorted She's had 10 malortions Never again Nice God I hate Chicago now I still like you guys. You were cocked and ready to load, dude. I didn't say that correctly.

It sounded too sexual, but he's going to throw a ball at me. My lips are so salty. Okay. Congratulations. A Florida woman... Yeah, yeah. A Florida woman blamed the cocaine the cops found in her purse on the wind.

In other news, Harvey Weinstein blamed his rapes on the California drought. Oh, boy, that was rough. Come on up, yellow sweater. Hey. Oh, you're going from downtown? Do I go from there? All right, call me in.

I moved. Is that a Okay I'll allow it You already took one of the nuts real bad Hey yeah You know what He did take one of the nards Eh what the fuck

Throw it at his nuts Yeah alright Yeah do it Nuts Or wherever I don't know Follow your heart Fuck

Oh god my nipples Somehow that seemed worse Dude that sounded like a Dude that Fuck. Oh, God, my nipples. Somehow that seemed worse. Dude, that hit like the perfect pepperoni circle right here. That sounded like a Looney Tunes anvil made of ham falling on a bigger ham. All right, guys. Finally, Chicago has seen a drop in murder over the last 13 months. The killing reached an all-time low about 30 seconds ago when Tom told that joke.

Ah, damn it! I don't want to do it! That's unfortunate. Oh, you should have wrote me. Hey, come feed me some soup. Your mom would have wanted it. She would have. She loved my podcast.

She didn't like Mean Boys She liked the other one Alright Oh fuck Don't say Chunky man Fuck I'm about to like Gallagher The guy who's letting me

Sleep on his couch If you keep saying Food adjectives It's nice and creamy If you keep saying food adjectives. That's the Mexican joke off, you fucking pieces of shit. We got a lot more show for you. Right now we're going to bring up a very funny local comic. He's going to do some stand-up and then we're going to be back to fuck around.

This guy's great. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Brandon Kiefer! One more time, everybody. One more time for Brandon Kiefer, everybody. Let him hear it. Your dad's name was Newton Kiefer? Newton Kiefer sounds like a German word for farting and cumming at the same time. Oh, dude, I got this new website. They do Newton Kiefers. It's fucking sick.

I was looking at the confederate flag And I realized Malort is just the confederate flag Of here Like it's a thing that only exists to hurt people And I don't know why you won't let it go I'm gonna be honest with you guys I'm still trying actively in every moment Not to puke, I'm gonna be real

I'm drunk So this is gonna to get sloppy. But we're going to play one of our favorite games from the podcast. This game is called Did They Die? Alright. Do you listen to Mean Boys? You're too nice.

Oh. I like that every time there's just a moment of silence you just pick a fight with somebody who paid to be here. Fuck you, get your money back. I was just shocked. I thought this fucking asshole kidnapped you. Hey, we're going to one of my alt-right radio conventions. We do have an audience of just neckbeards and victims.

That is kind of our look. Watch your drinks, everybody. So the way this game works, for anybody who's never heard it, for Brandon, who's new to the show, I'm going to read you guys some real shit that happened in the news this week. All we've got to figure out

is if the person involved died or not. Very easy. So let's go through. Number one, a couple got into an argument during Easter dinner. To prove her point, the woman proceeded to spray her boyfriend with gasoline and set him on fire. Did he die? I thought your mom's new marriage was going well.

This is shocking. I should have to do a show out of Malort every time I make a joke about Keith's mom. Hey man, at least one of us can rely on her. I know. This is the most she's worked in 20 fucking years. Yeah, Keith left his mom's funeral early and he's like, I'll see you at the next one. I think that guy's dead, man. Gasoline

doesn't go out. I mean, I've lit shit on fire with gasoline and it just fucking stays. So I think he's dead. Yeah, dead. What did she spray him with? Gasoline. Was there a device or did she just chuck it? She got handfuls of gasoline, Tom.

She put it in her mouth and spit it like a cool Cirque du Soleil lady. I don't fucking know. If that's how she did it, I'd say alive. But I think you're lying by your tone. I'm going to say dead. Tom, your fucking follow-up questions. Well, Tom has to chase the logic down the rabbit hole to nowhere because that... There we go.

That didn't work as well as I hoped it would. Let's put it together. That is why. They're like, we know. We listen to the show. Don't we? This feels so special. You guys, they could not give

less of a shit. Yeah. This man I told you guys. He's alive. Aww. They were all a little sad that he's alive. What I love about that is the spray and gasoline. She couldn't have just had that at the dinner table. So whatever

this fight was, she's like, I'll be right back. And she was gone for five minutes filling something up in the garage, she's like, I'll be right back. And she was gone for five minutes filling something up in the garage and he's like, oh, the silent treatment, eh? And she came back and just lit him the fuck on fire. Well, we were supposed to coronate our anniversary with a super soaker flamethrower

like we do every year. In the South, every anniversary is the super soaker flamethrower anniversary. Every time an ex has been like, we have something to talk about, I expect her to spit gasoline at me. Every time an ex is like, we need to talk, I just assume it's going to be that scene in Goodfellas where Joe Pesci gets killed. People went into a garage, it was fucked.

Number two. A woman was rushed to the hospital after receiving bee sting acupuncture recommended by Gwyneth Paltrow. Is that lady dead? I like that you guys were on the fence until you heard Gwyneth Paltrow. Like, she's just like the fucking gerbils of basic bitches. Like, where she goes, death surely follows.

We're like, if she's not, I hope she is. What's in the box? Anybody who ever listened to Gwyneth Paltrow. We will sew the two purse dogs together for Nazi science. I don't have a problem

with Ms. Paltrow. I think she's alive. Hey, Tom. Tom. 30 seconds on the clock. Name seven Gwyneth Paltrow movies. Oh, shit. This last joke we just did.

And that's it. Was she the Spider-Man bitch? I don't remember. That's correct, Tom. Gwyneth Paltrow is the Spider-Man bitch. Titanic. Was she blonde or redhead? I don't... Oh, oh. She fell off a bridge. Spider-Man bitch. Titanic. This summer. Was she blonde or redhead?

I don't... She fell off a bridge. It was in a superhero movie, right? Yes. She's Mrs. Iron Man. Mrs. Iron Man. She sure is. Is there a Mr. Iron Man?

I don't know if that's true or not. Yeah, she's Pepper Potts. I'm alive. Okay, so I think that she is alive because if you're getting beasting acupuncture, you're probably very aware of your bullshit Beverly Hills allergies. So I'm going to say she's alive.

Okay. Randy, your thoughts? Yeah, like I said, if you listen to Gwyneth Paltrow, I've got to assume that you're probably alive. You know what I mean? Because Gwyneth Paltrow has made it this long already. That's a alive, you know what I mean? Because Gwyneth Paltrow has made it this long already. That's a fair point. Yeah, she made it through. Maybe this lady could too.

She's made 18 Iron Man movies. I think you can survive a beasting. You're like, I can't tell if you're fucking with me or not. We got two alive. Tom, what do you think? I mean, I don't know whether or not you guys are fucking with me with the Pepper Potts thing or not. Yeah, she's really Pepper Potts.

She is really Pepper Potts. Oh, okay. Alive. I like Iron Man. Why can't I have faith in a franchise? All right, cool. Well, that bitch is dead. Well, we're going to pour soup on her grave?

Like a 40 for a fallen gang member? It'd be so great if this gal was like, oh my God, how did they find that story? I didn't know it came out yet. She's in there. Anytime, if you want me to stop, anytime, I'll stop. No, I'm fine.

Okay. What a weird fucking thing that's happening. That wasn't awkward. All right. Number three. An Australian man was stabbed in the back during a bar fight. Realizing he had a six-inch knife lodged in his body and was losing a lot of blood, he had no choice but to sit down and order another beer.

Is that man alive or dead? That's not a stab wound. See Keith Carey's mother? You know what, pussy? That's a stab wound. God damn it. Oh, man. Dude, Australians, they're like,

they're fucking, they just keep going. They're like the energy is their bunny. Energy is their bunny? They have survived all of God's first drafts wandering around that island. Yeah, I think that guy's alive. Okay, everything alive. Tom, what do you think? My dad got shot in the back, and then he

walked around for a while. And then the cops, they removed the bullet a couple years ago because it was too close to his heart. The cops were like, hey, do you want an ambulance? He was like, why? He didn't even feel the fucking thing. Wait, he had a bullet too close to his heart? Yeah cops were like, hey, do you want an ambulance? He was like, why? He didn't even feel the fucking thing. Wait, he had a bullet too close to his heart? Yeah. Tom, do you think your dad is Iron Man?

This happened before Iron Man. Oh, okay. Iron Man is your dad? Hold up, Gwen is calling me. Hi, Mom. I'm at the podcast. Yeah, no. Oh, Dad? Okay. Yeah, there's this shot wandering around Long Beach.

Everyone was like, why is everyone screaming? And then eventually someone told him, hey, you got a bullet in your back. And you know what? If an Australian can't live for that shit, fuck him. I think he lived, and if he didn't, he's a little bitch.

That's what I say. We got two alive. I think he lived and if he didn't, he's a little bitch. That's what I said. We got two alive. I think he died only because he lived through the initial one, but he pulled it out and he goes, that's not a knife, and he pulled his own knife out. That's a knife! And it was just to prove a point. To nobody. The bar is empty.

To the gate and alligators. I feel like that joke needed more of Keith's mom's pussy, but what the fuck do I know? It's not like I'm a professional broadcaster. Well, that dude is alive. Yay! He ordered that beer and then I assume drove himself to the hospital in a kangaroo.

In a kangaroo. In the past. And I'll use you, Blanka. We got two more. Man, that Malort caught up with me. Reading is a problem. You drank a Robin Williams character, you fucking idiot. What, Malort from Ork?

Yeah, yeah. I feel like Robin Williams now. Malort is also the sound that Keith makes when he walks around, just, Malork, Malork, Malork, Malork, Malork, Malork, Malork. My whole torso is just a flesh tuba. It just fucking mocks me constantly. Well, I think we have an episode tied off. And you all know what that means.

It's going to be called something else. I thought a flesh tubuma was a queef. You're somehow not technically wrong, but also the wrongest a man can be. All right, number four. We got two more. Number four. A suspect was pulled over while holding seven grams of cocaine.

The police reached the car just in time to watch him swallow all seven grams of cocaine. Yo. Is that man alive? And that man is Tony Robbins. I just like how they waited and watched him. Like, one gram, two grams.

He's going to do it all. I like the idea that he has it divvied up into, like, bites. Like, fun-sized wrappers. We're going to let him go. We're going to see how much he can eat. It's like Cool Hand Luke. Can that be my next Mexican joke-off thing? Can I just do cocaine Mexican joke off thing? Can I just do cocaine instead of drinking soup?

Hook it up, Chicago. Man, seven grams of cocaine. All right. Was the guy in question your mom? Because that'll change the calculus a little bit. Yes, it was. My mom got a sex change, moved to Florida, and ate a bunch of coke. That would be the most responsible thing she's ever done in her life.

That's less ridiculous than my mom got married in a parking structure in Laughlin, Nevada. All right, I think that guy's alive. Yeah. Somebody. Yeah, I, all right, so I've never swallowed that much cocaine, but I have swallowed like a half a pound of aspirin, and I'm fine, so I've never swallowed that much cocaine, but I have, I have swallowed like a half a pound of aspirin and I'm fine, so I think he's alive. Didn't feel better, felt worse.

Half a pound of aspirin. Yeah, Tom walks up to the deli counter of the Suicide Store. Yeah, can I get a half a pound of aspirin and some brisket to wrap it in? I'm gonna kill myself like I'm a sick dog. It makes it a lot easier. This ain't my first... I'm too fucking sad for this World Rodeo, okay? One wheelbarrow full of Sadville, please.

Oh, and a French roll. I fucking love French rolls. Brandon, what do you think? Oh, seven grams of cocaine. I think he's alive. I think he's alive. I think he's alive because I think if they're wrapped up, he could become president at this point.

That's how you become God of America? You get all the blow? Jesus of America. Well, that man is dead as fuck. No! All right, and the last one. And listen, normally I read through and I summarize the headlines.

I did not change one word of this headline, and it's my favorite one I've ever used. A Florida man built a homemade whiskey bomb to kill his neighbor's chickens. Oh, he's fine. He's fine. Yeah, he's fine. Is that man alive?

Is that man your mom? God damn it! A homemade whiskey? Is a whiskey bomb a kind of drink, gang? Why did you say that like you were going to teach him about drugs? Hey kids, let's rap about the law. Do you guys think that disappointing your parents is cool? 21, plenty of fun Underage, not allowed to rage

What? Oh, shit Give this bitch a round of applause Move your autistic hands, I'm looking at you Holy shit Give this bitch a round of applause. Move your autistic hands. I'm looking at you. Holy shit. Man, you hit him in the nuts and him in the heart. That was amazing.

That was beautiful. That's what Mean Boys is all about, honestly. Not to get serious with you guys. Once again, you do this weird PBS fucking... I have nothing. Keep dancing for a few minutes. I had the brain thought and it didn't articulate the words

and so I just started moving like an animatronic bear. I have nothing. Tom, you look like a mad scientist trying to build a better Funyun. Yeah, and it's just my fucking being. Tom is the Joseph Mengele of snacks. It's like I poured boiling water into a bag of Doritos. I call itle of snacks. It's like, I poured boiling water into a bag of Doritos. I call it

Dorito soup. It's incredible. We've doubled up on Mengele references tonight. It was a callback. Alright, Florida Whiskey Man. Is he alive or is he dead? I say that man is alive. Living as a woman in Orange County, California with your new dad.

Brandon, your thoughts? Being from Georgia, I am aware of how the sand gypsies live down there. The sand gypsies? Yep, sand gypsies. They're the only ones that pull trailer parks up on the beach. Dude, I'm a guy who's got a think piece written about him for saying retarded on a Yu-Gi-Oh!

podcast. I don't know if you want to do that here. We don't like to use slurs on the Mean Boys. So you think he's alive? Oh, he's fine. Okay, cool. Alright, I'm going to say he's okay, but I think the chicken's dead.

Not all the chickens. I think the bomb didn't work, but he just hit one chicken and just blunt force trauma killed the chicken and then had a nice meal. I think before I give you the answer, I think we can all agree it wasn't a whiskey bomb. He just lit a bottle of whiskey on fire and

called it that. That's how you make them a lord, isn't it? I thought that was the recipe. It's like he shook up a can of beer and was just like Pabst Grenade! Alright, so that man survived. He was alive. And before we bring up your next comic, I want to show you his head shot

because he got arrested for this. Jesus fucking Christ. Like, this man is so gross, his beard looks like it's running away from him. He looks like the doctor from the movie Hellboy if he molested Hellboy. I don't know, dude. I think your mom looks hot.

God damn it! One more time for Brandon Kiefer, everybody. Brandon Kiefer, everybody. Thank you very much for coming. You guys, we got another great local comic coming for you. But before we do that, we want to talk to you guys about something called ecstasy.

The kids are calling it E. We sure are. We're going to go do ecstasy. While we're doing that, ladies and gentlemen, make it loud right now for Darius Kennedy! Darius Kennedy, motherfuckers! One more time for Lonnie Kravitz, everybody.

We're not going to have his set on the podcast, so that's going to sound very racist to the listeners at home. It makes a lot of sense in context. We're going to move on to one of our favorite games. We can only play this when we have a projector set up. That happens very rarely because we usually do shows in Denny's. So fucking...

Here we go, ladies and gentlemen. This is Mean Boys Fan or Sex Offender. Yeah. Shall we sing the song? Yeah, let's do it. So excited. Mean Boys Fan or Sex Offender. Mean Boys Fan or Sex Offender.

Mean Boys Fan or Sex Offender. Did he touch or sex offender? Mean boys fan or sex offender? Did he touch a kid's butt? Probably. Like every mean boys game, the rules are the name of the game. I'm going to show you a picture. We've got to debate whether this is a mean boys fan or a sex offender. And if you're asking, how did I find pictures of sex offenders? Don't worry about it.

Because it's only kind of legal. So, number one. Keith hacked his mom's Tinder account. Boom! Half court. That's impolite. Number one. Shit, that's tough.

Mean Boys fan, sex offender, or every dude in this bar? Mean Boys fan. We're hearing a lot of Mean Boys fan support out thereender, or every dude in this bar? Mean Boys fan. Mean Boys fan. We're hearing a lot of Mean Boys fan support out there. Darius, your thoughts? I'm going to go sex offender. He has bangs.

Oh, yeah. Fantastic Sam's. I want to look like Butch, but also thoughtful. Is racist spellcaster an option? Because if it is... It's like his hair says I read books and his beard says I burn them. Yo, I gotta say that man is

a Mean Boys fan. That's one of ours. You know, I don't like the weird part in the middle of his bangs. That's weirding me out. I think if he's a sex offender, he's a nice one. He's got that eye roll on. Yeah, a thoughtful

philosopher, sex offender. I'm gonna go sex offender. I'm only gonna offend someone here. I think, therefore, I rape. Alright, let's see. That man is a mean boy. To be or not to be allowed within 30 feet of a school. Mean Boys fan or sex offender?

Sex offender. Oh wow, you guys turned on this dude hard. I think that's the guy from the bus earlier. Damn, that's a rough look, dude. It's a good thing he got this beautiful backdrop for this selfie. He's like, yeah, this is me looking good.

Better capture this. Looks like he's saying, this is how I'll sex a fan on this corner. He's a reverse pimp. Dude, his head is shaped like a retarded acorn. That's not a good look. I can't tell if he has an earring or that's the concrete. It wasn't funny. I'm genuinely

asking. I cannot tell. I like that his hair just has like a gnarly wave. Like you could fucking rip that thing. Yeah. Alright, well let's find out. You guys all said sex offender. Yeah, sex offender. That man is a sex offender. Yeah. Fuck that guy. Don't. I fact checked this. Every sex offender

in this game is from within two miles of this bar. Oh shit. Hell yeah. That dude works at Jimmy John's. So keep your eyes peeled on the streets, folks. You might meet a star.

Hey neighbor, nice to meet you. Are you a fan of misunderstandings? Mean boys fan or sex offender or me if I tried to grow a beard. This guy looks like a football player that eats the footballs. This is like if Abraham Lincoln

didn't free the slaves at all. He looks like he sniffs seats. Yo, you are killing this shit, dude. Sex offender. That's gotta be a sex offender. Our fans, like, yeah, no, that's a sex offender. He's got, yeah, he's got sex

offender face, but he's got the mean boy's hopeful eyes. I'm going sex offender., but he's got the mean boy's hopeful eyes. I'm going sex offender. Let's see. Yeah, bitch. Alright, next one. Oh, no.

Oh, shit. Wow. He's dead, fuck you Hey, you want some extra credit in shop class? Just see me after school Hello, I'm Evil Bob Villa This secret house That dude looks like he assists dudes sniffing seats

He's a sex offender intern? Yeah. This guy's installing toilet cameras at a Magic the Gathering tournament as we speak. Oh, she's dropping a steamer. I gotta tap my land to that. I'm gonna go. He's got a mean boy smile. I'm going mean boy's fan.

He's got the eyes and the mouth. He looks lovely. I'm really hoping this doesn't bite me in the fucking ass. That's a Mean Boys fan right there. It sure is. Here's my favorite. Tom genuinely didn't know and he's met this dude several times.

I think so. All right. Jesus. I think so alright Jesus that's the Australian guy who got stabbed earlier I've never seen teeth throw gang signs before that's amazing this man fucking chews with a haunted house yeah that dude's mouth looks like an elephant

graveyard this is like the Baldwin brother they kept locked in the basement for decades. Dude, the curly hair is killing this weird, like, corner mullet. It's just such a bad look. What's up, everybody? I'm gay porn Danny McBride.

And like the crow's feet, it looks like he's been staring directly into a child's ass for like 30 years. I'll blink when you blink, brown eye. I'm just enjoying the part in the goatee. Too much soup, man.

Yo, I'm gone at that soup, Chicago. I just, I don't know. Those teeth are just mesmerizing. I don't know if he licks butt or eats glass. Whoa, don't talk about Keith like that. He put together a great game. Yeah. I don't think your mom's ever listened

to the show, so this one's hard. Okay, that's one times too many. Yeah, you did. You flew too close to the sun on wings of my mom's hepatitis. Well, your mom never flew close to her son because she's a terrible mother.

Give it up for Darius for grabbing the soup. I'm not eating any more soup. Come on! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! Soup!

Yeah, he's a sex offender. Alright, we're letting you off the soup hook. Hey, I know it's really good. That guy loves soup. Look at those teeth. He sips soup. He drinks it. Alright, B-Boys Fanta,

Zach the Fanta. On my way to kill your girl. Dude, can someone please queue up cruising down the street in my 6'4 right now? Holy shit. I didn't know they had a demolition derby at the Gathering of the Juggalos. Hey, check out my house.

That's Bubba Sparks now and he's also a Mean Boys fan. He's got that Echo Unlimited t-shirt. That shit's unlimited, man. He is testing the limits of Echo, man. What I like is that he had to get a special riding mower for fat pieces of shit. It's so wide and sturdy.

It's like that dude in the motorcycle gang on the trike. Just bring it up the rear like, yeah, I'd just like to get away from the wife on the weekends. Here's what I'm confused about. Does he think the thing in the background is a playground? Oh, that's a conflict of interest. That's a toddler thunderdome. That's what that is. We don't know that he fucks, like, kids.

He might just fuck, like, I don't know, cats. I don't... I think he... Oh, man. Let's find out. I gotta say Mean Boys fan. I'm Mean Boys fan. Mean Boys fan.

Mean Boys fan. Yeah! Yes! Echo! And by the way, you know how we find the pictures of the Mean Boys fan is just literally any person that listens to the show. There's no selection. It's just the first six people. Oh.

Okay. This photo of John Lennon taking moments before he was murdered. Hang on. Are we talking about the big one or the little one? And I want to remind everybody Victorian ghost is not an option. Hello. I mean, the kid

looks uncomfortable. That kid looks like, I don't really know this dude. He said he had candy, but like, we'll see. Goddamn. Let's get some guesses. That kid is a predator, definitely. This guy's a barista.

Look at the way that child is looking at that man's arm. Very sexual. Is that a man? This took a bad turn. Yeah. This is like, he works at a Starbucks in like Dante's Inferno. I'm going to say that's a Mean Boys fan. Wait.

Oh. It's a Mean Boys fan. It sure is. I know. I think I know who this is. Yeah, we're staying with that. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. How close does this person live? Whoa. Who wants to go see a movie after this? That's not even painted on. I got a serious question. Is putting on Joker makeup, is that like doing blackface for edgy white guys?

I think doing black that like doing blackface for edgy white guys? I think doing blackface is doing blackface for edgy white guys. Just chill out. Dude, our fans aren't allowed in Party City. I don't know. I've never seen a mouth that looks so abstractly vaginal. Tom, how many pussies

have you seen that have teeth? Did you fuck Keith's mom? Dude. I don't know. Talking guesses, Joe. Mean Boys. I'm going to say Saxofander. Darius, break the tie.

Oh, my God, man. He just looks like a crazy white dude to me. Yeah, but that could be either of those things. Oh, fuck. Mean Boys fan there. Nope. Fuck. Hell yeah. Converted juggalo. That's what I thought.

Two more. Whoa, this dude. Wear glasses. Also, that is not what Tom's torso looks like. Tom, show them what your torso looks like. Do a reenactment of the pose. Kind of. We're not going to wait for you to figure out how clothing works.

There you go, champ. My nipples are different. I have different nipples. You have pepperoni nipples. Tom is doing this shit like he's in court, and he's like, if the nipples are wrong, I have different nipples. You got pepperoni nipples. Tom is doing this shit like he's in court, and he's like, if the nipples are wrong, I didn't do it. I know I was supposed to make a rhyme. The black guy told me to.

I didn't kill that lady. You guys have no idea how bummed I'm going to be if I find out that's me. I'm going to say sex offender there. Mean boys fan. Mean boys fan. Mean boys fan. God damn it.

And I think this dude is here, right? Yeah, he's right there in the back. Oh, is he there? I'm calling you a sex offender. Sorry, homie.

By the way, you are way fatter in real life than you are in this picture, dude. That is a good picture of you. What does that say? I've heard that

on every Tinder date I've ever been on. Looking good. All right, we got two more. Oh, sorry, one more. This is the last one. Oh, shit. Dude, this guy just looks like he talks like a racist Italian

stereotype. He's on that pawn shop show, right? That's the guy from the pawn shop show. If you want to fuck a kid, you need the right sauce. Looks like he brags about getting new HDMI cables. Didn't Connor do that earlier? Oh, I don't think so.

Uh, yeah. Um, fuck. It looks like you're dead. I'm going to say sex offender. I'm going to say sex offender. Uh, no. I'm going to say mean boys fan. I'm going to say mean boys fan.

I'm going to say mean boys fan too. Okay. Oh, dick no. I mean, I feel like if you're a sex offender, wearing Joker makeup is pushing it, but like having dick, I'm gonna say Mean Boys fan. I think I saw it tonight. I think I saw it. Okay. Well,

I'm gonna promise you you didn't because this is a trick. This is neither. That is my dad. Holy shit. He's definitely a Mean Boys fan. No, he does not listen to the show at all. That is it for Mean Boys fan or sex off he does not listen to the show at all. That is it for Mean Boys Fan or Sex Fan. One more time for Darius Kennedy, everyone.

Great job, bro. Bob Keene, everybody. Bob Keene, everybody. And now it is time to do something we have never done live before. This is Tom Tomperdy. Yeah. Hey. before. This is Tom Tomperdy. On a separate note, if anyone

has seen a head cam GoPro, it is funny, but I want that back, please. Please, if you see the GoPro, say something about the GoPro. For the one guy who's gone when I pointed, he's literally going to the bathroom. Alright, fuck him. You guys know the go. Yeah. So for the one guy who's gone when I point at you, he's literally going to the bathroom.

All right, fuck him. You guys know the deal. Tom describes things in insane ways. Normally we do the lightning round and try to break his mind. This time is a little different. He has prepared a list of subjects and what they're going to mean. So let's scan through and see what our topics are for tonight's game of Tom Tomperty, shall we?

You guys ready for this? Yeah. All right. Chicago related. You guys know Chicago. Adult cartoons. The adult ones. Animals, but I'm describing them as if I only know them from being in Disney movies.

And by popular demands, Jews. Are you Jewish? Am I Jewish? I'm broke and like... No, I'm not Jewish. Why are you so mad? God damn, Bob.

That was not a good look. I don't control the baits. So Tom has the board. Step anywhere but in front. There you go, champ. All right. Bob, you're the guest, so we're going to let you select first. Whoever raises their hand first, Tom is the ultimate judge on this,

and they get to decide. So let's see how this goes. Oh, man, this is going to be a disaster. I can already tell. Yep. I only have ten minutes of funny in me, and it just happened, so this is about to be terrible. All right. I'll start off basic.

Chicago stuff for 100. Chicago stuff for 100. Okay. Chicago stuff for 100. Mirror food. Oh. Raise your hand. Connor.

Beans. Which one? Chicago beans. The bean. Yeah, points! Oh, god damn. They know. They're from Chicago. Are you guys known for a particular kind of bean?

Well, let's just do what we're all waiting for. I'll take Jews for 100, Tom. Jews for 100. Hidden black guy. Lenny Kravitz. No. Oh, shit. Sammy Davis Jr.

No. Lonnie Kravitz. The correct answer was Drake. Oh. Oh. You guys know. Tom missed the whole point of making the board He's not doing any of it

How did you do this wrong? He put the post-it notes on upside down I'm going to take Jews for two Jews for 200 Earwings Earwings? Earwings Wait, is it a specific Jew person?

Yes, all of them are Jew persons. Oh, okay, I shouldn't call them Jew persons. Oh, shit, ear wings? It's Dumbo Jewish, is the question. I don't know, I thought it was just the curly Q, fucking curly fries. That is hair. Does anybody know this one?

Anyone have any guesses? Did I miss the bar mitzvah scene from Dumbo? No, it was Ben Stiller. Oh. He got some big-ass ears. I will say, animals, but I'm describing them as if I only saw them in a Disney movie for $100. Fuck this already. Okay, and remember, the answer is an animal.

Spaghetti for the homeless. Dog. Dog. Correct. Yeah. Oh, goddammit, it's Lady and the Tramp. All right. All right, Cotter. Oh, fucking Disney animals for two, bitch

Disney animals for two, fish bitch Uh You're too excited, what is it? Dory? No Mermaid Correct! A mermaid's not an animal, you fucking idiot It's half an animal It's half

Wait, so humans are an animal? Okay, hang? Hang on. Hang on. Fucking drinks half Jewish. You guys didn't get upset about that. That's because we didn't know. Hey, here's what I just learned. Tom thinks that fish are vegetables.

Only the ones that are paralyzed, Tom. Oh, Jesus. Chicago stuff for two. Chicago stuff for two. Chicago stuff for 200. Why are you saying it like a vampire? Because I'm being helpful. Architectural cock measuring. Keith.

The Sears Tower. Points. Damn. Chicago for three. Chicago for 300. The C-T-E-P-T-S-D. Bob. The C-T-A.

I don't know what that is. No. Whatever the stadium is that they play football. That is... Sozer Field. You guys split the points. Yeah. This guy's name is also Connor.

Okay. What a great piece of trivia. Riveting, bro. Soup, soup. Connor, you control the board. I still picture of this just with the word Jews behind me. It's going to ruin whatever career. Not even in stand-up.

Just a career. Here's what I need to happen. Somebody take a picture of us in front of the word Jews, send it to the president of Hollywood, and then we'll all be famous enough to never have to come back here. Take me with you. No.

Hey, guys, we're opening for Owen Benjamin next week. Disney Animals for three. Disney Animals for 300. Racist crustaceans. Crabs. Correct. Are they racist? I feel like you've only seen two Disney movies.

It's a little mermaid. All right, Disney for $400. Disney for $400. Slinky squirrels. What the fuck? Slinky squirrels? Slinky squirrels. Shit, I have no idea.

We have a guest in the back. What do you think? What? No, that is not correct Any other guesses from the crowd? Yeah Chipmunks No

Alright, Bob, thoughts? None Not a one A slinky squirrel Oh no, like a dog Okay, Tom, what the fuck was that? You're bringing me down to your level, Tom. Bob, that sounded like someone was starting a racist motorcycle. Oh, fuck you. Disney for four. Disney for... Or for five. Okay.

Yeah, it'll be five. Five. All right, Disney for five. Let's close it out. All right. Plastic, old, and dead. Plastic, old... Wait, what do we got in the back?

Party. No. Was that a Nicole Smith in a Disney movie? That's really objectified women, ma'am. Okay, does Tom think that Prospector is a kind of monkey? You can't say monkey in front of a screen that says juice

It's too problematic Is it a dinosaur? Correct! It's the goddamn dinosaur from Goddamn Toy Story That is correct Fuck you Oh, God Adult cartoons for $100

I forgot we had another row Adult cartoons for $100 Actor animals Oh, Bo. Adult cartoons for $100. I forgot we had another row. Adult cartoons for $100. Actor animals. Oh, Bojack Horseman. Correct. Keith controls the board. I like that reaction. I was like, oh, that made sense. Yeah, like I was a gymnast.

Two. Good for you, Tom. For $200. Violent world versus children. Connor Golden is playing now Cool, thanks Alright Cool

Way to keep the ball in the air, guy Way to yes hand that What was it? Violent World vs. Violent World vs. Children What is the news? Keith Jesus

New Yorker Connor strikes again South Park Correct 300 You guys seem so bummed out 300 Keith. Jesus. New Yorker Connor strikes again. South Park. Correct. 300. You guys seem so bummed out. 300. For 300.

Welcome to the last live Tom Tomperdy ever, guys. Flammable shit in incest place. What? One sec. Jesus fucking Christ. You won't eat soup, but you'll fart on a mic and put it right up to your face. I was tired of you grabbing it and saying unfunny things. I wanted the microphone to myself.

I'm just here to smell your fingers. I'll tell you what's plastic, old, and dead. Your Anna Nicole reference. You tried to sell that shit, and we all rejected it. I'm old. Just do another one. Let's get through this. King of the Hill.

Oh, cool. Me. You know that edgy adult cartoon, King of the Hill, that came on on 7 p.m. on Sundays? Genuine question. All in favor of scrapping this and just doing lightning round? Okay. All right, Tom. Ready?

What? Yeah, let's do it. Chicago. Oh, um, uh, uh, uh, pizza place. What? What? What? They don't live here.

I don't know what that is. Is that some, okay. Everybody shut up. Boomerangs. Boomerangs. Uh, uh, uh, backup ball. Suggestions? Chicago Cubs.

We're really proud of that one win. It's the greatest game in the history of baseball. Alright, Tom. Australians. Australians. Backball throwers. I thought he was going to say punch you, New Zealand. Carrots. Carrots?

Oh, stabby veggie. My mom. Oh, Connor's only punchline. Ladies and gentlemen, that's the Meat Boyz podcast. Thank you guys for coming out This was amazing I fucking love all of you You guys are the best

We'll be in the back selling some merch You guys know how we close every show On the count of three, are you guys going to say it with us? Alright, one, two, three Fuck everything God is dead Crazy shit, man, crazy shit Play some music, it's awkward